Chapter 8: Playing Heroes

Arcane sat at a small table in a crowded and dimly lit restaurant. The waitress had just brought them wine and had left to talk to another pair of ponies. A band of three ponies played classical music; one of Wagoner's pieces, if I remembered correctly.

The first time I’d seen this place, I’d assumed it was an atrium. Then, I remembered pre-war ponies had establishments where they would dine. Well, on special occasions only, since it was fairly expensive to do so on a regular basis.

A single candelabra with three lit candles stood in the middle of their table. Zephyr spoke up, “You know, you didn’t have to take me to such a fancyplace. Really, a chill evening with you woulda been fine.”

“I know, I know,” my host replied. “It’s just that this place has good food. Besides, it wouldn’t have sat right with me if I took you out for hayburgers.”

“You kidding me? Hayburgers are delicious!”

Arcane fought hard to hold back a laugh, instead managing to just slightly giggle. “Alright, I’ll keep that in mind, then.”

“To be honest, as nice as this place is, it’s a bit too high class for my taste, anyway. I’m a simple mare with simple desires.”

“I’m mostly the same, though I guess I do care about first impressions, so I wouldn’t ask someone out on a date somewhere that might be below them.” They both chuckled, but then fell into a silence that quickly grew awkward.

“You mind if I bring up a work-related subject?” Zephyr asked after maybe a minute. “It’s not that I wanna talk about it, it’s just that we might as well go for a topic we both have stuff to say about.”

“I mean, if you’re fine with it, I’m fine with it. I never really got the whole don’t-talk-about-work-outside-of-work thing.” Arcane swirled her wine with her magic. “It’s not like the shit we can say becomes any less interesting just because we ain’t at work.”

“Well, you got a point there. I never really understood it either, truth be told. Anyway, did you hear of the plans for Stable 4?”

“You mean that it’s gonna be on Foal Mountain? Honestly, I don’t really get why they would make it so far removed from everything.” She moved the glass to her lips. The first time I’d experienced this memory, I’d been disgusted by the taste. Now, I’d grown used to it, and even partly enjoyed it. Candy had denied my request to find a bottle for ourselves. She was probably right to do so; even if we did find one, selling it would be a much better idea than consuming it.

“Well, I think it’s pretty obvious that Mr. Pegas kinda just wanted a private bunker, with all of Stable-Tec’s technology. The higher-ups didn’t have any of that, though.” She leaned in, and my host did the same. “I overheard Sweetie Belle and the other two talking about this,” she whispered. “Apparently they reached some kind of weird compromise with him. He gets to choose how the stable is run, but Stable-Tec gets to choose the ponies who get a spot in it.”

“I mean, he would technically be entitled to a private stable, given that he’s their biggest investor and all. Oh, and he donated a fucking mountain.”

“Yeah, well, I guess even he would feel bad about it. They probably gave him the whole ‘we save ponies’ spiel and all. Since the stable is so far away from everything, it will open for habitation whenever it’s finished. It’s an interesting approach, and I wonder if they’ll do it for any other stable, rather than go with emergency evacuations.” Aurora shrugged. “Then again, I doubt too many ponies will want to leave their lives behind for a couple of square metres deep in the mountain.”

She leaned back to take a sip of wine. “I’m a bit concerned about what he wants to do with the stable. Apparently he wants it to be some kind of odd social hierarchy, where the richer ponies get the positions of power. Kinda messed up, if you ask me. The execs only accepted it as an experiment, as far as I know.”

Arcane nodded. “Yeah, if this stable ever sees use, it’ll end up with ancient-Unicornia-levels of ‘keeping the bloodline pure’. It’s already a huge problem with stables in general, but if you add incentive for inbreeding, then you’re bound to end up with a really bad place. I would give them… two generations before they allow cousins to get married.” I was still impressed by the accuracy of that prediction.

Forty years after the megaspells fell, the overmare at the time, Golden Aurora, had decided that only immediate relatives counted as family in the eyes of the law as a ploy to ensure her granddaughter would be the next overmare. It just didn’t make sense to keep pre-war laws and morals, she argued, when eventually everypony in the stable would be kin.

Still, from my perspective, it was hard to believe there was a time when you couldn’t marry your cousin. It was just that common in Stable 4. Then again, that only proved Arcane’s point, did it not?

“Yeah, I’m hoping it won’t see use to begin with, but I’m starting to think it might be inevitable,” she whispered the last part even more quietly than before. I knew the reason. Well, I’d speculated one up. During the war, the Ministry of Morale was responsible for keeping the public’s mood and general attitude positive. I’d never learned of their methods, but given the context, I suspected they weren’t very pleasant.

“I’m pretty convinced none of the stables will ever see any use. Call me crazy, but I think we’re approaching the peak of the conflict. Doesn’t seem like the end is too far off. Like, how bad could it get?”

Zephyr stared at her, wide-eyed. “You really believe that?”

“Mhm!” responded Arcane. “I mean, given how the conflict has been escalating recently, it’s only a matter of time before one of the parties tries to reach an armistice. Or one just ends up winning.”

“Wait, then why did you join Stable-Tec? Just because it’s a good, well-paid job?”

My host leaned back into her chair and raised her tone to normal speaking levels again. “Basically, yeah. Was the best job in arcano-tech that wasn’t directly related to… things I didn’t wanna be a part of.” I suspected she meant the war effort.

“That’s what your cutie mark is about, right?”

“Yup! Well, to be exact, it’s about fine manipulation of magic.” I regretted not being able to see her mark. “It’s related to this special quirk I have. I’m much better at sensing magic than the average unicorn. Usually, you can only really feel it as it leaves your horn. Meanwhile, I can perceive it all around me.” Prior to viewing this orb, I’d thought this was a perfectly normal thing that we could all do. Turns out I too was fairly special. Somehow.

Zephyr watched her soon-to-be marefriend with a placid smile, as the latter continued her tangent. “It usually goes unnoticed, since only ponies with a high talent for magic tend to realise it.” She shrugged. “Magic comes easily to ponies like us, even if most of us don’t really bother pursuing magic. Well anyway, magic was my dream, and this little gift only made chasing it easier. So here I am.” She stared at her glass for a moment, as if debating whether to finish it or not. “It’s extremely useful for understanding what happens inside a talisman.”

The next half dozen minutes were taken up by my host talking about talismans, spell matrices, and how to “debug” them. Zephyr seemed to understand even less than I did, but she kept smiling happily at Arcane. Eventually, her speech was interrupted by a waitress, carrying their food.

As Arcane started eating, her date told her, “You know, you somehow get even cuter when I don’t understand a word you say.” In response, Arcane swallowed her food wrong and started coughing. Eventually, she hacked up the culprit noodle. I could feel her cheeks growing hot while Zephyr giggled. “You should see your face right now.” Arcane’s cheeks only grew hotter.

The next half hour was spent eating and chatting about unimportant matters. I always lost track of their conversation, given how boring it was. I didn’t care for either of their families or friends. Or at all. Personal drama simply lay outside my area of interest. Back in the stable it would have been my duty to keep tabs on things like that. Thankfully, I’d abandoned that obligation a few months ago.

However, what I enjoyed with this orb was the atmosphere. Even in times of war, this place felt so much more alive than the wasteland or even Four. It was a memento of a time long gone. The music playing in the background, the idle chatter, the cleanliness, the size of the room. All of that came together to create such a delightful experience and change of pace from the wasteland. It was my escape.

Not to mention, the food was delicious. It was a seemingly simple dish. Tomato sauce and pasta. Yet it tasted so much better than anything I’d ever eaten before. The food back in the stable was so much blander, and I didn’t even dare compare what we could scrounge up in the wasteland to this. There simply wasn’t a comparison.

Yes, I had old world blues whenever I visited this orb, but I couldn’t help it, given how much better everything here was.

Coming out of the orb and back to my own senses was always the worst part. More specifically, waking up to the ringing in my ears.

I opened my eyes to find that Candy had already left the wagon. Whenever I needed to kill some time, such as when I awoke before Candy and didn’t exactly feel like reading, I would watch this orb. Even though I was ultimately encroaching on a private memory, it didn’t feel like I was doing anything wrong.

The “pt2” orb, however? Filly did I ever regret touching that to my horn. The memory felt so much more private, so much more intimate. Experiencing it, I learned that, through the use of… tools, two mares could have sexual intercourse. However, I didn’t exactly understand how fertilisation was possible in that case, given what Candy had told me about reproduction.

However, I’d also learned that it wasn’t always painful. In fact, it had been the opposite of that. Maybe that was the explanation for their actions? Was it possible that recreational sex had been an activity that pre-war ponies engaged in? More disturbing still, could it be that even afterwards, ponies had continued to do so? I couldn’t exclude the possibility, and that unsettled me even more. My thoughts drifted to my father, and I felt bile come up.

Why did I have to keep thinking about this stupid orb‽ I wished I could just forget about its contents. Forget about it entirely. Maybe once I figured out some of the spells from my most recent magic book.

In hindsight, there had been some references to recreational sex in the pre-war novels I’d read. Oddly enough, there hadn’t been any such references in the books I’d read back in the stable. Though maybe there was confirmation bias at play. Oh well, it wasn't like I could just go back and check. Wait, why was I still thinking about this? Go away, bad thoughts! I shook my head, attempting to force my mind into different avenues.

I decided to get up, but stumbled a little as I lost my balance. Grumbling, I found myself staring into the mirror in the back of our caravan. Originally, I’d wanted to get rid of it, because it kept reminding me of my scars, but I’d realised that recalling my screw-ups would probably help me avoid them.

The lower part of my face was slightly warped as part of the burn scar, though my fur had grown back over it. Overall, it wasn’t as prominent as the chemical burn from the toad abomination, where my fur was still patchy at best. A few smaller scars littered my face, but those were the least of my worries. No, what saddened me the most was my tattered left ear. It reminded me that my hearing would never go back to what it had once been. My eyesight had luckily recovered, despite the bright flashes, and I could even swear it was better than ever.

The last aspect of my physical appearance that had radically changed since the encounter with the sentry bot was how I wore my mane. After a good chunk of it had burned away, Candy had suggested we equalise its length, so I’d opted for a buzz cut. It had since grown back by a few centimetres and I now sported a short mohawk—was that the correct word? I’d never been very good with names like that. At first, I’d hated it but now I kind of liked it. Gave me a gruff mercenary vibe. And it was much more convenient. No more would the wind brush a loose strand of hair into my eyes or mouth.

In just a few months, I’d gone straight from looking like a stable dweller to resembling the average raider, not even the average wastelander. I sighed. It wouldn’t help to dwell on my scars.

I turned around and opened the door, letting the stale air from the cart out and the daft smell of mildew from the garage in. The freshness felt heavenly. We’d anticipated lower temperatures during the night and cranked the heater up. Unfortunately, we’d over-estimated the cold and ended up with an uncomfortably warm interior. The good news was that it would likely be warmer today. The bad news was that I’d gotten at least a few days closer to my next due bath.

I shuddered. Bathing in a cold region was not fun. Even with a barrel of hot water, drying off was always the worst part, and barrels of hot water were hard to come by. The best way was usually to place it above a fire, but that required being outdoors to avoid suffocation due to the smoke. Electric heaters were suboptimal, as power was expensive. Warming the inside of a wagon to habitable levels was much easier than heating several hundreds of litres of water to comfortable levels.

Ugh, why was I daydreaming about bathing?

I picked up a novel and started reading until Candy would come back from her daily jog. I could have entered the memory orb again, but I suspected she would be back any minute now. After that, we would travel to the train station to see if anypony needed our services. It was an average day at best, but with Candy by my side, I was content dealing with the drabness of the wasteland.

Hopefully I would not get any of the trance-like feeling that had made itself common over the past few months. I was starting to suspect a reason for it, but I wasn’t sure. It almost felt like a different pony was taking over my body for a few hours at a time, but this idea seemed absurd.

It was the only explanation I’d come up with, though.

"If it isn't our two wonderful mercenaries," greeted us Gust as we approached his desk.

"Please don't refer to us as that. We're caravan guards," replied Candy. Truth be told, we were closer to guides. We rarely got to kill anything other than a couple feral ghouls, but traders appreciated having somepony familiar with the region travel with them. We charged low enough that most caravans deemed our services worth investing into. Even a few local groups—like that of Banter or that crazy-tall unicorn, Skipper—occasionally asked us for help.

"I know, I know. I just enjoy calling you that." He was in an unusually good mood today, wasn't he? It wasn’t common to see him crack jokes, dry as they might be. I wondered what could have happened.

"Anyway," continued Candy, "since there aren't many caravans around, we were meaning to ask you if you needed us for anything."

"Hmm… I don't think I have anything specific for you two. There hasn't been much happening lately—well, not much you would help with, anyway—and the important pathways are mostly ghoul-free. The latter is mostly thanks to you and your frequent travels." He stopped to think for a moment. "There is something Gale would need the extra firepower for, but I don't think you'd be interested. I won't bother you two with the details, don’t worry."

By his tone, it probably involved attacking other ponies, and Candy wouldn't like that. Stars, even I disliked the idea. If I could avoid killing for long enough, maybe my mind would stop giving me those bloodthirsty fantasies. Just like my cravings for Mint-als had slowly dwindled, my desire for violence seemed to cool down as well. Maybe it was just like an addiction.

“How do you know we won’t be interested?” Learn to read the room, Candy.

“It’s about dealing with a group of bandits on the blue line. They’ve been messing with ponies in the region, though it was pretty mild until now. Well, if you can call armed robberies mild. Still, nothing murderous.” He shook his head in dismay. “But a few days ago they took some ponies hostage and demanded payment. All I could do was refuse, since agreeing to their terms would only empower them.”

Candy gasped. “You’d let those ponies die‽”

“Don’t have a choice. Like I said, if I accept to pay them, they’ll be able to buy better equipment and get allies. So far, they’re a weak group of slightly armed idiots. If we accept their terms, we’d be letting them become actual foes,” Gust stated, his tone much colder now. Bringing this up had clearly soured his mood.

“Oh…” muttered Candy. I knew what she was thinking. She realised how difficult of a position he was in. He couldn’t help out whoever had been captured. If he paid the bounty, he would only make the situation worse. If he attacked, the hostages would die if the assault was executed poorly. Even if they didn’t, Candy definitely didn’t like the idea of slaughtering ponies; bandits or no. “So, what do you plan to do?”

“Waiting to get more firepower. If I had more mercs under me, I would have already sent Gale to exterminate those pests, before they even got the chance to kidnap some innocent wastelanders. Trust me, I’m not happy about this.”

“Didn’t you say they’re weaklings? Why do you need reinforcements?” Candy asked. We didn’t really have a large fighting force, so Gust likely wanted to minimise casualties on our end. Wait, ‘we’? Candy and I weren’t involved in this.

“They are, but I can’t afford to lose any mercenaries. Just you two would considerably improve our odds, though I know I wouldn’t be able to convince you.” He stayed quiet for a few seconds, before adding, “You know what? It’s worth a shot. Please help us. You would increase our numbers by fifty percent. You’d be heroes for the ponies you’d save and for us.” So, he only had four mercenaries?

“Wait, only four? Last time I checked, there were six griffins living in New Detrot,” I interjected.

“I sent Blackbeak to Fillydelphia a few days ago to deliver a message, and you know I can’t fight.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Because of your wing and leg? You can still hold a rifle, can’t you?”

“Yes, but I’m a sitting duck if I join battle. I can’t dodge shots, and I can’t move to a better vantage point, I’m just stuck.”

“This doesn’t sound too different from Iron’s situation. So you want others to risk their lives, but aren’t willing to risk yours?” challenged Candy, voice growing disdainful. She wasn’t fully correct, because I did have my teleportation. In theory.

“No, that’s not it, it’s just that—” He went quiet. “You know what? You’re right. I’ll join the attack, though only if you two join as well. Otherwise I’ll just wait for reinforcements. I just really don’t want to lose any of my Talons.”

Candy rubbed her chin. “Do you really think we would make that much of a difference?”

“Oh yes. Just the extra firepower should make the attack a lot safer for us. You’re fairly competent, and having you would help us out a lot. Not to mention, the EFS spell you two have access to would make this even safer.”

“Hmm… Would you mind giving us a moment?” Gust nodded, and Candy leaned towards me, whispering, “I’m not very convinced. I like the idea of putting you in danger even less than hurting another pony. If these bandits weren’t such terrible individuals, I would flat out refuse, but given that we can actually help out good ponies by getting rid of the raiders, the decision becomes much tougher.”

“I don’t like the idea.” Not only did I not want to endanger Candy or myself, I also didn’t like the prospect of killing more ponies. Mostly because I believed it would fix my addiction to violent murder. Did I really just think that? Besides, murder was wrong, wasn’t it? “If we were short on caps, I’d consider it. As it is, it’s just not worth risking our lives over.” If the region ended up suffering from that group, we could always find a new home. As much as I enjoyed knowing my surroundings, I knew I could make any place my home as long as Candy was with me.

The ever-present ringing in my left ear grew louder.

She turned to face Gust. “I’m sorry, but we just aren’t heroes, or whatever you’re trying to paint us as. And since we don’t need the money right now, we will have to decline the offer.” I could tell she didn’t like saying this. She was a hero. Or rather, she had the potential to be one.

I didn’t, and I was holding her back, and I couldn’t imagine striving for it. We would be much happier if we lived a normal wastelander life, rather than trying to fix this mess that somepony else had created.

No, we weren’t heroes, and I wouldn’t let us become them. “In the end, we don’t really have a reason to help,” I added.

I started moving towards the notice board, Candy in tow, when the griffin spoke up once more, “Is that so? Then I think you might change your mind if you learn who the abducted ponies are.” His voice had a much darker edge to it than previously. A horrible chill ran down my spine. It couldn’t be. No. Please don’t. I shuddered.

“You can’t mean…?” mumbled Candy.

Gust sighed deeply. “Yes. Banter and his friends. I’m… sorry.” My mind raced for reasons why he would have kept that from us. Had he wanted to keep us calm? Why?

Candy slammed her hooves on the table “Why didn’t you tell us that sooner‽”

“Didn’t want to admit I was considering letting your friends die, plain and simple. I did not want to tell two of the most promising ponies in the entire region that I would be complicit in their friends’ deaths.” He tried to remain stoic, but his tone subtly betrayed his apprehension.

Candy and I looked at each other, and through eye contact, we could tell we were on the same page.

“You are such an asshole,” she said to him. “We’re charging you double for your stupid mind games.”

We were waiting in a small pre-war village for our scout to return, and I was bored. Worse yet, I was alone with my thoughts.

The radio tower stood on top of a large hill. I’d seen it over the treetops while travelling along the tracks west of it. For some reason, the towns along the blue line were even smaller than the other villages scattered throughout the region. A single row of buildings on each side separated the tracks and road from the dense conifer forest. In the dark of the night, this area struck me as incredibly unsettling. On top of that, the feeling of being watched was stronger tonight than usual.

I still didn’t understand why it bothered me so much. I had no interest in saving these ponies prior to finding out who they were, and was perfectly content letting them get murdered by bandits. The only explanation I could think of was that I’d grown to care about them in a similar way to how I cherished Candy, but I barely knew them. Had I really gotten attached to them so quickly?

Maybe it was unfair to put it like that. We’d only known them for two and a half months, but we had spent many evenings around a campfire, talking about anything and everything. Since my injury, Lockpick and I hadn’t gotten around to her practice, and I was beginning to worry she would think I hadn’t meant my offer.

Yeah, I definitely cared about her, and I would try to put time aside to help Lockpick learn to sing. Provided we managed to save them. What was I thinking? Of course we would succeed.

Maybe I could even learn that instrument spell that I’d seen ponies use to accompany her. It didn’t seem too complex, after all. Certainly nothing somepony of my talent would struggle with. While I wouldn’t enjoy playing, helping my friend was definitely a good goal.

I shook my thoughts back to the here and now. This raised the question—how would we save the three of them? They’d likely get killed once we started the frontal assault; I should ask Gale to adapt our plan accordingly. My idea had been to try and get them to safety by infiltrating the facility with my StealthBuck.

Apparently, those devices cast a camouflage spell on the user, so potent that one would appear invisible. If I could get them to safety first, that would be ideal. If not, I could always try to take out a few ponies from within their own lines, which could lead to a massive advantage for us. I would need a sharp knife to kill quietly.

Eventually, our scout returned, explaining that she hadn’t seen any hostiles along the road, only near the bunker at the bottom of the radio tower. The fact that it only had one entrance complicated my original idea, which I brought up when we started discussing a plan. Candy protested, and wanted to be the one to infiltrate their base with the StealthBuck, but a quick mention of my height and weight compared to hers convinced her otherwise.

Then, we ironed out the details. Our group would advance up the hill, our explosives expert checking for traps. Candy and I were to walk in the middle, and report if anything showed up on our EFSs. Of course, I would be ignoring the ghost bars that would appear whenever we were near a forest, but if any bar persisted, I would immediately tell everybody.

As we made our way up the road, I was almost surprised that we didn’t encounter any bars hidden in the woods. I hadn’t expected any. Then again, it made perfect sense—why would they hide inside the forest full of deadly animals? Especially given that there were only half a dozen raiders at most—according to Gust. Every few minutes, our lead spotted mines and disarmed them.

It was odd, though. All this talk of deadly animals, and we’d never gotten attacked by them. Still, we had no reason to risk entering the forest. But… The theory that animals didn’t attack ponies that stayed out of the forest seemed too convenient. And yet it appeared true. What if there just weren’t any animals, and it was all just rumours?

Our scout informed us that the crossroads ahead was close to their bunker. Sure enough, red bars started appearing as we approached, and I informed the others.

Setting our plan in motion, I took off my saddlebags, accepted Candy’s shotgun, and gave her my pistol in exchange; I needed the firepower more than she did. I also borrowed Gale’s combat knife, attaching it to my harness. Finally, I took a deep breath before plugging the StealthBuck into my PipBuck.

My hooves turned transparent, including the device on them. Even the firearm in my telekinetic grip was almost invisible. I knew it was there, and I could see the slight deformations around it, but anyone a more metre away from me would have a hard time noticing me in the dark.

For the first time in weeks, if not months, I didn’t feel like I was being watched. It was absolutely liberating. Maybe I would get some proper sleep for once if I lay down with one of those active.

Whatever, I had no time to waste. “Looks like it’s working. I’ll be going now.”

“Wait…” Candy started. “Nothing… Just… just be safe, please.”

“I will.” Just like that, I was off.

As I turned the corner, I realised that a spotlight was aimed at the road, and that I would have to go around it.

I pressed on, carefully watching the ground for mines. I knew what they looked like, so I knew what to expect, but I was still afraid I could miss one. When I finally spotted one, I breathed a sigh of relief; they stood out. Still, I didn’t let my guard down.

Unfortunately for me, my eyes adapted to the bright light as I tried to walk around them, leaving me no choice but to cut straight through the spotlight. If I didn’t, I would definitely miss a mine in the darkness. I couldn’t go through the forest either, since I was bound to make noise.

I would simply have to trust my StealthBuck.

I slowly walked through the bright road. I could at least clearly see the ground, and mines would be easy to spot against the grey concrete. That was where the good news ended, though, as I couldn’t see the guards standing in the shade. I could only on my EFS, which claimed they were currently both stationary.

Eventually, I made it through the bright hellscape. Crossing back into the darkness proved to be nerve-wracking, since I couldn’t even see the ground. Carefully, slowly, I stepped back into serene darkness. Once my eyes more or less adjusted, I spotted the guards: a stallion and a mare, sitting on chairs in front of the bunker’s entrance, each facing a different direction. An improvised metal roof extended over them, presumably to defend them from airborne attackers. It made sense, given that their main enemy was a group of griffins. Or maybe I was giving them too much credit.

Regardless, these two would make escaping the bunker with the hostages much harder than expected.

I switched to plan B, which involved finding a way to make sure Lockpick and the others survived the encounter, and taking out some bandits if I could. Well, the first part implied finding them first, which would be difficult, considering there were white bars everywhere inside.

My left ear started ringing, because of course it did.

Luckily for me, neither of the guards noticed as I snuck in-between them as they watched the road. One of them did seem to react to me passing by, but as he turned his head and saw only air, he just shrugged.

The heavy concrete door leading inside the bunker was open, likely because closing it was a chore. The interior was a single dimly lit corridor, with flimsy-looking doors on either side of it. Moving towards the back revealed that there was a single white bar in each of the rooms, except for the last one, which held three. Bingo.

I made my way towards it and hoped my prediction was correct. As I opened the door, I was relieved to find the three of them lying on the floor, tied up and gagged. Well, I was relieved to have found them. Only Petal was awake.

She stared wide-eyed at the door as I closed it behind me. I whispered, “It’s me: Iron. I have an invisibility spell. I’m going to cut you loose, but we’re going to have to stay quiet until the griffins attack. Okay?”

I turned off my StealthBuck—so that the two others could wake up to a familiar face—before freeing all three from their ropes and gags. They’d been here a few days, as made obvious by the red marks on their hooves.

“Iron? What are you doing here?” asked the Banter.

“Helping save you. In…” I checked the time on my PipBuick. “Seventeen minutes, Gale and her Talons will launch a surprise attack on this place. Amidst the chaos, it’s likely that one of the bandits will try to leverage you as hostages. This is where I’m supposed to come in. I was supposed to get you somewhere safe, but since this bunker is smaller than we imagined, I think we’ll just hide across the hall.” They quietly nodded. I was glad they understood the severity of the situation.

I led them across to the other room, to find that it was a bathroom. Smell of dried urine and faeces assaulted my nostrils, and I grimaced despite myself. This raised the risk that somepony would accidentally stumble upon us.

However, a plan popped into my mind. I told the three to hide in the shower stall. It wouldn’t be comfortable, but it would prevent them from being immediately spotted. I would stay behind the door, ready to stab whoever entered the room. I didn’t know if I would be able to kill a pony with this before they made a sound, but it was better than using a firearm to start.

It was ultimately a gamble, but it just barely beat the alternative of staying in the main room and hoping I could fend off whoever came for the hostages when the griffins attacked.

The next quarter hour passed extremely slowly. None of us dared to say a word, and the tension only made each minute longer. Thankfully, none of the other bars on my EFS moved, which helped me relax, if only slightly.

I ended up occupying myself by forcing lots of energy into my telekinesis, keeping it perfectly still. I soon realised that each droplet from the leaky faucet sent tiny vibrations through my knife. It made sense, given the nature of sound, but it still fascinated me that I was able to feel that.

When the first gunshots echoed outside, every white bar, save for my friends’, turned red. Ponies screamed.

“We’re under attack! It’s the griffins!” screamed a male voice—probably the left guard.

A female voice shouted, “Rusty! Get the filly! We might be able to negotiate out of this if we remind them we have a foal hostage!” Just like Gale predicted. I heard hoofsteps in the hallway.

A moment later, Rusty called out, “Boss! They’re gone!”

“Keep looking, you retard,” came the boss’ reply, and I could hear Rusty rummaging in the other room. What an idiot.

A few seconds later, the gunshots died down. Wait what? “What are you doing?” asked Rusty.

“There’s no way we’re winning this. Our best bet is to hole up and hope the griffins are content with killing most of us. If our bargaining chip is gone, all we can do is hope we can survive,” replied another voice I hadn’t heard yet. So even they knew they couldn’t win an all-out confrontation with Gale’s Talons? Interesting.

“Uh, okay,” was Rusty’s dimwitted reply. “In that case, I’m gonna go take a leak.” Stars fuck me hard.

I needed to kill her. Could I risk using the knife? I had to stay quiet, but what if she managed to deflect it and then stomped my head into paste? What if she was a unicorn and could grab for her gun faster than I could stab her? What if—

I pulled out my shotgun. Three on one weren’t terrible odds.

The door opened, and in stepped a rust-coated earth pony. A heartbeat later, I painted the floor with her brains and grinned as my ears rang. A second later, enough of my hearing returned to hear myself giggling.

Behind me, Lockpick was shrieking, and another pony was retching. Hoofsteps reverberated in the hallway. I needed to take the initiative. They knew I was here, and I wouldn’t manage to surprise another pony like this. Worse, by staying here I was endangering the others. I stepped out of the restroom, my head spinning.

The pony that had been running towards the bathroom, a charcoal grey unicorn stopped dead in her tracks. Before I could react and pull the trigger, her horn glowed, yanking my shotgun from me.

Part of me panicked. I grinned.

She pulled the trigger on her pistol, and a sharp pain pierced my chest. My grin grew wider. I’d show her! Slipping into SATS, I queued a teleport behind her and activated the spell. How I’d missed this!

She pulled the trigger again, but I was already behind her, picking up my gun. She tried to turn around, but it was too late. My off-centre shot shredded her torso, and she howled, dropping her weapon. I cackled and pumped my shotgun. Her horn glowed in some sort of last-ditch effort to save herself, but whatever she tried to do was interrupted by a shower of lead.

I started laughing even harder, but immediately stopped when I realised that a white bar had left the room to my left. I spun around, only to see a green blur bolt into the other room. Oh no, she was not getting away.

I ran in before she could close the door, only to find her… cowering in a corner.

“N-no! P-p-p-please don’t kill me!” begged my prey, hiding her face behind her hooves. I shoved them aside telekinetically, and made her look at me. The terror on her face was absolutely delightful. “I-I swear! I’ll t-turn a new leaf!”

But my grin didn’t falter, and with each moment the horror in her eyes grew. I almost blasted her skull, but changed my aim for her chest at the moment, giggling happily as her front hooves exploded in a shower of lead, blood, sinew, and bone. A chunk of meat bounced off the wall, landing on my face. By then, I was cackling maniacally, as she was howling in pain, which only redoubled my laughter. If murder was wrong, then why was it so fun?

Stars, had I missed this! I’d missed this so much! Tears were streaming down my face. Why had I ever decided that I shouldn’t kill? This was so much fun. Maybe I’d regret it later, but right now? I was ecstatic. There was nothing better than being me right now. There was nothing stopping me anymore! A fit of coughing interrupted me, and I tasted blood.

It was then I noticed the white bar approaching from behind. Another target?

I was snapped back to reality as Lockpick poked her head around the corner, levitating a pistol in her orange aura. I couldn’t shoot her. She was my friend. My weapon fell out of my magic, and my vision turned black. She dropped her pistol and ran towards me. My head hit the ground before she could reach me.

I was walking next to Candy, behind the group of Talons and ahead of Banter and his group. My chest was sore from where I’d been shot. Luckily for me, Lockpick had fed me a healing potion from my harness, else I wouldn’t be feeling anything now. I’d neglected telling Candy about it, to avoid needlessly worrying her, and she hadn’t commented about the bloodstain or the hole in my jumpsuit.

I still couldn’t believe I’d ignored such a severe wound. Tunnel vision had gotten the better of me, and that terrified me. How much closer would I keep getting to death until I stopped making all these stupid, reckless mistakes? I sighed, thinking back to the times I’d gotten hurt over the past three months.

First, there had been that raider fight. Back then, I didn’t really know how to use a weapon, but that wasn’t really my fault. My mistake had been to assume I could sneak up on them without getting noticed. My curiosity was also to blame.

Then, there had been the ghoul. I hadn’t been wary enough of something I didn’t know, and I hadn’t put enough faith in Candy. Had I been behind her, neither of us would have been hurt.

After that… the toads. I shuddered. My mistake had been… what? It wasn’t so obvious. I’d already thought about it. On the surface, the answer was simply that I’d practised magic when I shouldn’t have, but there had to be an underlying, more profound reason. I let my mind roam freely. The only deeper cause I could think of was curiosity. Maybe I did have a problem with that… Maybe impatience, too. Had I waited for Candy to wake up, or thought about it some more, I could have maybe avoided the whole fiasco.

Then, the sentry bot. That one was my biggest screw-up to date. Curiosity had played a big role in that one, but it wasn’t the only reason things turned out so badly. Overconfidence and ruthlessness certainly didn’t help. Had I not decided that I absolutely needed to know what was in the old Stable-Tec building, I would have been fine. If I had been more careful when walking around, I wouldn’t have gotten hurt. If I hadn’t assumed I could easily take out any of the hostiles on my EFS. Or even if I’d just thought my attack through properly, instead of blindly blasting the robot with explosives. There were several ways I could have coordinated my movement with Candy. I could hav—

Candy interrupted my train of thought. “You know, I’ve been thinking… I… I’d like to keep doing this. Being a positive influence on a region. We’re already killers. What difference would it make if we kill three or three dozen, if it means others won’t have to suffer?”

She took a short break to breathe, and I took the opportunity to cut her off, “Candy, I don’t want to play heroes.”

“No, no. I’m not exactly sure what that would entail, but it’s not my intention either. The wasteland doesn’t need well-meaning amateurs. The wasteland needs order. It’s what I realised when working with Gale. Ponies will stop doing terrible things to each other when there’s no more reason to do so. I want to join a group of mercenaries and help Equestria in a lasting way.”

I was fine with that. If we were compensated for our efforts, we could eventually retire with all the caps we’d made. “That’s more reasonable.” I telekinetically touched the sore spot on my chest and added, “I’d like to get some proper barding, though. At least something that would cover up my chest.” Stars above, Radheart would have to reopen the wound to dig out the bullet, wouldn’t she? Whatever, no point worrying about that now.

Candy sighed, then nodded, and soon silence blanketed our group again. The next day, we asked Gust if he wanted to hire us long term. As suspected, he didn’t really have any open spots. He said he could employ us two days a week at most.

When asked about what we could do instead, he gave us a contact. A griffin female by the name of Stern, who operated in the East. She worked with an earth pony stallion who was aiming to “build a new Equestria”. This was enough to convince Candy, and, by extension, myself.

Many weeks later, Candy and I were sitting on the roof of a ruined building at the outskirts of Manehattan. We’d hidden our caravan in the building’s garage, as per usual, and were now watching over the dimly lit ruins of the city. In the distance, a single building stood over everything else—Tenpony Tower.

Despite the late hour and the slight breeze, the temperature was still bearable. Of course, my patched up Stable-Tec jumpsuit helped. I’d taken off my saddlebags, helmet, and barding—light pieces of kevlar that only covered the most important parts of my body—and was enjoying how liberating it felt. I didn’t understand how Candy could wear her gear almost all the time.

The smell of dust hung in the air, as usual. It had only taken a few weeks for me to grow used to it. In fact, it was kind of a welcome change from the Detrot region’s mud and rotting grass.

The wind was just loud enough that it allowed me to ignore the ringing in my ear, but other than that, the night was quiet. All things considered, it was the perfect setting to relax.

It only made me more nervous. With how calm everything else was, the feeling of being watched threatened to drive me insane. No matter how many times I tried to push it aside, the unpleasant thought kept bubbling to the top of my sea of thoughts.

As we had started drawing closer and closer to Fillydelphia, I began having more and more doubts about this choice of career. Even with Gust’s recommendation, we’d be treated like the rookies we were, but that ultimately did not bother us.

No, what really tanked my confidence was my mental health. I sighed, taking a deep breath. “Hey, Candy?” I’d put off this conversation for long enough. Today would be the day.

“Hmm?”

“I’m… having second thoughts about this whole thing. Us being actual mercenaries and all.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll do fine. I’ve seen you shoot. We’re more than capable.” Even if that was true, it wasn’t why I was scared.

“No, Candy. I… I’ve been keeping secrets from you. Bad secrets.”

She turned to stare at me and gulped. “Have you… have you been taking mint-als?” Her voice was quiet, as if she was afraid to ask.

It took everything I had to shake my head. I could feel tears welling up. I didn’t want to admit this. I didn’t want to talk about this. I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to ask for help. I didn’t want to admit I was weak. I didn’t want to admit I was messed up. I— “Then what is it?” Her voice was again full of the same serene, caring worry that I loved so damn much. My tears started flowing.

“I’m not fine, Candy.” I tried to continue, but every time I opened my mouth, only sobs came out. Eventually, Candy placed a hoof on my withers. “I’m a bloodthirsty murderer!” I screamed into the night. “With each day, I’m only losing more of my Stars-damned sanity…”

She took my hoof into hers. “I’d like you to tell me more, sis.”

I thought for a long moment about what I wanted to tell her, and breathed in.

There was a lot to unpack, so I started with the least bad, but also the one that was most likely to make her despise me. “I… I… I enjoy killing. I see a pony’s skull blow up in a shower of gore and blood, and I’m happy. I don’t understand why. I like watching the fear in my enemies’ eyes when they know they’re about to die. I know it’s not normal. I know I shouldn’t feel this way. I know I’m a bad pony.” Tears were streaming down my face while I whimpered, “Please don’t hate me…”

To my surprise, she only pulled me into a hug. How was this mare so perfect? How could she accept me despite my cruelty? “Shh, it’s okay, Iron.” She caressed my back, holding me close. “A wise mare once told me; you aren’t your thoughts. The only thing that matters are your actions. Enjoying killing is not healthy, but if you haven’t killed for the fun of it, then things should be fine.” Uh oh.

“That’s the thing… I think I have. Back when we were taking care of those raiders. One of them… I think she had a change of heart. But… in the heat of the moment… I didn’t hesitate a second before slaughtering her.” No, that was terrible wording. That made it seem like I hadn’t known she wasn’t a threat. I was making it sound like I hadn’t shot her in the chest to hear her screams of agony. And yet… I didn’t dare correct myself. I was on thin ice. She still loved me. I had to keep it that way, no matter how terrible a pony I was in reality.

“She was a raider. Pony rules don’t apply to them. She accepted her fate the moment she turned towards that life.” Those were harsh words to hear from Candy, but she had her reasons. I shuddered. I couldn’t afford to give her a reason to hate me.

We stayed like this for a few more minutes, her gently brushing my back with her hooves while I worked up the courage to drop a bomb on her.

Eventually, I backed away from the hug. I’d told her what was most likely to upset her, now it was time to tell her what fucking terrified me. I would start with the most immediately distressing one. “There… there are other things I wanted to tell you. The scary part of all of this is that my bloodlust is the least of my mental problems.”

For a split second, her serene smile vanished, but she quickly corrected it. “What do you mean?” she calmly asked.

“I always feel watched. At first, it was just occasionally. I would feel like somepony was somewhere, observing me. With time, even when I wasn’t feeling observed, I still had the sneaking impression somepony might be stalking me. Now I can’t tell the two feelings apart. It’s eating me up on the inside.” I was shaking. I was crying. I wanted this to stop. I wanted another StealthBuck.

Candy gulped. “When… When did this start?” At least I wasn’t the only one who was concerned by my paranoia.

“Around the time we came close to Old Detrot. I was certain somepony was following us, but my PipBuck wasn’t confirming it. I figured I was hallucinating or imagining things.” Trying my best to stop my shaking and calm down, I set my gaze on the ruined skyline.

“How bad is it right now?”

“Extremely bad. It’s like somepony is standing on the roof with us. It’s what set off this entire conversation. If I didn’t know any better, I would think there’s somepony behind me.”

“My, my, how observant.” My entire body froze. Who— “We are most impressed with you, little one.”

“Who are you? Show yourself!” shouted Candy. I wanted to say something, do something, anything at all, but my body refused to move.

“Our name is of no importance to you.” When Candy gasped, I finally managed to turn around and see a huge blue figure. An alicorn. Princess Luna? No, she had died close to two centuries ago, and those colours weren’t quite right. But then why the royal We? She almost reminded me of that tall unicorn in New Detrot, but this mare was darker. “Come with Us, little one.”

“Why would I want to do that?” I asked defiantly, desperately trying to sound collected and unbothered.

The alicorn gave me a creepy attempt at a polite smile. “The Goddess accepts all who are gifted with magic as strong as yours. We originally meant to merely keep watch over you, and only take you in once you achieved finer control over your magic. However, your extraordinary sense rekindled Our interest in you.”

She had been the one watching me, and I'd just felt her presence? I wasn't crazy? No. I doubted she’d caused all this paranoia. Sometime along the way, I'd started hallucinating the feeling. I knew this because the sensation was less concrete sometimes than others, I just hadn't realised it until now. I'd been too convinced I was wrong to notice the threat.

Wait, was she a threat? The alicorn was shady, that much was certain, but she didn't seem to want to hurt me. If anything, this sounded like an offer. What would happen if I refused it, though?

“You still haven't told me why I should care,” I deadpanned.

“Because you do not really have a choice, little one,” she answered with a calm, dangerous smile. So my original impression had been correct.

“I… see… Can I just…?”

I pretended to check something on my PipBuck. Then, when it faced the right way, I blinded her using the flashlight. I unharnessed my shotgun, pouring ample magic into my grip to prevent her from ripping the firearm out of it. Alicorn or no, I wouldn't let her get away with threatening me.

Right before I could fire, my telekinesis was utterly and violently overwhelmed, sending a wave of pain through my horn. My weapon plummeted twenty storeys. Next, my harness was also stripped from me, following the same path as the gun.

Unarmed, I cowered. I was no match.

Candy charged the alicorn, who effortlessly threw her aside, making her hit the ground head-first. But Candy got up. Blood running down her face, she stared down the alicorn.

Bruised and beaten, she stood defiant. Her telekinesis reached for her shotgun. Don't! You're no match! I wanted to scream it, but I was frozen. I… I needed to go with the alicorn. “I…” I started, but it was too late. The blue glow overpowered the pink one, and turned the gun around.

“Stop!” I cried out, but my shout was drowned out by the roar of the shotgun. Candy stumbled backwards, but didn't fall on me.

Instead, she stood over me, her blood dripping seeping into my fur. She leaned on her left leg. “I won't let you have my sister!”

"Please, stop," I begged her, my voice weak. Neither of them heard me, or neither cared, and the alicorn shot again. Candy was pushed backwards once again, and her hind legs went over the edge.

Before she fell, I caught her right front hoof in my magic. She was heavy. Her armour and equipment added a lot of weight as well. No, I couldn't lose her! I poured everything into my telekinesis, and she stopped falling. I started pulling her up, blinding sparks flying from my horn. Pressing my eyes shut, I redoubled my efforts.

Suddenly, her weight dropped drastically. My stomach churned. Had I been holding only her PipBuck, only for it to come loose? Had she grabbed the ledge? Was she safe? I doubted it, but I wanted to believe it.

I opened my eyes, and saw that I was holding Candy Cane's detached leg in my telekinesis.

I screamed.

A flash of purple lit up the rooftop, and I felt the familiar currents of an incoming teleportation spell. Next thing I knew, I was enveloped by the same violet aura. I tried fighting it, but it was pointless. Opposing the currents directly was utterly impossible.

Then, the mysterious figure started channelling another teleportation spell. Again, I tried to cancel out the spell, only to be utterly overpowered. I had to save Candy. I had to. I knew she was still alive. If I gave her a healing potion or two, her wounds would close. We would set her broken bones, and she would be fine. I just needed to get out of this grasp.

As the purple mare’s cast came closer and closer to its end, I had a desperate idea. When the energy started travelling, I made my last-ditch effort. I pushed hard against the flow, redirecting it towards the tower's base, but she pushed back. For the second time tonight, I poured my all into my horn, and it hurt like it was about to break off. That didn't matter, though.

The spell popped, and everything went dark.

I couldn't see anything around me, and my EFS was empty. I could only stand there for stars knew how long, trying to grasp the situation as tears freely flowed down my cheeks.

I wailed.

Footnote:

New Perk: Teleportation Redirection — Your flawed way of teleporting has taught you how to forcibly redirect a teleportation spell to another location within the original range.