Derpy's Muffintastic Muffin Adventure

by BronyRants

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Adventure
Length: 1349

Derpy goes on a quest.

Derpy goes on a silly quest to find the fabled golden muffin.

Crappy art made by yours truly.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-02 15:18:12 UTC

The beggining of the muffin (chapter 1)

"So what you are trying to tell me is-" The grey mare paused to take another bight of her blueberry muffin "-is that reading is... FUN!?" Derpy Hooves asked. "Yea its totally awesome especially Daring Doo." Rainbow Dash could barely contain her excitement, simply talking about her beloved books brought butterflies to her stomach. "Wow, I guess I should check it out. But wait how do I know which ones are good?" Derpy asked with an intent look on her face. "Well, just ask Twilight, she knows EVERYTHING about books." Rainbow Dash wondered if Twilight had a book that was going to keep Derpy interested enough. Although she has an extensive collection in her library, Derpy might be difficult to find one for. "Bye Rainbow Dash, I'll see ya later!" Rainbow Dash barely had enough time to wave good-bye to her before the grey mare zoomed out the door of sugarcube corner.

Thoughts were racing so fast in Derpy's mind she couldn't keep track of all of them at once. The lack of attention she was giving to the road ahead of her was taken by the many thoughts going through her head. "What type of book will I get?" "How many books will I get?" "What will my book be about?" Derpy thought to herself. It wasn't long before she crashed into the lovely brown tree that was the town library.

"Hey Twilight, you out here?" Derpy asked inside the huge room full of books. Derpy hadn't spent much time in the library, not because she hated books, she simply just hadn't read them. She had read books when she was a filly and new good and well how to read she simply hadn't read now that she was an adult. "Yes, I'm coming right down. Oh, Hey Derpy, what brings you here?" Twilight asked with a hint of confusion. "I would like to check out a book please." Derpy said, glowing with pride. "Really, I didn't take you for a big reader. But what would you like to check out?" Twilight asked. Of all the thoughts racing through her head that day that is the one question that hadn't wiggled its way to Derpy's mind. "What will I check out?" Derpy thought for a moment, pondering that very question over and over again. "Well, how about I help you find one Derpy?" Twilight interrupted Derpy's deep thought and startling her. "Oh, OK." Derpy followed as Twilight brought her to a massive row of books ranging from titles "The Headless Horse" to "The Flower that Could" Twilight pointed her hoof to a leather bound book full of dust called "The Golden Muffin" Derpy's eyes lit up as she read the title and decided that this was the book she wanted. "I want that one please and thank you."

Derpy couldn't hold in her excitement of telling her best friend Rainbow Dash about her new book. When she finally ran into Rainbow Dash taking a nap on a cloud above the school she started yelling out of excitement. "Hold on hold on. Slow down, whats up?" Rainbow Dash couldn't keep track of the rapid fire words Derpy was spitting out, still groggy from her slumber she tried to wake herself up. "Oh, this is amazing thank you so much Rainbow Dash. I would have never done this without you thank you so much!" Derpy was going a bit slower now but still was yelling. "What, what did I do?" Rainbow Dash asked confusion filling her mind. "The book!" Derpy said. "Oh, you found a book you liked then I guess." Rainbow Dash finally came to the realization that it wasn't only a book she was excited about. "Look look look!!!" Derpy said in a rapid breath. "The Golden Muffin. OK, well why are you so excited?" Rainbow Dash simply didn't understand what Derpy was so excited about. Even she wasn't this excited about Daring Doo, there must be something else. Derpy quickly motioned Rainbow closer. "I found the map!!!" Derpy whispered excitement taking over her body. "And I want you to help me find it." The expression on Derpy's face could only be described as pure joy. Her smile stretched across her entire face and her eyes were lit up like a hearths warming tree. Rainbow Dash couldn't stand to say no.

A muffining we will go (chapter 2)

"Come on Rainbow Dash!" Derpy, who was in a full gallop by now, knew she was close to the golden muffin. "I- *pant* I'm trying but come on we have been flying non-stop for HOURS!" Rainbow Dash who was usually on the top of her game was actually sweating because she hadn't eaten that day except for the muffin with Derpy which was almost twelve hours ago. "Derpy its getting late! Don't you think our friends are worried sick!" Rainbow Dash tried to be as convincing as possible but Derpy was to determined. "Rainbow Dash, come on we HAVE to find it!" Derpy said in a whining tone. Rainbow Dash dug up all the courage she could. "Fine. Then I guess this MUFFIN in my bag will just be dropped on the floor in Ponyville." Rainbow Dash said with a somewhat happy grin on her face for being so clever. Derpy immediately turned with watery eyes. Rainbow Dash let out an irritated groan as she tossed the muffin to Derpy. "Lets just get this over with." Rainbow Dash said.

"Rainbow Dash!?" Twilight and her friends had followed the sweet scent of muffins looking for where Rainbow and Derpy had gone. "I-I don't know about this Twilight, It's r-really scary in here." Flutter Shy let out a small squeak after finishing her sentence. "Don't worry Flutter Shy. I can promise you that everything will be A-Okay." Twilight replied. Rarity piped in "Ugh, speak for yourself darling it is simply dreadful in here. I mean look at all this mud! I cannot even begin to imagine how long I will have to bathe i order to get clean. And look at all these nasty looking trees, and then there is the dirt here-" "Rarity." Twilight stopped her babbling friend with a glare and looked at Flutter Shy who was now frozen at what she saw before them. "Oh. My. Gosh." Twilight was dumbfounded by the sheer impossibility of this alone. Standing before them was an area full of muffins. "What, but how." Twilight had a million thoughts going through her at once. How is this possible. Now that she took a closer look at them she saw that they were growing like plants. No one had ever ventured out this far in the Everfree but she wondered why not. Ponies were scared but she never imagined no pony had ever ventured out.

Rainbow Dash was floating a few inches above ground horrified at what stood before her, an entire land of muffins, but that is not what horrified her. It was Derpy, she didn't know that a pony could eat that many muffins at once. "Huh, Rainbow Dash!!! your OK!" Twilight galloped towards her friend, but Rainbow was motionless.

As Derpy ate muffin after muffin her friends asked her what she was doing. "Well, after I read the book about the golden muffin, I found a map. Only problem was, I didn't know where it was. When I thought for a long time I remembered one day when I first got paid on my new mailmare job, the pay was so good I went for a bite to eat at the fancy muffin place, She` Muffin. I ate a lot, so I went out for a midnight flight. I flew really far to a place where it was sunny and full of muffins. I thought I was hallucinating so I just flew back home to rest. And on the map it tells you to start at a place where it is always sunny!" Everyone was mesmerized at Derpy's tale. "OK... Let's get a move on then." Twilight said as they all followed Derpy.