Sounds Heard Around the World
“Well, what do ya guys think?”
Everypony was gathered in a small shack, just outside and below Rainbow Dash’s house.
Rainbow Dash pointed excitedly at her newest toy. Applejack, Twilight, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity all just stared, unsure of what to say.
“It’s uh…” Twilight searched for words to say.
“It’s very nice, dear.” Rarity said half-heartedly.
“What is it?” Asked Pinkie Pie?
“It’s my new turntable!” Rainbow Dash said with a huge grin on her face.
Applejack looked exasperated. “This is what you called us here for? To show us your latest get rich quick scheme?”
“It’s not a scheme! It’s a plan! A career change!” Rainbow Dash argued back.
“And what kind of career is that gonna get you?”
“I’m gonna be a DJ!”
Pinkie Pie perked up, “A DJ! Oh my gosh, that’s awesome! You can play at all my parties and we’ll have tons of fun and you’ll play music we all dance to and it’ll be like ‘bump bump bump’ and everypony will love it and-!”
Rainbow Dash cut Pinkie Pie off as she started to bounce around the room poorly imitating a basic techno beat. “Alright Pinkie, calm down. I’ll DJ for some of your parties, but I’m trying to get famous. I wanna play in all those cool clubs in Cloudsdale and Canterlot.” Rainbow Dash turned to Applejack, “See though? Pinkie Pie gets it. Being a DJ is gonna be the best thing ever!”
“Ah don’t know sugarcube, DJ’s don’t get famous very often.”
“She’s right you know,” Twilight Chimed in, “most musicians have to work very hard to play professionally, and many of them started at a really young age.”
“Ah’d hardly call RD a musician.” Applejack grumbled.
“Most of the ponies I saw in Canterlot who became professional musicians were sent off to a music academy almost as soon as they could walk on their own. The first thing they learned how to read were music notes.”
Rainbow Dash laughed them off, “You guys worry too much. Sure I’ll have to work at it, but plenty of ponies have made it as DJs, just look at Vinyl Scratch!”
“Who’s that?”
“Oh come on Fluttershy! Vinyl Scratch!” Dash looked around the room, “Do none of you girls know who Vinyl Scratch is? DJ PON-3?”
“What kind of ghastly name is PON-3?” Rarity asked.
“It’s not ‘ghastly,’ it’s awesome! It’s Vinyl Scratch’s stage name, she goes by DJ PON-3 when she plays a show. Speaking of which, you guys can’t call me Rainbow Dash anymore.”
Pinkie Pie stopped bouncing? “Then what are we supposed to call you, silly? You can’t not have a name, if you didn’t then I wouldn’t know how to put you on my party invitations!”
“Don’t worry, Pinkie, I just want you all to call me by my stage name. You know, to help spread the word and get me more well-known.”
Applejack sighed, “And what name would that be?”
“Dashpunk”
Twilight looked confused, “Dashpunk?”
“Yeah! From now on, you guys should call me Dashpunk. I’m the coolest, baddest DJ around! My beats are heavy, my tunes are sick, and I’ll play bass drops that fall so hard you’ll think you-“
“Darling please, we understand. You’re going to be a very fine… DJ, we’re sure of it.”
“See Applejack, Rarity’s starting to get it, too! But I’m not just gonna be a good DJ, Rarity, I’m gonna be the best.”
Applejack looked like she was starting to suffer from a migraine, “You don’t say?”
“Yup!” Rainbow Dash said, completely oblivious to Applejack’s sarcasm, “Soon enough, everypony in Equestria’s gonna be talking about me! Everypony’s gonna want Dashpunk at their clubs and their parties! That’s why I had this studio built, so that I could make my music in here where the sound can’t escape through the thick walls and doors and bother anypony. Not that I’m sure why they’d be bothered.”
“Ah can’t imagine why either.” Applejack started to walk out, “Well, I’ll be seein’ ya’ll later. Thanks to ‘Dashpunk’ I’m behind on mah applebuckin’ quota for today.” The door slammed behind her.
Rainbow Dash laughed nervously, “Wonder what her problem is? Oh well, hey do you wanna hear my latest demo? It’s really awesome, I’m making my remix of it soon and it’s gonna be like, 20% cooler, but I thought maybe you all wanted to hear the original before I release it.”
Before anypony could object, Applejack walked back in, looking very annoyed.
“It’s for you, Dashpunk.”
“Who is it?”
“The hay if I know! She just said you’d better be ready to get shown up.”
Everypony looked confused, but they stepped out of Rainbow Dash’s studio to see what was going on.
They saw in the clearing in front of them, that two entire stages had been set up to face each other, each outfitted with its own stage crew and equipment as well.
“How did we not hear all this being set up?” Twilight asked.
“I told you those walls were thick.” Rainbow Dash answered.
A white pony with an electric blue mane called out to Rainbow Dash, “Dashpunk! You better be ready! Cause I’m gonna show you how to really DJ! There’s a reason why I’m the biggest DJ in Equestria!”
“Who is that?” Asked Twilight.
Rainbow Dash stared in awe, “…It’s Vinyl Scratch.”
Vinyl Scratch yelled some more, “Get up on the stage, Dashpunk! We’re gonna settle this the old fashioned way, with a DJ battle!”
“Oh fer Celestia’s sake. I’m leaving, ya’ll let me know how this turns out.” Applejack left and headed back to Sweet Apple Acres.
“It sounds like you better do what she says, Dashpunk,” Pinkie giggled at the name, “She seems pretty serious, and you seem pretty sure you’re a good DJ.”
Still starstruck, Rainbow Dash walked up to one of the stages, “Uh, yeah, I guess I better.”
Vinyl Scratch took her position then on the stage behind the turntable opposite to Rainbow Dash’s stage. By this time, most of Ponyville had shown up to see what all the noise was about, and a few traveling rave ponies had tagged along as well.
The stage(s) were set, and the battle was ready to begin.
Vinyl Scratch wasted no time. A filthy bass drop the screamed her stage name flew out from the speakers and hit Rainbow Dash square in the face, almost knocking her off her hooves completely.
“PON-3 doesn’t go easy!” Scratch yelled.
Rainbow Dash regained herself, and responded, the fury of competition burning in her eyes. “Neither does Dashpunk!”
Rainbow Dash sent out a wave of high pitched music from her end. The sound went right over Scratch, but was brought down and hit her from behind when Rainbow Dash suddenly dropped the bass.
“Hit me from behind, will ya! Let’s see how you handle this!” Vinyl Scratch turned on a beat, and begin throwing out smaller, but more numerous bass synths at Rainbow Dash.
Dash responded in kind.
The battle raged on for five hours straight. Dashpunk and PON-3 did everything they could to defeat each other, and just when everypony thought they had heard the dirtiest, lowest, filthiest bass drop of them all, they heard something better.
The beats got crazier and more complex, the speakers pumped so hard that trees nearby started to show cracks in their wood, and every living thing in the Everfree forest retreated further back by about three miles, just to avoid the intensity. Celestia almost declared a national emergency, when back in Canterlot, she thought she’d felt an earthquake in the distance. No matter how crazy things got though, the two DJs never beat each other. When the stopped playing, it was only because they had both collapsed from exhaustion.
“I had no idea Rainbow- I mean Dashpunk was so good.” Fluttershy said as she took off the special sound blocking headphones Twilight had magicked up. Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rarity’s ears were tingling a little still, but they had it better off than most of the other ponies, who all had at least permanent minor hearing loss.
“Neither did I,” Twilight said, “I thought that Dashpunk was just joking around, I didn’t know she actually was practicing to be a DJ.”
“I rather liked it.” Rarity said.
The other three turned in surprise.
“What? I’m allowed to have fun, too.”
Rainbow Dash and Vinyl Scratch got up slowly. They walked to the center in between the two stages.
“You’re pretty good, kid.” Vinyl Scratch said.
“Thanks, you’re not so bad yourself.”
They both sat awkwardly for a minute before Rainbow Dash broke the silence.
“I, uh, I liked what you did with that track loop on your third song.”
“Oh, uh thanks. I liked the way you go really high and then really low. It’s like a roller coaster put into music.”
Rainbow Dash blushed, “Well it’s not as good as you. I mean, I can get the bass pretty low, but you go deeper and you stay there! I mean, one of your songs, it was just like I couldn’t even get past the bass synth, I couldn’t believe it was that low and you were making it wobble!”
“That’s nothing! When you played those two tracks together, the really wild future synth and then the deep breathing sound bite, I thought I was flying through space and exploring the ocean at the same time!”
They both stared off for a few more seconds.
“I think I love you.” They said at the same time.
Pinkie Pie squealed.
Rarity swooned.
Twilight laughed in shock.
Fluttershy let out a little “yay!”
And a few miles away, Applejack groaned in exasperation.
“If we could play that well against each other…” Vinyl thought outloud.
“Then imagine how well we’d play together!” Rainbow Dash said excitedly.
“I know just the club, too! It’s in Fillydelphia!”
“Get on my back then!” Rainbow Dash said, “We’re heading to Fillydelphia as the ultimate force in electronic music, DJ PON-3 and Dashpunk are gonna bring that club down to the ground!”
“I’ll see you guys later!” Rainbow Dash called out as she flew away, “I might be gone for a couple months! I think we’re touring, so can one of you watch Tank for me? Thanks!”
And with that, the two greatest DJs Equestria has ever known began their life together, bringing with them the best music any club had ever heard, ever.
