Minty Sundae Presents Trotline: Caligluna

by Minty Sundae

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Porn, Comedy, Other, Sex
Length: 2733

Minty Sundae hosts a late night Cinemare softcore porn call-in show where her viewers share their most intimate encounters. This vignette features Princess Luna discussing a steamy encounter she had prior to her banishment in the moon.

Minty Sundae hosts a late night Cinemare softcore porn call-in show where her viewers share their most intimate encounters.

This vignette features Princess Luna discussing a steamy encounter she had prior to her banishment in the moon.

As a parody of late night Cinemax (specifically Hot Line) expect a cheesy plot with lame jokes and more foreplay than actual sex.

Published 2020-06-29 03:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-06-29 03:30:00 UTC

Chapter 1

“Welcome to Trotline! I’m Minty Sundae, and this is the show where you call in and tell me all about your steamiest sexual encounters.” She trotted into the middle of the studio and stuck her flank in the air while moving her tail out of the way. The camera zoomed in to better show Minty’s most intimate areas. “I hope everypony’s enjoying the view. Let’s take tonight’s caller!”

“Can thou hearest me?”

“I sure can! Greetings and salutations! I’m Minty Sundae.”

"Greetings fair Minty Sundae! It is thy ruler of the night, Princess Luna."

Minty quickly evaluated her position. Her front legs were laying on the ground, while her rear was high in the sky with her tail raised even higher. "Uh, I guess this is a sorta bow?"

Luna laughed. "Presenting is also acceptable as a form of submission. Neigh, I find it preferable. Consider it a bow with benefits."

"A bow with benefits. I like that! So what can I do ya for tonight, princess?"

"There is no need to pay, Miss Sundae, though the thought is appreciated. I shalt visit you in your dreams tonight."

"You can do that?"

"Oh yes. It has been well over a thousand years since the last time I physically rolled in the hay, but I've continued putting the 'wet' in 'wet dreams' since my return. I understand that thou art a master of the sexual arts. I'm sure you can provide the services severely lacking from this era's wimpy stallions. How the pony race hast continued these past thousand years is truly a mystery to me."

Minty gulped and started shivering. She was a virgin. There was no way she could pleasure the princess in the way she wanted. "Uh..."

"But I digress. I've seen many a naughty thing in ponies' dreams. Sometimes I even join in. But it’s not one of those I’m calling in tonight to share, but rather an actual physical encounter thine princess had many moons ago. Maybe I'll call in again sometime soon. It's not as if I have a shortage of stories to tell. I even look forward to making some new ones tonight." She clopped her hooves together. "It shalt be much fun, Miss Minty Sundae! But the best sex thy princess hast had to date? For that we need to go back to a different time. A time when being princess meant having a harem of studs, and even a few sexy mares. While it's been a very long time, the memories are still as fresh in my mind now as they were a thousand years ago. And since all the ponies involved have long since passed on, I see no need to disguise their names. I darest say my sister and I shalt be talking with Miss Far Fetcher."

"Busted Star Catcher."

"Quite."

“You wanted to share a story?”

“Indeed, Minty Sundae, a tale of passion from more than a thousand years ago. Equestria was a very different place back then. Discord’s reign was over, but not entirely forgotten. There was some lingering mistrust between the various tribes. And certain traditions had yet to be completely eradicated by my sister. The most popular of which was the Arena.”

Throngs of ponies made their way into the Everfree Coliseum to take their seats. Princess Luna sat atop a pile of luxurious pillows in the royal skybox, surrounded by sexy stallions tending to her every need. Soon the gladiators would take to the arena, risking their very lives to entertain their fellow ponies, and especially their princess. She opened her mouth and one of her servants tossed a grape in. Life was good.

The gladiators themselves were a ragtag bunch of stallions and mares. Some were athletes at the top of their game, here to compete in the ultimate of sports. Others were criminals, offered a chance to earn their freedom with a satisfying performance. Some were ponies from the bottom rung of society just trying to make a living and escape the slums her dear sister was trying so hard to clean up and bring a better standard of living to. No matter the reason, these ponies were here to fight for her amusement. She could reward them with prize money. She could award freedom. She could even offer herself to the victor if she so desired. The wetness in her crotch was enough to let her know that tonight that was a desire that needed to be fulfilled.

The first competitor of the night was pushed into the arena. A ragged, yet strangely pretty yellow pegasus. A trio of balloons decorated her flank, but her ribs were cleary visible beneath her coat. It was quite apparent she wasn’t eating well. The town crier announced her as Floater, a young mother from the southern part of Everfree. Ah, the slums. That made sense. She was to fight a cockatrice. The easiest of the beasts to fight, somepony was obviously taking pity on this mare. She picked up a sword and shield in the center of the arena, then turned to face the audience. There was mild cheering as she bowed to the Princess of the Night.

Luna nodded in acknowledgement and motioned for the cockatrice to be released. Minutes later the battle was over. Luna chuckled. The mare had swung her sword around wildly, while keeping her eyes firmly shut. She boxed herself into a corner, and when she opened her eyes to find her way out, the cockatrice had been waiting. The beast was returned to its pen, and the stadium’s grounds crew removed the new pegasus statue from the field. She’d be fine – the best mages in the city were at her command, after all. They’d have her back to normal within the hour. Luna made a note to make sure she was compensated with a good meal, with plenty to take home as leftovers. She would not, however, be taking home any share of the winner’s purse.

Pretty as the mare was, tonight Luna was in the mood for a stallion. The next combatant certainly didn’t disappoint. He was muscular, and black as midnight. Lumps of coal as a cutie mark identified him as a miner. Announced as Rock Strata, swinging a pickaxe day in and day out had certainly done wonders for his physique. And his tunic couldn’t quite hide a conspicuous bulge. Yes, Luna was quite pleased with this specimen of the earth pony tribe. He’d still need prove himself worthy of sharing her royal bedsheets, and would likely need a good bath first as well. Her royal bedsheets were quite expensive, and her sister had a fit every time she needed to replace them.

But in order to prove his worthiness, he’d have to win against a chimera. Part saber tooth tiger, part goat, and part snake, it was all deadly with its fire breath, sharp fangs, and pointy horns. He’d be lucky to survive. He trotted to the center of the arena, proudly, bowing to her. He then picked up the shield and sword from where Floater had dropped them as she was turned to stone and faced the audience with a cocky grin. Luna signaled the beast keepers to release the chimera and they did so. With three heads it was nearly impossible to sneak up on the beast. The best warriors would do their best to take out each of the heads in turn.

With a vicious battle cry, Rock Strata attacked the snake’s head that served as the chimera’s tail. Sword grasped firmly in his teeth, he snapped his neck back and forth rapidly, decapitating the snake in one easy motion. The crowd roared in approval, and Luna felt the seat beneath her grow damp.

The chimera roared in pain and the goat head butted the stallion. His tunic snagged on the goat’s horns and Luna was disappointed to see the mighty stallion was in fact a gelding. She immediately lost interest in his struggles with the remaining two heads, and was only brought back to reality when the cheering of the crowd indicated he had finally dispatched the beast once and for all. Not without taking some damage of his own, she noted. He had a gaping wound across his right flank from the tiger’s teeth. He would be compensated for his victory. Luna nodded to him, then summoned the royal treasurer, who produced a golden chalice, and filled it with golden bits. The gelding bowed to the princess and took his spoils with him as he left the arena.

Luna sighed. Thus far tonight’s undercards had been underwhelming. Perhaps the main event could produce a stallion capable of satisfying her libido. A truly massive stallion shoved his way into the center of the arena. “Finally.” He grinned and started blowing kisses to the audience. Spying Luna, he wiggled his eyebrows and made a rude motion with his tongue. Well, under normal circumstances it would have been rude, but in this case that was exactly what the Princess of the Night most wanted right now.

There were gasps at the vulgar display, but Luna raised her forelegs to quiet the crowd. “You’ve just made a promise, stallion. And I’m going to hold you to it. That is, if you prove yourself worthy.” Luna considered her options – they had many captured beasts, but this irksome orange stallion, handsome as he was, had disrespected her. It wouldn’t do to give him anything but the biggest and most troublesome of all the beasts at her disposal. She grinned. “Unleash the ursa!”

The crowd gasped, but the stallion yawned. “That the best you can do, princess?”

The cryer quickly announced, “Hard Cider versus an ursa minor.” Then he bolted for safety as the gate rose and the cosmic bear stomped onto the field. The orange stallion waved his sword and shield and the bear turned his sights on him. And scarfed him down in one bite.

The crowd fell silent but for the crying of a few mares in the audience. As the beastkeepers rushed to contain the ursa, it hacked up a wad of blood and spit it into the arena. It bellowed in agony and crashed to the ground, dead. Hard Cider cut his way out of the bear’s throat and raised his sword in triumph. An unorthodox victory, but a victory nonetheless.

Luna unfurled her wings and flew down to the arena’s floor. “A valiant job. Now there’s the matter of your compensation.”

“Gold will suffice, princess.”

“Oh no, not for such a mighty stallion as you.” She brushed a hoof against his chest. “I seem to recall not more than five minutes ago you seemed quite interested in licking things. Perhaps this?” She lifted her tail, exposing herself to Hard Cider, not to mention a good chunk of the audience.

“You did that in front of the entire stadium?”

“You sound just like my sister. Inappropriate. Scandalous. Indecent. You’re doing it on TV right now. I fail to see the difference.”

“This is late night programming on a premium channel. Nopony under eighteen should be watching this. What did you do about the fillies and colts?”

“My dear Minty Sundae, this was a gladiatorial battle. Blood and death was a given, and sex was certainly never discouraged. Nopony would be so foolish as to bring foals to such an event. No one under the age of seven was ever admitted to these contests.”

“Seven?”

“Seven. But yes, we did it in front of the whole crowd. I wanted the entire audience to see that brash pretender put up or shut up.”

“So did he put up or shut up?”

Luna giggled. “Both. It was quite hard for him to talk while using his tongue to pleasure me repeatedly.”

Luna lowered her forelegs to the ground, fully presenting herself to the contest’s victor. There was no going back for Hard Cider. Luna had made a decision, and there’d be no prize money for him today. He hesitantly leaned closer to the princess’ crotch. She was exceedingly wet. It gave him some confidence to know that his fight with the ursa had turned her on that much. He started lapping at the fluids as they dripped from the mare’s vagina.

“I thought a stallion such as yourself would be good at this.” Luna sighed. “All show and no go.”

The audience laughed and Hard Cider blushed. He shoved his tongue deeper into Luna’s pussy. Deeper and deeper he probed until he heard the princess moan in pleasure. Once he found the sweet spot he doubled down his efforts. He slid his tongue around her clitoris repeatedly. Clockwise. Counterclockwise. She squirted. Hard. His face was utterly drenched with Luna’s fluids. Not that that mattered all that much considering his earlier bath in ursa saliva.

“Didst thy princess ask you to stop?”

Hard Cider wiped his face with his fetlock and shoved his face back into her crotch. She orgasmed again. Then a third time and a fourth time. After the sixth, he finally pulled his face from the mare’s nether region. Slowly, deliberately, he mounted her as the audience cheered him on. Luna raised no objections as the stallion’s cock penetrated her. Most of her lovers tended to take things slowly, gently easing inside her. Their respect for their princess outweighing the urge to rut her silly. Not so with Hard Cider. He jammed his dick inside her without regard for any pain it might cause her. Though truly she was so wet it wasn’t a concern. Her horn glowed as she manifested a magical diaphragm inside herself. This stallion was common rabble, it wouldn’t be proper of her to bear his foal, accident or not.

Luna moaned in pleasure and the stallion started swatting her hindquarters. Hearing no objections from the princess he started smacking her buttocks with his hooves. It was obvious this ruffian liked it rough. That was okay, so did Luna. Most stallions didn’t have what it took to please her, so she often picked lovers among the scoundrels and criminals to fill her needs. And Hard Cider was certainly filling her needs, as he filled her vagina with his rock hard penis. All ponies had their own peculiar traits during sex, and Cider’s was pulling all the way out and jamming himself back in just as quickly. Unorthodox, but not unheard of. He just had to be very careful not to miss her pussy when thrusting. Then he spat in her asshole.

“The last stallion to ‘accidentally’ try entering my posterior was hanged for treason.”

“All right, so no anal.”

“Not with you. You’re arrogant and I grow weary of you. This ends now.” She rammed her hindquarters into his crotch, knocking him on his back. She sat on his cock, slowly easing herself onto it. “It’s my turn to be in control.”

Luna started riding him, slamming her crotch down upon his as violently as she could. The crowd cheered in delight the rougher she got. Luna could go all night. Hard Cider could not. Within mere minutes of Luna taking charge, he came hard, spurting stream after stream of cum into the princess’ waiting cunt.

Luna stood up, the stallion’s jizz dripping from her pussy. “I’ve had better.”

The crowd roared with laughter.

“So can I pencil you in for next week, princess?”

Luna laughed. “If thou wishes to tap this again, thou hast better slay an ursa major first.”

“Did he?”

Luna sighed. “No. I sometimes regret that decision. He was one of the better lovers I had back in the day, and I squandered the opportunity to make it more than one and done. But he was so disrespectful towards authority in general, and me in particular, that I feared rewarding him would merely make it worse.”

“Whatever happened to him?”

“He tried that same trick on an ursa major. It didn’t work…”

“Sounds like you made quite the impression on him too if he went to those lengths to get a second go around. Well, I think that about wraps things up for tonight.”

“See you in your dreams, Miss Sundae. I look forward to it.”

“I’m Minty Sundae, and that about does it for Trotline. Probably permanently. Anypony got an ursa major I can go feed myself to?”