The Faculty Lot

After finishing in the classroom, Vice Principal Luna next showed her pony counterpart the cafeteria. She couldn’t help but notice the way that the visiting royal gazed at the methods that students would use in order to obtain lunch. It seemed that the Princess was entranced by the cafeteria workers, and the way that they made various foods, stuck them on plates, and then left them there for the students to gobble up at their leisure. It appeared to confuse her, because she would cock her head one way, and then another, as if attempting to decipher some kind of nonexistent code or key.

“Is something wrong, Princess?” VP Luna asked.

“Hm? Oh, no. Nothing’s wrong,” Princess Luna responded, “it’s just…I have never observed such a fantastical system for distributing massive rations of victuals in my entire life! My sister’s school back in Equestria has no such…cafeteria…but, rather, the students there are free to leave school during the lunch hours and inhabit the various eateries surrounding the institution. I am…rather intrigued by the idea that your students remain in school to eat their lunches.”

The faculty member couldn’t help but smile at the visitor’s keen vocabulary. She had never heard “going out to eat” put in such an eloquent manner, but she was quite interested to hear more. She couldn’t wait to arrive in the faculty’s parking area and hear what the new human had to say about it. She had to admit that it would be the most entertaining part of the entire experience. For the most part, the tour had been kind of humdrum, with the exception of Sunset recognizing the Princess. But now, they could hustle along to the special lot, and the Princess could finally see what she had come to the human world to see.

They walked down a long hallway and turned a corner before arriving at a locked door. “DO NOT USE: FACULTY ONLY,” read the sign that was plastered across its surface. It seemed to flash, and the giant red letters were rather intimidating. The Princess realized that, were a student to be caught using this door, then they might be in big trouble. Perhaps it is because of the unimaginable power that this place holds deep within its grasp, she thought, perhaps it is because these faculty members wish to shroud its mysteries from their student population! Dear me, the teachers here are lunatics! If they have such power…then it might be dangerous for this world!

“Well, here we are-“ VP Luna said, but stopped when the Princess would not advance. “Um…is everything okay?”

“No!” Princess Luna cried, “everything is not okay! In fact, I’d say this entire trip is ruined!”

“Ruined?” The administrator asked with deep concern, “why? Have I done something to offend you?”

“Offend? No…but you keep your students away from the most powerful spot in the entire universe!”

“What?!” VP Luna asked, “whatever are you talking about?!”

“I’m talking about your faculty lot! It is a place where deep and unrequited power lies! When Sunset Shimmer visited Equestria to learn the truth about her forgotten friendships, she made it plain that the faculty lot is full of power! Why, it is said that when you tell a young human that he or she cannot ‘park’ there, then they shall listen! It is almost impossible to get young ponies to listen, but here in the human world, all you have to do is tell the youth that they cannot ‘park’ somewhere! In my opinion, it is an egregious abuse of your power.”

“Go on…” Said the administrator, trying not to burst out in a fit of laughter.

“I mean, should not such power be shared with your pupils? All of the magic power in Equestria is shared with my sister’s! You are running a complete sham of an operation, and I intend to report you to the highest authority!”

The Vice Principal didn’t respond to the crazed Princess’s threat, but simply swiped her key card and gained access to the outside world. She opened the door and they both blinked as the sharp sunlight contrasted with the typical fluorescent hallway lights found in schools all over the country. When their eyes readjusted to the environment, they looked and saw…a parking lot. Nothing more. It was a nice lot, with freshly painted spaces and deeply black tarmac. But, all the same, it was still just a parking lot. Vice Principal Luna parked there every day, and it was currently filled up with all of the teachers’ various automobiles.

But the Princess didn’t understand this, and she leapt forward. She put her head to the tarmac and tried casting a spell on it…but nothing happened. She attempted it again, but nothing happened. A third try still yielded no results, and by this point, she was getting frustrated. She looked up and saw a shiny yellow Chevrolet Camaro sitting in the spot closest to her. She suddenly decided that the odd looking device was blocking all of the magic power that this lot held. What she failed to notice in her haste to relieve her anger was a sign in front of the car: “Reserved-Principal Celestia.”

She went to hit it, but her tour guide suddenly stopped her. “Just what do you think you’re doing, Princess?!” The VP said sharply, “this is my sister’s car!”

“Car? I know not what this ‘car’ is, but I know that this bright yellow monster is devouring all of the power from this place! It shall pay…WITH ITS LIFE!”

She raised her arm again, but VP Luna caught it. “Princess Luna, you do realize that this place has absolutely no power to it, right?”

“What?” Princess Luna asked as her rage calmed, “…no power?”

“Yes, and we certainly aren’t seeking to ‘abuse’ anything with regards to our students. We happen to love and care for them.”

“But…Sunset Shimmer…she laughed at me. Nopony has ever dared to chuckle in my presence unless I have told a funny joke. When she told me that you always told her, ‘no parking in the faculty lot,’ I guessed that it was because you were hiding some great power from everyone here. I thought that it made you stronger and better…but I guess I was wrong.”

VP Luna nodded. “Yes, you were, and it’s a good thing you realized it, too. This car cost my sister a fortune!”

“Please…what is this…car…you speak of?”

VP Luna pointed at the four-wheeled emblem of higher living sitting in front of them. “This is a car, Princess. Humans use them to drive from place to place.”

“Fascinating…so, tell me, does the car give humans magic powers?”

VP Luna chuckled. “No, Princess, although some people think it does. You see, magic doesn’t work here like I’m sure it does in Equestria. You live in a world filled with creatures that are nothing more than myth here, and magic that you use on a daily basis. Magic doesn’t exist here, except for the times when it pops out of a portal from your world.”

The princess looked at the ground, ashamed at her behavior. “I am deeply humbled by your explanation, and I am sorry for the way I have conducted myself. I just thought that this lot was a place of great power. I guess I didn’t stop to think that things might work differently in this world. Still, though, I am very curious to learn more. Please, educate me on just how your world works.”

“I’d be glad to,” the Vice Principal said.

So it was that the two walked off, arm-in-arm. They were new friends, set on paths that would take them very far. Princess Luna would make many more visits to the school, and the administrator always took the time to instruct her pony counterpart on the ways of the world. Soon, the royal became an expert, and took these ideas home to Equestria, where they were taught to other ponies. Human things never really caught on, but they were a very popular subject of study. The faculty lot might not have held the power that Luna thought was there, but it definitely opened the door to new knowledge that she wouldn’t have had otherwise. To her, that was more than enough.