Yak Marriage

by Silver Butcher

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Profanity, Yona, Anthro, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Spike, Comedy, Other, Romance
Length: 14262

Spike ends up engaged to Yona, so the two decided to come together and attempt to ruin their own wedding

After an incident involving 6 yaks, two Dragons, and half a ton of cheese The Dragons and Yaks are on the verge of a war neither side wants, with both sides to proud to let the other win they come up with a compromise thanks to an off-handed comment from Spike. And both sides give one of their own for an Arranged marriage for peace. Since it was his idea in a way Spike is thrown in for the Dragon side, and since she's the only Female Yak in the room Ruthordford throws in Yona. Neither Spike or Yona is all too happy to be thrown into the ring and both plot together to foil their marriage.

Cover art by Little Tigress

Featured 5-22-20
Featured 4-08-22

Published 2020-05-20 16:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2024-11-26 12:41:14 UTC

We Didn't Agree to This

The Castle of Friendship was full of noise, the mane 6 were waiting outside with Starlight, worriedly talking amongst themselves as Ember and Ruthordford held their attempted peace treaty. Spike sat in silence as Ember and Rutherford debated the only way they knew how; loudly and angrily. Around the room Spike could spot a few familiar faces, he saw Garble standing proud and realized he was sleeping on his feet. Smolder was near the back where a few snacks had been set up, she was the only one partaking of them as she slowly drained the punch bowl. The only yak he recognized on Ruthordford's side was Yona, who was much smaller than the other yaks in attendance. She looked about as done with this as every other creature in the room save the two leaders.

"...and where are the dragons in question?" Rutherford demanded as Spike started paying attention.

"I might be able to help you track them down if you had any other information about them other than, two dragons!" Ember snapped back, "Color, gender, size, horn shape, tail shape, ANYTHING?"

Rutherford looked to one of the yaks who had been at ground zero, one of the yaks horns had been taken off and been replaced with a solid gold end cap, he was also covered in bandages due to cuts and 2nd-degree cheese burns. "Two dragons!" The yak cried out.

"Two dragons!" Rutherford confirmed to Ember, "Bring them to me for judgment!"

"I don't fucking know who they are!" Ember screamed back. "And if I did then it's my job as Dragonlord to bring judgment, and I wouldn't need to, cause it was the yaks who caused it," As the two started getting loud again Spike sighed and reached under his seat for his bag, after a moment he pulled out a gossip magazine that had accidentally been given to him instead of Rarity. He had been about to return it when he was summoned by Ember to be the voice of reason. Since neither side had let him get a word in, he decided to just wait for them to burn themselves out. He began flipping through the magazine for something to distract him when he noticed something and proceeded to make one of the biggest mistakes of his life. The two leaders had both just taken a breath to start yelling again when Spike said: "Photo Finish is getting married?" He wondered as he started reading the article, Ember's ear fins twitched at the word marriage, as did Rutherford's.

"Marriage?" Ember pondered for a moment getting Spike's attention due to no longer yelling and saying the word: marriage.

"You two done yelling?" Spike asked.

"Yeah," Ember said as she thought for a moment, "I propose we end this peacefully with an...arranged Marriage,"

"Rutherford agrees!" The yak prince exclaimed as he offered his hand, Ember shook it and declared.

"I offer up Spike to be wed to the female yak of your choice,"

"Do what mate?" Spike demanded, in the back Smolder almost swallowed her cup whole.

"And I offer up Yona to be wed to Spike as she is the only female yak in this room,"

"Don't drag Yona into this!" Yona demanded as Spike got to his feet.

"It is decided," Ember cried out, "Spike the Dragon and Yona the Yak shall be married in...a month?"

"Two," Ruthordford decided "Have yak business,"

"Alright, Spike and Yona shall wed in two months times in exchange for peace from the dragons,"

"And peace from the yaks!" Rutherford declared.

"Alright we're done here," Ember said before turning to Spike "Thanks for the idea, Spike,"

"I wasn't trying to-" Spike countered before the rush of leaving dragons and yaks drowned him out, after a moment the only ones still in the room were himself, Yona, Smolder, and the still sleeping Garble. Yona and Spike stood in silence before shouting out angrily.

"We didn't agree to this!" They heard laughing and the two turned to Smolder, who was laughing herself silly.

"Oh you done fucked up," She chuckled before looking up, finding the both of them standing in front of her with a pissed look in their eyes. "Oh hey, look at that it's my brother, better get him home and whatnot," Smolder rushed past them and knocked Garble to the floor before dragging his still sleeping self out of the room.

"Why did you say marriage?" Yona screamed at Spike.

"I was just reading a magazine!" Spike snapped back "They weren't listening to me at any other point during this stupid debate, I didn't think they where gonna start without warning."

"Of course they were!" Yona snapped back "Yak are great listeners!"

There was a long moment of silence before Spike spoke up. "We gotta stop this!"

"You think!?" Yona snapped back "We need to...um," Yona stood in silent confusion as she tried to think how to stop it. "You could say no?"

"The Dragonlord said I have to marry you," Spike said bluntly.

"But I can't say no to Rutherford," Yona cried out "Is yak tradition if prince says you to marry, you have to marry!" Spike let out a small scream as he scratched at his head, Yona started pulling on her hair as she tried to come up with an idea.

"Wedding!" Spike cried out "Yona what happens if a Yaks Wedding is a horrible disaster?"

"Well typically-" Yona stopped panicking and a huge smile appeared on her face "-yak tradition states that if wedding is train wreck, marriage is null and void!"

"Perfect!" Spike cried out "We just have to fight every step of the way, ruin the cake, get Rainbow to ruin the weather, invite Blueblood so he spoils it for others,"

"Lose the rings," Yona added, "trash the dress and the tux, terrible music, even worse food!"

"Yona!" Spike cried out "Will you do me the honor of helping me ruin our wedding?"

"Spike, Yona would love to," Yona cried back as she leaned down and easily picked Spike up and placed him on her shoulders.

"Let's do this!" The duo cried out as Yona rushed out of the room with Spike. They rushed to the front door and slid to a stop just as they got to the main entrance, Twilight was taking to Ember just outside the door, Princess Cadance and Shining Armor were sitting off to the side, both looking relieved.

"Oh hey Spike," Shining called when he saw him, Spike waved.

"Don't tell them," Spike whispered to Yona "if Cadance finds out were fucking screwed." Louder, he called out "Shining, what are you doing here?"

"Just in case things got too crazy," Shining said as he took off his captain's helmet. "So, there a reason you're riding piggyback on your friend here?"

"I am Yona," Yona said simply "and we are going to the same place, I run faster than he can fly," She said simply. "Sorry if you want to talk but Spike and Me have much planning to do."

"Planning?" Shining asked, "You gonna throw a party or something next time Twilight's out of town?" Shining asked with a mischievous smile.

"Something like that," Spike said as Yona began making her way to the door.

"So how did you and Rutherford settle things?" Twilight asked, making Yona and Spike freeze.

"Oh it was all thanks to Spike," Ember said.

"Oh shit," Spike said, earning a shocked look from Shining before Ember said simply.

"He told me to just end it with an arranged marriage, so he and Yona back there were picked to solve the problem. There was a clattering sound as Shining tripped over his own hooves and fell to the floor, off to the side Cadance had gone from sitting and staring at the sky to standing proud with stars in her eyes.

Twilight stood slack-jawed for a second before demanding."What?"

Yona stood in silence and Spike sat on her shoulder in the same oppressive silence.

"You're engaged!" Cadence cried out as she enveloped Spike in her magic and pulled him off his perch and into a hug. "Oh thank Celestia! Not to be rude to Twilight but I was worried you'd be to busy serving her to ever start a family,"

"You can't get engaged," Twilight said angrily "You're both far too young for-"

"I am the Dragonlord," Ember interrupted "And I say he's old enough, Rutherford is the Prince of Yaks and he says Yona is old enough,"

"But you can't...but he...but..." Twilight ended up puttering out as she tried to think of an argument. Yona watched Spike get spun around by Cadence before being patted on the back by Shining who was laughing.

"From the sound of it, the two of you were hoping to make it a surprise."

"Oh sorry," Ember said looking back to Yona and Spike as she extended her wings "You should have said something before I did," she gave a wave and took to the sky after the dragons in the distance traveling back to the Dragon Lands.

"To be fair-" Spike tried to say only to be cut off by Cadence.

"I call dibs on being the wedding planner!" She declared "oh I'm so excited, oh I have to tell everyone! Shining you're in charge of telling your parents,"

"You don't have to-" Spike tried and failed to say as Cadence cut him off again.

"Spike don't be silly," She said happily "Of course I don't need to, but you better believe I'm going to!" Cadence dropped Spike and turned to Shining. "Meet you back home, I gotta go tell Celestia and Luna!" Cadence turned on the spot and teleported away to do just that.

"Well," Shining said as he helped Spike up to his feet "A yak huh?" He asked looking back to Yona "Never would have guessed it," Shining gave Spike a pat on the back and, after a quick goodbye to Twilight he made his way towards the Train station.

"Yona just wants to say-" she was cut off as Twilight walked past her and groaned.

"Yeah, you and Spike have fun, or...try not to have to much fun I guess," Twilight shut the door and from the other side Yona and Spike heard her call out. "Can't believe he snuck a relationship past me for so long," Spike rubbed the bridge of his nose as Yona picked him back up and placed him on her shoulder before heading into town.

"What did she mean about sneaking relationships?" Yona questioned.

"Twilight, and the others, clearly think we're an item, not a walking peace treaty." Spike groaned "But we can't tell them we're a peace treaty cause then they'll get pissed at Ember and Rutherford, then they'll be pissed back, and the odds of Twilight, Ember, and Rutherford coming to a peaceful conclusion when they're all pissed at the other two is not gonna happen,"

"So what is first step to ruining wedding?" Yona pondered.

"Well, we're gonna be stuck in the Crystal Empire so the ruin the weather idea is a flop unless we wanna steal Crystal Heart," the two thought for a moment before Yona decided.

"Dress and tux!" Yona declared smacking her own hand with a fist "If we don't have the proper articles of clothing it'll throw the ceremony off."

"Well, then we're in luck," Spike cheered, "We just have to avoid Rarity and her boutique for a few hours. She's going to spend the next few weeks in Manehattan, by the time she gets back and hears about the wedding she'll be too rushed to properly make us our respective suits," Spike smiled at his own genius and, after a few moments of Yona not replying he sighed. "Rarity is running towards us isn't she?" He asked.

"She is," Yona confirmed with a sigh. The two stood their ground as Rarity slid to a stop, a look of worry and glee in her eyes.

"You two, boutique, now!"

We Didn't Ask for This

"Honestly," Rarity said in a chastising tone as she changed the open sign to close and lead Spike and Yona to the back room. "I get you where planning to make it a surprise and such, but you should have told me you where engaged, your lucky Cadance dropped by and gave me the good news,"

"Yeah," Spike said in a very convincing tone "Luck Ember spilled the beans," Rarity slid to a stop and grabbed Spike's face, pinching his cheeks as she did so.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to come off so rudely, I'm just so proud of you, look at how much you've grown,"

"I'm pretty sure I'm Ponyvilles' shortest resident," Spike replied simply.

"Oh but getting married, starting a family, oh I'm just so proud of you, it feels like just yesterday you where a cute little baby trying to get my attention, and now your a man coming in with his betrothed," Rarity sniffed, "I think I'm gonna cry,"

"Please don't," Yona begged as Rarity lit her horn and levitated a large book to the duo.

"Don't worry I spent far too long on my makeup to ruin it, now luckily for the both of you, I still have your measurements so all you need to do is give me a dress code and I'll make sure all the creatures you invite keep to it," Yona and Spike stared at her blankly.

"Do what now?" Spike asked in confusion. The Look on Rarity's face indicated they had somehow made a mistake.

"You don't have a theme picked out?" She demanded, "Ok it should be easy to pick one, what kind of flowers are going to be presented?" Yona and Spike stared at her blankly "The Menu?" She tried again, only to gain blank stares "Guestlist?" She pleaded to their blank looks, "A Venue?"

"The What?" The two asked in unified confusion.

"Where is your wedding going to be?" Rarity cried out.

"The Crystal Empire," Spike said simply "Cadance called dibs on planning it,"

"Thank Celestia," Rarity sighed "Alright, have you picked out a date?"

"Two months," Yona and Spike said simply and froze at the look Rarity gave them.

"I think we should run," Spike whispered as Rarity's eye twitched.

"Yona agrees," She said as she and Spike both slowly backed away from her only for Rarity to walk past them silently and rummage in a bag for a moment.

"What did we do?" Yona asked in confusion.

"I don't know," Spike replied as Rarity pulled out a small button and began furiously pressing it, after the 4th push the room lit up and Cadance stood at the ready.

"What did they do?" She Demanded looking around "They're not chickening out are they?"

"Yak's don't chicken!" Yona replied firmly.

"Ok good," Cadance said with a sigh before Rarity spoke up.

"Cadance do you know the date they've picked for their wedding?"

"I hadn't thought to ask yet," Cadance said he voice growing suspicious "what did they pick?"

"Technically speaking it was Rutherford and Ember who picked-,"

"Two Months," Rarity cried out. Cadance stood in silence before turning to the two, without hesitation Yona and Spike dipped out of the room and hid in the kitchen.

"Two months," She demanded turning to the two as they slid out of view from the doorway. "Two Months," She repeated as she rubbed the bridge of her nose "No, it fine," She grumbled "With our luck, everything will go wrong last minute even if you waited a full year," Cadance took a deep breath. "Rarity I'm sorry to ask this of you but-"

"I'll cancel my trip to Manhattan, Spikey Wikey is far more important to me than a fashion expo,"

"Aw," they heard Spike say followed by a wack.

"Don't say that," Yona replied irritably "you'll just encourage her,"

"Yona you not whispering anymore," Spike said sharply, there was a moment of silence before the two slid into view from the kitchen for a moment and stared at Rarity and Cadance before sliding out of view again.

"Maybe don't use the pet name," Cadance whispered.

"Maybe," Rarity replied as Spike and Yona whispered just loud enough for it to be known they were talking to each other, but no loud enough for the actual words to be heard.

"Alright," Candace called out to the two "Have no fear, Cadance is here," She made her way into the kitchen and held her hand to her mouth as she watched Spike whisper into Yona's ear while sitting on her shoulder. "Oh that's adorable," She said making them jump.

"It's not adorable," Spike replied hastily.

"It's efficient," Yona agreed "Easier than having Yona get onto her knees so she can hear his whispers,"

"She also moves faster than me so it helps with travel," Spike added.

"Alright," Cadance said "Anyway don't either of you worry, By this time tomorrow I'll have a fully staffed workforce planning your wedding, the main ceremony will be held in my Throne Room since we never use it. You two don't have to worry about a thing, your weddings going to be perfect, I'll make sure to have so many contingency plans that nothing will ruin this for you,"

"Joy," Spike said in a convincing tone. Cadance gave them a patient smile before teleporting back to whatever she had been doing before.

"Alright," Rarity called out "I've got plans to cancel and new plans to make, see you two tomorrow, Why don't you have a nice dinner together and just enjoy the rest of your day? Things are about to get hectic," Spike and Yona gave Rarity a polite farewell and were silent as they exited her shop, they made it about 5 feet before Yona gave in.

"How are we gonna ruin this now!?" She demanded in as soft of a tone as she could manage.

"We need to think," Spike replied in a slight panic "Fall back, make a base of operations, make lists and charts, study Cadance and her operation, take potshots in the dark, plan our hits decisively, make dam sure no one catches us, obviously where gonna fail a few times at the very least," He said as he tapped his chin in thought, "But so long as we disrupt a few things we should be right as rain,"

"We should go to Sugar Cube Corner, Order food and Caffeinated drinks and set to work on planning the fall of our union,"

"let's just hope Pinkie doesn't know yet," Spike replied as they headed to the Sweetshop, Sugar Cube Corner was pretty empty save for Pinkie taking an order in the back from Rainbow dash and two Mares neither of them recognized. The two stood at the counter and discussed what to get.

"Home Delivery for sure," Spike said as he looked at the menu "So we can get started early,"

"Yona thinks we should get 3 Boxes of Donuts, One for both of us and one extra to split,"

"I'm gonna also get a Ruben from the Sandwich menu you getting anything?"

"Yona will get the Nacho's with Sourcream and extra Black Olives and-" Yona looked to Spike "-Should we order coffee?"

"No, we have enough coffee stored at the castle to provide a small nation with it," Spike replied as he looked at the drink menu. "How about a Milkshake?"

"Milkshakes are pretty good," Pinkie chipped in, the two looked down at the counter to see Pinkie had already jotted down their entire order.

"Vanilla," Yona asked.

"Strawberry," Spike decided after a short pause.

"Anything else?" Pinkie asked with a smile.

"No I think that's it," Spike said after a quick look at the menu "Yona?"

"Yona good," She replied "Put half on Yona's tab,"

"other half on mine," Spike confirmed.

"Okiey Dokie Lokiel," Pinkie cheered before giving them a mischievous glace "I'll bring it to the castle in about 20 minutes,"

"She knows," Spike whispered as Yona slowly backed away.

"Alright," Yona said as she slowly blackout towards the door "See you in 20 minutes," The two made it out the door and where halfway down the street before they started talking.

"We are so gonna get a party when we least expect it," Spike groaned.

"We have 20 minutes before she finishes order," Yona replied "We just have to work fast," The two made it to the castle and Yona slowed down to a walk upon reaching the door, she reached out to open it only for it to open without her, She looked down in silence as Twilight looked up at them in silence.

"Keep the door open," Twilight said simply as she let them in and shut the front door.

"door open?" Yona questioned.

"She means the door to my room,"

"Your dam right I do," Twilight replied as she gave them the stink eye, "Don't know how long this has been going on, but I will admit I'm impressed the two have you have been so successfully sneaky," Yona and Spike gave no reply as they made their way up the stairs. "Just remember, I'll hear if the bed starts rocking!"

"Yona thinks we should start with the rings," The two were sitting in Spikes room, crumbed and torn papers littered the floor around them 'it should be easy you just have to eat them and then we both deny that you did,"

"I hope it's that easy," Spike said as he started writing on a fresh piece of paper, "After that, we need to disrupt the menu, really throw a wrench into it, that will definitely be the easiest part, just have to slightly offend you and the other yaks with the menu so the foods table is wrecked,"

"Yona is confident we can easily achieve that," She replied with a smile, "And after we just have to make the dress code so frilly and fuzzy any and all of the dragons will throw a fit, even if one or two of them might like it they'd still go bat crazy just to save face,"

"Alright," Spike said as he looked at the mess of papers around them "We're already doing better than we have for the last half hour," There was a moment of silence before the two turned to look at the clock. "It's been half an hour," Spike repeated as he turned to look at Yona and sighed. "I thought for sure Pinkie would just bring us the food," Yona got up and once again put Spike on her shoulder as he looked over the notes they had. "Should we invite Blueblood?" Spike asked in a whisper.

"Yona doesn't know who that is," She replied as they walked into the hall and down to the main room, sitting in the center of the darkroom was their food and drinks on a cart, the milkshakes were still frozen Yona had just reached it when Spike realized what was happening.

"It's a trap!" Spike cried out too late as the lights flicked on and a huge crowd of creatures cried out.

"Surprise!" the two looked around the large crown for a moment before Pinkie bounced over to them and blew into a noisemaker.

"We didn't ask for this," They sighed in unison.

"I know!" Pinkie cheered "That's why it a surprise!" She took a deep breath and cried out as a banner dropped "Happy, Got Engaged Party!" Pinkie bounced out of the way as the crowd of ponies came to congratulate the two. Spike rolled up his list and was about to send it back to his room when Applejack plated Yona's back and sent Spike flying off, Spike was easily caught by Yona, but his list was sent flying and caught by Twilight with her magic, the two watched as she unrolled it and read it over. The Two stood in silence as she approached the two and smiled.

"I see you've made a list of everything that could go wrong at your wedding," Twilight said, a twinge of pride in her voice as she read through it "Spike'll try and eat the Rings," She nodded "You never could control yourself around gems, I'll ask Ember about gems Dragons Can't eat," Twilight read the rest of the list "Yaks offended by Food Menu, should be an easy fix if we give them their own Menu, and Dragon Dress code is even easier if we just tell them to wear whatever," Twilight rolled up the list and gave it back to Spike. "When you're done with it just give it to me and, after I've given it a good once over a few times I'll give it to Cadance," She turned to leave before smiling and looking back at them. "Don't think this means you can close the door though, I don't want to hear any rocking beds," as she walked away Spike groaned.

"And we fucking made it harder on ourselves," he blasted the paper and sent it to his room.

"Why didn't you just leave it in the room?" Yona demanded,

"I wasn't thinking," Spike managed to say before more of their combined friends started crowding around them again to congratulate the duo.

We Don't Wanna do This

Spike and Yona tried, and fail, to sneak away from the party three times, the first time they had been dragged into a song by Pinkie, the second time it had been by Twilight so she could take and add a few things to their list only for Pinkie to swoop back in last second to give them cake and make them the center of attention again, the third and final time had been Pinkie dragging them to a table full of presents.

"Alright," Pinkie said as she offered Yona the first one "I can see you're eager to get some alone time but first thing first, Presents!"

"Look this is nice and all," Spike said as he looked at the pile of presents.

"And we do appreciate the thought," Yona added as she tried to get up only to have Pinkie pull her back to the couch.

"But We Don't Wanna do this," They said in unison as they once again tried to leave, this Time Spike tried bailing and jumped off Yona's shoulder only for Starlight to catch him and Place him back on his perch.

"I know you're not supposed to give the gifts till the wedding," She said as she and the others got closer "But Pinkie insisted she couldn't wait, We'll all leave you to your own personal business, but to be fair, a whole group of your friends just went out and both bough and wrapped presents for you with like half an hour of warning," Yona and Spike looked to each other before sighing and giving in, Yona was given the first one present and upon opening the box she found a pair of matching golden necklaces with plastic gems,"

"I hope you like them," Rarity said from the back "Sorry for the plastic gems but I know for a fact that Spike can't eat plastic,"

"How...nice," Yona said as she made to put the top back on, only for the necklaces to be picked up by Rarity's magic and put around her and Spike's neck.

"Oh, good, they fit," Rarity said as she whipped some sweat off her forehead "I was a little worried what with being rushed and all,"

"Great," Spike said as he made to try and take his off only for Pinkie to toss a present at him next. "Oh boy," he added with a sigh as he opened the top. Yona and Spike ended up opening presents for almost 15 minutes before they were finally able to finally make it up the stairs. Only to be immediately followed up by Twilight and Applejack lugging their presents and the food they had ordered up after them. Spike and Yona just had time to sweep there mess into a pile before Twilight entered and pilled up their presents and began making a quick checklist to make sure she hadn't missed any. Applejack rolled in with their food cart.

"oh here," Twilight said as she picked up one of the presents and took a Coffee machine and Two Bubble wrapped mugs out of the box "Figured you two might need this before the wedding," Twilight very quickly set up the Coffee machine on a small end table in the corner of Spike's room and unpacked the contents of the food cart as she did so, Next to the Coffee machine she unwrapped and placed the Muggs, then placed the three Donut boxes next to it. She then placed Spike's Ruben and Yona's nacho's on their own table along with their somehow still preserved Milkshakes.

"Heads up," Pinkie said as she popped her head in threw the door "Those Milkshakes will start melting soon, oh, and Congratulations again!" She gave them a quick wave before dipping back out. As Twilight looked over the presents Applejack gave the two an odd look.

"So," She said in a whisper "You two were forced into this eh?" Yona and Spike stared at Applejack in silence "but you don't wanna tell Twilight cause she'll call it off, then Rutherford and Ember will start fighting again only with her added to the mix, and the three of them together will end in a war of some kind," Yona and Spike nodded in amazement "So the two of you are trying to throw the even off since Yak Tradition states that a Mess of a Wedding is a sign that it wasn't meant to be,"

"That pretty much sums it up," Spike said in awe.

"Yeah," Yona agreed in shock.

"Tomorrow," Applejack said simply "Meet me at the Barn Tomorrow at Midday," Applejack tipped her hat in farewell before making her way over to Twilight. "Alright Twi, let's leave them be,"

"Oh no," Twilight said eyeing them "I have a few rules I need to make clear,"

"Twi," Applejack said getting her friend's attention "They swore to me they haven't done and don't plan to do, any funny stuff until after the wedding," Twilight looked at Applejack for a moment before turning back to Yona and Spike.

"Well good," She said as she headed to the door "In that case, you may close the door, and Yona can spend the night since it's so late," Twilight paused at the door for a moment before adding "And Spike you have the next three months off, For the wedding and Honeymoon," Twilight exited the door and Applejack followed after, winking at them before shutting the door.

"Hot dam," Spike said as he fell back, off of Yona's shoulder, and onto his oversized bed, "Applejack would be a scary villain,"

"She really would be," Yona agreed as she made her way to the table and grabbed her the table bearing their food and milkshakes and dragged it to the bed before sitting next to Spike and taking hers, Spike got to his feet and dug into his food.

"So," Spike said after swallowing his first bite, "You keeping the Coffee machine after this is all said and done," Yona looked at him for a moment before looking back to all the presents.

"Yona hadn't thought of that, Guess we do need to divide the presents amongst ourselves," Yona pondered that thought as she took a sip of her milkshake. "Yona calls dibs on the pretty bracelets Fluttershy got,"

"Then I get the Sandwich press Granny Smith got,"

Twilight walked very slowly and very quietly to the door, It was almost Afternoon but a quick spell had informed her both Spike and Yona were still sleeping., just in case waking Yona up to suddenly resulted in her throwing something at her she very carefully and quietly opened the door to Spike's room, She spotted Yona instantly, she was laying on her side in Spike's bed with her body half covered in blankets, Spike himself was lying on Yona like a wet towel on a rack," She snuck into the room and gave a large sniff.

"Ok good," She said as she began looking around "So why did Applejack wink at them then?" Twilight began slowly and carefully poking around the room, she was just about to check Spike's drawer when her wing grazed one of the boxes and it fell over, Twilight Teleported outside the room and Yona shot up and sent Spike flying across the room and into the presents. Yona looked around confused as Spike dug himself out, the two looked around for a moment in confusion before locking gazes.

"Oh yeah." They said in unison as the previous day's events came rushing back to them.

"I'll have to check when they're gone," Twilight thought to herself as she retreated. Yona got to her hooves and made her way to the presents, easily plucking Spike out of them as she did so.

"What time is it?" Spike asked with a yawn as Yona set him on her shoulder and turned on the Coffee maker, After a few minutes the two were making their way down the stairs each with their own cup of joe, and found Twilight in the Dinning room eating her lunch.

"What time is it?" Yona asked with a yawn as she drank her Coffee.

"It's about 11:40," Twilight replied, resulting in Yona spitting her Coffee back into her mug.

"Sugar Honey Ice Tea!" Spike cried out "Where gonna be late!" Spike jumped off Yona and landed on the table, putting his cup down, Yona set her's on the table and picked Spike back up before turning to the front door of the castle and heading out.

"See you later Twilight," Spike called back before they were out the door. Twilight sat in silence as she used her magic to close the door.

"Now," She said as she got up "Investigation time,"

The Anti-Wedding Planers

Yona and Spike speed through the town, Upon making it to sweet Apple acres they found Granny Smith standing out front waiting for them.

"Well, it's about time," The Old mare said as she turned away from the road "Yall are 10 minutes late,"

"We overslept," Spike replied with a shrug from his perch on Yona's shoulder "Or we stayed up too late?"

"We did both," Yona decided as they made their way down the dirt road. Granny stopped at the door of the barn and leaned against it.

"You two head on inside, I'm the lookout, just in case Twilight or somepony similar to her comes a looking for ya," Yona and Spike opened the Barn door and a dozen sets of hands pulled them inside before slamming the door, Yona and Spike looked around as the group gave them room, Among them, they spotted the Young 6, The Cutie Mark Crusaders with Gabby included, Fluttershy and her Bear friend Harry, and a few other creatures mixed in.

"Say hello," Applejack said as she broke from the group and waved around "To Your Anti-Wedding Planers," The two were immediately surrounded and broken up, Spike being carried off by the CMC and Yona being taken away by the rest of the Young 6,"

"Oh Spike," Fluttershy said as the CMC Put him down "I'm so sorry, I was happy to hear you were getting married, but when Applejack said it was a forced marriage," Fluttershy gave a swoon before pointing to her bear friend. "Harry here was forced into an arranged marriage, ended up losing everything to that no good-" Fluttershy was cut off as Harry patted her shoulder and she gave a cough. "-I'm sorry, I don't like arranged marriages,"

"Well on the bright side," Spike said pointing to Yona "If we fail to stop this I don't think Yona's gonna take everything I own, though I doubt either of us will be happy with it,"

"Dude," Scootaloo said patting him on the back "How did you even get into this situation?"

"Well, I got one of Rarity's Gossip mags and-" as Spike began explaining to the CMC and Fluttershy how it had gone done Yona was being consoled by the Young 6, though her friends seemed to be arguing about how to do just that.

"It wasn't Spike's fault," Smolder said in an exasperated tone "Honestly if he hadn't said the word marriage we'd probably all still be stuck in that room with our leaders yelling at each other,"

"But he was the one he said it," Sandbar replied "I'm just saying, we just need to replace Yona with a Female Yak that-"

"Let me guess," Gallus said giving Sandbar the stink eye "With a Female Yak we don't know so we don't feel bad about it?"

"Ok so my plan isn't that good," Sandbar said "but come on, Why should Yona have to deal with this when it was Spike's fault,"

"Maybe we could just hide Spike in the Changling Hive," Ocellus suggested "Thorax would love to have him, think he enjoys Spike a little too much if you get my meaning,"

"Ya, I think everyone's noticed that," Galus replied.

"Yona what do you think? Sandbar asked turning to her "This is Spike's fault isn't it?" before she could respond to that there was a loud tapping and the residents of the bar turned the wall opposite the door and saw Applejack banging a gavel.

"Alright Everypony, we'll have time for ideal chit chat later, as you all know Yona and Spike are about to be forced into a commitment that should only be done for love, not to help save two stubborn creatures their own pride, Now before we really get started I would like to thank each and every one of you for coming, none of you had to do this, but please remember the Pinkie Promise you all made to not mention this meeting or any other of it's kind outside of this barn," Applejack banged her Gavel and called out. "Now, we need ideas on how to disrupt the wedding, and try and be creative, we're working against quite a few Princesses," At once there was an outburst of Ideas from the crowd.

"One at a time," Applejack cried out, banging the Gavel and waiting for the shouting to stop, "Alright if you have an idea raise your hoof, claw, or other such appendages in the air," In one motion almost every creature in the barn did just that, even Harry the Bear had his paw raised. Applejack looked around for a second before picking at Random. "Ok, um, Sandbar what have you got?"

"Well, this was Spike's fault right?" That was met with some mixed feelings from the crowd, "So I'm just thinking, it's only fair he goes and asks for a different Yak to be wed to him, one who's ok with it,"

"And what would we tell Cadance or any other pony not in this barn?" There was a moment of silence before Sandbar flattened his ears and sat down.

"Ok raise 'em up!" Applejack called out, she looked around for a second before sighing "I'll never be able to live myself if I don't find this out, Bear what is your idea?" The Bear gave a few growls then looked down at Fluttershy, who cleared her throat and translated.

"Harry thinks that we should bring a few Parasprits to the wedding," there was a murmur from the crown and Applejack banged her Gavel.

"Show of appendages, who agrees with Harry the bear?" After a second the mass majority of the Barn raised in agreement, "Alright, Harry you and Fluttershy form a group and gather some Parasprits close to the wedding date, We've got an inside pony who will help you smuggle them to the wedding, and Make sure you bring the instrument requirements so we don't leave the Crystal empire with a Parasprit problem," Applejack banged her Gavel one more "Alright who else has an idea?"

The Anti-Wedding Planner meeting was winding down slowly, with groups only being permitted to leave every few minutes to avoid suspicion. The only ones left, save for Applejack, was the Young 6 along with Spike.

"I mean if you really think about it, it was kind of your fault," Silverstream said as she scratched her chin "Though I guess by that logic if you think about it too much it's more Ember and Rutherford's fault, but still,"

"So," Sandbar said awkwardly "You still on for next Saturday?"

"Of course," Yona said earning a smile from Sandbar before adding "But Spike will have to come to,"

"What?" Sandbar and Spike asked in unison.

"No offense," Smolder said patting Spike on the back "But your betrothed going to Dinner with only one of her guy friends alone might look a tad fishy,"

"But their friends," Spike shot back "It's not a date,"

"True," Yona said earning a frown from Sandbar "But better safe than sorry," There was a knock on the Bar door and the group went silent before two more rapid succession knocks followed it.

"Bucking good?" Applejack called out.

"Eeyup," Big Mac replied through the door.

"Alright, Spike and Yona it's your turn to leave, The rest of you can leave when Bigmac gets back," Yona picked Spike up like he was nothing and placed him on her shoulder, the two waved before heading out the door, a few seconds after it was closed Gallus and Smolder started chuckling.

"You thought it was a date," he said turning to Sandbar who turned his back to him.

"Shut up," He snapped back "And no I was hoping it would turn into one,"

"Fat chance with Spike tagging along," Smolder replied with a chuckle.

This Just Got A lot More Entertaining

Yona and Spike were sitting next to one another as they tried to enjoy their late breakfast, Though the combined efforts of Cadance, and Shining Armor were making it rather hard to do so, the additions of Flurry Heart and Twilight made it practically impossible.

"So you two haven't...done it?" Shining asked awkwardly as he tried to avoid using the explicit word with Flurry in the room, Spike sipped on his coffee before setting it down and turning to his brother.

"Yeah," He confirmed before turning to his Pancakes and partaking in them.

"Wow," Shinning said scratching his chin "That's some serious resolve,"

"Oh honey hush," Cadance said as she and Twilight looked at the list they had swapped from Spike's room. "oh I didn't even think of the Dragon dress code," She said as she pulled out her Wedding Planner's journal and began jotting down what was on the list, "Rarity will try to make everything fashionable by her standards-" as Cadance began muttering about the task of finding a none-Rarity fashionista to work with the dragons Shining went to Spike's side.

"Have you at least seen her goods?" He asked earning an odd look from Spike.

"No?" He replied, "Why?" Shining gasped and instantly stuck his hoof in his mouth before looking to make sure no one else in the room had heard him.

"Spike, are you sure you're ready to commit to a relationship level of this magnitude with so little...experience with your partner?" Spike looked to Shining and saw the most serious expression he'd ever seen on his elder brother's face.

"um?" Spike replied Shining squinted at him before backing away and moving to Cadance.

"I feel like I just pushed a button that's gonna ruin our day," Spike said just loud enough for Yona to hear before returning to his food.

"Of course you did," Yona replied with a shrug as she picked up her mug "Yona just worries about what will happen when she pushes the wrong button," She started drinking and Spike chuckled

"Oh I'm not looking forward to that," he replied before chugging his mug of joe. As the two were talking Shining slid over to Cadance.

"Something wrong?" She asked when he got close enough.

"I just asked Spike a few questions about himself and Yona,"

"And?" She asked looking over at him inquisitive.

"They haven't done anything intimate together," Cadance looked at Shining for a moment before placing her quill down and shutting her book.

"So," Cadance asked looking at Yona and Spike. "How long have you two been dating?" luckily for the duo they had already crafted a fake backstory for just such an occasion.

"Not too long after the School of Friendship opened," Spike replied before biting into his toast.

"Yona was helping Applejack clean up and Spike came in cause Fluttershy needed Applejack for something regarding a bear and he took her place, and after a few hours of cleaning up and talking we decided to meet the next day for lunch, then we met again, and again-" Yona rolled her hand and Spike finished the story up.

"And we never really stopped," Spike said as he looked at his empty mug and just managed to frown at it when Yona slid him hers and he happily polished it off.

"So," Cadance said with a smile "Is there a reason you two haven't really...gotten to know each other?" She winked at them before Spike and Yona even had to try and think of a response to that Twilight coughed.

"Because I'll be having none of that in this castle," She said with a nod.

"Oh," Shining said with raised ears "Yeah I hadn't considered that, I suppose a 9-foot tall Yak isn't the stealthiest creature, even if their partner is a 4-foot dragon,"

"Hey," Spike snapped back "4 foot 7 thank you very much, and that's without my tail,"

"Hm," Cadance hummed to herself as she looked between the two in silence.

"Oh I do not like that look," Spike said as he saw a glint in Cadance's eye he had never seen before.

"Yona agrees," She said as she got to her feet picked Spike up, and made to place him on her shoulder only for him to be enveloped in Twilight's magic.

"I wanna know what's up with you and carrying him around like he's a parrot," Twilight said as she set Spike on the ground, Standing next to her Spike looked so much smaller than he usually did and Twilight only just managed not to laugh at how comical the two looked next to each other. "Never mind," She amended through a chortle as she picked him up and placed him on Yona's shoulder. "It'd be impossible to have a conversation with him without cracking up,"

"Alright," Yona said as she began moving towards the door "We're done with our breakfast, figure we might go out and do...stuff," Yona tried to head to the door only for Cadance to teleport in front of it and stop the yak in her tracks.

"So I take it you two have nothing planned for the day?" She asked. The two tried to think up something before looking at each other in defeat and sighing.

"Not really no," Spike replied.

"Great," Cadance said as she opened the front door "You can come with me and Shining to the Empire, we need you two to help with a few things, check out the throne room, get a feel for the place, maybe spend the night?" Something about the way she said 'spend the night' made the two shiver.

"We don't have to spend the night," Spike replied with a polite smile "We...um..." Spike looked to Yona who sighed and said simply.

"Also have nothing planned for tomorrow," Spike sighed in defeat.

"Give us a few minutes to pack up and-"

"No need," Cadance replied happily "Rarity already sent up quite a few clothes that you two need to try on anyway, including some very soft Pajama for the two of you,"

"Yay," They said in unison as they followed Cadance out of the Castle.

"Shining," Twilight said suspiciously as her Brother made to follow with Flurry in his hands. "You and Cadance aren't taking them to the empire simply so I can't stop them from-" Twilight looked down at Flurry for a brief moment before continuing "-doing it are you?"

"Don't be silly Twily," Shining replied with a chuckle "That's just a bonus, we really do need to have them check out where they're gonna get married,"

"They are way too young to be to participate in such...acts," Shining gave Twilight a 'really' face before calling out.

"Hey Yona," Hearing her name Yona turned to him "How old are you?"

"Yona is 19," She replied simply "Why you ask?"

"Just checking something," he said smugly before looking to Twilight and adding "Last I checked Spike was 18, making them both just the right age to be old enough to participate in such acts," Twilight tried and failed to argue with her brother and ended up just turning away from him.

"Well he's too young as long as he's under my roof," She snapped back, having been asked to babysit Flurry she took her niece and left the room.

"Good thing he'll be under mine then," Shining replied to the empty room before rushing after his wife, brother, and soon to be Sister in law.

Yona and Spike looked around Cadence and Shining Armor's Crystal train.

"Well this is...nice," Yona said as she looked at the guards sitting in silence on the rows of comfy seats, each with a table in front of them, Spike looked around the place.

"So we'll just take a seat and-"

"Oh don't be silly, we have a special 'seat' for you two,"

'I was afraid of that," he muttered as he and Yona were led to a different train car, once inside they found a medium-sized common room with a hall leading to 8 other rooms.

"The first one on the left," Cadance said patting Yona on the back "You two try not to have too much fun," She smiled then added in a quieter voice "But do try to have some fun," Yona made her way to the room and frowned at the size of the door, Spike jumped off her shoulder and made his way into the room, inside he found a chair and desk, a large bed, and a mirror on the wall.

"Cozy," Spike said before turning to Yona as she tried to duck in "Horns first," Spike called as they stuck on the door frame, Yona pulled back and put one of her horns inside the room, and slowly squeezed into the room, once inside the two realized that Yona alone took up a quarter of the room.

"Looks like Yona will be laying in the bed this trip," She said with a sigh as she moved around the desk and chair and sat on the bed, it was just a little too short for her so her feet hung over the edge.

"You know looking at you now," Spike said as he shut the door "I hope I stay tiny for a long, long time," Spike made his way to the desk and hoped into the chair, Spike looked at the empty desk for a moment before sighing. "I see the only entertainment is each other," He said with a sigh before getting off the chair and going to the edge of the bed. "May I?" he asked politely, Yona easily picked him up and put him next to her belly Spike yawned and curled up into a ball.

"This is a good blanket," He declared as Yona got under the covers, She began moving the Pillows and after a moment counted a total of 5.

"Wanna Pillow house?" She asked the small dragon.

"Sure," Spike replied without looking back at her, Yona took her Pillow Pile and began the task of trying to box Spike inside, after a moment the only part of Spike still in view was his tail. "Real estate," Spike sang out from inside it before there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Yona called out, after a moment Cadance made her way into the room and gave a quick look around.

"Where's Spike?"

"Real estate," Spike repeated from the pillows to catch Cadence's attention, upon seeing the little fort the alicorn started laughing.

"I see the two of you have your own way of having fun," She laughed as the fort came crashing down and Spike uncurled himself. "Just wanted to make sure you two were good before the train takes off, it'll be 4 and a half hours to the empire and I'll be spending the trip rescheduling all the appointments I had this and next month," Spike and Yona looked at each other for a moment.

"I don't suppose you could get us a few more Pillows?" Yona asked earning a smile from Cadance.

"Honey I can get you and Spike all the Pillows, and if you two get hungry or thirsty there's a mini-fridge in the common room," Cadance lit her horn and proceeded to empty the 7 other rooms of their Pillows and Blankets, providing the two with a huge pile at the end of their bed. "You two have fun in your own special way," She said before leaving and closing the door. Spike and Yona looked at each other, then the pile, and smiled.

"This just got a lot more entertaining," they cheered as Spike jumped off the bed, and Yona stripped it of its building material, Spike took the Chair and rolled it out the door and down the hall, upon finding the mini-fridge he swiped some of the drinks and snacks from it before rolling the chair back. upon returning he found Yona had taken the Mattress of the Bed frame and put it on the floor. Spike rolled the chair into the room and closed the door with his tail before making his way to his friend.

"So what you thinkin'?" he asked as he looked at the pile.

"I think I should pick it all up, and just drop it on top of us," Yona declared as she got to her hooves and picked up as much of it as she could.

"Oh, wait before you do that," Spike called back as he rushed over to her and tugged a Blanket free, once he had his prize he placed it on the Mattress and tucked it into the side before sitting on it and raising his arms. "Bury me," he declared, Yona laughed and got on top of the mattress before dropping it on him and sitting next to the pile, She waited for a second before his muffled voice cried out. "REAL ESTATE!" with a laugh she began digging into the pile and burning herself at the same time, after a minute of searching she found a green spine and pulled Spike's head above the pile. He took a deep breath and cried out in childlike joy "Bury me again!" Yona laughed.

"Oh no, it's Yona's turn to be buried," She replied as she began gathering up the Blankets and Pillows into a Tower to topple onto herself, as the two played in their blanket tsunami Cadance smiled from outside the hall, having cast an invisibility charm on herself so as to not be noticed when Spike had left to get the drinks.

"Nice to see they're having fun," She said before teleporting away to go take care of her schedule.

Author's Note

I had fun with this.

We're not cute

Shining Armor made his way into the train car housing Spike and Yona and shivered at the temperature difference, the rest of the train was kept at room temperature, but this car had been set to a noticeably colder one, not to the extreme, but enough to notice instantly. He made his way through the common area and found nothing too exciting, save two chairs stacked on top of one other next to the thermostat, most likely the work of Spike so he could turn the temperature down. He made his way to the room that held the only two occupants of the train car and knocked, after a second of no response he tried again, on his third attempt he tests the door handle and found it unlocked. he opened it and peeked inside.

At first glance, the room was empty with a huge pile of blankets and pillows in its center, but it didn't take Long for Shining to spot Yona's horn peaking over the pile from the side facing away from the door, He lifted his ears and heard the sound of soft breathing, having confirmed the two were sleeping he back up into the hall, silently closed the door and sighed. Then he started beating the shit out of the door.

"HEY, YOU TWO DECENT!?" He screamed out, Neither Spike or Yona reacted to much to his banging past waking up.

"Up," Yona called back as she made to get into a sitting position, before noticing the warm foreign object locked in her grasp, Yona looked down and found Spike firmly pressed into her chest, she instantly let him go and held her hands up, Spike fell onto the mass of pillows and blankets and gave a yawn, giving no indication he was aware of where he had been while sleeping.

"I'm up," Spike cried, he clung to the pillow he had landed on as Shining continued his onslaught on the door, Both Yona and Spike cried out as loudly as they could.

"WE'RE UP!" The banging stopped and Shining called back sweetly.

"Decent?"

"Yes," Spike snapped back as he got into a sitting position and turned to Yona, who was staring at him in silence "What?" Spike questioned as he patted his face in confusion "I'm not covered in drool am I?"

"No," Yona replied, looking away from him and to Shining entering the room.

"So," he asked looking back and forth between the two "You two do anything fun?"

"We made a Pillow fort," Spike replied as Yona got to her hooves and freed herself from the pile. "Then it started getting hot so I changed the temperature, then I started getting cozy, then I fell asleep and I'm assuming Yona did the same," Shining looked between the two for a moment before nodding.

"Well as long as you both had fun," he turned to the doorway before adding "We'll be arriving at the empire in about 15 minutes, so you might wanna clean this up, or at the very least separate the pillows and blankets to make it easier on the cleaning crew," Shining left, closing the door behind him.

"Alright," Spike said as he got off the mattress and picked up one of the pillows "Yona can you put the mattress back on the bed? I'll put the pillows and blankets back into the other rooms. Yona gave no response as she set to work and Spike didn't wait for one as he made his way to the door and opened it up.

The train was starting to slow down as it reached the Crystal empire, Spike and Yona were sitting in the Common room area, Yona was drinking from a water bottle while Spike enjoyed a caned Mango Lemon tea, once again sitting upon her shoulder.

"Does that taste good?" Yona questioned as Spike chugged some of his tea.

"I honestly don't know," Spike replied after swallowing the liquid in his mouth "It doesn't taste bad, but it has an odd after taste," Yona looked at the can for a moment before squinting back at Spike.

"Can I try it?"

"Sure," Spike replied as he wobbly went from sitting to standing on her shoulder, resulting in him having to hold onto one of her horns to try and prevent the tea from spilling. Yona opened her mouth and Spike waterfalled some of her drink into his mouth, he had just stopped pouring when he and Yona heard a chuckle, the two looked over and found Cadance holding a hand to her mouth as she smiled at them.

"You two are just so cute," Yona swallowed her drink and got to her hooves, accidentally knocking Spike off Balance, Spike slid to the side and Yona rushed to his aid, Catching him in mid-air, Spike only just avoided losing his drink, Before they could move they heard a new chuckle and found Shining copying his wife.

"We're not cute," They snapped at the duo.

"Yona is might Yak, not cute Yak," She said as she gingerly put the small dragon on her shoulder.

"And just cause I'm small doesn't mean I'm not fierce," Spike added before taking a sip of his tea and sticking his tongue out. "Such an odd after taste,"

"Yep," Yona agreed "Though the before taste was really good,"

"Right?" Spike asked as he shook the can. Cadance and Shining both smiled at one another before approaching the duo.

"So you two ready to head to the castle and future site of your wedding?"

"Ready as one can be," Spike replied with a shrug as he polished off his drink and made to get off Yona, who instantly snatched him out of the air.

"Sorry," Yona said with a guilty smile as she put him onto the floor, "Thought you fell off again," Spike waved her off and made his way to the Minifridge to get a Mango Lemon tea for the road.

"It's sweet of you to carry him around," Cadance said with a smile "Even if it's only to be efficient, but you might want to let him walk on his own from here, the crystal ponies love him and they'd probably topple even you in their attempts to praise him,"

"Impressive," Yona said as she watched the Crystal ponies swarm Spike like Ants to food. "Are they gonna do this everything any of them see him?" Cadance laughed at the question.

"You sound concerned," She said with a grin "Well don't you worry, once word gets around he's here you won't have to worry about him being swarmed and you'll be able to walk with him perched back on your shoulder again in no time," Yona had no reply to the statement and thus gave Cadance just that as she turned and watched Spike sign autographs, after a few minutes Spike managed to shoo off the last of his admirers the group continued on their way, getting stopped three more times before reaching the castle. Just as they got to the large centerpiece of the empire Spike was picked up by Yona unexpectedly.

"Whoa!" Spike yelped out "Maybe a little warning next time?" he asked as he was placed back onto Yona's shoulder.

"Sorry," She apologized "But we're moving at a snail's pace and Yona is growing tired of having to stop because Crystal ponies can't mind their own business," She Gave Spike an odd look before darting her eyes to Shining and Cadance and back to him after a second Spike blinked and said in an offended tone.

"They're not rude, just interested in what I have to say,"

"Well maybe you should tell them your busy," the two watched as Shining and Cadance pulled ahead of them due to it sounding like the two were about to start bickering, once they were far enough away Yona whispered to Spike "Should we try and throw something into the gears? or would that be pointless due to how much time they have to fix it?"

"We could try," Spike replied softy "but if you have a really good idea we should hold off on it till we're in the end game," As the two began whispering back and forth Cadance looked back at them with a smile.

"Gotta give it to them," She said to Shining "If they're fighting, there doing one hell of a job not making a scene,"

"And if they're not," Shining said in agreement "Then they did one hell of a job making us piss off so they could talk in private," The two kept their distance from the two and made their way to the Castle doors, the on-duty guards gave the royal couple a salute and stood wide eyes as Yona and Spike followed after, having stopped whispering to avoid one of the guards hearing, the two Guards watched them go inside and once the doors where closed began whispering to each other before snapping into position just before Shining's head darted out of the door and gave the two suspicious looks before sliding back into the castle.

"So," Cadance said as she looked at the time "It's a little late, so what say we wait till tomorrow to give you the tour of your wedding venue?" She asked politely "If you don't mind that is?"

"Yona is down for whatever," she said simply.

"I've already seen the place," Spike replied with a shrug "So I'm not missing much,"

"Great," Cadance said with a smile that made them both turn to the other with a look of worry "In that case, I'll show you two to your room," She lit her horn and in a flash, the duo were standing in a very lovely room with Cadance. "This is your bed," She said pointing to said amenity of the room before turning to a door "That's your Bathroom, there's a minifridge, and most importantly of all," Cadance lit her horn and before the two was summoned a mountain of Blankets, sheets, and pillows, followed by the room getting noticeably colder, Cadance smiled at the looks on their faces and lit her horn "See you in the morning," She said sweetly before teleporting away.

"Yona," Spike said in a very serious tone as he looked at the pile, "I think Cadance is trying to distract us," there was a moment of silence as the two took in the pile before Spike added "I just wish It wasn't working so well," as soon as he finished talking Yona ran at full speed and plowed into the pile, after a moment her head poked threw the top and Spike could be heard laughing from within the pile, Yona dug through it for a few moments before finding and retrieving him. Once she had him back in her grasp she set him onto the floor and picked up as much of the pile as she could and raised it over him and herself.

"Real estate," She said deviously before dropping it and burying herself and Spike in it. After a moment she made a small pocket and found Spike trapped beneath the mass of the pile, laughing at the situation. She smiled at him for a moment before retrieving him and crawling to freedom, once free She sat Spike back down at the foot of the bed before she began piling blankets on top of it, once she felt she had enough she got behind the pile and slowly began pushing it off the bed and onto Spike, who was standing with his arms out. as they were doing this Cadance and Shining watched from the partially opened doorway.

"This is adorable," Shining whispered to his wife as Spike was buried and Yona waited on the bed to see if he would free himself.

"I know," She replied as Spike popped out laughing and Yona retrieved him before placing him neatly on top of the pile and picking it up, she stumbled for a second before tossing it and Spike back to the rest of the pile. She then ran to the other side and rammed into it before digging her way inside of the pile. As the two played with the mass of blankets and pillows Cadance and Shining pulled out of the room to leave the two to their fun.

Author's Note

I really love playing in giant piles of Blankets and Pillows. It's just a blast.

You Can't make Us.

Spike and Yona sat silently as they waited for their time to strike, the clock was slowly ticking down as the moment drew near.

"You ready?" Spike asked in a soft tone as Yona held him up gingerly.

"Yona promises to be gentle," She whispered back as their faces touched, the air was cold as they waited for their moment, The two were silent as they waited, the moment they had both yearned for drawing ever closer by the second.

Suddenly with a loud dinging sound, the clock in their room stuck Midnight and Yona jumped into action and proceeded to slam dunk Spike into the massive pile of bed coverings before them.

"And go!" Yona cried out, Spike having been forcibly shoved to the bottom of the pile, Yona looked away and pumped her arms as she watched time tick down, every second feeling like an eternity.

"Ten seconds," Yona called out as Spike attempted to Burrow to the top of the pile "Fifteen," She added, the clock inched towards twenty when Spike cried out loudly.

"Time!" He screamed.

"Seventeen Seconds," Yona cried out "New Record," The Two cheered like crazy for a moment when the door to their room where slammed open.

"Who cheered for Seventeen seconds?" Shining laughed from the hall.

"What are you two doing!?" Cadance demanded, eyeing them furiously.

"Seeing how long it takes Spike to free himself from Pile," Yona replied simply as Spike gave a thumbs up before being lost to the pile.

"I'm never sleeping on a plain old mattress again," Spike's muffled voice called from the pile.

"Wow," Shining said as he poked his head in "You two really like blankets,"

"Yak Country is cold," Yona said simply.

"Dragons like it hot," Spike added.

"Blankets are the perfect medium for bonding," Yona concurred "We can keep the room cold and stay warm with a blanket pile while we discuss...things,"

"Hm, I remember when I and Cadance use to stay up and discuss things," Shining laughed "Of course now we spend most of our time doing those things instead of talking about them," Yona and Spike looked at Shining for a moment while Cadance waved for him to go back into the hall.

"I think he's talking about..." Yona leaned in and muttered in Spike's ear.

"Oh no," Spike laughed as he covered his face "Yona I did not need an image of Cadance doing that to him in my head,"

"Wait," Shining attempted to return "I feel the need to clarify things,"

"It's too late," Yona said shaking her head.

"we're already tainted with ideas," Spike confirmed,

"Noooo!" Shining cried out before being dragged away by his own guard, once his cries of defense disappeared they turned their attention back to Cadance.

"Alright," She said "Not to be a buzz kill but It's midnight, and we have a lot of things to do tomorrow, Rarity sent me some basic ideas for Yona's wedding dress and veil, Spike has a few different Tux, shirt, tie combos to try, Were also gonna be talking flower, who's being invited, and we have to decide on a flavor for the wedding cake, rings need to be selected, we'll need to do a practice dinner, oh and you'll need to recite your vows, and of course, you'll need to pick out a honeymoon location to consummate the marriage," Spike and Yona stared at Cadance for a very long second before slowly turning to one another with dumbfounded expressions.

"What did she just say?" Yona asked

"I have no idea," Spike responded, Cadance just let out an exasperated sigh before shaking her head.

"We have a lot of prep work to do and not a lot of time," She clarified "Now get some rest I only have you for a day and a half before I have to send you back to Ponyville because Twilight insisted I return you two as quickly as possible," Cadance left the room and after a few minutes of making sure she was really gone Spike and Yona were attempting to make a detailed list of what they needed to achieve in the next few days.

"Dress and Tux," Spike muttered as he sat on Yona's shoulder "Nothing much we can do there, Rarity will just remake 'em before the wedding gonna have to do something with them last second, Twilight already did a thing with the rings, so we just need to pick a bad cake and write terrible vows,"

"Amazing idea," Yona declared before leaning in closer to Spike "What exactly is a vow?"

"Oh you know," Spike laughed before blinking "I have no idea actually, I think they like a promise you make to your spouse?" Yona and Spike looked at one another for a moment.

"Messing up the vows might be the easiest part of all of this," Spike decided as he crumbled up the paper and tossed it into the trash bin. "Now my dear Yona, let's stay up far too late and mess everything up, dunk me!" Yona grabbed Spike, he curled up like a ball and she slammed him into the blanket pile with a laugh.

Yona and Spike were sleeping on the Blanket Pile, with Yona snugging Spike like he was a teddy bear, Spike was pinned to her chest and was dangerously close to being shoved down her shirt.

"So how does this work?" Shining wondered as he and Cadance looked at the two. "Spike has to be on top obviously but..."

"Shining," Cadance cut in "Obviously he uses the tongue," She said with a casual laugh "You've seen that thing, it's like 12 feet long, makes up for any other size 'problems' now help me get them up," Cadance and Shining pulled and shoved on Yona with little result, Attempting to grab Spike resulted in him being grabbed harder by Yona after a moment Yona became conscious something was trying to take whatever she was holding and Spike became aware that he was being held in place.

"Hu?" They bother asked as Yona stood up and Spike looked around.

"Good your up," Cadance cheered "Come on now, time for wedding prep,"

"We don't wanna get up," They complained in synchronized exhaustion "You can't make us," Yona flopped back down and Cadance proceeded to force her to her feet with magic, with Shining stealing Spike and shaking him for a moment.

"Come on," Cadence said as she dragged Yona and Spike was forced to walk "Breakfast then it's time for some outfittings,"

"I hate weddings," Spike yawned in irritaition.

"It was your idea," Yona muttered back.

Author's Note

Shout out to Little Tigress for the next Cover-art

It's not what your think

Spike and Yona groggily ate their breakfast while Shining continued staring at them from afar, obviously still questioning how the two were going to get past their differences in size when it came time to be intimate.

"Ok, you say he'll use his tongue," he said to Cadance in a low voice "But that can't be enough to build the foundations of a relationship right?"

"Shinning you're thinking too much about the physical side and not the emotional side,"

"Oh please I'm not blind Cadance, they are adorable together, but that doesn't change the fact that emotions can only take you so far, a lack of physical attraction could tear a relationship apart given enough time, I just don't want this to go over poorly for Spike,"

Cadance smiled, Shining had lived his life thus far under the idea that his two siblings would remain single till the day he died, and upon finding out Spike was getting married had gone full overprotective brother, despite her having asked them to come, Shining had been the one to toss out the idea, wanting to get the opportunity to properly size up his bothers betrothed. It was obvious to her that he was latching onto this one perceived flaw he had found in their relationship because he was paranoid the small crack was covering up a canyon.

"You two seem sleepy," Cadance noticed as Shining inwardly freated about Spike's future. Spike and Yona chose the path of the sage and kept their mouths busy chewing so as to avoid answering any questions. "You two get down and dirty?"

"No," They both answered at once, Cadance didn't give any outward response, She was the princess of Love, and as the Princess of Love she was getting an odd feeling from the two, and she was fairly certain she had pinned it down to two options.

Either Spike and Yona had bottled themselves up so much that they were now having trouble getting past the first hurdle to intimacy, or they were both Asexual and hadn't quite pinned that fact down themselves yet, leading to the awkwardness of trying to fulfill an obligation that neither of them actually had.

As the Princess of love it was her responsibility to help guide them down their path, and help them she would.

"Alright, lets get down to business, Rarity apparently suffered a delay in the dress and tuxes, so we'll have to push that back to another date, so instead we'll be looking at flower arrangements, she mentioned it'll be easier to doll you two up if you have a theme picked out.

"Yak's have traditional flowers used at weddings," Yona noted with a somewhat concerned look on her face.

"Well, that solves that, I suppose, if Spike doesn't have any complaints, we can-"

"But..." Yona cut in with a grown "...the flowers are called Dragon Sneeze flowers," Spike shivered at the name.

"Me, Ember, and several dozen dragons in a room with Dragon Sneeze flowers forget the wedding that would cause the empire to burn down,"

"It's Crystal," Yona noted.

"Metaphorically," Spike amended "Less the Empire and more the citizens would burn down, I guess," Spike scratched his chin, "I dunno, I probably could have worded it better,"

"Yona gets the point," She noted "How about blue flowers,"

"And just like that, we're done," Spike declared, "Blue flowers picked and ready,"

"Great, we have a basic color down. Now, what kind of blue flower are you looking for, and what specific shades of blue?"

"She got us again," Yona noted.

"Yeah," Spike agreed as he tried to rack his mind for the name of a blue flower of any sort. Having failed to name a flower, Yona and Spike were forced to concede to Cadance and were quickly whisked away to view the empire's selection of blue flowers.

"You shouldn't have named them," Spike whispered to Yona as they walked "Dragon Sneeze flowers would have destroyed the ceremony,"

"Yona wasn't sure how to dance around the name," she replied with a sigh "Suppose we're even on fumbling now,"

"Eh," Spike shrugged, figuring he had caused more roadblocks and jinxes than Yona "We'll just avoid keeping score,"

"So, what flowers should we get?"

"I doubt any of the dragons will care, so just go for one you think Yaks will find an eyesore,"

"Blue flowers are a sign of infidelity," Yona noted with a smile "Sending a Yak Blue flowers usually insinuates your planing to seduce their spouse or offspring as a direct insult to you,"

"What a beautiful culture," Spike noted as a few Crystal ponies failed to approach due to a menacing glare from Yona.

"Very beautiful," Yona agreed, "Yona will teach you; perhaps we will find more exploits if we take a more thorough look,"

"I do enjoy some history," Spike noted, "Far more than I enjoy picking out flowers at least, though maybe not quite as much as I enjoy a good blankety avalanche,"

"Is cheating to compare blanket avalanches to anything," Yona countered as they arrived at the Empire's Greenhouse.

Spike and Yona both felt dead inside as they inspected the umpteenth presentation of Blue flowers. Cadance was working with the ponies of the Greenhouse to find the couple their ideal flower arrangements, but she and just about everyone involved could tell the couple found none of the flowers special.

"Alright, let's take a break," Cadance decided with a clap, "I'll leave you two to ruminate on the flowers while I ask the staff about other options; we have until noon tomorrow, though I'd prefer we finish up with flowers, cake, and rings before you go back to ponyville," Cadance wished them both luck before shooing out the staff and following after them.

"This is a trap," Yona noted immediately.

"Oh yeah," Spike agreed, "She's watching and or listening somehow, somewhere...or maybe Shining is?" Spike solidified his footing on Yona's shoulder by holding onto one of her horns and looking around to try and spot the spy.

"Should we...be romantic?" Yona sounded sick at the question, but Spike had to agree with the thought; if they failed to Pass Cadance's pre-wedding test, it was likely she'd blab to Twilight, and the Dragon Yak war would be back on with Twilight acting as a third party to cause more problems.

"You have awesome horns?" Spike asked.

"That's not romantic; that's just a fact," Yona shot back, "It's like me saying you're conveniently sized for shoulder storage,"

"We'll I hope you don't grow tired of that; if we do get married and have to have Yak Dragon babies, I'll remain this size until our grand things are born,"

"Don't be ridiculous," Yona spat back, "Yak and Dragon can't breed, we'd adopt,"

"Alright, but I want it to be a Griffin; my kid's teen years should be a proper menace on society,"

"Deal," Yona agreed, "But back to Romance, should we...hug?"

"Not to be rude, but you might smother me,"

"Name a better way to die than drowning in cleavage," Yona demanded.

"There isn't one," Spike declared, "But that's not romance. That's probably a fetish...maybe?"

"It's not a fetish," Yona decided without hesitation, "It's just natural, any man who has a love for a woman would happily lay down their life just for a chance to drown in cleavage,"

"Me being dead won't solve things," Spike noted firmly, "I mean I'd get off scot-free, but what about the next dragon, this may come as a shock but Dragonesses don't have boobs, they have shiny chest scales, so despite your decree most Dragons don't care much for boobs,"

"But you do?" Yona asked curiously before pressing up on her chest a little "Rate mine," She demanded firmly, her tone telling Spike she was dead serious.

"Nine out of Ten," he decided after a moment's thought.

"Nine?" Yona questioned, her tone dangerous.

"Oh Please, anyone who says ten out of ten is just trying to butter you up, if you saw my wang and it was the best one you'd ever seen, you'd still only rate it nine at best because ten is saved only for your imagination, a dream of impossible proportions," Spike looked down at her, "Am I wrong?"

"I dunno," Yona scratched her chin, "I'd have to see it first,"

"Mine is an example not the required start," Spike shot back, "I'm tiny, so all my stuff is tiny,"

"What is the average size for a Dragon of your height?"

"How would I know that?" Spike's tone was defensive as he turned his back, still taking care to hold onto her horn to avoid slipping off her shoulder, "Dragons aren't known for their expert record-keeping skills so I'd have to measure it with another Dragon, and that's not ever happening,"

Yona looked at Spike for a very long moment before he looked back at her suspiciously, "No," He added for the sake of safety, Yona's response told him his guess at what she had been about to ask was right on the money.

"I'm gonna have to see it when we get married, Yak tradition requires at least five hours of full body skin-on-skin contact a week after the wedding, You can already see mine are perfect, Yona just wants to make sure she's not being cheated,"

"Well, I'm not stripping in the middle of a greenhouse,"

"No one will see," Yona promised, "And if they do see who cares, they'll just pretend they didn't after I threaten them to keep their mouths shut,"

"What if Cadance and or Shining are Spying on us?" Spike demanded, "What then I just look like a perv and you get off scot-free?"

"Fine, If Yona takes her shirts off you take your pants off," Yona's logic was about as flawless as a Yak's logic could get, Cadance was just making her way back when Spike gave his response.

"We are not stopping in the middle of a Greenhouse," He snapped back, "We have a perfectly fine room,"

"Yona can't give a rating if she doesn't have a metric to go off of," She shot back firmly.

"Don't care, just wait an hour or two," Before Yona could reply they heard a sound and both looked over at Cadance, who had the combined look of trying not to laugh, pride, and maybe feeling just a bit awkward at the situation.

There was a solid moment of silence before both Spike and Yona panicly called out to her as she started laughing at their red faces, "It's not what you think!"

Author's Note

Thinks quickly escalated.