Male Seahorses have the Baby!?by HomeshineChapters1:What?2: Everything3:What's good for the gander is good for the goose4:What is the measure of a man?5:"What a piece of work is man"6:What is love?7:What is this?1:What?Author's Note This is a real thing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seahorse#Reproduction 1:What? "I can't be pregnant; I'm a boy." Shining Armor smiled, thinking it was a joke. The smile changed into a grimace as his 'morning sickness' started to kick in again. As Shining fought his nausea, Doctor Horse pinned his scans to the overhead projector. "Well, it's very clear from these pictures. No doubt about it. I even ran them twice, in case something was wrong. You're pregnant." Cadence gripped Shining's hoof in her own "Aww, that's so sweet! Flurry will have a little brother or sister! It will be just like you and Twilight!" "But... but... how?" The doctor turned to face Shining Armor on the examining table, "Tell me, you've been to Seaquestria in the last few months, yes?" "Well, yeah, Cadence and I had a goodwill tour there as emissaries of the Crystal Empire" "Well, that will be it, then, of course. In Seaquestria, the male seapony has the baby, not the female; different anatomy for underwater life." Shining turned to Cadence, still in shock, "Is he ...he's not really serious, is he?" He turned back to the doctor, "What do I have, really?" Cadence answered for him, still grinning from ear to ear, "No. That's how it works there. Everyone knows that." She interrupted herself while gazing over the scans, "Oh, look, you can see the blob on the scan, right there! This looks just like my scans; remember, Shiny? When Flurry Heart was ... "Shiny? Shiny?" ... "Fainting spells are mildly common during pregnancy. Make sure she- he eats regular meals and gets plenty of fluids. Especially if she- he is experiencing morning sickness. It's important to recover lost fluids immediately. It's good for the baby." * * * The happy (ish) couple, now discharged from the doctor's office, continued their trek towards Twilight's castle, with Shining Armor putting a hoof to his abdomen every few moments, "Well at least we know I'm not contagious; I can't give it to Twilight while I'm here." "... Unless she wants you to." "CADENCE!" "Princess of Love, 'member? That's why I had to try the Seapony way while we were there. It was a professional duty. I didn't think... I didn't know you would even be in season." Shining Armor blushed, "Let's not talk about it in front of Twilight. What will we tell her?" "The truth, of course. She's your sister; she will be as understanding as I am, I'm sure." They rapped on the giant double-doors of Twilight's castle. They opened immediately; Twilight must have been standing right there for some time, worrying about it; "What did the doctor say?" "Twily ... I'm going to have a baby. Flurry Heart is going to have a sibling." Twilight's look of concern straightened into a grin, "Well, congratulations!" and then back to concern, "but what about you, Shiny?" Since Shining Armor was too preoccupied with looking at the ground at that particular moment in time, so Cadence eventually answered for him, "That's just it; Shiny's having the baby this time. See, we were in Seaquestria a ways back, and..." "Oh, yeah, and the boy seapony gets pregnant! So that's why you've been feeling sick in the mornings! Bad fish, my left hooves!" Shining Armor looked up, "Does everypony else know this fact except me? Well, I shouldn't be surprised Twilight knows; she knows everything." Spike finally made it to the door, and raised one claw in the air, "I knew that, too! Of course, I read a lot of Twilight's books." "Oh yeah, I caught him reading up on pony anatomy last night. Which reminds me, I need to get volume two for Spike off of the top shelf. It will explain a lot of this for both of you." Cadence looked down at Spike knowingly. Spike blushed. Shining Armor just looked confused, and followed Twilight, saying, "But we changed back from being seaponies... how can I still be pre- preg- pregnant?" "Oh it's easy! I'll get that book for you, too!" Twilight's purple glow enveloped two volumes on opposite ends of the bookshelf at once, since she knew where they both were intrinsically, floating them over to her and opening to the proper pages in the large, tabbed-for-your-convenience medical and magical volumes. "See? The Pearl Of The Ocean must have this safety, which is common to many transformation spells. It won't change anything if it would endanger the proper functioning of your current body. It's similar to making sure you install a fuse switch when you install a light. Plus, it has memories of Cadence and the other seaponies it has changed before, to use for a reference. So it can draw on that knowledge during the transformation. You probably have a uterus now, and fallopian tubes, and everything!" Twilight showed Shining Armor the picture in her anatomy book. "Ev- Everything? Even-" "Of course! Everything! As the baby progresses, the magic will probably revert more changes, as needed. So you will gradually see more changes to your body, not only from pregnancy, but from the magic making you more feminine to strengthen your... new position. Your whole body will become more suited to the pregnancy, not only hormones, but physical changes from the magic as well to make you more girly. And this will apply to everything." "Everything? Even ..." "Yes, everything. And where did you think the baby would come out, otherwise? It has to be done to be born." "You mean ... everything, everything?" "Yes, everything. Why do you keep saying that? But that's not all; the regular hormone changes during pregnancy will occur as well, so you will have the nesting instincts and the nursing instincts, as well, for example..." Shining Armor interrupted, "But when will it start happening? And how long will ... everything ... last?" "Hard to say. The magical changes have obviously started already. You'll be seeing more very soon. Probably, after birth, it will be several months before your body even starts to revert to normal, as there are after-pregnancy considerations as well, and I was saying the nursing hormones... - Oh, Shiny! You'll be able to nurse the baby when it's born! Isn't that great? Shiny?" "Shiny?" "Shiny?" Cadence caught up to them, and looked down at Shining Armor on the ground, "The doctor said this would happen sometimes. We need to give her- ... him more fluids, and make sure he eats on a regular basis, when he's ready for it. He's also had quite a bit of a shock, several of them, recently, in addition to the trials of pregnancy. I remember my own pregnancy would give me dizzy spells." Cadence smiled down and continued, "But Shiny here is used to the work of training to be a captain of the guard. He should be fine!" Shining Armor, on the floor, simply muttered weakly, " ... everything ". 2: Everything"How do I pee?" Cadence's discussion with Twilight in the Castle library that morning was suddenly interrupted by Shining armor's shouted question from what must have been the bathroom. Cadence got up out of the red fluffy chair to see what Shining was making such a fuss about; calling out, "Honestly, Shining. The same way you always did, except sitting down. When I had to use your equipment, it wasn't hard to figure out. And-" Shining re-interrupted, "Wait ... do you have MY ... gender?" Twilight re-re-interrupted, "Can I see?" "No!" Shining insisted! "Sure!" Cadence agreed, stopping halfway. This caused Shining Armor to come out of the bathroom, stopping suddenly in the doorway, "Is Twilight *taking notes*?!" She continued talking to Cadence while scribbling on a notepad. "So the spell is turning you male while it changes Shining female? Of course! there's a magical conservation law in effect. I should have realized." "Um, about my problem." "Honestly, brother, It can't be that hard." "Well, not any more," Cadence giggled. "Oh, that was a low blow," Twilight laughed, too, holding one hoof to her mouth to stifle her giggles. "I'm sorry. We shouldn't be laughing. But it's all in good fun, isn't it?" "As long as someone explains it to me." Shining had taken the comfy chair in front of Twilight, resting his head in his front hooves. Twilight said, "There's no reason to be embarrassed about anything; we're here for you, whatever you need. Besides, we have more experience being girls than you do. You can't expect to know everything. Do you want us to stop teasing you about it?" Shining looked up again at Twilight, "No; it's okay. It takes some getting used to, is all." Cadence returned and sat on the armrest of the poofy chair, since Shining had accidentally taken the place she was previously occupying, giving Shining Armor a neck-hug, "If you want, you can tease me for slowly becoming a boy. I'm sure there's plenty of things I'll have to ask you about." Shining Armor looked over at her, squinting a bit, "Hmm, I may need to teach you how to shave." Princess Cadence put both hooves to her cheeks, "Oh, my goodness, really? Oh, dear. You're right. Well, at least you won't have to do it anymore. And after that, maybe I'll teach you how to put on makeup." "Do I have to do the eyeball wand? It creeps me out just watching you do it." Cadence had to stop for a second, trying to figure out what he was talking about, "Not if you don't want to. Maybe we'll make that lesson two." Cadence got up and continued moving towards the bathroom again, turning back to Twilight, "I guess I'll go help him, or ... her ... figure it all out, okay, sweety?" * * * Spike stopped eating his bowl of cereal mid-bite to gape at Shining Armor coming out of the bathroom, "Whoa! You look like Rarity. That's... kinda hot." Cadence pulled him back in mock protest, "Well, he's taken. By me. Bwahaha. You can't have him unless I say so." Twilight walked a circle around them, "You do look rather handsome. That gives me a wonderful idea! Rarity can make you a pretty dress to go with your new look!" Cadence clapped her hooves together in excitement, smiling a big, toothy grin, "Ohh, yes! We'll order lots! Lots and lots of dresses! In every style! You'll be the prettiest Prince in the Empire!" Shining shoved his two front hooves out in protest, "Oh, no! I can still wear my armor if I have to! I don't need to dress up more than that to go to all the fancy events we normally go on all the time ... on a routine basis ... " he stopped. He then tottered over to the full-length mirror and looked himself up and down. He continued to admire himself some more. He stared at his beautiful reflection for the longest time. "Well... maybe. Maybe one." * * * "Magnificent, Darling! I always thought you looked particularly dapper. Now I shall make you ... FABULOUS!" Rarity was a whirlwind of movement; the kind normally reserved for Rainbow Dash, measuring here, writing there, cutting and sewing everywhere. Spike even had trouble keeping up. In no time flat, Shining Armor was wearing the start of a fantastically beautiful bright blue dress, while Rarity exulted over its features. "It matches your eyes and mane, and I was positively INSPIRED by the the way that lock of hair flips over your horn. It's debonair, magnifique... " She stopped finally, panting hard from her recent exertions, "In short- it will be *perfect*. You look great, deary." Shining Armor had no choice but to agree. It appeared almost as if his mane continued down his back, across his entire body until it met up with his tail (both of which he noted, were significantly longer than they used to be yesterday). It was hard to tell where dress ended and hair began, what part was fabric and what part was part of him. But he supposed that is exactly the effect that Rarity had in mind. It was as if all of it, every bit of it, was 'part of him'. He was beautiful. He'd never been beautiful before. Handsome, yes, but never beautiful. It was a new experience for him. He didn't know what to say. Rarity said it for him, as she turned to Cadence, "This is my favorite part of the job. When they find that special dress they just adore. And they adore how they look in it. It suits them. Look at him enjoy being fabulous!" "Great, we'll take it!" Cadence replied. "Them, darling!" "Them?" "Of course! I absolutely must make you a matching tuxedo in the same fashion!" Rarity pulled Cadence along like a kite on a string, "I will make you so very handsome!" While Shining was admiring his reflection, Twilight and Spike gazed in wonderment at the retreating form of Princess (Prince?) Cadence saying "I'm not too sure about ThaaaaaaaAAAAaaaaaaaa..." 3:What's good for the gander is good for the goose"Did ... you cut yourself shaving, Cady?" "Shut up," Cadence laughed as she continued to patch herself up. "It's harder than it looks. And you know what else is harder than it look- OW!-, that was karma." Cadence stopped, "I think I'm at a 'good enough' level for now. Ready to tell Auntie Celestia and Luna the big news? Raven's got us an appointment at the palace around sunset. I figure we could grab lunch and lounge at the Canterlot pool first; actually be vacation-y for once." "Well, that sounds logical." "Buuuuut ... I tried my swimsuit on earlier and with my new physique it ... doesn't fit any more. I figured I could wear your swimsuit and you could wear mine. It looks just your size, your ... new size, so it should work until your pregnancy starts showing." Shining rooted through luggage, "Where is it? Here? Oh, heavens!" Shining held the bikini up to the light. It was very pink. Hot pink. Furious, burning, boiling lava pink. He'd forgotten just how very pink it was. The look really worked on Cadence, but on himself ... "Maybe I won't wear a swimsuit after all." "Nonsense, it will accentuate your curves." "But this is Canterlot! My old soldiers are out there! What if they see me in this? They'll see me as a ... girl." "You are a girl. People have got to see you sometime, unless you were planning to hide the whole pregnancy?" "Well, no. Hmmm." "Besides, I get to play the big, tough boyfriend in your hot shorts. It will be just like we were teenagers, except reversed!" It SOUNDED logical. He told himself that the entire time he put the bikini on. Not that he wanted to wear it or anything. Nope. * * * "Check it out; I think it's, like, the Commander's sister. She looks just like him. Maybe they're twins?" "That's not how twins work, silly. ... Oh, wow, you're right! She does look exactly like him. It's gotta be her. What's her name? Daylight Sparkle? Something like that. He talked about her so much, but I never got a chance to see her in person before; oh wow, she's really hot! You know, if I'm his sister's boyfriend, I bet he could get me a promotion in record time!" "No way, I saw her first. SIR! Permission go begin another patrol!" "And what's got you two in such a hurry to go on patrol early? Give me those binoculars! Oh, I see ... I'm not sure that's such a good idea, fellas. First off, I don't think you'd be concentrating on security as much as trying to pick up girls, and you're already in trouble on that front. Second, and more importantly, I THINK that particular girl is really -" "Please, sir. It will ... help us focus." The Captain stopped. He then smiled a wicked smile, "Oh, I think it will be exactly what you two need to focus. Go have fun." * * * "You must be related to Celestia, because you're just as fine." What in Tartarus was this? Shining Armor looked up from his book. Two guards were standing, looming, on either side of the deck chair he was lounging in, spears almost crossed. It made him feel claustrophobic. "Um ... hello?" "You've got the purest skin, the flowing hair, I'll bet you've even been to heaven." Oh. Was he being ... picked up? At least it meant that they hadn't recognized him. He pitched up his voice to try to go with the ruse. It was ... disturbingly easy. The day wouldn't be too far away he wouldn't even need to do it deliberately; and probably Cadence would start sounding more like him. "I don't think this is appropriate. I'm ... er ... married," Shining said. "Is that, so? Well, you could always get some action on the side ... if you know what I mean." "... I'm obviously reading. Go away." "You telling me you don't want some of this?" "Oh, lay off her!" came a voice from a couple chairs over. "She's obviously not interested." She was a bright blue thing, wearing the splitting image of Cadence's ... or rather his... hot, boiling pink bikini. It looked good on her. He was starting to feel more confident in his own swimsuit. It must be in style or something; probably Twilight's friend Rarity had something to do with that. "You're not in uniform! You're not on duty!" said the troublesome guard. "Apparently, neither are you. I have today off, what's your excuse?" said the girl in the bikini. "My excuse is what are you going to do about it?" "Are you going to make me do something about it?" "Oh please, like that's a threat. Have you EVER beat me in a sparring match?" "Well, I'm not in heavy armor, so maybe I'll move faster." "Oh, did you want to spar right now? Come on; I'll spar right here! That's right. That's what I thought. You can't tell me what to do. You're not my commanding-" {WHAM!} THUD! CLUNK! "No. But I am." The guard opened his eyes. He stared straight up at the still-spinning image of his commander's face. Apparently the Friendship Express had materialized entirely within his head, and then it had run him over. He was laying down, spread-eagle, with all four hooves, head, and tail splayed out like a starfish. He hadn't even seen it coming. Eventually, the spinning stopped, and his commander's face materialized into ... oh no. oh yes. Cadence came running up, wearing Shining's swim trunks. Shining turned and said to her, "Tell me I was never that bad when I was a guy." "YOU weren't, but others ... were." The guard that was still standing said, "Welcome back to Canterlot, Sir! This is the best undercover work I've ever seen! Do you think he's learned his lesson, Sir?" Shining smiled, "No, I think there's another punishment that would suit him just fine." * * * "Welcome back from patrol, Soldiers, What the-? , why... why are you ... out of ... uniform?" "This is my new uniform from now on, Sir. Commander Shining Armor's orders." The guard saluted his superior in his "new" hot pink, hot burning, hot boiling lava, pink bikini. 4:What is the measure of a man?Celestia took the news rather well, all considering, "Oh, dear; I've heard of this from Queen Novo, but I've never actually ... is everything going to be okay with the pregnancy?" Shining Rolled his eyes while responding, "Twilight is going to send all of us a 'comprehensive, cross-indexed report, including original, first-hoof research, as well as a literature review of Seaponies' historical ideanyms.' I think that was what she said?" He turned to Cadence. "I think that's close enough." Luna said, "Yes, that rather does sound like Twilight Sparkle. Especially when it's to help ponies she's close to." Celestia continued, "Well, make yourselves comfortable while you're back in Canterlot. if you're feeling up to it, we'd rather thought you might come to a soirée we're having this evening. But given your current situation, I can understand if you might not want to attend." Shining turned to Cadence, "I'm up for it if you are. You could even wear that Tuxedo that Miss Rarity made you." "oh- well, I was..." Cadence said "Please?" "Only if you wear the dress she made you." "Um... well..." "I'll even help you with the 'eyeball wand'." "I don't suppose my armor would fit me any more anyway... Deal!" They clapped hooves in agreement, while Celestia and Luna looked on confusingly. * * * "So what's the deal with your uniform?" Spitfire asked a very strangely-dressed palace guard. "I know a guard's dress uniform is supposed to be formal dress, but you look like the Princess in 'Star Mares'. Did you lose a bet?" "It's ... my commander ... I tried to pick him ... her up, by accident. So now this is my uniform as long as he ... she says so." "What? Who is your commander?" "It was Prince ... Princess Shining armor ... he's a girl now. I don't know why. But I'm sure not going to ask." Spitfire looked into the active gala inside the palace ... "Reaaaaaaaly. Now this I've got to see. as you were, soldier." She stopped and turned as she walked past, grinning, "And it looks good on you." "Um... thank you, ma'am." * * * Cadence shook hooves, "Fancy Pants, well it's been ... fancy meeting you here. I don't think I've ever gotten to talk to you in person." "Pleasure to see you, my dear; however, I must away at the present. Urgent business needs attending to." He walked off to talk to a different group of fancy-looking ponies elsewhere. Shining came tottering over with two cups of punch, trying desperately not to spill any on his fine dress. "I don't get it ... why does the girl usually get the punch on dates, anyway? Can you still get it next time, even though ... you're the guy and all?" Cadence took one cup and knocked it back like a shot glass. "What I don't understand; whenever I really start talking to someone for any length of time, they leave." Shining Armor responded rather matter-of-factly, "Of course. You need to shop the room." "What?" "Kiss up. Make the sale. Schmooze. Gladhand. You're not getting to know people's life story; you're networking." "Like gossip?" "Sort of. Except it's not things that have already happened. It's things that might happen later. It's 'future gossip'." Cadence took Shining's other cup and knocked it back, as well, "I don't suppose they have anything stronger?" They were approached by an opportunistic Prince Blueblood, bringing with him his own two cups, "Well, sweetie, you look thirsty, and you should smile more! I bet you would look amazing." He said, hoofing one cup over. The cup which was intercepted by Cadence, "I wouldn't drink that if I were you." Prince Blueblood said unconvincingly, "Oh, are you two together? I didn't know." Blueblood started monitoring Shining Armor's face, more closely pulling in, "Have we met before? I don't remember such a fine, sweet thing like ..." Shining Armor deepened his voice until he could sound accordingly authoritative, "Can the flattery, Blueblood." That, at least, finally got Blueblood's attention, "No. No! Oh, my word, yes! My, how you've changed. What on Earth happened? Feeling like less of a stallion? So I suppose this is your lovely wife Cadence, or should I say lovely husband now?" "And yet you're still single." Cadence smiled. "And I swear... if you spiked my ... wife's drink I will report you to Auntie Celestia myself." He defended himself, "Hey now, nothing of the sort. And I had no idea he ... she was your wife's ... wife." he blinked, confused. Shining Armor decided to intercede, "We had a bit of a trouble earlier with some guards who wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. I think my wife ... husband is getting a bit ... jealous?" Cadence opened her mouth to say something, and then stopped. "My goodness, I think you're right, Shiny. Maybe it's the testosterone talking." * * * Spitfire couldn't believe it. Not only was Commander Prince Shining Armor now very princESS, but Princess Cadence was looking very princely. Well, there was only so much to observe from afar... "Well, it appears I'm not the only ball-busting female commander anymore." Shining Armor tried to whirl around in a military about-face, but apparently forgot he was wearing a dress, so instead he tripped on it and went crashing to the ground. "Are you okay?" Spitfire asked the lump of dress on the ground. "BLUGH!" Shining's head poked out of the lump, "I wasn't expecting to see anyone else I knew here! I wasn't exactly the high-society type before I married Cadence. Could I get some close air support?" Spitfire stifled a giggle with one hoof, before she and Cadence helped Shining back to his hooves, "What in Equestria happened to you? That must have been one heck of a spell accident! Or are you deciding to get more in touch with your feminine side?" "Well, I was angry when it first happened, but now it's becoming more of ... both, actually. Maybe it is the hormones, like what's happening to Cadence." Blueblood smirked at that, "So it's not just skin deep? Oh, this is rich! I guess you'll be less of a stallion for quite a while, then?" Cadence replied instead, to Spitfire "I keep feeling as if I'm about to deck Blueblood, but I think it's the testosterone talking." "No. I want to deck him all the time. I think it's his face talking." Blueblood continued, unperturbed, "So it looks like I'm the better stallion now. Let me know if you need anything heavy lifted. Any jars opened?" Spitfire got an inch from Blueblood's face, "He's ... she's ten times the stallion you could ever hope to be. And ten times the soldier!" "Oh, is she featherbrain? I'd ask you to take it outside, but I don't believe in fighting like a girl." "You're on, pointyhead!" Cadence tried to intervene, following after Shining and the other two as they ran off for the balcony, "Guys! Girls! Guy-girl!" * * * It was the end of the battle that was surprising. Not the fight's outcome; the fight's outcome was essentially preordained. One side had a well-trained battle commander in Spitfire. Blueblood's side had ... well ... Blueblood. Blueblood started with a swirling discus-style roundhouse punch, which Spitfire deftly dodged by flapping into the air slightly, casing Blueblood's punch's momentum to carry him over the railing, and causing him to throw himself over the side. But what was surprising was what came next. Shining Armor, the very one who was being fought over, grabbed at him at the last possible second and managed to secure Blueblood's left hind leg before being carried over himself. And there they hung, upside-down. Shining hanging from the handrail, giving the world a very good look under his dress, with one arm around Blueblood's leg, who was also upside-down, below Shining. "Please don't let go!" Prince Blueblood was actually ... crying. "I'm not about to." Prince Shining Armor promised. Spitfire continued her whirl around from the fight and came about parallel to them, "I didn't expect that would happen! I'm sorry. You okay?" "HELP! PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING! I Yield!" "Settle down!" Spitfire grabbed his other hind leg, "I've got you both. Let's get you landlubbers back to the ground side of the castle. ... Wow, Shining, you have changed all the way through." "Oh, quiet, you!" Shining blushed as Spitfire dragged them back over some bushes. They landed in a heap. Prince Blueblood looked up at Shining Armor as he regained his footing, "Why ... why did you save me?" "I ... wanted to be the better stallion." "I was wrong, then. You are the better stallion." They shook hooves. A flash of light foretold the sudden teleportary arrival of Celestia and Luna, in midair over them both. Luna spoke first, "Celly, has a single Gala of yours ever gone correctly since my return?" "There was that one that ... Hmm, well, no; that ended poorly, too. Hmm." Celestia continued unabashed, "But that would be boring. They would be so boring and... terribly boring otherwise! Something's got to spice them up!" Celestia turned and faced Shining Armor, "And I think someone's started along the path to alicornship. That was indeed brave of you, for reasons that have nothing to do with the battlefield. We'll keep an eye on you, ... princess." Celestia winked. Shining blushed again. "There are more trials, which I'm sure you'll pass in time." Blueblood pouted. "What about me? I said he was the better stallion!" "You ... still have a ways to go, but I suppose that is on on the right track." "Can you at least get us out of here and back to the Gala?" 'Princess' Shining Armor looked up at Celestia, "It would be faster." Celestia rolled her eyes, "Very well; we may shortcut through my cloud realm, but only-" and here her eyes became slits as she glared at Blueblood "If you touch NOTHING!" "Yes, ma'am. And sir, er, ma'am, or sir. * * * The guard burst in the door the next morning, "Princess! The Prince would like to see you." 'Princess' Shining Armor looked up from the report 'she' was reading. "Tell him I'll be right there." Shining met up with 'Prince' Cadence after a brisk jog, "What's going on?" "I just received a very ... strange request from Prince Blueblood. He wants me to turn him into a girl, as well. I think he thinks it will help him become an Alicorn princess. Which is silly. I'm a boy and I'm still an Alicorn. I'm not sure he's learned the right lesson, here." Cadence paused for a moment. "I'm tempted to say I'm going to change him just to embarrass him." Shining disagreed, "That would make us guilty of the same thing. You can't make fun of and hurt someone simply because the opportunity presents itself. It would do nothing positive. Leave it be." Cadence looked up at Shining, "I thought you'd answer that way. You are becoming more like a princess ... in more ways than one." 5:"What a piece of work is man"But Shining HATED shopping, didn't he? "Does this mean I enjoy shopping now?" Cadence looked surprised, "I kinda hope not. That would mean I would start to not enjoy shopping, and I'm still having fun. I do like being the one carrying things, though. Maybe because I'm getting more upper body strength. Hyah! Huh! Hulk smash!" Cadence karate chopped a pony mannequin, which didn't respond to being karated in any way. Shining laughed. "Please don't smash the store. Actually, I think the carrying urge an instinct, too. You want to provide for the family; it manifests in you wanting to carry their things, to be the pack's pack-rat. It makes you useful." He paused. "Is that why there's the getting the things to carry, Cady?" Cadence thought for a moment, "I think it's like harvest. You have to wait until the fruit is ripe, you wait and wait, and then there's a big sale and BAM! It's ready! Pants harvest; it's pants season. Let's harvest some pants! Ooh! And harvest some socks, too!" They were shopping in Canterlot while waiting for Twilight to finish her report. Likely it was already finished, and they were really waiting on her to triple-check her report. But it was a fun interlude, anyway, especially when Shining had to tell Cadence to stop "socks-bucking" the "harvest" of socks on display. "What do you do for guy's night out? We should try that, too." Cadence laughed, "before you forget how, or something." "I never really learned in the first place. Mostly we stayed at home and played Ogres and Oubliettes." He perked up, 'we could do that!" "Hmm ... maybe." "But first, I need pickles." * * * "Hayburger with extra extra extra extra pickles" Shining ordered. "Usually you get extra burgers from the food court. Or corndogs. Ooh, maybe I should get a corndog now. Get your boyfriend his corndog!" Cadence playfully jostled Shining Armor. "I'll be Shining Armor today." Dutifully received, she took a cautious bite of her corndog. "Oh wow, this is delicious! Why is this suddenly so delicious? All of a sudden, this is better than pizza!" "I'm sure Twilight would be able to explain ... speaking of ... " Shining trailed off as a scroll materialized on his horn. Cadence snatched it, having already gulped down her entire corndog, and so had her hooves free. "It's from Twilight. She says she finished her report, but is too large to send by dragon-fire mail. She's going to take the train up with paper copies." Another scroll appeared and went the same way, "This one's from Auntie Celestia. She wants us and Twilight to meet her at the palace after the train arrives, which .. hmm will be a few hours from now. Which means we have time ..." Cadence turned back to the Hayburger clerk, both front hooves on the counter "I shall require many corndog. I think ten; ten corndog." "With extra pickles." * * * "Oh yes," Twilight answered. "Guys and girls do taste things slightly differently. The different metabolisms require ... OH NO! I left it out of my report!" the dictionary-sized tomes gliding over suddenly stopped, hung in mid air, caught in Twilight's purple glow, as she fished a quill out of her saddlebags to start writing addenda to them. Shining stretched out a hoof, standing tippy-toe trying to reach the midair volume closest to him, "I'm sure it's okay. You can simply tell us." He finally grasped it. Celestia simply teleported her volume into her lap with a flash. She lay back on her throne and perused it. Cadence flew into the air and snatched hers in a twirl that would have made Spitfire proud. Twilight looked up, and started her presentation as if nothing had happened "As you can see .. both seaponies and hippogriffs lay eggs. Their culture is therefore less gender-aligned for caregiving. NORMALLY male gestation isn't therefore a problem, as the egg would transform along with everything else, and hatch normally. In this case, though, the spell ran into some issues. If you're interested in the technical details, I will discuss those next." Twilight continued, "The logic pathing entered the spell matrix failsafe, which NORMALLY isn't a problem, and is used when transforming people around clothes, jewelry, or needing to displace nearby objects or oneself in a teleport, so you don't teleport inside of a wall or something. Since Cadence's 'female' pattern could account for pregnancy, and Shining Armor's 'male' pattern could not, when the patterns were then checked for the most optimal placement strategy, these two, and only these two patterns, were swapped during the transform, and slowly for a period after until the swap was complete. This logic pathway allowed for the spell to exit successfully." Cadence raised one hoof, "Can we have the version for those who DIDN'T go to a school for magically gifted unicorns?" Twilight's 'lecture mode' stumbled a bit, "If they'd transformed into "land ponies" one at a time, likely the spell would have simply failed to go off, as it wasn't possible for Shining to do safely, and we'd have had to figure out why from there. Since they DID transform together, however, the spell saw a way to complete the transform as it is supposed to; try to "make do" with the 'obvious' solution of swapping their genders around. This way, the spell could finish its job. Shining asked, "What about the actual pregnancy?" "If not by now, then soon, it will be if Shiny has always been a girl and Cadence has always been a boy, so the rest of the pregnancy should go fairly normally. Also, Cadence should 'bulk up' as the testosterone takes hold. Sunburst has volunteered to collect more data on both of these points when you return to the Crystal Empire." Celestia mused, rubbing her cheek with one hoof, "Well, I suspect Sunburst will enjoy studying this in correspondence with Twilight, but I wonder how the rest of the Crystal Empire will react to this news. We should prepare a statement." She smiled down at Twilight, "Preferably one that's shorter than your wonderful report." Shining interrupted, 'I'm wondering if we can't get some more food first? I'm suddenly really hungry. Can we get the guard to tell the chef to make some food? Preferably something with lots of pickles." Twilight added hopefully, "Like hayburgers?" Cadence was next, "And some corndogs. And pizza." "And cake." 6:What is love?"Is this Shining or Cadence?" Sunburst's giant head peered confusingly into the room. "Either this spell is progressing faster than expected, or there's something wrong with this communication crystal. Or -- oh! It's both of you. So the spell hit so quickly, Shining? You already sound like a girl." "Well, I kinda ... am?" Shining armor nervously rubbed the back of his (her?) neck with one hoof, while Celestia tittered in the background. "That's part of what we want to talk to you about." Sunburst grinned, "So I guess you're not poorly qualified changelings?" Cadence smiled, "I don't think changelings this naive would be able to make their way into Auntie's crystal communication room. How is Flurry Heart doing?" "She's fine, if I can get her to stop trying to eat the communication crystal. Look, see? It's Mommy and Daddy. Or Daddy and Mommy. You won't be able to see them if you won't let go of the ..." Sunburst's giant head was now upside down and shaking side to side. "Give me back ... wait ... there. She's a hoof-full sometimes." Cadence grinned through he commotion on-screen, "We'll try to make it as short as possible, Sunburst." Celestia said quietly to Shining Armor in the background, "I do like his name. Sunburst." Flurry Heart got a turn being the giant head in the room, "Ma Da fun!" Shining, who was used to barking orders under less-than-ideal circumstances, took command, saying in a rush, "We're sending a statement, so the Crystal Empire knows what to expect. If there's any problems, you can send a message to Twilight, and have her send a report directly to us. Speaking of ... are you okay there?" Shining's voice at the end regained her feminine lilt. Sunburst's crystal-projected head regained normality, "No, it's okay. This is a normal day around here, as you know. Don't hurry on my account; doing fine. I'll look forward to seeing everything! Take care and -" The image ended prematurely, leaving them all in an unexpected silence. "Should we call him back?" Celestia asked. Shining answered, "No, as Sunburst said, that's .. pretty normal around Flurry. He can handle it. Let's eat." * * * "I've heard of eating for two... now that I think of it, are you sure you're not eating for more?" Cadence asked Shining, who was on his fifth pickle-burger. Now sixth. "You saw the scans yourself. I guess pickles aren't very calorific? I dunno. Maybe it has to do with me turning into a girl?" he stopped for a second, "Wait! Are you saying I'm gonna get fat?" his eyes started tearing up. "Oh, Goodness, no! You're every bit the firm recruit I married. No pregnancy or genderswap will change that! Don't get upset! I shouldn't have mentioned it. I was just thinking about the Hippogriffs' clutch of eggs." Cadence patted Shining on the back, who looked down at his now-empty plate. "I'm not hungry anymore." Shining got up in one leap, and stalked out of the room. "I remember this when I was pregnant," Cadence muttered, as she trotted after. * * * "I know it's only the hormones talking, but ... it still hurts." Shining was blubbering, while lying on the bed, in the arms of Cadence, who was gently petting him. "I know how you feel. Remember when I was about to pop and you were right here where I am? For me?" Cadence continued to pet Shining's now much-longer hair. Shining stopped crying, paused a moment, and smiled, finally at last saying "yeah." he continued, "I remember that." "That's what love is. We're here for each other. It doesn't matter what the challenge is; if you're pregnant or I am. Or what gender we are. Or even if you somehow swell up into a zeppelin the size of all of Canterlot, I'll still love you. That's the one thing that can't be transformed. So always keep that in mind." "That's ... kind of what I said to you, then. I forget exactly." "I think husbands have said that to wives since the founding of Equestria," Cadence leaned down and kissed her horn, "so you know it's true." Shining Armor stood up on all fours, "I am feeling better now. Okay, 'husband', let's go finish that statement! ... And the food!" 7:What is this?Sunburst took Shining Armor's scarf as (s)he walked in the door, before Flurry could finish reaching for it, Flurry Heart being perched on Sunburst's head. "When you first told me Shining was turning into a princess, I'd thought he was getting wings. Flurry, let go of that. It's Daddy's or ... Mommy's?" Flurry looked up at the fully femaled Shining Armor, and the colorful scarf, and immediately started crying. Shining took Flurry from the frazzle-haired Sunburst, "There, there. You don't want that. Dadd- Mommy's scarf is all wet and muddy and icky. We'll get you something warm to play with." Shining looked up at Sunburst, "At least she let go of the scarf." "Daddy Mommy?" Flurry abruptly stopped crying. "Yes, Flurry, I am a Mommy for now. But don't worry, I'm still here for you, as always." Cadence eventually trailed in. He was carrying way too many packages in both front hooves, walked only on the back ones. Shining took some of the weight off of the about-to-topple pile of parcels in her magic, "Let me get those for you dear. Or are you just trying to show off?" she smiled. "I like showing off! I be big manly man, now." He said in his now-deeper voice. "Don't tell me you didn't like showing off that hot bikini in exactly the same way." "I suppose. Now I'm wishing I'd kept it." "If you ever finally tell the guard he can stop wearing it, perhaps he can send it back." "Mommy Daddy?" "Yes, Flurry, I'm going to be your Daddy for a while, but don't worry, we still love you just the same." Flurry reached out both front hooves, "Mommy Daddy! Mommy Daddy!" Cadence took Flurry from Shining, "I think she's trying to figure this whole thing out for herself." "Well, that makes two of us." * * * "Where? Aha!" Cadence sat down heavily in the throne-like chair in front of the fireplace, "Finally! I can't believe I almost got lost in my own castle. How does that even happen?" Sunburst held out the bottle, taking back Flurry, "Different navigation heuristics. Mares follow intersecting paths. Stallions use point-to-point. There are therefore different mental maps developed for the same location, which are incompatible. It was in Twilight's report? Didn't you read it?" "Not as deeply as apparently you did. It beat us here, then?" "Celestia sent it here Pegasus Express. The mailmare apparently got it here in record time, but had trouble finding the castle, somehow. She wound up in my lab, updaide-down. But this is FASCINATING reading! Spell theory, biology, cultural dynamics, it's got everything. I've been reading it whenever Flurry goes to sleep." "On that note, would you mind staying a little longer with her? Shiny promised me an Ogres and Oubliettes game during Guy's Night. I want to see what all the fuss is about." "No problem! I'm about to put her to bed, anyway. We wanted to stay up to see you. I can catch a few more chapters after that." "Ok, don't hurt yourself reading. And feel free to join us when she's asleep." "Have fun storming the castle!" * * * "Shiny is playing a girl character? Mister 'I never play a girl character' himself?" Spike took up most of the screen of the viewing crystal, being in front, but Big Mac was barely visible behind him. "Well, I am a girl, now." Cadence and Shining took up opposite chairs at the table in front of the screen, giving the illusion that the table simply continued through the screen into Twilight's castle, where Twilight and Spike sat. But this was only an illusion; the crystal screen transmitted images and sounds, but not objects. "I'm playing a guy character for the same reason. Now go easy on me, I haven't been a guy very long. I'm a bit new to the whole 'Guy's Night' thing. Sunburst may or may not be joining us, later." "Or right now" Sunburst pulled up another chair to the head of the table on Shining and Cadence's side." She went right to sleep. Let's get this thing started!"
1:What?Author's Note This is a real thing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seahorse#Reproduction 1:What? "I can't be pregnant; I'm a boy." Shining Armor smiled, thinking it was a joke. The smile changed into a grimace as his 'morning sickness' started to kick in again. As Shining fought his nausea, Doctor Horse pinned his scans to the overhead projector. "Well, it's very clear from these pictures. No doubt about it. I even ran them twice, in case something was wrong. You're pregnant." Cadence gripped Shining's hoof in her own "Aww, that's so sweet! Flurry will have a little brother or sister! It will be just like you and Twilight!" "But... but... how?" The doctor turned to face Shining Armor on the examining table, "Tell me, you've been to Seaquestria in the last few months, yes?" "Well, yeah, Cadence and I had a goodwill tour there as emissaries of the Crystal Empire" "Well, that will be it, then, of course. In Seaquestria, the male seapony has the baby, not the female; different anatomy for underwater life." Shining turned to Cadence, still in shock, "Is he ...he's not really serious, is he?" He turned back to the doctor, "What do I have, really?" Cadence answered for him, still grinning from ear to ear, "No. That's how it works there. Everyone knows that." She interrupted herself while gazing over the scans, "Oh, look, you can see the blob on the scan, right there! This looks just like my scans; remember, Shiny? When Flurry Heart was ... "Shiny? Shiny?" ... "Fainting spells are mildly common during pregnancy. Make sure she- he eats regular meals and gets plenty of fluids. Especially if she- he is experiencing morning sickness. It's important to recover lost fluids immediately. It's good for the baby." * * * The happy (ish) couple, now discharged from the doctor's office, continued their trek towards Twilight's castle, with Shining Armor putting a hoof to his abdomen every few moments, "Well at least we know I'm not contagious; I can't give it to Twilight while I'm here." "... Unless she wants you to." "CADENCE!" "Princess of Love, 'member? That's why I had to try the Seapony way while we were there. It was a professional duty. I didn't think... I didn't know you would even be in season." Shining Armor blushed, "Let's not talk about it in front of Twilight. What will we tell her?" "The truth, of course. She's your sister; she will be as understanding as I am, I'm sure." They rapped on the giant double-doors of Twilight's castle. They opened immediately; Twilight must have been standing right there for some time, worrying about it; "What did the doctor say?" "Twily ... I'm going to have a baby. Flurry Heart is going to have a sibling." Twilight's look of concern straightened into a grin, "Well, congratulations!" and then back to concern, "but what about you, Shiny?" Since Shining Armor was too preoccupied with looking at the ground at that particular moment in time, so Cadence eventually answered for him, "That's just it; Shiny's having the baby this time. See, we were in Seaquestria a ways back, and..." "Oh, yeah, and the boy seapony gets pregnant! So that's why you've been feeling sick in the mornings! Bad fish, my left hooves!" Shining Armor looked up, "Does everypony else know this fact except me? Well, I shouldn't be surprised Twilight knows; she knows everything." Spike finally made it to the door, and raised one claw in the air, "I knew that, too! Of course, I read a lot of Twilight's books." "Oh yeah, I caught him reading up on pony anatomy last night. Which reminds me, I need to get volume two for Spike off of the top shelf. It will explain a lot of this for both of you." Cadence looked down at Spike knowingly. Spike blushed. Shining Armor just looked confused, and followed Twilight, saying, "But we changed back from being seaponies... how can I still be pre- preg- pregnant?" "Oh it's easy! I'll get that book for you, too!" Twilight's purple glow enveloped two volumes on opposite ends of the bookshelf at once, since she knew where they both were intrinsically, floating them over to her and opening to the proper pages in the large, tabbed-for-your-convenience medical and magical volumes. "See? The Pearl Of The Ocean must have this safety, which is common to many transformation spells. It won't change anything if it would endanger the proper functioning of your current body. It's similar to making sure you install a fuse switch when you install a light. Plus, it has memories of Cadence and the other seaponies it has changed before, to use for a reference. So it can draw on that knowledge during the transformation. You probably have a uterus now, and fallopian tubes, and everything!" Twilight showed Shining Armor the picture in her anatomy book. "Ev- Everything? Even-" "Of course! Everything! As the baby progresses, the magic will probably revert more changes, as needed. So you will gradually see more changes to your body, not only from pregnancy, but from the magic making you more feminine to strengthen your... new position. Your whole body will become more suited to the pregnancy, not only hormones, but physical changes from the magic as well to make you more girly. And this will apply to everything." "Everything? Even ..." "Yes, everything. And where did you think the baby would come out, otherwise? It has to be done to be born." "You mean ... everything, everything?" "Yes, everything. Why do you keep saying that? But that's not all; the regular hormone changes during pregnancy will occur as well, so you will have the nesting instincts and the nursing instincts, as well, for example..." Shining Armor interrupted, "But when will it start happening? And how long will ... everything ... last?" "Hard to say. The magical changes have obviously started already. You'll be seeing more very soon. Probably, after birth, it will be several months before your body even starts to revert to normal, as there are after-pregnancy considerations as well, and I was saying the nursing hormones... - Oh, Shiny! You'll be able to nurse the baby when it's born! Isn't that great? Shiny?" "Shiny?" "Shiny?" Cadence caught up to them, and looked down at Shining Armor on the ground, "The doctor said this would happen sometimes. We need to give her- ... him more fluids, and make sure he eats on a regular basis, when he's ready for it. He's also had quite a bit of a shock, several of them, recently, in addition to the trials of pregnancy. I remember my own pregnancy would give me dizzy spells." Cadence smiled down and continued, "But Shiny here is used to the work of training to be a captain of the guard. He should be fine!" Shining Armor, on the floor, simply muttered weakly, " ... everything ".
2: Everything"How do I pee?" Cadence's discussion with Twilight in the Castle library that morning was suddenly interrupted by Shining armor's shouted question from what must have been the bathroom. Cadence got up out of the red fluffy chair to see what Shining was making such a fuss about; calling out, "Honestly, Shining. The same way you always did, except sitting down. When I had to use your equipment, it wasn't hard to figure out. And-" Shining re-interrupted, "Wait ... do you have MY ... gender?" Twilight re-re-interrupted, "Can I see?" "No!" Shining insisted! "Sure!" Cadence agreed, stopping halfway. This caused Shining Armor to come out of the bathroom, stopping suddenly in the doorway, "Is Twilight *taking notes*?!" She continued talking to Cadence while scribbling on a notepad. "So the spell is turning you male while it changes Shining female? Of course! there's a magical conservation law in effect. I should have realized." "Um, about my problem." "Honestly, brother, It can't be that hard." "Well, not any more," Cadence giggled. "Oh, that was a low blow," Twilight laughed, too, holding one hoof to her mouth to stifle her giggles. "I'm sorry. We shouldn't be laughing. But it's all in good fun, isn't it?" "As long as someone explains it to me." Shining had taken the comfy chair in front of Twilight, resting his head in his front hooves. Twilight said, "There's no reason to be embarrassed about anything; we're here for you, whatever you need. Besides, we have more experience being girls than you do. You can't expect to know everything. Do you want us to stop teasing you about it?" Shining looked up again at Twilight, "No; it's okay. It takes some getting used to, is all." Cadence returned and sat on the armrest of the poofy chair, since Shining had accidentally taken the place she was previously occupying, giving Shining Armor a neck-hug, "If you want, you can tease me for slowly becoming a boy. I'm sure there's plenty of things I'll have to ask you about." Shining Armor looked over at her, squinting a bit, "Hmm, I may need to teach you how to shave." Princess Cadence put both hooves to her cheeks, "Oh, my goodness, really? Oh, dear. You're right. Well, at least you won't have to do it anymore. And after that, maybe I'll teach you how to put on makeup." "Do I have to do the eyeball wand? It creeps me out just watching you do it." Cadence had to stop for a second, trying to figure out what he was talking about, "Not if you don't want to. Maybe we'll make that lesson two." Cadence got up and continued moving towards the bathroom again, turning back to Twilight, "I guess I'll go help him, or ... her ... figure it all out, okay, sweety?" * * * Spike stopped eating his bowl of cereal mid-bite to gape at Shining Armor coming out of the bathroom, "Whoa! You look like Rarity. That's... kinda hot." Cadence pulled him back in mock protest, "Well, he's taken. By me. Bwahaha. You can't have him unless I say so." Twilight walked a circle around them, "You do look rather handsome. That gives me a wonderful idea! Rarity can make you a pretty dress to go with your new look!" Cadence clapped her hooves together in excitement, smiling a big, toothy grin, "Ohh, yes! We'll order lots! Lots and lots of dresses! In every style! You'll be the prettiest Prince in the Empire!" Shining shoved his two front hooves out in protest, "Oh, no! I can still wear my armor if I have to! I don't need to dress up more than that to go to all the fancy events we normally go on all the time ... on a routine basis ... " he stopped. He then tottered over to the full-length mirror and looked himself up and down. He continued to admire himself some more. He stared at his beautiful reflection for the longest time. "Well... maybe. Maybe one." * * * "Magnificent, Darling! I always thought you looked particularly dapper. Now I shall make you ... FABULOUS!" Rarity was a whirlwind of movement; the kind normally reserved for Rainbow Dash, measuring here, writing there, cutting and sewing everywhere. Spike even had trouble keeping up. In no time flat, Shining Armor was wearing the start of a fantastically beautiful bright blue dress, while Rarity exulted over its features. "It matches your eyes and mane, and I was positively INSPIRED by the the way that lock of hair flips over your horn. It's debonair, magnifique... " She stopped finally, panting hard from her recent exertions, "In short- it will be *perfect*. You look great, deary." Shining Armor had no choice but to agree. It appeared almost as if his mane continued down his back, across his entire body until it met up with his tail (both of which he noted, were significantly longer than they used to be yesterday). It was hard to tell where dress ended and hair began, what part was fabric and what part was part of him. But he supposed that is exactly the effect that Rarity had in mind. It was as if all of it, every bit of it, was 'part of him'. He was beautiful. He'd never been beautiful before. Handsome, yes, but never beautiful. It was a new experience for him. He didn't know what to say. Rarity said it for him, as she turned to Cadence, "This is my favorite part of the job. When they find that special dress they just adore. And they adore how they look in it. It suits them. Look at him enjoy being fabulous!" "Great, we'll take it!" Cadence replied. "Them, darling!" "Them?" "Of course! I absolutely must make you a matching tuxedo in the same fashion!" Rarity pulled Cadence along like a kite on a string, "I will make you so very handsome!" While Shining was admiring his reflection, Twilight and Spike gazed in wonderment at the retreating form of Princess (Prince?) Cadence saying "I'm not too sure about ThaaaaaaaAAAAaaaaaaaa..."
3:What's good for the gander is good for the goose"Did ... you cut yourself shaving, Cady?" "Shut up," Cadence laughed as she continued to patch herself up. "It's harder than it looks. And you know what else is harder than it look- OW!-, that was karma." Cadence stopped, "I think I'm at a 'good enough' level for now. Ready to tell Auntie Celestia and Luna the big news? Raven's got us an appointment at the palace around sunset. I figure we could grab lunch and lounge at the Canterlot pool first; actually be vacation-y for once." "Well, that sounds logical." "Buuuuut ... I tried my swimsuit on earlier and with my new physique it ... doesn't fit any more. I figured I could wear your swimsuit and you could wear mine. It looks just your size, your ... new size, so it should work until your pregnancy starts showing." Shining rooted through luggage, "Where is it? Here? Oh, heavens!" Shining held the bikini up to the light. It was very pink. Hot pink. Furious, burning, boiling lava pink. He'd forgotten just how very pink it was. The look really worked on Cadence, but on himself ... "Maybe I won't wear a swimsuit after all." "Nonsense, it will accentuate your curves." "But this is Canterlot! My old soldiers are out there! What if they see me in this? They'll see me as a ... girl." "You are a girl. People have got to see you sometime, unless you were planning to hide the whole pregnancy?" "Well, no. Hmmm." "Besides, I get to play the big, tough boyfriend in your hot shorts. It will be just like we were teenagers, except reversed!" It SOUNDED logical. He told himself that the entire time he put the bikini on. Not that he wanted to wear it or anything. Nope. * * * "Check it out; I think it's, like, the Commander's sister. She looks just like him. Maybe they're twins?" "That's not how twins work, silly. ... Oh, wow, you're right! She does look exactly like him. It's gotta be her. What's her name? Daylight Sparkle? Something like that. He talked about her so much, but I never got a chance to see her in person before; oh wow, she's really hot! You know, if I'm his sister's boyfriend, I bet he could get me a promotion in record time!" "No way, I saw her first. SIR! Permission go begin another patrol!" "And what's got you two in such a hurry to go on patrol early? Give me those binoculars! Oh, I see ... I'm not sure that's such a good idea, fellas. First off, I don't think you'd be concentrating on security as much as trying to pick up girls, and you're already in trouble on that front. Second, and more importantly, I THINK that particular girl is really -" "Please, sir. It will ... help us focus." The Captain stopped. He then smiled a wicked smile, "Oh, I think it will be exactly what you two need to focus. Go have fun." * * * "You must be related to Celestia, because you're just as fine." What in Tartarus was this? Shining Armor looked up from his book. Two guards were standing, looming, on either side of the deck chair he was lounging in, spears almost crossed. It made him feel claustrophobic. "Um ... hello?" "You've got the purest skin, the flowing hair, I'll bet you've even been to heaven." Oh. Was he being ... picked up? At least it meant that they hadn't recognized him. He pitched up his voice to try to go with the ruse. It was ... disturbingly easy. The day wouldn't be too far away he wouldn't even need to do it deliberately; and probably Cadence would start sounding more like him. "I don't think this is appropriate. I'm ... er ... married," Shining said. "Is that, so? Well, you could always get some action on the side ... if you know what I mean." "... I'm obviously reading. Go away." "You telling me you don't want some of this?" "Oh, lay off her!" came a voice from a couple chairs over. "She's obviously not interested." She was a bright blue thing, wearing the splitting image of Cadence's ... or rather his... hot, boiling pink bikini. It looked good on her. He was starting to feel more confident in his own swimsuit. It must be in style or something; probably Twilight's friend Rarity had something to do with that. "You're not in uniform! You're not on duty!" said the troublesome guard. "Apparently, neither are you. I have today off, what's your excuse?" said the girl in the bikini. "My excuse is what are you going to do about it?" "Are you going to make me do something about it?" "Oh please, like that's a threat. Have you EVER beat me in a sparring match?" "Well, I'm not in heavy armor, so maybe I'll move faster." "Oh, did you want to spar right now? Come on; I'll spar right here! That's right. That's what I thought. You can't tell me what to do. You're not my commanding-" {WHAM!} THUD! CLUNK! "No. But I am." The guard opened his eyes. He stared straight up at the still-spinning image of his commander's face. Apparently the Friendship Express had materialized entirely within his head, and then it had run him over. He was laying down, spread-eagle, with all four hooves, head, and tail splayed out like a starfish. He hadn't even seen it coming. Eventually, the spinning stopped, and his commander's face materialized into ... oh no. oh yes. Cadence came running up, wearing Shining's swim trunks. Shining turned and said to her, "Tell me I was never that bad when I was a guy." "YOU weren't, but others ... were." The guard that was still standing said, "Welcome back to Canterlot, Sir! This is the best undercover work I've ever seen! Do you think he's learned his lesson, Sir?" Shining smiled, "No, I think there's another punishment that would suit him just fine." * * * "Welcome back from patrol, Soldiers, What the-? , why... why are you ... out of ... uniform?" "This is my new uniform from now on, Sir. Commander Shining Armor's orders." The guard saluted his superior in his "new" hot pink, hot burning, hot boiling lava, pink bikini.
4:What is the measure of a man?Celestia took the news rather well, all considering, "Oh, dear; I've heard of this from Queen Novo, but I've never actually ... is everything going to be okay with the pregnancy?" Shining Rolled his eyes while responding, "Twilight is going to send all of us a 'comprehensive, cross-indexed report, including original, first-hoof research, as well as a literature review of Seaponies' historical ideanyms.' I think that was what she said?" He turned to Cadence. "I think that's close enough." Luna said, "Yes, that rather does sound like Twilight Sparkle. Especially when it's to help ponies she's close to." Celestia continued, "Well, make yourselves comfortable while you're back in Canterlot. if you're feeling up to it, we'd rather thought you might come to a soirée we're having this evening. But given your current situation, I can understand if you might not want to attend." Shining turned to Cadence, "I'm up for it if you are. You could even wear that Tuxedo that Miss Rarity made you." "oh- well, I was..." Cadence said "Please?" "Only if you wear the dress she made you." "Um... well..." "I'll even help you with the 'eyeball wand'." "I don't suppose my armor would fit me any more anyway... Deal!" They clapped hooves in agreement, while Celestia and Luna looked on confusingly. * * * "So what's the deal with your uniform?" Spitfire asked a very strangely-dressed palace guard. "I know a guard's dress uniform is supposed to be formal dress, but you look like the Princess in 'Star Mares'. Did you lose a bet?" "It's ... my commander ... I tried to pick him ... her up, by accident. So now this is my uniform as long as he ... she says so." "What? Who is your commander?" "It was Prince ... Princess Shining armor ... he's a girl now. I don't know why. But I'm sure not going to ask." Spitfire looked into the active gala inside the palace ... "Reaaaaaaaly. Now this I've got to see. as you were, soldier." She stopped and turned as she walked past, grinning, "And it looks good on you." "Um... thank you, ma'am." * * * Cadence shook hooves, "Fancy Pants, well it's been ... fancy meeting you here. I don't think I've ever gotten to talk to you in person." "Pleasure to see you, my dear; however, I must away at the present. Urgent business needs attending to." He walked off to talk to a different group of fancy-looking ponies elsewhere. Shining came tottering over with two cups of punch, trying desperately not to spill any on his fine dress. "I don't get it ... why does the girl usually get the punch on dates, anyway? Can you still get it next time, even though ... you're the guy and all?" Cadence took one cup and knocked it back like a shot glass. "What I don't understand; whenever I really start talking to someone for any length of time, they leave." Shining Armor responded rather matter-of-factly, "Of course. You need to shop the room." "What?" "Kiss up. Make the sale. Schmooze. Gladhand. You're not getting to know people's life story; you're networking." "Like gossip?" "Sort of. Except it's not things that have already happened. It's things that might happen later. It's 'future gossip'." Cadence took Shining's other cup and knocked it back, as well, "I don't suppose they have anything stronger?" They were approached by an opportunistic Prince Blueblood, bringing with him his own two cups, "Well, sweetie, you look thirsty, and you should smile more! I bet you would look amazing." He said, hoofing one cup over. The cup which was intercepted by Cadence, "I wouldn't drink that if I were you." Prince Blueblood said unconvincingly, "Oh, are you two together? I didn't know." Blueblood started monitoring Shining Armor's face, more closely pulling in, "Have we met before? I don't remember such a fine, sweet thing like ..." Shining Armor deepened his voice until he could sound accordingly authoritative, "Can the flattery, Blueblood." That, at least, finally got Blueblood's attention, "No. No! Oh, my word, yes! My, how you've changed. What on Earth happened? Feeling like less of a stallion? So I suppose this is your lovely wife Cadence, or should I say lovely husband now?" "And yet you're still single." Cadence smiled. "And I swear... if you spiked my ... wife's drink I will report you to Auntie Celestia myself." He defended himself, "Hey now, nothing of the sort. And I had no idea he ... she was your wife's ... wife." he blinked, confused. Shining Armor decided to intercede, "We had a bit of a trouble earlier with some guards who wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. I think my wife ... husband is getting a bit ... jealous?" Cadence opened her mouth to say something, and then stopped. "My goodness, I think you're right, Shiny. Maybe it's the testosterone talking." * * * Spitfire couldn't believe it. Not only was Commander Prince Shining Armor now very princESS, but Princess Cadence was looking very princely. Well, there was only so much to observe from afar... "Well, it appears I'm not the only ball-busting female commander anymore." Shining Armor tried to whirl around in a military about-face, but apparently forgot he was wearing a dress, so instead he tripped on it and went crashing to the ground. "Are you okay?" Spitfire asked the lump of dress on the ground. "BLUGH!" Shining's head poked out of the lump, "I wasn't expecting to see anyone else I knew here! I wasn't exactly the high-society type before I married Cadence. Could I get some close air support?" Spitfire stifled a giggle with one hoof, before she and Cadence helped Shining back to his hooves, "What in Equestria happened to you? That must have been one heck of a spell accident! Or are you deciding to get more in touch with your feminine side?" "Well, I was angry when it first happened, but now it's becoming more of ... both, actually. Maybe it is the hormones, like what's happening to Cadence." Blueblood smirked at that, "So it's not just skin deep? Oh, this is rich! I guess you'll be less of a stallion for quite a while, then?" Cadence replied instead, to Spitfire "I keep feeling as if I'm about to deck Blueblood, but I think it's the testosterone talking." "No. I want to deck him all the time. I think it's his face talking." Blueblood continued, unperturbed, "So it looks like I'm the better stallion now. Let me know if you need anything heavy lifted. Any jars opened?" Spitfire got an inch from Blueblood's face, "He's ... she's ten times the stallion you could ever hope to be. And ten times the soldier!" "Oh, is she featherbrain? I'd ask you to take it outside, but I don't believe in fighting like a girl." "You're on, pointyhead!" Cadence tried to intervene, following after Shining and the other two as they ran off for the balcony, "Guys! Girls! Guy-girl!" * * * It was the end of the battle that was surprising. Not the fight's outcome; the fight's outcome was essentially preordained. One side had a well-trained battle commander in Spitfire. Blueblood's side had ... well ... Blueblood. Blueblood started with a swirling discus-style roundhouse punch, which Spitfire deftly dodged by flapping into the air slightly, casing Blueblood's punch's momentum to carry him over the railing, and causing him to throw himself over the side. But what was surprising was what came next. Shining Armor, the very one who was being fought over, grabbed at him at the last possible second and managed to secure Blueblood's left hind leg before being carried over himself. And there they hung, upside-down. Shining hanging from the handrail, giving the world a very good look under his dress, with one arm around Blueblood's leg, who was also upside-down, below Shining. "Please don't let go!" Prince Blueblood was actually ... crying. "I'm not about to." Prince Shining Armor promised. Spitfire continued her whirl around from the fight and came about parallel to them, "I didn't expect that would happen! I'm sorry. You okay?" "HELP! PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING! I Yield!" "Settle down!" Spitfire grabbed his other hind leg, "I've got you both. Let's get you landlubbers back to the ground side of the castle. ... Wow, Shining, you have changed all the way through." "Oh, quiet, you!" Shining blushed as Spitfire dragged them back over some bushes. They landed in a heap. Prince Blueblood looked up at Shining Armor as he regained his footing, "Why ... why did you save me?" "I ... wanted to be the better stallion." "I was wrong, then. You are the better stallion." They shook hooves. A flash of light foretold the sudden teleportary arrival of Celestia and Luna, in midair over them both. Luna spoke first, "Celly, has a single Gala of yours ever gone correctly since my return?" "There was that one that ... Hmm, well, no; that ended poorly, too. Hmm." Celestia continued unabashed, "But that would be boring. They would be so boring and... terribly boring otherwise! Something's got to spice them up!" Celestia turned and faced Shining Armor, "And I think someone's started along the path to alicornship. That was indeed brave of you, for reasons that have nothing to do with the battlefield. We'll keep an eye on you, ... princess." Celestia winked. Shining blushed again. "There are more trials, which I'm sure you'll pass in time." Blueblood pouted. "What about me? I said he was the better stallion!" "You ... still have a ways to go, but I suppose that is on on the right track." "Can you at least get us out of here and back to the Gala?" 'Princess' Shining Armor looked up at Celestia, "It would be faster." Celestia rolled her eyes, "Very well; we may shortcut through my cloud realm, but only-" and here her eyes became slits as she glared at Blueblood "If you touch NOTHING!" "Yes, ma'am. And sir, er, ma'am, or sir. * * * The guard burst in the door the next morning, "Princess! The Prince would like to see you." 'Princess' Shining Armor looked up from the report 'she' was reading. "Tell him I'll be right there." Shining met up with 'Prince' Cadence after a brisk jog, "What's going on?" "I just received a very ... strange request from Prince Blueblood. He wants me to turn him into a girl, as well. I think he thinks it will help him become an Alicorn princess. Which is silly. I'm a boy and I'm still an Alicorn. I'm not sure he's learned the right lesson, here." Cadence paused for a moment. "I'm tempted to say I'm going to change him just to embarrass him." Shining disagreed, "That would make us guilty of the same thing. You can't make fun of and hurt someone simply because the opportunity presents itself. It would do nothing positive. Leave it be." Cadence looked up at Shining, "I thought you'd answer that way. You are becoming more like a princess ... in more ways than one."
5:"What a piece of work is man"But Shining HATED shopping, didn't he? "Does this mean I enjoy shopping now?" Cadence looked surprised, "I kinda hope not. That would mean I would start to not enjoy shopping, and I'm still having fun. I do like being the one carrying things, though. Maybe because I'm getting more upper body strength. Hyah! Huh! Hulk smash!" Cadence karate chopped a pony mannequin, which didn't respond to being karated in any way. Shining laughed. "Please don't smash the store. Actually, I think the carrying urge an instinct, too. You want to provide for the family; it manifests in you wanting to carry their things, to be the pack's pack-rat. It makes you useful." He paused. "Is that why there's the getting the things to carry, Cady?" Cadence thought for a moment, "I think it's like harvest. You have to wait until the fruit is ripe, you wait and wait, and then there's a big sale and BAM! It's ready! Pants harvest; it's pants season. Let's harvest some pants! Ooh! And harvest some socks, too!" They were shopping in Canterlot while waiting for Twilight to finish her report. Likely it was already finished, and they were really waiting on her to triple-check her report. But it was a fun interlude, anyway, especially when Shining had to tell Cadence to stop "socks-bucking" the "harvest" of socks on display. "What do you do for guy's night out? We should try that, too." Cadence laughed, "before you forget how, or something." "I never really learned in the first place. Mostly we stayed at home and played Ogres and Oubliettes." He perked up, 'we could do that!" "Hmm ... maybe." "But first, I need pickles." * * * "Hayburger with extra extra extra extra pickles" Shining ordered. "Usually you get extra burgers from the food court. Or corndogs. Ooh, maybe I should get a corndog now. Get your boyfriend his corndog!" Cadence playfully jostled Shining Armor. "I'll be Shining Armor today." Dutifully received, she took a cautious bite of her corndog. "Oh wow, this is delicious! Why is this suddenly so delicious? All of a sudden, this is better than pizza!" "I'm sure Twilight would be able to explain ... speaking of ... " Shining trailed off as a scroll materialized on his horn. Cadence snatched it, having already gulped down her entire corndog, and so had her hooves free. "It's from Twilight. She says she finished her report, but is too large to send by dragon-fire mail. She's going to take the train up with paper copies." Another scroll appeared and went the same way, "This one's from Auntie Celestia. She wants us and Twilight to meet her at the palace after the train arrives, which .. hmm will be a few hours from now. Which means we have time ..." Cadence turned back to the Hayburger clerk, both front hooves on the counter "I shall require many corndog. I think ten; ten corndog." "With extra pickles." * * * "Oh yes," Twilight answered. "Guys and girls do taste things slightly differently. The different metabolisms require ... OH NO! I left it out of my report!" the dictionary-sized tomes gliding over suddenly stopped, hung in mid air, caught in Twilight's purple glow, as she fished a quill out of her saddlebags to start writing addenda to them. Shining stretched out a hoof, standing tippy-toe trying to reach the midair volume closest to him, "I'm sure it's okay. You can simply tell us." He finally grasped it. Celestia simply teleported her volume into her lap with a flash. She lay back on her throne and perused it. Cadence flew into the air and snatched hers in a twirl that would have made Spitfire proud. Twilight looked up, and started her presentation as if nothing had happened "As you can see .. both seaponies and hippogriffs lay eggs. Their culture is therefore less gender-aligned for caregiving. NORMALLY male gestation isn't therefore a problem, as the egg would transform along with everything else, and hatch normally. In this case, though, the spell ran into some issues. If you're interested in the technical details, I will discuss those next." Twilight continued, "The logic pathing entered the spell matrix failsafe, which NORMALLY isn't a problem, and is used when transforming people around clothes, jewelry, or needing to displace nearby objects or oneself in a teleport, so you don't teleport inside of a wall or something. Since Cadence's 'female' pattern could account for pregnancy, and Shining Armor's 'male' pattern could not, when the patterns were then checked for the most optimal placement strategy, these two, and only these two patterns, were swapped during the transform, and slowly for a period after until the swap was complete. This logic pathway allowed for the spell to exit successfully." Cadence raised one hoof, "Can we have the version for those who DIDN'T go to a school for magically gifted unicorns?" Twilight's 'lecture mode' stumbled a bit, "If they'd transformed into "land ponies" one at a time, likely the spell would have simply failed to go off, as it wasn't possible for Shining to do safely, and we'd have had to figure out why from there. Since they DID transform together, however, the spell saw a way to complete the transform as it is supposed to; try to "make do" with the 'obvious' solution of swapping their genders around. This way, the spell could finish its job. Shining asked, "What about the actual pregnancy?" "If not by now, then soon, it will be if Shiny has always been a girl and Cadence has always been a boy, so the rest of the pregnancy should go fairly normally. Also, Cadence should 'bulk up' as the testosterone takes hold. Sunburst has volunteered to collect more data on both of these points when you return to the Crystal Empire." Celestia mused, rubbing her cheek with one hoof, "Well, I suspect Sunburst will enjoy studying this in correspondence with Twilight, but I wonder how the rest of the Crystal Empire will react to this news. We should prepare a statement." She smiled down at Twilight, "Preferably one that's shorter than your wonderful report." Shining interrupted, 'I'm wondering if we can't get some more food first? I'm suddenly really hungry. Can we get the guard to tell the chef to make some food? Preferably something with lots of pickles." Twilight added hopefully, "Like hayburgers?" Cadence was next, "And some corndogs. And pizza." "And cake."
6:What is love?"Is this Shining or Cadence?" Sunburst's giant head peered confusingly into the room. "Either this spell is progressing faster than expected, or there's something wrong with this communication crystal. Or -- oh! It's both of you. So the spell hit so quickly, Shining? You already sound like a girl." "Well, I kinda ... am?" Shining armor nervously rubbed the back of his (her?) neck with one hoof, while Celestia tittered in the background. "That's part of what we want to talk to you about." Sunburst grinned, "So I guess you're not poorly qualified changelings?" Cadence smiled, "I don't think changelings this naive would be able to make their way into Auntie's crystal communication room. How is Flurry Heart doing?" "She's fine, if I can get her to stop trying to eat the communication crystal. Look, see? It's Mommy and Daddy. Or Daddy and Mommy. You won't be able to see them if you won't let go of the ..." Sunburst's giant head was now upside down and shaking side to side. "Give me back ... wait ... there. She's a hoof-full sometimes." Cadence grinned through he commotion on-screen, "We'll try to make it as short as possible, Sunburst." Celestia said quietly to Shining Armor in the background, "I do like his name. Sunburst." Flurry Heart got a turn being the giant head in the room, "Ma Da fun!" Shining, who was used to barking orders under less-than-ideal circumstances, took command, saying in a rush, "We're sending a statement, so the Crystal Empire knows what to expect. If there's any problems, you can send a message to Twilight, and have her send a report directly to us. Speaking of ... are you okay there?" Shining's voice at the end regained her feminine lilt. Sunburst's crystal-projected head regained normality, "No, it's okay. This is a normal day around here, as you know. Don't hurry on my account; doing fine. I'll look forward to seeing everything! Take care and -" The image ended prematurely, leaving them all in an unexpected silence. "Should we call him back?" Celestia asked. Shining answered, "No, as Sunburst said, that's .. pretty normal around Flurry. He can handle it. Let's eat." * * * "I've heard of eating for two... now that I think of it, are you sure you're not eating for more?" Cadence asked Shining, who was on his fifth pickle-burger. Now sixth. "You saw the scans yourself. I guess pickles aren't very calorific? I dunno. Maybe it has to do with me turning into a girl?" he stopped for a second, "Wait! Are you saying I'm gonna get fat?" his eyes started tearing up. "Oh, Goodness, no! You're every bit the firm recruit I married. No pregnancy or genderswap will change that! Don't get upset! I shouldn't have mentioned it. I was just thinking about the Hippogriffs' clutch of eggs." Cadence patted Shining on the back, who looked down at his now-empty plate. "I'm not hungry anymore." Shining got up in one leap, and stalked out of the room. "I remember this when I was pregnant," Cadence muttered, as she trotted after. * * * "I know it's only the hormones talking, but ... it still hurts." Shining was blubbering, while lying on the bed, in the arms of Cadence, who was gently petting him. "I know how you feel. Remember when I was about to pop and you were right here where I am? For me?" Cadence continued to pet Shining's now much-longer hair. Shining stopped crying, paused a moment, and smiled, finally at last saying "yeah." he continued, "I remember that." "That's what love is. We're here for each other. It doesn't matter what the challenge is; if you're pregnant or I am. Or what gender we are. Or even if you somehow swell up into a zeppelin the size of all of Canterlot, I'll still love you. That's the one thing that can't be transformed. So always keep that in mind." "That's ... kind of what I said to you, then. I forget exactly." "I think husbands have said that to wives since the founding of Equestria," Cadence leaned down and kissed her horn, "so you know it's true." Shining Armor stood up on all fours, "I am feeling better now. Okay, 'husband', let's go finish that statement! ... And the food!"
7:What is this?Sunburst took Shining Armor's scarf as (s)he walked in the door, before Flurry could finish reaching for it, Flurry Heart being perched on Sunburst's head. "When you first told me Shining was turning into a princess, I'd thought he was getting wings. Flurry, let go of that. It's Daddy's or ... Mommy's?" Flurry looked up at the fully femaled Shining Armor, and the colorful scarf, and immediately started crying. Shining took Flurry from the frazzle-haired Sunburst, "There, there. You don't want that. Dadd- Mommy's scarf is all wet and muddy and icky. We'll get you something warm to play with." Shining looked up at Sunburst, "At least she let go of the scarf." "Daddy Mommy?" Flurry abruptly stopped crying. "Yes, Flurry, I am a Mommy for now. But don't worry, I'm still here for you, as always." Cadence eventually trailed in. He was carrying way too many packages in both front hooves, walked only on the back ones. Shining took some of the weight off of the about-to-topple pile of parcels in her magic, "Let me get those for you dear. Or are you just trying to show off?" she smiled. "I like showing off! I be big manly man, now." He said in his now-deeper voice. "Don't tell me you didn't like showing off that hot bikini in exactly the same way." "I suppose. Now I'm wishing I'd kept it." "If you ever finally tell the guard he can stop wearing it, perhaps he can send it back." "Mommy Daddy?" "Yes, Flurry, I'm going to be your Daddy for a while, but don't worry, we still love you just the same." Flurry reached out both front hooves, "Mommy Daddy! Mommy Daddy!" Cadence took Flurry from Shining, "I think she's trying to figure this whole thing out for herself." "Well, that makes two of us." * * * "Where? Aha!" Cadence sat down heavily in the throne-like chair in front of the fireplace, "Finally! I can't believe I almost got lost in my own castle. How does that even happen?" Sunburst held out the bottle, taking back Flurry, "Different navigation heuristics. Mares follow intersecting paths. Stallions use point-to-point. There are therefore different mental maps developed for the same location, which are incompatible. It was in Twilight's report? Didn't you read it?" "Not as deeply as apparently you did. It beat us here, then?" "Celestia sent it here Pegasus Express. The mailmare apparently got it here in record time, but had trouble finding the castle, somehow. She wound up in my lab, updaide-down. But this is FASCINATING reading! Spell theory, biology, cultural dynamics, it's got everything. I've been reading it whenever Flurry goes to sleep." "On that note, would you mind staying a little longer with her? Shiny promised me an Ogres and Oubliettes game during Guy's Night. I want to see what all the fuss is about." "No problem! I'm about to put her to bed, anyway. We wanted to stay up to see you. I can catch a few more chapters after that." "Ok, don't hurt yourself reading. And feel free to join us when she's asleep." "Have fun storming the castle!" * * * "Shiny is playing a girl character? Mister 'I never play a girl character' himself?" Spike took up most of the screen of the viewing crystal, being in front, but Big Mac was barely visible behind him. "Well, I am a girl, now." Cadence and Shining took up opposite chairs at the table in front of the screen, giving the illusion that the table simply continued through the screen into Twilight's castle, where Twilight and Spike sat. But this was only an illusion; the crystal screen transmitted images and sounds, but not objects. "I'm playing a guy character for the same reason. Now go easy on me, I haven't been a guy very long. I'm a bit new to the whole 'Guy's Night' thing. Sunburst may or may not be joining us, later." "Or right now" Sunburst pulled up another chair to the head of the table on Shining and Cadence's side." She went right to sleep. Let's get this thing started!"
