Chapters “So, what do y’all think Rarity’ll say about mah idea?” Applejack asked as she and Fluttershy trotted down the path to Carousel Boutique.
“Well, it’s not that I think it’s a bad idea, necessarily, not at all. In fact, dresses that are simpler and more durable sounds like something I might be interested in too,” Fluttershy replied. “It’s just…”
“Just what?” Applejack asked.
“I’m just not so sure about us making suggestions to Rarity about fashion. I mean, you remember what happened when we tried telling Rarity what to do for our Gala dresses, don’t you?” Fluttershy said.
“Don’t worry, Ah ain’t tryin’ to do anythin’ like that again. It’s just ever since Rarity had me judge that fashion show of hers Ah’ve been thinkin’ how a lot of those fashion designer-types don’t really seem to get regular ponyfolk like mahself. So, Ah figured Rarity might wanna try her hoof at designin’ fer ponies who’d want somethin’ more practical than fancy. Y’know, to expand her market and stuff.”
“I guess there wouldn’t really be anything wrong with that,” Fluttershy conceded as the pair reached Rarity’s boutique. Stepping inside, the pair found the boutique to be apparently empty, which wasn’t all that odd by itself. Rarity often set aside large blocks of time to either work on new designs or meet one on one with particularly special clients, and indeed voices could be heard coming from upstairs. “It sounds like Rarity’s already with somepony, maybe we should come back later,” Fluttershy said.
“Y’all might be right. Then again, Ah think Ah’ll just have a listen to see if its anypony we know. If Rarity’s got Twilight or Pinkie Pie up there then Ah doubt they’d mind if we poke our heads in too, but if it sounds like she’s got a customer in there then we won’t bother ‘em.”
Finding that she couldn’t think of a good argument against Applejack’s plan, Fluttershy followed her friend to the boutique’s upstairs, where Rarity kept her work/living space. As the pair climbed the stairs, however, the voices coming from Rarity’s bedroom grew increasingly louder and, more concerningly, it sounded as though Rarity was having a rather heated argument.
“I’ve told you before and I will say it once more; Absolutely not!” Rarity said.
“Look, I get why you’d be a little anxious about this, but I’m willing to offer you some serious bits here,” a rough, male voice replied. “We’re both business ponies here, it’d be a real shame if we couldn’t make an arrangement.”
“I don’t care how many bits you’re offering; I won’t be party to something like what you’re describing,” Rarity replied firmly. “My reputation is far more valuable to me than anything you could possibly offer.”
“You say that, but you and I both know your past isn’t nearly as squeaky clean as you like to make it out to be.”
“And what, precisely, do you mean by that?” Rarity asked, an unmistakable edge creeping into her voice.
“Full disclosure, I used to work with Eight Millimeter back in the day, and he told me all sorts of fun stories. Thanks to that, I happen to know how you got the bits to pay for this here dress shop of yours…”
“Get out!” Rarity snarled, the raw anger in her voice catching Applejack and Fluttershy off guard.
“Okay, I get it. Listen, I’m just gonna leave my business card here, and if you change your mind –”
“Get! Out!”
“Alright, alright, I’m leaving already.” Moments later a scruffy-looking stallion in a brown suit jacket hurried out of Rarity’s bedroom and rushed past Applejack and Fluttershy without a word. Once the stallion was out of sight, Applejack cautiously peered into Rarity’s room and saw her friend furiously tearing a business card into confetti.
“Of all the slimy, underhoofed reprobates to walk into my boutique,” Rarity fumed before firing a small beam of magic from her horn to incinerate the card fragments.
“Uh, Rarity, is this a bad time?” Applejack hesitantly asked, causing Rarity to nearly leap into the air in surprise.
“Applejack! What are you doing – how much of that did you overhear?” Rarity asked.
“Well, it sounded like y’all were turnin’ down some sort of business offer from a pony who sounded about as trustworthy as Flim and Flam,” Applejack replied.
“I see, well that’s more or less an accurate assessment,” Rarity said, visibly relaxing at Applejack’s response. “If anything that…stallion might be even less reputable than those swindlers.”
“That’s a might low bar to slither under, but Ah’ll take yer word fer it. There was one thing Ah didn’t quite understand, though. What was he talkin’ about when he said he knew how y’all got the bits to open yer store?” The moment the words left Applejack’s mouth Rarity tensed up once again.
“If you don’t mind, that’s not really a topic that I’d prefer to discuss. Let it suffice to say that, some years ago, I engaged in a few bits of work that I’m not altogether proud to be associated with, and that’s all that I intend to say on the subject. Now then, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”
*********
“- and after that we talked a bit about mah normal-pony clothes idea and that was pretty much it,” Applejack said as she finished relaying the odd encounter to the rest of her friends. “Rarity seemed to like mah idea well enough, but if Ah’m bein’ honest it kinda felt like she had somethin’ else on her mind the whole time.”
“Whatever it was, it probably had something to do with that stallion she was talking with,” Starlight concluded. “I have to admit, this whole situation has made me kind of curious, how did Rarity manage to open her boutique, anyway? It couldn’t have been cheap to get a place like that set up.”
“Beats me,” Rainbow Dash replied. “Rarity already had that place open by the time me and Fluttershy moved here from Cloudsdale.”
“And she had already had her grand opening a few months before I moved in with the Cakes,” Pinkie Pie added.
“Ah guess Ah’m the only one here who was actually livin’ here in Ponyville when Rarity opened her place up. Now, Ah wouldn’t say Rarity and Ah were all that close or nothin’ back then, but up until this mornin’ if y’all’d asked me how Rarity got the bits fer her store Ah’d have guessed honest hard work. Course, if that were the case then Ah doubt Rarity would’ve said she wasn’t proud of it. That mare may not be much fer getting’ her hooves dirty if she can avoid it, but she’s never been the type to look down on hard work neither.”
“Well, maybe it was something embarrassing, like doing magic shows at foal’s birthday parties,” Twilight suggested, earning herself a few stares from her friends.
“That’s an awfully specific guess, Twilight,” Starlight said, causing Twilight to look uncomfortable and shrink back into her seat.
“When I was still living in Canterlot I found a book dealer who had a first edition copy of Starswirl’s Treatise on the Three Tribes and I may have done a few parties as ‘Sparkles the Magic Clown’ to get the bits to afford it. Trixie is to never hear a word of that, by the way,” Twilight added firmly as Rainbow Dash fell out of her chair laughing.
“What’s so bad about that? Birthday clowning is a noble profession and I’m proud to have a friend who was a part of it,” Pinkie Pie said.
“Ah think we might be gettin’ a mite off topic here,” Applejack added. “And besides, the feelin’ Ah got was that whatever it was Rarity did went a bit beyond embarrassin’. Ah mean, y’all should have heard the way Rarity blew up when that stallion brought whatever it was up. She sounded about ready to buck his durn skull in.”
“Also, I’m pretty sure you’d have a hard time making enough bits to open a store like Carousel Boutique by performing at birthday parties,” Starlight added.
“I dunno, depends by what you mean by performing,” Rainbow Dash said with a snicker.
“What do you mean by that?” Pinkie Pie asked
“Ah bet Ah can guess, and Ah’m gonna put a lid on that line of talk right now. Seriously, RD, can’t y’all keep yer mind out of the gutter fer once when we have a talk like this?” Applejack said.
“Hey, you’ve at least gotta admit that doing something like that would explain how Rarity got the bits and why she doesn’t want to talk about it,” Rainbow Dash retorted.
“Okay, so I’m still a little confused, what exactly is Rainbow Dash suggesting?” Starlight asked.
“I’m saying maybe Rarity was shaking her rump for stallions at private parties,” Rainbow Dash said, causing Applejack to bury her face in her hooves. “Or maybe Rarity was going even further, like she was a high-class escort or something. Or porn, maybe she did a porno and that’s how she got the money –”
“Oh for Celestia’s sake!” Twilight cried out. “Rainbow Dash, do you honestly think that Rarity, or all ponies, would have actually allowed herself to be filmed in a porn, of all things?”
“Okay, maybe it is a little farfetched –”
“A little?” The rest of Rainbow Dash’s friends called out in unison, minus Fluttershy who was too busy trying to disappear behind her own mane to comment.
“But you have to admit it does fit weirdly well. That could have paid Rarity a ton of bits and would definitely be something Rarity wouldn’t want to talk about in a million years,” Rainbow Dash said defensively.
Applejack let out a sigh of exasperation. “Alright, fine, Ah’ll give y’all that. Rarity havin’ done some ruttin’ on camera would explain the way she was actin’. But, y’all have to admit that that would be about as likely an explanation as her havin’ gotten the bits workin’ with Doctor Caba-what’s-his-name sellin’ stolen artifacts or somethin’.”
“I guess you’re right, and honestly Rarity having a secret past as one of Doctor Caballeron’s allies sounds way cooler that my porn idea,” Rainbow Dash conceded.
“Well, now that that’s settled maybe we should just drop the subject entirely for the time being,” Twilight said. “Whatever Rarity went through in order to open her store, there’s no way it could have something that ridiculous.”
Twilight let out a long sigh as she trotted out of Canterlot Castle. Normally, Twilight would have simply teleported back to Ponyville after one of her meetings with Princess Celestia. But, after three hours of being given an excruciatingly detailed explanation of Equestria’s bureaucracy Twilight needed a few minutes to clear her head. “Maybe I should go by Pony Joe’s and see if Moon Dancer or any of the other’s are there. Although, I did have a big breakfast and it would feel a little awkward if I went there and didn’t order anything. I guess I could always take a walk through the city park, or…” Twilight broke into a smile as she was struck by a sudden idea. “I haven’t visited Reprint’s used bookstore in I can’t even remember how long. A nice little detour there is just what I need to relax before I head home.”
Her mind made up, Twilight cheerfully trotted through the streets of Canterlot following a long-memorized route. The simply named Reprint’s Books and Quills wasn’t as trendy or as large as some of the other bookstores in Canterlot, and its location bordered on the seediest part of the city. In Twilight’s eyes, however, no other store could compare with its character, let alone its selection of obscure and out of print works.
As Twilight trotted down the street, prepping a mental list of the sections of the store she planned on perusing, an unexpected sight caused her to stop dead in her tracks. Nervously trotting down the street was non other than Rarity, dressed in a trench coat and concealing her mane under a floral printed handkerchief. Twilight nearly called out to her friend, but stopped at the last second as the strangeness of the situation nagged at her. Why was Rarity dressed as though she didn’t want anypony to notice her and sneaking through the streets of Canterlot towards a section of the city that Twilight’s parents had warned her against when she was a filly. Adding to Twilight’s disquiet was the notion that this situation was somehow related to the encounter Applejack and Fluttershy had told her about several days ago. While part of Twilight’s brain told her she either shouldn’t pry, or at least she should talk to Rarity directly, her curiosity and concern for her friend pushed her to a different course of action.
When Flurry Heart was born, Twilight had been faced with the very real prospect of being asked to foalsit an infant with the power to, among many other things, teleport. In preparation for this possibility, Twilight had spent a great deal of time mastering a great number of tracking spells, one of which she promptly cast on Rarity before ducking into a nearby alleyway. Not trusting her own stealth skills, Twilight waited a minute or so to allow Rarity to put some distance between them before stepping back into the street and activating the spell. In moments, a faint, shimmering string appeared in midair that only Twilight could see and which would lead her directly to her friend.
As Twilight followed Rarity’s trail, she noticed a district change in the character of the surrounding neighborhood. The streets and buildings seemed increasingly weathered, even run down, and the trendy restaurants and shops appeared to have given way to nondescript businesses, most of which had little in the way of signage. The few ponies out in the streets seemed to want to avoid so much as making eye contact with anypony else, occasionally knocking on a door or slipping down an alley and then vanishing from sight. As Twilight silently wondered what sort of place she had wandered into, she found that her spell was leading her towards one door in particular, a small sign to the side labeling it ‘Hidden Desire’s Maison de Plaisir’.
Silently wondering if perhaps it would have been more practical if she had studied Prench instead of Old Ponish, Twilight walked up to the door and knocked on it. Moments later a small hatch in the door at roughly eye level slid open as a gruff voice answered Twilight’s knock. “Can I help…Princess Twilight?” Moments later the door opened to reveal a massive stallion gesturing for Twilight to come inside. “Your highness, it’s an honor to have you here. My name is Velvet Rope, the head of security for the establishment. I’m presuming you’re here to see Miss Hidden Desire about a consultation?”
“Um, yes, I think?” Twilight said as she quickly made her way inside, finding herself in a small waiting room seemingly covered in red velvet. While Twilight had no clue what sort of place this was, she did know that Rarity had gone inside which meant that in order to find her she needed to follow.
Thankfully, Twilight’s obvious nervousness didn’t seem to surprise Velvet Rope in the slightest. “I’m guessing this is your first time at an establishment like ours. Well, don’t worry, you’re in excellent hooves here and Hidden Desire has a very strict policy about maintaining her customer’s anonymity so you won’t need to worry about any sort of gossip. Now, that said, since this is your first time here, I will need to emphasize that our rules about anonymity work both ways, so you’re not to divulge anything about anypony you might see in here. Is that clear?” Twilight nodded in affirmation, which seemed to satisfy Velvet Rope. “Excellent. Now, Hidden Desire is already speaking with another client at the moment, but I’ll let her know that you’re here. In the meantime, feel free to look around and see if anything catches your interest.” With that, Velvet Rope gestured towards a set of curtains in the back.
Suppressing her concerns, Twilight pushed her way past the curtains, stepping into what looked at first glance to be an almost disappointingly ordinary-looking shop. Rows of shelves stocked with merchandise filled the room, with various ponies perusing the offerings. Aside from the fact that most of the customers seemed to be making a conscious effort to avoid looking directly at anypony else there wasn’t much that Twilight saw that would have been out of place at a store in Ponyville. At least until Twilight turned to her left. There, assembled neatly as could be, was an entire wall covered in lifelike, intricately detailed phalluses of every size, shape and color Twilight could have imagined.
Up until that point, Twilight’s familiarity with that portion of the male anatomy was largely restricted to textbooks (and one brief experiment involving a scrying spell and the Royal Guard’s shower room). Now, however, Twilight found herself facing a veritable cornucopia of male genitalia facsimiles, and she needed a good half-minute for her mind to catch up with reality. “This is a sex shop,” Twilight finally thought as she looked back around the store. While Twilight could only guess at the function of many of the store’s wares, the giant wall of marital aides didn’t leave much room for doubt. “Alright, Twilight, calm down, remember why you’re here. For some reason, which I’m sure is entirely reasonable, your friend Rarity came in here. You just need to find her and make sure everything is alright, and then you can leave and put this entire experience in your behind. I mean behind you!” Despite feeling as though she were about to catch fire from embarrassment, Twilight managed to refocus her mind on her spell, finding that it led towards a set of doors in the back of the store. Trying to remain as calm as possible, Twilight slowly worked her way down the aisles towards her goal. Occasionally, Twilight would pause to examine one of the items for sale, both to help obfuscate her intentions and because she couldn’t stop herself from wondering what it was and how it would be used.
Finally, Twilight was able to reach her goal without anypony seeming to notice her, or at the very least nopony gave any indication of having done so. With one final glance around to be certain nopony was watching, Twilight slipped inside and found herself in a hallway lined with several doors. Taking a moment to confirm which way she needed to go, Twilight carefully made her way towards the doors at the very end of the hall, until the wails of a familiar voice caught her attention.
“I’d always worried my past might catch up with me someday, but to have somepony walk right into my boutique…” Twilight could hear Rarity sniffling through the door.
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am about all this, Rarity,” another female voice Twilight didn’t recognize said. “I tried to keep him from going to Ponyville, but unfortunately he just wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
“It’s not your fault, Hidden,” Rarity replied. “In the end, if anypony’s to blame for my being in this situation it’s myself. Nopony forced me to get involved with that business, and I could have walked away the moment I found out what sort of production it was, as if the name shouldn’t have been a dead giveaway. But it was the quickest way to earn the bits I needed and so I willingly…prostituted myself…” Overcome with emotion, Rarity’s voice trailed off to a mere whimper before she was able to bring herself to continue. “What truly frightens me is what word of this could do to my reputation as a designer. If word gets out about all of this I could be ruined.”
“I’d have thought you’d be more worried about what your friends might think,” the other mare said.
“Darling,” Rarity replied, sounding a bit calmer. “As shocked and scandalized as my friends might be to find out I was involved in something called High Class Harlots , I’m sure they’d…well, I suppose understand might be a bit of stretch but I’m certain they’d accept it at least. Unfortunately, the fashion world isn’t quite as forgiving.”
Twilight, meanwhile, reeled in shock at what she had just overheard. Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, Twilight closed her eyes and focused her magic before disappearing in a flash of light as she teleported back to Ponyville. This was a situation that was going to require all of her friend’s assistance.
“Ah just can’t believe it,” Applejack said as Twilight finished relaying what she had heard. “Of all the ponies Ah know to have done somethin’ like that…y’ think y’ know somepony.”
“I just wanna know who the hay this ‘Hidden Desire’ pony is and why Rarity went to talk to her and not us?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Well, fer one thing, this seems like a mighty touchy subject fer Rarity, and y’all ain’t exactly the most mature pony there is when it comes to this sort of thing,” Applejack said.
“Hey, I can be plenty mature about this stuff when its important,” Rainbow Dash retorted.
“Says the pony who spent ten minutes laughin’ her behind off when Twilight mentioned the wall of peckers,” Applejack said. For the next several seconds, Rainbow Dash desperately strained to keep a straight face at this, only to inevitably fail and collapse into a fit of helpless giggling.
“Look, I realize that what Twilight overheard sounds really, really bad, but maybe we’re all jumping to conclusions just a little bit quickly?” Starlight Glimmer said. “I mean, we don’t really know the details as to what Rarity was actually talking about. Maybe it really was something that was just embarrassing and not, you know, actual porn.”
“Starlight, Rarity said she prostituted herself in something called High Class Harlots , there aren’t too many ways to interpret that!” Twilight said.
“One, I once knew an artist pony who said she ‘prostituted herself’ by painting some really cheesy portrait on commission for some rich noblepony, so maybe Rarity was talking about something like that and not…the other thing,” Starlight countered. “Two, how do you know for sure that High Class Harlots is actually a porn and not, I don’t know, a play with a really off-color title?”
“Some off-Bridleway shows really do have titles like that,” Fluttershy added, eager to leap upon any theory that didn’t involve her friend secretly being a pornstar.
“Okay, I can see your point that there may be an alternate explanation and that we shouldn’t jump to conclusions. But, if that’s the case then how do we figure out the truth of the matter, it’s not like we can just go up to Rarity and ask her,” Twilight said before turning to look meaningfully at Appejack. “Can we?”
Applejack thought for a moment before letting out a deep sigh. “Ah get that normally Ah’d be the one suggestin’ we just talk to Rarity straight off, but in this case even Ah don’t think it’d do any good. There just ain’t no way in Tartarus that Rarity’d ever admit to…doin’ what we think she might’ve been doin’, even if it meant lyin’ to our faces about it. And heck, Ah couldn’t even blame her if she did, Ah don’t even think Ah’d admit to somethin’ like that if Ah thought Ah could avoid it.”
“Well, I think our first step would be to confirm what exactly High Class Harlots is,” Starlight said. “Once we’ve done that we can go from there to figure out just how Rarity was involved with it, and after that…well, I guess we can cross that bridge when we come to it. Twilight, you should focus on the play idea, look up independent plays that were running around the time Rarity opened her boutique.”
“Right, and what about you?” Twilight asked.
“I’m going to try and look into whether it really was a porn. I’m really hoping that isn’t the case, but we can’t ignore the possibility either,” Starlight said.
“Ah don’t mean to pry or nothin’, but just how the hay do y’all plan on figurin’ that out, anyway?” Applejack asked.
Starlight grimaced at the question. “I think I might know somecreature who could help.”
*********
“You wanted to see me, Counselor Starlight?” Gallus said as he poked his head into Starlight’s office.
“Gallus, great, come in. There’s something that I need to talk to you about,” Starlight said trying to keep her voice as cheerful and nonthreatening at possible as she magically closed the door behind Gallus.
“Look, if this is about the goo powder in the fountain, I already told Headmare Twilight that I turned in all of that stuff to Professor Pinkie Pie after the Hearth’s Warming Eve thing,” Gallus quickly said.
“What? No, this doesn’t have anything to do with that,” Starlight replied. “Though this may involve certain disciplinary measures. You see, somepony, or somecreature, has been smuggling pornography into the school and selling it to the students for some time now,” Starlight said as she levitated a folder several inches thick onto her desk. “And not just run-of-the-mill smut either, some of the confiscated publications have been rather…exotic. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as yak porn.”
“Neither did I, but Sandbar’s a friend of mine, so I’m not gonna judge him,” Gallus said reflexively before a look of panic flashed across his face. “I mean –”
“Gallus, I already knew it was you, several of the students who had material confiscated from them confessed to buying it from you. And for what it’s worth, I didn’t call you in here for punishment,” Starlight added.
“You didn’t?” Gallus asked with a mixture of relief and confusion.
“No, honestly I don’t really think this sort of thing by itself is really worth getting into discipline over. You’re at the age where this sort of interest is natural, and to be frank we’ve been talking about adding sexual education classes to the curriculum for a while now.” Granted, part of the reason such classes had yet to be instituted was that none of the current faculty members were willing to teach them, but Starlight elected to leave that detail out. “The reason I called you in today is that I’ve recently encountered a somewhat unusual friendship problem and I think your expertise might be helpful in solving it.”
“Wait, are you saying that there are friendship problems that you can solve with porn?” Gallus asked incredulously. “Why the heck don’t they ever teach the really interesting stuff in class?”
“Like I said, it’s a rather unusual problem. In any event, before we begin, I need you to promise me that nothing that we discuss will leave this office,” Starlight said. “It’s absolutely crucial that this is kept strictly confidential.”
“Yeah, I promise. I’ll even do the think Professor Pinkie does,” Gallus said before clearing his throat. “Let’s see, I think it goes ‘cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye’. There, satisfied?”
“I am, though I’d be careful about making too many Pinkie Promises,” Starlight cautioned. “Pinkie Pie takes those things really seriously, and she can tell if somecreature’s broken one. We have no idea how she knows, but somehow she just does.”
“Do you guys really have any idea how Professor Pinkie does anything?” Gallus asked.
“Fair point. Anyway, back to the matter at hoof, I’m trying to look into something and I’m not even entirely sure if its porn or not, right now I just have a title to go by. Have you ever heard of something called High Class Harlots ?”
Gallus raised an eyebrow at his counselor’s question. “Sorry, but that’s not one that I’ve ever heard of, but then again I don’t really get involved with stag reels. You know, movies,” Gallus clarified, seeing Starlight’s confused expression. “There isn’t any demand for them around here, since you’d need to get a projector and find someplace private to watch it.”
“I understand that, but if you’ve never heard of it then how do you know that it’s a movie and not something else?” Starlight asked.
“The name’s a dead giveaway,” Gallus replied. “With a title like that it would either be a movie or a magazine, and if it were a magazine then I’d have definitely heard of it. I can think of at least a half-dozen guys who’d be all over something like that.”
“That’s really more than I needed to know,” Starlight said. “So, do you have any idea how I’d find out more about it then?”
“Yeah, actually I do. What you’re gonna want to do is talk to my supplier,
“Well, I wasn’t able to find anything,” Twilight said glumly. It had been several days since she and her friends had decided to try and discover the truth behind whatever High Class Harlots actually was. Her friends had once again all gathered at her castle to discuss the results of their efforts, minus three. Rarity was absent, for obvious reasons, Spike had been sent to Canterlot on ‘Official Royal Business’ that would keep him out of Ponyville until the following morning, and Starlight had yet to return from a following a lead in Las Pegasus. “I must’ve gone back ten years before Rarity opened her boutique, and I couldn’t find single play by that name.”
“So, do you think that that means…?” Rainbow Dash started to ask.
“It’s a porn.” Everypony present turned to see a somewhat dejected Starlight Glimmer walk into the room, levitating a film canister in front of her, which she deposited onto the table the others were seated at. “I found a pony in Las Pegasus who was able to sell me a copy. So, now what do we do?”
“Well, since we have the thing, maybe we should watch it,” Rainbow Dash suggested hesitantly.
“Are y’all serious, RD? Y’all really want us to watch a movie that may well have one of our friends ruttin’ in it?” Applejack yelled.
“Hey, we don’t know that for sure, and watching it’s the only way to find out the truth. I mean, wasn’t that the whole point of finding it in the first place?” Rainbow Dash said.
Applejack spent several seconds glaring at Rainbow Dash in response until finally taking her hat off and throwing it down onto the table as she let out a growl of frustration. “Dagnabbit, Ah really to admit it, but y’all’ve got a point there. We’ve gone this far already, we may as well find out the whole truth.”
“Do we really have to?” Fluttershy asked. “I mean, however Rarity was actually involved in this she really didn’t seem like she wanted anypony to know about it. Maybe we should just get rid of this…thing and then try and forget all about this mess.”
“Ah hear what yer sayin’, Fluttershy, and part of me agrees with y’all. It’s just, Ah don’t know if Ah can even look Rarity in the eye without knowin’ the truth of the matter, and this here’s the only way that’s ever gonna happen,” Applejack said.
“I’m sorry, Fluttershy, but I think I’m going have to agree with Rainbow Dash and Applejack,” Twilight said. “And not just because I can’t stand to let a mystery like this go unsolved. Whatever went on between Rarity and this movie could be causing trouble for our friend, and if we want to be able to help her then we need to fully understand the situation.”
“I understand,” Fluttershy said. “Pinkie, what do you –” Fluttershy stopped as she saw Pinkie Pie already in the middle of setting up the projector with six bowls of popcorn already prepared. “Nevermind.”
“Alright, before we get this whole mess started, Ah think we should set down a couple of rules,” Applejack said. “First off, Ah think we should fast forward through the smutty bits as best as we can.”
“Spoilsport,” Rainbow Dash said.
“We ain’t watchin’ this to get off, Rainbow. We’re doin’ this to help understand how much trouble our friend may have gotten herself in. Speakin’ of, mah second rule is that if Rarity comes onscreen and it looks like she’s about to…get herself in a compromisin’ position, then we shut everythin’ off right then and there. We can put two and two together without needin’ to see our friend like that, that alright with everypony?” As a chorus of affirmations followed, Applejack nodded to Pinkie Pie to start the film. “Well, let’s get this over with.”
The six friends spent the following hour or so watching ponies in elaborately gaudy period costumes make painfully forced attempts at reciting dialogue before eagerly mounting each other. “Yeesh, I realize what we’re watching, but this acting is terrible,” Starlight Glimmer said as Lord Fifth Leg awkwardly recited some innuendo-laden poetry to Lady Winkerton.
“Y’all ain’t kiddin’. Ah’ve seen more convincin’ actin’ in Apple Bloom’s class plays. Ah mean, Ah get they saved all their real effort fer – and she’s got his face goin’ under her skirt. Alright Pinkie, start fast fowardin’,” Applejack said, any moral indignation at the display before her having given way to boredom. “Anypony else startin’ to feel like we might’ve been barkin’ up the wrong tree here? We must be getting’ near the end of this thing and Ah haven’t seen anypony that even might look like Rarity. Not that Ah’m complainin’ that mah friend ain’t in a porn or nothin’, just –”
“We know what you mean,” Twilight assured her. “I’ve been wondering about that myself, actually. It’s possible we might have been wrong and this wasn’t what Rarity was referring to after all.”
“Well then what the hay was it, then?” Rainbow Dash asked. “I mean, we tried seeing if it was a play or something and that wasn’t it. Now it doesn’t look like this was it either, so I’m all out of ideas and we still can’t really ask Rarity about any of this.”
“Ask me about what, darling?” Everypony present immediately turned their heads in panicked unison as Rarity stepped through the door. “Oh my, I was just looking for Twilight, I didn’t realize you all were here, what’s the occaAHHHHHHHHHHH!” Rarity froze completely in her tracks the moment her eyes landed on the projector screen before letting out a horrified scream.
“Rarity, there’s a mostly reasonable explanation for this,” Starlight quickly said as Pinkie fumbled with the projector in an effort to turn it off.
“Yeah, we, uh, have a porn night thing that we do when Spike’s out of town,” Rainbow Dash added. “We’d have invited you, but we were all pretty sure you wouldn’t be interested.”
“There’s no use in trying to make something up, Rainbow Dash,” Rarity said as she struggled to regain her composure. “I can plainly tell what’s going on. I don’t know how you all found out about my disgusting secret, but there’s clearly no point in hiding it any longer.”
“Uh, Rarity, what are you talking about?” Rainbow Dash asked. “I mean, yeah, we might’ve thought you were –”
“Part of this horrid display? I can’t deny it. Just look,” Rarity said as she took control of the projector and stopped it on an image of a mare being spit roasted by a pair of stallions. “There I am right all over the screen!”
Twilight and the others (sans Fluttershy, who was burying her face in her forelegs in embarrassment) looked at the image in utter confusion. “Rarity, that can’t possibly be you,” Twilight finally said.
“It’s kind of you to say, but as awful as it is for me to admit, I’m afraid that it is,” Rarity said.
“Rarity, have y’all spit yer bit or something? That there’s a pegasus,” Applejack said.
“And I designed the dress she’s wearing!” Rarity wailed in despair.
Several seconds ticked by as Rarity’s friends silently absorbed her sudden confession, until Rainbow Dash finally broke the silence. “Wait, that’s your big horrible secret? You made some costumes for a porn?”
“Well, have you seen them?” Rarity countered. “I mean, just look at that thing, it’s nothing but a confused mishmash of design elements, a grotesque caricature of fashion! It’s not that I didn’t want to do something tasteful, mind you. I spend days researching the fashions of the time period for my first set of designs. But, the director, Eight Millimeter, had his own vision for what he wanted and I, barely even an up-and-coming designer at the time, had no choice but to degrade myself for the sake of my future business.”
“So, let me make sure I have this straight,” Starlight said as she tried to wrap her head around the situation. “You designed a bunch of costumes for a porno when you were starting out to pay for your first store, and the reason you’re ashamed about it is that they weren’t your best work?”
“Those abominations weren’t merely ‘not my best work’,” Rarity snapped. “I daresay the dresses I made for that production were the most detestable garments I ever created, including the Gala dresses you girls had me create.”
“Wait, what Gala dresses?” Starlight asked.
“Trust me, sugar cube, y’all are happier not knowin’,” Applejack said before turning back to Rarity. “Anyhow, Ah, can kind of see where y’all are comin’ from, ain’t much worse than work that y’all can’t be proud of. Ah guess we’re all just a little surprised that that’s the part yer ashamed of and not, well, the thing they were used in.”
“Well, that bit wasn’t exactly something I could advertise, naturally, but it wasn’t as though I was, ahem, on camera,” Rarity said. “Actually, if I’m to be perfectly honest, if I had been able to use my original designs than the overall experience would have been quite enjoyable. Aside from the director everypony was quite pleasant to work with, and I even met a good friend of mine there named Hidden Desire. She runs an, how shall I put this, ‘adult boutique’ in Canterlot and had supplied the production with some of their more exotic props.”
“I guess that just goes to show that friendships can be made even in the worst situations,” Twilight said.
“Quite true,” Rarity agreed. “And thanks to her and a few other friends I made on set the next time I took commission work like it was a much more pleasant experience.”
“You see, friendship can always – wait, WHAT?” Twilight said.
“I far more comfortable with putting my hoof down when it came to presenting work I could be proud of the next time I was called upon to provide costume designs for an adult production,” Rarity said. “Of course, it also certainly helped I had most of the funding I needed to open Carousel Boutique at that point, though the extra income certainly helped.”
“Just hold on one durn second here. Are y’all sayin’ that this wasn’t the only time y’all made dresses fer a porn?” Applejack asked incredulously.
“Oh, I’ve done costumes for scads of them, darling. It’s been a rather surprisingly reliable source of extra income over the years, what with most of the costumes not surviving the production for…various reasons. I use a pseudonym for the credits, of course; Costumes by ‘Burning Passion’.” Rarity let out a small giggle. “Hidden Desire helped me pick that one out. I also use it for a line of intimate apparel that I sell through her boutique, mostly it’s an outlet for ideas I come up with when I’m feeling amorous.”
“Hold on, if you’re fine with making costumes for pornos, then what was the big deal with the pony Applejack and Fluttershy heard you arguing with?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Oh, him,” Rarity said with a note of distaste. “He was looking to produce some gaudy assault on the notion of good taste. I adore rhinestones as much as anypony, but there are certain things which should not be adorned with them.”
As the conversation regarding Rarity’s apparent alternate source of revenue continued, Twilight stood back and made a mental note; Spike was never to learn of any of this.