Moving on

My shotgun’s magazine floated in front of me, my magic illuminating my immediate surroundings, though it was too dim to light up anything past a metre. I was sitting in the middle of a bandit encampment, surrounded by their corpses. I couldn’t see them, but I knew they were there, and didn’t seem able to forget about their presence. I’d killed all three of them, after all, each with a buckshot to the chest. I’d caught them completely off-guard while they were chatting and sharing jokes. I passively loaded another shell into the magazine.

Lost in thought, I didn’t notice Grace as she approached, startling me when she landed right next to me. Close enough to be illuminated by my spell, she raised an eyebrow. “You okay there, Candy?”

“Yeah, sorry, I was just out of it for a second.”

Her eyes widened in concern. “Not the greatest of ideas, given where we are. Luckily for you, it seems we got them all.” Thanks to her taking care of the sentry, I’d gotten the jump on the three resting bandits. Meanwhile, she had continued to look around, in case any of them were out of the camp while I took care of it.

I nodded as she sat down next to me. “I know…” We were quiet for a bit, but my previous train of thought slowly started to return, and I didn’t want to let it fester. “Do you ever… wonder if what we’re doing is really right?” I asked.

She looked at me, confused, before shrugging and relaxing. “I dunno. I try not to think about that kinda stuff. Why are you asking?”

I let out a small sigh. “I know it’s dumb, and I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but… before I met you, it was so damn easy to disregard raiders and bandits as sub-equine scum. Nowadays… I’m not so sure anymore.”

“Huh…” Grace creased her brow in thought, staring at the sky. After a short moment, she turned to meet my gaze again and slowly nodded. “I think… I see what you mean. The fact that you now know that some of us can be redeemed…”

I frowned and gently shook my head. “Not exactly. I mean, it’s definitely part of it, but it’s not what I was thinking about.” I looked straight up, as if trying to glean an answer from the pitch black night sky. It took a while for me to gather my thoughts into coherent words. When Grace took a breath to start talking, I quickly cut her off, “I’m starting to wonder… It feels like I’m imposing my view of the world on these ponies. Who’s to say that their lifestyle is wrong, and who gave me the right to play judge, jury, and executioner?”

“You’re right,” Grace said, causing me to spin my head around in surprise, only to be met with a mischievous smirk. “You are being stupid,” she added when I met her gaze.

I shook my head, feeling a smile creep up on my lips as I rolled my eyes. “Hah, some help you are. Thanks.”

The smirk on her beak turned to a gentler smile. “Hey, no problem.” She let out a short, quiet laugh before continuing, “In all seriousness though, I don’t know. The way I’ve always seen it is that ponies accept that fate when they pick that for a career. Guards and mercenaries as well. You choose to earn your living in a risky way and that risk eventually finds you. In a way, bandits and raiders are just the other side of the coin.”

“I guess that makes sense, but I think that’s exactly the issue at hoof. We’re really not that different from them, so how can I be confident that my side is the right one? What if I’m just perpetuating some needless violence?”

I looked and pawed at the ground, illuminated by the dim light of my horn, still keeping my magazine afloat. “I know I’m overthinking this, I just can’t help it. I take the side of the weaker ponies who can’t fight for themselves, so obviously I should be justified in my actions, right? But there’s only so many ponies I can kill, so many corpses I can leave behind before it all catches up to me…”

A cold wind blew between the buildings around us, howling as it forced its way through shattered windows and narrow cracks in the walls. Neither of us spoke, unable to find anything worth saying.

Finally, it was Grace who broke the dreadful silence. “I think the fact that you do overthink things like this is what makes you such a good person. Better than anyone I’ve met, really. It’s what I love about you.”

My earlier smile came back, this time more of happiness than amusement. “I think you have a point, but I don’t think the answer to my question is that simple. Still, thanks, it means a lot.” I felt a quiet laugh escape my nostrils. “And thanks for not making too much fun of me.”

Her tone brightened immediately. “That’s what I like to hear! Let’s go back to town and get drunk to celebrate and to calm your mind’s desire to torture you!”

I stared at the note in front of me. It was short, full of grammatical mistakes, and penned in an irregular script. It was like a young foal had written this letter. Or, in this case, a young chick. Marred by my tears, it was now even more difficult to read.

The note was from Grace; it explained in simple terms why she had left, and ended with the sentence “Please don’t follow me.” She just didn’t feel like it was her calling anymore, and that it was time for her to find something else. I took another swig straight from the bottle of Coyote Tequila. I’d gotten into the habit of drinking because of her. Now she was gone, and I was drinking alone. Probably best to not let this become a habit.

Not that I was planning on getting blackout drunk, I just… wanted to distract myself from the pain a little. It already helped with the phantom pain, dulling it to a mere pins-and-needles feeling, so why couldn’t it do the same for my mental anguish? So far, all it did was make my thoughts more and more chaotic with every swig, and did very little to guide them elsewhere—well, maybe with the occasional thought about Platinum’s plot. I thought we were good friends, and then… she just left me.

There was a knock at my door. “Yes?” I called out, voice sounding weaker and coarser than expected.

Platinum opened the door and trotted into the room. “Hey. Are you alright?”

I couldn’t help but smile at his awkwardness, then shook my head, sniffling. “No.”

After trotting over, he sat down next to me on the tattered carpet. We waited there in utter silence, as if expecting something to break it, neither of us moving apart from a little shuffling about.

After Celestia knew how long, the one question that had been playing on repeat in my mind finally found its way to my lips. “I just don’t get it… why did she leave? All these months, everything was going so well… then she grows distant over two weeks before disappearing completely.”

Platinum winced, dodging my gaze. “I am sorry. If you want to blame me for that, I would understand.”

I shook my head again. “No, I don’t blame you. I came to you and asked for advice, and you told me what you thought. I shouldn’t have listened. Deep down, I fucking knew you were wrong; I knew that I shouldn’t just give her space and hope for the best. In the end, I simply made the comfortable choice, not the right one. I really should have just talked to her…”

I let out a deep sigh before taking another swig from the bottle. “Just why…”

“If it is of any consolation, I think I might have an idea for what might have driven her away… It is merely conjecture however, and I am far from sure.”

As he turned to look at me, I met his eyes. “Well, what is it?”

Frowning, he hesitated for a brief moment. “I think she was in love with you, and was ultimately unable to come to terms with it.”

I straightened out my neck and started standing up. “What? That’s ridi—” I cut myself short, realising that the signs had all been there before lying back down. “Shit, I think I’ve been ignoring her advances.” Worse, I knew they were there, but refused to take them seriously. Because acknowledging them would have been just too awkward. I’d brushed them off as a joke, shared a giggle, and moved on.

There were times I’d considered responding seriously to them, but I never quite managed to get it out. Always paralysed by the uncertainty, unwilling to take the step, scared that I had misunderstood her and that I would just make things awkward.

I mean, I didn’t even like mares to begin with, so I doubted griffin hens were my thing either. It wouldn’t have lasted, so why bother?

Then again, it didn’t last anyway, because she was now gone.

On the bright side… maybe I could fix it? Surely, finding her wouldn’t take more than a month. But then… she was a griffin, hiding from me would be easy for her. Unlike Iron, who was just a unicorn. Then again, she was kidnapped by a fucking alicorn so that logic hardly applies. Now, she was definitely dead. Even if she wasn’t, I wouldn’t ever see her again.

So yeah, maybe I could still find Grace. Hiding from Platinum would be a lot harder, after all… but what would be the point of him talking to her? What she needed to hear was something only I could say. What she needed was something only I could give her.

I really should have given her a shot. After all, the thought didn’t disgust me; in fact, I was curious. But that was all it was: curiosity, and I knew it would fade. A memory of my first time meeting Grace crossed my mind. Getting together with her would only result in her getting hurt further, wouldn’t it? If I talked to her, it would only cause her more pain, regardless of what I said. I couldn’t do that to her, no matter what I wanted.

Then again… there was always the chance that Platinum was wrong, and that she had left for other reasons. Although in either case she’d made her choice already. She wanted to be away from me, and ignoring her wishes would be bad…

Fuck, I would need to think all of that through when sober. Now, though, I really needed a distraction. Maybe tomorrow my head would be clearer, and the choice more obvious.

“I’ll think about this more in the morning. For now, I just want to forget about it for a while. Will you drink with me, Plat? Let’s talk about… anything else.”

I let my eyes scan over his side, briefly stopping on his rump before returning to his face. Wait, what was I considering? I couldn’t. I—

Who cares? The thought echoed in my mind for a brief few moments. I’d been refusing to look at him this way, but right now it just didn’t matter anymore. I needed a distraction, and hopefully he would be willing to provide it.

The distant memory of Silver and what he’d done to me crossed my mind, but I was good at pushing those specific thoughts aside.

Wait, what was I thinking? My best friend had just left, and I was now considering fucking my other best friend as a distraction? What the fuck were my priorities? Would that even help? No doubt, I would end up feeling hollow afterwards.

Shut up, stop thinking about the future, you dumb mare.

Right now, all I needed to do was drink, talk, and relax. Maybe something more would come of it, maybe it wouldn’t. Maybe it would briefly make me feel better, and maybe it would fuck me over.

Lost in my chaotic thoughts, I didn’t notice the hesitant pause before he gave his answer. “Sure, why not. Just… know that I will not be drinking as much as you; I do not really handle liquor very well.”

I lay there, basking in the afterglow and in the warmth of Platinum’s feathers, feeling his breath on my neck. This all felt so… right. “Thank you,” I whispered.

“Hmm? Fer what? I mean, you’re welcome, I guess?” For some reason, his accent sent my heart aflutter. Or maybe it was the fact that he didn’t bother hiding it. It just felt so intimate. Though perhaps he was just too drunk to care. No, he wasn’t that intoxicated, in fact, he could have almost passed as sober. Well, passed as sober to my inebriated self, so probably not all that sober. He really hadn’t had all that much to drink, either, so I really couldn’t tell.

I wonder what all determines how much of a lightweight a pony is. Weight definitely mattered, and I probably weighed twice as much as he. Well, maybe not quite, but it wouldn’t surprise me either. Gender also affected it, though I couldn’t remember off the top of my head which one had the better tolerance. I wanted to say mares, but maybe that was one of those rare instances where bucks had an inherent advantage? Well, the female body had more fat storage, so that probably acted as a buffer of some kind.

Anyway, the last—well, there were probably more I just wasn’t remembering—factor was genetics. Although, I couldn’t remember if that was just a myth or if it was real. Genetics affected so many things, it was insane. I knew for a fact that my build wasn’t just from hard work, but I’d also won the hereditary lottery. Apart from my eyes, of course, those were weak, just like mom’s. I wondered if my own foals would have the same issues as I did. Platinum did have particularly good eyesight, so maybe that would counteract—

I realised what I was thinking, and made an active effort to push that line of reasoning away. Sweet Celestia, if he knew what I just thought I would die from embarrassment.

Only then did I remember that he’d just asked me a question and that I’d just ignored him for several moments. Compounded with my previous thought, the realisation that I’d thanked him out loud made the heat in my cheeks grow further as I blushed furiously. No point keeping it to myself, though. “For what we just did, for this. I know it’s a bit silly, but… Well, I was kinda scared I wouldn’t be able to ever enjoy it after what happened to me.”

I moved slightly out of his embrace, turning my body to face him and look him in the eye. I got slightly dizzy from the motion, but quickly recovered. “But with you… I felt safe, and it was good.” I felt a bit awkward saying that, but that didn’t stop me.

“Well, shucks, I’m glad to hear that.” He leaned in close, nuzzling my neck, then pressing his face into my chest’s fur.

There was a long, comfortable pause during which we just lay there, relaxing in each other’s embrace.

Eventually, my courage fueled by alcohol in my veins, I spoke up, “You know… when we started drinking, I had a vague hope this would happen, but at the same time… I knew it would feel like just another hollow distraction…”

With my left hoof, I lifted his face to look at me. “But it didn’t. It felt like so much more and made me realise feelings I’ve been ignoring for way too long.”

He didn’t need to reply; the look on his face told me all I needed to know. Leaning forward, I kissed him, and he returned it.

It lasted a few seconds before he pulled away. “You wouldn’t believe how long I’ve wanted this, but I kept it to myself, scared to pressure you into something you didn’t really want. If I’d’ve known earlier I—”

I cut him off with another kiss, this one lasting much longer than the first.

Platinum had fallen asleep a while ago and was now comfortably snoozing with his head resting on my chest. Meanwhile, I didn’t want to sleep quite yet, instead opting to take in how nice I was feeling, and make it last as long as I could. My mind, however, was awfully clear now, and it was determined to remind me why exactly I’d wanted a distraction.

Grace was gone. I’d failed, and worse, I’d lost a friend. However, my earlier idea of maybe indulging in her attraction seemed a bit silly. Now that I had Platinum, it felt wrong to consider such an option.

Though… at the end of the day, I’d only had sex with him because I missed Grace, hadn’t I? That was awful of me…

The thought still stung, but when I looked at him, chest slowly rising and falling with every breath, the worry quickly melted away. It didn’t matter how I’d reached that realisation. What mattered was that I had reached it.

Fast asleep, Platinum turned onto his side, and I wrapped my body around his.

I looked around the hut made out of sheet metal and planks. If it wasn’t for how clean it was, I wouldn’t have guessed that this place was a doctor’s office. The white sheets covering the bed I was currently impatiently lying on were especially immaculate.

We only wanted to make a brief stop here to buy food, water, and some firewood—on top of my visit to the doctor. The latter had said she would be back shortly, but I’d already been waiting for close to half an hour. If she didn’t come soon, I would just leave and find another medical pony along the way.

I waited maybe five more minutes before the door finally opened inwards. “Sorry,” said the mare clad in a white lab coat. It was almost as clean as the sheets, much to my surprise. “One of the fillies got a nasty sprain, and I had to take care of it.”

“As long as it’s just a sprain, it should be fine,” I replied with a soft smile. I’d suspected something along those lines when she had run out of the building, telling me to wait inside. However, hearing her put it into words brushed the rest of my annoyance away. I couldn’t be mad at her for doing her job.

She sat down at the desk in front of the bed and pulled out a fresh sheet of paper from one of the drawers. “Yeah, she’ll recover soon enough. Sorry again for making you wait, I hope you’re not in a hurry.”

“It’s fine. My buckfriend and I are heading for New Detrot and wanted to cover as much ground as possible today, but I guess we could stay another night here anyway.” After all, we really weren’t all that pressed for time.

“You two traders? I saw the wagon.” She pointed her hoof behind her back, in the general direction of the cart.

I waved my hoof dismissively. “Just couriers. Well, I guess a courier and his guard.”

The mare shrugged. “Oh, a similar line of business then, and it does explain why you would be heading to that frozen hellhole.”

I shook my head. “Actually, that’s not even the reason we’re heading there. We mostly want to meet up with his sister, whom we’d last seen there.” Hopefully she’d stayed, but given what I knew of her, I wasn’t certain. Snow was too eccentric to be predictable.

In the eight months since Grace’s disappearance, my life had changed quite drastically. For a few weeks, we continued looking for her, but ultimately didn’t succeed in finding her. After that, I tried to continue the work she and I had done together, but it was much too risky to play vigilante alone. Besides, without her to keep me going, I was starting to feel like I was relying on might to make my actions right, and simply couldn’t get myself to hunt bandits anymore. Though I still helped wherever I could.

After that, my routine returned to what it had been before I met her. Except that Platinum and I were closer than ever, of course. One night, his sister came up in conversation, and he decided to find her again, under the excuse of introducing me as his wife—despite the fact that we weren’t married yet.

“I see. I take it it’s your first time in Skybridge, then? The town’s pretty new in the grand scheme of things. I myself have only been here for a couple of months, but the town itself is less than a year old. Would you believe that? Turns out that building a settlement along a good trade route brings in a lot of caps and ponies.”

I giggled, shaking my head. “Nah, I’ve been to Skybridge before. In fact, I was here when it was founded. It’s nice to see that it’s big enough to have a doctor now. It’s hard to believe how much it’s grown, really.”

“Oh wow, I see. That’s nice. Must be quite a change.” I nodded, but before I was able to say anything, she placed her front hooves on the desk and changed the subject. “So anyway, what brings you to my office? You don’t look injured, maybe you’re rad sick? Even then, it would be mild”

I felt my lips stretch into a smile. “Not quite; I’m here because I want you to confirm something.”

It was getting late. Headed for the edge of town, Platinum and I were walking through the empty streets of New Detrot. The town brought back old memories, each stinging with nostalgia and regret. The sooner we left this place, the better. At first I thought I would be fine, but one glance at the buildings of this town had me tearing up, reminding me once again that Iron was forever gone. After that, I couldn’t even bring myself to enter the bar with Platinum, instead just waiting in the cold and dark street.

Now, we were heading for where Snowfeather supposedly lived, in the outskirts of New Detrot. It wasn’t a place I’d often been to, so I hoped I would start feeling better sooner rather than later.

Finally, Platinum came to a stop. “I dunno which of those two houses it could be.” He pointed at two buildings facing each other. “The griffin at the bar done and told me she lived at the end of this here street. Guess we’ll find out.”

He walked over to the one on our right and gave it a firm knock. A moment later, a voice called out from inside, “Seriously? I was just getting ready for bed.” A dozen more seconds passed, and she called out from above us. “Plat, that really you?” I lifted my head to see a white blur peeking through a window. I should really stop being stubborn and get some glasses.

“Yes, it is me,” he said, keeping his tone collected. Too collected. From what I knew of him, this meant he was nervous. Why was he stressed about meeting his sister? Then again, it was the first time the two would see each other in six years, so that made sense. Of course, it was also possible there was something more that he had simply omitted.

There was a short silence before a white mass jumped the windowsill. As she glided closer, her facial features sharpened, and I was able to recognise her as Snow, as expected. She landed a few paces away from the two of us and remained there, looking at Platinum and paying no attention to me. “Hey.”

“Good to meet you again, dear sister.” Correction, he was very nervous. Or maybe he just normally spoke to her like this? No, I doubted that.

She briefly met Platinum’s gaze before looking at her hooves. “I… uh… would you like to come inside?”

“Gladly.”

Snowfeathers nodded and took off. “I will open the front door for you and your… friend.” Even as she motioned to me with her hoof, she didn’t bother looking at me. I didn’t understand what could warrant such rude behaviour. In all fairness, meeting her long lost brother after such a long time would explain why she didn’t care about anypony else at the moment. It seemed like she might not even remember me.

About a minute later, Plat and I were sitting at her table. Soon after, Snowfeather sat down as well.

She spoke in a similar faux-sophisticated tone to Platinum’s, except it was obvious she was faking it. “I am very pleased to see you again, brother. I—” She stopped mid-sentence, frowning. Her eye landed on me by what seemed to be an accident, before she quickly averted her gaze. “You know what? Fuck it, I’m not bothering with the subtle approach. I’m sorry for the shit I said. I gotta get this off my chest or this will all be way too awkward.”

Platinum’s lips curled into a small smile that spread through his whole face, then through his body as he visibly relaxed. “I as well would like to apologise for what has happened between the two of us.”

Snow shook her head. “Nah, bro, you don’t need to apologise. None of what happened was your fault, and you were completely right.” Her gaze met mine once again, but she quickly cut off the contact.

“Regardless, I have said things no sibling should ever tell their own kin.” After saying that, he fell quiet, looking down at the table, then over at me, likely in an attempt to buy himself more time. Before I could come up with anything to add, he sighed and continued, “Besides, I have come to realise that I was wrong.”

“But you said—” Snow started, only to be cut off by Platinum.

He leaned forward, firmly putting his hooves down on the table. “I know what I have said, and I have had time to think it through and change my mind.”

Snow’s eyes widened. “Really?” Platinum nodded. “Well, then I’ll accept your apology if you’ll accept mine.” By now, she was grinning widely, and Platinum’s expression wasn’t too different as he relaxed once again.

After a short silence, I decided to ask the question that had been on my mind this entire time. “Would you mind telling me what happened between you two? You didn’t mention any of that, Plat.” In fact, in hindsight it almost seemed like he’d purposely been dodging the topic.

Snow furrowed her brow, then opened her mouth in surprise. “Oh, I remember you. I was wondering why your face seemed so familiar. Your name is Candy Cane, isn’t it?” I nodded, and she looked at Platinum and asked, “You mind if we give her the short story? I’m not really in the mood to recall details from that long ago.”

Platinum hesitated for a brief moment. “I suppose. It is a rather simple story, after all.” He shrugged. “I was searching a building for supplies—caps, ammo, anything to survive another week—but apparently a scavenger had already claimed it as her own. I must have missed the signs, likely because I flew in rather than take the main entrance. When the scavenger found me, she held me up at gunpoint and ordered me to give her everything I had.” He looked over expectantly at Snow.

“Then I returned, and when I saw that, I simply turned the scav to ash,” she said. “We had a huge argument over whether or not I should have killed her. There was screaming and name calling, and I ended up flying off.”

She paused momentarily, letting out a deep sigh. “I only grew to regret my decision when it was far too late to go back and find Plat. At least that’s what I told myself, but I think I was just scared that it would only make things worse.”

Platinum nodded. “I felt the same for a long time. Even when I found out where you were, I still found excuses not to come see you.” He turned to me and smiled. “It took a strong mare to give me the courage I needed.” I couldn’t help but share his mirth, my mouth opening in a wide grin.

“But wait,” I said, “it’s good that you two forgave each other, but what made you change your mind, Plat?”

“Well… At first I was upset at Snow for impulsively killing an innocent scavenger… But as the years went by, I slowly realised that, ultimately, she had brought it upon herself, and that she wasn’t innocent. She may not have been a bandit, but her actions still made her a bad pony, and she should have expected the consequence.”

While his choice of words worried me a little, I understood what he meant.

Snowfeather slowly nodded. “It’s good to hear you’ve come around, but I don’t think I was in the right, either. I shot way too early and shouldn’t have been so hasty.”

Platinum shrugged. “What’s done is done. It seems we were both in the wrong, sister.” He may have physically relaxed, but was clearly still mentally on guard.

“Well, let’s drink to that! I was gonna go to bed, but it’s not every day you get to reunite with your long-lost brother.” Before I could say anything, she disappeared into the back of the house. She came back with a bottle of Wild Pegasus Whiskey in her mouth and a stack of three glasses held between her torso and foreleg.

She set down the bottle in the middle and a glass in front of each of us. When she moved to pour me a drink, I placed my hoof over the glass. “I can’t.”

She shook her head in confusion. “What do you mean you can’t?”

I stayed silent as I stared at her, trying to keep my expression as neutral as possible, but finding it impossible to suppress the tiniest of smirks. Puzzled, she looked over to Platinum, who was about to reply, only to stop himself after catching my look. This continued on for a few more moments before her eyes widened with realisation. “Are you two—” she stammered, motioning to the two of us. “Are you—” She pointed at me. Unable to find her words, she opened and closed her mouth a few times like a fish out of water. “I— You—” Finally, she managed to get a full sentence out. “Am I gonna be an aunt?”

Platinum and I nodded in synchrony, and I replied, “It’s part of why we’re here. At first, we just wanted to pay you a short visit. But with a foal on its way…”

I nodded to Platinum, and he picked up where I’d left off. “I kinda wanted us to become a family. Mom, dad, and auntie.” He dropped the mask accent, and I had to stop myself from sighing in relief. Finally. “So, what do you say, sis, wanna leave with us?”

I was expecting her to be hesitant and put a little thought into it. Instead, she just blurted out, “Sure, I was getting bored of this joint anyway.” Then again… with her, one shouldn’t really expect anything.

70% to next level.