Chapters my FrEnds go 2 sugarcubE cornEr
Author's Note
Huge apologies to all the moderators who have to read this. I am proving to the world that writing like this is unacceptable. I myself found it torture to write.
To all those who have had stories failed,
If you're wondering why your story has been failed, check out this blog post by ChappedPenguinLips. I actually investigated this, and found it really helpful. There are also many people on this site who are willing to proofread other people's work.
my FrEnds go 2 sugarcubE cornEr
1 day, twilight sparkel and sunset shimma had a argument becoz they both wanted to go out with flash sentry i hate you twilight said sunset well i hate you too screamed twilight she ran off crying pinkie pie and rarity and fluttershy and apple jack and i found out and i said we have to make them make up and be friends again because theyre our friends fulttershy said yes we have to help them applejack said well this is going to be hard because they ar so stubbon and we all decide to invighte them to sugarcube corner because its theyre fave cafe in town and they say sorry and we ate loads of donuts and drunk a whole bottle of lemonade the end
Author's Note
Don't worry, moderators and all those people who know what Standard English is! It gets better in this chapter.
F for Fail
Rainbow Dash was biting her fingernails, her eyes darting around the room. She had always had trouble in English classes, but her overall grade for the half term depended on the mark she was given for her homework. She had tried her hardest on this piece: the topic had been "Slice of Life" stories, and she had written about her friends. The story was completely made up, but she hoped that it was enough.
Mrs Cheerilee was handing out the now marked homework, and most students looked either satisfied or incredibly worried when they received their scores. She was handing out the occasional comments: both Sunset and Twilight received a, "Wonderful!" but Trixie Lulamoon's smirk was wiped when Cheerilee said that her work, "was if a far lower standard than expected." Rainbow had this almighty fear of being kept behind for a year in English. She began to imagine her parents' reactions, and a meeting with Principal Celestia.
"Rainbow Dash," Mrs Cheerilee called, distracting her from the daydream. She sighed, "This is simply not good enough," and handed her the homework. Rainbow turned the paper over. In the top left-hand corner was a red circled F. F for Fail. She gulped. Below, in her teacher's impossibly neat handwriting, were the words, "See me after the lesson."
When the lesson was over, Trixie stayed behind with Rainbow. Mrs Cheerilee gave them both a stern look.
"Girls," she began to berate them, "this is hardly good enough. I try, time and time again, to stop the likes of you to from failing your exams, but at this rate, you are both going to fail. Without proper qualifications, you cannot do your dream jobs when you are older, or any jobs for that matter. For that reason, you are both having extra English lessons after school next half term, until your work is of a high enough standard. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Miss Cheerilee," they both mumbled.
"I said, do you understand?"
"Yes, Miss Cheerilee," they said a bit louder.
"Good. I will be calling your parents to notify them. Now leave, I want my lunch break." The teacher walked out of the classroom. Trixie flounced out behind her. Rainbow was left standing there in silence, shocked at how badly she had done.
Rainbow's parents were not impressed. She was grounded for a week, but thankfully, her prison sentence was over by the time the holidays had begun. Her friends were horrified at what had happened to her, and were all rallying round.
"You know, we're here for you," Twilight told her, placing a hand on her chest, "I could come along to these extra classes and help with any extra homework you're given."
"Thanks," she muttered, giving Twilight a sad smile. This was a big deal for her. She had always managed to get away with her limited writing skills, but had never failed. Mrs Cheerilee was strict.
"Cheer up, Dash!" Pinkie shouted. The girl with the curly pink hair and ability to make anyone laugh was halfway up a pine tree. How Pinkie managed to get up there was anyone's guess.
"I suppose I should," she grumbled. Somehow, she was resisting all of her friends' efforts to lighten up and enjoy the holidays. No amount of visits to Sugarcube Corner or riding mountain bikes in the woods or playing sports at the park were helping. She was just depressed because of her scores.
It was the first intervention lesson. Rainbow was nothing short of terrified. Fortunately, she was not alone: Trixie was scowling at the wall, and Twilight was sat next to Rainbow, here to convince her that passing English tests was not impossible.
"So," Mrs Cheerilee told them as she walked into the classroom, "I guess we should start our first intervention lesson with the simple rules." She sat at one of the student desks, in between Twilight and Trixie. "We might as well go back to basics. Using capital letters, full stops, commas and speech marks will make you work so much better." She turned to Twilight. "I assume that you are just here to help Rainbow Dash, Miss Sparkle?"
"Yes, Miss," came Twilight's reply.
"Good, because you are one of my best students this year." Twilight glowed. Jealousy twisted in Rainbow's gut. She would never be as good as Twilight in academic subjects, and it was hard to have a career in sports unless you managed to get into the Olympic sports team or something similar.
Rainbow and Trixie were each given a piece of writing without any structural devices. So those are paragraphs, longer and shorter sentences, and punctuation, thought Rainbow Dash. She was breaking up the difficult parts into smaller chunks of information for her brain to process. Paragraphs are made of sentences, which contain all of the words, and punctuation is all those symbols around the words. She could understand those simple facts.
Soon, she had put in the missing capital letters, full stops, commas and speech marks, and drawn two diagonal lines where there needed to be new paragraphs. She had removed and replaced some words after being told by Twilight that the word "and" was used too many times. Cheerilee marked the work and told the previously worried student that she had found all of the mistakes and corrected them so that the piece was legible. Legible means that you can read it and it makes sense, she logged in her head. After reading the piece a few times, without, then with the corrections, she realised that simple things like capital letters could make her writing so much better. However, she knew that there was still a long way to go.
"Now, for the language devices," Mrs Cheerilee said after marking Trixie's work. "In other words, the words. Let's work on adjectives and nouns for now."
Adjectives describe the nouns, which are usually objects or the names of people or places, Rainbow kept reminding herself in her head while she rewrote the piece. Common nouns are objects or people in general, for example boy, person, table, door. These can be split into concrete or abstract. Concrete is solid, so they're actual objects. Abstract nouns are things that we can't touch or see. These are usually, but not always, emotions. Examples are happiness, anxiety and danger. Twilight marked the work and was surprised at how quickly Rainbow Dash was learning. She left the lesson with more knowledge, a sense of pride, and a piece of homework that she wasn't looking forward to but wasn't exactly dreading, either.
Author's Note
Writing this actually reminded me of some of the basic rules of English! It's very easy to forget these.
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A Gothic Campfire Tale (Rainbow's Writing Skills A Few Weeks Later)
The Two Spirits of Canterlot.
Centuries ago, in the semi-rural town of Canterlot, the most beautiful lady walked the land. Her name was Galaxia. She had pale white skin; long, silky hair that faded from sunset orange to dark blue; and eyes as blue as the clearest sky above the ocean. Many young men pined and withered away in the vain hope of earning her love and faith, but she loved none of them.
Her only true love was a man called Cosmos with wrinkled skin, eyes that mimicked emeralds and wild black hair. Nobody could understand how she did not love a younger, wealthier man. The truth was that she loved him because of his knowledge. He was a powerful sorcerer who could manipulate any tangible object and transform it into something of immense, breathtaking beauty. Very few knew of his secrets, save the woman who loved him. He loved her back, and would make her bouquets of flowers out of dust and thin air.
However, jealousy grew in the hearts of those other wealthier, younger men, and it was not long before one of these men spied on the couple and found out their secrets. He accused them in public of practising witchcraft and they were cruelly thrown into a dammed lake in the woods.
To save the only love of his life, Cosmos turned the water into air, and created petals to break her fall, but Galaxia already lay dead at the bottom of the now drained dam. The man who had thrown them into the dam jumped to meet Cosmos and killed him with his sword, and his lifeless body fell next to Galaxia's. They were buried by the falling petals - Cosmos's final gift for Galaxia - and over time, soil was shovelled into the pit and two blossoming trees were eventually planted over their resting place.
It is said that their spirits still walk around Canterlot, scattering petals over graves and singing with the birds to comfort the loved ones of those who have passed. The tears they shed before their untimely deaths still fall with the rain and make the flowers grow.
Rainbow's final piece of writing before the Christmas holidays was her interpretation of the local gothic story. It brought tears to Mrs Cheerilee's eyes; it had never happened before, and Rainbow Dash swelled with pride. She actually received an A for content, and a B for language and structure. For the first time in her life, she was glad to receive a notebook from her mother for Christmas.