The Good, The Bad, and The Shy

by TheLegendaryBillCipher

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Drama, Original Character, Fluttershy, Adventure, Flim and Flam, Pinkie Pie
Length: 2447

Summoned to a western town, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy face a duel at high noon.

When the Friendship Map summons Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy to the dusty town of Paxton Junction, it'll take some encouragement and luck for an unlikely hero to win the day.

First place in the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Koren Kontest 6, which was western-themed.

Cover inspired by a poster for The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

A thank you to KorenCZ11 and Lofty Withers for proofreading before publishing.

Published 2020-06-10 22:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-06-10 22:00:01 UTC

Ecstasy of Cake

Pinkie bounced in her seat to the rhythm of the train as she looked out the window, grinning eagerly at the passing desert landscape. Fluttershy watched her for a minute with a soft smile before returning to her travel brochure.

“Can you believe it, Fluttershy? Can you? Can you? Can you?” the Earth pony squealed, shaking her friend. “We’re going to Paxton Junction!”

“Um, if I may ask: what’s so special about Paxton Junction?” Fluttershy asked softly, reaching down and picking up her dropped brochure.

“Well, we never really got to spend a lot of time at Appleloosa when we were there, so this is my first real chance at the wild, wild west!” Pinkie broke out into a huge grin. “Paxton Junction is just like Appleloosa… except less Apples, I guess.”

“I see. I guess that’s why you’re wearing that hat then.” Fluttershy looked up at the white ten gallon hat atop Pinkie’s head, which actually looked large to hold ten gallons. It fell over Pinkie’s eyes, as if it had been waiting for the right moment. “Now remember Pinkie: we’re here on a friendship mission. We can’t get distracted.”

“Of course!” Pinkie lifted up the hat. “But, I’m talking about after. Just think, FluttershyL the saloon, the slingshot duels, riding off into the sunset, all that neat stuff.” She hooked the Pegasus close in one foreleg and gestured with the other hoof, as if picturing it. Fluttershy, however, could not.

She smiled politely at Pinkie as she daydreamed about whatever she meant by the wild, wild west, before returning to her brochure. All things considered, she wasn’t sure why Applejack or Rainbow Dash hadn’t been summoned by the map to accompany Pinkie – while the wild, wild west had it’s cute critters, it was also a dusty, rough-and-tumble place.

It wasn’t exactly Fluttershy’s cup of tea.

Pinkie Pie strutted out, the spurs strapped to her back legs jingle as she marched. Somehow, without Fluttershy noticing, she had changed into a vest and a curly mustache that she had seen Spike wear once.

“My,” Fluttershy remarked as she followed Pinkie out of the station and surveyed the town. “Paxton Junction sure has a lot of ponies. Where do you think the friendship problem is?”

She let out a startled “Eep!” as Pinkie dragged her to the ground. A foreign object whizzed over their heads and splattered on the ground nearby – a tomato.

“Offhoof, I’d say over there,” Pinkie said, pointing to a hoof at a crowd gathered by the sheriff’s office. Similar fruits and vegetables were being chucked in its general direction.

As they approached the crowd, they were jeering and booing at an older Earth pony mare wearing a vest and sheriff’s star. She picked up her hat, splattered with various fruit juices before it was knocked off again.

“Alright, that’s enough, y’all,” she barked. She pulled a slingshot from a holster around her barrel and fired it at the sheriff’s office sign. It made a loud bullet-like ricocheting sound, which quieted the crowd. “Now get, before I run y’all in for disturbin’ the peace.”

“They should be run out of town!” a Pegasus shouted from the back of the crowd.

“Yeah, before they run us out of business, Spurred Along!” an Earth pony added.

Spurred Along huffed. “Look Grape Vine, Iron Forge, I know y’all don’t like ‘em, but they’re decent folk,” she said, gesturing to two ponies behind her – a pair of unicorn twins, one unshaven and the other with a mustache.

As Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie wormed their way through the crowd, they gasped.

“Flim and Flam?” Pinkie exclaimed, pointing a hoof at them. The brothers seemed surprised, glancing between one another.

“Well, if it ain’t our old pal, Pinkle Pie,” Flim said joyously.

“A friend of our friend Applejack is a friend to us,” Flam agreed.

“It’s Pinkie Pie.” She leveled an accusing hoof between them, before slipping into a western accent. “And what are you varmints doin’ here?”

“Why we don’t know what you mean, Miss Pie,” Flim said smoothly.

The sheriff sighed. “As I was tellin’ these folks, they’re just traveling salesponies. They’re here to make a livin’ like the rest of us. And as far as I’ve seen it, these two haven’t broken any laws.”

“Um, with all due respect, ma’am,” Fluttershy said quietly, stepping forward. “Flim and Flam aren’t friends of Applejack, or anypony that I know of. Not to be mean, of course. They’ve done some shady things in the past.”

“That so?” Spurred Along glanced at the brothers, who sweated nervously.

“Clearly, sheriff, this pony is lying,” Flam accused, pointing at Fluttershy.

Pinkie gasped loudly. “Alright, mister! No one calls my friend a liar!” She marched right up, getting in the brother’s faces. “I don’t know what you two are up to now, but the only liars here are you two!”

“Oh?” Flim asked.

“Well, maybe we should make a little wager then,” Flam added. “A slingshot duel, us two versus you two. You win, we leave, but if we win, you leave.”

“Time and place, buddy,” Pinkie growled, narrowing her eyes.

“Main Street, high noon,” Spurred Along interjected. “Town law is that all duels are then and there.”

“See you there then,” Flim said.

“Buddy,” Flam added icily.

Before Pinkie’s Pinkie Sense could even kick in, Flim produced a slingshot in his magic and shot off Pinkie’s extra-large ten gallon hat. The crowd gasped as the unicorn twins left, chuckling all their way down the street.

“Um, what’s a slingshot duel?” Fluttershy asked Spurred Along as Pinkie wailed, bemoaning her hat as if it had been alive.

“Basically, you get some slingshots and some berries and shoot ‘em at one another. First to hit their target wins,” Spurred Along said. “You two might be in trouble though – I’ve been teaching those two how to slingshot, and they’re a might good at it.”

“Those two have been selling all kinds of tonics and potions, from drinks to horseshoe polish,” Grape Vine said, stepping forward. “They’re threatening to put us out of business.”

“Glad we have you two, though,” another townspony added.

Fluttershy gulped as Pinkie put her hat back on and remarked, “Welp, I guess we found the friendship problem.”

Spurred Along shook her head as Pinkie Pie’s shot went wide, missed the row of empty cans on the fence, and splattered against another cactus, which was starting to look like it had grown up with red polka dots. Pinkie, undeterred, readied another berry.

“Land sakes,” the sheriff remarked. “Have you even used a slingshot before?”

“Nope!” Pinkie replied cheerfully, firing off another missed shot. “I’m more of a party cannon pony. Could I use that?”

“Uh, it’s a slingshot duel.” Spurred Along looked at her with a raised eyebrow, before looking past her. “What about your friend over there?”

Pinkie looked. Fluttershy was leaning against the back of the saloon, looking at the ground with a more worried look than usual. “Fluttershy’s more of a… critter pony? She doesn’t do the whole slingshot thing either.”

Spurred Along sighed and walked over to the Pegasus, making her jump when she cleared her throat. “You wanna give it a shot?” the sheriff asked, offering Fluttershy her slingshot.

“Um, I suppose.” Fluttershy gulped softly and took the slingshot in her mouth. With trembling legs, she walked over next to Pinkie, who offered her ammunition.

Fluttershy took a shaky breath as she notched the berry and pulled back. She shut her eyes tightly as she let it fly. Seconds later, there was a “thunk” and the sound of clattering metal.

Pinkie cheered and Spurred Along gave a stunned “Well I’ll be.” Fluttershy sneaked a peek to find she had indeed hit her target, knocking one of the cans off the fence and sending it yards away.

“Ya did it, with your eyes closed yet,” Spurred Along remarked. She walked over and offered more ammunition to the Pegasus. “Think ya can hit another?”

Fluttershy took up another berry and fired it, and then another and another. Each shot blasted a can off the fence until it was clear. The Pegasus’s eyes were wide as Pinkie did a victory dance beside her.

“Oh we are so going to own Flim and Flam!” the pink pony cheered. “Go Fluttershy, go, go. Go Fluttershy, go, go.” She nudged the stunned Pegasus, shaking her back to reality.

“I, um… I really can’t,” Fluttershy said, dropping the slingshot. “Sure, I can hit cans, but… I don’t think I could just… shoot somepony like that.”

“Kid, you’re a natural,” Spurred Along said, patting her on the back. “It took those two unicorns a week to get that far. You sure you’ve never used a slingshot?”

Fluttershy shook her head, tears brimming in her eyes – her natural response to stress. She quickly bolted into the saloon, the door slamming shut behind her. Spurred Along and Pinkie Pie looked to one another.

“Listen, Fluttershy really isn’t the type of pony to do this sort of thing,” Pinkie said. “Maybe I can do this myself? I’m sure I can improve in half an hour.”

“Well, ain’t nothin’ in the rules about it, but you’re welcome to try,” Spurred Along said. She watched Pinkie bounce over to set up the cans again and huffed a sigh. “You can certainly try.”

Fluttershy sighed as she sat at the bar, only looking up when a glass of root beer was slid over to her. Grape Vine smiled at her from behind the bar.

“Here’s to you kicking those frauds out of town,” she said with a wink before heading into the back.

Fluttershy sighed again and shook her head. She hated to let her friend down, much less a whole town counting on her and Pinkie, but the thought of shooting somepony made her shudder. Even if it was Flim and Flam.

“Rough day, Butterflies?”

Fluttershy jumped as another pony joined her at the bar. She was a unicorn with a dark green coat and pine green mane, dressed in a dark Stetson and poncho. She glanced down at Fluttershy with her crimson eyes.

“Um, it’s Fluttershy, and… yes,” the Pegasus replied quietly, looking down at her drink.

“Heard you and the pink one were supposed to be dueling someponies here shortly,” the mare remarked, levitating a bottle of root beer across the bar along with a glass. “You don’t seem to be gettin’ ready.”

“I couldn’t do it.” Fluttershy rested both forelegs on the bar, and then her chin glumly. “I know everypony’s counting on me, but I just can’t. It’s just not me.”

“Well.” The mare poured herself a shot of root beer and knocked it back. “I’ve always heard it’s the deeds that make the mare. Doesn’t matter about you in the long run – it’s about them.” Another glance. “Sound like you?”

“Um… it does, but… I care for animals, I don’t shoot ponies with slingshots,” Fluttershy replied.

“If ya got a talent, ya use it. Yours is helping, then help.”

Fluttershy perked up when the town clock outside started to bong and turned around in her stool. She could see the townsponies starting to leave their shops to watch the duel. Her ears drooped.

Something clattered onto the bar next to her drink – the mare had levitated over a slingshot. “Now, ya goin’ to sit in here, or are you gonna help your friend?” the mare asked.

Fluttershy frowned, grabbed her drink from behind her, and swallowed it in one gulp and slammed the glass down. She wiped her muzzle, took the slingshot in her teeth, and hopped off the seat, marching towards the door. However, she paused and turned to the mare.

“Thank you, miss…”

“Don’t worry about me, Butterflies,” the mare replied. “I’m a mare with no name.”

Fluttershy stood there for a moment puzzled, before whirling around at the last clock chime. She raced out of the saloon. The mare chuckled into her second drink.

“No pony can walk out on their own story.”

In truth, Pinkie Pie had tried valiantly. She had loaded and fired a dozen shots at the two unicorns, but all had missed wildly. When she had fumbled for more ammunition, Flim and Flam had barraged her with berries.

The two brothers laughed as the Earth pony crashed to the ground dramatically, tongue lulling out for effect.

“Flutter… shy…” she croaked, reaching a foreleg back, before pretending to pass out.

“Now, where did that Pegasus go?” Flim asked as he and his brother looked about town.

A shadow flew over the sun, and somewhere an eagle squawked. Flim glanced up in time to get a berry right between the eyes. Flam raised his slingshot, grabbing his brother’s for good measure.

“Where are you?” he demanded.

He caught a glimpse of a shadow in his peripheral and fired both slingshots at it. They splattered against a barrel, with some of the townsponies shying away. Flam spun around, aiming this way and that.

Finally, he turned back down Main Street in time to see Fluttershy standing there, slingshot notched and ready, a determined glare in her stare. Before Flam could fire, he too received a berry right between the eyes.

The crowd cheered and rushed out to the street as Flim and Flam looked between each other in disbelief. Even Pinkie Pie hopped off the ground to lift Fluttershy in the air with victory. Spurred Along walked over to the group, nodding in approval.

Under the shadow of the saloon’s awning, the nameless mare watched and nodded herself with a smirk. “Ya did good, Butterflies,” she said to herself. “Ya did good.” She tipped her hat low and walked off, a ghost pepper sticking from the corner of her mouth like a cigar.

Author's Note

Date of Creation (D.o.C.): 4/19/20

I wasn't expecting to win another contest, but here we are. I was really inspired by this scene from Rango (spoilers for Rango, obviously) and the westerns my dad watches. It's the deeds that make the pony.

The mare with no name is actually one of my first original characters and starred in my very first speedwrite on the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Discord. It was legitimately terrible (I had only seen 3 episodes of Friendship is Magic at the time). She actually does have a name, if you pay close attention to her exit.

The song I listened to while writing this was "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" performed by the Danish National Symphony. Yeehaw.

-yours truly,
The Legendary Bill Cipher, Equestria Enthusiast