Featuring a slave to the rhythm... and DJ Vinyl Scratch
Two juts of fibrous webbing buzzed at 20,000 beats per second, and the chitin-lined creature between them was suddenly at one with the sky. It was a melancholic hour-long journey, the lush expanse of Everfree a not-unwelcome contrast to the more familiar wind-swept sandstone and towering stone of her true home. Regardless, the one known as Gympis’s final touchdown on Canterlot soil went sadly unheralded.
Sad mostly because her goals were in direct contrast to all but a few others in this cliff-connected capital.
“It seems I have beat the hour of rush well.” Her pose on the rocky outcropping overlooking Canterlot’s Express station did not soften. “Now to get into the palace.”
Thankfully, her previous stops to this locale had allowed her close vicinity to many promising transformation targets. And one such target of opportunity was before her right now. Rather, underneath her.
A white unicorn with glasses the same color as the changeling’s eyes was trotting out of the Express right that moment, fiddling with her saddlebags. A pair of pink ear coverings were soon fished out and perched on her ears, Gympis’s hear trained enough to hear the new pulses of sound that emitted from them.
“So ponies have mastered their own form of echolocation.” And through such…. interesting devices, too! If only it was precisely tuned enough to hear her chuckle from seeing that the gray Earth pony that so often followed her had gone incognito today.
Thankfully, that role would be filled within seconds.
A flash of green embers later, and the DJ Vinyl Scratch only got three paces before a hoof touched down on her shoulder. Turning, Vinyl nearly jumped a foot in the air over her guest. “T-Tavi?! I thought you were stayin’ in Ponyville!”
“I go where the interest goes,” replied the mutated musician. “And you’re a part of the wedding audition committee. Were you expecting to be alone there?“ Oh yes, the previous knowledge of the previous goings-on in Canterlot was proving very useful indeed.
“Nah, Tavi. I… just though our last dust-up was serious is all.” A titter erupted from Vinyl’s throat. “Glad you’re here though.”
“Then let us apply sleaze to this day!” declared Gympis-as-Octavia, a forearm sweeping out toward Canterlot Castle.
The unicorn DJ had one second before falling to her haunches in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Gympis stared at her for the entire spell in the same pose, even as Vinyl returned to all fours and slapped a hoof on her shoulder in return. “Right, I kinda deserve that... but I still think it’s ‘seize the day’.”
“Oh. Right. Exactly.” Falling in lockstep behind the DJ, the pompadour-maned mare idly eyed the castle once again. After all, seizing a Royal Guard to clear Chrysalis’ path to conquest would be done this day.
Three shopping stores, two sample bars, and a rush into the little filly’s room later, Gympis started wondering if this Vinyl Scratch would be late to Cadance’s funeral, as well as her own.
While Restaurant Row had been useful in identifying locations for further changeling incursion –especially in the spacious cellars an overworked ponies – Gympis was no further to achieving her original goal than before. Every time she’d try to move away, the jostling moves of a pony couple center back into Scratch, who’d only responded with a chuckle and a pull to another store. And by this point, Gympis knew more than she’d ever wished to of Vinyl’s bewildering taste in both Saddle Arabian and “Flavor extremes just make me wanna scream!“
“Exactly… why would the taste of something you consume have an effect on your vocal cords?”
“Because both of ‘em are kickin’ Tav. Don’t be such a square now – no matter how cute it is.”
Wait – the things ponies ate could inflict violence upon them? Ponies were weird.
Thankfully, such aggression was lacking at their arrival at Canterlot Castle. Finally, thought Gympis-as-Octavia as the large double doors swang open to greet ‘the auditioning DJ Pon-3’ and her friend, I am where I need to be.
She would have her chance to subdue parts of the inner circle! Oh, no direct assault on the alicorns would be forthcoming – or winnable, considering the effort it took for Chrysalis to overcome Candace – but her will would be done.
Even now, Gympis could see the targets of opportunity. From the left-most doors, peeking into a grand dining room, came a member of the old-Guard, Knight-Commander Spearhead. Reports from the changeling that had subdued Cinnamon Chai had reaffirmed her fears – he was the source of the pleas for increased security at the Pony Princess Wedding Castle. Said the changeling threat required more focused security, lest they ‘exploit the love that Canterlot had for its elite to infiltrate them.’
Ponies.
Claiming changelings exploited love.
How the weight of the irony didn’t snap the crest off of that wastrel’s helmet boggled Gympis’ mind.
They imprisoned their family in moons for tiring of their weakness! Called entire celebrations for the appearance of magical stamps on their hips instead of actual signs of magical power! And claimed the bonds of friendship strengthed their relations – they, with no way to instantly contact their own from birth! How arrogant! How ignorant!
No, changelings cultivated love. Redesigned it. Put it to actual use, rather than wasting it on frivolities. It would be for Equestria’s good that its fate would soon be directed by those anchored to true harmony.
Vinyl then turned and nuzzled her cheek against the crook of her neck.
… though, the ways which they distributed her love were as interesting as they were simple. And… this one had mastered quasi-echolocation. Maddeningly attention-deficit as they were, ponies could serve a purpose. With direction. One that Gympis would exert right no-
“Octavia? I’d thought you said this was my turn to audition!”
A blue earth pony and a light brown mane appeared at the mutated musician’s side. A contraption of brightest gold was wrapped around her frame. A new weapon, perhaps? Gympis would find out. “I am not here to play.”
The mystery mare slowly blinked. “Then to ensure my performance is accepted?”
“Mine, actually! Can you believe it?” Vinyl Scratch chirped.
“No. The snideness in her voice sent Gympis’ jaw curling. “This is meant to be a Beauty Brass production, Vinyl. Octavia, I thought we spoke about encouraging this!”
Moving to keep Spearhead in her sights, Gympis responded, her rich accent betraying her apprehension. “Your words are irrelevant. I am here for something different – and bigger - than you.”
Beauty Brass flushed so hard, she almost looked purple. “Well! I’ll be sure to tell Fredrick about this! Come on, Parish!” Another pony next to her followed her into the foyer, shooting a regretful look to Gympis-as-Octavia as he left.
And it was then that the Octavia doppelganger saw Spearhead mosey into another door on the right of the main hall – one that Gympis knew led to Knight-Captain Shining Armor’s waiting room.
Perfect, thought the transformed troubadour. Now all she need do was lose this crowd…
“Yo, Tavi!” And suddenly the unicorn DJ was hugging her around the neck, nearly sending her to one knee. “Told you the other would be late too – I scored us some hay d'oeuvres while they were blabbing on! Think that’s how they’re pronounced, anyway…”
…though some members of that crowd might require a wrought-iron plow to separate from her. “Is there nothing else you should be doing!”
DJ Pon-3’s eyes widened at the reminder, her glasses nearly slipping off her snout. “You’re right, roomie!Hold onto this while I get the tunin’ on my keytar right!” And she suddenly produced an obscenely large silver instrument from her other pouch. Despite’s Gympis’s dropped jar, Vinyl’s bags were tossed to her, the weight of them somehow still being enough to topple her over.
“Dunno what I’d do without you, Tavi!” the unicorn sang as she legged it to the room Spearhead had just left.
The changeling, however, only sprouted a sinister grin as the door slammed shut. “That would make one of us, Scratch.”
“And just what is one of the auditioners doing here?”
Spearhead, standoffish as ever, was none too impressed with the pompadour-sporting mare before him. “To alert you of an announcement for the wedding. Cadance wishes to speak with you.” Gympis-as-Octavia repeated.
“I’ve heard of no such thing. Sure you’re not trying to get some private time with the Princess, sport?” That Gympis would let Spearhead get within a mile of her Queen was laughable. But she needed the Royal Guard’s back to her to lay the concussive bolt on him.
“I was not aware Cadance liked sports. But I suppose I could do so later.” Cadance had participated in a sport in solitary? And not even Chrysalis knew of this? Ponies were very weird.
“Hm. Wasn’t this literal on your last visit.” Spearhead frowned. “Well don’t worry; I’ll talk to the princess. Would you prefer I get your violin out of storage to show to him, too? She’s loved the craftsmanship.”
“If that is what she wishes – then get me my instrument for Cadance.”Octavia’s stance slowly spread as Spearhead turned for the door. “But I may not need music for my time here tod-”
Then suddenly. one of Spearhead’s rearhooves crashed into the mutated musician’s collarbone, sending her skidding into the desk.
“Don’t know, think facing the music is well in your future, changeling!” Spearhead snarled. “Octavia never lets go of her violin, and it was Shining that complemented its woodwork!”
No! She was caught! Gympis had to scurry to avoid Spearhead’s charge, and briefly whirled around, thinking first of de-forming. However, her saddlebags spinning and catching the Royal Guard in the chin bought her time. “Many thanks for the update then, Guard.
Gympis had to think fast. Another front flip sent her hooves crashing into Spearhead as he came for another pass, the dark-brown pegasus clambering to the floor and then Shining’s filing cabinet with a resounding thump. Running into the main room again, Octavia noticed Vinyl coming back from the foyer, Shining Armor beside her and chatting up a storm with the DJ.
Perfect.
“The Guard there thinks you are a changeling!” cried the grey mare as she galloped to her friend.
“What?!” Vinyl’s bright-blue mane whipped around her horn as she turned to Shining!” Know you were talking of Spearhead’s paranoia, but that’s whack!”
Spearhead spluttered. “N-no, sir! It’s Octavia that’s the changeling!”
“And now you’re accusing Octavia?” Shining’s look of indignation was only matched by Brass and “I’ve met her just yesterday, Spearhead; she’d never hurt a fly-der!”
“She’s hurt far more than that, Captain Shining! I was trying to subdue her and she was flipping through my hooves, like water If she’s left unwa-!”
CLANG!
Commander Spearhead was sent spiraling to the floor again, this time by Beauty Brass’ golden tubing. “How dare you assault a fellow patron of arts!” In a huff, she turned to her instrument, now sporting a sizable dent. “And now my V-Clef is ruined! I thank you advance for bringing a spare, Parish.”
“Listen, both of you: I apologize – nerves have been frayed as of late, and I’m afraid he’s the lat. If you wish to press charges, I fully understand, even if I don’t necessarily condone it.”
“None.” The swift answer from the Octavia impersonator even sent Brass’s jaw plummeting. “I do not wish to inconvenience you any further.” For soon that will be your ‘princess'’ job, she didn’t cackle.
“Then… let us proceed to the stagehouse. Guards – please take Spearhead to the barracks – no cuffs. I’m certain this can be properly explained later.” Two Royal Guarded further silent took the brown pegasus on their backs and march out of the Castle. Seconds later, Vinyl, Brass, and a dread-filled doppelganger emerged into the Canterlot streets.
A sense of dread that only ramped up when Brass turned to her and muttered, “Parish put me up to this. You owe me tomorrow.”
In the stagehouse, however, Gympis was nearing the end of her rope. With no eyes on Spearhead, she had no clue how long it’d be before her cover was blown. And with the acts in front of her being utter wastes of time, she was quickly losing her patience with what Vinyl was putting her through.
Then Vinyl herself showed up, after Beauty Brass and Parish had completed their duet.
And suddenly, Gympis got a better idea of where Vinyl and Spearhead got the idea of so much common weaponry around this city. The lights were… astounding – from even here they could put a changeling’s eyes out! And her music… she called it doing ‘the locomotion’, but it did not involve that Express sitting outside this studio at all. Goodness, and they called changelings deceptive!
However, there was an issue. It seemed such a display wore on Vinyl Scratch physically as it did mentally for the changeling, for her movements started showing sights of fatigue. A near-slip turning toward the stage, an adjustment to her strange echolocators nearly slipping them off her neck entirely. Goodness, had her ineptitude in consumption spread to her coordination as well?
Then she noticed Shining Armor getting up and moving to leave. Octavia’s hooves went up and toward each other. Once, then repeatedly, her desperate attempt increased in tempo. She needed to catch his attention, cause a distraction, do anything to keep him from moving toward Spearhead!
But of course, Armor could not see her! And she could not make him hear it either, for that blasted unicorn, the second she saw her hooves rapping together, suddenly turned up the volume and announced a desire to… do ‘the Navigator ‘? Were Gympis able to call to her, the DJ would know that navigators weren’t ‘done’’ they were called!
Yet, Armor turned toward the DJ. Suddenly her movers were not as clumsy – the love pouring through the made Gympis shudder with unbridled bliss. And even the gathered judges before her was intense. Even the yellow earth pony with a blue mane similar to hers was jutting her head to the pulses – tidal waves, rather - of her keytar!
Not only had she solved her problem, but she had also made synchrony possible among the other ponies in the process! What was this act she had performed, and why did the ponies not do it more often?!
Gympis almost regretted it when it ended. The chattering of hooves all around her, in the same pattern she had only earlier, got her thing. Had she inspired this? Could a changing use this call for similar compliance in these… strange beings?”
“Daaaaarlin’, we should’ve called you earlier! Consider yourself part of the Candance Wedding Band, DJ Pon!”
Yes, mused the changeling. Ponies were weird, but she could see the promise.
And… Brass and Parish again? The mutated musician prepared to deliver them a different hoof signal, one she’d also seen Vinyl throw to Octavia days before.
But as they turned to leave, a different signal was given – and suddenly, Gympis stiffened.
Nevermind.
There were more drones present than she had known. Subjugating Spearhead would be… so easy.
“Look, Tav.” Vinyl turned to Octavia as she scanned the hallways. “I may not like you getting on my plot ‘bout everything, but…. look at all you’ve done!”
“I fail to see what you mean.” Had her masquerade been seen by the DJ too?!
Vinyl smiled. “And the mare’s humble too! Nah, but really – goin’ to spots in the Row you normally don’t, keeping my gear safe during the trip to the castle – and that early ovation you gave me at the tryouts!” Their shared trek stopped at the edge of the Stagehouse’s stairwell, the door to another washroom listing to their left. “That was the best, Tavi. Didn’t haveta do any of that, and you did. I like that.”
“You… liked my superfluous actions?”
Vinyl’s grin could’ve rivaled her show with its radiant glow. “I’m part of the greatest even in Canterlot history ‘cuz of 'em. You bet your bass I’m down.”
Ponies were very weird, indeed.
“Apologies, Scratch, I don’t think about that this often. Especially considering my… other obligations.”
“Ain’t gotta. That you put it aside for me is what matters.” The impish malevolence in Vinyl’s voice made Gympis wonder if Chrysalis hadn’t already beat her to Canterlot for a second. “And you’re wrong, by the way.”
One of Gympis’ immaculately tailored eyebrows rose.
“Wrong about-”
And suddenly the other shot up to join it as Vinyl’s lips clamped over hers. An unbelievable rush of power jolted through her, and the DJ shoved her into the wall that somehow cleanly gave way under their falling bodies. It took Gympis seconds to realize it was the washroom’s door, swinging back shut as their kiss continued.
Suddenly, her thoughts of getting caught from before were as distant as the hive.
Vinyl disengaged with a smack, and her next words send the string of saliva between them bobbing with her bottom lip.
“By the end of this, you’re gonna have a lot to think about.”
Gympis barely even recognized what happened afterward… past a point. anyways. Specifically, the point where that stupefying unicorn had whispered “Got the rest of the stuff ready when I see you back home.” By the hive, Gympis nearly dropped her form and begged for round two had Vinyl not scampered out of the very thick-scented bathroom.
And for memory as resistant to manipulation as a changeling’s, it testified to the…. sheer everything of the act Vinyl had shared with her.
Goodness and she’d thought the DJ had a mouth on her! How had this actual grey mare not gone mute yet?!
…Had Chrysalis known of such wonders with Shining? No wonder she’d never wanted to leave!
Regardless, the changeling composer was sidling into the barracks now, thankfully bereft of guards.
“So, changeling. Back to try and make a second run?
Well, almost bereft. But it was better this way. A phrase she was starting to recognize rang truer than ever for ponies.
“Going to have your drone friend Brass jump me again? Because I’m ready.”
Realizing the shadow of the pony creeping in behind the Royal Guard, Gympis smiled broadly – and wickedly.
“Nevermind, Commander. I finally realized what I like about ponies the most.”
Before Spearhead could get his answer, a pair of hooves came whistling into his head from behind this time.
“Your overhyped sense of readiness.” The pony that had plowed him into the dirt was blue, alright – in the mane, not coat. And the form faded away to reveal purple eyes and red frills. “Should have guessed you’d be getting in on the plan too, Gympis.” Pharynx’s smirk could have cut his face in half.
“I already knew you were of us in the theater. Why did you follow me?”
A snort came from the male channeling “Someone had to make sure you didn’t give yourself away to the unicorn brat.”
“Vinyl!”
Pharynx jumped back at her sudden shout. “Sorry, what?”
“Her name... is Vinyl. She… is insistent on it, actually.”
Pharynx trotted back to Spearhead’s tail. “Guess you are becomin’ a good fact finder! I’ll have this one’s guise within the hour.” Dragging him out by the tail, Pharynx continued around a mouth full of blue hair. “Being Parish was a bigger drag n’this anyway – pantominin’ how to make that egotist Brass do what I need is a pain in the Celestia.”
Dragging him by the tail, the changeling unearthed a rift below the bushes outside of the barracks. Tossing the limp form of the unconscious pegasus into him, he followed suit within seconds, the dirt cover cutting his face in half before he addressed Gympis again.
“Leads to the caves. Coming with?”
The mutated musician shed her form and buzzed off to the top of the barracks, her eyes fluttering in joy. “It seems I’ve done enough of that already.” And she was off, soaring over the mountainside.
After all, Vinyl’s rehearsals came the day after tomorrow.
Plenty of time to get to the hive.
And maybe find out from the other drones what other foods that DJ liked.
Author's Note
"Wait Vis-a-Vis, did you pump out 3K words just to corrupt a throwaway line from Celestia in Canterlot Wedding? 
"Heavens no, I'm an author, artist, and architect of Carnation. No time for that sort of chicanery comes through her-"
"Seriously, Vis, did you fantasize about someone saying that to you in that tone?"
"...d'ya just want me to beat the crap into of you?"
"Depends: you gonna write a fic about it three days later?"
"One, stop answering my questions with questions, two, the pantomined clop in my sole M-rated fic should tell you otherwise, three, this convo is over."
