“Get back here, you faggots!”
A unicorn and an earth pony panted frantically as they galloped away from two griffons and a dragon bellowing threats and insults as they chased the young couple through the changeling hive. The two ponies couldn’t believe what had just happened; wasn’t the hive supposed to be one of the kindest and most inclusive places in the world? One would think King Thorax would have implemented measures to keep hatred at bay! What had gone wrong?
Such stray thoughts flashed in their minds as they attempted to think of a way to lose their pursuers. Neither colt was especially good at fighting, and even if they were, how would they stand a chance against two fully-grown griffons and a dragon twice the size of the said griffons? They had sharp claws and beaks and talons, and could fly, and the dragon breathed fire, for Celestia’s sake! How were two teenage ponies supposed to deal with that?!
The earth pony risked a glance behind him, but he’d picked a bad moment to do so; his foreleg met with a tangle of overgrown vines lying on the ground and he tumbled forward, getting wrapped up in more vines in the process.
“Crescendo!” The unicorn skidded to a halt as he realized what had happened and rushed back to help his crush.
“Get out of here!” Crescendo urged him, but it was too late. The trio had already caught up with them.
The unicorn lit up his untrained horn and created a feeble shield between themselves and their pursuers.
“Leave us alone, you- Aaaah!”
The shield crumbled under the dragon’s firebreath, and the unicorn fell on his rump as a wave of pain shot from his horn and spread throughout his head.
The griffons snarled at the ponies’ wide-eyed faces and the dragon opened his mouth to throw more insults, but never got around to it.
“You three stinkbags couldn’t find one of your own size to pester?” a dark green changeling growled as he put himself between the pursuers and their prey.
The dragon smirked.
“Looks like we just did,” he taunted the newcomer and blew fire in his face.
But the firebreath never reached Pharynx’s face; even if the leader of the Hive’s defense forces hadn’t anticipated such a move, his reflexes were sharp and would have easily compensated. As it was, he’d dodged the deadly flame in such a way that he was now in perfect position to tackle the dragon and his two henchbirds simultaneously, which he did before the dragon could realize what had transpired. The griffons had seen it coming but were too slow to launch any kind of counterattack or even to attempt to dodge the blow.
In no time, the fight raised plenty of dust that all but obscured its participants from view, but the blasts of changeling magic, a stray firebreath, and a cacophony of screeches and hisses and growls and what sounded like a quick succession of high-velocity impacts left little to imagination.
The colts stared breathless, unaware of the rapidly-approaching hoofsteps.
“What is going on here?!” the newcomer gasped. “Where’s Pharynx?”
The commotion ended abruptly. Pharynx stood there unscathed, buzzing his wings to dispel the cloud of dust; the dragon was wobbling in circles with a black eye and a few broken spines on his back, one griffon was lying trussed up tightly with his own tail, and the other needed a moment to shake himself into focus enough to start picking up his feathers off the ground.
“Right here, bro,” the warrior said. “Taking the trash out for you.”
“Didn’t we say you were going to take it easy on people?”
“This is me taking it easy on people!”
“It’s alright, Your Highness,” Crescendo interjected as the unicorn was getting the vines off him. “He was protecting us. Thank you, Mr Pharynx!”
“Call me ‘mister’ again and you’ll be next!” Pharynx growled under his breath. “You guys could really use a self-defense instructor.”
“Uh, well… maybe, but we don’t really like to fight,” the unicorn replied.
“You like dying better?”
“I think he’s right, Northy,” Crescendo said. “If this is going to become an everyday occurrence-”
“Not on my watch!” Pharynx protested, looking daggers at the three delinquents, who were still attempting to recover from the ordeal.
“About that. What happened?” the king asked. “And do call me Thorax, okay? I’m not comfortable with all that ‘Your Highness’ stuff. Please?”
“Okay, Your- um, I mean Thorax,” Crescendo started. “Northern Star and I were kissing in the park, and these three showed up out of nowhere and started yelling at us and threatening to kill us…”
“...and we ran, but they caught up with us…” Northern continued, “...and Pharynx came to our defense and… well, you know the rest.”
“Is it true?” Thorax’s voice seeped with resentment as he addressed the bullies.
“Hey, if you don’t care about having this rot in your land, that’s your problem,” the fleeced griffon shot back. “But we won’t stand for it in our neighborhood. Gotta purge the trash, I say.”
“The ‘rotten trash’ being what exactly?”
The griffon rolled his eyes. “Two colts kissing! Is that normal to you? A male shouldn’t be involved with another male like that! The very idea is sick!”
“Well congratulations for choosing to live in the land ruled by a male who likes males then,” Pharynx growled. “Great job! Are you gonna try to purge him too?”
“What?!” the three gasped in unison.
“You heard me.”
“Ahem,” Thorax interjected. “You guys said something about purging the trash? I think I have just what you need. Come with me.”
They hesitated, but Pharynx’s scowl convinced them it was better to obey if they valued their lives. The ponies shrugged to each other and decided to tag along.
Thorax led them through a series of hallways deeper into the hive until they reached a chamber with a drone inside, engrossed in arranging a roster. He went in first, and Pharynx let the others come in, then positioned himself at the entrance, or exit from the bullies’ point of view.
“Good afternoon, Proboscis,” Thorax said upon entering. “I hope we’re not interrupting?”
Proboscis dropped what she was doing and took a look at the group.
“Hello, Thorax,” she said. “How can I help you?”
“Remember a few days ago when I came to ask if you could spare some staff to help with preparations for the Festival of Love and you said sure, there were plenty to choose from, how many did I need?”
“Yes, what about it?” There was a hint of hesitation in her voice.
“I just overheard Scarab complain to Coxa about how the maintenance department is understaffed and everyling’s been overworked for months, especially now that the Festival is approaching. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Well, um…”
“Proboscis, I know you used to give me a hard time in the old days, but didn’t we agree to put that behind us and move on?”
“...yes…”
“That includes telling me if something is wrong. Come on, I’m listening.”
Proboscis sighed. “No offense, Thorax, but not many drones wake up one day and say, ‘I want to be a janitor, it’s such a great job!’, especially since you’ve introduced so many better ways to spend one’s life! At least Chrysalis used to punish lazy soldiers by forcing them to clean the hive, but you’ve put an end to that too! Suppose I did come to you about the shortage of staff; what would you have done?”
“Believe it or not, I actually found a solution of sorts while coming here to discuss the problem. I’m not sure if it’ll solve it, but it might provide some relief.” He motioned for the griffons and dragon to step forward. “Here they are. They attacked two ponies who were kissing, and when I asked them to explain, they said something about needing to purge the trash from the world.”
A smirk reminiscent of the Old Days rose on Proboscis’ lips.
“Way ahead of you,” she said, disappeared into the adjacent chamber, and returned carrying buckets, mops, sponges, cleaning solvents, and the rest of the contingent, then passed it all to the three squirming troublemakers and exchanged a knowing glance with Thorax and his snickering brother.
“The bathrooms in the hotel section of the hive are in desperate need of a thorough scrubbing,” she commanded. “Work shifts start at seven in the morning and end when you’re done.”
“Aw come on!” the now-untrussed griffon protested.
“I think one year should be enough to teach them what trash is and what isn’t,” Thorax said, then turned to the new janitors. “But if we hear anyone complain about you, I’ll take it as a sign that you need more time to learn, so each complaint will extend your lessons by one month, and I mean one month for all three of you regardless of who messed up. That should motivate you to encourage each other to learn faster. Will that do, Proboscis?”
“It’s perfect. By the way, does it count if I file a complaint for them grumbling like that?”
“I don’t see why not,” he replied. “It should give us more time to get you more staff, at the very least.”
“Hey Thorax,” Pharynx interjected, “from what I’ve seen of them, they have enough energy to do the job faster than the rest of the janitors I’ve come across.”
“So?”
“I think the overworked janitors deserve to get a couple of days off to enjoy the Festival of Love while these three take over for them. They were pretty desperate to purge the place clean, if you’ll remember.”
Thorax couldn’t help but laugh. “You know, I think I should start listening to your advice more often! Crescendo, Northern, the Festival is on Saturday. Would you like to be the guests of honor?”
“Would we!” they exclaimed in unison. Crescendo added, “Is that what all the rainbow-colored flags and garlands are for?”
“Yes,” Thorax said as the group left Proboscis’ office and the three seething misfits. “It’s meant to celebrate all kinds of love: familial, friendly, romantic in every flavor, you name it, and also to promote self-acceptance and appreciation of all creatures. It was Ocellus’ graduation project - she’s a student in Queen Twilight’s School of Friendship in Ponyville - and I admit I’m a little ashamed I didn’t think of such a thing personally! The world needs such manifestations now that societies are getting mixed and different cultures and sets of values are coming in contact more than ever before! Some ideals are bound to clash, but it’s important to encourage everycreature to appreciate diversity. Not every culture finds it acceptable, for example, for two individuals of the same gender to be romantically involved, or for an individual with the body of one sex to wish for a body of the opposite sex, or such things. Ponies see no problem with it, and neither do changelings, but I didn’t expect those griffons and dragon to display their discomfort with the idea so violently even though I knew their cultures are more… um, restrictive… than some others. My own experience has been better than yours so far.”
“I see,” Northern mused. “But wouldn’t they benefit from participating in the festival too in that case?”
“They’d only cause trouble, kid,” Pharynx interjected. “We don’t want excesses! My troops and I can handle them, but that’s not the point; the point is that we shouldn’t have to! Those three fleabags would do better to wait until next year, or the year after that if they turn out to be especially stubborn.”
“So the festival will be a recurring thing?”
“We hope so!” Thorax said. “There can never be too much love and kindness in the world, and it’s never too late to celebrate it.”
“Good point. Um, Pharynx…”
“Yes?”
“Do you really think those guys will turn themselves around?”
“Scrubbing latrines gives you plenty of time to think. I’m not sure about the dragon, but the two griffons will probably come to terms with themselves and realize they have more in common with the two of you than they want to admit.”
Crescendo’s jaw dropped. “You’re not saying-”
“They wouldn’t be the first ones to bash others for what they can’t stand in themselves.”
“But… but how did you-”
“How did I know?” Pharynx snorted. “I’m a changeling, kid. I eat love. That there was a proper feast, and I’m not even including you two!”
The Festival was a tremendous success. Creatures from all over the world had flocked to the Changeling Empire to take part in the celebration, Thorax and Ocellus had held a speech worthy of the deafening applause it had received and of the history books that were to be written about the big day, and Pinkie Pie’s cakes had vanished in record time. The crowd couldn’t get enough of Rara and Songbird Serenade’s heartfelt yet invigorating songs, and the hippogriffs’ aerial acrobatics, Yakyakistani orchestra, and the Kirins’ fire dance fared no worse. The unlikely griffon-dragon duo’s satire show was looking to be just as well-received.
Only a few guests noticed three grumpy creatures washing the dessert plates in the background.
“Are those Gus and Garret?” Gallus exclaimed at some point. “How did they get to work here?”
“You know them?” Spike asked.
“Yeah, they’re the nastiest pests I’ve ever known in Griffonstone. Or were. How did they end up here of all places?”
“I dunno, but Thorax mentioned some bullies - two griffons and a dragon - who attacked a couple of colts and got put on janitor duty as a disciplinary measure. Maybe that’s them?”
“Wouldn’t surprise me. But where’s the dragon?”
“Isn’t he over there?” Spike pointed to a third figure a little away, carrying more dirty plates.
“Hey guys, what’s up?” Ember said landing next to them, munching on a clafwul of gems, then squinted to where Spike was pointing. “Hold on, is that Arson?”
“Who’s Arson?” Spike asked and helped himself to an emerald from Ember’s claw.
“Eh, he’s not worth your time. I kicked him out of the Dragon Lands because he wouldn’t stop beating up the hatchlings and I ran out of ideas on how to punish him. Even the other dragons had enough of him, and that’s saying something! I’m glad that’s one trouble off my back, but what’s he doing here? Last I heard, he was in Griffonstone!”
“Well, that explains how he met your guys, Gallus,” Spike said. “They must have gotten bored over there and decided to move to the hive for some fresh victims. I hear Pharynx put them in their place!”
“Can’t say I’m sorry,” Gallus shrugged. “Don’t tell Headmare Starlight. I’d rather not get expelled a week before graduation!”
Ember snorted. “I’ll sort her out if she does it. Serves them right!”
Neither of the three paid attention to two ponies strolling by.
“Nice to see some griffons and dragons acting friendly,” Northern remarked to Crescendo as he looked on the nearby group.
“Yeah, makes me hopeful that what happened the other day will be an exception,” Crescendo sighed happily. “Though maybe it’s the whole spirit of the Festival.”
“It’s glorious, isn’t it? This unity… Ocellus put it wonderfully in her speech: ‘Each and every one of us shines like a color of the rainbow, but just like the beautiful rainbow couldn’t exist without the entire infinity of colors, we too need one another to shine away the darkness such as the one that nearly destroyed us all not that long ago; we need this unity, this mutual spirit, to keep the world alive, and no one’s light is less worthy than another’s.’”
“Yeah… no better way to say it… she really did pick a perfect symbol for the Festival…”
A drone passed by carrying a tray of apple juice, and each colt took a glass. They looked up at the evening sky, where the Wonderbolts were continuing their performance. One of the Wonderbolts flew ahead of the others, faster and faster, then looped back, passed through the elaborately-spinning circle that the others had formed around the setting sun, and soon after, at the exact moment as the sun disappeared behind the horizon, her trail exploded into a mesmerizing rainbow-hued circle expanding through every corner of the sky.
“Whoa,” Crescendo gasped.
“She’s breathtaking, isn’t she?” Northern whispered in awe. “They say she’ll be the next Captain of the Wonderbolts…”
“I heard she’s getting married next week,” Crescendo added. “And I heard this apple juice came from the orchard of her wife-to-be…”
“Let’s drink to them, then, darling, and to us.”
They clinked their glasses together and kissed.
“To us!”
