War Games

by IAreBrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Random, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 2092

A quick one-shot fic about ponies getting a little too attached to a video game.

Rainbow Dash and her awesome team have been uncontested as the best online. . . Until now. They are pitted against a new team, one with an enemy who has risen from rags to riches on natural talent alone. Will their formidable team conquer once more, or will they fall to this newcomer just as many others?

Just a quick comedy I thought of the other day, figured it was worth trying to write out. Props to you if you could guess who the pony was before the very end.

Marked teen for mild violence and language.

Published 2012-08-24 23:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-24 23:14:02 UTC

The One and Only

“Okay, what button do I hit?” Twilight Sparkle asked for the hundredth time that evening.

“The green one, Twi. Seriously, I thought you were good with remembering stuff,” Rainbow Dash groaned through her microphone. Absentmindedly, the pegasus picked a chip up with a hoof and stuffed it into her mouth. One the other end, Twilight grimaced at the awful crunching sound. Dash leaned back in her chair and stared blankly at the television, which was currently occupied by a load screen. She heard random mumblings on the other end of the mic and then a started yelp before the sound of a controlled clattering to the floor.

Dash groaned with impatience and leaned her head back to stare at the ceiling, rolling her eyes at the same time. “It’s not rocket science, Twilight! Sheesh, I thought you were just uncoordinated with sports, but this is just depressing,” the athletic mare prodded. Twilight mumbled something away from her mic before Dash saw the load screen change out of the edge of her field of vision. Excitedly, Rainbow Leaned forward and grabbed the controller with her wings. “Alright! Let’s do this,” she shouted, causing her friend to cringe.

“Just take it easy, okay? I’m new to this, remember?” Twilight said cautiously.

Even though she knew the unicorn couldn’t see it, Dash waved a hoof dismissively. “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Twi. . .” As her screen changed once more, the mare gripped the controller even tighter. “Hey, everypony, what are we up against this time? The usual?” Dash asked, and somepony cleared their throat.

A rough, deeper voice came in, saying, “’Fraid not, Dash. Check the boards.” Confused, Rainbow Dash did as she was told and saw a highlighted name at the top of the board. That piqued her interest, seeing as it wasn’t easy to get a golden rank. It had taken the pegasus nearly eight months of lost naps and practice to reach it herself, but the title was well worth it. Everypony knew the skill level it took to get there, so it spoke volumes about their hard work and dedication.

“Yeah, what of it? We’ve got three goldies on this team, they’ve just got him,” she responded nonchalantly, eating another chip.

“Can you even read, Dash? This nopony’s gone the last fifteen games leading in kills and went three of them without dying once. They came out of nowhere and are wrecking anypony in their way,” the male voice came again. Rainbow’s eyebrow twitched in irritation at the idea that their well-built team might finally be challenged. More for her own nerves than anypony else’s, she tilted her chair back and gave a nervous laugh.

“Chill out, guys. Everypony’s gotta lose some time, T-Lane. How long they been at this, anyway?” There was a hesitant pause before a lighter, female voice spoke up.

“Since Tuesday,” she deadpanned. Rainbow Dash’s head whipped to her right so quickly her neck cracked just so she could look at the calendar on the far wall. All days of the week had been crossed out up until Saturday, which she recalled was today. Her eyes widened slightly before her mouth turned into a snarl of defiance.

“Well shit. But that doesn’t mean anything to me! We got this in the bag. Nice of you to join us, Spit. Thought maybe you’d finally tossed in the towel,” Rainbow joked. This was the only place she had where Spitfire’s presence didn’t make her nervous in the least. It was probably because Dash outranked Spitfire in both matches and experience.

“You wish, squirt. You see, I have this thing called a job where ponies take breaks from playing games to get paid for doing something,” the Wonderbolt retorted. “I used to think you had one of those, but your wings probably can’t lift your fat ass out of that chair anymore!” Spitfire burst into laughter, and Rainbow frowned before craning her neck to peer at her own flank. It did look a little squishy to her, but definitely not fat.

“Watch it, punk, or I might have to fly over there and beat your flank!” Dash smiled at the usual banter. Proud of herself, she picked up the Mountain Dew bottle and took in a mouthful.

“Oh yeah, come on over. I’m sure I can give you quite the workout,” Spitfire teased, catching Rainbow off-guard. She spit the green liquid through the air and all over the floor. Through the laughter, another female voice spoke up that exuded confidence and dripped arrogance.

“Everypony with a brain knows she’s got Applejack for that.” The entire lobby erupted into even more uncontrolled laughter except for Dash, who gritted her teeth and blushed furiously.

“Don’t you have some fake magic to cast, Trixie?” Dash spit, causing the mare to be silenced. Suddenly, Twilight was in her ear.

“Rainbow Dash! That was very impolite of you!” The purple unicorn lectured, and everypony grew quiet.

“Who’s the fresh meat?”

“New bait, eh?”

“Twilight Sparkle, is that you!” Trixie exclaimed excitedly. Rainbow rolled her eyes. She had forgotten whatever the hoof it was Twilight and Trixie had going. It was almost as annoying as Trixie’s nearly broken habit of referring to herself in the third pony. Unfortunately, Dash wasn’t at liberty to complain considering she and Applejack had their share of annoyingly close situations.

The cyan pegasus could practically hear Twilight grinning. “Yes, Trix, it’s me. Dash said you needed somepony to fill in for Soarin, so I offered my services,” she explained. Rainbow was still regretting her decision of choosing the mare who was positively ‘noob-ish’, as she would put it.

“Hey, Spit, I don’t know much about unicorns, but they don’t have wings do they?” Thunderlane asked, barely stifling laughter.

“No, they don’t Lanie. Why do you ask?” Spitfire replied, genuinely confused.

“I’m just trying to figure out what to call whatever it is these two have since I clearly can’t call it a wingboner,” he said, laughing through the whole joke. Everypony else, including Rainbow Dash, laughed as well. She felt kind of bad for the two unicorns, but Thunderlane had a point. “And I told you not to call me that, Spitfire. Need I bring back the ‘Miss Punching Bag’ name?” Chuckles could be heard through the headset Dash was wearing as they recalled the incident.

One match, five players on each side, smaller than their usual eight, and it had been a great fight. They would have dominated except for the fact that Spitfire had gotten herself killed a dozen times, once or twice by Ponyville’s resident adventurers, the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

All laughter stopped as a single message popped up on their screens with a beeping noise. It was sent by ‘The Last Angel’, the pony who sought to usurp their position. It read, “Prepare to cough up the title, losers. This angel is goin’ all the way up, straight to heaven.” Enraged shouts came from all but Twilight, who pouted at being called a loser in her first match.

“Let’s wipe the floor with this punk!” Dash growled, and she got several agreements. Pressing a button, she patched herself through to their new enemy. “Hey, don’t have the stones to say that to my face? I bet you ‘re just some ten year old loser who can’t figure out why his voice is making funny sounds!” She hissed into the microphone. There was only silence, but she knew her message had gotten across.

Just as it sounded like somepony was about to speak in their lobby, another message popped up. “You’ll be the last to die, Rainbow Dash. I just want to hear you cry as you watch your all-star team crumble,” it threatened, and you could have heard a pin drop as everypony fell silent. A countdown appeared on Rainbow’s screen, and she gritted her teeth angrily.

. .

“Let’s-“

. .

“-beat-“

. .

“-these-“

. .

“-idiots,” Dash growled angrily.

. .

Twenty minutes later, the electronic sound of fake gunfire ran through Rainbow Dash’s ears. She also heard shouts and taunts from members of her team, as well as the other. Annoyingly, that one pony refused to say a word. Even more annoy was the fact that they were practically strutting through the battlefield, hitting anypony and everypony that stood in their way.

“Five lives left,” an automated voice droned. Frustrated, Dash slammed a hoof down on the arm of her chair.

“Come on, guys, we’re gettin’ rocked here!” She called before taking a headcount. She was left with Thunderlane, Spitfire, Octavia, who had a surprising talent for cutting loose when gaming, Twilight, and herself. From now on, all death would be final, leaving them with fewer ponies to fight back with.

“I’ll cover your back,” Octavia said into her mic. She and Dash ran through the halls of the computer-generated labyrinth, drilling several enemies with bullets. They finally came to the center room where they were supposed to meet the other team members, but only Twilight Sparkle was already there.

“T-Lane, Spit, where are you guys? We’re going to need to work together to get these foals down,” Rainbow called to them.

“On the way, Dash, cool your jets. We’re not too far out, just give us a- GRENADE!” Thunderlane shouted, presumably to Spitfire, before a loud bang down a hall near the center room went off. “Shit! We’re down, Dash, and TLA is comin’ right for you guys.” The three of them were instantly on guard, searching all entrances for their new nemesis.

“Where are they. . .” Dash mumbled to herself as she walked away from the platform. No sooner had she done so than a loud bang caused her to turn around. Perfect, clean headshot on Octavia and she was down before her character hit the ground.

“Shoot. It’s up to you and Twilight now,” the cellist said to them. Rainbow Dash turned to the entrance where the shot had come from just as a single form stepped out. Clad in black and gold armor, carrying a shotgun on their back and a pistol in their hoof, ‘The Last Angel’ stood. Snarling again, Dash raised her weapon and pressed the right trigger button.

Click.

Her rifle was out of bullets and she hadn’t even noticed.

‘The Last Angel’ lifted their pistol and fired it at Twilight, breaking her shields with the first shot. With an out-of-character swear, the unicorn tried to find cover frantically before two more rounds took her out. Dash was all alone now, left with only her own pistol to protect her. ‘The Last Angel’ turned toward the pegasus and strode forward, pulling out the shotgun.

Rainbow raised her pistol to point at her target’s head and pulled the trigger several times.

Once. It pierced the enemy’s shield.

Twice. It hit the enemy square in the face.

A third time. No bang went off, only another click. She was out of ammo and at ‘The Last Angel’s’ mercy.

Still, her new nemesis raised the shotgun to aim at her face and paused. A new message appeared on Rainbow Dash’s screen, and she opened it quickly.

It open to a picture of a wing, the color turned to black and white, folding down four feathers and leaving the middle one up. At the bottom, it read, “I’m gonna enjoy this title.” No sooner had she read in then the sound of a shotgun firing went off and she was sent into the end-game lobby with the rest of her teammates. They were all yelling at each other angrily, a few of them at Dash, but the mare stayed silent. She was fuming from the picture message she had received and asked herself what kind of pony would have such finesse, such confidence, and such natural skill at a war game.

In a small, dark home, the humming of a game system shut off with a little chime and a door opened squeakily. Out stepped a grinning pegasus, who was practically skipping with joy. They looked down to see a small white animal beside them, who was tapping a foot impatiently.

It would seem that even the last, innocent little angelic pony in Equestria wasn’t immune to the lure of war.

“Oh, I’m so sorry about being late, Angel Bunny, I just got caught up in a friendly little game with friends,” Fluttershy said with a devious grin before floating over the kitchen to start on dinner.