Author's Note
Do note that this story is written as something Cadance herself wrote in her diary, and the use of capitalisation is there to reflect her own tendencies and fantasy. Practices such as a sub using 'i' instead of 'I' are not unheard of in the BDSM community (nor on this site itself), so keep that in mind.
Dear Diary
Dear Diary.
I'm sure you know about my husband, Shining Armor. I talk about him with you a lot. He's a wonderful stallion, a great father and husband, and I couldn't wish for a better pony in my life. I love him, deeply, from the bottom of my heart. And I want him to fuck me. Hard.
Not just regular fucking. Not just vanilla lovely-dovely-cuddly bullshit. I want Him to get rough with me. I want Him to spank me while He fucks me. I want Him to pinch my nipples and yank my mane. I want Him to take that big, fat, massive cock of His and ram into every hole I have and fucking ruin me. I want Him to spread my cunt open and split it in two. I want my thighs to turn red and bruised as He fucks my ass. I want Him to shove His cock down my throat and make me choke on it until I pass out.
i want Him to hurt me. i want Him to spank me, slap me, make me scream! i want Him to treat me like a toy to jerk Himself off, i want Him to use me with no fucking regards for what i'm feeling. i want Him to wrap His hands around my neck and choke me and make me pass out while He fucks me, and then i want Him to wake me up by slapping my face and tits, and then do it all again.
i want Him to punch me. i want my eyes black after He hit me in the face. i want to feel the air go out of my lungs as He slams a fist into my stomach with the full force of His huge fucking muscles. i want Him to pull on my mane and tail so hard that hairs start to come off, then keep pulling harder. i want Him to grab my horn and force me to bend back until i start crying in pain. i want Him ripping feathers out of my wings as He beats me in the back.
i want Him to insult me. Tell me i'm worthless, useless, tell me i'm a pile of filthy trash who deserves absolutely nothing in life. i want Him to remind me of how infinitely lucky i am that He decides to waste His time with a worthless pony like me when He could be doing so many other things. i want Him to insult everything i've ever done, spit venom over every single accomplishment i ever called mine, make me feel like i was always a nuisance and never of any help.
i want Him to make me bleed. i want blood coming from my lips after He punched me in the face so hard it knocked me out. i want Him to hit me and spank me and flog me and paddle me until my ass and thighs are back are dripping red. i want Him to bite down around my nipple and on my neck and everywhere over me hard enough to pierce my skin and i want Him to taste my blood as he bites down and know that i love Him and adore Him and worship Him above all else.
i want Him to scar me. i want Him to mark me as His, His property, His toy, His possession. i want Him to leave wounds on my body, because i'm His and He can do what He wants with me and i want to suffer and scream and bleed. i want Him to cut me with a knife, stab me, pluck feathers from my wings, rip my mane out, leave me bleeding on the ground. i want Him to brand me like cattle, see Him hold the white-hot metal against my skin as it burns and hear Him cackle as i suffer.
i want Him to disfigure me. Ruin me. Turn me into a horrifying freak. i want Him to pour acid down my face and feel it melt away my flesh and skin. i want Him to break my spine so i can't walk anymore, and then i want Him to throw me off my wheelchair and kick me around on the floor. i want Him to leave the wounds in my arms untreated until it's too late, and they have to be cut off. i want Him to break my wings, and rip them out, so i can never fly again.
i need to be dependent on Him. i need Him to turn me into the useless creature i deserve to be, and make it impossible for me to live by myself. And then i want Him to remind me, every day, of how pitiful i am, of how i can only exist because He is still taking care of me, and i want Him to mock me. i want Him to break my horn. i want Him to saw it off at the base. No, i want Him to rip it out, past the base, rip out everything that lets me use magic. i don't care if my brain gets hurt in the process. i would if it did. i would love to be a brain-dead sack of meat for Him.
i want Him to hurt me more. i want Him to grab His sword and hit me with it. Cut off my limbs, pass my torso from side to side, crush my bones and sever my tendons, let my guts spill on the floor as i bleed to death, i want that so much. i want Him to throw me on the ground and kick me and step on me with His hooves until He crushes me, until my skull cracks in half and my spine shatters, i want him to beat me into a bloody puddle of mushy flesh and splintered bones.
i want Him to hang me, but not properly. i want my neck not to break, so i'm left hanging, slowly suffocating, thrashing around in vain as i die. i want Him to finish me off while i'm there. Throw rocks at me, shoot arrows at me. i want Him to set my body on fire and feel it burn, i want Him to cut off my tongue to silence my screams and let me drown in my own blood. i want Him to gouge my eyes out and force me to eat them. i want Him to pull my intestines out and strangle me with them.
i want Him to drug me and rape me. Force me to drink until i go into a coma and then fuck my dying body. i want Him to steal every drug He can find in the infirmaries and inject everything He can into my veins, and shove everything else into my mouth or up my ass. i want Him to slip drugs in my food and then take advantage of my body as i fall asleep. i want Him to poison me and watch me writhe in agony before Him.
i want Him to come home one night, say nothing, and start beating me and fucking me like i was just a piece of meat. i want Him to come home with another mare, and fuck her in the room beside ours, and i want to hear Him scream how he loves her and i want her screaming in pleasure, and then i want Him to come back to our bed and beat me and punch me and tell me all about how i am a piece of shit mare who can't give Him any happiness and how i ruin everything i touch.
i want Him to curse me. Turn me to crystal or stone and shatter my body. Make me suffer pain unending, chained to dark magic as my body burns in black flames. i want Him to take away everything from me. Lock me in a basement where i can never see the light, never feed me, only come down to torture me or rape me. i want Him to shove His horn up my cunt and unleash the strongest magic blast he can and blow up my womb, and then leave me crying on the ground.
i want Him to take Grogar's bell and use it to steal my powers, and then give those powers to Himself. Drain me of every last shred of energy or magic. i want Him to become a God, and make me a worthless hunk of meat with nothing left, an empty husk that's barely alive. And then i want Him to destroy me completely. i want His fingers digging into my flesh, through my chest, to grab hold of my ribs and pull them out by force.
i want Him to set my bones on fire while inside my body. i want Him to rip out my entire nervous system bit by bit with His magic. i want Him to grab my heart through a hole in my chest, rip it out, and then crush it before my eyes. i want Him to shatter every inch of my spine. i want Him to tear my jaw out and use it to beat my face into a bloody pulp. i want Him to shatter every bone in my body, and wound every organ, and burn what is left of me.
i want Him to carve a hole in the top of my mouth, and then stab white hot metal rods up in the hole and through my brain. And then i want Him to run electricity through them, and shoot magic from them, and make them thrash around, and coat them in poison. i want Him to cut my skull open in half and take out the rests of my brain, and throw them to a wall, and then step with his hooves on them until there's nothing left.
Dear Diary, i love my Shining Armor so very much.
