FemmeFiction

Chapters

From Femme to Stern
Brain Femme
Murder and Mayfemme
Femme de la Femme
Some Femmeblance of Normalcy
Femmeocracy
Femmeical Warfare
Femmeterlude
FEMME Sleep
Femme Is Truly Outrageous
Hidden Femme

From Femme to Stern

"So... you're jealous of Fluttershy, but you don't want to tell her?"

"Oh, Applejack!" Rarity yanked a spool of thread off the shelf, probably not even paying any attention to what she was doing. "How can you say it so bluntly? This is a terrible situation!" And, sure enough, she dropped the spool and began shuffling through the overstuffed shelves again. "Terrible and huge and... terribly hugely terrible!"

"I'm saying it bluntly for a reason," Applejack pointed out. "'Cause ain't this exactly the same as a friendship lesson you learned a real long time ago?"

"...Oh. Is it?"

"Yup. It actually might have been the first one you learned after Twilight came to town."

"Was it the fashion show debacle?"

"I don't even remember, it had something to do with fashion, I think. But the point is..." She stepped closer to Rarity, firm but warm. "...the lesson you learned was to be honest with your friends."

Rarity paused, frowning. "An honesty lesson."

"Yup."

For a second, it seemed like that was it, but Rarity suddenly spun around and began levitating cloths all over the place. "But this is different!! I don't trust myself to be honest right now! I'm being completely unreasonable, and who knows what I'll end up saying if I try to talk to Fluttershy about it."

"You ain't any more unreasonable than you are on any typical Tuesday," Applejack said, barely managing not to roll her eyes.

"Oh, you have no idea!" Rarity wailed. She flung herself at Applejack's feet. "Darling, I have made terrible, terrible choices in my personal life because of this. Humiliating, degrading things! I'm completely out of control!"

"Uh." Applejack carefully paused before speaking. "If you're in trouble, I'm gonna have to put my hoof down and insist you tell me about it."

"Oh, darling, if I tell you, you have to promise you won't breathe a word of this to another soul!"

Applejack grimaced. "Sugarcube, I ain't liking this. If I gotta..."

"Promise meeeeeeeeee!" Rarity squeaked pathetically.

"Agh, fine! I promise! Cross my flies and hope for cupcakes, or whatever it is!"

Rarity lay before her, embarrassment and shame on her face. She sniffled for a few moments. "I. A few nights ago." She covered her face with her hooves. "...I took Trixie home!"

Applejack did not respond. Rarity looked up, whimpering. "Well? Aren't you going to judge me?"

"Wait." Applejack blinked. "That's it? You were done?"

Rarity gawked. "Perhaps you don't understand what I mean! I'm saying I found Trixie and took her home and..."

"Gah, no, I get it! I don't need any details!" Applejack waved her hoofs around and shook her head quickly. "I just don't get what the big deal is."

"It was Trixie!" Rarity stressed, looking flabbergasted. "Trixie! And just to... to be some sort of distraction! Ohhh, how could I sink so lowwww!" Rarity flung various cloth fragments into the air and they fell down, draping over her like tiny blankets.

Applejack took a deep breath. "Sugarcube, I'm gonna need you to do me a favor," she declared. "Wait for me while I head into the kitchen for a minute. I have to... uh. Do. Something."

Rarity only weakly mumbled a response, and Applejack took that as confirmation. She turned and walked quickly into the kitchen, frantically looking for the nearest electric appliance. She found a coffee grinder and switched it on; as soon as the whirring filled the room, she let out the laughter she had been holding in.

When it was out of her system, she switched the grinder off and went back into the other room. Rarity was glaring at her.

"Aw, shucks," Applejack muttered. "You heard me, huh?"

"I can't believe you!" Rarity snapped. "I know I'd be a laughingstock if anypony knew. But to be laughed at by one of my dearest friends..."

"Rarity, wait, hold on! I ain't laughing because of what you did, I was laughing because you made me think it was some nightmare and then it just turned out to be... this."

"Oh, don't try to spare my feelings!" Rarity moaned.

Applejack did roll her eyes that time. "Sugarcube, if I was trying to spare your feelings, I wouldn't tell you that you're being a total dumbbell right now."

Rarity gasped. "A... dumbbell?"

"A dumbbell!" Applejack confirmed. "No one cares if you hooked up with Trixie. She's... well, I wouldn't call her a good pony, but she ain't a bad one, either. She ain't the type to string you along or tell you a bunch of lies, so the whole thing seems fine to me."

Rarity covered up her face with her hooves again. "...it was really great," she whimpered.

"Nope, stop right there, just 'cause I approve don't mean I wanna hear about it." She rubbed her chin, thoughtfully. "But it ain't a big deal. I actually thought you hooked up with her a while ago."

Rarity gaped in horror at the very notion. "No! When?!"

"I dunno, a year ago, maybe. After Fluttershy's birthday, when everypony was drinking so much."

Rarity looked as if she was about to bark something angrily, but she just sighed. "...No, dear. That was Starlight. And it was never going to last, but it's also something I look back on fondly. It was my first time with someone I've remained civil with and, erm. My first time with a mare. I had thought it was a new beginning."

"Eh, I get it." Applejack shrugged. "I got it mixed up because I just remember thinking 'Whoa, hope Rarity knows what she's doing, getting in the middle of whatever Trixie and Starlight got going on.'"

Without getting up, Rarity unrolled a mauve cloth from the corner and spread it over her own head. "I'm so humiliated," she groaned.

Applejack lifted up the cloth and looked Rarity right in the quivering, tear-filled eyes. "Sugarcube, you're worrying me. What's got you all in a stitch about this? You ain't never been so ashamed of stuff like this." She paused. "Even when maybe you should be."

Rarity groaned.

"I'm talking about Trenderhoof."

Rarity groaned louder.

"Naw, come on." Applejack pulled Rarity to her feet. "What's the problem? This ain't just about Fluttershy."

Rarity stared down at the floor for a moment. "I suppose I just thought I'd have grown past all this by now." She sighed, dropping to a seated position. "I am ashamed of Trenderhoof, and that's the problem. My whole life, one after another, I've been drawn to... to vain, flashy unicorns with excellent manes. I'm just doing it all over again."

Applejack nodded. "I hear ya, but don't beat yourself up. Trixie's silly, and she's kinda annoying, but she ain't in the same universe as Trenderhoof. You are growing."

Rarity managed a small, wavering smile, but she did not have a chance to say anything before a series of thumps was heard from the next room and a muffled voice called, "Yo, Rarity! You know where Applejack is?"

Rarity blinked in surprise. "Rainbow Dash?"

Applejack sighed. "Want me to go see what she wants?"

"Please." Rarity took a deep breath, nodding gratefully. "I'll tidy up and join you in a moment if I can pull myself together." She picked up one of the fallen spools of thread, a wavering smile on her face.

Applejack turned to walk into the next room, only half surprised to see Rainbow sticking her head through the open front door. "Oh! There you are." She glanced over her shoulder. "She's in here!"

"Oh!" Starlight Glimmer's head poked through the doorway, too. "Hi!"

"Howdy, sugarcube!" Applejack headed out the front door and closed it behind her, leaving Rarity some privacy. "Rarity's a mite busy, but you wanted to talk to me anyways, right?"

"Yeah!" Starlight answered. "I wanted to see if you could do me a huge favor. Seeeeee... you know how Manehattan Pride is coming up next weekend?"

Applejack felt her forehead creasing just a bit. "Can't say's I did."

"Huh?" Starlight asked, confused. "But aren't you..." Rainbow elbowed her, discreetly shaking her head no.

"What I am is private about stuff like that," Applejack said evenly. "What's the favor?"

"Um, well." Starlight looked back and forth between them, clearly trying to keep from getting completely derailed. "Okay so, remember Ocellus? From the Friendship School?"

Hearing that name relaxed Applejack. "Sure. Real good kid."

"Yeah, she is! Um, so she really wants to come to pride, and we think it'd be good for her! We have permission from her parents and Thorax, but we just need somepony to be her chaperone who isn't... uh." Starlight coughed lightly. "...also going for more recreational reasons."

Applejack raised an eyebrow.

Starlight shrank a bit, but only a bit. "It's our vacation," she defended. "Come on, I work hard at the school all year, and I've really been looking forward to this. But I want to help Ocellus too, if I can. I'd be able to get you a modest stipend from the school."

Applejack sighed. "Naw, you're fine. But shucks, I can't help you. We got the whole irrigation set-up for the north fields getting replaced next week. I won't have a minute to spare, much less the whole weekend." At Starlight's forlorn expression, she nodded over to the other pony nearby. "But hey, can't Rainbow do it?"

"No way, don't even look at me," Rainbow snapped. "The last time I went to a pride thing, I couldn't go five seconds without a pony coming up to me and trying to get me to do a sonic rainboom."

"Heh, I thought you'd like that sorta thing," Applejack remarked. "You're famous."

"Well yeah, obviously, but I can't..." Rainbow Dash sighed. "Look, I can't help having an awesome rainbow mane, and I can't help doing awesome rainbow sky tricks. Somepony sees 'em and feels better about themselves, great, but they're my thing, and I gotta keep 'em for me. If I go, I'll just feel like a total jerk the whole time."

Starlight nodded sadly. "Yeah... so. Neither of you can do it. Me, Trixie, Fluttershy, and Rarity can't do it, because we're all going for vacations. Sunburst can’t do it because he’s overseeing the school field renovations. So. I guess that only leaves..."

Applejack leaned forward. "....it leaves...?"

Starlight glanced around. "Huh. I was kind of expecting her to appear out of nowhere and interrupt me. It only leaves Pinkie P--"

"STARLIGHT!!!!" Pinkie screeched, appearing from nowhere and tackling the unicorn to the ground. "I'd get to go to Manehattan and also help Ocellus find herself and see a bunch of awesome flags and receive a modest stipend?!?! This is amazing!!"

"Ghhk," Starlight replied.

"Ehehehe." Pinkie hopped away from her friend, reaching out a hoof and pulling her upright. "Sorry..."

"No, it's..." Starlight took a deep breath, rubbing her chest. "Whoof. Uh. It's fine. I'm just glad you're available."

"I'm posilutely available! You can focus on enjoying your trip."

"This means a lot to me. You..."

"Although..." Pinkie scratched her head in confusion. "I dunno why you want to go out to clubs, anyway! If you wanna date somepony, why don't you just date Trixie?"

Applejack actually considered that a pretty good question, but Starlight sputtered in horror. "What?! No, I couldn't do that! That's not... no! She... and I... no!"

"Wellll, okay!" Pinkie replied, completely unfazed by Starlight's fazedness. "Date Sunburst, then!"

"Pinkie!!" Starlight waved her hooves around frantically. "No! I don't even like him like that!"

"Hmmm. Okay!" Pinkie remained completely cheerful. "Date Trixie, then!"

"Waaaugh!" Starlight screeched, jumping up and down in her consternation. "Trixie and I are..." She shook her head violently as if trying to fling the blush off her face. "Auug!"

"You really saying you don't want to?" Rainbow asked. "The whole thing's seemed pretty inevitable for a while."

"No!" Starlight moaned. "That doesn't... we're close, but... look, friends can't just start dating!"

The others glanced at one another. "Uhhmmm... why not?" Rainbow asked.

"It's got to break some kind of rule! If friends can start dating, then nothing means anything! The ground is the sky! Fire is trees!"

"Ohh, lord," Applejack mumbled.

"Hey, I'm the headmare of the school of friendship. Maybe I'll just make it a rule!"

"Noo!" Pinkie wailed. "If friends can't date friends, then Gummy will never get together with Penelope!"

"Wait." Rainbow squinted in confusion. "Who's Penelope?"

"Uh, Gummy's friend, duh."

"Sugarcube, I'm sure we're all real sorry if we were pressuring you to date Trixie and you don't want to," Applejack said evenly, stepping right up to Starlight. "Friends can date each other, but it ain't true that romances can be 'inevitable' or anything like that."

In the exact instant she finished saying that, Rarity's front door slammed open and a disheveled, white unicorn ran out, beaming. "It's fate! Fated love! Fated true love!"

Applejack gawked at her. "...What? What're you..."

"I was just cleaning up my studio!" Rarity sang, dancing from hoof to hoof. "I was moping and feeling terribly sorry for myself, and I was thinking about how Applejack was right when she was pointing out my tragic, hopeless patterns with relationships."

"Uh, that's not exactly what I..."

"And then I looked down and saw this!!" Rarity levitated up a spool of thread, glistening with every color of the rainbow. There was a pause.

"Rarity?" Applejack glanced around for help; finding none, she threw up her hooves helplessly. "This ain't communicating much."

"Awesome thread, though," Rainbow added.

"Coco!" Rarity yelled joyfully, obviously thinking this explained everything.

"...Coco?" Applejack asked.

"Coco!"

"Wait, Coco?" Starlight asked.

"Coco?" Rainbow said.

"Coco!"

"Eehee!" Pinkie cheered. "Coco! Cococococococo. Cocococo! This is fun! Coc--" Rainbow's hooves mercifully clamped her hooves down around Pinkie's mouth.

"Rarity." Applejack held both front hooves up in a calming motion. "Please, just start over, would you? What are you talking about?"

"Coco!" Rarity answered again, but then she finally clarified: "Miss. Pommel."

"Ohh!" Applejack frowned. "...What about Miss Pommel?"

"Well, think about it, darling!" Rarity swooned. "Sweet little Coco is the antidote to every toxic habit in my dating life so far! I've always focused on these cold brutes, looking down from what I've seen as a higher station than myself. But Miss Pommel is my equal... and when I met her, she was merely an assistant! She is a sweetheart, and a mare, and my dear friend!"

"What does any of this have to do with your cool thread?" Rainbow asked.

"Well, that's the fated part! This thread was a gift she gave me, when we first met! I saw it, tiny and adorable there on the cold, wooden floor, and I thought of her. And remember where she lives! In Manehattan!! The very place I'm already planning to visit in less than a week! It's truly fate!"

"Could someone please tell me who this pony is?" Starlight broke in.

"She's a fabulously talented designer," Rarity answered. "My closest colleague in Manehattan! We were going to work together, if not for an unfortunately timed illness."

"Hmm. I think I have heard that name before..." Starlight frowned, then held up a hoof in sudden realization. "Oh! She's the one whose work you showed me in that magazine, right? The... um. I don't want to say 'hedgehog dress,' but it was a dress that looked like a hedgehog costume and I'm not sure what else to call it."

"Miss Pommel's work is very cerebral and nouveau!" Rarity enthused. "Why, she's one of the most exciting designers to come along in years!"

"She is very sweet," Applejack admitted. "In fact, she's a darn fine pony, if you ask me. But this is still coming out of nowhere, ain't it?"

"Oh, but it's perfect!" Rarity gushed. "Think about who I am deep down, darling. I'm an artist!... but I worry the pressures of business will stifle my creativity. Who could better understand than someone who goes through the same thing?"

"Well, but..."

"And you, yourself have often observed that although I have a craving for the excitement and culture in the city, I am a small-town mare at heart. Coco has always lived in the city... but she has dedicated herself to fostering community within her neighborhood!"

"Um..."

"And all of my dearest friends already know her and approve of her! And she's so honest with her feelings, but our schedules will force us to also maintain a healthy distance. It's simply perfect!"

Applejack gently grabbed Rarity's shoulders, holding steady. "Whoa now, sugarcube. I ain't arguing with you, it's just you're letting yourself get all carried away. You got to stop and think about a few things."

Rarity gasped, seeming almost appalled. "Like what?!"

"Like is she even gay?" Rainbow asked.

"Oh! Well." Rarity stuck her snoot up in the air. "A lady does not engage in gossip!" Her expression quickly shifted to a sly smile. "But yes."

"That's good, but it ain't the biggest thing!" Applejack argued. "You've known her a couple of years now and I never heard you talk about her like this. Do you even have any feelings for her, or does it all just seem like it should work?"

Rarity gasped again, clearly well past being appalled. "Applejack! Fated love!" Applejack just looked, and Rarity slowly calmed down just a bit. "I know I can get swept away, but I've also learned so much about myself in the past year! I'm not the starry-eyed mare who pined over Prince Blueblood, despite what I was saying earlier about... a certain showmare."

"Wait, what?" Starlight asked.

"Well. All right." Applejack narrowed her eyes very slightly. "But just be careful, okay? Miss Pommel is my friend, too."

"I mean it's totally not my business," Starlight yammered as Rarity smiled gratefully. "I don't even--WAUGH!"

Applejack whirled around at Starlight's yelp of surprise, and she found herself face-to-face with what appeared to be a giant hedgehog. Upon closer examination, the hedgehog was actually Pinkie Pie wearing an extremely impractical dress.

"It's a comment on how clothes are walls we put up, or something!" the hedgehog exclaimed happily. "Rarity explained it when I bought it. But I just had to have it because come on it's a classy hedgehog costume I mean right?!"

"Two new rules," Starlight asserted shakily. "Friends can't date, and nopony is allowed to quick-change into Coco Pommel outfits."

"This is amazing," Moon Dancer marveled, sifting through Ocellus's suitcase. "I haven't even heard of some of these books. Do you even know how rare it is for me never to have heard of a book?"

Ocellus smile-cringed, half proud and half shy. "I stopped at a bunch of libraries and bookstores on the way here. I know Miss Pinkie Pie said this weekend is about learning things that aren't in books, but that's no reason not to do some studying, right?"

Moon Dancer stared at her. "Take my class so I can give you an A."

"Oh wow!" Sunburst enthused, leaning in behind Moon Dancer and grabbing one of the many books with his magic. "I didn't know Null Set wrote about gender! I only know him for his work on magic physiogeny!"

"He got into it late in his career," Moon Dancer remarked. "I wouldn't call this stuff bad, but there's not much novel about it. Although he did directly influence Goodie Gumdrops, who basically invented Magic Queer Theory, so..."

"That makes a lot of sense! I know they were both teaching at Oxcart at the same time."

"Aahahaha!" A voice laughed fakely. They looked over to see Starlight walking stiffly onto the train platform, levitating her own suitcase with her. "It's a really good thing I'm not insecure about any of my friends being really similar to my childhood friend Sunburst!"

"It's a really good thing you say that literally every time Sunburst and I are in a room together," Moon Dancer replied, rolling her eyes.

Starlight grinned, but paused when she noticed the changeling. "Um. See, Ocellus, sometimes, when creatures have bad habits, they artificially make a big deal about it to turn it into a joke? That helps reduce the tension and acknowledge..."

"Heyyy, Starlight!" Sunburst interrupted. "Maybe this is a good time to remind Ocellus about how, even though you're her headmare most of the year, you don't actually have any educational responsibilities for her during this trip?"

"Oh! Yes. Right." Starlight coughed, then very softly muttered, "...and acknowledge shared awareness of the situation."

"Yes," Ocellus said, thankfully just moving forward. "Miss Pinkie told me she was the one I was going to stay with."

"Yup!" Pinkie confirmed cheerfully, bouncing up out of nowhere. "Everypony else is going to have fun. We're going to have fun too, but it's a different kind of fun: it's educational fun." She leaned closer. "And room service fun. Room service fun is very high-quality fun."

"I understand," Ocellus said, giggling softly.

"This means you stick with Pinkie the whole trip, and do everything she says," Sunburst added. "You've never been to Manehattan before, right?" At Ocellus's head-shake, he frowned. "It can be a little overwhelming at first, but that's why we're being so careful."

"Mm-hmm!" Pinkie confirmed. "I haaaaate being all tough and rule-y, but I made a promise to your parents I'd look out for you!"

"Oh, I won't break any rules!" Ocellus said, looking appalled by the very notion. "I just really appreciate being able to go."

"We're glad you can come," Starlight said. "Oh, and just because we're not your teachers, that doesn’t mean we’re not here to help if you get separated from Pinkie or something. If it's about your safety, you can come to me or anyone else you know; it's the most important thing."

"Oh, that reminds me." Sunburst pulled out a small, glowing pyramid and passed it over to Ocellus. "If there's a really big emergency, you can use this. Just poke it with your horn, and it'll send out a call to me, Thorax, and Princess Twilight."

"But I'm sure that won't be necessary!" Starlight said quickly.

"Eehhhyyyess?" Sunburst agreed, looking surprised by her outburst. "I'm sure it won't be necessary."

Ocellus set the pyramid among the books in her suitcase and grinned up at the ponies around her. "Before the train gets here, can I ask about some of the books I've been reading?"

"Yes," Moon Dancer answered. "No," Pinkie answered at exactly the same moment.

"Uh..."

"This weekend isn't about studying!" Pinkie insisted.

"Well, okay, but actually everything's about studying," Moon Dancer said.

Sunburst was slightly grateful when he felt himself getting pulled away from the argument, Starlight's characteristic blob of magic leading him to an empty part of the platform. "Is everything okay?" he asked.

Starlight glanced around, then looked at him seriously. "A magic pyramid?"

"Well...yeah. It's a good idea, right? She probably won't need it, but..."

"Thorax and Twilight?!"

"Just in case there's a disaster or something." He glowered slightly. "And I stayed up all night getting the enchantment right."

"There won't be a disaster." Starlight looked around, eyes falling on Trixie, standing alone next to the ticket office. "Trixie! Help me explain this to Sunburst!"

Trixie just looked at them for a second, then she slowly made her way over.

"Gnnnaugh, but I don't care about the morphological hegemonies in linguistipoopy doodle!" Pinkie's voice said loudly.

"Yes, Starlight?" Trixie asked when she arrived.

"Sunburst thinks there's going to be some big disaster in Manehattan."

"Oh come on. No I don't. I just think we should be prepared if there is one!"

Trixie looked back and forth between them. "Well, whatever Starlight says," she grunted. "She's the boss."

“Pinkie!!” Moon Dancer sounded horrified. “Stop juggling those! One of them went out of print five years ago!”

There was a pause as Sunburst tried to think of what to say to Trixie and Starlight just stood there, looking surprised. "Are...you okay?" Sunburst finally managed.

"Yep."

"Are you sure? You don't really sound okay."

"I'm okay."

"Trixie," Starlight grunted, annoyed. "Are you still mad about me bringing Ocellus?” Trixie said nothing. “We talked about that. I did it because I got too excited, not because I don't trust you. And I'm working on being less impulsive when I'm excited. I really am sorry."

Trixie stared stonily, then sighed. "We're fine. I'm just annoyed about being up so early in the dumb morning." She did not smile, but Sunburst recognized the expression as a benign one on her. She nodded over to the other group. “What’s going on with them?”

Sunburst glanced over, only slightly surprised to see Pinkie jumping back and forth as up-tempo polka music played from nowhere. “...and you can’t learn that from reaaaaading!” she crescendoed.

“Oh, huh, it turned into a song.” Sunburst walked over as Pinkie made her final pose and the music stopped. Moon Dancer looked annoyed, but Fluttershy had come over and was calmingly patting her back.

Ocellus just seemed amused by Pinkie’s antics. “Yay, that was fun!” But she shyly held up a hoof. “Um, I think I’m still going to read some of these on the train, though.”

“Awww.” Pinkie did not sound very disappointed. “Oh well, at least I got a chance to juggle.”

Sunburst glanced back at his colleagues; Trixie still seemed a little sour, but they stood close, nothing but comfortable vibes between them. He felt a little better.

"I'm telling you," Starlight insisted, "this is a good idea. A great idea, even!"

The other three ponies in the sleeping car glanced at one another skeptically. "See, it's not that I disagree with you necessarily," Moon Dancer began diplomatically, "I just want to be careful."

"But we'll arrive at Manehattan soon!" Starlight protested. "And this isn't even something to worry about, anyway! It's not a big deal, and it is useful. Twilight isn't afraid of ladybugs anymore, right?"

"Um, yesssss," Pinkie said, "buuuuuut she did scream at a kite for five hours."

"That was just because you barged in on us!" Starlight sighed. "I don't get it, Moon Dancer, you were okay with this last week."

"That," Pinkie replied icily, "was before she heard about a particular cake-burning incident." She held the glare for a moment, then blinked. "I mean... I totally forgive you! But we just have to make sure nothing as horrible as a burnt cake happens again!"

Starlight sighed. "But hypnotism isn't like a mind-control spell! It's just suggestions. The whole reason I thought of using it is because it's not a big thing! It'd just be a small boost to help me out."

Moon Dancer sighed. "Yeah... that's what my research said too, when I looked into it. And I did get a chance to practice before we left... uh, but it was on Maud so I kind of have no clue if it even worked or not."

"So? Come on! You get to practice something new you learned in a book, I get a self-esteem boost. It's a great idea!"

Moon Dancer raised an eyebrow. "Yeaahhh. So, I've been keeping track. Four of the last ten disasters at the school started with you insisting something is a good idea."

"What?? That can't be true."

Moon Dancer responded by pulling a list out of her saddlebag. "I did some interviews, so I have verbatim quotes. Okay, there's 'Trust me, it's a good idea! None of the students will even notice if Discord is living in the auditorium!"

"Hey, he needed somewhere to stay!" Starlight argued. "And he didn't cause that much trouble. Fluttershy, back me up, here!"

Fluttershy drew back a bit and hesitantly smiled. "I guess... he wasn't completely lying about the chaos dimension being closed for repairs. Just... mostly lying. And it isn't entirely his fault Yona got shaved..."

"Half-shaved!" Starlight protested, beginning to feel relieved Ocellus and Rarity were off in the dining car, and very relieved Trixie was sleeping next door.

Moon Dancer gave her a dry look, then glanced back down at her list. "'It's a great idea! What could make students more honest with one another than allowing them to anonymously say whatever they want with no repercussions?'"

"Ahh. Um." Starlight scratched the back of her head. "That only lasted a day, and everycreature really did learn a good lesson at the end of it!"

"'No, it's a great idea! How much damage could two Pinkie Pies cause, anyway?'"

"Ehehehe..." Starlight grinned nervously. "Okay yes, that one was pretty bad." Pinkie herself did not look bothered, but that made sense because she wasn't even either of the Pinkie Pies in question. "Uh..."

"'This could be the best idea I've ever had! Who even needs janitors when you have one of the best magic-users in all of Equestria as headma...'"

"Okay! Yes, okay." Starlight glowered. "I should have given the janitors their raise and not transformed all of the students' hooves into sponges. Yes." She stomped her hoof. "But this isn't fair! I have a lot of ideas, and most of them actually are good!"

Moon Dancer shrugged, slipping the list back into her bag. "Yeah, you're right. All the rest of the time you said something was a great idea... and believe me, you say it a lot... it ended up being really good. I'm just pointing out it's not a sure thing."

"So..."

"Look. Starlight." Moon Dancer held up a hoof. "I'm not saying I won't do it; I just want to be careful. Hypnosis seems like the kind of thing that can easily cause... shenanigans. And I want this weekend to be as shenanigan-free as possible."

"Oh, this is ridiculous," Starlight grunted. "I wrote down exactly what I want you to say to me! If you're worried, you can just look it over and make sure it's safe."

"I did, and it looks fine," Moon Dancer said, eyes firm. "But let's say we do it. Everything's going great, but, uh oh, what's this? Pinkie's in the room and she's paying a little too much attention. So whoops, now Pinkie wakes up and thinks she's you."

Starlight rolled her eyes. "I really don't..."

"But she's an earth pony, and Starlight Glimmer without her magic doesn't make any sense. So, she goes about constructing an artificial horn out of items she finds at the hotel. And she could do it, Starlight! You know she could!"

"This..."

"...And she starts casting spells to try to change herself back into you, but it's influenced by her innate Pinkiness and the spell goes wrong, and you know what happens then?!"

"Moon Dancer. Listen..."

"Talking jellybeans, Starlight!" Moon Dancer snapped. "Talking jellybeans everywhere! Talking jellybeans that now need jobs, and kersplash goes the economy of Manehattan!"

Starlight stared at Moon Dancer for a moment through half-lidded eyes. "Are you done?"

"With that scenario!" Moon Dancer had worked herself into a bit of a frenzy, but Fluttershy softly patted her back, which seemed to be helping. "But that's just one of many!"

"Okay." Starlight was trying to not get too annoyed, but it was a bit difficult. "So how about Pinkie just not be in the sleeping car with us while you hypnotize me?"

"Aww," Pinkie mumbled. "I wanted to see Starlight yell at kites."

"You've seen me yell at kites before," Starlight pointed out. "Just... out of passion for the art form."

"That's a start..." Moon Dancer said. She glanced at her special somepony hesitantly. "Honey, I think you shouldn't be around, either. No offense, but you can be kind of... suggestible."

Fluttershy nodded. "One time, I thought I was goth," she agreed.

"See?" Starlight said. "It'll just be us. Everything will be great!"

Moon Dancer squinted at her. "Well. I guess so. But I'm sticking completely to the script you gave me! No room for weirdness!"

"That's fine," Starlight replied, relieved. "But can we go ahead and do it already? I want to definitely be done before we get to Manehattan."

With a sigh, Moon Dancer nodded. Fluttershy gave her a quick smooch, and she and Pinkie stepped out of the car after both wishing Moon Dancer good luck. Starlight tried to ignore how vaguely ominous that felt.

"Okay," Moon Dancer said, "have a seat and let's get started."

Starlight complied as Moon Dancer, with slight apprehension pulled her pocket watch out of her saddlebag. "Hey," Starlight said, "you know, you don't have to do this if you really don't want to."

Moon Dancer shook her head. "No, I'm probably being silly. I just... want this weekend to be smooth, you know?"

"It will be!" Starlight promised. "And... listen, I appreciate this. I really, really want to meet some. Um. Mares. But I get in my own head about it so easily, and that makes me scared. This will be a huge help."

Moon Dancer nodded, smiling softly. "I get it. I hope it works." They shared a small moment of connection before Moon Dancer refocused. "Okay, just relax and follow along, all right?" She levitated the pocket watch up in front of her friend's eyes and began to gently swing it back and forth.

A vague part of Starlight's mind realized how quickly and easily this was working on her, but that was easy to disregard as she listened to Moon Dancer's droning voice and watched the timepiece. In no time at all, her eyes were closed and then she opened them again and all she remembered in-between was floating. "Uh."

"Feeling okay?" Moon Dancer asked as she put the pocket watch away.

"Yeah." She stretched. "Just kinda... dazed. Did it work?"

"I think so. You showed all the signs from the book."

"Mmm." Starlight shook her hooves; it felt like she hadn't moved for days. "You followed the script?"

"Yep." Moon Dancer passed over instructions she'd been given. "Basic confidence builders, and then that specific one: When you first go into a nightclub, you'll find it easy and effortless to approach the mare you think is most attractive and who looks like she'd be open to talking and introducing yourself."

"Thank you!"

"Although I don't even know why you're working so hard at this," Moon Dancer remarked, fixing her saddlebag. "Can't Trixie just take the lead?"

"Um... what?"

"She's such an extrovert! Just have her pick up the mares for the, um. Activities the two of you have planned."

"Gah!" Starlight gaped, horror filling her veins. "No! I want to pick up mares... for myself! Not WITH Trixie!"

"Oh!" Moon Dancer blinked in confusion. "So, wait, you two are... open, or something?"

"No! We're not dating at all! Why would you think that?!"

"...now that you specifically mention it, I'm kind of not sure. I just felt like it was something that must have happened." She frowned. "Huh. Sorry, I didn't even realize I was making a weird assumption. You and Trixie. It just felt... obvious."

"Well, it's not!" Starlight snapped, hoping her blush was not too apparent. "I..."

"Ohhhh." Moon Dancer suddenly paused and then nodded. "You're dating Sunburst!"

"Gah! No, I don't even like him like that! Does everypony think I'm dating one of them?!"

"I mean. Or both?" Starlight grabbed her head in consternation, but Moon Dancer stepped closer. "It's not like I think about it a lot! I just made a dumb assumption; I'm sorry."

"Hmph." Starlight took a deep breath, calming a little. "I'm sorry I freaked out. It's just... I couldn't date Trixie; come on. That's impossible."

"Eh, you're missing out, then," Moon Dancer replied, shrugging. "Trixie's a knockout. And if I was into stallions, I'd be head-over-hooves for Sunburst... uh, though that may be egotistical to say. Apparently we have a lot in common."

Starlight glared. "I'm gonna go find Fluttershy and bark like a dog in front of her and convince her you accidentally hypnotized me into it."

"Nooo!" Moon Dancer grabbed Starlight, but she was laughing, too. "I can't let anypony think all my studying backfired! Pinkie would never let me forget it!"

They both giggled, and Starlight felt better. "I guess creatures are going to make assumptions like that if I never talk with anyone about this stuff," she admitted. "That's part of what I'm trying to fix by throwing myself out there, this weekend. Everything will be so confusing and weird, I won't have any choice but to ask for advice."

"That is a very Starlight Glimmer way of solving a problem."

"Heh. I guess so." Starlight suddenly realized that the window behind Moon Dancer wasn't showing fields and trees anymore. "Oh! We're already in the city!"

Moon Dancer looked out at the right angles and hard stone of the Manehattan buildings whooshing past them. "Well! Time for the weekend to really start, I guess. You ready?"

"Absolutely not!"

"Me neither!"

They hoofbumped, and with genuine grins, they headed off to join the rest of their friends.

Brain Femme

THURSDAY ITINERARY:

Arrive in Manehattan. Drop off luggage at hotel.

Fluttershy and Rarity visit Coco! Rarity asks Coco out????

Reconvene at hotel to visit organizing committee! Pinkie (me!!!) & Ocellus stay and watch them do stuff!

If Coco says yes, double-date with Fluttershy & Moon Dancer! If Coco says no, everyone comforts Rarity.

Moon Dancer asks Fluttershy to marry her?????????

Trixie & Starlight go to club and do club stuff! (I hope not with actual clubs???)

"It's called Self-Compassion and Emotion Regulation in Friendships,” Moon Dancer said, embarrassed to even be talking about it. “Um, but even though it has 'compassion' in the title, it's actually in the Laughter department, I know it's confusing, sorry."

"Oh, wow." Ocellus grinned thoughtfully. "Is it a full credit, or a half credit? Is it discussion-based or lecture-based?"

"Full credit. And... I'm not really sure, I've only taught it once. I want to focus on research methods, though, because that's kind of my thing. There's a big, final project where you read some of Net Gross's papers and then come up with your own study." Moon Dancer scratched the back of her head nervously. "To be honest, I try to minimize my own 'teaching,' because I get worried I'll pass on some misinformation. This isn't my main job. Um, but Starlight was really insistent I have something to offer students, so..."

"Oh, I understand!" Ocellus said passionately. "I get worried about that, too! That's why I have this!" She held up her tape recorder. "I've got to report back to everyone after I get home, and I'm worried I'll get something wrong." She paused. "Wait, one second, just while I'm thinking of it." She clicked the tape recorder on. "Thursday morning. Arrived safely at the hotel. The city is a terrifying, angry monument to the destruction of nature. So many ponies; so much rage. Mind cluttered. Nerves frayed." She clicked it off, then clicked it back on. "The lobby has a Starbucks, though, so frappuccinos! Yay!" She clicked it off.

Moon Dancer was thankfully spared having to respond to that, because Pinkie approached with two keycards in her mouth. "Beez ur yrss!" she said, holding them out. Moon Dancer took the cards with her magic, nodding in thanks. "Your room’s on seventeen, with everyone else’s. But..." she turned to Ocellus excitedly, "We're on the second floor! Which meaaannnnssss we get a big suite, with a hot tub and everything!"

“Oh, that’s nice!” Ocellus replied, smiling. “Thanks so much, Miss Pinkie.”

Pinkie beamed in response, but then immediately frowned again. “You two were talking about school. Which is fine, but come on! We’re in Manehattan! Let’s find something fun to do while Rarity and Fluttershy are gone!”

“Well… all right,” Moon Dancer said. “Equestria’s largest used bookstore is just a few blocks away. Maybe we…” She trailed off as Pinkie’s expression dissolved into a look of pure despair.

“Uh.” Moon Dancer thought for a moment. “We could go to the geological museum? They have…” Pinkie’s expression stayed despair but somehow grew larger.

Moon Dancer shook her head, unable to keep a laugh from escaping. “Okay, well, We could go to F.A.O. Horse. You know, the famous toy store. That might…”

Pinkie literally pounced on her in glee. Somehow, Moon Dancer didn’t mind.

“Oh, you didn’t have to come all the way to Bronclyn!” Coco apologized, leading Fluttershy and Rarity into the studio. “Especially if you’re just stopping by…”

“Not at all, darling! Of course we had to come, and I’m delighted to see behind the curtain, as it were!” Rarity trotted right in, but Fluttershy paused for a moment to steel herself.

It was very nice to see sweet little Coco again, and supporting Rarity was still the main priority. But as Fluttershy stepped inside, she could not keep from being distracted by the truly grotesque clothes hanging all over. One outfit appeared to be a giant piece of coral covered in hair, another looked like Sassy Saddles's usual garb, except instead of a saddle, there were skulls. In the very center of the room, there was a pink dress decorated with what hopefully were not real eyeballs.

"Um, these are just some works in progress," Coco explained meekly.

"Oh, how daring!" Rarity exclaimed. "I just knew you'd be a success, but to have so completely developed such an inimitable style is incredible!"

"I... like the ones without the skulls," Fluttershy managed to stammer.

"They're supposed to be challenging, but I don't think I have the balance right, yet." Coco sighed. "I know my vision is a little weird..."

"Oh, don't you dare apologize for your work!" Rarity snapped kindly. "You've become the face of the avant-garde for a reason!"

"I'd... um... like to talk more about some of the things I'm working on, if you get a chance," Coco said shyly. "Your perspective is always so useful. I know you said you were just dropping by, but hopefully you could maybe spare a lunch later? I don't know why you're in town, though, I'm sure you're really busy..."

"But my darling!" Rarity enthused, very subtly batting her eyelashes, "You’re part of the reason I'm in town!"

"I... am?"

"You see, since we've last seen one another, I've discovered some important things about myself." Fluttershy could not help but be impressed. Rarity was being so subtle, just a wink here and a gesture there, and Miss Pommel was just utterly enthralled. "And so I've come here to enjoy the pride celebration!"

Coco's mouth fell open, but she recovered quickly. "Oh! P...pride? So... you're...?"

"As bisexual as half a gumball machine, my dear. And, since you're my dearest friend in all of Manehattan, I was hoping you could enjoy this celebration with me. I mean..." She glanced at Fluttershy briefly. "With us. Excuse my slip of the tongue."

Coco did not reply for a moment, but when she did, it was a little manic. "I don't know much. I don't normally... I went to some events last year, but... I mean, I am queer! That's what my work is mostly about!" Fluttershy tried not to think about what the bodice with the giant beetle legs over in the corner could possibly be representing about Miss Pommel's sexuality. "But..."

"Oh, please say you'll come!" Rarity pouted. "I was so looking forward to spending this time with you, specifically!" Coco, apparently unable to form words, nodded. Rarity beamed. "How wonderful! We have to return to the hotel to freshen up, but this evening, we had some things in mind we'd like to do. Perhaps you could join us? The Mareiott in Tribucka at 6:30?"

"Sure! Yes." Coco paused. "Yes to I'll meet you. Is what I'm saying. Then. And there. This is a yes to your question. The question about..."

"Delightful!" Rarity sang, finally interrupting to put the stammering mare out of her misery. She trotted over and nuzzled Coco briefly. "So sorry to rush off, but I want to look as stunning as possible tonight! You understand, don't you?"

Coco did not look like she understood much of anything at the moment. "It was very nice to see you again," Fluttershy offered. Coco blinked at her, saying nothing. Rarity cheerfully turned and trotted back out the way they came, Fluttershy following behind.

When they got back out onto the Bronclyn street, Rarity suddenly stopped, took a deep breath, and whirled on Fluttershy. "That went well, right?" she asked, her eyes displaying anxiety that had apparently been skillfully hidden before. "She wanted to go? That's a good sign?"

"Um, yes," Fluttershy answered. "Actually, she might really... really like you."

"Oh, I don't dare to hope!" Rarity moaned, nearly swooning. "Well. Perhaps I will dare to hope just a little."

"I think you should."

"Eeeee!" Rarity excitedly trotted in place. "My heart is beating like a jackhammer! I really do like her.” She paused, as if surprised she’d just said that. “...I really do like her."

"Rarity." Fluttershy forced herself to stand directly in front of her friend, keeping her expression as serious as possible. "I want you to know that I like Miss Pommel, and I hope the two of you are able to be together. But."

Rarity gazed back, confused. "But?"

"But..." Fluttershy sank back, but just a little. "But her designs are absolutely terrifying, and if you become her girlfriend, please please please keep her from ever dressing me in them."

"Ah. I think... I can handle that."

Fluttershy smiled warmly in gratitude.

Coco walked across the room, even though there was nothing there. "She said 'I was looking forward to spending the time with you specifically.'" She walked back across to the other side of the room, even though there was nothing there, either. "'With you, specifically!' That means something, right?!"

Her friend did not reply. Unbothered, Coco turned in an anxious circle. "But she also called me her 'dearest friend in Manehattan.' She said 'friend!' I just don't know!" She waved her hooves around in half frustration and half panic. "I'm sorry I just came over and barged in, but I didn't know who else to ask! You know her. What do you think? Is it a date?"

Before even one second passed, she spoke again. "Wait. Before you answer, just remember, this is Rarity. Rarity! The kindest and most beautiful mare in the whole industry! The one who saved me from turning out like Suri! The one who showed up like a miracle to save me when I needed her most!"

Still not waiting for an answer, she paced back across the room. "It took all the courage I had just to give her that rainbow thread! Do you think she figured out what I was trying to say? I can't believe she's actually queer!" She grabbed her head between her forehooves. "Aauughh! Could it even possibly be a date? Am I being stupid? What do you think?!" She gazed in desperate hope at her friend.

"Dating is for plebes and hooligans!!" Photo Finish barked. "I know nothing about it! Nothing!"

Coco sniffled. "So... you can't help? I..."

"Why of course I, Photo Finish, will help the Coco!" She tapped one of her attendants with a hoof. He picked her up and carried her over to Coco so she could embrace her. "But I must observe with my own magical eyes! The body language will tell me all I need to know. I will be Photo Finish the spy!!"

"Really? Um. That’s great, but you’d have to be subtle about it. Could you…”

"SNEAK!" Photo Finish shouted, prancing around the room. "Sneak! Sneak! Sneak! Do you see?!!" She jumped up on a table, flinging her head back into a dignified pose. "I sneak!"

Coco stared at her, bewildered. There was a long pause. "Well, if you--"

"I SNEAK!!" Photo Finish gestured to her entourage, who immediately ran over and formed a pony staircase back down to the floor. “Simply let me know where you will be and all will be well!” She trotted happily down the stairs towards Coco, then paused. “...No.” She posed again. “All will be fantastic!!”

It took a moment, but Coco found herself smiling. “Thank you. I know I’m probably being really dumb, but…”

“Tut tut tut!” Photo Finish shouted. “We are in the business of creating dreams. Of creating beauty!!” She threw her hoof around Coco’s shoulder, spreading her other foreleg out towards the heavens. “And we must work to create beauty for each other when the time comes as well! Because friendship! Friendship is….”

Coco blinked, confused. “Um… friendship is magic?”

“Wrong!!” Photo Finish shouted. “Friendship is… the magics!!”

And despite herself, Coco felt better.

The good feelings had not entirely dissipated by the time Coco found herself trotting down the Manehattan sidewalk, but so many other feelings were swirling around in her head, it was all she could do to just be polite. They were surrounded by rainbows and cheerfulness, but the process of meeting or re-meeting so many creatures was tiring.

There was Rarity, of course, who walked right next to her but whose smile was impossible to read. Then there was Pinkie and Fluttershy, whom she remembered liking, and Starlight, who was somehow endearing and intimidating at the same time, and the smart pony in the glasses whose name she forgot, and that blue unicorn who’d decided to stay at the hotel and it was kind of a tense moment and Coco didn’t know why. They were all apparently very close friends with Rarity, and they were all completely gorgeous, and it was the sort of thing where everypony was so nice Coco felt weird about feeling weird. Honestly, the one she felt best about was the darling little Changeling,

"Wow, Starlight" Coco marveled as they all walked, trying not to be too obvious about awkwardly initiating conversation. "I'm amazed you were able to set this up!"

Starlight shrugged. "Sometimes, it's all just who you know. And, well..."

She gestured to her side, where Pinkie was in a continual state of joyful greeting. "Hi, Beeswax! Oh, hey, Cloudwhisper! Lookin' good, magic talking duck! Loved the new album, Sapphire!"

Ocellus peered around in wonder. "So many ponies..." She somehow cringed slightly while still walking. "...I'm not used to this."

“Um, I don’t like crowds too much either,” Coco said to her, receiving a grateful smile in return.

Fluttershy stepped close, nodding. "Just let us know if it becomes too much, all right?" she asked gently. "We can fly off somewhere more quiet." Coco nodded in affirmation, before realizing she didn’t have wings and so that was a silly thing to do. Thankfully, they didn’t seem to notice.

"All right. Thank you." The sidewalk was becoming less crowded as they approached the barriers partitioning off the organization area, but Ocellus seemed to be getting more tense. "Are you sure this is all right? I don't want to bother them."

"Positive!" Starlight chirped with obviously forced cheerfulness. "Aaand I'll show you right now!" She led the group right up to the security guard standing in front of the partition that divided the crowd from the special background area. "Hi! I'm Starlight Glimmer, here from the School of Friendship, and..."

The security guard stepped aside and waved them in with a nod of his head. "Hey, Pinkie," he greeted, sounding bored.

"Hi, Bottleneck! How's guard duty?"

He shrugged. "Someone's gotta do it, I guess. Committee's in the big tent, uh, as if you could miss it."

"Oh." Starlight blinked in surprise. "Well, okay then." She smiled at Ocellus. "See? No problem!"

The committee had managed to partition off half the block, with an indeed very salient, very large, brightly-colored tent apparently serving as a base of operations. Starlight led them up to the main flap; volunteers were milling around, but things didn't look too hectic.

In fact, the whole tent was weirdly shadowy and quiet, like some kind of magic darkness swirling through the periphery. It was a little eerie, despite the mundane contents that were visible: there were some card tables set up and a half-erected stage, several creatures standing on it, talking. Coco supposed she was on edge, and she tried to calm herself.

That did not last long, because of the sudden, loud squealing of the enormous sea monster whose tank sat next to the stage. "Aaa! Is that my favorite ponies?! It is! It's my favorite little ponies!!"

"Steven!" Pinkie sang in greeting, as all three members of Rarity's core group rushed over, looking completely delighted. Moon Dancer, Starlight, and Ocellus seemed quite a bit more confused, but Coco was immediately distracted by Rarity softly bumping against her side before galloping over to the tank.

"Oh, you look fabulous!" Rarity called to the sea monster. "I just love the ascot; what a delightful way to complement your famous facial hair!" She smiled back at Coco, who was trotting hesitantly to catch up. "This is our dear friend Steven Magnet! They played quite an important role in us all becoming friends!"

Steven waved their claw dismissively. "Oh, flatterer! But it's so wonderful to see all of you!" They raised a curious, mischievous eyebrow. "And who are these others? Could they be your... oh, what is the adorable term you all use... your 'special someponies?'"

Starlight froze in awkwardness and Coco froze in something like horror, but luckily Pinkie jumped to their rescue. "Just one of them! This here is Moon Dancer! She's Fluttershy's girlfriend-slash-fiancee!"

"Hi," Moon Dancer greeted. "It's less complicated than it sounds."

"Oh honey, don't you even worry," Steven assured her. "Any relationship without at least one slash in it isn't worth having!"

"And this is Starlight Glimmer!" Pinkie said, moving on quickly. "She runs the Friendship School! She set this up so Ocellus..." She darted behind the frightened changeling and pushed her forward towards Steven's tub. "...could see how this whole event works!"

Steven gasped, quickly shaking both of their hooves. "Oh, that's you! I hope we can help." They leaned down, smiling at Ocellus. "Say, could I ask you to turn into me, but with a different haircut, so I can see how I'd look? I'm kidding! I wouldn't ask you to do that!"

"Oh. Well... I could, though. If you wanted."

"Oh, I like her!" Steven sang. They glanced over at the only member of the group who had not yet been introduced. "And who's this?"

Coco swallowed, which did not at all serve to fix her dry throat and mouth. Steven was clearly entirely benevolent, but the notion of anyone explicitly clarifying her relationship to Rarity was the most monstrous thing she could imagine. "Ehh. Hello. I'm Coco Pommel."

"Coco is my very dear friend," explained Rarity. "She's attending the celebrations with me, and I'm hoping to..." She paused, either meaningfully or just searching for the right words. "...to learn a lot from her this weekend." Coco nodded, both relieved and agonized by the continued ambiguity.

"Hey. Hey, hey." A clapping noise caught all of their attention; they looked to see a griffon standing on the stage nearby, waving. He did not look pleased. "Right right, you're all Steven's best friend, but social hour's over. C'mere."

"Oh well, fine then!" Steven jokily huffed. "But make sure you speak up so I can hear from over here!"

"Yeah yeah." The griffon grumbled to himself, flying over to a table. Coco hesitantly followed the rest of the group up onto the stage, where an eclectic group of creatures was standing. Two earth ponies, a pegasus, and a unicorn… but notably a griffon and donkey, too.

She wasn't sure why she was even surprised, but amazingly Rarity and Pinkie and Fluttershy knew some of them, too. "Mr. Stripes!" Rarity greeted, approaching a large stallion in a track suit. "My goodness, I didn't know you were on the pride event committee!"

"I do for my daughter," the large earth pony replied, not without a little warmth. "I am... what is the term?... murderously protective. I can bite noses off those who'd be prejudiced, or I can volunteer here to make them less prejudiced, and eh. This is less illegal."

"Hi, Buster!" Pinkie said, trotting up to an orange colt who honestly looked far too young to even be there. "Buster's my veeerrrrrrrrry distant cousin!" she explained to the rest of the group.

Buster waved, somehow both gruff and friendly. "Hi."

"Yup uh huh very nice, I'm Gus," the griffon muttered, swooping down. He tossed a badge and lanyard to Ocellus, then flipped through a clawful of other badges, frowning. "Huh, this Starlight character isn't even here. Not sure..."

"Hey, I am here!" Starlight shouted, stomping forward. "I just am not personal friends with apparently everyone in Equestria."

"You're my personal friend!" Steven called.

"Yep sure," Gus grumbled. He tossed a badge to Starlight, then passed the rest to the others in the group. "Look, sorry I can't be friendlier, but our opening event is in like ninety minutes and we are extremely not ready."

"Oh, no!" Ocellus exclaimed. "I'm sorry! I don't want to delay you..."

"It's fine!" A young, grey pegasus mare trotted forward, smiling warmly. "Hi, I'm Gold Star!" She indicated the last two creatures on the stage, a rather elderly donkey and a thin, youthful unicorn. "This is Pippy and Northern Lights!" She smiled warmly at both Ocellus and Starlight. "We really did want to talk to you, and we're glad you had time to talk to us!"

Gus rolled his eyes, clearly happy to let his more social colleague take the lead. "Whatever." He called off to a darker area behind the stage. "Yo! Gold Star's doing her spiel, you coming?"

"Hmm? Oh!" The voice calling back was familiar to Coco, but she couldn't place it. But once again, her colleagues smiled in recognition. She only had a moment for that to make her nervous before one of the most famous ponies in the world trotted out onto the stage, emerging from the shadows like a ghost.

"My!" Luna paused in surprise but managed not to spill any of the coffee she was levitating along with her. She trotted up to them, with a smile that was probably forced and fake but seemed as charmingly genuine as can be... princesses were said to be good at that. "How nice to see you, my friends!"

Coco has always been small, but the extent to which she felt small changed a lot. She felt miniscule when she was with Suri, but it had mostly been different since then. Now, staring up at this titanic alicorn (Coco literally checked to make sure Steven was actually larger than her) she shrank and shrank.

After the greetings and the hugging (Rarity had nuzzled the stunning giantess for maybe five or six eternities), Coco finally found her voice. "You... you know Princess Luna?"

"She's only my second best friend who's a princess!" Pinkie exclaimed. She paused, then grinned nervously. "Oh, sorry, Twilight's first and then all the rest of you are tied, is that okay?"

"Of course." Luna's voice was weirdly sweet for an entity that CREATED THE STARS. Coco very definitely noticed that no one else seemed to find it astounding that one of the former rulers of Equestria, an immortal, gorgeous alicorn, was just standing there with them.

But she felt Rarity acknowledge her, which very quickly made everything nicer. "Oh, how terribly rude of me. Luna, this is..."

"Coco Pommel?" Luna strode forward and shook Coco's limp hoof. She quickly blushed at the bemusement she was causing. "Ah. I'm... sorry for my exuberance. I'm merely a great fan of your work."

Coco gazed up in wonder. "You... are?"

"Indeed." Luna wasn't doing anything but standing there, but she looked like she was posing somehow. "Ever since I've been freed of my royal raiments, I've been more and more interested in the art of fashion. I... try to be an artist myself, and your use of shapes is quite impressive and inspiring! I would love to hear about your creative process."

"Tick tick tick tick!" Gus the griffon called out, flying by with some rainbow decorations in his claw and pointedly not looking down at anyone. "Tick tick. Clock noises. Tick."

"Uh, yes, I'm sorry to step in, but I'm sure you'll all get a chance to speak more later." Gold Star, clearly the 'ponies pony' of the committee, stepped forward, smiling warmly. "We do have to make sure everything's ready for the opening."

"And then tonight's block party," Gus muttered, flying back the other way. "And the two parades tomorrow, the speeches tomorrow night, the..."

"Oh, we get the point, sourpuss!" Steven chided.

"Yes. Thank you." Gold Star appeared to be the kind of pony who never stopped smiling, but it was somehow much less sickly-sweet than it was with Suri. "I'm glad to be able to speak with all of you. Especially you, um... Ocellus?"

Ocellus, startled at suddenly being the center of attention, nodded sharply. "Yes?"

"We're really glad you're here!" Gold Star reiterated kindly. "Pride has done a wonderful job at helping ponies... but like the rest of Equestrian society, I'm afraid we have not done the best at helping creatures that aren't ponies." Princess Luna's gaze dropped in what looked like abashment, which Gold Star noticed. "...And, I think the important thing is working to make every creature feel comfortable, moving forward."

"Y...yes," Luna replied quietly, glancing up at Pippy the donkey before quickly looking away again. "That's a goal we all wholeheartedly support."

"So," Gold Star continued, "we worked to start to have a more diverse organizing committee than we had before. Which is great! Without Steven, we wouldn't know how to solve accessibility issues for water-dwellers, for instance. But it also symbolizes a commitment to inclusivity. And we want to be inclusive to you, too. As an individual and as a changeling. Do you understand?"

"Um." Ocellus looked around, opening and closing her mouth. "Uh."

"Aw, c'mon Goldie, you're freaking her out!" Buster the notably young colt grumbled. He strode right up to Ocellus, shaking her hoof confidently. "Hey, Ocellus, right? I'm kinda an intern here, and I know my way around. Thought we could hang out during the events, if you wanted anything explained to you. And you can let me know if anything makes you feel weird."

"Oh!" Ocellus blushed but nodded. "Yeah. Okay."

"Cousin party!!" Pinkie screeched, dancing in a circle, and Buster handled it rather gracefully, all things considered.

Gold Star beamed adorably, eyes closed and mouth wide open. "Oh, hooray!"

"It's all going to be fine, though," Starlight snapped, a surprising amount of bitterness in her voice.

Everyone looked at her as if suddenly noticing she was present, which was actually probably related to the reason for her irritation in the first place. She pressed a hoof against her mouth, blushing. "Uh. Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so forceful. But we're all looking out for Ocellus's safety. She's fine!"

Buster opened his mouth to reply in a manner that did not look like it was going to be very inclusive, but Gold Star swerved in front of him, gazing upon Starlight with big, calm eyes. "Oh yes, we know! We were all so excited to hear from the headmare of the School of Friendship precisely because you've been so important in helping ponies and other creatures get along! Probably more than any other institution. We just want to make sure Ocellus feels included in our community to the extent that she wants, not just safe."

"Hm." Starlight frowned but nodded. "Well. Okay. Thank you."

Gold Star started talking again, but Coco did not hear any of it, because she suddenly became aware of the fact that Rarity was now leaning against her, just totally casually, as if it was nothing.

Coco looked over. Rarity was looking back at her, eyes half-lidded, smiling. She looked very much like she wanted to kiss her, right there in front of everypony, in the middle of some intense conversation about changelings and intersectionality.

For one boneheaded moment, Coco tried to feign confidence. She forced away the thoughts that the pony giving her such a heated look was a world-famous hero and a brilliant businesspony and someone who apparently had five billion startlingly attractive best friends.

But it didn’t last. Coco knew there was no world in which she could pull off being confident and cool, like Rarity was probably used to. She could not be sexy or glamorous or elegant.

But cute, she could do. She knew she was cute. And genuinely interesting. And maybe a little boring, okay, but boring in a reliable way, and her art wasn’t boring. Yes, she was cute and artistic and sweet and interesting and humble. And it was entirely possible Rarity was attracted to those things more than she was attracted to statuesque goddesses or intellectuals or royalty. For Rarity, she could be cute. And at the very least, for the love of all that was good in Equestria, she could pull it together and act like a normal grown-up.

“I just love looking at you,” Rarity breathed, and Coco lost the ability to act like a normal grown-up.

She realized later that this probably was a good thing, because it made her cuter. But at the moment, she didn’t think anything at all. She just gaped as Rarity leaned in.

“Rarity!” Starlight Glimmer yelled, very close by.

“NOTHING!” Coco heard herself yip automatically. She threw her hooves up over her face in chagrin.

Everyone was staring at them, and the whole group, even Gus the surly griffon, was looking quite amused by their predicament.

“Oh!” Rarity babbled, face reddening. “My, I. Oh dear, I’m terribly sorry, what were you saying?”

“Just asking if you were ready to go,” Starlight apparently repeated.

“Ah. Yes yes, of course. How lovely to have seen everyone! Steven, Luna, Mr. Stripes… I hope we have a chance to see each other when things aren’t quite so hectic!” She smoothly followed the others to the exit. Coco, far less smoothly, went too.

Amidst the friendly goodbyes, Steven, Luna, Pinkie, Gold Star, and the quiet donkey caught Coco’s eyes for a moment and gave her a smile. It helped.

Falling into step with Rarity, they headed towards the exit. Rarity’s expression was bright and cheerful and excited. She was clearly very happy, but there was something else… pleasant surprise, maybe? Almost… relief? Coco added it to the day’s list of confusing things that would make her worry if she thought too much about them, and she decided not to think too much about it. Then she thought too much about it, anyway.

Murder and Mayfemme

Trixie never really noticed how much Starlight brushed her mane. It seemed very unnecessary: right out of the shower, it just draped into its usual purple-blue waterfall, and the thick strands were not really in danger of getting frizzy (unlike Trixie's own mane, which of course never looked bad but required a little more effort to look amazing). Trixie had read somewhere ponies sometimes brushed their manes to relax, but judging by Starlight's mood, this was not her purpose either.

"It wasn't anything anyone did," Starlight grumbled. "It was what they didn’t do. I set the whole thing up, and they just... just forget I'm even there!"

Trixie poured herself a shot. "Uh huh."

"Okay, so they didn't need to talk to me. Nothing went wrong. But I'm not just tagging along! It's not like I'd have a problem with what Ocellus is doing, but no one even asked me! They talked to Miss Pommel more than me, and she's just Rarity's girlfriend, or whatever!" Starlight stopped brushing, glared at herself in the mirror, and then frantically began brushing again. "Grrf! And nothing against Miss Pommel! She's great to talk to. I wish I had talked to her more. But she isn't the whole reason Ocellus is even here!"

Trixie drank her shot. She poured another.

"It's just rude!" Starlight finally put the brush down and went over to her dress. She unzipped it and slipped it on, still ranting. "Only that Gold Star pony even said anything to me. And why? Because everypony already knows Pinkie? Well...gah!" Her horn got caught in her dress, and she flailed a bit before pulling it over her head correctly. "...Well, sorry I'm not as popular as Pinkie! Everyone just made their decisions about how things would go and didn't include me at all! I do all this work and everypony else just swoops in! Aagh!"

With that final groan of frustration, she took a deep breath, her magic zipping up the dress. After a moment, she walked back over to the mirror, calmer. "All right. Sorry I asked you to come over here while I got ready, but I had to gripe about it to somepony."

She looked back at Trixie with a warm smile, which quickly became a frown as a shot glass floated right up to her face. "Drink," Trixie declared.

"Oh, uh..." Starlight took the glass into her own magic, frowning. "This is, uh... 'pregaming,' right? Do I have to?"

"No, buuuuuut it's part of the whole thing. Buying overpriced cocktails is part of the whole thing, too, but you probably want to minimize that."

Starlight regarded her skeptically, then closed her eyes and dumped the shot down her throat. She managed not to cough, but she did stick out her tongue. "Gah! If this is pregaming, sign me up for the overpriced cocktails!"

"You know what? Me too." Trixie screwed the lid back onto her bottle of cheap whiskey and set it on the table. "This is the first time I've done this when I'm not just on tour, so I can actually afford them." She smirked. "This might actually be one way that having a real job isn't just for suckers."

"Uh, let's just add that to our running list of 'things you shouldn't say to your boss,'" Starlight replied.

Trixie chuckled unguiltily, glancing down at the piece of paper on the table next to the whiskey bottle. "Hey, what's this?"

"Hmm?" Starlight looked over, then widened her eyes in alarm. "Nothing! It's just..."

"'...you will feel confident and attractive. And whenever you walk into a nightclub this weekend, you'll find it easy and natural to notice the creatures who look willing and free, and then to automatically introduce yourself to the one you find most attractive.’" Trixie looked up, half-trying to keep from smirking. "Starlight, what is this?"

"It's just... some things to think to myself!"

"Was this that 'great idea' you kept talking about before we left? You want somepony to hypnotize you into being confident enough to pick up girls?"

"Gauugh!" Starlight snatched the paper away. "Fine. Yes! Moon Dancer did it on the train. And it's not funny!"

"It's a little funny," Trixie pointed out.

"It's just a creative solution to a problem! That's my thing!" Starlight set the paper down on another table, then, for some reason, laid a book on top of it.

Trixie shrugged. "Eh, I get it. You gotta use magic to keep up with me as my wingmare."

"It's not magic," Starlight grunted. "But... kind of yes? You've done this before! Mares like you!"

"They absolutely do." Trixie turned leisurely to the door. "Keep complimenting me, and I'll tell you all my secrets. You ready to go?"

Starlight sighed, smiling. "Sure, sure." She walked towards the door, calmly. "Oh, by the way, I love your dress. You look..." Starlight paused, because she was trying to open the door and it was not working. She glanced up, noticing a purple blob of magic up against the door frame, and turned around. "Uh..."

"But before we leave," Trixie said, "we have to talk."

"What? Wait..."

"I'm angry." Trixie trotted over to the mirror, fluffed her mane, and looked back at her best friend. "And I can't have fun while I'm angry." She paused, tapping her chin in thought. "Well. That's not true. I have lots of fun when I'm angry. But not this kind of fun."

"Trixie!" Starlight grunted. "Seriously? Seriously?! Is this the Ocellus thing again? Seriously?!! I can't keep apologizing for that!"

"Well, I'll never get tired of hearing you apologize." Trixie smirked. Starlight could take criticism, but this was dangerous ground, and so she tried to keep things playful. "But that's not exactly it. It's what you've been doing tonight."

"What?" Starlight asked, glaring. "I can't, like, guess what you're mad about. Just tell me."

Trixie raised an eyebrow. "I just had to listen to you complain... at length... about other ponies doing the exact same thing to you that you did to me. The thing you know I got mad about. The thing you said you can't keep apologizing for."

"Oh, come on!" Starlight protested. "This isn't the same thing at all! I just did all this work with Ocellus, and I wanted it to go right, and they just... ignored that and took over and decided things would..." She trailed off, frowning. "Oh."

Trixie kept her voice even; not angry, not condescending. "The thing is, you didn't even think this might get on my nerves. So this makes me wonder if you even understood why I was mad in the first place."

Starlight glared. "Of course I..." She stopped. Her brow unclenched, and she took a deep breath. "All right. Can you explain it?"

Trixie sat down, nodding. She tried not to let her relief show, but it probably slipped a little. "Okay, so, you know how some ponies judge me for the things I've done instead of giving me a chance to be a better pony? And you relate to that because of your own experiences, and that was the whole original basis for our friendship?"

"I... think I do?"

"Well, you don't."

Starlight blinked. "Then why did you a--"

"You wouldn't judge me based on my past," Trixie declared. "I know you understand how bad that feels." She paused, then just let it out: "But. I think there was a part of that for me you never really got."

"I'm not sure you want to have an evil-off against me," Starlight pointed out hesitantly.

"...No, I don't." Trixie paused. "Though I do have to say that when I was evil, I focused on quality over quantity, unlike some ponies I could mention." Starlight glared, but it was one of her non-serious glares. "Look, you've fought back from everyone assuming you're a terrible pony, and I really respect that. You know I do. But... you've always had your magic. All your magic. And everypony knows it. But me?" Trixie trailed off, then sighed. "Come on, you're not going to make me say it, are you?"

"I.... think you're going to have to," Starlight answered, "because I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Grrph." Trixie stared daggers down at the floor. "You've had ponies look at you and assume you're evil. But you've never had ponies look at you and assume you're a joke."

Starlight blinked, looking absolutely nonplussed. "A joke? What?"

"It's not like I don't get it!" Trixie grunted. "I brag all the time! I don't think things through! I'm always 'on!' I keep talking about how powerful I am, but it's all tricks! I'm selfish and lazy and annoying but basically harmless. Right?"

"Trixie..." Starlight hesitantly walked forward. "I don't think any of that about you. Neither do Sunburst or Moon Dancer or Maud or any of your other friends."

Trixie rolled her eyes. "Well, obviously. But... I know how ponies look at me. I know what Jackapple and Twilight and Roombah Dratch think."

"You know perfectly well that's not their..."

"You get the point!" Trixie snapped. "Lots of times, ponies think I can't be trusted to handle anything. I'll just be comically irresponsible and go... bat my eyelashes in the mirror or something."

"Wait." Starlight frowned. "Didn't you, just a minute ago, say something about how having a real job is for suckers?"

Trixie narrowed her eyes. "Sometimes, when creatures have bad habits, they artificially make a big deal about it. That helps reduce the tension and communicate shared awareness of the situation."

"Ah. Okay. Yes."

"Look. I know I really shouldn't be trusted to do a lot of jobs." Trixie glanced over to the side, adding under her breath, "Because a lot of jobs are boring and stupid." She cleared her throat and resumed speaking normally. "But I'm not just a joke. I can do some things. I can be a showmare, and I can be a guidance counselor."

Starlight nodded, eyes sad. "Right. And when I took over with Ocellus, that made you feel like I didn't trust you to do the job?"

"Yeah. It was like..." Trixie failed at not seeming sad. "...like you didn't take me seriously." She cleared her throat in hopes it would not hitch. "I get that all the time... and it's tolerable! Because I'm tough, and because it's mostly dumb ponies doing it! But. I don't want to feel it. Um. From you."

Starlight looked at the floor for a moment, then made hesitant eye contact again. "I'm sorry, Trixie. It annoyed me when the committee did that to me, but... yeah, I never thought they looked down on me like you're saying. I don't relate to it, so it didn't occur to me you'd be sensitive about it."

Trixie chuckled. "Well, of course. You're Starlight. No one's going to think you're a joke. You..."

"No!" Starlight snapped. "Stop saying ponies think you're a joke! It makes me really upset. I wish I could do what you do!"

"'Do?' What..."

"You put yourself out there!" Starlight interrupted. "Everyone notices you, and you make sure no one forgets you. And it's really you! If anyone thinks you're a joke, it's just because everypony else is too ashamed to show all the little parts of themselves, but you do. It doesn't even occur to you not to." She shook her head in wide-eyed amazement. "It's incredible." She coughed softly. "Um, okay, and it drives me completely crazy sometimes, too. But I'm envious! It's not something to feel bad about."

Trixie sat and blinked for a few moments. "You're really mad about this."

"Well, it's true! And look, I know you don't get along with all of my friends, but I really don't think they think that about you. They were all really supportive of you being the new guidance counselor. Everypony knows you're a good guidance counselor, and I'll try hard to not make you think I don't. No matter what." She blinked. "Well, not 'no matter what,' you still have to be professional. I just meant emotionally, not professionally, or..." She trailed off, squinting thoughtfully. "I reaaaaally shouldn't be my two best friends' boss, should I?"

"No, you should. It's great." Trixie smiled broadly, and then threw her hoof around Starlight's shoulder, flinging herself enthusiastically against her friend. "I'm not mad anymore!"

"Oof!" Starlight buckled slightly under the sudden contact, but she stayed up. "I'm, uh, glad."

Trixie trotted happily off to the hotel door and opened it. "Before we got sidetracked, I believe you were telling me how super-gorgeous I look in my dress?" she called over her shoulder. "Tell me more about that. I want details!"

"Hey, Trixie!" Starlight ran after her, distracted and blushing. But, Trixie couldn't help but notice, she didn't look nervous anymore at all.

"It's not like I don't know what genders are," Ocellus explained, waving her tiny yak hooves around helplessly. "We have genders. We have three. It's just... different."

Buster did not stop delightedly braiding her thick yak hair. "Uh huh," he muttered. She could feel his hooves and teeth poking and pulling on the back of her head; it was a very strange sensation. "Different how?"

"I don't even know how to say it!" She gestured out to the mass of creatures milling around the street fair. "Everyone is something, right?" She indicated a skinny, long-legged pegasus stallion strutting along. "Like, that pony is a 'he,' right? And you're a 'he.' But you don't look the same to me at all. It's on the inside."

"Huh." Buster was silent for a moment, then Ocellus felt a weird tug that was probably him shrugging. "Well, tell me about your three genders, then. How's that work?"

"Three genders!?" Pinkie Pie's voice yipped, startling Ocellus. The laughter instructor was suddenly back, holding a tray with three different, brightly colored objects stuck into it. "Are you sure you're old enough to hear about this, Ocellus?"

"I... think so?" Ocellus glanced down at the carrying tray Pinkie had, trying not to betray any emotions. "What are those?"

"Ee!" Pinkie flashed an enormous, delighted grin. "Snow cones! Don't tell me you've never had a snow cone?!"

"Um." Ocellus remembered not to move her head around too much so Buster could do his work, but in her heart, she recoiled back at least a few centimeters. "Are they supposed to be... colored like that?"

"Duh! They're sweet and frosty and delicious! Purple's my favorite, but I love them all! Here, pick one!"

Ocellus looked at the three snow cones, bemused. One was green, one purple, one orange. They all looked like hallucinations.

She hesitantly reached down and picked up the green one. Pinkie squealed, then held the tray behind Ocellus's head. "Uh, I'll have orange," Buster said. "Promise you won't tell Applebloom I'm eating anything orangey."

"Promise! Want me to hold it until you're done?"

"Thanks."

By this point, Ocellus had almost mustered up the courage to put the strange, green thing into her mouth. She scrunched up her face in determination, closed her eyes, and took a bite.

"Isn’t it ammmmaaaaaazing?!" Pinkie enthused.

It was not amazing. It tasted like smarminess and violence. The green nightmare coated her entire yak mouth, and it was all she could do to swallow. But she forced her eyes open and smiled as sincerely as she could to Pinkie.

"The best part is, it'll turn your tongue green! See?!" Pinkie stuck out her own tongue, which was already bright purple. Ocellus decided not to mention that she could change her tongue's colors any time she wanted, because her teacher was so delighted, the whole thing was really starting to feel like a laughter lesson. She just nodded.

"Um, so, our gender's kinda hard to talk about," she said, hoping it was appropriate to segue back to the original topic and noticing no feedback otherwise. "I don't think you really have words for it. There's what I am most of the time, and that's pretty much what you call 'she.' And then there's something like what you call 'he.' But we also have, um, I've heard them called 'workers?'"

"Hum," Buster grunted. "So workers are in the middle?"

"N...no, because shes and workers are close, and hes are more different. I... actually don't think ponies are very good at telling shes and workers apart. Workers are... well, they can't become queens, but that's a whole other thing." She thought for a moment. "Shes usually blink more than workers! Workers blink the least. Does that help?"

"The important thing is that you're a she," Buster said gruffly. "Right? You know you're a she, just like I know I'm a he. So what's the problem?"

"It's not the same," Ocellus objected. "Because for me, being a she is... okay, so, other changelings tell me it used to be each gender had a different job. The shes explored new territory, the workers gathered emotions near the hive, and the hes dug tunnels. So shes are 'out' and workers are 'up' and hes are 'down.' And I guess I feel pretty out-y, living in Ponyville and everything. But that's not who I am! If I got uppier, I'd get more workery. But that means I have to be a changeling on the inside, because I can't be a worker yak. Except maybe I can? Yona would probably say yaks are the best at gender. But sometimes I'm, like, a chest of drawers, and those don't even have genders. Or do they? What do you think?"

"I think your braids are done," Buster replied, stepping away.

"I really hope I haven't been misgendering my chest of drawers!" Pinkie squeaked. Then she relaxed. "No. We have a good relationship. If Dame Sockbelly was upset with me, she'd let me know."

Buster paused, then made a clear decision not to think too hard about it. He stepped in front of Ocellus, holding up a small mirror. "Oh, wow!" Ocellus marveled. "It looks so good!" It was true: her braids were more complex than Yona's usually were, but they were just as tight and ropelike. "It looks really... yak. You know? It looks like they do it. You're really good!"

Buster smirked proudly and took his orange snow cone. "Thanks. So, I can't help you with any of that gender stuff; I don't know what you're even friggin' talking about. But I'm getting pretty good at this."

Ocellus smiled, feeling and tasting that familiar friendship tang. "Thanks for hanging out with us tonight. I... hope you didn't miss anything important with the rest of the committee."

"Psh, you kidding? I'm just glad to have a break from all the drama! Gus and Northern Lights keep hooking up and then fighting and then hooking up again, and Pippy still hates Luna, and pretty much everyone has a crush on Gold Star, including Mr. Stripes's daughter, which is a nightmare, and Steven... you know, Steven's great, but they suck up a lot of the oxygen in a room sometimes. Or... they suck up a lot of the water in the... you know what I mean! I needed a night to just hang out and braid someone's mane."

Ocellus felt herself smiling, partly at the words and partly at how delicious everycreatures' feelings were at the moment. They sat and pony-watched for a bit.

"I used to be jealous of changelings," Buster remarked, completely out of nowhere.

Ocellus blinked. "You did? I… thought ponies were afraid of us."

"Nah. You can just... change." Buster's face was its typical collection of hard lines and gruffness, but there was a little bit of something else there, too. "Ponies can't." Casually and quietly, Pinkie reached to her side and placed her hoof on Buster's shoulder. "But it's never that simple for anycreature, is it?"

"I... don't think I understand," Ocellus admitted.

"Eh, fuggetaboutit."

Normally a dismissal like that would leave Ocellus anxious and perturbed, like there was unspoken trouble and unfinished business. But this was different; Buster's grin was honest and sweet. She nodded. "I will forget about it," she promised sincerely.

They sat there in silence a few minutes more, just taking in the throngs of celebrators.

It was not the kind of bar Moon Dancer would have chosen for herself, but she knew she would easily be outvoted. It didn’t take much to discern that Miss Pommel shared a “wine and cheese” kind of vibe with the other members of their little double date.

So, after Fluttershy (with almost no apologizing, happily) ordered herself a glass of sweet rosé, and Rarity ordered a bottle for herself and Coco, Moon Dancer was forced to select from the paltry beer options.

She ordered a pale ale from Geldgium, preparing herself for a judgy response from the waiter, but it never came. Whether it was because this place was less snooty than most wine-focused places, or because it was so crowded from pride that he was overworked, she couldn’t tell. It had an olive bar, though. She felt a completely unreasonable amount of contempt towards that olive bar.

But after their drinks arrived and Rarity excused herself for a strangely extended bathroom trip, she realized it provided an unexpected treat: Fluttershy apparently loved fancy olives, and watching her enjoy herself so purely made Moon Dancer happier than she had ever been.

“Oooh,” Fluttershy murmured, smiling adorably. She passed one of the little black ones over to Coco. “Try this one!”

Coco popped it in her mouth, chewing with thoughtful happiness. “Oh, I like it a lot,” she enthused. “It’s… a little tangy, and not too sweet.” They both grinned at each other and it was legitimately the cutest thing Moon Dancer had ever seen. Miss Coco glanced over at her. “Are you sure you don’t want any?”

“I’m fine,” Moon Dancer replied. She was currently willing to spend her life savings on olives for her fiancee, but that didn’t change that she despised the taste. “It wouldn’t really pair well with this, anyway,” she added, holding up her beer.

“Mm, I guess that makes sense,” Coco said. “I guess they expect everyone to order wine, here.”

“I feel a little silly,” Moon Dancer admitted. “I’ve just never liked wine. Every time I’ve tried… bleh, it just tastes like a rubber tire marinating in vinegar, to me.”

Miss Pommel giggled. “I’m the same way with beer. But ever since I started living on my own, nothing helps me after a stressful day more than a glass of good wine.” She paused, then blushed. “I mean… it’s not even the alcohol. I can just think about all the flavors. The… aesthetics of it? I guess?” She paused, then blushed even more. “I probably sound very haughty.”

“Ha!” Moon Dancer smirked. “I’m from Canterlot, so I have high standards for my elitism. I’m an elitism elitist, you might say. You having good taste doesn’t quite match up, sorry to say.”

“Oh. Well. Thanks.” Coco held up her glass, smiling. “Getting to enjoy this would make it worth it anyway, probably. I need to be careful, or I’ll drink the whole bottle before Rarity even comes back.”

Moon Dancer noticed Fluttershy frowning very slightly. Rarity had been in the bathroom for a while. With the chemistry she and Coco seem to be having, it was surprising she wasn’t rushing back.

There was a pause; it might or might not have been uncomfortable (Moon Dancer felt like it was, but she also knew she had a lot of false positives with that sort of thing). “So,” Miss Pommel ventured finally, “That committee was really something, huh? It seems like you’ve met a lot of them before, but I was kind of intimidated!”

“Oh, believe me, I was freaking out, too,” Moon Dancer agreed. “I’m… actually relieved to hear at least one pony didn’t notice.”

Fluttershy smiled empathically to Coco. “Was it Steven?”

“Um, yeah. Partly.”

Moon Dancer nodded. “Believe me, I get it. He’s j—” She shook her head, scowling at her own boneheadness. “Grrph. Sorry. They are just so big! But they’re also a real sweetheart.”

“Yeah.” Coco fiddled with her wine glass uncomfortably. “It was also… Luna. One of the former rulers of Equestria! It was incredible just seeing her!”

“Ahhhh,” Moon Dancer replied. “Yeah. See, I guess we’re a little unique, there. It’s kinda hard to be intimidated by that when you’ve seen the current ruler of Equestria accidentally put hot sauce instead of ketchup on her sandwich and then scream when she ate it.”

“Well… okay, but Princess Twilight is approachable. Luna’s different!”

“I was afraid of Luna at first, too,” Fluttershy assured Coco. “But she is a very nice pony. And maybe even a little… um. Nerdy?”

Miss Pommel gaped. “Nerdy?”

“Mm-hmm. Inside, she’s much more awkward and anxious than she seems on the outside. It always helps me to remember that most ponies I find scary are like that.” Fluttershy took a sip of her wine and then blushed. “Most ponies. I don’t think Mr. Stripes is anything but what he seems. He was the one I was intimidated by.”

“Oh, that’s funny,” Moon Dancer remarked. “Because I was freaking out that Dr. Pippy was there! We were all anxious for totally different reasons.”

“Dr. Pippy?” Miss Pommel asked.

“Yeah, the donkey? She’s a historian and philosopher. Three PhDs. Great writer, too. She’s probably the reason they were saying all that stuff about being inclusive. I know Twilight read a lot of her stuff to prepare for teaching the Friendship School.”

“Huh.” Miss Pommel smiled nervously and adorably. “Thanks. I was worried I was alone and weird for feeling anxious.”

Moon Dancer laughed. “Trust me, you will never be alone in feeling anxious when you hang out with us!” She raised an eyebrow, glancing over at her fiancée. “Um, but speaking of anxious, I’m getting kinda concerned about what’s taking Rarity so long.”

Fluttershy, luckily, picked up on the cue. “Me too. I’ll go check on her.” With a demure smile, she excused herself to go to the restroom.

They were quiet for a moment. Coco, with an uncomfortable but genuine smile, poured herself a tiny bit more wine, probably just for something to do with her hooves. Moon Dancer suddenly felt like she knew what having a little sister is like.

“I bet I know what you’re thinking,” she remarked.

Miss Pommel looked up in surprise. “Um?”

“I’ve been in the same position,” Moon Dancer explained. “The Elements of Harmony. Famous for not only saving Equestria dozens of times, but also representing perfect friendship skills. It feels like they’re on some level above you.”

“Oh. …Yeah.” Miss Pommel glanced over at the bottle, clearly caught between her desire for more alcohol and her fear of how bad it would look if half was gone before Rarity even poured her first glass.

“I’m kind of lucky, because for me, it was Fluttershy,” Moon Dancer continued. “She’s so gentle, I was in love with her before it even really resonated with me that she was a superhero. Before I even knew it, we were almost engaged. The hardest part was her pet rabbit. Don’t ask.”

Miss Pommel blinked up at her, suddenly alarmed. “I’m not! I! I don’t think it’s really the same thing for me and Rarity!”

Moon Dancer pulled back, surprised. “Huh? Why not?”

“I mean… I’m not assuming it’s the same thing!” Coco clarified. She hung her head shyly. “I guess it’s probably easy to tell that I’d like it, if it was. But I don’t necessarily think that Rarity would…” She trailed off and went ahead and poured herself another half glass. “…you know.”

“Miss Pommel.” Moon Dancer stared at her companion. “Hey. Look at me.”

Gulping, Coco made eye contact. She was actually sweating, she was so nervous. Moon Dancer hadn’t noticed before.

“It’s not my place to tell you anything I might know about Rarity’s intentions,” Moon Dancer said. “But I’ll just say: what you’re worrying about? You don’t have to worry about it.” She leaned forward. “So you can relax. Get me?”

“Oh.” Coco paused, then nodded. “…Really?”

“I didn’t say anything,” Moon Dancer replied, sipping her beer.

Coco nodded. And she even smiled a little. It was adorable. “Thank you,” she said. There was a pause, and then she added. “Congratulations on your, um, upcoming engagement. I’ve always thought Fluttershy was so sweet; it’s really nice she has somepony she loves.”

Moon Dancer felt herself smile-blushing; it felt nice. “Did you meet them all together?”

“Yes. It’s… kind of a long story. Um.” Miss Pommel coughed lightly. “She was very nice, I think? I didn’t pay much attention to anypony but Rarity.” She sipped her wine, relishing the memory. “She wasn’t like anyone I’d ever met. She was a good pony, she just gave and gave without even thinking about it. But… I don’t know how to put it. She was so joyful about being good. It made her day. I hadn’t known anyone could be like that.”

She paused, then cowered very slightly. “I knew ponies could be generous! But I didn’t know you could be generous and happy at the same time. I thought you had to choose. Maybe it’s pathetic I had to meet someone like Rarity to stop thinking that way, but I did. She is really, um. Special. Like that.”

“Heh.” Moon Dancer took a thoughtful sip and nodded. “It’s not pathetic, by the way. It’s the curse of being smart and anxious.”

“Oh! Well. I can be anxious sometimes…”

“The whole world is full of dangers and humiliations and disappointments. Disappointments are the worst, for me. But if you’re smart, you can figure out how to avoid it all. So, you make rules to follow that minimize the problem, and then you forget you made them up.”

Smirking, she noticed it was almost nostalgic to talk about the Dark Old Days. “You know what I did? I said, ‘I can’t be happy if I interact with other ponies.’ And once in a while someone would walk up and go, ‘Hey, aren’t you lonely and bored?’ And I’d go, ‘Who cares! I’m following the rules, so it’s got to be better than the alternative! No disappointment!’”

Coco stared at her with wide, wondering eyes, pressing a hoof against her mouth. “It’s… for me, it’s when anyone thinks I’m… naïve or a little filly. Because of the way I look. So… so I assumed anything bad was just the way things were, and I wouldn’t let myself question it, because everyone might think I’m naive. I’d work ninety hours a week, but that was better than finding out I was dumb to ever think I shouldn’t have to.” She hummed to herself quietly. “How did you stop thinking that way? Was it Fluttershy?”

“Nope, it was some other friends. A group of them. But Fluttershy’s a pretty happy ending.” Moon Dancer waggled her eyebrows. “Looks like your happy ending’s coming back from the bathroom, finally.”

Miss Pommel blushed, and it was just a few seconds later that Rarity reappeared at the table, smiling gregariously. “I am so sorry!” she enthused to Coco, sitting down very close to her colleague. “I’m afraid I had to reapply some of my make-up; you understand.” She filled her glass from the wine bottle and took a sip. “Ah, wonderful to relax with such pleasant company!”

Moon Dancer smiled, but she stopped when she noticed Fluttershy returning, a weirdly discomfited expression on her face. Moon Dancer raised an eyebrow, but Fluttershy kept looking at Rarity.

Their two companions were paying no attention at all, though. Coco blushingly indicated the wine bottle. “Do you like it? It’s one of my favorites, but it’s not exactly a traditional…”

“I adore it!” Rarity exclaimed. “And I’m hardly surprised, my dear. Your excellent taste is one of the many things I love about you.”

Nopony said anything. Fluttershy frowned uncomfortably and… a little angrily? Coco was completely frozen, like someone took a photograph of her exiting an extremely jarring carnival ride. Rarity seemed to not even realize what she’d said before a moment, and she coughed awkwardly. “Yes. It’s quite delicious,” she added.

She hovered the glass over to Moon Dancer and Fluttershy. “Would you like to taste it? The richness is exquisite.”

“No, thank you,” Fluttershy said, and Rarity didn’t react at all.

“Yeahhh, same for me,” Moon Dancer added. “I, uh, don’t think it’d taste very good after my beer.”

“Ohh you and your artisanal beers!” Rarity exclaimed weirdly. Laughing, she leaned over and pressed her hoof against Moon Dancer’s shoulder.

“Uh,” Moon Dancer said.

Rarity smirked at her with a half-lidded gaze and it was very surreal to see. “Why, one of the most cultured and brilliant ponies I know, and she doesn’t even drink wine.” She leaned over to Coco conspiratorially. “I don’t know how Fluttershy puts up with her. Well, other than her being so pretty, of course. Coco, don’t you think Moon Dancer is just so pretty?”

Coco looked like she wanted to immediately die; Fluttershy looked like she immediately wanted to commit murder. Moon Dancer suspected she looked like both.

Rarity just kept going: “You looked to be having such a deep conversation when we were coming back from the restroom! Why, I could see the two of you making an adorably wonderful couple, if she wasn’t already with Fluttershy.”

Very luckily, at that moment, the door to the wine bar slammed open, startling everyone inside. Photo Finish walked in, wearing a brown wig and flanked by her entourage.

“This is not a disguise!” she screeched.

Rarity and Fluttershy stared at the new arrivals, nonplussed, as a hostess led them to a table not too far away from their own. Photo Finish sat, directly facing them, staring.

Coco had both of her forehooves pressed against her face.

“Oh, dear,” Rarity remarked. “How strange!”

Moon Dancer knew two things about Photo Finish: she was some sort of living performance art piece, and she terrified Fluttershy. She noticed she was leaning close to her fiancée protectively, but Fluttershy barely even seemed bothered.

Rarity at least knew to protect her sensitive friend, even if she didn’t seem to need it at the moment. “I… suppose I should go say hello? Coco, would you like to come?”

Coco nodded, looking as if she was calculating in her head exactly how loudly she wanted to scream. “Just pardon us a moment, girls!” Rarity sang, and the two of them went over to Photo Finish’s table.

Moon Dancer looked over at her fiancée in alarm. “What happened in the bathroom?” she whispered frantically.

Fluttershy glowered, an odd sight. “Rarity is…” She trailed off, unable to find the words. “I don’t know. She’s not…”

“I do not know you!!” Photo Finish barked from the other table at their startled friends. “I am a pegasus and my name is Sky Horse!!!”

Fluttershy was thrown off her game by that. "I just don't know," she eventually said.

"Does she like Coco or not?" Moon Dancer asked. "It seemed so obvious, but now I don't know!"

Fluttershy just frowned helplessly and didn’t say anything else. But, when their friends returned, they were giggling, Rarity bumping affiliatively up against Miss Pommel.

“My goodness, I should stop thinking she can’t surprise me!” Rarity whispered laughingly. She leaned slightly against Coco. “Such a character.”

“I can’t believe she didn’t even try to put fake wings on or anything,” Coco chuckled, leaning back.

“I wonder why she’s here,” Rarity remarked. “Could it be Pride?” Coco opened her mouth, but Rarity cut her off. “Actually, no. I should refrain from gossip; it’s a terrible habit. One should look one’s best when trying to impress a beautiful mare, after all.”

Miss Pommel just closed her eyes, a serene smile on her face, and rested her head against Rarity’s shoulder.

Rarity gave her a slight nuzzle, and Moon Dancer felt herself smile. But then she noticed that Fluttershy still looked unhappy, maybe even more than before, so she looked again. There were small cues, in the sapphire eyes, in the slight clenching of the forehead, the tension in the shoulder Coco was touching. Rarity was uncomfortable.

She noticed that they noticed. No one said anything. Photo Finish began walking in a slow, wide circle around their table, staring at them through little opera binoculars.

The silence was broken by the waiter, whose tired friendliness would have been charming under other circumstances. “May I get anyone anything else?” he offered pleasantly. He nodded to Fluttershy. “Another glass of rosé, perhaps?”

Fluttershy opened her mouth to reply, but Rarity jostled forward, startling Miss Pommel and nearly making her fall over. “I’m very much interested in what you recommend,” she purred.

He paused for a moment. “If you enjoyed your previous bottle, I’d perhaps suggest the Fienile di Vino Gomosso, 944? It’s similar, but a bit fruitier. Less oaky.”

She rested her elbows on the table and her chin on her hooves, staring dreamily at the waiter. “How delightful,” she replied. “We’re so fortunate to have such a helpful and handsome stallion as our waiter!” She reached out and pressed her hoof against his leg, looking back at the others with starry eyes. “Isn’t he just so handsome?”

Coco’s expression was unreadable. “All right…” the waiter said hesitantly, probably sensing that whatever happening was bigger than him. “So, would you like a bottle of that, um…” he tapped the bottle next to Rarity lightly. “…after you’re done with the other half of this? Or…”

“No, thank you,” Fluttershy answered, glaring at Rarity.

“Ah,” the waiter replied. “Well then, I will be. Um.” No one said anything to him.

“I’m going to walk away, now,” he announced. He stiffly turned and left. Moon Dancer appreciated his social skill.

Fluttershy looked mildly irritated, which was a sign she was boiling over with rage, so Moon Dancer jumped to her hooves. “Rarity,” she announced firmly. “Come with me. I need olives.”

Rarity had the gall to look confused. “Olives? But...”

“Getting olives is a two-pony job!” Moon Dancer snapped. With no further explanation, she walked toward the olive bar. Thankfully, Rarity followed behind.

As soon as they got far enough away from their own table, Moon Dancer pulled Rarity off to a dark, somewhat secluded corner. There were still ponies everywhere, but Moon Dancer’s body language efficiently communicated that everyone should walk in a wide arc around them.

“What are you doing?!” Moon Dancer whisper-screeched.

Rarity opened her mouth, probably to feign ignorance again, but she caught herself. She was silent.

“I thought you were on a date with Miss Pommel! Why are you hitting on the waiter right in front of her? Or me?!” Rarity shrunk in on herself, which only made Moon Dancer more frustrated. “She really likes you. You know that, right? Her heart is breaking, over there! If you don’t like her, you need to tell her right now and get it over with!”

“I do like her,” Rarity replied, voice soft but ragged.

“Uggggh! Well, okay, back to the original question, then: what are you doing?”

Rarity let out an appalled little miserable laugh. “I don’t think I have the slightest idea,” she answered.

“Well, figure it out!” Moon Dancer snapped, before stomping away. As she passed the olive bar, she grabbed a magic blobful at random.

Walking back up to the table, she took a deep breath. She had mostly done that to spare Fluttershy from a confrontation she’d likely be guilty about, and because she knew her temper, utilized wisely, was very effective at setting ponies straight. But she was actually really mad, back there.

Coco’s hoof was on the table, with Fluttershy’s resting against it, but they weren’t saying anything. “I’m sorry about that,” Moon Dancer said, levitating the olives over to Fluttershy, who sweetly managed a grateful smile even in the midst of everything.

“It’s okay,” Coco replied softly. “You aren’t the one who… um. I mean. Thanks.”

And then, before anyone was ready, Rarity was back. “Coco,” she said, following it up with nothing.

Coco was cowering, looking around the room helplessly. She locked eyes with Photo Finish, who was taking pictures of them with a tiny camera, and frowned.

“Rarity.” Coco drew herself to her full (still small) height. She stared her date in the eyes firmly. “I like you. I’ve had a crush on you since we met. I really want to have a romantic relationship with you.”

Rarity did not reply. Her mouth fell open; she looked gobsmacked by Miss Pommel’s firmness.

“I need you to clearly answer a question for me,” Coco declared. “Something I’ve been wondering all night.” Her eyes were stern. “Is. This. A. Date.”

Rarity did not answer. She was sweating, terrified and tense.

“Yes or no.”

Rarity opened her mouth. She closed her mouth again. She said nothing. She just stared, helplessly.

Miss Pommel wilted like a week-old salad. “Okay,” she said, very softly, all traces of confidence gone. “I’m sorry I thought you might…”

She ran for the door, her first sob clearly audible to everyone at the table. “Miss Pommel!” Fluttershy called, taking a few steps after her. She paused and looked back. “I’m going after her. Please do not follow us, Rarity.” After sharing a nod of understanding with Moon Dancer, she scampered off.

Rarity didn’t try to follow them. She just stared at the table, an expression of forlorn bewilderment across her features.

Moon Dancer could hear her own voice echoing in her ears: Miss Pommel. What you’re worrying about? You don’t have to worry about it. A black hole of guilt opened up in her chest.

“I swear, I didn’t know this would happen,” Rarity murmured, not looking at her. “I didn’t know she would like me. I didn’t know I would like her. I thought it would just…” Her voice trailed off.

Moon Dancer realized the black hole in her chest was actually anger. “I have to leave,” she said simply. “And I hate olives.”

Rarity nodded. “Don’t worry about the check, darling,” she muttered weakly, still looking down at the floor. “Everything’s on me, tonight.”

Moon Dancer paused for one moment: was her rage keeping her from recognizing that Rarity shouldn’t be left alone? But her (girlfriend’s) friend didn’t look frantic or irrational. Just sad and confused. Satisfied, Moon Dancer stormed out.

Miss Pommel wasn’t fully crying; she was doing a half-crying thing where she’d sniffle every few seconds and there were tears, but she wasn’t giving herself over to sobs. Fluttershy worried her presence was counterproductive; she was keeping Coco from getting her feelings out. She hadn’t said anything since giving her address to the cabbie; maybe she should have just let her go alone?

But after a final sniffle, Miss Pommel looked up at her with a wavering smile. “Thank you,” she said. “I didn’t know what to do with myself after running out of there.”

Fluttershy smiled back, resting her hoof against Coco’s front leg. That appeared to be enough. It was quiet, except for the clop clop clop of the cabbie.

“I don’t want you to validate the thing I’m about to say,” Coco said. “I’m saying it out loud for my own sake.”

“All right.”

“I didn’t embarrass myself by thinking Rarity might like me back.”

Coco nodded to herself, but Fluttershy felt awkward. “Um… if it matters, I could validate it. Would you like me to?”

Coco thought for a moment. “Yes, please.”

“You didn’t embarrass yourself for thinking that.”

Coco leaned against her. “...Do you know… why she was acting like that?”

Fluttershy paused, frowning. Finally, she just said it: “I think… it might kind of. A little bit? Be. My fault. In a way. Indirectly.”

She did not receive the anger she half-expected. “Hm? What do you mean?”

“She… I think she’s upset that I’m getting married. She’s jealous and worried, and it’s making her...um. Not act her best..” Fluttershy took a deep breath, trying to keep from getting too anxious. “I’ve been able to tell she felt that way for a while, but I kept avoiding talking to her about it. I’m sorry.”

“It is not your fault!!” a stern voice barked from the seat next to her.

Fluttershy emitted a frantic squeak and dove over Miss Pommel in fright, cowering between her and the door. She quiveringly peeked over and saw, head flung back in pride, Photo Finish sitting there in the cab with them. Not a hair on her brown wig was out of place.

“How!” Fluttershy babbled. “How did… did you…”

“I sneak!!” Photo Finish screeched, as if that explained everything. Coco seemed decidedly less startled by this whole thing, and she just nodded in greeting.

“If she is envious of her friend, then she must be honest about it!” Photo Finish declared. “Even if it is difficult to do so! I am baffled and perplexed that she has not had cause to learn such a lesson yet. I COMFORT!” With that startling yelp, she reached over and patted Coco on the head twice.

“I finish comforting,” she informed them. “And the observations of Rarity’s body language are conclusive! She finds you attractive. But! She is too immature to date.”

Coco smiled and nodded. “Thank you.”

“I GO!” Photo Finish yelled, and she literally jumped out the window of the cab, rolled to a stop, and then trotted off like nothing extraordinary had happened.

Fluttershy was too gobsmacked to say anything for the entire rest of the cab ride. But Miss Pommel didn’t seem to mind. She already looked like she felt better.

For the first night, Trixie decided to start simple: a place that wasn’t too crowded or noisy and wouldn’t require too much of a wait to get in. Still for singles, but maybe a slightly older crowd. Not the most exciting place for her, but anything more would probably overwhelm poor Starlight, who looked to be freaking out just walking in and standing near the bar.

“All right,” Starlight said bluntly, “I’m going to do it.”

“Right away?” Trixie asked. “Before you even get a drink?”

“I have to, before I chicken out.” Starlight nodded her head in the vague direction of a lone pegasus who seemed to be waiting for her friends. “Her.” Starlight paced in place nervously. “I can do this, right? It’s easy. Just, ‘Hi, I’m Starlight Glimmer.’ Easy, right?”

“Easy!” Trixie agreed.

Starlight nodded once, fixed a grim look of determination on her face, and marched off towards the unsuspecting mare like a prisoner of war being led to the interrogation room.

Trixie scanned the crowd. The place was a little dead, but there seemed to be a decent number of mares who were likely on the market. A couple of them glanced in her direction. She flashed a coy smile.

“I’m back!” Starlight announced, appearing by her side suddenly.

Trixie raised an eyebrow. “Already?”

“I walked up to her, told her I was Starlight Glimmer, and then immediately walked back here! I think I’m ready to go back to the hotel now!”

“You’re kidding me.”

“Nope! I said the thing and looked at her and realized she was even prettier than I thought and my throat got tight and then I just left! Is she looking at me?”

Trixie glanced over at the object of Starlight’s affection. “Yes. She looks very confused.”

“Well, I’m more humiliated than ever before in my life! Trixie, this is the worst. It’s the worst! How have you done this a bunch of times?”

“It gets easier.”

“I certainly hope so!” Starlight took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. “Look, we have two more nights. Let me just get my freak-out out of the way tonight and I’ll do more tomorrow. You stay!”

“Hmph.” Trixie sat down, pouting. “Well. Fine. But I am not letting you do this tomorrow night or Saturday night! If I’m going to be really successful, I need my super-hot wingmare!”

Starlight groaned, blushing. “Yes. Okay. I promise. Is she still looking at me?”

“No. Her friends got here and she’s talking to them. She looks fine.”

“That’s a relief. I’ll see you in the morning, ok? Good luck.” Starlight leaned over and nuzzled Trixie briefly, then pulled back and awkwardly strode out of the club.

Trixie shrugged. It actually went better than she had expected. She headed to the bar and leaned against it, coolly scanning the crowd.

The bartender approached and nodded to her. “What’ll you have?”

“Give me the bluest drink you can make.”

The bartender stared. “The… what?”

Trixie did not clarify. The bartender shrugged and went to work.

The drink Trixie received was blue enough. Not the bluest she’d ever had, but a decent seven on the blue scale. She handed some bits over and took a sip.

“Trixie,” said a voice next to her. It was a familiar voice, but delivered with an unusually musical timbre.

Trixie looked to her left. A white unicorn stood there, looking fabulous, giving her a half-lidded gaze.

Trixie blinked. “What are you doing here?”

“I should hope it’s obvious, darling.”

“Huh.” Trixie shrugged, sipping more of her cocktail. “Should I even bother using a pick-up line?”

“Oh, why not. Give me your best one. A lady likes to feel flattered.”

“Well, too bad. I don’t use pick-up lines. My stunning beauty does the job by itself.”

Rarity smirked. She took a step closer.

Femme de la Femme

FRIDAY ITINERARY

Breakfast!!

Rarity goes and apologizes to Miss Pommel, because yikes!

Rarity and Fluttershy have a talk, because double-yikes!

Everyone who wants goes to the parade!!!!! (this is gonna be my favorite part)

We’re all on our own for dinner

Starlight and Trixie go out to a club!!

Moon Dancer asks Fluttershy to marry her?!??!!!!!?

After Rarity woke up, she kept her eyes closed for a little while. She figured, the longer she kept her eyes closed, the longer it would be before she had to look herself in the mirror. She knew she wanted to stave that off as long as possible, but she didn’t know if it was because of her shame or because of how her mane and make-up probably looked.

When she finally couldn’t hide in the dark any longer, the first thing she saw was Trixie sprawled out next to her, somehow equally shameless in slumber as when she was awake, mane and make-up still looking fantastic.

Rarity sighed. “I always have to go all-out, don’t I?” she muttered to herself.

“Have a pancakes,” Trixie said.

Rarity sighed again, a bit more dramatically than the first time.

“Pancakes don’t bounce, idiot,” Trixie protested.

Rarity reached out and delicately shook her bedmate’s shoulder. Trixie feebly waved her hooves like swatting at a gnat, then groaningly pried an eyelid open. Her eye darted around the room aimlessly then settled on Rarity. She glared. “You woke me up.”

“I did, because…”

“I was having a great dream. I was the pope of pancakes.” She shlubbishly rolled off the bed and landed on her hooves in what was admittedly an impressive feat of agility. “Ugg, hold on.” Mumbling, she walked into the bathroom, turned on the faucet, and stuck her face into the running water, holding it there for at least five seconds.

Thus refreshed(?), she turned off the water and walked back over to Rarity. “Okay. Hi. What. Why’d you wake me up?”

“I… just was…”

“Pancake four square!” Trixie suddenly yelped, as if realizing the answer to a difficult riddle.

Rarity just looked back at her, completely unable to think of a response.

“You know… four square?” Trixie explained. “The game?”

“I think I’ve seen it?”

Trixie opened her mouth to speak, then paused. “Huh. It was one of those things where I was dreaming and there was pancake four square. And I was like, ‘Hey, this is brilliant; everypony is going to want to play this! I need to remember this when I wake up!’ But… it doesn’t really make much sense in the real world, does it?” She scowled at Rarity. “Now I’m awake, and I don’t have a million-bit idea after all, and I’m hungry for pancakes. Why did you do this to me?”

Rarity realized she was hugging the bedsheets to herself nervously. She tried to relax. “I simply woke up and realized I really should go back to my room to prepare for the day.”

“Yeah, you look pretty bad,” Trixie confirmed.

“Yes.” Rarity had known this would be the difficult part of the whole process. All of their hotel rooms were in a row, with Trixie’s, then her own, then Fluttershy and Moon Dancer, then Starlight. She had successfully maneuvered them into Trixie’s room the night before, so there was no danger of anyone hearing anything through the appallingly thin walls. But finessing the dismount was proving tricky. “So. I was thinking I should go back to my room.”

“Uh, okay,” Trixie said.

Rarity glanced at the door and then back at Trixie.

“Bye,” Trixie said.

“My dear, you do realize that I am a lady,” Rarity began delicately. “And as a lady, it would be terribly uncouth for me to simply walk out of somepony else’s hotel room.”

Trixie raised an eyebrow. “So you live here now?”

“No, I simply wonder if there might be some more subtle ways to get to my room? You’ve been practicing magic, and I heard you’re quite an accomplished teleporter. Don’t you think you could…” she waved her hooves around vaguely. “...Poof us both over there and then poof right back?”

Trixie didn’t say anything for a moment; she squinted thoughtfully, as if considering Rarity’s suggestion carefully. Finally, a blithe smile popped rather suddenly onto her face and she shrugged. “Do you really want me to do that? You know, every time you teleport, you die.”

Rarity blinked in surprise. “I’m sorry?”

“Teleporting kills you. I thought every unicorn knew that. We can’t really teleport anything, so we just make a copy somewhere else and destroy the original.”

“I don’t…” Rarity rubbed her temple. “That couldn’t possibly be true.”

“Of course it’s true! Ask Starlight if you don’t believe me. Or whatshername, that friend of yours. The princess with the wings.”

“You are clearly fooling with me. I’ve seen you teleport. You wouldn’t do that if it killed you.”

Trixie grinned. “The Great and Powerful Trixie lives whole lifetimes in a single day!!, so I have nothing to fear.”

Rarity crossed her front legs over her chest petulantly and humphed. “I was hoping you’d be a gentlemare to a lady in distress.”

Trixie raised an eyebrow testily. “You're ashamed for your friends to see you leaving my room. Why should I even want to help you?”

“I’m not…!” Rarity hopped out of the bed, unsure if she was alarmed by Trixie being appallingly on the nose or by her being appallingly incorrect. “I’m not ashamed!”

Trixie just nodded. “Okay then, I’m going to go tell Fluttershy we just hooked up.”

“No, don’t!!” Rarity rushed forward to stop Trixie from leaving the room. Trixie just rolled her eyes. She had not moved.

After a frantic moment, Rarity hung her head. “Fine, then. I am ashamed, but it isn’t about you. I made some terrible mistakes last night with Coco Pommel, and seeking you out afterwards was not the most mature manner in which I could have responded.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t gonna ask, but yeesh. Figured your date thing must not have gone well.”

“That’s an understatement, darling. So couldn’t you humor me? I’ve never had the knack of magic like teleportation, you see.”

Trixie glared for a few more moments and then sighed. “Fine, fine, fine. But I seriously can’t help. Think about it! They enchant the walls; hotels can’t have ponies teleporting in and out of rooms.”

“One would think, if they cared about such things, they would also bother to make the walls more soundproof,” Rarity muttered sourly.

“Soundproofing walls kills you, too,” Trixie remarked. “Being a unicorn is dangerous.” Rarity really tried to keep from reacting to this, but she failed. “Ha!” Trixie exclaimed. “I made you smile. That means I win.”

“I am not smiling,” Rarity insisted, not bothering to hide her smile. She raised her nose in the air haughtily. “And besides, if that’s the game, I’m still winning after last night,” she grunted, eliciting a gregarious laugh from her companion.

“Oh, whatever,” Trixie said, shaking her head. “If it’s so important to you, I’ll go out in the hall first and scope it out. If no one’s there, you can make a run for your room.”

“I suppose that’s the best we can do.” Rarity trotted up and nuzzled Trixie briefly. “Thank you. For this. And for last night.”

“Yeah yeah, sure,” Trixie replied breezily. She walked to the door, but then she paused and glanced back. “And sorry about that earth pony girl, last night. Seems like you liked her.”

Rarity paused in surprise and then smiled. “I feel a little better now.”

“Well duh, with such a generous and supportive friend around, of course you do!” Without waiting for a response, Trixie grabbed the door handle with her magic. “Ready to turn something as mundane as walking next door into an unnecessarily dramatic caper?”

“Oh please, darling. I do that every day.”

Trixie pondered that for a moment. “Me too, I guess.” Then she pulled open the door and darted into the hallway.

“...Honey?”

Fluttershy looked up from her green tea, eyes dopey. “Hmm?”

“Are you feeling all right?” Moon Dancer took a sip of her (horrible, bland, corporate but very convenient) Starbucks espresso and tilted her head in concern.

“Um. Yes. I guess.” Fluttershy hunched her shoulders slightly. “I have a teeny tiny bit of a headache, but I’m okay.”

“A headache?”

“Yes.” Fluttershy’s expression was not quite pouty, but she was getting there. “Just a normal headache.”

Moon Dancer raised an eyebrow. “...are you hung over?”

Fluttershy hunched her shoulders more. “No. Maybe. Don’t make fun of me.”

Moon Dancer couldn’t keep from smiling and leaning in towards her girlfriend. The nuzzle was accepted, but Fluttershy maintained a relatively sour expression throughout.

"You know the worst part of a hangover is, right?" Moon Dancer asked. Fluttershy looked up, raising an eyebrow, and Moon Dancer smirked. "The ringing in your ears. The clangover."

Fluttershy lay her head, face down, on the table.

"Are you having a pangover?" Moon Dancer asked. "Like your head's being pierced by a fangover?"

Fluttershy moaned.

"I don't mean to harangueover. I'd hate to cause Sturm und Drangover."

"Stooooooppppppp." Fluttershy lifted her head with a pleading whimper. "You're. You're making me confused and upset at the same time. Honey, I'm confused and upset. Do you know I need now?" Moon Dancer frowned, already starting to curse her apparent misreading of the mood, but then Fluttershy answered her own question. "An interrobangover."

Moon Dancer had to clamp her hoof over her mouth to keep her laughter from startling other hotel guests. Fluttershy giggled, softly, proudly.

Moon Dancer realized she'd fallen in love again. “Okay, seriously, I have a spell I can cast on you, if you want.”

Fluttershy glanced around nervously: creatures milled about through various parts of the lobby, but the lounge area they occupied was empty. She nodded, looking absolutely pitiful, almost certainly on purpose.

Moon Dancer cast the spell. Fluttershy glowed white for a moment and then visibly relaxed the muscles in her face. “Thank you.”

“Of course. I knew I’d probably have to cast it a few times this weekend, so I’ve been practicing.” She sipped her drink and glanced sideways at Fluttershy. “Though I didn’t think I’d have to do it from someone just having one glass of wine.”

Fluttershy stuck her tongue out playfully and took a relishing inhale of her tea. “I guess I’m getting old.”

“Starlight’s older than you, and she’s going out all night.”

“Rainbow Dash used to make fun of me for always acting like such an old lady,” Fluttershy mused. “Maybe I’ve always been old. I just had to wait for my body to grow into it.”

Moon Dancer started to reply, but she noticed a small form hesitantly approaching their table. “Oh, good morning,” she said, waving.

“Uh, hi,” Ocellus replied. “I haven’t really had anything to eat since yesterday afternoon. Is it okay if I hang out with you for a little bit?”

“Of course,” Fluttershy said, already fully in Teacher Of The Month mode.

“Do you need us to be more lovey-dovey, or something?” Moon Dancer asked.

“No, just you two being together is fine,” Ocellus answered, which Moon Dancer could not help but take as a compliment. “It’s also nice to just be somewhere quiet after the crowds last night!”

“Did it go well, spending time with Buster?” Fluttershy asked. “Are you any closer to reaching any conclusions?”

“Oh, Buster was great!” Ocellus said enthusiastically, before frowning and shrinking in on herself. “But I don’t think I got any closer to what I was looking for. Um…” She looked up at them cautiously. “Professor Fluttershy, what you were saying before about being old… is that true? Can ponies be a different age on the inside, too?”

“Oh! Um, no, not really.” Moon Dancer had really not seen much of her special somepony as a Patient, Confident Instructor, and it was not having a minor effect on her. “It was just kind of a funny way of saying I don’t like excitement too much.”

“That’s a relief,” Ocellus sighed. “It’s been hard enough figuring out what I am already. I don’t know how I’d even start to think about another dimension.”

Fluttershy nodded with sympathy. “Well, have you considered that maybe you’re overthinking it?”

Ocellus gasped, looking appalled by the very concept. Moon Dancer was distracted by imagining Fluttershy peering over the rims of small reading glasses, but she heard herself gasp too, just out of pure, automatic instinct, apparently.

“I know you prefer thinking about things,” Fluttershy clarified to Ocellus but glancing at her girlfriend. “But that’s not the best way to solve every problem. Maybe just try seeing what feels right?”

Ocellus frowned in thought. “Well. I do like to be in touch with my feelings…”

“And you’re very good at it,” Fluttershy hummed in such a way that Moon Dancer could easily imagine her using to praise all her very best students. “Maybe just try doing that today and see if it helps.”

“Yes,” Moon Dancer agreed, not really knowing what she was agreeing with.

“I will,” Ocellus promised, nodding with sincere conviction. She pulled her recorder out and clicked it on. “Friday morning: Professor Fluttershy suggests I try just seeing what feels right. As a result, I plan to spend the morning engaged in journaling, meditation, and meditative journaling. More later.” She clicked it off and smiled at them. “Thank you! I think I’ll go back up to my room, now.”

“Oh… are you sure you ate enough?” Fluttershy asked.

“Yeah. Um.” Ocellus glanced at Moon Dancer awkwardly. “I’m pretty full, actually.” She waved. “Bye!”

Fluttershy waved. Moon Dancer didn’t realize she should until it was already too late.

“Oh, I’m very proud of her,” Fluttershy mused. “It’s been hard for her, transitioning from how things were with Chrysalis. She…”

Moon Dancer abruptly stood up. “We have to go back to our room,” she announced.

Fluttershy blinked in surprise. “...What? Why?”

“Because.” Moon Dancer turned to her, eyes flaming with intensity. “You’re a professor. You’re Professor Fluttershy.”

“....yes? I am?” Fluttershy scratched her head in confusion. “You knew that already.”

“Yes, I knew it. But I didn’t know it. Get me?”

“Not at all.”

Moon Dancer took a step forward. “You are a professor. Which means I can be your student. I can demonstrate my knowledge.” She paused. “...And earn a good grade.”

Fluttershy’s blush indicated she figured out what her fiancee was talking about, but the blush didn’t stop her from smiling slyly. “I suppose it might be time to… to have a surprise pop quiz.” She paused, then nodded. “Yes, that’s good, because I don’t actually do pop quizzes in my real classes. It keeps things separate.”

“Uh huh,” Moon Dancer said. “I can’t really listen to words right now, but yes. Upstairs?”

“Upstairs,” Fluttershy confirmed, turning and heading to the elevator. Moon Dancer followed behind, nerdy and grinning.

Rarity walked down the hallway as slowly as she could while still moving forward. She had remembered that Coco’s building, although huge and ominous from the outside, was actually quite warm and inviting within. The decor and colors were a mix of ultra-modern and quaint antique, funky and odd without crossing over into kitsch. The carpets were a rich garnet; the wallpaper displayed faded roses. As urbane as Rarity had become, it was hard for her to imagine growing up in a huge city. These details made it clearer.

Noticing all of this did not stop Miss Pommel’s apartment door from looming before her like a grizzly bear. The very prospect of knocking on that door was terrifying. Not quite as terrifying as it’d been to enjoy a pleasant date with an attractive pony she liked, but close.

Without thinking about it any more, she raised her hoof and knocked.

There was a pause and movement from the other side. Rarity steeled herself, marveling she could be afraid of seeing such a small, adorable mare. The door slowly opened.

Coco was much, much larger than she used to be. She also wore sunglasses, and she had styled her mane into an impressive pompadour. “Ah, Rarity!” she greeted. “How delightful to see you again, despite the unfortunate circumstances.”

Rarity’s brain did not catch up to what was happening for at least three or four full seconds, but Hoity Toity did not seem to mind or even notice. He stared off over her shoulder, chin high, waiting to be acknowledged.

“A...ah, yes!” Rarity replied finally. She couldn’t think of anything else to say.

Hoity Toity raised an eyebrow.

“It’s wonderful to see you too, darling!” Rarity continued. “I… must apologize; I did not expect to see you here.” His eyebrow raised higher. “Ehh, well, of course I had heard you were in Manehattan this month! I had meant to thank you for stopping by Rarity For You; my entire staff was besides themselves with excitement! I simply… had hoped to speak to Miss Pommel about a bit of a personal matter.”

“Indeed, indeed.” Hoity Toity never turned his face directly towards her, and his face remained a pleasant smile, but somehow she knew that behind his sunglasses, he was staring intently. “She contacted me early this morning, and I simply had to rush over. She’s in quite a state. Such a sensitive one, but then again, these outre geniuses often are…”

“Oh…” Rarity sagged, feeling cold and cruel. “Did she tell you why she was upset?”

“Yes, but to be honest, the whole thing was a bit incoherent. I gathered that you were involved, however, so I’m quite relieved you’re here.”

Rarity heard a noise down the hall; she looked to see a pony leaving his apartment and walking away from her. “Ah, is Coco inside? I admit to feeling a bit awkward having this conversation in the doorway.”

“Yes, she’s in the other room," Hoity Toity replied, clearly not feeling the least bit awkward having this conversation in the doorway. "And I simply want to clear this misunderstanding up before we go any further. Why, at certain points in our conversation, it almost sounded as if you led her on in a romantic sense, only to dash her hopes!”

“Eeeg,” Rarity grunted, ears flat on her head. “Well…”

“I know, it would be such a scandal!” he exclaimed. “Miss Pommel has become quite popular in our little community; she has many dear friends, and I include myself among them. Why, if you had treated her cruelly, who knows if your career would ever recover.”

Rarity stared at him with wide eyes, but he laughed casually. “Oh, don’t worry, I don’t believe it for a second.” He leaned closer and spoke under his breath. “Miss Pommel is delightful, but she is… innocent, yes? A filly like that could easily misinterpret things.”

“Hoity T…”

“Tut tut, my dear. It’s obvious what’s happened: a naive little mare got some foolish ideas in her head and confused your generous nature with interest, and…”

“Now, see here, Hoity Toity!” Rarity snapped. “I simply won’t have you saying such things! Coco was a delightful companion, and it was my own beastly behavior that ruined the evening! And if you are truly her friend, you will not act like this behind her back!”

Hoity Toity didn’t respond for a moment; Rarity suddenly realized that he had probably never been talked to like that for his entire adult life; she wondered why she wasn’t afraid. “Well then,” he said. “How about that.” And to her shock, he took a step back, gesturing with his hoof. “Please come in.”

Too surprised to speak, she complied. After closing the door behind her, he walked over to the bedroom and knocked. After a moment, the door hesitantly opened and Coco stuck her head out.

“She didn’t do it,” Hoity Toity announced.

Coco sighed. She looked at Rarity, then back to him. “Did she even pause to think about it?”

“Not for a moment.”

“Of course not.” Coco walked mopily out into the living room. “Hi, Rarity.”

“Wait.” Rarity looked around as if some detail in the room would clear the situation up for her. “This was…”

“Hoity Toity said he would say those things to you if you showed up,” Coco explained. “To see if you’d care more about your career than me.”

“I’m terribly sorry about the deception!” Hoity Toity added. “It was all my idea. I majored in drama, you see, but I never get the chance to actually do any acting. I couldn’t resist!”

“This was… some sort of test?” Rarity asked, blinking at Coco in bewilderment. “You wouldn’t see me unless I defended you?”

“No, I was going to see you either way,” Coco interrupted sadly. “I just…” She sighed again. “This would just all be easier if you weren’t such a wonderful pony.”

“Neither of us thought for a moment you’d do anything else!” Hoity Toity assured Rarity. “Not that it truly mattered. If romantic drama ruined fashion careers, Prim and I would have drummed one another out of the business a hundred times already!”

Rarity sat down on the floor, trying desperately to get her bearings. “I must admit I’m…” She glanced at Hoity Toity. “Wait, you and Prim Hemline?”

“Indeed. And your colleague Sassy Saddles, back when she was a model. Fleur de Lis, of course, though admittedly we’d only have reason to drum one another out of the business three or four times…”

“You’re just bragging by this point, H.T.,” Coco remarked.

Hoity Toity placed a hoof against his chest in mock offense, and then he laughed. Coco managed a giggle. Rarity was not sure if she was more surprised by that or by the fact that one of Equestria’s most powerful fashion mavens was joking around like a normal pony.

“I believe it’s time to take my leave so you can talk,” he announced. “Farewell! Rarity, I deeply hope we get a chance to speak under more pleasant auspices very soon.” He nuzzled Coco briefly, then walked to the door, somehow managing to pull it open without breaking stride. “Ta!”

As the door swung shut, Rarity took her first good look at Coco: perhaps slightly disheveled, but certainly not the look of a pony that had stayed up the whole night weeping. “My dear,” she ventured hesitantly, “I have to thank you. I was terribly anxious about our… talk, but right now I’m not really able to manage anything but bemusement.”

Coco didn’t say anything, instead just casting a nervous look at the floor.

Rarity sighed. “Well. I suppose I should just get into it.” She stood and walked a step closer to her friend, looking her in the eyes as seriously but as gently as possible. “I came to apologize. I treated you awfully last night, and I have no excuse.”

Coco nodded. “Thank you. I think I acted badly, too. I put you up on a pedestal, and it wasn’t fair.”

“Coco…” Rarity trailed off, feeling sorrowful more than anything else. “I… don’t wish to argue about your own feelings. But really and truly, you have nothing whatsoever to apologize for.”

Coco seemed to be shrinking, but she was holding her ground. “Um. Okay. I just… with everything you meant to me after Suri, the way I liked you probably wasn’t healthy.”

“Oh, darling.” Rarity felt herself smiling. “If you didn’t see us as equals, then perhaps anything between us would indeed ultimately be doomed. But last night, I never gave anything but my own neuroses a chance to interfere.”

She stepped forward and put a hoof against Coco’s cheek; it felt like the right moment. “It seems I have a great need to sabotage myself, and I didn’t even consider that your feelings might be hurt as a result. I’m ashamed because of that.” She noticed that Coco was leaning against her hoof a bit too much and gently pulled it away. “But even more than being ashamed, I’m disappointed. I surprised myself by how much I liked you, once I opened that door. But I couldn’t help but ruin it.”

Coco looked up, impossibly cute. “You did like me? It wasn’t my imagination?”

“No, darling. Ah…” Rarity coughed uncomfortably. “I find you very attractive, although you understand if I prefer not to talk about it after last night.”

“Yeah.” Coco blushed sadly. “You should talk to your friend Fluttershy, by the way. She said some things that made me think it’d be good.”

“She’s next on my list of shameful apologies,” Rarity replied. She sighed, feeling sorry for herself, then shook her head to break out of it. “But first things first. I may not deserve your friendship, but I really do see you as a dear friend. Because of that, I truly hope you can forgive me.”

“Rarity…” Coco sighed, slumping her shoulders. “We are friends, and I do forgive you. Last night hurt, and… I am still a little angry. But it’s not like I saw you as my one true love or anything. I’ll be fine after some moping.”

Rarity tried a wan smile; it was not returned. “Are you certain? I feel just terrible, and I want to do whatever I can to mitigate what’s happened. I’m leaving town after this weekend, but if there’s anything I can do to make things easier...”

Coco glanced off to the side and mumbled something.

Rarity leaned closer. “What was that, darling?”

Coco opened her mouth, then paused. “...Never mind. It’s stupid.”

“I’m sure it isn’t!” Rarity exclaimed. “Just name it, and if it’s within my power, I’ll do everything I can.”

“I… no. I shouldn’t have...”

“Coco, really! I’ll…”

“I want a date with Luna!” Coco blurted. Then she blinked, an expression of complete surprise on her face.

Rarity froze, literally unable to speak or move. It got uncomfortable, partly socially but partly because of her lack of oxygen, so she forced herself to inhale, trying desperately to pass the subsequent gasp off as a throat-clearing. “Um. I’m sorry, Coco, what…”

“You know Princess Luna, right?” Coco had recovered from her surprise. She was looking right at her, still very cute but suddenly kind of intimidatingly confident. “I want you to see if she’ll go on a date with me.” She deflated slightly. “I mean, only if you feel comfortable. I can’t believe I even said this.”

“I’d be happy to ask her,” Rarity said, almost automatically.

Coco nodded, and was that a slight smirk on her face? “I forgive you either way. But if that’s the sort of thing you could do, then it’d go a long way towards keeping me from drumming you out of the industry.”

Rarity pulled back in surprise, then was even more surprised to feel herself relaxing. “Hoity Toity was lying about Fleur de Lis, wasn’t he?”

“Oh yeah. A hundred percent.”

They shared a laugh; it felt great.

“You’re so weird,” Coco remarked. “I was completely terrified about seeing you, but it ended up being kind of easy. How come you’re so good at this, but you were so bad at our date?”

“That’s the question, isn’t it?” Rarity looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully and then shrugged. “I’m not sure. When you’re Coco my dear friend, I want to do everything right. When you’re Coco the romantic partner, it all falls to ruin. It’s a mystery.”

Coco nodded. “We wouldn’t be designers if we didn’t have issues.”

Rarity laughed. “Oh, how true! Though I suppose we should be grateful we’re not models, or it’d be ten times worse.”

Coco smiled, and then she got an expression on her face that clearly indicated she wanted to hug but worried it might be terribly inappropriate (Rarity called it ‘The Fluttershy Grimace’). She tentatively stepped forward and they nuzzled briefly, platonically.

“I… suppose I must be going,” Rarity said as she stepped away.

Coco nodded and walked her to the door. “Just to warn you,” she said, “I told you I’ll be fine, and I will. But I am going to make some really screwed-up outfits because of all this.”

“Oh my. Is it all right that I actually find that somewhat flattering?” Rarity tilted her head thoughtfully. “You truly are a fantastically talented designer, Coco. I hope, the next time we see one another, we have more time to talk about that.”

“Me too,” Coco replied. Then she glanced away, as if preparing herself for something. “Um, before you go, could I ask a favor?” Rarity raised a curious eyebrow; Coco had that steely cuteness again, but it was somehow vulnerable this time. “Could you... not call me Coco?”

“Um…”

“It’s not you. It’s everypony, even my close friends. Especially my close friends. I really prefer being called Miss Pommel. Like… like a stage name.”

“Miss Pommel.”

“Mm-hm. It makes me feel, um, older. That’s a big deal, for me.”

Rarity slowly nodded. “I can do that. ‘Miss Pommel.’ It does have a dignity to it, does it?”

“I think so.” Miss Pommel thought for a moment, then held up a hoof. “You could also call me The Coco. That’s what Photo Finish does.”

“Does she?”

Miss Pommel posed. “I, Photo Finish, am going to get coffee! Would The Coco like a non-fat mocha latte?!”

“I… think I’ll stick with ‘Miss Pommel,’ if that’s all right.”

Some Femmeblance of Normalcy

Fluttershy had personally known a large number of dragons in her life, but it seemed nothing could keep her from finding them fascinating. So when a float rolled by that was full of gay dragons (mostly young, but one enormous adult who may or may not have been asleep), she hovered up above the crowd to see better, eyes full of childish wonder, clapping her hooves. With the way she’d chosen to dress up for the parade, it made quite a sight.

Starlight didn’t really see what the big deal was, but one glance around told her she was in the minority there. Most of the other ponies nearby looked confused and a little scared, but Fluttershy’s soft cheers were quickly amplified by Pinkie, which soon resulted in vocal approval spreading through the crowd. The dragons were of course all far too cool to react, but Starlight liked to think they appreciated it.

She craned her head to check Ocellus’s reaction, but she was too far away to see much. The group correctly surmised a parade would be far too stimulating to expect Pinkie to chaperone anyone, but Ocellus was living up to the trust they’d put in her, just standing nearby and watching the parade. But the little changeling appeared to just have the same pensive expression on her face that she’d had all day.

Everycreature was a little off today, it seemed. Pinkie could be seen leaping up out of the crowd periodically like a spawning salmon, manic with delight. Fluttershy was still her demure self, but she had decked herself out like a chandelier constructed wholly from gay pride, and although it was sweet to see, it was also a little unnerving. Luckily Moon Dancer was just her usual staid self (though notably in a very good mood, for some reason).

Starlight glanced over to make a remark to her nerdy friend, but she paused in surprise when she saw her a few meters away, talking to somepony. Her conversation partner was wearing about as suspicious a costume as would be possible: trench coat and fedora obscuring every identifiable feature. Moon Dancer glanced back, noticed she was being watched, and quickly trotted back over, guiltily plastering on a smile of perfect innocence.

“Hey!” she said, arriving back at Starlight’s side.

“Hhhhhhi,” Starlight replied. She glanced over to where Moon Dancer had been, but the other pony was gone. “What were you doing?”

“Not doing!” Moon Dancer insisted. Her smile slipped. “I mean. I wasn’t doing not anything.” She shook her head. There was an uncomfortable pause. “No.”

Starlight raised an eyebrow. “Why were you talking to somepony in a trench coat?”

“Hm?” Moon Dancer glanced back. “Oh! Yeah. That’s not a trench coat. It’s a duster.”

“Um. Okay, but…”

“Hey, dragons!” Moon Dancer interrupted, glancing at the receding float. “That reminds me, hey Starlight, weigh in on a philosophical question, would you? Fluttershy and I have been discussing this.”

Fluttershy floated back down to the sidewalk now that more mundane floats were passing by. “Oh, is this about the portal?”

“Yeah.” Moon Dancer pushed her glasses up her nose and stood formally. “All right. Now, Starlight, do you agree that the life of sentient creatures is worth protecting?”

“Ummm.” Starlight raised an eyebrow. “This is gonna be a trick.”

“No, no tricks!” Moon Dancer was clearly having the time of her life. “Let me put it this way. Do you agree with the following statement: ‘If a sentient creature maintains a high quality of life and also does not negatively impact anyone else’s quality of life, then it’s better for that sentient creature to life longer than to live shorter.’”

“Yyyyyyyes?” Starlight answered, very much not trusting where this was going. “I guess?”

“Okay then. Now, three relevant facts. One: dragons live thousands of years. Two: dogs live ten to fourteen years. Three: Spike, a sentient creature, is either a dog or a dragon depending on if he’s in the human world or our world.”

Starlight frowned. “Oh. That’s…. Hm.” She scratched her head in thought. “So, you’re saying dog-Spike should live over here?”

“I’m saying we’re morally obligated to bring Spike over here,” Moon Dancer clarified.

“Um, and I disagree,” Fluttershy added. “I don’t like saying how long animals live is bad, because, um, their lives are right for who they are.” She glanced around nervously. “But I don’t have a big argument supporting that or anything. I’m probably wrong.”

“Not at all!” Moon Dancer insisted. “You know way more about creatures than I do; of course your intuitions there need to be taken seriously!”

Starlight glanced back and forth between them, then sighed. “I’m really sorry, I can’t have a serious philosophical discussion with you looking like that.”

“Like what?” Fluttershy asked, adjusting her rainbow-colored top hat so it wouldn’t smudge her lavender face paint. “I… oh wait a moment, I’m sorry, my tutu is a little…” She adjusted it, using her wings to help balance on her pink stilettos. “That’s better.” She looked back, smiling gently. “Like what?”

“Never mind.” Starlight shrugged. “The whole human dimension is just weird, anyway. They have fingers! Their hooves just have little tentacle things growing out of them, and no one seems to care.” She huffed, annoyed. “And Sunset? Sunset’s my friend, but come on! She’s like an alternate universe me, but she’s not, because there literally is an alternate universe me somewhere.”

“Um, I think talking about fingers might be kind of… taboo for them?” Fluttershy spoke up. “I asked Fluttershy once what she uses them for, and she got really quiet and embarrassed.” She glanced over to her special somepony. “Did anything like this happen to you?”

“Ugh, no,” Moon Dancer replied, rolling her eyes, “but I’ve, uh, kinda been trying to avoid writing to my counterpart.”

“Oh!” Starlight exclaimed. “Is it because she’s dating the human Trixie? That’s totally weird, right?”!”

“Ehh…” Moon Dancer hesitated, scrunching her forehead in thought. “No? The Trixie thing seems like it’s going fine.” She sighed. “It’s just, my counterpart over there started a rap group with a friend of hers, and it’s all she wants to talk about.”

“Ohhh,” Starlight said, wincing. “Is it that bad?”

“She rhymed ‘hypothalamus’ with ‘try to rap with us.’”

“Ahh.”

“She rhymed ‘truculent’ with ‘Duck Hunt.’”

“Ehhhhhhh...”

“You absolutely do not want to know what she tried to rhyme ‘synecdoche’ with.”

“Okay, okay!” Starlight grunted. “I get the point.”

“Why would I be bothered about Trixie?” Moon Dancer asked, raising her eyebrow.

“It’s just… you’re friends!” Starlight explained. “It’s weird! Friends are friends.” She glanced over at Fluttershy. “It’s gotta be kind of uncomfortable for you, right? That even an alternate universe Moon Dancer would go after Trixie?”

Before Fluttershy could answer, Pinkie descended upon them like a crashing helicopter. “Girls!” she screeched, waving her hoof frantically at the newest passing float. “Clowns! Look! Gay clowns!!”

They looked. There was indeed a float full of prideful clowns rolling by. One of them shot another with seltzer, causing Pinkie to scream like a falcon.

Ocellus walked up to them hesitantly. “I have some questions about the gay clowns,” she said.

Laughing wildly, Pinkie leapt away. Ocellus followed her, stammering queries.

Moon Dancer glanced at Starlight. “You were saying something about friends being weird?”

“I would never have a problem with what human Moon Dancer does,” Fluttershy said, toying idly with one of the many glow sticks wrapped around her leg. “And if it means Moon Dancer could be attracted to Trixie over here, that’s fine, too. I trust her.”

“Gah, no, stop!” Starlight snapped, squeezing her eyes shut. “All this is too weird! Dating your friend is wrong.”

“Eh.” Moon Dancer shrugged. “I’ve asked out a friend before.”

“What?!” Starlight nearly shrieked. “Who?! Why?!”

“Minuette. And because I had feelings for her.” She smiled with sad nostalgia. “I’d just come out, and she was one of my best friends, and… it felt right, I dunno.”

Starlight covered up her face with her hooves like she was hiding from a bogeyman. “What happened? Did she turn on you?!”

“Turn on me? What are you…” Moon Dancer shook her head in confusion. “No. She said she was straight and that she loved me as a friend, and then she made a dumb joke about tomatoes or something, and that was it.”

“I don’t… aggh, Fluttershy, help!” Starlight looked over at her friend in desperation. “You’ve never asked out a friend, right?”

“Um.” Fluttershy peered back diffidently over the rims of her giant novelty sunglasses. “I… did. Once.” Starlight’s mouth fell open in horror, so Fluttershy anxiously continued. “It wasn’t a very big deal. She had recently moved to Ponyville, and I thought she was pretty, so I just asked her to spend time with me taking care of animals.”

Starlight’s mouth fell open even wider. “And she couldn’t be friends with you after that, right?”

“N-no!” Fluttershy stammered. “I, uh, actually think she misunderstood me? Because she ended up thinking it was kind of an educational activity sort of thing, and then she invited a lot of other ponies over at the same time. Um. But what I’m saying is, that was fine! I got to feel proud of myself for being brave enough to ask, and we stayed friends.”

“This… this…!” Starlight sputtered, unable to put a thought together. “This is nonsensical. Who even was this pony?! How could she not have been upset?!”

Fluttershy glanced awkwardly at Moon Dancer, then scrunched up her face in thought. Starlight sympathized with her; it was probably really awkward to even think about whoever this supposed “friend” was.

But, before she could speak, there was a gentle throat-clearing off to the side. “Headmare Starlight? Professor Fluttershy?” Ocellus stood there, pointing at the parade. “I’m confused about something. Because that group of ponies had a banner that said they were bears, but it was clearly just ponies! What does that mean? Can ponies be bears?!”

“Uhhhh…” Starlight glanced over at the big, burly stallions marching by. “You see…”

Ocellus gasped. “Am I a bear?!”

Thankfully, she did not choose to transform into the largest, most terrifying bear possible. It was a mid-sized bear, brown and fuzzy. Quite cute, actually. But that did not stop a number of nearby parade-watchers from screaming in terror.

The bear frowned. “It… I don’t know, it doesn’t feel wrong, but…” She transformed back into herself, a thoughtful expression on her face. “I…”

“Is that a changeling?!” somepony yelped nearby. The nearby members of the crowd who hadn’t run away were all staring.

“What’s it doing here?” someone wondered loudly. Ocellus shrank down, shaking. Starlight, secretly glad to have a clear mission, strode next to her, staring down the onlookers. Moon Dancer and, with just slight hesitation, Fluttershy stepped up next to her. Pinkie literally fell out of the sky to join them.

“She is watching the parade,” Starlight asserted. “And she’s not bothering anyone, so…”

“Are there changelings in Manehattan, now?” someone asked.

“I didn’t know changelings could be blue!”

“I can’t believe I called her ‘it,’ I feel so awful. I should have known she was a girl and not a worker....”

“Oh neat, a changeling! Have you met Princess Twilight?!”

“I wish I could turn blue...”

“Aw, she’s adorable!”

Ocellus’s pony defenders tried to respond to each comment, but it was starting to turn into an incoherent roar. Starlight was relieved everypony was being more-or-less accepting, but that did not appear to be a comfort to Ocellus, who was lying on the sidewalk, shivering. “Please, she’s very shy…” Fluttershy tried, but it did not abate the enthusiasm.

Starlight had a great idea to just magic her way out of the situation by conjuring an oppressively thick fog, but she realized this was one of her bad good ideas and tried to think of something else that wouldn’t ruin the entire parade. But suddenly, a voice called out, loud and piercing enough to be heard over the crowd: “Aaaa! Is that my very best friend, Ocellus the changeling?!!”

Starlight looked. A float had stopped in the parade path, the ponies pulling it apparently confused by the disturbance in the crowd. The float itself was mostly a huge tank of water, and its occupant waved their claws in obvious delight. “Well, come here, honey!” Steven Magnet enthused. “I need your help!”

Pinkie gasped and looked back and forth between Ocellus and Starlight. Ocellus, after a shivery pause, nodded. Starlight shrugged.

“Sorry everypony, we gotta go!” Pinkie called, grabbing Ocellus and leaping into the air. Starlight watched her skip across the crowd, bouncing from scalp to scalp, over to where Steven’s float waited.

Before Ocellus even knew what was happening, she was confused and agitated on the float; Steven’s tank took up most of the front, and the rest of the surface was decorated like a giant aquarium, with gaudy, plastic anemones and papier-mache pebbles all around. Steven sat in their tank, grinning at her. Pinkie was gleefully poking at the fake diving suit someone had made.

“You all right there?” Steven asked, pressing a claw against their face.

“I’m… fine,” Ocellus answered, before glancing over at her teacher. “Um, Professor Pinkie Pie, I do have wings.”

“Wings aren’t gonna save you from the ghost of Captain Roanbeard!” Pinkie called back to her, waving around the arms of a fake skeleton dressed in a pirate outfit. She laughed joyfully, but also like a pirate. “Steven, your float is so neat-o!”

“It’s better in the water part,” Steven replied, patting the surface of the water. “Oh please come join me, Ocellus.”

Ocellus nodded. The staring crowd was just a blob of ponies now and not individual, staring eyes, but it was still a huge relief to be able to transform into something else. She splashed into the tank, and a seapony’s head popped up next to Steven.

“Aaaagh!” They shrieked. “You look so classy!” They leaned close, winking. “If you ask me, everyone around here could use a few scales.”

Ocellus couldn’t keep herself from grinning back. She idly noticed that the ponies pulling the float had resumed their place in the parade, so the crowd was shifting. It wasn’t scary at all being in front of everyone, partly because Steven and Pinkie were so happily soaking up the attention.

“Ooo, I am so mad at those ponies who were yelling at you,” Steven grumbled to her. “You just tell me or someone else if it happens again!”

“Um… thanks. I think they were mostly just curious, but I don’t really like lots of creatures talking to me about being a, um, you know.” Her voice softened and she lowered into the water as she spoke, so the next word was just tiny glubs and bubbles rising from her mouth: “...changeling.”

“Well, then you shouldn’t have to put up with it,” Steven insisted. “...But, I’m glad I got a chance to see you again! I can just tell you have a phenomenal sense of style, and that makes you my kind of creature! Are you liking the events, besides the nastiness that just happened?”

“Yeah!” Ocellus answered, almost enthusiastically. “It’s a whole lot of stuff I’ve never seen or thought about! It’s really great to learn about it! Uh.” She frowned softly. “I don’t think I’ve figured out what I came here to figure out, though.”

“Ooooooo, a mission!” Steven clapped their claws in delight. “Well, you’re obviously very smart, so you’ll figure it out!”

“Hm, I don’t know.” Ocellus splished her flippers vaguely. “I’m starting to think I won’t. I’ve been trying to find out… what I am. You know, on the inside, about my… um, sexuality. And it’s really different from how changelings think about things, so it’s hard.”

“Oh, baby child!” Steven exclaimed, looking as if their heart was breaking. “It’s just terrible how queer creatures never can run out of ways their teenage years are awful! If it helps, pretty much everycreature you’ve seen all weekend has been through something like it. But I bet you can figure out what feels right for you!”

“Yeah. That’s sort of what my teachers said, um.” Ocellus gestured to Pinkie, who was now wearing the pirate costume and apparently improvising some kind of skit with the skeleton. “I don’t know. It’s frustrating.”

“Well, don’t force it! Forcing it will give you wrinkles, and you can still look good with wrinkles but you’d have to change your whole gestalt.”

“Oh no, but it’s important!” Ocellus insisted. “I need to figure this out now, because it matters for my friends! Especially, um... “ She trailed off.

Steven glowered. “Honey, if your friends don’t accept you, then…”

“No, it’s not that!” Ocellus interrupted, waving her flippers frantically. “I know they’d accept me! It’s just… I wasn’t really thinking about this, but then a few weeks ago, my friend Smolder visited me. She’s a dragon, and she goes to school with me. And… and she looked stressed out, and I asked why, and she said she wanted to talk to me alone, and when we were alone she said, ‘Okay, first of all, I’m pansexual.’” And I asked what that meant, and she explained about gender and everything, and I think I understood. So I said, ‘I acknowledge what you’ve told me.’”

“‘I acknowledge what you’ve told me?’”

“It’s… it’s what you’re supposed to do! You acknowledge the other creature’s feelings, right?” Stephen raised a meticulously trimmed eyebrow, but Ocellus kept going. “But then she got really weird, and she wouldn’t tell me any more! She tried to laugh it off, but… but I know her, and I could tell her feelings were hurt. And that’s because I didn’t say anything back, right? I was supposed to tell her what I am on the inside. But I didn’t know!”

“Oh, child,” Steven sighed. “Sweet baby infant neonate cherub.” They sighed again. “Oh innocent youngster lamb moppet...”

“Whaaat!” Ocellus wailed. “What do you know!? Tell me!”

“Ocellus.” Steven rested their chin on their elbow, regarding their tankmate with vague confusion. “Your friend visited you suddenly, was acting nervous around you, and took you aside to tell you two things… the first of which was that she liiiikes giiiirls. And then when you didn’t react enthusiastically, she didn’t tell you the second thing.”

“Well… not just girls!” Ocellus argued. “Pansexuality is a valid orientation!! But…. yes?”

Steven started to speak, then caught themselves. “Hm. I may be swimming out of line, here.” They called back to the pirate dancing on the solid part of the float. “Oh, Miss Pinkie Pie! I have a question!”

“Arr!”

“Is it all right if I tell dear little Ocellus that her friend Smolder has a crush on her?”

“Arrrrrrr! I hope so, matey, because ye just did!”

“Oh. So I did.” They shrugged, smiling widely. “Thanks, honey!”

Ocellus was, by this point, floating belly-up on the surface of the water, barely even hearing what was happening. She felt a claw poke her shoulder gently. “Oh, don’t be surprised! A cute changeling like you? What dragon wouldn’t snatch you right up? Um… not literally of course, you know what I mean.”

“But what do I do?!” Ocellus yelped, leaping out of the water as a pegasus. She hovered along next to Steven’s head, waggling her hooves wildly. “This… this would be even worse! Because, because before I just thought I couldn’t relate to anycreature else, but now I’m disappointing my best friend!”

“Aww. So you don’t like her back?”

“I don’t know! I can’t think about that until I know what I am!” Ocellus dropped into the water, a seapony again, just so she could swim in a tight, anxious circle. “Smolder deserves somecreature who is something that she can like, and can like her back. What if I’m not something that likes girl dragons?! That would be the saddest thing ever! Steven!” She wailed, beginning to cry. “That would make me so sad!”

Steven gently caught her by the shoulders; she kept her fins splashing, but she stayed in place. “Ocellus,” they said, oddly serious. “Honey, you know what I like to do sometimes? I like to just curl up underwater where no one can see me and just drift around. You know? It calms me down, and remember! Wrinkles!”

Ocellus’s vision was blurry, but Steven’s glorious moustache was something she could focus on. “Like… meditating?”

“Yes! Just being onnnnnne with the water!”

Ocellus nodded tearfully. “I… I can do that. I’ll be a jellyfish? They’re really good at drifting!”

“Eee!” Steven clapped with joy. “I told you you had style! Just try drifting around for a while! I’ll tell you when the parade’s over.”

Ocellus sniffled, the panic slightly muted. She couldn’t get Smolder’s face out of her head, but maybe not having a head would help. The last thing she heard before dipping beneath the surface was Pinkie yelling, “The real treasure was the skeletons we made along the way!” and then everything was just water.

Femmeocracy

“What? No. What?” Starlight shook her head in irritation. “Of course teleporting doesn’t kill you. Why would you think that?”

“Ah… it’s just what someone said.”

“You don’t even really change locations! You just connect the space around you with another location through extra-dimensional, um…” Starlight paused. “You merge the lucidiary particles with…” She threw her hooves up in frustration. “Look, ask Sunburst about it! Sunburst will explain it. But no: there’s nothing about the spell that would kill you.” She rolled her eyes. “Come on, teleporting killing unicorns. It’s ridiculous! It’s not like they’re soundproofing walls, or anything.”

Rarity paused, but then decided it wasn’t worth the distraction to think too deeply about it. She stopped in front of Fluttershy and Moon Dancer’s door. She did nothing.

Starlight frowned. “Are you really that worried? The Pommel thing worked out, and she was the one you hurt, right?”

Rarity winced, but she decided it was fair to remind her of something that had literally just happened. “Alarming Fluttershy certainly feels like a worse sin than breaking the heart of anypony else. But you’re right. I should be optimistic.”

Still, she stood in front of the door and did not move.

“Um… well, I’m going to head back to my room,” Starlight said uncomfortably. “I want to try to get in a nap this afternoon.”

“Goodness, everyone’s napping,” Rarity commented. “Pinkie said she was, and then Ocellus said she was too, and now you.”

Starlight squinted in confusion. “Riiiiight. The parade was pretty hectic, I guess.”

Rarity nodded pleasantly. “Oh, I’m sure, I’m sure.” She looked back at the door. “Well. No more time to chat, I suppose.”

“...I suppose not.”

“I am just going to… knock.” Rarity did not move. “Yes. I will knock politely on this door to announce my presence.”

Starlight glanced at her, then at the door, then back at her. “Want me to help you get started?”

“Oh yes, that would be wonderful.”

A blob of magic popped up around Rarity’s hoof, then gently lifted it up and rapped it against the door twice. Rarity smiled gratefully, and Starlight awkwardly walked down the hall and disappeared into her own room.

The door in front of Rarity opened slowly, Fluttershy’s muzzle poking slightly out. “Oh. Hi, Rarity. Um. I’m glad you came by.”

“Yes, I was hoping to speak with you about my appalling behavior last night. Is Moon Dancer in?”

“Oh, um, no. She went off to a bookstore. She wanted us to be able to talk alone.”

“Hrm.” Rarity sighed. “I was hoping to apologize to her as well. But… since it is just us, would you like to take a short walk with me? I know you’d mentioned wanting to visit the nearby park? It isn’t large, but I believe there are birds nesting there...”

Fluttershy smiled softly and sweetly. She stepped out into the hallway, freshly showered, looking absolutely gorgeous. “That sounds very nice.”

The elevator ride and walk out onto the street was done completely in silence. There were several distinct Fluttershy Silences. This was certainly not the best (awestruck joy inspired by the majesty of nature) but it was also not the worst (terrified, shocked dread).

Their destination was about as minimally parkish as a park could be. There was grass, and a few trees were growing here and there, but the whole thing was no larger than a city block, and there seemed to be more cement than nature. But Fluttershy still smiled to see anything remotely verdant, and the sparrows in the nearby trees chirped to her. It seemed like a good sign.

“I’m terribly sorry I couldn’t have this conversation earlier,” Rarity offered hesitantly, settling down on a bench. “It ended up being a busier morning than I’d planned for. My meeting with Miss Pommel ended up being rather involved.”

“Oh,” Fluttershy replied softly. “Um… did it go badly?”

“Certainly not on the scale of ‘badly’ I’ve established on this trip,” Rarity answered sardonically. “It was rather pleasant, actually. I spent most of the time helping her to move on. She already has another date.”

“Oh, my goodness.” Fluttershy shook her head in mild amazement. “So soon? Is that healthy?”

Rarity shrugged. “It’s someone I trust to be kind to her, so even if this is a, ah, ‘rebound’ kind of thing, I don’t foresee too much danger.” She could not resist the chance to drop gossip as casually as if she were discussing breakfast. “It’s with Princess Luna.”

Fluttershy’s mouth hung open. “Miss Pommel is going to go on a date with Luna?”

“I had to travel back and forth to Bronclyn twice as their messenger pony. They both blushed like schoolfillies.”

Fluttershy frowned. “But… are you okay about it? I know you like helping ponies, but just selfishly, you had feelings for Miss Pommel...”

“Not at all,” Rarity said, marveling slightly that even after the previous night, Fluttershy could be so thoughtful. “Speaking selfishly, it was the best thing that could happen! This doesn’t undo my awful behavior, but setting her up with an actual princess quite effectively mitigates my guilt about everything.”

“Wow.” Fluttershy didn’t say anything else, but that might have been because one of the sparrows drifted over to them, landing on her outstretched hoof. “Oh, hello, little one!” The bird chirped happily, eliciting an equally happy giggle from Fluttershy.

Fluttershy cooed to the sparrow a little bit more, then regarded Rarity again. “They’re both artists. And, um. I associate them both with scary costumes. That’s… something to base a relationship on, I guess.”

“I frankly have difficulty picturing either of them in a relationship, much less with one another,” Rarity remarked. “But I find myself optimistic, when I think about it.” There was a pause as the bird hopped up and down on Fluttershy’s hoof. “Uhm… darling, I’m afraid I’m completely unable to come up with a segue from this to the things we should be discussing.”

“Um. Me too.” Fluttershy frowned. “Do… we have to? We could just start talking about it. I’m not even angry...”

“A segue would make things much easier, emotionally speaking. It’d be jarring to just… jump into things.”

“Oh.” Frowning, Fluttershy lowered the sparrow to the side. It hopped off and perched on the back of the bench, still chirping. “Uhm. This makes me feel kind of silly. Is it really very important?”

“The most desperately important thing in Equestria for me, at the moment.”

Fluttershy paused for a moment, then did her best. “Well, it’s… feelings about my, um, marriage. Miss Pommel’s cutie mark is a hat. And… um, sometimes when mares get married, they wear a veil, and a veil is a kind of a hat?”

Rarity pulled back in near-shock. “Oh, that won’t do at all! I’m afraid a hat is quite different from a veil, in both form and function.”

“Um, all right.” Fluttershy thought for a moment, then brightened. “Oh! Luna’s eyes are green, and, and lots of times, ponies say jealousy means you’re green-eyed!”

Rarity frowned. “They’re not… really green. More of a mountain turquoise….”

“Hm.” Fluttershy sighed. “Uh, well. I’m engaged to Moon Dancer, and Luna lived on the moon?”

“Ehh. That’s a bit of a stretch…”

“Rarity.” Fluttershy’s eyes were narrowed. “I meant it when I said I wasn’t angry, but I am getting annoyed about this segue thing.”

“Eep!” Rarity slumped her shoulders, ears flat on her head. “I… I’m sorry. I’m just quite nervous to have this conversation. I know, I’ve gotten closer to Applejack and Rainbow Dash, and you’ve gotten closer to Discord. But I still think of you as my best friend, and I hate the thought of things being awkward between us.”

“Rarity…” Fluttershy reached out and lay her hoof on Rarity’s, smiling warmly. “I don’t like that, either. But it’s really my fault. I knew finding a special somepony has been important to you for a long time, and so I should have made sure you weren’t upset about me getting engaged. If I’d just talked to you about it, none of this would have happened.”

Rarity glanced away sadly. “Thank you. But likewise, I knew broaching such a topic was easier for me than for you, so it was my responsibility. I just never felt ready, because to this day, I don’t even understand what I’m feeling.” She looked up into her friend’s eyes, serious but hesitant. “I had thought I was simply jealous, but I wouldn’t be so confused if that were the case.”

The sparrow hopped towards Fluttershy, singing sweetly, then hopped back over to Rarity. Fluttershy let out a quiet giggle. “I think she’s telling us both to stop being so hard on ourselves,” she mused.

“Animals do have a certain wisdom we ponies lack,” Rarity agreed. “But… I just want to be sure you know that I am absolutely delighted about your engagement. Even if some things about it are complicated, the biggest thing is how proud and happy I am.”

“Oh, Rarity, of course I know that.” Fluttershy smiled happily, eyes closed, looking absolutely adorable. “I should have never been worried. You’re such a wonderful friend.”

Rarity felt her chest relax suddenly, like she’d just taken off a very heavy vest. She took a deep, relieved breath. “Miss Pommel made a similar remark earlier. She wondered how I could be so absolutely clueless on our date, but completely confident and skilled as her friend.” She glanced up at the sky, the buildings towering above, the sky brilliantly blue. “Darling, you realized you were gay quite young, correct? Before you got your cutie mark?”

“Ah.” Fluttershy looked flummoxed, but it seemed more rote and automatic than genuine. “Y...yes. I was still in Cloudsdale.”

“Did it make things less confusing? Did it… I’m not sure how to put this… did it help you understand things that hadn’t made sense before?”

“...Yes?” Fluttershy answered, blushing timidly. “I guess so? I haven’t really ever thought about it that way, though.”

Rarity nodded quietly, thoughtfully. “I’ve always been my own worst enemy when it comes to dating. Obsessive crushes on terrible ponies. Maintaining empty flirtations instead of taking things further. Blueblood.” She paused, then couldn’t help sticking her tongue out in revulsion. “Just… Blueblood.” She shook her head, staving off an involuntary shudder. “I had thought that accepting my… appreciation of mares would fix all that, and my confusion and ambivalence were a result of being closeted. I’m terribly disappointed it hasn’t worked out that way.”

“Oh…” Fluttershy didn’t speak for a few moments, but when she did, her voice was characteristically kind. “Yes, I understand. I thought coming out would make me less afraid of what other ponies thought, and that never happened. It just took time.”

She lay down on the bench, one of her front hooves jutting forward. Rarity acknowledged the gesture, lying down herself, reaching her own hoof forward so they were touching. “Maybe…” Fluttershy ventured, “maybe you just need more experience? You haven’t really explored your, um, sexuality much. There’s mares in Ponyville you could date, even if it’s not too serious.”

Rarity froze, a mocking image of Trixie popping into her mind unbidden. She forced it down; it felt like the most humiliating thing in Equestria for Fluttershy to know about that. “Yesssss…?” she gurgled, before somewhat replacing her mask of poise. “I… have had very little experience with mares! Almost none! Except for that brief tryst with Starlight, none at all!”

The sparrow, who had been cooing and chirping softly, suddenly let out an ugly, loud squawk. They both looked up at it; it was frozen for a moment, and then it resumed its previous behavior.

Fluttershy frowned but seemed to quickly determine nothing alarming was wrong. She looked back at Rarity with compassion. “Well, that was a little awkward, but it turned out fine, right?”

Rarity thought about it. Other than a single uncomfortable conversation and a frantic, tipsy night where neither knew what they were doing, she had nothing but warm memories about that week. “Indeed it did. We were both adults, and yes, it was fine.” She nodded to herself. “That’s nice to be reminded of, darling, thank you. Not every single one of my romantic attempts has been a disaster.”

“Oh! You’re welcome.” Fluttershy blushed, but not in the bad way. “Um, so anyway, maybe you should try exploring? I think Starlight is learning a lot about herself from going out to clubs and meeting ponies.”

Rarity tried very hard not to remember being in a club the previous night, making bedroom eyes at Trixie while she sipped that ridiculous, blue cocktail. “...Perhaps. Going, ah, ‘clubbing’ is not really my cup of tea, despite how useful some ponies might find it to be.”

“Maybe. I just…” Fluttershy trailed off and looked down, oddly embarrassed. “Um, I think sometimes the point is making yourself drink a cup of tea that’s not. Um. Yours. I think that’s why Starlight’s doing it.”

They had kissed at the club, right there in front of everyone. It was like Trixie’s irksomely charming shamelessness had infected her. “I’ll think about it.”

Fluttershy nodded, apparently satisfied. There was a short lull in the conversation; the sparrow’s chirping had grown soft, and so Rarity just tried to focus on the sounds of the city. It was nice.

“Um,” Fluttershy spoke up, blushing. “At the parade, I tried to tell Starlight again that I’d meant to ask her, uh, on a date when she first moved to town.”

Rarity blinked in surprise; she had thought that was well-consigned to never be mentioned again. But she was more surprised when the sparrow let out an odd gurgle and fell backwards off its perch. It regained its senses and caught the air, settling lightly down on the ground. The two ponies looked down at it in concern.

“Oh dear,” Rarity said. “I hope it’s not unwell.”

“I don’t… think so?” Fluttershy reached her hoof down and gently patted the bird’s back. In response, the sparrow teetered unsteadily, looked up at her, and chirped. “Hm. She seems fine. I don't really understand city critters very well, compared to the ones in Ponyville, but I know they can be a little more nervous, with all the noise and activity.”

“Hrm. I suppose.” Rarity shrugged and directed her attention back to Fluttershy. “Well, how did Starlight respond?”

“I think she still didn’t get it. She’s… on her journey.”

“Aren’t we all.” Rarity leaned back, taking in the feeling of smallness, surrounded by all the bustle and the buildings. “I suppose I have been a bit envious of you, about that. Your journey is… well, it’s not over, but you’ve found your pony.”

Frowning, Fluttershy played idly with her mane, a habit she used to engage in much more often. “Well. I love Moon Dancer, but, you know, we’re not perfect. Sometimes she’s rude to Discord, which makes me kind of mad. She’s usually polite, but once in a while he can… annoy her.” She hung her head, more in timidness than sorrow. “And, and sometimes I snap at her when I’m very very tired. We always apologize afterward, of course, but…”

“Darling, I didn’t mean to say things are perfect,” Rarity assured her, certainly not saying out loud that the word still seemed to fit nicely. “I simply mean it must be wonderful to have someone in your life like that. You must look back on your time before you met her and be amazed at how lonely you were!”

Fluttershy looked up, still frowning, but eyebrows raised in surprise. “Um. Not… really? I haven’t felt lonely since I moved to Ponyville. I have my critters and my friends…”

“Of course, of course,” Rarity said. “I just mean by comparison.”

“Um.” Fluttershy glanced around, as if looking to see if any of the birds would provide social cues for how to react. “Are you saying you feel lonely?”

“I…” Rarity considered that, frowning. “No, not as such. But there’s a kind of loneliness in one’s heart, you see. A loneliness that can only be filled with romance.”

“Oh.” Fluttershy was silent for a moment. “So. I wasn’t lonely before I met Moon Dancer, but now I’m… less… not… lonely?”

“Ah, exactly!” Rarity sang, delighted. “That’s such a wonderful way to put it. That’s exactly what I’m after. If I have a special somepony, I won’t lose loneliness, because I’m not lonely. But I will gain the opposite of loneliness.”

Fluttershy blinked, an expression that Rarity would have perceived as bewilderment had she not phrased the concept so poetically a moment ago. “Rarity,” she said carefully, “have you considered…” She trailed off and began again. “Do you think maybe it would, um, be a good idea to…” She fell silent, then sighed. “Oh, never mind. I can’t phrase it right.”

“Hm?” Rarity tilted her head. “Well of course I don’t want to push you, but you know how much I respect your opinion.”

“It’s… I’m with Moon Dancer because I love Moon Dancer. Not because, um, of anything else.” She glanced shyly down at the ground, watching the sparrow claw at the grass. “I think you, um. ….Just, I wanted to say that to you, that’s all.”

Rarity considered that. It did not appear to make much sense on the surface, but she indeed filed it away so she could sleep on it and discern any hidden wisdom. “Well. Thank you, darling. I appreciate it.”

Fluttershy nodded, apparently satisfied. They shared a smile, and it was a wonderful moment they’d had many times over the years.

Releasing a deep breath, Rarity glanced up at the sky. “Do you suppose we should head back to the hotel? Everyone said they were napping, but it’s almost dinner time.”

“I think we should.” Fluttershy chuckled quietly. “At least, we’ll be able to keep Pinkie company. She always says she’ll nap a long time, but she never does. She’ll probably be up by the time we get back.”

“Oh, yes, it’ll be…” Rarity was interrupted by a frantic flapping of wings. The nearby sparrow had leapt into the air and, as if in a panic, streaked away.

They watched it go, confused. “Indeed, as you said, city birds can be neurotic,” Rarity remarked.

“Some of us just aren’t made for all this noise,” Fluttershy agreed.

Pinkie had already bounded into the air by the time she realized she was awake. She couldn’t help it; it was so cool and fun to be in a hotel, and these beds were so huge and lush, how could she not jump in and out of them? The only thing more fun to jump in was a pool, and the next few moments were completely filled by how amazing it would be to have a pool inside a hotel room. Then she glanced inside the bathroom and remembered that her suite gave her access to a hot tub, which basically exactly was a pool inside a hotel room.

She forgot what she was doing. By the time she remembered “waking up from a nap,” she was humming a song and thinking about what she wanted for dinner and hoping Moon Dancer had asked Fluttershy to marry her and wondering if frogs have souls and laughing about a joke she remembered that Buster had told the night before.

“Oce…” she began to call, but she quickly shut her mouth so no more sound could come out. She realized Ocellus might still be napping. Pinkie, just because you’re awake, it doesn’t mean everyone else in the world is awake, Limestone had admonished her once, and even though she had trouble entirely understanding that, she accepted it.

But as she approached the closed door to Ocellus’s room, she noticed she could hear the sounds of the city through the door, way too loud for anyone to sleep comfortably. She rapped her hoof against the door, slowly opening it. “Ocellus?”

“Agh!” Ocellus yelled frantically. “Yes! I’m in here! My sleeping room! Room for sleeping!”

Pinkie had fully opened the door, and she trotted in, smiling widely. Ocellus stood next to an open window, looking sweatily innocent. “Hee hee!” Pinkie laughed. “Why’d you have the window open, silly? It’s so loud! And a bird could just fly in from outside, and then you’d have a bird in your hotel room and that’s not where birds go! Birds should be in the park!”

Ocellus stared. “Yes!” She agreed eventually. She stared. Pinkie smiled back.

Uncomfortably, Ocellus suddenly grabbed her tape recorder off a nearby dresser and switched on. “Note to self!” she announced. “Birds can come through open windows! Because there isn’t glass in the way!” She switched it off and grinned innocently.

Pinkie was very glad Ocellus was learning new things. “Wanna come see if anyone else is awake?” she asked, already turning around and trotting away.

“Um, yes,” Ocellus called after her. “Hey, but can I ask a question?”

“Hmm?” Pinkie turned around, delighted. “Sure! Whatcha wondering?”

“What is, um… clubbing? Going out to clubs?” Ocellus was bashfully avoiding eye contact, but the question sounded important.

“Ooh!” Pinkie answered. “I know this! It’s where you go out reeaaaaally late at night and there’s dancing and flashing lights everywhere! And there’s really, really loud music that’s all brkk a chk a brrk a chk a BOOM BOOM brick a chk a crrk a chk a BOOM BOOM!”

“Oh.” Ocellus rubbed the back of her head uncomfortably. “Is…”

“Or, if it’s a house inspired track, it’d be a four-on-the-floor thing, which is more like bmm pa bmm pa bmm pa bmm pa! Wait, I’m being silly, let me just get my 808 out of my suitcase...”

“Um, Professor!” Ocellus called, startling Pinkie a bit. “...Thank you about… yes. But I wanted to ask because I heard that going out to clubs can help creatures to figure themselves out. Is that true? Could I do that?”

“Aw,” Pinkie said, smiling kindly. “Sorry, you’re too young! You gotta be old enough to drink to get into clubs.” She darted closer, giving Ocellus a soft elbow to the shoulder. “But if you wanna know more about it, Trixie and Starlight can probably help! If you don’t mind hearing about the personal lives of your crusty old teachers, that is!”

“Gah!” Ocellus recoiled in revulsion. “No. No, I… really don’t want to hear anything more than I have to about my teachers’ personal lives.”

“Okay, then!” Pinkie said, happy things were working out. “But if you want to learn about discovering yourself by dancing, I’m your pony! I do that all the time! Hey, do you think anyone will get mad at me if I do cannonballs into the hot tub?”

“That’s… wait, what is…” Ocellus began, but she didn’t finish the question, so Pinkie figured she must have come to the answer on her own. It probably had to do with that whole best-friend-being-in-love-with-her thing. That sounded complicated. Lucky she was such a smart kid, especially because she did not seem to want to talk about it. Pinkie’s own experience with friends falling in love with her was limited to inanimate objects and also probably Rainbow Dash briefly but they hadn’t really ever had that conversation. Also apparently Boulder, who she was not allowed to even think of as an inanimate object. That conversation had occurred, and it was very awkward. Maude could get protective. Oh, and Cheese Sandwich, obviously, but she was taking that slow, which was weird. She didn’t normally take things slow, except for syrup-drinking contests (Ponyville champion three years running!).

“Uh. P...professor Pinkie Pie?” Ocellus said hesitantly.

“Yeah?!” She grinned down at her student. “What’s shakin?”

“You’ve, um, just been standing there looking at the wall for almost a full minute.”

“Oh! What was I thinking about?!”

“How would I know…”

“Oh!” Pinkie squealed happily. “Cannonballs in the hot tub! Yeaaaah, I probably shouldn’t,” Pinkie sighed. “C’mon, let’s go see who else is around!” She turned and bounced happily to the door, Ocellus probably following behind. “You know, you can talk to me like this any time!” she called over her shoulder. Ocellus didn’t reply, which Pinkie took as enthusiastic agreement.

“I hate this. I hate this. Trixie? I hate this.” Starlight held out her leg and let the bouncer strap the paper bracelet to her hoof. “Thank you. I hate this. I hate this.”

Trixie appeared happy to just let her gripe or maybe just wasn’t paying attention at all. There were a lot of distractions: even in this entry hallway, they could hear thumping music, and the line to get in was pretty excessive. After the small little cocktail place the previous night, she was really being thrown into the deep end.

“I hate this,” she said, and it had become oddly comforting by this point. They stepped out into the club itself, ponies everywhere, a huge bar area to their left, a packed dance floor to their right. She scanned the crowd. Everyone was super hot.

Trixie smirked at her and started walking to the bar, but Starlight caught her mid-step. “Hey. I’m gonna approach someone.”

“If you must,” Trixie sighed, voice annoyed but expression like someone who’d finally gotten tickets to her favorite play.

Starlight took a deep breath and did not walk towards anyone. “Um, so,” she said to Trixie, “should I go ‘I’m Starlight Glimmer?’ Just, ‘Hello, I’m Starlight Glimmer.’” Is that weird? ‘Hello?’ ‘Hi?’... ‘Hey?’ ‘Yo?’ ….Holy smokes, Starlight, ‘yo,’ what is wrong with you...”

Trixie opened her mouth to reply, but Starlight kept going. “And should I say ‘I’m’ or ‘my name is?’ ‘My name is’ sounds a little more formal, right? Too formal? ‘I’m called?’ What do you think?”

“I don’t think it really matters,” Trixie said, looking annoyed at being interrupted.

“Doesn’t matter?!” Starlight gasped. “Of course it matters! Tiny little things make a huge difference! I have to do this perfectly!”

“Usually I just command the pony to behold my magnificence.”

That caused Starflight to pause. “...Does that work?”

Trixie raised an eyebrow. “I’m worried that you don’t really know how hot I am.”

“Trixieeeee! Come on, I’m nervous! Take this seriously!”

Trixie sighed. “Okay, being serious: it doesn’t matter what specific dumb little words you use.”

Starlight was already not listening. “...Maybe I’ll split the difference? So I’ll start with ‘hi,’ which is casual, and then ‘my name is,’ so it’s a little more formal, too?” Starlight thought for a second. “Yeah. That’s good.”

“Well, I’m glad you figured it out. Who’s it going to be?”

“Errgm. Her.” Starlight nodded toward a tall, white earth pony who looked like the lead singer of a punk band.

“Nice!” Trixie slapped a hoof against her back. “Go get her! I’ll meet you at the bar.”

Starlight pitched forward, the mare filling her vision even as the crowd and frantic activity of the club pulsed all around her. ‘Hi, my name is Starlight Glimmer,’ Starlight thought.

She was not too far from the mare, now. She had partly chosen her because she didn’t seem to be enmeshed in conversation with anyone, so she wouldn’t have to worry she was interrupting good friendship time. The mare had just been standing there, looking cool. But as Starlight approached, she realized there was a huge downside to that: her pickup target looked cool, and ponies who looked cool were apparently far more terrifying than the literal demons Starlight had literally engaged in mortal combat against.

‘Hi, my name is Starlight Glimmer,’ she thought again, and she got close enough that the mare looked up at her. Starlight, still walking forward, opened her mouth to speak.

The mare smiled at her.

“Hiiiiiaaaaguuughhhhhh!” Starlight gurgled, not breaking stride at all, walking directly past the mare and glimpsing a split-second of a confused expression. “Aaaghhhh I hate this I hate this I hate this!” She kept repeating it the entire way to the bar, where Trixie was already waiting.

“You’re making me look bad, as a wingmare,” Trixie commented, passing over a drink.

“I hate this,” Starlight replied. She drank almost half of her cocktail. “Trixie. I hate this.” She coughed and examined her drink more closely. “I also hate this. What even did you buy me?”

“The most alcoholic thing they could make. Please don’t drink it that fast.”

Starlight groaned and took another, slightly smaller gulp.

“I’ve never gotten why you insist on being capable of self-doubt,” Trixie admonished. “But you see now why it’s dumb? You should be like me.”

Starlight sighed. “Shameless?”

“Charmingly shameless.”

Starlight sighed. “You’re right. I know I have to learn to do this. It won’t happen for me.”

“Right. So…

“It’s not like some perfect, cute mare is going to approach me out of nowhere,” Starlight continued, glancing around. “Right?”

“Uh…”

Starlight was on a roll. “And… she’ll be so obvious about everything, I won’t have to take any kind of risk at all. She’ll do all the work for me, and it’ll be great.” Starlight closed her mouth, frowning. Neither of them said anything for a moment.

“Why’d you say that like that?” Trixie asked.

“I… was kind of hoping it’d be a Pinkie Pie sort of thing, and I’d be interrupted by…”

“Starlight Glimmer!” Very suddenly, Starlight felt herself being quickly but warmly embraced. The hoofs pulled away, and a young, very pretty pegasus stood before her. “It’s so great to run into you!”

Starlight kept her mouth from falling open and her drink from tipping over, but she couldn’t manage much more beyond that. Luckily, the pegasus turned to Trixie and sweetly said, “Oh, hi! I’m Gold Star, I met Starlight yesterday when she visited the pride committee. You must be Trixie! I’ve heard such impressive things about you, both as counselor at the School of Friendship and as a showmare.”

Trixie stared at Gold Star, then raised an eyebrow at Starlight. “You magicked this, didn’t you?”

“No!” Starlight hissed, aghast.

Gold Star was entirely unperturbed. “I came here with some good friends of mine, and I wasn’t really planning on meeting anyone. But when I saw you, I knew I’d just kick myself if I didn’t ask if you wanted to dance with me.”

Starlight gaped at her, uncomprehendingly.

Gold Star frowned. “Oh. Are you…”

“Guh, she obviously wants to dance with you,” Trixie interrupted. “Just give her a second.”

Indeed, slowly, Starlight’s mind caught up to reality. This pony was both shockingly gorgeous and probably the friendliest individual she’d ever met (and she’d met Pinkie Pie!), and it was taking a while to come around to that. “Yes,” she intoned, half aware of what she was saying. “I’d like to dance with you very much.”

Gold Star grinned. Starlight felt a wing wrap around her and guide her off to the dance floor.

Halfway there, she dumbly realized she wasn’t holding her drink anymore. She looked back to see Trixie was levitating it alongside her own. She was smiling, but the smile was kind of odd. Starlight had never seen it before.

She stopped thinking about that very quickly. The alcohol and the music worked together to quickly bar her from paying attention to anything but the immediate moment, and the immediate moment was entirely filled with pegasus. At first, Gold Star danced a few respectful centimeters away, all joy and dexterity and youth. By the second song, Starlight had closed the distance. Everything was hot.

She had absolutely no idea how much time passed before Gold Star booped her on the nose and leaned in to tell her she wanted a water break. She almost argued: who in Equestria could care about drinking water at a time like this? But once broken from her EDM-reverie, she realized how incredibly badly she needed to pee.

Once she emerged from the bathroom, she easily found Gold Star again: it was like she targeted onto her like a laser. She was so focused, she was just a few steps away before she realized who she was talking to.

“... just my best friend, of course,” Trixie said with irritation. “I want to make sure she’s going to be safe, is all.”

“Oh, of course!” Gold Star replied with burning sincerity. “I… oh, Starlight!” She leaned forward and nuzzled her dance partner warmly. “I was just talking with Trixie. It’s so wonderful you have a friend here, seeing to your safety and enjoyment.”

“Uh.. yeah!” Starlight agreed, taking her now tepid drink from Trixie and drinking some. “You… were talking?”

“Yes! She was just making the point that you haven’t had much experience, and she wanted to make sure you didn’t feel overwhelmed.”

“Huh?” Starlight looked at Trixie, frowning. “She told you that?”

“Mm-hmm!” Gold Star replied cheerfully.

“I’m not… inexperienced,” Starlight defended, cheeks flaring. “I have plenty of experiences. Multiple timelines of experiences.”

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Oh, chill out, Starlight,” she grumbled, sounding more annoyed than she really should have been.

“Maybe I haven’t gone out much, but I’m not a little foal,” Starlight snapped. “I’m not…”

“Oh!” Gold Star’s face suddenly loomed in her field of vision, eyes huge and embarrassed. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I phrased what I said badly!” She hung her head.” “Starlight, please forgive me for being careless in what I said.” She walked over to Trixie and hung her head in the same way. “And Trixie, I’m so sorry for putting words in your mouth that sounded insulting, when you were only being a good friend.”

Starlight regarded the pony before her with confusion, then she looked over at Trixie, who seemed just as confused. “Um. That’s all right.”

“Oh, thank you so much.” Gold Star brightened again. “What I had meant to say, Starlight, is just that Trixie and I both feel it’s important for you and I to have open, explicit lines of communication.”

“...Communication?”

“Of course! I, um.” She blushed bashfully, and it was maybe the sexiest thing any pony had ever done, ever. “I think, the way dancing is going, I’m probably going to want to spend the night with you. I want to be open about what that entails.”

“Spend the…”

“Being honest about our needs, desires, and boundaries is so important in a situation like this, don’t you agree?” Gold Star asked cheerfully.

“This chick cannot possibly be for real,” Trixie said, looking shell-shocked.

Gold Star chuckled. “Oh, I know I can go too far, but it’s certainly worth any downsides to make sure everycreature is on the same page.”

Starlight had stopped listening at “spend the night.” She emitted a syllable that was not a word and was unable to do anything else.

“Is this some kind of School Of Friendship job interview?” Trixie asked, raising an eyebrow. “The counselor position is already taken, thank you very much. It doesn’t matter how much you talk about communication or honesty or whatever.”

Gold Star laughed good-naturedly. “Oh, Trixie, that’s such a flattering joke, coming from you.” She regarded Starlight again. “We can discuss things more gradually, as the night goes on, if you want. I don’t want to give you too much at once! I just wanted any safety concerns to be addressed.”

“Ugh, you’re…” Trixie glowered. “I’m reaaaaaally thinking you’re some kind of apparition Starlight accidentally conjured, but fine. Whatever. You seem safe.” She nudged Starlight. “Hey, I’m going to go back to the hotel. I’ll see you in the morning, all right? Do that weird aura spell if you need me.”

Starlight blinked. “Yeah. Yeah. Thanks.”

“Oh, hooray!” Gold Star smiled genuinely. “Would you like to go dance some more, Starlight?”

Starlight nodded. She only had the vaguest sense of what was going on, but she absolutely yes wanted to dance more with Gold Star, please yes. She again felt herself being led out onto the dance floor.

Halfway through the first song, her senses returned, and she froze. Gold Star turned around in concern.

“Do you really want to spend the night with me?” Starlight asked, and then, humiliatingly, she had to ask it again, leaning closer, so her apparent date could actually hear her.

Gold Star just smiled.

Blushing, Starlight decided to just say it: “Trixie was right. I’ve never been with anyone before.”

Gold Star nuzzled her softly. She obviously had no difficulty leaning close, and somehow her words came through perfectly when she murmured her response. “I’d like to kiss you right now. May I?”

Absolute terror seized Starlight’s entire body, but she somehow managed to nod. Gold Star leaned forward.

The dancers surrounding them were jostling and frenetic, but in an instant, they all just disappeared. All Starlight was aware of was the feelings in her body and on her lips.

When Gold Star pulled away, the world came back. Just for half a second, Starlight caught a glimpse of Trixie, frowning, before she was swallowed up in the crowd. And then Starlight just danced.

Femmeical Warfare

SATURDAY ITINERARY

Brunch with the girls!!!! (Ocellus is with Moon Dancer)

Hopefully Moon Dancer asks Fluttershy to marry her because she’s seriously running out of opportunities

I heard Luna’s gonna be out on a date with Miss Pommel, which isn’t really part of our itinerary but come ON that’s ADORABLE

No one is talking about the whole Rarity/Trixie thing and I think I’m not even supposed to know about it but WOW something really needs to happen there because it’s getting weird

Room service night in with me and Ocellus!!! (also somehow she figures out her entire sexual identity to resolve the extremely pressing issue with her best friend but more importantly ROOM SERVICE) (also, wait, what's room service?)

Starlight was exiting the shower when it occurred to her that Gold Star was about ten years younger than she herself was.

She had not recovered by the time she rephrased that thought in her head in a different way: Gold Star was closer in age to the Cutie Mark Crusaders than she was to Starlight.

She grabbed the edge of the sink and stared into the fogged-up mirror, glad she could not see her (old, old) face. It took her a moment to recognize her feelings; something she had felt many times, but not for a while: the desire to throw every single one of Twilight Sparkle’s lessons into the trash and to just do time travel until the universe was made of spinach or whatever.

She slowly calmed. She couldn’t take back what she’d done last night and then also earlier this morning and then also again earlier that morning, and she wouldn’t want to, even if she could. And Gold Star had truly done a wonderful job of making sure she felt safe.

Gold Star, who, doing the math, was maybe a junior in high school when Starlight moved into Twilight’s castle.

A few breathing exercises later, Starlight left the bathroom. Gold Star languidly dozed, but she opened her eyes and smiled at the sound of the door opening. “Hi, gorgeous.”

The kid was very good at this, Starlight had to admit. She felt herself relaxing. “Do you want the shower?”

“Oh, no thank you; I think it’s supposed to be partly cloudy, today. I’ll fly through a raincloud on my way to the tent.” She crawled out of bed and gave Starlight a quick nuzzle. “Hey. Creatures sometimes tell me I do this too much, but I wanted to check in you were still feeling okay about last night. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, of course!”

Starlight considered that, but the answer was, surprisingly, easy. “I feel fine. I was really scared about everything, but once I got into it, I just kind of… forgot I was scared.”

“I’m so happy to hear that!” Gold Star beamed, looking extremely happy to hear that. “It’s totally valid to never have done anything like that before, but I hope you know in your heart that you can, if you decide you want to. You’re such a special and kind individual.”

Starlight blinked, then sighed. “Y’know, you really are like if the School of Friendship came to life and started complimenting ponies.”

“Oh, I’m so flattered, Starlight, thank you!” She smiled widely, then, oddly, stopped smiling. “I’m getting a little hungry, but… before I go, I wanted to be open with you about where I’m at.”

Starlight raised an eyebrow. “Yyyeah?”

Gold Star hung her head, even mild discomfort looking very jarring on her face. “I really enjoyed myself with you. I said last night I was only open to something casual, and that’s still true, but... I was hoping we could keep in touch as friends?”

“...Friends?”

“Yeah! I think we’d have a lot to talk about, and I really look up to what you’ve accomplished.”

Starlight took a step back, frowning. “We can’t be friends. We… um. You know, last night.”

“Oh. You don’t…” Gold Star was an extremely expressive pony, and almost all Starlight had ever seen on her face was some sort of smile. For just an instant, something very different flashed there: sadness, insecurity. Then it was gone, and she grinned again. “That’s all right! I would never want to push you into something you didn’t feel comfortable with!”

“It’s… not that I don’t feel comfortable about it,” Starlight explained, wondering why there was this weird anxious feeling in her chest. “It just doesn’t make sense for us to be friends.”

“I get it!” Gold Star failed to assure her. “It’s… everypony’s different! If you don’t want to…”

“No, I would want to be your friend!” Starlight exclaimed, stamping her hoof. “Of course I’d want to be your friend. But after what we did, that doesn’t work. We could try being special someponies, but you said you couldn’t do that.”

“Yeah. That isn’t something my wife and I would be okay with.”

“Your…” Starlight tried not to make her eyes bug out. She remembered vaguely Gold Star saying something about a wife while reciting her litany of needs and boundaries, but she hadn’t been paying much attention to anything but the broad strokes. “Look, you’re really beautiful, and last night was really great. Can’t that be enough?”

The flash of sadness on Gold Star’s face lasted a little longer this time, but just like before, when it was gone, it was like it’d never existed. “Yeah! I’m really happy you think I’m beautiful. I was only asking because creatures think I’m beautiful a lot, but they don’t always care about… um.” She paused, then tried again “I just thought you might...” She fell silent, looking down at the floor.

Starlight had no clue what was going on, but Gold Star quickly looked back up at her, smiling childishly and cutely and not convincingly at all. “I’m sorry! You clearly communicated your feelings about this, and I really appreciate that! I totally respect what you’re saying.”

She quickly walked to the door, fumbling with the knob a bit as she tried to open it. “I’ll just go, and…”

Starlight wanted to say something, but before she could think of anything, a frantic and high-pitched voice rang out from the hallway. “Oh! Hello, how strange to see you coming out of your hotel room, Trixie!!”

Starlight headed to the door and stood next to Gold Star, looking out. Rarity was standing in her own doorway. Trixie stood in the hallway, in front of her own closed door, eyes wide.

Rarity turned to them, looking frantically polite. “And my! What odd timing that all three of us would…” She noticed Starlight was not alone and paused, but only briefly, the social skills kicking in when needed. “Oh! Gold Star, yes? From the pride committee? How wonderful to see you!” She walked up to them, not acknowledging Trixie even slightly as she passed her. “I hope I didn’t interrupt your, ah, early morning business meeting with Starlight! I was just so surprised that all three of us came out of our own individual hotel rooms at the same time!”

Gold Star blinked at Rarity, then looked over at Trixie, whose expression had gone from surprise to annoyance. She trotted into the hallway, all confidence and warmth. “Good morning! I’m so glad I had a chance to see you both. Trixie, thank you again for being such a good friend to Starlight last night!” She looked very young.

“Yeah,” Trixie replied, glaring at Rarity, and then glaring at Starlight, and then glaring at Rarity again.

Starlight felt she had insight into about one-tenth of what was making this whole scene so awkward. All four of them stared at one another in silence.

“She’s over eighteen!” Starlight asserted.

There was more silence.

“I… am!” Gold Star agreed finally, still smiling. “I’m twenty-two.”

The door down the hall opened, and Moon Dancer stuck her head out. “Why,” she groused,” is everyone talking so loudly out in the hallway? You know how thin these walls are! Who…”

She froze, looking like a civilian who had just wandered into the middle of a gunfight. She withdrew back into her room and shut the door without another word.

“It’s…” Gold Star fell silent, then like a machine turning on, somehow clicked into ponies-pony mode. “Yes, as I said, it’s so wonderful to see everyone, but I’m afraid I have to get an early start at the planning tent, today.”

Rarity relaxed slightly. “Oh, it’s such a shame you have to rush off, but perhaps we will have a chance to actually sit down and chat later?”

“I’d like that.” Gold Star turned and nuzzled Starlight, right there in front of everyone, like the bravest pony who’d ever lived. “I had a really great time.” She flashed brilliant smiles to them all and then trotted off down the hallway.

Trixie, without saying anything, turned and went into her own room.

Starlight and Rarity looked at one another. “I have no idea what’s going on,” Starlight admitted.

Rarity coughed. “Remind me, darling, was there to be alcohol at today’s brunch?”

“Uh. I think I heard Fluttershy say something about mimosas.”

“Oh, delightful.” Rarity turned and went into her own room, muttering. “Simply delightful.”

Moon Dancer pressed her hooves against her mouth, her face red, her eyes squeezed shut. They were in the best coffee shop in Manehattan, a quiet, serious, joint tucked away in a corner of Balikuntown. She could not laugh as loudly as she wanted to; it would disturb the whole atmosphere.

Moon Dancer somehow kept it together. “She said absolutely nothing the whole time. Just stood there, silently. And then, all of a sudden… ‘She’s over eighteen.’”

Trixie giggled, earning a glare from the hardworking barista and a curious look from Ocellus, who’d opted to sit a few tables away to review her notes. “And that was what happened right before you opened the door.”

“Wow.” Moon Dancer laughed as quietly as she could. “Wow. No wonder you all looked like that.”

“Starlight…” Trixie shook her head, almost awestruck. “Starlight is just the dumbest smart pony in Equestria, isn’t she?”

“She learned from the best,” Moon Dancer teased. “I thought that was your thing.”

Trixie gasped in (thankfully quiet) faux outrage. “Trixie is indeed both the dumbest and the smartest pony anywhere, because there is no superlative that doesn’t apply to her! But unlike Starlight, who is dumb in dumb ways, I am strategic about when I’m stupid! I just do it when it gets me out of work.”

Moon Dancer raised an eyebrow playfully, but before she could respond, the server arrived with their beverages. Trixie took her latte and immediately added more cream to it, earning a disgusted glare from pretty much everyone nearby. She appeared to relish the attention.

Moon Dancer placed her nose over her macchiato and inhaled gently. The rumors had been true: this place truly did create art.

“You’re such a little weirdo,” Trixie observed.

Moon Dancer concentrated fully on her drink. She raised it to her lips and took a tiny, tiny sip. It was heaven.

The experience over, she acknowledged her tablemate. “You didn’t know I was a weirdo before today?”

“The amazing Trixie knows all. She just wanted to remind you.”

Moon Dancer smirked and directed her attention to her espresso again. It suddenly struck her how comfortable she was, here in this faraway city, sitting with a pony she couldn’t talk to about books.

Even after she accepted friendship into her life, she was still carried along in it, just passively. She loved her Canterlot friends, but that whole group was the Minuette Show, and they all knew it. The little, blue dynamo facilitated everything, made all the plans, filled all the silences.

And Fluttershy’s group.. well, Twilight was a very unique exception, of course, and she and Discord had established something of a real understanding. But for the rest of them, even though it was nice, it was also a little plastic. They were sweet and kind and welcoming to her because they were sweet and kind and welcoming ponies. She really did care about them, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she could have been anyone.

But with Trixie? Or Starlight, or Maud, or Sunburst, or Mudbriar? There was no way she ‘could have just been anyone’ with them. She’d found them, and she fit. They were weirdos. It worked.

She looked up from her drink, raising an eyebrow. “So. Talk to me.”

Trixie looked back at her. “I am talking to you.”

“No. Trixie, come on.” Moon Dancer set her coffee down to show how serious she was. “Your emotions. They’re… roiling behind your eyes, or whatever. Talk to me about it.”

“I beg your pardon,” Trixie sniffed. “I do not roil, behind my eyes or anywhere else!”

“Uh huh. So seriously, what’s up?”

“Nothing.” She daintily sipped her drink, then sighed. “Okay, look, I didn’t expect Starlight to get picked up so soon. This is all super new to her, and she’s totally freaked about somehow accidentally mind-zonking someone into dating her.”

“Hm, it makes a little more sense now how she wanted me to mind-zonk her on the train,” Moon Dancer mused. “A controlled, safe way to take her own medicine. It’s not rational, but I guess I get it.”

“Yeah. So, it was supposed to be baby steps. I didn’t expect her to run into some kind of… living, breathing consent machine.” Trixie sighed. “She is totally not ready for this, and when Starlight gets thrown into something she isn’t ready for…”

Moon Dancer nodded. “Okay. And…”

Trixie held her gaze, then sighed. “And we’re just getting over an argument about this whole trip, and okay yes fine, I’m jealous, obviously, but it is totally normal to be jealous when your best friend finds other ponies they want to spend time with. It’s the normalest kind of jealousy. It’s also dazzingly spectacular jealousy, because it’s mine, but it’s just. Normal.”

Moon Dancer sipped her coffee and said nothing.

“Nngguuuh, and I’m annoyed with Rarity, fine,” Trixie groaned. Out of the corner of her eye, Moon Dancer saw Ocellus get up out of her seat and walk towards them. “So, I’ve been sleeping with Rarity. A lot.” Ocellus veered sharply away from their table. Moon Dancer hoped she had not heard anything, but Trixie kept going too fast for her to think about it. “Every night we’ve been here, and a couple of times before that.” She was clearly simultaneously bragging and complaining, which would have been hard for anyone else in the world to pull off. “She wants it to be secret, so don’t tell anyone. Or do, I don’t care.”

“If you don’t care, why are you annoyed?”

Trixie added more cream to her coffee drink; it was practically just white by this point. “My standards for friends are very high.”

Moon Dancer raised her eyebrow. “...Yeah? So what?”

“So.” Trixie actually added more cream. There was no way she could actually be planning to drink it. “For that, and for no other reason, I don’t tend to. Ahem.” She paused, doing her best to make it sound haughty. “Have. Many friends.”

“Ah.”

“Rarity’s not so bad, is all I’m saying. We open up to each other, it’s… nice.” She coughed slightly. “Especially because she’s one of the Ponyville Five, who caused my tragic spiral of self-destruction and eventual redemption. It shows how impressively far I’ve come to be able to trust her.”

“Ponyville Five?” Moon Dancer asked.

“Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash challenged me at my show. Snips and Snails went and found the ursa minor. Twilight embarrassed me by defeating it.”

“That’s six.”

“Snips and Snails each count as a half.” Trixie sipped her coffee drink, then stuck her tongue out in disgust. “Bleh, I thought you said this place was good.”

“Uh huh.” Moon Dancer really did care about Trixie, but she reveled in unnecessary complications like they were playground equipment. “Look, maybe Rarity’s just being weird because it’s awkward to hook up with a friend. Some ponies can’t do that at all.”

“She’s the one that keeps initiating it,” Trixie pointed out, definitely mostly bragging. “Last night, I just went over to try to talk to her about Starlight stuff, and she couldn’t keep her hooves off me.”

“She doesn’t think you’re dating, does she?”

“No. If it was something weird like that, she’d tell me. She’s one of those magic friendship monsters, right?” Trixie responded to Moon Dancer’s raised eyebrow with just a dismissive wave of her hoof. “Oh, come on. You should know, you’re marrying one of them.”

“Fluttershy’s not perfect, you know.”

Trixie raised an eyebrow.

“Seriously! Sometimes, when she’s tired, she snaps at me.”

“What would Fluttershy snapping at someone even sound like?”

“Just normal. I never even know she does it until she apologizes for it after.”

Trixie gave the kind of eye-roll that would be visible from space. “Look, the point is, I’m annoyed with Rarity because she’s being unnecessarily complicated, but it’ll be fine because we’re actually real friends.” She nodded smartly. “It wouldn’t be inappropriate to praise me for being able to make an accomplished and worldly friend.”

Moon Dancer considered that. “You know, you’re right. It’s hard to make new friends as a grown-up. Good for you, Trixie.”

Trixie paused, probably working out if she was being mocked or not. Eventually she relaxed. “Well, thank you. Did I mention she can’t keep her hooves off me?”

“Once or twice.”

Fluttershy giggled. No one quite knew what she was giggling at, but it almost certainly had something to do with the empty champagne flute in front of her.

The table had already gone through a lot of mimosa, which was especially impressive because Pinkie didn’t seem to be drinking much, and the restaurant’s manager had declared they could not legally serve raccoons alcohol, which left Softpad with nothing but iced tea.

Fluttershy was not so inebriated that she couldn’t get embarrassed, so she blushed and tried to explain: “I was looking at my crepe, and it was funny.” Softpad chittered something, and Fluttershy laughed again.

Pinkie nodded seriously. “Crepes are one of the funniest brunch foods. Just above mushroom scramble and just below blintzes.”

Starlight couldn’t help but chuckle just at the sound of the word ‘blintzes,’ and even Rarity had loosened up enough to laugh. “Blintzes are the funniest,” Pinkie explained further. “Well, unless you’re working blue, and then it’s cream cheese omelettes.”

Fluttershy laughed out loud, which was still pretty quiet. Starlight herself held it in for a moment, but soon she was giggling, too. “I… think I’ve had too much to drink.”

“But this is a celebration!” Pinkie argued. “We’re toasting you! We…” She gasped like a bomb exploding. “I just realized! Toast, meaning the thing you do with drinks, and toast, meaning the breakfast food, are the same word! This is comedy gold! I take it back, toast is the funniest, hooves down.”

“Why,” Starlight asked, not intentionally trying to change the subject but considering it a nice bonus, “are you toasting me?”

“Why, you accomplished what you came here to do,” Rarity explained, smiling kindly. “And with an absolutely lovely and sweet mare, too.”

“Oh.” Starlight cough-giggled, blushing. “I mean. I guess.”

“So, spill!” Rarity’s smile turned a little sinister. “How was it?”

“Only as much as you want to!” Fluttershy added. Then, “Um, but please: as much as you want to.”

“It was… um.” Starlight realized she absolutely did not have the vocabulary to discuss it, and she felt old, again. But these were her friends, so… “Look, I don’t have anything to compare it to. It was my first, uh. My first time.”

Rarity and Fluttershy glanced at one another, puzzled. Starlight refilled her champagne flute. “I know! I’m over thirty. I know. But look, I spent a lot of that time in Our Town, and clearly I wasn’t going to be with anypony there, I was everyone’s cult leader! I wasn’t that evil.”

Rarity opened her mouth to speak, but Starlight plowed forward. “And then I had to deal with my sexuality and everything, and fine, look, I’m a super-insecure pony in some ways, which isn’t always apparent because I’m really confident in other ways, and what was your question, Rarity? Oh, how was it: It felt really good! Um. These are delicious mimosas, huh?”

Softpad whistled something which Starlight could not understand but which was almost certainly asking for clarification about the cult leader thing. Fluttershy thankfully did not reply; she just kept glancing over at Rarity. “Um. Was it… it wasn’t a secret, was it?”

“I… didn’t think so,” Rarity answered.

All four of Starlight’s tablemates had awkward expressions on their faces. “What’s wrong? What did I do?”

Rarity frowned. “Starlight. Everyone at this table already knows, and so it’s a little hurtful for you to explicitly state that it never happened.”

“Uhmmmmmm.” Starlight glanced at everyone in turn; even the racoon looked weird. “I seriously have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Softpad chittered. Fluttershy nodded, “You’re right. I think she actually doesn’t remember.”

“I guess it was more meaningless than I’d thought,” Rarity said, sounding too sad to give her comment the bite she clearly meant it to have. “I know it didn’t come to anything, but I’d never have thought you’d completely forget about it. Especially that last time, when I actually knew what I was doing.”

Starlight blinked at her in complete incomprehension. “Someone really needs to explain to me what’s going on.”

Rarity actually sniffled and placed her napkin onto the table. “Excuse me, everyone, I…”

“No, hey!” Starlight flailed out her hooves, guilt stewing in her chest. “Rarity, I hurt your feelings somehow, but I can’t apologize for it until I know what happened!”

Rarity glared, but luckily Pinkie’s voice stopped her from saying what was on her mind. “Ohhhh. She used magic.”

They all looked at her, equally surprised. “Right?” Pinkie continued. “She forgot because she magicked herself.”

This for some reason appeared to make Rarity even angrier, but Fluttershy placed a hoof on her shoulder calmingly. After a moment, Rarity sighed. “Please explain it to her, darling. I’m far too upset.”

Starlight felt more helpless than she had in a long time, but Fluttershy’s calm expression helped a bit. But then Fluttershy spoke, and her words did not help at all. “Last year, you and Rarity had a short relationship. Or… something. Um. But you spent several nights together before deciding to just be friends.”

Starlight’s mouth fell open, and it took her several seconds to even be able to speak. “Wait. How could…”

“I’m terribly sorry for whatever it was I did,” Rarity grumbled, not sounding sorry at all. “I had thought it was something we could look back on fondly. But apparently it was so traumatic, you had to erase your memory.” She sniffled. “You told me that was your first time, too, but I suppose for all I know you’d erased your memory of something before that, too.”

“Rarity!” Starlight felt panic starting to consume her, even as she noticed other restaurant-goers beginning to look at their table. “We’re friends. I wouldn’t…” Rarity’s eyes were actually starting to fill with tears. “No, wait, look. This is some kind of misunderstanding, and I’ll prove it. I’m gonna cast a spell that’ll undo any memory-alteration that’s ever been done on me, okay? Just give me a second.” She closed her eyes and felt her horn glow, and then her whole head fizzled with magic. “See? I…”

Starlight froze.

“I’m absolutely appalled,” Rarity’s voice stated.

“Wait.” Starlight pressed her hoof against her forehead. Apparently, once when she was a teenager, her dad and his friends had caught her lip-syncing in her bedroom along with Black Feedbag lyrics, so she was also dealing with that.

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes to look at Rarity. The memories swam through her mind like barracudas. “Flarg,” she said.

Rarity pulled back in surprise. “Um…”

“Flarg doo carnin,” Starlight clarified. It suddenly occurred to her those were not words, but by that point, she was already passing out.

The private wing of the palace was, as usual, so quiet that Starlight felt upset barging in. She knew she had a standing invitation, and more importantly, she knew Twilight would want to help her. But everything still felt so Celestia, it was hard to convince herself she was truly welcome.

“Twilight?” she called, nervously walking around, blindly. “It’s me. Can we talk? I need your help.”

“Oh!” Twilight’s voice called out from what she’d been calling her office. “Hey! Yeah, just come on in. Um, but…”

“Oh, thank goodness.” Starlight briskly trotted over to the ajar door, bumping it open. “I’m freaking out. I had sex with one of your friends, and now I have no idea what to do, and…”

She froze, still standing in the doorway. Twilight looked back at her, eyes wide. She was not alone.

“Aaahahahahaha!” Flurry Heart bellowed in delight. “Sex! Sex sex sex! Sex friend!”

“Um.” Twilight eventually just slumped her shoulders. “So. I think you already know everyone, but I’ll introduce you, just in case. This is my niece, Flurry Heart. I’m babysitting her right now. She’s just learning to talk, and she is very good at immediately picking up on words she’s not supposed to say.”

“Sexxxxxxxxx!”

“And this is Minuette,” Twilight continued. “She’s going to be working with me, here in the castle, and she’s well-known among my friends here in Canterlot to never, ever let anyone forget the embarrassing things that have happened to them.”

Minuette’s grin approached outright mania. “The first time Twilight got drunk, she gathered everyone around to hear her recite an original love sonnet about Starswirl the Bearded.”

“Yes, thank you.” Twilight glared, which did not appear to deter Minuette at all. “Thanks. She gets it. Thanks.”

“Sexxxxxxxxxxxxx sex!”

Twilight sighed, levitating Flurry Heart over to her assistant. “Could you take care of her for a few minutes?”

“No prob.” Minuette gently took hold of the toddler with her magic and trotted out of the room. But on her way, she stopped and winked at Starlight. “Who was it, Pinkie?”

Starlight was too frozen to answer, but luckily Twilight came to her rescue. “Minuette…”

“All right, all right.” Flurry Heart, by this point, had turned her repetitions of ‘sex’ into some kind of song, and Minuette actually began beat-boxing along with it as she finally left the room.

Starlight looked at the princess, baffled. “She’s really going to be your assistant?”

“She’ll keep me humble.” With a soft smile, Twilight finally turned her attention fully to her friend. “Hey. So what’s up?”

“Oh. Um.” Starlight realized she was sweating from her anxiety, which was confusing but also kind of comforting. “Right. Um. So, right. So, I hooked up with Rarity.”

Twilight raised her eyebrow. “Again?”

“What? No, not again! Like, two months ago. You knew about that?”

“Um, yes? Rarity told me. I didn’t know she wasn’t supposed to.”

“Gggghhhh…” Starlight fretted, walking in place.

Twilight frowned, hopping up onto a couch and patting the cushion next to her. “You’re obviously upset, but I can’t help unless you explain it, all right? From what she said, you talked it all over and things have been fine. So please try to relax and let me know what happened.”

Starlight jumped up next to her and tried to slow her breathing. “Yeah. Um. So, nothing happened. She’s great! I didn’t need to talk to you about her. I needed to ask you about me. Just, in your professional Friendship Princess opinion, how much of a backslide into evil, magic-abusing Starlight would I be if I erased my own memory of the whole thing?”

Twilight did not reply for a moment, and when she did, it was not helpful. “What?”

“I thought it was fine, but I’ve just been thinking about it, and I can’t stop! Every time I see her, I remember what we did, and… and it just feels like I can’t be friends with her any more because of it! Friends shouldn’t do what we did. And that makes me really sad, because I want to be her friend.”

“Why can’t friends…”

“I don’t know!” Starlight wailed. She looked up at the princess, almost pleading. “It wouldn’t be so bad, right? I wouldn’t be erasing her memory. Just my own!”

“I really think you shouldn’t erase your own memory, Starlight.”

“Okay yes, noted, right, but what if I did, though? Would it mean I’m evil again?”

“I…” Twilight threw her hooves up in the air, helpless. “No? But it wouldn’t really solve anything, and…” A flash of light interrupted her. “...Seriously!?”

Starlight caught herself from falling over, the room spinning. “Oh. Uh. Hey, Twilight! Nice office! Were we talking about something?”

Fluttershy was relieved to see Starlight begin to blink herself awake. “Are you all right?” Starlight moaned something, so Fluttershy continued. “How many hooves am I holding up?”

“Uh?” Starlight blinked sleepily. “None. That’s a wing.”

“Who’s the current princess?”

“Twilight Sparkle, believe it or not.”

Fluttershy nodded seriously, then glanced around in relief. “She’s fine. Please give her room, though.”

Everyone stepped back, allowing Starlight to sit up and press a hoof against her temple. “Nnng. What happened?”

“You fainted. We assumed it was shock from getting your memories back, but none of us are magic experts.”

“Uh, yeah, that can do that. But why did I…” Starlight suddenly jumped to her hooves. “Oh no! Brunch! I ruined brunch!”

“It’s okay! Everyone’s just very relieved you’re all right.” She glanced over and Pinkie and Softpad explaining things to the cafe manager, and then at Rarity, who was stone-faced and hard to read. “We’re going to take you back to the hotel, all right?”

Starlight nodded, doing a bad job of pretending not to notice Rarity walking off with no further acknowledgement. Fluttershy put her wing around Starlight, and they left together.

Luckily, the coffee shop excursion team was already back, so they were able to set Starlight up in Trixie’s room so she could nap while being cared for by her best friend.

“You seriously erased your own memory?” Trixie asked, sounding amazed, as she tucked Starlight in.

“It felt like a good idea at the time,” Starlight weakly defended.

Trixie just playfully bopped her on the horn. “You and your good ideas. Get some sleep, dummy.”

“Thanks.”

Trixie made eye contact with Fluttershy and shook her head, looking equally caring and frustrated. Fluttershy smiled back, and she stepped into the hallway.

The drunkenness was fading, so she just wanted to curl up with Moon Dancer and get that hangover spell cast on her. But Rarity’s door was right next to Trixie’s, and as she passed it, she knew she couldn’t just walk on by. Sighing, she knocked.

The door opened and Rarity stood there, eyes hollow. She didn’t say anything.

“Um. Hi.” Now that she was here, Fluttershy did not have much idea what to say.

Rarity’s behavior didn’t help. She just turned around and walked into the room, leaving the door open. Hoping she was interpreting it correctly, Fluttershy followed her in, closing the door behind her. “I wanted, uh, to see if you were all right?”

Rarity laughed bitterly. “‘All right?’ I wouldn’t even begin to know how to answer that.”

Fluttershy winced. “Are you very angry with Starlight?”

“No? No.” Rarity sat down on the floor, looking defeated more than anything else. “I just feel like a very silly pony.”

Fluttershy walked closer, frowning. “Why?”

“For what I said to you, yesterday. I had thought that at least one of my romantic encounters had been positive. But now I see how things truly are.”

“Rarity…”

“There was Blueblood and Trenderhoof, for whom I humiliated and debased myself, respectively. Starlight, who was so upset, she erased her own memory. Miss Pommel, who… well, you were there. And…”

She sniffled and lay down. Alarmed, Fluttershy ran over, patting her back with a wing. “I understand your feelings are hurt, but…”

“No, darling, you don’t even know. You don’t even know!” Rarity covered her face up with her hooves. “I’ve sunk much lower than you could imagine. I…” With a dramatic sob, she flung herself over onto her side. “I’ve been doing truly pathetic, awful things! I…” She suddenly looked up, locking eyes with Fluttershy with a serious, despairing expression. “Trixie.”

Fluttershy blinked. “...Trixie?”

“I’ve been with Trixie! The silliest, most inane, most frivolously laughable pony in Ponyville! I’m so ashamed!”

Fluttershy had absolutely no idea how to react. “Um…”

“And I keep going back, too! Every time I think I gather up my self-respect, there I am again, in her bed!”

“...Rarity,” Fluttershy attempted, almost too bewildered to speak. “I don’t think I understand.”

“Oh, of course you don’t,” Rarity wailed. “You’ve always been such a graceful, dignified pony! I’ve been so embarrassed about telling you.”

“Uh. Why?”

“Why?! Darling, she… she’s a joke! Every time I even think about spending the night with somepony like that, I just... I don't even know what to say about it!” She shuddered.

Fluttershy had no idea what to do with any of this, so she just said the thing that kept coming into her mind. "You aren't sounding like yourself. Why are you talking like this?"

Rarity let out a noise that was half-weep, half-chortle. "I'm at the end of my rope! I never thought I could possibly fall so far, but..."

There was a knock on the door.

Rarity froze. Fluttershy looked at the door, then back to her friend, helplessly. There was another knock at the door.

Unsure of what else to do, Fluttershy went over and opened it. Rarity shut her mouth tight, staring in absolute terror at the pony who stood in the hallway, eyes burning with rage.

Trixie stepped into the room. “So,” she said. “This hotel? Real thin walls.”

Femmeterlude

“Here.” It was awkward having a conversation through an open window above a busy street, but Moon Dancer knew she was making it even more awkward with the way she kept unnecessarily looking over her shoulder.

“Uh. What’s this?”

“It’s all the cues. See?” Moon Dancer magically highlighted several important bits. “The timing has to be perfect! I have it all in my head, beat for beat, and it’s perfect!... but only if it goes well. And it will!”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” Moon Dancer asserted quickly, convincing no one. “So take this, memorize it, and then eat it.”

“...You want me to eat it.”

“Yes! So no one finds it lying around!”

“...Okay. See, but no, I’m not gonna eat it.”

Moon Dancer gasped, then got worried her loud gasp was timed perfectly to cause her to miss hearing someone coming into the room, so she looked back. Satisfied no one was there, she fixed her intense gaze back out the window. “You have to! What if Fluttershy finds it?”

“Then Fluttershy will probably be relieved she’s not marrying a lunatic who makes ponies eat pieces of paper.”

“Nooo!” Moon Dancer nearly moaned. “I’m being serious! I have a feeling in my gut there’s going to be shenanigans, and Fluttershy deserves better than shenanigans! It has to be just the way I envision it, and it’s like the universe is conspiring against us all!”

“Uh, look. You know how you hate when I tell you to chill? You say it’s condensing.”

“Condescending.”

“Right, whatever. And you made me promise to only do it when you really, seriously do need to actually chill?”

“...Yeah?”

“Chill.”

Moon Dancer sighed. “I just don’t think you have perspective on how quickly things are getting out of control.”

“Dude. You’re with a bunch of friends in a swank hotel in the middle of Manehattan. Nothing is...”

A sound, barely muffled by the wall, burst out from next door. It came again, high-pitched and ugly.

“Uh, what’s that?”

Moon Dancer took a step closer to the wall, but she didn’t really need to. The sound was very easy to identify. “That appears to be Rarity and Trixie screaming at each other.”

“Rarity and Trixie? Why would…”

“Shen. An. Ig. Ans.”

“... I’m still not gonna eat this thing. I’ll tell you what, I’ll fly up to the Broncs and throw it away there. Or maybe even Stallion Island. Fluttershy won’t ever go all the way out there.”

“That’ll have to do, I guess.”

“...Huh. ‘Fluttershy doesn’t have any reason to go to Stallion Island.’ There’s a joke in there, somewhere.”

“Please under no circumstances try to make it,” Moon Dancer muttered, hanging her head. “Guh, I have to go see if Fluttershy is okay.” She did not move. “I’m dumb, aren’t I?”

“What?”

“Planning out this big, elaborate thing. Trying to make it all just perfect. Desperately flailing away to impose reason and order onto a random universe, indifferent to our suffering.”

“Uh. That’s a little philosophical for me.”

“Yeah. It’s overwrought, anyway.” Moon Dancer nodded morosely. “I just need to take a second to try to remind myself, sometimes things aren’t disasters. Right?” She winced as Trixie’s voice babbled in incoherent anger. “Someone, somewhere is doing something, and it’s actually going well. That can happen, too.” Someone either threw something or stomped their hoof on the floor really hard, and Moon Dancer finally started towards the door. “...maybe.”

“Annnnnd here we are!” Miss Pommel trotted in, grinning nervously. “This where the magic happens!” She desperately staved off a grimace as Luna trotted in past her. “That was the dorkiest thing anyone has ever said, I’m sorry.”

“No,” Luna said, simply. Miss Pommel was not sure how to react, but Luna continued: “The dorkiest thing anyone has ever said was when Soft Pretzel told Celadon about what happened in the Forest of Rubber Trees.”

She grinned as Miss Pommel, who tried to grin back but her mouth just wouldn’t.

“Celadon?” Luna prompted. “Of the pegasus…” She paused, then her face fell. “That would have been hilarious eleven hundred years ago.”

“Um,” Miss Pommel said. That exchange had, at least, gone on for more than a single back-and-forth, which was better than most of the walk over had been. But each failed attempt at conversation was ending with what were almost beginning to feel like audible thuds.

But Luna was already approaching the crawdad tuxedo. “Oh but look at this, this is so…” She noticed the geode-inspired moccasins, oohing as she walked closer. “I see!” She looked up at Miss Pommel, excitedly. “It’s your usual themes of artifice and armor, but… more natural? Not frilly and decorated, I mean.”

“Y...yeah!” Miss Pommel walked closer, still too nervous to stand too close. Luckily, her workshop contained numerous topics of discussion. “I’ve been going to science lectures, just at the universities around town. I don’t understand a lot of it, but it’s been really, really inspiring. I like being aware of the chemistry in the materials I use.”

Luna gasped. “That’s what I did, when I had my first creative block after coming back! Ponies had learned so much about physics while I was on the moon. Like, apparently it was physically impossible for me to live for a thousand years on the moon!” She laughed. Miss Pommel did not. “...um, well, anyway, so I used meteors a lot, but I didn’t really understand a lot about how they worked, and learning more about it inspired me. I saw some lectures by Clockwork Angel, about his theories of how gravity affects celestial movements. You know, he postulates gravity is actually a fundamental force of the universe, completely unrelated to magic. Isn’t that interesting?”

Miss Pommel, who had no clue if that was interesting or not, stared back. “Uh…”

“So!” Luna continued, almost manic, “that was when I did my big meteor shower! Do… you remember that? About six years ago, in the winter?”

“Uh. No. ...sorry.”

Luna frowned. “Oh. I. Well, I just… I was very proud of it.”

“I would have really liked to!” Miss Pommel exclaimed. “It’s just, I’ve always lived in Manehattan, and the light pollution here makes it really hard to see the sky sometimes.”

“Oh. I see.” Luna glanced around, apparently finding nothing about any of the clothing designs nearby (not even the mantis-overalls!) worth commenting on. “I… saw a lecture about light, too. You know, the team of researchers wanted to ask me about how stars maintain their glow! I helped as best I could, but, um.” She trailed off. “They included me as an author on the manuscript, though!” She grinned, small and hesitant. “Fifth author, but. Still.” She stopped grinning, looked down at her hooves, and fell silent.

“She’s trying to impress me,” Miss Pommel suddenly thought.

Two days ago, she would not have been able to reach this conclusion. Even now, after seeing the brightest-shining diamond in all of Equestria turn out to have an ignorant and thoughtless side, it felt ludicrous.

“F...fifth author is still meaningful!” Luna argued, flustered. “They said I deserved it! It wasn’t just ceremonial!”

Miss Pommel thought that was a strangely defensive way to react, but then she suddenly realized she had been laughing. She sat down, her haunches plopping to the floor, and kept giggling.

Luna gaped at her, looking caught halfway between anger and embarrassment. “I don’t know why you’d laugh at me, but…”

“I’m not laughing at you!” Miss Pommel assured her, still laughing. “This is just so silly. Neither of us has any idea what we’re doing, but we’re both just trying to have A Normal First Date as if this wasn’t all totally insane.”

“You think I don’t know what I’m doing?” Luna asked, raising an eyebrow, more than a hint of testiness in her tone. But Miss Pommel was past the point of being scared of that.

“I wouldn’t know!” she replied, smiling like an idiot. “I feel like I stepped into a surrealist painting two days ago. Luna, you can’t possibly imagine how bizarre it is to be me right now.”

Luna frowned. “You asked me out.”

“Yeah, because I didn’t think it would actually happen!” This was very funny to Miss Pommel, but before she could start chuckling again, she caught the expression on Luna’s face, and she didn’t feel like laughing anymore. “No… Luna, I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to. I just…” She rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. “Um, if I kept going, I’d start talking about stuff that’s too much for a first date.”

Luna did not reply for a moment, then she offered hesitantly, “The… rules and norms of first dates are there for a reason. I guess neither of us are in a place to do this right now.” It sounded very much like she was saying “Oh, well.”

Miss Pommel looked at the exit, knowing deep in her heart she should escort Luna out so they could go their separate ways, but she just felt too tired. “I’m gonna break the rules,” she said.

Luna was already beginning her stride to the door when she actually heard what Miss Pommel said, and she stopped so short she almost fell over onto her face. “You are?”

“I’m exhausted!” Miss Pommel wailed. “I’ve been on more dates this weekend than in the entire last year combined, and the first one was with Rarity, who’s wonderful and amazing and also the most frustrating pony in the entire world because everything just has to be this waltz of unspoken innuendo, and she was so bad on the date I was so ready to just be angry, but then after the date she was perfect again and I couldn’t even do that!”

“Um,” Luna said. “But… wait, when did asking me on a date come up?”

“I don’t even know! I just said it!” Miss Pommel waved her hooves around helplessly. “That was the result of this weird drug trip I was having, except instead of drugs, it was high self-esteem!”

“...Ah.”

“But then the reality hit me and I could barely even sleep last night, and…” She took a deep breath, looking up at Luna, almost pleading. “I just can’t do a normal first date right now. I just want to see if we connect. Can’t we do that?”

Lune did not say anything for a while, her expression stony. Finally, she sighed. “You said I didn’t know what I was doing,” she pointed out.

“...Yes?”

“Well.” She inhaled and exhaled quickly, through her nose. “If it were the case that one didn’t know what one was doing, because hypothetically let’s say the entire concept of a ‘date’ was invented thousands of years after one was born, then that would be eminently reasonable.”

Miss Pommel considered that, then nodded. “Of course.”

“The sensible strategy is to be light, friendly, and flirtatious,” Luna continued, the testiness halfway back in her voice. “And if that wasn’t working, because one has always been terrible at being in any way ‘light,’ then perhaps…” She trailed off, searching for the right words. “Perhaps…” She sighed and gave up the remnants of her little persona, sitting down on the floor. “It's just. What if I frighten you away?”

“Um. Then you frighten me away, I think.”

“I see,” Luna said, nodding stiffly. She stopped nodding stiffly, then resumed it. “That outcome was terrifying until you just said it so plainly, and then it felt very mundane. How odd.”

“Well, don’t ask me,” Miss Pommel replied, shrugging. “I never dated in school, and then I had this awful boss who made me work eighty hours a week so there was never time, and then I had one stupid sex dream about that horrible boss and I had to deal with that in therapy for about another year, and that pretty much catches us up.”

Luna stared. “Um. I’ve always thought dating was foolish until very recently. My only exposure to it was terrible romance novels and other ponies’ nightmares. Not yours!” She added that last clarification with some alarm, but Miss Pommel was grateful for it anyway. “Just a lot of ponies smiling at their date and then their teeth fall out.”

“Teeth falling out is a big dream dating thing?”

“It is. I napped last evening and had one of those dreams, myself. So.” Luna shook her head ruefully, sighing. “I suppose it can’t hurt to admit I’m nervous. Well: I’m nervous. You made my teeth fall out last night. Dating makes me very nervous.”

Miss Pommel nodded, smacking one hoof against the other. “Yes! We’re not perfect! Let’s keep going.”

“Keep going?”

“Yeah! Let’s get it all out of the way. All the reasons we feel awkward and dumb and scared!”

“You…” Luna tilted her head like a confused dog. “You just want us to say bad things about ourselves?”

“Yep!” Miss Pommel answered cheerfully. “I’ll start, okay? I resent ponies thinking of me as cute, but I still feel offended whenever anyone doesn’t!” She shivered slightly. “Oh my, I really can’t believe I said that out loud.” She nodded smartly to her date. “Your turn.”

“I…” Luna closed her mouth and took a deep breath. “This is difficult. I seriously don’t think this is how first dates should go!”

“Apparently, it’s how this one is going!” Miss Pommel declared. “Sometimes I think my cutie mark looks more like a flying saucer than a hat! That one was for free. Now you really have to do one.”

Luna grimaced, then closed her eyes and spoke quickly. “I threw a tantrum several weeks ago that I’m very ashamed about? Dr. Pipp made some criticisms about the ways Equestria hasn’t been inclusive to non-pony creatures, and even though I agree with her, I reacted defensively and immaturely. I apologized, but I think I lost her respect, and it caused me to doubt I did the right thing in joining the committee in the first place.”

“I’m kind of a wimp,” Miss Pommel stated. “I take on too many responsibilities, because I’m never brave enough to say no, and then when I get in over my head, I just use that as more evidence for why I shouldn’t trust myself to say no to anything.”

“I… Luna blinked. “I keep having the same conflict with my sister over and over, even though it’s simply not that large an issue: I’m an introvert and she’s an extrovert, and we have to make allowances for one another. But sometimes I just can’t help myself, and I’m grumpy about it, even though I know perfectly well how it always goes.”

“I had a terrible date with Rarity, and it was all her fault!” Miss Pommel shouted, grinning; very vaguely noting how cathartic this was turning out to be. “But I was secretly relieved, because a part of me really resented how perfect she was, and I always stomped down on that because I thought it’d make me like the really awful fashion ponies I know!”

Luna replied quickly, the energy really starting to flow now. “I often enjoy the Grand Galloping Gala, but my sister acts like that’s wrong, like anyone smart would find it boring, and that makes me worry the things I like are somehow objectively dull!”

“I hate Bridleway musicals. Hate them, hate them, hate them!”

“I enslaved the entire world and had to be banished to the moon for a thousand years!!”

Neither of them said anything for a moment.

Luna stood up, then sat back down. Her blush was huge. “That, perhaps, was a step too far.”

“I think it might not have been.” Miss Pommel took a hesitant step forward, then another, and then she was close enough to nuzzle Luna, so she did. When she pulled back, it felt like she was looking at someone exactly the same age as herself. “That’s it, isn’t it? That’s why you feel so awkward dating.”

“I know I shouldn’t,” Luna mumbled, “because anyone I could date wouldn’t have been around for it. ...Because I was banished to the moon for a thousand years for doing something horrible, so of course they wouldn’t.” She kept looking down at the floor, miserable.

Miss Pommel frowned, but something familiar came upon her. Normally she hated it when this happened and she had company over, but this was different.

She walked over to the easel she used for sketches and flipped to a new page. Idly noticing that Luna was watching her in surprise, she grabbed a pencil in her teeth and quickly began drawing.

“What are you doing?” Luna asked, sounding too bemused to be sad anymore.

Miss Pommel held up a hoof to indicate she demanded silence for the moment. She beheld her sketches, nodded once, and spat the pencil onto the floor. “I am making you a hat,” she declared.

“You… what?” Luna walked closer, perplexed. “Why?”

“Because you inspired me!” She walked over to the shelves of fabric, eyeing them critically. “It’s got to be fairly simple if I’m going to get it done today, but I follow my muse when she comes to me.”

Luna gaped at the design, then over to Miss Pommel. “It’s… it doesn’t look simple.” She looked back at the design, tilting her head a bit. “It doesn’t even look like it fits in three-dimensional space.”

“That’s an illusion; you’ll see how it works. And it’s the point!” Miss Pommel pulled out some felt, which was close enough to what she needed, and walked over to the cluttered design table. “You don’t make sense to anyone. Because you’ve been alive for over a thousand years; how can anypony else possibly understand that? But see?” She wiggled the material around. “It’s frilly and floppy. This isn’t armor; it’s delicate. Because the same thing making you strange also makes you sensitive and real.”

Luna was just staring at her.

“And and and!” Miss Pommel continued. “As you know, art isn’t just its display. Art is its creation! So that’s why you have to help me make it. You’ve got to be in charge of the colors. Is that okay?”

“Yes,” Luna replied, sounding as if she had no idea what that word meant even as she said it.

“Great! See, this hat has to be incomprehensible, but at the same time, it could only have been made by two ponies working together towards the same goal. Because this isn’t hopeless. You aren’t hopeless.” She held the fabric up to her own head and let it dangle oddly. “See? This is about how communication, even through a thousand years, is possible.” She giggled childishly in delight. “This is great!” She went to get some measuring tape, but paused as a warm blob of magic held her in place.

She turned back to see Luna looking at her with outright wonder. “What is even happening?”

“Umm…” Miss Pommel suddenly felt her creative energy subside a bit. “I’m sorry! Am I railroading you? I… I meant what I said about my muse, but I also just thought it’d be fun to do together. It’s just a hat.’

“The hat is important,” Luna said firmly. She seemed to reach a decision, and she nodded once. “The hat is very, very important. Because you just seduced a princess with that hat.”

Miss Pommel’s mouth fell open. Luna didn’t look the same age anymore; she had the confidence of a goddess in her movements. “We should get to work. But first.” She leaned forward very, very slightly. “May I?”

Miss Pommel couldn’t do much more than squeak. “Uh huh, yes please,”

The kiss was very brief, and it lasted a thousand years, simultaneously. When Luna pulled away, she looked eternal, calm, sweet. “May I tell you a secret? I was not expecting this to go well. Not because of you, just because it felt impossible to even imagine.”

“Mm hmm? What do you think now?”

Luna leaned down and kissed her again, more playfully this time. “It’s easier to imagine, now.”

Miss Pommel bopped her on the nose lightly. “Good.” She turned and went over to the designing table, leaving plenty of room next to her. “Help me measure?”

Luna came over, leaning close, almost touching. They got to work.

FEMME Sleep

Trixie’s expression looked truly bizarre on her, and it took a few moments for Fluttershy to realize what it was: she was so apoplectic with rage that she couldn’t think of what to say. Trixie always knew what to say. It was often the completely wrong thing, but she always knew.

Rarity was still stunned. “I don’t know what you think you heard, Trixie, but…”

“What I think I heard?” Trixie stepped forward, crackling noises coming from her horn. “Oh, is that my punchline, since I’m such a biiiiig joke? Ha ha ha, Trixie’s deaf, it’s so funny?”

Fluttershy and Rarity glanced at one another. “What…?”

“Shut up! It sounded good in my head, just shut up!!”

Rarity pulled herself up, regaining her dignity just a bit. “You’re a bit out of control.”

“I am not out of control!” Trixie screeched. “This isn’t fair, you can’t use me like this!”

“Use you? Please…”

“I am not your rock bottom!” Trixie snapped fiercely. “I’m a professional! I’m super hot! I’m nice, now! You can’t do this to me!”

Rarity scowled like a Canterlot native, and it was the ugliest she had ever looked. “Really, darling. This is your problem, you’re so insecure. It’s not attractive at all.”

Fluttershy pulled back, almost in shock at what she had just heard.

“Insecure?!” Trixie snapped. “That’s… you say those things about me and then have the nerve to call me insecure?!”

“Well, I’m sorry if we don’t have the best impression of you after the things you’ve done,” Rarity retorted. “Perhaps if you hadn’t boasted so much, or if you hadn’t…”

“Don’t.” Trixie’s voice was suddenly ice. “Don’t. Mention. The amulet.”

“Yes, really, please don’t,” Fluttershy heard herself adding.

Rarity paused, looking annoyed a bullet had been taken out of her gun. “Your disastrous boasting when you first showed up was enough.”

“You! You!” Trixie fumed wordlessly for a moment before spitting out, “I wasn’t the bad guy, there! You were heckling me! Like, I’m sorry I dyed your mane orange or whatever…”

“It was green, and you know it!” Rarity screeched. “You talked Sweetie Belle into dyeing her own mane green two weeks ago, just to play some kind of prank on me!”

Trixie paused. “Okay, yes, fine, you got me there. She looks really good, though!”

“She’s my little sister; of course she does, but don’t you dare change the subject!” Rarity fumed. “You boasted, and it turned everypony against you! Fluttershy was there; she’ll back me up.”

Fluttershy, who had no clue what she was even supposed to be backing up, stared at Rarity fearfully. Fortunately but also very unfortunately, Rarity clarified: “When you act so badly that even the kindest pony in Equestria can’t defend you, then it’s time to stop lying to yourself, don’t you think? Starlight aside, you couldn’t possibly be so foolish as to think that anyone in Ponyville has a positive impression of you.”

Fluttershy felt like she was kicked in the stomach by Rarity’s outrageous cruelty. She had never seen her friend like this, never. Trixie, meanwhile, had been reduced to furious, teeth-grinding silence. Or, as Fluttershy could easily discern, the desperate feigning of furious, teeth-grinding silence meant to keep herself from noticing she was about to start crying.

Someone knocked on the door, and a moment later, Moon Dancer’s voice called out from the hallway, “Fluttershy, are you in there?”

“Y...yes! I’m fine! We’re all fine!” Fluttershy frettingly smiled up at Rarity and Trixie, almost desperate. “Right?”

The knocking continued, louder. “It doesn’t sound fine. Let me in! Or at least let Fluttershy out. You both know how much she can’t stand conflict!”

Trixie gasp-laughed, appalled and furious. “Conflict!” She grabbed the door with her magic and threw it open. “This isn’t a conflict. A conflict is between two ponies. This is between a real pony and a, a walking punchline.”

She stormed to the doorway, but Moon Dancer just stood there, looking baffled and concerned. “Oh, come on!” Trixie shrieked. “At least let me make my big exit!”

Moon Dancer still didn’t move, but it was already too late: Trixie was very clearly crying and everyone could very clearly tell.

Rarity took a step forward, looking like she wanted to throw up. “Trixie…”

“I read your stupid book.” Trixie muttered, grimacing down at the floor, sniffling in a way that made it very clear she was failing to keep herself from sniffling. “With all the lessons. You know what the moral of that whole Ursa Minor thing was, right? It wasn’t ‘don’t boast.’ It was the opposite. Twilight learned a great, positive, Celestia-certified lesson that she should boast.”

Her voice was harsh, almost raspy. This was Trixie offstage, something Fluttershy had never seen before. “No no, the lesson was ‘don’t boast if you actually suck.’ Don’t boast if you’re like Trixie. So if everyone hates me, well then. I’m sorry I suck so much, I guess.”

No one moved for a moment, but then Moon Dancer very slowly walked forward and embraced her. Trixie struggled to get away for a moment and then gave up.

“Noooo,” she moaned, feebly waving her head around. “If I have an actual friend, it’s ruining this whole thing! I want to be like ‘I don’t need anyone!’ and you’re just making that look stuuuuupiiiiid!” Her words were absorbed by elaborate sobbing.

Moon Dancer held her tightly and glared at Rarity. That glare was bad. Moon Dancer was wonderful in so many ways, but she had a tendency to wander into situations that needed defusing and to pour gasoline on all the fuses. “Rarity?” Fluttershy ventured. “I think we should, um, take a walk, maybe?”

But Rarity did not have time to respond. “She thought you were her friend,” Moon Dancer growled.

“Eek! Moon Dancer, please!” Fluttershy waved her hooves and wings around frantically. “Please don’t!”

Rarity, however, just stood stock still, jaw wide, staring helplessly. Fluttershy felt her energy ebb, and she settled down to the floor. “She’s not acting like herself. I don’t know what’s wrong, but please. She’s being mean, but you know she’s not a mean pony…”

“She’s not?” Moon Dancer interrupted, contempt oozing between the cracks in her words. “Are you sure? After Miss Pommel the other night, and now this? Don’t be naive.”

Fluttershy felt some spring snap in her chest at that, but Rarity lurched forward. “No, don’t! I couldn’t bear it if the two of you fought! I’m the one who’s been so awful. Don’t be mad at one another!”

Moon Dancer glared at her and then sighed. “Fine.” She turned to Fluttershy, looking genuinely repentant. “I’m sorry; I know you’re not naive. But I can’t just forgive this…”

“Doooonnnn’t,” Trixie wailed from within the embrace. “You’re just giving her what she waaaaaaants!”

“Um. What?”

“Ughh, use your brain!” Trixie pulled away from Moon Dancer, rolling her eyes. She sniffled once, disgustingly, but after that, her voice was clear as always. “She’s obviously trying to make everyone mad at her on purpose, because she’s guilty about starting all these relationships that aren’t going to go anywhere!” She marched up to Rarity and poked a hoof at her chest angrily. “So hey, screw around Pommel Girl in public, then act like a jerk in front of Fluttershy, ta-da, she’s the big villain. Which is what she wants, because she has a deep-seated discomfort about when things go wrong but there isn't huge drama!”

Everypony in the room stared at her in silence.

“I’m a professional counselor!!”

Fluttershy turned to Rarity in stunned wonder. “Is all of that true?” But Rarity was clearly not able to answer a question like that at the moment. She just sat on the floor, quiet.

“Moon Dancer was wrong,” Trixie snapped, glaring at Rarity. Her sobs were gone, but her cheeks were wet with fresh tears. “I never thought you were my friend. Because that would make me vulnerable to getting my feelings hurt, and I am too smart for that!” She actually stuck her nose up in the air, clearly trying to look smug and somehow pulling it off halfway. “But that still doesn’t mean you can use me as a prop in your little ‘Rarity’s bad at romance’ stage play.”

Rarity opened her mouth, but Trixie cut her off mid-inhale. “Do not apologize. Were you going to apologize?”

“...yes.”

“Don’t you dare apologize to me right now.” She turned and walked towards the door, then stopped. “Maybe later. Maybe. Get your act together, and then…. Maybe.” She glanced at Moon Dancer. “I am just so magnanimous. Isn’t it awe-inspiring?”

Moon Dancer rolled her eyes, but her amusement was obvious, too. “Just make your exit while you can, weirdo.” Trixie smiled back, softly, and it was another of those off-stage expressions Fluttershy had never seen before. Then she strode out of the room.

Starlight squished her head between four different pillows, dozing fitfully. She had always been told memory manipulation magic could be exhausting and confusing, but she hadn’t expected how overwhelming it’d be. Things she’d wanted to forget were now neon-bright in her mind as if they’d just happened five seconds ago, but none of the context for them was nearly as fresh. As she slipped in and out of sleep, they kept replaying.

She’d done it three times. Three things had been horrible enough for her to justify erasing. Not horrible from guilt… she knew she couldn’t run from her sins that way. Not horrible from fear… everything even in the changeling lair had been bearable. Horrible from awkwardness. That sounded incredibly pathetic to phrase it that way in her head, but it was just undeniably true.

She had been fifteen and very angry, and so she had sought out the angriest music she could find. The lyrics of this music were all very deep and meaningful on account of all the anger, and anyone who said different just didn’t get it. Earlier that very same day, she’d defended them to her father: “You just don’t get it!” she had literally, in exactly so many words said. Then she had huffed on back into her room, where she promptly spent the next three hours looking into the mirror, practicing her expressions of bitter ennui and mouthing along, doing a very good impression of Henry Stallions, if she did say so herself.

The song she was on had been about isolation and mistreatment, which was very appropriate, given how horribly her father was betraying her by opening the door to her bedroom to ask her to show off some magic to him and his friends. When they saw how sincerely she was performing the lyric “Your hate is bleeding me / Hate hate hate / Bleeding bleeding blood” (which was a favorite of hers), he looked completely dumbstruck, and the rest of them were clearly trying not to laugh, to varying degrees of success.

She, sensibly, screamed, teleported into the bathroom, and locked the door until they left. She considered running away and living in the forest for the rest of her life, but eventually she decided to play around with that memory manipulation magic she’d been learning about.

Then there was the Rarity thing, which was still more baffling than anything else. The memories she’d deleted were good ones. She’d felt proud and warm about her mature communication skills and her ability to fling herself out of the closet so soon after realizing she was in one... and, well, Rarity had indeed known what she was doing, that last time.

It wasn’t the memories she’d wanted to erase, it was just the knowledge that it had happened. It just felt like it was wrong, and she didn’t even know if she meant “wrong” like incorrect or like immoral, but either way, as time passed, she just got more and more agitated about the whole thing.

Oddly, she felt kind of better now that she’d wrecked a brunch from it all. And come to think of it, it was a good thing she'd erased her own memory in the meantime. If it hadn’t, and if she’d done that with her friend and nothing bad had happened, then she might have gone around thinking it was okay. When you break the rules, things should go bad, and finally, finally the horseshoe dropped. It was a relief.

The third time she used that spell on herself, though, was the most upsetting. It was also the weirdest; she had no real idea when it had even happened. It was just this episode that now had popped back into her mind, hovering on its own like a helicopter.

The Crystal Empire was a welcoming place, but she felt like everyone was staring at her in harsh judgment for reasons she half-understood but she probably deserved. She tried to ignore it and just focused on the door she had just knocked on. If she was lucky, it wouldn’t open.

She wasn’t lucky. Sunburst stood there in the doorway, smiling at her condescendingly. “You found me,” he announced, and then he stepped back and let her walk in. She was surprised to see that he’d decorated his house just like his childhood home.

That was weird; he never liked his mom’s tastes, and it wasn’t at all like the other times she’d been to his house since he’d grown up. Maybe this was the first time, and he redecorated it just afterwards?

“Hey,” she said.

“Yes,” he replied. “We’d better get right to it, I guess!”

She looked at him blankly. “Get right to… what?”

Instead of replying, he turned and walked to a nearby door, swinging it open. His bedroom was on the other side, and it was dark and velvety in there. Again, not like his normal bedroom at all.

It occurred to Starlight that this may in fact have been a dream. She wasn’t sure what to make of that possibility; it would explain why Sunburst had never tried to talk to her about this, but it meant she was the kind of pony so upset by an awkward nightmare, she deleted it from her own memory.

They went into his bedroom; he faced her expectantly. “I guess we have to,” he said plainly.

She realized what he was talking about, her mouth falling open. “You… what? Why?”

“Because you found me,” he answered. “Got no choice.” His horn glowed, and the ceiling lit up with a facsimile of the night sky, beautiful, glowing stars. “Don’t want me to leave again, do you?”

She was on the bed, now, feeling confused. “Wait, Sunburst, stop! We can’t…”

“But you found me,” he repeated.

“I did, but…”

He appeared in front of her, cutting her off with some sort of magic thing she didn’t quite make out, but which took her breath away. He was kissing her, and it felt like she didn’t want to move and was desperately trying but failing to move at the same time. She fell backwards, and he stood over her, looking down, impassive.

“Oops,” he said. “She found me, too.” He indicated the window with a nod of his head. She looked over and saw herself as a ten year-old staring in, looking absolutely gobsmacked.

Yes, right, this probably really was a dream.

“This is terrible. Too bad we have no choice.” Sunburst flung his cloak into the corner. When he turned back, he looked weirdly handsome and streamlined, like a drawing of himself, and Starlight felt the sickest, saddest feeling overcome her. It was unbearable, a sense of pure dread and hopelessness and acquiescence. It was maybe the worst thing she’d ever felt. The feeling did not dissipate as they began to kiss.

Starlight woke up suddenly. For a moment, she wasn’t sure if she was waking up from the dream or from the memory of the dream, but hazily, slowly, it came back to her: She was in a hotel room in Manehattan, the lights out, but late afternoon sunlight coming through the window. She was also not alone in her bed. Someone was spooning her, forelegs wrapped around her chest from behind.

Surprisingly, even after that dream-memory, she didn’t panic. In fact, when she noticed the azure fur on the forelegs and heard Trixie’s distinctive sleep-mumbling, she relaxed so quickly she almost fell back asleep. It was weird that Trixie was doing this… was she just worried about her friend? Had something else gone wrong?... but it wasn’t all that weird. It was nice.

“I’m not a fly swatter,” Trixie grunted. She wriggled around softly, then buried her face in the back of Starlight’s neck.

Starlight, not for the first time, reflected on the fact that she was not in any way sexually attracted to Trixie. Because with how close they were? With all their history and intimacy and shared commitments? That lack of sexual attraction was the only thing keeping Starlight from being hopelessly, ruinously in love with her best friend. Which would be a nightmare, obviously.

“No, gimme those back, those are my teeeeeth…”

She’d thought she might be attracted to Trixie, for a little while there. It was always a bit confusing that she wasn’t more upset about that, but now she knew the whole Rarity thing had happened and grabbed the attention of all her anxieties.

Weird. Everything actually kind of had worked out. She idly felt bad about hurting Rarity’s feelings, but they’d deal with that. She felt sleepy and safe and warm.

She snuggled herself back into Trixie’s embrace and let herself drift off again.

Pinkie spat out the pencil and took a step back from her sketchbook. The balloony writing stared back at her: THE PATH TO MATURITY IS DIFFICULT BUT WORTH IT!!

Banners were always the hardest part of party decoration, because there just wasn’t enough room to be too wordy, but the whole point was they were designed for this creature at this event, so they had to be specific. And the balance here was really hard.

She frowned. It was just too busy, especially with the diamond patterns she’d included. Rarity was a talky kind of pony, but she liked simplicity and elegance. Pinkie picked up her pencil, erased the words “THE PATH TO,” and regarded her design again.

The phone rang, and she sighed. Usually she was bugged by interruptions when she was designing, but this was going nowhere. Maybe Fluttershy was right, and huge, awkward conflicts were just not appropriate occasions for a party, no matter how hard she worked to try to put a positive spin on everything.

She picked up the receiver and mid-motion realized she was going to talk to a friend, even if it was one she hadn’t met yet. Phone calls were amazing because of that. So she was already cheerful by the time she said, “Hiya!”

The unfamiliar voice (so it WAS a brand new friend!!) hitched slightly. “Uh. Yes, hello, I’m just letting you know the room service you ordered is ready, and someone will be bringing it up to you presently.”

“Whaaaaaat?!” she squealed.

“Uh. Your… your room service? You did intend to order food, didn’t you?”

“You’ll just bring it all the way to my room?!”

“Yes. ...That’s the service.”

“I thought it was service because it was like the army!” Pinkie enthused. “This is awesome! You must be some kind of hotel genius!”

“...Um.”

“Oh! Hold on, I have to tell my roommate about this! Thanks!” Pinkie hung up and trotted up to the bathroom door. She knocked, hearing small splashes in response. “Ocellus!!” she called through the door. “How’re you liking the hot tub?!”

“Oh, uh, it’s great, professor! Thank you for suggesting it.”

“Yay! Oh! And you know that room service we ordered? Guess what! They’re just bringing it to us!!”

Ocellus paused for a moment. “Yeah? Because, um, isn’t that just what room service is?”

“It is?!”

“Didn’t you know that?” Ocellus’s voice sounded baffled, for some reason. “I’m pretty sure you told me about it before we even came here.”

“I did?” Pinkie scrunched her forehead up in thought, then gasped as the pieces fit together. “Ohh! This must be why I kept asking Moon Dancer to hypnotize me, yesterday! So I could forget what room service is and have my mind totally blown when I found out again!” She giggled. “Forgetting stuff is great! I dunno what Starlight’s problem is.”

“Eeehhh…”

“Oh! Sorry! You shouldn’t hear about what’s going on in the private lives of all your teachers.”

“Yes. Thank you.” More splashing; Ocellus probably sat up. “Um, Professor Pinkie Pie, is it okay if they bring my order in here? I have the curtain drawn and everything. I just. I’m stressed out, so I don’t want to have to get out if I don’t have to.”

“Oh, sure! Just soak up that relaxation!”

“Um,” Ocellus continued, “and I think I might just go right to bed after I get out? Is that all right? I’ll just, uh, stay in here, and then I’ll get out and go into my room and go to sleep? And… I’ll probably be quiet because. Um. Because I’m so stressed out. But it’s okay: I’ll just be in my room, asleep! All night!”

“Sounds good to me!” Pinkie agreed, even though something actually sounded kind of weird about it. But before she could think about it much, there was a knock at the door. “Aaaa!!!”

She ran over and threw open the door. “Room service?!” she asked, grinning hugely.

The mare stared back at her. “Did you order the entire chocolate cake and the pint of ice cream?”

“Do I look like I ordered the entire chocolate cake and the pint of ice cream?!” Pinkie bellowed happily in response. The other pony did not reply, so she clarified: “Yeppers! C’mon in!”

The other pony walked in pushing her big cart, only pausing slightly when Pinkie began to chortle madly. “You really brought it all the way up here!”

The pony smiled politely. “Where did you want me to put this?”

“Oh! The chocolate cake goes in my tummy, but for now you can just put it on the table. And the ice cream is for the creature in the hot tub!” Pinkie trotted over to the bathroom door. “Ocellus, ready for your food?”

“Hold on, one moment!” There was a soft scramble of activity from the bathroom. “Let me get behind the curtain. Um, and one other thing: I was drinking a soda earlier! Is it okay if the room service pony takes the bottle to be recycled when they drop off the ice cream?”

“Of course,” the hotel pony called back.

“Thank you! All right, I’m ready, bring in the ice cream!”

The hotel pony picked up the ice cream and went into the bathroom with it, emerging again after a moment with an empty soda bottle in her teeth. She placed the bottle on top of her cart and turned to Pinkie. “Was there anything else?”

“Nope! I just hope you know that you’ve totally made our entire night!” Pinkie trotted over to her dresser and pulled out some bits. She’d forgotten what room service was, but thankfully Moon Dancer had left her with the memory that room service ponies should be tipped, which was nice.

Receiving the bits made the hotel pony relax, and she smiled gently. “Thank you. Have you been enjoying pride?”

“Oh, yeah!” Pinkie enthused. “The parade was great, and it’s always so, so, so fun to come to Manehattan! But I had a pretty easy job here, y’know. My friends are all having to confront all their personal problems. I’m just here to chaperone a student, and this particular student is super smart and super responsible and was never gonna be any trouble anyway!”

“Well.” The hotel pony walked over to her cart and nodded. As she began to push it, the soda bottle wobbled slightly, but it stayed in place. “We’re all very happy you’ve had such a good time staying with us.”

Pinkie happily waved goodbye as the hotel pony and her cart left the room. It was so great to make new friends.

She glanced down at her sketchbook, the thought of friends reminding her that she had several good ones who were probably miserable at the moment. A party probably wouldn’t be the right thing to do, but in that case, Pinkie was helpless, and she didn’t like that.

On a whim, she erased "BUT WORTH IT." That left a message which was nice and pithy, but it made life look like an ongoing struggle, which, duh, but parties were supposed to make everyone forget about that for a while!

No. She would buckle down and solve this problem. ...After she ate this entire chocolate cake, of course. Maturity was difficult.

Femme Is Truly Outrageous

The gossip session had only just started, but the empty soda bottle was already deeply uncomfortable. It perched on top of the cart, unmoving.

“You didn’t hear?” The housekeeper grinned at the room attendant. “There was a huge argument! Half a dozen ponies complained about it. They’d have gotten kicked out if Fluttershy hadn’t done such a good job apologizing.”

“Blue Blazer isn’t going to kick out Elements of Harmony,” the room attendant said dismissively. “He probably expected this! Everyone knows they’re all sleeping with each other.”

The concierge gasped. “What?! No they aren’t. Really?”

“Obviously! It’s basically an open secret that Starlight Glimmer is Princess Twilight’s secret lovechild. The only question is who the mother is!”

“Wait… what? How does…”

“Um, magic, obviously!” the housekeeper waved his hoof chidingly. “Come on. This mysteeeerious unicorn shows up completely out of nowhere and is ‘Princess Twilight’s student?’ And she just lives in the castle now?”

“...Huh. Yeah, that does make a lot of sense.” The concierge shrugged. “So the others…”

“Well, the glasses one is obviously Discord in disguise, because everypony knows he’s dating Fluttershy. Because I heard she cheated with him when she was dating… um. What’s her name, the one I always forget. Applejack.”

The soda bottle fell over onto its side.

The room attendant gasped. “No! Fluttershy? Do you think that’s what the fight was about?”

“No way, the fight was about Rainbow Dash, of course. They’re all secretly in love with her.”

The bottle slowly began to roll. It reached the edge of the cart and fell; luckily, the floor was carpeted, so there was very little sound when it landed. It gradually inched its way down the hall.

“No, I heard they’re all in love with Pinkie Pie, so they had to make a bunch of Pinkie clones so everyone could have one. There’s six different Pinkies, because Starlight wanted one, too.”

“Wowww. Can you believe they’re all teachers, too? At the School of Friendship! If I was their student and I knew all this, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything else.”

“I know, right?? I’d just be continuously thinking about their grotesquely incestuous personal lives, whether I wanted to or not.”

“Exactly! Rainbow Dash is trying to teach me about being loyal, or whatever, and all I’d be able to think is, ‘You made out with both Starlight Glimmer and Princess Celestia at the same time.’”

The soda bottle finally, finally made it around the corner, into the hallway’s alcove. It swiftly transformed into a changeling who immediately opened up the nearby ice machine and shoved her own head into it. She kept it there until the mental images went away.

She pulled her head out and shook off the ice cubes stuck to her head fin. Her determination had not wavered. No matter how many personal details she learned about her old, apparently extremely adventurous teachers, no matter how much trouble she got into, she would understand herself.

Smolder deserved that. Smolder deserved a real answer.

Determined but feeling very, very tired, she left the alcove and made her way to the elevators.

“Ugggh, Staaarrrliiiiight.” Trixie rolled her eyes but didn’t let it in any way interrupt the placement of her mascara. “Stop. I told you, it doesn’t matter what Rarity said. We had a fight, she was mean, whatever. The important thing is, I won.”

“I just need to know if I should be mad at her or not,” Starlight protested. “I hurt her feelings earlier, and…” She recoiled as Trixie’s hoof suddenly appeared in her face, pressing down on her muzzle.

“Shush shush shush,” Trixie cooed, somehow still applying her make-up like a champ. “Rarity is having a stupid little stupid Rarity crisis. She is not worth worrying about right now. ...Except, as I said before, to be proud of me because I demolished her in our argument.”

Starlight held her glare for a moment before levitating Trixie’s hoof off of her mouth. “You know, there’s entire curricula at the school about how thinking about arguments in terms of ‘winning’ is…”

“Something only winners do, yes yes yes, I know,” Trixie interrupted. “Look, I’ve learned a very important lesson about never trusting anypony ever again, but other than that, I already know any of the friendship stuff there is to know!”

“That… doesn’t sound like a very good lesson.”

“Staaaarliiiiiiiiiiight!” Trixie whined. “Remember what we agreed? We’re only going to make bad decisions, tonight!”

“Yeah, I absolutely did not agree with…”

“Bad decisions!!” Trixie enthused. “I am the best at making bad decisions, so you’re going to have to work hard to keep up with me!” She very suddenly somehow had a bottle of whiskey, which she chugged. Then, she pertly dropped her makeup onto the table and winked at her own reflection in the mirror. “Bad decisions!”

She strode to the door and threw it open, trotting out vainly. Starlight followed her out, much more slowly.

“Oh! Uh, hi!” Starlight looked up to see Fluttershy and Moon Dancer stepping out of their own room. Fluttershy was waving, her hesitant smile only halfway making Starlight guilty again about ruining brunch.

“Hi, squares!” Trixie sang blithely. “I’m surprised you two old ladies aren’t in bed, yet.”

Moon Dancer pulled out a pocketwatch and glanced at it. She rolled her eyes. “It’s not even late. Are you two going out again?”

“Naturally.” Trixie posed, probably imagining the spotlight so intently she could actually see it. “We wouldn’t deny the Manehattan night life our glamorous presence.”

“Um, it’s just, are you sure that’s a good idea?” Fluttershy ventured. “After everything that happened today, maybe it’d be nice to, um, take it easy?”

“Hmf!” Trixie had her eyes closed, so she wasn’t looking at anything, but she somehow mostly wasn’t looking at the door to Rarity’s room. “I, for one, am not the kind of pony to let drama keep me from enjoying myself! Besides, I already helped Starlight last night. It’s her turn to wingmare me!”

“Yeah, this one’s just for Trixie,” Starlight assured them. “But don’t worry. I feel a lot better after my nap.”

Fluttershy did not look convinced. Moon Dancer checked the time again.

“Are you… late for something?” Starlight asked.

“What? No.” Moon Dancer shoved the watch back into her pocket. “What?”

“Since when do you even carry a watch?”

“I bought it to help you!” Moon Dancer griped. “I might as well use it, right?”

“I’ve never met anypony who cares less about what time it is than you,” Starlight said. “I’ve seen you make yourself a midnight snack at three in the afternoon.”

“Well, maybe I have something planned tonight!” Moon Dancer snapped. She paused, glancing over at Fluttershy, who was just smiling patiently. “I mean…”

“We were going to go check on Ocellus,” Fluttershy explained. “We thought she might want to talk through her issue with Smolder.”

“Guh, right,” Starlight replied, shaking her head in disappointment. “I’m so disappointed in her. They should both know not to get into situations like that with friends. I’m glad you’re going to talk some sense into her.”

“...Well, I hope we can help her to feel better,” Fluttershy said after just a hint of an awkward pause.

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Trixie breezed, “you go be, ugh, ‘responsible.’ We’re gonna go make bad decisions! Wish us luck!”

“You aren’t somepony who needs luck for that,” Moon Dancer remarked.

“I hope you meant that as a compliment!” Trixie bellowed. “And if you didn’t, then the joke’s on you! I’m taking it as one anyway!”

Fluttershy frowned anxiously. “Please be safe.”

“We will,” Starlight assured her, trying to ignore the fact that Trixie was impatiently tugging her leg towards the direction of the elevator.

“We will not,” Trixie insisted, tugging even harder.

“Ugg, Trixie!” Starlight let herself get yanked away; it was worth it to be able to roll her eyes so the others could see. “Bye, we’ll see you tomorrow morning!”

“Nope!” Trixie insisted. “Probably gonna be dead before then!” She kicked over a nearby trash can. “Bad decissssiiiiooons!!! I’m gonna headbutt a cop and make out with a diamond dog!”

“Trixie, no.” Starlight knew her objection wouldn’t do any good, but she made sure to voice it before being pulled around the corner away from the others. At least they would know somepony was being the voice of reason.

Granny Smith took a moment to remind herself to move slowly before she stepped up to the bouncer. “Yep?!” she snapped, ornery and impatient.

“Err.” The bouncer blinked at her. Granny Smith had heard about “being carded,” to verify age, and she knew that to avoid it, it only made sense to be very old. But she really did stand out among the rest of the clubgoers. “Do, uh, you have…”

“A bad hip?!” she snapped. “I sure do! Is it acting up? It sure is! Making paying customers stand out on the sidewalk like a bunch of polecats. You oughta be ashamed!”

The bouncer frowned. “I…”

“Listen here, sonny boy!” Granny Smith leaned in, poking him in the chest. “I hurt this hip fightin’ for Equestria in the Boar War, back when you were just a twinkle in yer grandpappy’s onion garden! I ain’t fit to stand out here in the cold one second longer!”

He blinked at her, baffled. She idly realized that she recognized him: it was that security guard outside the pride committee’s tent, the one who knew Pinkie Pie. “It’s… this is a nightclub. Are you sure you’re in the right place?”

“Of course I’m in the right place!” Granny Smith seethed. “Are you saying I don’t know where I’m going? Well, I’m madder than a box full of turnips! Why, back home in Ponyville, I’m a pillar of the community! They’d never treat me like this!”

“Yeah, come on, man,” the unicorn behind Granny Smith grunted. “She’s a war hero.”

The bouncer scratched his head helplessly. As she’d suspected, mentioning Ponyville had an effect; he associated it with Pinkie Pie, who was benevolent and sincere. He finally frowned and said, “I apologize,” waving Granny Smith through. She stomped past him, then remembered to favor her bad hip and started to stomp more gingerly.

Once inside, her plan was to pause and take a deep breath to recover from how draining that sort of confrontation was. But she was not prepared for the crowd.

She had never encountered anything like this, much less been right in the middle of it. It sounded like someone set a panic attack to music, it smelled like vinegar and sweat, and it felt like a bunch of ponies jostling her because she had been in here for five seconds and already about a million ponies had jostled her.

She realized she had been mindlessly walking forward, propelled by the throng, and she numbly caught sight of an open area, filled with ponies (and a couple of other creatures, but mostly ponies) dancing. She thought. Maybe. Or dying.

There was even more touching happening over there, but it was different from the hurried nudge of someone trying to squeeze past in a crowd. This, despite the jerking speed, was slow and prolonged and smooth. Those ponies over on the dance floor were… rubbing each other.

She hated it. It was fascinating.

She pulled her eyes away and found a burst of energy she used to find a bathroom. Very luckily, there was an open stall, and she darted inside, finally, dizzily, with a moment to herself. Besides everything else, there was an overwhelming amount of overly rich foods in this building, and she had to effortfully keep from eating anything, or she might get sick.

A few moments later, a light orange earth pony emerged from the stall and walked up to the sink, eying herself in the mirror. This was a form she’d used before when exploring Ponyville, pleasant but nondescript, designed to not be someone anyone would particularly want to strike up a conversation with.

A new, unfamiliar feeling ticked the back of her head, and she focused on it long enough to know it was dangerous. It was the sense that having a stranger, one of these older, bizarre, frenetic creatures, strike up a conversation with her here in this place might actually not be so bad.

She very quickly pushed that thought as far down into her mind as it would go.

But before she could get rid of it, it had its effect. She looked back into the mirror; she was just a little more attractive and noticeable and interesting to look at.

This was bad. She had to keep control, keep organized. She was here to learn.

She stepped out into the club, suppressing a shiver, and let herself get lost in the crowd.

Moon Dancer reminded herself she had plenty of time. She thought this might stop her from checking her watch, but it did not.

Fluttershy was being very polite about the whole thing, just glancing around the elevator instead of remarking on Moon Dancer’s behavior, but she had to know something was up. And she wasn’t an idiot, so she had to know it was her engagement surprise. But she couldn’t know what the surprise was: how perfect, how elaborate. That would have to suffice.

“I hope Ocellus is fine,” Fluttershy said, leaning up against her fiancee softly. “I’d wanted to talk to her more, but it’s been hard to find time. Pinkie’s been really wonderful, taking care of her all weekend.”

Moon Dancer nodded, sliding the watch back in her pocket and almost relaxing. “It’ll be a relief to hang out with them after all the drama.”

She hadn’t meant that to be a pointed comment, but Fluttersy pulled back very slightly. “Are you still very angry with Rarity?”

“I am.” Fluttershy looked surprised at her blunt answer, so she clarified, “Trixie doesn’t have many friends; I feel like I have to stand with her.”

Fluttershy said nothing for a moment, frowning thoughtfully. “Rarity really does feel terrible about the things she said. I think she’s even more confused than I am, about why she’d act like that.”

“Mmm.” The elevator doors opened, which gave Moon Dancer an excuse to offer such a lame reply. She knew it wouldn’t suffice, though, so as they stepped out onto the second floor hallway, she nodded. “Yeah, okay. If you say so, I believe you.”

“It’s all just… I’m not even sure what to think.” Fluttershy sighed. “All I know is, when she said she wanted to be alone this afternoon, she looked sad in a… quiet kind of way. Not like herself at all.”

She stopped walking, frowning at the ugly hallway carpet. Moon Dancer stopped too, looking back and raising an eyebrow. “Are you okay?”

“Y...yes. I just feel kind of helpless.” Fluttershy squinted in thought, then shook her head, yes, helplessly. “I think she really doesn’t want to talk about what’s been going on. But she always wants to talk about her problems. Even when she insists she doesn’t. Um. Through a locked door, while sobbing. She knows it helps. But now… I think she really won’t.”

Moon Dancer nuzzled her fiancee softly. “Look. Rarity’s my friend. I promise. But she really messed up. She probably just needs space to get her head on straight. You can talk to her back in Ponyville.” She put her hoof against Fluttershy’s cheek, eliciting a welcome, soft smile. “C’mon, you know what’ll help your helplessness? Helping Ocellus.”

Fluttershy blinked. “...Yes?”

Moon Dancer smirked. “Yes; help Ocellus with Ocellus’s mess.”

“Oh.” Fluttershy nodded. “It’ll. Um. Spell the end, um, of my helplessness? To help Ocellus be well?”

“Selfishly, I’m jealous you can address and quell your helpless distress by helping Ocellus.”

Fluttershy laughed, loudly for her but still intimate. “Tell me the truth. It drives you crazy that your human self started a rap group and you didn’t.”

“Welllllll.” She kissed Fluttershy gently. They gazed at one another, warm and calm.

It turned out, they were pretty close to Pinkie’s suite, so it wasn’t long before they were outside the door. Moon Dancer had to mentally prepare herself; this was a jarring shift she was about to experience.

Moon Dancer liked Pinkie. She really did. Pinkie had wonderful pony-reading skills, and she had a purely benign heart. But like grief, there were stages to dealing with her.

She raised her hoof to knock, but before she even touched the wood, the door flew open. Pinkie stood there, eyes taking up the entirety of the top half of her face, panting furiously.

The first Pinkie Stage was always surprise. Always. Bewilderment usually followed quickly, but that was easier to deal with.

“Aha!” Pinkie screeched, pointing with a trembly hoof. “I get it! You went and found Moon Dancer to play a prank on me! Of course! It’s just a prank!”

She hopped up and down, then grabbed Fluttershy by the withers and shook her back and forth. “I knew you wouldn’t run away! I knew it was just a prank!”

Fluttershy darted back, cowering slightly.

“Ah ha ha ha ha!” Pinkie screamed. “But you can’t prank a prankstress! You didn’t get every detail right. Fluttershy has brown eyes! Nice try!”

Fluttershy’s dropped her haunches to the floor in overwhelmed confusion. “Pinkie, what are you…?”

“Pinkie.” Moon Dancer stepped forward, glaring. “Slow down. And please don’t shake Fluttershy.”

“It’s not really her!” Pinkie insisted. “I’ll prove it! Quick, ask a question only the fake Fluttershy would know the answer to!”

“Pinkie.”

“...Do… you really think I have brown eyes…?”

“Pinkie.” Moon Dancer’s bewilderment had worn off, and she noted she was skipping the ‘delight’ stage and heading straight into ‘annoyed.’ “Stop. What are you saying?”

“You’re a good student!” Pinkie asserted plaintively. “You wouldn’t just disappear and run off into the largest city in the world, alone, in the middle of the night!”

Moon Dancer and Fluttershy glanced at one another anxiously. “Hold on, are you saying Ocellus…”

“She didn’t eat her ice cream!” Pinkie wailed. “I went in to turn the lights off and her ice cream was on the floor, just melting like the forgotten dreams of an innocent child! So… so I went into her bedroom and she wasn’t there! Even though she said she’d be there all niiiiight! And if she’s not either of you, then… then…” Apparently remembering she could not shake Fluttershy but absolutely needing to shake someone, Pinkie grabbed Moon Dancer by the shoulders and flung her back and forth. “Aaaaaagh!”

Moon Dancer was so disoriented, she didn’t even notice her glasses falling off her face before Pinkie gasped loudly, dived down onto the carpet, and poked at them hopefully. “Ocellus? Is that…” She gave up, covering her eyes with her hooves. “It’s just glasses! It’s not herrrrrrrr!”

A blurry, yellow smudge hesitantly walked to the pink smudge. “Pinkie, um, can we go in your room to figure this out?”

“Okay, but she’s not under the couch!” Pinkie yelled. “Wait! Or maybe!!” A whooshing sound indicated she had rushed away, and Moon Dancer found herself slightly relieved this Ocellus thing was happening, if only because it would keep her from plunging into the rare seventh stage of being around Pinkie: ferocious, apoplectic wrath.

Moon Dancer gratefully accepted her glasses from Fluttershy, and they went inside the suite. She wasn’t even surprised to see furniture, clothes, and luggage strewn around, entirely at random.

The couch in the center of the room vibrated. “She’s not under the couuuuuuch!” Pinkie’s voice wailed from underneath it.

Frowning, Fluttershy walked over and lay down, reaching a hoof toward her friend. “Pinkie? Could you help us understand what happened? Did Ocellus sneak out?”

“Noooo,” Pinkie replied, miserable. “I mean, she’s not here! I searched absolutely everywhere.”

“I can’t understand why…” Fluttershy sat, forlorn confusion on her face. “...I thought she understood how important it was to be safe. Would this situation with Smolder make her do something like this?”

“Maybe?” Pinkie barked. “But I can’t believe she would just sneak off! It’s not like we repeatedly rewarded her and her friends for breaking the rules as long as they had some kind of friendship-related justification for it! Right???”

Fluttershy glanced nervously at Moon Dancer, then cleared her throat. “Um. I don’t know how we could find her alone. Didn’t Sunburst give us a magic device to use in case of emergency?”

“But…” Pinkie stuck her head out from under the couch, eyes frantic. “But that’ll call Sunburst and Twilight and Thorax! I don’t want to bother Twilight and everyone! It’s all my fault!”

“Pinkie… please, let’s not worry about anything like that, okay? Let’s just try to find her for now.”

Pinkie looked like she wanted to argue, then she very slightly relaxed. “...Okay. Let’s go get that pyramid thingie, and…”

“Forget it,” Moon Dancer snapped.

The others turned to her, mouths hanging open. She’d been silent for a while, letting the anger build to a delicious froth. “...What? But…”

“Don’t even bother,” Moon Dancer spat bitterly. “It’s pointless. Just forget about it.”

Fluttershy stood up, eyebrow slightly creased. “We need to find Ocellus. Why is it pointless to use the pyramid?”

Moon Dancer glowered at the floor, fighting the urge to just yell out every swear word she knew. “Because…” She sighed. This was it. “...because Twilight and Sunburst are here. In Manehattan. Right now.”

“Wait, what? Why…”

“They were helping set up your surprise!” Moon Dancer sat down, grimacing. “It was very intricately planned. Lots of magic. It was going to happen in…” She raised the pocketwatch, glanced at it, and tossed it over her shoulder. “...eighty-three minutes. But I guess that’s ruined, now.”

Fluttershy took a step forward, frowning. ”...Honey…”

“It’s okay.” Moon Dancer shook her head. “Actually, no, it isn’t. I’m furious. But you were right; all that matters now is making sure she’s safe.” She stood and walked stiffly to the door, head swimming. “I have to head back upstairs to get in touch with them. I’ll tell them to meet us here.”

Fluttershy nodded. “Okay.”

Moon Dancer stopped, sighed, and turned around. “Um. I don’t really trust myself to be great with ponies right now? But while I’m gone, could you tell Pinkie, in a nicer way, that this really isn’t her fault, so she should stop freaking out like a lunatic?”

Fluttershy blinked. She glanced over at Pinkie, then back to Moon Dancer. “Y...yes. A much nicer version, yes. I was already planning to.”

“Thank you. And that she shouldn’t worry, because this is exactly the kind of problem magic can help with.”

“Uh.” Fluttershy once again looked back and forth between the other two ponies in the room. “I can do that.”

Pinkie’s eyes were overflowing with tears. “Fluttershyyyy!” she wailed. “Please tell Moon Dancer that I super appreciate what she’s doing, and even if she says it’s not my fault I’m really really disappointed she can’t have the big engagement moment like she was planning!”

“You. You both are right here together in the same room. You could just…”

“Fluuttterrshhyyyyyyyyy!” Pinkie moaned. “Tell herrrrrr! But do it all gentle and kind like you do!”

“Yeah,” Moon Dancer agreed. “You’re good at stuff like this.”

Fluttershy sighed.

“Well, not just any diamond dog, obviously,” Trixie clarified. “A super hot one.”

“Trixie, no.” Starlight spoke quietly, but it wasn’t as if everyone near them on the sidewalk wasn’t completely aware of what they were talking about. “We teach the exact opposite of this! Don’t exoticize…”

“I wonder if I make her really turned on, she’ll howl.” Trixie turned to the pony behind them in line and poked them in the shoulder. “Hey. Do diamond dogs howl when they…”

Starlight forcefully clamped Trixie’s mouth closed and grinned anxiously at the pony, who actually didn’t even look surprised after standing in earshot of Trixie for the past ten minutes. Starlight pulled Trixie around to look at her, but paused when she saw the look in her friend’s eyes.

She sighed, releasing Trixie, whose smirk only widened. “You’re trying to embarrass me on purpose.”

“If a fight breaks out, that’ll be a bonus, too. Because then the cops will come, and I’m gonna headbutt a—”

“Trixie!!”

The pony behind them audibly sighed.

“I’m kidding, Starlight,” Trixie simpered when released again from the telekinetic gag. “It’s not a diamond dog thing, I promise. I’d feel like a failure if I didn’t make anyone howl, no matter what kind of creature they were.” Her expression and voice went cold very suddenly. “I made Rarity howl a kazillion times.”

Starlight didn’t respond. They stepped forward as another group ahead of them got admitted into the club.

Trixie frowned. “What? Are you gonna be awkward about that?”

“No!” Starlight gasped. “What! It’s fine! It’s fine. I already knew! I’ve known for two weeks.” She shook her head angrily. “I mean yeah, I think you could have been smarter than trying to do something like that with a friend. But it’s your life.”

“Uhhhh, I’m not the only one in that boat,” Trixie remarked. “Or did you already somehow forget again?”

“Gggghh and that’s the other thing!” Starlight grumbled, talking another step forward as the line moved again. “It is very very very weird that the two of us have. You know.” She lowered her voice and leaned forward. “The same pony.”

“Hmff,” Trixie snorted. “See, this is exactly the reason you needed this weekend to get more experience. We need to actually be able to talk about this stuff! If you don’t tell your friends who your exes are, they won’t know who’s off-limits.”

“She’s not my… gaah!” Starlight squeezed her eyes tight in a vain attempt to give herself a distracting headache.

She couldn’t explain why this was upsetting; she knew it wasn’t rational. Yeah, Trixie had mentioned making Rarity ‘howl,’ and yeah, Starlight pretty much knew exactly the noise Trixie was talking about. But that didn’t mean anything! There wasn’t some kind of transitive property here that meant Starlight had somehow accidentally done the worst thing she could possibly do.

“Beep beep,” the pony behind them grumbled. Starlight jolted, and she looked up to notice they were holding up the line. They quickly trotted forward; they were almost at the door, now. Almost time to start their last wild night out.

She wanted to go home. These new memories were really messing with her head.

“Whatever, Starlight,” Trixie said breezily. “You’re gorgeous. Rarity’s gorgeous. I’m indescribable with mere words but ‘gorgeous’ is close enough. Stuff like this happens, don’t worry about it.”

Starlight blinked. “You think I’m gorgeous?”

“Um, you think I’d let you on stage with me if you weren’t? Give me some credit.”

“Yeah, but.” Starlight trailed off, then at Trixie’s raised eyebrow, she tried to explain. “Sorry, it just feels weird to hear you say it.”

Would she ever call Trixie gorgeous? It wasn’t like she didn’t know Trixie was beautiful (she in fact was not allowed to ever forget it). But saying it would feel the same as sitting around just thinking it, and that was not a thing to be doing.

“I literally introduce you as ‘my gorgeous assistant’ sometimes.”

“I know! I mean…” Starlight frowned. All she knew was this gorgeous thing was weird and this Rarity thing was weird and really all she wanted was to lie back down with Trixie in her hotel bed and feel warm and fall asleep again, because that was the only thing she’d done all weekend that didn’t make her feel like she’d broken some huge, important rule. “You’re my best friend. That’s all.”

Trixie opened her mouth to respond, then stopped, mouth open. She closed her mouth, face blank. She didn’t say anything. Starlight felt like she should fill the pause, but no words came to mind. The expression on Trixie’s face was just odd.

They took another step closer; they were almost to the door.

These new memories were messing her up, and she probably should have just refused to even go out, tonight.

But as suddenly as a lightning bolt, Trixie’s face shifted to a grin. “Well. Just as long as you don’t forget your best friend duties tonight: keep track of how many blue cocktails I drink, and don’t let me try to teleport after four. Because I absolutely will.”

“Oh, believe me,” Starlight replied, affectionately despite herself, “I know.” She felt herself relax, just a little.

“Oh, hey, Starlight Glimmer!” a voice called out. Starlight looked up; they had arrived at the entrance to the club at last, and the stallion standing next to the door looked familiar.

“Oh!” she greeted, smiling. “You were at the tent the other day, right? Pinkie’s friend!”

“That’s me. Bottleneck.” The bouncer nodded to her. “Sorry about the wait; we’re slammed tonight.”

“Oh, it hasn’t been too bad.” She levitated over her ID for him to read, glancing to her side. “Oh, this is my friend Trixie.”

“Hey, great to meet you.”

“Sure, sure, sure.” Trixie held out her own ID impatiently. “Tell me something. How blue are the cocktails here?”

Bottleneck squinted, nonplussed. “How… blue?” Trixie did not clarify, so he shrugged. “I never seen bluer ones.”

Bottleneck heard something through his earpiece, and he nodded to them. “Hey, and we’re ready. Have fun.” Starlight barely had time to smile back in response and take his offered fetlockband before Trixie physically dragged her inside.

Hidden Femme

Here's how easy it ended up being.

The day was very mundane, which isn't to say it wasn't pleasant. Angel had done even more work at the sanctuary that he was supposed to, and so he'd been rewarded with an extra fresh carrot. Fluttershy had been rewarded with the chance to make her favorite new dish, chilled tomato soup, for when Rarity and Discord came over for dinner that night. Moon Dancer had been rewarded with the sight of Fluttershy happily puttering around the kitchen, singing to herself with that sweet, delighted little smile.

There was one moment that felt just a tiny bit special. When Moon Dancer arrived home from a quick trip to the market, and Fluttershy greeted her with a quick kiss, they both just looked into one another's eyes for a second too long. It was a tiny little thing, a brief pause between the smooch and resuming the daily routines. It felt warm and perfect, but a lot of things felt warm and perfect about living together. There was just a sense of quiet; a flash of there being nothing in the world at all but the happiness they had together, and then it was over. A very humble little instant in time.

Otherwise, it was just entirely mundane. Dinner was amiable and fun, and afterwards, they were planning to all have a cup of sweetened iced coffee (a treat Rarity had encountered on a recent trip to the Arabian peninsula, and which she was gleefully excited to introduce her friends to), but before they could sit down, a second Discord had barged in and frantically reminded the original that he needed to rush to visit the Kirins immediately to perform in a Noh play.

The two Discords had an elaborate "who's on first" style conversation back and forth hinging on misunderstandings of the word "Noh" which quickly escalated into an argument and then a swordfight. Chandeliers were summoned and then swung from. Roosters were thrown.

Eventually, one of the Discords vanquished the other, and there was a huge, emotional death scene: wailing and extended monologues about vengeance and sad harp music. The surviving Discord gave Fluttershy a quick hug, slung his defeated doppelganger over his shoulder, and teleported away.

So, completely mundane, yes. But still very, very nice.

Rarity was exuberant with creative, new ideas from her travels, and she was particularly inspired by what it would take to "highlight Moon Dancer's lovely eyes on a summer evening like this," listing off gown and dress ideas as fast as an auctioneer, growing animatedly determined to create her friend an ensemble, because Moon Dancer was just the ONLY one of her friends she'd never created anything for, and she is so lovely and so unique it would be a wonderful gift to them both to be able to work on something.

Fluttershy glanced at her special somepony very briefly; it was that familiar look of "Just checking if all this attention is more flattering or more embarrassing." Moon Dancer felt her face naturally shifting into a "flattering," and the two of them leaned against one another and contendedly listened to Rarity, carried away with her vision.

"...oh, of course I understand that dressing, ah, 'down' has its own homey charm," she was saying. "I've grown to appreciate 'Old Bertha,' but surely glamour has its own appeal! There must be something I could make for you!"

"Um, Old Bertha?" Fluttershy asked.

"Old Bertha," Moon Dancer replied, rolling her eyes, "is what Rarity calls my sweater."

"And a delightfully lived-in sweater she is!" Rarity said quickly. "She has a... um. A wonderful personality!"

Moon Dancer couldn't keep herself from laughing gently. "She thanks you. And look, I really do appreciate all these ideas, and I really do think you're a great designer! But..."

"Oh, think of Fluttershy, though!" Rarity argued. "Why, anypony who knows you can see how perfect you are together. Her calming kindness and gentle grace helping you to accept and manage your emotions! Your sincere curiosity and powerful intellect providing her constant challenge, novelty, and validation! But wouldn't you like even strangers to see it? Any dress I'd make would be specifically designed to look good on you... next to her."

"Oh." Moon Dancer blushed, both from the compliments and from Rarity's doggedness. "That does sound nice. But the thing is... I... kind of don't really like dresses?" She immediately felt terrible for saying this to Rarity of all ponies and winced. "I mean, I like your dresses! I just never think dresses look good on me."

Rarity frowned thoughtfully for two full seconds, and then her face brightened up with jubilant extroversion. "Oh, well, you don't need a dress to look sharp. What about a suit, then?" She gasped as if her own suggestion was the most wonderful surprise she'd received all week. "Yes! What about a suit?! Oh, Moon Dancer, please let me make you a suit; it's just the challenge I need to kick-start my creativity for the coming season. Urban-intellectual, post-classic, soft butch chic! Oh please do let me make it!"

Moon Dancer rubbed the back of her head, blushing. "Um. Well. I do like to wear suits sometimes. I... never really get a chance to, though."

"We'll find a reason!" Fluttershy barked loudly, before immediately blushing and covering her face with her hooves. At her special somepony's surprised look, she shook her head quickly. "You don't have to if you don't want to! But. Just if you did want to. I wouldn't mind. At all."

Moon Dancer smiled gently and leaned against Fluttershy, feeling warm. "Oh, all right," she said to Rarity. "If you think I can be, uh, soft butch chic, then who am I to say no?"

"Eee, how exciting!" Rarity enthused. "I don't think I've even seen you in a suit since... goodness, was it the party where the two of you met?"

Moon Dancer thought, then nodded. "Yeah, right before I moved here."

"Why, that was a year and a half ago!" Rarity exclaimed. "My goodness, even Old Bertha must think you should dress up more often!"

"Eh, I dunno," Moon Dancer replied, shrugging. "I only have that one suit. I just wore it at the party because I got it for my sister's wedding, and it felt silly to spend all those bits and then never touch it again."

"Hm," Fluttershy said, "Honeysuckle didn't have a problem with you not wearing a dress, right?"

"No, she was really supportive! She surprised everyone by wanting a really traditional Tarpanish wedding, so I was a little worried, but she was great about it."

"Oh!" Rarity exclaimed. "I didn't know your family was Tarpanish."

Moon Dancer nodded. "Mm hmm! I mean... we're not particularly great Tarpans. We pretty much just celebrate Rosh Horseshanah once a year and avoid truffles." She paused. "Well, I eat truffles sometimes, but I know I shouldn't."

"We lit the marenorah this year," Fluttershy pointed out. "Angel realy liked it."

"Yeah... that was pretty nice," Moon Dancer replied, nodding. "It helped me feel like I really lived here."

"I'm sure!" Rarity replied, eyes dancing with thoughts of romance. "Had you ever thought about whether you'd want a Tarpanish wedding?"

"Oh, I don't know. I guess there are some things that might be nice about it." Moon Dancer smiled gently. "It'd be cool to have a hoofah... recite the eleven blessings." She shrugged and nodded over to her special somepony. "But, I'm not the only one deciding. It's half up to Fluttershy, isn't it?"

"Oh, I think it'd be wonderful to include something," Fluttershy said. "I like the idea of having parts of the ceremony important to both our families. We should do it."

There was a very long pause.

Moon Dancer wasn't sure why they were pausing for the first part of it. The realization snuck up on her like a boogeyman. Her mouth fell open.

"Did..." Rarity sputtered wordlessly for a few moments, then finally collected herself enough to speak. "Did you just get engaged?"

"I... think we did?" Fluttershy answered, staring at Moon Dancer in shock.

"N...no!" Moon Dancer barked. "Engagement is... it's when you plan and..." She waved her hooves around, trying desperately to explain. "I mean, yes, we're gonna get married, right? We already pretty much knew it!"

"Right!" Fluttershy squeaked, burying her face behind her front legs. "I want to and I know you want to!"

"Yes! We agree about that! But... but engagement isn't just when two ponies agree they're going to get married!"

With a puff of smoke, Discord suddenly appeared, shocking Moon Dancer so badly, she fell over. "I forgot my bowtie," he explained, oddly calm given the circumstances. "And that is exactly what an engagement is."

"No! Engagement is when you agree to get married, not when you agree that you'll get married! It's an entirely different conjunction!"

"Discord," Fluttershy murmured in a daze, "I'm going to get married."

Discord clipped his bowtie on and frowned. "My dear Fluttershy, are you all right?"

"What does 'Fluttershy' mean?" Fluttershy asked, staring smilingly at nothing.

Discord took a step back, biting his lip anxiously. "Oh no, I think Fluttershy might have broken." He looked up at the other two ponies. "What should I do? My best friend is broken, but the delegate from the kappas won't sign the treaty unless this Noh performance goes perfectly!"

"Why even is this Noh thing your problem?!" Moon Dancer snapped.

"I may have, ah, misjudged how much sense of humor the kappa king has about his magic nightingale," Discord answered, not sounding very guilty. "And then I made some promises... well, let's just say there's a giant cucumber involved."

"I want precisely zero more details about this situation."

"Well fine, but..." Discord paused and looked down. Fluttershy had a gentle hoof pressed against his side.

"It's all right," she said. "I'm very, very surprised, but I'm also very, very happy. I'm so glad you came back so I could share this with you, but it's really okay if you have to go."

"Yes, and we're not even engaged!" Moon Dancer yelped. At Fluttershy's slightly alarmed look, she groaned and waved her hooves frantically. "No, I mean... we're going to get married! But the engagement is important! Like... Lyra and Bon Bon! They had their weird psychic connection mutual engagement thing."

Fluttershy frowned slightly. "We're not competing with Lyra and Bon Bon."

"No, I know! I just..." Moon Dancer sighed and stepped closer to her fiancee, giving her a tiny smooch on the forehead. "Look," she said, notably calmer, "we're going to get married. I've never been more certain of anything. But... you know I get weird about stuff sometimes, and I just want to do it right. I want to ask, and you say yes, and it's romantic. I don't want it to be just something that happens because it's tossed out in some random conversation."

Fluttershy looked back at her for a moment, then smiled. "I don't need anything big, but I do like it when you're romantic. It's okay if I tell my friends, though, right?"

"Of course!"

Fluttershy, grinning like a seraph, looked over at Discord and Rarity. "We're getting married," she announced.

Discord started to speak and then paused. "This warm feeling..." he murmured. "This... this is the feeling I've been waiting for!" He burst into the sky like a firework and swooped back down, embracing Fluttershy tightly. "Oh, thank you! This feeling of joy and friendship has finally reignited the spark of acting inspiration I've been waiting for! You've saved the kappa kingdom!" He twirled and vanished.

"Discord's life is really stupid," Moon Dancer remarked.

"Oh, hush," Fluttershy admonished without a hint of actual anger. She giggled, and they snuggled up. After a few seconds of canoodling, Moon Dancer felt Fluttershy's head turn to look to the side. "Rarity?"

Moon Dancer realized that their friend had not said a word since the whole thing had happened. In fact, Rarity looked utterly stunned, staring at them with a frozen gape. "Uhmmm... are you okay?" Moon Dancer asked.

Rarity did not respond for several seconds, but very suddenly, like a switch being flicked, her face lit up into an enormous smile. She ran at the fiancees, glomming onto them both in a huge hug. "Oh, I am just so happy for you!" she squealed. "I can't believe you're engaged, I can't believe you're engaged!!"

"We're not engAAGH!" Moon Dancer started to say before Rarity's hug clamped down even tighter.

Fluttershy closed her eyes, smiling softly (Rarity apparently instinctually knew to be gentle with her, even in ecstatic joy-pounces). "We're getting married, but we're not engaged yet."

"Well!" Rarity suddenly pulled back, still smiling. She poked a facetiously stern hoof at Moon Dancer, who was too busy catching her breath to get much out of it. "I certanly approve of romantic gestures, but I know sommmeeeee ponnniiieessss occassionally have the slight tendency to make big plans about something, and then to get so anxious and carried away by planning, they never end up doing the thing they planned."

"Uhm." Moon Dancer blushed. "Well..."

"I'm talking about Moon Dancer," Rarity clarified. "And Twilight. And, well, me, honestly. But Moon Dancer is the important one here!"

"Okay okay, message received," Moon Dancer said, sighing. "I promise I'll do it soon. It'll be..."

"Oh, there is so much to do!" Rarity sang. She skipped happily to the door. "I'll leave you two alone to celebrate, but don't worry: my mind is absolutely frantic with ideas for everything! Aaaaaaaaaa...." Still squealing, she pulled the front door open.

"Wait, you don't have to..." Fluttershy began, but Rarity had already trotted off into the night.

Trixie always felt ambivalent about waking up. On the one hoof, it was just unacceptably rude that her repose had to be interrupted by anything. On the other hoof, whenever she woke up, she got to remember that she was Trixie, and that was always one of the highlights of the whole day.

But that morning, waking was an unusually jarring experience. The bed felt unfamiliar, the clinking noises and tuneless humming were certainly unfamiliar; she opened her eyes and the entire room was new and weird. Everything was comfortable and pleasant, but it was all so different that she was just confused.

"I'm Trixie," she thought, and immediately things were centered again. She cast a tired gaze around and remembered: of course it's where she woke up, because it's where she went to sleep. That was not all she had done there, either.

The door opened and Rarity trotted in. "Good morrrrnning!" she greeted with almost terrifyingly cheerful perkiness. "I hope you're hungry! There's breakfast!"

Trixie did not fail to notice the tinge of mania in Rarity's eyes or tone. "Riiiiight," she replied cagily.

"Come on, sleepyhead!" Rarity yanked the comforter off the bed, nearly flipping Trixie onto the floor.

"Mnf!" Trixie glared, upset her comfy little lair had been destroyed. "Careful!"

"Oh dear, I'm sorry!" Rarity said with cheerful sunniness. "I'm just so excited for you to eat! Ricotta on toast with melons and berries!"

"Well. You've at least catered to my urbane tastes." Trixie hopped out of bed, trying her best to maintain normalcy. "Excuse me a moment to freshen up."

"Of course!" Rarity answered, grinning. Trixie slipped into the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

She feared she might look less-than-amazing, but a glance in the mirror told her things weren't too bad. She'd had a chance to take a quick shower before sleeping, and except for a little bit of frizziness in her mane, things were up to par. She looked even more rested than usual. "Maybe sleeping in an actual bed is a good idea," she mumbled, splashing a little water onto her face and drying it, before turning the hoof towel into a teacup and teleporting it off to the teacup dump.

She didn't exactly regret the previous night's events; Rarity had lived up to her Avatar Of Generosity reputation, which meant they were nicely compatible there. She'd always found Rarity attractive, and she grudgingly even found her agreeable to spend time with when they tried to move past their shared history. But she just had an odd feeling in her gut about everything, and she couldn't quite explain it. It was with very slight hesitation she opened the bathroom door and walked out.

Rarity had not moved, her wide, toothy smile still frozen on her face. Trixie blinked.

"Breakfast!" Rarity exclaimed.

"Uh huh." Trixie glanced around, wondering, not for the first time, if Rarity was a serial killer. (She thought it was about a 40/60 chance that at least one of Twilight's friends was, but she'd always most strongly suspected the apple.)

"If anything, YOU'RE acting weird!" Rarity declared.

"Ummmm." Trixie began inching toward the window.

"Breakfast," Rarity repeated.

"Yeah. Uh, I think I'm just gonna go. Okay? I..."

"Don't you dare!!" Rarity immediately darted forward, glaring into Trixie's face and poking her in the chest with an angry hoof. "Listen to me. I am NOT the kind of mare who does what we did last night and then refrains from making the other pony breakfast. So go! Eat! My delicious! Toast!!"

Her frown instantly switched into the same smile from before. She turned and trotted off into the kitchen.

Trixie considered making a break for it, but again, that weird feeling loomed up even stronger than her surprise or alarm. She followed Rarity, not quite even knowing why.

The breakfast did look amazing, and as they sat down, Trixie could not help but be impressed by the spread. When she was seated, Rarity happily levitated the coffee urn up to pour into a delicate little mug, then followed it with almost as much cream. "I think I remember you like your coffee this way. No sugar, right?"

"Uh, right," Trixie replied as Rarity softly set the coffee mug down next to her plate. "Thank you!" she added, successfully battling the desire to brag that of course such a special pony as herself would be deserving of everyone remembering her tastes.

Rarity smiled genuinely in response and nodded to the food. "Please, have whatever you want!"

Trixie nervously brought some toast up to her mouth and took a bite. "Mmm!" she enthused, half-recognizing that it was quite delectable, and Rarity cheerfully began eating as well.

It was two bites in that Trixie's stomach really began to feel weird. She just kept looking up at Rarity taking her tiny, feminine nibbles and daintily wiping her mouth with a pearl-white cloth, and things weren't sitting right. She tried to ignore it, to focus on what was turning out to be quality pampering, but it was too distracting.

With a sudden jolt, she realized what the problem was. "Oh no," she said.

Rarity turned to her in surprise. "What is it, darling?"

"I care." Trixie set her toast down and sighed.

"...What?"

"You!" Trixie grunted. "You're obviously not doing okay, and I care about it. Nnnnggg, this is so annoying!"

"What are you talking about?" Rarity laughed very fakely. "I'm doing perfe..."

"No no no, quiet quiet quiet," Trixie snapped, pressing her hoof up against Rarity's mouth to close it. "Just tell me. Apparently we're in each other's lives, and so this?" She waved her hooves around vaguely, indicating the whole room. "All this? It's bothering me."

"Trixie... stoppit!" Rarity pushed Trixie's leg away. "...Trixie, really, I'm perfectly well!"

Trixie heaved an enormous sigh and rolled her eyes. "I should have known it last night. You picked me up... and of course you did, I'm the most gorgeous pony in town after all... but that's not the kind of thing you normally do. And you did say that thing about wanting a 'distraction.' And... look, could you seriously stop smiling at me like that because it is really starting to creep me out."

Rarity did stop smiling. She pulled back for a moment, then sighed. "Even you could tell something was wrong?"

"I'm a professional counselor, Rarity."

But Rarity just sighed and swooned and flung herself backwards onto the ground. "I can't believe I couldn't even keep Trixie from being able to tell!" she wailed.

"...Actually kind of insulted now."

"Everypony knows my life is a mess just from looking at me!" Rarity wriggled on her back, waving her hooves in the air pitifully. "Fluttershy is getting married and I've never even had a special somepony and I'm going to be alone forevvveeerrrrrr!"

Trixie froze for a moment, half suppressing her irritation and half deciding what to say. She did not get a chance to speak, however, because the door to the outside suddenly slammed open and an adorable filly bounced in, chanting, "Special Sister Saturday! Special Sister Saturday!"

Sweetie Belle came to a stop before them, Rarity still on her back, Trixie sitting at her place. She looked at them, tilting her head to the side quizzically. They looked back.

"Um. Rarity? Why are you on the floor? And why are you with Trixie?"

Rarity jumped to her hooves frantically. "Sweetie! You! What? Why! How do? What?"

Sweetie Belle tilted her head more. "That's a lot of questions." She pointed at Trixie. "Really, why are you with Trixie the first thing in the morning? You're..." She trailed off thoughtfully.

"How... you've met Trixie?" Rarity bleated, bugging her eyes out.

"I see her at the friendship school when I tutor! Did she... did she spend the night?"

"Ack!" Rarity gaped at her little sister. "Sweetie Belle, what do you even know about ponies spending the night places?!"

"Um. I know, like." She blushed cutely. "I know there's kissing and stuff." She suddenly gasped, her face blossoming into excitement. "Wait! Are you dating Trixie?! That's so cool!"

"No!" Rarity yipped immediately. "No no no. No! Absolutely not, no." She looked at Trixie, then back to Sweetie. "No."

"Then why are you acting so weird?" Sweetie began to frown, and even the slightest bit of sadness on her face was heartbreaking to see.

"I... I'm just surprised! Ha ha yes just surprised, ha ha. I didn't know you'd be coming!"

"You... forgot about Special Sister Saturday?" Sweetie sniffled, tears coming to her eyes. "We were going to go to the mane salon together. Did you not even make our appointments?"

"Sweetie! I..." Rarity calmed slightly, taking a deep breath and walking closer to her sister. "No, of course I didn't forget, and I did make the appointments. I just got my days mixed up. I'm still planning to go with you."

"Well... okay." Sweetie suddenly looked up firmly. "But why aren't you telling me what's going on with Trixie? You promised you wouldn't treat me like a foal anymore!"

"It's... it's not about that! This... I..." Rarity looked absolutely helpless as she sputtered, and Trixie was surprised that she wasn't surprised she came to her aid.

"Hey, Sweetie," she said, beckoning. "C'mere. I'll fill you in." Sweetie, with a glance to her sister, hesitantly walked over to the table. "Have a seat; pour yourself some coffee, if you want."

Sweetie smiled brightly at the offer, sitting across from Trixie. "Thanks, but I don't like coffee."

"Suit yourself." Trixie took a sip out of her own mug, feeling herself enter her workplace groove. "Hey. So listen, you have to forgive Rarity, okay? She and I did spend last night kissing and stuff, but it can be realllllly awwwwwwkward to talk about that kind of thing with your own family. You get it, right? She's not trying to keep anything secret."

"Yeah, but..." Sweetie glanced over at Rarity, who still looked gobsmacked. "But if I kissed somecreature, I'd want to tell her!"

"Maybe, but you'd still feel totally weird if she walked in right after you had the kiss, right? Even if it was with somecreature as gloriously attractive as myself."

Sweetie giggled, completely charmed. "I guess so. But... you said you were kissing, and Rarity said you weren't dating. That doesn't make any sense."

In alarm, Rarity started to babble something, but Trixie held up a hoof. Rarity, surprisingly, fell quiet.

"Here's the thing about that," Trixie replied carefully. "Usually, ponies are dating when they spend the night, and when they kiss and stuff. But sometimes, two friends might decide to do things like that, without it meaning anything more."

Sweetie blinked, looking more confused than anything else. "Really? Friends?"

Trixie realized she'd just called Rarity her friend without even thinking about it, but she didn't let the subsequent mixed emotions distract her. "Yes! It can be really fun. But it's also easy to get your feelings hurt. It's gotta be just the right kind of friend, and you have to make sure you're totally on the same page first! So it doesn't happen much, and you have to be careful. And some creatures really want to only kiss their special somecreatures, and that's fine, too. Get it?"

"Mm-hmm!" Sweetie answered, nodding happily. She idly picked up some toast and munched it.

Trixie grinned. "Now, I have to go. You have have a sister day to enjoy!" At Sweetie's nod, Trixie's grin became sneakier. "You're going to the salon later? I have an idea for you." She leaned over the table, whispering in Sweetie's ear.

Sweetie smiled brightly. "Ooh! That's a great idea!"

Trixie winked. "See you at school! I have to go say goodbye to your sister." She started walking off to the exit. "C'mon," she grunted to Rarity as she passed.

They walked out the doorstep, Rarity shutting the door behind her. She turned to Trixie, her mouth hanging open. "That was so impressive!" she sputtered. "How did you do that?"

"Um, it's almost like I'm a professional counselor, or something."

"Right." Rarity blinked at her, uncomprehendingly. "Yes."

Trixie sighed, rolling her eyes magnificently. "It's okay to be jealous of your friend for getting engaged as long as you're not a jerk about it. Your life is not a mess, and to remind yourself of that, spend some quality time with your little sister, who's great and who adores you. Last night was fun, I guess. Here." She levitated up a deck of cards, spread wide. "Pick one."

Rarity wordlessly complied. "It's the six of hearts," Trixie said. "Ta da." She snatched Rarity's card and swooshed the deck away. "Bye."

She turned, but Rarity's voice stopped her. "W...wait!" Trixie turned back, raising an eyebrow, and was frozen when she felt lips smacking lightly against her own. "Um. Thank you. Goodbye, darling." There was a pause, and Rarity began to blush. "Was that odd?"

"Yes. But it's fine. I'd want to kiss me, too." She smirked and received a wavering smile in response.

Rarity turned and opened her front door, but she jumped back when Sweetie Belle instantly stuck her head out, waving frantically. "Bye, Trixie! Thanks for the suggestion!! I think I will have them dye my mane green!"

As Rarity's jaw fell, Trixie chortled and walked away.

"Technically," Mudbriar corrected, "agreeing to get married is exactly what an engagement is."

"Oh, don't you start in on me," Moon Dancer grunted, rolling her eyes but unable to keep a grin completely off her face. "I just have to think of how to do it. And when. And where."

"I'll help!" Trixie offered. "I do know a little something about spectacle and splendor, after all!"

"Uh, I dunno about that," Starlight remarked, checking the water level inside the magic cauldron. "It doesn't need to be a big deal, right? Maybe just something quiet and intimate?"

The fifth pony present raised his hoof to get attention, but said nothing. Everyone stared at him.

"Uh, Snails?" Moon Dancer asked. Snails did not reply.

Moon Dancer glanced around nervously. "Uh, is he..."

Snails very suddenly sneezed, making a sound like a trumpet falling off a cliff. "Woo!" he mused, then turned to Moon Dancer. "Uh, what were you saying? I was thinking about how I was going to sneeze, and then I was thinking about sneezing, and then I was thinking about how I had just sneezed."

"Uh, how's that magic cauldron going?" Trixie asked, clearly trying to keep things from getting too derailed.

"It'll just be a minute!" Starlight answered. "The spell has to warm up, but we're almost set."

Moon Dancer looked around hesitantly. "So, when it's ready, we'll be able to just... talk to this student in the cauldron? We'll see her and she'll see us?" At Starlight's cheerful nod, she frowned. "And... she's not, really upset, is she? I'm not trained for this. What if I say the wrong thing and I mess up her psychological development?"

"Ug, it's fine," Trixie moaned, rolling her eyes. "She's just a little confused, and she said she's happy for you to be around. Nice try at changing the subject away from hiring me to do a magic show where you propose to Fluttershy, but it didn't work!"

"Uh. I... appreciate the offer, but I think it can't be something with so much preparation." She grinned anxiously, then fretted. "I've promised myself I've got to do it before our trip to Manehattan next week."

"Oh, that's right, Manehattan Pride is next week!" Starlight beamed. "It kinda snuck up on us, huh? It's so exciting! It's my first chance to go since I've been, um. Out." Her voice dropped to a near whisper when she said the last word, but she was still proud of herself for saying it.

"Maud and I would attend if I didn't hate traveling," Mudbriar stated. "However, I do hate traveling, so the decision not to attend is rational. It's nice when things work out."

"You're all missing out!" Trixie laughed. She tromped over to Starlight and threw a hoof around her best friend's shoulders. "Well, while the rest of you sit around being old and engaged and boring, the two of US are going to spend the weekend out, meeting ponies!" She grinned lacivously. "Meeting ponies. You know what I'm saying." Mudbriar and Snails both stared back at her, giving no indication at all that they knew what she was saying.

"Aahaha," Starlight mumbled, feeling the sweat already start. "Well. In theory yes! We will go and I will, um." Trixie raised an eyebrow at her. "Fffffffflirt? Uh. Hook upppppp?"

"Right," Trixie agreed, "except when we actually do it don't phrase it like an alien trying to blend in with Equestrian society."

Starlight suddenly gasped, her trepidation forgotten. "Moon Dancer!" she exclaimed. "I just had a great idea! You should ask Fluttershy to marry you at pride!"

"Gck!" Moon Dancer started backwards. "What?"

"It's perfect! Right? It can still be quiet and intimate, but the element of kindness gets engaged at pride?! It'd be such a wonderful story!"

"I..." Moon Dancer squinted in thought. "Yes, you're right, but... I just don't want it to be too complicated. It can't go wrong."

"We'll help!" Starlight nudged Trixie, who looked less than enthusiastic. "You'll have friends helping you! And Rarity's going, so she can help Fluttershy if she needs it!"

"....I'll think about it," Moon Dancer answered. "Please don't get ahead of yourself! ....I'll think about it."

Starlight grinned, entirely pleased with herself from having helped somepony, but a quiet tone rang out before she could say anything else. "Oh, I think we're almost ready!" She said, turning to the cauldron, happy to be reminded of yet another creature she could help. "Everypony just gather around here and I'll trigger the spell. We should be able to see her in the water, she she'll see us in her own cauldron."

"Um, Starlight?" Trixie said, nudging her best friend softly. "You are going to let me take the lead on this, right? You know... since it was my idea, and this is my job, and everything?"

"Of course!" Starlight promised. "I'm just here to work the spell. I won't even say anything, if you don't want me to!"

"Well." Trixie nodded huffily. "Fine then. I'll..."

"Just because you do things differently than I used to, that doesn't mean I want to butt in! I'm not the guidance counselor anymore. I know that."

Trixie stared at her with half-lidded eyes.

"You help the students, and that's the important thing. But. I mean, it's just different, is all. Not worse! Just different."

Trixie sighed. "Is it out of your system?"

"Almost! I am totally going to be going crazy wanting to jump in but I won't because it's not my job anymore and because I trust you and because I can't control everything!" Starlight took a deep breath. "Okay, that did it, I'm fine now."

Trixie nodded smartly and walked up to the cauldron, apparently completely satisfied. The others followed a few steps behind.

"Y'know, I always wondered how the two of you can be so close, but then also work together," Moon Dancer remarked, taking her place in the circle around the cauldron.

"The key," Trixie said sagely, "is when it's important, you learn to get good at listening. And when it's not important, you learn to get good at pretending to listen."

Starlight opened her mouth as if to argue, then just shrugged. "Everypony ready?"

"Wait," Moon Dancer giggled. "Mudbriar's making a funny face at me." She nudged him away with her hoof. "Stop it! This is serious! We have to help a student."

Mudbriar stared at her, making no facial expression whatsoever.

"Stop!" Moon Dancer coughingly gethered herself and took a deep breath. "Okay! It's fine. I..." She let one more chortle slip, then stood up straight. "I'm good! Mudbriar just knows he can make me laugh. Ahem. I'm ready."

Mudbriar stared at her, making no facial expression whatsoever.

"Uh." Starlight looked back and forth between them, then just gave up trying to think of a response. "Well, okay, I'm casting the spell now."

Her horn lit up, and the cauldron began to glow. After a few moments, the surface of the water shifted to the colorful face of a young changeling.

"Hi, Ocellus!" Starlight said. "Do you see us?"

Ocellus grinned and moved her lips.

"Wait... wait, we can't hear you," Starlight said. "Is... hold on, is the sound coming through for you?"

Ocellus nodded, moving her lips, She looked off to the side and said something, and the image of her in the water jostled slightly.

"Can you... hold on. Did you make sure the water was lukewarm? Um... wait, maybe the problem's on our end. Trixie, could you..."

"--UST TRY AGAIN?" Ocellus's voice suddenly boomed out of the cauldron, causing all of the ponies to yelp in surprise.

"Agh!" Starlight frantically adjusted the magic flowing into the cauldron. "You were..." She blinked at the water, which now just showed a blank hive ceiling. "Uh... Ocellus?"

A grizzly bear's head hesitantly poked back into the image. "...you yelled and it startled me."

"You were just really loud for a second, but it's fixed now. We're coming in clear?"

Ocellus quickly turned back into a changeling and nodded, rubbing her front hooves together nervously. "Sorry I asked to talk over summer break. I didn't know the magic would be hard to use."

"No no, it's fine!" Starlight assured her. "Even if you weren't one of our very best students, we've got to get used to using magic cauldrons, anyway; it's going to make parent-teacher conferences much easier. Now, what's..." She trailed off, noticing Trixie's glare. "Um. I mean, so I'm going to let Trixie step in, because she's the guidance counselor and this is her job."

Trixie nodded firmly but was able to instantly switch to a warm smile. "Hey!" she greeted. "I heard you wanted to talk about some identity stuff?"

"Y...yeah." Ocellus paused but only for a second. "It's just... I was thinking about a lot of stuff, and. Well, everyone here is really nice and open, but I think I picked up some really non-changeling ways of looking at things?"

"Which is fine!" Thorax's voice suddenly called from somewhere to Ocellus's left. "We just don't know how..." He trailed off. "Right, I promised I wouldn't jump in. Sorry."

Ocellus's glare turned into a forgiving smile, then she looked back down at the water. "Yeah. It's just... everycreature at school has been talking a lot about dating, and apparently there's all sorts of, like... THINGS you can be about that? Like, Smolder visited last week, and she told me she was 'pansexual,' and that she was a she. And that made total sense to her, but I had no idea what she was talking about! She also said she was a dragon, but I think I get that part." She blinked. "Although maybe not?"

"I understand," Trixie said warmly. "It makes a lot of sense you'd be confused about this. You see, ponies can't change their bodies with magic like you can, right? So we think of ourselves as being a certain way. Like how Sandbar is an earth pony, but I'm a unicorn."

Ocellus nodded slowly. "Okayyyyy. But what's that have to do with dating?"

"Well, there's all sorts of ways we can be there, too! Some ponies only want to date certain other kinds of ponies."

"Oh. So, like, there's some unicorns that only want to date other unicorns?"

"Ah, no!" Trixie replied with some alarm. "No! That... uh. That is not what I mean, and it is not part of a good friendship lesson to think like that. Uh, what I'm saying is... uh. Well, I brought some friends along to be examples, that might help!" She jumped next to Moon Dancer, pulling her close. "See, this is Moon Dancer! She teaches an advanced-level seminar at the school on Fridays, so you might have seen her around campus. And she is a cis, gay mare!"

"Um." Moon Dancer tried to fix her jostled glasses and grinned nervously into the cauldron. "Yes! That's me! Hi!"

"Hiiii?" Ocellus scratched her head in confusion.

"'Mare' means she's a she!" Trixie explained. "And 'cis' means she started out with a female body, which matches being called 'she.' And 'gay' means she's attracted to other shes. Like, she's attracted to me, but she wouldn't be attracted to Sandbar!"

"Well okay Sandbar is like sixteen, so please don't use him as an example!" Moon Dancer blurted. "And it is very awkward that you used yourself as an example! But yes! Pretty much that's right! Get it?" She grinned hugely, sweating bullets. The look on Ocellus's face showed that she did not, in fact, get it.

"Um, and this is Snails!" Trixie said quickly, gesturing to her left. "You've met him; he's the assistant hoofball coach. And he is a trans, straight stallion!" Snails waved at the water languidly. "'Stallion' means he's a he, and 'trans' means he had a body doctors called 'female,' which doesn't match him being a he. And 'straight' means he's attracted to shes!"

Ocellus blinked uncomprehendingly. "Um. I get that you can't just change like we can, but what does it mean to 'be' a he? Like... in your mind but not in your body?"

Snails stared, with glazed eyes, into the water.

"Uh, Snails, buddy?" Trixie whispered.

"Huh?"

"Any thoughts you could give would be helpful, I think."

"Oh! Uhhhhh." Snails blinked twice, slowly, then nodded with sage wisdom. "Don't try too hard to hold in a sneeze, or your head will explode."

Ocellus tilted her head, baffled. "What?"

"I just said a thought I had," Snails explained. "Is it true?"

"No," Moon Dancer answered.

"Oh well. That's a relief! I was scared for a minute." Snails resumed his blank gazing.

"I..." Ocellus began, but Trixie desperately darted over to the final member of their circle.

"And this is Mudbriar! He's a cis stallion, and he's, uh..." She paused. "He's a grey ace sapiosexual demiromantic?"

"Technically," Mudbriar explained, "I'm a grey ace demisexual sapioromantic."

"Yes! He's that. It means... something."

Ocellus looked off to the side where Thorax's voice had come from. Apparently receiving no help, she looked back. "I... think I'm even more confused than before," she said.

"Just... okay, don't get lost in the details," Trixie replied. "The point is, we ponies... and lots of other creatures... ARE things on the inside. The same way Yona is a yak but Gallus is a griffin. And there's a whole bunch of different things creatures can be. It's how we think of ourselves, and it's how we feel best about ourselves."

"Okay, so... um." Ocellus scrunched up her forehead in concentration. "Moon Dancer there is gay, and that's just how she is on the inside, like how being a unicorn is how she is on the outside? She feels best thinking of herself as gay and being a she, because other ways of thinking about it don't make sense to her?"

"That's right!" Trixie answered cheerfully.

"I'm going to marry Fluttershy but we're not engaged!" Moon Dancer yipped.

Luckily, Ocellus kept going with her thought without being distracted by that. "Okay, but... am I something on the inside, too? How would I know?"

"Just through experience, and from meeting a lot of different creatures," Trixie answered. "It's okay to find it confusing for a while!"

"That's scary, though," Ocellus muttered. "What if I'm something weird? What if I'm something I don't want to be?"

"Sometimes it is scary," Trixie confirmed. "But unless you're hurting other creatures, there's no way to be bad. In fact, Moon Dancer, Starlight and I are planning to go to a big celebration next week that's just meant to remind us of that!"

"Whoa, really?"

"Yes! It's called Manehattan Pride, and it's all about feeling good about all the different things I'm talking about. Sometimes, everycreature needs to be reminded of it."

Very abruptly, Starlight got an idea. It was a really great idea, and she very much wanted to blurt it out. She tried to remind herself that this was Trixie's show.

"Wow. That sounds amazing."

Yes, Starlight agreed that her idea did sound amazing. But she couldn't say it. She had willpower; she could control herself. She would not state out loud her perfect, awesome idea.

"Yeah! So..."

"You should come with us!!" Starlight bellowed, sticking her head into the circle and grinning at Ocellus. "You should come to pride!!"

Trixie stared at her. Starlight almost felt bad.

"...Go with you?"

"Yeah! You'll be able to see all the diversity firsthoof! And... wagh!" She felt herself being dragged backwards and looked back to see the characteristic glow of Trixie's magic yanking on her tail.

"Um please give us a moment, would you, Ocellus?" Trixie asked sweetly before galloping away, Starlight yanking her tail out of the telekinesis and following in annoyance.

"What's wrong?" Starlight asked quietly when they were a few meters away.

"Starlight!" Trixie waved her hooves around frantically. "Next week is our vacation. We can't bring Ocellus!"

"Sure we can," Starlight argued. "We'll just get her a chaperone! Someone responsible, like Applejack!"

"No, Starlight..."

"Trust me! You're the counselor now, but I've worked with Ocellus for longer. She's really mature!"

"That is not the point!" Trixie hissed. "The point is that you and I plan to... to do things that are very much not appropriate for students to be around! I don't want her to see some super-hot nonbinary griffon leaving my hotel room Saturday morning and tell her hive about it!"

"She wouldn't even be around us," Starlight assured her. "We'd just meet with her for a couple of parades, and the rest of the time, she's Applejack's problem."

"Starl..." Trixie put a hoof against her forehead. "No. Just no! It's too much! We can't take Ocellus to pride!"

"Excuse me," Mudbriar said, appearing like magic directly behind them, "Thorax wants to talk to you about how happy he is you're taking Ocellus to pride."

Trixie stared at him in shock. "Whu... bah..."

"Those are not words," Mudbriar pointed out helpfully.

"Trust me, Trixie," Starlight said. "She won't have a hotel room near us, we won't see her except a couple times during daytime, and she'll have a full-time chaperone. It'll be great! I promise." She trotted over to the cauldron, leaving her best friend in shock behind her.

"...so that's when I realized," Snails was saying, "the reason my ear hurt is because both of the chopsticks were still stuck right in there!"

Thorax and Ocellus, who both stared nonplussed out of the cauldron's water, looked very relieved to see Starlight return. "Yes, very interesting," Thorax said. "But I just wanted to thank Starlight for offering to take Ocellus with her next week. We changelings are still learning about love as a feeling and not just as a food; Ocellus's new experiences will help all of us!"

"I get to lead a discussion seminar about it when I get back!" Ocellus exclaimed, nearly trembling with happy excitement.

Trixie returned, glaring, but she saw the changelings' enthusiasm and just sighed. "We still need to find a chaperone," she declared. "You can only go if we make sure it's totally safe."

"I understand!" Ocellus replied, still beaming.

"Starlight will be arranging everything," Trixie added. "Because... she's headmare. And she's your guidance counselor, I guess."

"Okay! Thank you, Starlight!"

Trixie walked away without saying anything else. She was out of the room before Starlight realized she hadn't even said goodbye.

"Uh..." She blinked and looked back at Ocellus. "Right. Yes! I'll be in touch about arranging things, all right?"

"Okay! Goodbye! Have a good afternoon!" Ocellus waved, then glanced off to the side. "So, how do we..." The water went dark.

"I don't think I wrecked her development," Moon Dancer said. "Right?" She looked around hopefully. "I was good? I didn't say anything that'll leave scars or something?"

But Starlight barely listened. She just frowned at the door Trixie had gone through.

Snails sneezed again.