Author's Note

Hey there. I’ve thought about making this story for a little while now and I decided to make something a little more cohesive than my other story. I sure hope you’ll like this one though. More chapters to come soon enough. Have a good day now, and hopefully a better read.

Clown in the circus

“Anon, are you alright?” the large purple Alicorn asks, concern filling her voice as she interrupts her interview with you.

You’re taken back to reality and away from your thoughts at her remark, “Yeah, I’m...I’m fine.”

It’s been about a day since you’d arrived here in Equestria. From your emotional rollercoaster of joy in realizing you’d finally arrived in the land of magical pastel ponies, and grief in finding out that you’d arrived in post-Season 9 finale. You waited so long to meet your dearly beloved, Pinkamena. So many years grieving in hope, and yet even then by a sick twist of fate, you can finally meet her but not even love her. Well, you can love her, but she can’t return those feelings considering she’s...married...and has a family.

You were filled with so much happiness when you woke up in that forest, with the first instinct of visiting Ponyville, and, well...you know how that story played out. You broke down upon seeing Pinkie when you visited Sugarcube Corner.

You woke up several hours later in Canterlot and here you are now with recolored Celestia. You’d be elated to see her as well but right now you just feel empty, opting to answer her questions while you sort out what happens next.

“Well, that should conclude standard protocol. We’re done for now, and as much as I’d like to learn more about you and your kind, I’m too busy with my royal duties. Though I’ll be sure to find out more about you soon enough.” Twilight finalizes.

“Is...is that it?” you ask just to make sure considering that that was a pretty short interview, especially for Twilight.

“Like I said, yes. You don’t seem to be a threat to Equestria, or anycreature for that matter, so this should do for now.”

Short interview without nerding out? Anycreature? Twilight’s really changed, in more ways than one.

“Though before you leave, I do wonder why you broke down on that day. If you don’t me asking, why did you?” the concern fills her expression once more.

“I’m sorry, I was just...tired, I guess.” you make up an excuse. You’re pretty sure she doesn’t buy it but she’s just too busy to pry any more than she already has.

“I suppose you were taken from your world, and the realization of that paired with being the only one of your kind here can wrack one’s thoughts, perhaps even to the point of breaking down like you did. Though I assure you, Anon, that the creatures of my kingdom will do their best to make you feel at home despite being a stranger in a strange land. With that, you’ll be residing in my old castle in Ponyville. That is, if you wish to do so.”

“I’ll take it, Twilight. And thanks.” you address her as you stand from your seat.

“No need to thank me, Anon. Here’s a generous bag of bits until you can find a source of income. Unfortunately, you’ll still need to find a job.”

You take the bag from her magic, “That’s quite alright. I’ll think of something.”

“Well then, if that is all then you better get going. Farewell, Anon. May we meet again soon.” she gives you a brief bow.

“Bye, Twilight.”

The concern never left her expression, most probably because the emptiness never left yours.

You’ve been at the train for a little while now just waiting the remaining hours away. You’ve been staring out the carriage’s window, ignoring all the stares you expected to get. You’re sure Twilight’s gonna let out a notice about you soon enough, but until then…

“Hey there, mister. Mind if I sit here?” a voice pipes up from behind you.

You turn around to find a white Earth pony with...a pink mane. Nurse Redheart? She does seem a little older though.

“S-sure.” you quickly reply.

“Thanks!” she climbs atop the seat next to you, or at least tries to because of how her saddlebags are weighing her down. They’re not exactly packin’, but they do look a little heavy if her huffs are any indication.

“Let me get those for you.” your instinct pops in as you lift her saddlebags for her and set them down between the two of you.

Huh, it’s surprisingly not too heavy despite looking a little bulky. You accidentally sneak a peek inside and notice that there’s a few documents inside among other personal items. It’s almost as if…

“You didn’t need my help, did you?” you raise an eyebrow at her, making sure not to exude any hostility.

“Just wanted to see how kind my seatmate would be before I settled down. But thanks again, mister…?”

“Anonymous.” you tell her.

“Nurse Redheart.” she replies.

“Mr. Anonymous, I couldn’t help but notice you were looking pretty down. Bit for your thoughts?”

At least she didn’t approach you because you’re a weird alien. Then again, it does make sense that she’d approached you because of her instinct as a nurse.

“I’m quite alright. Just a bit tired, I suppose.” you repeat your lie with Twilight, and like Twilight, you’re pretty sure Nurse Redheart doesn’t buy it either.

But she lets up, “I see. So where you headed, Anonymous?”

“Just Anon is fine, and my stop’s at Ponyville.”

“Really? Me too! It’s been my hometown since I was a little filly.”

Just the response you expected. Might as well keep the ball rolling then.

“So where’d you come from?”

“You mean earlier? I was on a medical mission in Canterlot.”

“Alone?”

“Well, I know I’m a little old but I never really did settle with anypony.” she looks a little sad now.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I meant like with medical colleagues or something.”

“O-oh! My apologies!” a crimson blush coats her pristine white fur as she averts her gaze from you.

“I never really had the time to find a special somepony, and I guess I never met anypony I liked that way.”

She’s silent now, lost in her own thoughts of loneliness. Damn it! You gotta do something.

“So about that medical mission?”

Her trance gets broken upon hearing your question, and she seems to have returned to how she was just a short while ago.

“Oh, of course! So I was there at Canterlot with supplies in hoof…”

That sure was one hell of a train ride. You would’ve slept the entire way had Nurse Redheart not approached you, and gosh darn are you glad she did. You had plenty of fun with her, sharing your stories and culture as she did the same, often putting in a dumb joke to share a little laugh.

She did tire after a few hours. With a stretch and a yawn, she kindly ended the conversation with you to sleep. She did move around a lot in her slumber, even to the point of landing her head on your thigh. You didn’t complain of course, choosing instead to just stroke her pink mane.

“Dear passengers, we have arrived at Ponyville! Please make your way out if this is your stop! The train will depart once more shortly!” the train conductor announces through the PA system.

“Hey, wake up. It’s our stop.” you lightly shake Nurse Redheart along her withers.

In a few seconds, she’s gotten up and has slowly registered current local events.

“Hmmm...thanks for waking me up.” she affectionately leans on you as her drowsiness still hasn’t quite left her yet.

You simply respond with a smile as you ruffle her mane once more.

With her eyes still closed, she gets up with her saddlebags and shakes herself off of her sleepy state.

In a little bit, you’re both standing at Ponyville’s train station with luggage in tow. The place is packed with creatures from many different species. You’re getting a few looks, but from Equestria’s increased diversity, that’ll probably naturally end soon.

“So I guess this is it. I’ll see you around, Anon.” she stands on her hooves and gives you a hug around your waist. Huh, at least ponies are still very affectionate. It brings a spark of joy in your heart, but not enough to turn your grief upside down. You still find yourself smiling like an absolute dumbass though.

Quickly, you return the gesture to her with both of your arms. With your luck, that’s the only hug you’ll get in a while.

Letting go, she strikes you a smile before trotting off. The final thing you give her is a wave goodbye.

Alone once again...whatever will you do?

Probably head on over to Twilight’s castle. Glimglam might have a few things to discuss with you.

Stepping off the train station and into Ponyville, your vision is assaulted with tons of confetti shot out of a cannon.

You never thought you’d ever be so disheartened to see such a sight, especially knowing that you’d only see such a sight if one specific pony is present.

“Hey there stranger! I’ve never seen you around here before! Well, except for a few hours ago when you broke down, but that’s why your party pony Pinkie’s here to help cheer you up!” the cheerful pink pony greets you.

You can’t deal with this. Not now.

You decide to walk past her, hoping that she’ll leave you alone eventually. Though knowing her, she probably won’t.

“Actually, I’ve never seen ANYcreature like you before!”

...

“What’s wrong, mister? You seem down in the dumps.”

You don’t respond. Just keep walking.

“Well lil ol’ Pinkie’s gonna throw you a super duper fun party that’ll turn that frown upside down!”

God...you can’t take it. It almost physically hurts.

“Here’s the appetizer!” she shoves a vanilla cupcake in your mouth.

It tastes amazing…it tastes so damn good...

In any other situation, you’d shower her with compliments and hug her with all your might, but you’re not in any other situation.

You start to tear up and let the waterworks run free, not from joy, but rather, from sorrow.

Crying silently, you drop to your knees as you continue chewing on the cupcake.

“O-oh no! Is it something I said? Did I underbake the cupcake? Are you allergic to vanilla?” she draws closer to you and starts to jitter in fear that she did something wrong. Her sky blue eyes stare at you in worry, awaiting an answer.

You reach your hand out and cup her cheek, “It’s...it’s not your fault, Pinkie. I just...need some time alone right now.”

You stand up slowly and start to walk away slowly. You don’t need to turn around to know that she isn’t following you anymore.

You enter the castle after a little walk and roam around a bit, looking for the lavender pony that is Starlight.

Friday evening, she should be here by now.

As expected, you find her in the library, reading “The Count of Mounte Cristo” while she drinks some chamomile tea.

Before entering the room, you wipe your eyes a little with your arm.

“Hey Glimglam.” you call out, to which she flinches and almost spills her tea in her magic.

“Oh, sorry about that. Didn’t mean to startle you, and I should probably just call you ‘Starlight’.” you apologize.

“No no, that’s fine. I kinda like that nickname too.”

You smile a little. At least some things stay the same.

“So Twilight told me a little about you while you were on your way here, Anonymous. I presume she told you a little about me too considering you already know my name.” she starts.

You nod, but she simply starts to examine your face a little.

“That’s odd, your eyes seem a little red. Were you...crying?” she asks in a mix of confusion and concern.

“No, I’m just peachy, Starlight. Must’ve gotten it while I was sleeping on the train.”

“I don’t mean to pry too much, but as a guidance counselor, I have to ask, are you okay? You kinda broke down earlier.”

“Yeah, don’t worry. I guess I just didn’t get enough sleep, but I’m good now.”

“Well, that’s good to hear.” she breathes a sigh of relief before cantering up to you.

“Would you like to have a tour of your new home now?”

“Gladly.”

After about an hour of a tour around the castle, the two of you return to the library.

“So you’ll be living here for as long as you’d like, and that should cover everything you need to know for now about the castle.”

“Thanks, Glimmy.”

She blushes a little at your second nickname.

“Soooooo, any questions?”

“Not really.”

“Great! Now that all that’s done, I can’t wait to learn so much about you and your species!”

“Actually, I’m from another world, and maybe even another dimension.” you inform Starlight, who’s now in awe.

“You are!? Errrrr, I mean, you are? Oooooh there’s so much to discover!”

Well, you always guessed Starlight would react like that, but right now she’s reminding you of Twilight in the past.

The room grows silent as Starlight’s stomach rumbles pretty loudly, “Hehe, I guess that can all wait. I’ve got lots of school work to tend to as well.”

“How about dinner first then before anything else?” you suggest.

“That sounds lovely.”

Soon enough, the two of you arrive in the dining room.

You find “Big guy” Spike and Trixie already serving some food as you enter the room.

“Starlight, who is your hairless ape friend?” Trixie asks nonchalantly.

“Trixie! That’s rude!” Starlight reprimands her friend, but you simply find her attitude to be amusing. Memories of the familiar past make you feel better.

“Anyway, this is Anonymous. He’s a human. Anon, this is Spike and this is Trixie.” Starlight introduces you to each other.

“That’s new. We haven’t seen anycreature like you around here before.” Spike adds.

“That’s because I’m from another world.” you explain.

“Really?” Spike and Trixie both turn towards you.

“Lecture later. Food now.” you say like s trog to which Starlight hums in agreement.

You all take a seat at the table as you examine the food, “Oh dear.”

The table is decorated with food you cannot consume. Whether it be flowers in bread or the muffins with worms inhabiting it.

“Is there something wrong?” Spike asks upon noticing your worried expression.

“I can’t exactly eat flowers.”

“Wanna have some of my worm muffins then?” he politely offers.

“Errr, can’t eat those too.”

“The worms or the muffins? Trixie is curious.” Trixie slips in a question.

“The worms of course.” you answer her.

“How about fruits then? If you can eat those then have some of the blueberry muffins.” Starlight suggests.

“Oh, those are blueberry?” you ask, pointing towards a batch of muffins next to Spike’s worm muffins that you now realize is not being infested with worms.

“Yup, just make sure you grab the right one.” with a snicker, Starlight returns to her meal.

You grab one and start to munch down on it, making sure you did grab the right one. The sweet taste of blueberry confirms it.

“So, have you been enjoying your stay here in Equestria?” Spike asks as he takes a generous bite of his muffins.

“You mean in the last few hours? Well, not bad I guess.” you half-lie.

“Any mares catch your eye yet?” Trixie playfully waggles her eyebrows at you.

Her little joke lingers your thoughts back to a certain pink mare.

“Anon, are you okay?” Starlight asks in worry as you zone out.

Silence ensues as everyone has stopped eating to look at you in worry.

“Anon?” Starlight continues.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I think I just need to have a little stroll for now.”

You pick up another blueberry muffin and politely excuse yourself from the table.

The three of them look at you with concern until you turn the corner out of the dining room.

You just roam around the empty halls and rooms of the castle, reminiscing old episodes you still remember and immersing yourself in the new beauty and tragedy of your life. You eventually find yourself in the castle’s balcony with the absence of the muffin you were carrying as it’s now all in your stomach.

Overseeing the new Ponyville that you’re not familiar with, you zone out once more in your thoughts while you take in the still-majestic view plastered with the starry night sky.

That is, until you hear a knock behind you. Through the large castle doors stands Spike.

“Hey there, you okay? I figured you could eat other fruits too so I brought you some cider. Well, I’m still not sure if you can drink it but if you can, here’s some.”

He walks into the balcony with you as you take his comfort drink, “Thanks, Spike.”

“Oh, well, I’m glad you can drink it.”

You notice that there’s another drink with him, one for him you suppose.

He takes a sip of the frothy, cold cider as you both gaze into Luna’s horizons.

How surreal. You’re having quite the moment with a dragon, looking out onto a humble little town of all sorts of species as you both have a go at cider.

“Tell me, Spike. Have you ever felt lost?” you throw him something to think about, or rather, you’re hoping his answer can possibly help you.

“All the time back when I was still a little dragon, but every time I did, I always knew Twilight would be there to help me.”

Well then, it sure would be nice if you had someone to lean on just like Spike did.

Alas, you’re not so lucky.

“I see. Maybe I’m just tired, but I feel like the world is constantly spiraling down against me. A life long despair, followed by a glimmer of hopes and dreams, and then the sucker punch that I may not recover from. I guess I just feel torn apart right now. You ever feel that, Spike?”

“If it’s anything that I imagine you’re going through, I can’t say I have. Mind telling me?”

The mood is set for that conversation, but maybe now’s not the best time.

“Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t go too much into detail yet. Maybe I’ll tell you soon enough. And even with everything going on right now, I’m still doing okay I guess, so don’t worry about me too much.” you take a swig of your cider.

“I’ll be waiting until then. If you need somecreature to talk to, I’m always here.” Spike takes a sip of his cider as you both look out once more onto Ponyville.

“Life’s a circus, and I’m the clown. Or rather, we’re all the clowns.” you snicker and down the rest of your cider as you notice Spike raising an eyebrow at you.

“Honk honk.” you smile at Spike as he finds himself laughing at your surreal comment.

“I’ll be turning in for the night, big guy. You take it easy now.” you pay his shoulder as you walk past him.

“Good night, Anon. I hope your first night sleeping here will be great.”

“I’ll try to get used to it.”