Fur Umbra

by Krystl_Fae

Rating: mature
Tags: Discord, Alternate Universe, Twilight Sparkle, Anthro, Drama, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Mystery, Princess Cadance, Romance, Queen Chrysalis
Length: 12020

Thief of Shadows, Stealer of Hearts, and Equestrian Idiot Fur Umbra is in for a wild ride when he crashes the Royal Suitor Gala for some sweets and ends up with a lot more than he bargained for.

Fur Umbra was your average Canterlot Colt. Nice house, deceased mother, father always absent on buisness trips, and an enchanted, magical cloak kept locked in the upstairs closet. Nothing out of the ordinary. But when he decides to treat himself to some deserts served only at royal galas by sneaking into the event of the century, he winds up in over his head.

Now burdened with responsibilities beyond anything he could have imagined, and forced to work out how to be social and feel normal emotions; things he never had the chance to learn as an introvert; will Fur also have the time to uncover a conspiracy running deep within Canterlot? A conspiracy that has been generations in the making, and threatens the wellbeing of all Equestria?

Just how far will this one idiot go for his pastry?

UPDATE:
Not far enough apparently. Began losing my mind while writing this, eventually wasn't happy with it enough to take it down. Now, the story is ended (unless an uproar is made about getting it rebooted and rewritten). Additional info will eventually be posted on "The REALLY Retcon Journal" given that this story has been ceased, but I'll reupload and leave this modified (and grammar checked) version for posterity.

(Cover picture credit to Life Love and Sugar)

Published 2020-07-18 20:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-07-18 20:40:00 UTC

An Uninvited Guest Part 1

Chapter 1: An Uninvited Guest
Fur stood by the buffet table lined with sweets and pastries of all types and varieties while watching on in bored amusement at the scene before him. He had snuck in through an open window a few minutes ago, though nobody had noticed his sudden appearance nor approached him for any reason.

Thank my lucky stars for dad’s cloak.

The cloak in question was a deep-blue satin, almost as dark as the princess of the night’s coat. It was crafted with special magics imbued into the threads that allowed its wearer to remain mostly unseen by diverting the attention of onlookers. Fur had ‘borrowed’ his father’s cloak to gate-crash the event. He had always liked certain pastries crafted by the castle’s chefs, but given they were only made on special occasions, and never offered to the general public, Fur had taken it upon himself to... ahem, “sample” the dishes in person at every opportunity he got.

He hadn’t been caught so far and given how smoothly this event was running it seems that he wouldn’t be caught here either. All the other attendees were foreign princes or members of nobility, all vying for the hand of one, (or both, if they were cocky enough) of the two princesses in attendance. They were Royal Suitors after all, and this was the event where upon its conclusion the princesses would be expected to chose a consort for the forseeable future.

I don’t think a thing could go wrong at this point. It’s straight on the up-and-up from here on out... Me and my big mouth!

After tempting Marephy’s law one too many times, it seems karma has come to colect on its debt as one of the princesses was making their way over towards him.

Princess Twilight Sparkle hadn’t been an alicorn for very long, and was barely of age to be married off. Fur almost felt sorry for her- not only did she now have to endure immortality, but she was expected to chose a life-long partner from among these pathetic nobles.

The princess grabbed a glass filled with a non-alcoholic beverage and drunk deeply before sighing. Fur didn’t bother attempting smalltalk, he knew she was likely sick of the nobles and their attitude and was seeking a break from it all. Surprisingly, he didn’t have to as Twilight initiated the conversation herself.

“Not much for conversation?” She asked with a small smile.

“Nah, I can’t stand nobles. I only came here for the lemon tarts- best damn dish in Equestria.”

Twilight let out a small chuckle. “Not even going to try with the posh introduction, fancy language, or fake accent?”

“Nope. Can’t be bothered. The day I act like a noble is the day Discord becomes sane.”

“Be careful what you wish for, he’s never been known to be predictable in the past. He might end up doing so just to spite you.” Twilight said with a smile. “So, what is your name?”

“Ah, does it even really matter anyways? I mean, its not like anyone here is going to matter appart from the lucky idiots that just happen to be ever so slightly more tolerable than everyone else. I couldn’t care less about any of this-“ Fur gestured to all the other suitors in the room, “-I just came here for the free food. No offence.”

Twilight gave off a small chuckle, “At least your being honest about your true intentions here- that’s already better than half of that lot.” Twilight held out her hand, “Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria.”

Fur shook the princess’ hand. “Fur. Fur Umbra.”

“Nice to meet you, Fur.”

“Likewise, Sparks.”

Twilight took a few moments to process the nickname she’d been given out of the blue.

“What? I already told you I’m not gonna act like some stuffy noble,” Fur stated as Twilight tried to contain a small bout of laughter. “‘Sides, I’m comfortable with how I am right now, I don’t think I’ve even got enough space in my head for an ego the size of a house.”

Twilight burst into a fit of giggles as she couldn’t help it anymore. She may be a member of royalty, but she’s still a person at heart. “I didn’t think noble egos came that small; *snrk* I thought they started at mountain size!”

Fur joined in as the two laughed together at the expense of nearly everyone else in the room.

“Ahh. I think this the the best I’ve felt all week... though I should probably get back to the others. Celestia wanted me to spend as much time conversing with everyone as possible without showing favouritism.”

“Eh, its fine. You probly won’t see me again anyways.”

Twilight was a little shocked “How come?”

“Well as I said, I came here for the food, I’m not actually interested in trying for anyone’s hand or anything. I mean, sure, it seems nice to start with, but actually trying to deal with the ins and outs of politics just isn’t my thing.”

“Well, there’s more to it than just that, but I get your point. Will you at least show up for the next few days though? Its nice to talk to someone that treats me as a person rather than an egotistical ass that just wants to put a ring on my finger.”

Fur had to think about it for a bit. It had been tough getting a hold of his father’s cloak, but... “Sure. I’ll see what I can do.”

“Great. Thanks. I’ll see you around, Fur.”

“See ya, Sparks.”

As Twilight moved off to speak with the other nobles Fur took another sip of his drink, grabbed a tart for the road, donned his hood, and, now that he was somewhat unnoticeable, made like a runaway train by jumping out the open window. He landed on the banister below and slid down, before jumping off into a nearby tree next to the castle gardens. From there he made his way tree-to-tree before reaching a high enough branch that he could use to jump onto the wall. Once there, he lept onto a nearby rooftop and made his way back home, arriving at the back window as his father opened the front door after coming home from work.

Fur silently ran to his father’s office, hearing the footfalls on the stairs getting louder.

“Fur! Are you home?”

Fur hung the cloak back up in it’s case and leapt across the hallway and into his bed, pulling up a notepad and pen just before his father arrived at the doorway to look in on him as he sketched.

“Hey dad; how was work?”

“Hey, son. You know how work is, the usual. Boring. But now I’m back home. How about I make us some afternoon tea?”

“No thanks, I just ate.”

His father’s eyebrows perked up, “Oh? I didn’t think you were the type to make yourself something to eat.”

“Nah, I didnt. I just got myself a snack is all.”

His father nodded. “Well, dinner will be in a few hours so I hope you’re not too full. I’ll be in my office if you need me.”

“‘Kay dad.” Fur replied as he continued sketching, grabbing a bite to eat from the tart he’d brought with him after his father left. Princess Twilight had asked him to be there the next few days, but that meant there was the possibility of getting caught each time.

Then again, dad’s going away for a while soon... that might work.

And with that thought, Fur began scheming about how he was going to continuously gate crash the most heavily-guarded event in Equestria since who-knows-when.

An Uninvited Guest Part 2

Chapter 2: An Uninvited Guest Part 2
The next day, Fur had made his way back into the castle and once again was watching on from the sidelines as the nobility before him were almost tripping over each other to have a chance at wooing one of the princesses. As he went to take a sip of his drink a voice spoke up.

“I’d be careful with the punch if I were you; somebody’s spiked it.”

Fur froze before letting what was in his mouth drain back into the glass. Cadance gave off a small chuckle at his antics; Twilight was right, he really wasn’t like any of the other- no, like any of the nobles here.

“Fur Umbra, I presume,” Cadance held out her hand which, after putting down his spiked beverage, Fur shook.

“Yup.”

Cadance’s smile widened. ‘Perhaps this won’t be so bad after all...’ she thought to herself.

The two of them talked for a while, Cadance eventually having to leave and mingle among the other guests again only for Twilight to show up a few minutes later. They then chatted until she too had to return to socialising with the noble idiots in the room. Fur decided to stick around longer today, his patience rewarded by eventually getting another chance to speak to the princesses.

Much the same happened the next day, and most of the day after that, sharing stories and talking about various topics. But after night fell, things quickly went south.

Twilight and Cadance had retired to their rooms for the night, as had many of the nobles with one notable exception. As Fur sat on the castle roof and watched the stars as he had done since he was first able to climb the castle walls, he noticed the gryphon noble called Tallon was making his way across the skies above Canterlot, and towards a certain princess’ tower.

Fur felt that something was off, as Twilight had never shown a particular interest in him before, certainly not enough to invite him to her tower alone at night, and so Fur moved to follow him from a distance as he landed on the balcony and entered the tower. Fur’s pace only quickened when he heard a shout and muffled scream from the tower’s open window- racing across the rooftops as fast as he could and scaling the tower without a second thought for his own safety, he arrived just in time to see Twilight push the gryphon away as he attempted to lunge at her.

Before the fool could make another lunge at the distraught princess, Fur grabbed him from behind by the waist, dragged him to the balcony, kicked the railing with his boot, and jumped backward over the edge with the gryphon securely in his grasp.

The moron was still trying to make sense of the situation when he realised his wings were pinned between them. “You IDIOT!! You’re going to kill both of us!!!” He screached as they fell, only for their descent to slow, coming to a complete stop as Talon’s beak barely grazed the dirt beneath him.

Fur let go of the frightened gryphon before shouting as he was pulled back upwards with speed, “Fuck you too, Talon.”

As the bungee-cord-grapple-hook-device Fur had built into his boot as a saftey measure years ago recoiled to as high as it could reach, he grabbed hold of the tower wall and scaled the rest of the way to find Twilight on the balcony in a state of shock.

“You alright, Spar-“

He was cut short as she ran up to him and pulled him into a hug, sobbing into his shoulder. Fur felt awkward with the sudden act of affection, but patted her on the shoulder and gave a small hug in return.

“It’s ok. You’re ok now. It’s over, Sparks; he’s gone. Talon’s gone.”

Twilight sniffled, “He... he said that he was here to com- *sniff* to comfort me, to help *sniff* me ‘destress’.”She began sobbing again.

A knocking was heard at the door. “Princess Sparkle, are you alright?” one of the royal guards asked through the door.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Twilight managed to reply, seemingly satisfying the guard’s curiosity for now.

“I should go...” Fur began.

“No! Uh, could... could you stay a little longer? Please? I-I don’t want to be alone after that...”

Fur gave off a small sigh. He didn’t exactly plan to be doing this, but a friend was in need of his help, and he wasn’t going to turn them down, “Sure, Sparks.”

After an hour or so the stress of the day’s events finally got to the princess and she fell asleep in his arms. Fur lifted her sleeping form up and over to her bed, laying her down and pulling the sheets over her before turning to leave. Apparently though, she still wanted a snuggle-buddy and mumbled while moving around in her sleep. He grabbed a nearby pillow, fluffed it up a bit and placed it in Twilight’s arms, soon seeing her quiet down with a smile on her face.

There was one last stop for him to make before he returned home though.

* * *

Cadance grumbled as the knocking on her window persisted. It was nearly 2 in the morning and whoever this was wasn’t going to let her sleep. She opened the window to find Fur hanging upside-down outside.

“Fur? What are... *yawn*”

“Twilight had a break-in. I didn’t see the whole thing, but there was a scream and Talon was fighting her when I got there. I think he may have tried to rape her given the line of ‘de-stress’Twilight said he mentioned, and I think he may have also been the one to spike the drinks.”

That snapped Cadance awake, “Oh my Celestia, is she ok?!?”

“She’s asleep now, and fine for the time being, but I suggest action is taken to help her come tomorrow morning. If he’s smart, Talon will have likely already tried to dispose of any evidence- including any traces of the drug that was mixed in with the drinks if he is the one responsible.”

Cadance nodded, “I’ll get onto that right away. But, how did you-“

“Ever since I could climb I would scale the castle nearly every night. The light pollution of the city doesn’t affect my view from the roof, so I’d always go there to watch the stars whenever I got the chance. It was coincidence that Talon chose tonight of all nights to follow through with his schemes.”

Satisfied that Fur wasn’t a stalker and had a legitimate reason to be there to witness the incident and intervene (given the rather convenient timing), Cadance saw Fur off before leaving to ensure her fellow princess’ safety.

By daybreak, the news was spreading like wildfire. Talon had apparently snuck back in after Fur had left for a second attempt at the princess, but was captured by Luna’s thestral guards that Cadance had sent to watch over Twilight. Fur’s suspicions had also been confirmed when a pouch, partially filled with a white powdery substance, was found in the gryphon’s room during a search by the guards. When he was brought to trial before the princesses, he’d apparently tried to play the victim card; but his lack of injuries and calling his ‘attacker’ a lunatic before the lunar diarch herself didn’t help his cause, and he was soon banished from Equestria, the Griphonian embassy apologising and attempting to make up for their mistake. Whether they were involved in the plot or not remains uncertain.

Unfortunately, things were not as cut-and-dry for Fur; his father having caught him returning to his room that morning and admonishing him for using the cloak, especially without express consent. The cloak was locked away in its case before Fur’s father left for work and Fur collapsed into bed from all the exertion he’d been put through in one night.

An Expected Guest Part 1

Chapter 3: An Expected Guest Part 1
Nearly two weeks passed since the incident with Talon. After Fur’s father had left on a trip half a week after the incident, he had been swift in breaking into the case and borrowing the cloak again- though it would be obvious he had done so the moment his father returned. Twilight asked him where he had been since it had been a number of days since they last saw each other (when Talon attacked), though he shrugged it off as a “family issue” that had come up. He spent more and more time talking with the princesses, and even showed them his personal stargazing spot one night- well, they were the ones who found him on their roof, but it was his spot.

By the end of the two weeks, the 5-month-long event was beginning to draw to a close, and soon the princesses would have to chose their suitors; or suitor if some lucky noble bastard managed to get their way, or the princesses didn’t want to be separated like Celestia and Luna did and choose one suitor so they would remain close and have each other to support them in the coming years. Not such a bad strategy, actually.

Before anyone knew it (metaphorically), the choosing ceremony was set to begin, and the princesses’ suitors assembled. Despite not officially being on the list and having originally snuck in only for the food (and later at the request of the princesses for the company), Cadance had asked Fur to be present for the ceremony nonetheless. The princesses already knew he wasn’t supposed to be there, having seen him head to his home in Canterlot a few times in the past (especially after the stargazing experience) and realising he wasn’t one of the noble suitors, but they didn’t seem to particularly care, even when he approached them about it. And he had no reason to deny their request.

Of course, the choosing ceremony wasn’t final. After about a year of courting a suitor the princesses could theoretically chose another among those present today to court should they feel unsatisfied with their original choice- though it was seen as a great insult and a sign of bad luck for their reign so such practices were avoided as much as possible. Unless they courting someone like Tallon. Hence the rule.

It was certainly a nervous affair, for everyone* involved. Fur held no envy for the princesses, forced to decide whom they would spend the rest of their life with from this day forward, so long as nothing went wrong. The nobles in the room were all pacing or sipping their beverages... except for the few that felt completely sure the princesses would chose them without hesitation. As for Fur, he was worried that one of the diarchs would spot him and his cover would be blown; either having to escape from the castle on foot or let the young princesses explain why he was here, an awkward situation in either case- especially given that all eyes in Equestria would be on them today.

Surprisingly, it didn’t take long for Twilight and Cadance to decide, likely having already decided last night in preparation for today. The two princesses eventually made their way over to Fur, whom was sitting on a table (yes, on) at the side of the room taking a sip of non-spiked punch (unlike the last time he’d tried it).

“Having trouble picking out your special someones?”

Twilight looked at Cadance who spoke up, “No, we’ve already made a decision.”

Everyone that hadn’t gone silent after the two princesses entered the room went silent now after hearing those words.

“Well then, congratulations. So who are the lucky nobles then?”

Twilight rubbed her arm, “W-well...”

“We only chose one,” Cadance finished for her.

Murmurs and whispering broke out among the nobles around them.

Fur raised his eyebrows. “Well, I’d say that’s a surprise, but it’s a smart choice. Princesses Celestia and Luna did much the same thing to avoid being separated all those years ago which, given the... thousand years thing, was probably for the best. No offence intended towards them, of course.” Fur went to take another drink, “So, who is the lucky bastard?” Fur asked.

The two looked at each other before turning and responding.

“You, actually.”

Fur froze, the nobles froze, for all intents and purposes the entire universe itself froze at that moment in time. Things went by in slow motion as Fur’s mind attempted to reconcile what he had just heard with reality. ‘You’. Such a simple word had completely thrown all concepts of conniption out the bandersnatch.

Fur took a moment to right himself again and swallowed a mouthful of punch before asking; “Sorry, but can I get you to repeat that?”

“We chose you,” Cadance rephrased.

“You as in wy-ohw-yu? As in-“

“As in ‘Fur Umbra’ you, yes.” Cadance clarified.

At this point nobody really knew what to say. The nobles that were nervous were let down like a pile of bricks from a tenth-story-window; those that had been overconfident were seemingly confuffled as to why they weren’t picked; and Fur was wrapping his head around how he was chosen when he shouldn’t even have been there.

A clapping noise drew them all from their musings as a disfigured... figure, appeared out of thin air behind Fur.

“Congratulations, my boy. Two princesses? No-one’s done that in over a thousand years!” Discord said as he laid a paw on Fur’s shoulder, pulling him into a hug. Then his head perked up as an idea struck him. “Oh! This calls for a celebration! And I know just who to ask!”

Discord began dragging Fur from the room by the scruff of his neck as the poor stallion tried to dig in his heels to no avail, merely creating two trenches into the (normally solid) floor; likely a result of Discord’s chaos magic.

“So, how do you feel about cake? Oh, who am I kidding, everybody loves cake!” The draconequus prattled on, “And you haven’t tried cake until you’ve tried Pinkie’s, they’re the BEST! You’ll love it- if Celestia doesn’t get to it first,” Discord gasps, “We should hurry and make sure we get there before she eats it all!”

And with that, Fur was dragged through a painting and off to who-knows-where by the spirit of chaos while everyone else was left to pick up the pieces.

An Expected Guest Part 2

Chapter 4: An Expected Guest Part 2
They all sat silently around the somewhat lavish, yet children’s-party-themed table. Fur was trying to hide himself in his cloak and pretend he wasn’t there, despite the cloak never being intended for use in this kind of situation. On his left sat Discord, whom was messing around with a deck of cards to Pinkie’s glee, the mare herself beaming in delight and giggling from time to time. Next to him sat Celestia, her expression unreadable, though not entirely pleasant or calm, but certainly not hostile either. Cadance was next, sipping tea with a calm and innocent facade, though it was somewhat obvious that she was faking it. Then was pinkie, Twilight (trying to hide in her mane and more than a little concerned about the situation), and Spike (nervous simply because of the unease in the air from the combined nerves of everyone present). Luna was next, a slight scowl on her face, though her true thoughts were undecipherable. And finally, Gleaming Shield sat next to Luna and an empty seat was between her and Fur.

Celestia and Luna had been waiting here after giving one last pep-talk to Cadance and Twilight before they went into the room next door where the nobles (and Fur) were, before waiting here at the table for their return with their fiancée/s. Then Discord had shown up, carting along Fur, and plonking both of them down at the table, rambling on about the “match made in heaven”. Then at his mention of the word “party”, a Pinkie had shown up (Celestia was certain there was more than one of them at this point) and the place was instantaneously decorated in all sorts of interesting decor. Soon after, the young princesses themselves, along with a few others, made their way in and sat down. The other elements would have been in attendance as well, but Twilight advised them to stay back for a while, so long as princesses Celestia and Luna were in such a volatile mood.

It was silent. It was awkward. And to Fur it seemed to last forever. He hadn’t expected any of this- of course he didn’t, this was unprecedented! Two princesses getting married to the same stallion was rare, outright myth if not for the actions of Celestia and Luna over 1000 years ago, but for both to be marrying a commoner of all people. It was unheard of in the slightest. AND HE WASN’T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE THERE!

A clock on the far side of the wall could be heard ticking in the almost-but-not-quite silence of the room.

The atmosphere was heavy, tense in the extreme, and nopony wanted to break the silence, even if they all wanted it to end.

While Discord and Pinkie paid no mind to the dilemma of those around them, Celestia, with her years of wisdom, summoned the strength and made the first move.

“So this is how it is,” the room fell silent once again. Celestia sighed, “I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised, something like this was bound to happen at some point in Equestrian history. I just thought we had already avoided it with neither of you holding onto any serious previous relationship.”

Cadance and Gleaming looked at each other somewhat subtly, though it was clear she was talking about them. They had had to give up their relationship together when it became apparent that Cadance would have to marry another for the sake of her role as princess, but the feelings between them remained mutual, if a little bit diluted.

Luna looked up, “Well, look at the bright side. At least we don’t have to worry about the Griphonian delegation complaining after the stunt they pulled, so at least thats one less kingdom we’ll have to explain this to,” she stood up from her seat, “Maybe we should just throw this whole thing out the window in the first place and pretend we’re normal ponies that live normal lives and not some imortal demi-godesses that control some of the most fundamental aspects of every-day life!!”

“Luna, calm down. We are trying to deal with this situation in a reasonable manner,” Celestia admonished. “Besides, I am certain there is a very good reason behind this decision. Perhaps they didn’t know that this stallion wasn’t a part of the proceedings and-“

Discord interrupted her. “Oh, they knew alright. They knew for WEEKS before today! And they still chose him!Its almost like nobles are stuck-up pricks and a real person is so much better that they’d both jump at the chance no matter who the pony is!“

“THATS NOT TRUE!!” Twilight yelled back. “The... bit about nobles is true, yeah. But Fur’s not just anypony! He’s-“ Twilight cut herself off, realising what she was about to say. Under any other circumstances she would have blurted it out without a second thought, but she realised where the line of thought was going and stopped herself short before she accidentally made the situation any worse.

“He’s...what, exactly?” Luna questioned.

Twilight relented; “He’s... he’s special... to me, to us. He saved my life when Tallon attacked me in my room, and even though he was uncomfortable with the whole situation, he stayed with me until I fell asleep again. If it wasn’t for him...”

Celestia perked up at this news. Twilight and Cadance had told her that they’d managed to fight off Talon at first, before giving in and telling her that a mysterious somepony helped them when the evidence of another presence with Twilight in the tower that night became undeniable, though they had never revealed who it was that was with them.

Gleaming and Luna frowned. It seemed a little too convenient that somepony was there that night to help Twilight when nopony else was around, especially after they chose to marry said pony. Cadance noticed their looks though, and spoke her piece.

“If you’re thinking he was there on purpose, think again. You remember the loose tiles on the roof? The ones that would shift in the night like someone was running on them and slipped? That was Fur. He’s been stargazing from up there since he was a colt... well,” Cadance looked at Fur a little sheepishly; “a much younger colt,” Fur shot her a glance; “He knows the outside of the castle better than I do, and I’ve been living here for years!”

Luna turned to the stallion, whom at this very moment seemed more like a frightened colt pretending the monsters under the bed weren’t there. “Is this true?” She asked with authority.

Fur, under his hood and as curled into a ball as he could possibly make himself, nodded; “Y-yes, y-your highness...”

Celestia turned her attention from Fur back to her sister. “Well, he’s not lying.” Noticing the look her sister had, she added “and would you please stop with the overbearing presence, you’re scaring the poor stallion.”

Luna mumbled a brief, though not too heartfelt “sorry” and relaxed a little bit.

“I know it seems a little bit coincidental, but things like this happen. Perhaps it was just meant to be, perhaps it was just dumb luck. But whatever it is, Cadance and Twilight did chose him, whether we like the circumstances or not.”

“Perhaps you could not talk about this as if we aren’t here,” Cadance mentioned.

“Apologies,” said Celestia a little guiltily.

“Fur, are you alright? I know we didn’t exactly ask for your opinion in all this...” Twilight asked.

Fur gave a small, depressing chuckle, “Hahaha... dad’s gonna kill me...”

Discord spoke up, “Really? Two ‘all-powerful’ princesses holding your fate in the palms of their hands, and all you’re worried about is your old man’s reaction to all this?”

Fur looked up a bit at Discord, “Believe me, you’d be scared too if you knew what he’s like. Especially given what I did... and what I’ve gotten myself into.”

Luna, still searching for any fault in him that might give him away was first to ask, “and what did you do?”

“Stole my dad’s cloak,” Fur slightly lifted the cloak he had wrapped himself in, “Multiple times. Without permission, and against dad’s wishes. Not to mention I’m supposed to be grounded right now and the cloak locked up in its case until dad gets back in 2 days after he caught me with it last time.” Another self-deprecating laugh. “I’m so screwed.”

Opening Pandora’s Box

Chapter 5: Opening Pandora’s Box
“Junior? What did you do?!” Fur’s father, AKA Fur Senior, asked. “I’m on my buisness trip and everything’s going fine until two royal guards come up to me and tell me to return to Canterlot immediately. So tell me, Junior, just what did you DO?”

Senior only called Fur ‘Junior’ when it was serious, though given the royal guard reception and being directed straight to the castle, of course he’d think it was serious. And it kinda was... ish.

“I... stole your cloak... mul-tiple times...” Fur responded.

“It’s not Fur’s fault,” Twilight tried to intervene, “It’s our fault. If it wasn’t for us asking him to-“

“NO! Nonononononononono! Of course it’s not your fault princesses! It’s my fault for letting Fur do something this stupid in the first place. At least tell me you still have it.”

Fur held the cloak up to his father, “Not a tear in it, just like always...?” Fur tries to sound somewhat happier, though comes off questionably by the end.

Senior grabs the cloak from Fur, “Well thank god for that. Wait, always? Have you been taking this without my permission before?!”

“Yes...”

Senior sighed. “I don’t even know what to do with you anymore. What trouble did you even get yourself into. With the royal guard and princesses involved it must be serious.”

“I...” Fur paused, unsure of how to continue. “Uhm... I was...” he looked to Twilight and Cadance for support. “I... snuck into the princesses’ suitor gala... and, um-”

He didn’t get any further. “The suitor gala?!? No WONDER the royal guard is involved! Junior, what have I told you about the castle! It’s OFF-LIMITS!!” Senior reprimanded. He turned to the princesses, “I am so sorry for my son’s poor behaviour during this time. I will make sure that such an incident doesn’t occur in the future and that you’ll never see him agai-“

“NO!!” Twilight cried out, Cadance looking like she wanted to say something as well, “I-I mean, no, that’s not necessary. When Tallon attacked me, it was Fur’s swift actions that stopped him and saved my life. I-I don’t know what would have happened if he wasn’t there that night to save me.”

“He was right about Tallon spiking the drinks too, we found evidence of powder in his room that would have ordinarily been shrugged off as medicine, if not for Fur sharing his suspicions that Tallon might have been the one adding a little more ‘punch’ to the drinks,” Cadance added. “He was also the most enjoyable to be around during the whole thing when everyone else we talk to just wants to bed us or stick a ring on our finger. He was at least normal compared to the rest of them.”

Senior’s expression softened a little bit. “Well, alright. I’ll give you that, but still, he interrupted an important royal event simply so he could... could...” he turned to Fur, “What were you even doing there anyway?”

“Lemon tarts. They don’t make ‘em as good anywhere else,” Fur replied. Bluntly, and without remorse or regret.

Senior had to take a few seconds to think. “Lemon... you interfered in the event of the century for a dessert?!?” Senior said with disbelief.

Fur merely shrugged. “They’re that good.”

“Right. And you just happened to save a princess along the way because you just so happened to be there at the right place and the right time. Eyeyey... what are you gonna tell me next, you got enganged?”

“Twice, actually,” Cadance replied, Twilight blushing beside her.

Senior took a moment to take it all in. Nobody could blame him, the entire situation was absurd. After several minutes, he turned to face Fur. “And I suppose you know exactly how this happened.”

Fur took in a deep breath, opened his eyes, and spoke, “I have, absolutely noidea how this happened. Don’t look at me, I gatecrashed this thing for a pastry, returned by request of the princesses, happened to be stargazing at the right time, couldn’t attend for nearly a week after you grounded me (before you left); thanks for that, by the way; and then this happened. I’m even more stumped than you are, and I was there for it all.”

“We know he’s not a noble, or a prince or anything, but he’s the one we chose. It’s... kinda a bit late to go back on that now.” Twilight said.

“And what about the other suitors? Were they not better suited to the two of you? And why both of you? It just doesn’t make sense, I mean, you have anyone in the world to choose from, powerful kings, rich princes, honourable nobles, and yet you both choose him?!” Senior asked, pointing at Fur.

“Dad, I don’t mean to be rude, but have you ever seen the type of person that travels halfway around the world to marry one of these princesses? They’re either old perverts or rich kids wanting new toys to play with. They suck. Full offence intended.” Fur said.

“Junior! How dare you ca-“

“He does have a point.” Celestia commented, walking in on the conversation with Luna close behind. “They aren’t exactly the nicest lot, but they are what we have to deal with if we wish to not upset our neighboring kingdoms. It was fate that he was there the night Twilight was attacked, perhaps this is the work of fate once again.”

“Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, forgive me, I did not see you there.” Senior said as he bowed. “Junior!” he hissed at Fur in an attempt to get him to bow also.

“It is alright, there is no such need for formalities here.” Celestia said, allowing Senior to stand up again. “As it stands, by Equestrian law and tradition, Fur, chosen by Cadance and Twilight, is now their fiancée. There is nothing else that can be done about it.”

Senior stood in silence thinking for some time. “If that is how it is, that is how it is,” he turned to Fur, “but don’t think that you’re out of the woods yet, Junior! I’ve got some things to say to you young man!”

* * *

Fur was lectured for the rest of the day, through the night, and well into the following day before being allowed to grab something to eat and finally fall asleep. Senior had been tough on him, moreso than usual, but by the end of everything it was clear he was more concerned for Fur’s sake than his own.

As Fur lay down and let sleep overtake him, Luna stealthily entered the stallion’s dream. “Alright, Fur, let’s see what secrets you’ve got in here. I wonder what they might be? Perhaps a master plan to overthrow Equestria? The delusions of a hormone-driven teenage colt? Or perhaps you want to just feel the rush of making far superior beings bend over backwards to do you service.”

Luna searched through his mind until she came across something interesting, a memory from not too long ago. She peeked in on it, only to find it was the memory of Cadance and Twilight paying him a surprise visit while he was stargazing on the roof and frightening the living daylights out of him.

“Hm... not exactly what I was looking for, but perhaps a similar memory...”

Luna set to work on similar memories, looking for what happened the night Tallon attacked. What she found was exactly as Fur, Cadance, and Twilight described, nothing new of interest. She looked for older memories, when he first showed up to the event. Nothing out of the ordinary or malicious in any way. She tried every memory she could find, but by the end of the dream had to give up on her search. They were right; he was a perfectly normal, if somewhat overly-abstinent, stallion.

“Guess I was worked up over nothing.” Luna said to herself as she left the dream world, a lone figure watching her departure.

Soon, princess. Very, very soon...

Curiosity

Chapter 6: Curiosity
“Uncle Chip!!” Fur cried out as the old stallion opened the door, acting like a foal in a candy store- well, like an ordinary foal in a candy store anyway, Fur would have probably thrown up if he was surrounded by that much sugar.

“Hey, Fuzzy, how’s my favourite nephew going?”

Fur looked up at him with pure disdain. “I’m your only nephew.”

“True, true.”

The two looked at each other before getting back to hugging.

“Its so good to see you again!”

“Ahahah! Yes, it’s been too long!” Chip replied. “Your old man tells me you’ve got a little bit of a mare problem. A mare problem I can help with!” Chip says as the two settle into the small living room. “So, tell me, you know how to date, squirt?”

“Uhm...” Fur bit his lip exageratedly, “Nope.”

“Ah, I see. That’s where your problem is! You can’t get a mare ta like you if you haven’t shown them a good time first! So, who is the lucky mare that get’s my nephew goin’?”

“Well, y’see, there’s two of them...”

“TWO of them?!? My boy, I know I always tell you ta aim high, but isn’t this a little extreme, don’tcha think? Set your sights on one at a time, bud.”

“It’s... not exactly that simple, I... kinda got myself into this and now I just want to make sure I don’t screw it up.”

“Fuzzy, how do you not know a thing about dating yet are already cheatin’ on your marefriend?!”

“Well, they aren’t exactly my marefriends... kinda... they’re my... well... they’re my...(mumbling)”

“I’m sorry sport, my hearin’s shot. What was that?”

“I said they’re my fiancées!”

Chip was stunned while Fur tried to hide his embarrassment- despite his inability to blush doing most of the work for him. “Well how in the heckly doo-da did ya manage-“

“I snuck into the royal suitor gala, things went sideways, then got wierd, now I’m stuck without any idea of how to begin a relationship, let alone a marriage!”

“Or two.” Chip quipped.

“Or two!” Fur shouted back.

“Geez, so...”

“Yeah, they are.” Fur replied back whilst trying to curl himself into a ball.

“Wow. Hahah! Well look at you! I always said you were fit to be a prince and look where you are now!”

“Not. Helping!”

“Alright, alright. So, first thing, you gotta...”

* * *

Meanwhile in the castle, Cadance and Twilight were learning about what was soon to happen the hard way.

Cadance was beet red as she studdied the book Celestia had given her about previous royal marriages, each description seemingly more in-depth than the last, though Celestia and Luna’s was absent- but that was probably for the best.

Cadance was broken out of her stupor when twilight groaned. “How am I supposed to do this? I mean, I’ve never been in love, I’ve never had a coltfriend, I’ve never been on a date... I haven’t even kissed anyone that isn’t a family member!”

Apparently Twilight hadn’t reached the part Cadance was at in her copy yet, thankfully, though it would be funny seeing the innocent mare’s perception of marriage and love shattered by these overly-explicit, detailed descriptions of the acts these members of royalty got up to.

“Just take it slow, one step at a time. Go on a date, and see what happens from there,” Cadance advised. “It’s not something you can study for or make happen through sheer willpower, it has to happen naturally. You’ll see.”

“But how will I know when I feel it? How do I-“

“You know that warm feeling you get inside? As if everything’s gonna be alright no matter what and you would do anything to protect the one you love, the one that makes you feel that way?” Twilight nodded. “That’s as close to love as can be explained through mere words. Its something you really have to experience for yourself in order to understand.”

A knock at the door stopped the conversation. Luna walked in carrying a stack of papers soon after.

“Celestia and I wrote this a long time ago, it’s not quite exact, but it’ll have to do.” She placed the stack of papers on the desk between them. “Don’t tell ‘Tia I gave you these.” Cadance and Twilight nodded in unison and Luna left them alone once more.

The two mares looked at each other before diving towards the table and reading through the pages together. Eventually, the two started to blush before turning completely red as the topics became... intimate. Twilight was almost horrified, but glued to every word all the same. Cadance was hooked just as much, and was taking in every word before her.

When they finally reached the end, they found some half-burned or torn pages that had been repaired with magic along with a note from Luna.

I found Celestia attempting to burn these after taking them from her private diary. Take a peek, if you dare...

* * *

Luna watched on through the crack in the door as they read through the pages, giggling to herself like a filly. When they got to Celestia’s burnt pages things became even more hillarious as the two were completely shocked at what they read: Celestia’s old erotica fictions she had written.

Luna knew Celestia missed the old days from time to time, and wishes that she could have done things differently while she had the chance. Of course, ‘Tia still could if she wanted to, but her duties “prevented her from actively seeking out such things”. Perhaps Cadance, alicorn of love, might have a chance to fix this while providing Luna with a front-row seat to the ensuing entertainment caused by her sister’s actions.

This would be fun.

* * *

Celestia watched her sister from behind a corner. Luna had given them the documentation they had written years ago (though she had no clue about her restored diary pages), but Celestia knew exactly how to get back at Luna. And she was going to get Cadance, alicorn of love, to do it while providing her with the drama caused by her sister’s actions.

This would be fun.

Dead Cats

Chapter 7: Dead Cats
Fur Grimwald Eugustor the first was a rather odd person. Unlike many other people, he seemed to radiate an aura of complete calm, yet deep animosity towards anyone whom approached him. His appearance was nothing however, when compared to his accomplishments- one of his most recent of which was lying before him in a revolting manner that would send anyone with even a hint of dignity running away in shame and disgust.

He looked down upon the prone, unconscious form of Chrysalis- former queen of the changelings and aggressor of Equestria, now reduced to a slobbering, semi-cognitive mess only good for storing love energy until her body gives out and her usefulness is expended.

After taking another moment to think over how difficult it had been to break her mind and will, as well as remembering the glorious satisfaction that came with it when he finally succeeded, Fur turned and left the cell, signaling to the changeling guard on duty outside to lock his newest prize back up. Soon he would have her changelings give him an army, and then he would begin to make his move. The time was almost right and soon... yes, very soon now; and then....

As Fur stepped into one of the main chambers of the hive he was reminded exactly why he despises working with changelings, even if he was now essentially their king.

He looked at the dead non-changeling bodies laid out before him. These were spies that had come too close to uncovering their location. They had been set up to seem as if they had died of natural causes and their carcasses fed off of by wild animals. He nodded at the guard and the corpses were dragged by drones out into the wilderness. Nobody could know they were here, that he was here. Not yet.

He made his way back into the heart of the hive where the newest batch of changeling proto-queens was currently training. He wanted them to be his eyes, ears, and hooves in the field. They would be trained to fight, survive, and most importantly, obey.

Noticing his presence, they all lined up and groveled before him as he made his way to the throne at the far end of the room and sat, before motioning for them to rise. He scrutinised each one of them thoroughly. Even a hint of weakness was a bad sign, but could be dealt with in time. Those that didn’t improve or, god forbid, showed the slightest hint of disobedience, were immediately sent to join Chrysalis in her chamber. If there was too many of them, the older, weaker ones were culled off to make room for their younger counterparts. And even among the proto-queens that made it through training, some of them would be molted forcefully into queens only to join Chrysalis anyway.

Such was the cycle of the new hive; birth and death. That which was not useful was destroyed, that which opposed them was destroyed, that which was not destroyed was made useful in any way possible. It was the new way of things.

Fur pointed to two of the proto-queens out of the batch of 17 before him, one of the original 18 already having been killed previously for its weakness, and the two were taken away to the ‘blank room’ as the changelings called it, a room no sane changeling dared enter unless they wished to suffer the same mind-melting torment as those that joined Chrysalis. Even the room itself had special plating that prevented changelings’ innate telepathic communication from passing through.

Fur watched as the group of 17, became 15 and the two proto-queens were dragged off. Some would go with horror etched onto their faces, others simply giving in to their fate, either out of hopelessness or knowing they weren’t good enough for his purposes. Others yet were dragged off with looks of excitement, as if they were looking forward to their... “future”.

Whatever the case may be, or what the changelings thought of it, he didn’t care. Fur was proud of the blank room. It was originally a prison for those that remained loyal to Chrysalis until the end. But when her mind had broken and she gave in, those physically near to her did as well and acted as psychic projectors of that same idea. Any changeling that walked in there was subjected to the months of torture, psychological rewiring, and personality rewriting Chrysalis went through in a matter of mere minutes.

An impressive feat, to say the least, though one that would send any sane pony running for the hills. Good thing changelings are only as sane as you allow them to be.

And the best bit? Changelings were no longer as starving as they once were, the holes in their bodies beginning to show signs of healing, the size of them diminishing as time passed.

A combination of sending blank drones to just within the crystal heart’s range of effect to fill up on love before returning to the hive, and his better management of their resources was brilliant, and allowed them to produce hundreds of changelings a week. The only thing they had any trouble with was finding enough subjects to continue the production of drones, workers, and proto-queens. They had kidnapped hundreds of creatures in the past months, but even now Fur still had to “donate” from time to time. He shuddered at the memories. It wasn’t an unpleasant experience, that was certain when it came to changelings, but it was still slightly off to what little remained of a normal pony inside his wretched mind and soul. Good thing that he wouldn’t retain that bit of himself for much longer.

Overall, production was going well. Soon he would have an army of unquestioning soldiers that would die at the drop of a hat if he ordered it to be so. And his experiments with changeling excretions were progressing as well. He’d already perfected a type of spit-on armor out of the resin changelings produce, and liquid emotional energy was a treasure trove of discovery with thousands of possible applications, but by far his best work was on changeling queen pheromones and poisons. A biproduct he’d been working with for a while turned out to be greater than what it was a biproduct from. Now, it was nearly ready for mass-scale production, by which point nopony, not even those cursed alicorns, would be able to stop him. They would fall, Equestria would fall, the whole world would fall, and only Fur would remain. Fur and his kin would rule the planet until the end of time.

It was so close now, he could almost taste it.

Someone entered the room and groveled before him.

“My king, everything is going as planned. The Griffish Isles are almost ours, and Abyssinia is ready to fall.” The figure stated.

“And what of Equestria? What of the alicorns?”

“Equestria will soon be ready to fall. Everything has been set up as you ordered, and the plan is falling into place...” the gryphon looked upwards with the green eyes of a changeling queen glowing in its sockets; “...Your majesty.”

Fur leaned back on his throne. “I hear there is a royal wedding coming up between a certain two princesses and a peasant colt.” Fur leaned forward, looking the ‘gryphon’ right in the eye. “Let’s say we give the chap a little something for the occasion?” He asked with a wicked grin on his features.

“I think that’s an excellent idea, my king,” replied Tallon.

Author's Note

I wanted to put in a parody of the Lion King’s “Be Prepared” where changelings replaced hyenas, but copyrighted song lyrics aren’t allowed and I ain’t gonna risk it. So, just imagine that if you want to.

~~Expect more from Fur in the “near” future.~~

NEWS:
This chapter originally had elements from "A Substitute Demon" (Graphic content: where changelings were more akin to real-world insects and the evil overlord (no spoilers here~) turned changeling queens into mindless egg sacs (for all intents and purposes)), which I decided would be a little too dark for the rest of this story as it is currently. As such, this chapter has been modified to make it less... icky.
If you want a story more like the original, go read A Substitute Demon for yourself (it's a great book right here on FimFiction!)

Living Cats

Chapter 8: Living Cats
Fur knocked on the door. He wasn’t expecting an answer immediately, but it was nice when he got one.

“Come in.”

He opened the door to Cadance’s room. He’d kind of seen it before, but it was dark and he was hanging upside-down outside the window from a grappling hook. It was as pink as pink could be.

“Oh! Fur!” Cadance shut the book she was reading. “How are you?”

He scratched the back of his head. “I’m, uh, good. I’m good. I, uh... well, this is kinda rushed and everything but I thought that, y’know what, if we’re gonna do this, might as well try to do it right. So, since we didn’t get to spend any time getting to know each other outside of the gala...thing; I wondered if you two 'd like to hang out or... go on a date or somethin’...”

Cadance gasped, “Right! We haven’t done anything like that yet! Shoot, and we’re already going in this for the long-haul... might as well late than never. I’ll go get Twi!” Cadance rushed out of the room, “Be back in a minute!”

It took less than 5 minutes for Cadance to return with Twilight in tow, whom was already dressed for the outing. “Okay, I’ll be ready in a sec, just...” Cadance pushed the two of them out of her room, “...gimme a sec to change first.” She said as she shut the door.

Fur walked over to the adjacent wall and leaned up against it.

“What, not gonna try and sneak a peek at Cadance while she’s changing? I bet there’d be hundreds of stallions just wishing to get a glance through that keyhole,” Twilight asked, her not-so-innocent side showing a little.

“Eh, that's for people who don’t give a damn about privacy or personal space. I’d hate it if someone came barging in on me while I was changing, looking in on Cadance right now is basically the same thing. ‘Sides...” Fur stretched, “Not my style. I don’t really care for that sorta thing, especially outside of wedlock. And before you get any ideas, no, that ideal isn’t gonna change just because we’re engaged or married or whatever. Its a consensual thing.”

The door opened and Cadance walked out of it in a dark blue skirt and light blue top. “Alright, I’m ready.”

Twilight looked at her own getup, which seemed far too casual compared to what Cadance was wearing. “Maybe I should change...”

“It’s just a casual thing. It’s not like you’re gonna be paraded down the road and forced to sit in the royal box wherever you go or something. It’s just casual- y’know, grab some junk food or a drink or something and just... hang out.”

* * *

“...I really gotta kick the habit of saying things like that. Me and my big mouth...” Screw you Marephy!

It seemed foolish at the time, but Fur was thanking his past self for bringing along an extra-large cloak that he now wore to hide himself as they were escorted down the street by a squad of royal guards. They had been waiting for them at the gate and had fallen into formation the moment the princesses left the castle. The cloak Fur wore wasn’t special, and certainly not enchanted like the one he used previously, but it hid his identity from any and all onlookers whom gathered to watch the princesses. This was technically their ‘first’ public outing since the suitor gala, and everyone was trying to get a glimpse of who they picked out after news had spread of them having chosen so swiftly. There had been a rumor circulating that there was only one suitor, whether it was from an inside source or simply guessing the same thing that Celestia and Luna did would happen again is debatable, but many were shocked to see only one with them, though some argued the “other one” might be still in the castle or meeting them somewhere else, etc. though those people were few and far between.

Everyone wanted to see who was under the cloak, especially given that the rumors of one suitor were almost definitely true by this point. Unfortunately for them, the cloak worked and nopony saw Fur’s identity.

“I’m sorry, guys,” Cadance said, “I guess they must have really amped up security after last time,” (when Chrysalis invaded a wedding between Fancy Pants and Fleur De Lis) “I guess, we should...”

“Continue,” Fur whispered to them; “30 stuffy nobles in a plaster box couldn’t break me. 1001 ponies and 20 royal guards in a place the size Canterlot won’t either. We came out here for a date, and a date we’ll get; by Tartarus or high water!”

The princesses had to admire his tenacity. Despite everything else, he still powered on even with the crowd and their attention. They stopped at a donut shop and picked up a few bags (one was sent to Celestia via guard) before the group made their way back to the royal gardens to enjoy some peace and quiet.

* * *

Celestia looked out the window at them. They were chatting away and laughing at silly stories like ordinary fillies and colts should. The mare sighed, wishing it could have been her down there with them, unlike the fate she was forced into at such a young age. Her initial reaction towards Fur had been wrong. He was nothing like she had feared. If anything, he was indeed by far the best match they could have possibly made out of anyone at the gala. He didn’t see them for their status, fame, wealth, or connections. He saw them as ponies, as mares- and the more Celestia watched, the more she found herself wishing she had found someone like that when she was young.

A guardspony knocked on the door, before bringing in a bag of donuts. They hadn’t forgotten her in all this it seems, and Cadance even remembered her favorite. Celestia bit into one of them. A bit sweeter than usual with a definite aftertaste of something, but she wasn’t complaining, and otherwise just as good as she remembers them. She watched on as Fur was telling them some silly story or joke that made them all laugh.

It was... almost incredible, seemingly impossible to find someone like him. Someone who sees past the façade and into the pony underneath. He hadn’t even seen something like this happening, he was just some ordinary colt. But even now, with all of this thrust upon him, this heavy burden and responsibility, he still did everything he could for them. He took them on a date, even though they were already engaged, he spoke to them like ponies, not like princesses or some mare-of-the-house like Celestia had been.

Thinking back on it, Celestia was happy that those days were gone. Perhaps... some time in the future, Celestia would find her own special someone. Someone who was to her like Fur was to them, someone that actually cared about her as a pony... maybe. Maybe not; there were seemingly less and less people like that every day. 1000 years ago, everyone was so courteous and kind, and now, nobles were just stuck-up, arrogant jerks.

*THUNK*

Celestia looked over and noticed she’d slammed her fist down onto the table. Strange... she never usually got this upset about something like this...

Celestia shook her head and grabbed another donut, about to return to her work when she noticed she hadn’t dismissed the guardsman yet. She waved her hand to dismiss him and got back to what she had been doing previously, scoffing down another donut as she did. These things were more addictive than she remembered. Oh well, she'd just have to order more.

Celestia completely missed the flashing of the guardsman’s green eyes as he left the room, slipping a small half-emptied vial into their pocket as the door closed behind them.

The Box (Shrödinger’s)

Chapter 9: The Box (Shrödinger’s)
Discord watched on in bemusement. He’d reformed, yes. He could stop what was happening, certainly. But why would he? It was perfect! Everyone was getting what they wanted and they didn’t even know it yet. Well, except for poor little Fur Umbra over here, he’d gotten himself into quite the mess. Guess ‘lil old Discord’ll just have to help him out.

* * *

Discord watched Fur as he entered the little jewellery shop on the south side of Canterlot before deciding to make his move. He quickly teleported in and took on the form of the gentleman that worked there, making sure the real counterpart was out cold in the back first before walking out into the shop to greet his ‘customer’.

“Welc’m to Shtone’s Jew’ry shop. Wha’ can I ‘elp yuh wit’ tuday?”

“I’m just looking,” Fur replied.

“‘oos the lucky mare?”

Fur looked up, shocked. “How did you...?”

“Uh’ve bin in ‘iss buisniss a long time, sport. Uh know love when uh see it.”

“You... really think so?”

Discord nodded. “Of course, of course. It’s ritten all ov’a you; ya just can’t see it yet.”

“Well...” Fur looked around a bit nervously, “what do you have for engagement rings?”

Discord couldn’t help but grin. This pony... this damn pony was one in a million. Ain’t no other pony on Equis would do this. Those princesses have got something special alright. Wedding rings? Nope, he was still going through everything from step ‘one’. “Uh got shomethun’ yuh might like... real shpeshal.”

Discord reached under the counter and pulled out an old box with a small latch on the front. It was heavily worn away, but still in as mint condition as Discord could manage after finding it.

He was planning on giving it to someone he fell in love with (if it even was possible for him to love), but this was an exceptional case, and with everything else going on in the world, this would be the perfect opportunity to see if it actually worked.

“This box is old, and the rings wittin it are even older. Uh searched for many years for ‘is box, believin’ it to be but a myth. And now, ‘ere it is...” Discord unlatched the lid and opened the box, bowing in reverence as he did so.

Fur looked at a ring before him. It was intricately carved out of pure diamond that sparkled as if lit from within. The ring depicted dragons, ponies, nature, and many other things- all crafted into a part of the ring itself as if each was an individual sculpture that had been combined together to form the magestic ring. And upon the top of the ring, a flower bud, unopened, as if waiting for the presence of true love to blossom.

And there was two of them.

Discord closed the box. “I normally do not do ‘is for jus’ anyone...” Discord winked at fur. “But uh’ll keep your ‘ittle royal secret ‘tween the two of us, eh? ‘ont wanna tip any’on off jus’ yet.”

Discord handed over the box, allowing Fur time to notice his yellow and red eyes before teleporting out of there with a

*SNAP*

* * *

Discord watched on as things were set in motion. The two thieves were about to unleash chaos upon the world. Glorious chaos. And all Discord had to do is sit back and watch once the action gets going, but he isn’t done just yet. Time to pay a visit to an old friend.

(If you get the “thieves” meaning in both senses of the term, then have a cookie.)

* * *

Discord looked upon the depraved mindscape of Chrysalis. It was in complete tatters, fragmented every which way. Fur2 -as Discord had come to call him- didn’t even care about beings like Chrysalis. So long as they worked their purpose and didn’t fight back, he couldn’t care less what they felt. And for Chrysalis, that feeling was a demented, dull, throbbing pain consistently coming from her body as it was used to store love for the army being amassed outside her cell.

Discord approached some fragments and began collecting them. It was just like a puzzle... only with someone's entire consciousness at stake! What glorious, chaotic, fun!

3 hours later and Discord had finished the required parts of Chrysalis’ psyche. He teleported himself and what was left of Chrysalis' mind into his own chaotic dimension and pulled up a chair for them both before waking her up by tapping her on the forehead.

Startled, Chrysalis looked around her surroundings before settling on the draconequus. “What do you want, Discord?” the ex-queen asked in a raspy voice, attempting to add a growling edge to it with no avail.

Discord smirked “I’m glad you asked... you see, you’re in a bit of a horrid situation right now; you can see that, right?” Discord brought up a projection of Chrysalis’ own body, which she nearly gagged upon seeing, slowly nodding after a few moments to take it all in. “Good. Now, I can get you out of this, but I need a little something in return.”

“And what is it that you would want, Discord? Aren’t satisfied with your petty little games anymore?”

Discord chuckled. “I’ll get to that, but first, let me ask you... what would you give to be free; free of your fate, free of your bonds, free of that,” Discord pointed to the screen.

Chrysalis growled. “Alright, I’ll bite. And if I refuse?”

“Then you’ll remain trapped where you are and I’ll get one of the two-to-three hundred other queens to do it for me.” Discord brought up pictures of numerous other queens and proto-queens in the hive to prove his point.

“...Fine. You have your deal. Just, get me out of there.” Chrysalis replied, attempting to hide her deep-seated fear that she would be stuck like that forever.

“As you wish...” said Discord with a smile, knowing that this was exactly how everything would play out.

* * *

That night, Chrysalis escaped her old hive and ran away towards the distant horizon, not even realising the changes Discord had made to her mind to subtly (or not so subtly) influence her actions and decisions in the near and distant future.

Non-Cannon(?)

Chapter 10: NonCannon(?)
“No! Stop! Get back here!” Fur shouted to no avail, running around the room after his Uncle.

“Sorry, Fuzzy, but I made a promise that I would tell the story to your future family, so I gotta keep my end of the bargain!”

Fur stops on the opposite side of the couch from Chip, the two staring each other down.

“Oh yeah? Bargain THIS!” Fur shouts before lunging over the couch and missing his uncle as he sidesteps nimbly around the grab attack.

Cadance and Twilight sat on the other side of the room watching in amusement as the two messed around as if nobody was watching.

“I thought you promised me that you’d never tell that story though! What happened to that!” Fur yelled out at Uncle Chip as he jumped around the room.

“Don’t worry kid, none of this is cannon, well, except for this!” He pulls out a cannon and loads Fur into the barrel. Twilight, Cadance, and Fur’s Uncle all stand side by side in salute before Fur is launched into the horizon, crashing straight into several ships that all start sinking- too many to count here, but lets just say they won’t be canon now, or ever in this story's world.

With Fur out of the picture (and somewhere over the South Luna Sea by now), Uncle Chip sits back down with the princesses and begins his story.

“A long time ago, there was an ancient artefact of immense and immeasurable power called the Pyhrran Flute. The Flute was said to be capable of calming even the most ferocious of beasts and strongest of storms. But the Flute had a dark secret, one that caused it to be shattered into pieces and scattered across the lands- hidden in the shadowy depths of the deepest darkest dungeons and caves so that no one could ever find it. And that’s why Fur Umbra is called Fur Umbra!”

At that moment, Fur lands back onto the couch beside Uncle Chip. “If you’re gonna tell ‘em the story, tell ‘em the whole thing and just get it over with.”

“Good point.”

. . .

Fur Umbra, or “thief of the shadows” was a name derived from both Fur’s mother’s archaeological research into the dark magics of the Pyhrran Flute, and the love she felt for Fur's father. As sappy as it sounds, from the moment she first laid eyes on Fur himself, his mother claimed that her heart had been stolen by the precious child- he was the thief of her dark heart. He was Fur Umbra- thief of the shadows.

But where is the fair maiden herself? Where is the lady of Fur’s household?

Deep in the jungles south of even the most expansive maps, far below the ground in a pit too deep to reach lies the shattered pieces of the Pyhrran Flute and the bones of the one they lulled into eternal slumber; their fleeting lies having claimed more than her obsessive mind, but also her life. And there she will lay until the end of time with the accursed artefact that drove her to this madness.

. . .

“Uncle Chip, you know that’s not true.”

“Aw c’mon. Where’s your sense of drama? ‘Slipped and fell while climbing down a well’ doesn’t exactly sound as cool as ‘laying beside an ancient, cursed relic from a time long before’, now does it?”

“No, but at least its the truth.”

* * *

Meanwhile, deep in the jungle, far beyond the reach of any map, a lone explorer wanders the harsh terrain, a machete in one hand, and a tan-colored wooden stick in the other. She slashes at the undergrowth with abandon, pushing herself so that one day she may find her way home again. So that one day she may hold her son, her little thief of shadows, once more.

Author's Note

Shorter chapter than normal, but some of this lore stuff would have just seemed forced if I tried any other way that I could think of at the time.

Though, don’t expect the story of Fur’s mother to go anywhere, at least not yet. It’s just a little something that suited me so I decided to add it in.

Sorry if the whole chapter seems a bit out of place. I just felt like pulling a Steven Universe.