Bob.

An hour later we are in a tent set up by the Blades. The Olkaran has woken up. She says her name is Pica. She is also incredibly skittish. She screams at the slightest noise, terrified out of her wits. Thankfully, some Magicians knew spells to calm her down but they don't last long. Myself, Celestia and Kolivan are all with her in the tent.

"Don't worry, you are completely-"

"Don't say it!" Pica yells. She seems to have an aversion to the word safe, we don't know why.

"You will not be harmed. We promise." Celestia says, getting a nod from us both in agreement. Pica's shivering settles slightly. Kolivan steps forward.

"Can you tell us why you are so far into outer space?" He asks, slowly and calmly.

"I-I-I-I-I don't know. I was ru… just, flying back… home when… my ship suddenly… crashed into a-a spacial distortion, c-c-catapulting me here. Where am I?" She explains, her voice halting oddly before her question. Kolivan narrows his eyes imperceptibly.

"You are outside of Galran space. A few lightyears away from outpost Omega Twenty four. On a planet called Mystacor." Kolivan explains. A breeze shifts the side of the tent, scaring Pica.
Yeesh. She's a bigger scaredy cat than a cricket. Why is she so afraid of everything?

Celestia takes the two of us to the tent flap.

"I think we should let her rest for some time. The journey here has obviously traumatized her." She says.

"She's lying. There's something she isn't telling us." Kolivan says, looking back at her.

~~I was suspicious but I wasn't exactly sure.~~

"The pauses in her description, the look in her eyes, the hesitancy. She's definitely keeping something from us." Kolivan says as Celestia rests her hand on my left shoulder.

"Could that not be her fear? She could simply be nervous."

~~It is possible but I agree with Kolivan. She's not saying something.~~ I say, looking to Celestia on my right.
Wait a minute, who's hand is thi-

"Well isn't that an interesting question?" The thing to my left says, its hand on my shoulder. We all move away from it as Pica screams in horror. Looking closer, I recognize the thing.

He is a green skinned alien with a pear shaped head and large part green part purple eyes, his pupils being the same green. He has orange points on top of his head and by his chin, the points on his head having small green and yellow saucers hovering over them.

There is also a yellow splotch in the middle of his face, between his eyes that connects to his mouth. He has four arms and is wearing a beige jacket with light brown pants and dark brown boots. He also is floating in midair at my shoulder level.

~~Holy kaltenecker, it's Bob.~~

"Huh. That is weird. I can't hear what you're saying but I can hear him hearing what you're saying. That's weird." Bob says as he lands on the ground, pointing at Kolivan as he speaks.

"Who is this? What is this?" Celestia asks.

~~His name is Bob. He's trouble.~~

"Bob?" Kolivan asks me.

"You know my name? How do you know my name?" He turns to face Pica. "Did you tell them about me?"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Pica shouts, cowering with her arms over her head.

"Now now. My dear sweet Pica. That's no way to treat a friend!" Bob says, a malicious look on his face.

"No no no no no, I'm sor-" Bob snaps his fingers.

I open my eyes to see Bob hovering inside a large orb shaped chair, I feel my feet stuck to the ground. I look around to see I am in Bob's game show room.

"Oh, this is going to suck…"

"Wait, who are you?" Celestia and Bob ask at the same time, looking at me.

"What do you mean? It's me…" I look up to see Celestia is three heads taller than me. Looking down at myself, I see a red striped shirt, black cargo pants, a silver watch that has been broken on my left arm and blue laceless shoes.

Everything I was wearing before I became a suit of armour. "HOLLY KALTENECKER, I'M BACK TO NORMAL!!" I shout at the top of my now existing lungs. My hand goes to my chest. "Ah! Breathing feels weird. Almost forgot how to breathe."

"Diego?" Kolivan exclaims, his eyes wide.

"Wait wait wait. You're saying that big walking star-in-a-suit… is This beanpole?! Hahahaha!" Bob bursts out laughing. "Oh, oh that is just hilarious!" Bob yells, wiping his eyes.

"Diego? Is that you?" Celestia asks hesitantly.

"Yep. In… flesh and bone. Gotta remember to breathe." I say, practicing my breath.

"This is what you really look like?" Celestia asks me.

"Yeah. Before I was Voltron, I was this."

"Well, with that out of the way! Welcome, contestants and audience to… Garfle Warfle Snick! Where you will Garfle or you will be Warfled.

"What?" Celestia and Kolivan both ask at the same time.

"And our contestants today, on the Goodie Two Shoes team, we have; Diego, Kolivan and princess Celestia! On the Bad Horn team, we have; Grogar, Discord and a very special guest, NIGHTMARE MOON!" Bob calls out, to various degrees of shock as said people appear on the other side of the room.

"What?!" Celestia exclaims loudly.

"Huh?!" Discord says.

"Nightmare Moon?" Grogar says with slight interest.

"Oh no. You've gotta be kidding me." I groan.

"So, stay tuned folks! This is sure to be… a heart stopping show." Bob menaces.

"Hey wait. Where's Pica?!" I demand.

"Oh her? You don't have to worry about her at all. She's resting in the lap of luxury. And she'll stay there." A section of the roof hovers down, a bed sitting on top of it with Pica chained down to it, a shackle over her mouth. In front of the bed sits a sign reading "The Lap Of Luxury". Pica screams from under her shackle, crying out to us.

"Unless you win, of course. Then, you get to do with her, whatever you wish. Honest." Bob finishes. I can tell that Celestia and Kolivan are both seething as I am.

"If I still had my armour, I would blast you into oblivion." I say, the side of my leg discreetly glowing.

"Alright folks! Stand back and enjoy the show, because it's time for…" Bob starts as a multitude of voices shout.

"Garfle Warfle Snick!"

"First up, we have…!" Suddenly, the three of us get forcibly moved to the center of the stage, Pica behind us.

"…Goo ball!" A large slowly spinning wheel appears in front of us.

"For this game, you have to use those balls of Warflator goo to hit the points on the wheel. Get fifty points, you win!" A bucket with two slimy green balls of goo appears in front of each of us, a sign next to the spinning wheel showing a list of colours, corresponding to sections of the wheel as well as two blank squares at the top.

■■
Gray = 5
Blue = 10
Green = 15
Red = 20
White = 25

The middle and edges of the wheel is gray, the other colours randomly dispersed on the wheel with only a single bit of it being white.
I don't remember this game at all. Guess it's just another difference between here and the show.

Fighting my revulsion, I pick up a glob and through it at the wheel, aiming for the white square. My aim is off as I score a blue square instead.
Drat.

"Ten points!" Bob yells, the two blank squares on the sign flipping to show a 1 and a 0. Kolivan now picks up a glob. He lines up a shot, throwing the glob directly at the white square. The wheel suddenly spins faster, making his throw hit another blue square instead.

"Another ten points!"

"Hey! The wheel moved!" Celestia exclaims.

"Of course it moved. It's a spinning wheel." Bob chastises.

"It deliberately span faster!" Celestia argues.

"Oh? Did I forget to mention that it changes speeds? My mistake." Bob says, a smug grin on his face. Celestia snarls in agitation before schooling her features as she picks up a glob. Cringing in disgust, she prepares to throw. The wheel jerks again, throwing off her aim. Aiming again, she hits a green square, the score flipping to 3 and 5.

"Fifteen points! Good shot! Wheel, change direction!" Bob announces, the wheel stopping before it begins spinning anti-clockwise.

"Why did you do that?" Kolivan asks.

"Why, because you passed the halfway point. Be careful though, you've only each got one ball left!" Bob announces. Picking up another ball, I focus on where I want to throw. I let loose the blob, the wheel jerking again, letting me directly score a green square. Discord boos at me from his table.

"And that's fifty points! Congratulations! You get one Winner point for team Goodie Two Shoes. On to the next game!" Again we are moved, now back behind our table. The other team now gets moved. Discord spooks Pica, laughing at her fright.

A screen lowers from the ceiling, the words "Guess That Thing!" written on it.

"Alright contestants. This is…"

"Guess That Thing!"

"Alright, this one will be easy, folks. All you have to do is correctly name the thing that appears on the screen. Are you ready?!" Bob yells.

"Yeah!" Discord responds.

"I like your enthusiasm, contestant number four! Alright, what… is… this?!" Bob says as an image appears on the screen.

What is that? And why does it look familiar?

Each member of the other team looking even more confused. Pica looks bewildered by it before she seems to recognise the image, provoking fear from her.

"Um… uh… a slug?" Discord answers cluelessly. The screen flashes red.

"Oh boy. That is incorrect. The correct answer is; the intestinal tract of a weblum!" Bob says, to the bad guys and Celestia's confusion.
That's why it looked familiar! It's a weblum.

"What is a weblum?" Celestia asks.

"Cosmic worm that cleans up dead planets and recycles the energy to help the universe. I think." I answer.

"Since you got that one wrong, if you fail another guess, you won't get a Winner point! Now, what… is… this?!" A painting of a blue flower appears on the screen, petals slightly spotted.

"Oh oh oh! I know this! It's-" A bandage made of yellow energy suddenly appears over Discord's mouth.

"Ah ah ah, contestant number four. You've already answered one, let your teammates answer this one." Bob says.

"I do believe that is Poison Joke. One of my son's creations." Grogar answers, Discord nodding in assent. The screen flashes green.

"You made that? Well, that explains why I could only find it on that little planet of yours. Next!" The screen changed again, this time showing what looked like a bird made of yellow and red flames shining brightly.

"It is a phoenix." Nightmare answers, smirking.

"Correct! That's one Winner point for team Bad Horn! Now on to round three!" Again everyone is moved, no more gently then the first times. "This game is…"

"…Garble Warfle!"

"This is a game all about speed folks! Answer three questions each in less than half a dobosh, you win! Ready, go! Contestant number two, how many quintants in a deca-phoeb?" Bob suddenly asks Celestia.

"Uh… I don't know…" Celestia stutters.

"Wrong! What is a binary solar system?" Bob suddenly says.

"Uh… a system with two suns!" Celestia answers.

"Correct! What kind of gem is an amethyst?" Bob rapid fires.

"A quartz." Celestia says.

"Correct, get this right, contestant three begins. What is 1000003 divided by six? Seventeen ticks remaining!"

"Uh… um… 166,667!" Celestia answer quickly.

"Eight ticks remaining! Good job! Contestant number three, it is your turn! Start the clock! What would happen if you poured the ocean of Rigel VII on an orange sun?" Bob begins questioning, looking at Kolivan.

"It would expand as the dihydrogen-monoxide would fuel the atomic reaction of the sun."

"Correct! What is a pulsar?"

"A pulsar is a highly magnetized rotating compact star that emits beams of electromagnetic radiation out of its magnetic poles." Kolivan answers briskly.

"Correct! Ten ticks remaining, where do nebulae come from?" Bob asks quickly.

"Nebulae form from interstellar gases, most commonly helium and ionised gases from dead stars." Kolivan answers.

"Correct! And with only two ticks remaining! Now, contestant number one, it is your turn!" Bob looks at me. "Start the clock! What is quintessence amplification?" Bob asks, surprising Kolivan.

"The process of using quintessence to magnify the yield of other sources of quintessence." I reply. Bob seems disappointed by my answer. Kolivan seems confused as well.

"…Correct. What is the speed of light?" Bob frowns.

"It's… uh…"

299,792,458 metres per second

"299,792,458 metres per second." I quote. Bob is surprised by my answer.

"Correct. What is scaultrite?" Bob asks, the question confusing everyone but Kolivan and Pica.

"A mineral produced by weblums when they fire their venom lasers." I remember.

"Correct, final question with eleven ticks remaining. What is the name of the Galran emperor?" Bob asks.

"Zarkon of… Daibazaal!" I answer, five ticks remaining.

"Correct! And that is round three! Team Goodie Two Shoes has two Winner points!" Bob announces. Again, we are moved back behind our table. "Now, for this next round, we need a strategical thinker. Team Bad Horn, which of you would like to volunteer?"

"I shall. I was able to rule all of Mystacor once. I did not sit idly by in order to do it." Grogar says, getting no argument from his team.

"Excellent!" Now, for this game, I'll need a help hand. Pica, my dear, could you help me out?" Bob looks at Pica, the Lap Of Luxury moving at the same time as Grogar is moved to the center of the room, a small table appearing between them.

"So, what game is this?" Grogar asks.

"It is called…" Bob begins.

"…Quackadoodle!" Bob and his "audience" announce as a red and blue Chess board appears on the small table.

"Quackadoodle? That looks like Chess." I comment.

"Chess? What a boring name. This is Quackadoodle!" Bob announces as various strange pieces materialize on the board.
They look different but that is definitely Chess.

"The rules are simple! Be the first to Quackadoodle the other player's Quacker, you win! You do that by Doodling them in a way they can't transfer."
What? Everyone thinks at the same time.

"And you, my dear Pica will be contestant number five's opponent. So, for the time being, you get to use one of your hands!" Bob exclaims as the shackle holding her left arm vanishes. She immediately tries to get the third shackle off her mouth.

"Now now, my dear sweat Pica… I'm afraid that I can't let you do that. That little gobstopper won't come off no matter how hard you- OOF!" Bob gets cut off as I shoot him in the side of the head with my Bayard, the pistol vanishing a second later.

"No! Come on!" I shout, trying to summon the weapon again but failing.

"Ow… you shot me… No one's ever been able to shoot me before. Just for that, you do not get to participate in the next round. Have fun~" Bob says as I get moved backwards, against the wall as a straightjacket and a gag appear over me.

"Diego!" Celestia and Kolivan yell.

"Now, on with the game!" Bob announces. Grogar studies his side of the board, looking over his pieces. He moves one piece, looking at Pica with a cruel smirk. She whimpers at him.

Pica is shaking nervously as she moves the pawn in front of her right bishop two steps forward. Grogar moves what I think is a knight on the left side forward and to the right.

Pica takes a breath, trying to avoid her opponent's gaze. She moves her right side knight behind the pawn. Grogar narrows his eyes at her as he makes his move. Pica's eyes widen, not expecting the strange move.

So they continue. Pica moves, Grogar moves a different piece. Pica moves, Grogar takes it. They both continue, Grogar taking more and more of her pieces while she is only able to take two.
No no no, Pica, you're losing! I try to cry out but I can't speak with this forsaken gag over my mouth.

Seven moves later, Bob announces.

"And that is Quackadoodle! Pica's Quacker has been Doodled and she can't do anything about it. One Winner point for team Bad Horn!" Everyone except me get moved back into their places, Pica's arm shackled again.

"And now for the final round! Team Goodie Two Shoes, you are tied with team Bad Horn. You lose this game, you and my dear Pica stay here with me, forever, while the amazing contestants on team Bad Horn all go free! So don't mess this up!" Bob exclaims.

"This is it. If Nightmare Moon goes free, all of Mystacor will be in peril." Celestia says as she prepares herself for the next game.

"Meaning we can't let them win." Kolivan agrees.

"And the final game is…!"

"…Squoo Backoozee!" Bob announces as a Mini-golf set appears on the floor.

"Golf?" Celestia asks.

"What? No, this is Squoo Backoozee! And you just volunteered!" Bob says as Celestia is moved to stand in front of the small course.

"So I am guessing I just need to score one point?" Celestia asks.

"Yep! All you have to do is hit the Clackalaker with this Bonk." Bob says as a golf ball appears on the course and a golf club appears in his hand, which he gives to the princess.

"Alright." Celestia says as she lines up the shot. She shifts back to hit it.

"I should also mention that if the Clackalaker leaves the green, you instantly lose!" Bob suddenly exclaims, throwing off Celestia's aim and causing her to swing and miss. Celestia glares at him before teeing up again, lightly hitting the ball. The ball rolls forward, barely skirting the edges before approaching the hole.

It seems to stop just beside it.

"Haha! Good luck next time, princess! You-" Discord is cut off as he hears his new least favourite sound.

Clunk-k-k.

"And she scores! Congratulations, team Goodie Two Shoes, you win!" Bob announces. Nightmare screams in rage.

"Nooo-!" Nightmare Moon tries to scream.

Bob snaps his fingers.

Author's Note

Sorry this took so long. I had a break over the holidays.

If you want to see what Bob's face looks like: https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/voltron/images/0/07/S7E04._Bob_headshot.png/revision/latest/top-crop/width/360/height/450?cb=20181022220253