All's Fair in Love and War Games

by TheLegendaryBillCipher

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sweetie Belle, Romance, Comedy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie
Length: 1536

Pinkie Pie is determined to get Rarity to have some fun.

After seeing her marefriend spend hours at her sewing machine, Pinkie Pie is determined to go above and beyond the call of duty to ensure Rarity has fun.

Tied for second in the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting The Greatest Shipping Regrets #1/Cute Pony Tax Contest of which it was for the latter while incomplete, and finished at a later time.

Pinkieism's inspired by Silent Whisper's "The Time Killer."

A thank you to KrazyTheFox and _Moonshot for proofreading before publishing.

Published 2020-06-09 22:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-06-09 22:30:02 UTC

Ha, he said duty

To say Pinkie Pie was a serious pony wouldn’t sound right to most. Most took one look at the pink pony and brushed the notion away like clingy confetti – how could this party aficionado and lover of everything sugary ever be serious?

Those close to her, however, knew better: Pinkie Pie was serious about having fun. And none knew this more than her marefriend, Rarity. After all, with her own creative drive she was practically a kindred spirit in a different line of work.

So on one fateful afternoon, it wasn’t very surprising to find Pinkie slowly peeking over a box of fabric. She produced a pair of balloon binoculars and honed in on her target, bent over a sewing machine, as she had been for the past six hours.

Pinkie checked a watch on her foreleg – the Pinkie in the middle had both forelegs pointed at “fun time,” which, to be fair, was the only marking on the clock’s face. Pinkie looked back through her binoculars.

“You’re right, it is fun time,” she murmured, before ducking behind the box.

She emerged flat against the ground, ever so quietly slithering across the ground towards the unsuspecting dressmaker. It was a textbook maneuver: get in, pounce, and proceed to tickle until opponent was a giggling mess. Then Rarity would have to take a break.

Pinkie halted in her tracks, produced a yardstick from her mane and carefully lined it up between her on the floor and the stool Rarity was seated upon. Checking that the distance did in fact measure up to the “perfect pounce distance (PPD)” written on the yardstick, she slipped it back into her mane.

Ever so slowly, she lifted her flank off the ground, wiggling it ever so slightly. Her tail checked wind direction and gave a tails-up. With one mighty “sproing,” Pinkie leapt at Rarity, legs wide to grab hold.

She was promptly met by a large, levitating satin pillow that she ran face-first into, legs wiggling feebly just short of their target. Pinkie had to admit though – it was a shade of red that really complimented her mane.

“Not now, my darling,” Rarity said with just the right inflection to make Pinkie’s heart flutter like a Fluttershy butterfly. “I still have to get this one dress ready for tomorrow evening.”

And with that, Pinkie was floated across the room to the opposite wall, and dropped onto the satin pillow she had grabbed instead of her marefriend. Opening her mouth to protest, a cherry lollipop—of the flat, round variety—was popped into her mouth.

Rarity looked back at her with a victorious smirk before returning to her work. Her magic levitated several rolling racks of recently finished dresses to block off her corner of the room from Pinkie and the exit.

Pinkie Pie narrowed her eyes: cherry was always a very distracting flavor, not to mention there was a new line of defense.

“Well played, Rarity,” she thought, rubbing her chin.

Pinkie Pie was forced to call in her air force – namely three balloons. They weren’t a hot air balloon or her patented Pinkie’s Flying Machine, but under the conditions, they’d have to do.

Rarity, after all, had worked really hard on all those dresses. She couldn’t just go barging through them, and it was too risky to try the pounce maneuver again. She’d have to try an Aerial Pinkie Bombardment, or APB for short. In laypony’s terms, it meant floating over the target as quiet as a little cumulonimbus, releasing the strings holding her aloft, and proceed with the capture and tickling.

Once Pinkie was sure the balloons were properly inflated, Pinkie crouched down before bouncing once into the air. She tucked in her legs and span her tail. After a few tries, it hummed steadily as a propeller and she proceeded on course.

Pinkie made sure to suck in her gut as she went over the lines of dresses – she couldn’t afford one feather or flap out of place. After all, this was about making Rarity happy, and she certainly wouldn’t be happy redoing her hard work.

She pulled out her bomber scope and looked down on the target barely three feet below her. Then she jumped when her target turned and looked up to her, making direct eye contact.

“Pinkie, my darling,” Rarity purred. “Whatever are you doing up there?” She batted her eyelashes for good measure – enough for Pinkie’s heart to try to jackhammer its way out of her chest and for her propeller to straighten out, ceasing her propelling.

Why did Rarity have to be so dang ravishing? She was like that one strawberry on top of the cake was just so perfectly placed you didn’t want to disturb it. No, more like she was the cake, so perfectly sculpted and yet so tempting. What sweetness might it hold, what flavors? What—

Pinkie’s attention was drawn to the loud pop over her head and the slack in her lift. A handful of needles were floating just above her, and another popped her second balloon. Her eyes widened in realization.

“Diversionary tactics!” she gasped. She clung to her last balloon, somehow enough to keep her aloft. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Rarity gave a devilish grin and popped the balloon, but in such a way that it launched Pinkie around the room as it deflated. The unicorn had to hold in an unladylike snicker as she momentarily watched her flight.

Pinkie wound up back on the satin pillow, this time with a strawberry lollipop in her mouth. From behind her ironed curtain, the sound of Rarity’s sewing machine going back to work could be heard.

Pinkie harrumphed and crossed her forelegs. Now air was off the table, and strawberry was an even more distracting flavor than cherry! There had to be some way of getting to her.

Then a diabolical plan crossed her mind and with a snicker, she rubbed her hooves together.

“Hey sis, you done yet?” Sweetie Belle asked.

Rarity raised an eyebrow, half expecting it to be Pinkie trying yet again. She slid open the wall of dress racks to find it was indeed her little sister, with a strange object behind her.

“Yes, I’m afraid it’ll take me a little while longer. What in Equestria is that?” Rarity asked.

“Pinkie left it for you,” Sweetie said, gesturing to it. “I think it’s a piñata.”

Rarity walked over and observed it closely with her reading glasses. It was covered in pink and blue papier mache strips, and seemed to be the height of an adult pony. It had the most realistic blue eyes she’d ever seen, and a curly mane and tail that looked practically woven into the construction.

“My word, Pinkie left this?” Rarity blinked. “Do you mean to say she’s left?”

“Yep. She looked really disappointed too.” Sweetie Belle sighed.

Rarity covered her mouth with one hoof, looking down worriedly. “Oh my, I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. I hope she’s not too disappointed we couldn’t hang out.”

“Don’t worry, Rarity: I’m not anymore.”

Rarity’s gaze shot up to the now grinning piñata, just in time for it to pounce upon her and unleash a barrage of tickles to her barrel. Rarity tried to fend her off with magical tugs, but a clingy Pinkie clung worse than lint.

“Sweetie Belle!” she gasped amid giggles and cackles. “Y-You lied to me?”

Sweetie Belle shrugged. “I was bribed.” She popped a green apple lollipop in her mouth and trotted away, content.

Pinkie sat back a moment, giving Rarity time to catch her breath. As it turned out, she had a really sensitive barrel, especially prone to tickling. Even a little bit was almost too much for her. Almost.

“So, are you available now?” Pinkie asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Fine, f-fine,” Rarity gasped, looking at her with one eye and a smirk on her muzzle. “I suppose I can take a little break.”

“Yay!” Pinkie cheered, lifting Rarity up in a tight hug.

“It’s a good thing I love you, you know,” Rarity said, exasperated but still smiling.

“I love you too, otherwise I wouldn’t try so hard,” Pinkie replied, leaning up to kiss her muzzle. She was met with Rarity’s lips instead, making the victory all the sweeter.

Author's Note

Date of Creation (D.o.C.): 4/30/20

I actually didn't get the chance to finish this during the contest. I continued after it was over and concluded it in about 100 words or so. Hope this paid off the cute pony tax.

I feel like this is one of my better expressions of Pinkie Pie: she's serious, silly serious. She's willing to be over dramatic and creative when pursuing her goals. Unfortunately, she has to contend with an equally-creative Rarity. This is the first of two RariPie (Pinkity?) stories. The other was too short to publish, and was about fluff. Literally.

The song I listened to while writing this, unsurprisingly, was "Bounce Man Stage Theme" from Mega Man 11. I swear, with everything remotely Pinkie related I write, I always listen to this one particular song.

-yours truly,
The Legendary Bill Cipher, Equestria Enthusiast