Juicy Traditions

by Celefin

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 1379

A fruity bit of hippogriff history as told by my fluffy gf (and a bit of PoE silliness).

My girlfriend Glitterkelp is an artist. She's also one of the few hippogriffs who have made it to Earth so far. You never know what her muse will come up with next.

A silly little thing written in two hours for the Iron Author competition of Ponyfest Online 3.0 on 30/05/2020. Slightly polished for publication.
The prompts were: Hippogriff culture and/or history, art or an artistic occupation - and a rare fruit.

Contains an Equestrian handling a dead animal and having no problem with it. No graphic description, but please don't read if this thought makes you uneasy.

Published 2020-06-13 18:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-06-13 18:50:00 UTC

Still Life

Juicy Traditions

by Celefin

It was early evening when I finally pulled into the driveway of our little cottage. It still felt a little strange after having lived in the city for so long, but the flat just wouldn’t do anymore. Time to move on. And damn, had I moved on. More than I’d ever imagined and in the, so far at least, weirdest way possible.

The setting sun bathed the little thatched house on the coast of Anglesey in golden light and glittered on the sea in the background. The fresh late spring air carried the scent of salt and marram grass. Late spring on the northwestern tip of Wales could be a magical time.

When I entered the low door of our house, I could hear my better half rummage around in our living room. Just as I dropped my backpack there was a solid clunk and a sound like an angry sparrow kicking a seagull. I sighed.

“Glitter? Need a hand?”

I’ve come to love the sound of claws and hooves on a wooden floor. Glitterkelp stuck her head around the corner and grinned, a little unsure.

“Uh, hi! I think I’m done! But thanks!”

“What are you doing?” I asked my birdhorse.

“Creating a still life!”

“That sounded heavy,” I said and had to chuckle.

“Well… I found something that reminded me of home! Have a look?”

It was, well, interesting. You see, Glitter is an artist, body and soul. She’s the main reason we now lived out here, because her muse didn’t come to her in the city. At least not often enough, given that her art has begun to be in demand, enough to provide an actual income. Original paintings by a hippogriff painter are still pretty rare here on Earth after all. Her style is also lovely and unique.

Anyway. She’d moved our little coffee table in front of the window facing out to the sea and put some kind of small furry hide on it. It was also groaning under a green monstrosity of a fruit I’d never seen before.

“What.”

She chittered nervously. “It’s a catfruit!”

“A what?”

“Catfruit! Uh, no, I think it’s called jackfruit. But it looks like a catfruit!”

“What about the tin?”

“That’s also cat- jackfruit. Because I got hungry when I saw it and I could eat it immediately! Also, light plays nicely on a tin!”

And of course Glitter didn’t have to waste time searching for a can opener. Those claws are sharp, I can tell you. I think I have some scars on my back, from when she hadn’t figured out yet just how thin human skin is.

“And… why?” I scratched my neck. “Also, what is a catfruit?”

She smiled that radiant smile that only she was capable of. Mind you, smiling with a beak is something that never gets old to see.

“I found it in the small asia shop, they only had three of them,” she said and patted the enormous green blob. “It reminds me of home! Catfruit grows in the forests on the lower slopes of Mount Aris and some of the other islands in that part of the world!”

I’d of course heard about that place, probably a thousand times. I still like to hear about it though and imagine how I maybe could visit there. Not much chance of that happening anytime soon though… the Equestrians don’t just let anybody through the portal. Least of all tourists, for now at least. So it was going to stay mythical to me for now, and that is always a good basis for a story. And if Glitterkelp is anything, apart from a professional and enthusiastic painter, she’s a great storyteller.

“Are you listening?” She enquired, tilting her head by ninety degrees.

“Yeah, sorry. Why’s it called that?”

“Okay! When hippogriffs first settled there, there were predators on the islands that looked a bit like Earth tigers, just smaller. But faster and nastier. And they could fly! Glide. And spit venom!”

“Sounds nasty.” I made another mental note of another Equestrian species to avoid should I ever go there. The whole planet sounds like a tuned-up version of Australia with added magic. So far I hadn’t dared ask about Equestrian spiders.

“Almost as venomous as the emerald fang spiders!”

Sigh.

“But faster!” She ruffeld her wings for emphasis.

“Okay. So what’s with the-” I did a double take. “Seriously?!” Her sheepish grin and blush confirmed my sudden suspicion. How do you blush through feathers? Never mind. Focus on that… dead cat on the table. That actual dead cat.

I facepalmed. Slowly, and with both hands. “Glitter?”

“Uh. Okay. Maybe not my best idea. But I got into the zone and needed the perfect prop and then at the side of the road there was… uh…” At least she had the decency to look embarrassed. “Sorry.”

You learn to adapt to many things when living with Glitterkelp. So I just sighed, took a deep breath and smiled at her. “Okay!” That sounded almost as chipper as her.

She gave me a long look.

Sigh.

“You’re right. Not okay. I can see you put a newspaper under it at least. You're forgiven.” As always. “What’s the story?”

Another one of those wonderful beak-smiles.

Have I mentioned I love her to bits? I love her to bits.

“Okay! Those tiger beasties gave everybody who wanted to build a home on the ground a really hard time. And having to shapeshift and jump into the sea ten times a day gets really annoying when you’re trying to concentrate on building a hut I’d imagine!”

I looked at the fruit-smothered roadkill on my coffee table. “I think I get the idea.”

“Gripping and throwing a stone isn’t half as easy as doing so with a big fruit! At least for us.” She flexed her claws for emphasis. “Also, they’re already above ground! You can pluck them from the tree in flight!”

I tried to picture the scene. Straight out of a cartoon show.

“Time’s a bit wonky between Earth and home, but around now is the catfruit festival, when most of them are ripe at the same time.”

“Please tell me this one here was hit by a car and not by that fruit.”

She looked guilty for a second.

“Glitter?!”

“Nononono! I couldn’t find a live one on my way home! Just this one.”

“So… you actually drop heavy fruits on catbeasts on a kind of country fair on Mount Aris?”

“Oh no. They’re extinct.”

“I wonder why.”

“Hm.”

Glitter looked over her shoulder at the painting she’d started. The ocean in the background looked a lot warmer than the one visible out our patio door. Her wings and neck feathers drooped.

“Hey,” I said softly and put a hand on her shoulder. “We’ll put it in a bag and in the fridge tonight and you can work on the picture tomorrow. How about I make us some dinner? I got some fresh turbot on the way home.”

She turned around with a little squeak. “Aw, really? You’re spoiling me!”

“Only the best for my fluffy girl.”

The best thing about hippogriff hugs is the chest fluff.

“Can you cook with jackfruit?” I asked.

“Mmm, I think so. Tastes and feels almost like catfruit as well! I’d prefer it as dessert though.”

“Is it very sweet?”

She curled her tail around my legs, reached backwards with her left arm and speared a piece of canned fruit on a claw. “Mmhm.” Looking me into the eyes she ate it and slowly licked the juice off the talon and the corners of her beak.

I had to smile. “Glitter?”

She grinned at me and hugged me tighter, tracing a claw up my back.

I felt a bit warm.

She put her beak next to my ear and murmured, “It appears it also works on hippogriffs just like catfruit.”

“Dessert it is then,” I gave back with a smirk.

“Definitely,” she replied in a husky voice.

I stroked her back and drew small circles over her wing joints, making her shudder with half-lidded eyes. “Now get the roadkill of our coffee table.”

I really do love her. Antics, sharp claws and all. Ow.