Night turnips

by Cackling Moron

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna
Length: 5585

A dull night made bearable by introduction of electronic farming.

Luna is bored out of her mind because it is the quietest of quiet nights.

Then, humming to himself, hoves into view the local human - the one her sister keeps around for...

...some reason.

Seeing an opportunity to alleviate her crushing, mind-numbing boredom if only briefly Luna grabs it with both hooves and calls him over. Useless chatter follows, and a Gameboy is involved.

Nothing of note occurs.

Published 2020-06-06 01:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-06-06 01:20:01 UTC

I traded my copy of Pokemon Silver for a copy of Harvest Moon 2 and I still kind of regret it but also don't.

Author's Note

Alright alright alright.

This serves two purposes, broadly speaking.

1) Attempting to get a handle on Luna as a character in her own right and not just as the straight man I roll out to contrast Celestia.

2) Attempting to get my brain working again because I feel like someone has hollowed out my whole body with an ice-cream scoop and writing is coming hard, and I ain't down for that.

Oh and also to give people something to read, I guess. I wouldn't think about it too hard though.

I traded my copy of Pokemon Silver for a copy of Harvest Moon 2 and I still kind of regret it but also don't.

Night court could, on occasion, be quite interesting.

Tonight was not one of those occasions.

Tonight was dull. Very, very dull. Not a single pony had come forward, not with any issues or concerns, not just to say hello, not even as a result of getting lost. Not a single one.

Luna had started the evening in something of a good mood, feeling energetic and hopeful. This had lasted perhaps an hour, then the silence had got to her, and she had slumped in her seat. Things had not improved.

She’d even seen out of the corner of her eye one of her guards clearly trying to stifle a yawn at one point which, given their nocturnal inclinations, spoke volumes as to just how dull things were being.

On and on the silence dragged and up and up the boredom mounted. It got so bad that when a mysterious, sourceless humming reached her ears Luna thought at first that she was just starting to lose her mind. It took her a few seconds to realise she wasn’t, and there was actually just very loud humming. She sat up a bit straighter, the sound drew closer.

The source of the humming resolved itself and revealed itself to be a tall, dressing-gown wearing thing padding past the open door to the hall, looking a little bit confused but otherwise fairly cheerful.

The human. Neal, she thought his name was. Celestia’s drinking buddy-stroke-hostage or whatever he was. Luna was unclear on the nature of their relationship, though he generally seemed happy enough so she tended to lean away from hostage. Typically she didn’t care either way.

Right then though, drowning in boredom as she was, she was willing to grab just about any offered opportunity for distraction. And he was one.

“Human,” she said, speaking with sufficient volume to make every guard in the room (and several beyond) jump a foot in the air. The human came to a sudden halt and wheeled around with a look that suggested he’d just been caught out.

For whatever reason Luna often found that she had that effect. Possibly a coincidence however.

“Um, yes?” Neal asked, from a distance.

“Come here,” Luna said, beckoning with a hoof.

He did so, albeit with clear reluctance and hesitation. Given the size of the hall and his distance from her this took a good few seconds, even with him hustling and even with his longer-than-most strides.

“Need something?” He asked once he’d come to a halt before her, then seeming to realise something and adding: “Oh, wait, you’re in the big chair. Should I, uh-”

He gave the most horrendous combination of a bow and a curtsey that Luna had ever seen in her life, somehow managing to isolate the worst aspects of both and perform those aspects poorly to boot. That he was doing it in a dressing gown - a fluffy one she saw, on closer inspection - just made it worse. Once he’d straightened up again she was quiet for a moment or two, mostly out of lack of anything to say, partly just so he could stew in it.

He knew what he’d done.

“You are up late.” She said, eventually.

“I am?” He asked, letting out the breath he’d been holding, silently wishing that he’d asked Celestia for some tips in brushing up on protocol prior to this point, if only to save face just at this moment.

Theirs - his and Celestia’s - was an informal and casual sort of arrangement, and that he’d been crashing on a sofa these past few weeks had rather made him forget that the sofa he was crashing on was in a big, fancy palace containing big, fancy horses who ran things and were important and which others were in the habit of bowing before and showing deference to.

Neal had never really been that big on formality, personally.

“Yes,” Luna said.

Which did not give him a whole lot to work with. He kind of waited for a little bit more. Her to tell him the time maybe, so that he’d know just how late it was that he was up for, or even just give him some sort of hint with her face as to what it was she might be thinking.

But no, nothing. Like trying to read a fucking onyx slab. Only an onyx slab didn’t typically possess the sort of piercing stare that made you think you’d done something wrong.

“Oh, well, if you say so,” he said, shifting from foot to foot.

“Difficulty in sleeping?” Luna asked. He shrugged.

“Eh, a little I guess. One of those nights.”

“I understand. And so you decided to go for a walk.”

Not a question and so not phrased as a question.

“Uh, sort of? Was going for a snack, mostly, but I got lost. This place looks different at night.”

Neal had never been that big on a sense of direction, either.

“You might have asked a guard for assistance, I am sure they would happily have directed you back to your room,” Luna said, eyes flicking to some of the guards about the room, just in case he needed a reminder on what a guard looked like. Neal looked around the room as well.

“Oh, yeah, course, but I kind of just wanted the walk. Like you said,” he said.

“Hmm,” went Luna, nodding.

And here words fizzled.

Neither of them had really much of anything to go on as regarded the other.

As previously alluded to, Luna’s impressions of the human were fairly limited. She knew that her sister had got him from somewhere, somehow, and that she mainly kept him around for japery and to share bad jokes with. He seemed harmless enough, if something of a distraction, but ultimately nothing that Luna felt she had to worry about.

Neal was there, he was broadly friendly, his shuffling about the place brought a certain level of light relief and also served to ruffle the feathers (literal and figurative) of the stuck up from time to time, which could only be a good thing.

So that was what Luna thought.

Neal, meanwhile, knew that Luna was related to his drinking buddy Celestia, was smaller, and that he hadn’t ever really spoken to her. And that was about it. The few fleeting glimpses of her he’d caught - here and there, at range, always in passing - had coupled with them never speaking and created an idea in his head that she was aloof, distant, scary and probably didn’t like him very much.

None of this was conducive to conversation, and this is why they were struggling to think of anything to say. They were also both far too polite to just call it quits and end it right there.

So the silence continued. Awkwardly. Silently. Awkwardly silently.

Luna looked him up and down. Strange creatures, humans. At least if this one was anything to go by. All oddly shaped and proportioned. Beady eyes. Quite uncanny, in a way. No matter where one’s attention settled one always felt that there was the tiniest imperfection just a bit along from where one was looking.

Unquestionably not from around here.

Something oblong and bright yellow could be seen poking out of the pocket of his dressing gown. For the life of her Luna could not immediately work out what the thing was and, still being nigh-on mad through boredom, decided she had nothing to lose by asking him about it.

“What is that?” She asked, pointing to his pocket.

Neal looked bewildered for a second then patted himself down, found the little yellow oblong and pulled it out. Seeing it fully revealed did not answer any of Luna’s questions she had about the thing. It was still a mysterious mystery with buttons on.

“Hmm? Oh, this. This is just my, uh, Gameboy,” he said sheepishly, smiling feebly.

There was just something about saying the word ‘Gameboy’ out loud - and to a magical horse princess - that made him feel oddly immature and out of place. He never used to have this problem when he was ten years old. Then again, magical horse princesses had been thinner on the ground then - perhaps, had they not been, he would have felt immature back then, too?

Or maybe it was just having to say it to Luna, who was scary?

Food for thought, for later. Not for now. Now was the time for holding up a Gameboy for inspection by a magical horse.

“What is it?” Luna asked, leaning forward from the throne and squinting. Feeling that she wouldn’t gain much just from peering at it he handed it over to her, which surprised her but only for a moment. She took it awkwardly in her hooves and started to turn it over. She even gave it a sniff but this only really told her that his dressing gown needed a wash.

Which she knew already. She’d seen him sleeping in it.

“It’s like a, uh, I’m not sure how to describe it. Plays games,” he said, scratching the back of his head as Luna continued her examination, giving intense amounts of concentration to the teeny buttons.

“Games?” She asked.

He opened his mouth to explain and immediately realised he had absolutely nothing. He didn’t have the foggiest idea where to even start. Not that it was hard, Neal knew, it was just that it was beyond him. Explaining things was not his forte, and the more he thought about this the less able he became.

“I could show you?” He offered instead.

Practical was always better anyway.

“Please do,” said Luna, curiosity piqued.

Without giving it a whole lot of thought the human stepped up onto the same level as the throne and took a knee beside it, the better to lean over the arm of the thing with the Gameboy in hand so he could show her. Luna found this refreshingly forward and, with a quiet look, dissuaded the guards from moving in - as they had been about to do just that.

The human had not noticed this, as he had been fussing with his dressing gown. It had come loose and while of course he was wearing something underneath it still paid not to take chances. Undergarments were malevolent, and rejoiced in any opportunity to cause mischief. This Neal knew from experience.

“Alright, just flicking the switch like so…” he said once everything was tied tight again, flicking the switch like so.

It beeped.

“Ooh,” said Luna, eyes widened just ever-so-slightly. “It beeped.”

“It does that.”

Luna saw tiny bits of movement on the tiny, dark face of the object and screwed her face up, leaning in close again.

“What is that? What is happening?” She asked.

“That’d be the screen. That’s where the game happens,” Neal said, hoping that this didn’t count as condescending. How did you explain a screen, exactly? Did they have screens? Had he missed that they had screens? Had she missed that they had screens? She had been out of the loop, he’d heard.

Anything was possible.

Luna was still squinting.

“How do you see anything on this miniscule device? Can you not make it larger?” She asked.

“Unfortunately not and, you know, looking back I have no idea how I used to manage. It is what it is though,” he said, there not being a whole lot he could do about it.

Not so for Luna, however.

“Hmm.”

Eyes narrowing, lips fixed in a line, she thought for a moment and then reached up with her hooves together. Her horn lit up, and she pulled her hooves apart diagonally, left to bottom left, right to top right.

And from her spreading hooves there stretched a transparent, ever-so-slightly shimmering rectangle of wafer-thin dimensions, like a sheet of glass hanging in the air in front of the screen, one which instantly made the view larger for the two of them.

It put the human in mind of Brazil, with the tiny screens with the large magnifiers attached to the front. Only with a magical hovering equivalent and hopefully less soul-crushing bureaucracy, less torture and fewer explosions. Certainly, it did make things easier to see, and seemed to follow the Gameboy perfectly.

“That is a very neat trick,” he said.

“Thank you.”

“If I ever grow a horn I’ll have to get you to show me how to do that. Now then - you can see better?”

“Yes I can see, I can see perfectly,” Luna said, settling back a touch now that she could actually see what was going on. The beeping had continued from the tiny device, though it was now melodic enough to obviously be some attempt at music.

“Glad to hear it,” the human said.

“Explain to me how this device works. How does one use it to play games,” Luna said in another of those questions phrased as statements. This left him flat-footed.

“Uh, well. You put a thing in the back - see this here? - turn it on like I did just now and then, uh, it plays them. I couldn’t tell you the actual, you know, science involved. I think it runs on electricity, that’s about as far as I can go. But uh, yeah. And you use the buttons. To play the game. Whatever the game is.”

Again, trying to explain this sort of thing out loud kind of made Neal feel like he was coming across like an idiot. Luna didn’t seem to mind though. She was honestly getting quite intrigued. Interesting little device. Her concept of games generally involved boards with counters, balls and pins, larger sporting equipment or running around in a field. This had none of those.

Were all human games like this, she wondered.

“So what game is this?” Luna asked, still pondering what sort of games humans might have wherever they were from and, closer to home, how games might have advanced in the time she’d been absent. Maybe ponies had similar devices now too, and she simply hadn’t seen one yet?

“This’d be Harvest Moon,” said the human. Which meant nothing to Luna, other than the obvious, so she decided to lighten the mood - why not?

“I can assure you that there is very little on the moon worth harvesting,” she said.

He looked at her silently for a moment or two.

“I can’t tell if you’re making a joke or not,” Neal said. It was honestly impossible to tell with her. Again, the whole ‘onyx slab’ thing.

Luna blinked at him very deliberately.

“I am.”

Only mostly, but she had still intended humour. A little levity never hurt anyone.

“Ah. Good. I liked it,” he said, relaxing.

“Most laugh at jokes they like,” Luna pointed out. She had him there and so he went:

“Ha ha ha.”

He put particular attention into the annunciation of each ‘ha’, looking her dead in the face the whole time. The hardest part was not actually laughing at doing something so stupid.

“Very good,” she said, rolling her eyes while he bit his tongue and looked away. Because he was looking away he did not see the teeny-tiny little hint of a smile that just caught the edges of her lips for a moment before her proper, regal composure reasserted itself.

“Play the game,” she said, pointing.

And so he did, starting up from where he’d last left off, and Luna watched.

Initially she didn’t have the faintest idea what it was she was looking at. Even with the screen magnified all she could see was a tiny, stylized human running around a tiny, stylized farm doing things that didn’t appear particularly in-depth. Neal was explaining what it was he was doing as he went along, of course, he just wasn’t very good at it. When she asked questions he answered them, but he wasn’t very good at that either. Tried, bless him.

Little by little though Luna started to grasp it, started to understand what was going on, even if she had yet to fully grasp the why or the ultimate goal behind it all. She supposed the why was just for the enjoyment of going through all the little motions that Neal was going through. That was often what a game was, at least for some. It was not what she had imagined, but was actually rather better. She found it quietly delightful.

Not without its flaws, of course.

“I find it highly unlikely that a single individual could perform all the tasks required to keep a farm in operation, even one as small as this,” she said, piping up after a few minutes of silent watching.

It barely qualified as a farm, really. More like a very large allotment. Neal did not seem to share her concerns.

“That’d be artistic license - the best kind of license! Such wonderful freedom, imagination. Let’s us get to the fun bits without wasting time on faff. I mean, if we got hung up on these details we’d never have any time to have fun, I say.”

Luna did not fully agree with this or even fully understand it, but didn’t see much point in pursuing the matter. He seemed happy enough, and it was just a game after all. So she just went:

“Hmm.”

And kept watching, quietly this time, her questions tailing off.

Eventually though she asked one question in particular:

“May I have a go?” She asked.

He’d been halfway expecting this to have come sooner, and having it come now so suddenly caught him off-guard. He recovered quickly though.

“Oh, sure, go nuts. Uh, actually, I’ll just - I can start it over for you, if you’d like? Start you from the beginning?” He asked, making moves to do just that.

“Thoughtful of you. Unless it is too much trouble,” Luna said, not really knowing whether it was too much trouble or not but at least understanding the basic concept of progress. He had mentioned having played this particular game for some time. Neal shrugged.

“No it’s all good, not a problem.”

He’d been getting a little tired of his own progress anyway. Back when he’d been younger he’d have been mortified at the idea, but nowadays he was free and easy. That’s growing up for you - get embarrassed saying Gameboy, stop caring about your virtual cows.

When you grow up your heart dies indeed.

So he did that, then passed it over to her.

“Thank you,” she said, getting started.

She got to grips with it remarkably quickly for someone who, until this evening, hadn’t ever encountered even the concept of a video-game (or vidcon, for the perverse) before and who also lacked thumbs. Having magic did rather make up for the latter, however. Neal was suitably impressed.

“So is this the sort of thing you and my sister do?” Luna asked, having named her dinky little human avatar and having got things started, eyes hard with concentration. Neal was watching her and found her game face quite the sight.

It wasn’t in itself inherently cute or anything like that, but the sheer level of attention she was paying to this tiny (albeit magically magnified) screen and the rustic action on it was cute. So it ended up being cute. In his mind at least.

He then remembered he’d been asked a question and snapped out of that.

“No, not really. I don’t think she’s really into games like this,” he said breezily, wafting a hand.

“What is she ‘into’, in that case?” Luna asked, sitting up straighter on the throne as she got to the business of clearing rocks and stumps. Neal scratched his chin.

“Uh, earlier I put a bucket on my head and tried to find her when she hid in a room?” He ventured.

He would have used a strip of cloth but they didn’t have one and so he’d improvised. Why there’d been a bucket lying around was anyone’s guess. Luna looked at him flatly, expecting this to turn out to be a joke. It was not a joke.

“...blind mare’s bluff?” She asked, eventually. He nodded, then chuckled.

“You know I should have guessed it’d have to be called something like that here. But, uh, yes, that, she - and me, we - are into that. And things like that. And drinking. I think she just uses me to unwind, honestly, someone she goes to to blow off steam. No thought of my feelings! I’m not a piece of meat!” He said, capping off with another chuckle.

Luna gave him a second flat look, followed by a quiet sigh.

“Quite,” she said.

Something that Neal assumed was disapproval radiated from her like a heat haze and he pouted. Really put a lot of effort into the pout, too, knowing that it’d show up in the corner of her eye.

“Hey it’s not my fault,” he said. Luna glanced at him briefly and then sighed.

“No, I suppose not. I do just worry about her on occasion, and how she chooses to spend her time. Ooh, my turnips have grown!”

Neal felt sure that the game wasn’t meant to go quite as fast as this, but then he supposed he wasn’t paying exact attention to the passage of time. Probably one of those things it’s best not to get hung up on.

Merry harvesting followed, after which Luna felt an odd sense of contentment.

“This game is quite engaging,” she said. The human could but agree.

“I always thought so. And, I don’t know, quite pleasant to have something that’s comparatively peaceful. Maybe that’s just me,” he said.

“Hmm,” Luna hummed, concentrating. Neal was watching her again.

She was very dignified, yes, but he really did have to admit that she was kind of flat-out adorable when she was concentrating. She pulled a particular face and was clearly miles away, utterly focused.

Oh magical horses. Even the scary and aloof ones could be cute. What a world! He smirked at her then shifted position, then winced.

“Ow, ow,” he went.

That got her attention, and she looked over at him properly.

“Is something the matter?” She asked.

“No, no, I’m fine. Just legs hurting a little from crouching here, it’s okay.”

It was more kneeling than crouching, in all honesty, but the point remained - his present posture wasn’t doing wonders for his legs. He shifted around but all it seemed to do was make his sudden cramping worse. He knew he should have stretched first.

“You may sit beside me, if you think you’d find it more comfortable,” Luna said, shuffling up to make a small bit of room available. He blinked and looked from the space on the seat to her.

“Uh, this is the big chair, am I allowed to do that?” He asked.

Again, he wasn’t big on formality but he could hazard a guess that only important people could sit in the big chair. It had gold on it. Important people got to sit on chairs with gold on it, in his experience, and no-one had told him he was important recently.

“No, likely not. But it is hardly as if any are here to see, and I am told this is a more relaxed era besides. Such flouting of the rules is liable to be looked upon more kindly,” Luna said. Anything went, these days. It was like the wild fucking west.

“The guards’ll see,” he pointed out, tilting his head toward the nearest one.

“Oh they’ve seen far worse,” Luna said without even an attempt at elaboration.

“...that’s terrifying. But okay, sure, why not. Always wanted to sit in the big chair anyway,” the human said, standing up with another wince, shuffling around and - somewhat inelegantly - slotting himself down beside her into the teensy space she’d allowed him.

“Comfy,” he said with a grin, but Luna just blinked at him. Slowly.

“How dare you sit beside me. How dare you sit on the Big Chair,” she said with such venom-laced, chilly iciness that he actually flinched as if struck.

“But you-” he started to protest, only to notice this time the tiny hint of a smile on her face. Once he’d picked up on it, it was obvious, and he relaxed. “Oh, oh very good. You actually got me with that one. Scared the bloody life out of me. You know you can really turn it on when you need to. Anyone told you that?”

“Not in those words, no,” Luna said, wiggling in place a little with pride and getting back to tending her nascent farm. Things were going swimmingly, much to her low-key delight.

“Well you’re one up on your sister - when she tries to fuck with me I can see it a mile off, no poker face at all. Going to have to watch myself around you,” Neal said, resting an elbow on the arm of the big chair and resting his head in his hand, yawning.

“Yes, you will,” she said, flashing the sort of predatory grin you wouldn’t expect a horse to be able to manage except without years of practise. Again, she was plainly pulling his leg but again she was so flat-out, deadpan perfect in the execution Neal couldn’t help but admire it.

“Oh dear. I’d shift away from you but you’re squashing me against the arm, so you’ll just have to imagine it,” he said, grinning a little himself, but without a hint of predator.

The big chair was big, but not quite big enough to accommodate a human and an alicorn with any particular room to spare. Luna was too busy concentrating on her turnips to really notice or care, and Neal had never been big on personal space anyway (or formality, as mentioned).

“I’ll picture you cowering so you won’t actually have to,” Luna said without looking up as Neal yawned again.

“Whatever floats your boat, love. Each to their own. I’m not going to judge your proclivities, secret’s safe with me, etcetera.”

To Neal’s utter amazement that particular bit of tiredness-induced, semi-coherent rambling actually got the tiniest sliver of a giggle out of Luna. It was momentary - passing almost as soon as he heard it - but it had been there.

Up until that point he hadn’t even considered that she’d be capable of giggling, which in retrospect was an odd thing not to have considered. Quite the nice one too, if he’d been pressed to give an answer, brief as it had been.

They went quiet for a little bit after that, Luna still playing - thoroughly engrossed now, her boredom finding something to latch onto and refusing to let go - and Neal sleepily watching her even as his eyelids started to droop.

He only noticed that he was nodding off when his dozing led him to start drifting Luna’s way and she nudged him back, causing him to snort awake again.

“Bwuh?” He asked, with dignity (and a little drool).

“You’re falling asleep,” Luna said, expert of the obvious that she was.

Another yawn from Neal, an especially big one this time,

“Oh dear, you’re quite right. Ah, sorry about that,” he said, blinking but finding his eyes not really wanting to do what he was telling them to do.

“Perhaps you should go to bed,” Luna said, again demonstrating a grasp of the straightforward most often failed to. Neal rolled his neck and screwed his eyes shut for a moment before plucking up the effort to stand.

“I think you might be onto something there, you know.”

“Should I assign you a guard to guide you back?”

“No no it’s fine, it’ll be an adventure.”

This seemed unwise, but Luna wasn’t going to question Neal’s life choices. At least not to his face, at least not right then. She had something she wanted to ask him.

“May I - may I borrow this Game Boy?”

“By all means. You should probably have these, too,” Neal said without hesitation, fishing in another pocket of his dressing gown for a handful of batteries which he set down on the big seat in the spot he’d vacated. Luna looked at them uncomprehendingly. “They, uh, they go in the back, in the hatch, I guess you’d call it? Keeps it going,” he said.

Luna levitated one of the batteries up for a closer look, giving the Gameboy a little tilt to find the hatch that he had mentioned. She was sure when the time came she’d be able to work it out.

“Do you often carry all of this around with you?” She asked and he gave his robe a pat down.

“I have more in here than you’d expect, but less than you’d hope,” he said.

“My hope would be that you did not carry anything at all.”

Filling one’s pockets with whatever random detritus happened to be lying around did not seem a particularly healthy or tidy habit to her, particularly not for something she (as said) knew he occasionally slept in. It might start with interesting little game-playing devices but she imagined it could end with, say, forgotten sandwiches.

He seemed the type to take it that far.

The human seemed appalled at the suggestion, however.

“What a horrifying thought! To be caught unprepared, brr. If that had been the case, you wouldn’t be the proud borrower of a Gameboy right now, so think on’t. These pockets have only ever been good to you,” he said, patting them.

“I suppose I cannot argue with that. This time,” Luna said.

“You’re not the first person to give up arguing with me,” Neal said.

“I don’t doubt it.”

Smiles from both at this, but then an awkward pause where nothing else was said but Neal didn’t actually go anywhere. Instead he was looking around.

“Is it, uh, is it always this quiet at night?” He asked.

“No. On occasion it can be quite busy. Tonight is simply especially quiet.”

“Ah, caught you at a bad time, did I?”

“You might say so.”

Neal nodded as though he understood.

“Maybe I’ll go for another walk tomorrow night. Maybe I’ll wander your way again, see how you’re getting on. Who knows?” He said.

“I have your Game Boy, you are now surplus to requirements,” Luna said, hovering the Gameboy up between them. Neal spread his arms.

“You know I thought you’d say that. What a fool I was. Got everything you need from me, now. Oh well! I tried!”

Another smile from Luna. They were coming more openly now, it seemed.

“You were pleasant company. I would not object to seeing you again tomorrow night, if you did decide to go for another walk, as you say,” she said.

“Ah, trying to catch me out again there, I can tell. Bit obvious that time! ‘Pleasant company’ indeed - saw right through that one! I’m getting wise to you.”

“I could order you to attend me,” she said. Rather odd thing to say, all told - rather out of nowhere - but it fit with the bit they were apparently doing, so it seemed to fit. Mainly it had kind of slipped out.

Neal frowned, sleepily.

“Do you have authority over me? I think I’m technically a guest,” he asked.

His status was, as ever, something of an open question.

“Maybe. I do have guards, however, and I imagine it wouldn’t be too difficult to get you tied into a sack and dragged here on my command. I doubt the consequences would be too severe.”

All jokes, of course. All in good fun. But played deadly serious - which was part of the joke.

“Hmm. Point. Not like I can go to the embassy or anything. Alright. Maybe I’ll come willingly. Same time?” Neal asked, shrugging in mock-defeat.

“Or sooner, if you’d prefer,” Luna said.

“Well I would hate to keep you waiting.”

“Considerate of you.”

“That’s me all over, considerate. Anyway, I’m dead on my feet here. You, uh, you enjoy tending to your turnips - you can tell me all about it tomorrow. I want lurid details. But now I’m going to - I’m going to bed. Nighty night,” he said, giving her a small, thoroughly mangled salute by way of a wave goodbye before wheeling about on his heel and shambling from the room.

“Goodnight,” Luna said to his retreating back, watching him go and watching him, on leaving, immediately head in the direction she knew was the wrong one. She shook her head and returned her attention to the screen.

She supposed she could sort of understand now why her sister kept him around.

Sort of.