Hentai Horse in Magical Pony Land

by Nightmare723764

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Fetish, Queen Chrysalis, Profanity, Violence, Princess Celestia
Length: 45212

Horse Running on Porn/Hentai Logic in Land of Chill and Fluffy Pones

This is actuallly a spinoff of my Worm story "On a Steel Horse I Ride" over on Questionable Questing and if anyone's curious I suggest you check it out. My handle is exactly the same here so I should be easy to find. Also in the general "Build" for Steel is also avaliable on that thread as well.

Oh and the original version of the story can be found in the Index threadmark of the thread. Anyway moving on.

Steel is a Hyperadvance Biomechanical Sexbot in the Shape of a Horse. In a world with magical equines. Kinda awesome seeing as he's passingly familiar with the fandom however things aren't "canon" or is he in some fanfic verse.

But the absolutely worst thing? His dick is too big and any mare that sees it gets intimidated by it.

Goddamnit!!!

Currently rated Teen however as I progress I may upgrade it to Mature and tag it with Sex.

Yeah I went screw it and decided to make it Mature and Tag it some more.

Here's a link to Questionable Questing and the if that might give context to this is "On a Steel Horse I ride" I also have this posted there as well!

Published 2020-05-30 13:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-10-10 16:22:39 UTC

1: "I'm Steel Cavalry and Fuck my Life..."

Author's Note

I am extremely out of practice with MLP words but the idea of Steel in Magical Pony Land wouldn’t leave me alone so I present to you all the fruits of my overactive imagination!

1: "I'm Steel Cavalry and Fuck my Life..."

<<>>

“Sure.” I think I’m getting too good at hiding my frustration cause I think I fool myself sometimes, “I’ll come by tomorrow to fix your roof.”

The mare with an flank they just didn’t quit, actually I don’t think I ever got her name, just smiled before she trotted off. And I don’t know if it’s just my blueballs and how sexually frustrated I am but I swear to god (or Celestia… whatever) that she was strutting!

God. Fucking. Damnit! Why the fuck is she still single!? How the fuck is she a single parent!? I’ll cave the fucker’s skull in that run out on that fine piece of flank!!

“Whoa. Reel it back there Steel. Just go back to your house and jerk it. *sigh* Like usual…”

It’s been… maybe six months?

Yeah… it’s been six months since I wound up here in Equestria, and honestly I thought it was kinda cool. I’m passingly familiar with the fandom and I won’t deny I enjoyed quite a lot of fanfictions (primarily clop but still). Granted my first task was getting a place where I could live so I could recover and repair all the damages I was suffering.

Actually I still don’t understand how I got so tore up but meh.

So after I got myself situated, repaired, and forked my personality so I could have a nervous breakdown over the whole “I’m a Program/Uploaded Mind in what’s basically a hyperadvanced sexbot shaped like a horse” thing.

Anyway turned out I wasn’t that far away from Ponyville, apparently I’d been squatting in an old abandoned cottage about a forty minute trot from Fluttershy’s place. Anyway after I collected myself I decided to visit the town, and I… might’ve had some foolish expectations from reading too many HiE and other sorts of fics.

Boy did that come crashing down. And wouldn’t it figure, I a Hyperadvanced Horse-shaped Sexbot with Superpowers centered around Sex, would land in not a fanfic verse like Fall of Equestria (thank fuck cause I’d go on a murderspree), or Fallout Equestria (fuck that depressing mess), but I’d wind up in what I can only describe as a “canon” setting.

Though saying “canon” implies that everything was kid-friendly. Trust me, it wasn’t. Ponies as I would learn were just as varied as humans. The only difference is the ponies are, as a whole, more prone to cooperation than humans.

Were ponies pretty tactile? Yes, yes they were. First time I came into town a mare said hello, nuzzled me, and welcomed me to town and offered to show me around!

Were they all nudists? Yes, for the most part anyway. I would come to learn that ponies wearing clothes is usually a sign of status, or if they wanted to impress someone. Though I did find out that there were pony-equalivants of strippers that stripped in reverse, which I still find both fucking weird and oddly arousing.

Though that’s probably because I’m going native, or I would if i could get my fucking dick wet!

And yes they had the equlavlant of a whore house but wouldn’t you just fucking know it? My goddamn DICK IS TOO FUCKING BIG!!! Granted the whorse in question did what she was paid for, though she wouldn’t let me rut her. She instead got me off with her tail, a magic job, and frankly surprising oral skills.

Oh I left still frustrated but not at her (I think her name was… Berry something?) but more at the fact that even after explaining that my “magic” allowed me to fuck somepony without hurting then nopony would take the risk.

“Goddamnit! Think soothing thoughts! Wind blowing through the leaves… working on my harness, seeing Rainbow’s blue puss… goddamnit!!”

I smiled politely at… Roseluck I believe (nice mare a bit panicky but nice) as I left the town square and made a beeline to the edge of town so I could go home and handle my frustration again. God… who knows having a Big Dick would be Blessed with Suck.

I really need to finish that Cybermare. But the power requirements for my Universal Replicator is causing things to drag out. And irritatingly enough my Auto-Doc androids are as anatomically correct as Barbie dolls even if they’re damn nice to look at.

Though I do wonder where exactly Pinkie is, I actually asked somepony saying I heard about Pinkie. He just patted my shoulder and actually explained a little.

Apparently her Pinkie Sense is seriously bullshit. And generally when Pinkie doesn’t immediately jump on and greets somepony that means that the welcome party will be impressive. And the longer it takes the more impressive it’s going to be.

And I won’t deny, I felt somewhat scared by the prospect. I mean I was never the “life of the party” and I certainly never liked crowds. So… if I haven’t seen her in six months… what’s that mean for me?

[Scanning]
[Amusement]
[Data]

Fluttershy’s watching me walk home again huh? Man… it would be such a dick move if I teased her…

[Amusement]

Hehe… you know I should feel a little bit bad for teasing the yellow cinnamon roll but I really don’t.

<<>>

"Oh... oh my..."

Fluttershy knew what everypony thought about her, she’s timid.

Not oblivious after all.

Everypony thought she was this naive and innocent pony that was too pure for this world. And… they weren’t wrong exactly, she is naive and Fluttershy could admit it.

Innocent however?

*shlick shlick shlick*

Yeah… no. Repressed and sort of in denial but not innocent in the slightest.

“How is that even biologically possible?” She wondered as she continued hoofing herself, “I mean it makes sense that it’s proportionate to his overall size and mass but… did he have a Dragon for a grandparent or something!?”

Fluttershy is in denial about a lot of things, which isn’t helped by her timidness or lack of self-confidence. The fact that for the longest time her only friend (and occasional Fillyfriend during particularly harsh Heats) was so boilstrus made Fluttershy even more of a wallflower in comparison to her friend.

But the truth is? Fluttershy was a raging pervert in denial with fetishes ranging from common, unusual (bondage and S&M), and freaky (Zoophilia). And as she hoofed away as she watched a fully erect Steel trotting home she wondered what it’d be like having that giant of a stallion dominating her and forcing that monster of a stallionhood into her.

Would it hurt? Would it feel so blissful she’d beg for more??

And of course her fantasies would take a dive into the gutter. Fantasies of Steel putting her in a stall and breeding her and turning her into a foal factory. Or making her a party favor for himself and a herd of several other stallions just as big and well endowed as Steel.

Having her smooth yellow coat turned white and musky smelling, her wings caked with thick globs of muck preventing her from escaping (but why would she do that?), being the sole mare in a herd of giant stallions. Knowing she wasn’t a leadmare or anything but a place to dump their lust and cum.

“Aaahhh~”

Fluttershy slumped down as she tried to catch her breath, all the while sobbing to herself. After all… why would any stallion even want a dirty perverted mare like her!

“Maybe I should’ve let mom set up that betrothal.” Fluttershy thought as she started the process of cleaning up her shame, “I think I still have some Rocky Road in the freezer… I need some comfort food.”

<<>>

“This might be my toughest one yet.” A certain poofy pink pony thought as she studied on her plans.

Ponies think she just springs parties at the drop of a hat because she’s crazy and possibly the unknown lovefoal of a Chaos spirit. But that isn’t really true; first of all her great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandmama was the one that had a fling with Discord so he wasn’t her dad. Besides he’s stone so how could he get her mom pregnant with her and her sisters?

And second parties require planning as well as study.

Though she was pretty sure others would call her “studying” stalking. But parties, especially Pinkie Parties, aren’t that simple to do. She needed to study and learn about who she’s throwing the party for to make sure the party is something they would actually enjoy. Sometimes it’s really that simple but sometimes it proves difficult.

This of course being one of the difficult ones. Steel from what she had gathered so far was actually a very private individual, in comparison to other ponies that is. He socalizes, has a few friends, but he’s fairly eccentric.

He rarely if ever gives nuzzles or hugs anypony, and he acts more like a mare then a stallion with some of his antics, oh and he really doesn’t take any horseapples from anyone (not anypony Pinkie wouldn’t be surprised if he bucked a Griffon straight in the beak!).

One of the hooligan mares actually tried to press him into her herd. And unlike other stallions who would submit or call for help… he bucked her through two buildings and trotted off. The only reason she wasn’t in a full body cast was because she is a particularly hardy Earth Pony.

He got a scolding, some jail time, and a couple of fines from the local guardmares, however he didn’t seem repentant or even intimidated. He just accepted his punishment and left!

All together Steel is a pretty happy pony (or Horse rather), but recently Pinkie discovered that Steel is pretty frustrated.

Sexually that is.

Apparently his size intimidates any mare he’s intimate with despite having a special talent (or unique magic) that would ensure the size difference wouldn’t be painful or anything!

Which made this rather difficult because Pinkie could honestly say that there weren't too many “adventurous” mares in Ponyville barring herself. Dashie would probably see it as a challenge though, probably Jackie as well now that she thought about it.

She momentarily considered Rarity before dismissing it entirely, while the white unicorn was definitely a tease and no stranger to stallions Pinkie didn’t think she was all that adventurous. Though admittedly she could be wrong.

“Gosh this is hard. Oh wait! I have an idea!”

Pinkie giggled at how she overlooked an obvious solution!

Getting a fresh piece of parchment she started writing.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I’m currently having trouble planning a surprise party for Steel Cavalry (A new pony that moved into town) and I was hoping you could help me come up with something!

1: (1st POV version) "I'm Steel Cavalry and Fuck my Life"

Author's Note

An alternate take on "I'm Steel Cavalry and Fuck my Life" edited and converted to 1st person perspective by Aburi (I'm sorry if I got your name wrong). I had originally intended to just replace the first chapter with this but decided to put it along side the original like I'm doing over on Questionable Questing!

But if everyone wants I'll just replace the original with this!

1: (1st POV version) "I'm Steel Cavalry and Fuck my Life"

“Sure.” I think I’m getting too good at hiding my frustration. I can even fool myself sometimes, “I’ll come by tomorrow to fix your roof.”

The mare with a flank that just didn't quit, I don’t think I ever got her name, just smiled before she trotted off. And I don’t know if it’s just my blue balls or how sexually frustrated I am, but I swear to god that she was strutting!

God. Fucking. Damnit! Why the fuck is she still single!? How the fuck is she a single parent!? I’d cave the fucker’s skull in that would run out a mare like that, but if they didn't I wouldn't be able to enjoy eyeing that fine piece of flank!!

“Whoa. Reel it back there Steel. Just go back to your house and jerk it. *sigh* Like usual…”

It’s been… maybe six months?

Yeah… it’s been six months since I wound up here in Equestria, and honestly I thought it was kinda cool. I’m passingly familiar with the fandom and enjoyed quite a lot of fanfictions (okay, it was primarily clop... but still). My first task was getting a place where I could live so I could recover. And repair all the damages I had suffered.

I still don’t understand how I got so tore up, but meh.

So after I got myself situated and began repairs, I forked my personality and shoved myself down into the basement so I could have a nervous breakdown over the whole “I’m a Program/Uploaded Mind in what’s basically a hyperadvanced sexbot shaped like a horse” thing.

Anyway, it turned out I wasn’t that far away from Ponyville. I’d been squatting in an old abandoned cottage that was just a forty minute trot from Fluttershy’s place. I eventually collected myself, and decided to visit the town, where I… might’ve had some foolish expectations from reading too many HiE and... other... sorts of fics.

Boy did that come crashing down. And wouldn’t it figure, I, a Hyperadvanced Horse-shaped Sexbot with Superpowers centered around Sex, would land in not a fanfic verse like Fall of Equestria (thank fuck cause I’d go on a murderspree), or Fallout Equestria (fuck that depressing mess), but I’d wind up in what I can only describe as a “canon” setting.

Though saying “canon” implies that everything was kid-friendly. Trust me, it wasn’t. Ponies, as I would learn, were just as varied as humans. The only difference is the ponies are, as a whole, more prone to cooperation.

One thing the stories had right was that ponies are pretty tactile. First time I came into town a mare said hello, nuzzled me, and welcomed me to town before offering to show me around!

Were they all nudists? Yes, for the most part anyway. I would come to learn that ponies wearing clothes is usually a sign of status, or if they wanted to impress someone. Though I did find out that there were the pony-equalivant of strippers that stripped in reverse, which I still find both fucking weird and oddly arousing.

Though that probably means I’m going native. Or I would if I could get my fucking dick wet!

And yes, they even had the equlavlant of a whore house (or rather a whorse house), but wouldn’t you just fucking know it? My goddamn DICK IS TOO FUCKING BIG!!! The whorse in question did what she was paid for, to a point. She got me off with her tail, a magic job, and frankly surprising oral skills, but she wouldn’t let me rut her.

I left still frustrated, but not at her (I think her name was… Berry something?). More at the fact that even after explaining that my “magic” allowed me to fuck somepony without hurting them, nopony would take the risk.

“Goddamnit! Think soothing thoughts! Working on my harness, wind blowing through the leaves… seeing Rainbow’s blue… goddamnit!!”

I smiled politely at… Roseluck, I believe, (nice mare, a bit panicky, but nice) as I left the town square and made a beeline to the edge of town so I could go home and handle my frustration again. God… who knows having a Big Dick would be Blessed with Suck.

I really need to finish that Cybermare. But the power requirements for my Universal Replicator is causing things to drag out. And, irritatingly enough, my Auto-Doc androids are as anatomically correct as Barbie dolls. But they’re damn nice to look at.

Though I do wonder where exactly Pinkie is. I actually asked somepony, saying I heard about her. He just patted my shoulder and actually explained a little.

Apparently her Pinkie Sense is serious bullshit. Generally when Pinkie doesn’t immediately jump on and greet somepony, that means that the welcome party will be impressive. And the longer it takes the more impressive it’s going to be.

I won’t deny, I was feeling somewhat scared by the prospect. I mean, I was never the “life of the party” and I certainly never liked crowds. So… if I haven’t seen her in six months… what’s that mean for me?

[Scanning]
[Amusement]
[Data]

Fluttershy’s watching me walk home again huh? Man… it would be such a dick move if I teased her…

[Amusement]

Hehe… I should feel a bit bad for teasing the yellow cinnamon roll, but I really don’t.

"Oh... oh my..."

I know what everypony thinks about me, that I’m timid.

It’s obvious after all.

Everypony thinks I am this naive and innocent pony that’s too pure for this world. And… they aren’t wrong exactly. I am naive, and I can admit it.

But innocent?

*shlick shlick shlick*

Umm… no. I may be repressed, and maybe just a tinsiest bit in denial. But not innocent. No, not in the slightest. The bush I am watching from was not shaking because I’m scared.

“How is that even possible?” I wondered, “I mean… did he have a Dragon for a grandparent or something!?”

I know that I’m in denial about a lot of things. I just can’t help feeling so unsure of myself! It doesn’t help that I spend so much time around Rainbow. She’s my best (if only) friend, and sometimes even fillyfriend (mmm... she’s really good when my season hits hard), but she’s just so loud! I’m even more of a wallflower when she’s around.

But the truth? I’m a raging pervert. I’m a filthy mare with fetishes from bondage and S&M, to playing with my animal friends. My hoof worked away as I watched a fully erect Steel trotting home, wondering what it’d be like having that giant of a stallion dominating me. Pushing me down and... mmm... forcing that monster of a stallionhood into me.

Would it hurt? Would it feel so blissful I’d beg for more? Would I even be able to beg??

Of course my fantasies would dive into the gutter. Fantasies of Steel putting me into a stall and breeding me. Turning me into a foal factory. Or maybe making me a party favor for a herd of even more stallions just as big and virile as Steel himself.

Having my smooth yellow coat turned white and musky, my wings caked with thick white globs preventing me from escaping (oh, but why would I ever do that?). Being the sole mare used by a herd of giant stallions. Knowing I wasn’t a leadmare or anything, only serving as a place to dump their lust and cum.

“Aaahhh~”

I slumped down as I ran out of breath, and began sobbing quietly. After all… why would any stallion even want a dirty perverted mare like me!

“Maybe I should’ve let mom set up that betrothal.” I thought as I started the cleaning up my shame, “I think I still have some Rocky Road in the freezer… I need some comfort food.”

Yay! That means it’s my turn!

“This might be my toughest one yet.” I thought as I studied my plans.

Is it still okay to think of myself in third pony? Or is it still third person? I mean we are people. Being ponies doesn’t make us less of a person than say, a griffon. What was I thinking about? Oh yea! Steel’s going to be one tough nut to crack.

Ponies think parties are easy, that I can just spring them out at the drop of a hat. Well, okay, I can... but it’s not because I’m crazy and slash or possibly the unknown lovefoal of a Chaos spirit. But that’s just silly. It was my 63rd-great-granny pie that had a fling with Dissy! That’d just be weird! Besides he’s stone right now, how would that even work?

Dropping parties like hot cupcakes takes work! It takes planning and studying and stalking! How else can I know ponies well enough to get a pony’s party just right!

Parties, especially Pinkie Parties™, aren’t simple to do. I need to do all that work and learn about who I’m throwing the party for to make sure the party is something they would enjoy. Usually it’s really simple, most ponies like the same things in general. Just add a few personal touches and BAM! Pinkie Party™! But sometimes you get a pony like Steel.

He is, of course, being one of the difficult ones. Steel was actually a very private pony. Sure, he socalizes, talks to ponies, smiles at all the right times. BUT I KNOW SMILES! That’s NOT the smile of a friend. That’s clearly a number 16 smile. Amused around casual acquaintances. I need to find out what will get at least a number 7, genuinely happy around ponies he’s comfortable with.

But he’s fairly eccentric. He never gives nuzzles or hugs, and doesn’t invite anypony to nuzzle him, but he obviously enjoys them. He acts more like a mare then a stallion most of the time. And he really doesn’t take any horseapples from anyone.

Brick Work actually tried to pressure him into her herd. And he didn’t call for help or run away or anything normal… he bucked her through a wall! She didn’t stop for two whole buildings! The only reason she can still walk is because, even for an earth pony, she’s built like a brick..

He got a scolding, some jail time, and a hefty fine, but he wasn’t repentant at all. He just accepted his punishment and left!

The only lead I have is that Steel is pretty frustrated.

Sexually.

For being such a yummy stallion, it seems he’s too big. The mares he tried to be intimate with got scared. Sure he has that special magic to make things work, and I can see why they got scared... but they didn’t even try! Silly ponies.

I haven’t tried to throw a “private” party. Not much market for that here, and Cherry Pit has it covered already. Who would even show? Dashie might see it as a challenge, maybe Jackie would too?

Rarity’s certainly pretty enough... no she’s more the teasing type. She may play around with stallions, but I don’t think she’s really all that adventurous.

“Think, think. Gosh this is hard. Oh wait! How did I miss that!”

Getting a fresh piece of parchment I started writing. I didn’t have a mirror handy, but I still could appreciate the nice number 11 smile on my face. Just the right amount of giggly happiness.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Hi! It’s Pinkie Pie! I don’t know if you know this, but I’m the Party Pony of Ponyville Now! And I’ve got a pickle you might be able to help with. By coming to a party! You see, there’s this new stallion in town.

2: Royal Surprise

<<>>

Dear Princess Celestia

Celestia smiled as she sipped her morning tea, she loved getting letters from her little ponies. Sadly most of them were from greedy nobles trying to get more anything (power, bits, political favors, etc), however that made genuine letters all the more precious for the motherly alicorn.

And young Pinkamena’s (”Call me Pinkie damnit!~”) letters were always a treat, she was just so genuine and honest that Celestia wished she could go and give the pink bundle of happiness a hug! Last year Pinkamena had somehow sent her a three layered triple chocolate cake along with a letter telling her happy birthday! She had no idea how the mare did it, well no she actually did.

She’s just glad the genetic disposition towards chaos and anarchy has watered down over the generations. But she had no doubt Discord would be as proud as a peacock if he ever met Pinkie.

“Now let’s see…” Celestia murmured as she furthered unfurled the letter, though blinking in surprise when a series of pictures fell to the floor.

Deciding to look at them in a moment she focused on the letter, assuming they were pictures of her latest pranks (which Pranklestia approved of). As she read the letter she started to get flustered and started to blush, especially at the rather… lurid details young Pinkamena included.

“A stallion nearly as big as me with a stallionhood like that? Goodness does he have a Dragon or Buffalo somewhere in his ancestry?” She thought recalling some of the trysts over the centuries.

The “horseshoe” cutie mark interested Celestia. Pinkamena, and possibly most ponies really, assumed his special talent was related to building or blacksmithing. And from what she read they weren’t wrong honestly given this Steel Cavalry’s status as a Mr.Fixit but Celestia was old (though call her that to her face she might just punt you to the sun) and had much more knowledge to draw upon.

Now trying to decipher Cutie marks, especially the more esoteric ones like her student Twilight’s, is an exercise in futility. Even marks with an “obvious” talent isn’t that straight forward. Every mark can have countless meanings and there’s a reason Starswirl the Bearded never really delved into the subject.

And if she recalled her lessons Steel’s mark is an “Omega” which stood for “The End” or “Endings” which just begs the question the end of what? However Celestia stopped herself from going down that rabbit hole before she tore her mane out (it’s happened before). Honestly it could truthfully mean nothing, or it could mean something. With such conceptual/metaphysical things one could never be one-hundred percent sure.

“But still… asking me for suggestions on how to make a clearly sexually frustrated stallion happy… Pinkamena honestly you’re too good for this world.”

Shaking her head, Celestia sat the rather… interesting read to the side and levitated the pictures to her hooves.

“Oh… oh my goodness…” She thought as she stared (check Questionable Questing version for the pic) at one picture.

Well she could certainly understand why so many mares were intimidated, not only was he a Horse but well… his was scaled to match his size. So regular ponies would possibly find such a large insertion to be unnerving or maybe uncomfortable bigger mares like herself and those her size would find it rather pleasant.

“Goodness when was the last time I got rutted?”

It actually irritated her that she actually had to think of the answer, but eventually she recalled. It will be a thousand and five years ago in a few months actually. It was with a rather handsome Kirnin before they all went into isolation.

“Oh what was his name?”

Summer Breeze? Yeah… that sounds right! He was such a wonderful lover, attentive, not blinded by the whole Princess (well Goddess at the time) thing, and he could fling muck like a stallion twice his size! And if she were to estimate between the picture and her memories… Steel was possibly half a hoof (six inches) in length and definitely beat Summer in sheer girth!

“Looks like a fence post.” And not one of those tiny ones, the ones ranchers use that look like tiny logs.

“Oh goodness… am I really considering this?” Celestia muttered to herself, “Am I really that desperate for more intimate companionship that I’m considering sending a Royal Summons? What would Lulu think? Or Cadence?? Or Twilight even!?”

Oh who was she kidding? Yes she was. And while her little ponies saw her as a paragon of motherly purity and understanding, the fact is she’s still a mare with needs. Needs that she had been neglecting for centuries in her depression over banishing her darling sister to the moon and trying to govern the moon and sun alongside a fledgling nation.

And honestly… she knew her niece and sister would understand. Twilight however might not be so understanding, given the pedestal the young mare pu Celestia on.

“I wonder if I could get Steel to agree to a temporary banishment and deliver a message to Lulu?”

Of course after she got a centuries old itch thoroughly scratched of course. And maybe if he was especially amazing Celestia would offer him a position as Royal Prince-Consort she hadn’t had one of those in damn near forever!

“Though that means he’d have to meet my nephew…” Celestia honestly couldn’t stop herself from grimacing at the thought.

She loved her nephew, truly she did (no matter how irksome he can be), but she could easily imagine the meeting ending very poorly as Pinkamena had mentioned how Steel didn’t suffer fools lightly. And while the thought of one of her subjects being violent to another displeased her greatly, it wasn’t something new or even taboo. For all ponies espouse “Acceptance and Understanding” very few actually practice what they preach.

She still on occasion got blistering letters from the Hookbeak clan from Gryphonia due to some very… disparaging and horrifically speciest comments from her nephew three years ago.

Actually Cadence had been playing diplomat ever since, though recent letters said that she may have finally soothed their feathers.

But back to her little ponies...

Generally speaking the odd ponies that stand out are treated as outcasts at best and pariahs at worst. Herd mentality can be so troublesome sometimes.

But the fact that Steel is an accepted member of Ponyville (if some do find his eccentricities irritating) gave Celestia hope that maybe one day ponykind will need practice what they preach.

“Princess?” Her stewart said as she poked her head in, “It’s almost time for court.”

“Truly?” Celestia just sighed before she put the fascinating letter and pictures away and locked her desk, “Well… no rest for the weary I suppose. Come along then.” She said, giving her steward a smile as she got up.

The stewart, one of the few to see Celestia ever look like an actual pony and not a Princess, just frowned and bowed.

“You’ll rest one day Princess. I know it!” The stewart thought, hating how often Celestia used that phrase and just how accurate it was.

Truly the burden of Monarchy is a heavy one.

2: (1st POV version) Royal Surprise

Dear Princess Celestia

I smiled as I sipped my tea. This morning’s blend was especially fragrant and soothing. This morning was a special treat as well, as I have received a letter from one of my little ponies. Unlike my routine post, Kibits had marked this one as personal correspondence, and I am glad to set aside the political maneuvering and legal jargon for the moment.

Just thinking about young Pinkamena brings a smile to my face. Would that I could abandon my royal facade and simply hug that little pink bundle of joy! It does not surprise me that she has become an official party planner, last year she arranged for a three layer triple chocolate cake on my birthday!

“Now let’s see…” I murmured as I read more of the letter. To my surprise, several images were included. I felt a bit of disappointment that Pinkamena was seeking assistance, and not sharing another prank. Those are always delightful.

Leaving the photographs for later, I read on. This Steel Cavalry seems to be quite the character. And... oh, my... to think Pinkamena would include such details! I looked back through the images that I had thought to skip over.

“That stallionhood is majestic enough to satisfy even me. I dread what my little ponies would think when they consider it. What must his ancestry contain to gift him such a tool? Dragon? Perhaps buffalo?”

Beyond Steel’s admittedly impressive physical attributes, I am intrigued by his cutie mark. Pinkamena, and probably most other ponies, believe it depicts a horseshoe. Probably related to construction or smithing. And he certainly had those skills, given Steel Cavalry’s status as a Mr. Fixit.

I, however, have a great deal more knowledge on these symbols. Trying to decipher cutie marks, especially the more esoteric ones such as my student’s, can be an exercise in futility. Even marks with “obvious” talents are not necessarily straightforward. Every mark can have countless meanings and there’s a reason nopony has made any progress delving into the subject.

But with some background, some clues can be found. Such as with Steel Cavalry’s mark. It is not a horseshoe, but rather a letter in the (mostly) forgotten language of the Moochick. Like the fabled being himself, this language was both obscure and filled with hidden meanings. If I recall correctly, Steel Cavalry’s mark is called an “Omega”. It is the last letter, and one of the most meaningful, if most obscure. This mark could imply Steel is the last, the end, the greatest, or even the least. Continuing this line of thought could easily lead to me pulling my mane off again, so I put this aside until I can speak to the stallion himself. His must be a fascinating cutie mark story.

“Back to the point… that she would ask me to help make a sexually frustrated stallion happy… Pinkamena, honestly you’re too good for this world.”

With a happy sigh, I set the fascinating letter to the side to give the photos a closer inspection..

“Oh my stars…,” I thought as I came to a particular image.

I can certainly see why so many mares are intimidated. Not only was Steel as large as a horse, his member was exceptional even given his overall size. Regular ponies would likely find such a large insertion to be unnerving. It would take a mare as large as myself to look on such a prospect with pleasure..

“Goodness when was the last time I got rutted?”

It irritated me that I had to think to find the answer. It will be a thousand and five years ago in a few months actually. A rather handsome Kirin whom I dallied with before they all went into isolation.

“Oh what was his name?”

Summer Breeze? Yes… that sounds right. He was such a wonderful lover, attentive, not blinded by my status as Princess (well, Goddess at the time), and he could fling muck like a stallion twice his size! If I were to estimate between the picture here and my memories… Steel possibly has half a hoof in over Summer. And he definitely beats Summer in girth!

“It would be like being rutted by a fence post.” And not one of those tiny ones, the ones ranchers use that look like logs.

“Oh goodness… am I really considering this?” I muttered to myself, “What would Lulu think? Or Cadence? Or Twilight even!?”

Oh who am I kidding? I most certainly am considering this. My little ponies may see me as a paragon of maternal purity and understanding, I’m still a mare with needs. Needs that I have been neglecting for far too long. At first it was depression from banishing Luna and trying to govern the moon and sun alongside a fledgling nation. Over time, I guess I just got used to it.

And honestly… my niece and sister would understand. Twilight however, might not be so understanding. She still has not learned these lessons, and that’s not considering the pedestal the young mare has me on.

“I wonder if I could get Steel to agree to a temporary banishment. He could ‘deliver a message’ to Lulu?”

Only after I get my own itch thoroughly scratched of course. And maybe if he lives up to that magnificent tool he’s carrying around, I can offer him a position as Royal Prince-Consort. I haven’t had one of those since just after the founding!

“Though that would mean he’d have to meet my nephew…” I couldn’t stop myself from grimacing at the thought.

I love my nephew, I truly do. But Blueblood can be so irksome sometimes. It is almost as if he aims to fill every negative stereotype of a pampered rich stallion. If even half of dear Pinkamena’s description is true, then I can’t imagine a meeting between Blueblood and such a dominant creature to go well.

I still get blistering letters from the Hookbeak clan on occasion from the last time Blueblood spoke with anyone from Gryphonia due. It has been some three years, but gryphons are not a people to let go of such disparaging and horrifically speciest comments.

Poor Cadence had been playing diplomat ever since, though recent letters say she may finally be soothing their feathers.

But back to the topic of the moment...

Generally speaking, ponies that stand out are treated as outcasts at best, and pariahs at worst. Herd mentality being what it is. .

But that Steel is an accepted member of Ponyville gives me hope that maybe ponykind will one day practice the acceptance and understanding that we preach.

“Princess?” Kibits said as he poked hishead in, “It’s almost time for court.”

“Truly?” I sighed before putting the fascinating letter and pictures away and locking my desk, “Well… no rest for the weary I suppose. Come along then.” I said, giving Kibits a smile as I got up.

Kibits, one of my few friends, who looks on me as a pony, and not just a Princess, frowned as he bowed.

“You’ll rest one day Princess. I know it!” He muttered. I dutifully pretended not to hear. .

Truly the burden of a crown is a heavy one.

3: Twilight Steel

<<>>

First thing Twilight knew she needed to do was to make sure all the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration were in order. And afterwards she would go to the library and see what more she could look up on the Elements of Harmony. Making friends could come after saving all of Equestria, not that she needed them anyway.

She had Princess Celestia, Cadence, her parents, her sister, and Spike. She doesn’t need anypony else! She just wished the Princess understood that!

Though admitted she did sort of feel bad for not going to Moondancer’s birthday party.

Sitting across from her was her assistant/adopted brother/quasi-son Spike, a baby dragon with purple and green scales. He was currently engrossed in the latest issue of some comic, Power something Twilight vaguely recalled. She had a lot of important things on her mind so the name slipped her mind.

She just sighed quietly and dug into her saddlebags for a book on Equestrian legends, maybe something in here could give her a hint to defeating Nightmare Moon?

“Okay. So what’s first on the agenda?”

Spike, who was resting on Twilight’s back, unfurled a check list and looked over it for a few moments.

“First we’re going to Sweet Apple Acres to check to make sure the catering is in order.” Spike said licking his lips faintly, which got an eye roll from Twilight.

“Okay. Now… how do we get there?” She muttered under her breath.

“Sorry Mr. Cavalry your order from Appaloosa hasn’t arrived yet.” An apologetic mare said.

“It’s fine Ms. Doo, probably foolish to expect it so soon.” A giant of a stallion rumbled his voice surprisingly deep, “How has little Dinky been? I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“Oh she’s a little angel. My other daughter is foalsitting for me while I work.” Ms. Doo, a rather cute pegasus with a case of wall-eye that somehow made her cuter, said with a smile.

“You know I could watch Dinky. I know Sparkler is a busy mare herself.” The stallion offered with a smile.

“It’s fine Mr. Fixit.” Ms. Doo cheekily retorted, “Now I gotta get back to work! Bye!~” She added before giving the stallion a nuzzle before flying off.

“Damn touchy-feely ponies…” The stallion muttered though clearly not really upset.

Twilight understood honestly, she hated when her personal space was invaded by strangers. Though the two seemed pretty familiar with each other so perhaps it’s just a quirk of his perhaps?

“Hey, perhaps we could ask him for help!” Spike exclaimed, drawing the stallions attention.

He tilted his head and approached, making Twilight’s eyes widen as he seemed to be a lot bigger. His coat looked soot gray and possessed a natural ruffled look that seemed to suit him, and his mane was black with streaks of gray peppered throughout it as did his tail. Actually as he got closer Twilight noticed the odd marks all over his face and couldn’t figure out if they were natural or not.

“You two need some help?” The stallion asked, “Oh, allow me to introduce myself. Steel Cavalry, local Mr. Fixit.”

“Oh. Um, I’m Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight said rather surprised by the giant's manners, “And this is Spike. We’re here to make sure the Summer Sun Celebration is running smoothly.”

“Hmm? Well then an important guest then.” Steel said with some amusement, “Never understood the fuss myself but whatever. Where do you need to go first?”

Twilight and Spike stared at him when he said he didn’t understand the fuss, and wondered just how deep a cave had this stallion been living in to NOT understand the importance of today!? Shaking her head Twilight marefully repressed her urge to lecture the giant brute from the sounds of it, his surprising manners be damned!

“Sweet Apple Acres actually.” Twilight said.

“Huh, food I suppose. Well if you’re having the Apples cater you’re in good hooves.” Steel said, “Sure I’ll show you the way, I need to see if they need any help anyway.”

Twilight nodded and followed Steel, though she quickly sped up to a trot when she accidentally got an eyeful of his rather large testicles. Just from a glance she could tell they were ovid in shape like enlarged eggs and were probably around the size of cantaloupes, though she could be wrong in that regard.

And if Steel noticed he didn’t comment, but then again why would he? With the exception of nobility nopony really wore clothes unless their respective job required it.

Spike however snickered and got a telekinetic dobe-slap for his trouble.

Sweet Apple Acres was a very impressive apple farm Twilight realized as they stood on top of a hill and overlooked the massive fields of trees. Steel chuckled faintly at Twilight’s expression making her blush faintly at being caught.

“The Apples were one of the founding families and have worked this land since day one.” Steel explained, “And the land has been very good to them.”

“I see.” Twilight said, “It’s a very impressive plantation. Is it family operated or do they hire others to help?”

“It’s family owned and operated for the most part.” Steel answered, “Though they’ll never turn down a helping hoof and they’ll always pay you for your troubles. They were certainly kind to me when I first moved in. Now I mostly just do repairs and help during large harvests if they ask.”

Twilight nodded as Steel led them towards a large homestead. When they got closer Steel cracked his neck.

“Oi Jack! Got a mare here to check on catering!” He called sounding more country than he did before, “Get your flank over here!”

“Oh you shush up Mister!” An orange mare with freckles and a cowpony hat retorted as she trotted over and focused on Twilight, “Howdy there! I reckon yer here about tha catering like the big lug said?”

Steel just snorted before trotting off towards a rather large red stallion, though nowhere near as big as Steel himself. She watched for a few moments before she shook it off and looked at the cowmare.

“Yes. I’m Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight said, “I’m just wanting to make sure the catering is taken care of- are… those two wrestling??”

“Oh, that’s just those two being overgrown foals.” The mare said rolling her eyes as Steel and the other stallion rolled around wrestling, “Big Mac was tha strongest pony in Ponyville till Steel showed up. Not sure when they got started with this foalishness though. Oh, and I’m Applejack! Pleasure ta met ya partner!”

“Err yeah.” Twilight said, “Well I need to go. I need to make sure everything else is in order.”

However she was stopped by Applejack grabbing her tail.

“No doing their partner. Ya can’t just come to Sweet Apple Acres without tryin’ tha vittles now.” Applejack said.

“Don’t try to argue.” Steel said from behind the cowpony, “Apples are extremely stubborn and when they set their minds to something they rarely change it.”

“Yer just hankering for mah famous apple pie!” Applejack retorted eyeing him.

“Guilty as charged.” Steel said, “I would love some of your pie. The whole pie honestly but I’m not that greedy.”

Twilight was just glad Spike was too young to understand innuendo, and she’s pretty sure that was innuendo judging by Steel’s smirk and Applejack’s bright blush.

“Sure!” Twilight said, deciding to break the awkward silence, “Lead the way Applejack!”

Steel just snickered as they all headed inside the homestead, though Steel had to crouch a little to get through the doorway.

<<>>

I watched as a pleasantly stuffed (giggity) Twilight slowly trotted off with a near comatose dragon on her back. I was actually surprised and hadn’t really kept track of the time, so the fact that the beginning of “canon” had snuck up on me it’d left me rather at a loss.

I could just leave her alone to do her thing and the day would be saved regardless, and I could stay in town to try and keep order. Though realistically I knew that wasn’t an option due to my very presence changing things, Butterfly Effect is a bitch to deal with.

So, I think I might have to keep Moonie occupied to let the mares get the Elements so they could hit her with a Rainbow Laser of Friendship to exorcise the Nightmare spirit from Luna.

“You know what this means bud.”

[Understanding]
[Worry]

“I know bud. I know. But I might have to keep Moonie occupied. Just make sure the Beacon is ready okay? And possibly have the Auto-Doc or Rejuvenation Chamber prepped and ready depending on how messed up I get. If the worst happens, have one of the Androids dump my Core into a New-Life Tub.”

[Alarm]

“I don’t like it either but it’s possible. I’m about to throw myself at an Alicorn. And no matter how weakened she is from a thousand years banishment she’s still a powerful entity. I might have to lower my [Restrictions] to %25 so I can keep up.”

[Query]

“I don’t care! Better to overestimate than to underestimate an opponent. And while she’s weakened Moonie still has access to Luna’s experience. She was considered the Warrior Goddess for a reason.”

Deciding that arguing with my CPU was a waste of time I decided to head home, I needed to finish the construction of the generator that will finally allow my shop to actually fully activate. And I also needed to prep the Auto-Doc, the Rejuvenation chamber, and a New-Life tub though I really hope I don’t need the tub.

I really have no desire to experience childhood, er foalhood again.

Although if I did have to grow up again my dick would probably be more manageable… no. Never mind!

Shaking my head I made my way home. I’d probably get my androids to get me off, wouldn’t want to pop a boner in front of Moonie after all!

… Though that alone could lead to some amusement… and I could check off “Cockslapping a Goddess” off my bucket list… hmm…

[Exasperation]

Author's Note

Some Q & A

Q: What do you mean by Entity? You don't mean like a Worm Entites right?
A: No, Luna and Celestia (and other Alicorns) aren't Entities like in Worm. It this case entites is used in a technical sense as while alicorns hold many similarities to ponies they aren't actually ponies. Maybe genetically they're connected but in the same manner as Humans are related to Primates. No one really knows what alicorns really are except they possess an connection to magic and their respective aspects (Celestia's aspect is the Sun and Light, Luna's aspect being the Moon and Dreams, and so on) that no other species could hope to possess barring Eldar Dragons and even that's a stretch.

Q: What about the Goddess thing?
A: They're not legitimate gods in a pure metaphysical sense however in a physical sense they're godlike. Their connection to Magic and their respective Aspects just makes them seem more godlike then they actually are. Alicorns are virtually immortal but ultimately they are still mortal, and thusly they're not perfect.

Q: How do the New Life tubs work? It sounds like they're basically a restart button to life
A: You're not wrong as they could be used like that. However what Steel was implying that in the coming fight against Nightmare Moon he might suffer so much damage that his body is unsalvagable and that his Core (basically Steel consciousness) is to be put in a New Life tub and have his body regrown.

Q: Moonie? Where's that from?
A: A reference to a cute little fic over on FiMfiction where Nightmare Moon is a foal and being adorable.

4: A Party and...

<<>>

“So…” Twilight figured if she couldn’t get away from the blasted party she might as well try and learn something from the locals, “I’m curious about Steel.”

Though Twilight asked Applejack who had decided to keep the purple pony company it was actually the town drunkard (or so Applejack said) Berry Punch that answered.

“He’s an oddball. Stallion with a heart of gold but he is bizarre.” Berry said between drinks of punch, “Showed up six months back. Homeless and without a bit to his name, actually started working at SAA about… two months after he showed up. Eventually bought that decrepit cottage not too far from Shy’s place, fixed it up pretty good too.”

That… was informative but not exactly what Twilight was hoping to hear. She gathered that Steel was something of a town eccentric and a hard worker. She was hoping for something more… in-depth. There was just something off about the stallion, and not just how his confidence if like Rainbow Dash’s only turned down to nine instead of fifteen.

“I also heard from my sister Berry Drink that he’s got a willy that could be used as a bludgeon.” Berry Punch added crassly, “The thought of letting that thing rut terrified her, but she managed to appease the beast with other tricks.” She added with a dirty snicker.

“Well that makes sense as Steel must be from Saddle Arabia originally or his parents were. Horses easily out-mass Ponies depending on their respective breed and everything about them have to be proportional. And Steel looks like he’s a Shire breed, possibly a pureblood one, and they’re supposedly the largest of all Horses and famed for their physical strength.”

Applejack looked interested but Twilight ignored that.

“While that’s… informative. That’s not exactly what I was curious about.” Twilight said finally.

“Oh! You mean like… how he acts and stuff?” Twilight nodded, “You’re better off asking Derpy, Time Turner, or Big Mac. They all know him better.”

“Derpy?” Twilight asked.

“A right sweet mare. You can’t miss her.” Berry Punch said before she stumbled off.

“Well… excuse me Applejack.” Twilight said with a smile, “I’ve got some questions that need answers!”

“Yeah, have fun! And if you wanna know more about Steel just ask around.” Applejack said slightly red in the face as she got some more punch.

Twilight just tilted her head and decided to… mingle.

“Steel? Well he’s a nice enough stallion. Amazing with foals and doesn’t take himself or really life in general too seriously.” A earth pony in a suit with a coiffed mane said, “Though he is kinda standoffish, not rude mind you. He just… really doesn’t like it when somepony just invades his personal space. And let’s not forget just how damn Alpha Mare he acts when provoked.”

“Alpha Mare?” Twilight asked, “Can you… expand on that Mr. Rich?”

“Well… like Rainbow Dash only without the ego.” Mr. Rich said, “A hooligan mare tried to force him into her herd and got bucked through two buildings for her trouble. I heard she had to spend a week or two in the hospital.”

“Oh my! Did he get in trouble?” Twilight asked.

“Oh yes. Fined and spent about… half a month in jail I believe.” Mr. Rich said, “But he never once acted repentant or chastised. He just accepted his punishment, paid his fines, and just moved on like it was just another day.”

Twilight just pondered over that.

“He’s probably the most unfortunate stallion in town.” Aloe (or was it Vera?) said, “I don’t think I’ve seen a stallion as pent up or frustrated as him since my sister and I moved here. You’d think he’d have a massive herd already but well… I’ve heard his stallionhood could double as a weapon.”

“That’s… unfortunate…” Twilight really regretted talking to Aloe now.

“But that’s just what I’ve heard of course! I’ve given him a massage and let me tell you kneading wet cement would be easier. I know stallions that would sell their cutie marks to get that sort of body but my word the knots and how tense his muscles are!”

Twilight nodded, at least that bit was a little bit more comfortable and interesting honestly.

“He’s certainly not shy by any means.” Mayor Mare said with dry amusement, “And the poor dear never realizes it when he does something clearly embarrassing. I think he has some sort of mental problem? I mean… ponies aren’t normally as blunt as he is. Polite to a fault however, he just… tells it as it is. I suppose.”

“Interesting…” Twilight thought as she listened to Mayor Mare go on about some of his oblivious antics.

“Steel? He’s cool, not as cool as me though!” Rainbow Dash boasted, “But if I had a choice between fighting him or a Griffon I’d choose the Griffon. At least if they kill you they’d mean too.”

“What do you mean exactly? He’s killed accidentally?!” Twilight asked with wide eyes, what sort of stallion is this Steel!?

“What? No!” Rainbow said, shaking her head, “What I mean is that sometimes he forgets his own strength, though he’s got a lot better about it. I mean he bucked a mare through two buildings, and just ask AJ about Old Appleton. Actually you should ask Granny about that… AJ still gets mad whenever Appleton is mentioned.”

Twilight sat as she nursed another cup of punch thinking about the strange stallion Steel, the party was already winding down as the celebration approached so most wanted to freshen up for the next part.

“Okay let me see here.” Twilight took another sip as she thought, “Everypony has painted a very interesting picture of Steel. He’s kind and unfailingly polite, yet he’s very blunt and can be very caustic when irritated. Possibly might be suffering from some form of mental impairment that doesn’t overall prevent him from living, just makes him socially awkward. And let’s not forget his… well not aversion but general dislike of having his personal space invaded, though he doesn’t have a problem with engaging with ponies he’s familiar as I’ve seen with Ms.Doo and Big Mac. And how can I forget his utter lack of shame, probably related to his mental impairment.”

All together it painted a rather interesting picture of a stallion trying, and with some limited success, living with possible multiple impairments and a lot of pent up frustration. Genuinely helpful and not afraid to “throw down” as Rainbow Dash put it when she shared a story about Steel going savage on a rabid Manticore that rampaged just outside of Ponyville.

“Thinking about Steely? Yeah he’s a pretty puzzling pony isn’t he?” Pinkie chirped, “Though don’t let all the stories or anything get to you! Steely is actually a perfectly pleasant pony even if his peener is always frustrated!~”

And with that the pink bundle of energy and questionable sanity pronked away.

“... What in Tartarus is that mare even on??”

Author's Note

I decided to break chapter 4 into two parts!

4: (1st POV version) A Party and...

I was at a party that I had no desire to attend. And I couldn’t even leave, because it was being held in the same building I was staying at.

“So…,” With every attempt to do something useful thwarted, I figured I could try to learn something about one of the locals, “I’m curious about Steel.”

Applejack had decided to keep me company for some reason, and was who I had asked; but another pony rudely inserted herself into the conversation to answer.

“He’s an oddball. That stallion may have a heart of gold, but he sure is bizarre,” The mare said between drinks of punch. “Showed up about six months back, homeless and without a bit to his name. He actually started working for Applejack here about… oh, two months after that. Eventually bought that dump of a cottage not far from Shy’s place. Fixed it up pretty good too.”

Thankfully, Applejack gave us some introductions while I pondered that informative, but unsatisfying bit of information. “Twilight, this here is Berry Punch. She’s the local bartender, and some of us think she might sample her own drinks a bit more than is proper.”

Berry Punch threw back her head and laughed at that. “How do you think I got my job!”

“Berry,” Applejack continued, “This here is Twilight Sparkle. She’s here to supervise the celebration.”

“Nice to meet ya. Say, I heard from my sister that he’s got a willy that could knock you out! It’s like a club!” Berry said with a wink and a nudge. A literal wink as she actually nudged me with her elbow. I did not know that was an actual thing, and not just a saying.

“So, she’s his marefriend?” I wasn’t really sure how to handle this conversation, but Applejack seemed happy to listen in.

“Hah! No, Berry Drink’s an escort. Steel hired her a while back, but even she wouldn’t let that monster of a member inside of her. Of course, she managed to appease the beast with other tricks. My sister’s a talented mare, after all,” she added with a snicker.

“Okay, I know I wanted more information, but this is way too much! I mean, I would expect a professional to be able to estimate a pony’s endowment from a distance, and if it weren’t for his cutie mark, I would have guessed Steel was a Saddle Arabian, and given his stature and genetic probability it’s likely that at least three fourths of his ancestry is from the Shire breed, which are known for their exceptional size, I mean, “hung like a horse” specifically refers to them, and those comments sound as if he is disproportionately endowed even beyond that!’

Applejack looked far too interested in the direction this conversation was going.

“While that’s… informative,” I said, trying to find a way to redirect Berry. “But that’s not exactly what I was curious about.”

“Oh! You mean like… how he acts all weird and stuff?” she asked, “In that case, you’re better off asking Derpy. Or maybe Time Turner or Big Mac. They all know him a lot better.”

“Derpy?” I asked.

“She’s a very sweet mare. You can’t miss her.” Berry Punch said before she stumbled off.

‘A sweet mare. Wonderful description to find someone with. Well, on that exceptionally useful note, I had best get back on track.’

“Well… excuse me Applejack,” I said with a smile which was only slightly forced, “I’ve got some research to get to.”

“Alright then, you have fun! And don’t worry too much about asking about Steel, he’s a popular topic of conversatin’ around here.” Applejack said, slightly red in the face as she got some more punch.

An earth pony with a rather nice suit and well tended mane was busy pontificating in front of the history section. ‘I swear this pony would fit right in if he were dropped in the Rose Quarter.

“You know that Steel stallion? Nice enough boy. Amazing with foals and doesn’t take himself too seriously. Or life in general really.” he muttered that last part for some reason, “Though he is somewhat standoffish. Not rude mind you, he just… really likes his personal space. And we mustn’t forget just how Alpha Mare he gets when provoked.”

“Alpha Mare?” I asked, “Can you… expand on that Mr. Rich?” I was getting drawn into this conversation in spite of myself.

“A local mare tried to force him into her herd. She got bucked hard enough to fly through two buildings for her trouble. I heard she had to spend more than a week in the hospital.”

“Oh my! Did he get in trouble?” I asked.

“Oh yes. Fines and jail time… he was in jail until little miss hooligan recovered.,” Mr. Rich said. “But he never once apologized.. He just accepted his punishment, paid his fines, and moved on like it was just another day.”

That was... not normal. I had a lot to ponder as I continued my search for research material.

It was proving impossible to avoid conversation even in the most isolated reading nook.

“He’s probably the most unfortunate stallion in town.” Aloe (or was it Vera?) said, “I don’t think I’ve seen a stallion as pent up since my sister and I moved here. You’d think he’d have a massive herd already but well… I’ve heard his stallionhood is as big around as his own hoof! He could use that thing as a weapon.”

“That’s… unfortunate…” I was really regretting getting drawn into the twins’ gossip. Not only was this a really awkward conversation for me, I REALLY had to find a way to avert Nightmare Moon’s return!

“But that’s just rumor and gossip of course! I’ve given him a massage and let me tell you: kneading rocks would be easier. I know stallions that would sell their cutie marks to get that sort of body, but my word! I don’t know how he can move with those knots and how tense he is!”

At least things had moved towards territory that was a little bit more comfortable. I can study even if this is kind of interesting.

“He’s certainly not shy by any means,” Mayor Mare said with dry amusement. I don’t even know why I asked about him. I just wanted a reference on millennial mythology! “And the poor dear never realizes it when he does something socially awkward. I think he has some sort of mental problem? I mean… ponies aren’t normally as blunt as he is. Polite to a fault usually, he just… tells it as it is. I suppose.”

“Interesting…” I listened with one ear as I browsed the shelf and Mayor Mare described some frankly astonishing stories about Steel’s time in Ponyville. “Though it did sound like that foolish colt brought it on himself for provoking a grown stallion like Steel…”

“Steel? He’s cool, not as cool as me of course!” Rainbow Dash boasted as she rooted around the refrigerator, “But if I had a choice between fighting him or a griffon I’d choose the griffon. At least if they kill you they’d mean too.”

“Wait, what!? He’s killed?!” I asked. Just what sort of stallion was Steel!?

“What? No!” Rainbow said, shaking her head, “No, no no. What I mean is that sometimes he just forgets his own strength, though he’s got a lot better about it. I mean he bucked a mare through a building, and just ask AJ about Old Appleton. Actually you should ask Granny about that… AJ still gets mad whenever Appleton gets brought up.”

“This stallion just gets more curious… but I can’t let myself be distracted! I need to find a way to defeat Nightmare Moon!”

I sat nursing yet another cup of punch. Thoughts about that strange stallion kept distracting me from my primary tasks.

‘Alright Twilight, you know what to do when an unrelated problem interferes with a more important duty. You need to work out what is bothering you to attain peace of mind and re-focus.’

The party was already winding down, as most ponies were heading home to freshen up for the next part of the celebration.

‘Okay let me see here. Everypony has painted a very interesting, and often contradictory, picture of Steel. He’s kind and unfailingly polite, yet very blunt, and can quickly become caustic when irritated. There are suspicions that he is suffering from some form of mental impairment which does not impair his daily activities, possibly something on the spectrum of social communication disorders. This could explain his… well, not quite aversion but general dislike of having his personal space invaded. That he displayed no adverse reaction engaging with ponies with whom he’s familiar also supports this. And how can I forget his utter lack of shame, probably related to his mental impairment. I need to research this in the future. If we have a future...’

All together it painted a rather interesting picture of a stallion trying, and with some limited success, living with a possible significant impairment and a lot of excess frustration. But now that I had a course of action planned out, I could put it to the back of my mind and focus on what’s important!.

“Thinking about Steely? Yeah he’s a pretty puzzling pony isn’t he?” Pinkie chirped, “Though don’t let all the stories or anything get to you! Steely is really a perfectly pleasant pony even if his peener is always frustrated!~”

And with that the pink bundle of energy and questionable sanity pronked away.

“... What has that mare been putting in her punch? And why is everypony so fixated on Steel Calvary’s penis?!”

4.2: a Dance with a Nightmare in the Pale Moonlight!

<<>>

The moment when Tia had banished her, no that’s not right.

The moment when she had banished Them, she understood and accepted the punishment while her personal Nightmare raged and swore vengeance.

She was such a fool, why did she ever doubt her sister? She is the Night, like her Nightmare is so fond of proclaiming, she defended her Ponies when they’re at their most vulnerable. It was only natural for ponies to prefer Celestia, she should’ve simply been content with her precious Thestrals.

But no she had to get jealous, and her jealousy fed her Nightmare until Luna was spurred and subjugated by her own Darkness. And if things didn’t go the way they did Luna knew without a doubt that Tia would tease her relentlessly for allowing her Nightmare to overpower her will.

Tia herself didn’t show her Nightmare as frequently, only during the conquest of Equestria did the relentless light of Sol Invictus shine through.

“Damn you Nightmare!!”

“Don’t you mean Damn me my weaker half? After all… I am you and you are me!” The Nightmare mocked after she banished Tia to the sun, “Now… I must prepare myself to greet my subjects!”

Luna just grumbled but didn’t bother to retort, mostly because as much as it burned her teats the Nightmare was correct. So instead she just watched as the Nightmare teleported to a quaint-looking hamlet called Ponyville.

Luna ignored Nightmare’s speech and instead looked at all the scared ponies, oh how she wished she could do something. However the Nightmare had been thorough in ensuring Luna couldn’t upsur Nightmare’s control.

Eventually her gaze landed on possibly the largest Horse she had ever seen before. From the musculature alone Luna identified him as a Shire breed, though she couldn’t even begin to estimate how much he weighed or anything else.

“Oh? What’s this? Is my weaker half enjoying some eye candy?”

Luna just ignored the Nightmare, only to start laughing when the stallion in question started to aggressively flirt with the Nightmare.

“Arrogant colt! Know your place!!” Nightmare spat before blasting him with a bolt of raw mana.

Luna snorted, one thing the Nightmare lacked that Luna had in spades was unparalleled control of her magic. That mana bolt offended Luna’s pride as a spellcaster, but Luna even knowing that the Nightmare did these little things on purpose to irritate her she simply couldn’t help it.

“Is this foreplay for you? Cause if so I can deal.” Luna would’ve passed out from laughing if she could’ve, “It’s not my thing but if you like it rough I can provide!~”

“Oh stars! That tongue waggle!”

Though Luna made a reminder to ask the stallion about what sort of enchantment he used to make his tongue over two hooves long! And not because she wanted to use that herself for when she eventually regained control of her own body.

The Nightmare just growled and bared her serrated fangs, which only got more lewd catcalls from the stallion (who had to have balls bigger than the sun itself!), before she used transposition to reappear in the Everfree castle where she started to weave her magic on the entire forest.

“I’d certainly like to get to know that stallion.”

That just made the Nightmare growl even louder.

“I feel both complemented and defiled…”

The stallion and a group of mares, his herd perhaps, had arrived and the stallion has resumed his bizarre barrage of innuendo and sexual harassment. If Luna had been in control she’s reasonable sure she’d be deeply offended.

The the stallion charged the Nightmare and engaged in a bizarre form of erotic wrestling, even going so far as actually cockslapping her! Maybe even worse by glazing the entire right side of her head!

"Your resistance makes me harder!!~" Luna's lungs would've collapsed with how hard she laughed.

And despite what others would think… it was very much like getting hit by a Buffalo warclub! That thing was surprisingly solid and… smelled fairly interesting. Though that might’ve been because she’s been on a thousand year long dry spell of course.

Of course the Nightmare lost her shit, which is ironic as most would consider that Nightmare would also represent her lust, and proceeded to make the erotic wrestling into something much more real when she shattered the stallions jaw and tried her best to reduce him to paste.

“Were Shires always this strong?” Luna mused as the Nightmare was bucked across the room.

“FUCKING FIRE THE GODDAMN FRIENDSHIP LASER!!”

The fact that the stallion could still somehow talk even with a broken and dislocated jaw stopped the Nightmare from struggling. Only to resume as the both of them were hit by the “Friendship Laser” as he called it!

And as Luna felt the metaphorical chains binding her break and Nightmares hold over her body weaken she couldn’t help but shed tears of relief!

Finally! She was finally free!

And her Nightmare was returned to her subconscious, where it will stay until her power was needed.

4.2: 1st POV version) a Dance with a Nightmare in the Pale Moonlight!

Author's Note

My editor decided to go Victorian with Luna's speech.

4.2: 1st POV version) a Dance with a Nightmare in the Pale Moonlight!

The stars hath fully aligned at last.

Mine... no our. Our imprisonment was at its weakest. And had I a say, we wouldst remain imprisoned for yet another millennia. From the moment my dear sister banished us, I hath understood. And in the fullness of time, I hath come to accept such as my due.

I am such a fool. As I always have been. My foolhardy doubt and jealousy of mine own sister hast drivin me from my greatest purpose in life, to defend my subjects as they are in their most vulnerable moments. A task which not only hath I abandoned in my hubris and rage, but my Nightmare, the darkness that is myself, was set to do them harm.

I did struggle, of course. But centuries hath weakened me beyond all use. Not to consider that the chains with which I was bound where of mine own making. The Nightmare did nowise notice mine efforts even as we broke through Harmony’s seal and catapulted to Equestria.

‘Damn you Nightmare!’

‘HAHAHA! Damning yourself? My weaker half, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten? I am you! You are me!’ The Nightmare’s insane mirth continued as we appeared before my sister. Ere the light from our appearance hath faded, we wrapped Tia in the fragments of our own prison. Afore she could blink, my poor sister was locked in our stead.

I did not reply to mine other. How could I? Had I not the same thoughts afore? Much as it vexeth me, the Nightmare was correct. I could only watch as we carried out our plans.

“Now… I must prepare myself to greet my subjects!”

I paid no heed to our diatribe. Mine attention was taken entirely with the afeared visages of my once subjects. Though I knew the futility, I struggled once more then. I failed as I knew I would. The Nightmare had been clever in my minding. Mine own power continued to restrain me.

My gaze was drawn to a particular pony. He was certes the most puissant example of equinity I had ever laid eyes on. With a stature to match our own and grand musculature, this stallion certainly outweighed us by a fair margin. Most intriguingly, of all the ponies here, he showed no signs of fear.

‘Oh? What’s this? Is my weaker half enjoying some eye candy?’

I paid no heed to my darker half, for in our distraction the stallion had ascended the stairway and was in the midst of rubbing flanks with us most flirtatiously. “Say, how about we go back through that curtain? I’ll bet I can rut the evil right out of you.”

I burst into laughter in our head. I had a great appreciation for this approach, be it banter afore combat or foreplay. In times long gone, in the best of times, it was both.

“Arrogant colt! Know your place!!” We spat before blasting him with a bolt of raw mana.

I would snort if I only could. The Nightmare is more than capable of using our exceptional skills in spellcasting and control. I could never decide if the Nightmare simply enjoyed the intimidation of using our bottomless well of mana, or if she enjoyed my frustration from using brute force. In either case, such crudities hath long become her base nature.

“Is this foreplay for you? Cause if so I can deal.” My laughter sparked anew. This marvelous pony happily bantered even after being blasted over the balustrade! “It’s not my thing but if you like it rough I can provide!~”

‘Oh my stars! That tongue waggle!’ I simply must discover what sort of enchantment he used to make his tongue do that!.

Unfortunately, our only reply was a growl as we bared our serrated fangs, which only earned more catcalls of ever greater lewdness. By the maker, he must have balls of chromed tungsten! The Nightmare had had enough though, and removed us to our castle.

‘I would certainly enjoy becoming known to that stallion.’

Howls of frustration accompanied our magic as it wove throughout the forest..

‘That was a good one! I must remember it.

‘I feel defiled just hearing this filth.’

The stallion and his herd had arrived, and the stallion had resumed his banter. While I wouldst have enjoyed the experience, mine other most certes did not. We howled in rage as we charged into battle, forsaking even the most basic of subtleties. Twould be a lie to deny that this brought me a form of satisfaction for its own sake.

The stallion met our charge with his own, countering our greater strength with his greater mass. He was no great warrior, but with Nightmare enraged beyond reason he was able to maintain control of the battle. Quite wisely, he kept the encounter as close as possible. He also took every opportunity to molest our person. One must expect one’s tail to be pulled during close combat, but I have never had my tail hole licked in the process.

Throughout it all, this unnamed pony kept up a constant string of comments. In retrospect, I shouldst have foreseen the culmination of the first act of our conflict.

"Your resistance makes me harder!" He shouted as he reared up, and with a strange twist he dropped from his sheath. It was like being hit by a buffalo warclub. A slightly wet warclub.

“Thou didn’st.” I reached up and touched the sticky dampness on mine visage. “Thou did.”

The Nightmare erupted in a fit of rage. We spun and, with a far more traditional act of combat, shattered the stallion’s jaw.

Despite the Nightmare being incoherent in our head, I was enjoying everything about this combat. Would that there were such viril stallions in every conflict... had I ever battled such a worthy opponent? I would not have credited him with such honor, but his return blow flung us across the room.

“FUCKING FIRE THE GODDAMN FRIENDSHIP LASER!!”

That the stallion could still somehow talk with a broken and dislocated jaw paused our combat, only for us to struggle in earnest as Nightmare saw the true danger... “Friendship Laser” indeed!

There is no comparing the feeling of Harmony’s power washing over and through oneself. I was filled with peace, hope, fear, and so much more as both us and our gallant opponent were enveloped in light. My own power was unraveled, and the chains that had bound me for ages beyond counting fell away.

Finally! I was finally free!

And my Nightmare was returned to the depths of my mind, where it would stay until my darkness was needed once again.

5: Aftermath

Author's Note

Just doing so general cleaning up, getting ride of some [/hr]s and such. Decided to color Celestia and Luna's words in Orange (not Applejack Orange though) and Blue (Not Rainbow Dash Blue) for the sisters.

5: Aftermath

<<>>

From everything Twilight had gathered about Steel everypony seemed to think he’s a perfectly friendly if frustrated eccentric. Though when Steel whispered to her that he’d distract Nightmare Moon she was expecting anything… but that.

Eccentric? The stallion is bloody insane!! And she’s pretty sure even the crassest of mares all liquored up would never be that hideously bold and shameless!

He bucking COCKSLAPPED Nightmare Bucking Moon for Celestia’s sake!!

“STEEL!” Regardless of his very questionable mental health he still risked his life to buy them time.

That snapped the others out of their dumbfounded daze and they all galloped to the downed giant. He was laying spread eagle and everything was in plain view. Fluttershy gasped, Rarity made an appreciative hum, and Applejack just looked dumbfounded.

“Holy horseapples…” Dash cursed, “That’s not a dick… that’s a damn battering ram…”

Twilight… really didn’t want to know what Pinkie was thinking. Instead she focused on Steel, his eyes were open but blinking out of sync and looked dazed. And amazingly enough his jaw looked like it had healed as well, possibly due to the overflowing harmonic energies?

It was a common enough phenomena, but she had never heard of it happening so quickly or smoothly.

“Steel? Can you hear me?” Twilight asked as she stabilized his head.

He blinked owlishly before he… tried to look at Twilight. His eyes focusing two inches above her head to the right by three inches.

“I HAVE TASTED THE RAINBOW AND IT TASTED LIKE BRAZZLEBERRY!”

“Oh! I’ve had those! I still like snozberries better though.” Pinkie replied.

"Oh my.” Twilight snapped up and looked to see Princess Celestia with a alicorn filly sort of hiding behind her

“Princess Celestia!?” There was a quick rush to bow from all the mares to the Solar Monarch, bar a still dazed Steel.

Though honestly Twilight personally doubted he’d bow even if he could, he struck her as the “buck tradition” sort of stallion. Honestly she felt sorry for any mare (or stallion if he swung that way) that herded with him.

“Please Twilight don’t bow.” Celestia said with a motherly smile though she kept an eye on the still prone Steel, “You and your friends have done me a service and reunited me with my sister. If anything I should be bowing to you for what you and your friends did.”

Before Twilight could start protesting there was a moan and Steel rolled over.

“Fuck me running… why did I think holding Moonie for a Rainbow Laser facial was a good idea?” Twilight looked like she was ready to either strangle the stallion or faint, “And why does everything taste like brazzleberries? The fuck are brazzleberries anyway??”

“They’re fruits native to the Dreamlands and are exotic treats.” A filly-sized Luna answered, “Don’t Dreamwalkers still import exotic foods Tia?”

“No, after your,,,” Tia just looked pained before continuing, “The Dreamlands became too dangerous for Dreamwalkers. And over the centuries the teaching eventually was forgotten. There hasn’t been a Dreamwalker for three hundred years now.”

Luna looked horrified for some reason but Twilight figured she’d be upset if she were in her place. To know your domain has become so dangerous would upset anypony.

Steel just grunted again before he managed to push himself up stretching, which filled the air with various bones popping like a firecracker. He twisted his neck side-to-side getting another loud crack followed by a relieved sigh.

“So… sup Sunbutt?” Steel drawled.

Twilight’s eye twitched and her ears started flicking erratically while her new friends slowly backed away.

<<>>

[FrIeNdShIp!]

“That… isn’t good I think…”

“Sunbutt?” Celestia snorted, “Haven’t heard that one since my sister and I were foals.”

Luna was just giggling, though despite her amusement I could clearly see she was looking at me with interest that wasn’t connected to what I called Celestia. Glancing over I saw Rarity (the minx) looking amused, Rainbow (the damn cocktease) laughing, and Applejack (cowpony pinup mare) was covering her face with her hat, and Fluttershy (smole adorable potential sexkitten) just looked… like she honestly didn’t know what to do.

“Well they are very eyecatching and if anypony says you need to loose weight they’re either gay or dead.” I said with a cheeky grin, “I certainly wouldn’t mind motorboating dem cheeks!~” Oh that got a blush!

Ha!

And that made Fluttershy faint and Rarity roll her eyes.

“Steel darling, please restrain your crudeness. For Fluttershy if nopony else.” She said with a quirked brow.

“Only because you make clothes that make me look sexy.” Steel retorted with a cheeky grin.

“As interesting as this is perhaps we should go somewhere else to talk?” Celestia suggested raising a brow in amusement, “And if you restrain your crass behavior Mr. Steel I just might allow you to kiss my flank.” She added with a smirk.

Twilight looked like she was about to have a stroke at Celestia's words while Luna just rolled her eyes. The others looked shocked as well. I, however, must’ve looked very interested in her offer. Seriously if she got me to bust a nut in a way that doesn’t involve a tail, magic, hoof, wing, or oral I’ll eat her goddamn ass out!

My balls throbbing angrily at the tease and it was only bullheaded stubbornness that stopped my boner from returning from the dead!

“So, how are we getting out of here?” I asked, “I really don’t want to go through the forest again. And if that Steve hits on me again I might get a little violent.”

Celestia just rolled her eyes before there was a bright flash.

I shook my head and looked around, “Library huh? Fair enough. Wonder if Pinkie has any more punch left. I’m thirsty as hell.”

“You’re not the only one.../You’re not the only one…” I’m pretty sure Celestia and Luna muttered that as they watched me.

“Here you go Steely!~” You know, I’m not even going to question it.

Taking the glass I gave her a quick nuzzle before I slugged it down like it was a shot of liquor.

“You know partner that’ve been more impressive if that was some of Berry’s Brew.” Applejack said dryly.

“I know. Don’t care. Spent thirty minutes fighting a hyper-aggressive virgin.” Oh that got a snort from Celestia and a cackle from Luna.

The others either sputtered (Twilight and Rarity) or guffaws (Rainbow, Pinkie, and Applejack). Fluttershy was still out cold and laying on the couch. I looked over and Luna was laughing so hard tears were in her eyes! Was it really that funny?

“Sister. You know technically that makes you a virgin as well.” Celestia said dryly.

“I know.” Luna wiped her eyes, “But by no fault of my own. You just kept grabbing the ones I was interested in. However living vicariously through Wet dreams kept me satisfied and stopped me from hating my insatiable sister.”

“I wasn’t that bad.” Celestia said with a huff, “You’re problem is that everypony you were interested thought you were too out of their league.”

“Like you were any better!?” Luna retorted hotly.

“Well, I am more approachable.” Celestia replied tilting her head, “After all you are “The Night” not to mention a Warrior Goddess in your own right.”

“... Sunny Harlot!”

“Petite Shortstack!”

“Glutton!”

“Voyeur!”

“Molestia!”

“That was only one time! You swore you would never bring that up again!?” A flustered Celestia exclaimed, “You, Eternal Virgin!!”

I… just took a seat beside the girls and watched this fascinating back and forth between sisters. I could clearly see no matter how deeply their remarks cut they still loved each other deeply, though that Molestia comment made me curious about how deeply their love was.

“Peanut Butter bits?” Pinkie offered.

“Sure.” I said taking a hoofful of what clearly were Reese Pieces and popping them in my mouth.

“So… how’s that Welcome party coming, Pinks?” I asked curiously.

“You’re a pain in the flank.” She replied bluntly, “Nopony has ever given me such a hard time. But you’re alright for an extra-dimensional alien.”

I just looked at her before shaking it off.

“Just… don’t question it.”

[Agreement]

“Oh! You’re back! Feeling okay there?”

[Affirmative]
[Curious]
[Query]

“Well we got hit and possibly fried by a Rainbow Laser of Friendship. Pure Harmonic energy.”

[Contemplation]

“Well you have fun bud. Just tell me if I’m about to start shitting out rainbows or something.”

[Snort]
[Amusement]

Eventually everypony left to make arrangements for some transportation back to Canterlot (Celestia), their respective homes (Rainbow, Pinkie, Applejack, and Fluttershy) though not before Rainbow told me how “Metal” I was for getting into a hooffight with Nightmare Moon, and a Inn (Twilight and Spike) leaving me and a very smole Luna alone.

“I want to thank you Steel.” Luna said with a faint smile, “I’m not sure if the Elements would’ve worked without you distracting my Nightmare.”

“No problem. And err… sorry for the whole cockslapping thing. To be honest it seemed like a good idea.” She must never know about the bucket list, “And what do you mean by “My Nightmare” exactly?”

Luna just snorted in amusement.

“Steel, in the past I’ve been called a Dream goddess. And I pretty much admitted to living vicariously through sex dreams. Trust me a cockslap is positively tame in comparison to some of the dreams I’ve experienced.” She said wiggling her brows, “And well… maybe I’ll tell you some day. Perhaps over a drink.”

“Are you asking me out Princess?” I said with mock-awe, “I’ll have you know if you plan on getting me drunk before you take advantage of me you really don’t have to work that hard. I’m pretty easy honestly.”

“O-Oh?” Luna asked, flustered by my words.

“Yeah. You have no idea how bucking frustrating it is to be surrounded by mares and none are willing to bang!” I growled in frustration, “Seriously. Six months. The most I get are either hoofjobs, blowjobs, magicjobs, wingjobs, and there was that one time a mare hoofed my prostate. But everypony sees my hardon, they nope the buck out of the thought of me sticking it in!”

“Ooohhh that does sound unpleasant.” Luna said, “And I do understand to a degree.” She added with a thoughtful look on her face.

I just smiled at finally having somepony that actually understood my frustration.

And from their conversation just flowed from topic to topic, mostly me updating her on modern-day Equestraia. Needless to say, some topics left her very irritated and upset.

“On one hoof Nightmare Night mocks my Nightmare savagely, but on the other… it sounds fun.” Luna said, “I find myself at a loss at how to feel.”

“I think you should just accept it.” I answered, “Nightmare night’s been a thing for centuries. Trying to change it would be an exercise in futility. Besides who says you can’t have fun with it? I myself already have a costume designed! Rares has been helping me with it.”

“Oh? Actually how do you know Generosity?” Luna asked curiously.

“Can you at least use their names?” I asked, “But she’s asked me to model for her as she’s never worked on anypony my size before. And I indulge her when she feels like playing dress up. She also pointed me to Sweet Apple Acres when I first came to town. We’re pretty good friends, and I’m lucky to have such a generous not to mention an attractive friend.”

“Oh? So is she in a herd with you? Proves she’s not as foolish as everypony else in this town at least.” Luna said dryly.

“No, we just hang out. I think it’s the emotional connection she craves more than physical intimacy. Personally though I think she’s testing me. She’s sort of picky.” I answered, “And I should hope not. Granted I haven’t told her about my unique magic but I’d hope she would dismiss it instantly.”

“Unique magic?” Luna asked with some interest.

“Yeah. But… a stallion needs to keep a few secrets.” I said with a smirk, “Though given how cute you are I imagine you’re breathtaking when you’re back to normal. So you can wait until then to pry my secrets out of me.” I added giving her a nuzzle.

Luna’s coat turned red and I was amused. So experienced yet not, god I’m going to enjoy making her blush as much as I can!

“Y-You!!” Luna just punched me in the shoulder making me laugh.

5: (1st POV version) Aftermath

From my earlier hypothesis, I had suspected that any “distraction” that Steel could provide would be unusual. So when he convinced me to allow him to draw Nightmare Moon’s attention, I expected more of that weird flirting, perhaps an argument...

What I bore witness to was one part comedy act, two parts wanton violence, and nine hundred ninety seven parts pure sexual assault. Steel Calvary took the crazy that all Ponyville ponies seemed to share, mixed in a metric ton of perversion, and came up with pure insanity!

I felt sorry for that mare. I felt sorry for NIGHTMARE MOON because of the things he did to her!

I’m not proud of how long it took me to unlock the Elements of Harmony. It took almost a half hour before I figured out that the key was the newborn friendships that I shared with the girls who stuck by us.

But Steel’s distraction, for all its vulgarity, worked impeccably. In all that time, Nightmare Moon never even glanced our way.

“STEEL!” I’m not sure who called out. It may even have been me. That shout galvanized us to rush to ensure he was all right. Despite everything we had just witnessed, this pony had put his life on the line challenging a goddess just to buy us time.

He had fallen with his back to us, seemingly knocked senseless. His mouth was open, his tongue hung out, and... he was erect. I have no idea why or even how he was presenting after having several bones broken, being tossed several yards, and finally being purified by the Elements of Harmony.

The reactions to this were as varied as the ponies that witnessed it. Fluttershy gasped. Rarity gave an appreciative hum. Applejack just raised an eyebrow.

“Holy horseapples,” Dash cursed. “That’s not a dick… that’s a battering ram.”

I really didn’t want to know what Pinkie was thinking with that expression, instead I focused on Steel. His eyes were open but unfocused and, amazingly enough, his jaw looked like it had healed completely

A body healing itself when saturated with magic was not unheard of, but when it happens it’s rarely quick, and almost never clean. This was almost perfectly... harmonious... oh.

“Steel, can you hear me?” I asked as I stabilized his head. His eyes were blinking out of sync, and he was having trouble focusing. But he seemed to be regaining his senses.

“I HAVE TASTED THE RAINBOW! IT TASTES LIKE BRAZZLEBERRY!”

Scratch that. At least he was capable of vocalization. I can only hope rational thought will follow.

“Oh! I’ve had those! I still like snozberries better though,” Pinkie replied. You know, I’ve come to appreciate that mare over the past few hours. But sometimes I’m not sure if she is being serious or not.

"Oh my~” The familiar voice of my mentor pulled my attention away from Steel. Everything that had happened, all the stress and confusion of the last day... it all hit me at once. I ran up to her and, forgetting all propriety, embraced my Princess.

“Princess Celestia!?” The other girls were quick to bow to the Princess, and I only now noticed the smaller alicorn behind her..

“Please, my little ponies, don’t bow,” Princess Celestia said with her motherly smile. “You and your friends have done Equestria a great service, as well as reuniting me with my long absent sister. If anything, I should be the one bowing to you.”

[FrIeNdShIp!]

‘That… was not one of my more brilliant ideas.’ My senses were right fucked, all the inputs were hopelessly scrambled, and honestly… it was a little frightening. I could tell ponies were talking but all I could make out was a droning, and... ahh, okay I could see again. ‘Oh… that’s a nice view to wake up to....’ All the girls but Twilight were bowing to a horse of a pony. And just happened to be facing away from me while my head was on the ground.

Her name was right on the tip of my tongue, I just can’t seem to recall it. Possibly my memories were scrambled as well. And [CPU] is still… glitched, so I’ll just have to do a manual defrag and a quick reboot when I have some time. That should get everything back in working order!

Ah well, Big White over there is telling them to get up. All good things and all that. As I tried to get up myself, my vision went sideways.

Mental note. Face Tanking a Friendship Rainbow is a bad idea and never do that again.

“Fuck me running… why did I think holding Moonie for a rainbow facial was a good idea?” I think I caught Twilight off guard. She started choking and looked ready to strangle me. “And why does everything taste like brazzleberries? The fuck are brazzleberries anyway?”

“They art fruits native to the Dreamlands, and quite sought after as exotic treats.” A filly-sized ...Luna? I think her name was Luna, answered. “Dreamwalkers hath imported such riches since time immemorial.”

“Not quite.” Tia? No, Celestia. That’s right. Anyway, she just looked pained before continuing, “The Dreamlands have become unstable in recent centuries. It is now too dangerous for Dreamwalkers to venture too deep. And over the course of time, even the teachings have been forgotten. There hasn’t been a Dreamwalker for three hundred years.”

Luna looked horrified for some reason, which I suppose kind of made sense. Isn’t that her home turf or something? Hearing that your backyard is now deadly to the neighborhood kids would suck.

I groaned as I managed to get to my feet. And just noticed that I had been on full display. Oh well, with [CPU] still in lala land I couldn’t just pack it away, and I can’t be arsed to reel it in manually. So, I guess the royals will get a show. A few quick stretches filled the air with the sound of popping joints. I’ve always enjoyed the look girls get when I do that.

“So… sup Sunnybuns?” I drawled.

Twilight’s eye twitched and her ears started flicking erratically while her new friends slowly backed away.

“Sunnybuns?” Celestia snorted, “Haven’t heard that one since I first got my cutie mark.”

My nickname for her sister had Luna giggling, though I think I caught her sneaking interested glances. Glancing over I saw Rarity (the minx) looking amused, Rainbow (the damn cocktease) was laughing, Applejack (cowgirl pinup) was covering her face with her hat, and Fluttershy (smole adorable sexkitten) just looked… like she honestly didn’t know what to do.

“Well, that is the roundest rump I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing, and anyone who doesn’t admit it’s hot is either gay or dead..” I said with a cheeky grin, “I certainly wouldn’t mind getting between dem cheeks!~” Oh that got a blush!

Ha!

And that made Fluttershy faint.

“Steel darling, please restrain your crudeness. For Fluttershy if nopony else.” Rarity said with a quirked brow.

“Only because you make clothes that make me look sexy.” I retorted with a cheeky grin.

“As interesting as this is, we should perhaps make our way back to Ponyville.” Celestia suggested, “And if you can restrain your behavior for a few hours Mr. Steel, I just might allow you to kiss my flank.” She added with a smirk.

Twilight looked like she was about to have a stroke hearing that, while Luna just rolled her eyes. The others looked shocked as well. I, however, was very interested in her offer. Seriously, if she got me to bust a nut naturally, I’ll eat her goddamn ass out!

It was only bullheaded stubbornness that stopped my boner from returning from the dead!

“So, how are we getting out of here?” I asked, “I really don’t want to go through the forest again. If that Steve guy hits on me again I might get a little violent.”

Celestia just rolled her eyes before the world vanished in a bright flash.

I shook my head and looked around, “Library huh? Fair enough. Wonder if Pinkie has any more punch left. I’m thirsty as hell.”

“You’re not the only one...” Not sure I heard that right, but I know it came from more than one pony...

“Here you go Steely!~” You know, I’m not even going to question it.

Taking the glass I gave her a quick nuzzle before I slugged it down like it was a shot of liquor.

“You know partner, I don’t think Berry got to that batch.” Applejack said dryly.

“I know. Don’t care. Need some fluids, I just spent over an hour fighting a hyper-aggressive virgin.” Oh that got a snort from both Celestia and Luna.

The others all had their own reactions, either joining the sisters in laughter like Rainbow, or sputtering in indignation like Twilight. Which was funny all on its own. I’m kinda curious about how Fluttershy would take all this, but she was still out cold. I might have broken Luna though, she was cracking up so hard she was crying! Not sure it was that funny. Maybe she’s punch drunk??

“Sister. You know he’s calling you a virgin as well,” Celestia said dryly.

“I know,” Luna said as she wiped her eyes, “Tis no matter. Even ‘ere the Nightmare took me, I was a off put from the frequent fantasies I witnessed. Thy annoying habit of poaching mine conquests helped not. ”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Celestia said with a huff. “And I can hardly be blamed for being more approachable..”

“Mayhaps a bit too approachable!” Luna retorted hotly. “Do you still let stallions sniff after thine tail daily?.”

“Well,” Celestia replied tilting her head, “Better to have a few too many ponies trying to get under my tail than live as a frigid Warrior Goddess.”

“You... Sunny Harlot!”

“Tiny twig legs!”

“Glutton!”

“Voyeur!”

“Molestia!”

“That was only the one time! You swore you would never bring that up again!?” A flustered Celestia exclaimed, “You Eternal Virgin!!”

I… just took a seat beside the girls and watched this fascinating back and forth. No matter how weird or nasty the insults got, they were both smiling with tears in their eyes. I think that this might just be some sibling bonding slash healing that they really needed. I could clearly see that they still loved each other deeply. Though that Molestia comment made me very curious.

“Peanut Butter bits?” Pinkie offered.

“Sure.” I said taking a scoop of what looked like Reese Pieces and popping some in my mouth. Tasted like them too.

“So… how’s that welcome party coming, Pinks?” I asked curiously.

“You’re a pain in the flank,” She replied with a smile, “Nopony has ever given me such a hard time. But you’re alright for an extra-dimensional alien.”

I just looked at her before shaking it off.

“Just… don’t question it.”

[Agreement]

“Oh! You’re back! Feeling okay there?”

[Affirmative]
[Curious]
[Query]

“Well we got hit and possibly fried by the Rainbow Laser of Friendship. Pure Harmonic energy.”

[Contemplation]

“Well you have fun bud. Just tell me if I’m about to start shitting out rainbows or something.”

[Amusement]

Eventually the party had to end. Celestia went to make arrangements for her and Luna to return to Canterlot, and the girls said their goodbyes and headed home. Rainbow had something interesting to say though.

“You know, I may sometimes think of you as a perverted weirdo,” She said with the most honest and direct expression I’d ever seen on a pony, “But you were really awesome today. And you going toe to toe with Nightmare Moon was downright metal.” I really don’t know how to take that. Not that Rainbow gave me a chance to reply. She just took off as soon as she was done.

I took off as well, leaving the library to Twilight and Spike, since a very smol Luna decided to accompany me.

“I wish to thank you Steel,” Luna said with a faint smile, “I am unsure if the Elements would’ve worked without your distraction of my Nightmare.”

“No problem. And err… sorry for the whole cockslapping thing. To be honest it seemed like a good idea.” She must never know about the bucket list. “And what do you mean by “My Nightmare” exactly?”

Luna just snorted in amusement.

“Ser Steel, in times past I have been known as a goddess of dreams. And this is not untrue. I have waded through every passion and perversion ever dreamed. A cockslap is positively plebian. Though, I must admit, thy actions are not without appeal. Thine own dreams must be truly special. We should compare imaginings sometime,” she said with an eyebrow wiggle. “Perhaps over a drink?”

“Are you asking me out Princess?” I said with mock-awe, “I’ll have you know that if you plan to get me drunk, then take advantage of me... you really don’t have to work that hard. I’m pretty easy.”

“Oh really? For one so loose, you seem to be walking home alone.” Luna returned, cutting right to the source of my frustration.

“Yeah. You have no idea how bucking frustrating it is to be surrounded by mares but none of them want to bang!” I growled in frustration, “Seriously. Six months. I can get an occasional hoofjob, and some other playing around. But when it comes to actual sex? A mare will take one look at my hardon and nope the buck out of there!”

“Ooohhh that doth sound unpleasant.” Luna said, “To be surrounded by such prime mareflesh and unable to partake. Tis a true hardship..” She added with a thoughtful nod.

It felt good to finally have somepony that actually understood my frustration.

As we wandered around the town, our conversation flowed from topic to topic, with a lot of it being me updating her on modern-day Equestria. Some topics left her very irritated and upset.

“I think you should just accept it.” I was saying, “Nightmare Night’s been a thing for centuries. Trying to change it would be an exercise in futility. Besides who says you can’t have fun with it? I myself already have a costume designed! Rares has been helping me with it.”

“Oh? Actually how do you know Generosity?” Luna asked curiously.

“Can you at least use her name?” I asked, “She’s a close friend of mind.”
“No, you mistake me.” Luna looked a bit surprised. “To be recognized by Harmony is the highest honor a pony can attain. Though I hope to one day become friends, until she calls me as such, tis only proper I refer to the Lady Rarity by her highest title, as Generosity.”

I considered that for a few moments, having never really considered that before nodding. I should’ve figured it would’ve been something like that. Talk about an old fashioned mare...

“You’re right. Sorry for jumping to conclusions.” I said before deciding to change the subject slightly, “But she’s asked me to model for her since she’s never worked on anypony my size before, and I can indulge her when she feels like playing dress up. She also pointed me to Sweet Apple Acres when I first came to town and needed work. We’re pretty close, and I’m lucky to have such a generous, not to mention attractive, friend.”

“Oh? So she is courting you? Further proof that Generosity has an eye for quality.” Luna said approvingly.

“No, we just hang out. I think a close friend is more important to her than physical intimacy. Personally though, I sometimes think she’s testing me. She’s sort of picky.” I answered, “And she deserves to be. She’s one of the best ponies around. I do wonder what she would think of my unique magic.”

“Unique magic?” Luna asked with some interest.

“Yeah. But… a stallion needs to keep a few secrets.” I said with a smirk, “Though you're super cute right now, and if Moony and Tia are any guide to the future, you’ll be breathtaking before long. I’ve got to have a few secrets that you can pry out of me once that happens!” I added, giving her a nuzzle.

Luna’s coat turned red and I was amused. So experienced, yet in some things not. God I’m going to enjoy making her blush as much as I can!

“Y-You!!” Luna just punched me in the shoulder making me laugh.

(Sidestory) Steel's First Song!

Author's Note

This is my first song thingy! :pinkiehappy:
The "Bring me a Dream" from the original version of RoAM doesn't count as my co-auther made it.
I hope everyone enjoys this though!

Edit: Takes place between 6 and 7.

(Sidestory) Steel's First Song!

<<>>

The day after Moonie was defeated… well things didn’t return to normal, who am I kidding? The “Mane Six” had become overnight celebrities/savoirs and even I wasn’t exempt from that even though I largely provided distractions.

Though I think somepony (Rainbow sneezed before returning to her bragging/working) had been bragging. I wonder who that could be?

I snorted in amusement before I trotted through the marketplace looking for something to have for supper. God it sucks living in a primarily vegetarian culture, it really did. I think I’d have to go to the Griffon nation if I wanted a thick medium-rare steak or a heart attack on a bun (aka hamburger).

Oh well… at least I can sneak in some meat. Mostly just fish but well… everypony thinks I dragged the dead manticore back to the Everfree.

Nah, I carved that bitch up!

[MuSiC]

Oh dear… this is going to be a thing isn’t it?

<<>>

When the Music of Harmony took hold it was very obvious, they would freeze (no matter what they were doing) and the bigger the magic the more ponies were drawn in and connected to it. Though the MoH has always been unusually strong in Ponyville so seeing the entire town burst into song and dance wasn’t that strange in all honesty.

It all started when the local giant (and official madcolt) Steel froze midtrot, his ears flicking to a beat only he could hear.

A beat that everypony began to hear when Vinyl rolled up in her "wubmobile".

Then Steel’s head started to bob to the beat, and Vinyl grinned widely.

The beat increased and Steel started to resume his trot, through now he was swaggering to the beat of the music!

“Oh yeah!” Vinyl exclaimed.

Here we're running on empty down this road
We're hanging on and we can't let go
We're leaving the world we know behind
Leaving the real life out of mind

Steel’s usually deep (though some mares described it as chocolate ear rutting) voice smoothed out and soon the entire square was joining in on a dance sequence. Vinyl was having the time of her life as she kept the music going, wanting nothing more than to see this to the end!

“I live for this!” Vinyl’s grin took on an almost maniacal tone to it, the mare seriously loved her music.

And where we're going
We will find harmony
Tonight we're in a Fictional reality
So let's get started
Our time has just begun
Here we'll discover
We're not the only ones

“What in the world?”

“Shush! It’s Steel’s first song!”

“Wait. Seriously?”

“Yeppers!~”

Oh, don't let it go
Don't let this moment pass you by
Stop, just let it flow
We're here to stay we're gonna rock the world tonight

“While this isn’t exactly my type of music, it certainly is catchy. And I’m rather offended that Steel never tried to sing before! His voice is lovely!”

“O-Oh my…”

“Tarnations… wonder if he can sing mah kinda music?”

Now welcome to the place we call a common ground
This is the place where hope is found
Give yourself a chance to let things go
And let your true techni-colors show

“Wonder if I could get the big guy to work a gig with me sometime? We’d make some awesome music together! Tartarus! I bet even Tavi would love the lug!” Vinyl thought.

The entire marketplace had turned into a pseudo-mosh pit with Steel standing up on a makeshift stage singing like he was born for the music scene!

Now it's our time
We're going to watch the stars align
Hold on tight
We're gonna rock the world tonight
So let's forget about them
Let's only think about us
Now if you take just a step
Oh you'll start running for once If this is all we've got
Then we can make it the best
Let's take the good times
And forget all the rest

The chorus repeated a few more times before the music and the magic started to fade. And soon enough everypony went back to whatever they were doing like nothing happened.

Steel stood on the makeshift stage blinking owlishly.

“The buck was that!?” He blurted out.

Vinyl burst out laughing and the Bearers of Harmony honestly weren’t that far from following suit.

6: Day in the Life of a Giant

<<>>

[Regret]

“I told you bud. I’m not upset at you, I’m still not upset. A little irritated maybe but not upset. Honestly it was fun and at least the Friendship Bukkake was useful. I mean the mana-core is fully repaired and operating above peak efficiency!”

[Agreement]
[Excitement]
[Data]

“Yeah that’s awesome bud. Now if only I had a way to utilize my mana-core externally that wouldn’t involve having a spike growing from my brain and through my skull.”

[Exasperation]
[Data]

“I know okay! I’m just not okay with something attached to my brain that’s exposed okay?”

I heard my CPU grumble before it did whatever it does when it wasn’t paying attention to me, probably playing with all the Harmonics data and trying to uncover the best way to utilize it along with my newly repaired mana-core.

Currently I was doing the promised roofing for Ruby Heart, I was also wearing a mass-negator harness so my hefty ass just doesn’t fall through the roof. Of course it also doubled as a pseudo toolbelt so that’s cool, granted I could easily drive nails (and possibly railroad spikes honestly) with my hoof but look a little professional never hurts you know?

I paused in my work and looked up at the clear sunny sky, say what you will about Dash but she’s a serious mare when it comes to weather management. The forecast said the skies would be clear for the next couple days as well barring any freak weather blowing in from the Everfree. And I just wanna say the Equestrian weather control thing (never mind the Day/Night cycle) still freaks me out a little.

“Mr. Steel! Care to come down for a drink!?” Ruby Heart called, turns out I did know her… I just didn’t remember seeing as I was pretty work-focused at the time.

I looked down to see the single mother with a tray balanced on her back with a pitcher of lemonade and two glasses. Checking my internal temp I decided now wouldn’t be a bad time for a break.

“Sure Miss Heart! Just go set that down and I’ll be down in a jiffy!” I replied before turning to make sure the shingles were properly secured.

“Okay!” I heard Miss. Heart reply.

After a few minutes of inspecting, and removing a nail that bent and replacing it with a straight one, I went to the edge and hopped down. My mass-negator ensured I just landed with a thud instead of a crater. Stretching out I yawned, man the weather is just perfect for a nap!

Pity I had a couple more jobs in line after this. Though maybe after I got to the library to check if any of the furnichure or bookshelves need repair maybe I can sneak in a quick nap before I head over to Rares to do some modeling for her… side business.

“Think you know a pony then *BAM* she takes you to a side room and you see BDSM for days and pink fuzzy shackles.”

Though I couldn’t help but feel like Rares was testing me for something. I mean she deliberately got me aroused and practically dared me, pity for her I have more control then that. I’m really not sure what prize that’s at the end of this game but I’m not going to lose… no matter how much time I want to at times.

Dismissing the thought I trotted over to Ruby Heart who was already pouring some lemonade, and… she flashed me on purpose. God… I wonder how thirsty this mare is? I mean, I get it but honestly. Most mares see my dick and will do anything but let me mount so god… fuck it. Just drink the lemonade and ignore the goddamn cocktease of a single mother.

“Thanks Miss Heart.” I said with a smile as I took the glass.

“Well it’s the least I could do.” She said with a smile.

“How’s Button doing?” I asked curiously.

He’s a nice colt, honestly reminds me of me when I was younger. I was pretty focused on video games and then later anime. So I understood how the kid thinks for the most part, actually I was pretty oblivious at that age too now that I think about it. God, I could’ve lost my virginity in high school if I just paid a bit more attention and wasn’t such a goddamn introvert!

“Oh he’s about as usual.” Ruby Heart said with clear fond exasperation, “More interesting in Ogres and Obilates then fillys. Oh and he’s really eager for the next gaming session and been asking about. Maybe you can set him up with the Crusaders? They’re sweet fillies and I’m sure they’d all get along!”

I just chuckled at the rather… ham-hoofed (I suppose) attempt at matching (or herding) as I took a drink, hmm a bit on the sweet side for lemonade but not bad.

“I’ll try Miss Heart.” I said, “I can’t promise anything though. If anything I think Sweetie and Button do look cute however.”

Honestly I wish I had some pictures of when Button was helping the girls, mostly Sweetie, build their characters. He didn’t try to impose the “correct” way or anything, just walked them through the process, helped them keep their characters balanced, and let them test out to find a style that suited them.

Though I’ll be completely honest I never expected Scootaloo to be a Cleric, Applebloom to me a Nuker Black magic, or Sweetie to be a Rogue Assassin.

I was the DM of course, and I was fairly generous without being a pushover. Though Button had to curb Scootaloo’s boisterousness on occasion, telling her “Never Taunt the Dungeon Master'' as DMs can be very spiteful if they feel offended before then explaining one nightmare of a session that included Snips and Snails.

Now Snips and Snails, they’re not really stupid or even ignormate. They’re actually fairly intelligent and surprisingly observant. It’s just that they’re… gullible as hell and not the swiftest on the uptake, and they have no filters between their mouths and brains. And during a lucky streak they were having I decided to punish them for their arrogance.

And I might’ve let a bit of human morbidity and spitefulness show seeing as I broke their characters down and turned them into gibbering mad husks.

Needless to say they didn’t let themselves get big headed again when I’m DMing!

Chuckling at all the fond memories of playing with Button I shook my head and finished my drink, “Well Miss Heart I’m almost finished. Honestly it was such a small job I think I shouldn’t accept my pay.”

“Nonsense. You’re a working stallion.” Ruby Heart said dismissing my words, “If anything you work too hard even though everypony knows you can take it. You really do need to take a “You” day at least on the weekends. You work harder than the local Guards.”

“Heh, well thanks Miss Heart but I like to keep busy. Keeps my mind from going to strange places.” For the most part it was all true, I just didn’t mention that it helped me vent my frustrations in a constructive manner.

Ruby Heart just sighed, “Celestia, are all Horses as stubborn as you?” It was rhetorical so I didn’t say anything, “Well have some more lemonade and I’ll get your payment.”

“Thank you ma’am.” I said politely as I poured myself some more of the oddly sweet lemonade, probably she added a bit too much sugar?

[Amusement]

<<>>

Ruby just waved as the local giant trotted off to his next job, and when he finally disappeared from her sight she just sat on her flanks and crossed her legs with a huff.

“That Love Honey didn’t even make him twitch!” Love Honey being a potent aphrodisiac that is the strongest that is commercially available, “Honestly I know his barn door doesn’t swing that way, I’ve caught him watching my plot often enough. Is he just that oblivious??”

Honestly she was glad her son was at the arcade, the thought of her beloved colt seeing her conduct herself in such a whorseish manner! Sun and Stars imagine just how the nags would gossip if they found out!

Ruby Heart blushed brightly before she decided to go in and relax. Momma is a little frustrated.

<<>>

“Seriously what is so amusing!?”

[Denial]
[Smug]
[Amusement]

Grumbling I made my way to the Treebary, still shocked that Twilight was allowed to live there but then again it honestly suited her. Sure she’s kind of a stickler but damn if she could unwind and let her mane down I bet she could bucking own the Sexy Librarian look! It’s just a pity she probably never would.

Fanon makes Twilight out to be a bundle of neurosis, borderline out of control OCD, and a smidgen autistic like Albert Einstein was. And I can confirm the OCD thing at the very least, as she sent me a notarized parchment listing everything single thing she needs me to check. Sorted according to priority. Oh and an estimated total she would be paying me using a stipend she gets from being Sunbutt’s prized student and teacher’s pet.

If that isn’t OCD I’ll eat a goddamn saddle! Granted I probably could but well… you know.

Shaking my head I knocked on the door, which was opened by Spike.

“Oh!” Spike turned and yelled “TWILIGHT! THE MAD STALLION IS HERE!!!”

“Well… he’s not wrong…” God if this was an anime I would’ve had such a massive sweatdrop right now.

I was saved by a very… unhinged Twilight and damnit I knew this wasn’t going to be straight forward.

“And I was looking forward to that nap…”

[Amusement]

“Fuck off you smug shit!”

[*Cackles*]

“This is all Twilight’s fault somehow. I just know it.”

“Come on we have a lot of work to do! Come on hurryhurryhurry!” The increasingly volatile Twilight said.

I cracked my neck before I entered, having to duck my head under the door frame.

Why do I feel like I’m stepping into a Mad Scientist's lair?

Oh wait- this is Twilight Sparkle… goddamnit…

“Dear Celestia! You look exhausted darling!” Rarity exclaimed, “I didn’t think that was possible.”

“I had Twilight. In full OCD mode. Micromanaging. Everything.” I said flatly, “So… can we just chill? I really don’t feel up to modeling after that… job.”

Rarity, God (Celestia, Luna, Buddha whatever) Bless her generous heart! She nodded and I headed straight to a couch I specially reinforced to take my weight after I caused the original to collapse. She of course would’ve simply dismissed it but I got her! Asking why I should accept her generosity if she can’t accept mine?

Oh she blushed so brightly after that!

Anyway I just eased down on the couch, not so much as physically exhausted but mentally. I tried not to let my frustration at Twilight get the better of me, I really did. I think I made it almost a quarter through the list before I snapped at her.

I told her that she hired me to do the job and that I’ve done this sort of thing all the time. And I’m not sure if it was my tone of voice or what but she calmed right down and actually shifted around awkwardly before she slinked off to her room.

I didn’t see her for the rest of my time there and I finished a lot sooner than expected. Granted Spike was annoyed but understanding, telling me that he would bring my fee to me tomorrow as he wasn’t allowed to handle large sums of money.

I just nodded, patted the little guy on the back, before I left.

I was pulled from my thoughts by Rarity with a large gallon of ice cream and two spoons.

“Well darling after I’ve had a particularly stressful time I always enjoy a little comfort food.” She said with a pleasant smile.

“Rares you are a Saint and too good for this world.” I said making her giggle.

She sat down beside me and for the next hour we just chilled and talked.

It had been a long day, but damn was it good to be home!

Trotting in I decided to see if any breakthroughs have been made in my mana-core project, sure I could’ve easily gotten the data via wireless update but it’s the little things, the little inefficiencies, that remind me that I’m not just a soulless logical machine.

Trotting in I greeted myself, “So any breakthroughs?”

“Nope. Sorry, but if we want to start using magic like a unicorn we’ll have to allow one to grow.” Myself said, “But we already knew that didn’t we?”

“Yes… yes we did.” I sighed, “But a guy can hope you know?”

“Well we know the old saying. You can wish in one hand and shit in the other. Guess which will fill up faster?” Myself said cheekily.

“True.” I said, “Well I’m going to get some sleep. Try not to work all night okay?”

Myself just rolled my eyes before turning back to his work.

“God I’m an asshole sometimes.”

[Snark]

“Oh shut up!”

Grumbling to myself I headed to my bedroom to get some much desired sleep. I didn’t dare hope for tomorrow lest I jinx things.

(Sidestory) Dreams

Author's Note

Takes place after Steel goes to sleep in "A Day in the Life of a Giant"

(Sidestory) Dreams

<<>>

Most think of dreams as just nonsensical and random thoughts produced by a sleeping mind, and they’re not wrong in all honesty. But to a skill Dreamwalker or any Dream magic practitioner dreams can reveal many things about the dreamer.

And Luna is no minor practitioner. The Dreams are her Domain as Nightmare are her Others Domain.

However Luna hadn’t recovered fully from having so much of her power dispelled, so the most she could do is to walk the Dreams but couldn’t interact with them as is her wont normally. And there was one Dreamer particular that interested her greatly.

Steel Cavalry; the Mad Stallion, the Nutter, and the Giant.

Those of course being the more polite nicknames the giant had gained.

And while their time together shed a lot of light upon Steel, Luna wanted. No needed to understand more! This is the stallion that saved her from being a passenger in her own body, saved her from watching as all the Dreams she had shepherded for years be snuffed out by an Eternal Night.

And as she walked through these dreams, illogical ones that nopony (except Twilight as she seemed the Mad Researcher type) could ever imagine. She saw things that could only exist in fantasy books. Terrible weapons even the Nightmare would frown upon.

And a mind that never truly slept. One that never stopped. One that calculated, studied, desiccated, every single scrap of information it could get.

It was a mind consisting of numbers and exoteric symbols. Inequine in the extreme and Luna tried to perceive it but couldn’t due to her lack of power, and she doubted she could even if she was at full power.

The mind was alien to her sensibilities, so logical it probably bewildered Discord before he fell to power-induced madness.

The other mind thankfully was much easier to understand, however it seemed to be caught between equine and some sort of primate. Both had similarities but were exact opposites. It both fascinated and frustrated Luna.

Any further exploration of Steel's mind was ended when the Other spoke. Not in words but in concepts, each ‘word’ so thick with information Luna could barely understand.

[Intruder]
[Caution]
[Amusement]
[Get Out]

Luna’s eyes snapped open and she squealed in surprise when she was physically flung from her bed and across the room. Smashing into the far wall she hit the floor with a dull thud and groaned.

It had been centuries since she was so violently ejected from a Dream. It was a rather nostalgic if unwelcome feeling. Her head throbbed reminding her of the time she stupidly tried to headbut a Dragon into submission, something she swore to never do again despite the fact it worked.

Having a month-long migraine taught her to never do that again.

“Princess Luna!” One of Tia’s Day guards called through the door, “I heard some noise! Are you well?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Just distraught over the state of the Dreamlands.” Best is that technically Luna wasn’t really lying either, “Just resume whatever you were doing.”

“As you wish Princess.” The guard replied before falling silent.

Luna groaned as she got up, silently demanding her body to return to its former full-grown glory (maybe a little taller?), before she went over to a desk to ponder what she had learned.

“Steel as an alien mind existing alongside him. Is he aware of it?” Luna wondered, “More importantly… is Steel actually a Horse? Is he the result of an imperfect reincarnation? It certainly wouldn’t be the first I’ve seen…”

Luna knew one thing. She would not let this revelation come out, she wouldn’t even tell her sister. She may have been a thousand years out of date but Luna knew her subjects and was well aware of the xenophobia that exists in their society.

If it came out that Steel wasn’t a “proper equine” then herd mentality would take over and he’d be shunned at best and treated as a leper at worst.

“Nothing is ever simple.” Luna muttered with a sigh before she pulled a rope to summon a maid.

Tea.

She needed some nice soothing tea to help her think.

Hopefully Tia had her favorite brew in stock.

7: Steel Master of Tickets

Chapter 7: Steel Master of Tickets
<<>>

“You did what??”

[Reluctance]
[Explanation]
[Justification]

Okay, I can’t really blame him. After all Luna and I had only just met and well… [CPU] has never encountered somepony that could access our shared mindscape. So I understand why he reacted as he did, doesn’t mean I approve of it though. I’m going to have to apologize the next time I see her, or perhaps even tonight if she visits again.

“First of all you’re going to apologize to her. While I find the thought unnerving as well you still shouldn’t have booted her so violently. If she wasn’t an alicorn she might’ve been severely injured.”

[Grumble]
[Sigh]
[Agreement]

I nodded as I headed out and towards town, Pinkie had somehow delivered a request for some repair work while I was asleep. Apparently their ovens were having difficulty and the Cakes wanted to know if they could be repaired or if they would have to replace them entirely. Personally I hoped I could fix them, as I knew it had to be hard raising two foals and dealing with Pinkie.

“Well to change the subject. I’ve been reviewing some history and I’ve realized I’ve been approaching the problem in a decidedly human manner.”

[Curious]
[Query]

“I had been trying to figure out how to use magic like a unicorn and neglected how Earth ponies use magic. While not as flashy they do use magic to tend the land and so on. They also use it in their crafts, Earth pony artificers were extremely respected even before the Unification. And there was nothing more terrifying than an Earth pony on the warpath.”

Seriously, pre-Unification Earth ponies were a force to be reckoned with. There were accounts of Earth ponies weaponizing the very land and nature itself; Geomancers, Druids, Ritualists, and so on. There were even Mad Scientists types as well.

I’d been focusing on using magic like a unicorn. I was missing the obvious. And to be fair I had been being decidedly Earth ponyish what with my mass reduction harness and so on, so why don’t I double down on it? I’ll shift my research into increasing my connectivity to my mana-core allowing magic to circulate throughout my entire body and not just collect within the core itself.

[Interest]
[Curious]
[Excitement]

“Heh, thought you’d like that.” After all [CPU] was all about learning and experimenting, so he’s pretty easy to please honestly.

Forking my mind so I could exchange data via binary with [CPU] I looked up at Sugarcube Corner, the aesthetics of the building still surprised me. I also kept in mind to offer to repair the very obvious bite marks on the side of the building. They were simply too big to be from foals so… probably Pinkie.

Or maybe Berry Punch when she’s particularly sloshed. It could be either realistically.

Shaking my head I entered and without missing a beat caught a speeding Pinkie before setting her down. She pouted at me for interrupting her tackle but I easily ignored it, it certainly wouldn’t have been the first time. Though the first time they both, somehow I still can’t figure out how it happened, in a very compromising position.

Mr and Mrs Cake teased us for weeks afterwards.

“So what’s the problem?” I asked trying, and failing, to sound professional.

But then again I’d love to see somepony keep up a professional facade while Pinkie Pie’s looking up at me with those pretty blue eyes. I swear if they started to water I was going to snatch the mare up and start petting her floof damnit!

“Well turns out all that all the ovens needed was to have their Heat crystal swapped out with a fresh one.” Pinkie said, “Though if you don’t mind could you check for any damaged supports in the walls? Two Earth ponies got into a fight a couple days ago and did some damage.”

I… really wanted to say who the hell would get into a fight in a bakery but I stopped myself. Even after spending six months acclimatizing to pony culture I still find some behaviour confusing. I mean seriously they all acted so human at times (the good and bad aspects of humankind) it just wound up making my head hurt.

Though [CPU] loved those deeply introspective and theological thoughts.

The bastard…

[Smug]

Shut up…

“Sure no problem Pinks.” I said with a smile, “Though I hope you gave those two idiots a good thumping.”

“Yeppers! I showed those two that this little pony isn’t just a pretty face!~” Pinkie said proudly.

I just snorted, those two obviously must’ve been new then. I mean their ignorance can easily be forgiven but yeah. This pretty face grew up on a rock farm and bucked boulders for fun! To just deem her a pretty face is the thoughts of a shallow and possibly terminally ignorant fool. I for one am glad that Pinkie showed them the errors of their ways.

[Snark]

Shut up! I can be melodramatic if I damn well want!

[😛]

Did… that’s the first time [CPU] emoted at me.

Huh… well I should get to work but first…

“Say Pinks? You know what everyponies talking about?” I asked, “I think I heard talk of tickets?”

“Oh! Twi got some tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala!” Pinkie explained, “Everypony is super excited cause she has one other ticket for an extra!”

“Hmm, well it’s none of my business.” I said, “Well I should get to work.”

“Okay Doki Loki!” Pinkie said, “And it will!~”

“Wait. What?” I looked back and… Pinkie was gone.

Oh course…

[Query]

“Don’t. You know what happens wherever you try to logic her! I had to have my entire neck and head resurfaced after the emergency venting boiled off everything above my shoulders!”

[Sheepish]
[Apology]
[Reluctance]

“I know and I certainly don’t hold it against you. But let’s… try to figure out how to make our cooling systems stupidly robust before trying that again okay?”

[Agreement]
[Speculation]

I just chuckled faintly before I got to work.

The job didn’t take that long honestly, most of the damage was cosmetic, but it never hurts to check. Especially if Pinkie is throwing idiots around as the mare couldn’t control her strength nearly as well as myself.

The Cakes were grateful and gave me my fee as well as a basket with a fresh dozen assorted small cakes. I thank them before leaving with my pay and bounty of baked treats.

Though I was stopped in the middle of the street by a very harried looking Twilight.

“Hide me! Please!!” She begged.

I blinked owlishly but nodded, “Sure I guess… we’ll go to my place and you can explain why you look so stressed.”

Twilight just nodded and we made our way out of town.

I closed my door and turned to Twilight, sitting my basket of baked goods on a side table.

“Okay, now why are you so stressed?” I asked tilting my head momentarily entertaining the thought of teasing her but decided not to.

Twilight proceeded to hit me with liberal amounts of verbal diarrhea. But the gist of it was the girls (sans Pinkie oddly enough) were getting pushy and wanted to be Twilight’s extra. I listened as she vented with a patient ear as I led her into my sitting room and sat her down.

“Okay you can hide here for awhile. Pinkie will have the girls gather at the library and we’ll both go and I’ll keep things calm.” Twilight looked puzzled for a moment, “Don’t bother trying to logic Pinkie. I try not to think too hard about what she does. Now you sit here and I’ll get you something to drink, I hope you don’t mind Rosebud tea.”

“Oh! That would be wonderful, thank you.” Twilight said as she slowly relaxed.

<<>>

Twilight didn’t have a good opinion of Steel, sure he’s polite and helpful but he was so terribly rude to the Princesses! The fact that the Princesses actually enjoyed his personality just boggled her mind (and she might’ve had a tinsy nervous breakdown in private) but saying that Steel also showed Twilight something she never actually thought or ever considered.

The Princesses were ponies too. For all their power they were still fundamentally mortal in mind if nowhere else.

Seeing the two sisters snipe at each other with amusement and laughter in their eyes awed Twilight, and it reminded her of her own playful spats with her overprotective sister! She fondly recalled their arguments that would have her foalsitter and Gleaming’s marefriend Cadence rolling on the floor laughing histarically.

Granted after Cadence recovered she would give both sisters a tongue lashing. Twilight for her vulgar language and at Gleaming for teaching Twilight such vulgar language.

“... Candy must never know I learned most of that from Princess Celestia’s personal guard…”

Who, after her recent realizations, probably learned them from Princess Celestia. And isn’t that a mindbuck? The motherly, gentle, and kind Princess Celestia. But when she let’s her mane down she’s crass, crude, vulgar, and extremely trollish.

“Wait. No, her trolling is well known.” Shaking her head Twilight looked around, “I wonder if Steel has ever invited anypony in before?” She wouldn’t deny… the thought of being the first in Steel’s home made her feel giddy for some reason.

Honestly Twilight really wanted to explore and look around, and eventually her curiosity got the better of her as she set off to look around. After all her sister had always said, usually after doing something stupid and getting in trouble with their parents, that it’s easier to beg for forgiveness then to ask for permission.

<<>>

“Having fun Twilight?” I asked dryly.

The mare looked up surprised looking like she got caught with her hoof in the cookie jar. I leaned in and saw she was reading some schematics for some prosthetics, really just some busy work really not sure if the hospital would go for it or not, and I sat her tea on the table.

“Don’t worry.” I said cutting her off, “Honestly I expected it really. So thoughts?”

“Are you an artificer? These are incredible!” Twilight exclaimed, “Do you have any idea how much these could help the disabled!?”

“Yeah. Though I didn’t think they’d be accepted given how slow ponies are to accept new things.” Twilight looked at me like I was stupid.

“The traditionalists would kick up a snit but honestly they can bitch and moan all they want.” Twilight said, “Princess Celestia demands the best care for the disabled and crippled, and if the traditionalists want to have these removed they can take it up with her!”

I… admittedly never really considered that. Yeah, I derped that pretty hard honestly.

“Huh, perhaps you could arrange something then.” I tilted my head, “... Why are you looking at me like that?”

Why does she smell aroused?

She didn’t answer but she did throw herself at me and kissed me!

I suppose she finds brains sexy or something!

“Okay. Twilight explained the situation to me and I’m kinda disappointed.” I said sternly, “Other than PInkie you all pestered Twilight until she had to hide in my house to pull herself together!”

And nothing else happened… Twilight and I didn’t wind up making out or anything! And I didn’t find out she tasted like lavender or that she had such a filthy vocabulary (seriously I actually took notes)!

[Deadpan]

No, I’m not in denial! And shoosh! I’m being responsible and reasonable!

The mares all looked rather ashamed, though Rainbow looked like she was about to challenge me before I gave her a harder glare which caused her to back down.

“Now then. Rares.” I said looking at the abashed fashionista, “Can you explain to me what this Gala is all about?”

“Yes darling.” I did not just smell arousal again, “The Grand Galloping Gala, or GGG for short, is the largest social event of the years. The creme de la creme of society come together to socialize. As such tickets are exceptionally rare to get a hold of and well… I believe we all lost our heads. I’m so sorry Twilight darling, I just got so excited…” She said her ears folded back.

The others voiced their own apologies before they all did a group hug with me watching with a small smile.

“Now. I have a solution for all of this.” I said, “Twilight? Can’t you just ask Celestia to send some tickets for your friends?”

… While I won’t say the resulting facehoof was sexually gratifying, but goddamn that felt so good…

<<<3rd Pony Perceptive>>>

“But… I don’t wanna deal with snooty nobles!!”

Everypony in town look towards the library where the cry came from before they all shrugged collectively and resumed whatever they were doing.

8: A Royal Visit

<<>>

“Really Rares. You don’t have to do this.” I said, “I don’t even want to go damnit!”

“And yet Princess Celestia asked you to escort her sister.” Rarity retorted as she measured me for a suit, “And while I’m sure you have no problems denying her would you really force Princess Luna to go stag?”

I just grumbled but otherwise remained silent.

Rarity poked my flank with a needle and tutted me. Honestly now she was just making me feel like a big foal right now.

“Don’t be like that darling.” She said with a smile, “Besides… think of it like this. You may get a chance to impress everypony with your singing talents~” She added teasingly.

I just gaped as I’d completely forgotten about that and before I could really do anything Rarity resumed her measuring forcing me to remain still. I could still talk though!

“Oh no. No, no, no! Absolutely not! I am not going to sing!” I said vehemently.

“Oh?” I wasn’t liking how coy she was sounding, “What if Twilight or Princess Luna requested it hmm? I don’t know what happened between you and Twilight when she was hiding but things are different. And well you and Luna seemed to be friendly~ starting a herd are we? I do say you shoot for the stars!~”

Rarity just giggled which honestly just made it worse.

“I am not starting a herd! What happened between me and Twi is between us!!” I retorted.

“So… something did happen then? Well nopony likes a stallion that kisses and tells.” Rarity replied, tittering in amusement.

I just stood there slack jawed. She… she baited me! And I took the bait completely! Goddamnit!!

[:V]

“You’re enjoying this way too much.”

“Come back in a few days darling and I’ll have your suit ready for you!~” Rarity called as I trotted as fast as I could away from town.

I think she got off on just how uncomfortable this entire situation was for me. And I’m pretty sure if our positions were switched I’d be exactly the same. But that’s neither here nor there.

Home! I think I’ll just bog my processing speed enough so I can enjoy a nice read. I think I got the latest edition of Playcolt magazine. Not only are the pictures pleasing but the articles can be legitimately interesting!

Though I usually get them late when they do get there. It’s always alongside a small batch of muffins.

Hmm, who ever could be reading my magazines?

Trotting up to my door I frowned slightly when I smelled… what is that? A combination of… nightshade and can’t actually place the second. How curious… but then again other than stopping at Roselucks to pick up some flowers to go along with whatever I make for dinner I never really went out of my way to smell all types of flowers.

I checked and Myself was still in the lower levels doing some experimenting, though he blocked some data from me for some reason.

“That’s not suspicious at all.”

Entering my home and closing the door shut I went about putting things away.

My ear flicked when I heard a snicker.

I just rolled my eyes as I took my saddle bags off.

“So, what brings The Night to my humble home?” I asked, “And would she appreciate something to drink? I’ve got tea, some soda, and I think I have some cider somewhere.”

“Hmm, I think I’ll try some of this soda.” A giggle, “So… you’re gonna ignore the fact that you’ve got a princess sprawled out on your couch?”

“Yes.” I said, “Mostly because she’s technically a little filly. And if I oogle her I’ll have FPS (Foal Protective Services) storming my home screaming “FPS! OPEN UP!!” and arresting me” I quipped.

Luna snorted having been brushing up on local history, and just so happened to read about that particular incident that spawned a meme that was still popular to this day.

I just hummed as I went to the kitchen to get her drink and came back.

“So what can I do for you Lu?” I asked as I hoofed her a Pepperjack cola.

<<>>

Luna didn’t immediately answer, instead focused on sampling her drink and pondered over the circumstances that led to her impromptu visit.

“Perhaps he would understand.” She mused, “Clearly this presence in his mind is a Nightmare of sorts. Curious as Nightmares tend to manifest in the magically powerful or gifted.”

She wondered if Steel ever had to deal with the whispers of his own Nightmare like she and Tia did? Of course ever since the infamous “cockslap” Luna’s Nightmare had been very… sullen if anything. What made it even more amusing is the Nightmare despised Steel and his massive stallionhood with a burning passion but the Nightmare couldn’t hide a smidgen of curiosity as well.

“Perhaps if I knew you wouldn’t attempt to trample him to death I may let you have some fun as well Nightmare.”

The Nightmare just growled and Luna wasn’t going to lie. It kind made her giddy.

Or that could just be a thousand years of frustration and repressed aggression talking.

“I went Dreamwalking last night.” Luna decided to just get it out there, “I’m not strong enough to resume my previous duties. So last night I decided to have a walkabout.”

“Oh? See anything interesting?” Steel asked curiously, “No details though. Though I can imagine how Pinkie’s dreams would go.” He added dryly.

Luna giggled at that, and she made a mental note just to see what that pink pony’s subconscious is like. It promised to be a riot given how she normally acts!

“Very interesting. And rather worrying. However due to my duties I’m much more open minded then most.” Luna said, “And I think I’ll just stop dancing around it, because I think we’d both appreciate it, but are you aware that there's a forigen entity in your mind? I couldn’t comprehend it but it's the single most inequine consciousness I have seen in a very long time. Made of Ones and Zeroes and other bizarre symbols…”

Steel froze midstep, quite literally in fact. It was rather eerie in Luna’s opinion but it only furthered her suspicion that Steel wasn’t a simple Horse. Could he actually be a Nightmare construct? A mask that a hopelessly alien mind hides behind?

She owed Steel enough to give him the benefit of a doubt. She’s been wrong plenty of times in her life after all.

“Ah.” Luna relaxed when he started moving again, “He owes you an apology by the way. I hope you don’t take offense, it’s just that our mindscape is his entire world. And seeing it so suddenly intruded upon made him overreact. I hope you didn’t hurt yourself.”

“Only my pride.” Luna retorted with a faint giggle, “You’re not a normal stallion are you Steel?”

“... No.” Steel said simply, “I trust this doesn’t change things?”

“No, as I said I’m probably the most open minded pony in Equestria.” She said dryly, “Hmm… how about a story for a story? You tell me about your guest and I’ll tell you about my Nightmare.”

Steel tilted his head and for a few moments Luna thought he was lost in thought before she realized he was possibly talking to his passenger. The thought surprised her actually, while not all Nightmares were belligerent (Daybreaker is perfectly polite if arrogant, it's only when she’s provoked did she get mean) they typically rarely ever got along with their “Hosts” for the lack of a better term.

So the idea that Steel and his Nightmare had such a good relationship spoke of promising things!

“Well after talking it over at length.” Luna blinked as it had hardly been a full minute, “I agree. Though before we begin he just wants you to know that he apologizes and if you ever visit again he won’t interfere. Though don’t expect him to be chatty, he’s still unnerved by the whole thing.”

“Understandable and I accept.” Luna said with a smile, “So shall you begin or shall I? Though perhaps get some more of this soda. Tis a wonderful drink! I’ll have to make my own private stock… I mean I like tea fine but I can’t drink it all the bucking time Tia…”

Steel just snorted before he went to the kitchen to get more of the delightful drinks.

Author's Note

This will be my last chapter for awhile.
I'm going to find someone to edit it all before I move on.
I'll be replacing the existing chapters with the editted versions when they're done!

9: Feelings and Letters

Author's Note

Nightmare723764 uses [Words]!
It's Super Effective!!

9: Feelings and Letters

<<>>

Dear Princess Celestia,

I’m sure you didn’t expect a letter from me so soon but currently I’m at a loss, oh also all my friends are enjoying their tickets and are excited. Though Steel seemed to be distraught, as he doesn’t want to deal with “snooty nobles” as he says.

He’s not wrong, but this isn’t the purpose of this letter.

But… recently I may have acted rashly and possibly ruined a friendship through my actions and I don’t know what to do. I keep finding myself thinking about the incident and have trouble focusing on anything! And after trying to figure out who could help me the best I realized you’re probably best suited to giving me some advice.

So please if you can spare the time can you give me some advice?

Sincerely your Student,

Twilight Sparkle

Twilight nodded as she looked over her letter before rolling it up and using a spell to send it off, normally she’d have Spike use his flame but he was out exploring town.

“Or probably trying to get Rarity to notice him”

Poor Spike, it was obvious even to a socially awkward mare such as herself that Rarity was a fillyfooler. Or at least Twilight thought given the rather suggestive comments Rarity made when she was fixing her mane.

Of course she could be completely wrong as well, it wouldn’t be the first time honestly.

“Okay, now I just try to get some work done.”

Twilight pulled out a checklist and started to go over it to see what she needed to do. Sadly however her mind kept drifting back to that kiss…

”Celestia damnit!!"

Groaning in frustration, especially when her marehood started to tingle, Twilight made her way back to her room to take care of matters. Perhaps after she took care of herself she could get some work done?

“Stupid smart sexy stallions…”

But before she could close her door she realized she didn’t mention Steel’s prosthetics!

“Damnit!”

<<>>

“Bucking damnit Lulu! Did you really have to leave without a word?”

Of course Celestia knew where her sister had gone, she would’ve had to be blind and oblivious not to notice just how fond Luna was of her savior and the Humiliator of Nightmare Moon. And Celestia, despite her own feelings on the matter, hoped something would come of it.

Luna deserves some happiness. Especially with having to deal with her surly Nightmare for a thousand years (she was lucky as Daybreaker was content to ignore her for the most part). It also said great things about Luna’s willpower if she could deal with all that aggression and hate for so long without her mind slipping.

Taking a sip of coffee (with a splash of whiskey) Celestia wished for something to distract her, even during her breaks she could still hear the whining of some Nobles ringing in her ears. And while the whiners were the minority they were especially determined to have their complaints be heard.

Though now their complaints were about her turning the Monarchy into a Diarchy with the return of her sister. Many of them thought Luna was still Nightmare Moon and simply waiting for their guard to relax before striking a decisive blow.

*snort*

“Fools the lot of them. They’re more concerned over how this will change their perceived ‘Power’ over the citizens.”

Sometimes Celestia really wondered what she had been on when she thought having nobility was such a good idea. Though in the beginning it really was a good idea, it’s just time has a way of degrading everything.

The Blood family used to be the shining example of what nobles strived to be! Chilverious, brave, courteous, and humble! Stalwart protectors of the realm and explorers that knew no equal! Now look at them.

If Blackblood could see his current descendant Blueblood Celestia had no doubt it would end in violence. Not that Blueblood is a bad stallion of course, he just let his station inflate his ego a little he’s actually quite pleasant.

Though in public it’s the exact opposite. But then again with all the golddiggers he had to deal with on a regular basis? Anypony would be a raging plothole!

*poof*

Blinking she caught the letter with her magic before it could fall, Celestia hadn’t been expecting a letter from Twilight so soon. Curious at what could’ve led to this she unrolled the letter and read through it, ending with a faint amused grin.

“Adorable.”

True be told Celestia worried over Twilight’s introverted nature would stunt her emotional development, though reading about what is clearly a budding crush put many of her fears at ease. Though now she was curious as to what Steel (granted Celestia maybe been biased but who else would’ve gotten a reaction from Twilight?) did to make her kiss him so suddenly?

While she was virtually a second mother to Twilight, Celestia knew very little about what she found attractive in mate. Though given her students cerebral nature it probably involved knowledge in some manner. But still… it must have been something especially surprising to have Twilight act so spontaneous like that.

Taking another sip of her coffee Celestia pondered how to advise her student, and cursed the fact that Cadence was still dealing with the Griffons as she’d be better suited to this problem. Actually Twilight probably realized that herself.

“Well… perhaps suggest she talk to Steel about it? He’s a rational stallion, if you disregard her antics, I’m sure if the two talked they could work things out.”

Matters of the Heart were very much outside of Celestia’s experience despite her various relationships in the past. Which actually made Cadence’s surprise ascendancy a blessing in Celestia’s opinion, though she wasn’t sure if the Alicorn of Love possessed Celestia or Luna’s agelessness. Though she figured that she’d find out in a few decades.

Humming in thought Celestia summoned some parchment and a quill before she started to write a response.

Dear Twilight,

While I was surprised by your rather sudden letter I welcomed the distraction. And upon reading of your dilemma I’m sorry but matters of the heart are outside of my considerable experience. I believe you know that this is something better suited for Cadence however I will try to give you advice.

Said advice is short and simple but… perhaps if you simply talk to this pony in question. I’m sure you both will come to a reasonable conclusion.

Also I’m glad your friends are excited and I’m looking forward to the Gala (for the first time in quite a while mind you) and Steel’s reaction echo’s my own feelings sometimes.

Regardless I hope you and this pony can come to a beneficial arrangement.

Warmest regards,
Celestia

Humming Celestia rolled the letter up and sat it aside, she’d send it after the Day court was over.

10: Lewd Rewards

<<>>

“Hmm, that is… quite a tale. It sounds unbelievable…” Luna said sipping her seventh Pepperjack with a thoughtful look, “But I know you’re not lying. Still… to think an otherworldly golem would cockslap my darker half.”

Seeing Steel giving her a dumbfounded look she snorted in amusement.

“While the Bearer of Honesty can easily see through any lie, it doesn’t mean that is the only way to see through deceptions.” Luna said, “Due to my special talent and my connection to the Dreamlands I see more than most ponies. Ponies only see the physical, I see more. I see magic, emotion, and the soul of whoever I look at. It’s how I knew you were trustworthy and needed somepony other then Gener- er Rarity to confined in”

“I… thank you Princess.” Luna smiled faintly and giggled.

“Though why have you never told Rarity?” She asked curiously.

“Honestly? She never really asked.” Luna gave him a flat look, “Seriously. She did so much for me I would’ve told her whatever she asked. Personally I think she enjoys the mystery though.”

Luna considered that for a few moments before nodding, she had known quite a few in her life that was like that. Starswirl the Bearded and Clover the Clever being chief amongst them.

“Whilst our discussion has been very informative, I had originally come on another purpose, though Tia told me that my form would make that awkward.” Luna said with a sigh, “Not that I don’t understand. Even a thousand years ago rutting a filly my size was frowned on.” Stone nearly choked on his drink.

Luna watched with some worry as Steel cleared his airways with some coughs.

“N-No need Luna. Your thanks is enough…” Steel said awkward.

She snorted, “Such a humble soul. However I need to reward you. You did a service not only to Equestria but for myself and Tia. And I don’t think we’ll ever be able to repay this debt. And as I understand your relationship woes I propose a solution. Granted it’s not the best one but I certainly never complained about it.”

“And that solution is…” Steel asked.

Luna smirked, “Why… the Dreamlands of course. And now that I know your strange Nightmare won’t punt me out of your Dream again…” She just trailed off suggestively.

“But… wouldn’t that just increase how long you’re stuck like this?” Steel asked.

“If the Waking world most certainly.” Luna said, “But in the Dream… my word is law. Barring some of the natives of the Dreamlands but they stay in the deepest depths and rarely venture out of their realm.”

“Okay. Well it’s still a long time before night so…” Luna cut him off with a giggle.

“Sweet silly Steel.” She said with some fondness, “Who says my power only works when the moon is in the sky? A dream, is a dream, is a dream. Time doesn’t matter to a dream.”

“What-” Steel was cut off when he just fell asleep, like somepony had just flipped a switch.

Which she assumed means that his strange Nightmare decided to cut out the middle pony. Giggling faintly Luna closed her eyes as well and entered the Dreamlands, her physical body leaning against Steel.

Luna once again found herself in the misty realm just outside of Steel’s dream, and already she could feel the alien gaze of Steel’s Nightmare upon her.

[Warning]

“I understand.” Luna said in response, though she couldn’t fully understand, she understood a warning when she heard one, “No harm will come to Steel while I’m here.”

The “CPU” didn’t respond but Luna knew that it was still observing her, no doubt weighing her words and gauging her honesty. She couldn’t deny that she felt somewhat intimidated under its gaze, this Nightmare was unlike her own Nightmare or Daybreaker.

They were arrogant, proud, spiteful (Nightmare Moon), and apathetic (Daybreaker) but this Nightmare wasn’t any of those. It felt cold and monotone to her senses with only light splashes of warmth and color. It genuinely cared for and was terrifyingly protective of Steel.

Honestly Luna couldn’t even imagine having a relationship like that with her Nightmare, and she wouldn’t deny she felt slightly jealous because of it.

“Don’t you even think about it, Nightmare.”

[Data]

Luna was pulled away from her chastising her Nightmare when it spoke again.

“Thank you. I won’t betray your or Steel’s trust.” Luna said as she entered.

[Gratitude]

<<>>

“-do you mean? And I’m already asleep.” Steel sighed, “Did he really have to use [Forced Sleep] on me?”

Shaking his head he looked around, despite the familiarity of being in his house he knew something was different. For one he didn’t have an admittedly amusing arrow pointing him towards his basement, and honestly the very human sounds of Bloodhound Gang's "Bad Touch" just made Steel snicker ever so faintly.

“What have you got planned, Lulu…?” Steel muttered as he got up and trotted to the basement, bobbing his head to the song.

Humming along he opened the door and headed downstairs, and if he wasn’t aware he was dreaming before he was now. As what was suppose to be a plan basement with a secret entrance to his underground workshops was a… very well equipped sex dungeon.

With a Luna bound to a spread bar, fully exposed, and looking at him with some amusement.

“You have knowledge of so many strange songs.” She said with a faint giggle, “Though I confess this I find rather amusing.”

“Hmm, well when we wake up remind me to let you see my tablet.” Steel said as he trotted over and started to rub her cutie mark making Luna shiver.

Steel didn’t respond and just continued to trot around Luna like a circling shark. After he completed a full circle he stopped and decided to inspect her marehood. Luna started squirming when he started to tease her.

“STAR ABOVE!” Luna exclaimed when an unnaturally long and thick tongue forced its way into her marehood.

And other than a devious snicker Steel focused on sampling the Princess of the Night.

If Luna thought Steel would be rash to just get her rut in, she would’ve been very wrong. Largely because this is a dream and dream logic is a bitch, so Steel had as much control as he wanted.

“Stop teasing me~” Luna moaned as Steel now services her teats after tongue-rutting her into a surprisingly intense orgasm.

Luna’s right teat just got a particularly strong suck, and by the time Steel was done they both glistened with saliva and were painfully sensitive.

“Now let me see here…” Steel muttered.

Luna felt the dream shifting and she looked up to see what happened only for herself to gape.

Where was once a mare-breaker, for the lack of a better word, a second one was right alongside it. Both of them black as pitch and leaking already, and both shafts look angry.

“Heh… who knew I’d ever be drawing inspiration from Kodachi 3?’

“Stars…” Luna mumbled in surprise, rarely seeing anypony using dream logic to such a degree, even those that were skilled in Dream magic much to her disappointment.

Most just make themselves bigger or change locations. So this was rather… exciting!

It was more out of instinct then any actual pain that caused Luna to shriek when Steel mounted and brutally shoved his way simultaneously invading her plothole and marehood and hilting in one smooth motion.

If this had been the Waking world such a thing would be extremely unpleasant, if Steel’s unique magic wasn’t taken into account of course.

A mirror appeared allowing Luna to look at herself and her eyes widened at seeing her entire waist bulge from the size of the stallionhoods within her. Though she didn’t get too much time to watch as Steel started to move.

And did he move! Like a stallion stuck in the deepest rut. The motions were violent, like Luna had stopped existing in Steel’s mind and there was simply an alicorn-shaped sextoy to use and abuse. And the thought seemed to excite Luna as she grasped Steel’s members.

Which of course made Steel rut her harder. The strength of his thrust had already surpassed what Earth ponies were naturally capable of. One of his cockheads battering her womb like a siege weapon while the other rearranged her insides.

Luna’s eyes, despite her experience, were rolled up and she was breathlessly moaning. She shrieked in delight when Steel reached down and grasped her mane with his teeth and pulled her head up.

“Moan for me!” He demanded.

And Luna obliged easily.

When the end finally came (after who knows how long) it flooded!

Steel put his full strength into his final thrust, invading Luna’s most sacred and private depths, before a veritable flood of cum surged forward. Luna’s eyes nearly bulged both when the hot fluid entered her and the sight of her trim belly swelling with unknown amounts of seed.

Enough to impregnate hundreds of mares no doubt!

Though Luna, at least in a small part of her mind not whited out from sheer pleasure, found it amusing that Steel neighed like the non-magical ancestors of Equinekind.

Seconds turned to minutes and Luna wasn’t sure if it would ever stop, her belly now resembling that of a mare heavy with foals, when Steel surprisingly pulled out.

While he was still cumming. Coating her entire plot, belly, back, and wings with mud-thick musky seed.

Finally when Steel came back to himself, his second cock disappearing, he just chuckled at the bound and bukkaked Luna.

“Oh god… I knew I needed that but damn…” He said with a dopey grin on his face.

“Indeed. Though… I confess I really want to experience that in the Waking world.” Luna said with an equally pleased grin, “I always wondered what it was about being used that mares enjoy, I think I understand now.”

The two just laughed and the dream started to waiver as they returned to the Waking world.

“Steel.” Luna still sounded amused but now it was tinged with some annoyance.

“What is- oh. Umm… oops?” Steel squeaked out.

Luna, Steel, the entire couch, and a portion of his ceiling were liberally coated in a mud-thick white shower. His spent member withdrawing into its furry sheath. And the entire room (possibly the entire cottage really) smelt to high heaven of sex.

“Um… let me show you where the bathroom is and I’ll clean everything up…” He said sheepishly.

Luna just rolled her eyes in amusement.

11: Gossip and Rainbow Spy

<<>>

Rainbow Dash liked to think she is a friendly mare and she is, granted she’s a little rough around the edges but still. And she isn’t as uptight as some of the mares back in Cloudsdale or in Canterlot, at least she didn’t think she was.

That being said… she wasn’t all that fond of Steel Cavalry. Between him spouting nonsensical terms that are supposed to mean something and the fact that he frequently exposes him had Rainbow place the stallion firmly in the rut-hungry pervert category. She didn’t buy the excuses of eccentricity or mental problems.

So the fact that for their first “mare’s day” centered around gossip about Steel Bucking Cavalry just irritated her. Yes, she was well aware of just how helpful he was around town. Yes she was aware that he chased off a Diamond Dog pack that had laid down roots just outside of town a few weeks back. Yes he dealt with a rabid manticore before it could get into town.

Rainbow was very aware of all the good Steel has done. But that still doesn’t excuse him for being a remorseless pervert and freak in Rainbow’s eyes. Sure he might’ve bought them all time to charge the Elements to blast Nightmare Moon but… who the actual buck actually cockslaps somepony!?

Sure Twilight probably wanted to just know more about Steel but Rainbow didn’t see the point. It’s pretty apart, he's just trying to get into every mare's beds!

“Can we stop talking about Cavalry already?” She grumped, “We get it. He’s amazing!”

Rainbow was well aware of the looks she was getting from Rarity and Shy, but she refused to back down. She was tired of talking about that stupid rut-hungry pervert already!

“Now I’m well aware that Steel has his issues but you seem rather irritated darling.” Rarity said, raising a brow, “What did he do exactly to earn your ire?”

“Really!? You don’t know?” Rainbow snorted, “Of course… he’s probably Little Miss Rarity’s pet or something…”

When the entire room fell silent Rainbow realized what she actually said. Looking at Rarity she was going to try and apologize but a single glower stopped her cold. She could only imagine Shy’s expression.

“I may have a reputation.” Rarity said frostily, “But it’s between consenting ponies. And it doesn’t extend outside of private! And not only is Steel simply too willful to submit and be anypony’s “pet” I am his best friend and closest confidant he has besides Ditzy, Big Mac, and Time Turner!”

“Umm… I don’t mean to interrupt but can I ask what Rainbow means?” Twilight asked after a few moments of tense silence.

Rarity looked like she chewed on something sour before she spoke, possibly to keep Rainbow from going on about Steel.

“Some of the more… narrow minded ponies in our fair town.” The unspoken ‘like her’ was clear to everypony, “Have it in their heads that Steel is perfectly aware of what he’s doing and have labeled him a horrible pervert that wants to rut anything. However, I know this isn’t the truth!”

“Oh yeah?” The ever-stubborn Rainbow retorted, “And what’s this “truth” you’re talking about hmm?”

“Have you ever considered.” Rarity almost purred, “That Steel has trouble reading body language? Or that he has an overactive sex drive? I’m well aware that there are mare’s clearly interested in him and have been giving him obvious signs. He just misses the signs completely, and he’s actually confessed that he’s simply gone “buck it” and has decided to virtually go celibate?”

That silenced everypony as they rolled that around in their heads.

Eventually Rainbow broke the silence, “I don’t buy it.” She insisted stubbornly.

“I dunno… it makes sense now that I think about it sugarcube.” Applejack said thoughtfully.

“That’s so sad. I need to throw him a party! But he’s so hard to work with!” Pinkie exclaimed in her usual manner.

“Poor Steel…” Fluttershy mumbled.

Twilight just looked thoughtful as she considered the new information.

Rainbow just grumbled, “Whatever. So… everypony excited for the Gala?” She asked, deciding to change the subject.

“Yes! I’ve actually started designing everypony’s dresses and Steel’s suit!” Rarity graciously accepted the rather clumsy topic change, “Of course I would like everypony’s opinion to make the dresses more suited to your personal tastes.”

“What about Steel?” Fluttershy asked meekly.

Rarity just smiled, “Well Steel as insisted, repeated and loudly, that he doesn’t care. So I decided on something simple. Outside of wearing vests and saddlebags to carry things around Steel has very simple tastes. Though that being said he’s already said he’s going to have an impressive Nightmare Night costume.”

“I wonder if it’ll be impressive like his prosthetics?” Twilight mumbled in thought.

“Pro-what it's now Twi?” Applejack asked.

“Oh! Um… well when I hid at his house I looked around.” Twilight admitted with a faint blush, “And well I found a lot of blueprints for things like prosthetic legs and other things! He could revolutionize the medical field and help a lot of disabled and crippled ponies! And I’m pretty sure I even saw prosthetics for Minatours and Griffins as well!” She added excitedly.

“Huh, never pegged as the Tinkery type.” Applejack commented thoughtfully, “Though I can respect that.”

“Rainbow. I think you should actually give Steel a chance, if you don’t mind that is…” Fluttershy mumbled shyly.

Rainbow just sighed and nodded to her timid friend while Twilight went on about potential medical improvements and other egghead stuff.

”Give him a chance huh?”

Honestly Shy was too good for this world, always giving everypony the benefit of a doubt. But Rainbow couldn’t really deny Shy anything, after all she rarely asked for anything to begin with! And it was only fair seeing as Shy was one of Rainbow’s only friends when they were in Flight school who didn’t tease her or call her Rainbow Crash due to her initial clumsiness.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt. I mean if anything I’ll just validate myself! Though I think I’ll just watch him for a while first.”

Rainbow had followed Steel around for most of the day when he finally did come into town. And despite everything she had heard about the stallion he… really didn’t do a lot that would garner him a reputation as a pervert.

And like Rarity said he completely missed painfully obvious come ons from clearly interested mares giving her suggestion that he doesn’t get body language a lot of credit. And while he clearly had him moments, watching a mare walk away too long being the main one, he never did anything openly perverse.

And when things did get to him, which didn’t happen as much as she initially thought, he’d immediately apologize and excuse himself.

“Ponyfeathers… I hate being wrong…”

Sighing to herself Rainbow decided she owed Rarity an apology, and she is mare enough to admit it.

Though for a few minutes she hesitated as today was one of Rarity’s “me” days and Rainbow had no desire to run into Little Miss Rarity when she was in full form. Even if Rainbow did think she made for a very attractive mare.

She wasn’t gay though… only during particularly bad Heats and only with Shy that is.

12: Pets

<<>>

Fluttershy watched as Steel did slowly rebuilt her chicken coop (the old one finally giving into old age and collapsing), using his hoof to beat in nails instead of his hammer, and couldn’t help but be equally excited and terrified by the giant stallion's presence.

She was momentarily concerned when Miss Wolf, along with the rest of her animal friends now that she thought about it, said that Steel “Wasn’t Right” whatever that meant.

“I wonder what they mean?”

She didn’t think they meant anything bad, though they could also mean how Fluttershy was watching his plot and his sizable testicles. Oh she wished she was brave like Rainbow! Or like Rarity!

Fluttershy had no doubt they wouldn’t be afraid to ask for a good rutting from this giant!

“T-Thank you a-a-again Steel.” Fluttershy stammered.

“It’s no problem.” Steel said as he worked, “It was either this or have to deal with Ms. Heart’s heavy-hooved flirting.” He added dryly with a chuckle.

Fluttershy squirmed wanting to get angry but couldn’t, if anything she was glad that she wasn’t the only pony to see Steel as an attractive stallion! Though the thought of the single mother aggressively flirting with Steel just irritated her, why couldn’t she be like that?

Why couldn’t she just get right in front of him, lift her tail, and tell him to rut her until he was satisfied or she couldn’t take anymore and then just continue?

Fluttershy shook her head to dislodge her perverse fantasies, she really didn’t want to start dripping on the off chance that Steel would notice. And Fluttershy honestly didn’t know what she’d do if Steel did notice, probably make an excuse and hide away in her room and clop maddly.

As usual.

“Hey Shy you’re good with animals. Perhaps you can help me find a pet.” That startled Fluttershy making him chuckle, “Don’t let my size fool you. I’m a sucker for cute animals, unfortunately they don’t seem to like me for some reason.”

Fluttershy nodded as she considered, any lewd thoughts now pushed out of her head as she now found herself in familiar territory. Finding Steel a pet wouldn’t be easy as most seemed to think he “Wasn’t Right” and either shied or ran away from him.

Even Angel Bunny didn’t harass him like he usually does to everypony else.

“Perhaps it's related to what happened with the rabid manticore?” It was certainly possible.

Ponies, despite their magical abilities, are still considered a “Prey” species in the animal kingdom. And probably knowing that somepony that is considered “Prey” was able to put down a rabid apex predator just unnerved them?

“Maybe a baby would be best? They’d adjust to Steel faster. But well they’re a big responsibility…” Not that she didn’t think Steel couldn’t deal with the responsibility.

She had no doubt that Steel would be an excellent father or father-figure, when she went into town she’d talk to Derpy about anything really. And she wasn’t surprised to learn that precious little Dinky called the giant stallion Unca Steel. If anything Fluttershy, and really anypony that overheard, thought it was adorable!

“Why hello little fella… what happened to you?!”

Fluttershy looked and cooed.

Steel was on his flanks fussing over a poor Saber kitten she found a couple weeks back. The kitten was white as snow with a bright green eye the other closed because she lost it somehow. And to make her even more sympathetic her right forepaw was horribly infected and Fluttershy (as much as it tore at her) had to amputate it.

The kitten batted at Steel’s nose and to Shy she sounded like while she enjoyed the attention she was a little overwhelmed.

“S-Steel you’re overwhelming her.” Shy said in a surprisingly stern manner, “Figures I’d find my bravery when an animal is involved.”

Steel blinked before nodding though he didn’t release the kitten.

“Sorry. I’ve always adored cute animals.” Steel explained, “And well… this little trooper here looks like she needs all the affection she can get. What happened to her?”

“I-I don’t know exactly. I just found her outside the Everfree forest about a month ago.” Fluttershy said, “I was mostly focused on getting her better. And when I did I started to wonder how she even got here. A Saber cat's natural environment is tropical so finding her so far inland is a shock.”

Steel just hummed in thought before sitting the kitten on his head, Fluttershy giggled when the kitten looked around meowing about having never been that high before.

“Can you tell me about her diet?” Steel asked.

Fluttershy nodded, “Well Saber cats are meat eaters so fish would be a go to. But I can suggest some brands of dry pet food that she may like. Oh and make sure you give her a lot of attention, she’s still recovering so she might be lethargic. Maybe get something to tuck her in so you can carry her around while you’re working?”

“Those are wonderful ideas Shy.” Steel said with a smile, “How about this. You help me get everything Snowball here will need and you don’t need to worry about me building the chicken coop.”

“B-But…” Fluttershy stammered until Steel shushed her.

“It’ll just be between us. I can afford to work without pay.” Steel said before booping her nose, “Besides you’re Rarity’s best friend. And I’m my own boss so… there.” He added with a chuckle.

“T-Thank you…” Fluttershy said, “Um… I-I’ll go make you a list of what you’ll need!”

Before Steel could respond Fluttershy quickly escaped back into her house. First to get her breathing under control, next to squee over the fact Steel adopted Snowball, shudder in a mini-orgasm from the boop, and then finally to make the list she promised.

“I wonder what Rarity would say?”

She’d probably tease her a little but be legitimately happy for her. Rarity’s a generous and kind pony after all.

Then she might feel threatened and decide to remind Fluttershy just how much she cared. Which would involve a collar and leash, maybe some straps. Possibly a ball gag?

Fluttershy shuddered again as another mini-orgasm ripped through her.

“At this rate I might as well leave my windows open all the time…”

<<>>

I’ve always been a sucker for puppies and kittens, I remember all the pets I ever had in my life when I was human.

Coco, Cody, Bear Dog, Peanut, Snowball, Teddy, Bella, and Peanut (the Second). But yeah I remember them all, and how I would cry whenever one of them died or had to be given away.

So when I saw this little cutie I dub Snowball (the Second) I knew that I had to take care of her. Already ideas for giving her a prosthetic eye and leg started to fill my head, which lead to prosthetics for other types of animals, though wings will give me the biggest trouble I think. But I can think about that later.

Right now I have a kitten to smother with affection!

Though I also have to get back to work too… hmm I think I’m going to make some “golems” to help me work.

But until then I guess I should do it myself.

Sitting Snowball down and gently stroking her, I kissed her forehead and went back to work. And never had I ever been more jealous of Fluttershy for being able to understand animals. Though I did keep an eye out when Angel Bunny hopped over no doubt to interrogate or warn Snowball.

If the little devil rabbit did anything well… it’s been years since I had rabbit stew...

13: Meetings and Pre-Gala Jitters

<<>>

“Okay, breathe. Remember all those exercises”

And the breathing exercises that Princess Celestia and Cadence had taught her over the years to help her with her anxiety attacks as well as magical control helped, for a minute or two before her nerves returned. And with it her frantic planning and checking, rechecking and triple checking of any and everything.

“Okay I need to find somepony to manage the library while Spike and I are in Canterlot.” It was the height of illogical, which Twilight was well aware of, but OCD wasn’t a particularly logical disorder.

However before Twilight could again have Spike go over everything, and further stress the baby dragon and herself out, the door opened and a familiar giant came in with an odd pouch-like sling around his neck. Which derailed her OCD and made Spike give a sigh of relief.

“Hey Twi.” Steel said, “Figured I’d introduce you to someone. And probably let Spike here take a break?”

Spike gave Twilight a pleading looked which made her nod distractedly.

“Yes!” Spike cheered before he scampered out of the library.

“... That drake’s crush is so painfully obvious it hurts.” Steel commented dryly.

Twilight just nodded as her mind puzzled out Steel’s comment and introduce “someone” as well as complaining about not getting any advice from Princess Celestia. Though she understood, the Princess is a busy mare after all, and didn’t feel neglected by the fact she hadn’t responded. She might’ve actually forgotten after a particularly stressful day.

“It’s fine.” Twilight said with a faint blush, “Don’t think about the kiss. Don’t think about the kiss. Don’t think about- argh!”

She really wanted to dislike Steel but Twilight knew it was her own fault, it wasn’t his fault that she found intelligence attractive. Or that when her emotions are frazzled like they were That Day she was more impulsive than she ever allowed. Or the fact that he stole her first kiss or the fact that she fantasized about him or…

“Okay there filly! Get ahold of yourself!” Twilight took a second to collect herself, “Who do you want to introduce?” She asked finally.

“My new pet. Snowball say hello!” Steel said with a grin.

Then the cutest kitten wearing a little eyepatch popped its head out of the pouch and mewed before it started to look around curiously. Twilight giggled and trotted closer to scritch the kitten as she dawwed over the adorable kitten.

“So cute!” Twilight said with a smile.

“Yeah? Fluttershy found her a few weeks back outside of the Everfree in rough shape.” Steel said, “She was in rough shape but Fluttershy did all she could. I’m actually designing a kitten-sized prosthetic for her. Actually do you have any books on Sabercats? I’d like to know what to expect when she gets bigger.”

“Saber… cat....?” Twilight took a closer look at Snowball and could see the beginnings of a Saber cat’s most iconic feature, “Steel… you do realize that Saber cats aren’t native to Equestria right? And are as dangerous as a Manticore despite lacking venom right?”

Steel just shrugged, “I’m a sucker for cute things and she looked like she needed somepony to take care of her.”

Twilight just shook her head in bewilderment as she went to find the necessary books. While the sucker for cute things was new she didn’t know why she was surprised by him being kind to an animal clearly in need. But a part of her dreaded when Snowball started growing, as the largest Sabercat on record was around two hundred and fifty pounds. And it was speculated that they could get bigger if the hunting was exceptionally good.

Then something Steel said finally registered.

“Kitten-sized?” Twilight paused and looked at him curiously.

“Yeah. Her right paw was infected or something real bad. And Fluttershy had to amputate.” Steel said pulling the kitten out of her pouch revealing she was indeed down one limb, “She’s a little trooper though. Whenever I’m working outside I would see her trying to chase some butterflies. She knows she can’t catch them but still doesn’t stop her from trying.”

Twilight was in full control of herself so instead of kissing him full on the lips she instead kissed his cheek with a smile.

“What was that for?” Steel asked, clearly not minding at all but genuinely curious.

“For being a kind pony. I don’t think anypony else would go out of his way to help a Sabercat kitten, they are known ponykillers after all.” Twilight explained, “Well other than Fluttershy of course.”

“Of course.” Steel echoed with a chuckle, “She’s certainly one of a kind our shy pegasus.” He added with some fondness.

Twilight nodded in agreement, “Yes she is. So did you have anything else in mind when you visited? Or did you just want to introduce Snowball?”

“Um… oh! Yeah.” Steel scratched the back of his head, “Just… wanting to help you out. I haven’t known you long but I can tell you’re the type to overthink things and overlook things.”

“Oh?” Twilight just raised a brow, “You’re not wrong.”

“Yeah. I’m thinking about talking to the others too. Well maybe not Rainbow Dash.” Steel said, “I don’t think she likes me.”

Twilight grimaced at that as she recalled hearing Rainbow’s ignorant and very unflattering opinion of the stallion before her. Having spoken to him at length she could easily disagree with everything everypony believes about him. He didn’t have some sort of disorder like autism or aspergers, because if he did then so did she.

Maybe some sort of psychological tic of some sort given his sometimes erratic body language? But that could easily be attributed to his eccentricity so it might be nothing.

He is clearly very intelligent if all those schematics in his house were an indicator, though Twilight wasn’t sure if he was a savant or not.

Perverse? Maybe, but not nearly as bad as Rainbow believed. After the kiss Steel’s body naturally reacted. And instead of trying to push things further, like a raging rut-hungry stallion would, he freaked and apologized profusely before explaining that his libedio was more active then normal.

The fact that he could control it (eight times out of ten) and when he did have an ‘incident’ he quickly excused himself told Twilight that Steel was surprisingly reserved.

“I’m sure she’ll get over it if she actually sat down and talked to you.” Twilight said, “Though given how stubborn she is? I have no idea when that’ll actually happen. But before we get off topic why do you bring this up?”

“Okay. You’ve been Celestia’s student for a long time right?” Twilight nodded, “So you’re probably over the moon excited to spend time with her right?” She nodded once more, “Okay. But seeing as she’s hosting the Gala wouldn’t she have to greet everypony and socialize with everpony? I’m not entirely sure she could make one-on-one time with you during the gala.”

Twilight blinked and opened her mouth to retort but… Steel had a very good point. Actually she sometimes forgot that Princess Celestia had more duties than being her teacher.

“... Well horseapples…” Steel just snickered.

“But perhaps you could send a letter regarding the prosthetics.” Steel said, “And after talking about that you and her could just talk hmm?”

“That… is a wonderful idea!” Twilight said, giving him another kiss on the cheek, “I’ll go write a letter right away!”

And with that she galloped off to her room.

Steel just laughed before he went to search for the books he requested.

<<>>

“Whatcha doing here partner?” Applejack asked, “Pretty sure there’s nothing broken.”

“Just introducing my new pet Snowball.” *mew* “And I thought it’d be nice if I helped everypony with some pre-gala jitters or something.”

“Well that’s mighty kind of you partner. And yer Snowball is right adorable.” *pleased purr* “But I’m not all that jittery honestly. Though I’m wondering what sorta vittles fancy folk might find pleasing.”

Steel just gave Applejack a deadpan expression, which made Applejack narrow her eyes in return. Silently daring him to say something.

He dared.

“Jackie, your family makes the best apple-related foods I’ve ever eaten and I’m sure the nobles would agree if they ate your food as well.” Steel said, “And I’m going to say this as a friend. But… you’re going to bring food to sell… to a gala that’s already got catering. I’m sorry to say but that logic is very questionable. However I do have an idea that just came to me!”

“Oh yeah… and what’s that idea partner?” Applejack asked, through her eyes threatened a good wrassle if what Steel suggested wasn’t good.

“Okay. Well all the nobles are going to follow Celestia’s lead right?” Applejack nodded, “Well how about you use that? Bring something that appeals to Celestia like… an Apple cake or something along with anything else you bring food-wise.”

“And the nobles will follow suit and try everything else…” Applejack finished, “That’s pretty smart for a big lug! I’m sure granny knows a recipe or three for an apple cake! Thanks sugarcube!”

Applejack gave him a quick kiss before she trotted off quickly, knowing without having to look that Steel was watching her flank.

And just to tease the big lug she put some strut in her trot and gave the big lug another peak.

“Landsakes look at me now. Teasing stallions like I’m back in school.”

<<>>

“Pinks. This is a Noble party.” Steel said as Snowball popped her head out of her pouch and mewed while waving at the perky pink pony.

“I know!” Pinkie said with a giggle, “But if I can’t liven things up then I demand a dance as well as you sing Lulu a song!~”

“Wait. What?”

“You heard me! It’s a date!~” Pinkie chirped before giving Steel a big ole kiss on the lips before bouncing off.

“Goddamn…” *mew* “I don’t understand that mare either Snowball.”

Pinkie just giggled as she bounced away.

<<>>

“Ah! Hello darling! And who is that cutie?” Rarity asked only to start cooing when a small kitten poked its head out of a pouch.

“This is Snowball. I adopted her yesterday.” Steel said with a smile, “Just thought I’d stop by and see how you’re doing. Everypony else is pretty jittery about the gala after all.”

“Oh, I’m fine darling. Perhaps a little stressed but nothing a soothing cup of tea won’t fix.” Rarity answered, “Actually perhaps you can try on your suit for me? I want to see if I got everything right.”

“Sure. But you know this wasn’t necessary don’t you?” Steel asked.

Rarity just shushed him and motioned him to go to the changing room. Steel grunted and took out Snowball and sat her on the floor. Rarity aww’d and started fussing over the kitten even more.

“You be a good girl for Rarity okay?” He said to the kitten, “She’s my best friend so don’t give her any trouble.”

Trotted off to get changed, Rarity focused on Snowball.

“Well Steel did a commendable job but how about I make you a proper eyepatch hmm?” Rarity asked getting a mew in return.

Giggling she took the kitten and went into her workstation where she grabbed some faux-leather, a needle and some thread, and got to work.

A few minutes later Rarity finished the eyepatch and now proceeded to pamper the kitten and play with her.

“Err… Rares?” Steel called from the changing room, “While it does look good isn’t it a little… much?”

“Posh! Darling I just want everypony to see you at your best!” Rarity said, “Plus I want to see you strut your stuff you stupid sexy stallion you.”

“If you’re sure…” Steel said as he finally stepped out.

“Oh… mommy likes~”

She wasn’t entirely sure why she thought a white suit would work for Steel but it did, in fact it worked very well. Giving him a visual “No Bucks Given” air that Rarity found rather appealing.

“... If I had a single glove it’d be perfect…” Steel muttered.

“I must say Steel you look…” Was it getting hot in here? “... Very handsome…”

“Thank you. And I’m honestly impressed.” Steel said, “But… are the pants necessary? Also did you weave some sort of magic into it?”

“They complete the ensemble Steel.” Rarity answered, “And yes actually. I forget the technical name for the enchantment but I call it Modesty charm myself. Don’t want to make the noble stallions feel like foals with your… gifts now do you?”

Steel blinked owlishly, clearly not expecting that comment, making Rarity giggle.

“Now give me a little trot. I want to see if I got everything right.” And nothing more.

Steel did as Rarity asked, but didn’t look like he believed her for a second. In fact even Snowball looked like she didn’t believe her words either!

Author's Note

Was going to do a Fluttershy pov but I wasn’t entirely sure how to go about it. So it might appear in the next one.

(Sidestory) Angery CatBirb

Author's Note

Takes place between 14 and 15

(Sidestory) Angery CatBirb

<<>>

Rainbow loved her job, next to racing and stunt flying weather management was her next greatest passion. Knowing that you’re responsible for the wonderful weather everypony is enjoying is a very gratifying feeling.

If things with the Wonderbolts didn’t work out (not even Rainbow is arrogant enough to think her place is a sure thing) she believed she would be content with weather management.

Currently she was working on the weather schedule for the next week, the big wigs in Cloudsdale arranged for a nice week with light showers spaced out through the week. And it was Rainbow’s job to figure out how to best implement it. As well as take into account any freak weather that blew in from the Everfree forest.

“Bucksakes… why couldn’t Ponyville be further away from the Everfree?”

Rainbow hated dealing with that thrice damned forest, mostly the freak weather it occasionally blows in. Not only does the Everfree absolutely love bucking over Rainbow’s efforts but the weather itself is a pain in the flank to get under control, a month or two ago the entire crew had to deal with a freak twister the damnable forest spat out.

“Thank Celestia nopony got severely injured during that clusterbuck…”

Not to say that there weren’t any, just not severe enough for a medical leave. Half of the team was put on light duty until they’ve fully recovered.

“Thank Celestia Derpy doesn’t mind helping out.”

Sitting down her quill Rainbow massaged her temples, she might love her job but damn did she hate paperwork.

“I would do anything to get out of this…” Well… except play nice with Steel.

Sure, he wasn’t as bad as the rumors made him out to be but she still didn’t like him. At least the girls weren’t gossiping about him all the time!

“Oi! Rainbow Dyke you in!?” Rainbow blinked as she got up and went to the door to answer it, “It’s been a long time!”

Rainbow looked at the brown and white griffon with a wide grin before giving her a hug, which was returned awkwardly.

“Gilda! How’ve you been you overgrown buzzard!” Rainbow asked happily, “It’s been way too long!”

“Yeah, yeah get off me ya sappy pony.” Gilda said gruffly pushing Rainbow off her, “So what’ve you been doing? I thought you were doing stunt flying or something?”

“I wish. But seriously I’m the Weather manager for Ponyville, at least until I can get into the Wonderbolts.” Rainbow said, “It’s kinda lame but I can’t say I don’t like the job.”

“Lame.” Gilda said, rolling her eyes, “You’re too cool for such a lame job. Why not leave it to some other dweeb and focus on your training.”

“Still got living expenses.” Rainbow said, “Anyway I can’t wait to introduce you to my friends!”

“Great…”

Rainbow wasn’t blind to her second best friends (first of course being Fluttershy)… abrasive personality. Another failing of Gilda’s is she didn’t know how to take a joke, if it was anypony else she’d laugh (even more if it was a meanspirited joke) but when she’s the butt of the joke she gets all angry and resentful.

And seeing Gilda storm off in a huff right in the middle of Pinkie’s surprise party, Rainbow prayed to Celestia she didn’t go off on anypony like (Celestia forbid!) Flutters! Or Steel even!

Especially Steel… given that Griffins have hollow bones and unlike ponies Griffins don’t get to enjoy having magic-enhanced durability.

“Just… let her cool off Pinkie.” Rainbow said, trying to reassure her bubbly friend, “How about I go and talk to her okay?”

Pinkie sniffed but nodded, not saying anything. Giving the pink mare a hug (it’s not gay unless your teats touch) Rainbow took off to follow Gilda in hopes to prevent her from scaring (Flutters) or triggering (Steel) anypony.

“Oh yeah? Why should I apologize to the little priss? Whatcha gonna do about it mud pony!?”

It was like watching two air carriages colliding in mid-air, you know you should look away but you can. Rainbow knew she should do something, anything to prevent her oldest friend from being turned into paste or pillow stuffing but she couldn’t bring herself to move.

All she could do was think, “She just had to go there…”

Unlike Rainbow who knew how to take a joke the same couldn’t be said about everypony else, especially when species (or Tribalism) is brought up. The fact that she threw “mud pony” in the face of a stallion that had killed (and according to rumor butchered and eaten) a manticore Rainbow was legitimately terrified that Gilda be reduced to chunky salsa and feathers!

“Mud pony huh? Okay.” Steel said cracking his neck, “Listen you overgrown Catbird you look like trouble. The last one to be trouble was a manitcore. And he was delicious so fucking check yourself before I decide what barbeque griffon fucking tastes like!” He added with a snarl that honestly made Glida’s (and Rainbow’s) hackles rise.

“Fucking freak pony!” Gilda spat back, “How’s the rest of town feel about having a damn cannibal living among them!?”

Steel just laughed at that, and given how deep his voice was naturally it was a booming and intimidating sound. Rainbow also noticed how the entire square had emptied out only until herself, Flutters, Gilda, and Steel remained.

“First of all Catbird-” Gilda snarled, “-I’m a Horse not a Pony. Second Horses are omnivores as are Ponies. Third, it's not cannibalism unless it's members of the same species.” Steel explained not at all phased by Gilda’s snarl, “What? Gonna hit me? I’ll give you a free shot Catbird… but a word of advice. You better make sure I don’t get up because if I do well…”

“Oh Celestia… is she gonna…”

“You ain’t no dweeb like the rest of these ponies.” Gilda said eyeing him, “So… how about we go somewhere private and ruffle my feathers hmm?”

Rainbow nearly groaned, as the exact same thing happened when she and Gilda first met.

“I wouldn’t mount you with a stolen dick.” Rainbow nearly laughed at that, “You come here to reconnect with a friend, Rainbow I assume, and when she introduces you to her new friends you’re belligerent, dismissive, and hostile. Though I can easily assume that part of that is Pinkie’s fault. And after making the kindest gentlest mare in all of Equestria in my opinion cry… you want me to ruffle your feathers?”

Gilda’s beak just dropped open at the rather savage shut down.

“What I think you need to do is pull your head outta your ass and learn to take a fucking joke! Now get outta here!” Steel finished before he turned to focus on Flutters.

“... Come on Gilda…” Rainbow said suddenly beside Glida, “Let’s go talk in private.”

Gilda nodded in a daze before she and Rainbow took off.

15: Soothing the Butterfly

<<>>

I snorted as I watched Rainbow take the belligerent catbird away, either to chew her out or soothe her ruffled feathers. I honestly didn’t give a good goddamn. But if Rainbow tries to calm her down and play nice well I… bleh! I’ve got more important things to deal with, like calming down a potentially traumatized timid pony.

Turning to Fluttershy, who had calmed down slightly but still sniffled. And I couldn't help but hug the timid little mare.

[Data]

Yes CPU, I’m well aware that her heart rate spiked. I’ve got access to the same senses you do…

[Annoyance]

“It’s okay. The catbird is gone.” I said as I hugged her, “Want me to take you home?”

Fluttershy shook her head and… she is inhaling. Does she have a smelling fetish or something? Do I smell good to ponies and never realized? Just… gonna shelve these thoughts for later.

“Want me to take you to Jackie, Rares, Pinks, or Twi’s place?” I asked again absentmindedly stroking her mane.

What kind of shampoo does she use? I know I smell jasmine I think (among other things), damn I think supermodels back on Earth would kill for hair like this!

And she shook her head again.

[Amusement]

“... Want me to take you to my place?” I asked, getting a nod.

I sighed faintly and with a faint grunt I put the timid mare up on my back making her squeak and cling to me. Shaking my head I trotted off home.

[Query]

“Maybe, maybe not. But I am going to make her some tea and get her to calm down. Whatever happens afterwards happens.”

[Excitement]

I just closed my eyes and tried not to groan. Wonder if anyone else in my position has to deal with a [CPU] that is excited about gathering data regarding “the act of copulation” and mating?

Sitting Fluttershy down in my living room I gave her a smile, “Would you like some tea?”

“Y-Yes please…” She said quietly, still sniffling and shaking a little.

“Okay. Just relax and I’ll be back.” I said before I gave her a quick nuzzle and trotted off to the kitchen.

<<>>

“Ohmyohmyohmy!”

She was in Steel’s house! Not outside watching from a bush but actually inside! In his living room while he makes her some tea!

“Get ahold of yourself Shy! You really don’t need to make him think you’re a bigger freak then you already are!” Fluttershy took a deep breath and slowly exhaled a couple more times.

When she had finally calmed down enough she looked around, and while Fluttershy wasn’t an interior decorator or anything she did think Steel desperately needed some advice on decorating. Honestly he repaired the cottage to brand new but it… didn’t have much personality to it.

It reminded Fluttershy of a temporary apartment. Did Steel plan on eventually leaving Ponyville!?

“No, no! He can’t leave!? Not until I- he-!?” Fluttershy was pulled from her frantic thoughts by Steel walking back in with a tea tray balanced on his head, “Wow, I’ve never seen anypony with a sense of balance that good…”

“I’m out of Rosebud tea so I hope you don’t mind Gray Mare.” He said with a smile as he sat the tray down.

“I-I don’t mind…” Fluttershy said, “T-Thank you…”

Steel just smiled before he took a filled two cups and took his, “So, we haven’t talked much. What do you do in your free time?”

Fluttershy blinked at that before she stopped and actually thought about it. And came to a rather distressing realization that outside of her spa days with Rarity and taking care of her animals she really didn’t have anything… oh!

“W-Well… I enjoy reading.” Fluttershy said, blowing softly on her tea, “I-I’m really fond of the S-Saga of Souls that Rarity introduced me too.”

“Oh? Is it any good?” He asked curiously, but Fluttershy couldn’t help but notice an odd quirk of his very kissable lips.

“Y-Yeah. It’s considered a Supernatural fantasy but so much more!” Fluttershy said growing excited, “I-It’s got mystery, suspense, and even h-horror even if I don’t like that stuff. I can’t wait until the next book comes out! The author’s creating such an interesting world!”

“Heh, I’m glad you enjoy it Shy.” Fluttershy squeaked and flushed read, “Er, sorry. I hope you don’t mind me calling you Shy.”

“I-It’s okay. Dashie calls me Flutters so i-it’s fine.” Fluttershy said.

<<>>

“Okay fuck it. There is no way to say it that isn’t awkward…” I thought much to my [CPU]s amusement, “Shy there’s no way to ask this and not sound cheesy but… are you attracted to me?”

Fluttershy squeaked and looked ready fainted, I frowned faintly at that.

“Shy. I asked if you were attracted to me.” I repeated sternly modulating my voice to stop it from sounding hopelessly intimidating to the timid mare.

Fluttershy shivered and I am pretty sure it wasn’t because I was intimidating.

[Amusement]
[Data]
[Suggestion: Lay One On Her Like You Mean It!]

Fluttershy just blushed and started to mumble. Steel just sat his and Fluttershy’s tea on the tray and reached over to lift up her chin making her look at him.

“Slow down. Take a deep breath and relax.” I said soothingly, “Focus on your breathing. And when you feel comfortable I want you to repeat yourself okay?”

Fluttershy nodded and focused on her breathing, I however was more interested in her submissive kink. I’d spent long enough around Rarity to piece together that Rarity is Fluttershy’s dom, so I wasn’t entirely surprised. And honestly the whole dominatrix thing fits Rarity to a tee in all honesty, it also explains why she has so much bondage gear in her back room.

Boy the fits that would’ve been pitched if viewers got a peak at Little Miss Rarity’s private room. Honestly it’s a rather amusing thought.

“Are you calm?” Fluttershy nodded, “Now what were you mumbling?”

“Yes I’m attracted to you… but you wouldn’t want a dirty freaky mare like me…” She whimpered with tears in her eyes.

I just pulled her into a hug, “How about I be the judge of that Shy?”

Honestly the little “yay” that escaped the mare made me hug her all the tighter.

It’s funny the things you notice when you’re about to finally get your pipes clean (Dream sex doesn’t count, Lulu said it herself). Case in point I couldn’t help but notice just how… bare my bedroom walls were, I really should decorate or something.

Maybe I could make some posters and paintings? Yeah that might work…

“Ready Shy?” I asked as I positioned myself, my cockhead poking at her winking and leaking marehood.

“Um… could you…” Fluttershy trailed off into mumbles, which I could still understand easily.

“Huh, well I guess it’s always the quiet ones…” I thought as I repositioned with my cockhead pressing against her virgin plothole, “Kinda awkward though… but if it’s what she wants.”

[Excitement]
[Activating Hentai Physics]
[Calculating]
[Insemination chance: 00.0%]
[Virility: 250%]
[Scanning… Scan Complete!]
[Subject “Shy” erogenous zones mapped, neurological layout mapped, “Hotspots” located and designated]
[Mating Protocols activated]

As all the data flowed in and altered my perception I leaned down and kissed her neck making her whimper as I started. She was certainly surprised when the pain she was expecting never happened as my oversized member opened her plothole up and invaded her backdoor.

Eventually I was completely hilted before I started to “gently” (for me anyway, Shy probably though I was rutting like a madstallion) started to rut her. Fluttershy moaned and squeaked each time I resheathed myself, but never once voiced anything. No “Go faster” “Slow down” or even “Stop please” but that made sense as Fluttershy was a very submissive mare.

She gave all her trust over to her dom, knowing that he or she won’t hurt her. And I won’t hurt her, though it might explain how Angel Bunny gets away with so much shit. The mare just didn’t have it in her to put her hoof down, allowing Angel to run wild.

“Well… Angel does take care of her so I guess I’ll cut him some slack. Still don’t like the little shit though.”

“OH!~” And I felt a spray of mare juices hit me.

I just leaned down to her ear and nibbled on it for a few moments (one of her erogenous zones) before whispering, “The fun has just begun!~”

And with that I started to rut with purpose and the room was filled with the sounds of flesh slapping flesh, so much so I had to reach out with my rarely used [Technopathy] to activate a Sound Dampening Field generator, sure I didn’t have any neighbors or anything but it never hurts to be safe right?

“Oh… oh… my…” Fluttershy gasped as she rode my stallionhood.

I was massaging her teats while she traced the very obvious bulge from my cock invading her most private and sacred spot. Though I started to suspect she had something of a breeding fetish as she got a lot more active when I started fucking her marehood.

The way she rubbed her belly… I won’t deny I found the idea arousing myself.

[Restore Insemination ability? Y/N]

“Goddamnit! You know the answer to that! I’m not ready to be a father yet damnit!.’ I thought as the prompt… whimpered and disappeared.

Fucking [CPU] what did that Rainbow Laser do to you??

I was distracted from my thoughts by Fluttershy slamming down and falling forward orgasming violently as she did so. Which in turn made me cum as well which in turn set off a chain reaction of orgasms.

Ahegao achieved!

I looked at the sleeping mare beside me in thought, I wondered if her attraction was due to my teasing her or if it was due to something else?

Shaking my head I reached out with my [Technopathy] and had a servitor go and ready a bath, Fluttershy was in desperate need of one. And I just might have to buy myself a new mattress and sheets because there is no way am I getting the smell of semen out of it all.

[Contentment]
[Puff]

… Is my [CPU] having the digital equivalent of a cigarette!?

16 Fluttershy's New (Kinda-Sorta) Groove

<<>>

She wasn’t sure if anypony would’ve even noticed the slight change in Fluttershy, but Rarity certainly noticed. And while she did approve of her friends new found confidence (though she’s still so painfully shy) she was rather curious as to who it came to be.

Honestly she was worried that Rainbow’s barbaric Griffon friend traumatized the timid mare all because she had a chip on her shoulder!

Though from what she heard Steel verbally tore her apart!

“I wouldn’t mount you with a stolen dick” while Rarity didn’t appreciate the… crude way he put it she did appreciate Steel putting that uppity ruffian in her place!

It also said a lot about his own self control and standards! As if a handsome stallion like Steel would lower himself to mount a vulgar and surly Griffon, exotic appearance be damned!

Pulling herself from her musing Rarity took another sip of tea as she looked at Fluttershy, who was drinking some tea herself. They were currently at a small little cafe they both enjoy having some filly time with her dearest friend (and sub).

“Fluttershy darling we’ve been friends for quite some time now-”

Fluttershy nodded as she sipped her tea.

“-and I like to think I know you very well. So allow me to be blunt but… did you have a tryst with my best friend?”

Fluttershy then spittaked, spewing the tea all over the table. And while Rarity was bemoaning their ruined brunch she knew it was her own fault. She really should’ve waited until Fluttershy had finished with her tea.

“Rather obvious in hindsight and… as uncouth as it is it was rather amusing…” Rarity thought as she used her telekinesis to clean up what she could.

“*cough* R-Rarity!?” Fluttershy didn’t exactly yell but… it was a surprisingly harsh whisper.

“I’m sorry darling! I should’ve waited to ask.” Rarity apologized, “But it’s a valid question. I know you’ve had feelings for that big lug for a while.”

Fluttershy didn’t say anything for a few moments, which Rarity allowed seeing as the timid mare was no doubt scrambling. Eventually the ruined brunch was cleaned and replaced and Fluttershy looked like she had finally gathered her wits.

“Y-Yes…” Fluttershy whispered submissively.

“Wonderful!” Rarity said with a smile, “I hope your first was special!” She added sincerely.

Fluttershy just blushed even brighter and nodded before she motioned Rarity to lean in so she could whisper to her. Rarity quirked a brow but did so, wondering what details Fluttershy was going to share that she didn’t want to get around?

*whisper whisper whisper*

“Oh… oh my goodness…” In that moment Rarity resembled Big Mac with how red she got.

<<>>

“Oh god I should’ve stayed in bed…”

I know I shouldn’t be thinking it but goddamn it, now I know Ruby Heart is manufacturing these requests.

[Suggestion]

“... Yeah. Might as well.”

Anyway I finish up my job, replacing the heat crystal in her oven because she’s “so clumsy” and is afraid she’d break it. Normally heat crystals are pretty cheap but the more powerful forms of crystal are fragile, a fair enough trade off in my opinion and Ruby Heart does have a very nice stove that requires more of an investment to bake and cook with it.

Actually shouldn’t the Corner have ovens like these? Oh, no. The Cakes have two foals (three if you count Pinkie) to think of. And while I’d never been a father I knew children were a large time and money investment. Realistically they couldn’t afford the expense of having a high end oven.

“Hmm, well I could use the opportunity to find out how to build one and make one for the Cakes. And I can easily afford the expense of buying the more expensive Heat crystals.”

[Speculation]
[Excitement!]

Heh, so easily pleased.

Anyway after finishing changing the crystal I went to find Ruby Heart, who was waiting in the living room with some refreshments and a smile.

“So I changed the crystal out.” I said, “Though I have a feeling you could’ve done it yourself. Now I’m not upset or anything but I’d like to know why you went through with this? And please be honest.”

Ruby looked surprised, I have no idea why I mean… do I really seem that oblivious? I guess now that I think about it… I might’ve given everypony that impression.

I watched as Ruby ran a gambit of expressions and I can only imagine how she’s feeling before she squeezed her eyes shut and gave a dry sob. I could tell there was a lot of pent up emotion there and I trotted over and sat beside her to give her a shoulder to lean on if she needed one.

Which apparently she does as she leaned on me and gave me a nuzzle, I just waited for her to gather her thoughts.

“I, I just wanted you around!” She confessed, “You make me feel like a mare. Everypony just sees a single mother trying to raise a colt but… I’m still a mare with needs! And you’re the only stallion that looks at me and doesn’t see a single mother but an attractive mare. I don’t want any relationship, Button’s father soured me on relationships as it is, I just… want somepony to make me feel desired…”

I just listened and put my foreleg around the smaller mare to give her a hug as I pondered over her confession. I’m well aware of how open pony’s are sexually speaking, and I’ve read up on this Herd Culture. So while ponies are sexually promiscuous, for the lack of a better term, it’s generally frowned on to hit it and quit it even more so during Estrus, the only time mares are able to have foals.

So on one hoof I could totally sleep with this hot milf but I’ll be expected to at least maintain some type of relationship, be it platonic (rut buddies if you wanna be crude about it) or something more. But on the other hoof I could let her down gently right now and stick a pin in this, but I could possibly get a reputation as a heartbreaker and she might continue trying to seduce me.

“Realistically I only have one choice. But… I know what I am. And no matter what I do I know I’ll possibly spoil her for any other stallion and… I’m not sure if I can live with knowing she’d still be pining for me.”

[Chastisement]
[Exasperation]

“... I’m overthinking things again ain’t I?”

[DUH!]

“... I’m not sure I appreciate the sarcasm and sass!”

[You’re Not my Dad!]

“Oh sweet fuck! I have an angsty teenager in my head!”

The entire exchange happened at the speed of thought so I hadn’t left Ruby hanging. I simply hugged her and decided to buck it; in for a penny in for a pound!

“I can do that.” Ruby looked at me with wide hopeful eyes, “Though I just want you to understand we’ll be friends with benefits.”

“That’s fine!” Ruby said quickly, “That’s all I want, all I ever really wanted.”

I just sighed and nuzzled her, “Okay, but if Button somehow figures it out you’re explaining it.”

17: Canterlot Cometh!

Author's Note

First of all, I want to apologize to everyone that’s been waiting for this. I honestly struggled with this, as initially, I wanted to cover “filler” like Trixie, the whole Zecora thing, Pinkie going crazy, and so on but I struggled with finding a way to do it. So, I’ve decided I’ll write those and post them as (Side stories) in the Index and continue with the main story. I don’t know when I’ll have the (side stories) ready but I will write them. And if it seems I’ve forgotten don’t hesitate to remind me!

Also, I apologize for the shortness of the chapter. But to make up for it the next chapter will be the Gala proper and I may have a singing sequence in it if things go as planned.

17: Canterlot Cometh!

<<>>

“Today’s the day...” I thought as I relaxed.

Looking at the sky pegasus nestled into my side and napping I just rubbed her mane. Today was the day, the gala wouldn’t take place until later this evening so we all had a few hours to kill before we had to get ready.

[CPU] had ‘locked down’ my arousal so I don’t get an awkward boner in the middle of the gala, no matter how amusing it’d be honest. But we talked it out and came to an agreement that I really didn’t need nobles thinking I’m nothing more than a crass commoner despite the fact I honestly don’t give a good goddamn over their opinions. But like I said to [CPU] why invite unneeded trouble?

I mean… I live in Ponyville! Just going by the past couple of weeks I’ll be drawn into trouble whether I like it or not.

Though… I do hope I mitigated at least some of the chaos the girls will cause. Maybe. Eh, I’ll give it a 50/50… no 40/60 shot. I’m confident but not that confidant.

Hell for all I know I’m just making the chaos even worse… but I’ve got more important things to think on.

Such as what song I’m going to sing to Luna so Pinkie doesn’t get me. I don’t think I made a Pinkie Promise but… it just seems like a bad idea to ignore her advice.

Hmm… now, what would Luna appreciate? She’s already been listening to my vast collection of music in my dreams. Hmm, perhaps something to do with the night sky?

Oh… I have an idea.

“All that’s missing is a white glove.” I muttered as I straightened my suit.

It was lazy of me but I opted to stay in the hotel room Sunbutt was providing for us whereas Twilight decided to show the girls around. Twilight offered to show me around but I declined, both because I had no wish to deal with nobles but mainly because I didn’t want to get Rainbow riled over one thing or another.

But now? It’s showtime.

I’ve got a song I think Lulu will appreciate and… well here’s hoping things don’t go too wrong.

… Goddamnit, I just jinxed it didn’t I?

18 Epilouge: Sweet Dreams are made of These (rewrite)

<<>>

“I wind up in the craziest places…”

Not that I minded at all! Hell no!

I mean who wouldn’t want to wake up in a bed with two princesses and six celebrities? Granted I am confused about What I did convince Rainbow to give me an honest chance. Still not going to complain regardless.

The gala progressed a lot as it did in canon despite my attempts to limit the chaos, thankfully Pinkie didn’t try to ruin Octavia’s night (actually she thanked me later and gave me a kiss!) and Rarity avoided Blueblood so that’s something.

Everypony really appreciated my song, however, none more than Luna.

After the gala things… definitely didn’t go according to canon.

Mainly Celestia invited me and the girls into her private chambers where… we all proceeded to drink.

You’d think Twilight and Fluttershy would’ve been super lightweights and AJ and Rainbow would’ve been experienced drinkers right? Nah, between Shy and Twi they drunk everyone under the table with the exception of myself, Luna, and Celestia.

Of course I… might’ve had an advantage of course.

And well you know how alcohol is known as a ‘social lubricant’ (or am I thinking of something else?) well… let’s just say a lot of things were said and through the magic of booze things like embarrassment or tsundereism was thrown to the wayside.

I looked over and saw Celly (as she insisted I call her) limp over to the balcony to do the sunrise as well as lower the moon as Luna was… TKO at the moment. Dream sensations and Real Life sensations are two very different beasts and I think Luna forgot that, and probably the fact that I could easily go on for hours without pause.

Honestly, I probably shouldn’t have indulged her when she told me to “Give me all you got!” but well… a part of me wanted to do so anyway so… meh.

After doing her custom Celly limped back over, and instead of climbing back in bed as I expected she took a seat (very tenderly mind you) and watched the pony pile with a motherly smile.

“You’re a very special stallion Steel.” She said quietly so as to not wake the others, “I never thought I’d seen Luna actually open up to somepony outside of the Dream realm. And Twilight well… I’ve worried for her for years.”

“I understand Celly.” I said with a faint smile as I looked at the two mentioned mares, “I don’t know where things will go from here but… I know it’ll be an adventure!”

Celly nodded with a giggle.

…

……

………

“Celly… why are some of your, Luna’s, Rainbow’s, and Shy’s feathers plastered on the ceiling and is that… that looks like wallpaper paste!”

Celly just giggled dirtily and I muttered under my breath.

Author's Note

First I want to apologize for how abrupt and rushed this is. But I honestly couldn't think of a way to continue the story. So I figured it should end, and what better way for it to end then it is a dream caused by a Blaster 8 to the face?

That being said I’m not sure if I’ll return to ‘On a Steel Horse I ride’ or not as well because I’m currently facing writer’s block on… all of my current stories honestly and I’m honestly not sure if I will continue them, rewrite them, or just make something new.

So… yeah that’s all. I just wanted everyone to understand. And again I apologize for this. But at least now I can honestly say I have one story that I completed so there’s that. It’s not much but it’s something…

(Friendship) A Giant and a Fashionista

Author's Note

The (Friendship) series will be all about how Steel met the mares (barring Twilight and Celestia).

(Friendship) A Giant and a Fashionista

<<>>

Rarity wasn’t always a generous and kind pony, the less said about her early years when she lived in the city the better in her honest opinion. And while living in what many would consider a backwater was sometimes challenging for the mare (as most didn’t wear any clothes outside of special moments or for certain types of employment) Rarity truly relished just how… simply life could be.

So when a giant of a Horse came in looking for work Rarity just had to help the poor soul.

She and Steel got along surprisingly well actually. While he clearly had no talent with a needle and thread he made up for it by doing physical labor, cleaning the shop, collecting massive orders of fabrics, and even manning the front while Rarity worked in the back of some of her projects (though those tended to be very hit or miss so Steel didn’t do it frequently).

This also led to them forming a friendship rife with dirty humor, teasing (mostly from Rarity), and the occasional insightful comment from Steel.

“Darling, have you ever considered modeling?” Rarity asked curiously as she did some needlework.

“Can’t say I have.” Steel admitted, “Don’t think it’d work out though. I’m not exactly sociable.”

Rarity just paused in her work and gave him a questioning deadpan.

“Just because I say hello and be polite doesn’t make me a social butterfly Rares.” Steel said dryly, “I can make polite conversation. But I really don’t think I would deal with paparazzi all that well.”

Rarity had to agree with that, in the few weeks he had worked for her Steel showed that while he can be perfectly polite (and surprisingly good with foals) he wasn’t exactly what you would call… socially adept. When somepony managed to get under his coat Steel could get positively vicious and caustic with his “word-shivs” as he once called them.

Once about a week after hiring Steel Rarity was dealing with a snooty Canterlotian unicorn mare claiming that Rarity cheated her with a subpar product. And Steel really tried to play peacekeeper and calm everypony down.

Then of course the mare just had to get all chauvinistic and tribalistic.

Steel verbally lashed out and tore that mare apart, though never once raising his voice (but then again it was so deep he probably didn’t need too) and remained perfectly polite the entire time. Rarity honestly had no idea what happened, the fact that her giant somewhat brutish friend was not only ripping a mare apart verbally but he was surprisingly eloquent and assertive as well!

She couldn’t deny that she got a little excited at Steel “asserting” himself for the lack of a better word.

“Hmm, perhaps I should evaluate him…”

Ultimately however Rarity did refund the mare and lost what could’ve been a regular, but she did however gain something of interest.

Of course she made Steel pay for it by having him do busywork and run errands that didn’t involve his job. Foalsitting included but thank the stars Sweetie took a liking to the big lug, though it was bumpy in the beginning of course.

“Huh, I… well never expected this when you asked me to stay after work.” Steel said, blinking owlishly at some of her more… specialized stock.

Rarity decided to take a chance and expose him to her more risque work to gauge his reaction. Would he disdain and judge her from her tastes and work? She hoped not as he is a very interesting stallion. And in this day and age where mares and stallions are treated equally their society is still very much mare-dominated and stallions are the submissive, though nowhere near as bad as the early days from before the Princesses united the tribes.

“Well darling I decided it wasn’t right to hide a part of my business venture.” Rarity said, “Though I hope this doesn’t make you think less of me, I’m well aware of what some of the more prudish ponies in town think.”

“It’s surprising and not necessarily my thing but you like what you like.” Steel said, “It's certainly not my place to judge, I personally never saw the appeal but I’m not going to kinkshame anypony if they prefer the BDSM or Bondage lifestyle.”

“Well that’s a relief.” And indeed it was, “And you might not see the appeal because I don’t think nothing short of enchanted shackles would hold you down. Besides you strike me more as a dom.”

“Oh? Well… you’re probably right honestly.” Steel said with a chuckle, “And I bet you’re quite the dom yourself hmm? Lil’ Miss Rarity?” He quipped with a smirk.

Both making her blush at the fact that he knew her “title” and at that smirk.

She could easily imagine him leading a mare around by a leash or even spanking somepony with a paddle, though given his size he probably wouldn’t even need a hoof to “discipline” somepony.

“So… while I would love to see you model some of my suits here.” Rarity said gesturing to a gimp suit, “I don’t think you’d be all that comfortable. Besides I’ve got nothing in your size. So how about you model some clothes for me? Of course you’d be compensated.”

“Sure Rares.” Steel said, “Though to be fair you only had to ask.”

Rarity just smiled at Steel and they returned to the front of the store.

Rarity loved visiting the spa, even more so with her friend Fluttershy. Some of her animal friends had gotten sick so she couldn’t go to the spa that day, which upset her as these spa days were the highlight of the week (even more so after a stressful commission).

Though when Steel offered to go with her, mostly because he was genuinely curious and having never gone before, Rarity was thrilled. Not only would she get to have her beloved spa day but she’s also get a chance to see how Steel reacted to stimulation.

After all Aloe (or perhaps it was Vera) told her they lost track of all the times a stallion (usually passerbys) would get an erection and expect a “happy ending” at the end. Most of the stallions reacted poorly when they didn’t get a “happy ending” but Rarity was hoping Steel would be a bigger stallion.

She was well aware of his… *ahem* problems, the poor stallion seemed to suffer from an especially active sexdrive and had a bad habit of getting aroused at the most inconvenient of times. He’d already been fined a dozen times, however he was a seemingly tireless worker (Rarity was pretty sure he had become the official Mr. Fixit of the town) and always managed to pay his fines within a day or two.

So they approached the spa, Rarity looking pleased as punch whereas Steel looked thoughtful.

“Do you think their massage tables can support my weight?” Steel asked, “I mean if not you can still enjoy it. I’ll just have… whatever else they provide.”

“That is a good question. I mean Horses generally weigh a lot more then ponies, and Steel is a particularly massive stallion.” Rarity thought, “Well hopefully they can. It’d be a shame for you to not get the full treatment.”

Besides she really wanted to see how he’d react to no “happy endings”.

“Well I think there's only one way to be sure.” Steel said with a chuckle as they entered the spa.

*snore*

Rarity as well as Aloe and Vera couldn’t help but giggle at Steel.

“My word! I’ve massaged Dragons that don’t give me as much trouble!” And Aloe did look troubled, clearly sweating obviously working harder then she ever had before “Why is this poor stallion so… tense!? This isn’t healthy!”

“Well he keeps himself busy both at my shop as well as around town.” Rarity paused, “Though I think a lot of it is well… sexual frustration. I’ve heard that mare find his stallionhood too intimidating to rut. Obviously what they do isn’t really enough.” She decided not to share her thoughts regarding an overactive sexdrive.

“Poor stallion.” Vera said, “Come on Aloe let’s swap so you can get some rest.”

Aloe took the break gracefully allowing her twin to take over while she went to take over for Vera.

“I’m sorry if this isn’t up to our usual standards Ms. Belle.” Aloe apologized, “Hopefully this won’t sour your thoughts towards us.”

“Perish the thought!” Rarity said, “If anything this is my fault. Perhaps we should’ve gone to the sauna before the massage…”

Aloe just nodded at the reasoning. After a few moments Rarity recalled something she heard about how you could get a story from massaging somepony or something to that effect.

“Can you tell anything about Steel?” Rarity asked curiously.

“From the massage? Well I couldn’t tell you his life story if that’s what you’re wondering.” Rarity snorted at that having never even considered it, “But I can tell you is that he’s a very hard working stallion, and strong. And from all the knots in his muscles I believe he has impressive self-control.”

Rarity just hummed thoughtfully and the rest of the massage session passed quietly barring the occasional snore from Steel.

“I’m so sorry for falling asleep. But that was so relaxing…” Steel said sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his head.

Rarity just giggled, “It’s fine darling. Honestly I did that my first time as well.”

The two were now relaxing in the sauna, both with towels wrapped around their waists to keep their intimates from showing (though it took some quick stitch work to make Steel a towel). Though to Rarity Steel looked ready to fall back asleep.

“So, not to be rude or anything.” Steel said, “I’m just wondering why you didn’t mind me coming along?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Rarity asked, “I like to think we’ve become good friends.”

“True.” Steel said, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that.”

Rarity just smiled and the rest of the spa trip passed in companionable silence. Rarity was happy seeing Steel finally relaxing, and also equally impressed when Vera (or was it Aloe) made a suggestive tease and Steel did react predictably but he never once acted like a pissy stallion.

If anything he responded with some irritated bemusement.

“Again! Goddamnit!” Rarity just listened to Steel vent as another prospect one-night stand just crumbled.

Sometimes it’s difficult being Steel’s best friend, but it’s something Rarity learned to deal with. Of all his friends Steel held her in the highest regard for everything she’s done to help him. So listening to and letting him vent was just something that she felt she owed the giant.

And it’s not like he got all violent and needlessly aggressive in his frustration, other then the initial outburst Steel was pretty calm. Though how much of that is a learned behaviour or natural

“I swear I keep trying only to trip over my own damn oversized dick!” Oh he was in a rare mood, “How many goddamn times do I have to explain it!? MY DICK WORKS OF BUCKING PORN LOGIC!!!”

Rarity just passed him a glass of hard cider which Steel took and slugged down.

“Feel better?” Rarity asked.

“Yes… and I’m sorry. You didn’t need to hear that.” Steel said with a groan, “I just… it just makes me so mad sometimes.”

“Ponies don’t handle things outside of their comfort zones well.” Rarity said kindly, “And well… you are very outside most ponies comfort zones.”

Steel opened his mouth before closing it, though Rarity imagined what he was going to say and was impressed that he caught himself.

“Now I have some ice cream and I think you need some comfort food.” Rarity said, “Now sit down and relax okay? Don’t think about irritating mares and just focus on relaxing.”

“You’re right Rares.” Steel said with a sigh, “Like always.”

“As is right!” Rarity said in a faux-snooty tone, “Now sit.”

Steel just laughed and took a seat while Rarity got some of the much desired ice cream.

She knew it would go straight to her flanks but she thought it was worth it if it took Steel’s mind off of his love-life woes. Even for a short while.

(Friendship) A Giant and A Farmer

<<>>

Applejack first met Steel when she was working the stall in the marketplace, it was a slow day and she would’ve rather been applebucking with Big Mac. Sadly somepony had to watch the stall and it was her turn, however today not many had been shopping leaving Applejack enough peace to feel comfortable enough to read a saddle ripper that her Aunt Orange got her hooked on when she lived in the big city.

“Excuse me.” She’d deny to her dying day that she actually shrieked in surprise, “I’d like to buy some apples.”

Applejack quickly pulled herself together and put her book away quickly, but other than getting a slight chuckle from Steel he didn’t comment on her smut.

“Sorry partner. Caught me by surprise.” Applejack said as she looked at Steel, “Hayseed… you’re huge…” Much bigger than Big Mac.

Taller too actually.

“Heh, and you're a cute cowmare.” He replied with a smile.

“Yer smooth talking ain’t gonna get you a discount now.” She said with narrow eyes, though the faint blush ruined it.

Not many ponies gave her a genuine compliment like that, well they did but they were usually smooth talkers. And Applejack had learned how to see through such tricks during her time in the big city. The fact that Steel was being completely genuine took the Apple mare by surprise.

“More of an observation.” Steel said, “Now how much for a dozen apples?”

“Ah sure.” Applejack said as she got his order together, “That’ll be 36 bits.”

“Three bits per apple?” Steel tilted his head as he paid for his purchase, “Considering the quality I would’ve thought they would be five bits or more.”

“Well… we could. But if we charge out the nose then nopony would want any.” Applejack explained.

“Fair enough.” Steel said after some thought, “Actually are you hiring?”

“You looking for work?” Now it was Applejack’s turn to tilt her head, “Ain’t you working for Rarity and around town? You sure you want to add farm work onto that?”

“Well I’m aiming to buy that cottage outside of town.” Steel answered, “When I get the prosperity I’ll ease off.”

Applejack was aware of what he was talking about, local legend is that the place was haunted but she personally thought the story was a load of horseapples. Though she was wise enough to know that she didn’t know everything, so who knew? Maybe the place really is haunted.

“Well if yer sure there sugarcube.” Applejack said, “Though I thought ya should know. Local legend says that place is haunted.”

“It’s fine. I ain’t scared of no ghosts.” Applejack blinked, why did that sound like he was quoting something?

“Well, if yer sure.” Applejack said, “Stop by Sweet Apples in the morning and we can get you started.”

Steel nodded, “Well see you then!” He said before trotting off humming.

Applejack watched him leave, or more accurately his flanks.

“Ma would be tannin’ mah flank fer sounding a chauvinist but… damn those flanks are amazing!”

“What.” Applejack looked at a sheepish Big Mac and Steel, “Did you do?”

“C-Come on Jackie… it was just an accident…” Steel said with a sheepish chuckle, “I think it's safe to say neither one of us expected that rock to go flying like that!”

“Eeyup.”

Applejack’s hackles rose, “You. Broke. Old Appleton!”

“I didn’t mean to” Steel exclaimed, and at least he wasn’t denying it.

“Ma and Pa got married under that tree! I was hoping…” Applejack just trailed off before she glared at Steel, “Yer gonna make this right!”

“Of course! Anything!” Steel said, “I know it’ll never make up for the tree but I’ll do anything.”

“... Two weeks of overtime at half pay.” Applejack eventually said.

Big Mac just raised a brow at that and immediately saw this for what it is. And Big Mac was rather happy to see his sister taking an interest in somepony, hell even he found himself liking the big lug himself.

“Absolutely.” Steel said without a moment’s hesitation, “I’ll show up earlier than usual. What time do you get to work exactly?”

Applejack tried not to show how impressed she was.

“Crack of dawn.” She answered, “I’ll be expecting you then.”

The unspoken ‘or else’ was plainly heard by Steel, who just nodded his head.

“Of course.” Steel said, “And I’ll say it again, I am sorry. Especially now that I know how important the tree is to you.”

Applejack just nodded and decided to get back to tending the now very dead tree.

“Tarnations… I think Ma and Pa would be over the moon if they met this fella. Shucks, Granny and Ma would’ve already been planning a wedding…”

With a sniff that nopony could hear Applejack got to work.

“I don’t get it…” Applejack tilted her head as she listened to Applebloom who should’ve been tending to her lessons!

“Here, I’ll help.” Steel’s deep voice stopped her from coming over to chastic her sister, “Though I’m not going to do all the work for you. It might not seem like it now but your education is important.”

“But… I hate math!” Applebloom fused getting a rolling chuckle from the stallion.

“Honestly I'm not to fond of math myself.” Steel confessed, “However mathematics will help you in your life. Whether it’s tending to the family business or building those ramps and other things with your friends.”

Applebloom just grumbled and Applejack soon heard her writing with Steel quietly helping her and showing her where she messed up and guiding her on how to not make the same mistake again. Applejack just smiled before she snuck off so as to not disturb them.

“Good with younguns’ how has nopony not snatched him up?”

“I think I know why noponies snatched him up…”

It was entirely by accident too. Applejack was doing some after-applebucking stretches, Big Mac knows she does this in the barn so she doesn’t expose herself to all and sundry. And it wasn’t until Steel came in with a wagon full of apples and he got himself an eyeful did she realize that Steel was never informed of her habit.

And well… Steel reacted like any stallion attracted to mares would.

“Tarnations…”

Though Applejack was unlike most other mares as she wasn’t put off by his size, if anything she liked it when stallions were a bit bigger than her. And seeing he was bigger in a whole different way well… if Applejack’s willpower wasn’t as strong as it was she would’ve winked at him, and definitely not with her eye.

Steel of course beat a hasty retreat shortly after he got an eyeful, and Applejack let him think she didn’t notice. And she did in fact finish her stretches.

Then she had a whole different issue to take care of.

She didn’t leave the barn for another thirty minutes.

(Omake) Would You Rather by Bronze Inkwell

Rainbow: "So Steel, I have a question."

Steel: "Yeah, what is it?"

Rainbow: "Would you rather have only one pony to buck for the rest of your life, or buck as many ponies as you want but you can only buck them once."

Steel: That's a tough one. I suppose the answer could honestly go either way as long as there is more to the relationship or ships then just sex. Call me old fashion but I happen to like some romance.

Rainbow: Celestia! You're so damn mushy!

Rainbow *thinking*: I'm going to rut your brains out you big lug!!!

(Omake) Extended The Stash by Reignofgeekaos of QQ

Author's Note

The last four lines are me extending the omake.

(Omake) Extended The Stash by Reignofgeekaos of QQ

And next time a duet with the girls where they end up doing Bohemian Rhapsody.

Steel: "...The buck did this pornstatch come from? What the actual buck?"

Celestia "...Oh my...it's been so long since I went on a mustache ride."

Twilight embarrassed like only a child can be after finding out their parents have the sex "...Mom!.."

Celestia: Mom!?

Twilight: Well... you're like my second mother anyway so...

Steel: Oh! Kinky!~

Twilight/Celestia: STEEL!

(Omake) Firing Mah Dicsar!!! by Its Raining of QQ

If Steel become a alicorn in the future, his tool might grew big (and magical) enough for him to use as a horn to use magic.

"Oh my...!" Fluttershy pretend to cover her eyes, blushing red like lava.

"Darn! He's shooting laser beams from his dick!" Applejack says, her mouth agape. "Hey Twilight, can unicorns do that too?"

"They can't!" Shouts Twilight outraged at the impossible deed.

"Now Steel's just like a Ponyzord!" Says an very excited Pinkie.

(Omake) Bad Alicorn by Reignofgeekaos of QQ

Post ascension, Steel, Rarity, Celestia and Twilight are at the grand reveal of a new toy line that's been sold exclusively at the first two's new store

Steel not exactly bothered by what's going on but he's not exactly sure it's a good idea either "Are you sure this is a good idea Rares? Except for a couple of people the size was an issue before."

Rarity tuts from where she's putting the finishing touches on the display "Yes darling, we've gone over this. According to lady Celestia as a result of your Ascension, your alpha male-ness is going to drive any stallions away. So any remaining mares are going to need a way to get used to things. Isn't that right Lady Celestia?"

Celestia whose 'helping' snorts a bit "Yep there going to need to get used to taking that light pole you call a cock.

Twilight who has just a filthy mouth as the others but gets embarrassed when they talk about sex in public. Especially Tia and Rarity because they act so posh "Mom! Rarity!"

And that's how the Bad Alicorn line of dildos was born.

3: (1st POV version) Twilight Steel

The first thing I needed to do was to make sure all the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration were in order and to do it quickly. Afterwards, I will go to the library and see what more I can look up anything on the Elements of Harmony. Making friends is tertiary to ensuring the celebration of the Princess and saving all of Equestria. Not that I needed friends anyway.

I had Princess Celestia, Cadence, my parents, my sister, and Spike. That was more than enough interpersonal connections to provide both a social safety net and casual conversation. I didn’t need anypony else! ‘I just wish the Princess understood that!’

Though admittedly, I did sort of feel bad for not going to Moondancer’s birthday party.

Sitting across from me was my assistant/adopted brother/quasi-son Spike, a baby dragon with purple and green scales. He was currently engrossed in the latest issue of some comic. I wasn’t paying attention to what it was, I had a lot of important things on my mind.

Since we had a bit of time before we arrived in Ponyville, I dug into my saddlebags for a book on Equestrian legends. Maybe I missed something that could give me a hint to defeating Nightmare Moon.

“Okay. So what’s first on the agenda?”

Spike unfurled a checklist and looked over it for a few moments while riding on my back.

“First we’re going to Sweet Apple Acres to check to make sure the catering is in order.” Spike said, licking his lips faintly, which earned him an eye roll.

“Okay. Now… how do we get there?” I pondered to myself.

With no better options, I looked around for some ponies to ask for directions. Thankfully, there was a pair talking nearby, a stallion and mare.

“Sorry Mr. Cavalry, your order from Appaloosa hasn’t arrived yet.” The mare said apologetically.

“It’s fine Miss Doo, probably foolish to expect it so soon.” The giant of a stallion rumbled with a surprisingly deep voice, “How has little Dinky been? I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“Oh, my little muffin is a little angel. Sparkler is foalsitting for me while I work.” Ms. Doo was a rather cute gray pegasus with a case of strabismus that somehow made her even cuter. Her easy smile lent her an air of approachability.

“You know I could watch Dinky. I know Sparkler is a busy mare herself.” The stallion offered with a smile of his own.

“It’s fine Mr. Fixit.” Ms. Doo cheekily retorted, “Now I gotta get back to work! Bye!~” She added before giving the stallion a nuzzle and flying off.

“Damn touchy-feely ponies…” The stallion muttered. Though he was not truly upset.

I completely understood that sentiment. I’m not comfortable with ponies in my personal space. However, given how friendly those two seemed, and his lack of offense, I suspect that was not an actual complaint.

“Hey, perhaps we could ask him for help!” Spike exclaimed, having the same thought as me and drawing the stallions' attention.

Mr. Calvary, as I assume his name was, tilted his head and approached, and oh, wow... He’s a lot bigger than I had first thought. His coat was a soot gray and possessed a natural ruffled look that suited him, and his mane and tail were black with streaks of gray peppered throughout. As he got closer I noticed odd marks all over his face and couldn’t figure out if they were natural or not.

“You two need some help?” he asked in a very pleasant bass, “Oh, allow me to introduce myself. Steel Cavalry, local Mr. Fixit.”

“Oh. Um, I’m Twilight Sparkle.” I was trying to get my hooves back under me. I was not accustomed to interacting with a stallion of this stature, especially a helpful one with manners. “And this is Spike. We’re here to make sure the Summer Sun Celebration is running smoothly.”

“Hmm? Well, an important guest then!” Steel said with some amusement, “Never understood the fuss myself but whatever. Where do you need to go first?”

‘Wait, what!’ It was all I could do to keep my shock in check. ‘The Summer Sun Celebration, our chance to celebrate Princess Celestia herself, not to mention this being the millennial celebration of her peaceful and prosperous rule at that, and he “doesn’t understand the fuss”!’ I had to shake off the need to educate this giant brute. But back to the point, I had a list of priorities, and correcting the ignorance of the populace was not on it.

“Sweet Apple Acres, if you wouldn’t mind.” I said.

“Huh, food I suppose. Well if you’re having the Apples cater you’re in good hooves.” Steel said, “Sure I’ll show you the way, I need to see if they need any help anyway.”

I nodded and was all set to politely follow Steel, but that proved entirely unviable. I quickly trotted up to walk beside him instead, trying in vain to get the image of his testes out of my head. They were large enough to show even when Steel’s tail was politely down! Perfectly smooth and symmetrical, just peeking around that salt and pepper tail...

If Steel noticed he didn’t comment, but then again why would he? Such an indication of virility is a great mark of pride among stallions. And he is no doubt accustomed to mares admiring his assets.

Spike, however, knew me better and got a telekinetic dope slap for his snicker.

Sweet Apple Acres was a very impressive apple farm. No, it was beyond impressive. It was immense and well maintained. There was nothing but bright green leaves and intensely red apples as far as the eye could see. I couldn’t enjoy the scenery much, with Steel Calvary amused by my reaction. It was somewhat embarrassing to be caught staring like a tourist.

“The Apples were one of the founding families and have worked this land since day one.” Steel explained, “And the land has been very good to them.”

“I see,” I said. “It’s a very impressive plantation. Do you know if it is family operated, or do they hire others to help?”

“It’s family-owned and operated.” Steel answered, “Though they’ll never turn down a helping hoof and they’ll always pay you for your troubles. They were certainly kind to me when I first moved in. Now I mostly just do repairs and help during large harvests if they ask.”

I nodded as Steel led us towards a large homestead. As we got closer, but still much farther than I would have considered hearing distance, he pulled in a deep breath.

“Oi Jack! Got a mare here to check on catering!” He called, with a slight country accent that was decidedly missing from his previous conversation, “Get your flank over here!”

“Oh, you shush up Mister!” An orange freckled mare with a notched stetson retorted as she trotted over. “Howdy there! I reckon yer here about the catering like the big lug said?”

Steel just snorted before trotting off towards a rather large red stallion, almost as large as Steel himself. I might have watched him walk away an extra few seconds. Thankfully, I wasn’t called out on it.

“Yes. I’m Twilight Sparkle,” I said, “I’m here to make sure the catering is satisfactor- are… those two wrestling?”

“Oh, that’s just those two being overgrown foals.” The mare said, rolling her eyes as Steel and his companion rolled around, “Big Mac was the strongest pony in Ponyville till Steel showed up. Not sure when they got started with this goofin around. Well, the big lug went and made me forget my manners. I’m Applejack! Pleasure ta met ya partner!” This was said with an offered hoof, that quickly became a very, very energetic shake.

With introductions completed, I was given a quick tour of the preparations. I did interrupt Applejack’s tour before I was taken through the entire farm though. “Well, I see that you have everything under control, and I need to go. There’s a great deal I need to make sure is in order.”

I had turned to leave but was quickly halted by a most uncomfortable yank on my dock. I looked over my shoulder to see that Applejack had grabbed my tail. With her teeth. My tail was in her mouth. ‘I... I, what? Is this a thing here!?’

“Nothin’ doing their partner,” Applejack said after dropping my tail as if this is a common occurrence. “Y'all can’t just come to Sweet Apple Acres without tryin’ the vittles now.”

“Don’t try to argue.” Steel recommended from behind the apple farmer, “Apples are extremely stubborn, and when they set their minds to something they rarely change it.”

“Yer just hankering for mah famous apple pie!” Applejack retorted eyeing him.

“Guilty as charged.” Steel said, “I would love some of your pie. Give me half a chance and I’ll lick the tin clean.”

I had never been quite so glad that Spike was too young to understand innuendo. Or perhaps he’s just being oblivious? Dracon maturation is weird. But he didn’t catch it and judging from Applejack’s blush and how my face felt on fire, everypony else did.

“So! Okay. Food.” I’m not sure if these two have a relationship, but I was not comfortable in the middle of it. “Lead the way Applejack!”

Steel just snickered as we all headed inside the homestead.

I watched as a pleasantly stuffed (Giggity) Twilight slowly trotted off with a near-comatose dragon on her back. I had been surprised to see her. I hadn’t been keeping track of time, so the beginning of the “canon storyline” had snuck up on me. It had left me rather at a loss.

I could just leave her alone to do her thing and the day would be saved regardless. I could stay in town to try and keep order. Though realistically, I suspected that wasn’t an option due to my very presence changing things. Butterfly Effect is a bitch to deal with.

So, I think I might have to keep Moonie occupied to let the mares get the Elements. Then they could hit her with the Rainbow Laser of Friendship to exorcise the Nightmare spirit from Luna.

“You know what this means bud.”

[Understanding]
[Worry]

“I know bud. I know. But I might have to keep Moonie occupied. Just make sure the Beacon is ready okay? And possibly have the Auto-Doc or Rejuvenation Chamber prepped and ready depending on how messed up I get. If the worst happens, have one of the Androids dump my Core into a New-Life Tub.”

[Alarm]

“I don’t like it either but it’s possible. I’m about to throw myself at an Alicorn. And no matter how weakened she is from a thousand years banishment she’s still a powerful entity. I might have to lower my [Restrictions] to keep up.”

[Query]

“I don’t care! Better to overestimate than to underestimate an opponent. She might be weakened, but Moonie still has access to Luna’s experience. She was considered the Warrior Goddess, and it was probably for a reason.”

Deciding that arguing with my CPU was a waste of time, I decided to head home. I needed to finish the construction of the generator that will finally allow my shop to fully activate. And I also needed to prep the Auto-Doc, the Rejuvenation chamber, and a New-Life tub. Though I hoped I wouldn’t need the tub.

I had no desire to experience childhood, er foalhood again.

Although if I did have to grow up again my dick would probably be more manageable… no. Never mind!

Shaking my head, I made my way home. I’d probably get my androids to get me off, wouldn’t want to pop a boner in front of Moonie after all!

… Though that alone could lead to some amusement… and I could check “Cockslap a Goddess” off my bucket list… hmm…

[Exasperation]

14: The Power of Friendship

<<>>

“I have a very faint idea how this is going to go…” I muttered to myself as Mayor Mare gave Jackie a medal or something for saving the town.

I’m not at all familiar with the “Stations of Canon” as I’ve stated before, I mostly stuck to fanfiction, but I do however know some of the “Points of Canon” like… Pinkie having a big freak out and going crazy over something, an overly aggressive catbird making Shy cry, an invasion of some sort, Discord escaping, Twicorn, and something about vines. However I’m not relying on any foreknowledge I might have, or at least I’m trying not to, because my very presence might derail the “story” for the lack of a better word.

And if I recall correctly, which I might not honestly, I think this is one of those important bits. Though the sequence of events honestly escapes me. Granted I could easily refresh my memory but what’s the point?

This is my life, it’s not an episodic chronicle or anything of the sort. So relying on something that might “possibly” be true but with everything but the important bits trimmed out, besides… I never could get into the show honestly.

Eventually everypony started to leave and I approached Jackie with a smile.

“Congrats.” I said I approached the Apple mare.

“Thanks sugarcube.” Jackie said with a smile, “Though I’m surprised I didn’t see you doing anything Mister Hero.” She retorted with a giggle.

“Honestly? I was taking a nap with Snowball.” I answered honestly, getting a laugh from Jackie.

“Just don’t be copying Rainbow too much sugarcube!~” She teased getting a snort from me.

“Yeah, no worries about that. I’m not that lazy.” I said, “Anyways I just wanted to congratulate you. And if you need anything don’t be afraid to come by and ask okay.”

“Okay sugarcube.” Jackie said.

I just gave her a quick nuzzle before I trotted off.

Humming I lazily flicked through “Daring Doo and the Temple of the Minotaur” absentmindedly wondering if this would be a good shared interest to bond over with Rainbow Dash. Well if she was reading the series anyway, I’m not sure if it is fanon or not that she’s obsessed with the series.

Snowball was resting on my head lazily following along, such a sweet little girl!

We were pulled out of our reading when somepony knocked on our door. Frowning faintly at the interruption I pulled Snowball off my head and sat her down on her little bed, she gave an unamused hiss before she curled up.

I just snorted at the decidedly catty reaction before I got up and trotted over to the door, opening it to see Twilight on the other side.

“Whatcha need Twi?” I asked.

Twilight blushed, possibly from my shortening her name or because she recalled our first kiss.

“Um, well Applejack is working herself ragged so I’m hoping if I along with the rest of her friends can talk some sense into her and accept our help.” Twilight explained.

“Sounds like a good plan.” I said, “Let me get Snowball and I’ll head on over. You can get Fluttershy and the rest of the girls.”

Twilight smiled gratefully and gave me a nuzzle, “Thank you.”

I just chuckled and returned the nuzzle, I still didn’t like all this tactile stuff but I was getting used to it.

Twilight backed away and then popped away leaving me blinking.

“Huh, so that’s what teleportation looks like.” I mumbled as I went back inside to get Snowball, my head already developing various methods (some efficient, some not-so efficient) of teleporting.

“Jackie stop being a stubborn plothole and accept our help.” I said finally getting tired of Jackie’s mulishness, “You’re exhausted. I have no doubt Bloom could put you on your flank. Now shut up and let your friends help you or so help me I’ll tie you up myself and carry you up to your room!”

Jackie was wide eyed and beet red at my threat.

Pinkie was giggling a bit too excitedly.

Rainbow Dash was laughing as well, but I could also see a faint blush as well.

Rarity looked at me impressed, and I now know she had a thing for dominance.

Fluttershy… well now I KNOW she’s a sub.

Twilight well… she looked surprised and looked like she wanted to kiss me again.

“That’s your ultimatum Jackie.” I said, “Either accept our help or I carry out my threat and you’ll have to explain what actually happened to Granny Smith as well as your brother and sister. Hoofball’s in your court Applebutt.”

My piece said I simply sat down and waited for everything to process. I knew it wouldn’t take long, Jackie wasn’t “simple” by any means.

“... Okay sugarcube…” Jackie said with a sigh.

This of course led to a big group hug, with me awkwardly joining at the insistence of Pinkie.

After a long day the girls and I managed to get half of the massive orchard finished, and in a usual showing of Apple family hospitality we were invited to a nice apple-themed supper.

I chuckled faintly when Granny Smith chided Jackie for being so prideful to not ask for help, especially when she knew she needed it. Which followed a “Well… you came by it honestly…” which suggested that either one (or both) of Jackie’s parents were very similar in that regard.

Rainbow and Pinkie were having some sort of eating contest, all in all I wasn’t too surprised given Rainbow’s competitive streak. Pinkie probably just wanted to have some fun.

Fluttershy was eating quietly while asking Snowball if I was taking good care of her.

Rarity was simply enjoying herself and eating like a proper lady.

And Twillight was just coasting on the friendship vibes (or something) then looked at me. I just smirked and winked at her which made her blush and focus on her food.

Adorable.

Applebloom found the entire byplay amusing and just giggled.

(Omake) ANGERY SEX!!!!

Author's Note

Yeah I thought I would put all the omakes from my thread over on here as well.
There's only one so far but as more are made (either by myself or others) I'll be posting them here!
Also if anyone here wants an omake you can just write one up and PM it to me and I'll post it and give it whatever title you want and credit you!

(Omake) ANGERY SEX!!!!

Twilight: Alright girls! Everypony get ready and let's show her the Power of Friend... ship...?

Fluttershy: O-Oh my...

Rarity: Such savage barabrity! So... so... hot...

Rainbow Dash: Lucky bitch...

Applejack: I can't rightly tell... are they fightin' or ruttin'??

Pinkie: ANGERY SEX!!!!!!!!

(Omake) (Extended) Testing by Reignofgeekaos of QQ

Twilight: So people keep going on and on about how you could knock out a Buffalo with that thing. So we're going to test it!

Steel: Huh? Test what?!

Twilight: If you can really drive rivets through a steel plate with your giant deck! Among other things! For magical science!

Steel: “When you say ‘knock out’ do you mean by hitting them with it, or by hitting them with it?” (added by FourthPear of QQ)

Twilight: "Why not both! We're going to test everything and everything! Lady Celestia said you made a dragon look small and Spike is scared of you after seeing it! So we're going to see just how powerful you're war dong really is! And then...

Steel starting to think Twilight is drunk "Are you drunk?"

Twilight looks offended "What! No! I don't drink! I just had some of the glowing purple stuff Pinkie brought. Anyways, I digress and after exhaustive testing you can shove it in and take my virginity!

Steel blinks then blinks again "...I'm okay with that." (extended by Reignofgeekaos of QQ)

Author's Note

Short but honestly it paints one hell of a picture!
Edit: Extended now!