My name is Anna Maus

by Gallants

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Profanity, Violence, Human, Gore, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Nurse Redheart, Original Character
Length: 9841

Dr. Maus gets thrusted into equestria and none of the ponies can pronounce her name right

My name is Anna Euclid Maus, I'm a medically discharged NEC 8427 which makes me like a super doctor, but these ponies I find myself surrounded by can't seem to be able to pronounce my name they keep calling me anon or anonymous. Well, except for Redheart she gets it right.

Published 2020-06-11 19:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-08-06 18:57:44 UTC

Prologue

I was sitting in my chair watching a rerun of House trying to ignore my leg, the rain always made it hurt, as I massaged the aching muscles there was a crack of thunder, a flash of blueish white, a pop as my t.v blew followed by darkness, my power had gone out except for my porch light; funny I thought I needed to replace the bulb. As I made my way out of my chair grabbing my cane so I could go to the breaker and get my power back on I noticed the smell of smoke and how much hotter it was in my house than normal, especially for midfall.

All of a sudden I realized I did need to replace my porch light, lightning had struck my house and ignited. MY HOUSE WAS ON MY FIRE, I remembered my training took some deep breaths and stumbled my way towards my kitchen so I could climb out of the window the kitchen was engulfed in fire, I turned around and was faced with more fire it was spreading fast I started to scream hoping someone would hear me and the fire department would have been there already to drag me out, I screamed, I prayed, I begged and I caught on fire and it didn't hurt this was wrong, if shrapnel burned and hurt than fire should hurt.

I was surrounded by a sudden tightness and a million things passing by me faster then I could focus. My body was hurled towards the ground, nausea wracking me and I wasn't able to hold onto my dinner any longer, that salmon was expensive. "So that's what apparating feels like," I said while I uneasily made my way onto my feet to look around the field I was standing in. I lived in L.A I wracked my brain trying to figure out what was going on the only two most likely explanations I came up with was I was in either heaven or hell and the infinite minority I was in a John Carter situation.

Looking around I realized I was surrounded by nothing but hills and grass. I had a long March ahead of me all of my rucking from basic was going to finally come in handy. It only took an hour of marching before I saw some columns of smoke, I doubled timed towards them.

My legs burned as I stumbled towards the group of smoke pillars I had spotted. I had thankfully located a road and started walking down it, following the path was a bit better on my leg but I really needed to sit or lay down soon but I needed water more. As I moved down the path I came across a sign telling me I was coming up to Ponyville I couldn't help but chuckle, the ways people name towns sometimes.

My strut and definitely not labored limp to the town was interrupted by my vision being filled with brown and a sudden rotation onto my left side followed by a crunching as my femur snapped, the plate holding it together twisting as I landed onto the smooth steel of my cane; shredding some of the bone. After the initial onset of nausea and chilling the pain hit me, I started screaming and crying; a voice from above caught my attention looking up I saw a large-eyed pink pony, definitely got John Cartered.

"Hi, my name's Pinkie Pie what's yours?" She was looking at me with infectious joy and a big grin on her face; when she realized I was crying her mane appeared to deflate a bit and she threw down a rope and helped me up to the edge, "Why are you crying, did you fall down that hole and get hurt?"

"Y-yeah I-I f-fell and l-landed on my cane, I t-think I b-broke my l-leg," I managed to choke out between sobs, "C-can you help me g-get to a h-hospital, Pinkie?" She perked up a bit and supported me while we made our way towards the town and hospital. And if you ever wondered it's really hard to support yourself on an animal that's about half your height.

"So what is your name?" She piped up and before I could answer she asked another question, "Oh, oh, and what's your job?"

"Well I'm a doctor, Dr. Anna E. Maus, what's your job Pinkie?" The pain had drifted away and was replaced by nausea once more.

"Oh well I'm a baker and Ponyvilles premier party pony, which reminds me," all of sudden she jumped into the air knocking me down and causing the fragments to shift more, "I NEED TO THROW YOU A WELCOME TO PONYVILLE PARTY, bye doctor," she ran off before I could ask where we were, looking around I noticed she Conveniently abandoned me at the hospital.

"Welcome to ponyville general, how can I help you today?" A mare chirped as I crawled myself through the door, she had nice white fur and a pink mane.

"I broke my femur and need to go into surgery," I stammered out, "I know there's a lot of bureaucratic stuff we're supposed to get out of the way but I'll file the paperwork out afterward, ok?" Her head shifted up before she looked over the desk and down towards me, her eyes widening, her hoof lifted a microphone to her mouth.

"Trauma team to the lobby, trauma to the lobby, we have an exotic creature with a code S72.309A Trauma to the lobby," I could see the panic in her eyes but years of experience had tempered her well for situations like this, I don't think I would've been as calm. The clipping of hooves and clanking of a gurney heading down the hall caught my attention before I could complement the nurse on her calmness as a group of ponies rushed lifted me onto the gurney and pushed me toward an operating room.

"Hello, my name is Quick Stitch now I know you must be in pain but we're going to give you a shot of ketamine to put you under so we can start your surgery," The brown stallion in front of me said, good they were going to knock me out and perform surgery on me, an exotic creature.

"NO," I yelped out eyes wide causing the doctors the back up a slightly a scared look among them, "Don't knock me out I'll be able to help with the surgery, I'm a doctor too," this seemed to calm them down, "Okay get .009 milligrams of epinephrine and 14.2 milliliters of lidocaine," several of the nurses ran off to get the medication.

It took over 8 hours to get my femur cleaned and reconstructed, it turns out magic is real here as they used several spells to reshape my plate and better adhere it to my bone. I laid in my hospital bed going over the surgery, while filing my paperwork, the doctors and nurses who operated on me were extremely accepting of me telling them how to operate on my leg, which is unique I've never met a doctor who was okay with that, especially a surgeon, those arrogant bastards. Laying there the fact I was surrounded by sapient magic-using ponies finally dawned on me. "AHHHH,"

Discharge

The nurse from the front desk had rushed into the room when I started screaming, "Is everything okay, are you hurt?" The motherly tone she took calmed me more than it should have, my screams subsided as my breathing evened.

"Yeah, I'm fine just had a moment of clarity, you know. I woke up in a field and finally realized I'm surrounded by ponies that can talk, sort of a shock," I said while looking into her eyes to get a read on her, she seemed to understand to a point, "I never got your name, I'm Dr. Anna E. Maus, what's yours?" She took a step back as I stretched my hand out for a shake, wariness crossing her features for a second.

"Nurse Redheart, a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Maus, is it okay if I call you Maus?" She said with a polite nod of her head.

I stifled a chuckle with my hand and replied, "Of course you can call me Maus, it is my maiden name, what else would you call me?" She cocked her head at the mention of my maiden name, "What do you not have family names?" I asked before she took another step back an offended look donned her features as she asked me if she looked like a noble, my confusion was immeasurable.

"Anyway's I do have a question about my paperwork, where's the insurance form?" Her pupils contracted and her muzzle scrunched, she brought a hoof up to her mouth and attempted to suppress a laugh, when she finally finished wiping away tears she told me the nice truth.

"You were caught in the nonresident safety health net, you only need health insurance if you're going to move and become a resident of Equestria, and I'll take those forms to the administrator, and see how soon we can discharge you," She told me as she looked over my forms, "Uhh, Dr. Maus where is your next of kin contact and I don't recognize your country of residence?" My heart skipped a beat, I didn't like talking about my family.

"I didn't really expect you to recognize my address, I'm pretty sure some magic sent me here anyway, as for my next of kin," I took a deep breath to steady myself, "they're all dead or don't talk to me anymore," Redheart placed a hoof on my shoulder and gave me a sympathetic look.

"I'll run these down to the administrator and I'll talk to the mayor about getting you a temporary residence while you're stuck here," When she finished her piece she took her leave walking down the hall.

It took a week before the ponies were comfortable discharging me, Redheart being the only one to check up on me, and sending me to a 'small' house, two stories, 4 bedroom, and 3 full baths not only that I was told there was a basement this place blew my old house out of the water; Redheart was even nice enough to push me to my new house giving me the opportunity for an actual chat about the differences between our worlds, she was shocked there was no magic on Earth and more shocked to learn there were only one sapient species she proceeded to tell me little bits and pieces about the griffins, yaks, buffalo, and zebras, all in all, it was a great walk I'd never been able to talk to someone like that.

When we finally reached my new house it was a sight to behold, Redheart patted me on the shoulder and told me to have a good night, I watched her leave before I pushed open the door and wheeled myself in crossing the threshold there was a flash of light and a boom following a crack filling my ears.

"CORPSMAN, WE NEED A CORPSMAN!" there was a shout I looked to my right Corporal Davis was on the ground blood covering him, his left leg was nowhere to be seen, his right hand hanging by threads as he tried to shoulder his rifle not knowing why he couldn't grip it, the weight of my vest weighing down my shoulders the metallic taste in my mouth. I looked down at the shredded meat of my thigh pieces of white visible and the blood on my hands from the hole in my stomach. My breathing quickened; all around me was death and destruction I was back in Albania h-how did end I up here, the shouting of my Gunnery Sergeant continued calling contacts to the North, West, everywhere, I looked for my rifle but couldn't find it I couldn't find my sidearm either, in my panic I didn't notice the figure approaching me as all of a sudden a pair of pink hooves were on my shoulders, I focused on them they shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be here, the house materialized around me replacing the flame illuminated trees with Pinkie who was looking at me worried. I felt the tears running down my cheeks and the quickened hitched breaths.

"I'm sorry for scaring you, we'll just all go home hopefully you'll feel better tomorrow," Pinkie said a sad look on her face as the ponies quickly left my home, "I'll see you soon Anonymous," was the last thing she said before closing my door, I remember mumbling out an ok. I sat in the wheelchair looking around the living room a banner was hung above a large cake, I turned off the light and started to quietly cry myself to sleep.

The Summer Solstice

During our postlunch walk and talk Redheart told me not to sleep as the summer sun celebration starts before dawn. So I decided to spend the day cleaning up what would have been a fun party and moving my furniture, along with orientating myself so I would be able to find the bathroom and not have to panic when the time comes. It took far less time than I had expected and without a TV I didn't have much to do while waiting for the festivities to start. I would've gone for a run but my leg made that impossible, I couldn't even do any of my old workouts. I was in the mood to cook something but I had no money, or food, I needed a job but where could I get hired.

I had spent the next few hours limping about the town trying to find a job, getting a resounding no from all of the places I applied to even if they were understaffed they always said they had too many employees. "We would hire you Ms. Anonymous, but your pants are cut and soaked with blood," the same response from every restaurant. Eventually, I had made my way to the Carousel Boutique before I could open the door a pinkish hue covered the handle, stepping to the side the door opened and a purple mare slunk out of the building with a large lizard perched upon her back. She was quick to leave the boutique I didn't say anything to her she seemed to be sneaking about for whatever reason. As I crossed the threshold I rang a bell I saw on the counter.

"Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, I am the proprietor of this establishment Rarity belle, how may I help you be chic and," her words died as she looked at me at first I thought it was because I'm a human and she's a racist, "what happened to your clothes they are horrible we must fix this at once," her eyes darted to the side, "but I do need to finish the decorations," I took a step back towards the door.

"If you need to finish something I can come back later," I said opening the door before her magic forced it shut.

"No, we will at least fix the cut in your pants," she told me using her magic to bring over a needle and thread, "Stand still and let me work," she quickly sewed my pants together, "What a strange pattern job, grey all around but splotches of rust around your knee." she said with a curious eye.

"That's because its blood from my accident and surgery," I told her causing her to recoil back a little, "It's not as bad as that time a witch turned me into a newt."

"A newt?" she incredulously asked me looking over my body with a critical eye.

"... I got better," I answered taking on a fake British accent, "right, also I don't have any money, I landed here last week and spent most of it at the hospital, so I can't pay you." she looked at me and sighed.

"Since all I did was fix your pants and you've clearly had a bad week, it is free of charge," she told me, "I mean the way you are dressed seems so much more simple than what most ponies wear." I looked down at my sweat-stained, recon emblazoned tank-top and navy blue slacks, then at the nude pony in front of me and it clicked.

"Because most of the time you wear clothes it's for social gatherings so you want to look extra good, right?" I asked while spinning my cane on the floor.

"Yes, say where do you come from?" she asked opening the door, "because I would be just delighted to walk and talk with you for a bit, Anonymous." my eye twitched.

"Actually Mrs. Rarity my name is Anna Euclid Maus, I prefer Anna or Maus-" I gently informed her my knuckles white as I tightly gripped the head of my cane, "-also I'm from L.A, California, on earth, not sure you have a place that could compare." I told her as we approached the center of town.

"I'm sorry Anna, Pinkie told me otherwise for your name-" Rarity apologized, "-and you don't think we have a place that compares to your L.A, it was that good?" she asked causing me to short.

"Oh no I hated it, traffic was horrible, I got mugged three times, and it was so dry and hot," I complained, "but that's where the only hospital that didn't require me to work trauma was-" I said holding the door open for her, "-so I moved there and started work." Rarity immediately started work on decorating the building.

"Excuse me I just need to clear something up with you," someone next to me stated, looking down I saw a slightly older beige mare, "is your name Anonymous or Anna Euclid Maus?" she asked looking over some papers.

"It's Anna Mrs..." I trailed off having not got her name.

"Oh I'm Mayor Mare, just wanted to make sure everything was right on your residency forms-" she held her hoof up as I opened my mouth to say something, "-they will be dated and turned in when you are comfortable, however, please do keep in mind you must either apply or vacate your home within 60 days." I gave her a crisp nod as she walked away.

Wow, only 60 days. I spent the next couple of hours helping Rarity with the decorations, mostly just handing her pieces of ribbon from her boxes. When the moon began to rise Pinkie had come into the town hall, "Hey there nonny, I'm throwing another welcome to Ponyville party for the new pony who came in this morning-" she said, "-do you want to come?" She asked shyly, looking a little nervous.

"Oh no, thank you, I think I'll just stay here until the celebration happens," I told her taking a seat, "anyhow, I've been on my feet all day, my leg is killing me," I explained while trying to relax, she gave me a sorrowful nod before leaving with Rarity.

As the night dragged on, I ended up taking a nap in my chair, wondering why I never did pick up my painkiller prescriptions. I woke up as the town entered the hall, waving at Redheart she approached me, "Good solstice Maus how are you feeling?" she sweetly asked; giving a grin I looked at her.

"Only like I've been walking on a broken leg, instead of driving my car, or using a bus," I complained, "At least I still have my sunny disposition." I informed her as the lights were slowly dimmed.

"Mares and gentle colts," Mayor Mare announced to the crowd, "I present to you the raiser of the sun, Princess Celestia," she stated with pride as the curtains pulled back revealing an empty balcony, "She's gone!" the mayor worriedly announced.

Getting to my feet as I saw a glittering cloud start to swirl and coalesce, a black mare forming in its stead, "Hello my loyal subjects," she said with an admittedly attractive voice, "why aren't you bowing, has Celestia not told you of my return, or have you forgotten me?" she questioned baring fangs.

"I know who you are," someone loudly called out from the crowd, I saw several gold armored ponies watching the black mare their muscles tense, "you're Nightmare Moon," the purple mare from the boutique announced.

Nightmare Moon let out a laugh as she was recognized her eyes closing as she brought her hoof to her barrel, the armored ponies shot into action spreading their wings and shooting towards her, her eyes shot open and her horn ignited, lightning flying from it striking the soldiers forcing them to the floor, unconscious. "FOOLS!" She spit out before turning into the cloud once more and flying out the door.

I ran over to the closest unconscious pony quickly feeling for a pulse, "REDHEART!" I yelled out, "GET OVER HERE!" finding the ponies pulse I felt for Redhearts getting a sense of a normal rhythm for them, "I don't feel an arrhythmia," I said moving to the next pony, "strip him," I commanded Redheart pointing at the stallion I finished checking, "her pulse feels good as well," I said undoing the straps of the armor, "ONE YOU PONIES GET ME A CART SO WE CAN TRANSPORT!" I screamed out.

Rolling my mare over and looking for any lacerations, I felt a tap on my shoulder, looking over I saw a red stallion, "Ms. Anonymous, I got a cart I'll hook up to it and you just tell me when everypony's loaded up," he told me pulling the third pony out, I looked over and saw Redheart doing the same with the stallion. Hooking the mare under her forelegs I started to drag her, she was surprisingly light, I grit my teeth as my leg protested.

With Redhearts' help I heaved the mare into the cart, "I'll run ahead and get trauma ready," she told me, before running down the road.

"Alright we're good-," I told the stallion as got the ponies straight on the cart's floor, "-get us to the trauma center," I called out before my breath stopped as the mare's chest stopped rising. Feeling for her pulse I lowered my head listening for her breaths, getting neither, I threw my legs over and squeezed my thighs tightly around her. "Go fast, really fast." I told him, with a neigh he started to sprint.

Placing my hands on her barrel I started trying to perform CPR, getting a few inches deep, and hearing the separation of cartilage gave me hope I was doing it properly. It felt like forever before we reached the hospital, a team of doctors pulled the other two soldiers onto gurneys, I was still on top of the mare when we were lifted by magic onto one of the gurneys, "You're drenched, you need to trade-off," a Pegasus called out hovering next to me, giving a nod I rolled off the side hitting the floor as he took over.

"Hey, you good?" Redheart asked, I gave a nod as I wheezed.

Royal Meet & Study

Redheart helped me onto a chair as I gripped my burning leg, I let out a yelp of pain as I sat down, "I'll go get you something for the pain." she told me.

"No, please don't, I've seen enough marines lose a lot more than careers over addiction," I told her while grabbing her rear leg, "I can handle it, I've had worse, so please don't get me anything for the pain." I begged her, tears pulling at the corner of my eyes, she placed a hoof on my shoulder and climbed into an adjacent chair.

"Alright, will a friend by your side at least help ease the pain?" she asked putting a foreleg over my shoulder and pulling me in. I didn't answer I just leaned into her withers and closed my eyes, the adrenaline coursing through my veins finally started to filter out, forcing me to sleep.

I was stirred by Redheart jumping off the chair causing me to start falling, "Redheart what the hell?" I groggily asked rubbing my eyes, blinking I saw her bowing, I scanned the tall pony that was in front of us with a golden tiara and shoes, "I'd bow-" I said yawning, "-but my leg still hurts." I told her and received a scowl from one of her soldiers.

"Well, seeing as you saved the life of one of my guards I suppose we can overlook this," she affably told me while motioning for Redheary to stand up. "I am Princess Celestia and I'm told you are Dr. Anonymous, do you work at Ponyville General?" she asked watching as I stretched and started to stand up.

"No, I don't think I have the training to work on ponies," I told her, "I mostly work on humans and anything that isn't magical, except for that one bee." I said with a chuckle giving her a shallow curtsy.

"Well, why don't you work here?" she questioned, "you clearly know what you're doing," she told me flaring her wings and stamping her hoof.

"I would need to study first and get relicensed and I can't afford that since I don't have a job," I told her straightening my back and reaching for my cane, "Pretty sure I can't get a loan either; Oh, shit, my fucking cane, I left it at town hall." I complained sitting back down, Celestia had one of her unicorn soldiers float it over.

"We grabbed it from Pinkie Pie who mentioned you must've left it after the whole fiasco and was very worried said you had broken your leg recently," she said far calmer and more jovial than I would have been if a sexy-sounding woman had just taken over a celebration and nearly killed three soldiers, "Now, if you want in two months you can challenge licensing exam and practicals, I'm sure somepony here would be willing to let you borrow a few textbooks." she told me, and with a nod of her head she left.

"Redheart you got my back for a textbook or two, and a little heads up on the test right?" I asked she gave me a wide smile and wrapped a leg around me.

"You know it, buddy, follow me back to my place," she told me giving me a wink before strutting out the doors, chuckling I followed her. Redheart didn't live too far from the hospital, "I live so close since I usually take extra shifts," she told me opening the door and leading me to her room and grabbing a book off of one of her shelves, "And here is the general anatomy guide for ponies," she told me grabbing two more and handing them over, "and griffons, then dragons," she said before leading me to the living room, "Let's get studying, I got the whole week off so we can get you prepared!" she exclaimed and study we did.

I spent the weekends at Redhearts for the next couple of weekends and doing odd jobs for the ponies in the market for some food while I prepared for the exams. I also told Mayor Mare to put my citizenship application in. Thankfully pony organs were mainly in the same spot maybe an inch off or so, but mostly the same so diagnosis won't be too much of a problem outside of magic illness, I even stopped by the hospital a few times to talk about the trauma teams on-field diagnosis.

The day finally came for my exam Redheart took the day off to accompany me to Canterlot, my leg bounced as I sat on the train's bench, "Nervous?" she asked handing me a cup of cocoa.

"W-why would I be nervous, I only had a two m-month crash course on alien physiology and psychology before challenging an l-licensing exam," I stammered out before taking a deep breath and bringing my legs up to my chest, sipping on the cocoa, fuck I missed coffee.

"Don't be nervous, you did great while studying. I think you've got this in the bag," she told me wrapping a leg around my shoulder, "I'll pick you up after the tests, I have to visit my cousin," she said with a roll of her eyes, "but he did invite us to dinner so there's that," she said. I let out a breath I wasn't sure if I was holding and let my legs back to the floor.

"Thanks, Snow," I mumbled, having imposed my nickname from basic on her, "that actually helped, for some reason." I chuckled out while leaning against her.

"You know, why did they call you Snow White at basic training?" she asked giggling.

"I was white, I mean like scarily pale, and my family was a little rich," I told her, "and Snow White was a pale princess." I said as the train slowed to a stop. We quickly made our way to the university, well as quickly as a cripple can. Giving a wave to Redheart I took a deep breath and entered the classroom, handing over my bag to the proctor I sat down and waited for the rest of the students to arrive so we could take the test.

Redheart walked up to the university adjusting her dress, only to see a dejected Maus leaving, "How do you think you did?" she nervously asked.

Anna looked up and gave out a sigh, "There's no way I passed, I was completely FUBAR during that," stamping her cane into the floor, "Well, I did fine during the practicals, but the written exam, I just blacked out and turned something in, there's no way I'm getting my license." she complained.

"Well then let's just go get dinner then, and you were dressed nice for the exam, so you don't need to change, just put on a tie." Redheart said; leading Anna down the road.

Dinner & Results

Author's Note

I will be making some changes to the direction of my story, I felt the joke that this came from was only funny in small doses.

Dinner & Results

I looked up at the imposing restaurant, "Your cousin is buying right?" I nervously asked fixing the knot on my tie.

"Yeah, he's the rich one," she scoffed, "and a pompous one at that, but he treats family well, and best part doesn't care what you are as long as you are honorable." she told me holding the door open.

"Thank you, Snow," I stated, "and, at least he treats you better than my brother did me." I told her holding it for her with my cane. Chuckling she walked past me and to the podium.

"Hi, we're with the Blueblood party," she told the mare who nodded and led us to a table towards the back, a white stallion in one of those ponies' partial suits sat there, slicked-back blond mane, and laughing with another stallion before he noticed us.

"Redheart, you and you're..." he paused as he looked at me, "friend are early, I hope your exam went well." he said to me as we took our seats.

"When I served I was always told showing up when you're 30 minutes early you're on time and on time means you're late." I told him an inquisitive look came over his face.

"Oh where did you serve?" he asked leaning forward in his chair hooves on the table.

"I served in the U.S navy as a SARC," I told him; a quizzical look came over his face, "A SARC is a special forces field medic, I was also trained in veterinary medicine, family medicine, swim and diving medicine, and then subspecialized in pediatrics and pathology," I told him with a smile, "Of course, I didn't serve as long as I'd have liked shrapnel and shearing of the femur can get you discharged, especially since my contract was coming to an end anyway, at least I kept my benefits." I explained with a chuckle.

"Wonderful and I understand the feeling of being not serving as long as you'd like," he said a hoof reaching his head a slight grimace shooting across his face, "I was in the expeditionary corps and during a cross-training exercise a branch hit me fractured the base of my horn-" I flinched when he said that, I remember reading about the issues involved in that, "-and a little brain bleeding, got me discharged, and left me with social issues and impulse control, thankfully nothing dangerous, but I fail to think at times," he said with a sigh, "It has caused problems." he was forlorn.

"I understand that, I've seen it happen with a few marines, mostly retired ones not usually head injuries though," I said, "it's usually PTSS, which is post-traumatic stress syndrome, it can get nasty, usually doesn't, but it can," my breathing came out rough as I took a drink, "sometimes I'm scared I have it, nightmares are a symptom and I have those, lot's of em," I gave out a sigh looking up I saw a waiter approach as he quickly asked me for my order, "I'd like the mushroom risotto, and maybe a bottle of the house wine for the table?" I asked getting a resounding yes from the two ponies at the table. The others made their orders and the waiter walked off, as an awkward silence came over the table.

"So I tried to suggest a place that would allow you to get some meat in your diet, having seen your teeth and all." Redheart said trying to break the silence.

"Oh don't you worry about me I can last a little longer before the b12 deficiency kicks in, and if I need to I'll hunt or fish for it," I told her, trying to gauge Blueblood's reaction to me being omnivorous. As the wine was served, I could tell he didn't seem to mind, "Me being omnivorous isn't an offense to pony culture or high culture is it?" I asked making sure I wouldn't have to hide stuff between friendly visits.

"Not usually especially for me," he told me, "I served with a few omnivores and they were normally nice," he said while raising his glass, "well I didn't appreciate the jokes that I was the emergency rations when we got stuck in a blizzard." he chuckled out. The rest of dinner went smoothly, I could certainly see the issues Blueblood was talking about.

The next few weeks were nerve-wracking as I waited for my letter from the academy. When my door knocked I went as fast as I could and opened the door, "Good morning Ditzy, anything for me from Canterlot?" I cheerily asked and she gave me a nod pulling out the letter and handing it to me, taking a deep breath I gave her a wave as she left and made my way to the hospital. Seeing Redheart at the front desk I walked over, "It came in, I haven't opened it yet," I told her giddily.

"Quik Wrap mind covering for me for a few minutes?" she asked a nurse walking by, he gave a nod and she led me to a break room, "Well don't keep me in suspense open it," she commanded, calming my shaking I broke the wax seal and I couldn't read the contents, I handed it over to Redheart. Taking it in her hooves she scanned the paper as I sat there starting to breathe harder, "You passed, nearly aced it!" she announced giggling handing over the paper and pointing at my results.

First Shift

I opened the door to the exam room a brown stallion sat on the table, a visible hourglass as his cutie mark, "Hello Mr. Turner, I'm Dr. Maus and I will be examining you today unless you'd like a different physician," I said opening the sheet the nurse had given me when I entered the clinic.

"Oh no I don't want to be a bother, Ditzy made me come here anyhow, I don't think peeing 19 times a day is that big of a deal," I looked up as he said that.

"And how long have you been urinating 19 times a day?" I asked him grabbing a pair of gloves, not a perfect fit, but griffon gloves worked just fine, putting my inkpot down I dipped my quill in and prepared to get more information.

"Oh every day for just over a month," he said, causing me to drop my quill to the floor.

"Alright stand up, turn around, and flag your tail please, I need to check your prostate," I told him while checking him over I didn't notice any strange swelling, "Alright, I don't feel anything strange, I'm going to order some tests to be done and get a specialist involved so wait here for them to arrive while I see another patient," I said putting my gloves in the trash and stepping out of the room, "Nurse Wrap page Urology for a consult in exam room three please," I asked the nurse getting a curt response, wishing Redheart was working today, before the putting my folder down and picking up another and headed to exam room four.

I opened the door and was yelled at by a very red mare, "THERE YOU ARE MY LITTLE GIRL IS SICK AND NEEDS HELP RIGHT NOW!" I looked over the shoulder of the mare to see a filly looking not too hot, but not horrible, "Well what are you waiting for cure her," she demanded me.

I took a seat next to the filly and immediately took note of some yellowing around the edges of her eyes, "I'm Dr. Maus, now I know you don't feel good, but that means your body is fighting-," I started to say placing the back of my hand against her forehead shaking my hand a little I frowned, "-you're a little warm, open your mouth and say ahh," I told her she quickly opened her mouth shining in a light I looked her over, "I'm seeing some swelling, that's a good sign means your immune system is working hard," I said walking to my counter and grabbing a swab and a thermometer, "Now I'm going to take a swab and send it over to pathology so we know exactly what's wrong and we can treat you, so keep that mouth open," I told her swabbing around her throat while using the thermometer.

Looking down at her temperature, "Well, that's not good," I said standing up and going to the internal phone system, "I need a sepsis team and cooling packs to exam room four stat." I calmly called out into the electric void.

"Cooling packs and sepsis, what do you need those for?" the mares mother asked poking me with her hoof.

"Ma'am, how long has your daughter been sick?" I questioned dodging her request.

"A few weeks, why?" she not so nicely shot back.

"I have reason to believe she has entered a state of sepsis while trying to fight off an infection, we need to get her fever down and have a team of specialists, who are trained for exactly this kind of issue, help her make a proper recovery, she does need to be admitted as her life is in danger without the proper intervention," I explained, her muzzle scrunched.

"I see this is some lie to get me to squeeze out extra bits, my priest warned me about you non-ponies and your unscrupulous and unethical words and business," she spit out poking me some more, "we're going home and she will be healed by harmony itself." she said with the conviction of a pope.

"It's your fillies life and you are free to refuse treatment," I told her stepping to the side while finishing off some notes for the response team, "go on, just don't come crying to me if something goes wrong." she hesitated before taking a seat next to her daughter, and the sepsis team showed up not to long after. Handing over my notes to the team lead I stepped out and walked over to the nurse's desk, "A consult and an ICU transfer," I told him leaning my cane on the side, "how exciting for my first day." I said with a sigh.

"What kind of a doctor were you?" He asked with a raised brow.

"I was a combat medic before transferring to family medicine," I said chuckling before looking at the door to see Redheart soaked and panting, "Hey Snow, aren't you off today?" I asked as she focused on me.

"Anna, we need you in trauma there was an accident and we can't treat it and the new ER team isn't experienced enough and I'm not trained for this." she panted out, grabbing my cane I followed her down the hall. It was a mess one of the doctors was puking in the corner, another was just holding the guts from the screaming disemboweled griffon shaking not looking at anything.

"DEAR GOD, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, GET ME ANY PAINKILLER, FUCK TIGER BALM WOULD BE BETTER THAN WHAT YOU PANICKING IDIOTS ARE DOING!" I yelled grabbing a pair of gloves and performing a look over, "His fucking ribs are broken, his hip is dislocated. It is amazing how I don't need to put my hands on him considering how fucked this poor guy is," I complained, "How the fuck are you conscious?" I questioned the bird, "GET ME SOME DIAZEPAM!" I demanded from the puking doctor, he looked at me with thankful eyes and ran out, "AND SOMEONE PREP MY GODDAMN THEATER, BEFORE I PUT ONE OF YOU IN IT!"

I worked on slowing the bleeding, "Fuck this is just like Bahrain," I muttered remembering running the field hospital, the screams from Bahrain echoed down the halls reaching me, as I swallowed I searched through the loose organs hoping that they weren't punctured. Redheart unlocked the gurney snapping me out of my stupor.

"OR 1 is prepped," she stated pushing the diazepam; putting the griffon into a deep sleep as she started to push him, "Run ahead and scrub in," she told me, with a nod I ran to the operating theatre and preparing my scrubs started and scrubbing in. The surgery lasted till the end of my shift, somehow we pulled through and got him stable, "That was intense seeing your work was amazing... and the administrator would like to have a word with you," Redheart told me.

"THE WAY YOU SPOKE TO YOUR COLLEAGUES-" the administrator screamed at me, "-WAS COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE!" she stepped around her desk as I stood still in parade rest, "YOU CAN'T INSULT, THREATEN, AND SCREAM AT THEM!" her breath slowed down, "How did me yelling at you feel?" she asked full of compassion.

"To be frank Ms. Form, it felt amazing-" she took a step back, "felt like I was back in the Navy," I said sighing, "and I am so sorry, the situation reminded me of a field hospital I was running in an active combat zone, it was tough and caused emotions to run high," I explained, "When I dealt with the severe traumas and mass casualties which suddenly arrived on our doorsteps, I found yelling was the best way to get my team to focus and threats helped motivate them," I told her, "I know it's not acceptable in this hospital now and I don't want to mess this up, I would like to apologize to the ponies who were on my team," I continued, "and also if you will allow me, run some drills and do some training to get your new ER team prepped for events like these." she gave me a wide smile.

"That would be wonderful-" she told me cheerfully, "-but I'd like to say this, you are on thin ice," she warned me.

Resident

I stepped into the trauma room and looked at the team I had last night, "First things first, I apologize for the way I acted during our shift," I told them getting off looks from the trauma team, "I use to run field hospitals in war zones," I told them, "and the amount of trauma to the griffon caused some flashbacks, in the hospital I used to run, and the hospital I worked in post-discharge yelling in the trauma bay in those situations was normal and encouraged," I said taking a deep breath, "I now understand that my actions were wrong and unacceptable." I explained to them noticing a new mare, a pair of leathery wings on her back, clearly frustrated as she looked between the stallions in the room.

"I'm not sure I can work with you." one of the ponies said, the one who puked.

"I don't expect you to work with me, I expect you to learn from me so you don't have to work with me," I said walking forward, "I have more relevant experience with severe trauma than most ponies I have met, I have performed surgery in the dirtiest field hospitals, I have dragged men from the brink of death to running and playing with their children," I told them, "and I fucking hate trauma medicine, it's why I'm not trying to take care of another one of your traumas, by the time I'm done with you, you're going to be able to handle treating patients while people are trying to kill you," my voice wavered, "and by god do I hope you never have to." I told them.

They were very perky when they noticed how much nicer I was during training, "Thanks for the pointer on clamping, Anonymous." one of the doctors said as I gave him a thumbs up after he 'stopped' the 'bleed' on our dummy.

"It's Anna, Maus, or Euclid, if you're feeling spicy," I told him, "Now everyone what is gauze used for when it's brought with a trauma patient?" I asked, one of the stallions piping up first after the mare raised her hoof.

"A snack for the vampire," he said laughing getting an uproar from the rest of the team, the mare blushed and lowered her hoof covering her face with her wings.

"The mare in the back who has been quiet my entire class," I called out, "What is gauze used for when a victim enters our trauma bay with it already applied or in a bag with him?" I asked her walking forward.

"To gauge blood loss, and adjust treatment appropriately, it also doesn't have to be gauze it just has to be any absorbent material," she shyly said a thick accent coming through, "I'm doctor Leech, a recent transfer from Batsylvania, don't let the name fool you, bat ponies are the minority there." she told me

"Very nice to meet you, Dr. Leech, and you are correct we use any blood soaked material to measure blood loss, extra points for pointing out that it can be any absorbent material to treat bleeds if you don't have access to gauze in the field," I said before slamming my cane on a table, "Also, there's is nothing wrong with playful teasing if it doesn't make your collogues uncomfortable or affects their self esteem." I stated raising my voice as I looked over the collected group of doctors.

They gulped as one of them stepped forward, "I'm sorry Dr. Leech, for calling you a vampire because of the fangs and the bat wings, it was inappropriate and unprofessional." he said letting out a sigh.

Dr. Leech gave a sheepish smile, "Thank you for the apology." she said before the stallion burst out laughing, causing the bat pony to flinch, the others joining him.

"You actually bought that?" he asked wiping tears from his eyes as I chuckled lightly, before shoving him against the wall, smacking his horn when he tried to ignite it.

"You think last night was an empty threat, I will put you in a theatre," I growled out before hearing a mare clear her throat, turning my head I saw the administrator and if looks could kill, "Administrator File." I cordially greeted tossing the stallion to the side and adjusting my tie as he crawled away.

"I believe I told you last night, that you were on thin ice," she said through gritted teeth before putting on a smile, "So you better have a very good reason for this behavior," she told me in a sweet tone that sent a shiver down my spine, "Come with me." she ordered walking out of the trauma bay I followed with some hesitation after grabbing my cane.

"Administrator," I nervously started, "this doesn't really excuse my behavior," I told her swallowing, "but they were bullying the young bat pony mare because of how she looked, and then offered a fake apology," I sighed, "I'll go clear out my locker." I told her heading down the hall.

"Anna stop," she called out, "you're under a lot of stress right now and you told me during the hiring process that you didn't want to work in the E.R," she sighed when I reached her, "I'll overlook this, for a favor," I smiled, at first, "I want you take Dr. Leech under your metaphorical wings, she's just a first year resident, and work in the E.R some nights." begrudgingly I nodded, she turned and walked back to the trauma bay.

"Dr. Leech, follow me please," she called out walking back over to me with the bat pony close behind, "I'm reassigning you to work with Dr. Maus in the clinic-" Leech pursed her lips, "Dr. Maus did however agree to work the E.R some nights, I think you'll learn a lot of great things from her." Administrator File said before walking down the hall.

"Dr. Maus, I'm ready to learn whatever you have to teach me," she said grabbing a paper towel and dabbing her puffy eyes, "but I have to ask are you a good doctor?" her wings nervously twitched with her question.

"Well yes I am a good trauma doctor, but an even better family medicine doctor," I said motioning her to follow me; pushing open a door with my cane I turned around to speak to her directly, "under my tutelage you will learn more than just emergency and family medicine, you will learn to survive and manipulate your colleagues," I told her getting a curious tilt of her head, "rule 1 always be polite to the nurses, they are the key to your career and will often bring you snacks if your nice," I explained, "they also have all of the hot goss, rule 2 is don't be afraid to ask for help or look through a manuscript for information it's better to look clueless than mistreat a patient." Entering the clinic, she looked around before tapping me as I grabbed the offered patient file.

"So, if I don't know what is happening I should get a specialist in?" she asked me following me to the exam room.

"Not necessarily, sometimes you just need a consult from a doctor with more experience," I told her opening the door, "So for example, if another human were to walk through those doors you would get a consult from me instead of treating something you have no knowledge of," I explained, "Good Morning Mrs Sparkle," I cheerily greeted looking at the lilac mare sitting on the exam room table, "I'm Dr. Maus, and this is my first year protégé Dr. Leech, recent transfer Batsylvania," I introduced us.

"Good morning doctors." Twilight said squinting her eyes as she looked at us rubbing her hooves against her temples.

"Okay, now since Dr. Leech is fresh out medical school you don't mind if I do a differential so she can learn some diagnostic skills do you and also letting her do most of the exam?" I asked getting a shake of the mares head a light groan coming from her, "Now what seems to be the problem?" I questioned pulling up her chart and reading it.

"I've been having migraines for a few months now, at first they were just here and there bit they've become a lot more frequent." she whined I hummed seeing the chart matched her statement.

I glanced over to Leech and made a motion with my hand, realizing what I wanted from her, she stepped up to the exam table and began her inquiry, "Okay, and I'd like to help with that, so I need you to be honest with me," Leech told her, "do you smoke?" A quick shake of the head from Twilight confirmednmy suspicions, "Alright, drink alcohol and if so how much," I watched Twilight groan while trying to think.

"I do but not often and I don't go benders when I do," she said laying down.

"Alright, sexually active or any recreational drug use?" A quiet no escaped Twilights lips, Leech looked over to me, and I pointed to my forehead, "Right, right, please sit up and open your eyes for me Mrs Sparkle," she requested, Twilight slowly pushed her self up and opened her eyes, Leech didn't even use her penlight. Twilights pupils were fully dilated and she had subconjunctival hemorrhaging, "Dr. Maus I think I need that consult from you." Leech squeeked out.

Limping over to the counter, opening the drawer I gripped the mana voltage tester (M.V.T) and approached Twilight, "Okay, Dr. Leech it appears we have a case of severe extended mana exhaustion," I told her and cutting the young mare off before she could talk, "while true such a case would normally present with wildly more severe symptoms, in the rarest and most deadly cases it presents with symptoms similar to this," I explained holding up the M.V.T I didn't need to instruct Twilight she ignited her horn and gripped the device causing arcs of electricity to run down the rod before lightning shot from it and struck the light fixture while cracking the rod and mushrooming the tip, "Alright." I dryly said swallowing air.

"I barely squeezed it, I'm so sorry," Twilight said as light from the hall entered the room, "I-I don't know what happened." I saw Leech shakily leaving the room as Redheart peeked her head around the corner.

"It would actually appear that you are suffering from increased flow of mana and your body's reserve is unable to keep up," I wasn't sure why I couldn't really focus on anything else other than the diagnosis or why I was still holding the M.V.T, "I'm going to prescribe you a mana inhibitor and then you get your reserve tested in a month to see if you need to continue medication, I'll have Dr. Leech give you the details," I dully said as we walked out Twilight rambling an apology as I looked at my hand, seeing my skin fused to the device, "Oh, it would appear I need a doctor." I said before passing out.

My name is Anna

I woke up sprawled across the floor, a throbbing pain in my leg causing me to struggle to my feet shifting my hair out of my eyes, I was able to get a better look around my house, the banner above the cake simply said, 'WELCOME TO PONYVILLE ANONYMOUS' Pinkie must not have heard me right when she helped me to the hospital, that's fine. Looking around more I saw my cane propped against the wall. After half dragging half limping my way to my cane, I grimaced at the cut leg of my pants but decided to explore the town anyhow.

The ponies were nice giving me friendly waves as I moved down the street taking in all of the sights, I saw Dr. Quick Stitch giving him a wave he noticed me and waved back, "Good morning Dr. Anonymous," I stopped waving as I got closer to him.

"My name is Anna," I told him when I got close enough, he looked me up and down smiled and shook his head and let out a chuckle.

"I see we didn't give you enough mental stimulation, forgot your own name," he let out a sigh, "well have a good day anonymous," he said before trotting away, I just stood there trying to figure out what just happened when I felt a tap on the hand.

"Anna are you ok, I heard you started to cry last night at Pinkies party?" I looked down to see Redheart, I felt a smile creep onto my face.

"Yeah, I'm fine it's just that, Quick Stitch called me Anonymous and then said I forgot my name from a lack of mental stimulation," I rubbed the bridge of my nose before looking back at her, "You wouldn't happen to know anything about it would you?" Redheart looked at me curiously, before she sighed while dropping to her haunches and rubbing her temples.

"If Pinkie heard your name wrong she might not correct herself and ponies can be a bit stubborn, if the entire town heard your name was Anonymous, your name is Anonymous now to them," She stood up and started to walk away before turning around again, "Oh yeah, I was looking for you I was wondering if you wanted to get breakfast or an early lunch so I could help you with acclimating to Equestria maybe help you find a job," She smiled and continued to walk down the street, I followed eagerly, maybe I could find some fish.

We walked only for a few minutes in relative silence only being broken to learn about the various businesses. We eventually stopped at a little café where we quickly got a table and menus. Sadly the cafe didn't have any fish, but the salad was really good, far better than what I got in the hospital. Redheart spent the time teaching me about the basics of how the weather was managed and pieces of the bureaucratic side of medicine. The worst part of the whole ordeal was everyone calling me Anonymous, they wouldn't stand to be corrected. My angered thoughts were disturbed by Redheart giving me some important cultural information.

"Before I forget tomorrow is the first summer sun celebration held in ponyville," she looked me up and down, "I understand if you're too uncomfortable coming to the celebrat-," I cut her off I might have been a little uncomfortable but it was a good opportunity to learn the culture.

"I'd love to go after all if I want to fit in I should get involved in the local festivities," I gave her a wink before adding, "how else am I supposed to invade," We both started to laugh before devolving into talks about the weather.