Beep, Beep. I'm a cloud.

The question had been bothering Rainbow all night. When morning finally came, she downed her morning coffee and shot out of her house like a bullet. She was a pegasus on a mission and nothing was going to stop her from discovering the truth. Well, almost nothing. She paused in the air and groaned, before returning to her home. A moment later she left the cloud mansion again, this time with holding a head of lettuce in her front legs.

Directly below her home was a dog house, surrounded by a fence. On the side the name Tank was painted on in bright green letters. Dash landed and whistled. “Come on boy. Time for breakfast.”

A small green head popped out from the door, looked at her and slowly smiled. Tank made his way out of the house and, after a wait that seemed way to long for the pegasus, got to his owner.

“Good boy.” Dash patted his shell. “I won’t be able to play with you today. Something came up.”

He simply stared at her and blinked.

“I know I said I would, but this is important.”

Blink.

“Don’t give me that look. I’ll take you over to Pinkie’s again soon so you can play with Gummy, ok?”

Blink.

“I… you can’t understand anything I’m saying, can you?”

Blink.

Should have gone with the bat.

“I’ll see you later.” She gave him little pat on the head and took off.

****

Dash realized that the first thing she needed for her plan was a proper disguise and for that, she only needed one thing. The one thing that every weather pony could create in an instant: a cloud. She swept over the town’s pond over and over again, collecting moisture each time. Within seconds she had created the perfect sized cloud for her to fit in.

****

A completely ordinary cloud, that oddly enough had a pair of blue wings sticking out of the top, now floated over the market area..

Rainbow peered down, through a hole in her cloud disguise, at her target: the large stallion running the apple stand. I’m going to watch you like a griffon. Memories of Gilda ran through Dash’s head, primarily the ones about her having freakishly good eyesight. Well, ok, maybe not like a griffon but like some bird creature. You can bet on that.

First minutes went by. Then a few hours slowly past. The longer she remained there, the slowly time seemed to go. She was now fidgiting in her cloud and mental commanding Big Macintosh to just give her the answer already. However, all she had learned about him was that he often said, “Eyup." Though she did discover that half the mares in town liked to ogle him when he wasn’t looking.

“This is boring.”

“Tell me about it." A sudden realization dawned on her, "What the hay?" Dash jumped up out of the cloud and saw a smiling pink pony on her Pinkicopter Mk. II. It was similar to the Mk I in most ways but this one did have a parachute attached to it. "Pinkie, what are you doing?”

“Pedaling.”

Dash, doing her best Tank impression, just blinked in response, she had long since grown used to Pinkie’s answers. If you wanted anything worthwhile out of that pony, you had to ask the exact right question.

“The better question is why are you pretending to be a cloud. It doesn’t seem very fun. Now, if you were a storm cloud instead of a regular one, then you could at least rain on stuff and shoot lightning. Now that would be fun.”

“I’m not pretending to be a cloud.”

“Then why-” she stopped in mid sentence and looked down. “Oh, I get it now.” Pinkie winked at her. “Don't worry Dashie.” She patted the blue pegasus on her head, "I think he's kinda hot also."

Dash was frozen in place, except for one ear that slightly twitched. “What?” For the first time in a while, Pinkie had truly caught her off guard. Pinkie checking out anypony just did not make sense. Spying to set up a prank? Sure. Spying to see what kind of party to throw them? Of course. But checking them out because she's attracted to them? No. Just… no. That simply did not fit with Dash’s image of her pink friend.

“Although, I know you aren’t like the rest of the mares in town.”

Dash nervously laughed. “Well duh, I am much more amazing than the other mares... but just out of curiosity, what do you mean, not ordinary?”

“You’re braver than the rest of us. You even kicked a dragon in the face. So I’m sure you’ll be one to finally ask him out.”

“Uh…”

“Apple cinnamon cake.”

“I… wha…”

“You know, because it’ll be apple-y and has a little spiciness to it, like rainbows. It’ll be the perfect cake for my, congratulations on being a couple, party. Bye Dashie.” Pinkie took off towards the bakery.

Dash just sat there for a few moments, staring off into the distance. “She is so random.” She shook her head a few times and then looked over the cloud’s edge.

Big Mac was still sitting there in the same spot. She spotted Rose and Lotus talking to one another as they walked down the street. They walked right past the stand and Big Mac didn’t seem pay a bit of attention to them. Really? The prettiest earth ponies in town walk by you and you don’t even glance at them? She was ready to announce her victory when another thought came to the surface. Well, I guess AJ doesn’t really check out colts while on the job. Maybe it’s just an Apple family thing. Selling apples is serious business to them. Besides, Batcolt would certainly get more evidence than this.

She lay back down onto the cloud, not bothering to cover herself up this time. This would be a lot easier if Ponyville had some more stallions. Then I could see if he looked at them when they pass. Now that she thought about it, it was weird that the town had so many more mares than stallions.

Her thought process was soon shattered by a rather over eager voice. “Rainbow Dash!”

Dash turned around and spotted a little orange filly hovering nearby. It had only been recently that Scootaloo learned to fly and now she was always up in the air. Even Dash had to admit; she was making great progress and doing so quickly. “Hey squirt, what’s up?"

“I think I’m ready to learn some tricks and I was wondering if you would teach me, since it's your day off? I want to learn from the best flyer ever.”

Well, I am pretty amazing.

“Sorry squirt, but I’m kinda busy today.”

“Oh.” Scootaloo’s body, except for her wings, went limp and any trace of a smile vanished from her face. “Ok. I understand.” The dejected filly began flying down, towards the ground.

Dash, no. You have to keep an eye on Big Mac. She’ll be fine. It’s not like you’re her biggest idol. It’s not like if Spitfire told you she didn’t have time for you, it wouldn’t break your heart. Damn it brain, this is why I don’t use you often.

“Scoots, hold on for a second.” The little filly stopped and looked up at her. “I can quickly show you some basic moves.”

In an instant Scootaloo went from frowning to smiling from ear to ear. She raced up and hugged Dash. “Thank you, thank you, thank, you, thank you…”

“Alright, alright. Now follow me.”

****

It took the better part of the next few hours to teach Scootaloo the high speed strut and Filly Flash. She had also wanted Dash to teach her the Buccaneer Blaze, but even Dash knew teaching a beginner that move was a bad idea.

Landing back onto her cloud she looked down at apple stand, or rather, where the stand used to be. “Horseapples,” she mumbled. He’s probably on his way home. She bucked the cloud out of frustration and took off towards Sweet Apple Acres.

She crossed Ponyville in mere seconds and was now over the dirt road. Come on, where the hay are you? She finally spotted Big Mac. Oddly enough it was around the same spot where she saw him yesterday. Screw subtlety. I’m finding out now.

She swooped down, landing in front of Big Mac and the two stared at each other for a moment. ‘Ok, now what do I say?’

“Howdy there Miss Dash. Can Ah help you?” asked the stallion in his standard western accent.

“Yeah, you can.” She nervously rubbed her hoof on the back of her head. “There's a question that I need you to answer. It's important.”

“Ah think I know what you’re going to say.” For the second time today, Dash just stared ahead in confusion. He couldn’t really know. There’s no way he saw through her perfect disguise. “Ya see, AJ told me about the conversation ya’ll had.”

The conversation with AJ? Crap. Now even he thinks I have a crush on him. Though, Rainbow couldn’t really blame him for that. With the way some of the mares acted around him, he probably thought every mare in town is wants to date him. Though that likely wasn't far from the truth.

“Now, you’re a very pretty pony and a mighty fine athlete.”

Great, I’m getting shot down by somepony that I didn’t even ask out. She snorted in amusement.

“But it’s just that, with all the farm work, Ah don’t have time to date anypony. I hope ya understand. No hard feelings, right?”

Rainbow sat down and sighed, she really was just going to have to come out and say it. “Mac, that’s not why I asked if you were single.”

“Oh?” For once today it seemed like it was somepony else’s turn to be confused.

“I didn’t even ask if you were single. I asked if you had ever had a fillyfriend. Yesterday, when I was trying to nap on a cloud, I heard you and Caramel coming up the road.” She could see Big Mac starting to sweat a bit and gulp. “I saw what I thought was you looking at his flank. Mac, are you a coltcuddler?” There, she had said it. Now, after all the frustration she went through today, she was finally going to get her answer.

Macintosh looked down at one of his ankles. “Oh, would you look the time. Granny’s gonna be wondering where Ah am. Ah better hurry.” He took off around Dash, at surprising speed for somepony pulling a cart.

But not faster enough. In a rainbow colored flash, she took off and easily caught up to him. Once again she landed in front of him, causing Big Mac to stop and turn his head away from her. “Look, I’m sorry if I’m wrong, but would you please answer me?”

“And why do ya want to know, huh?” There was a edge to his voice.

“I owe you one, so I want to help you out.”

“And if Ah do like colts, then what? How would you help?”

“About half mile out of town, there’s this old warehouse. A few years back it got converted into a night club. It’s a place for ponies like…” She hesitated before continuing. She knew that she couldn’t expect him to be honest if she wasn’t, so Dash continued. “For ponies like us. It’s a place where we don’t have to worry about hiding it, you know.”

“Us?” He was now looking her in the eyes again and his voice lost some of its edge. “So, you’re a fillyfooler?”

“Yep. Listen, I can take you there during the weekend, when you don’t have much work. What do you say?”

“Nope. AJ and Apple Bloom would be asking questions if I went out. There’s no way Ah can be away from the farm for that long without them getting curious.”

Damn, didn't think this far ahead. She tapped at her head with her hoof. Think, think, think… For some reason, the conversation with AJ popped into her head, followed by the one with Pinkie Pie. Her lips curled up into a grin. “I have an idea.”