Spike's Divine Comedy

by spike the lone wanderer

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Other, Spike, Profanity, Adventure, Violence, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Death
Length: 1695

Hell needs a new king, and Spike Drake, the most infamous human, has always wanted to wear a crown.

Satan, the black prince, has disappeared from hell, leaving an empty throne surrounded by power-hungry demons. A tournament is prepared to find the heir of darkness and finish what the former king could not accomplish, eradicate the human race once and for all.

Published 2020-06-03 17:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-06-03 17:00:01 UTC

1.And on the eight day.1

''On the first day, Faust created light and separated the light from the darkness, calling light "day" and darkness "night.
The second day, she created an expanse to separate the waters and called it "sky." The place where those holy pigeons live. ''

''On the third day, she created the dry ground and gathered the waters, calling the dry ground "land," and the gathered waters "seas." She also created vegetation the same day, Water is a common joke in hell, However, I quite enjoy the view of what Mankind call ''Flowers'' They are beautiful, so am I.''
''On the fourth day, she created the sun, moon, and the stars to give light to the earth and to govern and separate the day and the night. These would also serve as signs to mark seasons, days, and years. There are no seasons in Hell, only fire and pain...for humans only.

''On the fifth day, she created every living creature of the seas and every winged bird, blessing them to multiply and fill the waters and the sky with life. I wonder why humans like to eat something that swims in their own shit! ''
''On the sixth day, she created the animals to fill the earth. Most of the animals she created are just meat-bags waiting to be eaten by someone suffering from obesity with some hot sauce, I pity them...Almost! In addition to animals, She created Man and Woman in her own image to commune with her. She created Adam and Eve, she even blessed them and gave them every creature and the whole earth to rule over, care for, and cultivate. This poor Eve is not even the first woman created by Faust! She is only second rate behind Lilith, that dark blue-haired bitch! ''

'' And finally, on the seventh day, Faust had finished her work of creation and so she rested on the seventh day, blessing it and making it holy...Only in truth, there is a day forgiven by all! Right after the seventh day when Adam and Eve were enjoying their problem-free life and pants. High up in the sky in the kingdom of angels, a revolt took place between the holy mother of all and the bearer of light, Lucifer! Lucifer wanted to be like his mother, he wanted to be a being able to create life out of nothing with ultimate power. Lucifer was strong, but his strength was no match against Faust, for wanting to destroy both the Holy Land and the Holy Mother of all, she banished him by pushing him out the Holy Land, causing him to fall into nothingness. On the eight-day, Lucifer was banished of heaven, and once he finally touched the soil that Faust forbade to finish. He used what was left of his divine power and created his own Kingdom of fire and pain, he changed his name and became Satan, ruler of Hell!"

Hell, the ninth circle, millennia later

A thin and tall demon was walking in a dark corridor where the only source of light was the flickering flames of the candles. His outfit consisted of a long red hooded cloak almost covering his entire body, the only visible features of the demon are the pointed end of his red shoes and his twisted horns.

The demon halted in front of a tremendous black door where numerous representations of the creation of the world were engraved, silence governed in the hallway until the demon thumped on the door three times in a row. After a while, the door opened slowly, and a feeling of coldness poured out of the room. The demon penetrated the room and saw something he could only see in his wickedest nightmares, "By the holy mother of all!"

The room in which the demon penetrated is no simple room where everyone could enter at leisure. There is only one thing in this desertic room, a stone throne, which is the first creation of the one from heaven. This room is the very place where the fallen angel crashed when he fell from heaven and when he rose as a demon under the stars of a distant world. This room is where the throne of the king of hell is located. Usually, this room is loaded with such stifling heat that even the most powerful demons find it hard to bear, only now, the room is cold due to the empty throne.

The demon remained motionless in front of such strangeness, confusion lied within his thoughts, he did not know how to react to this, should he leaves the room and never returns or should he sit and have the power of ruling them all. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the buzz of a fly near the door, "Oh no you don't you damn bug!"

The demon spat out fire towards the fly, which exploded into hundreds of little flies when it was hit by the spell. The flies came out of the throne room without the demon being able to do anything to stop them.

The demon knelt before the empty throne and prayed, "Where are you, master?"

The flies flew out of the ninth circle to spread the ominous omen. The flies parted to invade the remaining circles of their incessant buzz, sticking to each corner of hell, each building, statues, while reciting the same message,

'' The throne is, '' Buzzed the flies on the mirrors of pride.

'' The throne is, '' The flies flew over the snakes of envy.

'' The throne is,'' The flies awoke the sleeping demons.

'' The throne,'' The flapping wings of flies cover the war cries of fallen warriors.

'' The throne,'' Several crooked hands tried in vain to catch the little messengers.

'' The throne,'' The flies landed and ate the abundant food right in front of Cerberus's faces.

'' The throne,'' The flies emerged from the bosoms of the many naked statues.

The rest of the flies went up to the cave of despair, a cold, rocky area. It was then that the flies gathered to form the head of their lord, a black head with white hair with several red eyes and horns,

'' THE THRONE IS EMPTY !!!'' The lord had enough time to scream his message before being crushed by a giant hand, reducing the flies to a heap of wing and blood.

"Flying nuisance!" Said the giant in the shadows. He looked at his hand covered with the remnants of flies when suddenly the sound of war horns, the sound of swords against the flesh, and the death howls of demons resonated throughout all the circles "What is this madness!"

A light from above dissipated the shadows surrounding the giant, revealing a blind bearded being wearing a gold crown and a green snake around his waist, '' Am maybe blind, yet I still can recognize the sound of heaven knocking on my door! ''
The snake straightened up, and in its eyes reflected several winged figures including one armed with a flaming sword.

Earth, more precisely in an alley.

"Come on kiddo, give us everything you have, and we won't hurt you too much," Threatened the leader of the gang of three while lighting up a cigarette.

"Don't hurt me, please, I have nothing on me." The leader grabbed the victim by the collar of his jacket with his friends behind.

"Stop fuckin'g around you bitch! Give us your money or taste my fury, you low life loser!''

The kid started to cry,'' I-i have nothing...P-please let me go!''

'' Oh look at the baby, boss!'' Mocked the bully wearing a dog necklace

''Yeah, baby bitch! Cry some more! I like it!'' Added the other bully.

The leader took his cigarette out of his mouth and blew the smoke on the boy's face,'' Time to pay, bitch!'' The leader was about to burn the right eye of the kid with his cigarette when suddenly someone kicked him in the face, causing him to fall on the ground.

''What the fuck!'' The bully doesn't have the time to react that the savior punched him in the nose, followed by a knee in the balls before getting his face smashed on the ground, breaking his nose.

''Your dead pig!'' The brute tried to hit him but the savior took the lid of a trash can, and blocked the blow with it, "FUUUUCK!!!" Subsequently, the rescuer struck him several times in the face with the lid before grabbing him by the neck and throwing him in the garbage.

''It's garbage day!'' Said the Savior. He then looked at the scared kid who wet his pants, he then pointed to the street and the boy ran away without thanking him,'' You're welcome asshole!''

''You fucking cunt!'' Insulted the leader, ''I'll kill ya!''

He pulled a switchblade out of his pocket and threatened the stranger, "I'll carve you like a pumpkin, you bitch!"

The stranger, not intimidated by the bully rushed over to him, 'It's your funeral!'

The brute tried to stab him in the face, but he dodged just in time. He took the brute by the wrist, and struck him on the brute's right elbow, fracturing it, "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

The bully fell to the ground crying, the stranger recovered the blade and noticing the cigarette still lit on the ground. He planted it in the center and started smoking it.

'' Who the fuck are you ?! '' Asked the bully.

'' Well can't you tell, baby? '' The stranger approached the brute who stuck his back to the wall with fear in his eyes, '' I'm the devil! '' Replied the stranger leaning toward the bully, revealing a grinning teenager with green hair and wearing a purple jacket.

Author's Note

Hello everybody!

This is a collaboration with my bro, HereForTheGold Skies. I will use my own version of hell in this story, but from the point of view of demons. There will be changes from the original book ''Dante divine comedy''.

Feel free to comment my story and long live Satan!