It Was a Pleasure to Burn

It Was a Pleasure to Burn

Fire washes the skin off the bone and the sin off the soul. It cleans away the dirt. And my momma didn’t raise herself no dirty boy.

II - Best Not Speak Ill of the Dead...

__________

Pain. No matter our differences, it is the one thing that unites us. It does not care if you are black or white, rich or poor, man or woman. "God" is not just a noun, it is also an adjective. It describes something that is everywhere at once and sees everything at once. Pain is the god that rules the living, the one we all recognize yet abhor and fear. And yet, it teaches us so much more than the gods of recognizable religions, and does so without words. It tells us when we are doing something wrong and when we are doing something right. It acts as our conscience, causing guilt when we act wrongly. It cannot be bargained with, it cannot be placated. It can have a cruel sense of humor at times, but will never willingly take a life. When you feel pain, you know it. Sometimes it simply pokes at you as when you get a cut. Sometimes it immobilizes you as when you get shot.

Have you ever tried to imagine pain? Or recall it from memory? You will find that it is nothing short of impossible. You only feel pain when it is with you, and when it leaves you cannot call it back until it chooses to do so. It plays by its own rules, and we play by its, not the other way around.

But as with any god, it chooses to stay with its prophets.

~~~

When Caulk entered the warp gate, lots of things happened instantaneously. Firstly, he was met with a blinding flash of white light. Next, he experienced the sensation of having his body ripped apart on a molecular level, then on an atomic level and so on, until the matter that made up his body was converted into pure energy and data, which was then sent through a quantum link to another warp gate. Upon its arrival, the energy was converted back into the matter it once composed, and the data carried with it was used to arrange the matter into its original shape.

The entire process took exactly 0.0230 nanoseconds.

When the process was finished, however, Caulk found himself being launched through the air and landing on a hard surface. The process of being torn apart and slammed back together also left Caulk experiencing an indescribable magnitude of pain throughout his body. He could not move. He could not scream. He could not think. There was only the pain. After several, agonizing seconds which felt like hours to him, his body reached the point where it could not bear it, and shut down, waiting for the pain to pass.

~~~

When Celestia had decided to bring the enormous, orange machination with her back to Canterlot, she did not anticipate just how difficult the task would be. When she and her two guards were back in the cave that they had found the machine in, she had told them that she wanted to take it with her. The instant the words left her mouth, Celestia saw her guards' eyes widen at the proposal. She could practically hear them think: "There is no BUCKING way we can carry this thing."

Fortunately for the guards' backs, Celestia chose to carry the machine with her magic herself  back to the mouth of the cave. Once there, she went to her chariot and fetched a short roll of paper and quill, and sent a message back to Canterlot, telling them to send a cargo chariot. When the team of six pegasi pulling the cargo chariot arrived and saw the colossal heap of orange, they had a reaction identical to that of Celestia's two guards that were in the cave.

Despite the team's unspoken protests, the machine was loaded and strapped onto the chariot. The team was reluctant to try and fly the massive machine all the way to the capitol, but still they attempted anyways. They gained speed while on the ground very slowly, but remarkably, they managed to get it off the ground. At least, they did for a few seconds, at which point the chariot and team came crashing down onto the ground.

After a quick brainstorm, Celestia ordered her two guards to assist the team of cargo pegasi, which they obliged. Now without a usable chariot of her own, Celestia chose to abandon her original chariot at the cave and opted to sit with the machine. The team started off a bit easier this time, and even managed to remain airborne for a few minutes. Still, even with the added help of the two guards, they were still required to land again, albeit a bit smoother in relation to the last attempt.

Celestia started to grow desperate for a solution at this point, should she send for more ponies to help carry the chariot? No, she was already late to Canterlot as it was with this... unexpected delay. So what could she do? Celestia looked around in hopes that something would give her some much needed inspiration when her eyes alighted on one of the spare flight harnesses that were kept on the chariot.

Taking a deep breath, she picked it up with her magic and brought it around to the front of the chariot and attached it in front of her two guards. While Celestia was buckling herself into the harness she could feel the surprised eyes of eight pegasi staring at her. Celestia didn't blame them. It had been well over a thousand years since the last time she had ever pulled a chariot. The nervousness she felt about the coming task was not the result of the idea that she would have to play an active role in pulling the chariot for the first time in generations, but something much more personal. It was more that the entire team of eight stallions behind her would have a full on view of her flank.

Swallowing her pride, Celestia looked over her shoulder to face the pegasi team behind her and said in as motivational a voice as she could muster,

"Alright, ponies, it's go big or go home now. Anypony want to back out?" She paused for a moment but was met with silence. "Didn't think so. Front up and earn it!" Celestia turned her head back to face forward and clamped her eyes shut.

I'm really glad I am not a hoofball coach right now, she thought.

Much to her surprise, however, Celestia's little speech earned a small chorus of "Yeah!", "All right!" and "Let's do it!"

With Celestia leading the way, emboldened by the team's positive feedback, the team of now nine ponies surged forward. Even though it had been a very long time since she had pulled a chariot and was somewhat out of shape in comparison to those days, Celestia found that the chariot was indeed much heavier than anything she had carried before. Putting as much effort as she could into it, the team lifted the now forty-five hundred pound chariot into the sky. Despite being relatively out of shape, Celestia's significantly larger size to most ponies gave her the physical strength of two strong stallions.

The amount of exertion the team put into moving the chariot was astounding, but still they managed to keep it in the air. After what seemed like an entire day, the chariot dropped hard onto the landing platform outside the palace in Canterlot, making a loud crack that none of the team were willing to put much thought into. A unicorn guard standing watch immediately noticed the extraordinary fatigue the entire team had, including in Celestia, and ran into the barracks. The guard emerged with a dozen pitchers of water and Captain Shining Armor, both in a dead sprint towards the chariot.

By this time, Celestia had managed to pull the harness off of herself, but was now lying on her stomach gasping for breath. The guard with the water had insisted upon giving her one of the water pitchers which she accepted without hesitation, gulping it down greedily.

"Princess! What happened? Why were you pulling the chariot yourself?" Shining Armor was practically shouting while Celestia was not even finished with her water. She could really see the similarities in character between he and his sister, Twilight Sparkle. They were both extremely devoted to anything or anyone they put their mind to. It was no wonder the two of them had managed to become the respected members of society they were today.

"Calm down, Captain. Nothing happened. I just wanted to get back to Canterlot without any further delays," Celestia said, unwilling to use the formal tone she usually spoke with on account of her fatigue.

"But what could possibly have been so important that you had to pull this yourself? We would have understood if you were late so why didn't you send for more ponies?" Evidently, Shining refused to calm down and was still in hysterics.

"Because no job is beneath a leader. As for what... look in the chariot for yourself." With that, Shining hesitantly went to the back of the chariot and looked inside. Celestia could see the whites of his eyes from her position over sixty hoof-lengths away. Evidently perturbed by what he saw, Shining walked back to Celestia at the front of the chariot, who by now had gotten a chance to catch her breath.

"W-What is that thing?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"To be honest, I do not know," Celestia admitted. "The best I can tell you is that it is some kind of automaton. Whatever its purpose might be, however, escapes me."

"But is it dangerous? We can't risk this thing turning on and going on a rampage, so what do we do with it?" Shining asked. From his perspective, they had stumbled upon a giant, metal machine of unknown origin that may or may not be intended to--or at least capable of--causing a massive amount of damage.

"It is not dangerous at the moment," Celestia said, attempting to ease the diligent guard captain's fears. "But otherwise I do agree with you. For that, I want you to have this stored in the dungeon. The walls there should be able to contain it, in the event it reactivates."

"Yes, Ma'am," Shining said with a salute, satisfied with the decision. He turned to leave for the barracks to gather more guards to haul the chariot to the dungeon.

"Oh, and Captain?" Celestia called before he was out of earshot.

"Yes?"

"Ensure that my guards and the rest of the ponies pulling this chariot are given a week's paid vacation. They have earned it."

"Of course, your Highness. Anything else?"

"Yes. Tell my sister about everything here. I need to go to sleep." With that, Celestia stood up and walked slowly into the palace.

~~~

Caulk pushed himself off the ash-covered ground and turned back to face the enormous Torrasque that had already killed the rest of his platoon. He took a moment to get a better look at the monstrosity. It resembled an ultralisk, only much, much larger. The Torrasque probably stood at a good eight meters rather than the usual ultralisk's five. It had four legs that were the size of trees and four arms that ended in its enormous kaiser blades. The upper two were pushing nine meters in length and the lower two were closer to six. Its head was small in comparison to the rest of his body, but was still the size of Caulk's suit, if not larger. Extending from the back of its head was a colossal, armored crest that covered its entire back. Caulk wondered as to how such an enormous creature could exist on land.

Caulk's brief respite was shattered when the Torrasque unleashed a hellish roar, enraged that its prey had managed to evade it for so long. The Torrasque charged at Caulk, pulling back one of its larger kaiser blades in preparation for a sweeping strike that would cleave Caulk's body in two like a hot knife through butter. Just as it reached Caulk, he dove onto the ground to the side to avoid being trampled, and dodged the kaiser blade by mere centimeters. The instant he hit the ground, Caulk rolled onto his back and blasted the Torrasque's side with his Perdition flamethrowers, achieving little more than a few scorch marks and an even more enraged Torrasque.

I don't have enough firepower to bring this thing down, Caulk thought as he picked himself up off the ground. He looked around the volcanic battlefield for something that would help. He noticed one of his fellow firebats had been hacked apart by who-knows-what, and one of his flamethrower tanks had a small puncture that was slowly leaking Perdition fuel. An idea formed in his mind that was equally as insane and suicidal as this entire mission to Char.

Running over to the firebat's remains, Caulk grabbed the leaking fuel tank and ripped it from its owner's back. He let out a sharp whistle to get the Torrasque's attention and ran right up in front of it. Uncontrollable rage and fury burned in the Torrasque's eyes, but for some reason it paused, possibly in surprise from the bold move. Caulk cocked his arm back and sent the fuel tank flying straight at the Torrasque's face. The monstrosity caught the tank in its jaws and crushed it with enough force to break diamond, splattering the Perdition fuel all over its face, mouth and throat.

Since Caulk was right at the perfect distance from the Torrasque, it didn't need to charge. All it had to do was bring its kaiser blades back to slice him right in half. Just as the blades began their rapid journey towards his midsection, Caulk dove forward, even closer to the Torrasque, such that it could not reach it even with its shorter blades. During the dive, he rotated his body so that he would land on his back. Now having noticed this change in situation, the Torrasque leaned down to snap Caulk up in its jaws, giving him an unusually grim demise. Just as its head came into range, Caulk blasted it again. This time, however, the Perdition fuel that coated its face, mouth and throat was ignited, torching the Torrasque through its unarmored mouth.

The Torrasque let out an ear-splitting roar, this time out of pain rather than rage. Caulk scrambled away from the flailing beast to avoid getting crushed. He stood up a good distance away and watched with satisfaction as the Torrasque thrashed. Soon, the flames burned through its skull and instantly incinerated its brain. The Torrasque's roars and thrashing immediately stopped as it died and crashed to the ground.

Now that that's done, Caulk thought as he turned back around to face the carnage before him. The sudden realization that his entire platoon laid dead before him was sobering. Yet, for some reason the crushing emotions never came, as though the shock had overloaded his mind.

Did this finally break me? Caulk wondered with fear, Have I finally lost it?

~~~

"...So now it's contained in the dungeon until we can figure out what to do with it," Shining Armor concluded his description of  current events to Princess Luna with.

"And my sister? Where is she?" Luna asked. She had been working on adjusting her speech for some time now, and was proud to say she had finally made the switch to modern Equestrian.

"Asleep in her chambers, your Highness. The flight took a toll on her," explained Shining.

"Very well. I would like to see this 'machine' for myself. If you would kindly lead the way?" Luna's view of the situation was much less... cautious than her sister's or the Guard Captain's. Being the Princess of the Night, she found it exciting that something could come from the stars that she so adored.

"Of course. Right this way."

The walk to the dungeon was surprisingly short. Contrary to what logic might dictate, the most dangerous threats to society were not kept as far as possible from the center of Equestrian government. The philosophy was not without reason, however. It was guided by the old dictum: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."

The dungeon was an underground structure directly beneath the Royal Guard barracks, for obvious reasons. The only way to get into the dungeon was by going down a steep ramp that led to a massive steel portcullis. It had another wooden gate that was meant more for protection against the elements that would be lowered during the Autumn and Winter months. Now, though, the wooden gate was open. The inside walls of the dungeon were made of bare, reinforced concrete and had no windows whatsoever. Despite the lack of natural light, the dungeon was still well lit with countless lamps hung on the walls. The actual shape of the dungeon was little more than a long corridor with its cells lining the sides. The corridor itself was seventy-five hoof-lengths tall and a hundred wide. The cells each had a thick steel door with a small sliding window. Fortunately, Equestria had few criminals and so the vast majority of the cells were vacant.

Closer to the portcullis the cells were smaller, intended for inhabitants such as ponies, gryphons and other creatures of similar size. These cells occupied the first third of the corridor. The second third was lined with larger cells that had wider, thicker steel doors and much thicker walls. These cells were used to house larger species such as Diamond Dogs and Minotaurs. Due to the more aggressive nature of these creatures, these were the most frequently occupied cells. The final third of the corridor had only a few very large cells with massive steel doors that could only be opened with heavy machinery. These cells were used to contain the largest of creatures, such as fully grown dragons. Fortunately, these were the least used as creatures of this size preferred to remain solitary and did not threaten populated areas. At present, only one of these larger cells was occupied.

As Shining Armor and Luna walked down the corridor, Luna began to feel perturbed by the dungeon. It bothered her that Equestria had inhabitants that were so terrible that they needed to be locked away. Despite all this, she deemed it a necessary evil. During the period that Luna's body was dominated by Nightmare Moon, she had been imprisoned on the moon for her crimes. At the time she felt enraged at that. Although now that she had had time to think back on it, Luna recognized that it was the best decision for everypony. She did not agree with everything the dungeon stood for, but it was in society's best interests. It contained dangerous individuals and it was keeping them locked away for good reason.

Shining guided Luna down past the smaller cells, which did not surprise her. Based on Shining's description, there was no way the machine could have been able to fit inside. What surprised her was that they continued walking past the larger cells and to the massive Class-3 ones.

"Just how large was this machine, anyway?" Luna asked in confusion.

"Big enough to break the suspension on the chariot when it landed. Those things aren't designed to carry loads like that. Mostly we carry food or other lighter supplies on cargo chariots. Something of this thing's size should have been taken here on a train. And since we couldn't move it, we had to bring it down here with it still in the chariot, broken suspension and all. It was a... nightmare to say the least." Luna noticed Shining's pause, however slight, before he said "nightmare." Luna frowned at that. She wished ponies would stop worrying about offending her by bringing up the ordeal. It bothered Luna, yes, but that was a personal problem that she had to work out on her own.

"I see. So this is it, then?" Luna asked as they stopped in front of the one occupied Class-3 cell.

"This is it. I'd rather not open the door but there's always the sliding panel," Shining said as he opened the small window slit.

Luna's jaw dropped as she beheld the machine. It was obviously alien in origin, being made entirely of metal components. Most Equestrian, Gryphon and Minotaurian machinery was mostly made of wood and only having metal where a large amount of strength was required. It was not that it could not be done, but it was very expensive to do so. As fascinated as she was, Luna still wanted to get a closer look at the machine.

"Open the door," she ordered.

"Ma'am?"

"I said, open the door," this time a little more forcefully.

"... Right away, Ma'am," Shining complied with trepidation. He did not like exposing anypony to the machine, least of all the princesses. Still, he knew his place. Shining's horn glowed as he activated the door's opening mechanisms. With a loud grind, the door slowly inched open. He was only willing to open it as much as was needed for a pony to fit through.

When the door stopped, Luna trotted into the cell, barely holding back her excitement. Now that she was able to get a better look at the machine, she found that it had countless markings on it. The vast majority of the marks were scratches in the paint and small, insignificant dents. One that caught Luna's eye were three, parallel gouges on the machines right shoulder plate. The only thing that Luna thought could make such a mark was a large, clawed creature similar to a Diamond Dog. An interesting thing she noticed about the gouges were that they had been painted over instead of repaired, and that the inside of the gouges had been painted red.

Along the edge of both gauntlets was a bar of paint that alternated between black and yellow, the lines separating the different colors were set at a forty-five degree angle to the edge. On its left shoulder plate was a strange symbol that Luna could not identify. It was shaped like a red, oddly shaped hexagon. The bottom two sides that were angled more sharply than the others were inset by what looked vaguely like a Minotaur's flexed bicep, and above it was a five-point star.

... a strange symbol that Luna could not identify.

Luna wondered as to what the symbol might represent. The best she could come up with was that it represented the nationality that the machine came from. Luna was excited at that, as it proved the existence of alien civilizations. The only other symbol of interest was what appeared to be a yellow silhouette of a bat with outstretched wings. The location of this particular symbol made Luna blush slightly, as it was placed on what resembled the automaton's codpiece.

There were no other symbols of interest on the machine, but then Luna's eyes fell upon something that made her drastically revise her view of  the machine. Along the bottom edge of the machine's abdomen was a line of engraved runes.

"Captain Shining Armor, I want you to read this line for me," Luna said, pointing to the line of runes.

"Ma'am, with all due respect this is an alien machine. I don't think I can read anything that's- ...CMC-660 Heavy Combat Suit..."