Alternative

by Blue Insomniac

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Profanity, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 6275

A door opens and a lone man enters. The way back is gone and all that's left to do is march forward. Will he break? Or will he fall? Perhaps one should think before they jump. But the choice is gone. No turning back know, let's see what he can do.

A poor choice was made one faithful summer day. A young man finds what many would call a miracle of science, a portal, a gateway, a bloody wormhole. No matter what you call it, the fact was that a young man found it.

"A hand wouldn't hurt." The dumbfounded man said. "Just one hand, then I'll leave."

Like a fool he reached out and touched the cursed thing. And much like a fly to a trap, there was no hope for escape. The portal warped and stretched the second the young man dare touch it. And with a final startled scream the young man forever vanished from whence he came.

I am that foolish young man, I am the one who dare mess with forces far to large for me to comprehend, and I am the one who was forever sealed from going back to whence I came. With nothing more than a bag to my name, I walked forward with no way back.

My name is Status Quo, and here I stand.

Alone.

Hello.

I live, if a bit glum. No promises I will continue with this, but the idea wouldn't leave my head. So here we are.

Enjoy!

- Blue Insomniac

Published 2021-10-28 15:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-10-28 15:20:01 UTC

1.1 The End... Is Just The Beginning

"So that's one property near the edge of the Everfree forest. Will you be the only occupant?" The mare stared at me with a questioning glance as I picked up an old fashioned quill from her desk.

"Yup. Nopony but me."

"You do realize that what you want hasn't be occupied by anypony else for a very long time?" Was said by her as I signed my signature with my abysmal hoof writing.

I couldn't help but chuckle. "You know, the real estate pony said the exact same thing."

The mare nodded approvingly as she took the newly signed paperwork. "I sure hoped she did, it's not everyday when somepony wants to live by the Everfree." She stood up from behind her desk. "Never mind wanting to live there alone."

I watched her as she trotted near some weathered filing cabinets. She expertly opens and stores the signed paperwork with practiced ease. With her back turned to me she asked, "So what brought you out here Mr...?" She trailed off.

"Status, Status Quo that is."

"Mr. Status Quo." She finished her earlier sentence.

I shifted in my seat a bit before answering her question. "And what brought me out here was mostly just me looking for someplace to live. Heard through the grape vine that this place was a calm and quiet place. So I took it upon myself to check it out, and suffice to say those rumors were true."

The mare smiled at my comment to her home as she turned around while a key dangled from her mouth. She dispensed the key on to the table as she spun around once again to grab something from behind her. "Well, I'm glad somepony enjoys those qualities in a town. And believe me this place is nothing but peaceful and quiet." She huffed as she pulled out what appeared a single piece of paper.

"Here you are Mr. Status Quo, one house deed for you." I smiled as I took it from her hoof.

"Bah, none of that mister nonsense. Quo is just fine ma'am." I said as I stuffed the deed and metal key into the tattered, patchwork mess I called my saddlebags.

She laughed good naturedly as she watched. "Well then Quo, just Mayor Mare would do for me as well. The whole ma'am thing makes me feel old."

"Alright then, thank you for all the help ma- er, Mayor Mare." I turned to walk out before I remembered something important.

"Oh right, before I forget," I spun around as I looked back at the helpful mare. "When's the first payment due?"

In lieu of response she simply looked at the calendar on the right side of the room before answering. "It will be due by the eleventh, so about two weeks from now."

I let out an 'ah' as I turned around once again.

From behind me I heard her call out to me. "Oh, and before I forget. If you see a pink mare gasp from behind you pay it no mind. Her name is Pinkie Pie and she gets excited when meeting somepony new."

I glanced back. "Anything I need to worry about?" I asked jokingly.

She 'hm-ed' in response before saying, "Other than a welcome party from her. Not much I'm afraid."

Huh, "Cool." I said. "I'll look forward to it."

She smiled. "You better, she's Ponyville's number one party pony." She then went back to sit behind her desk. "Her parties are to die for."

"I'll keep it in mind. Oh, and thank you for all the help Mayor Mare." As I walked out of the office I heard a distant 'you're welcome' from behind me.

As the door closed behind me I let my half formed smile fall from my face. Almost instantly I felt all the stress and sadness that has been plaguing me ever since I got here rush back into me all at once.

Ha. Mayor Mare, what a joke. What kinda name is that anyway, and how can anyone be that happy while being a fucking mayor of all things? At least she didn't pester me about why I wanted to be near the Everfree like that stupid real estate agent did.

The sounds of my hooves filled the silence as I walk on towards my new home. The soothing rhythm of my hooves hitting the stone path relaxing the building headache in my mind, only being interrupted by me catching myself almost tripping on my own feet.

Goddammit, almost three months of being a stupid pony and I still couldn't walk reliably to save my life. Having to constantly think about how I walk just to make sure I wouldn't crash into somepon- somebody was just simply infuriating. It felt as though I was a stupid little kid again, not knowing what I was doing or if I had said something wrong. It racked me something fierce.

A tiny frown graced my features as I slowly thought back to the three months I had spent in 'Equestria'. Feelings of sorrow and shame danced around in my mind as I remembered the many incidences that plagued my early days in this godforsaken place.

The first few minutes of just simply panicking and not knowing what had just happened to me. The hours of relearning how to walk and do basic motions with my unwanted new body. The regret of ever touching that fucking portal that got me into this mess in the first place.

I let out a sigh as my mind continued to recall everything that had happened these last three months. I couldn't even remember how I managed to get into civilization. Or how I felt when I first saw the dominant species on this new world.
Nor express how small I felt when I truly realized how God fucking damned far away I was from home.

I cried myself to sleep a lot in the first month. It didn't happen much now but I prefered not to think about how much I lost due to my idiotic mistake back at the portal. It didn't help anypon- Anyone. It didn't help anyone for me to mope about what had happened.

I sighed once again as I couldn't help but remember my state of distress at that time. I was barely even able to function those first two months, hardly being able to feed myself and sleeping near dumpsters or in the odd homeless shelter or two. While at the same time working for chump change at whatever place I was able to get work in with no ID.

That was a hellish time for me. And one I'd rather forget. Nevermind the fact I kept wasting what little money I had on books about interdimensional travel. Like I would be able to get myself back home or anything. What a joke.

I was better off saving what I could and getting the hell out of dodge, or at least being financially stable enough to be able to pursue such an impossible goal. But hindsight was twenty twenty and all that nonsense, the point was I wised up near the end of the second month and started doing the smart thing.

Just had to give up all hope of going home was all. Simple as that really. No biggie.

I'm just glad my past self's illusion of being able to go back home was broken when it did. I could remember my thought process that day. 'It seemed so obvious!' I thought when my past self walked up to a magical institution in Manehattan. "Just ask the magic ponies to fix everything. Duh!"

I remember the exact moment my hopes were shattered into a million pieces never to be fixed again. I had just entered when I saw a sign about a free lecture that was being held in the general auditorium. The sign said 'Parallel words and you. The ultimate guide on how you are not alone!' with the bottom text reading 'All are welcome!' in big cheery text.

When I had entered the auditorium it was mostly full, the many seats laid out occupied by mostly unicorns with some pegasus scattered in the sea of horns.

I was the only earth pony in attendance.

The professor then walked in and gave his greetings, then the lecture started proper. I couldn't really remember what most of it was about if I was to be honest, something about multiverse theory and all that funk. It's not like I was from a different reality or anything. Plus, the internet seemed obsessed with that theory. It was very much prevalent in all matter of fiction and 'scientific' discussion in the many forums I frequented.

It was to the point that I felt safe enough to ignore it till they got to the part I was interested in.

Eventually the professor started talking about the infinite dimensions that could be in existence and the possibility of being able to travel to them. I clearly remember my alien ears flicking in interest, the way my heart and breathing quickened to the point that I was worried the others in attendance would notice something was amiss.

Then I heard the words that shattered any hope of me going home.

"...We know from credible sources such as the magical logs from Starswirl the Bearded that other dimensions do exist, yet at the same time. Our dimension does not with others." Murmurs broke out from all around the auditorium as the many in attendance discussed what the professor had said.

The old stallion cleared his throat and continued to speak to his audience. "I'm sure many of you are confused on what I had said, so let me rephrase that. As many of you have learned throughout this lecture there are near infinite parallel universes side by side from our own. Each created when somepony makes a choice or decision. Much like our example of one pony going to the store, while in a different universe they stayed home. When I say that those parallel universes exist, yet ours does not to them, I mean that since our original universe created them so to speak. They will be able to see every other possibility expect the one that was actually done." More murmurs pinged around the room as the occupants digested the new information.

I could remember the sinking feeling crawling around in my gut as I started to understand what the stallion was explaining. I nearly raised my hoof to ask a question, but someone else beat me to it. "Excuse me, professor. But if one universe created another, wouldn't that mean there exists a universe of which stems every other alternative universe?" A unicorn asked from two rows down from where I sat.

The professor looked at the pony that asked the question and seemed to ponder it. Eventually he gave them an answer. "Well young colt, it surely seems possible. And with what we know it is a very much distinct possibility. But while I would love to give an answer to your question it falls into a much separate theory and not part of the current discussion." He paused at the slightly disappointed face of the pony. "However there is another lecture in a few weeks time that will focus on how things came to be and how our existence may indeed be like what you described. Feel free to come by."

The professor cleared his throat once again and continued where he left off. "Before that little tangent took us a bit off course. As I said previously one parallel universe exists with each choice or decision one makes, yet those universes that are created will never know which alternative universe was the original choice."

The unpleasant feeling in my gut grew and grew until I couldn't take it anymore. Finally risking sounding out of place, I raised my hoof once again into the sky to ask a question. "Yes young colt?" Said the professor.

I licked my lips as I bit the bullet. "Uh, professor. So what you're saying is that if one were to be looking for a specific universe, it would be almost impossible to find?" I let me question float in the air before the professor spoke up once again.

"Almost impossible? Aye, you could say that."

I grew confused at his lackluster response. "What do you mean by that professor?"

He looked up at my question yet again. "Well, imagine that somepony walked through a door. In one universe, his head went through first, and in another his foot went first, and in another he never went through at all. All of these universes exist along side each other, yet none will know which was the one that created all of them. To find it one would have to know the exact details of that universe down to the exact number of atoms present at that one moment. And even then you would have to know everything in that one specific universe down to the bone, all of its history, the geography, every single major event, every single minor event, the weather patterns, the exact placement of stars, you would need perfect knowledge of every choice and decision that had ever happened in that universe you were searching for. It is theoretically possible, but not for us. As that would take more time than the entire universe has to even exist in the first place. Good question young colt, but back to what we were talking about." The professor then went back to his lecture, but by that point my mind was long gone.

It would take more time than what the universe has to exist?

You could have just said it was impossible.

Those words haunted me up till this point. What would have been worse I wonder, interdimensional travel being fundamentally impossible. Or it being completely possible, but finding the one dimension you want being impossible.

Heh, my home. Forever lost in a sea of fucking infinity.

Taking a deep breath, I let myself soak under the sun for a bit as the many ponies present in Ponyville walked past me. I closed my eyes as I took in the fresh air that all but surrounded me, not a hint of smoke or anything artificial. If there was one thing I could give to Equestria, it was that they haven't polluted the air as much as we did back at home.

Opening my eyes I came face to face with a bright pink mare looking genuinely surprised right in front of me. Her baby blue eyes shining in undisguised joy of seeing someone new.

This must be the Pinkie Pie that Mayor Mare had mentioned. Looking at the colors of her mane and coat, I could definitely say that she lived up to her name.

Before I could even try to say anything I heard her gasp as she jumped higher than what I thought to be possible for this species as she tried to speed away to an unknown location.

I say tried due to me stopping her in her tracks. Her legs doing a surprisingly good impression of a propeller while I held her from her back like one would do with an unruly child. "You're... Pinkie Pie? Correct?" I asked with some struggle.

Pinkie, now just realizing that she was going nowhere fast stopped running like she was in a cartoon and looked back at me with a gargantuan smile. "You know me?!" She not quite screamed at my face.

Placing her down as gently as I could I responded, "I know of you. Yes." I then wiped away what little spit got on my face before continuing. "Mayor Mare told me who you were while I was in there finalizing the purchase of my new home."

"Oh. Then why did you stop me silly, I need to get ready for your welcome party!" She not quite yelled once again.

Ah, this could be a problem. How do I say this without being a jerk? "That's the reason I stopped you from running off. I wanted to tell you that I don't want a welcome party..." I trailed off as I saw the saddest face one could possibly make grace her features.

...

"...Right now! I don't want one right now because... Because I don't have anything yet! I just want to make sure everything is in order before you do that you know?" I finished with a grimace.

The face she was making thankfully stopped being one that could cause depression in even the manliest of men before it turned into one of confusion. "But aren't you moving in? Most ponies bring something with them when they move in! Don't they?" Instead of answering I merely tapped the weathered saddle bags that held every earthly possession I owned.

"There is a reason I chose a property near the Everfree. Don't have much with me I'm afraid."

Pinkie gave a little 'oh' in surprise as she simply nodded. "So..." She trailed off a bit, "When would you like me to set everything up?"

If I was being honest? I just wanted to be left alone for a while. The last three months have been total hell for me and...

...

I took a glance at Pinkie, her face now had a more relaxed smile with perhaps a bit of sympathy mixed in. Her curly hair messy and all over the place, yet framed her face as to signify the joy she would have setting up a party for a complete stranger she just met.

Dammit.

It's just a party, nothing wrong with that. I needed a way to blow off some steam anyway.

I hope I don't regret this. "Any time next week should be fine."

The ever present smile returned to full force on her face as she yelled out a 'yay' before jumping up from her sitting position. "Great! See you next week!" She then ran off while leaving an outline of dust in her exact figure.

Shaking my head I got up and started my journey towards my new 'home' with all the moxy of a dead log. The mask of a half smile leaving my face yet again as I trotted ever closer to my destination.

Guess I should get started with all the furniture I'm gonna need now. With my limited judgement I could tell that the pink one wasn't gonna leave me alone, at least until I get a party. What a joke.

Best get to it then. Stuff needs to get done and I didn't have much time till that first payment is due.

Author's Note

Have a nice day!

- Blue Insomniac

1.2 Day Breaks... Yet The Sun Don't Shine

The days past by quickly while I settled into my new home. Windows needed to be replaced, basic furniture and utilities need to be bought and installed. Plus one memorable moment when I had to evict an entire family of racoons from the attic.

Yeah sure the place was a bit of a fixer upper but it wasn't one of the worse places I've seen. The modest cottage I bought wasn't the best in terms of the looks department, but it had a roof and sturdy walls that kept the cold out. That was good enough for me.

Even then, with what I payed to get this place. It was a lot better than what I was expecting, with how cheap it was I thought it would have been the site of a murder or maybe just in need of serious repairs.

So imagine my surprise that the sole reason that it was that dirt cheap was because of its proximity to the local forest. The first time I heard that I thought that the forest was a suicide hotspot or something (As unlikely of a problem that seemed to be in this new world). Turns out it was because of something way less serious than what I was expecting.

The forest was able to function completely by itself without the need of ponies.

The first time I heard that from my annoying real estate agent I nearly laughed out loud with how seriously she said it. Later on I understood why she took a forest that could actually function as forest so seriously. Literally almost anything weather or nature related the ponies did themselves. Some eye opening examples was how the Pegasus tribe would manipulate clouds to bring in water for the crops. Our how the ponies had to do yearly races to knock down the leaves from trees during the fall.

As such having a forest that could naturally do all these things was seen as strange and alien.

Idiotic is what I would call that. But it did attract me to location even further then what the cheap price could. Having a small reminder of home near me put my mind at ease after everything I've been through.

After nearly a week of renovations and upkeep, I could finally say I was ready to live in my new home. The only thing left to do now was make sure I was able to stay here. The first payment for this place was coming up pretty quick and I needed a way to make some cash.

Truth is back at home I wasn't really good at much stuff, yeah I did the regular things like retail and restocking shelves and such. But never something one might call an actual career, not that I really could at the time as I was still in college working for a degree that didn't even matter anymore. Yet the need to make a living for myself existed in this world as well.

Go figure.

Back at Manehattan where I had first woke up, the only thing I could do was odd jobs as I didn't have an ID nor any papers that could show my qualifications. That was different now however as I had... Acquired these papers through slightly under handed means. Nothing truly illegal I hope, but I did need some help to flub some questions in order to get those papers.

Questions such as 'where were you born?' and 'who were your parents?'.

I had been tempted to get a fake diploma and try to get a higher paying job that way. But I was already taking a huge risk by dodging those questions in the first place, how would I explain a diploma from a school that never even existed?

Plus, this world has magic. Who's to say one of the unicorns could wave their horn around and discover my deception. No better to keep my forgery as simple as possible and work my way up from there.

Unfortunately that means only being able to get bottom of the barrel work. Not unless pe -ponies took pity on the guy who was at most 'self-taught'.

Not the best of situations, but it could have been worse. Just have to start from the bottom and work my way to the top.

No biggie.

Of course, to find work I had to walk into town again. Not that I didn't like the place or anything but it was a small town, and in small towns most people know almost everyone who lives there. What this meant was that I would most likely be gossiped about, or be bombarded by questions from nosy neighbors.

As expected, I wasn't really looking forward to walking into town. However, I also had another reason.

Yesterday around late evening, I recalled the conversation I had with Pinkie Pie, and how I agreed to let her throw me a party. Specifically I remembered when I told her that 'anytime next week' was good.

Now I haven't truly known her for long but from what brief glimpses that I could recall of her personality in the short conversation we had. I would reasonably assume that she was the type to throw surprise parties. Now that it was next week, Pinkie Pie was most likely planning a surprise party for me sometime in the near future.

I wasn't really against this of course as the party had been partly my idea. However, a surprise party meant that it would be a surprise. And I rather know fully in advance when something would be happening. I didn't want to be caught in a bad time and reveal more about myself than what I felt comfortable with in a moment of weakness.

Even if this party was meant in good faith, I didn't want Pinkie Pie to feel the brunt of my anger and frustration of my situation if I ever did crack. As such in tandem with looking for a job, I was now also fishing for information about Pinkie Pie so I could speak with her about the party preparations. Preferably if we could actually schedule a set date so none of what I feared would happen.

As frustrating as all of this was, it was simply my life now so all I could do was suck it up and get to work.

Getting up from the wooden chair that I was sitting on I grabbed my worn saddle bags in preparation for my day out. Inside them was my joke of a resume, some identification papers, and a snack for the road as money was tight as is. No need to waste more on street food.

"Right then, am I missing anything?" I asked myself rummaging through my saddlebags to see if there was anything I left behind.

"Let's see here..." Keys where here, along with my wallet, and some loose change in case I really needed it. "No, that's everything."

With one last glance around my new home. I took a deep breath and walked towards the door. "Do or die time I guess."

The trip over to town wasn't as long as I was hoping it would be. Though it did give me a little time to calm my nerves, the last time I went through here I was in too much of a mood to really feel any discomfort of being in an unfamiliar place.

In the first few minutes of me entering town it felt as though I was being stared at by dozens of people. As the dirt path beneath my hooves shifted into more solid stone, it felt as though each of my steps was as loud as a bullet.

For a second I thought that everyone would look and stare, although I was proven false a few seconds later as almost no one even bothered to look in my general direction.

"Christ, get a grip will you." I mumbled to myself as I walked further into town.

Well last time I walked through here I was too focused on getting into my new home that I barely took in my surroundings. But now that I could take my time I truly looked around and saw some things that would have made anyone below 12 happy. The town itself was nothing truly special, in fact it looked like something out of a medieval village. With most of the houses having what appeared to be thatch roofs with stone and wood walls, most of them had chimneys sticking out from the back. Although the smoke that came out was white grayish rather than the putrid black I was expecting to see. Oddly enough most of the wood and stone was painted in bright cheerful colors such as white or pink.

Not my first choice of wall decor but that wasn't any of my business.

What truly stood out to me were that some of the buildings were built... In a more unique way. As for one example would be what appear to be a boutique, though it seemed to be stylized after a carousel. I wouldn't have expected this world to have any idea what a carousel was, but it did make for an interesting building design. I couldn't even imagine how frustrating it would have been to work with all the little round corners and such to make that silly thing stable.

The one building in particular that caught my interest was one that looked like it was ripped straight out of Hansel and Gretel. The building itself looked like any other building, except for the fact that it was apparently made out of candy. With the brief look I had at it before I turned away it didn't look like it was made of literal candy although it was stylized to look as seemingly delicious as possible.

I believed it was a place to buy confectioners such as pastries or perhaps a Baker's home, though from what I can tell from the foals that came out the front door it looks to be more of a old school soda joint. A type of family Cafe that would serve almost anything I suppose. Or maybe it was just a local diner, as colorful and cheerful as these ponies are it wouldn't surprise me if all they ate was sugar and ice cream.

However, I wasn't looking for a place to eat. I was looking for a place to work and perhaps ask a couple of ponies to see if they knew where Pinkie Pie was.

As I started to turn away from the gingerbread house, I heard a high-pitched yell coming from behind me.

"Hey! It's you! Mr... uh." Pinkie Pie trailed off as she realized I never told her my name.

"Status Quo." I informed her.

"Right! Status Quo!" She coughed well quickly glancing away to the side. "I knew that."

I chuckled a bit at her antics before I started walking up to her. Meanwhile putting on my usual half smile in preparation to talk to her. "Hey Pinkie, I actually wanted to talk to you. I'm glad we ran into each other like this." Before I could elaborate on what I wanted to ask her she immediately jumped in the air with an excited look on her face. I was half expecting her to start running off in a random direction.

"Oh right! You're welcome to Ponyville party! Don't you worry about a thing! Pinkie Pie has got this all handled, after all I'm Ponyville's number one party pony!"

She even started to tense her legs in preparation to move as she was talking. Luckily I managed to grab her coat before she could gallop off to who knows where. "I actually wanted to ask a few questions about that. Is there a place we could talk a bit more privately?"

"Wow! You're really good doing that! How strong are you mister?" She looked at me with a semi-surprised face with one eyebrow quirked upward as she hung in the air, suspended by my hoof.

"I've done quite a bit of physical labor in my time, so about that place to talk privately?" I asked as I gently put her down on the ground.

"Well... I was on my shift but then I saw you outside through the window so I wanted to say hello but you started to turn away so I sort of jumped over the counter and yelled out a random noise so I can get your attention which I'm glad it did because you really look like you were just going to walk away from Sugarcube Corner and nopony does that without at least looking a little bit hungry but you just turned around like it was nothing and then I wanted to ask about that but then you said hi back once you heard me and I was so happy that you said hello back and..." She rambled as I merely stood there in minor shock. It was incredible how much she could talk without taking a single breath.

I don't know how long I stood there merely letting Pinkie Pie ramble on and on as the ponies all around us merely ignored us as though this was a daily occurrence. "... But then you somehow caught me before I could run off to prepare your welcome to ponyville surprise party and then I asked you how do you keep doing that and then you told me that you do a lot of physical labor and... and..." She finally stopped to let herself take gasps of air.

My half smile was becoming slightly more strained as I watched her take in a few more puffs of air. "You done?"

She held up a single hoof and response as her breathing slowed down into something that could resemble control. "Yeah... -huff- I'm good... -gasp- Whew..." She wiped her brown with her hoof. "Nopony has ever let me talk that long before."

I forced my half-assed smile to be a bit less fake "So about that private talk...?"

Her eyes suddenly lit up and a light bulb appeared over her head. "Oh yeah! Yeah sure I got somewhere we can talk just follow me!" She turned 180 almost instantly and started skipping her way back into the gingerbread house. What did she call it? Sugarcube Corner?

With the invitation as clear as could be from a being known as Pinkie Pie, I followed her into the establishment.

'Jeez, I hope she's not always this energetic.'

When I stepped inside the establishment I was accosted by how aggressively cheerful everything was. The walls at least looked relatively normal being a light beige with the wooden supports giving it a bit of highlight as they were colored pink. There were tables scattered about each having two to three chairs, there was a long counter with a cash register near the end, and behind and within the counter was a myriad of sweets pastries and cake.

Honestly with how everything looks delicious including the building itself that was sorely tempted to use some of my pocket change to at least by one thing for the road. But now that I think about it that's probably why it's designed that way.

"Hey! Mr, Status Quo! Hurry up!" I heard Pinkie Pie say from behind the counter. She was standing in front of an Open door which led to a back room of some sort.

"Sorry, I was just... Distracted by the scenery." I shook my head a bit to get the predatory marketing scheme out of my head. "Lead the way, I'll be right behind you."

She merely laughed and turned to walk into the room, the door was held open by a door stopper shaped like a piece of cut cake.

Quickly making my way around the counter I stepped through the doorway into what appeared to be a storage room of some sort. There was boxes stacked alongside the walls, and shelves filled with more boxes of what I assume to be ingredients. Or perhaps some sort of equipment to make more detail pastries and such.

Pinkie suddenly stopped and turned around to face me. "So what was he wanted to talk about? Oh, oh! Was it about your super duper awesome welcome to ponyville surprise party?!"

She started to bounce in place. "Oh don't you worry I've got it all handled. See when you told me that you wanted to be left alone for at least a week I was a bit sad. But then you said that anytime next week was good."

She started to bounce around in a circle smiling all the while. "So then I thought 'oh what if you just wanted a surprise party.' So then I started making preparations, I even added new confetti to my party cannon!"

The more she expanded upon what she planned to do for my party the more strained my smile became. Clearly, Pinkie Pie took pride in being 'Ponyville's number one party pony'.

However, what I was asking wasn't much so I hoped she wouldn't take it too badly.

"... I also got new colors for my streamers like ruby, lapis lazuli, indigo, scarlett..." Oh she was still talking.

"Pinkie."

"... Did you know they made streamers in sky dolphin baby blue! I sure didn't!"

"Pinkie."

"... I even managed to find my old rainbow foil party hats! I've been looking for those since forever!"

I took a deep breath. "Pinkie Pie!"

That finally got her to stop rambling on about her new party equipment. Taking the time to call myself down with a few breaths, I looked Pinkie Pie in the eye and started talking.

"Listen Pinkie, I appreciate everything that you're doing to make sure my welcome to Ponyville party is as good as it can be but I need to ask you a small favor."

Her eyes wide in a bit at my request. "Oh. Well what is it?"

I had a small grimace while I spoke the words. "Can it... Not be a surprise party?"

Suddenly it felt as though times stood still. Pinkie Pie's face stood frozen like ice, her eyes wide and her pupils like pinpricks. Her body taunt, her muscles straining as the words started to be comprehended in her mind.

Slowly her face turned redder and her hair started to inflate to a noticeable degree. Steam poured from her ears as though someone was making tea in a tea kettle. Finally after it felt as though eons had passed she belted out a single word.

"What!?"

Author's Note

Have a nice day!

-Blue Insomniac