Anon’s welcome party, to his surprise, was exactly what he had wanted. As Pinkie promised, she reigned in her usual spectacle. To her disappointment, there were no streamers, no balloons, and certainly no party cannon.
There was also a lack of a real crowd. The only invited guests were the Elements, the Crusaders (plus Diamond Tiara, on her request), the duo, Starlight and Trixie, Spike, Princess Luna, and of course, Princess Celestia.
The party was held in the library of the Friendship Castle, right in front of the portal leading to home. There was a lone table of snacks and refreshments. The table was also the place he rested his phone, which played a playlist of all of Anon’s safest music choices.
The party had gone on for a good few hours. Anonymous spent the majority of the party regaling numerous stories throughout human history. These stories included mythological tales from places such as Greece, Japan, and Egypt, most especially. He also told tales of great wars that ravaged for decades, both old and recent. He even told the stories of single historical figures, remembered for centuries. Although Twilight was clearly the most invested of the guests, Anonymous made sure that his unique brand of commentary kept even the Crusaders wanting to hear more.
“So then Diogenes barged back into the classroom, right?” Anon recounted. “I’m talking like kicking in the door, like he just didn’t give a damn. He holds up this bird, plucked clean of all the feathers. He smirks in this raggedy ass tunic and goes, “Behold, a man!” Funniest shit they ever heard.” The group all chuckled as Anon held an unamused Scootaloo by her back leg. Before Scootaloo could start bucking her remaining leg in Anon’s general direction, he turned her over and held her comfortably in his arms. This managed to appease the filly, who accepted the immediate head pats afterwards.
“This Diogenes sounds like a very...interesting gentleman.” Fluttershy commented, unsure if interesting was the right word.
“I think he and I would make good friends!” Pinkie exclaimed with a hop, causing another round of laughter. “What? I really think we would?”
“Ah’d sooner believe this Dio fella would hang around Discord, what with all the trouble makin’.” Applejack added. She took a swig of apple cider, which she was kind enough to have brought to the party. Rainbow would’ve interjected, had she not been downing a mug.
“It would make sense.” Rarity picked up the conversational baton. “Two unscrupulous degenerates making a mockery of high society? They’d be a perfect couple.”
“That’s hella gay, Rarity.” Rainbow finally added, returning after getting another mug of cider. Rarity gasped at Rainbow’s language, while she just shrugged. “What? Anon says it all the time.”
Anon facepalmed. “Wow, I really am a bad influence.”
“Yup.” Starlight answered simply, hip checking Anon playfully. “All the more reason you have to leave, huh?” She winked up at Anon, who replied with a small, if a little sad, smile.
“Now hold on, Starlight!” Twilight interrupted. “Anonymous doesn’t have to leave right now. It’s up to him to decide, if at all.” She looked up at Anon. “You do know this, right?”
“I know, I know.” Anon replied, waving off Twilight’s radiating concern. “I feel it’s best to get it over with. The more I stay, the more it’s gonna hurt later.” With that said, the music is suddenly cut off in the room. Anon walked over to the table to investigate and ultimately confirm his suspicion. The phone had died, signaling the end of festivities. Anon sighed and pocketed his phone. He knew where his charger lied: on the other side of the mirror.
“Alright, hussies. Listen up.” Anonymous declared, turning to meet the crowd. All the ponies faced him, curious as to what he was going to say. Almost as curious as Anon himself, for he wasn’t quite sure.
“Uh, well, I just wanted to say thanks. Sincerely. From the bottom of my heart. I know I can be rude. And obnoxious. And vulgar. And-anyway, I can be a hassle to put up with. In honesty, it always was, and still is, in defense of actually forming any connections. I feared that if I made any friends, I would lose them. I thought I was going to now. Arguably, I am. But! But I at least haverhese memories to cherish and remind myself that I can do it. I wouldn’t have tried if not for you. All of you. So, yeah.”
Anon awkwardly stood there, his blood boiling beneath the skin from embarrassment. A moment of silence held in the room. That was, until Celestia slowly began clapping her hooves together. The rest of the room followed in applause, which took a little weight off Anon’s shoulders.
“You have nothing to fear, Anonymous.” Celestia assured him. “All of us present love you for who you are, no matter how unsure you are of yourself.” Anon rolled his eyes, feeling like he had been read like an open book. To be fair, he probably was.
Anon slowly contemplated his next choice of words. “Actually...it’s about time you all knew.” Everypony watched Anonymous with renewed interest. Anon looked down at the floor, biting his tongue in his mouth.
“Avon,” He said out of nowhere, confusing everyone in the room. Anon let out all the breath he had held in. “Avon Smith. That was my name. I had initially told Spike when we first met and I guess that the first part of that name sounded a lot like “Anon”, so he ended up calling me Anonymous. I didn’t want to reveal my name, as it made me feel naked, so I adopted it. So, yeah.”
Again, the room fell to silence. The ponies all mulled over the new name.
“Avon, huh?” Rainbow asked, rolling the word on her tongue. “Yeah, I can see how he messed up.”
“Hey!” Spike yelled, causing yet another round of joyous laughter. “Avon” crouched down and patted Spike on the back.
“Cheer up, you screw up gave me a good cover identity.” Avon smiled and noogied the dragon. He was surprised when Spike turned around and gave him a tight hug.
“I’m gonna miss you, big buy.” Spike said, eyes watering up. Avon’s breath was caught in his throat, but he found it within himself to hug the dragon firmly. Twilight, endeared by the display, trotted over and hugged the both of them. Then, one by one, each pony joined in the group hug. Even Trixie, who insisted that she only came because Starlight made her and there was food present. Celestia and Luna wrapped them all in their wings, completing the action.
The hug held for a few minutes, Avon enjoying the fluffiness and warmth for what could possibly be the last time. Then, when he felt his arms and legs begin to ache, he slowly stood, breaking the group apart. With a sigh, he walked over to the mirror portal. He saw his dorm room before him, exactly as he remembered it. Avon slowly brought up a hand to the mirror. He hesitated, then with a shake of his head, forced his hand through. Fortunately, it didn’t disintegrate upon touching it and appeared within the room ahead of him.
Avon looked back one last time. He wanted to get one last look at everyone he came to know and ultimately love. Starlight waved a hoof, as Trixie pouted and looked elsewhere. Starlight looked over at Trixie and gave her a look. This managed to make Trixie flush red, pulling down her hat to hide her face.
“Let it be known that the human made a promise to Trixie to help teach her his deceitful ways and now chooses to abandon Trixie.” Trixie shouted loudly for everyone to hear. She then looked down, keeping her hat in place with a hoof. “The human is very cruel.”
“She’s going to miss arguing with you.” Starlight added with a smirk.
“See ya, partner! You know, if we do.” Applejack tipped her hat to him. “Know that you got another family on the other side, rootin’ for ya!”
“Bye, Nonny!” Pinkie shouted, practically pushing Applejack to the side. “Oh wait, guess I can’t call you Nonny anymore, huh? What about Vonny? No, that wouldn’t work. Jeez, why do I feel like I’m forgetting something.”
“Goodbye, Avon.” Twilight interrupted, knowing Pinkie won’t stop once she gets going. She had spoken calmly at first, until an epiphany came to her. “Oh, but if this isn’t our final goodbye, would you mind bringing back a few books? History, Fiction, Historical Fiction, whatever you have on end. Wouldn’t want to let knowledge from another world go to waste!”
“Assalamu alaykum!” Spike shouted, the pounded his hand over his heart and pointed to Anon.
Anon smiled knowingly and returned the gesture. “Alaykum As-salām.” The interaction thoroughly confused the other ponies.
“Au revoir, darling!” Rarity added, waving her hoof daintily before suddenly becoming stern. “While you’re home, do consider trying on those outfits I made for you! I did not toil over them for you to hang them in a closet and collect dust. I will know!”
“Goodbye, Mr. Smith.” Fluttershy said softly. “Make sure to show some love for that cat of yours. I’m willing to bet she missed you a lot!”
“Later, Avon!” Rainbow saluted Avon. “Stay awesome!” Finally, Anon though to himself. A brief goodbye.
“Goodbye, Anonymous!” The Crusaders exclaimed in unison, frantically waving their hooves.
“Yes, goodbye.” Diamond Tiara added more calmly. “And know that if you do make it back, my father has a position for you as his princess’s personal groomer!” Avon rolled his eyes.
“Goodbye, Avon.” Princess Celestia said. “I hope you continue to carry us within your heart.” She placed a wing over her Sister’s back.
“And know, dear Avon.” Princess Luna added. “That we will carry you within ours.”
Avon looked out over all the ponies one last time. Then, he turned toward the mirror. He took a deep breath.
And walked through.
It was quiet in the room. Hell, it was quite in the entire dorm. Avon looked around and found himself in almost complete darkness, were it not for the lone lamp on his desk that illuminated the room. The window indicated that it was definitely pass midnight and the microwave clock confirmed it.
Anon stood in the darkness, wondering if he had just woken up from a dream. However, he only needed to look down and find that he was standing upright and wore the simple clothes Rarity sewed for him. After Avon’s eyes acclimated to the dark he risked taking a step, then another. He walked over to his charger and plugged his phone into the charger. When the screen came alive, his breath almost caught in his breath.
He had forgotten that during the party, he had taken a photo with all the ponies. He was only just reminded by the picture appearing as his background on his lock screen. Avon bit his lip and forced himself to put the phone down. He figured the best way to relax was to eat some human food for once. He walked to his mini-fridge, his footsteps finally disturbing a cat lying on his bed.
“Hi, Bree-Bree!” Avon greeted the cat, scratching on the head. Sabrina, a grey tabby with a sleepy gaze, barely paid much attention to Avon. It was because of this cat he got a dorm room usually assigned to two for himself, so he let her apathy slide. “Typical.”
Avon continued to the mini-fridge, noticing something in the microwave that rested on top of it. Inside was a half-eaten burger. Avon places his hand on it and, to his surprise, it was warm. Avon stood up, confused. He was gone for months, how could his food still be hot. Was that time travel spell legit? Did he return to the exact time before he was sent to Equestria. He put his fingers to his temples and thought about the last thing he remembered before he ended up in the Everfree.
“Okay, so.” Avon started, mentally retracing his steps. “I was eating leftovers. I got them from when I stopped by the cafeteria. I was reheating my food when…” Avon followed the light of the microwave on the floor, piecing together the events in his mind. The light fell upon a book, thick with pages.
Avon slowly approached the book. On the worn leather cover was an emblem of a horse in gold. Avon lightly kicked the book before picking it up.
“Where did I find this?” Avon silently asked himself. He opened the book, skimming through its pages. Surprisingly, he could make out most of the words, meaning it was in Ponish. He turned back to the first page and read aloud. “Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria…”
Suddenly, the book began to glow brightly and rumble within his hands. Avon quickly dropped the book, letting out a rather pathetic shriek. The book landed on the floor and began to vibrate more violently. Then, the cover threw itself open and the pages flipped through themselves rapidly. Avon held his breath, wondering if he had made the same mistake twice.
A portal opened up before him, blinding him briefly with its glow. Suddenly, out came a familiar pink horse. Avon’s jaw dropped.
“Oh my gosh, I totally remembered what I totally forgot!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, something resting in her back. “I had made you a welcome/farewell basket full of home baked goodies!” Pinkie sat on the floor, going through the basket.
“P-Pinkie?” Avon asked in incredulous disbelief. The pony was without a doubt Pinkie Pie, although slightly different from how she looked in Equestria. She was a little more desaturated and she didn’t have that same sparkle in her eyes, but from the fur to the proportions, this was indeed Pinkamena Diane Pie. Pinkie took a bite of a muffin.
“Uh, yeah?” Pinkie asked. “Who else could I be, silly?” She offered the muffin to Avon, who still had trouble processing the amount of what going on.
Twilight poked her head through the portal. “Pinkie Pie!” She yelled angrily “Why in Celestia’s name would you jump through a portal you don’t know-is this the human world?”
Twilight was sidetracked by the sight of the room. She lit up her horn, illuminating the entire room. She stepped through entirely, turning in place to take in her alien surroundings. Meanwhile, Avon was still staring at the two ponies bug-eyed.
“My magic still works! That means…” Twilight levitated Pinkie Pie off of the ground and chucked her back through the portal. “There! Pinkie, you never cease to scare the daylights out of me.” Twilight shook her head, before remembering that Avon was in the room staring at her.
“H-How…” Avon started, but the words died in his throat.
“I don’t know!” Twilight responded with pure excitement rather than confusion. “I didn’t expect that my spell would successfully create a link between worlds. I mean, yes, it was a possibility, but merely a slim one! If I could connect the portal to this world, I wonder if I could create an algorithm that sorts through other worlds. I could create a multidimensional teleported that connects multidimensions! I could even-“
“That’s enough, Twilight.” Celestia interrupted, stepping through the portal herself. “While this is a very exciting development, I think our friend here deserves some time to recollect.” She nodded to Avon, who was still staring at the two ponies. Twilight rubbed the back of her mane.
“Oh, uh, yeah. For another time.” Twilight blushed sheepishly. “Well, now we can really see you later, Avon!” With a hop, Twilight disappeared back through the portal. Celestia looked down at the book that currently held the portal open.
“Hmm.” Celestia mumbled, then faced Avon. “Are you quite alright, Avon? You seem...shocked.”
“I said my goodbyes…” Avon whispered to no one in particular. “I had a complete breakdown...I cried into a horse like a baby…”
“To be fair, it was you who was so sure that this portal would be a point of no return.” Celestia rationalized. She then gave Avon a warm, friendly smile. “It seems as though our story isn’t quite as over as you thought.”
“Did you know this would happen?” Avon asked coldly with an icy glare to boot. Celestia only giggled into her hoof.
“Now, Avon.” Celestia started, holding out a hoof defensively. “Even if I were to know if the portal wasn’t a one-way, what would be the fun in telling you?” She smiled again, this one feeling particularly sketchy.
She started backing into the portal. “Feel free to drop by anytime. You have friends on the other side, after all.”
With that, Celestia disappeared past the portal. Not long after, the portal collapsed and the book closed itself. Avon sat for a solid minute in stunned silence. Then, he stood. He walked to the microwave and picked up his leftover burger. He sat down at his desk. “Fucking ponies, man…”
Even if he didn’t want to admit it, however, he was glad that it wasn’t the end. Somehow, life was kind enough to let him keep something this time. He only wondered what the hell could happen from here. Avon slowly lifted the burger to his mouth, but then stopped. He noticed on his desk was a sheet of paper. A syllabus for one of his classes. Something compelled him to read the schedule.
“FUCK! I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW!” Avon screamed loud enough for the whole floor, no, the whole building to hear him.
Maybe life wasn’t so kind.
Author's Note
Surprise, friends!
Another midnight story written on a whim and half a dying brain cell. I apologize for any mistakes, up to and including the ending. Just read it as an allegory for the show ending and chalk up any foibles to my inability and cowardice to ask for help from strangers to be my editor.
This is the end of what I’m calling the “Recluse” arc. I decided that I want to do more varied stories combining HiE and PoE stories that cover a variety of potential story ideas with this character. Oh and “Avon” is now a full fledged OC, no longer a bastardization of the 4chan Anonymous. I was originally gonna call him nigganon, but that’s probably insensitive . Thanks for putting up with my bullshit.
Oh, and the art is based on a minimalist image of a silhouetted guy walking with Twilight with the same phrase. Although, that was in reference to tulpamancy, I think. Still relevant tho.
Also also, the chapter title is in reference to this song. This song is arguably what made me take up this project in the first place. Take a listen, if you care. This is the good hip hop.
