Grave Reflections

by Anonomis

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Suicide / Self Harm, Tragedy, Equestria Girls, Main 7 (EqG), Twilight Velvet, Twilight Sparkle (EqG), Death, Alternate Universe, Human, Night Light, Sad, Drama
Length: 3698

Twilight is reminded of a death she'd rather forget

Sci-Twi has to face an agonizing day at school on the one year anniversary of the death of her brother.
Spike is human in this story so the 'Human' tag is used to reflect this

Published 2020-06-15 17:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-06-15 17:50:00 UTC

The Day From Hell

Twilight abruptly woke with a jolt after feeling what she believed to be a nudge. After putting her glasses on to see, she glanced over to a digital alarm clock sitting on a nightstand to see the time.

“Typical,” she muttered, switching it off “Why even bother setting it when I keep waking up too early?”

With her alarm turned off; Twilight got changed from her nightgown into the shorts and shirt that were set out the night before. Looking around her room; she couldn’t help but remind herself of the empty nature of half the room. The residue of a collapsible barrier that was once attached to the walls to separate the residents was still on the walls, as if someone hadn’t bothered to fully scrape it off.

Once dressed; she grabbed her backpack and left, only to pass by a wall of photos hanging in the hallway. Each showed Twilight or her older brother Shining Armor, along with their parents Twilight Velvet and Night Light. Located on a small table near the kitchen was another image that was partially hidden from the rest. In the photo was the family members with a young male with green spiky hair standing in front of Twilight. Twilight had to look away and wipe her eyes in an attempt to block out some memories that started to emerge as she said down in the nearest chair at the dinner table.

“Morning; dear,” Velvet said

“Meh,” Twilight shrugged in response “What are we having for breakfast; mom?”

“I thought something easy like cheese and mushroom omelets and bacon would be sufficient,” Velvet answered

“Want any help,” Shining offered as he headed inside

“If you want to start working on frying the bacon; that would be nice,” Velvet suggested

“Just a reminder; we’ll be heading there after school gets out,” Night Light announced

“Speaking of; do I actually have to go to school today,” Twilight begged

“Unfortunately; yes, you do,” Velvet answered “If not; I fear your friends would show up here with the National Guard to drag you there.”

“By the way, Twily; don’t forget to take your medication,” Shining pointed out, tossing her a pill bottle

“I don’t know why you insist I still take these things,” she argued “It’s been a year and these things haven’t done anything to help.”

“They were supposed to help alleviate any symptoms from the PTSD the doctors diagnosed you with,” Velvet said as her daughter swallowed a capsule with a small glass of milk

“Even then; I’ve just tried to keep the hallucinations to myself,” Twilight pointed out “No one has any idea about my condition.”

“And it’s best to try and keep it that way,” Night Light added “After breakfast, would you like a ride to school?”

“Thanks for the offer, dad; but it’s not too much of a walk to get to Canterlot High. It’s easier than having to get a ride to Crystal Prep every day.”

“Sorry to interrupt, but breakfast is ready,” Velvet announced

Shining and Velvet headed over to the table with two trays containing the cooked bacon and omelets as Twilight reached over to get her helping. Their father grabbed the coffee pot and set four cups out as each received some.

Once everything was cleaned and put away in its proper place; Twilight grabbed her backpack and headed off for her daily walk. In order to keep her mind occupied; she pictured the same little brother walking alongside her.

“Slow down; Spike,” she said in a low voice

No answer was received from her hallucination, but it didn’t matter. It was only a year ago that things changed with her brother that left lasting scars that only her family could truly know. Once in her English class; Twilight still found her mind wondering as she elected not to take notes; but jot down something else.

Somewhere; you’ll find me
Picking up the fallen pieces
I’ve left behind in my wake
Keeping my mind intact
Each time I see your smiling face

“What’s that,” a voice asked curiously

“It’s nothing,” Twilight answered hastily, shoving the paper inside a notebook “Nothing. Why do you ask; Rarity?”

“From what I saw; it looked like an interesting poem,” Rarity mused “It isn’t like you to not pay attention in class.”

“I’ve just had a lot on my mind,” Twilight answered, in a seemingly robotic way “It hasn’t been a good day so far.”

“It’s only first period,” Rarity pointed out “Whatever happened earlier, can get only get better later."

“I wish it was that easy,” Twilight thought “If it was; I’d be puking rainbows and shitting unicorns.”

The lesson in history; which was usually thrilling, was so uninteresting Twilight found herself resting her head in the crook of her arm as she fell asleep. Despite the ringing of the bell; she made no notice as the students were dismissed. A series of pokes into her arm was used to draw her attention.

“Quit it; Spike,” she muttered

“Yo, poindexter,” Dash said loudly “Your class left already and you’re currently sitting in my seat.”

“Oh,” Twilight said dismissively

“Miss Sparkle; since it seems you aren’t feeling well; I’ve informed Mrs. Harshwhinny you won’t be in her class, and can stay here,” Cheerilee offered “Miss Dash; just take another seat in the meantime.”

“Actually; if you don’t mind, I’d rather go to see Nurse Redheart,” Twilight said

“Since I can’t have a student going without an escort; Dash will assist you,” Cheerilee decided

A hall pass was given to her as the pair left towards their destination.

“Spill it,” Dash started “There’s two things I need to know. First; you’ve never slept through a lesson as far as I remember; so why the change? Secondly; who or what’s this ‘Spike' you mentioned?”

“I’m just not feeling alright. As for the other question; it’s a long story I’m not getting into.”

“If you’re sure,” Dash mused “You know; the others are going to ask you the same questions."

Twilight simply ignored any other questions or comments Dash may have asked her as her appearance in school was more so forced rather than choice.

“What brings you in here; Miss Sparkle,” Redheart inquired, taking the pass

“I just haven’t been feeling well,” Twilight answered automatically

“She fell asleep through her previous class period and into mine,” Dash chimed in

“I’ll handle it from here,” Redheart stated “Go ahead and return to class now, Dash.”

“Well; your temperature is normal,” Redheart announced “98 point 6 degrees. That rules out any sickness.”

“Physical sickness; maybe. Mental is a different story,” Twilight thought

“Why did you come down here,” Redheart asked again

“I’ll take it from here,” a voice stated

“Principal Celestia,” Twilight asked in disbelief “What brings you in here?”

“I received a call from your mother about you possibly acting differently,” Celestia explained “Why don’t we head to my office and talk privately?”

Without an argument; Twilight grabbed her backpack and followed her principal to the front office and took the padded chair in front of the usually imposing desk.

“I’ll be blunt,” Celestia started “What exactly happened to change you? In the year that you’ve been here; this is the first time you have ever been sick.”

“I won’t go into detail, but my younger brother died. It caused a bout of post traumatic stress disorder because of it.”

“My condolences for your loss. It’s not easy to deal with burying family. Luna and I had to see to taking care of the arrangements for our parents,” Celestia said

“What happens now?”

“You’ll have to return to class for the rest of the day,” came the answer “All that I ask is you just try your best.”

“I make no guarantees about the rest of the day. I’m lucky that I’m here.”

After the meeting with Celestia; Twilight returned to sit in the last fifteen minutes of Mrs. Harshwhinny’s class before heading to the next class. Up towards her sixth period physical education class; she was barely paying attention and trying to stay awake. In PE; she opted to walk around the school’s running track while the rest of the class played games.

Finally with all her classes done, she just had to hope her food stayed in her stomach before her parents picked her up. Deciding on a salad; Twilight grabbed a table in the back of the room, and poked at it, as she read the poem from earlier.

“What’s that,” Dash asked, taking a seat, before grabbing the paper

“You’ve been actin might strange, today,” Applejack pointed out “You’re not your usual self.”

“That’s an interesting poem you have there,” Fluttershy commented, reading over Dash's shoulder

“You need a party to cheer you up,” Pinkie decided “Parties cheer everyone up.”

“Stopitstopitstopit,” Twilight muttered to herself as she plugged her ears

“Just let us know what we can do to help,” Sunset pressed

“ENOUGH,” Twilight yelled “Just leave me alone! You wouldn’t understand!”

“Help us understand than, darling,” Rarity added

“I’d guess it has something to do with what you wrote,” Pinkie deuced, wearing a detective’s hat “Something about spikes!”

“I’ve been in your shoes,” AJ offered “If you need a shoulder to cry on, I’m here for you.”

“It’s…it’s,” Twilight started, before choking up

“We’ve gotten the first part,” Rarity pointed out

Instead of an answer; Twilight pushed past the others and any unfortunate students in her way and raced out of the room and towards the bathroom.

“Omon meed eek ogur” Dash said through a mouthful of food

“She’s speaking in tongues,” Pinkie yelled “We need an exorcism quick! We’ll save you Dashie!”

“I said,” Dash restarted, after swallowing “Someone needs to go and check on Twilight.”

Inside the bathroom; Twilight barricaded herself in a stall as the tears came flooding out. The more she attempted to repress the memories; the more forceful they emerged into her consciousness.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered “I’m sorry.”

Applejack left from the group and headed towards the bathroom before trying to enter as quietly as possible. With the loud sobbing echoing around the interior; she’d definitely found their missing friend.

“Twi,” AJ started in a low voice “Can I talk to you?”

The sound of the stall being unlocked was heard as Twilight emerged with her shirt rumpled with wet patches on the arms and newly bloodshot eyes. AJ just handed over a few paper towels to help clean her up.

“It’s something I’ve never told anyone,” Twilight started in a slightly raspy voice

“You lost someone close to you,” AJ simplified as Twilight could only nod in response “My parents died when I was a little girl. Granny never told us what happened; except that they never got to their destination.”

“Sorry.”

“Later found out they were hit by a drunk driver coming from the same party that left early.”

“My brother died last year on this date.”

“Sorry to hear,” AJ said, gently wrapping her in a hug “What happened; if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I can’t,” Twilight replied “It’s my fault.”

“If; or whenever you feel up to talking about it; just know that I’ll be there.”

“Thanks, AJ.”

“Come on. Let’s get back to the lunchroom,” AJ offered

“I could probably use something right now.”

To their surprise; in the time they’d been gone, everyone had left to go home except for their friends. Granny Smith emerged from the kitchen with a plate of food.

“Since you didn’t get to eat; and from what your friends told me; I thought you could use this,” Granny said

“Thank you; and I’m sorry.”

“Shoot; no apologies necessary,” Granny corrected

“We’ll be here if you need to talk about it,” Fluttershy said

“And a party can happen when you’re ready,” Pinkie chimed in

“It wasn’t our place to force you to tell us,” Rarity pointed out

“We should have waited until you want to talk,” Sunset added

Each of the girls turned towards Rainbow Dash; expecting her to add some kind of apology to the mix.

“You’ll talk when you’re ready,” Dash said “We just need to wait in the meantime.”

“Thank you again for the salad,” Twilight said, changing the subject

After she finished lunch; Rarity was happy to retrieve a new shirt from her locker for Twilight to change into before they walked out the front together.

“Sorry we’re running late,” Night Light offered “A few things came up.”

“No problem,” Twilight countered “Same on my end.”

Shining jumped out the driver’s side passenger section and ran around to help his sister inside the vehicle. Before getting in; he set her backpack in the trunk.

“See you later,” Twilight called as her dad took off

Needing to rest after having a slight headache; Twilight closed her eyes in an attempt to take a nap. Unfortunately for her; memories from the event started to slip into focus as she had to shake her head in the hopes of temporarily getting rid of them.

After a drive lasting ten minutes; but feeling like an eternity to Twilight; Night Light finally approached the front gate to The Beyond cemetery. Located in a section known as ‘Innocence’ was where they needed to go. After parking in front of the nearby curb; Velvet was the first out and retrieved a bag from the trunk that contained a dozen roses.

“Why don’t you take it,” Velvet offered, handing them to Twilight, who wordlessly accepted

Towards the back wall was their final destination beside a tree that had been planted at the same time. Situated in the earth was a grave marker that read:

Spike Sparkle
Loving Brother and Son
2003-2016
May you run free in Elysium

Twilight knelt down to place the flowers in the attached vase; before she broke down in tears as her head rested on the marker.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! This was all my fault!”

Shining sat on the grass next to her and gently pulled her upright as their parents sat down on either side of them.

“Twily; this wasn’t your fault,” Shining offered reassuringly “You had no idea that was going to happen.”

“I should have been more careful,” she argued

“Goodbye, son,” Night Light said “I’m sorry you were taken too soon.”

“My little gemstone was taken before he could polish,” Velvet added “We’ll love you and miss you.”

Incident

Situated in the back of the Sparkle's house was a large domed metal shed that was used as an exterior laboratory for Twilight to conduct experiments in. Hooked up to it was a generator to maintain a constant clean room and eliminate any odors that might have been caused. Unfortunately; the generator had been aging and needed regular maintenance to keep active.

“Not now,” Twilight whined

In front of her were plain bottles with various chemicals that were intended for her latest experiment. Instead of a standard label on them; a simple colored sticker was used as a code that only she could know. A series of bangs resonating from the generator signified it was going out. With nothing left to do; she put the bottles aside and planned to head inside to inform her dad and get his tools to get the generator restarted.

“I really need to start leaving those blasted tools here. It’ll save me from wasting time.”

In the process of Twilight leaving the ‘lab'; her thirteen year old little brother, Spike decided to slip inside and see what she was working on. For some projects that required additional assistance; he was given the role of gofor and told to take detailed notes of everything that was going on.

“What’s it this time,” he thought

“That’s different,” he said in a low voice “What’s in these?”

Picking up one of the containers; its contents were poured into a nearby glass tube, filling it halfway up.

“Thanks dad,” she called “I’ll let you know when I get done.”

“Spike,” she yelled, into a closed door “What are you doing!?”

Hearing her approach startled him as he reached for a second bottle, and grabbed an entirely different one instead. Unfortunately for him, this mistake was about to become disastrous as the two chemicals started to blend together, causing a gas to form.

With the generator currently out of commission; there was no way of pumping out the gas; and the front door had been made to be seal the user inside. Seeing the gas start to emerge; Spike dropped the vial as it turned into solid gas as Twilight ran inside to get her parents and older brother.

“What happened,” Velvet demanded

“I left to go inside and he must have snuck in,” Twilight said quickly

“It’s about to get worse,” Shining said grimly “Gas.”

“Let me in. I have to go,” Twilight pleaded

“Without the generator, the gas can’t be removed and you don’t have a hazmat suit to enter with,” Night Light cautioned

“I’m just supposed to sit here and do nothing!?”

Inside the room; Spike was able to take a look out a nearby window to see his family outside. The gas had quickly started to fill up the room; causing him to start to cough and not see clearly. In this temporary daze; he tried to walk towards the door, but became too disoriented to do so. Whatever he unintentionally mixed had started to further cut off his oxygen as he laid on the floor, on Death’s doorstep.

“Can’t we do anything,” Twilight begged

“Call 911 and tell them it’s a hazardous situation,” Velvet directed

Shining yanked out and phone and punched in the required numbers “I need emergency assistance to the Sparkle residence. Hazardous materials were spilled in the backyard laboratory.”

Nearly ten minutes later; a series of emergency vehicles consisting of half a dozen police cars and an ambulance arrived and were directed to the back. Two firefighters wearing full gear had to break through the safety door as the gas started to dissipate. Once clear; paramedics were able to get a stretcher and collect the now deceased body of Spike.

“My poor baby,” Velvet choked

“This is my fault,” Twilight whispered

“We need get a statement as to what happened,” an incoming officer stated

“This was my fault,” Twilight admitted as the officer started reaching for his handcuffs

“Is that a confession to murder,” the officer asked

“Not like that,” she corrected “I had cleaning products ready in case of spills. When the generator went out; I went to get my dad’s tools when my brother must have entered. For whatever reason, he must have mixed something that was dangerous.”

“She isn’t going to be arrested, right,” Night Light demanded

“An investigation will have to be done along with an autopsy,” the officer explained

Once dismissed from further questioning; Twilight immediately retreated to her room and locked the door. She couldn’t believe what happened and found herself crying into her pillow. Despite any potential recourse from her daughter’s principal, Abacus Cinch; Velvet called the school and notified them that Twilight would not be returning due to private matters that transpired.

Three days later; the final report from the police concluded Spike died of accidental poisoning. The next day the family had a simple ceremony at the cemetery to bury him. Upon their return home, Twilight headed into the lab and grabbed a trashcan and started tossing the bottles of cleaning products inside.

“This is trash,” she muttered “These need to be destroyed…”

With that; she wrapped her arm against a series of glass flasks and threw them to the ground at the same time, resulting in a pile of glass forming. She bent over and grabbed one of the bigger shards and placed that on the table in front of her.

“There’s one last mistake that needs to be fixed.”

Swallowing any fear she might have had; Twilight placed her right arm on the table and held the broken edge to her wrist and drew it across slightly. A small red scratch was starting to form as the shard continued it path.

“Twilight Athena Sparkle,” her mother yelled from the doorway “What do you think you’re doing!?”

“Fixing a big mistake,” Twilight answered, trying to hold back tears “I’d gladly give up my life to fix this.”

“You are not a mistake,” Velvet stated “What do you think your father or brother would do if they heard you killed yourself?”

“This was my fault,” Twilight argued “I need to be punished.”

“Twily; you don’t need to do this,” Shining warned “It’s no one’s fault what happened.”

You didn’t leave the chemicals out! I did! This was my fault!”

“Considering what happened; maybe it’s best we get you to a psychiatrist,” Light offered “But first; let’s get this mess cleaned up and Velvet can clean your wrist.”

“Perhaps we should wait,” Velvet argued

That evening after dinner; the family started watching a movie that had a scene in which a gas canister was used and Twilight started to become pale. She ended up immediately running to the bathroom and threw up. Not thinking much about it; another event happened with her starting to sweat profusely during a war documentary and it was then her parents decided to call a psychiatrist.

“Unfortunately, from what I’ve heard; you might be suffering from PTSD,” Chrysalis diagnosed “My suggestion is to eliminate anything that could trigger another bout. I’d also recommend taking medication to help alleviate symptoms.”

“There is another school we can enroll you in,” Light offered “Your room could also redesigned for just you.”

Taking Chrysalis's advice; the divider was removed from the room and her late brother’s possessions were boxed up and stored in the shed. Despite the thorough cleaning; Twilight could not move anything in the room to the newly created space. They were lucky that the school semester was almost over as Velvet planned to change schools to nearby Canterlot High.

Despite her making friends with six others; she kept much of her personal life to herself, to prevent them from abandoning her if they knew the truth about what happened that day.