Repulsor Beam Adoption Agency

by The Bricklayer

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Sad, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Avengers, Other, Twilight Sparkle, Profanity
Length: 7144

Tony Stark considers himself a fairly open-minded guy, given the whole Iron Man thing and all. There's nothing that can't be explained away by science. ...Even a very tiny lavender unicorn who ended up in his lab. Maybe. Pre-Avengers

Tony Stark considers himself a fairly open-minded guy, given the whole Iron Man thing and all. There's nothing that can't be explained away by science.

...Even a very tiny lavender unicorn who ended up in his lab. Maybe. Who seems intent on calling him dad. Well, at least he can say to himself he won't have to find a gift for Pepper this year. Now, explaining this one to SHIELD, on the other hand, not to mention getting over his crippling parental anxiety issues? Yikes. ...somehow, facing Ivan Vanko again sounds more appealing.

Set Pre-Avengers. Proofread by TheRedParade

featured on 6/23/20, 6/24/20, 6/25/20, 6/26/20, and on 6/27/20. Top of the box!

(Iron Man and associated characters property of Marvel Comics)
(New title suggested by Airy Words, thanks! 👍 )

Published 2020-06-23 18:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-06-23 18:50:00 UTC

I Think, Therefore I am

Tony Stark had grown used to life in the public eye. At age 8, he’d built his first motorcycle engine and of course, being the son of the great Howard Stark -great being a loose word- it’d made the papers.

Age 21, he came back from years of boarding school to take over Stark Industries.

Age 39, he’d outed himself to the world as the now practically mythical Iron Man. He knew how the press worked, and he’d figured he’d better jump on the goodwill train before it pulled to a screeching, horrible halt. Suddenly, in the blink of an eye he’d be back to being the Merchant of Death and not the Da Vinci of Our Time. Horrible title by the way, he didn’t paint. He also knew that in the digital age of social media? Nobody would believe the bodyguard angle for five minutes.

So, yes, Tony Stark knew the press were like hungry vultures.

“The truth is…” he’d paused for a moment, and in hindsight, he’d think it strange how four little words changed the world. “...I am Iron Man.

So yes, those rare times when he got complete peace and quiet were welcomed. Such as now, when he was making his way down to his mansion’s personal garage. Times used to be, he could descend down here and not come up for days. Sadly, between fending off SHIELD -pretentious bastards- , awesome superheroics and running a Fortune 500 company? It really kinda put a damper on ‘me time’.

So when those rare moments of peace came, he took them.

His mental health was a mess after Afghanistan, that much was blatantly obvious. After all, good intentions or not, nobody in a healthy state just suddenly decided to take up a personal crusade to right their own company’s wrongs in a metal suit.

He needed help, and thankfully with Rhodey keeping the press off him and a little thing called doctor-patient confidentiality, he got it. He hated the idea of little pills keeping him functioning as a human being. But whatever worked… Slowly but surely, Tony adjusted to the new normal.

Anyways, the garage! He knew what was down there, and what he expected to see. Half-finished projects, and a multitude of awesome cars. What he did not expect to see was a little pony levitating various tiny bits of metal, with a magazine on mechanical engineering in front of… well, he assumed it was a her. She was… well, she was pretty close to being pink. No real answer yet as if she actually understood the book in front of her.

Tony looked at the drink in his hand, and then back at the pony. Then back at the drink. Then back at the pony. Then back at the… well, you get the idea. Tony did the only rational thing that came to mind. He tossed his drink behind him. Yep, okay, that was it. He’d officially finally gone crazy.

But all the same…

Right, what was that saying? Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. Yeah, that was it. Right, if there was the possibility he wasn’t crazy maybe he should see if everyone else was going along for the ride so to speak. If Peps didn’t see this pony, well he could check into a therapist tomorrow morning.

“Uh… Pepper? Peps?” Tony called before remembering Pepper was in New York. Right, so… “Happy? Can you get down here? Need you to see something!”

“Tony, I was…” Happy said after a few brief agonizing minutes when Tony swore he wasn’t going to show. The larger man’s eyes widened, almost comically. “Is that a…”

“Yep,” Tony answered in a small voice, his whole world thrown for the possibly biggest loop since he realized ‘Obi’ was in fact a complete bastard. “That is what you think you’re seeing.”

Twilight had been bounced around the system often enough, she supposed. Bit of a high maintenance filly, really. But who didn’t want a filly with anxiety issues along with serious personal grievings over her dearly departed parents. No really, what family didn’t want to take care of a kid like that?

Apparently, not enough of them. She’d been bounced around several homes, but none really stuck. And with her brother off in the military, and Princess Celestia, y’know, running a whole country? Well, that didn’t leave her a lot of options.

Did Celestia even care? Maybe not. If she really did, maybe she’d have taken in her personal student as soon as… well, you know what happened. But on the other hand, the mare couldn’t possibly juggle between balancing a whole country and taking care of a kid. Oh sure, she could pop in every now and again but doing all this on a permanent basis? No, that wasn’t really realistic for someone in her position.

The current family was nice enough, she supposed. Even if their biological daughter had serious ego issues. Great and Powerful? Really? She was still in school, and could barely do a basic levitation spell. Yeah, sure. And Twilight was suddenly going to sprout wings and become an alicorn Princess.

So, getting past all that, well… despite how the Lulamoon family took her in, Twilight just didn’t feel happy. Was it only natural? Maybe it was. After all, nice as they were… well. Twilight supposed in a few short days she’d be tossed back in the orphanage. Another family labeling her a ‘difficult case.’ That’s how they always put it. Like she was something to be ashamed of. She’d probably be there for a few more years and after that… well, the sad reality was, nobody wanted to adopt an older kid. Not really. Nowhere near as cute as pre-teens. More work as well. Less easy to meld into their ideal child.

Twilight sighed as she walked out onto the balcony, looking up at the moon and stars. Her dad had always liked astronomy and always had invited her out to come look. Together, they always peered up at the sky, and wondered… what if? What if they weren’t the only ones out there?

She could hear the sound of her ‘parents’ arguing. Never any real moments of peace. She couldn’t even read a book anymore! She needed… she needed to get out of here, just for a little bit. She couldn’t even hear herself think. Pouring all of her magic into her horn -in hindsight, a stupid decision- she began to wish. She wished, wished with all of her might for someplace she could find peace and solitude. And then, she was gone. Like she had never been there to begin with. In the morning, Celestia would come and so would her brother. They would search the house and search the city. Flyers would be put up, and guards would be posted everywhere on the hunt for a fillynapper. But, obviously, nobody would ever find anything. The truth was far far stranger.

So, okay. Unicorns were a thing. Boy, Pepper was going to love this one. Didn’t all girls like ponies? Or was that only a cliche? Well, obviously he couldn’t stand around gaping like an idiot. He had to do something.

Something that didn’t scare the little girl out of her wits. Well, didn’t scare her out of her wits any more than she already was. Judging by the fact that she was currently hiding under his hot rod in the corner.

“Sir, I don’t know how to tell you this, but what you’re currently seeing is…” JARVIS said, and a little yelp came from somewhere nearby and then a cry of pain. Tony quickly shushed the AI by holding up a finger.

“Not possible? Yeah, I got that Jay, but here we are!” Tony whispered before gesturing to Happy. He mouthed: “You go around back, see if you can get her to come my way. I want to know what she’s even doing here.”

“My niece has something like her, My Tiny Corgi?” Happy said as he went around to the other side of the car. “Boy, she’d really love to see this eh?”

“Yeah, can we, uh, not make comparisons to little girls cartoons while we try and talk to an actual alien?” Tony asked.

“Alien?” Happy replied.

“Well, yeah, sure! Aliens can look like little pastel horses, right? Besides, not really ready to jump on the whole ‘magic’ bandwagon just yet, thank you!”

“Well, if the shoe fits…” Happy mumbled before crouching down on one side of the car, peering down to see the shivering and shaking unicorn beneath it. “Well, now, aren’t you cute?”

Cute and dangerous, as the little magic shock Happy was given soon attested to.

“What, she bit you or something?” Tony asked as he saw his friend clutching his hand in pain.

“No, she shot at me with her horn or something!” Happy replied. “Hey, sure we’re not ready to jump on the whole magic bandwagon yet?”

“Well, energy absorption and redirection…” Tony muttered to himself, and crouching down to eye level, putting on his best Winning Smile™, flashing it at the mare. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. Not going to hurt you. Happy’s a bit of a jerk, okay? Didn’t mean to spook you. Don’t tell anyone, but he’s actually a huge softie. Big teddy bear on the inside okay? He just doesn’t like to let anyone know it.”

He didn’t even know where he was getting this from, honest! But it was hard to be the Merchant of Death when you were faced with one very tiny pony who was way too cute for her own good. Ugh, if Pepper ever saw him like this… Oh, okay. Wow, he hadn’t thought about that. Explaining this to Pepper! Rhodey too, for that matter!

Nervous little hooves clopped against the floor, and oh wow she was small. How old was she even? She could have been a full-grown adult by her race's standards. It was just… she looked so tiny!

“You’re big,” said the little filly, -obviously a filly by her voice- as she looked up at Tony. “...what are you even? Some sort of an offshoot of the diamond dogs?”

“Well, I’m a human and you’re in my house. Wow, not how anyone imagined First Contact would go really. I always imagined more ‘take me to your leader’ and all that, right? Isn’t that how it usually goes?” Tony asked, well rambled really. “I mean, I imagine all those filmmakers were onto something right? If you do something enough times, chances are there’s probably some truth to it.”

The filly giggled, feeling -hopefully- more at ease. Maybe now she wouldn’t blast anyone?

“So, what’s your story huh?” Tony said, still crouched on her level. “How’d you even get in here, and why were you reading Popular Mechanics? You like to dabble with machinery in your offtime?”

“W-Well, it was lying out on a desk and I saw a book so…” the filly stuttered out. “But I don’t know why I’m here, honest! Last I remember I was lying on my fa… my caretaker’s back porch and I looked up at the moon, wished for… well, I wished and next thing I knew I was being poked and prodded at by those weird arm things!”

She looked towards DUM-E and U, and Tony sighed. “Guys, look can we try not to poke and prod at the girl? She’s a guest here! I’m going to put a dunce cap on both of you. Why? Cause you earned it!”

DUM-E whirred sadly, hanging one of his little arms limply. Tony shook his head, before turning back to the mare. “Sorry about my AIs. They’re, well, what can you do eh?”

“AIs?” the filly asked, running the unfamiliar word across her lips. Testing the phrase.

“Yeah, or Artificial Intelligence for short.”

At this, the filly lit up and began practically bouncing around the room like mad. Like she was a mare possessed. “Oh my Celestia! Actual self-sustaining intelligence? What spell matrix did you use? Oh, you really have to tell me. I’m 8, yeah, but I’ve read the theories behind the spell latticework are fascinating, and I think I understand most of it…”

Tony stared in shock before Happy with a small smirk quipped: “...so, we’re taking magic off the table huh?”

Yeah, it was definitely looking like a good day to quit drinking.

With a bit of poking and prodding -not to mention eyes widened in wonder for JARVIS- he learned the filly’s name was Twilight Sparkle. Okay, odd name but he wouldn’t judge. There was something else, something at the back of his mind. Something he knew she was hiding, but what exactly was a good question entirely.

“Okay Jay, what now?” Tony said running his hands through his -hopefully not graying yet- hair as he watched the little filly practically bounce around the living room. “Like, what do we got on our hands here?”

“The subject does appear to be equine in nature, sir. Scans do indicate she’s carbon-based, and not at all dissimilar to earth lifeforms. However, there is a unique energy running throughout her body, perhaps the basis of her ‘magic. Though what it is exactly, that is undetermined.”

“You mean you don’t know, right?” Happy asked from nearby, as he watched Twilight nibble on some flowers.

“Essentially, sir. My apologies. I will get to work on correcting this error.”

“Hey, JARVIS? Do we know what she even eats, because as fun as watching her chew on the flower arrangement is… something tells me she needs real food,” Tony said. “Now, I’m not an expert on equines or… animals in general, actually, so I defer to you.”

“Normal equines eat a combination of free-range grass and hay, however, fruits and vegetables are also an acceptable substitute. However, it is clear young Miss Sparkle is no normal equine,” JARVIS admitted. “I would recommend trial and error tests until we find her preferred tastes. For now, assume she is lacto-ovo-pescetarian.”

“Lacto what?” Happy and Tony asked at the same time.

“The most common type of vegetarian sir.” JARVIS replied, with a hint of deadpan.

“Oh.”

Running with that, Tony ordered a rather large batch of fruits and vegetables. Nobody would question why. It was him. He was a well known eccentric. Plus, the longer he threw up shades from the real reasons he was ordering in bulk the better. God. That brought up another issue. If Fury ever found out about Twilight, and that was a very distinct and frightening possibility, he’d have his boys pull her apart. That wasn’t going to happen.

“Oh, listen to me, I’m already sounding like her…” Tony thought before quickly cutting that train off at the tracks. No, definitely no. He wasn’t a father figure, hardly cut out to be one. He was a self-destructive maniac with one too many issues. If he was ever thinking to adopt, he’d be rejected straight out. Plus, whoever heard of adopting a horse anyways?

He needed to tinker. Always got his mind off things.

Twilight wasn’t sure what to think. Here she was in some strange household on some far off planet that barely even resembled Equestria. And she wasn’t sure she wanted to be here. And yet in the back of her mind knew why she was here. Her teleport. Apparently, someone had been listening and plopped her here as some sort of cruel joke.

Tony and his friend weren’t bad per se. She certainly didn’t feel threatened by them. But between them, and the strange disembodied voice, well… her mind was like a hurricane of thoughts and fears. Who was Tony Stark anyways? And what was with those strange suits of armor he had locked away?

More importantly, why had she been sent here? To this place, so different from her own? Well, the wish obviously had something to do with it but why ‘here’ here? And why with this man?

Well, there was only one thing to do. Explore. Maybe there were some books around here that would provide an answer as to what was going on. Or better still, maybe they’d provide a way to contact Princess Celestia.

Oh, oh! Princess Celestia! She must have been worried sick! Her brother too! And Cadence!

Okay, okay. Breathe, Twilight. Just like your foal sitter taught you. Everything was going to be…

“Miss Sparkle, I have detected a heightened heartbeat. Your breaths are becoming quicker, both point to signs of clear anxiety. Are you alright? Would you like me to summon Mister Stark?”

“I… no, not right now. I don’t even know if I can trust this Mister Stark!” Twilight snapped. “Celestia… This is all so new to me!”

“While I do not know who this ‘Celestia’ figure is, I can assure you that you are in no danger,” said JARVIS. “Mister Stark is actually quite harmless. He may not be the most normal individual, but he will not harm you. And neither will I.”

“How… how can I trust someone I can’t even see?” Twilight asked. “Who are you anyways?”

“I will ask Mister Stark to put a face to my voice if that helps. I’m sure he can accomplish such a feat. As for who I am, you may call me JARVIS. Just A Rather Very Intelligent System, if you would prefer my full name. Mister Stark based me on his family butler, and like the late Edwin Jarvis I clean, care and provide for Mister Stark. Though lately, Ms. Potts has been picking up some of the slack. Rest assured, I can do the same for you, if that is what you desire.”

Twilight took a deep breath, despite how unusual it was for a building to have it’s own voice she felt no danger from the voice. He was very polite, and if he was based on a butler… well! If what he said was true, and he cared for Mister Stark, well maybe she should trust in him as well.

“I’d… I’d like that, actually…”

Okay, so yeah. His household now included one little horse. That was a thing. This was a thing now. God, he was never going to get used to that thought. Since when had his life gone completely insane? Did he suddenly deciding to become a superhero -he hated that word, he was hardly ‘super’ in any sense- suddenly just make Fate decide to let all the crazy in?

Tony knew he was insane, probably had a whole list of mental issues. He still couldn’t look at water properly, not even drink it. Not without thinking of cavedrownYinsenAfghanistan all over again. He had nightmares. Terrible ones, where he woke up screaming. The pills helped, but not always. He barely got any sleep last night.

Rhodey said there were groups for this. But what would people think, if they saw Tony Stark walking into one of those groups? Tony loved being Iron Man, one of the few ways he could make up for his… mistakes. Trouble is, the government could probably rule him unfit. They could, no they would take his suits away and what then?

No, no, no. He couldn’t let them have them. He thought back. What he’d said to Stern back then was the whole truth and nothing but the truth. “You want my property? You can’t have it. But I did you a big favor. I’ve successfully privatized world peace.”

Just with a few… revisions, that was all. A few things left unsaid. Okay, so that wasn’t the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But that was the truth they were getting, the truth the public liked. Tony knew the news media would turn on him in a second if they knew the whole story. Public opinion was a terrible and powerful thing. God, he wished he could make the court of public opinion an illegal thing. It’d do everyone wonders.

“Mister Stark?” JARVIS said faintly. “I’m detecting signs of an anxiety attack. Would you like me to call Colonel Rhodes? Or Ms. Potts?”

“No, it’s fine. It’s fine! I’m not broken. Don’t ever treat me like I’m broken,” Tony said rapidly. Far too rapidly to be believable. Hopefully, JARVIS would take the hint and shut up. Tony sighed, sliding back up against the wall. “Would you look at me now dad? This the son you wanted?”

He went back to tinkering, turning up the radio and letting the thundering tones of Bon Scott blast his ears. The less time he had to think about his issues, the better.

“Living easy, living free. Season ticket on a one-way ride
Asking nothing, leave me be Taking everything in my stride…”

Twilight groaned, hearing the music from even a floor above her. That man did not know the meaning of restraint. He was going to drive them all deaf before the week was out. It was like being back at…

Home? Was it home? Was the Lulamoon house really home? Possibly. Maybe. She wasn’t sure. She chuckled, in remembrance of Trixie. The filly was probably happy to have her out of the house. That way, she never would upstage her again. She saw the dirty looks Trixie tossed her when she thought Twilight wasn’t looking.

Envy, rage. That someone dared to be better at magic than she ever was. That filly was going to grow up to be one nasty mare. Hopefully, her parents steered her away from getting too terrible. ...Celestia, maybe Trixie would be the Princess’ personal student. Wouldn’t she just love that?

Celestia, oh by the Sun! She had to be worried sick. Her brother, and her foal sitter as well! But how could she contact them? She didn’t have any magic books to draw from, look up the proper spells! Maybe… Maybe Mister Stark(?) would have… no, that was silly. He didn’t even believe in magic, she saw it in his eyes. He barely believed she even existed! Twilight snorted. Seemed fate had one last joke to play. She got her peace and quiet, but she’d been shoved into a place where nobody believed in her. They probably thought her crazy, or maybe themselves crazy.

Twilight fought back a sob. She… she just wanted her parents back. She wanted to go home.

No, no crying. Celestia’s personal students never cried. A Sparkle never cried. They were strong. She was strong.

“Come on Twilight, you’re going to be alright. You can adapt!” she thought to herself. “There’s plenty to work with here, right? Maybe you can build a portal home. It’ll take a bit, but…”

No, she had to be realistic. None of the stuff here in this house looked advanced enough to do that. Plus, she was still eight. She was a filly, and no filly ever achieved world-renowned fame for inventing something.

Another cry was fought back. Okay, okay. Cheer up Twilight. Think about other things. So what was with the hall of armor anyways? Was Stark a type of Royal Guard? They certainly were… colorful really. Didn’t look very friendly though. His lab was a mess, the man had no sense of personal appearances. He’d be laughed out of Canterlot if he ever showed up. The restaurants wouldn't even accept him, messy and grungey as he always seemed to be. No, he wasn’t a guard. He was an inventor. So that meant he made those suits himself. But why? Was he a superhero? Like the Power Ponies? This merited further investigation. As did the look in his eyes, he always seemed so sad. Like her. He tried to hide it, but he always looked so lost.

Twilight slowly began to settle in. At the back of her mind, there’d always been this voice telling her that getting home probably wasn’t going to happen. At least, anytime soon. Still, she held out hope.

However, as much as she tried to fight it, her natural curiosity began to take over. She just had to know everything about her surroundings. History, technology, even the basic geography.

So grabbing as many books as she could find, she dove herself into them.

“I see you are what they refer to as a bookworm,” JARVIS said as he(?) watched the little filly browse through a selection of history textbooks. Varying things really, she never lingered long on one particular subject or the other. “Are… are you sure that you actually understand those books, miss? Far be it from me to question your intelligence, but you are rather young…”

“Eight’s not young!” Twilight squeaked out, though JARVIS begged to differ. “Besides, something tells me I’m going to be here for a while, so I might as well learn all I can.”

“That is a distinct possibility, miss,” JARVIS admitted. “It is highly unlikely that we can send you back to where you came from. Sadly, I must admit, no known star charts point to anywhere resembling this Equestria you mentioned. Admittedly, however, our telescopes are rather primitive.”

“I’d figured you were going to say that…” Twilight sighed. “And magic doesn’t seem to be a thing here does it?”

“Even if it is, I know Mister Stark is attempting to explain it as science. His current prevailing theory is that your abilities come from and I quote: “siphoning excess psychic energy from our dimensional plane”. End quote.”

He’d even thrown in a recording of Tony’s voice for good measure.

“I see…” Twilight replied. “Well, I suppose it’s possible but having grown up around magic all my life…”

“It is rational to believe it, perceive it as magic. I’m not going to stop you,” JARVIS said.

“And what do you believe?” Twilight asked looking up at where she thought JARVIS’ voice was coming from. JARVIS, for his part, had been noting her speech patterns and the way she spoke in general. It was all very odd, she certainly didn’t sound like she was an eight-year-old. He supposed she could have just been very mature for her age but all the same...

“Well, it doesn’t matter what I believe,” JARVIS replied. “It’s not in my programming to think of the differences between magic and psychic energy from other dimensional planes. I just take things as they are, and reach a logical conclusion with the evidence provided to me. If it happens to resemble what is perceived as magic… I will say it as magic until I have been provided enough evidence to believe otherwise.”

“So you do believe it’s magic,” Twilight replied, flipping through another page of her book.

“Perhaps,” JARVIS replied he noticed Twilight’s eyes widen in distinct shock, as she paused on a page. He gave off a little sigh, and said: “Ah, yes. That.”

On the page was a horrific explosion, followed by a radioactive wasteland of scorched earth. Hiroshima, August 6, 1945. A date that would forever live in infamy, and would kickstart the latter half of the 20th century. That, and the birth one very famous monster movie franchise.

“How can you be… be so calm?” Twilight whispered. “All of those people, why? Gone in a second? What was the point?”

“It’s been forever debated back and forth on if that was truly, strictly necessary to end the war. Perhaps it wasn’t, perhaps it was. Maybe the war would have gone on longer, maybe it would have ended that year anyhow. It’s not our place to ponder, only to hope that another horrific incident like that shall never happen again,” JARVIS admitted. “Though with the way weapons have been developed over the past decade, an atomic bomb is, perhaps, no longer the quickest or most compact way to deliver out destruction on such a wide scale. Including weapons, thankfully no longer developed by Mister Stark.”

“He…” Twilight whispered eyes widened in shock and horror, recoiling. “He used to…”

“It is not a proud part of Mister Stark’s history,” JARVIS replied. “One he is in no hurry to repeat.”

Here, a recording was played. A low almost whispered and perhaps shellshocked tone was audible in Tony’s voice. “I saw young Americans killed by the very weapons I created to defend them and protect them. And I saw that I had become part of a system that is comfortable with zero-accountability. I had my eyes opened. I came to realize that I had more to offer this world than just making things that blow up. And that is why, effective immediately, I am shutting down the weapons manufacturing division of Stark Industries.”

Ironically, JARVIS would note that Tony in his haste to rid the company of weapons? He still managed to give the world it’s most dangerous weapon yet in the Iron Man suit. The late Obadiah Stane had been right in that aspect, at least. Thankfully, his sense of commitment and personal possessiveness kept it out of anyone’s hands.

“Well, at least your Mister Stark’s smarter than he looks…” Twilight grumbled before getting up and trotting off. She cast a glance to the nearby hall of armor, and placed a hoof on the glass. “....right?”

Then, she left and in a flash of light teleported out of the room to… somewhere. JARVIS would find her again: he had her unique biorhythms on file. And logically, at such young of an age, he doubted her teleportation was all that controllable. He hoped, anyway. Perhaps it was time to contract Mister Stark. Just in case.

“Mister Stark, I hesitate to bother you, but we may have a situation on our hands.”

“What, is it Agent? Put him on hold then. I’m pretty sure the Avengers Initiative doesn’t want me anyways. I was turned down, textbook narcissism right?”

“It is not that, sir,” JARVIS replied. “It’s young Miss Sparkle. She found out about your… let’s say less than stellar history, amongst other things and is… how you say, on the lamb?”

“Shit!” Tony swore, already breaking into a run and already having JARVIS prep the Mark VI for launch. He was barely aware of the armor being slapped on his body, even as he talked with his AI.“Can you track her? You have her unique signature on file right? Little unicorn, can’t be hard to find right?”

Soon, he was rocketing out of his garage and skywards. Boy, this would be embarrassing if he found out Twilight was still inside the house.

“Found her, she’s on top of City Hall,” JARVIS said. “Picking up intermittent breaths, and a heightened heart rate. Both of which are signs that point to high levels of…”

“Anxiety, yeah. I got that. Can’t say I blame her, given she just found out about my less than stellar past. Isn’t that how you put it? No need to beat around the bush Jarv,” Tony replied. “Can’t say I’m surprised, it was bound to come out eventually. How would you expect a cute little pony that looks straight out of a girl’s cartoon to take it? Well?”

“Well, we were hoping…” JARVIS replied. “And another thing sir, while we’re on the subject. Young miss Sparkle seems remarkably mature for her age. Coupled with the fact that she’s been closed off it would suggest that…”

“Don’t even say it,” Tony replied. “Don’t even think of saying it. The last thing I need to be doing is caring for a wee little orphan. Have… have you seen me? I can barely manage myself!”

JARVIS wisely chose not to mention the fact that over the past few days he’d noticed an odd change in Tony. Changes in neurological functions, influxes of oxytocin and dopamine. Declines in testosterone levels. In short, all perfectly natural responses of the body preparing itself for fatherhood.

He privately approved.

“Well, let’s get this done,” Tony said to himself as he landed the armor. “The last thing I need is a worried kid on my conscience.”

He, not for the first time realized just how small the ki- No, Twilight actually was. She wasn’t any larger than a housecat. That might have been being generous, really.

“Hey kid, you can come out you know,” Tony said, unpeeling himself out of the armor. “Not going to bite. You on the other hand… well, I’ve seen a horse’s teeth up close.”

“What if I don’t want to?” Twilight asked from behind an air conditioning unit. “Come out I mean? I’ve heard of your history. You made weapons.”

“Not exactly a part of my past I’m proud of, as I’m sure Jarvis told you,” Tony said. “But at the time, it’s what I thought was right. The world was and still is a dangerous place. I thought, no I believed the best way to keep it safe was having a bigger stick than the other guy.”

“And now?” Twilight asked, still in that small voice. For once, Tony sardonically noted, she actually sounded like the little filly that she was. Not how he wanted it though.

“Well, there’s more than one way to save lives right?” Tony remarked. “I should show you the Arc Reactor at Stark Tower in New York sometime. Bet that’d send you over the moon.”

“Maybe it would…” Twilight replied, and with nervous little hoofsteps walked out from behind the air conditioning unit. “I’d… I’d actually like to see that, I’d like to see New York in general actually.”

“I’m… I’m not sure we can actually do that,” Tony faltered. “I mean, I know I promised you that you might get to see New York, but I’m not so sure that it’s actually a smart idea. And I should know about dumb decisions, I’m pretty much the king of them.”

“Why?” Twilight asked.

“Well, because…” Tony faltered again. “Careful Stark, you got to spin this right before you chase her off again.”

“Because I’m alien to this world right?” Twilight snapped, her horn crackling angrily. “Because I’m unusual, and I’d probably freak people out? Is that it?”

“Well…” Tony stuttered and that’s all Twilight needed.

“Well, it may come as a surprise to you but I can take care of myself! I went to magic school, my parents were friends of Princess Celestia herself and-”

“You’re a little kid! I don’t know who this Princess Celestia is, but I’m sure she wouldn’t want you to run headlong into danger like that!” Tony shouted. “You are a little kid and-”

“I haven’t been a little kid for a year now!” Twilight shouted, tears stinging her eyes. “Not since… not since the fire! Not since I lost my parents and nobody seems to care about that! They just want to look good by taking a poor little orphan in, and further their status! Gain goodwill points for taking in a little girl and raising her as their very own! Well, I know better! They don’t want me, they just want somepony to parade around like a point of pride and… and…”

Finally, her voice broke and became a wail as her emotions finally bubbled over. Her body, shaking, barreled into Tony’s chest and sobbed heavily. Tony just ran a hand through her deep purple mane and held her close, not really sure what else he could do aside from comfort her. Twilight’s body shook and shuddered, weeks of emotions kept carefully away finally let loose in one painful moment. She cried for her parents, for her brother who was away at war, and for her teacher and her foal sitter who were often too busy with politics to truly care for her.

“It’s okay… There you go, let it out…”

Neither of them would ever be alright, but maybe… maybe together they could at least try to work through it.

Life changed after that. Tony had decided the two should be broken together, and let Twilight -his daughter?- in on his own mental issues. She took it as well as she could, not really understanding all of it but that was to be expected. She still was just a kid after all, no matter how much she pretended to be otherwise.

“Tony! Tony!” Twilight cried excitedly, and Tony looked up from his work -boring stuff, really- to see the little filly prancing about excitedly with a little mechanical robot in tow. “He’s finally done! Spike’s finally done!”

“Comin' out of nowhere, drivin' like rain…” blared a radio in the background.

The robot was lizard-like in basic shape, though you had to look closely to tell. With bits of wires and metal plating exposed, he resembled a naked C3-PO more than anything else. But it was her first bot, -Tony smiled, was that pride?- so there were bound to be a few things she needed to learn.

“Good job kid, though…” Tony said as he knelt down to inspect Spike, who hobbled more like a lizard with a bum leg than anything else. “We really need to work on the joints, poor thing looks like it’s about to fall over. Also, response time could use a bit of tweaking. It’s taking ages for that little camera he has as a head to turn my way. We’ll stick a pin in it, okay? Work on it over the weekend, it’ll be a minion/master relationship okay?”

“Tony, you can’t go ahead and make your assistant minions,” Rhodey said tiredly, having slowly but surely gotten used to the idea of a little lavender unicorn walking around. “You can make your own bots as minions.”

“Excuse me, I am not just a minion! I am the Executive Assistant on Four Legs, Class One!” Twilight corrected. “Tony said so!”

“Okay, okay!” Rhodey said. “If you say so…”

Twilight liked Rhod… sorry, Colonel James Rhodes. He reminded her of her brother in a lot of ways. Firm, but protective of his friends and family. Did she miss her brother? Obviously. Did she hope to see him again? Of course she did. But for the time being…

Well, best not to think of such things. She had another mental puzzle to figure out. She’d been hearing on the news of something in New Mexico. This sudden storm that seemed to come out of nowhere, appeared over a small town before vanishing rapidly. Before that, several other odd incidents scattered throughout the state. Several sudden rapid lightning storms. Obviously all connected, they just had to be.

“Whoah!” Tony suddenly yelped as the drone spat flames at him. Well, sparks anyways. “Well, least we won’t have to get you a taser!”

“Yep, there were dragons where I came from so-”

“Wait, what?” Rhodes said, dropping his coffee cup. “Actual dragons?”

“-so I looked to them for inspiration,” Twilight rambled on ignoring him. “Apparently, had I finished magic school I would have had to hatch an egg as the final test. Obviously, I can’t do that now, so… This is the next best thing, right?”

“Well…” Tony said sucking in a breath before sharing a look with his friend. “Obviously, I think we should replace that with a repulsor beam, the modern take on dragons breath right? Plus, fewer ways for you to make something catch on fire. DUM-E’s still not mastered the extinguisher after all…”

Then, thunder rumbled somewhere above them. Tony looked outside; the skies were perfectly clear.

“Okay, that’s odd. The weather forecaster didn’t say there were supposed to be storms today…” Pepper said as she walked in. “Anyone know what’s going on?”

They soon got their answer, as Happy walked in looking rather shocked. His face was pale, and he was out of breath.

“Uh, yeah. I don’t want to bother you-”

“Then don’t,” said Tony. “What, it’s just a storm. We’re not going to curl up under the sheets in fear are we?”

“Uh…” Happy said before a man walked in. Well, not just a man. A god of a man, one that made Tony suddenly feel very inadequate. His chest was bristling with muscles, and while the drapes he wore did nothing for him, good lord he was handsome. In a non-gay way, of course.

“...wow,” Rhodey breathed. “That’s a hell of an entrance.”

“You should have seen him riding in on a lightning bolt,” Happy muttered and Tony shot him a look of surprise. “...I mean, who does this guy think he is? Thor?”

“Well, actually…” the blond started.

“Actually, how about you clear on out of here,” Tony said pointing to the door. “If you want to talk to me, make an appointment with my secretary. So you can clear you and your shiny cosplay butt on out of here. Happy, show him the door!”

“...yeah, sure, you make me show this guy the door!” Happy grumbled before hanging his shoulders in resignation.

“You are Tony Stark, correct?” said the new arrival. “I’m looking for you, a friend of mine? Heimdall? He said to find you, for a friend of course.”

“And I can only assume you, your hypothetical friend, and Heimdall are all booked with appointments?” Pepper said looking annoyed at the repair work she’d have to do.

“...Tony, please tell me this isn’t one of your ex-employees,” Rhodey sighed. “Beck was bad enough!”

“I do not work for Mister Stark,” said the blond man. “I am actually here on a gesture of peace. My name is Thor Odinson, and I am looking for…”

Before Tony had time to process that little statement, he watched Thor’s eyes drift to Twilight's frozen form. His fatherly instincts went into overdrive.

“Don’t you touch her!” he said ready to call for his new suit.

“Rest assured,” said a warm motherly voice that, judging by her reaction, Twilight knew well. A truly massive white horse stepped into the room. “Thor was only here to bring me to you. Hello, Twilight. I’ve been searching for you for a long time…”

“PRINCESS CELESTIA!” Twilight said as she wrapped her forelegs around the Princess’s left front leg, crying tears of joy. Tony swallowed as he looked at both her and Thor. Suddenly, he felt his life was about to get very complicated…

FIN.

Author's Note

Okay, this is another one of those personal experiments. I didn't even mean for this to turn out so long, but Red advised I work on the pacing and so it got a little bit longer than I originally meant it to.

You'd expect me to do the funny eccentric billionaire side of Stark, right? Sorry, nope. Instead, you get the needs a goddamn hug Stark. There's a bit of humor here and there, but not really the main flavor of this story.

Still, this was a fun little piece to work on over the course of several days, even if D&D kept on distracting me. I blame you Ruin. I really do. Still not a fan of the title, but I can't think up anything better.