The Badlie Writne and Speld Adenturs of Deepy Hewvs

by FallingTeapots

Rating: everyone
Tags: Tragedy, Random, Comedy
Length: 1381

OHAI GAIZZ!!!!! Its me deepy hewvs an i writ a sory!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i hop u like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hai gaiz its me deepy hewvs an dis my sory of getig a mofin from da redfrigderator an eatn it yum yuum ya i no derp herp derp. feeturing twilit sporkel. ranbow dass. rarety. an flutershi. da chaptrs r rly short cuz i wana keep u reedin.

~

Okay! Have fun figuring out the abomination I have just written here. Awful spelling, yes. Horrible plotline, yes. That's the point! :3
This is my attempt at a trollfic. Read on to find out what the tragedy tag is for. I promise, nothing happens to the Derper.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-18 02:09:54 UTC

Chapter Wun - Da manoovering mofin

Hello, before you start reading, read THIS.The spelling is my attempt at, well, spelling like Derpy Hooves. You know she's a derp, so of COURSE she's going to spell godawful. What I'm trying to do here is think of daily situations for the Derpster and recreate them into words, and continue on to make it incredibly bland. The tragedy tag is there for a reason, but nothing happens to our little Derp. I promise. You'll see if you continue reading this terrible story!  If you get headaches easily, I suggest you don't read. It gave me a bit of one after reading it, my spelling was SO bad! Keep in mind that this is my try at making a trollfic. I hope you like it.

im sittin on da couc watchin televiosn wen i get an ideea. i wanna mofin i thik. i get up an wak to da refridgerdator an ders da mofin. i trie getign it but it slideds awy frm mah hewv an went in da freeza. i opend da freeza an i trie getign it agen. but it flewe out da freza an on tawp o da televiosne an turnd purpal. i finaly gaave up nad went to slep.

MUFFIN

Chapter Two - Twilight's Interruption

Hello. It's me, Twilight Sparkle, student of Princess Celestia. It has come to my attention that Derpy has started writing a story, calling it "The Badlie Writne and Speld Adenturs of Deepy Hewvs". I think it is fucking ridiculous and needs to stop immediately a good chance for her to use her imagination and write. Unfortunately, she is a pretty awful speller and writer. I'm not going to get her to stop, but I suggest you quit reading. I have read over her tale and it is pretty.. what's the word.. retarded.

Uh oh, here comes Derpy. I'll talk to you later!

Chapter Tree - Da epik mofin chais

LEGEND

Purple - Derpy

Pink - Muffin

--

when i wake up i se da mofin on teh flor. i galop aftr it an it keeps movin. i go out da dor and kep chaisin it. it strts flyin an i liek start flyin to. an den were at the sugr cube curner an da mofin tals to me. it sayz:

deepy hewvs ur so dum omg liek y ar ur cutie mrk like a bunc of dum bubblz. i meen dats so dum. u r rly dum. y r u so dum depy hewvs i meen liek u dont evn brake da foorth wal liek i do. com and chais after me u bitch idiot.

an dan i say

y r u so meen

cuz im a sexy mofin

but y r u a sexy mofin!1!!!!!one!!!11!!!!!1

cuz i am y r umad???????!!1

cuz ur a sexy mofin an im not a sexy mofin i wana be a sexy mofin to!!!!eleven!!1!1!!11!1!!onehundredandeleven!!11

no

and he flyin awai an im liek

o no u dont u dum sexy mofin

and den i flie aftr him an ya. de end 4 now stay tund for da nxt chaptr.

Chapter Four - Rainbow's Words (of Awesomeness)

Okay, Derpy is cool and all but her story SUCKS LIKE SHIT. Even Scootaloo can write something. SCOOTALOO. IS. A. BETTER. FUCKING. WRITER. THAN. A. FULL. GROWN. MARE.. Dude, that's sad. That's really sad. I mean, I know I'm the best at everything, but dude, a filly, better than a mare, at writing. I mean I know nopony's good at everything but..

...

RAENBO DASH WAT R U DOIN!!

Oh, not again.. Sorry, that's Derp calling me. Better go, and don't tell anyone what I just said, alright??

Chapter Faiv - Da mofin of nomminess

LEGEND

Purple - Derpy

Cyan - Zecora

Pink - Muffin

--

so da mofin had gotn two da evafre forst. i chaiesd it an managd to go met zecoa. she sed dat i shuld eat it wit peneut butr aftr i get it. an i said ok. but before i leave zeoca says

wait take dis jaar o peenut butr an eat it in dis fursest

an i say

ok zeoca but is it god wit jely to?

no only penut butr

r u sur

ya now go an get dat mofin an maik sur to com back an gimme sum to plz. i wil giv u a mofin to.

ok bi

bi

i c da mofin at a tree an da tre loks skary. i laff at it liek ponkie pi todl me. an da tree smild at me an explodd.

ok an da mofin talkd to me an it said

omg lev me alon u stupid hors

an i sed

omg no ur a sexzy mofin so no i wanna eat u catch u an brin u bak to da refrigerderator so u will be saif an den i can hangge out wit u an we cn be frends u no cuz frendshtip is magik ok

omg ok fin ill come wit u but u hav to kis me firshrst

ok

an den i ckissd him on da mofin lipsp.

an den he sed

ok lets go i prmomsi ill com ok lets go plz lik cuz now omg im a sexy mofin k plz

an den i sed

ok

Chapter Six - Fluttershy's Praise

Um.. Hello.. I'm Fluttershy.. I just read Derpy's story here. I really like it.. Nobody seems to believe me though.. Really, I promise, I love it... Um.. So have you seen the new movie, Ma-

Oh.. Um.. Sorry.. I forgot what we were talking about. I really like Derpy's story..

....

....

....

It's retarded.

Yep! That's totally what I think! Yup! I love it so much, that it's.. uh.. Irresistible! Yeah! Uh, I have, to, uh, to, um, like, uh, feed.. uh.. my bunnies, so, uh, I'll.. uh, be going now.. See you later.

Chapter Shevn - Da mofin

LEGEND

Purple - Derpy

Pink - Muffin

--

ok so i hav da mofin an i druggd it wit chorlorfurm. i throew it intoe mah refreigdergeratore and waitd for it to shtu up so i kuld eat it. den da mofin opaned da refrigeidergeradator. an he sed

omg stop u noob i just wana liek fly aroun an kisss ppl on da lipsp. y dont u uderstan dat. cuz im a mofin wit sehxyness. i meen im rly shexy. i no i am but u r juts bein jellus. i meen srsly. y dont u leev me alon

an i sed

omg y r u so meen i just wana eat u

omg dont eet mey sheyxy mofinness plz im to sexyh for u to jutss eaet me plz dont plz plz plz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!one!!!!!1!1!1

well ok calle me awsum den plz

no u dum hors

ok ill eet u den

omg no plz

calle me awesum den

no

ok ill et u now

omg no

ok fin

da end fo now!!!!!

Chapter Eight - Rarity's Confusion

Hello dear. I'm Rarity, and I own the dress shop down the street. You wanted to ask me about Derpy's story? ....Derpy has a story? Oh dear. Let me read it.

Rarity examines the story.

...

Oh.. Oh my.. Just as I expected. Of all the possible things, this is..

THE!

WORST!

POSSIBLE!

THING!

...

...

...I need to go.

Chapter Nien - Da final mofin [TRAGEDY]

LEGEND

Purple - Derpy

Pink - Muffin

Yellow - Muffin Eater

--

ok so i chaisd da mofin to da town squar. der was an evil pony lookin at da mofin like he wus gona eat it. da mofin went ovr to him. and da pony sed

omg imma eat u know

an da mofin sed

omg plz no i promis ill be nice to u plz dont eet me plz!!!1

an i sed

omg stawp hes mah mofin u dum hors

no hes min

somwun help plz

an da pony ated da mofin

an i sed

NOOO!!!!!! Y!!!!!

an da pony sed

cuz i am evil hahaha r u mad???

omg.. he was.. the only mofin i evar lovd!!!

haha noob

an den he flew up into da skai. but i dont no howe  cuz hes a erth poney.

da end