Hentai Horse in Magical Pony Land

I was at a party that I had no desire to attend. And I couldn’t even leave, because it was being held in the same building I was staying at.

“So…,” With every attempt to do something useful thwarted, I figured I could try to learn something about one of the locals, “I’m curious about Steel.”

Applejack had decided to keep me company for some reason, and was who I had asked; but another pony rudely inserted herself into the conversation to answer.

“He’s an oddball. That stallion may have a heart of gold, but he sure is bizarre,” The mare said between drinks of punch. “Showed up about six months back, homeless and without a bit to his name. He actually started working for Applejack here about… oh, two months after that. Eventually bought that dump of a cottage not far from Shy’s place. Fixed it up pretty good too.”

Thankfully, Applejack gave us some introductions while I pondered that informative, but unsatisfying bit of information. “Twilight, this here is Berry Punch. She’s the local bartender, and some of us think she might sample her own drinks a bit more than is proper.”

Berry Punch threw back her head and laughed at that. “How do you think I got my job!”

“Berry,” Applejack continued, “This here is Twilight Sparkle. She’s here to supervise the celebration.”

“Nice to meet ya. Say, I heard from my sister that he’s got a willy that could knock you out! It’s like a club!” Berry said with a wink and a nudge. A literal wink as she actually nudged me with her elbow. I did not know that was an actual thing, and not just a saying.

“So, she’s his marefriend?” I wasn’t really sure how to handle this conversation, but Applejack seemed happy to listen in.

“Hah! No, Berry Drink’s an escort. Steel hired her a while back, but even she wouldn’t let that monster of a member inside of her. Of course, she managed to appease the beast with other tricks. My sister’s a talented mare, after all,” she added with a snicker.

“Okay, I know I wanted more information, but this is way too much! I mean, I would expect a professional to be able to estimate a pony’s endowment from a distance, and if it weren’t for his cutie mark, I would have guessed Steel was a Saddle Arabian, and given his stature and genetic probability it’s likely that at least three fourths of his ancestry is from the Shire breed, which are known for their exceptional size, I mean, “hung like a horse” specifically refers to them, and those comments sound as if he is disproportionately endowed even beyond that!’

Applejack looked far too interested in the direction this conversation was going.

“While that’s… informative,” I said, trying to find a way to redirect Berry. “But that’s not exactly what I was curious about.”

“Oh! You mean like… how he acts all weird and stuff?” she asked, “In that case, you’re better off asking Derpy. Or maybe Time Turner or Big Mac. They all know him a lot better.”

“Derpy?” I asked.

“She’s a very sweet mare. You can’t miss her.” Berry Punch said before she stumbled off.

‘A sweet mare. Wonderful description to find someone with. Well, on that exceptionally useful note, I had best get back on track.’

“Well… excuse me Applejack,” I said with a smile which was only slightly forced, “I’ve got some research to get to.”

“Alright then, you have fun! And don’t worry too much about asking about Steel, he’s a popular topic of conversatin’ around here.” Applejack said, slightly red in the face as she got some more punch.

An earth pony with a rather nice suit and well tended mane was busy pontificating in front of the history section. ‘I swear this pony would fit right in if he were dropped in the Rose Quarter.

“You know that Steel stallion? Nice enough boy. Amazing with foals and doesn’t take himself too seriously. Or life in general really.” he muttered that last part for some reason, “Though he is somewhat standoffish. Not rude mind you, he just… really likes his personal space. And we mustn’t forget just how Alpha Mare he gets when provoked.”

“Alpha Mare?” I asked, “Can you… expand on that Mr. Rich?” I was getting drawn into this conversation in spite of myself.

“A local mare tried to force him into her herd. She got bucked hard enough to fly through two buildings for her trouble. I heard she had to spend more than a week in the hospital.”

“Oh my! Did he get in trouble?” I asked.

“Oh yes. Fines and jail time… he was in jail until little miss hooligan recovered.,” Mr. Rich said. “But he never once apologized.. He just accepted his punishment, paid his fines, and moved on like it was just another day.”

That was... not normal. I had a lot to ponder as I continued my search for research material.

It was proving impossible to avoid conversation even in the most isolated reading nook.

“He’s probably the most unfortunate stallion in town.” Aloe (or was it Vera?) said, “I don’t think I’ve seen a stallion as pent up since my sister and I moved here. You’d think he’d have a massive herd already but well… I’ve heard his stallionhood is as big around as his own hoof! He could use that thing as a weapon.”

“That’s… unfortunate…” I was really regretting getting drawn into the twins’ gossip. Not only was this a really awkward conversation for me, I REALLY had to find a way to avert Nightmare Moon’s return!

“But that’s just rumor and gossip of course! I’ve given him a massage and let me tell you: kneading rocks would be easier. I know stallions that would sell their cutie marks to get that sort of body, but my word! I don’t know how he can move with those knots and how tense he is!”

At least things had moved towards territory that was a little bit more comfortable. I can study even if this is kind of interesting.

“He’s certainly not shy by any means,” Mayor Mare said with dry amusement. I don’t even know why I asked about him. I just wanted a reference on millennial mythology! “And the poor dear never realizes it when he does something socially awkward. I think he has some sort of mental problem? I mean… ponies aren’t normally as blunt as he is. Polite to a fault usually, he just… tells it as it is. I suppose.”

“Interesting…” I listened with one ear as I browsed the shelf and Mayor Mare described some frankly astonishing stories about Steel’s time in Ponyville. “Though it did sound like that foolish colt brought it on himself for provoking a grown stallion like Steel…”

“Steel? He’s cool, not as cool as me of course!” Rainbow Dash boasted as she rooted around the refrigerator, “But if I had a choice between fighting him or a griffon I’d choose the griffon. At least if they kill you they’d mean too.”

“Wait, what!? He’s killed?!” I asked. Just what sort of stallion was Steel!?

“What? No!” Rainbow said, shaking her head, “No, no no. What I mean is that sometimes he just forgets his own strength, though he’s got a lot better about it. I mean he bucked a mare through a building, and just ask AJ about Old Appleton. Actually you should ask Granny about that… AJ still gets mad whenever Appleton gets brought up.”

“This stallion just gets more curious… but I can’t let myself be distracted! I need to find a way to defeat Nightmare Moon!”

I sat nursing yet another cup of punch. Thoughts about that strange stallion kept distracting me from my primary tasks.

‘Alright Twilight, you know what to do when an unrelated problem interferes with a more important duty. You need to work out what is bothering you to attain peace of mind and re-focus.’

The party was already winding down, as most ponies were heading home to freshen up for the next part of the celebration.

‘Okay let me see here. Everypony has painted a very interesting, and often contradictory, picture of Steel. He’s kind and unfailingly polite, yet very blunt, and can quickly become caustic when irritated. There are suspicions that he is suffering from some form of mental impairment which does not impair his daily activities, possibly something on the spectrum of social communication disorders. This could explain his… well, not quite aversion but general dislike of having his personal space invaded. That he displayed no adverse reaction engaging with ponies with whom he’s familiar also supports this. And how can I forget his utter lack of shame, probably related to his mental impairment. I need to research this in the future. If we have a future...’

All together it painted a rather interesting picture of a stallion trying, and with some limited success, living with a possible significant impairment and a lot of excess frustration. But now that I had a course of action planned out, I could put it to the back of my mind and focus on what’s important!.

“Thinking about Steely? Yeah he’s a pretty puzzling pony isn’t he?” Pinkie chirped, “Though don’t let all the stories or anything get to you! Steely is really a perfectly pleasant pony even if his peener is always frustrated!~”

And with that the pink bundle of energy and questionable sanity pronked away.

“... What has that mare been putting in her punch? And why is everypony so fixated on Steel Calvary’s penis?!”