“I love you”
Words that were prominent time and time again. In constant use to display through words how much one being cared for another whether it’d be towards a significant other, a friend, or relative. One of the simplest yet most poignant ways to show the depth of bonds you share with those around you. On some days, these words would fire off in constant rhythm throughout its hours. Today would be one of those days.
It’s Dams day
The afternoon sky coated the land in an heavenly orange hue as every Pony in PonyVille made their way through town to spend time with the one’s who’ve brought them into the world that they’ve come to love. To show them how much they mean to them, reminisce on their memories of past days that one may have forgotten about and catch up on the new experiences one may have yet to hear with one another. Days of love that showed up time and time again that encourage every pony to grow closer to one another. Yet for one of Pony Ville’s inhabitants, days like these only brought back to surface the pain of being the only of his kind there. A sugar-coated bullet to remind him that he had nobody to share mutual childhood memories with. Carving into his mind the fact that he was the outsider in a world that was foreign to him.
On the outskirts of town, He sits somber in an oak wood chair near his home as the shadow of his condo casted by the sun dances alone along the crowds of grass that is his yard. He looks into the town, watching various families walk and chatter amongst themselves. A wholesome view leaving him with a taste of tragedy, renewing aged memories that he forgotten in his mind. A fading memory of earlier years where he and his family would sit at the dinner table, enjoying a collaborative meal in each other’s company. He remembered his father always singing this one song while cooking that he couldn’t forget even if he tried. Reflexively, he parts his lips and his soothing deep voice caressed the air as sings the recollected lyrics from memory.
(https://youtu.be/CwsiuzZrmqA?t=124)
“I was born by the river in a little tent
Oh and just like the river I've been running ever since
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come
Oh, yes it will
It's been too hard living, but I'm afraid to die
Cause I don't know what's up there beyond the sky”
“Wow”
His musical trance is broken by the unexpected words of a mare that stood behind him, causing him to quickly turn his head in surprise towards the origin of the voice.
“W-what the?!”
“Oh geez! I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you Anon.” She says apologetically. “I-its just… I’m just… wow. I had no idea you could sing, a-and that well at that. Your voice has such.. passion and experience behind it! ” She says in amazement
“Twilight!? Damn it girl, don’t sneak up on me like that.”
Anon sits up in his chair trying to hide his fluster as he recognizes who it was that got the drop on him
“I don’t sing often. I tend to just… sing to myself.”
“It’s been years and yet I still learn new things about you every day it seems,” said Twilight in astonishment. “I definitely didn’t think someone like you would harbor such a talent considering how you carry yourself in such a serious manner.” -Twilight moves closer to Anon’s side- “You shouldn’t be ashamed of such a wonderful voice!”
“Yeah, well… “ Anon says with dissent. “As you already know, I like to keep to myself. So there’s no reason for me openly showcase anything to anyone.”
“I guess that’s a fair point.“ said Twilight.
“Speaking of points,” Anon said curiously “Why you here shawty? Shouldn’t you be out there hanging around your family and friends?”
Twilights eyes shift noticeably, responding with a voice tinted with sadness. Something Anon quietly noticed.
“Yeah, that is something I would usually be doing right now…” said Twilight. “But something equally as important has come to my attention. Every pony has noticed that on social days like these, you’re not around as often as you usually are.”
“So?” Responds Anon.
“So, since it’s a repeatedly growing behavior, I thought maybe.. I should come and keep- “
“There’s no need.” Said Anon, rejecting her offer.
Twilight verbally stumbles a bit as Anon cuts through her words.
“Wh-what?”
“I said there’s no need for that. You can save your pity for another being who needs it.” Said Anon again.
“Wh- it’s not pity. I’m just concerned that-“
“That what?” Said Anon, cutting off Twilight yet again. “Your little scientific discovery is showing some unfavorable patterns?”
Twilight’s expression shifts in shock as his words crackle with distance and coldness in them.
“Anon, what in the name of Celestia are you talking about?” Twilight retorts
Anon leans back in his chair as his gaze roams back to the town in the distance and begins his response with a little hesitance.
“Why are you acting as if that isn’t what our relationship is? What, you think I’m blind or some shit? Not to be rude, but I know you enough at this point Twilight. My existence ain’t nothing more than a social experiment to you and the rest of this world.” -He exhales- “ I’m the guinea pig, and you are the scientist. At this point there isn’t anything left for me to do except die and hit front page.”
How long has he had these thoughts? Sure he’d have some sort of gripe with his predicament but Twilight never thought it’d be this deep of a feeling.
“Surely you don’t… You don’t think that you aren’t as valued as every pony else here right?” said Twilight
“ I’m clearly valued more as a test subject, rather than as a native resident.” Anon responds
“Which y’know, I can’t blame you nor anyone else for. Naturally curiosity would be peaked when an alien creature pops up randomly in a world that has never heard of said creature before. But It’s been… a growing feeling. I try not to speak on it because I hate feeling like I’m bitching about something. It just seems like I’m being ungrateful and I’d be slapping everyon- er, every PONY, in the face that helped me try and get accustomed to living here. So i… kept these feelings to myself.”
Letting off some of the pent up steam, other internal emotions start bubbling to the surface, causing Anon to grow colder with his words.
“ I’d rather just forget about it, but it’s hard to do that when you look around, see no one like you and be tagged as the “Talking Ape.” I’d rather just be by myself if I’m being real.”
Twilight stands there in bewilderment but.. Under his words were hiding familiar tones that she herself can perceive , a feeling that she held issue with before and another that she still can’t stand firmly against.
“So I’ll say it again for you, there is no need for you to be here. Go be out there with your loved ones and-”
“I understand.” Twilight responds with sincerity
In shock by the reply, Anon sits back up and turns his head towards Twilights direction.
“You… understand?”
“I do. Not completely, but I understand the pain you feel.” Said Twilight as she softly sat down next to him
“Don’t give me that shit.”
“I’m serious,” Twilight said. attempting to display her sincerity. “I don’t know what it’s like to be taken from a world of familiarity. To be placed into one that has no correlation with your being at all and then being forced to adapt to said world. To be the only one of your kind in existence. I don’t know what that particular pain is like.”
“So then why are you saying you understand? You just admitted to me that you can’t relate to what I’m going through.“ Anon says tiredly.
“What I understand is the feeling of being an oddity,” said Twilight
“Look, I get it, “ said Anon with irritation starting to swell In his voice. “You want to seem like you give a fuck, but you aren’t doing yourself any favo-“
“When I first came to Pony Ville,” said Twilight, cutting off Anon again.
“it was… an incredulous challenge to become social and actually make friends. It felt like I wouldn’t be able to resonate with any pony here, that I’d be doomed to loneliness, and for a time I was actually okay with that possible outcome. I truly didn’t mind being the loner, so long as I had my books to keep me company. Naturally, as time continued, I’d have run in’s with other ponies and through those encounters, it showed me that actually having some pony other than a book to speak with was something I so dearly needed. Now that I have these bonds, I’ve realize how important they are to who I am as a pony and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.”
Twilight turns her head towards Anon “I also know what it’s like to have bonds forcibly taken from you by forces you cannot control.”
The words strike Anon, causing him to turn his full focus to Twilight, who has a familiar expression upon her face. An expression softly tattered with pain and sadness.
“Earlier you said to me that I should be spending time with my loved ones… Today’s schedule would usually be occupied by the visitation of my parents along with Shining Armor and Cadence….but…”
tears slowly well up in Twilights eyes. Anon silently watches her as she chokes back her tears. She turns her head away from Anon and closes her eyes.
“My mother and father… they’ve been gone for some time now…”
She opens her eyes again and looks onto the town.
“On these days, since every pony else is usually with their own families, I tend to stay in my library to occupy my mind as the time passes… So that I can escape the reality that they aren’t here with me anymore, If only for a bit… But I can never seem to keep myself from constantly thinking about it.”
A light breeze starts to pick up in the air
“I look at you, and recognize your mask. A face that tends to show up more frequently on days like these, the mask you wear to hide all the emotions you feel.. It’s a mask that I used to find myself wearing as well. I understand how painful it is to lose something you hold dear. Not on the scale that you have, but I know that it’s a hard hurdle to get over… I’m still having trouble myself dealing with it.” Said Twilight
Anon sat there, surprised at this new information he had no idea happened. His gaze unflinching, the mood in his eyes lost all remnants of hostility and was instead replaced with creeping sympathy.
“But the difference between me and you,” Twilight spoke again. “Is that I have others around me that can help me when I start to fall… I know it’s hard for you to feel comfortable being around other ponies or even me for that matter... but I want you to try to at least let some pony in. Isolating yourself won’t help you feel any better about your situation... I came here today because I… had a hunch you probably felt the same way I do when these times come around. I wanted to let you know that…. You don’t need to be alone. That you aren’t alone in the way you feel. I want to help you Anon. I know you have this… this belief that I think of you only as an experiment, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I value you much more than that. We don’t talk much outside of the occasional check ups and surveys and that’s certainly not from lack of trying… But from the interactions we’ve had, I can tell that you have a kind beautiful soul. You constantly guard yourself in fear of being hurt again. Eventually there’s going to come a time where you’ll be too tired to hold your guard. ”
Anon and Twilight have not shared many moments with each other, yet she was able to identify one of his deepest pains without him talking about it to her prior if what she said was true. Past moments that seemed insignificant now resurfaced in his mind. She always made attempts to make him feel welcomed. To try and make him feel as if he had someone to turn to whenever he needed some comfort. Realizing this, he felt like a complete hypocrite. He wanted to have someone to understand him, yet he kept creating distance between those who wanted to give him the comfortability that he sought after.
“I just want you to understand that.. at least with me, you don’t have to be so defensive-“
“How…” speaks Anon
Twilight stops her sentence and looks at Anon, puzzled.
“H-how?”
“How could I have…. Gotten so ignorant.” Anon slouches back, his head being cradled by his chair as he stares with tinges of gloom at the sun settled sky that now mixes with purple as night slowly creeps in
“Ignorant?” Says Twilight
“I’ve sat here… wallowing in my own thoughts and sadness so much that… it’s made me blind to what was happening around me. I’ve forgotten a lesson that I’d use to pride myself on keeping in memory.”
He looks onto Twilight, his gaze layered with sorrow and some regret
“Twilight I’m.. Sorry for what I said. I uh… I let my mentality get the better of me.”
“There’s no need for you to be sorry Anon.” She responds with a soft smile
“But there is. I had a view about you that your actions didn’t match. Instead of being observant, I became insensitive… Ain’t that a bitch.. The one of the things I hated the most, I let myself slip into without so much as a second thought about it.” Anon says regrettably
“That’s natural Anon.” Twilight warmly said.
“We all lose our way sometimes, Celestia knows how many times I’ve lost mine. Life can change us through many different scenarios, this I’m sure you already knew. It’s why having somepony around you is so important. So that you can catch each other when those inevitable falls come, and set each other back on track. We can’t do it on our own, even though we try our hardest to. ”
“Ain’t that the truth.” Anon chuckles a bit quietly, realizing the subtle tones of Twilights voice. She spoke with experience proudly prominent in her voice, that was refined after years of mis steps and ache. Through her distresses, she was able to use them as a lesson, a lesson that she retaught to him. A lesson that he unwillingly let slip from his mind. It’s funny how life works. He yearned for someone he could recollect with and here she was, doing that exact thing.
“Hey Twilight.”
Her ears perk up as her eyes shift towards Anons direction.
“Thank you for coming out here today.” Anon says with a smile
“Of course, anything for a friend.” She replies smiling back warmly.
Anon shifts, wanting to say something about the remark she made, but after being the only one set aside her time just to check up on him today, the title of “Friends” would be alright with him. The two sit in silence for a bit as they both turn their eyes towards the fresh night sky. The last rays of the sun taking their leave, as the Moons glow waltz into view.
“Hey Anon... Can I ask something of you?” Twilight breaks the silence
“Sure, go ahead and shoot.” He says softly
“That song you were singing earlier.. Is it from a specific time in your life?” Twilight asks
He takes a moment, a bit hesitant to face those memories again, but faces them regardless.
“Yeah… My father before he passed, would often sing it throughout his days. A song of enduring unwaning hardships... Something that seemed to fit him perfectly.” Anon says with a reminiscent tone.
“I see... It’s such a gorgeous song.” She adds
“That it is.”
Silence takes over again for a bit
“Do you… think you could sing that song again please? I would like to learn it.. if that’s okay with you.” Twilight asks
He smiles warmly
“Sure thing shawty. I don’t mind at all.”
He clears his throat and parts his lips, letting his voice ring through the air once again.
“I was born by the river in a little tent
Oh and just like the river I've been running ever since
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come
Oh, yes it will
It's been too hard living, but I'm afraid to die
Cause I don't know what's up there beyond the sky”
As Anon begins the second chorus, Twilight catches the tune and they both sing in harmony.
“It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come
Oh, yes it will”
////
“I love you”
Words that were prominent time and time again, in constant use to display through words how much one being cared for another whether it’d be towards a significant other, a friend, or a relative. One of the simplest yet most poignant ways to show the depth of bonds you share with those around you. But you didn’t always need to say these words to show another that you had love for them. It can be as simple as just being there for them in the times they didn’t even think they needed anyone. To be there and bare pain together and learn together. Anon was the only human in Equestria, But, today for the first time in a long time, he felt comfortable. That he had another he could share his pain with. That he felt love in some type of way.
Author's Note
Just a little note, its my first time writing... well ANYTHING like this, so i hope you were able to get some enjoyment out of it. If you have any pointers and tips i'd love to see them.
