Hentai Horse in Magical Pony Land

The first thing I needed to do was to make sure all the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration were in order and to do it quickly. Afterwards, I will go to the library and see what more I can look up anything on the Elements of Harmony. Making friends is tertiary to ensuring the celebration of the Princess and saving all of Equestria. Not that I needed friends anyway.

I had Princess Celestia, Cadence, my parents, my sister, and Spike. That was more than enough interpersonal connections to provide both a social safety net and casual conversation. I didn’t need anypony else! ‘I just wish the Princess understood that!’

Though admittedly, I did sort of feel bad for not going to Moondancer’s birthday party.

Sitting across from me was my assistant/adopted brother/quasi-son Spike, a baby dragon with purple and green scales. He was currently engrossed in the latest issue of some comic. I wasn’t paying attention to what it was, I had a lot of important things on my mind.

Since we had a bit of time before we arrived in Ponyville, I dug into my saddlebags for a book on Equestrian legends. Maybe I missed something that could give me a hint to defeating Nightmare Moon.

“Okay. So what’s first on the agenda?”

Spike unfurled a checklist and looked over it for a few moments while riding on my back.

“First we’re going to Sweet Apple Acres to check to make sure the catering is in order.” Spike said, licking his lips faintly, which earned him an eye roll.

“Okay. Now… how do we get there?” I pondered to myself.

With no better options, I looked around for some ponies to ask for directions. Thankfully, there was a pair talking nearby, a stallion and mare.

“Sorry Mr. Cavalry, your order from Appaloosa hasn’t arrived yet.” The mare said apologetically.

“It’s fine Miss Doo, probably foolish to expect it so soon.” The giant of a stallion rumbled with a surprisingly deep voice, “How has little Dinky been? I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“Oh, my little muffin is a little angel. Sparkler is foalsitting for me while I work.” Ms. Doo was a rather cute gray pegasus with a case of strabismus that somehow made her even cuter. Her easy smile lent her an air of approachability.

“You know I could watch Dinky. I know Sparkler is a busy mare herself.” The stallion offered with a smile of his own.

“It’s fine Mr. Fixit.” Ms. Doo cheekily retorted, “Now I gotta get back to work! Bye!~” She added before giving the stallion a nuzzle and flying off.

“Damn touchy-feely ponies…” The stallion muttered. Though he was not truly upset.

I completely understood that sentiment. I’m not comfortable with ponies in my personal space. However, given how friendly those two seemed, and his lack of offense, I suspect that was not an actual complaint.

“Hey, perhaps we could ask him for help!” Spike exclaimed, having the same thought as me and drawing the stallions' attention.

Mr. Calvary, as I assume his name was, tilted his head and approached, and oh, wow... He’s a lot bigger than I had first thought. His coat was a soot gray and possessed a natural ruffled look that suited him, and his mane and tail were black with streaks of gray peppered throughout. As he got closer I noticed odd marks all over his face and couldn’t figure out if they were natural or not.

“You two need some help?” he asked in a very pleasant bass, “Oh, allow me to introduce myself. Steel Cavalry, local Mr. Fixit.”

“Oh. Um, I’m Twilight Sparkle.” I was trying to get my hooves back under me. I was not accustomed to interacting with a stallion of this stature, especially a helpful one with manners. “And this is Spike. We’re here to make sure the Summer Sun Celebration is running smoothly.”

“Hmm? Well, an important guest then!” Steel said with some amusement, “Never understood the fuss myself but whatever. Where do you need to go first?”

‘Wait, what!’ It was all I could do to keep my shock in check. ‘The Summer Sun Celebration, our chance to celebrate Princess Celestia herself, not to mention this being the millennial celebration of her peaceful and prosperous rule at that, and he “doesn’t understand the fuss”!’ I had to shake off the need to educate this giant brute. But back to the point, I had a list of priorities, and correcting the ignorance of the populace was not on it.

“Sweet Apple Acres, if you wouldn’t mind.” I said.

“Huh, food I suppose. Well if you’re having the Apples cater you’re in good hooves.” Steel said, “Sure I’ll show you the way, I need to see if they need any help anyway.”

I nodded and was all set to politely follow Steel, but that proved entirely unviable. I quickly trotted up to walk beside him instead, trying in vain to get the image of his testes out of my head. They were large enough to show even when Steel’s tail was politely down! Perfectly smooth and symmetrical, just peeking around that salt and pepper tail...

If Steel noticed he didn’t comment, but then again why would he? Such an indication of virility is a great mark of pride among stallions. And he is no doubt accustomed to mares admiring his assets.

Spike, however, knew me better and got a telekinetic dope slap for his snicker.

Sweet Apple Acres was a very impressive apple farm. No, it was beyond impressive. It was immense and well maintained. There was nothing but bright green leaves and intensely red apples as far as the eye could see. I couldn’t enjoy the scenery much, with Steel Calvary amused by my reaction. It was somewhat embarrassing to be caught staring like a tourist.

“The Apples were one of the founding families and have worked this land since day one.” Steel explained, “And the land has been very good to them.”

“I see,” I said. “It’s a very impressive plantation. Do you know if it is family operated, or do they hire others to help?”

“It’s family-owned and operated.” Steel answered, “Though they’ll never turn down a helping hoof and they’ll always pay you for your troubles. They were certainly kind to me when I first moved in. Now I mostly just do repairs and help during large harvests if they ask.”

I nodded as Steel led us towards a large homestead. As we got closer, but still much farther than I would have considered hearing distance, he pulled in a deep breath.

“Oi Jack! Got a mare here to check on catering!” He called, with a slight country accent that was decidedly missing from his previous conversation, “Get your flank over here!”

“Oh, you shush up Mister!” An orange freckled mare with a notched stetson retorted as she trotted over. “Howdy there! I reckon yer here about the catering like the big lug said?”

Steel just snorted before trotting off towards a rather large red stallion, almost as large as Steel himself. I might have watched him walk away an extra few seconds. Thankfully, I wasn’t called out on it.

“Yes. I’m Twilight Sparkle,” I said, “I’m here to make sure the catering is satisfactor- are… those two wrestling?”

“Oh, that’s just those two being overgrown foals.” The mare said, rolling her eyes as Steel and his companion rolled around, “Big Mac was the strongest pony in Ponyville till Steel showed up. Not sure when they got started with this goofin around. Well, the big lug went and made me forget my manners. I’m Applejack! Pleasure ta met ya partner!” This was said with an offered hoof, that quickly became a very, very energetic shake.

With introductions completed, I was given a quick tour of the preparations. I did interrupt Applejack’s tour before I was taken through the entire farm though. “Well, I see that you have everything under control, and I need to go. There’s a great deal I need to make sure is in order.”

I had turned to leave but was quickly halted by a most uncomfortable yank on my dock. I looked over my shoulder to see that Applejack had grabbed my tail. With her teeth. My tail was in her mouth. ‘I... I, what? Is this a thing here!?’

“Nothin’ doing their partner,” Applejack said after dropping my tail as if this is a common occurrence. “Y'all can’t just come to Sweet Apple Acres without tryin’ the vittles now.”

“Don’t try to argue.” Steel recommended from behind the apple farmer, “Apples are extremely stubborn, and when they set their minds to something they rarely change it.”

“Yer just hankering for mah famous apple pie!” Applejack retorted eyeing him.

“Guilty as charged.” Steel said, “I would love some of your pie. Give me half a chance and I’ll lick the tin clean.”

I had never been quite so glad that Spike was too young to understand innuendo. Or perhaps he’s just being oblivious? Dracon maturation is weird. But he didn’t catch it and judging from Applejack’s blush and how my face felt on fire, everypony else did.

“So! Okay. Food.” I’m not sure if these two have a relationship, but I was not comfortable in the middle of it. “Lead the way Applejack!”

Steel just snickered as we all headed inside the homestead.

I watched as a pleasantly stuffed (Giggity) Twilight slowly trotted off with a near-comatose dragon on her back. I had been surprised to see her. I hadn’t been keeping track of time, so the beginning of the “canon storyline” had snuck up on me. It had left me rather at a loss.

I could just leave her alone to do her thing and the day would be saved regardless. I could stay in town to try and keep order. Though realistically, I suspected that wasn’t an option due to my very presence changing things. Butterfly Effect is a bitch to deal with.

So, I think I might have to keep Moonie occupied to let the mares get the Elements. Then they could hit her with the Rainbow Laser of Friendship to exorcise the Nightmare spirit from Luna.

“You know what this means bud.”

[Understanding]
[Worry]

“I know bud. I know. But I might have to keep Moonie occupied. Just make sure the Beacon is ready okay? And possibly have the Auto-Doc or Rejuvenation Chamber prepped and ready depending on how messed up I get. If the worst happens, have one of the Androids dump my Core into a New-Life Tub.”

[Alarm]

“I don’t like it either but it’s possible. I’m about to throw myself at an Alicorn. And no matter how weakened she is from a thousand years banishment she’s still a powerful entity. I might have to lower my [Restrictions] to keep up.”

[Query]

“I don’t care! Better to overestimate than to underestimate an opponent. She might be weakened, but Moonie still has access to Luna’s experience. She was considered the Warrior Goddess, and it was probably for a reason.”

Deciding that arguing with my CPU was a waste of time, I decided to head home. I needed to finish the construction of the generator that will finally allow my shop to fully activate. And I also needed to prep the Auto-Doc, the Rejuvenation chamber, and a New-Life tub. Though I hoped I wouldn’t need the tub.

I had no desire to experience childhood, er foalhood again.

Although if I did have to grow up again my dick would probably be more manageable… no. Never mind!

Shaking my head, I made my way home. I’d probably get my androids to get me off, wouldn’t want to pop a boner in front of Moonie after all!

… Though that alone could lead to some amusement… and I could check “Cockslap a Goddess” off my bucket list… hmm…

[Exasperation]