Hentai Horse in Magical Pony Land

Chapter 7: Steel Master of Tickets
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“You did what??”

[Reluctance]
[Explanation]
[Justification]

Okay, I can’t really blame him. After all Luna and I had only just met and well… [CPU] has never encountered somepony that could access our shared mindscape. So I understand why he reacted as he did, doesn’t mean I approve of it though. I’m going to have to apologize the next time I see her, or perhaps even tonight if she visits again.

“First of all you’re going to apologize to her. While I find the thought unnerving as well you still shouldn’t have booted her so violently. If she wasn’t an alicorn she might’ve been severely injured.”

[Grumble]
[Sigh]
[Agreement]

I nodded as I headed out and towards town, Pinkie had somehow delivered a request for some repair work while I was asleep. Apparently their ovens were having difficulty and the Cakes wanted to know if they could be repaired or if they would have to replace them entirely. Personally I hoped I could fix them, as I knew it had to be hard raising two foals and dealing with Pinkie.

“Well to change the subject. I’ve been reviewing some history and I’ve realized I’ve been approaching the problem in a decidedly human manner.”

[Curious]
[Query]

“I had been trying to figure out how to use magic like a unicorn and neglected how Earth ponies use magic. While not as flashy they do use magic to tend the land and so on. They also use it in their crafts, Earth pony artificers were extremely respected even before the Unification. And there was nothing more terrifying than an Earth pony on the warpath.”

Seriously, pre-Unification Earth ponies were a force to be reckoned with. There were accounts of Earth ponies weaponizing the very land and nature itself; Geomancers, Druids, Ritualists, and so on. There were even Mad Scientists types as well.

I’d been focusing on using magic like a unicorn. I was missing the obvious. And to be fair I had been being decidedly Earth ponyish what with my mass reduction harness and so on, so why don’t I double down on it? I’ll shift my research into increasing my connectivity to my mana-core allowing magic to circulate throughout my entire body and not just collect within the core itself.

[Interest]
[Curious]
[Excitement]

“Heh, thought you’d like that.” After all [CPU] was all about learning and experimenting, so he’s pretty easy to please honestly.

Forking my mind so I could exchange data via binary with [CPU] I looked up at Sugarcube Corner, the aesthetics of the building still surprised me. I also kept in mind to offer to repair the very obvious bite marks on the side of the building. They were simply too big to be from foals so… probably Pinkie.

Or maybe Berry Punch when she’s particularly sloshed. It could be either realistically.

Shaking my head I entered and without missing a beat caught a speeding Pinkie before setting her down. She pouted at me for interrupting her tackle but I easily ignored it, it certainly wouldn’t have been the first time. Though the first time they both, somehow I still can’t figure out how it happened, in a very compromising position.

Mr and Mrs Cake teased us for weeks afterwards.

“So what’s the problem?” I asked trying, and failing, to sound professional.

But then again I’d love to see somepony keep up a professional facade while Pinkie Pie’s looking up at me with those pretty blue eyes. I swear if they started to water I was going to snatch the mare up and start petting her floof damnit!

“Well turns out all that all the ovens needed was to have their Heat crystal swapped out with a fresh one.” Pinkie said, “Though if you don’t mind could you check for any damaged supports in the walls? Two Earth ponies got into a fight a couple days ago and did some damage.”

I… really wanted to say who the hell would get into a fight in a bakery but I stopped myself. Even after spending six months acclimatizing to pony culture I still find some behaviour confusing. I mean seriously they all acted so human at times (the good and bad aspects of humankind) it just wound up making my head hurt.

Though [CPU] loved those deeply introspective and theological thoughts.

The bastard…

[Smug]

Shut up…

“Sure no problem Pinks.” I said with a smile, “Though I hope you gave those two idiots a good thumping.”

“Yeppers! I showed those two that this little pony isn’t just a pretty face!~” Pinkie said proudly.

I just snorted, those two obviously must’ve been new then. I mean their ignorance can easily be forgiven but yeah. This pretty face grew up on a rock farm and bucked boulders for fun! To just deem her a pretty face is the thoughts of a shallow and possibly terminally ignorant fool. I for one am glad that Pinkie showed them the errors of their ways.

[Snark]

Shut up! I can be melodramatic if I damn well want!

[😛]

Did… that’s the first time [CPU] emoted at me.

Huh… well I should get to work but first…

“Say Pinks? You know what everyponies talking about?” I asked, “I think I heard talk of tickets?”

“Oh! Twi got some tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala!” Pinkie explained, “Everypony is super excited cause she has one other ticket for an extra!”

“Hmm, well it’s none of my business.” I said, “Well I should get to work.”

“Okay Doki Loki!” Pinkie said, “And it will!~”

“Wait. What?” I looked back and… Pinkie was gone.

Oh course…

[Query]

“Don’t. You know what happens wherever you try to logic her! I had to have my entire neck and head resurfaced after the emergency venting boiled off everything above my shoulders!”

[Sheepish]
[Apology]
[Reluctance]

“I know and I certainly don’t hold it against you. But let’s… try to figure out how to make our cooling systems stupidly robust before trying that again okay?”

[Agreement]
[Speculation]

I just chuckled faintly before I got to work.

The job didn’t take that long honestly, most of the damage was cosmetic, but it never hurts to check. Especially if Pinkie is throwing idiots around as the mare couldn’t control her strength nearly as well as myself.

The Cakes were grateful and gave me my fee as well as a basket with a fresh dozen assorted small cakes. I thank them before leaving with my pay and bounty of baked treats.

Though I was stopped in the middle of the street by a very harried looking Twilight.

“Hide me! Please!!” She begged.

I blinked owlishly but nodded, “Sure I guess… we’ll go to my place and you can explain why you look so stressed.”

Twilight just nodded and we made our way out of town.

I closed my door and turned to Twilight, sitting my basket of baked goods on a side table.

“Okay, now why are you so stressed?” I asked tilting my head momentarily entertaining the thought of teasing her but decided not to.

Twilight proceeded to hit me with liberal amounts of verbal diarrhea. But the gist of it was the girls (sans Pinkie oddly enough) were getting pushy and wanted to be Twilight’s extra. I listened as she vented with a patient ear as I led her into my sitting room and sat her down.

“Okay you can hide here for awhile. Pinkie will have the girls gather at the library and we’ll both go and I’ll keep things calm.” Twilight looked puzzled for a moment, “Don’t bother trying to logic Pinkie. I try not to think too hard about what she does. Now you sit here and I’ll get you something to drink, I hope you don’t mind Rosebud tea.”

“Oh! That would be wonderful, thank you.” Twilight said as she slowly relaxed.

<<>>

Twilight didn’t have a good opinion of Steel, sure he’s polite and helpful but he was so terribly rude to the Princesses! The fact that the Princesses actually enjoyed his personality just boggled her mind (and she might’ve had a tinsy nervous breakdown in private) but saying that Steel also showed Twilight something she never actually thought or ever considered.

The Princesses were ponies too. For all their power they were still fundamentally mortal in mind if nowhere else.

Seeing the two sisters snipe at each other with amusement and laughter in their eyes awed Twilight, and it reminded her of her own playful spats with her overprotective sister! She fondly recalled their arguments that would have her foalsitter and Gleaming’s marefriend Cadence rolling on the floor laughing histarically.

Granted after Cadence recovered she would give both sisters a tongue lashing. Twilight for her vulgar language and at Gleaming for teaching Twilight such vulgar language.

“... Candy must never know I learned most of that from Princess Celestia’s personal guard…”

Who, after her recent realizations, probably learned them from Princess Celestia. And isn’t that a mindbuck? The motherly, gentle, and kind Princess Celestia. But when she let’s her mane down she’s crass, crude, vulgar, and extremely trollish.

“Wait. No, her trolling is well known.” Shaking her head Twilight looked around, “I wonder if Steel has ever invited anypony in before?” She wouldn’t deny… the thought of being the first in Steel’s home made her feel giddy for some reason.

Honestly Twilight really wanted to explore and look around, and eventually her curiosity got the better of her as she set off to look around. After all her sister had always said, usually after doing something stupid and getting in trouble with their parents, that it’s easier to beg for forgiveness then to ask for permission.

<<>>

“Having fun Twilight?” I asked dryly.

The mare looked up surprised looking like she got caught with her hoof in the cookie jar. I leaned in and saw she was reading some schematics for some prosthetics, really just some busy work really not sure if the hospital would go for it or not, and I sat her tea on the table.

“Don’t worry.” I said cutting her off, “Honestly I expected it really. So thoughts?”

“Are you an artificer? These are incredible!” Twilight exclaimed, “Do you have any idea how much these could help the disabled!?”

“Yeah. Though I didn’t think they’d be accepted given how slow ponies are to accept new things.” Twilight looked at me like I was stupid.

“The traditionalists would kick up a snit but honestly they can bitch and moan all they want.” Twilight said, “Princess Celestia demands the best care for the disabled and crippled, and if the traditionalists want to have these removed they can take it up with her!”

I… admittedly never really considered that. Yeah, I derped that pretty hard honestly.

“Huh, perhaps you could arrange something then.” I tilted my head, “... Why are you looking at me like that?”

Why does she smell aroused?

She didn’t answer but she did throw herself at me and kissed me!

I suppose she finds brains sexy or something!

“Okay. Twilight explained the situation to me and I’m kinda disappointed.” I said sternly, “Other than PInkie you all pestered Twilight until she had to hide in my house to pull herself together!”

And nothing else happened… Twilight and I didn’t wind up making out or anything! And I didn’t find out she tasted like lavender or that she had such a filthy vocabulary (seriously I actually took notes)!

[Deadpan]

No, I’m not in denial! And shoosh! I’m being responsible and reasonable!

The mares all looked rather ashamed, though Rainbow looked like she was about to challenge me before I gave her a harder glare which caused her to back down.

“Now then. Rares.” I said looking at the abashed fashionista, “Can you explain to me what this Gala is all about?”

“Yes darling.” I did not just smell arousal again, “The Grand Galloping Gala, or GGG for short, is the largest social event of the years. The creme de la creme of society come together to socialize. As such tickets are exceptionally rare to get a hold of and well… I believe we all lost our heads. I’m so sorry Twilight darling, I just got so excited…” She said her ears folded back.

The others voiced their own apologies before they all did a group hug with me watching with a small smile.

“Now. I have a solution for all of this.” I said, “Twilight? Can’t you just ask Celestia to send some tickets for your friends?”

… While I won’t say the resulting facehoof was sexually gratifying, but goddamn that felt so good…

<<<3rd Pony Perceptive>>>

“But… I don’t wanna deal with snooty nobles!!”

Everypony in town look towards the library where the cry came from before they all shrugged collectively and resumed whatever they were doing.