Fallout: Equestria — Foal of the Wastes

by oswak

Rating: mature
Tags: Fallout, Tragedy, Profanity, Non-consensual, Violence, Crossover, Death, Alternate Universe, Narcotics, Drama, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 280030

Back inside Stable 4, I was destined for greatness. Outside, I was nothing more than a filly. At the same time, I also seemed to fit in very well into the horribly violent Equestrian wasteland, more than you would expect from somepony my age.

My education was designed to prepare me for the difficult role of overmare.
What it didn’t prepare me for was life outside the stable.
And yet, despite the horrible dangers lurking everywhere, the Wasteland proved itself liberating, invigorating and fun.
If only it had stayed that way.

A slice of life drama in a world where daily life has a pony facing death on the regular.

Can be read without prior knowledge of Fallout: Equestria, though you'll miss certain references and this isn't the best introduction to the universe.
Huge thanks to Everfree Pony for editing it and sticking through my earlier attempts at writing.

Previously known as Fo:E — Mercenary Tale
A reading by Dreamless Portal can be found here (currently incomplete).
A google docs version can be found here.

Published 2020-06-20 14:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-11-25 21:42:30 UTC

Chapter 2 — Wings of Freedom

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 3 — Fit for the Wasteland

Chapter 3: First Encounter

I woke up from an incredibly restful night of slumber. It hadn’t been a good one, but it was hard to believe I’d slept so well given the circumstances. At first I’d been a bit surprised at the location I found myself in, but that quickly passed as I recalled yesterday's events.

My dreams had been filled with images and diagrams of guns. Pistols, submachine guns, shotguns, and rifles. Oh, the rifles were the best part. They were built for precision; the longer barrel allowed the bullets to gain more momentum from the gunpowder’s ignition and the air expansion that followed.

If only I’d known about them back in the stable… I definitely would have taken a rifle instead of the shotgun. There had been one right in front of me back in the armoury, and I'd ignored it.

Going back for it now was not an option, unless I managed to guess Arcane Spark’s password. She didn’t really sound like a pony whose password I could just guess—not that I was any good at that to begin with.

For a second I contemplated the option of returning to the stable door in the off-chance that somepony would eventually open it. In the next second, my mind reminded me of all the reasons I hadn’t done that. If I didn’t get incredibly lucky, I’d run out of water, then food, and I’d lose all hope of finding Mother, and besides—

Suddenly, something appeared in my peripheral vision. I sat up and turned my head, noticing the red bar on my EFS.

It was moving slowly, and didn’t seem to be heading directly for me, so a part of myself dared hope it wasn’t here for me. I moved my head left to right, and figured out it was at least a couple of metres away.

I unholstered my pistol before recalling something from The Mechanical Wonders of Firearms. I put the gun away and instead gripped the shotgun with my magic. That thing was apparently very destructive in close quarters, according to the book. Much more so than a pistol.

I slowly opened the door. The red mark showed no reaction to that. Maybe it’s another one of those bloatsprites… Heck, I hope not.

I peeked my head around the corner and saw… nothing. This luckily meant it was outside the house. I carefully walked into the room, and the bar moved behind the kitchen wall.

Glancing through the window, I spotted the most hideous creature I’d ever encountered. Admittedly that didn’t mean much considering I’d only seen ponies and bloatsprites.

It was furless, but its hide was a normal colour. It had sharp and long front teeth, but they weren’t pointy canines like a carnivore’s, just flat and thin. Worse, it noticed me. I quickly figured out it wasn’t very smart, as it tried to jump at me, but ended up thumping against the wall.

I unlocked then opened the front door, and the thing just stayed behind the wall. I tried walking out and immediately stepped on what had to be the single creakiest plank in the entirety of Equestria. Of course, the horrible creature started running the moment it heard me.

It turned the corner, and ended up in ideal shotgun range, so I clicked the SATS button on my PipBuck. The creature was apparently a mole rat. I queued up my single shot at its chest and let the spell work its magic.

I watched as a spray of metal left my gun and shredded the creature’s face and body. Thankfully, its blood was red and normal, not like whatever that bug was made of. This gore didn’t gross me as much as the sprite’s, but it didn’t amuse me like my father’s had, either.

Whatever. I closed the door in front of the mole rat's corpse and headed back to the bedroom. I was awake and didn’t have much time to waste. I needed to catch up with Mother, and I was really running low on food and water.

Hungry, I considered emptying another one of my cans, but decided against it. I didn’t know how long they needed to last. I’d never had to ration my food like this, but I’d read about it. Instead, I used the bathroom, then put on my saddlebags, ready to leave.

As I trotted out of the room, I noticed a spark near the table. I moved my head back and spotted a small sphere reflecting the ambient light. Curious, I approached it and picked it up with my telekinesis.

I blinked and suddenly felt tired. I found myself in a room with grey concrete walls. They reminded me of the stable’s, but weren’t similar at all past their colour. In contrast, these walls were flat, and the concrete didn’t contain any metal at all.

I could see a window to my left. I tried to move my head to get a better look, but my body didn’t respond. Instead, I turned the other way. What is this place? Is this a dream? Wasn’t I just somewhere completely different?

My eyes looked at the table in front of me and locked onto the cup sitting on it. The distinct smell of coffee hit my nostrils, and I felt my horn glow, pink magic enveloping the mug. My magic wasn’t pink, though. It was red. Right?

I floated the drink over to my lips and took a sip. The dark liquid smelled great, and I could feel its heat even before it reached my tongue. When it did, I found out the taste was bitter, and only had disappointing aftertones of the smell. No wonder Mother never drank it, unlike other grown-ups.

I frowned and looked towards a small bowl with a spoon sticking out of it. My pink aura enveloped the spoon, lifting it towards the cup and losing some of the sugar along the way. I groaned, then sighed, but didn’t do anything about the grains now littering the table. I repeated the motion for two additional spoonfuls of sugar, this time not spilling any.

The more this went on, the more confused I was. I wasn’t doing those actions, was I? I wasn’t in control of my body. Who was, then? What the heck is going on?

My telekinesis stirred the sugar into the black liquid. I dreaded drinking more, but couldn’t stop the motion. With the sugar I’d just added, it was still just as bitter, but at least each swig rewarded me with a sweet aftertaste, almost making it worth drinking.

An idea crossed my mind, and I concentrated on pushing the mug away, but it always stayed near my mouth, occasionally floating up to allow me a sip. So I can’t even influence my body in the slightest way.

Despite my best efforts, I finished the cup and stood up from the chair I’d been sitting on. When had I even sat down? I trotted to the front door and attempted to open it. To my surprise, it didn’t budge. Unbothered, I turned towards a couch and lifted a purse from it and onto my neck. I opened it and saw a wallet, a brush, and a keyring. Content, I closed it again.

Then I felt myself channel magic again. This time it wasn’t simple telekinesis. The amount of power that coursed through my horn was much higher than you would normally commit to levitation.

It was also much more elaborate than any of my basic spells. The way I herded energy ever so slightly reminded me of my tool conjuring spell, but only certain parts. The rest felt completely nonsensical; like a labyrinth of unrelated corridors, some of which eventually merged before splitting again.

In an instant, the channel finished, and the world turned hot pink for a split second before returning to duller colours. When my eyes adjusted, I noticed I was out on the street. Since when do I know teleportation‽

I felt a pleasant warmth on my right side. I meant to turn to it, but instead I started walking the other way. While the buildings were all equally boring shades of black, white, and grey, they were illuminated by the most beautiful and pure light that apparently came from behind me. I really wanted to turn and look at it, but instead, my legs simply carried me forward.

Some ponies walked on the road, pulling carts behind them. Others, like myself, trotted on the sidewalk. It reminded me of when stable ponies would move around the corridors in groups, though I was confident there were more individuals here than I’d ever seen at once.

Suddenly, a pony flew above me, and I lifted my head just in time to see a white pegasus disappear from my vision. When I levelled my gaze, I noticed something odd. I was as tall as the other adults on the crowded avenue.

This walk continued on for several more minutes, giving me time to properly process the situation. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t do anything to influence my actions. Was this some kind of fever dream? Was I just disconnected with the rest of my mind, the one that was walking away from this source of warmth and light? Was I still me? Did anything about my life actually exist? Did Stable 4 still exist? Did I still exist? Was I some sort of spectre lost in the aether?

My line of increasingly panicked thoughts came to a stop as I arrived in front of a building. The sign on its front side read “Stable-Tec R&D”. So at least Stable-Tec exists. When I approached it, the automatic doors opened, inviting me inside.

I set my eyes on an empty desk in the middle of the large entrance room; it had a sign labelled “Reception”. I advanced towards it, rang the little bell sitting on it, and ended up waiting for a few long minutes until a voice called out, “Miss Arcane Spark?”

I turned towards it and spotted a white-coated pegasus with a pink and black mane. Was she the same I’d seen outside earlier?

Now, if feeling myself cast magic had been a slightly odd experience, hearing and feeling myself speak was downright bizarre. “Yeah, that’s me. How can I help you?” I blurted out in a voice that I recognised as not my own. I could feel a forced smile on my muzzle.

The other mare let out a short giggle, smiled and replied, “That’s my line.” She pointed to the desk. “I’m the receptionist, I’m just late today. Anyway, I’m supposed to show you around, Miss Arcane Spark.”

“Please, just Spark is fine.” The smile on my face grew genuine, and my mind finally recognised the voice. It belonged to the pony in the recording, but sounded happier and much lighter.

I started putting together the pieces of this puzzle. I was viewing the memory of a long dead mare, somehow. I didn’t know how exactly, but I suspected it was a spell built into that weird orb I’d tried picking up. Some sort of memory-viewing talisman?

During my reflection, the two mares had continued their conversation, and the receptionist walked towards her desk. She dug into a drawer and pulled out a small sign engraved with the text “Be Right Back” onto it, before placing it on the table.

She motioned to me—Arcane Spark?—to follow her, and left towards the back of the building. Spark followed her, eyes briefly locking onto her rump before abruptly looking away. I had trouble understanding why. Apparently, adults have always been odd, even before the war.

What I paid attention to was the pair of wings adorning her sides. I’d never seen a pegasus before. I’d read about them, but actually seeing one in person wasn’t the same as a textual description. Well, I suppose I still haven’t seen one in person, since I’m not currently myself.

The two walked around in the building, the pegasus would show Spark a room and tell her about it. There’d been an employee lounge, a meeting room, and many other insignificant places. Whenever the two would make eye contact, I could feel Spark’s heartbeat quicken. Even more so when the alabaster mare smiled.

Was that love? Kind of underwhelming, actually. Finally, the two arrived at a closed door, and the receptionist said, “And this would be your office. Feel free to ask me if you need anything else. Reception is number zero on the phone.”

Spark nodded, then asked, “You haven’t told me your name, miss…”

“Zephyr Aurora, pleasure to meet you,” she replied.

“Likewise,” I heard Spark say.

Then I blinked, and I was back in the hut in the forest. I looked at the black orb on the ground, then approached and rolled it over with my hoof, noticing the label stuck to it. The paper was yellowed and the text faded, so much that I could barely make it out. I squinted and read ‘1st day job + meet Aurora’.

The experience had been confusing and very discomforting. I decided I would never willingly subject myself to it again. The idea of not being able to control my body while staying fully conscious was incredibly scary, and I’d come very close to experiencing it with that orb. Still, the memory itself was very interesting, and I felt a strange curiosity. I wanted to learn more about Arcane and how she’d lost her spark.

I glanced over at the skeleton, feeling oddly melancholic. Yesterday it had been easy to dismiss her as just one of the millions of ponies who’d died during the war. Even in the stable it was easy to distance myself from the occasional dead pony every other month.

The only death that had somewhat impacted me had been Candy’s father’s. The usually happy mare had stopped smiling as much, and eventually started visiting less and less, before finally stopping altogether.

And yet, somehow, Arcane’s death felt even more personal. Maybe because I’d literally been in her body? I suspected that had to be part of the reason, if not the entirety of it. I didn’t like it one bit; I had more important things to think about than the fate of some Stable-Tec mare.

As much as I wanted to leave right now, I still couldn’t bring myself to willingly forget her. I took her memory orb and placed it into my saddlebags—this time with my mouth and not magic—and started moving.

I was halfway out the front door when I decided to pack the quilt too—despite its holes it had kept me warm during the night.

The trip downhill had been uneventful so far. It was the same zig-zaggy road I’d had to follow from the stable down. The only thing that had happened was I’d found and killed another mole rat. I’d also encountered another bloatsprite, but didn’t bother shooting at it. Not worth the bullets, and I didn’t want to see it burst into a shower of grossness. I ended up reading the first aid manual, levitating it in front of me as I walked.

Eventually, my surroundings became progressively obscured by fog. Eventually, it was thick enough that I couldn’t see further than maybe ten metres. I couldn’t help but be reassured by the return of a more familiar scale of distances.

What did not reassure me, however, were the occasional red bars deep in the fog. I could tell they were far away, but I had no idea what they were, which worried me. I could easily deal with mole rats and bloatsprites—even though I really hated the latter—but the unknown scared me.

The first unidentified red bar set the tone for the rest of my walk. Apprehensive, I never loosened my magical grasp on my shotgun, even when there were no markers at all.

It was strange; near the stable, I’d felt lost and vulnerable. On the other hoof, I really appreciated being able to tell which creature an EFS bar belonged to.

Down here, though? I felt both claustrophobic and vulnerable.

Luckily, nothing actually ended up jumping out at me.

Several dreadful hours later, I started hearing gunshots and yelling in the distance, somewhere in front of me. As I continued following the road, four red bars blinked into existence on my EFS. It looked like they were in the forest, and that I likely could just avoid them by continuing on my way.

My mind raced off into several different directions at once. Part of me was curious and wanted to see what kinds of ponies they were. Their presence meant the outside wasn’t deserted! I wasn’t alone, and I wanted to know who lived out here!

After a gunshot, one of them cried out, “Can you stop missing, you horny cunt?” to which another yell replied, “And can you shut the fuck up?” What is it with adults and crude language? Do you guys really need to swear every other sentence?

On the other hoof, this outburst, as well as the fact that their bars were an angry red encouraged me to fear for my safety. If I approached them, I’d likely get attacked.

I winced as I realised another part of me wanted them to attack me, just to give me a pretext for blowing holes through their skulls. I wanted to see somepony’s brains fly about like Concerto’s had. I shook my head, as if that would help me chase away those thoughts. I had more important things to set my mind on.

Finally, I decided to avoid them. I didn’t know how well they were armed, and I didn’t like risking my life out of pure curiosity. As I continued down the road, I saw the trees on the side start to thin. I was approaching a clearing, and the bars were also nearby. As my luck would have it, it turned out that I couldn’t easily avoid them.

Given how close one of them was, I decided to slow down my pace and carefully take each of my steps, to prevent my hooves from clacking on the concrete. I hoped the fog was thick enough to conceal me as I walked by.

I froze in place as I realised that sneaking around would be much harder up here. Ponies were definitely used to looking at their PipBucks’ EFS. Why would they not? It was so much more convenient when you didn’t have to worry about verticality.

The thought was terrifying. I hated having to rely on my luck, but now it seemed like the only way to get past them would be if they were too busy with… whatever they were doing to notice me.

I slowly trotted forward, staring at where the marks were. Emerging into the clearing, I immediately saw the shape of a pony, partly obscured by the fog. I could hardly make out his or her features, but I could tell they weren’t facing me.

I took another look around, and noticed the outline of a building. It had to be next to the road, right? Another shot rang out. Curiosity got the best of me, and I approached the pony closest to me, who turned out to be a light brown buck.

I could see he wore black leather barding covered with tens of shiny metal spikes. Sticking out from the sides of his muzzle was a long matte metallic bar with a bend at each end.

His left ear was mostly missing, and only the crescent shaped base remained. Had it been blown off by something round? To my utter surprise, he did not seem to be wearing a PipBuck. Maybe they just weren’t as common up here? Anyway, I turned my attention to the other bars.

In the distance, I could see the silhouette of a pony and some large… non-pony pushing against each other. A few metres away from them, a unicorn was levitating a rifle. She wasn’t aiming properly, she wasn’t even looking down the barrel! The mare was just floating the gun next to her, roughly pointing in the direction of the animal. I didn’t have much experience aiming weapons outside of SATS, but even I knew this! That’s what the iron sights were supposed to help with!

Naturally, the only one to notice when I tripped on a branch was mister Metal Bar, who turned around immediately.

His eyes locked onto me, and he laughed maniacally before charging. The look on his face told me he wanted to hurt me. That he would hurt me. My mind flashed the memory of my father in front of the stable.

No. I wouldn’t let this buck hurt me.

Did he seem sadistic? Yes. Was he dangerous? Also yes. Was he smart? Definitely not. Why would you charge the pony with a shotgun?

I activated SATS and queued my one shot to his face. I considered aiming for his chest, but I couldn’t tell how well the pellets would pierce through the thick leather, and I didn’t have the luxury to experiment.

I released the spell and giggled gleefully as the buckshot turned his head into red confetti. A distant part of me screamed this wasn’t a normal reaction to the situation, but because the sound of my shot had alerted the other two, I swiftly ignored it and bolted for the road.

I ran as fast as my legs would allow. Trying to escape back up the mountain would have been foolish, so instead I ran towards the building. When I arrived at its corner, I heard a gunshot, and one of the red bars winked out. The unicorn had finally somehow hit the creature.

Then, one of them started moving closer and closer, and I could hear a pony running towards the corner of the building. I reloaded a shell into my weapon. I would use SATS to kill her as soon as she turned the corner.

I waited a few seconds until the bar came into the centre of my vision, and clicked the button right as I saw the tip of her gun—this idiot was levitating it way ahead of her, giving me ample time to react. SATS, however, didn’t activate. Instead, the bar under my EFS just flashed red. It needed time to recharge! Of course, how did I not think of that?

Luckily for me, it seemed like the mare hadn’t expected me to wait around the corner—she wasn’t wearing a PipBuck either. I lifted my shotgun a little, and without following my own advice on aiming, pulled the trigger. It wasn't like the buckshot needed surgical precision.

Because I’d badly aimed my shot, it hadn’t completely confettified her skull—just the right side of her face. This, however, was still enough to make her drop the rifle. She would die like this anyway, but I didn't want to risk it. I let go of my shotgun and grabbed her rusted firearm instead. I swiftly put a bullet straight through her left eye and the marker faded.

I barely had the time to rejoice in the sight in front of me before I noticed the sound of hoofsteps on concrete behind me, as well as the red bar that accompanied them.

I immediately realised my mistake and its implications. I spun around to see a pony wielding a shovel, running at full speed towards me. I tried to shoot him with the rifle, but it just harmlessly clicked, no matter how much I pulled the trigger. Fear flashed through my brain, momentarily locking me in place and making me lose precious fractions of a second.

The stallion moved closer and closer with each second I wasted. Panicking, I fumbled for my pistol. When I finally had it in my telekinetic grasp, he was close enough to slash at me.

I threw my head back just in time to narrowly avoid the tip of his weapon. Unfortunately for me, my chest was still well within its trajectory, and a burning pain scorched my nerves as it sliced my skin open.

I screamed, vision blurring with tears. I aimed the pistol in front of me and fired blindly until I emptied the magazine. I couldn’t tell how many shots had landed, or how badly I’d injured him, but given that I was still alive, I dared hope he was at least incapacitated.

I spun around again, turned the corner and hysterically searched my bag for my healing potion. I levitated it out of the bag, only to have it swatted to the concrete ground with a shovel. You ruffian! Do you know how much this hurts‽ I wanted to scream at him, but my mouth wouldn’t open.

The villain poked his head around the corner and, after seeing the look on my face, started laughing. Fuelled by the blazing agony, my fury flared, and I picked up the shotgun to cave his ugly face in.

My vision turned red as my magic lit up the fog. Chunks of skull flew all around him, some of them landing in my mane and face. Too frenzied to care, I didn’t notice when his bar disappeared.

I just kept hitting him until his head was reduced to a crimson pulp.

Regaining my senses, I had an idea. Maybe I could levitate the liquid off the road… I attempted it, and managed to gather several droplets of the pink liquid. In total, I had less than a tenth of the bottle’s contents, but it was better than nothing. Some of it had mixed with the stallion’s blood, but I was past caring about that.

I applied it directly to the wound—like the manual had suggested—and sighed as the pain lessened the slightest bit. It seemed to have stopped the bleeding, but the wound still hurt tremendously. I applied a magical bandage as well as I managed—a tricky task, considering that the wound was practically vertical.

I then gathered my things and winced at my shotgun’s condition. The chamber was jammed open and gunked up with blood and brains, and the trigger and its guard had broken off completely.

I swapped my pistol’s magazines, but didn’t feel like reloading the empty one just yet. I considered searching the unicorn’s body for rifle ammunition, but couldn’t bring myself to kneel down, as that would put stress on my wound.

I needed to find a place to rest, and I hoped the inside of the building was calm enough for me to do so. I walked around it and noticed a railway track. It ran parallel to this side’s wall, crossing the road. A single wooden platform followed the track, covered by the building’s roof.

Spotting a door that led inside, I trotted towards it, and as it creaked open, a terrible waft hit my nostrils. The stench made me retch, but thankfully my stomach didn’t contain anything I could actually throw up. As disgusting as it was, it somehow still fell short of how vile exploding bloatsprites were.

Once my initial shock faded, the reason for the smell became apparent. The room was decorated to the brim with guts, limbs, and pony heads, all in varying levels of rot. While part of me appreciated the aesthetic of the decor, the rest screamed about how unhygienic this was. Again, a tiny voice screeched something was wrong with me.

Benches—some broken, some relatively intact—lined the side of the room. All the windows to the outside had been boarded shut, and the majority of the light came from the open entrance.

To my right, two doors led to bathrooms. To my left, a counter had been built into the wall, and I could see into the room behind it through the empty doorframe. Inside, three unbelievably dirty mattresses lay on the wooden floor.

As much as I didn’t want to lie down on something this filthy, the wound on my chest begged me to rest, and the floor wasn’t a better option.

I closed the entrance door and turned on my PipBuck light, before walking into the employee booth. There, I started telekinetically flipping the mattresses, hoping to determine which was the most usable. My choice was quickly made, as the middle one’s underside had at least one spot that was still vaguely a shade of white.

In the corner closest to the counter, I spotted a device I recognised as a spark generator, with an electric heater hooked up to it, and a few spark batteries lying around. I couldn’t tell which were empty, but something told me they weren’t all usable.

On this side of the counter I could see the sickly green glow of a terminal. I would check out the batteries and terminal later; for now I needed to lie down.

I pulled out my quilt and spread it out over the mattress, then made myself as comfortable as my wound allowed me. Oh, how I wished I could escape my senses, to just shut them down. How I wished I could just skip forward in time and start moving and get away from this foul-smelling place.

Then it hit me. When I’d experienced Arcane Spark’s memory, I hadn’t felt the hard wooden floor underneath me. My senses had been completely overridden by the spell, hadn’t they? Well, maybe it could block out the worst? Regardless, it was worth a try. As much as the spell had made me uneasy, it still hadn’t been nearly as bad as I currently felt.

I pulled out the memory talisman from my saddlebags. If my hunch was correct, I was about to escape my senses for some time. I couldn’t tell how long, but I wanted to find out. I mentally took note of the starting time.

I focused my magic on the orb and delighted as the pain and stench suddenly disappeared with a blink. Again, the bitter liquid betrayed its smell, and again the strange magic came together as a teleport. Again, I was unable to look at the sun, and again I experienced Spark falling in love with Aurora.

Then I blinked, and everything bad came back. The air hitting my nostrils made me nauseous, and the ache in my chest caused me to wince. I couldn’t tell how much the pain had lessened, if at all, but I felt cold. I moved to the side of the blanket, and pulled the rest of it over myself, in an attempt to escape the grime and the chill.

Slightly less cold, I checked my PipBuck for the time and noted that only half an hour had passed. Thirty-three minutes, to be exact. While that wasn’t amazing, it was still decent enough for me. I couldn’t help but wonder if the time spent in the memory would change after repeated use, but I was going to find out anyway.

I considered dropping into the memory right away, but the idea of waking up to the smell again gave me pause. The shock just wasn’t worth it.

I turned my head to the left and took a good look at the boards covering the windowsill. Very weak light came through the gaps in the wood, but I needed to turn on my PipBuck lamp to see the details.

On each side of the plank, two nails held it in place. I concentrated on the top left one, pulling and twisting my telekinesis around it. I poured more and more energy into the spell, until my horn glowed brighter than my PipBuck, and the metal slowly came out.

I repeated the process with the three remaining ones and caught the board as it fell. The fresh air coming through the gap reminded me just how glad I was to be a unicorn. Magic was just such a useful tool, and I couldn’t imagine my life without it.

I wanted to rip the other boards off the window and open the front door to create a draft, but that would leave me much too vulnerable to wild animals like the one these ponies had fought.

A big one could probably just rip me to shreds before eating me, and I wouldn’t even notice it spread my guts on the floor. I gulped. That had not been a pleasant mental image and it made the fire in my chest flare.

I turned to the talisman and let myself get carried away into the memory once more. This time, I paid even closer attention to how her magic formed the teleportation spell. The more I focused, the less it made sense.

Before I knew it, it was over, and I was waiting impatiently for the memory to finish. Not because I was in a hurry to return to the world of pain, but because I wanted to take another look at the spell.

As I snapped back to reality, I regretted not keeping track of the starting time. Disappointment filled me as I checked the time, and noticed that thirty-one minutes had passed since I’d last exited the talisman.

With the fresh air in the room, waking up hadn’t been nearly as awful as previously, but my torso ached enough to motivate me to use the orb once more. The only downside to this approach was that the memory was starting to be really boring, though that was partly offset by the fact I was very curious about the spell. I desperately wanted to understand it now; it was like a challenging puzzle, and I wanted to solve it.

I repeated the cycle a few more times. Spell. Boredom. Twenty-eight minutes. Spell. Boredom. Twenty-six minutes. Spell. Boredom. Twenty-five minutes. Spell. Boredom. Twenty-three minutes.

Then, finally, the pain in my chest became more bearable than the boredom in the orb. I’d spent three hours in and out of Spark’s memory, and seen it seven times in total, and I was done with it for now.

I practically knew the teleportation spell by heart, but I still didn’t understand it. I had all the pieces, but they simply were not coming together.

The manual had suggested swapping bandages for severe wounds every two to three hours. While I couldn’t tell how severe my wound was, I could definitely tell I wanted it to heal as quickly as possible. I undid my current bandage, and applied a fresh one.

I wanted to continue looking for Mother, but I knew I didn’t have much time until night fell. Especially with the heavy fog, it was starting to be too dark to see. The best option for now seemed to be to stay here until the morning.

The stench didn’t seem nearly as bad as originally—either because I’d gotten used to it, or because the gap had brought in enough fresh air. Maybe a mix of both.

Despite that, if I was going to stay here for the night, I could at least do myself the favour of cleaning up the chunks of flesh littered about in the room.

I was pretty certain they were the source of the low air quality, after all. I stood up and equipped my harness, but left my saddlebags next to the mattress. No point carrying around the extra weight.

My chest still throbbing with a dull ache, I walked around the room and formed a ball of gore in my telekinetic grasp. I avoided looking too closely at it, as some of the rotting meat had maggots crawling all over it.

How could these ponies live like this? It was beyond my comprehension. I could understand why they liked the aesthetic, but this was straight up unhealthy!

I sighed. I knew this wasn’t the normal way to react to such things, and yet I didn’t really care. I’d read books about ponies passing out when they saw blood. Meanwhile, watching a pony’s skull get blown to pieces amused me. Maybe it was because I was extraordinary.

Midway through clearing the room, I realised I couldn’t carry any more, and that I would need to make at least two trips. I left the building, the grotesque ball of guts and worms floating behind me.

I briefly considered dropping it off in the grass or on the tracks, but realised there might be carnivores in the forest. I didn’t want to attract them this close to where I would sleep.

Although… they hadn’t seemed to really notice the smell before, so maybe I would be fine? I thought about it a few more seconds before deciding safe was better than sorry. I then walked over to the forest and dumped the ball there.

When I came back from my second trip, I noticed a severed pony head in a corner where I’d missed it prior. Because it was too heavy to add to my current orb of gore, I had to leave it there for now, potentially forcing me to make a fourth trip.

When I came back, I didn’t feel like walking the distance yet again, so I started wondering how far I could throw the head.

As I was about to attempt it with brute, magical force, an idea crossed my mind. I moved my telekinetic focus to only the mane, and moved it around. Like this, I could probably throw it much further than if I held it entirely. I swung it three fourths of a circle and released it, watching its curved trajectory.

The head landed on the concrete, and bounced much higher than I had been expecting before landing underneath a tree. The sheer weirdness of the rebound caught me off guard, and I started giggling uncontrollably.

In my head, the motion repeated. Something about a pony head bouncing like a sports ball was unfathomably funny to me. My chest burned and I sat down before my legs had a chance to give out from laughter.

Several minutes of nigh-maniacal guffaw later, I started regaining my composure and stood up from the concrete. I walked over to the two corpses and inspected them, my wounded chest complaining every time I knelt.

The shovel pony didn’t have anything of value on him. For some reason, he had five bottle caps in his armour’s pocket. Somehow, my thoughts returned to the bouncy head, and I snorted.

I shook my head and turned my attention to Miss Rifle. After rapidly finding the ammunition for the hunting rifle—five measly bullets that my PipBuck categorised as ‘.22LR, subsonic’—I discovered some more bottle caps. What had I stumbled upon, the Ponicidal Bottlecap Collector Club?

I left the barding on both of them. There was no way it would fit me without significant modifications that I simply did not have the tools for. I trotted towards Confetti-Brains, curious to see if he too had a passion for caps. I found that he indeed did. As expected, he didn’t have anything actually useful.

What was surprising, however, was that neither of those three had any money on them. Not one bit between the three of them. There were four possibilities I could think off at the top of my mind. One: They had been very poor. Two: They simply didn’t need money out here. Three: All their money was hidden somewhere in their house. Four: Equestrian Bits were no longer the main currency, and only Stable 4 still used them.

One was unlikely, given that they seemed to regularly kill other ponies. This pointed to two, as that would mean nopony had money. I still needed to double check the building in case of three. Four I could exclude, because they didn’t have anything on them. Wait no, that’s not correct.

They didn’t have much except bottle caps. Could it be…? Could it be that the new currency was simple caps? The idea sounded ridiculous, but part of my brain wanted to believe it. Just in case, I took Confetti’s and the rest of the PBCs’—Ponicidal Bottlecap Collectors—caps.

They were light and fit effortlessly into my bags. Besides, I could always throw them away if they turned out to be worthless.I just hoped this wasn’t the first step to me becoming a hoarder.

When I returned to the Foal MT Train Station—that was what my PipBuck had labelled the building—I left the front door open, hoping to clear out the air further.

I would close it and put the board back on the window before going to sleep, but for now I would be content closely watching my EFS while I passed time. My plan for fresher air seemed promising, as I could feel a slight draft across the room. As for now, I needed to figure out how to pass time. It was still too early for bed, and I wanted to let the building air out first.

I spent a quarter of an hour looking through the now much cleaner building. I found two locked first aid kits—one in each of the bathrooms—and some pre-war food in plastic packaging under the benches. I left the food alone—opening those packages would likely stink up the place even more—and hoped to find a key for the first aid kits. I knew it was possible to pick a lock, but I’d never read into it much.

As I returned to my makeshift bedroom, I inspected that as well. I opened the counter’s drawer, and was pleased to find my favourite mint candy in it. While my appetite had been stifled by the putrid smell, I did want to get rid of the dull taste in my mouth, and this would help with that.

I levitated one of the mints into my mouth and let it slowly melt on my tongue. Freshness overtook my mouth and even my breath, overwhelming the foetid air. Without the terrible waft, I felt my mind grow clearer and my senses sharper, although I suspected the sugar also played a large part in it as well, as it always did.

I looked around the room again and noticed a padlock in the corner furthest from the entrance. As I approached it, I noticed it was holding a trapdoor shut. Maybe that’s where they hid their money? But then, how did they open it? I hadn’t found anything resembling a key on any of the three ponies. I decided to take one last look around before accepting they were simply not anywhere here.

I ventured outside once again, to double-check the corpses. Maybe the ponies had put them in some of the tiny pockets? I stripped each of the ponies of their barding, and checked all the little nooks. Still nothing.

I decided to take one of the sets of barding. While it wouldn’t fit me without significant modifications, Mother would surely appreciate it. Though I suspected she’d find it tasteless at best—but I knew she understood the importance of safety.

I returned inside, spiked leather barding floating beside me. Opening my saddlebags, I stuffed it in the left one. Turning to the right one, I took a look at my literature collection.

I could finish The Mechanical Marvels of Firearms, or I could skim through the Big Book of Arcane Science in hopes of finding out more about the teleportation spell, but my brain seemed to be in the mood for some lighter reading, despite how focused the candy made me feel.

Even the pre-war novels felt like too much of an effort to get into. This left me with both of the magazines. I wasn’t interested in learning about spell matrices, but Beyond Your Imagination appealed to me.

I sat down on the least dirty mattress, wrapped myself in my blanket, and turned on my PipBuck’s flashlight.

I started skimming through the thin magazine and ended up skipping the first section entirely. It was dedicated to magical news from all around Equestria, and I doubted almost two century old “news” would be of any use to me.

The second section, however, was dedicated to everyday spells. Most of them I had no intention of learning, but reading about them was interesting nonetheless. To my surprise, I even found my polishing spell on page twenty-four. It made sense, as the spell was an extension of telekinesis—this issue’s primary theme.

I continued reading, casually keeping tabs on my EFS. I eventually arrived at the article teased on the front page. For some reason I couldn’t quite grasp, somepony had decided to put it at the very end of the magazine. If it was an attempt to make one read the entire magazine, it didn’t make much sense. Couldn’t you just skip to the end anyway?

As I made my way through the article, I slowly started losing interest. The so-called ‘tips and tricks’ were obvious. “If trying to lift or move a particularly large object, you might find it helpful to instead focus your magic on a smaller part instead of trying to spread it over the entire surface. It takes the mental load off of you.” Yeah. Thank you. It’s not like every single foal with a horn knows this… I mentally chided.

Eventually, I managed to push past the self-evident, and the article slowly became interesting. “Keep in mind that moving an object is done with respect to your own position and momentum. In other words, moving a fork at 50km/h is nigh-impossible for most unicorns, but becomes trivially easy if you’re dining in a train’s restaurant wagon.”

In hindsight, this made perfect sense, but I just hadn’t ever thought of it before. It was probably related to why self-levitation was so difficult, but the magazine didn’t mention anything about that. I left the thought in the ‘speculation’ status.

The last paragraph, however, was where the truly interesting bit could be found. “You will likely have noticed that your telekinesis is never perfectly steady. It’s indeed very difficult to produce a perfect levitation field that would allow pure stillness.” Wow, way to overcomplicate a simple sentence.

“The astute amongst you might now realise that it is caused in part by the relative nature of telekinesis. In other words, the small imperfections in your grip are caused by your body’s various movements. If you start paying close attention, and cancel out the motions accordingly, you should be able to achieve telekinetic stability that will impress your friends! Of course, it takes practice and feeling, so you won’t be great at it immediately, but keep at it, and it will eventually become second nature.”

I immediately tried on the magazine floating in my telekinesis, but the air currents prevented me from observing any results.

Floating the hunting rifle off my harness, I made another attempt. The denser and heavier object seemed much less phased by the wind, and I could see how unsteady my telekinesis really was.

I’d always known it wasn’t perfect, but now that I was actively looking for it, it seemed so much worse; I was aware of every single tremble going across the gun. Although, I had a hard time perceiving my own movements. I felt perfectly still, and yet my telekinesis wasn’t. An idea crossed my mind.

Curious about the effect it would have on my telekinesis, I tried holding my breath. I noticed the shaking diminish. As I started breathing again, I could really feel and see how it affected my grip on the rifle, and I was able to visualise how to move the gun to cancel out the effects. While it took the entirety of my concentration, the firearm stayed much steadier than before.

I repeated the exercise a few more times, until I finally felt like I roughly had the hang of it. It wasn’t easy and definitely not second nature, but it was something I could practice regularly from now on.

I couldn’t think of any practical situation where it would come in handy—it wasn’t like I would be performing surgery—but the skill definitely sounded potentially useful. Plus, learning it would be lots of fun!

My attention returned to the physical world, and I set my gaze on the rifle. I’d stared at it for so long that I’d had ample time to discern just how bad of a shape it was in.

A layer of rust coated the entire weapon. I’d noticed when placing it in my saddlebags that my PipBuck considered it practically broken—according to the ‘condition’ bar in my inventory tab—but until now I didn’t realise how terribly the gun had been maintained. So if it was practically broken, taking it apart couldn’t break it more, could it? I felt a sudden itch to do just that…

Focusing my magic, I undid one screw after the other, trying to actively remember where they belonged. I could have just used my screwdriver, but I liked the idea of practising one of my new skills.

I stripped the rifle to its smallest components, setting them down on the floor. I was almost done when I suddenly shuddered. I’d been so engrossed in my task that I hadn’t noticed how cold it had gotten. Even with the quilt on my back, the draft was frigid. This was probably the right time to get this place ready for the night, even if I wouldn’t immediately go to sleep.

I went and closed the door. As an additional precaution, I slowly levitated one of the heavy benches in front of it, hoping to create a passable—or rather impassable—blockade.

Next, I attempted to nail the board back on the window. My magic was able to push the nails halfway back into the holes it had ripped them out of, but any further required more force than I could muster.

Apparently I needed a shock, more like a hammer, to truly beat the rusted steel back into place. Luckily for me, I had a now-useless hunk of metal that had previously been a fine shotgun. It proved itself a worthy replacement for a hammer.

Currents of cold air taken care of, I made myself comfortable again and turned my focus back to the dismantled gun in front of me. Before attempting to reassemble it, I could try to polish each of the parts with my magic.

Maybe that could help make it run more smoothly. Certainly some of those mechanical joints would grind a bit less if smoothed.

So, one by one, I polished the pieces. Thankfully, the spell worked quickly, only needing a minute for the smaller pieces, and two–three for the larger ones, like the barrel, handle or receiver.

Now it’s time for the hard part, I thought, levitating all the puzzle pieces in front of myself. The process turned out surprisingly straightforward, though. Even though I only remembered where some of the pieces were supposed to go, the rest was easy to figure out.

After less than twenty minutes, I had an assembled rifle in front of me, and it looked much better than previously, though its performance had probably only marginally improved.

Content with the job I’d done, I holstered it to my harness, and noticed that even my PipBuck indicated its condition had improved. As I scrolled through the rest of my inventory, I noticed the two cans of apples I still had. Being reminded that fresh food existed suddenly made me very hungry. I’d gotten used to the feeling of an empty stomach over the course of the day, to the point that, in this appetite-reducing building, the thought of eating something substantial didn’t cross my mind.

I levitated out one of the two and started eating. When I was done, I started feeling the familiar feeling of a sugar crash, as my thinking slowed to a sleepy crawl and eyes occasionally blurred.

Even though it was still early C-shift, I decided to end my day now and set an alarm for mid-A-shift. I shortly regretted not being able to brush my teeth, but as I lay down, my worries melted away, and I drifted off into blissful slumber. Or so I thought.

A white bar appeared on my EFS. Panicked, I opened my eyes. Calm down, Iron. The bar is white, he or she is not going to attack you on sight, I mentally reassured myself. Besides, they might not even check this place. And if they did, I would just kill them. Killing was easy. Especially with—Right. My shotgun was broken.

I took a deep breath and unholstered my pistol. While I couldn’t trust the rifle, the muzzlegun had proven its ability already. Besides, I had a lot of 10mm bullets and only five .22LR ones anyway.

Something gave me pause, however. It looked as if the bar was walking down from Foal Mountain. This could be Mother, I thought. My panic receded a little as I realised this fact. I couldn’t know for sure, and given how eager the ponies here had been to attack me, I didn’t want to rely on luck. Although, again, the bar was white and not red.

The question now became: How would I figure out this pony’s identity without revealing myself? I needed to get outside, but I worried the door’s creak would alert them. I moved my head to gauge the distance, and figured this was the best time to try and sneak out. That teleportation spell would have been useful right now. Then again, even that made a little bit of noise.

I levitated the bench out of the way, and opened the door, wincing at the horrendously loud noise. Luckily for me, the bar didn’t seem to react.

Maybe they simply didn’t hear it, who knew.

I shuddered as an icy gust blew across my face. Briefly contemplating returning to bed, I stepped outside.

I levitated the pistol into my mouth and bit down on the handle. Those marvels were made with earth ponies as well as unicorns in mind. This way, I could avoid lighting everything around me up with my magic, though it wasn’t my preferred method of using a gun.

Careful, I took a few steps forward. If this wasn’t Mother, I wanted to have the opportunity to shoot first. I moved onto the meadow’s grass, both in hopes of muffling my hoofsteps better, and to get out of the pony’s immediate line of sight.

Of course, Mother would notice me, as she had a PipBuck. If this wasn’t Mother and that they still had a PipBuck, my stealth attempts were screwed. On the bright side, however, they would see I’m not hostile, and that might incentivize them not to shoot. Although I was most likely overthinking things, and this was in fact Mother.

As the mark moved closer, I started hearing teeth chattering. Can you blame them? Then, a voice called out “I-iron? Is that y-you?” and a pony I hadn’t expected in the slightest stepped out of the fog, clad in Stable 4 security barding. She was levitating a shotgun, horn illuminating the inside of her thick mane. “Candy?” my mouth asked before I could stop myself, and a shot echoed through the night. On the ‘d’ sound, my tongue had pulled the trigger.

She yelped in pain and staggered back, the expression on her face a mixture of shock, confusion, and betrayal. Shit.

Footnote:

New perk: Steady Telekinesis I — With enough focus, you’re able to steady your levitation, though the items you hold are still not perfectly stable.

New perk: Bloody Mess — By some strange twist of fate, ponies around you always die violently. You always see the worst way a person can die.

Author's Note

Mini-rewrite/facelift notes: I mostly changed some prose this chapter, and even then it wasn’t nearly as bad as previous chapters. I did add a bit of an introspection scene where Iron thinks about how she’s not normal, too.

Chapter 4 — The Burden of Kindness

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 5 — New Detrot

Chapter 5: New Detrot

I woke up to complete darkness, on a comfortable mattress. Nothing like the scratchy, dusty, or rock-hard stuff I’d slept on the past few nights. Well, Stockpile’s mattress hadn’t been terrible, but still not as comfortable as this.

Above me, I could barely make out a rounded wooden ceiling and a shelf. Where was I? I tried to turn on my back, only to immediately regret it. My “mattress” moved with me, and my vain attempt to keep my balance sent nails through my entire left side. Tears welled in my eyes, and I finally remembered the previous night. I squeezed my hind legs shut, and sighed as I felt a distinct lack of discomfort. At least he hadn’t gotten to me.

Shaking myself out of it, I turned on my PipBuck light; I was in his wagon, but why? The restraints on my hooves were gone, and only a slight soreness remained where they’d dug in. In the corner stood a small magic lamp, which I promptly turned on. And where was Candy? I checked below the hammock, but found nothing. What if something had happened to her? We’d killed him, but what had happened afterwards? She had to be alright, and I needed to find her.

My worries only partly melted away as I slowly, painfully, extracted myself from the hammock and found a white bar behind me. What if it wasn’t her? I shook my head. It had to be. Climbing down the ladder proved just as challenging as leaving the hammock, as I winced with every step. At least my headache was mostly gone. Or maybe everything else overshadowed it. Couldn’t I go two days without some kind of painful injury?

Above me, my jumpsuit hung on a wire strung between the two sets of shelves, stained red where his blood had landed. My own coat was just as dirty, caked in dried blood from now three different sources. I touched my face—grimacing as another spike shot through my torso—and the dried blood sticking to my fur and mane, like a layer of mud, glueing most of my mane together.

For the first time of my life, I genuinely felt dirty. I hadn’t worked up a mild sweat after a short run. My mane wasn’t slightly greasy because I’d forgotten to use shampoo. I was filthy—coated in dried pony blood and brains.

I put my muzzle up to my foreleg’s fur and took a sniff. I reeked; the smell of blood, fresh and old, coupled with rotting sweat nearly made me gag. In just a few days, I’d not only done irreversible damage to my body, but also neglected hygiene more than I ever thought possible. It felt so incredibly wrong after a lifetime of cleanliness. Was it really such a good idea to stay out here? Maybe Mother would have taken me back, and—

I snapped out of my nightmarish train of thought. Now was not the time to wallow in self-pity and regret. When I opened the door, I squeezed my eyes shut due to the blinding light, and found myself face to face with my new worst enemy: a ladder.

To my surprise, the wagon hadn’t moved at all. To my left, Candy sat in front of a smouldering fire, facing away from me, perfectly still. She hadn’t even noticed me.

I held back tears once when I walked down the steps and made my way towards the pit. Somehow, Candy still didn’t hear me approach.

My heart sank when I saw her face. She stared vacantly into the embers, dark bags over her swollen, red eyes. The deep, bloody, angry gashes from her restraints made my stomach churn. How desperate she must have been to cause herself such wounds… I didn’t want to think about it. And here I had the gall to complain about the state of my body? I’d been lucky.

In front of her lay a small notebook with a black cover. “Candy?” I softly called. She blinked and turned to face me; it took all I had not to break down as my eyes met hers, hollow and empty.

“Oh, it’s morning already,” she said in a perfectly even tone. It was almost noon.

I wanted to say something, anything, but no words came to me. Nothing I could tell her could fix this.

She turned back to stare into the fire, and I sat down next to her, blinking the tears out of my eyes. From here, I could read the text in the notebook. The first line was the date of the day before yesterday, and the rest was written in elegant cursive.

Dear Diary,

Tomorrow I will have fun. As I’ve already mentioned, I’ve been staying at Stockpile’s inn for the last few days. I’ve mostly been putting off returning to New Detrot. Not just because the trip is a huge pain, but also because I have been feeling rather wistful. I’m not sure why. Maybe my age is starting to show? I’m not as old as that pile of bones Stockpile, but I suppose I’m one of the older ponies in the Wasteland now. I digress.

This mare and her filly—they might also be sisters, it’s hard to tell—arrived at the inn today. They’re very clearly freshly out of a stable, and they’re in a difficult monetary situation. So I think to myself: golden opportunity, right?

Of course, my first idea was to earn their trust, lead them to the nearest slaver, and knock them out with my usual blend, but when, when the dusty old kook suggested she whore herself out, her reaction was priceless. At that point, I knew I had to have my way with her before I sold her off, even if it will complicate the logistics of selling the two. Prudes are always the most delightful to break.

I’ll admit that I considered fucking the filly in front of her, but that little shit honestly gives me the creeps. There’s something in how she looks at me—how she looks at everyone. Just don’t want to deal with that.

Anyway, the two accepted my offer. For a moment, I thought the filly saw through me, but in the end she kept her mouth shut. At least she knows her place.

I’ll keep this short and sweet, since otherwise I’d probably just write in circles. I’m very excited for tomorrow.

Actually… maybe I could pretend like I’ll let both of them go if she accepts to do various favours for me. Whatever, I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Yours Truly,

Silver Tongue

I was shaking. Not with fear or because of the cold, but with burning hatred, stoked by the fact he was already dead, that I could no longer do anything to him. I wanted to make him suffer. Wanted to make him beg for mercy. Wanted to shoot his legs off and let him dangle above the fire. Wanted to watch him cook to death, scream for release. Wanted to sneer at him. Wanted to—

Candy’s voice burst my bubble. “You know. The hardest thing about this whole situation is realising that he really did deserve to die.” With my head back in the here and now, the atrocity of my thoughts finally struck me. What was wrong with me?

Candy sighed. “I… spent half the night crying. I’d just killed a pony. Not some weird pony-shaped creature that had the strength to cave in a skull.” Tears ran down her cheeks, and she gulped. “I lied when I said I would do the same as you in your position. Truth is, I understood why you did it, but somehow still thought I was above that…”

She grit her teeth. “I— I always… believed nopony actually deserved to die. When I asked myself how I would feel if this happened to me, I was somehow under the delusion that I could just… forgive,” she mumbled, jaw quivering. Then, she added in the faintest whisper, “Well, I fucking can’t.”

I merely listened, leaning against her and stroking her mane as gently as I could with my telekinesis. I wanted to touch her, feel her comfort, but not with these filthy hooves. “A-and even when I did k-k-k-kill him—” she sobbed “—I regretted it. I hated him and wanted revenge, but killing him still felt wrong. So very fucking wrong. But I needed to save you. But that too felt wrong. I was choosing your life over his.

“But then I found his diary, and now I can truly say I understand how you felt when you killed Uncle Concerto. Silver Tongue was the most vile, sadistic pile shit to ever walk this planet.” The icy tone of her voice chilled me to the core, but I agreed from the bottom of my heart.

“I wasn’t the only one. We weren’t his only victims, just the latest. We weren’t even the ones who got the worst of it. I’m genuinely glad things worked out as they did, because otherwise I would never have been able to rid Equestria of his pathetic life. Even if I did get raped, that’s just going to have to be a scar I’ll have to carry from now on.” I desperately wanted to ask what ‘rape’ meant, but now was not the time. “And now, I know for a fact I made the right choice by choosing your life over his. He deserved to die, and you deserve to live.”

She embraced me, gently enough to not hurt my rib. How she was able to touch my filthy fur was beyond me, but I didn’t dwell on it. For a long while, we sat there, basking in each other’s comfort.

Eventually, Candy spoke up again. “We should get going.” Hearing her talk in such a flat voice hurt me in ways I had never considered; it made me furious. “We’ll eat some apples on the way. You should get on the cart, and I’ll pull it. You’re far too hurt to walk any long distance.”

Thus, we got ready. As I settled at the front of the wagon, the northern wind chilled me. I felt a sneeze coming up and tried my best to hold it in, only for my efforts to prove completely futile.

My world exploded in pain, and I thought I was going to lose consciousness again. After what may as well have been hours, the pain faded, as did the dizziness. How could a single sneeze hurt so much?

The rest of the day crawled by in silence, with neither of us daring to break it. The atmosphere was just too heavy. It felt like Candy would never be the same, like she was permanently damaged, just as I’d physically been broken.

The guilt hurt almost as much as my bruised ribs. I tried telling myself that it wasn’t my fault, but I couldn’t shake the truth. If only I’d spoken up. If only I’d said anything at all… Then what? She would have just dismissed me as a dumb child. I know damn well adults don’t care about my opinion. No. Candy wasn’t like that. She genuinely cared about me, didn’t she? I could have prevented this…

I pushed the thought aside. I could always ask her about it later. And then what? “Hey so you were beaten up because I thought you wouldn’t listen to me.” No, I couldn’t tell her about my mistake; knowing that would only hurt her.

Didn’t I want to push the thought aside? I guess it’s just hard to get rid of the guilt. This was all my fault, after all. But was it really? Yes, I could have prevented it. But so could have Stockpile. And so could have Candy, and certainly I wouldn’t consider blaming her for this. No, blaming myself didn’t make sense. I could have prevented it, but that didn’t mean I had caused this. No, that was Silver Tongue’s doing. He and only he was to blame. What I needed to do, and the only thing I could do, was learn from this.

Never again would I let Candy trust a stranger blindly. Then again, I doubted she would do so either; not after what happened to her.

I sighed. A big part of my mistake had been to assume she knew better, when in reality she was completely clueless.

I had known better, and I could have stopped this. She might be an adult, but she isn’t perfect, and my foalish assumption had brought her harm. She protected and looked out for me, and I needed to do the same. I would be the sister she needed right now.

I looked over to Candy, slowly pulling the wagon with her unsteady gait. She had said she would be fine, but I hadn’t really bought it. Still, I figured she would know best. I would not make that mistake again.

It took a little bit of courage for me to open my mouth. “Hey Candy?” She turned to me without stopping. “I think we should call it a day soon.”

“Why? We’ve only been on the road for a few hours,” she countered. “If you want, you can try to sleep inside. I’ll get us to New Detrot.”

“I’m not that sleepy, but you seem about ready to keel over.” She had stayed up a long time before, and that had led her to making a very poor decision, albeit one that benefited me. I doubted she would have left the stable and joined me outside had she been fully rested. Now, she was already in a bad place mentally, and the sleep deprivation likely did not help at all.

“What do you mean? I’m fine,” she said right before tripping on a rock and landing face-first on a wooden plank.

I stood up and immediately regretted the motion, wincing. “Are you okay? That looked painful.”

Defeated, she turned her head to the right, towards the snow covered fields, and replied, “You know, I think you’re right. I need to sleep, or I’ll get us both killed.” My heart sank. So she was ready to listen. She would have listened if I told her Silver was suspicious. Shut up, brain. There was absolutely no reason to feel this way. There’s nothing I can do to fix it now, so please shut up! Stop making me feel terrible…

“It’s just…” she continued. “I’m not sure I want to sleep after this. I took a nap earlier, but woke up from a nightmare. At least when I’m awake he can’t hurt me anymore.” She let out a heavy, heart-wrenching sigh. I wanted to hold her so badly that I almost hopped off the wagon. Only the prospect of the pain in my ribcage stopped me. “But I suppose it won’t help if I hurt myself instead. Let’s stop for the day.”

Since the area around the rails was rather open, we took the opportunity to free the way for any other potential caravans wanting to pass. After I said I’d stay outside and look out for trouble, Candy went inside the wagon. There was no reason to believe we were in immediate danger, but I preferred to take the safer option. After all, what was to stop raiders from taking the tracks, too?

I still had a few hours to pass before sunset, and before I would grow sleepy again. I painfully climbed onto the wagon for a better view and started killing time by disassembling and reassembling my rifle. It didn’t take as long as the first time, but that just gave me more opportunities to marvel at how amazing this work of engineering really was. Even rusted and barely functional, it was still gorgeous. After that, I decided to use the gun to practise with my telekinesis. In particular, I was training how steady it was. After all, aiming a rifle would probably be the one application that benefitted the most from stability.

Eventually, I got bored of staring down a rifle and keeping it as immobile as possible. On the bright side, it was starting to come more naturally to me. Still not “second nature”, like the magazine had described, but it was slowly becoming easier. Or so I thought. I really couldn’t tell without a point of comparison.

After my magic training, I was finally motivated enough to finally delve into the Big Book of Arcane Sciences. Unlike The Mechanical Marvels of Firearms, this book was more like a lexicon. Well, a compendium to be more exact. In practice, this meant each section was mostly unrelated to other sections, and that I could start anywhere and read up on any topic.

I gleaned over the summary, a few topics and sub-topics catching my attention. I was trying to figure out where to start when I saw a subject that I had been meaning to explore—teleportation. The category it was found in was labelled ‘Superspells’. I opened that page first.

“Superspells are, as the name suggests, bigger, more powerful spells. There are two factors that can qualify a spell as a superspell: complexity and power requirements. Often, a superspell is both complex and power-draining. The category of superspells was until recently not well defined, and any spell that was technically difficult to perform could be labelled as such. Over the past two decades, significant strides in magical research allowed for a mathematically robust formalisation of the definition of a superspell:

“A superspell is an arcano-technical construct requiring more than 500AOpC (Arcane Operations per Cast). This seemingly arbitrary limit was chosen as a rough approximation of the cutoff at which a standard ruby-amethyst spell-matrix would consistently outperform an average unicorn.

“Unfortunately, due to space constraints, this book will not delve into the details of what constitutes a single Arcane Operation. For the avid reader, we can only highly recommend Prof. Sunburst’s thesis that led to this entire field of research.”

Were superspells related to megaspells? I checked the book’s publishing date and found that it had been written many years before the official announcement of megaspells’ existence. I shrugged and, satisfied with this definition, found the section about teleportation.

“Teleportation. Believed to have been originally invented by Starswirl the Bearded, this spell allows a unicorn to cross vast distances in the blink of an eye — leading to one of its casual nicknames, the ‘blink’. In its original version, only the most magically adept unicorns managed to learn and master it, while the contemporan one is accessible to most unicorns interested in the topic.

“The recent version, invented and formalised by Prof. Sunburst, utilises modern arcano-mathematical theory to create a spell that is easier to learn, more efficient, and safer than its ancient counterpart. Additional failsafes have been built in to prevent users from ending up inside solid objects.

“Like with the majority of superspells, the algorithm invented by Prof. Sunburst is the most reliable way to learn it, and is therefore depicted below in arcane code format. However, unlike most arcano-programs, teleportation has self-correcting elements, meaning that a mostly correct cast will produce a fully accurate result. Alternatively, if the spell-cast is too far from correct, the code will simply prevent the spell from executing.

“Prof. Sunburst deemed it a good idea to make the spell more approachable to beginners, giving stronger feedback in the event of an incorrect cast. However, advanced users might think it beneficial to skip the code responsible for error-checking, as it does add a non-negligible cost at cast-time. However, it is highly discouraged to skip those safety measures: they prevent a pony from materialising inside a wall, or even another pony.”

Unfortunately for me, I had no idea how to read or interpret arcane code. It just hadn’t been on my curriculum. Partly because it was fairly advanced magical theory and would thus require a lot of time to learn, but also because, as the future overmare, I had much more important topics to learn about first. Iodine’s words to Mother echoed in my mind. “A damn shame, really. Filly’s got the perfect horn for magic.”

Thus, I looked through the book’s summary once again. I found the keyword I was looking for near the end, as an appendix. “Arcane Code — an Aide-Mémoire” was the section’s title. A small disclaimer read:

“This appendix only aims to act as a cheat-sheet for unicorns familiar with arcane code. It does not teach any of the basic concepts. The full concept of arcane code is far outside the scope of this book, and deserves its own volume entirely. Fortunately, many such books can be found. At the time of writing, Prof. Sunburst and Dr. Arcane Spark’s Full Guide to Arcane Programming can be regarded as the golden standard on the matter. However, it is worth noting that the author of The Big Book of Arcane Science has plans on publishing a comprehensive guide to magical theory as well.”

Ah. Back to square one it was, then. I wasn’t giving up here, though. Once again I turned my attention to the summary table. At the end of the part on superspells, a single title stood out to me. “Learning superspells for the average unicorn”. Sounded promising.

“Not everypony has had the opportunity to learn arcane description languages. For this reason, this section has been written to give a few tips and ideas to help unicorns willing to put in the effort to learn difficult spells. Keep in mind that if you find yourself often learning new superspells, you would likely be able to save a lot of time by learning the description language used in this book, commonly referred to as arcane code.

“Now, to learn a superspell without knowing what you’re going for would normally be difficult. The normal hoof-wavy techniques do not apply when the spell you are learning is orders of magnitude more difficult than normal spells. A very motivated teacher is therefore required to help you.”

I almost gave up right then and there, but was too engrossed with the topic and too bored to stop reading. Who knew, maybe I’d meet a pony able to teach me a few of those ‘superspells’.

“That teacher would have to be somepony willing to demonstrate the spell as many times as necessary, in many different situations. The learning unicorn can then easily observe the magical patterns formed. When the student is ready, she or he may start practising the channel, and have the teacher observe and correct certain patterns.

“In practice this proves fairly difficult, which is why telepathy or memory transfer spells may be used to facilitate the process. However, the latter is mostly beneficial during the first phase, and is rarely of help during the second part—the teacher needs to be able to respond immediately or at least very quickly if the student makes a mistake.”

Oh, so not everything was lost. I only had one usage to compare to, but I’d felt it many times. It was far from an ideal learning environment, but it did seem feasible to use it to teach teleportation to myself. I turned to my saddlebags, finding the memory talisman. I dreaded watching the entire memory for one short moment, but it was my only option. I wanted to start working on learning the spell immediately, but I knew I needed at least a small refresher.

On the other hoof, I did not like the idea of leaving myself and Candy vulnerable while I viewed a memory. Then again… I hadn’t seen anypony in several hours, even on the day before, and it was getting fairly late, so most groups would probably stop for the day. Meanwhile, the wildlife, whose red bars still occasionally flickered on, seemed just as unlikely to attack. Screw it, I needed a useful spell, and the sooner I learned it, the better.

As usual, I recorded the time of entering the memory, and compared it with the exit time. Twenty minutes. I was pleased to find my EFS momentarily empty, save for Candy’s bar. Not wanting to waste any time during which I might have forgotten some of the spell, I started channelling magic. Some like this, some like that, no no, that wasn’t quite right. Maybe... The energy gathered at my horn fizzled.

“Ponyfeathers,” I cursed to myself. I needed to try again. So I did, only to fail in a very similar manner. This was going to prove itself even more difficult than I first thought. I had gotten a bit further, though. The tricky part was focusing on my magic while attempting to remember what I needed to do next. The easy part was that I knew the spell well enough that I immediately felt it when my magic took a wrong turn. Or maybe that was part of the spell’s error correction?

It took me many more attempts until I was finally able to reproduce most of the spell. I’d stopped counting after thirty, and my headache had reawakened enough to make me consider eating a mint, but I suppressed the urge.

I liked to think I was pressing on out of sheer willpower alone, but that wasn’t true. Every time I took a break, boredom eventually outweighed magical fatigue and I found myself trying “one more time, just in case it’s the one.”

This one, however, would be my final attempt. I’d promised myself that seven times now, but I knew I had to stop sooner, rather than later. If I failed this, I would give up for today. Part of me doubted that thought as it crossed my mind. After all, even my headache hadn’t prevented me from breaking that promise.

My surroundings lit up in red as I shoved a large amount of power into my spell. I’d found that channelling more magic than necessary helped the flow of the spell. It was probably because Arcane’s cast was finely-trained and bare minimum, while I had to go with the brute-force approach.

Lines and corridors gradually formed the labyrinth that made up this spell. I was getting close! Don’t let that distract you. Thankfully, my aside thought didn’t distract me, and the spell continued as intended, until… I had it. I had it! This felt right! Everything just… connected! I released the energy I’d gathered, letting it run its course exactly as intended.

Pop!

Had I succeeded? If so, why was everything dark? And why was my EFS suddenly crowded with red bars? Thankfully, none of them seemed to be in my immediate vicinity. Still, if it appeared on my EFS, it was too close. My initial stupor fading, I realised I could hear water whooshing close to me. In the distance, I could hear tiny squeaks and fast-paced clicks, like tiny claws on concrete, but I couldn’t tell if the noises originated from the bars.

Given that I had no idea where I was, I focused my telekinesis on nothing in particular, wincing as the state of my horn rekindled my headache. I just wanted a small source of light that wouldn’t overwhelm my eyes like my PipBuck’s flashlight, damn it.

I found myself in a semi-circular tunnel, barely large enough for a regular pony to stand in. Of course, being shorter than the average pony, I had ample room to move. In the middle, water flowed along a small canal. On either side, a pipe emerged every few metres into the channel, water trickling out of it. Was this a sewer? I didn’t understand the purpose, given this place was nowhere near a settlement of any kind. Maybe it helped evacuate excess water from the fields? No matter, I had more pressing issues.

My first idea was to attempt the spell again. Now that I’d succeeded in casting it, that little bit of challenge was gone, and I didn’t like the idea of putting myself through that pain again. A low, growl-like noise echoed through the tunnel. Yeah no, I’m getting the heck out of here.

I’d managed it once, so I couldn’t think of a reason I wouldn’t do it again. As I channelled the spell once more, I managed to follow the pattern exactly, and… the spell failed. Up until the end, the cast had felt correct, but then it had suddenly snapped back like a rubber band, sending ripples of pain through my fatigued horn, hurting my brain even more. But why? Everything went right… Had I already misremembered? I massaged my horn for a few moments; a futile attempt to make it feel better. Then, I attempted the spell again, only to meet the same painful fate. Why?

Then it hit me. I knew how to teleport in a specific direction. But I did not know how to teleport somewhere else. I was such an idiot. That would explain the problem; I’d probably ended up in this tunnel because the fail safes on the spell had adjusted my destination to avoid materialising me in the ground. I gulped. How could I be so reckless?

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked left to right, trying to find an exit, but no such luck. I suppressed a panicked thought that suggested I would be stuck here. I still had options.

In both directions, red bars could be seen. Only two on the right, though, so I picked that direction and started walking, but not before unharnessing my rifle. After a few seconds, a loud “brooooooooaaaap” echoed in the sewer. In the distance, illuminated by my red light, stood a bloated, brightly coloured frog. Naturally, my first reaction was to put a bullet right through it, putting into practice my aim training.

The shot echoed through the canal, reigniting my headache. Immediately after, the frog burst, sending bits of itself flying everywhere. The places hit by its innards started smoking and hissing, leaving behind shallow indents.

To make matters worse, my PipBuck started slowly clicking, and a sharp pain spread through my lungs. I tried to hold back a cough but failed, and tears pooled in my eyes as I pressed on.

Behind me, another toad was rapidly hopping towards me. In front of me, my EFS only indicated one hostile creature. I didn’t like the plan that formed in my mind, but I needed to flee at any cost. Fighting more of those toads was not an option.

I took a few steps backwards, and took in a deep breath. I bit my lower lip as my bruised rib shifted. Then, I ran as fast as I could through the poison cloud; my eyes stung and my PipBuck clicked like crazy. Above my EFS, a small red number appeared. At its apex, it read “50rads/s”. I only stopped running when it disappeared and the clicking died down entirely.

In the distance, my eyes caught the glint of a ladder leading upwards. My way out! Unfortunately, the frog stood right in front of it. Killing it was out of the question, and that only left me with one option.

I braced myself for the pain in my chest, and sprinted past the frog. It simply croaked in response. Thankfully, they weren’t very agile—or maybe just not that interested in me? Whichever it was, I managed to reach the ladder safely. At the top of it, I could see a round metal hatch. With a wince, I started climbing, every rung bringing in another round of pain.Then I felt a sharp burn on my right hindleg.

The frog had wrapped its glowing green tongue around it. With an abrupt pull, it made me lose my grip on the ladder, and I landed on the concrete floor, banging my head. The world went black and the ringing in my ears returned. I snapped out of it as quickly as possible, only to realise that I was being pulled towards the frog’s mouth. I only saw one way out of this situation. I lifted my rifle and the tunnel regained its familiar red lighting. I took a deep breath and held it before pulling the trigger, making the toad explode.

Somehow, the fire in my leg had spread to my nose, and I nearly screamed as my body burned. My PipBuck clicked. If I wasted another second I would die. I jumped to my hooves, blinked tears out of my eyes, and ignored how my head spun. I just bit my lip, and my mouth started filling with the familiar taste of iron.

I practically jumped up the ladder, forcing my telekinesis through the hatch, and ripping it open. Daylight blinded me and dirt fell in my eyes, but I climbed out. I was safe.

My leg, nose, and lip bled profusely, but I was safe.

My lungs were on fire, burning with every breath I took, but I was safe.

My broken side pulsed with pain, every heartbeat and breath sent ripples throughout my body, but I was safe.

I lay there for a few long minutes, marvelling that I was safe. I couldn’t believe that mere minutes ago, I’d been idly experimenting with magic, fighting boredom as well as I could, and now I was just happy to be alive.

I was safe.

I lay there Stars knew how long as my PipBuck idly clicked by. Eventually, the clicking started to worry me enough to overcome the exhaustion and soreness. That dial being in the yellow could not be a good thing. My lungs hurt, but I managed to hold back coughs when I limped back to the wagon—I’d teleported almost exactly under it, judging by how far I’d needed to run underground.

I painfully climbed onto the back of the wagon and took the time to inspect myself. My stable jumpsuit was tattered where the toad had… licked it. Underneath, a crust had formed above the chemically burnt flesh. It looked so much worse than it felt, and it felt absolutely miserable. The only other part of me that hurt in a similar fashion was my muzzle. Some acid had landed there, hadn’t it?

I’d never really liked my facial features so much, but the thought of having a scar—and this was definitely going to scar—in the middle of it… it saddened me. Then, a scarier thought crossed my mind. This thing hadn’t hit my eye, but it had gotten close. Much too close.

The idea of losing my eye terrified me. I’d always liked my eyes; their vibrant red had always helped me feel… more myself. Even disregarding their nice and pure colour, they were amazing at their primary function. I had vision better than anypony in the stable—Iodine had told me that—and I was proud of that.

I took a deep breath—well, as deep as I dared—and slowly started calming down, considering my options. I really wanted to heal myself, but I couldn’t afford to waste supplies on these wounds. They were not an immediate threat to me, and we were starting to run low on medical supplies. Although… we hadn’t searched the wagon we’d inherited from him. He probably even had some weapons. I sighed. Well, at least we had supplies now, even though we’d gone through Tartarus—Candy more so than myself—to acquire them.

My mind flashed images of the dimly lit scene. He’d hurt me more with his simple kick than my father ever had. Why did they even bother doing things so slowly if they could hurt me like that? Maybe Concerto had wanted to avoid breaking ribs, but what reason did Silver have? I couldn’t wrap my head around it. If it were me, I would just have hurt them as much as possible—without killing them, obviously—instead of messing around back there.

An icy gust broke me out of my train of thought, and I decided to call it an early night, and to go to sleep. Falling asleep was difficult, as my leg itched and hurt, but exhaustion took over quickly enough.

I awoke to Candy bandaging my foreleg. I noticed she’d also put a bandaid on my muzzle. She’d taken off my jumpsuit and was rolling the magically imbued cloth around my leg with practised grace. No, not practised grace: there was some hesitation in her telekinesis. She didn’t have much experience in this, but it came naturally to her, probably just like I was able to aim rifles so well.

“Uughh,” I groaned, shifting to sit upright, a slight discomfort in my chest.

“Careful,” Candy replied, the slightest tint of worry in her voice. “I cast an anaesthetic spell on your chest and leg. It may not hurt, but you might injure yourself because you don’t notice when you’re doing something you shouldn’t be. Not that you should be able to move around easily to begin with.” Yeah, most physicians would recommend against fighting frog monsters after a fracture. Or a bruised rib. Or whatever it was.

“Ah. Any reason you didn’t use it on me yesterday? I could have used it on several occasions.”

“Well, as I said, the pain is there to stop you from doing any movements you shouldn’t be doing, and I don’t know any weaker pain-numbing spell. Besides, you’ll find it difficult to move properly. There’s not much you can do about a fractured rib other than giving it time to heal,” she explained in her usual calm and happy voice. “Healing potions might make it mend quicker, but we only had one of those, and it wouldn’t have been a miracle cure.”

“I thought we were out of those? And what do you mean ‘had’?” I interrupted.

“Well, I found some in the cart, but now we’re out again.” I cursed myself for making her waste our only potion on non-fatal wounds. “As well as a shotgun that I could use as backup if mine ever has any issues. And I don’t think I’ll be running out of shells anytime soon, either.”

“Can I have it? I prefer rifles, but having a backup weapon for close quarters sounds useful,” I chimed.

“Oh, sure, I guess. You’ll just have to be careful not to shoot it if you’re behind me; it’s hard to tell where the pellets will go.”

“I know, I know,” I reassured her. “Remember, I’m the pony with a gun cutie mark here.” I stuck out my tongue at her. I was surprised at how light the mood was, especially compared to the day before. As usual, firearms improved my mood.

Candy giggled playfully. “Now, miss ‘gun nut’, could you please slowly stand up so I can bandage your chest as well? I’ll help you up. I think the magic should speed up your rib’s recovery, if only a bit,” she teased. I wanted to protest, but as the memory of the pain resurfaced, that desire was silenced.

We continued our chat while she wrapped another roll around my midsection, and we eventually ate breakfast—Sugar Apple Bombs. The sun hadn’t risen yet, but both of us wanted to start moving—no point staying here if it was already bright enough to see. It was best if I didn’t try to keep up with her, and so I simply sat down at the front of the wagon again. Candy’s gait was back to being bouncy and happy.

“Hey, Candy, are you okay? You seem awfully peppy, compared to yesterday.” There was no point hiding my worry. It might just lead to her getting hurt again.

“Oh, yeah. I just needed a good night of sleep to reset my system, I suppose. No doubt it will stay with me for a long while, but if I focus on the here and now, I’ll move forward and eventually overcome it.” She sighed. “It also helps when I take inspiration from you.”

“From me?” The words left my muzzle before I even had a chance to realise. “Oh right, because my father beat me too. Sorry, spoke too quickly.”

“Well, not just beating, but also…” She stopped herself. I couldn’t see her face, so I couldn’t hope to figure out why. Did she see something and got distracted? I waited a few more seconds before asking.

“But also… what?” I inquired, unwittingly tilting my head to the side.

“The…” she hesitated. The silence lasted much shorter than the previous one. “Nevermind. Please forget I said anything.”

“But I’m curiooouuus,” I whined. I quickly regretted that decision, as I realised that she probably had a good reason for her words.

Candy stopped walking to turn around and give me a serious look. “I’m sorry, Iron, but I really wouldn’t want to open up that wound for you. And frankly speaking, I would rather keep that book closed myself.”

I was still as lost, but at least it felt like she was being real with me. “I understand. Can I ask you one last question about this, though? I think it’s related, but I can’t tell for sure.”

Candy didn’t hide her reluctance, but after a while she did reply. “I suppose so, if it helps you feel better.”

“What is ‘rape’?” I asked. Given the context, I couldn’t help but feel like I was asking something terrible, but I needed to know.

She blinked at me for a few moments, then her brow furrowed as she looked for words, all without losing her serene smile. After a short while, she answered in a neutral, yet odd tone. “Rape is non-consentual sex.”

“Oooh, I see.” I nodded in understanding, though that left a question. “What’s sex?” I had my suspicion, but I wanted a precise definition.

Candy’s jaw dropped, any hint of her smile disappearing.

What?

During our entire conversation—for which we had stopped—she had been very flustered. I couldn’t understand why one would blush this much when talking about a simple biological function of the equine body. Well, perhaps simple wasn’t the best way to describe it, given the complicated terminology surrounding it, but it definitely didn’t seem like anything to be ashamed of.

I’d often wondered why some stallions were beating their wives during my walks in the stable’s vent system, him on top of her. My mind was dragged to my father, but I quickly shook the thought away.

I hadn’t found anything on the subject within the books we had at our quarters. If it was a requirement in order to produce foals, I could understand why it was done by seemingly loving couples.

“What I still don’t understand is how your parents never taught you about it. Foals normally get curious and ask their parents something along the lines of ‘where do foals come from?’” Candy pondered.

“I did ask Mother, but she replied that I would learn about it ‘in a few years’ once I tackled biology. When I heard that, I just waited, because there wasn’t much point in rearranging my curriculum other than to satisfy my curiosity.” Well, I had been pretty impatient at first, but eventually I’d gotten over it.

“That sounds like she just dodged the question. If that’s the case, then that likely means she was an accomplice in what your father did to you.” Candy looked me in the eyes, frowning.

“Could be,” I shrugged, “but I think she just didn’t want to give me a too general overview of the topic. From what you’ve told me it sounds complicated and would deserve full lessons.” My mind continued wandering around my mental model of the stable and its politics. Those were what really mattered for a future overmare.

“I’m not very convinced, but you do know her better than I do, so I shouldn’t assume. Still, this is a pretty big thing to completely omit to your child, especially since you likely already had your implant. I wonder when she was planning to tell you; after she married you off?” My thoughts landed on Zinc. I must’ve made a face, as Candy asked me, “What? Are you okay?”

“Yeah. It’s just that my would-be future husband crossed my mind, and the thought of having to agree to this whole sex thing just to have a foal… not pleasant.”

Candy grimaced. “Oh. I am so sorry you had to go through all that. To think…” She shook her head, before letting her smile return. Moving in to nuzzle my neck, she gently stroked my mane. “It’s okay, you’re fine now, we’re far from all that.”

She was right. “Yet another reason to be happy we’re out of there.”

The lavender pony nodded, then looked puzzled before asking. “What did you mean by ‘future husband’? Were you going to have an arranged marriage? With who?” Whom, my mind corrected.

“Zinc, Iodine’s grandson. Mother never talked to me about it, but it was as clear as the atrium lights that I would need to marry somepony wealthy in order to become the overmare.”

“Who said you had to be overmare?” Candy asked, sounding surprisingly naive.

“Well, my whole education revolved around me taking on that position eventually. Mother did want me to find my own cutie mark, so that I could do something while waiting to take on the role.” Wait, who would become the next overmare after Mother passed away? No matter; she probably had a plan.

“Are there really no other options? Surely you would have had a choice.”

I shook my head. “No. Well, it would have been either him or you. Otherwise, there would have been the chance that somepony could take the position from me mid-term.”

Candy’s mouth contorted in a horrified scowl, and for a moment she stared at me slack-jawed. “Me…?” she mouthed.

“Yeah, don’t you know that your side of the family is amongst the wealthiest in the stable? Only reason Zinc would have been picked over you is because same gender marriages are usually avoided for the overmare position.” I took a small break to catch my breath. “And I think I understand why, now that you’ve told me about sex. Especially given that the previous overmare had to abdicate in the middle of her term due to her lack of living relatives. Had she had children, the situation would have been different, because they could have supported her until she was ready to retire,” I replied matter-of-factly. It felt nice to be more knowledgeable than Candy for at least certain matters.

“I can’t say I’m too fond of that idea…”

“Me neither, though I would have much preferred marrying you over Zinc. At least you’re smart and kind.” Another realisation crossed my mind. “And I wouldn’t have had to have sex with you, so that would also have been a big plus.” Wait… “Actually, when I think of it, I think I would even have liked marrying you.”

“Uh huh…” Candy turned around and attached the cart’s harness to herself. “Well, we should get going. We took way too long of a break.” An awkward silence fell upon us. I had a hard time accepting it could be because of something I’d said, but I wasn’t certain. I didn’t think Candy would be the type to be offended by a pragmatic marriage, given how common they were for ponies of our standing, but I couldn’t fully chase the thought away. She probably just wanted to get to New Detrot as quickly as possible, and I was just imagining how awkward this silence felt.

The rest of the day’s trip went by quietly. I couldn’t find a topic to bring up, and even considered taking one of my candies to help me think, but decided against it. If I had an unlimited supply of them, I could use them on things like that, but as it stood, I had to conserve them for more important matters. Instead, I spent my time polishing and inspecting my rifle, despite my latent magical fatigue. With enough time and patience, this thing would eventually return to full functionality, though I suspected I needed to swap out some parts first, either by making my own, or by dismantling another rifle of a similar type. The latter option seemed easier, but it required finding another gun like mine and hoping the set of damaged parts was disjoint.

I was even able to polish the inside of the barrel, careful to run my telekinesis alongside the grooves, rather than over them; polishing them away would have been counterproductive.

Eventually, Candy broke the silence by asking me how I had gotten injured, and I explained the whole situation to her.

We arrived in a train station, with the two parallel tracks turning into three, then four, then a half dozen. I watched my PipBuck intently as we approached it, until it flashed the new location onto the map. For the briefest moment, it labelled it as ‘Foal Junction’, before switching over to ‘New Detrot’. How did it do that? It was probably far beyond my current understanding, but I hoped to one day know enough to figure it out.

Ramps led up from the tracks onto the platforms; they’d obviously been added after the original construction, possibly even post-war. On top of the roof above the platforms, I spotted the silhouette of a winged creature. I could tell it wasn’t a pony, but if it was capable of wielding a rifle, I owed it respect. I couldn’t see very well, but the gun seemed much bigger than my own, and I found myself seething with envy.

When we were within ear shot, she called out to us in a deep, but distinctly female voice. “Hey!” As she approached, I finally got a good look at the griffin—I presumed; she matched the description I had read long ago. Her armour reminded me of Candy’s, sharing the same blue textile, as well as the black plating. “Oh, stable dwellers. Stockpile mentioned you. Come on in.”

Candy looked back at me, eyes wide. I whispered, “I think she means under the roof. I’ll help you push the wagon up the ramp,” before hopping down from the wagon as gently as I could.

“No, don’t push it in your cond—” I simply tapped my horn and she stopped herself. “Right, I keep forgetting other unicorns actually have strength behind their telekinesis.” Was her horn really that feeble? She had been able to use potent nerve magic, so she couldn’t really be that weak… right?

As we pushed the wagon onto the platform, I noticed two more white bars pop up on my EFS. Given that I couldn’t see them, I suspected they were on the roof along with the first griffin, who flew down, landing next to us. “Welcome to New Detrot. I need to get back to guard duty, but you should meet Gust inside the main building.” That name rang a bell… Right! He had my bounty for killing the raiders.

She pointed to our right, where a large concrete structure extended past platform one. “With how cold it’s been the past few days, we haven’t had many new visitors, but you’ll find a few traders inside.” She turned to take off again, but then looked at us again. “My name’s Gale, by the way.”

After the large bird took off, Candy whispered to me, “I’m not sure if we should trust her…”

“We don’t have to trust her,” I replied. “Let’s just not put ourselves in any situation where we might have to.”

“Well, yeah, but you’ve seen how well-armed she is. She could just kill us.”

“Yeah, and she hasn’t. I completely agree that we shouldn’t turn our backs to strangers, but if she and the other pon—people on the roof wanted to hurt us, they probably would have already tried something. By the size of that barrel, that rifle would be accurate at least five hundred metres, maybe more.” Unless it was one of those stupid old calibres that traded most of its velocity for mass. I was getting distracted. “I’m just as on edge as you, but if they’re all this well-armed, they don’t need to drug our food to hurt us.”

“There are others?” she questioned, incredulous.

“Yeah. I can see them on my EFS. All white bars, though.”

“Ah, I see.” She paused to think for a few seconds. “I believe we should lock the wagon and chain it to one of the pillars. It’s ours now, and I wouldn’t want somepony to steal it, and I don’t trust the guards to not at least attempt it.”

I nodded and, five minutes later, we were crossing the train tracks. I regretted this decision when I realised I would have to climb back onto the platform. With Candy’s help, it ended up much less painful than if I’d tried doing it alone. I wished I could just teleport us—or at least myself—across the gaps. That, in turn, brought back memories of the noxious rad-toads, or whatever they were, and I dropped the idea.

“I think we should find a way around, maybe take the stairs below. The platforms seem to be connected underground.” It wasn’t a very difficult or shocking conclusion, it almost felt like I was stating the obvious.

Underground, yellowed white paint was peeling off the tile walls. Our hooves clacked loudly against the concrete floor, echoing throughout the entire tunnel. The unpleasant odour of dried urine hit my nostrils. Why would anypony pick some underground tunnel, out of all the options in Equestria, to relieve themself? I groaned. The attack on my sense of smell ended when we climbed a staircase, leaving the tunnel.

When we finally entered the train station building—this one much bigger than the one near Foal Mountain—we found a few ponies sitting inside on benches, chatting. Leaning against the back wall stood a griffin, carefully eyeing Candy and I. His Stable-Tec security armour holstered both a baton and some kind of short automatic rifle.

On the sides, tables had been arranged as trading stands, with merchandise sitting on top. Even though the room looked far from empty, I could tell many more merchants could normally have stands here. One earth pony’s stand sold produce that looked relatively fresh. Another one, occupied by a unicorn, sold various pre-war items, like eating utensils, clothing, and soap, but also—somehow still edible—packaged food.

The last stand that had items on it almost made me drool. A rifle, a shotgun, and several pistols lay on the table. They all looked in better condition than my varmint rifle, but none of them looked fresh like the shotguns me and Candy had taken from the stable. Well, mine was broken, but if we ignored that small detail, it looked much better than those.

Still, these weapons looked amazing. I wanted to try all of them, but then I remembered—we had no money. It was then I realised that I had, in fact, been drooling. In my defence, it wasn’t much, but Candy did give me a look.

The last table did not seem to have any merchandise on it. Instead, a griffin male—presumably, given that he looked gruffer than the other members of his species we’d encountered—sat at it, writing idly on a sheet of yellowed paper. The wall to his right was covered with posters tacked onto the wood. Could this be Gust? He must have noticed my gaze as he perked up, meeting it with his green eyes.

“Hello, welcome to New Detrot, how may I help you?” Realisation dawned in his eyes. “You’re the stable dwellers Stockpile mentioned, aren’t you?” he said in a flat, neutral voice. It ever so slightly reminded me of Mother’s voice.

“I think so,” Candy replied. “Unless there were more of us that I’m not aware of.” She let out a small giggle, and Gust also chuckled.

“Well, I have fifty caps for you. If you spend them here, we can just figure out a tab and save me the trouble of counting all of them out.” He shrugged. “I just can’t stand counting caps any more than necessary.”

Candy turned to me, seemingly awaiting my input. It felt… odd to have an adult not only care for my opinion, but to actively seek it out. I shook myself out of my stupor. “Well, I don’t see why this place would be any worse than others. And we need supplies anyway.”

She nodded in reply. “That was my thought as well.” She turned back to Gust. “Alright.”

Then, he announced our credit to the whole room, and gave us a sheet of paper for the merchants to write how much they’d charged us. We first approached the produce merchant. Given our extra day of travelling—even with the things from Silver’s chariot—we were almost out of food, and we preferred something fresh.

That turned out to be a mistake, as the vegetables and lettuce seemed to cost five times as much as the other stand’s packaged foods. Neither of us could tell how much a cap was truly worth, but ten of them for one apple was definitely not within our budget. Maybe once we had a more substantial fortune and source of income, they would be, but for now we needed to stick with the cheap option. With twenty caps, we bought what would hopefully last us for two days.

We decided it would be a good idea to set aside some caps. Gust hadn’t said we needed to spend all of them, just that he didn’t feel like counting out such an amount. Fifteen caps were spent on ammunition for my rifle. Thankfully, .22LR rounds seemed to be some of the cheapest. It made sense, given how much smaller they were. Because of their size, they were also able to reach very high velocities, but didn’t have much destructive ability compared to larger rounds.

I packed the dozen small bullets into my harness’ pouch and asked the merchant, “Do you have anything that could help repair my rifle? It’s in fairly terrible shape. I might not be able to afford it, but I’d like to ask anyway.”

“Well, I don’t have any individual parts, but I do have a fairly unusable varmint rifle I could scrap to repair yours. Wouldn’t be that expensive, probably twenty, maybe thirty caps since it’s a fairly simple gun. Depends which parts I can swap out.” He shrugged. “You could also have our local gunsmith, Double Feed, to fix it for you. Would be a proper fix, but it would be even more expensive.”

We didn’t have that much. I tried to keep the disappointment out of my voice. “How much would just the gun cost?” I was pretty confident I could do it myself. After all, I’d spent a lot of time rummaging around the inner workings of mine, how difficult could this be?

“Well, I probably wouldn’t sell it for more than five or ten caps, but just giving it to you would be a waste, I feel. So unless your sister really knows her way around guns, I’d rather just do it myself.”

“I don’t need the whole rifle. I just need to replace the firing pin because it’s bent—somehow—and sometimes misses the rim of the cartridge. Thankfully, the chamber is mostly intact, but the receiver is dented in certain places and rusted through in others and I worry the gun might just fall apart. I don’t have the tools to fix it, so I’m thinking of just replacing it,” I stated flatly, staring him down. Technically, even the barrel needed to be replaced; this entire weapon was in a terrible state.

“Or maybe you know your way around guns. Fine, I’ll sell it for five caps, but I don’t think the receiver is in great shape, either. Dunno about the firing pin.” He shrugged and reached into the duffle bag behind him, and wrote down another line on our tab.

Just like that, we’d gone through forty-five of our caps. I wanted more ammo, but Candy insisted we were better off holding onto some money, and I had to agree. Still, we needed to find a way to make more, or to scavenge for food.

We approached Gust’s table again, and he took a quick look at the sheet before digging out the caps from a bag behind him. When he handed them to Candy, she asked him, “Is there any job we could do around here?” Glancing at the posters behind him, she then quickly added, “Preferably one not involving murder.”

“Well, there are always some errands to run,” he replied. “We have a notice board, but I actually have something a bit more pressing. You see, our resident radio host, Airwaves, has gone missing. Again.” He rolled his eyes. “Yesterday afternoon, she said something about scavenging old electronics for her station, and today she’s been missing the whole day.”

Candy nodded in understanding. “And you want us to find her?” If she was still alive. In this cold, she would have died if she spent the night outside. And where would we even start looking?

“Correct. She always scavenges for electronics in the old metro tunnels. I suspect she might have gotten swarmed by ghouls, since those things tend to flock underground when it’s as cold as now. She’s pretty nimble, being a pegasus and all, so I doubt she got caught. Most likely, she just barricaded herself in a room and can’t leave due to the ghouls.”

Once more, Candy Cane looked at me. It was still hard to fully wrap around the fact that she cared about what I thought. But then again, she wasn’t just an adult, she was also my friend. It made some sense, after all. “It sounds awfully dangerous, don’t you think? And how would we find her, anyway?” If a proper wastelander couldn’t handle those ghouls, then what odds did we stand?

“I’m not asking you to necessarily bring her back, just to find her. I have her PipBuck tag written down somewhere, that should help you find her. With your EFS, you should be able to tell if there’s a crowd. If there is, you can just come back, if there ain’t, well… they likely ate her and dispersed.” Oh, of course those things ate ponies. Somehow, that hadn’t crossed my mind…

“I suppose that’s reasonable,” said Candy. “But why us? Surely you have somepony better for the job.

Gust shook his head. “None of my griffs are available, and it would take someone a day to search every metro station around here. You two have PipBucks, that already makes the whole thing easier.”

I furrowed my brow. “Why does nopo—nobody else have another PipBuck?”

“Only the best of us get PipBucks, and those tend to work in more important places. She had hers before even working for me. What’s it matter to you?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Nothing, I’m just curious.”

We agreed on the terms. Twenty caps to walk East for less than an hour, according to the PipBuck map. If we had the opportunity to and did bring her back, we would get a bonus—even if we only brought back a corpse. He explained the directions to us, and to my amazement, my PipBuck showed a marker on my EFS. Candy seemed to have it too, as she turned to look in its direction, but unlike me, she wasn’t awed.

We decided to leave our cart here. We’d taken most of our valuables out of it, and the New Detrot train station was well enough guarded that nopony would try to steal it without the guards’ accords. While we didn’t like the idea of trusting the armed griffins—or anypony in New Detrot, for that matter—there was also no real reason for them to steal a cart like ours. Would be bad for business, after all.

After maybe fifty minutes of walking, I was still surprisingly energetic. Then again, I hadn’t had too many issues walking down Foal Mountain, so maybe a day or two of rest was all I’d needed. Though I probably also needed to start eating properly again. In the week I’d spent outside, I’d gotten slightly skinnier, and given I’d always been skirting the line to underweight, this was definitely not a good thing. My ribs prominently protruded from underneath my coat. This was why Candy was confident none of them were broken.

I attempted to turn my attention away from my chest and towards the road. Thinking about it seemed to make the pain worse, but forgetting about it led me to do reckless things that made it hurt much worse. There was no winning with this injury, was there?

We eventually reached the entrance to the metro our PipBucks had been pointing to. Gust had discouraged us from entering the tunnel prematurely, and so we’d ended up walking most of the way above ground, despite the cold. We found out that the green and the red metro lines met up in Marey Junction, which was a day—roughly ten hours—from New Detrot on hoof. The sheer scale of the region baffled both Candy and I.

I’d read about it prior—about the rapid growth of the region during the late Celestian rule due to a sudden golden industrial age—and knew how it had led to one of the most spread out centres of population in pre-war Equestria. Seeing it in person, and having already walked so much, however, was a very different experience. Fifty kilometres did not seem like a lot until you had to cover it on hoof.

As we walked down the ramp—there were stairs, but my injury made me avoid those—red bars started appearing, one by one. By the time we arrived at the bottom, there were six. No, seven. The bad part was that they all roughly coincided with our target marker. “I think this is good enough. We know there’s a crowd of red bars there, that should be good enough. I don’t think we can fight this many ghouls, so I would rather remain unnoticed,” I told Candy.

“Ah, you see bars? Well, I’d rather check out the crowd anyway. I’d feel bad for half-assing a job. We don’t need to get that close, just close enough to make sure.” I wasn’t too keen on the idea, but she did have a point, especially since Airwave’s bar hadn’t appeared yet. What worried me most was how dark the tunnel was, but that could work to our advantage as well, especially since we had PipBucks, and they likely did not.

We slowly advanced into the darkness, careful to not make any noise, until eventually, a single white bar appeared, slightly to the right of the crowd. I tried to whisper to Candy, but she was too far to hear me. I considered my options. I could either call out to her slightly louder, or catch her attention in other ways. If I touched her telekinetically, she might get shocked and make a sound, but I suspected it wouldn’t be louder than her hoofsteps. I tugged on her saddlebags. Big mistake, as she audibly gasped. Louder than her hoofsteps.

Immediately, steps could be heard as the red bars started moving. Candy immediately took a combat stance, shotgun floating by her side. “Iron, if you could light up the tunnel side-to-side with your magic, that would be perfect.”

I telekinetically unharnessed my rifle, and started channelling more and more magic into my grip until my horn glowed blindingly red, illuminating a huge portion of the underground metro.

I’d never channelled this much energy into simple telekinesis. I might have used a similar amount when popping the raider’s head, but never had I poured this much power into holding a relatively light object.

I couldn’t have predicted what came next; suddenly, I could feel every nook and microscopic fissure on the metal’s surface. I could even notice how it moved alongside my breathing. This would come in handy for keeping my gun steady, and would help me aim. Granted, short-range it wouldn’t make a difference, but it was still a good trick to remember. I furrowed my brow. This probably happened because the extra energy wasn’t being used as raw strength, and instead translated to sensitivity.

I snapped out of my brief reverie to find a flock of ghouls rushing towards Candy. With my improved control, it wasn’t difficult to swing my rifle exactly where I meant to. However, channelling this much magic wasn’t practical, since I had to split my concentration between aiming and maintaining my telekinesis. Instead, I just slipped into SATS and queued two shots at two different ghouls’ heads, the spell estimating the likelihood to hit at ninety-five percent each.

As I pulled the trigger, I felt everything. I felt the hammer release, accelerated by the spring, slam the firing pin, the latter hit the cartridge, the primer ignite, and the explosion spread to the gunpowder. The entire experience sent shivers through my whole body. It was as pleasant as a hot shower, but not in the same, relaxing manner. To my telekinetic touch, it felt like a gorgeous, upbeat tune sounded to my ears. It was like touching a soft fabric with my hooves. It was all those things together, but also just so much better.

My telekinesis stopped my rifle’s recoil dead in its tracks, but I lost some sensitivity as the gun exerted a force inside my grip. Then, I felt my telekinesis pull back the bolt, the magazine feed another .22 calibre round into the chamber—nearly jamming in the process—and the bolt slide back into place, guided by my magic. The firing process repeated, feeling just as exquisite as before, sending ripples of ecstasy through my horn.

When the spell ended, I found myself panting. The reason was beyond me, but now that I was out of SATS charges, I started worrying I would have to go for body shots. I had a hard time focusing on the spell, so I doubted I’d be able to land hits on moving targets. Not to mention, I didn’t have .22 calibre ammo to waste. Instead, I pulled out my 10mm pistol. I had more bullets for it, and they were slightly more destructive when going for body shots—at least according to my theory. Ideally, I would have used my shotgun, but with Candy this close to me, I didn’t want to risk any stray pellets reaching her.

Shot after shot sent waves of pleasure through my horn and mind, and I started laughing every time my shots sent sickly green fluid flying. On average, I needed three shots to down a ghoul. I didn’t pay much mind to Candy, but I could tell she was smashing ghouls, and probably having just as much fun as I did. My pistol’s hammer clicked on an empty chamber, and I noticed in horror that one ghoul was still running at me.

My telekinesis fumbled for my spare magazine, and the world slowed to a crawl as I realised that it was futile. I was about to get killed. I regretted not having grabbed for the rifle instead, knowing very well it was now too late to shoot it. I entered SATS, but the spell refused to do anything. Was this the end? I released the spell, hoping it wouldn’t be painful.

Instead of pain came a shotgun’s roar, and next thing I knew, the ghoul lay on the ground, shredded up by lead pellets. Candy then turned around to the last red bar, and squashed the ghoul’s head between the wall and her right hindleg with a swift and powerful buck, before wiping her hoof clean on the concrete. She turned to me and asked if I was alright. I nodded in reply, heart racing, hooves shaking, breathing heavy. She then made a comment on how much she hated ghouls.

I turned on my PipBuck’s flashlight and stopped channelling huge amounts of magic into my telekinesis. I immediately missed the hyper-sensitive touch I’d had for the past minute or two. Then, my head throbbed. I hadn’t realised how much power I’d been pushing until I’d stopped, and the sudden stop hit me like recoil. How long could I even have kept going? Now that it was gone, my magic sense felt… empty, in a way. It was like when sometimes my eyes would lose focus and my vision would blur, and I’d end up staring into blank space.

The door in the wall opened, and a dirt grey pegasus mare cautiously stepped through the frame. To my surprise, she was neither armed nor armoured. “You here to rescue me?” she asked, squinting her emerald eyes at the harsh PipBuck light. I quickly aimed my flashlight away from her.

“Yeah,” replied Candy. “We weren’t originally supposed to fight the ghouls, we were just here to confirm what was happening.”

“Neato. You gals wanna help me carry some of my loot to my place?” Airwaves asked. “I’ll pay you, and buy you a drink or two,” she added nonchalantly, tucking her white bangs back behind her ear. What an… interesting character.

We agreed, and each of us started packing some of the delicate electronics Airwaves had extracted. All that remained was a single heavy-looking metal box. Airwaves looked at it and sighed. “I guess one of the griffs is gonna have to come get it.” She glanced at Candy. “Although… You look strong enough that you might be able to carry it, if we strap it to your back. What do you say, for an extra fifteen caps?”

Candy just nodded in reply, and we decided I’d help her get the box onto her back. Part of me was hoping the pegasus would be amazed by my strength. As I started channelling energy into lifting the heavy box, something felt off. My magic felt… sore? That was the best way I could describe it. It almost felt like a muscle I’d overused. That had never happened to me before.

Finally, the box lifted off the ground, right as my headache was reaching its apex. Kssshhhh… The red glow faded, and the box promptly fell back to the ground. The pain in my skull was pounding. What was going on? I tried again, only to find that my magic wasn’t responding at all. I tried again, but only got a pulse of pain as a result.

“That’s… unfortunate,” whispered Candy. “Did you burn out?”

“Burn out? What’s that…?”

“I’ll… explain later.”

The two mares scrambled to attach the block to Candy’s back, while I sat back, too embarrassed to speak up. My magic had never failed me, why did it have to right after meeting someone for the first time? I wanted to disappear into the ground. Did she think I was some kind of show-off?

During the trip back, Airwaves complained on and on about how it was Gust’s fault she had been stuck down there. Apparently, the griffin had told her that she needed to wait a few days until he could send one of his Talons along with her. She told us she couldn’t wait that long, and so she decided to scavenge on her own, safety be damned. How stupid and reckless of her. Then again, I was perhaps not the best pony to comment on that.

When we returned to New Detrot, Gust gave us our payment, as well as a bonus of fifteen caps for also bringing Airwaves back. It didn’t cover the cost of the ammunition I’d expended, but since it wasn’t in our agreement, he refused to pay extra. However, with the added thirty-five caps from Airwaves herself, we did turn a profit. Candy had been happy to help a pony in need, but I didn’t really care. A griffin would have rescued her eventually anyway.

Airwaves invited us to come by Double Shot’s bar for a drink in a few hours. Given that it was starting to get dark, Candy and I wanted to find a quiet place to hide the wagon and later sleep. As she pulled it away from the train station, she started a conversation. “You know, that was really impressive, in the metro.”

“You… think so?” I replied. My ego was still hurt by my inability to lift a simple box. I should ask her about that. Or maybe I could find some information on it in the Big Book of Arcane Science (Definitive Edition).

“Yeah. Your aim was really good, I’m proud of you. On top of that, knowing you had my left side covered allowed me to fight better than I otherwise could have.” She turned to me, shooting me a smile that instantly made me happier. “Of course, that overglow you channelled helped me see, so I suppose that was even more important, thanks.”

“I’m glad to help, but what do you mean by overglow? I think I saw that word in the Big Book of Arcane Science, but I didn’t have the time to read about it yet.”

“It’s when you pour more magic than needed into a spell, or something like that. I never paid much attention in magic class, but I’m surprised you didn’t even hear of it. Come to think of it, it’s even stranger that you didn’t know about burnout,” she said, turning her gaze forward again.

“Well, like I told you, the focus of my education was mostly on stable and pre-stable history. Magic was mostly something I experimented with during my free time, and when Mother gave me time to explore my cutie mark options. Could you tell me more about burnouts?”

“We say that unicorns ‘burn out’ when we overuse our magic. Most of us experience it as young foals, so I’m surprised you didn’t know about it. Though your explanation makes sense, and it even explains why you would have used overglow instead of a simple light spell.”

“There’s such a thing as light spells?” I said, perplexed. On second thought it made sense, but the possibility had never crossed my mind.

She replied, “Yeah, it’s a basic spell found in any foal’s magic book.”

“Oh, Mother told me I could skip those, since magic came so naturally to me.”

Candy stared at me for a moment, wide-eyed, then she raised an eyebrow before saying, “It’s odd that your cutie mark isn’t related to magic, given how strong yours is.”

“Well, just because my body is able to, doesn’t mean I need a cutie mark in it. You don’t have a ghoul-kicking cutie mark, do you?” I countered.

“You do have a point,” she conceded. “Still, I can’t help but think Aunt Brass should have taught you more magic, to at least some extent.”

“I did learn a few spells,” I retorted. “But magic just isn’t the most interesting thing to me. It’s a cool tool and does have intriguing aspects, but I wouldn’t really wanna learn it just for the sake of learning it.” Well, I’d gotten curious about teleportation, but that had severely backfired, and I’d learned my lesson.

“Hmm. I suppose you can’t just force an interest.”

We’d hidden the wagon in the garage of a pre-war house, making sure nopony had seen us. As usual, we took our actual valuables with us. It did weigh us down, but it was better than taking an unnecessary risk.

We entered Double Shot’s bar. At the entrance, a sign read: “Mom’s Kitchen. Stir up trouble and you’re getting shot.” Charming.

The inside was surprisingly similar to the small diner in Stable 4, with a large metal counter to our left, surrounded by tall stools. Tables with regular chairs were scattered in the rest of the room. Many ponies sat around the counter, some engaged in casual discussion, laughing, while others quietly enjoyed their drinks or meals.

Most of the tables were either empty or packed full, except for the one occupied by Airwaves, who vacantly stared in the general direction of the counter. When we approached her, she immediately brightened up and greeted us. “If it ain’t my two saviours! Have a seat!” In front of her stood a bottle branded ‘Wild Pegasus Whiskey’, full of amber liquid, as well as three glasses. Opening the bottle, she asked us if we wanted any.

It certainly looked better than wine, but did it taste any better? Before I could accept, Candy spoke up, “Well, we’re both too young to drink. Or maybe not? I’m not too familiar with the laws out here—are there even laws?” Wonderfully awkward, Candy.

“There ain’t, but people will look at you weirdly if you get a kid drunk.” Anyway, I don’t buy that you’re too young to drink.” She pointed to me. “Her? She’s pretty short, so I’d believe she’s a filly.” I was surprised she didn’t immediately think of me as one, “But you? At the youngest, you look a couple of years younger than me.” Airwaves furrowed her brow. “Actually, I guess it might be different in stables.”

Candy smacked her lips. “I… I don’t know about this…”

“What? You worried I put something into it? Watch.” She poured herself a glass, before immediately downing it. “See? Perfectly safe.” She stared at nothing in particular for a few seconds, brows high and lips puckered. “Actually, maybe limit yourself to half a glass. Stuff’s pretty strong, ’specially if you’ve never had booze before.”

“Fine, I’m curious enough to try,” Candy replied.

After Airwaves poured the two drinks, she turned to me. “What about you? Or are you actually as young as she suggested? It’s hard to tell, ‘cause you have this gloomy look on your face. Oh, and the scar certainly gives you a more mature vibe, y’know?” Was she always such a chatterbox? Or was that just the alcohol? Was she even drunk already? How long did—

Candy set down her glass, grimacing from the taste. “Absolutely not.”

For a moment, I almost accepted her word for it, but she wasn’t Mother. She couldn’t make such choices for me, and she had to respect my opinion. “I’d still like to try, if only a little bit.”

“Splendid!” said Airwaves.

“Not splendid! She—”

“Come on, loosen up. Kid wants to try, what harm could there be in a couple of sips?” When Candy only scrunched up her muzzle and looked away, Airwaves poured me less than a third of what she’d given Candy. “Oops,” she added sheepishly. “That’s more than I intended. Oh well.”

I smiled up at her. “Thanks, Miss Airwaves.”

“No problem,” she replied with a wink. “I get the feeling, you know? I’m a kid at heart.” She rolled her eyes. “Though others try to claim I’m ‘immature’ or ‘irresponsible’. Pricks, the lot of them!”

A chuckle escaped my mouth, I grabbed the glass in my magic and drank half of it in one gulp. Big mistake: it set my mouth and throat on fire, and I found myself coughing hard enough that I almost vomited. By the Stars, this stuff was vile! After a few agonising seconds, I was finally able to partly regain my bearings. Candy stared at me while Airwaves tried her best to avoid bursting out laughing. I swallowed my pride—it tasted less disgusting than whiskey—and asked, “Can I get some water, please?” Water was one of the things we’d left in our wagon.

Without wasting a moment, Candy walked towards the bar. I needed to get rid of this aftertaste, and I doubted water would do the trick. Ugh. Fine, this was an emergency situation, and it warranted using some of my limited supply of candy. It was late enough that the sugar crash wouldn’t be an issue, anyway.

I turned to my saddlebags and levitated out my tin of mint-als, placing one underneath my tongue. It… slightly helped. Maybe the water would do better. I looked up at Airwaves, who now only blinked at me, wide-eyed. She opened her mouth, but when I let my glare harden, she remained quiet. Good, I didn’t really want to talk until I had some water to rinse my palate.

Candy returned, fuming, carrying a water bottle in her pink telekinesis. “Thirty caps for some clean water, would you believe that‽” Stars curse me. Had I just wasted thirty of our caps? Too late to complain now. I grabbed the water and took several large swigs, lodging my mint in between my teeth and cheek to avoid swallowing it. Did she get ripped off, or was water really that valuable out here?

“That’s the price you pay for the fancy, purified water,” commented Airwaves. This answered that.

“Well, it was that or dirty water,” whined Candy. She levitated her glass to her lips and took a gentle sip, and somehow didn’t almost die, unlike me.

“It’s not that dirty. I mean, you won’t die immediately after drinking it, but it’s probably not great for you in the long run. Still, clean stuff’s expensive ‘cause it costs power to produce-slash-purify, and that’s not something we have a lot of around here.”

“I’m surprised there even is any power at all,” I commented. “Judging by the state of the world.”

Airwaves giggled at my comment, and gave me an amused look. “You think over a hundred and eighty years would pass by, and ponies wouldn’t at least try to rebuild the world?” She took a sip from her poison.

“You… have a point. It’s just that everything seems to be in such terrible shape,” I replied, feeling silly.

“Honestly, if it weren’t for those Celestia-damned pegasi, we’d be much further along in the reconstruction. Agriculture is our biggest concern, and our biggest power-drain.” She swooshed the liquid around in her glass before taking another sip.

Wasn’t she a pegasus? What did she mean by that? I had to find a way to ask that without sounding clueless. Then again, would it really be the end of the world if I sounded clueless? Yes, because she would judge me. She’d think I’m stupid. And I wasn’t stupid. With this mint, I’d be smart enough to properly ask what I meant, and—

“What do you mean by that? Aren’t you a pegasus?” asked Candy.

“I meant the Enclave.” She giggled and stuck out her tongue.

“The what?” was Candy’s response.

“Right. Stable dwellers.” She sighed. “I’m not in the mood to give you guys a proper history lesson on the wasteland and how fucked up it is, but I’ll tell you this much. You ever wonder why the clouds never lift?”

Candy nodded. “Well, I was starting to wonder when we would see the sun.”

“Likely never. Maybe once, if you get lucky. Pegasi use the clouds to grow crops so that they can stay up there and let us rot. They’re fucking cowards, willing to put the comfort of a small population of their own over the well-being of the entirety of Equestria.” She finished her glass in one swift swig, and I cringed at the idea of doing the same.

“Growing crops on clouds? How does that work?” I asked, perplexed, while the white pegasus poured herself another glass.

“Fuck if I know, I’ve never been up there.” My eyebrows furrowed on their own.

“You… Can’t get up there?” I knew I was asking an obvious question, but I genuinely wanted to know, whether I look clueless or not.

“I could try, but I’d just get roasted by their magical energy weapons.” She gave a dry chuckle. “Yeah no, I can’t. Never been up there, never plan on going. Fuckers cast out my mom for saying things they didn’t like.” That was… interesting. What were their internal politics like for them to be willing to go to such lengths to censor their people? The stable had never needed anything along these lines.

“I’m… sorry to hear that, miss,” said Candy. Somehow, she’d already gotten through her glass of whiskey.

“Well, it’s not like I care. I’d honestly rather live here, no matter how tough it gets, at least I wouldn’t have to feel guilty for fucking over thousands of other ponies.” I was starting to get tired of her swearing. As a matter of fact, I was starting to get tired of her entire attitude.

“But there’s something bugging me,” remarked Candy. “We saw fresh produce in the main hall, how is that even possible? It should be too cold to grow anything, on top of not being sunny enough.”

“It’s part of why power is so scarce here. We have a group of five earth ponies growing crops in greenhouses, but they use up a ton of electricity to run. We’re constantly running into issues with the substations, but the main issue comes from just a supply. The little power we currently have comes from the Hoofer dam, but that thing is half broken, and tryna’ fix it will just getcha radiation poisoning. On top of that, it’s so far north that even getting there is a huge pain in the ass.” She took a large swig directly from the bottle, not bothering to refill her glass. “Hic!”

“Are you sure you should be drinking this much?” Worry was clear in her voice. Why was she concerned for this annoying, loudmouth pegasus? Well, if anything happened to her, we would lose our source of regional news, but I doubted she would die from drinking too much. She looked much too used to this to accidentally overdo it. Wait, was I judging her unfairly simply because she could drink so much of this gross stuff?

“I’ll be fiiiiine.” Yes, I was judging her, but it was perfectly fair. Now, even I was able to notice the effects of the alcohol on her. Her speech sounded slurred. If I remembered correctly, drinking large amounts of it made your brain work slower, and I just couldn’t understand why a pony would willingly subject themself to both the taste and the effect. I’d get it if it at least tasted good, but as it stood, I was utterly and completely confused by adults, once again. Candy didn’t seem to love it as much, as she only drank small sips of the stuff, but she didn’t seem to hate it as much as I did, either.

I lost track of their conversation as I was distracted by the room instead. It was full of all types of ponies, as well as a griffin, but Airwaves was the only pegasus, partially confirming what she’d mentioned earlier. There were a few large earth pony stallions that looked strong enough to give Candy a run for her bits—or caps, I suppose—but most people here were scrawny and short. In the crowd, a dim grey unicorn with a green mane caught my eye. He wasn’t nearly as thin as everypony else in the room, and while he was only as tall as the average pony in the room, he seemed to stand above the entire room. He had an aura of nobility to him, reminiscent of Mother, yet didn’t seem haughty, only slightly arrogant. I turned my attention to the rest of the ponies in the saloon.

As I looked through the small crowd, I recognised some of the merchants from earlier, and it got me thinking. What were all these ponies doing here? Not the bar specifically, but I couldn’t tell why New Detrot of all places. Was there no other option? What were their occupations?

During a gap in Candy and Airwave’s discussion, I asked, “What kind of place is New Detrot? Who comes through here?” I hoped she was still functional enough to answer this. Given that I’d only zoned out for at most five minutes, I dared hope she was.

“Mostly merchants and prospectors~” she replied in a sing-song voice. What was wrong with this mare? “Ujually there’s much less ponies ‘ere, but with the cold a lot of them are staying over. S’good for business.” Oh great, now she wasn’t even trying to sound normal anymore. “Gust lets ponies trade safely here, and in exchange they pay a small tax. It’s win-win. We also make money from the local inn and the bar. Almost everypony in the region has to pass through here at shome point.” She was moving her head back and forth, seemingly amused. Was she enjoying the loss of balance? Was that even a symptom of alcohol intoxication?

Then, it was Candy’s turn to ask a question, “How do you get by, by the way?” Wasn’t her job to be the news mare? Or did she not get paid to do that?

“Oh, I work directly for Gusht~ He says it’s good for business to help ponies stay safe. I’m glad I get to do it, ‘cause I love my job, and I’d do it regardless of the capz.”

I lost myself in thoughts again, catching bits and pieces of other conversations. I felt ever so slightly lightheaded and suspected it was from the tiny amount of alcohol I’d drunk. Then, I noticed two stallions walking towards our table. The larger of the two approached Candy. “Good evening, missy. I noticed you across the room, and I gotta say, you’re lookin’ mighty fine. You wanna get outta here and have some fun?”

Candy’s eyes shot wide, but after a second she regained her composure and replied with her usual soft and gentle voice, “No, but thank you for the offer.”

The other stallion, shorter but just as muscular as the first told him, in what appeared to be an attempt at whispering, “Try the turkey, she looks hammered enough that she’d fuck a chair.”

Airwaves clearly heard him too, and she turned to smirk at him. “No thanks, I ain’t drunk enough to fuck the likes of you. Maybe if you looked more like furniture.” Huh? She sounded more sober than when she was sober.

The larger stallion hit the other in the ribs, making him yelp and massage his side. Without thinking, I touched my own side. The shorter stallion, once he was done complaining, turned to me. “What about you, eh?”

“Someone’s desperate,” quipped Airwaves. “Third time’s the charm, isn’t it? Age is just a number, and you never learned to count, did you?”

“Why don’t you fuck off and let her decide on her own, featherbrain?” He moved closer to me, “So, what do you say? Want me to make you a mare?”

He tried to take another step towards me, but Candy blocked him and grumbled, “Touch her, and I’ll crush your fucking skull.” Her voice was ice cold and sharp like a razor, sending shivers down my spine. The stallion gulped and took a few steps back. I couldn’t blame him; she had scared me as well, and I knew she was on my side.

Suddenly, I heard a stallion clear his throat, and I noticed the bartender, Double Shot, standing next to our table. “Is there a problem here?” she asked, a hoof on the sawed-off shotgun hanging from her neck.

Candy replied, her voice amicable and warm again, “No, of course not. We were simply telling these gentlecolts we weren’t interested in their generous offer.” Suddenly, everything she had done for me these past few days came together, culminating in a warm, cosy feeling. For the first time in years, I felt safe.

She turned back towards Airwaves, who stared at Candy slack-jawed and wide-eyed. Candy just smiled, restarting their previous topic—mostly complaining about the cold—but I could tell Airwaves was not listening. She was clearly too busy staring at Candy. Was this what Arcane had looked like during her first day at work? Or was I misreading things?

“So, what else can you tell us about the region, Miss Airwaves?” I was glad the discussion returned to an interesting topic.

Her conversation partner slurred out her reply, “Weeeell… There ain’t as many ponies livin’ ‘ere as there are everywhere else. ‘Cause it’s so hard and hard to s’rvive up here.”

Candy raised an eyebrow. “Then how come ponies live here at all?”

“Speshifically because there’s so few ponies here.” She paused and contemplated her glass for a second, glanced over at the bottle, and shook her head. “There’s a whole heap o’ pre-bomb settlements ’round here, which means we get lots of very small, very isolated communities all ’round the region. New Detrot is actually the biggest non-ghoul settlement in aaaaall of midnorthern Equestria.” She gestured above her head with both hooves.

“That’s a lot of information to take in at once,” admitted Candy. “How common are these settlements?”

“I dunno, if you go north or west or south-east of here along the metro tracks, you’re gonna see small suburbs every few hours. I wonder what those damn pre-war ponies thought. Why spread out over an entire region like this? I don’t get it. And why did they even call their train tracks metro lines? More than half of it is above ground!”

Against my better judgement, I spoke up, “Actually, I can answer that. You see, in the late Celestian era, the Equestrian economy boomed, as did the manufacturing industry.” Sweet Stars, why did I have to open my mouth? “Over a few years, a lot of companies started outsourcing their production needs to Detrot, which created an large number of jobs in the industrial area, which quickly started outgrowing the residential areas.”

When I paused to take a sip of water, I half expected, half hoped they would return to their chatter, but as they stared at me, expecting me to continue, I cursed myself. Now ponies would think I was a show-off…

I swallowed another sip of water. “Because… because of this, ponies started living a bit further away, since rent was much cheaper, and transport only took a little longer. Metro lines were established, and this trend continued. Living further away from the city was both more comfortable and cheaper for a lot of ponies.” The words kept coming, as if they weren’t mine at all. “The region only really stopped growing when the coal shortages began, and suddenly many ponies lost their jobs but could not move away. Owning property that no one wanted to buy left them stranded in the region. It only partly recovered when armed conflict started, and manufacturing was needed as part of the war effort.”

Airwaves and Candy continued to stare at me, expressions indecipherable. Finally, Airwaves broke the silence: “Wow, you are a nerd if I’ve ever seen one.”

I opened my mouth, but suddenly no words came to me.

Candy shot her a glare. “Don’t be rude, Airwaves.”

Airwaves rolled her eyes. “Was just makin’ an observation…”

“You know, I’m pretty sure I had that in school as well, but I don’t remember any of it. I’m actually impressed at how good you are at remembering stuff like that.”

“So this is normal knowledge for stable folk? Damn…” So now that Candy was impressed, this was suddenly impressive knowledge? Hypocrite. Before long, their dialogue returned to things I didn’t care about.

I once again lost track of their conversation, and started looking around the room again. I couldn’t tell what compelled me to—I’d seen everything there was to see. However, my movement didn’t really feel like my own. Was I imagining things? Was this related to alcohol? Was it maybe the combination of alcohol and sugar rush? Were my movements influenced by the drink, or was it my perception of them that was altered? It really was hard to tell, but this almost felt like that memory talisman. Unlike that, however, those movements were still mine, just… odd.

I walked out of the bar, and into the night, following behind Candy. Feeling the sugar crash, I’d told her I was sleepy, and she decided it was time to leave. By now, my movements were entirely alien to me and my step more hesitant than ever. I was almost hiding behind Candy, and felt ready to jump underneath her the moment danger presented itself. Part of me doubted it was simply the alcohol, but I had no other explanation. I wanted to ask Candy or Airwaves, but didn’t manage to open my mouth.

She eventually split from us, taking to the air. Half a minute later, I could have sworn I heard her crash into a wall, but Candy didn’t react. Wasn’t any of my business, though I suspected Candy would make it her business if she found out.

As we slowly walked to where we’d hidden the cart, I noticed something odd in the corner of my eye. I wanted to turn to it, take another glance. Not that I could look if I wanted to. It was probably nothing.

Moments later, a pony emerged from the shadows, running towards Candy, a large knife in his mouth. Right behind him ran another pony, this one coming for me with a metal bat. The haze disappeared, and my movements were my own again. Within two seconds, I unharnessed my pistol. Within three, I slipped into SATS, queuing three bullets to his head. Within six, the bullet exited through the back of his skull. I started cackling. This had been the idiot that Candy had threatened earlier: the smaller of the two stallions.

I glanced over to her, and noticed she’d restrained the stallion, despite him being significantly larger than her. With a blow to the back of his head, she made him drop the blade before kicking it away. She then ran over to his buddy, presumably to loot his corpse. I took the opportunity to finish off the larger one. Candy turned around the second she heard the gunshot. She stared at the puddle of blood flowing from his head, gasping in shock. “Iron, what the fuck did you do‽ There’s nothing to smile about, either!”

My heart sank. “I… wasn’t supposed… to kill him? But he was attacking us…”

“No! I incapacitated him, he was no longer a threat!”

“I just wanted to help…” That was a lie. I’d killed him because I wanted to. I hadn’t given it a second thought. I was given an excuse, and I took it. Just what was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I be normal? Why couldn’t I be the pony she wanted me to be?

Her expression softened, and she hugged me. I cried on her shoulder, while she gently caressed my back. I didn’t deserve her, but Stars did I not want to let go.

Footnote:

New Perk: Telekinetic Sense I — Your telekinesis allows you to feel the finer details of the surface of the objects that you pick up in its aura. Additionally, you no longer need to see what you want to reach with your magic—your sense of touch can now work as well. In practice, this means you can spread your telekinesis inside objects.

New Perk: Teleportation ½ — You can teleport! Sort of. You’re able to teleport diagonally straight down, as long as you aren’t carrying too much weight.

Author's Note

2024 Edit: Whee, I love editing nearly 18k words of mediocre writing. I didn't have the time to entirely lift the chapter to my current standards for prose, but I've gone ahead and gotten rid of the worst of it. I've also fixed some characterisation for Candy, Iron, and Airwaves. ~~Seriously why tf did I think such a long chapter was a good idea? Half of it is exposition ffs~~

Fun fact the first: When I first started writing this story, I knew nothing about guns. When I wrote this chapter, I thought I knew about guns, and was clearly at the top of the Dunning-Krueger curve (also known as Mount Stupid). I've gone ahead and make the gun-talk less obnoxious and less stupidly wrong.

Fun fact the second: when I first wrote this chapter, my reference for chest pain was the time in the early 2010's when I bruised a rib from coughing. Funnily enough, this happened to me again. Last week.

Chapter 7 — The Scavenger Life

Chapter 7: The Scavenger Life

The ghouls were closing in, and I’d just emptied my shotgun. Panicked, I pulled out my 10mm pistol, undid the safety and started shooting. As expected, it wasn’t nearly as effective as the shotgun, but I just didn’t have time to reload that one. I felt myself starting to shake. Was I going to die? I couldn’t die here. I just couldn’t. This wasn’t even my fault. I couldn’t die because of somepony else’s mistake!

After I emptied my first magazine, I immediately switched in the other. The pack was drawing closer and closer, and nothing I did seemed to push them back, even slightly. My mind was racing. I had so few options. At this rate, I would have to attempt a teleport. Could I even manage a teleport? I pulled the trigger again, and again. Damn it, I wasn’t being smart with my shots. I only had five bullets left. No no no no. With every shallow breath, my head only spun more.

Four shots. Empty magazine. I’d miscounted! How? I was screwed! My rifle? No. Didn’t shoot fast enough. I started casting the teleportation spell, only to have it fizzle midway.

I reached for my shotgun. My shotgun? No, no ammo! Think, think, think, think, think, think, think!

What would anypony else do in my situation? Probably pray, interjected the cynical part of my brain. I didn’t have time for this!

Cynical or not, it did have a point, didn’t it? I was about to die. Nothing I could do would save me, but if I was to die, I may as well. Instinctively, my thoughts snapped to that moment beneath the sky, and to those lone few stars above me. Those beautiful, beautiful stars.

They’d saved me once, and here I was, ready to let myself die? Screw that! After seeing that, I would not allow a few ferals to be the end of me! I still had a few moments before they would pounce. Seconds, at most, but I could still do something.

I turned around to face the idiot who’d gotten us into this mess, enveloped her in my aura, and meticulously performed the setup for teleportation, guiding my magic down corridor upon corridor of intricate spell design as fast as I dared. The path had been engraved into my memory from the many attempts; I only needed to follow it.

As it finished, a realisation hit me. The spell would cancel if there was no space below us, but I didn’t have the time to redo it! I didn’t even know how to redo it! When the nearest ghoul raised its hoof, I let go of the spell.

The energy meandered, festered. I’d failed! No, I hadn’t! Perhaps out of instinct, maybe out of sheer luck, I pushed. I poured everything into the channel, shoving the energy somewhere, anywhere else. No, not anywhere! Towards the staircase! The ghoul brought down its hoof, but I only felt the spell snap back like a rubber band, sending shockwaves of agony through my horn and into my head, as my world turned red and my ears began to ring. I squeezed my eyes shut as a thousand hot nails buried themselves into my skull. But I was alive, and the pain was easing.

When I finally opened my eyes, I saw Candy, slumped over the railing and sobbing.

When I startled her by clearing my throat, she stared at me for a few moments, wide-eyed. She shook her head and faced the pack of ghouls, who remained clumped up, as if the ones in the back hadn’t even noticed I’d disappeared. One after the other, they turned towards Candy, who by now had run down the flight of stairs while I stayed on the first storey.

From this new perspective, the crowd seemed tiny. I must have culled a good portion of them earlier. Now I could finally bring out my varmint rifle and get to work. I started lining up shot after shot, instead of haphazardly dumping my magazine into the mob whenever it came too close. I was still angry at Lockpick’s mistake, so slaughtering some ghouls was an excellent way to let off some steam.

Unfortunately, my frustration caused me to occasionally miss a shot. That, in turn, only angered me more. Blowing up ghouls’ heads just wasn’t as cathartic as I wanted it to be. Now, pony skulls… No! Bad brain! Murder was wrong. Well, it was okay as self-defence, or to protect somepony else, I guess. Candy had killed Silver to save me. But even then, she’d said it was only okay because he was a bad pony. Was it okay to kill anypony so long as they were bad? I groaned. Not the time for deep philosophy, Iron.

I had ghouls to kill. If only I could stop missing those easy shots! This was all Lockpick’s fault! I wanted to shoot her, too, for screwing up this entire plan and for forcing me to waste so much ammo! Would serve her right! But… it would be wrong.

And it wasn’t even the whole of it; I ultimately didn’t want to hurt her. I’d saved her, after all.

Not even two minutes after my last-second escape, the ground floor was clear of ghouls once again. Ironically, I hadn’t missed a single shot while lost in thought. I also hadn’t paid much attention to the ghouls, and was now getting frustrated that I hadn’t had enough fun. Maybe I’d gotten used to it.

A few red bars had popped up on my EFS, but given that I couldn’t see any of them, I suspected they were simply on other storeys and had been roused by the gunfire.

After the last ghoul fell, Candy ran over to me, hugging me and incoherently babbling about how she’d almost lost me, her tears dripping onto my back and shoulder. Part of me wanted to cry with her, but the rest of my mind shot it down immediately.

When Candy eventually let go, I turned around to look at Banter and Petal, who were both staring at me. I hadn’t paid them any mind until now. They’d been here since the teleportation, and Lockpick had run in between them, now desperately clinging to Petal.

The latter seemed slightly less bored than usual, while Banter appeared genuinely impressed. At least some good came from the situation. “Damn,” he muttered, “I’m starting to believe you might have taken on those raiders alone, with that skill with the rifle.” To be fair, I hadn’t been very good at aiming back at the train station, I’d just gotten lucky. Now I hadn’t pulled off any particularly impressive feat—sniping ghouls from less than twenty metres away was not difficult in the slightest—but if it impressed him, all the better.

The next hour was spent hunting down individual ghouls with Candy, while Banter and his friends stayed in the reception. We were now sure that a vast majority of the ferals had been taken care of. We’d found the first crowd of ghouls in the reception area and in the waiting room. A lot of ponies had died of radiation poisoning there, so it made sense that a lot of them had ghoulified as well.

The rest of them were in the various rooms in the emergency wing, staying here until they had a reason to move. They probably hadn’t heard the gunshot from Candy’s weapon, given how deep in the building they were. Or maybe they just hadn’t been able to open the main entrance. In either case: Stars, that was a lot of ghouls.

My mood only marginally improved; I was still terribly irritated, but I no longer felt the urge to kill something.

Eventually, we met up in the reception area, near the statue of the Ministry of Peace mare. We decided to explore the underground part of the hospital next. At a glance, it seemed like the only way down was through the use of the elevator, which—of course—was out of commission.

While everypony else looked for another way down, I was told to stay with Lockpick here—just in case there were still some ghouls around. I was far from thrilled at the idea of staying in the presence of the filly who’d almost gotten me killed.

As a way to pass the time, I decided to take a look at the elevator shaft. Maybe I could do something, maybe I couldn’t. I unscrewed the control panel and peeked inside.

After less than ten minutes, I figured out how it worked, what was wrong with it, and even how to repair it. Not that it was difficult; I just needed something that could act as a wire. One had broken off and had probably fallen to the very bottom of the elevator shaft. It was such a simple fix that part of me wanted to believe that it would be sufficient to get the machine working again.

I walked over to a lamp that had fallen to the ground, and, pouring all my strength into my magic, ripped out the cable. My headache did not appreciate that; I felt like a red-hot metal bar had been stabbed through my skull.

A few minutes later, I’d replaced the missing part, and hopefully repaired the elevator. I doubted it, but dared to dream.

As a test, I pressed the button, and to my amazement, I heard the sound of movement coming from inside the cage. After a few seconds, the doors opened, and a skeleton that had been resting against the door fell out. It would have hit me if I hadn’t jumped back. It ever so slightly startled me, but I didn’t make a noise. I certainly didn’t shriek. A certain other pony would have, had she been closer to it.

I took a look inside, and my happiness faltered as I realised that the button leading down was missing; in its place was a simple key hole. Ponyfeathers. Would it be possible to shape my magic like a key and unlock it like that? Well, I’d probably need to see the key for that. Or was there a way to figure out the key shape from the lock? Not that I knew of, so that avenue of thought seemed pointless for now.

I tried looking into the internals, to see if I could maybe circumvent the security measure, but the elevator itself, unlike the panel on the outside, was tightly locked, with no way to access the internal wiring. Of course, the one way to access maintenance… seemed to be another key. Amazing. I let out a groan of frustration. “Ugh. Who puts a lock on a maintenance hatch? What’s the point?” I understood the point very well, but given my mental state, I really needed to let off some steam.

I noticed that Lockpick had perked up at the mention of a lock, and she slowly walked over. “D-do you need my help?” she asked in that annoyingly meek voice. Despite her shyness, she sounded like she genuinely wanted to help and had an oddly optimistic tone.

That was the straw that broke the pony’s back, and I snapped, careful to keep my voice level. “Haven’t you already helped enough?” I turned to face her, enjoying the fear on her face. “You stupid, inconsiderate, spoiled brat,” I hissed as quietly as I could, ignoring the white bars on my EFS. Maybe she could help for real, but I was too angry to care.

I didn’t care if somepony overheard this. “All you had to do was shut the stars-damned door. But what did you do? You shrieked like a small child and attracted the attention of every ghoul in the building. You almost got us both killed.” She was on the verge of tears. Good. A trick I’d learned from my mother was to stay quiet when expressing anger. It made you much scarier—especially if you were prone to voice cracks. “Not only are you useless in a fight, you’re also—”

“Iron, calm down,” said Candy. I was about to snap at her as well, but as I turned to look at her, her worried eyes cooled my anger, so I merely groaned. Lockpick’s gentle sobs quieted down as I moved towards the receptionist’s desk, if only to hide my satisfied smirk. Served her right.

I sat down, crossing my forehooves before pulling out my rifle and beginning to polish it, if only to have something to do while waiting. However, my head still hurt whenever I used magic for anything other than the most basic telekinesis. The teleportation had clearly taken a toll on my horn. I groaned. I was now also craving Mint-als. Today was not my day.

For some reason, my feeling of accomplishment had faded, and I was even more annoyed than before. I pulled out one of the novels. I needed to get my mind off of things. At first, I managed to concentrate on reading, but after just a few short pages, my mind started drifting, and I had to make an active effort to keep my attention on the text. Even then, no matter how much I tried to focus, my thoughts would always end up on the sad look on Lockpick’s face, as well as Candy’s disappointed expression.

I sighed and looked back towards the others. Candy said to Lockpick, “It’s okay, I know she didn’t mean any of that.” But I did! Candy then draped a leg over Lockpick, pulling her into a hug. Why was she hugging that useless brat? She should be hugging me! Why did that feel so bad? “I’ll try to get her to apologise later.” What was there to apologise for‽ If anything, she should apologise to me for almost getting me killed!

I tried very hard to get back into my book. No luck. I wasn’t just angry anymore. I was… sad? And maybe guilty—no. I was not feeling guilty.

Why was my mind under the impression that I’d done something terrible? No, I wasn’t feeling guilty. I was simply afraid of repercussions for having spoken my mind. It was as simple as that. That had to be it. Why would I feel guilty over making some stupid foal cry? She’d almost gotten me killed, so how could I possibly be in the wrong here? Brain, you aren’t making any sense. Leave me alone. She deserves to feel terrible. Not feeling guilty.

Why was I so upset? It wasn’t the first time I’d almost died. Was it because I’d willingly risked my life for somepony else? No, that couldn’t be it. I hadn’t even meant to do that.

My unfruitful attempt at reading was interrupted by a sudden, “Got it!” Lockpick’s voice wasn’t very loud, but it was still enough to echo in the empty lobby.

I soon found out she’d apparently picked the lock to access the clinic’s basement, and I ended up reluctantly following them into the elevator, along with Candy.

The other two joined us as well, and we spent the rest of the day scavenging the underground floor. We mostly found medical supplies, though, as expected, very little Rad-Away or Rad-X, as the ponies here had likely used up most of their stock on the day the megaspells fell. The only remaining doses were those that had been overlooked somehow: in the back of a cupboard, or behind some furniture.

As I explored on my own, I eventually found a terminal with a skeleton sitting in front of it, surrounded by empty vials and a syringe. A text document was still open—Stars, those things were resilient. I started reading.

“World-is-fucked log, part 2” What an imaginative, original, and poetic choice of words.

“Fuck. I went upstairs to check on things. Part of me still hoped the world wasn’t fucked, but fuck was I wrong. Shit’s even worse than I could’ve expected. Just… death. Fucking death. Nothing except a sea of corpses. Even the ponies who weren’t outside when the spell hit have died hours ago. Fuck me, my eyes must have deceived me, as some of the corpses seemed to move.

“Now that all hope’s lost, I’ll just take the peaceful route out. I’m just gonna have to take enough of the stuff to skip the unpleasant side effects of an overdose and go straight to unconsciousness.”

I backed into the parent directory and found the document that was presumably part one of this log—given it had an earlier date and was the only other element in the folder.

“Fuck, we’re all gonna die. Well, the ponies upstairs probably all died already anyway. I figure there’s much less radiation down here.

“Screw my oath, I don’t wanna die of radiation poisoning. It’s not like I could help anyway. We’re out of meds. What could I even do, assure ponies they’re gonna die a painful death? Fuck that. I’ll take the cowardly approach. I’ll find a way to off myself before it gets too bad. Thankfully, I should have more time to do so down here.”

I turned the terminal off and rummaged through the desk it stood on. Inside, I found a tin of Mint-als. I could take it and sell it. Or maybe, keep it in the case of an emergency. What if I needed the sug—the high to do something I couldn’t do normally? What if we—

No. If I took this box, I would likely end up hiding it from Candy and eventually taking one in secret. I wasn’t some kind of idiot, and I wouldn’t fall for this. I threw the box behind a medical cupboard. Hopefully that would be enough to dissuade myself from taking it with me.

Searching through the other drawer, I found an odd device. It… looked like it was made to interface with my PipBuck. Though it was much larger than the device itself. If it was made for PipBucks, then it likely was designed for the older models, like Candy’s. However, I had a sneaking suspicion it was forwards compatible with mine as well. I placed it into my saddlebags, and saw it labelled as a StealthBuck. Given that I didn’t find any other interesting objects in the room, I decided to regroup with the others.

Banter’s group had retreated to sleep in their tent next to their cart—the latter being much too small for more than one pony to sleep in. They mostly kept it for merchandise and things they’d scavenged. I was to stay up for the first half of the night, while Candy would take on the later hours, up until morning. I didn’t like not getting enough sleep, but it was our duty to keep everypony safe, and this region was supposedly particularly dangerous.

We were sitting on the back of our own wagon when Candy spoke up, “You know, you really shouldn’t hate Lockpick for what happened today.”

I sighed and took a deep breath. “I… I don’t hate her,” I admitted, much to my own surprise. “It’s just… I got so angry. When she opened that door, she just froze there and screamed, instead of closing it.”

She wrapped me in a hug. “I understand.”

I shook my head as I leaned into her. “This isn’t even the worst part. When she was jumped by that ghoul, I knew the best course of action was to just run away and find a safer spot to shoot from. I knew that if I tried saving her, I’d just end up attracting possibly a lot more ghouls. I knew saving her was the wrong choice, and that it would lead to us both dying. And yet, my body acted on its own. It’s almost like I wanted to save her.” I felt incredibly stupid. I blamed myself as much as I did her.

“Oh Iron, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re a pony, it’s in our nature to care for eachother.” She squeezed me tight. “If anything, I’m so very proud of you; you made the right choice.” I felt a few tears roll down my cheek and land on her armour.

We sat there in silence for a few long, comfortable moments before she spoke up again, “You still need to apologise to her, though.”

“I know…”

“Though there’s one more thing that I don’t understand, why didn’t you teleport sooner?”

When I finished my explanation, she hugged me even tighter, before eventually going to sleep.

We were headed for the western side of Detrot, to a town named Scrapyard. We weren’t on the fastest route, because that would require passing through the territory controlled by Frozen Graveyard, and the ghouls there had become very hostile towards normal ponies over the past year.

I was sitting on our wagon’s roof, binoculars floating in front of me. As usual, nothing ahead, nothing behind. Ghost red bars were still floating on my EFS, but I knew the forest’s animals wouldn’t attack us; I was more worried about things that wouldn’t remain hidden. Things like ghouls.

Or hostile ponies, though the latter had unfortunately not appeared. ‘Unfortunately’? Calm down, brain, we don’t want to encounter any of those. I knew it would weigh heavily on Candy to have to kill another pony, and we wanted to avoid that. Besides, it would be dangerous—but fun! I shook my head. Why was I so damn bloodthirsty? Something had to be wrong with me.

I groaned. I needed a distraction. Reading on the job didn’t sound like a great idea and neither did magic training. I had to stay alert. I looked behind me at the three ponies we were guarding. Petal was pulling their chariot, while Banter and Lockpick quietly walked alongside her. It couldn’t hurt to chat them up, could it?

Especially since I still needed to apologise to Lockpick for berating her.

I took a step towards the ladder, but decided to take the opportunity and practise my teleportation. I breathed in and channelled the spell, forcibly redirecting the flow of energy at the last moment. It felt terribly wrong—partly because the spell itself snapped back violently, but also because I knew this was an incredibly silly way of doing it. It was like rereading parts of a book to find where you’d left off, instead of simply using a bookmark.

Still, this trick got me where I meant to be, and if I wanted to figure out how to do it right, I had to train. One downside was that it took an incredible amount of effort, and as a result I would avoid doing it more than twice a day, out of fear of burning out. The other downside was that the sheer amount of force needed to cast it this way left my horn sore and my head aching.

Once more, I experienced the feeling of a magical rubber band snapping back and painfully hitting my horn, and I materialised a good three metres in front of the group. I stopped for a few moments to rub my temples while they reached me. “Uh, hey,” I said, slightly awkwardly. My goal was to eventually lead the conversation to a point where I could just casually apologise. “So how did you three end up travelling together? I assume you’re not siblings.” They didn’t look anything alike, after all, though that didn’t completely exclude the possibility.

Unsurprisingly, it was Banter who answered my question first. “My parents were travelling merchants; did some scavenging as well, but never to a big extent. Their life came to an abrupt end when we got attacked by bandits. The bandits didn’t wanna kill a foal, so they just took everything and left me to myself. Eventually, I met Petal, Blue, and then Lockpick, and we were like a family.”

“Blue?”

“He… was an earth pony colt. Didn’t even have a cutie mark yet. Really curious about everything, but the raiders got him.” His voice sounded calm and collected, but the look on his face betrayed his sadness.

My mind scoured the memories of the gore in Foal Mountain’s train station, and I could swear I remembered a small blue corpse. Was I remembering correctly or was I just imagining things? “I’m… sorry to hear that,” I replied, hoping to sound as tactful as I could.

“It’s a tragedy like many in the wastes.” This time, a timbre of melancholy reached his voice, despite his best efforts. He cleared his throat. “Petal, you should tell your story.”

“Dad owned an unusually sunny plot of land. Cherry tree grew there. Raiders happened. That good enough?” As unsatisfactory as this reply was, I couldn’t help but feel a tad of respect for her. I was usually the quiet one, after all.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” I was starting to sound like a broken record. I had a hard time feeling much empathy for her, given her tone, but I did not envy her, either.

Banter leaned towards me and whispered, “You’ll have to pardon her, she was hit the hardest by the loss of Blue. Hasn’t been very talkative since.” That did make sense. Then, he told Lockpick, “Do you wanna tell her about your past?” The blue filly just stayed quiet as we all marched forward. I understood; why would she want to talk to the pony who’d made her cry less than two days ago. “I see. Maybe you should tell us a bit about yourself, Iron. All we know is that you’re from a stable.”

“Why do you think I have an interesting story? I’m a stable filly, shouldn’t that normally make me boring?” I wasn’t dodging the question, but I did want to buy some time to think. Besides, I was curious what he would say to that.

“You are way too mature for your age. It’s a sign you’ve gone through shit that made you grow up faster than you should have. Usually an indicator of trauma.” Wait, really? I’d never heard of that. Then again, I hadn’t read any psychology books, and my novels had never approached such subjects either. My mother was likely to blame, come to think of it. Wouldn’t want me to realise I was in a bad situation, now would she? She’d played me like a fiddle. Made me into what she needed.

I didn’t like talking about it, but it only made sense to reply to his question. Besides, why would I ask something I wouldn’t want to answer myself? “I… was beaten and raped by my father. Then things happened, and he ended up telling me to leave the stable with him. As naïve as I was back then, I thought I had no choice but to do as he said. I only realised he didn’t have power over me when I held a gun to his head and ended him. Also happens to be how I got my cutie mark.” I didn’t want to mention my mother, since my relationship with her had been much more complicated, and I didn’t want them to believe I was any more of a nutcase than they already thought.

Everypony was staring at me in shock. Even Petal had dropped her usual stoic and annoyed façade for a concerned expression. I understood that my childhood was far from usual, but I hadn’t expected such a reaction. Banter had told something roughly as bad in a similar tone of voice, and it hadn’t been a problem.

Surprisingly, it was Petal who broke the silence. “Shit, I’m sorry. If I’d known, I woulda been kinder to you.”

What? No! “I wouldn’t want you to treat me differently based on this. Treat me based on who I am, please.” I didn’t need her pity. Part of me insisted I should learn to use this to get on other ponies’ good side. It’s what my mother would have wanted me to do.

“Yes, but I thought you were a spoiled stable brat who’d never known hardship in life. I was rude to you because of a stupid assumption.” I didn’t mind, really. She hadn’t acted worse than my mother on most days.

After that, the conversation died down, with no one having anything to say, and I didn’t muster the courage to awkwardly apologise to Lockpick. I returned to Candy with the intent of just watching the road and maybe chatting her up if a topic happened to come up. I needed a new plan to say sorry. I couldn’t have imagined it would be this hard to bring myself to do this.

Before I could ask her for advice, I was surprised by Lockpick walking up to us and asking to speak with me. We distanced ourselves from the group, moving further ahead. I kept my eyes on our path, on the lookout for ghouls.

Now that we were alone, and apologising was no longer as awkward, I finally realised the reason I was so afraid of it. It wasn’t awkward, I just had to swallow my pride, and that was much easier said than done. I had no excuses now, though. Then why couldn’t I bring myself to just say sorry?

She interrupted my thinking. “I wanted to say I’m sorry for my fuck-up yesterday. I lost my nerve and almost got us killed.” Wait, why was she the one apologising? I know I’d thought she needed to apologise, but that was in my angry state. Now that I was calm, I realised it was irrational to be angry at—why was I thinking this? I ought to be saying it instead!

I looked her in the eyes. “Why are you apologising? I’m the one at fault here. I blew things way out of proportion. It isn’t like you chose to react that way. You were in just as much danger as me. I know very well what it’s like to be frozen in fear, unable to do anything, and yet I got mad at you. I’m sorry, Lockpick.” Textbook apology. I mentally patted myself on the back.

While some of my own anger had been justified, bringing up that fact would have deflected the blame and detracted from my apology. It’s what I would have done if I wasn’t trying to be genuine about this. It turned out that knowing how to fauxpologise—in other words, how to apologise like a politician—helped you genuinely admit guilt. Who would have thought.

“Apology accepted, though I still think your reaction wasn’t completely unfounded either.”

A few minutes went by in silence as we continued. Neither of us really knew where to continue with the conversation. We’d made peace, but we still weren’t friends. We barely knew each other. I knew she liked locks and…? Come to think of it, I didn’t have too many interests either. I liked guns and reading, though lately I hadn’t had time to do much of the latter.

“So, is there anything you like doing?” I asked, hoping the question wasn’t as silly as it felt.

She thought about it for a few seconds. “I like listening to music, if that counts.”

“Oh, then how come you’re not listening to the radio?” I’d seen one amongst their possessions in their cart.

“The stuff Airwaves plays isn’t much to my taste, truth be told. I prefer what DJ Pon3 plays on his station, though for some reason his broadcast isn’t available in Detrot. I really like Sweetie Belle’s songs.”

“Oh, we had some of her music in the stable. Wasn’t my favourite, but I could appreciate it nonetheless.”

“I just love the way she sounds. I wish I could sing like that.” She beamed.

“Do you practise?”

“What do you mean?” asked Lockpick

“Do you practise singing? You’ll never get good if you don’t practise.” Maybe I wasn’t in a good spot to give this advice, considering that I’d given up on music after a few weeks. Then again, unlike her, I didn't have any sort of interest in music past attempting to get my cutie mark.

“Well… no, I don’t. I don’t really have the time.”

“What about all this time you spend walking? I’ve known you for less than a week, and I’ve seen you looked bored the entire time we were en route.”

“I can’t. I’m too embarrassed to sing in front of Petal or Banter.” Splitting from the group alone wasn’t an option, either. I wanted to offer her to split from the group with me. I knew I wasn’t gaining anything through this, but somehow, I wanted to help this filly. I didn’t understand my feelings. It was the same thing as back in the hospital. It wasn’t the logical choice, but it was the one I wanted to make. Why were my feelings pushing me to try and be kind to her? I barely knew her!

It wouldn’t benefit me, though would it hurt me? At worst it would cost me a bit of time, and I was bored anyway. I could always retract my offer later if it became inconvenient for me. But at the same time, she was embarrassed to sing in front of her long-time friends, surely she wouldn’t dare do it in front of a nigh-stranger.

A few moments of silence dragged on.

“You know, we could always move away from the group. I can keep you safe, and you can practise in peace.”

“I’d still be embarrassed! And I don’t have recordings or anything to base my singing off of. I don’t know the songs by heart, so I would have to sing along.”

“I could record them when they come on the radio and play them back for you.”

“But I’d still be embarrassed!” she repeated, and fell into silence again.

“I understand,” I replied, giving her a smile that I hoped was as reassuring as Candy’s.

Half a minute later, she said, blushing, “Alright, if you can get a good recording and you promise not to make fun of me.” I couldn’t promise not to mentally mock her, but I could vow not to vocalise it.

“Alright, I promise.”

A few days later, we were getting ready to leave Scrapyard, packing our purchases. The town was built, well, in a scrapyard. The buildings here were all made out of pre-megaspell vehicles; broken skywagons, decommissioned train carts, or regular caravans. A notable exception was the giant welded roof over the area that acted as a marketplace.

Banter had managed to sell and trade off some of the supplies we’d scavenged from the hospital. True to his word, he split the profits with us, and we shared the rest of the loot as well. Now that we finally had some savings, we bought Candy a helmet.

A proper set of barding for somepony my size would have needed to be custom-tailored, and we just didn't have that kind of budget. And I'd grow out of it regardless.

We were tempted to get ourselves better firearms as well, but I didn’t have the need for a larger calibre rifle. Did I want one? Oh yes. Very much so. However, my saddlebags, my shotgun, and Patricide—the name I’d given to my 10mm pistol—were already heavy enough that adding another weapon to my collection would be impractical, especially one that needed such expensive ammunition. It broke my heart, but it was the rational choice.

However, I was pleasantly surprised to find that my rifle was apparently a rather common model, and that this place carried many additions for it. I opted for an extended magazine as well as a suppressor. I could have bought a scope as well, but the disadvantages outweighed the benefits. At the ranges for which a scope would have been beneficial, the .22LR rounds were starting to show their weakness. On top of that, the added weight was a big detractor for me. Coupled with the price of the one long-range scope the vendor had—a measly seven-power at that—I had virtually no reason to get one. Still wanted one though.

Naturally, I also bought larger clips to reload my rifle, though I would likely always keep my five-round magazine loaded just in case.

Patricide also got an extended magazine, though I didn’t bother with a suppressor; it would have made the pistol nearly a third longer.

We ended up stocking up on ammunition. .22LR rounds were light, small, and cheap, so I always tried to keep around fifty on me. Candy carried another hundred as a reserve. We also bought many 20ga shells and slugs. Candy’s shotgun was her primary weapon, and thus it was reasonable to stock up on those as well.

After the nigh-calamity at the hospital, we also decided to get me some proper crowd control shells. Explosive shells, to be exact. For safety reasons, I kept them unloaded unless they were actually needed, but they would likely help tremendously, should I find myself cornered again—provided I load the shells a priori. Fun—but wrong!—thoughts of using those on a pony’s head crossed my mind more than once.

Banter’s group and us decided to split up for the time being; they didn’t have a reason to keep us around as guards, though we could have joined them in scavenging. Given that we’d grown to like them, we’d almost accepted the offer. However, they planned to search through the north-western industrial zone, while I really wanted to visit Arcane Spark’s home in the residential area.

We would try to meet up again here in Scrapyard, two days from now, and decide what to do from there.

Next, we would pay somepony to keep an eye on our wagon while we explored the city. Apparently it was a common enough demand that one of the ponies living here offered this service. In the past twenty years, scavengers had started coming to the region to attempt to get rich, but pulling a cart around the city’s rubble was far from convenient—we were inclined to agree.

Of course, we’d thought long and hard if trusting those ponies was worth it. Banter had deposited his cart here already, so he obviously did have confidence they wouldn’t rob him. However, Candy and I barely trusted him, so faith by proxy was out of the question.

What ended up convincing us was that they had no reason to steal from us, given their fairly steep daily price. If we found they stole anything, we simply wouldn’t pay them. At least in theory. I groaned internally. It was really hard to trust anypony after what Silver had done to us. My gut feeling was telling me I could trust the ponies here, but I knew better than to trust a gut feeling. I just hoped we weren’t making a mistake.

The pony responsible had apparently momentarily gone away, leaving a sign that announced her intent to return within five minutes.

While we were waiting, I noticed a zebra I’d spotted earlier approach us. I hadn’t known how to react to her, so I’d simply opted to ignore her. Stars, why was she approaching us? Was she going to curse us? Did zebras even do that? I knew the pre-stable textbooks had heavy bias against zebras, and the few texts that had been written inside Stable 4 all called out the bias, but didn’t seem to know what exactly the bias was.

The mare was staring at us intently with her wide open, bloodshot eyes, slowly approaching. I tried looking away, pretending she didn’t exist. Hopefully she’d leave us alone. When she spoke up in her exotic accent, however, those hopes were promptly crushed.

“Young mares, fresh out of fool’s paradise, I hope you do not mind some advice. I see your light mostly undimmed, for as long as you follow your own wind. However, should the tempest you oppose, then you shall find a death most morose.” Was that a curse? What did that mean? How did she know about the stable? No, that much was pretty obvious, we’d already established. But still, what was she talking about?

“Shoo! Don’tcha bother mah customers, ya loony! Scram!” yelled a mare. The zebra immediately turned around, attempting to bolt, only to trip and fall on her rump, before scrambling up and galloping away. Well, okay then… The owner turned to us. “Anyway, sorry ‘bout that. She’s our local druggie,” she fake-whispered. “Never try Mint-als, y’all.” I gulped. “Given yer wagon, I take it y’all’re here for me?”

When we first entered the city, I felt watched. I'd felt this way near the clinic as well. It was the same feeling as when somepony was behind me, except that nopony was there.

Occasionally, a red bar would appear for a split second, but that was nothing out of the ordinary, and certainly nothing consistent. My mental health was really going down the drain, wasn’t it? I would have thought it would improve after escaping the horrible hole that was Stable 4. I resorted to ignoring the feeling. Hopefully, it would go away.

After an hour of walking around Detrot’s residential area—carefully avoiding ghouls since we had no idea how likely we were to get swarmed—we finally found ourselves on the street I recognised. At the very far side, however, buildings were missing; they’d likely been the primary target of the zebra megaspell.

It took me another twenty minutes to find the exact spot where Arcane Spark had materialised. The challenge would be to figure out which building she’d lived in. I trusted the simplest solution and decided to check the closest building.

“I still don’t know why you care this much about this dead mare,” Candy said to me as we walked towards the entrance. I’d told her about the memory orb already, but I understood her hesitance.

“Curiosity, plain and simple,” I replied. “And we might find some valuables there, so it’s not a complete waste of time.”

“I see.” I thanked the stars for this mare's kindness. My mother would have told me to act my age and ignored my request.

I noticed that the mailboxes to the right of the entrance had occupant names on them. I wondered how mail delivery services had worked in a city. Their system was probably fairly well optimised and—I cut off that thought to pay closer attention to the names printed on each box.

I scanned row after row, until I arrived at the top row, where I started losing hope. However, those fears were promptly extinguished as my eyes locked onto the text. “Arcane Spark & Zephyr Aurora”. Zephyr's name was crossed out. Underneath it, a sticker read “No Advertising”.

Unfortunately, that didn’t tell me which storey or flat she'd lived in. Given the length of the teleport I’d etched into my brain, it likely wasn’t ground, first, or even second floor.

As we started climbing the stairs, we found that, thankfully, there were only four apartments per floor—each of them fairly sizable, but not gigantic.

The first few floors’ entrance doors had been broken open, so I was starting to lose hope we’d actually find anything valuable in Arcane’s home. However, as we reached higher floors, some doors remained closed, while others were open but not broken. Had whoever been here before us simply decided this place wasn’t worth looting?

Luckily for us, doorbells were also labelled with the names of the ponies who’d lived there. Unluckily for us, when we finally found the entrance to Arcane’s flat, it was locked. Candy, however, surprised me by levitating out a bobby pin and a screwdriver. She inserted the former into the lock and applied torque with the latter.

I watched as she moved the pin back and forth. I could tell by her hesitant movements that she barely had an idea of what she was doing. “You can pick locks?” I asked. She clearly wasn’t very good at it, but she seemed to know the basics.

“Eh, sorta?” she replied without looking away from the lock. “I mostly just know the theory, and when I saw LP doing it last week, she made it look easy.” As if on cue, the bobby pin broke, and she let out a groan.

“Can I try? If you tell me how.”

She gave me her tools. “The idea is to ‘trick’ the lock into being open by pressing down the pins exactly like a key would.”

That… was incredibly vague. “Any other tips?”

“Apply torque and brush on the pins, they’ll get stuck in place.” Not a very good tip either.

I had a hard time grasping what she was telling me. Nevertheless, I wedged my screwdriver into the lock, forcing it to turn very slightly. I moved the bobby pin back and forth, like she’d implied with the word ‘brush’, and found that one of the lock’s pins clicked down. Encouraged, I kept going… to no avail.

After that first one, none of them wanted to move. Eventually, after a few minutes of heated struggle with the lock, I loosened my grip on the screwdriver, causing the pin to spring back up. I noticed I was gritting my teeth and consciously unclenched my jaws.

Again I brushed across the inside of the lock, and the same pin got stuck in its down position. I struggled a bit more, then, somehow, another pin got stuck. Once more I was filled with motivation.

After a few minutes, said motivation all but evaporated, leaving behind frustration. Why was this not working? Maybe I needed to try again. I let go of the lock and dropped the screwdriver. It was getting in the way of my bobby pin, and my magic was good enough to apply torque on its own. Come to think of it, even the bobby pin was superfluous.

I attempted to pick the lock with only my telekinesis, but quickly noticed that this required more concentration than I had the ability for right now. Maybe with a Mint-al… but those were off the table forever.

I picked up the bobby pin again and went to work. This time, I got stuck on the first pin again. Anger was starting to pour into my mind. Maybe if I pushed hard enough…

Or maybe…

No, no, no, no! This wasn’t working

I groaned. This wasn’t worth my time. I walked back from the door, loaded an explosive shell into my shotgun, and blasted the door open with a shot at the lock. Wooden shrapnel flew my way, painfully impacting my face while my ears began to ring. Candy, further down the hallway, screamed in surprise. “Fuck! At least warn me!” Hadn’t she seen me load the shell?

“Sorry. I’ll admit this was not my brightest moment.” Understatement of the century. “Thought it would be alright, since there are no ghouls around.” Come to think of it, the lack of skeletons or ghouls in this place was disturbing. Could it be that they all tried running away? That would have just killed them faster… not that they would have had any chances of surviving the radiation this close to the blast.

I pushed open the door and stepped inside, Candy in tow. The inside was the familiar room with grey concrete walls, except the paint had peeled off in most places, leaving behind… more grey, just of a different shade and texture. The windows had long shattered, and the carpets and textiles covering furniture had rotted away.

As a light gust blew in through the destroyed window, I felt a droplet of blood flow down my cheek. Raising my hoof to touch my face, I noticed a large splinter embedded in it. How had I not noticed the pain until now? It hurt. I turned to Candy, and she was as shocked as me when she saw it.

She rushed over to me, telling me in her soothing voice, “Sit down, I’ll take care of it.” I did as I was told. “Okay, I’m gonna need to pull it out. It’s pretty deep in there, you’re lucky it didn’t hit your eye. I’m gonna yank it out on three.” I closed my left eye. I didn’t want to see it come out. “One… Two…” She pulled it out. My vision filled with tears, and I led my thoughts to stars for comfort.

Candy pulled out a bottle of antiseptic and a piece of cloth, wiping the wound with the soaked tissue. The liquid stung, but not as badly as the original pull. With a pair of tweezers, she pulled out a few more pieces of wood that had broken off the big splinter. It hurt, but I stayed strong.

After another disinfection, she poured a bit of healing potion onto the wound, holding it closed with her hoof. The pain slowly diminished, until it became no more than a slight sore. Candy rubbed the closed wound, asking, “Does this hurt?” I shook my head. “Perfect. Now, I would lecture you about blowing up a wooden door, but you’ve already learned the lesson, haven’t you?” I had, and I was grateful she wasn’t berating me about it. I felt stupid enough already, and didn't need to get yelled at. I nodded. My ears were still ringing, rubbing more salt onto my wounded ego. How had it not crossed my mind that this would happen? Was a little frustration really enough to cloud my judgement?

After I swallowed my pride, we started searching the apartment. My gaze immediately wandered to the bookshelf in the back of the room, and I trotted over to it. The contents were very similar to the one in her hut on Foal Mountain. There were many normal novels, some textbooks, and many comic book magazines. “Hey, Candy?” I called.

“Yeah?” she answered from the kitchen.

“Would you mind carrying a few books? I can take a few, too.”

“Sure!”

That opened up my possibilities quite a bit. Still, I wouldn’t want to overload either of us with books. Out of the scholarly books, many interested me at a first glance. While the many mathematical textbooks didn’t look like anything on my level, my curiosity still wanted me to read them. I put them aside—it wouldn’t hurt taking them with us if there wasn’t anything else of value. Mathematics were fascinating, after all. I just didn’t know much past early calculus. Thankfully, I’d already finished my maths curriculum by the time I’d left the stable—just like with magic, concepts were easy for me to grasp. Unlike magic, however, it was actually interesting.

As I levitated the last two books over, I noticed the side of the pages was covered with mould. I opened the book and was immediately overwhelmed by the smell of mildew and found that the inside had completely been eaten away. Almost dropping it out of sheer disgust, I closed it and set it on the floor far away from myself. Gross.

A horrifying thought crossed my mind: what if every book here was unreadable? I decided to skim through the maths books. To my utter dismay, most were indecipherable. Out of four, only one seemed to be relatively legible still. And of course, its contents were so advanced that I doubted I had any of the prerequisite knowledge.

I inspected each individual book in her library, only finding four—five if I counted the textbook on advanced discrete mathematics—that were still mostly readable. Groaning in frustration, I lamented the loss of knowledge, but was happy that some at least had survived. In particular, a single book on memory magic and its applications piqued my interest. It wasn’t the one I would have picked, but I did like the topic; it could prove itself useful.

I ignored the comic book magazines; given that most looked ready to fall apart, I doubted they were in any better shape than the books. Instead, I looked at the novels she owned. Not too many titles seemed particularly interesting, but I did end up picking up five of them that were in a still-readable state of decay. Hopefully they’d be more interesting than their covers.

I placed the seven books I’d decided on on the coffee table. Just that made me crave the bitter liquid. Wait. I thought I didn’t like coffee? But the thought back to it made me realise that maybe I did. Was this what an acquired taste was all about? Could it be the same with whiskey? No. No way in Tartarus could that actually taste good to anypony. Ponies only consumed that to get drunk.

Next, I headed towards the bedroom while Candy continued to rummage around in the kitchen. The walls here were covered in paintings and posters. The paintings were cracked, but all represented nature in some way or another. The posters, on the other hoof, were all faded or rotten. A lone terminal stood on her desk, in the corner of the room.

A variety of old plastic bottles of lotions stood on her bedside table, as well as a framed portrait of a mare that I immediately recognised: Zephyr Aurora. A black ribbon was draped over the frame.

Next to it, I spotted another one of those memory talismans. The impatient part of my brain screamed at me to take a look at it, but the rest of my mind knew it would have been superbly idiotic to lock myself in a memory while Candy scavenged the flat. No, I’d look at it tonight. Just like the orb from the chalet, it wore a label, “best night ever pt1”. I wondered where part two was.

Next, I opened the bedside table’s drawer, to find… part two, as well as medicine. I recognised some as headache medicine, but most of the pills were foreign to me. Deciding I would tell Candy to look through them later, I pocketed the “best night ever pt2” orb.

I searched through her desk, only to find a diary—completely illegible. I groaned. I couldn’t help but notice how many empty plastic bottles were strewn about the room. Had she not understood the concept of garbage cans? In any case, her room mostly seemed to be paperwork and trash. How sad.

Finally, I decided to take a look at the terminal. To my surprise, it turned on. However, the first message that came up was simply “Please enter password to decrypt storage.”

I tried “Zephyr Aurora”, but it was declined. “4 attempts remaining.” Ponyfeathers. Knowing old technology, it would wipe the entire drive once those four attempts were spent. Connecting my PipBuck to the terminal, I tried to initiate the transfer from there, only for “Handshake rejected” to flash on my screen. I groaned again, and went back to help out Candy.

Eventually, Candy and I had found everything worth our time—she’d managed to scrounge up a lot of preserved food—and left the small apartment. I told her about the two memory talismans that I’d watch later on.

“You still wanna check out that old office building?” she asked me. We’d talked about the possibility of scavenging in a place with actual loot. Individual apartments and houses were usually fairly safe, except for the odd ghoul out. Public buildings, on the other hoof, were a gold mine.

“Of course.”

As we approached the Stable-Tec building, I noticed some red bars inside. The building itself was badly damaged, like everything around it. Not even a hundred metres further, however, things were in much worse shape; we were near the crater. Occasionally, my PipBuck would give a quiet click. Any closer and it would likely be ticking the entire time.

Through the broken windows, I could see a few pony-shaped robots inside, walking around. Huh, I’d never fought a robot before. I briefly wondered about how fun they’d be to destroy.

Before we entered, I started taking shots at the robots—they were clearly going to attack us on sight, so we were better off striking first. SATS informed that they were apparently called ‘protectaponies’. Sparks flew around with each shot that landed. As fun as that was to watch, it wasn’t very exhilarating and quickly became boring.

After the three robots were dealt with, we stepped into the reception. Most furniture in the large lobby had either been broken or had decayed over time, with the notable exception of the receptionist’s desk. The room looked nothing like in the memory. The continuing presence of red bars worried me, but I figured they would all be as easy to dispose of as the robots we’d already scrapped.

Oh, maybe I could still find some usable parts on the robots. I doubted I would find anything useful for fixing guns, but it wasn’t like my knowledge of mechanical systems couldn’t be extrapolated to machines in general.

I managed to extract a few servo motors, as well as many gemspark batteries. They weren’t as heavy as spark batteries, but they also held a small fraction of the magical power. Meanwhile, Candy looked through the rest of the room. When she stepped in front of a door, it suddenly burst open, revealing a large robot. Unlike the previous three, it wasn’t pony-like at all.

It was bipedal, but instead of legs it had tracks. Because of that, its movements were much smoother than the protectaponies. Its left arm consisted of a large calibre barrel, presumably .308, while the right one had a much wider one. What kind of bullet was that made for? That had to be at least 40 millimetres! Unless it shot some kind of explosives. I prayed to the stars that it didn’t shoot explosives.

Candy dove behind cover—a pile of rubble. I took a shot at the machine, but was sorely disappointed as my bullet simply plinked off its metal plating. Stars curse my luck. I hid behind the receptionist’s desk. We had to flee.

“I’ll keep it busy! You run away!” Candy shouted, and her bar began moving as the robot started shooting. Could she really get away from this thing? She’d need to run through a very large, open area. For that matter, could I get out of here without leaving cover? I’d have to teleport an awfully long distance, and I wasn’t sure my horn had it in it.

Occasionally, I heard her shotgun roar. I hoped she’d loaded slugs, else she wouldn’t even put a dent in it. Forced to run circles, she soon lapped back behind me, and bullets whizzed past me. A sharp pain shot through my shoulder, and blood squirted out. Fuck! I bit my lip to avoid actually saying it.

I blinked the tears out of my eyes, and began loading my shotgun with explosive shells. I was done running. Candy had done so much for me, risked her life time and time again, and I had a bad feeling about leaving her behind.

The robot was still shooting at Candy while she was running around it, blasting it with a slug every time she could. How was she moving faster than it could turn? This mare never ceased to impress me. Maybe she could have gotten away from it, but it was too late to change my mind.

I took aim and hit it square in the side of its torso. It stopped following Candy and instead started turning towards me. Oh ponyfeathers. I ran, ignoring the searing agony in my shoulder. I didn’t know how long I could keep it up, but if I stayed in place, I would end up a sieve. I still wasn’t a fast runner, but fear for my life acted like a wonderful stimulant.

My heart was pounding and my lungs burned. I was about to slow down. I was about to die. No, I still had my teleportation trump card up my sleeve. I didn’t want to risk it, but it seemed like I wouldn’t have a choice. I mentally ran through the maze, then forcefully redirected the energy. There had to be a better way to cast this spell!

I rematerialised behind a pillar, panting heavily, horn throbbing painfully. At first, I didn’t dare peek out from behind the pillar, but as I heard its machine gun rev up again, I knew it was going after Candy once more. I took a look and noticed Candy was zig-zagging straight towards my position. Good, if we both found cover, we might be able to find a way out. Burnout be damned, I would teleport us out! Things would work out! I still needed a bit more time to catch my breath, though.

I stared at its right arm as it fired. For the few fractions of a second, the projectile flew through the air, I was able to notice it was not a bullet. It impacted the ground behind Candy, several metres in front of me, and the explosion thundered throughout the atrium. Dazed for a short instant, I didn’t see when she had been thrown forward by the explosion, only realising what happened when she crashed against the wall next to me with a cracking sound that tied my gut into a knot.

A leg was not supposed to bend like that.

She was not getting up.

I needed to act now, or we would both die here.

A risky plan formed in my mind, and I started channelling power through my horn once again, bracing for the whiplash.

I released the spell and accidentally closed my left eye as pain shot through my head. I reappeared behind the robot, closer than I’d meant to be. After raising my left leg to shield my face, I entered SATS.

When time crawled to a stop, I realised I had not actually clicked the button. It had to be the same link that allowed me to interact with the user interface. Knowing this earlier would have been useful; I could have avoided so many injuries, like when that ghoul had hit me! Damn it, Iron, what was I doing theorycrafting? SATS or not, I had no time to waste!

I queued three shots at the robot—as much as the spell allowed me with the pump-action shotgun. I took a few SATS-seconds to brace myself for the impact. I was very close to the sentry bot—the name SATS had given it—and I was about to fire at it at point blank range. This would not be pleasant, but I knew very well I wouldn’t survive an attempt to get some distance between us.

I let go of the spell and felt my aura pull the trigger. My world became heat, pain, noise, and more pain. Sharp twangs of agony echoed throughout my body as shrapnel pierced my skin. I could feel the metal embed itself into my chest, left foreleg, and right shoulder. My leg and lower face burned, as my magic, guided by the spell, pumped the shotgun. I was not ready for another shot, and wanted nothing more than to stop the spell and let myself die.

Yet I stayed strong. More heat and pain, but this time, all I could hear was ringing.

The third shell left my gun, and the world resumed. Because the universe really wanted to punish me for my stupidity, the last two shells exploded within the magazine. If any of that shrapnel had hit me, I certainly hadn’t felt it.

My EFS informed me that the threat had been defeated. In fact, the entire interface was free of red bars, now. How? The burning in my left leg was also gone, probably overshadowed by the shrapnel wounds and headache.

I walked three steps towards Candy, then lost consciousness.

I awoke in a dark room to Candy bandaging my leg. I noticed the familiar lack of feeling that came with her anaesthetic spell and was oh-so grateful for it. At least four bottles of healing potion and a single Med-X vial lay strewn about in the closet.

Her right front leg was resting in a cloth attached to her neck. “Is your leg broken?” I attempted to ask, but couldn’t hear myself over the ringing in my ears. I felt my vocal cords vibrate, but no sound came.

Still, she turned to me. Her mouth was moving but no sound was coming out, at least none that could overpower the ringing. Oh. Of course I was still deafened by the blast.

“I can’t hear you, Candy. I think my ears are messed up.” I tried speaking a bit louder and still could barely hear myself. Her lips puckered as if she was trying to shush me. An idea came to me.

I levitated my PipBuck hoof to have the device face me, then opened the text editor on a new file. “Type on this,” I said, attempting to stay quiet.

She furrowed her eyebrows, mouthed “Later”, and finished bandaging my leg. When she was done, she turned her attention to my PipBuck and started to type using the tiny keyboard. Unlike a terminal keyboard, this one only consisted of a five-by-four grid, and one had to press each key multiple times to cycle through the multiple letters assigned to each button. I wondered how earth ponies could press the tiny keys, and was once again glad to be a unicorn.

While my mind wandered around irrelevant topics, Candy finished typing her message. “Removed most shrapnel. Not all. Healed your face burns. We need to wait until numbing spell wears off. Also, dont be loud.” I’d figured out the last part on my own.

“What about your leg?” I asked, at the lowest volume I could.

“Broken,” she clicked.

“Isn’t there anything you can do? This… looks painful.”

She started typing again. I could tell she was getting the hang of this, slowly but surely. “Wud need to set it. Cant do that with my hooves, magic too weak.”

“Do you think I could do it with my magic?” I offered, then added, “With your guidance, of course.”

Keyboard clicking. “Wud be hard if u cant hear me.”

“I don’t need to hear you, I can just help you add power. You can make the motions, pull and push where it’s needed, and I’ll provide the strength.”

“U think u can follow my movements precisely?”

“Yeah.” It wasn’t particularly difficult. I’d been asked several times to help funnel power into a spell that I didn’t fully or even partially understand.

“Fine then. I trust you.”

She undid the loop and wrapped her aura around her leg, not letting it droop. I focused on the currents of magic flowing into the telekinesis, strengthening the spell. It was easy to push along a river, as long as it didn’t make any sharp turns. Candy’s eyes widened, and her expression changed to… admiration?

She bit her lip, anticipating pain, and swiftly set the bone. I didn’t exactly understand what was going on, but I could grasp the general idea. Tearing up, she finished the healing potion next to her, then proceeded to bandage the leg. She broke a broom with a swift buck, then wrapped the bandage tightly around her leg, using the pieces of wood to immobilise her limb.

In the end, her leg was back in the cloth loop hanging from her neck. However, it was no longer painfully contorted.

When the anaesthetic spell gradually wore off, I started regretting every single action that had led me to here and now. My leg’s burns pulsated painfully underneath the magical bandages, and the shrapnel that Candy hadn’t removed grated agonisingly against my muscles and bones, trapped beneath the flesh that had regrown through the potion’s influence.

As I tried standing up, I felt extremely disoriented. The world spun, and I fell back down on my rump. I was fairly certain I let out a yelp at the strain. I officially hated robots. Not fun to kill, very deadly, and hard to destroy.

Candy motioned to my PipBuck. I lifted it and let her type. “We shud get going. You need medx?” I nodded at her, and she dug through her saddlebags, then inserted the needle into my right foreleg. A thought hit me. Wasn’t Med-X also a drug? Didn’t I risk getting addicted if I kept having to use it? Hopefully I would remember to ask Candy about it when I got my hearing back.

As the pain melted away to a more manageable level, I slowly stood up, trying to get used to the unexpected motion sickness. Then, as she put the empty syringe back into her saddlebags, I spotted something shocking. She had a tin of Mint-als.

I wanted to ask her about it, but I feared that opening my mouth would lead me to lose my lunch. How could she do this? Why would she do this? Was she planning to sell it? If so, that would explain why she hid it from me. Still, it… hurt that she would keep a secret from me. Maybe I shouldn’t keep secrets from her either?

That didn’t matter right now, however. We needed to get to a safe place to let ourselves rest, as this building was still crawling with red bars; some of those would likely be exactly like the sentry bot that had put us in this predicament. I suggested Arcane’s apartment complex, since we knew it was ghoul-free.

On the way there, I lost my lunch, and after that it took a lot of effort to avoid retching some more. Again, I felt observed, but I ignored the hallucination. We needed to get to safety as soon as possible, and I couldn’t waste any time thinking about my sanity.

Footnote:

New Perk: Teleportation I — You’ve learned to move your body and everything you’re carrying instantaneously from one spot to another. In theory, you can also teleport small objects away from you, but anything larger than a soda bottle must travel alongside you. Your range is limited to your INT score in metres. Additionally, due to your inefficient way of executing it, this spell can only be cast up to your END score times a day.

New “Perk”: Hearing Loss — Your inner ear was permanently damaged. As a result, you effectively lose 5 points off your PER score in scenarios involving listening. Your overall PER score is unaffected, as your other senses sharpen to compensate. Your sense of balance is also affected; you chronically experience extreme disorientation.

New “Perk”: Brain Damage — After such a spectacular series of bad decisions, the universe itself must have decided you were not making good use of your intelligence. Or maybe you just hit your head too hard, too many times. Either way, you lose one point of INT.

Chapter 8 — Playing Heroes

Chapter 8: Playing Heroes

Arcane sat at a small table in a crowded and dimly lit restaurant. The waitress had just brought them wine and had left to talk to another pair of ponies. A band of three ponies played classical music; one of Wagoner's pieces, if I remembered correctly.

The first time I’d seen this place, I’d assumed it was an atrium. Then, I remembered pre-war ponies had establishments where they would dine. Well, on special occasions only, since it was fairly expensive to do so on a regular basis.

A single candelabra with three lit candles stood in the middle of their table. Zephyr spoke up, “You know, you didn’t have to take me to such a fancyplace. Really, a chill evening with you woulda been fine.”

“I know, I know,” my host replied. “It’s just that this place has good food. Besides, it wouldn’t have sat right with me if I took you out for hayburgers.”

“You kidding me? Hayburgers are delicious!”

Arcane fought hard to hold back a laugh, instead managing to just slightly giggle. “Alright, I’ll keep that in mind, then.”

“To be honest, as nice as this place is, it’s a bit too high class for my taste, anyway. I’m a simple mare with simple desires.”

“I’m mostly the same, though I guess I do care about first impressions, so I wouldn’t ask someone out on a date somewhere that might be below them.” They both chuckled, but then fell into a silence that quickly grew awkward.

“You mind if I bring up a work-related subject?” Zephyr asked after maybe a minute. “It’s not that I wanna talk about it, it’s just that we might as well go for a topic we both have stuff to say about.”

“I mean, if you’re fine with it, I’m fine with it. I never really got the whole don’t-talk-about-work-outside-of-work thing.” Arcane swirled her wine with her magic. “It’s not like the shit we can say becomes any less interesting just because we ain’t at work.”

“Well, you got a point there. I never really understood it either, truth be told. Anyway, did you hear of the plans for Stable 4?”

“You mean that it’s gonna be on Foal Mountain? Honestly, I don’t really get why they would make it so far removed from everything.” She moved the glass to her lips. The first time I’d experienced this memory, I’d been disgusted by the taste. Now, I’d grown used to it, and even partly enjoyed it. Candy had denied my request to find a bottle for ourselves. She was probably right to do so; even if we did find one, selling it would be a much better idea than consuming it.

“Well, I think it’s pretty obvious that Mr. Pegas kinda just wanted a private bunker, with all of Stable-Tec’s technology. The higher-ups didn’t have any of that, though.” She leaned in, and my host did the same. “I overheard Sweetie Belle and the other two talking about this,” she whispered. “Apparently they reached some kind of weird compromise with him. He gets to choose how the stable is run, but Stable-Tec gets to choose the ponies who get a spot in it.”

“I mean, he would technically be entitled to a private stable, given that he’s their biggest investor and all. Oh, and he donated a fucking mountain.”

“Yeah, well, I guess even he would feel bad about it. They probably gave him the whole ‘we save ponies’ spiel and all. Since the stable is so far away from everything, it will open for habitation whenever it’s finished. It’s an interesting approach, and I wonder if they’ll do it for any other stable, rather than go with emergency evacuations.” Aurora shrugged. “Then again, I doubt too many ponies will want to leave their lives behind for a couple of square metres deep in the mountain.”

She leaned back to take a sip of wine. “I’m a bit concerned about what he wants to do with the stable. Apparently he wants it to be some kind of odd social hierarchy, where the richer ponies get the positions of power. Kinda messed up, if you ask me. The execs only accepted it as an experiment, as far as I know.”

Arcane nodded. “Yeah, if this stable ever sees use, it’ll end up with ancient-Unicornia-levels of ‘keeping the bloodline pure’. It’s already a huge problem with stables in general, but if you add incentive for inbreeding, then you’re bound to end up with a really bad place. I would give them… two generations before they allow cousins to get married.” I was still impressed by the accuracy of that prediction.

Forty years after the megaspells fell, the overmare at the time, Golden Aurora, had decided that only immediate relatives counted as family in the eyes of the law as a ploy to ensure her granddaughter would be the next overmare. It just didn’t make sense to keep pre-war laws and morals, she argued, when eventually everypony in the stable would be kin.

Still, from my perspective, it was hard to believe there was a time when you couldn’t marry your cousin. It was just that common in Stable 4. Then again, that only proved Arcane’s point, did it not?

“Yeah, I’m hoping it won’t see use to begin with, but I’m starting to think it might be inevitable,” she whispered the last part even more quietly than before. I knew the reason. Well, I’d speculated one up. During the war, the Ministry of Morale was responsible for keeping the public’s mood and general attitude positive. I’d never learned of their methods, but given the context, I suspected they weren’t very pleasant.

“I’m pretty convinced none of the stables will ever see any use. Call me crazy, but I think we’re approaching the peak of the conflict. Doesn’t seem like the end is too far off. Like, how bad could it get?”

Zephyr stared at her, wide-eyed. “You really believe that?”

“Mhm!” responded Arcane. “I mean, given how the conflict has been escalating recently, it’s only a matter of time before one of the parties tries to reach an armistice. Or one just ends up winning.”

“Wait, then why did you join Stable-Tec? Just because it’s a good, well-paid job?”

My host leaned back into her chair and raised her tone to normal speaking levels again. “Basically, yeah. Was the best job in arcano-tech that wasn’t directly related to… things I didn’t wanna be a part of.” I suspected she meant the war effort.

“That’s what your cutie mark is about, right?”

“Yup! Well, to be exact, it’s about fine manipulation of magic.” I regretted not being able to see her mark. “It’s related to this special quirk I have. I’m much better at sensing magic than the average unicorn. Usually, you can only really feel it as it leaves your horn. Meanwhile, I can perceive it all around me.” Prior to viewing this orb, I’d thought this was a perfectly normal thing that we could all do. Turns out I too was fairly special. Somehow.

Zephyr watched her soon-to-be marefriend with a placid smile, as the latter continued her tangent. “It usually goes unnoticed, since only ponies with a high talent for magic tend to realise it.” She shrugged. “Magic comes easily to ponies like us, even if most of us don’t really bother pursuing magic. Well anyway, magic was my dream, and this little gift only made chasing it easier. So here I am.” She stared at her glass for a moment, as if debating whether to finish it or not. “It’s extremely useful for understanding what happens inside a talisman.”

The next half dozen minutes were taken up by my host talking about talismans, spell matrices, and how to “debug” them. Zephyr seemed to understand even less than I did, but she kept smiling happily at Arcane. Eventually, her speech was interrupted by a waitress, carrying their food.

As Arcane started eating, her date told her, “You know, you somehow get even cuter when I don’t understand a word you say.” In response, Arcane swallowed her food wrong and started coughing. Eventually, she hacked up the culprit noodle. I could feel her cheeks growing hot while Zephyr giggled. “You should see your face right now.” Arcane’s cheeks only grew hotter.

The next half hour was spent eating and chatting about unimportant matters. I always lost track of their conversation, given how boring it was. I didn’t care for either of their families or friends. Or at all. Personal drama simply lay outside my area of interest. Back in the stable it would have been my duty to keep tabs on things like that. Thankfully, I’d abandoned that obligation a few months ago.

However, what I enjoyed with this orb was the atmosphere. Even in times of war, this place felt so much more alive than the wasteland or even Four. It was a memento of a time long gone. The music playing in the background, the idle chatter, the cleanliness, the size of the room. All of that came together to create such a delightful experience and change of pace from the wasteland. It was my escape.

Not to mention, the food was delicious. It was a seemingly simple dish. Tomato sauce and pasta. Yet it tasted so much better than anything I’d ever eaten before. The food back in the stable was so much blander, and I didn’t even dare compare what we could scrounge up in the wasteland to this. There simply wasn’t a comparison.

Yes, I had old world blues whenever I visited this orb, but I couldn’t help it, given how much better everything here was.

Coming out of the orb and back to my own senses was always the worst part. More specifically, waking up to the ringing in my ears.

I opened my eyes to find that Candy had already left the wagon. Whenever I needed to kill some time, such as when I awoke before Candy and didn’t exactly feel like reading, I would watch this orb. Even though I was ultimately encroaching on a private memory, it didn’t feel like I was doing anything wrong.

The “pt2” orb, however? Filly did I ever regret touching that to my horn. The memory felt so much more private, so much more intimate. Experiencing it, I learned that, through the use of… tools, two mares could have sexual intercourse. However, I didn’t exactly understand how fertilisation was possible in that case, given what Candy had told me about reproduction.

However, I’d also learned that it wasn’t always painful. In fact, it had been the opposite of that. Maybe that was the explanation for their actions? Was it possible that recreational sex had been an activity that pre-war ponies engaged in? More disturbing still, could it be that even afterwards, ponies had continued to do so? I couldn’t exclude the possibility, and that unsettled me even more. My thoughts drifted to my father, and I felt bile come up.

Why did I have to keep thinking about this stupid orb‽ I wished I could just forget about its contents. Forget about it entirely. Maybe once I figured out some of the spells from my most recent magic book.

In hindsight, there had been some references to recreational sex in the pre-war novels I’d read. Oddly enough, there hadn’t been any such references in the books I’d read back in the stable. Though maybe there was confirmation bias at play. Oh well, it wasn't like I could just go back and check. Wait, why was I still thinking about this? Go away, bad thoughts! I shook my head, attempting to force my mind into different avenues.

I decided to get up, but stumbled a little as I lost my balance. Grumbling, I found myself staring into the mirror in the back of our caravan. Originally, I’d wanted to get rid of it, because it kept reminding me of my scars, but I’d realised that recalling my screw-ups would probably help me avoid them.

The lower part of my face was slightly warped as part of the burn scar, though my fur had grown back over it. Overall, it wasn’t as prominent as the chemical burn from the toad abomination, where my fur was still patchy at best. A few smaller scars littered my face, but those were the least of my worries. No, what saddened me the most was my tattered left ear. It reminded me that my hearing would never go back to what it had once been. My eyesight had luckily recovered, despite the bright flashes, and I could even swear it was better than ever.

The last aspect of my physical appearance that had radically changed since the encounter with the sentry bot was how I wore my mane. After a good chunk of it had burned away, Candy had suggested we equalise its length, so I’d opted for a buzz cut. It had since grown back by a few centimetres and I now sported a short mohawk—was that the correct word? I’d never been very good with names like that. At first, I’d hated it but now I kind of liked it. Gave me a gruff mercenary vibe. And it was much more convenient. No more would the wind brush a loose strand of hair into my eyes or mouth.

In just a few months, I’d gone straight from looking like a stable dweller to resembling the average raider, not even the average wastelander. I sighed. It wouldn’t help to dwell on my scars.

I turned around and opened the door, letting the stale air from the cart out and the daft smell of mildew from the garage in. The freshness felt heavenly. We’d anticipated lower temperatures during the night and cranked the heater up. Unfortunately, we’d over-estimated the cold and ended up with an uncomfortably warm interior. The good news was that it would likely be warmer today. The bad news was that I’d gotten at least a few days closer to my next due bath.

I shuddered. Bathing in a cold region was not fun. Even with a barrel of hot water, drying off was always the worst part, and barrels of hot water were hard to come by. The best way was usually to place it above a fire, but that required being outdoors to avoid suffocation due to the smoke. Electric heaters were suboptimal, as power was expensive. Warming the inside of a wagon to habitable levels was much easier than heating several hundreds of litres of water to comfortable levels.

Ugh, why was I daydreaming about bathing?

I picked up a novel and started reading until Candy would come back from her daily jog. I could have entered the memory orb again, but I suspected she would be back any minute now. After that, we would travel to the train station to see if anypony needed our services. It was an average day at best, but with Candy by my side, I was content dealing with the drabness of the wasteland.

Hopefully I would not get any of the trance-like feeling that had made itself common over the past few months. I was starting to suspect a reason for it, but I wasn’t sure. It almost felt like a different pony was taking over my body for a few hours at a time, but this idea seemed absurd.

It was the only explanation I’d come up with, though.

"If it isn't our two wonderful mercenaries," greeted us Gust as we approached his desk.

"Please don't refer to us as that. We're caravan guards," replied Candy. Truth be told, we were closer to guides. We rarely got to kill anything other than a couple feral ghouls, but traders appreciated having somepony familiar with the region travel with them. We charged low enough that most caravans deemed our services worth investing into. Even a few local groups—like that of Banter or that crazy-tall unicorn, Skipper—occasionally asked us for help.

"I know, I know. I just enjoy calling you that." He was in an unusually good mood today, wasn't he? It wasn’t common to see him crack jokes, dry as they might be. I wondered what could have happened.

"Anyway," continued Candy, "since there aren't many caravans around, we were meaning to ask you if you needed us for anything."

"Hmm… I don't think I have anything specific for you two. There hasn't been much happening lately—well, not much you would help with, anyway—and the important pathways are mostly ghoul-free. The latter is mostly thanks to you and your frequent travels." He stopped to think for a moment. "There is something Gale would need the extra firepower for, but I don't think you'd be interested. I won't bother you two with the details, don’t worry."

By his tone, it probably involved attacking other ponies, and Candy wouldn't like that. Stars, even I disliked the idea. If I could avoid killing for long enough, maybe my mind would stop giving me those bloodthirsty fantasies. Just like my cravings for Mint-als had slowly dwindled, my desire for violence seemed to cool down as well. Maybe it was just like an addiction.

“How do you know we won’t be interested?” Learn to read the room, Candy.

“It’s about dealing with a group of bandits on the blue line. They’ve been messing with ponies in the region, though it was pretty mild until now. Well, if you can call armed robberies mild. Still, nothing murderous.” He shook his head in dismay. “But a few days ago they took some ponies hostage and demanded payment. All I could do was refuse, since agreeing to their terms would only empower them.”

Candy gasped. “You’d let those ponies die‽”

“Don’t have a choice. Like I said, if I accept to pay them, they’ll be able to buy better equipment and get allies. So far, they’re a weak group of slightly armed idiots. If we accept their terms, we’d be letting them become actual foes,” Gust stated, his tone much colder now. Bringing this up had clearly soured his mood.

“Oh…” muttered Candy. I knew what she was thinking. She realised how difficult of a position he was in. He couldn’t help out whoever had been captured. If he paid the bounty, he would only make the situation worse. If he attacked, the hostages would die if the assault was executed poorly. Even if they didn’t, Candy definitely didn’t like the idea of slaughtering ponies; bandits or no. “So, what do you plan to do?”

“Waiting to get more firepower. If I had more mercs under me, I would have already sent Gale to exterminate those pests, before they even got the chance to kidnap some innocent wastelanders. Trust me, I’m not happy about this.”

“Didn’t you say they’re weaklings? Why do you need reinforcements?” Candy asked. We didn’t really have a large fighting force, so Gust likely wanted to minimise casualties on our end. Wait, ‘we’? Candy and I weren’t involved in this.

“They are, but I can’t afford to lose any mercenaries. Just you two would considerably improve our odds, though I know I wouldn’t be able to convince you.” He stayed quiet for a few seconds, before adding, “You know what? It’s worth a shot. Please help us. You would increase our numbers by fifty percent. You’d be heroes for the ponies you’d save and for us.” So, he only had four mercenaries?

“Wait, only four? Last time I checked, there were six griffins living in New Detrot,” I interjected.

“I sent Blackbeak to Fillydelphia a few days ago to deliver a message, and you know I can’t fight.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Because of your wing and leg? You can still hold a rifle, can’t you?”

“Yes, but I’m a sitting duck if I join battle. I can’t dodge shots, and I can’t move to a better vantage point, I’m just stuck.”

“This doesn’t sound too different from Iron’s situation. So you want others to risk their lives, but aren’t willing to risk yours?” challenged Candy, voice growing disdainful. She wasn’t fully correct, because I did have my teleportation. In theory.

“No, that’s not it, it’s just that—” He went quiet. “You know what? You’re right. I’ll join the attack, though only if you two join as well. Otherwise I’ll just wait for reinforcements. I just really don’t want to lose any of my Talons.”

Candy rubbed her chin. “Do you really think we would make that much of a difference?”

“Oh yes. Just the extra firepower should make the attack a lot safer for us. You’re fairly competent, and having you would help us out a lot. Not to mention, the EFS spell you two have access to would make this even safer.”

“Hmm… Would you mind giving us a moment?” Gust nodded, and Candy leaned towards me, whispering, “I’m not very convinced. I like the idea of putting you in danger even less than hurting another pony. If these bandits weren’t such terrible individuals, I would flat out refuse, but given that we can actually help out good ponies by getting rid of the raiders, the decision becomes much tougher.”

“I don’t like the idea.” Not only did I not want to endanger Candy or myself, I also didn’t like the prospect of killing more ponies. Mostly because I believed it would fix my addiction to violent murder. Did I really just think that? Besides, murder was wrong, wasn’t it? “If we were short on caps, I’d consider it. As it is, it’s just not worth risking our lives over.” If the region ended up suffering from that group, we could always find a new home. As much as I enjoyed knowing my surroundings, I knew I could make any place my home as long as Candy was with me.

The ever-present ringing in my left ear grew louder.

She turned to face Gust. “I’m sorry, but we just aren’t heroes, or whatever you’re trying to paint us as. And since we don’t need the money right now, we will have to decline the offer.” I could tell she didn’t like saying this. She was a hero. Or rather, she had the potential to be one.

I didn’t, and I was holding her back, and I couldn’t imagine striving for it. We would be much happier if we lived a normal wastelander life, rather than trying to fix this mess that somepony else had created.

No, we weren’t heroes, and I wouldn’t let us become them. “In the end, we don’t really have a reason to help,” I added.

I started moving towards the notice board, Candy in tow, when the griffin spoke up once more, “Is that so? Then I think you might change your mind if you learn who the abducted ponies are.” His voice had a much darker edge to it than previously. A horrible chill ran down my spine. It couldn’t be. No. Please don’t. I shuddered.

“You can’t mean…?” mumbled Candy.

Gust sighed deeply. “Yes. Banter and his friends. I’m… sorry.” My mind raced for reasons why he would have kept that from us. Had he wanted to keep us calm? Why?

Candy slammed her hooves on the table “Why didn’t you tell us that sooner‽”

“Didn’t want to admit I was considering letting your friends die, plain and simple. I did not want to tell two of the most promising ponies in the entire region that I would be complicit in their friends’ deaths.” He tried to remain stoic, but his tone subtly betrayed his apprehension.

Candy and I looked at each other, and through eye contact, we could tell we were on the same page.

“You are such an asshole,” she said to him. “We’re charging you double for your stupid mind games.”

We were waiting in a small pre-war village for our scout to return, and I was bored. Worse yet, I was alone with my thoughts.

The radio tower stood on top of a large hill. I’d seen it over the treetops while travelling along the tracks west of it. For some reason, the towns along the blue line were even smaller than the other villages scattered throughout the region. A single row of buildings on each side separated the tracks and road from the dense conifer forest. In the dark of the night, this area struck me as incredibly unsettling. On top of that, the feeling of being watched was stronger tonight than usual.

I still didn’t understand why it bothered me so much. I had no interest in saving these ponies prior to finding out who they were, and was perfectly content letting them get murdered by bandits. The only explanation I could think of was that I’d grown to care about them in a similar way to how I cherished Candy, but I barely knew them. Had I really gotten attached to them so quickly?

Maybe it was unfair to put it like that. We’d only known them for two and a half months, but we had spent many evenings around a campfire, talking about anything and everything. Since my injury, Lockpick and I hadn’t gotten around to her practice, and I was beginning to worry she would think I hadn’t meant my offer.

Yeah, I definitely cared about her, and I would try to put time aside to help Lockpick learn to sing. Provided we managed to save them. What was I thinking? Of course we would succeed.

Maybe I could even learn that instrument spell that I’d seen ponies use to accompany her. It didn’t seem too complex, after all. Certainly nothing somepony of my talent would struggle with. While I wouldn’t enjoy playing, helping my friend was definitely a good goal.

I shook my thoughts back to the here and now. This raised the question—how would we save the three of them? They’d likely get killed once we started the frontal assault; I should ask Gale to adapt our plan accordingly. My idea had been to try and get them to safety by infiltrating the facility with my StealthBuck.

Apparently, those devices cast a camouflage spell on the user, so potent that one would appear invisible. If I could get them to safety first, that would be ideal. If not, I could always try to take out a few ponies from within their own lines, which could lead to a massive advantage for us. I would need a sharp knife to kill quietly.

Eventually, our scout returned, explaining that she hadn’t seen any hostiles along the road, only near the bunker at the bottom of the radio tower. The fact that it only had one entrance complicated my original idea, which I brought up when we started discussing a plan. Candy protested, and wanted to be the one to infiltrate their base with the StealthBuck, but a quick mention of my height and weight compared to hers convinced her otherwise.

Then, we ironed out the details. Our group would advance up the hill, our explosives expert checking for traps. Candy and I were to walk in the middle, and report if anything showed up on our EFSs. Of course, I would be ignoring the ghost bars that would appear whenever we were near a forest, but if any bar persisted, I would immediately tell everybody.

As we made our way up the road, I was almost surprised that we didn’t encounter any bars hidden in the woods. I hadn’t expected any. Then again, it made perfect sense—why would they hide inside the forest full of deadly animals? Especially given that there were only half a dozen raiders at most—according to Gust. Every few minutes, our lead spotted mines and disarmed them.

It was odd, though. All this talk of deadly animals, and we’d never gotten attacked by them. Still, we had no reason to risk entering the forest. But… The theory that animals didn’t attack ponies that stayed out of the forest seemed too convenient. And yet it appeared true. What if there just weren’t any animals, and it was all just rumours?

Our scout informed us that the crossroads ahead was close to their bunker. Sure enough, red bars started appearing as we approached, and I informed the others.

Setting our plan in motion, I took off my saddlebags, accepted Candy’s shotgun, and gave her my pistol in exchange; I needed the firepower more than she did. I also borrowed Gale’s combat knife, attaching it to my harness. Finally, I took a deep breath before plugging the StealthBuck into my PipBuck.

My hooves turned transparent, including the device on them. Even the firearm in my telekinetic grip was almost invisible. I knew it was there, and I could see the slight deformations around it, but anyone a more metre away from me would have a hard time noticing me in the dark.

For the first time in weeks, if not months, I didn’t feel like I was being watched. It was absolutely liberating. Maybe I would get some proper sleep for once if I lay down with one of those active.

Whatever, I had no time to waste. “Looks like it’s working. I’ll be going now.”

“Wait…” Candy started. “Nothing… Just… just be safe, please.”

“I will.” Just like that, I was off.

As I turned the corner, I realised that a spotlight was aimed at the road, and that I would have to go around it.

I pressed on, carefully watching the ground for mines. I knew what they looked like, so I knew what to expect, but I was still afraid I could miss one. When I finally spotted one, I breathed a sigh of relief; they stood out. Still, I didn’t let my guard down.

Unfortunately for me, my eyes adapted to the bright light as I tried to walk around them, leaving me no choice but to cut straight through the spotlight. If I didn’t, I would definitely miss a mine in the darkness. I couldn’t go through the forest either, since I was bound to make noise.

I would simply have to trust my StealthBuck.

I slowly walked through the bright road. I could at least clearly see the ground, and mines would be easy to spot against the grey concrete. That was where the good news ended, though, as I couldn’t see the guards standing in the shade. I could only on my EFS, which claimed they were currently both stationary.

Eventually, I made it through the bright hellscape. Crossing back into the darkness proved to be nerve-wracking, since I couldn’t even see the ground. Carefully, slowly, I stepped back into serene darkness. Once my eyes more or less adjusted, I spotted the guards: a stallion and a mare, sitting on chairs in front of the bunker’s entrance, each facing a different direction. An improvised metal roof extended over them, presumably to defend them from airborne attackers. It made sense, given that their main enemy was a group of griffins. Or maybe I was giving them too much credit.

Regardless, these two would make escaping the bunker with the hostages much harder than expected.

I switched to plan B, which involved finding a way to make sure Lockpick and the others survived the encounter, and taking out some bandits if I could. Well, the first part implied finding them first, which would be difficult, considering there were white bars everywhere inside.

My left ear started ringing, because of course it did.

Luckily for me, neither of the guards noticed as I snuck in-between them as they watched the road. One of them did seem to react to me passing by, but as he turned his head and saw only air, he just shrugged.

The heavy concrete door leading inside the bunker was open, likely because closing it was a chore. The interior was a single dimly lit corridor, with flimsy-looking doors on either side of it. Moving towards the back revealed that there was a single white bar in each of the rooms, except for the last one, which held three. Bingo.

I made my way towards it and hoped my prediction was correct. As I opened the door, I was relieved to find the three of them lying on the floor, tied up and gagged. Well, I was relieved to have found them. Only Petal was awake.

She stared wide-eyed at the door as I closed it behind me. I whispered, “It’s me: Iron. I have an invisibility spell. I’m going to cut you loose, but we’re going to have to stay quiet until the griffins attack. Okay?”

I turned off my StealthBuck—so that the two others could wake up to a familiar face—before freeing all three from their ropes and gags. They’d been here a few days, as made obvious by the red marks on their hooves.

“Iron? What are you doing here?” asked the Banter.

“Helping save you. In…” I checked the time on my PipBuick. “Seventeen minutes, Gale and her Talons will launch a surprise attack on this place. Amidst the chaos, it’s likely that one of the bandits will try to leverage you as hostages. This is where I’m supposed to come in. I was supposed to get you somewhere safe, but since this bunker is smaller than we imagined, I think we’ll just hide across the hall.” They quietly nodded. I was glad they understood the severity of the situation.

I led them across to the other room, to find that it was a bathroom. Smell of dried urine and faeces assaulted my nostrils, and I grimaced despite myself. This raised the risk that somepony would accidentally stumble upon us.

However, a plan popped into my mind. I told the three to hide in the shower stall. It wouldn’t be comfortable, but it would prevent them from being immediately spotted. I would stay behind the door, ready to stab whoever entered the room. I didn’t know if I would be able to kill a pony with this before they made a sound, but it was better than using a firearm to start.

It was ultimately a gamble, but it just barely beat the alternative of staying in the main room and hoping I could fend off whoever came for the hostages when the griffins attacked.

The next quarter hour passed extremely slowly. None of us dared to say a word, and the tension only made each minute longer. Thankfully, none of the other bars on my EFS moved, which helped me relax, if only slightly.

I ended up occupying myself by forcing lots of energy into my telekinesis, keeping it perfectly still. I soon realised that each droplet from the leaky faucet sent tiny vibrations through my knife. It made sense, given the nature of sound, but it still fascinated me that I was able to feel that.

When the first gunshots echoed outside, every white bar, save for my friends’, turned red. Ponies screamed.

“We’re under attack! It’s the griffins!” screamed a male voice—probably the left guard.

A female voice shouted, “Rusty! Get the filly! We might be able to negotiate out of this if we remind them we have a foal hostage!” Just like Gale predicted. I heard hoofsteps in the hallway.

A moment later, Rusty called out, “Boss! They’re gone!”

“Keep looking, you retard,” came the boss’ reply, and I could hear Rusty rummaging in the other room. What an idiot.

A few seconds later, the gunshots died down. Wait what? “What are you doing?” asked Rusty.

“There’s no way we’re winning this. Our best bet is to hole up and hope the griffins are content with killing most of us. If our bargaining chip is gone, all we can do is hope we can survive,” replied another voice I hadn’t heard yet. So even they knew they couldn’t win an all-out confrontation with Gale’s Talons? Interesting.

“Uh, okay,” was Rusty’s dimwitted reply. “In that case, I’m gonna go take a leak.” Stars fuck me hard.

I needed to kill her. Could I risk using the knife? I had to stay quiet, but what if she managed to deflect it and then stomped my head into paste? What if she was a unicorn and could grab for her gun faster than I could stab her? What if—

I pulled out my shotgun. Three on one weren’t terrible odds.

The door opened, and in stepped a rust-coated earth pony. A heartbeat later, I painted the floor with her brains and grinned as my ears rang. A second later, enough of my hearing returned to hear myself giggling.

Behind me, Lockpick was shrieking, and another pony was retching. Hoofsteps reverberated in the hallway. I needed to take the initiative. They knew I was here, and I wouldn’t manage to surprise another pony like this. Worse, by staying here I was endangering the others. I stepped out of the restroom, my head spinning.

The pony that had been running towards the bathroom, a charcoal grey unicorn stopped dead in her tracks. Before I could react and pull the trigger, her horn glowed, yanking my shotgun from me.

Part of me panicked. I grinned.

She pulled the trigger on her pistol, and a sharp pain pierced my chest. My grin grew wider. I’d show her! Slipping into SATS, I queued a teleport behind her and activated the spell. How I’d missed this!

She pulled the trigger again, but I was already behind her, picking up my gun. She tried to turn around, but it was too late. My off-centre shot shredded her torso, and she howled, dropping her weapon. I cackled and pumped my shotgun. Her horn glowed in some sort of last-ditch effort to save herself, but whatever she tried to do was interrupted by a shower of lead.

I started laughing even harder, but immediately stopped when I realised that a white bar had left the room to my left. I spun around, only to see a green blur bolt into the other room. Oh no, she was not getting away.

I ran in before she could close the door, only to find her… cowering in a corner.

“N-no! P-p-p-please don’t kill me!” begged my prey, hiding her face behind her hooves. I shoved them aside telekinetically, and made her look at me. The terror on her face was absolutely delightful. “I-I swear! I’ll t-turn a new leaf!”

But my grin didn’t falter, and with each moment the horror in her eyes grew. I almost blasted her skull, but changed my aim for her chest at the moment, giggling happily as her front hooves exploded in a shower of lead, blood, sinew, and bone. A chunk of meat bounced off the wall, landing on my face. By then, I was cackling maniacally, as she was howling in pain, which only redoubled my laughter. If murder was wrong, then why was it so fun?

Stars, had I missed this! I’d missed this so much! Tears were streaming down my face. Why had I ever decided that I shouldn’t kill? This was so much fun. Maybe I’d regret it later, but right now? I was ecstatic. There was nothing better than being me right now. There was nothing stopping me anymore! A fit of coughing interrupted me, and I tasted blood.

It was then I noticed the white bar approaching from behind. Another target?

I was snapped back to reality as Lockpick poked her head around the corner, levitating a pistol in her orange aura. I couldn’t shoot her. She was my friend. My weapon fell out of my magic, and my vision turned black. She dropped her pistol and ran towards me. My head hit the ground before she could reach me.

I was walking next to Candy, behind the group of Talons and ahead of Banter and his group. My chest was sore from where I’d been shot. Luckily for me, Lockpick had fed me a healing potion from my harness, else I wouldn’t be feeling anything now. I’d neglected telling Candy about it, to avoid needlessly worrying her, and she hadn’t commented about the bloodstain or the hole in my jumpsuit.

I still couldn’t believe I’d ignored such a severe wound. Tunnel vision had gotten the better of me, and that terrified me. How much closer would I keep getting to death until I stopped making all these stupid, reckless mistakes? I sighed, thinking back to the times I’d gotten hurt over the past three months.

First, there had been that raider fight. Back then, I didn’t really know how to use a weapon, but that wasn’t really my fault. My mistake had been to assume I could sneak up on them without getting noticed. My curiosity was also to blame.

Then, there had been the ghoul. I hadn’t been wary enough of something I didn’t know, and I hadn’t put enough faith in Candy. Had I been behind her, neither of us would have been hurt.

After that… the toads. I shuddered. My mistake had been… what? It wasn’t so obvious. I’d already thought about it. On the surface, the answer was simply that I’d practised magic when I shouldn’t have, but there had to be an underlying, more profound reason. I let my mind roam freely. The only deeper cause I could think of was curiosity. Maybe I did have a problem with that… Maybe impatience, too. Had I waited for Candy to wake up, or thought about it some more, I could have maybe avoided the whole fiasco.

Then, the sentry bot. That one was my biggest screw-up to date. Curiosity had played a big role in that one, but it wasn’t the only reason things turned out so badly. Overconfidence and ruthlessness certainly didn’t help. Had I not decided that I absolutely needed to know what was in the old Stable-Tec building, I would have been fine. If I had been more careful when walking around, I wouldn’t have gotten hurt. If I hadn’t assumed I could easily take out any of the hostiles on my EFS. Or even if I’d just thought my attack through properly, instead of blindly blasting the robot with explosives. There were several ways I could have coordinated my movement with Candy. I could hav—

Candy interrupted my train of thought. “You know, I’ve been thinking… I… I’d like to keep doing this. Being a positive influence on a region. We’re already killers. What difference would it make if we kill three or three dozen, if it means others won’t have to suffer?”

She took a short break to breathe, and I took the opportunity to cut her off, “Candy, I don’t want to play heroes.”

“No, no. I’m not exactly sure what that would entail, but it’s not my intention either. The wasteland doesn’t need well-meaning amateurs. The wasteland needs order. It’s what I realised when working with Gale. Ponies will stop doing terrible things to each other when there’s no more reason to do so. I want to join a group of mercenaries and help Equestria in a lasting way.”

I was fine with that. If we were compensated for our efforts, we could eventually retire with all the caps we’d made. “That’s more reasonable.” I telekinetically touched the sore spot on my chest and added, “I’d like to get some proper barding, though. At least something that would cover up my chest.” Stars above, Radheart would have to reopen the wound to dig out the bullet, wouldn’t she? Whatever, no point worrying about that now.

Candy sighed, then nodded, and soon silence blanketed our group again. The next day, we asked Gust if he wanted to hire us long term. As suspected, he didn’t really have any open spots. He said he could employ us two days a week at most.

When asked about what we could do instead, he gave us a contact. A griffin female by the name of Stern, who operated in the East. She worked with an earth pony stallion who was aiming to “build a new Equestria”. This was enough to convince Candy, and, by extension, myself.

Many weeks later, Candy and I were sitting on the roof of a ruined building at the outskirts of Manehattan. We’d hidden our caravan in the building’s garage, as per usual, and were now watching over the dimly lit ruins of the city. In the distance, a single building stood over everything else—Tenpony Tower.

Despite the late hour and the slight breeze, the temperature was still bearable. Of course, my patched up Stable-Tec jumpsuit helped. I’d taken off my saddlebags, helmet, and barding—light pieces of kevlar that only covered the most important parts of my body—and was enjoying how liberating it felt. I didn’t understand how Candy could wear her gear almost all the time.

The smell of dust hung in the air, as usual. It had only taken a few weeks for me to grow used to it. In fact, it was kind of a welcome change from the Detrot region’s mud and rotting grass.

The wind was just loud enough that it allowed me to ignore the ringing in my ear, but other than that, the night was quiet. All things considered, it was the perfect setting to relax.

It only made me more nervous. With how calm everything else was, the feeling of being watched threatened to drive me insane. No matter how many times I tried to push it aside, the unpleasant thought kept bubbling to the top of my sea of thoughts.

As we had started drawing closer and closer to Fillydelphia, I began having more and more doubts about this choice of career. Even with Gust’s recommendation, we’d be treated like the rookies we were, but that ultimately did not bother us.

No, what really tanked my confidence was my mental health. I sighed, taking a deep breath. “Hey, Candy?” I’d put off this conversation for long enough. Today would be the day.

“Hmm?”

“I’m… having second thoughts about this whole thing. Us being actual mercenaries and all.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll do fine. I’ve seen you shoot. We’re more than capable.” Even if that was true, it wasn’t why I was scared.

“No, Candy. I… I’ve been keeping secrets from you. Bad secrets.”

She turned to stare at me and gulped. “Have you… have you been taking mint-als?” Her voice was quiet, as if she was afraid to ask.

It took everything I had to shake my head. I could feel tears welling up. I didn’t want to admit this. I didn’t want to talk about this. I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to ask for help. I didn’t want to admit I was weak. I didn’t want to admit I was messed up. I— “Then what is it?” Her voice was again full of the same serene, caring worry that I loved so damn much. My tears started flowing.

“I’m not fine, Candy.” I tried to continue, but every time I opened my mouth, only sobs came out. Eventually, Candy placed a hoof on my withers. “I’m a bloodthirsty murderer!” I screamed into the night. “With each day, I’m only losing more of my Stars-damned sanity…”

She took my hoof into hers. “I’d like you to tell me more, sis.”

I thought for a long moment about what I wanted to tell her, and breathed in.

There was a lot to unpack, so I started with the least bad, but also the one that was most likely to make her despise me. “I… I… I enjoy killing. I see a pony’s skull blow up in a shower of gore and blood, and I’m happy. I don’t understand why. I like watching the fear in my enemies’ eyes when they know they’re about to die. I know it’s not normal. I know I shouldn’t feel this way. I know I’m a bad pony.” Tears were streaming down my face while I whimpered, “Please don’t hate me…”

To my surprise, she only pulled me into a hug. How was this mare so perfect? How could she accept me despite my cruelty? “Shh, it’s okay, Iron.” She caressed my back, holding me close. “A wise mare once told me; you aren’t your thoughts. The only thing that matters are your actions. Enjoying killing is not healthy, but if you haven’t killed for the fun of it, then things should be fine.” Uh oh.

“That’s the thing… I think I have. Back when we were taking care of those raiders. One of them… I think she had a change of heart. But… in the heat of the moment… I didn’t hesitate a second before slaughtering her.” No, that was terrible wording. That made it seem like I hadn’t known she wasn’t a threat. I was making it sound like I hadn’t shot her in the chest to hear her screams of agony. And yet… I didn’t dare correct myself. I was on thin ice. She still loved me. I had to keep it that way, no matter how terrible a pony I was in reality.

“She was a raider. Pony rules don’t apply to them. She accepted her fate the moment she turned towards that life.” Those were harsh words to hear from Candy, but she had her reasons. I shuddered. I couldn’t afford to give her a reason to hate me.

We stayed like this for a few more minutes, her gently brushing my back with her hooves while I worked up the courage to drop a bomb on her.

Eventually, I backed away from the hug. I’d told her what was most likely to upset her, now it was time to tell her what fucking terrified me. I would start with the most immediately distressing one. “There… there are other things I wanted to tell you. The scary part of all of this is that my bloodlust is the least of my mental problems.”

For a split second, her serene smile vanished, but she quickly corrected it. “What do you mean?” she calmly asked.

“I always feel watched. At first, it was just occasionally. I would feel like somepony was somewhere, observing me. With time, even when I wasn’t feeling observed, I still had the sneaking impression somepony might be stalking me. Now I can’t tell the two feelings apart. It’s eating me up on the inside.” I was shaking. I was crying. I wanted this to stop. I wanted another StealthBuck.

Candy gulped. “When… When did this start?” At least I wasn’t the only one who was concerned by my paranoia.

“Around the time we came close to Old Detrot. I was certain somepony was following us, but my PipBuck wasn’t confirming it. I figured I was hallucinating or imagining things.” Trying my best to stop my shaking and calm down, I set my gaze on the ruined skyline.

“How bad is it right now?”

“Extremely bad. It’s like somepony is standing on the roof with us. It’s what set off this entire conversation. If I didn’t know any better, I would think there’s somepony behind me.”

“My, my, how observant.” My entire body froze. Who— “We are most impressed with you, little one.”

“Who are you? Show yourself!” shouted Candy. I wanted to say something, do something, anything at all, but my body refused to move.

“Our name is of no importance to you.” When Candy gasped, I finally managed to turn around and see a huge blue figure. An alicorn. Princess Luna? No, she had died close to two centuries ago, and those colours weren’t quite right. But then why the royal We? She almost reminded me of that tall unicorn in New Detrot, but this mare was darker. “Come with Us, little one.”

“Why would I want to do that?” I asked defiantly, desperately trying to sound collected and unbothered.

The alicorn gave me a creepy attempt at a polite smile. “The Goddess accepts all who are gifted with magic as strong as yours. We originally meant to merely keep watch over you, and only take you in once you achieved finer control over your magic. However, your extraordinary sense rekindled Our interest in you.”

She had been the one watching me, and I'd just felt her presence? I wasn't crazy? No. I doubted she’d caused all this paranoia. Sometime along the way, I'd started hallucinating the feeling. I knew this because the sensation was less concrete sometimes than others, I just hadn't realised it until now. I'd been too convinced I was wrong to notice the threat.

Wait, was she a threat? The alicorn was shady, that much was certain, but she didn't seem to want to hurt me. If anything, this sounded like an offer. What would happen if I refused it, though?

“You still haven't told me why I should care,” I deadpanned.

“Because you do not really have a choice, little one,” she answered with a calm, dangerous smile. So my original impression had been correct.

“I… see… Can I just…?”

I pretended to check something on my PipBuck. Then, when it faced the right way, I blinded her using the flashlight. I unharnessed my shotgun, pouring ample magic into my grip to prevent her from ripping the firearm out of it. Alicorn or no, I wouldn't let her get away with threatening me.

Right before I could fire, my telekinesis was utterly and violently overwhelmed, sending a wave of pain through my horn. My weapon plummeted twenty storeys. Next, my harness was also stripped from me, following the same path as the gun.

Unarmed, I cowered. I was no match.

Candy charged the alicorn, who effortlessly threw her aside, making her hit the ground head-first. But Candy got up. Blood running down her face, she stared down the alicorn.

Bruised and beaten, she stood defiant. Her telekinesis reached for her shotgun. Don't! You're no match! I wanted to scream it, but I was frozen. I… I needed to go with the alicorn. “I…” I started, but it was too late. The blue glow overpowered the pink one, and turned the gun around.

“Stop!” I cried out, but my shout was drowned out by the roar of the shotgun. Candy stumbled backwards, but didn't fall on me.

Instead, she stood over me, her blood dripping seeping into my fur. She leaned on her left leg. “I won't let you have my sister!”

"Please, stop," I begged her, my voice weak. Neither of them heard me, or neither cared, and the alicorn shot again. Candy was pushed backwards once again, and her hind legs went over the edge.

Before she fell, I caught her right front hoof in my magic. She was heavy. Her armour and equipment added a lot of weight as well. No, I couldn't lose her! I poured everything into my telekinesis, and she stopped falling. I started pulling her up, blinding sparks flying from my horn. Pressing my eyes shut, I redoubled my efforts.

Suddenly, her weight dropped drastically. My stomach churned. Had I been holding only her PipBuck, only for it to come loose? Had she grabbed the ledge? Was she safe? I doubted it, but I wanted to believe it.

I opened my eyes, and saw that I was holding Candy Cane's detached leg in my telekinesis.

I screamed.

A flash of purple lit up the rooftop, and I felt the familiar currents of an incoming teleportation spell. Next thing I knew, I was enveloped by the same violet aura. I tried fighting it, but it was pointless. Opposing the currents directly was utterly impossible.

Then, the mysterious figure started channelling another teleportation spell. Again, I tried to cancel out the spell, only to be utterly overpowered. I had to save Candy. I had to. I knew she was still alive. If I gave her a healing potion or two, her wounds would close. We would set her broken bones, and she would be fine. I just needed to get out of this grasp.

As the purple mare’s cast came closer and closer to its end, I had a desperate idea. When the energy started travelling, I made my last-ditch effort. I pushed hard against the flow, redirecting it towards the tower's base, but she pushed back. For the second time tonight, I poured my all into my horn, and it hurt like it was about to break off. That didn't matter, though.

The spell popped, and everything went dark.

I couldn't see anything around me, and my EFS was empty. I could only stand there for stars knew how long, trying to grasp the situation as tears freely flowed down my cheeks.

I wailed.

Footnote:

New Perk: Teleportation Redirection — Your flawed way of teleporting has taught you how to forcibly redirect a teleportation spell to another location within the original range.

Chapter 9 — Clouded Mind

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 10 — Reason to Hate

Chapter 10: Reason to Hate

Taking another sip of wine, I turned back towards Cascade. "You sure you don't want some?"

She shook her head. "I don't get how you can even stomach this stuff. And I'd still rather sell it than have you drink it." I shrugged. More for me.

"I dunno, I used to hate it too when I was a foal, now I'm used to it, and it's pretty good. Though it doesn't taste nearly as good as what I—or rather my host, I should say—drank in that memory orb," I replied, finally starting to feel less gloomy.

Raising an eyebrow, she questioned, "The memory… orb?"

"Yeah, some pre-war spell talisman thingy. You focus your magic on it and poof, you're somewhere else. I'd show you one as an example, but they were in my old saddlebags." I made an exaggerated frown, then took another sip from the bottle.

As Cascade didn’t say anything back, I continued, "You know what we should try to find? A proper wine glass. I saw a few when we were rummaging around, but you told me they weren't worth anything, so I didn't bother taking them, and now I'm thinking that we shoulda taken them because drinking straight out of the bottle isn't as refined." Before she had the chance to reply, I added, "Come to think of it, I smashed a few glasses the night Candy died."

Her voice hesitant, Cascade asked, "But… why?" She needed to relax!

"Because I got drunk and started breaking everything!" I laughed heartily. "Was the most fun I've ever had. I thrashed that entire fucking mansion! Threw chairs against a glass table, flipped every piece of furniture, et cetera! But I fucked up my leg when I bucked a door too hard." Lifting the wine to my lips, I said, "Sucks that this place doesn't have anything." In fact, the room was mostly empty save for a few mattresses. Before drinking, I'd figured it would be a nice place to spend the night, but now I regretted the lack of destructible things.

"We should find somewhere cooler to sleep, somewhere I can break something."

"I would prefer to stay here," rebutted Cascade. "And I'd also prefer it if you kept your tone down." She was starting to sound… annoyed? Uptight idiot.

"Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine," I whined—quietly, of course. "But why though?"

"Because somepony—or worse, something—could find us if you keep half-shouting," she hissed.

"Somepony? I can't think of anyone I can't take! I can just shoot them if they come." An amazing idea crossed my mind. "Wooaaaaah!" I shouted. "You know what we should do? Find some raiders or bandits, then use them for target practice!"

"No!" she half-whispered, half-yelled. "What could possibly make you think that's a good idea!?"

"Weeeeeeeeell," I began, unbothered by her outburst, "I'm thinkin'... If simple destruction is so much fun already, then violent murder must be soooo much cooler!"

Cascade stared at me in shock, and I returned her gaze, grinning. Eventually, she seemed to calm down enough to say something. "You really shouldn't drink this much. Joking about killing somepony isn't funny."

Right. Murder wasn't supposed to be fun. In fact, it was very much looked down on. Why did I think saying that was a good idea? She must have noticed my expression, as her gaze softened, and she told me, "Sorry, didn't mean to be so harsh, but maybe it's best if you put the bottle away."

"Uuuugh, I guess you're right. Last time I drank the full bottle, I ended up losing my memory for like a week. But it's so much fuuuun."

"Well, it's also… It's weird to see. Not even an hour ago you were still sobbing, and now you're laughing like you don't have a worry in the world."

"Well, duh, why do you think I drink?"

She blinked. "Huh?"

"I dunno, when I'm drunk, I just forget about the sad stuff. Well, I guess I don't forget-forgetabout it, but it just doesn't make me as sad. The fun stuff is even more fun, too. I learned that much when I got drunk by accident the first time. Too bad my sense of balance goes to shit, or I'd love to be drunk all the time!"

"That… sounds like an addiction waiting to happen."

"Don't be silly, alcohol isn't medicine, you can't get addicted to it," I confidently stated. "Many adults in the stable drank tons of the stuff and were fiiiiiiine." I was about to take another sip, but I caught myself, instead just trying to put the cork back in the bottle. "Makes me wonder how this stuff was made. Or I guess 'is made' in general, because it's probably still possible to produce."

Cascade rolled her eyes and gave me a half-smile. "You talk a lot when you drink, and it’s harder to understand you with how much you slur your words," she said.

"Well, yeah! It's so much more fun. It's like the mental filter is completely gone, and I just say what I think, instead of ruminating on whether or not it's worth mentioning. I never thought talking to somepony could be entertaining!" A few moments later, what she said struck me. Offended, I gasped. “I’m not slurring my words! I’m enunciating them perfectly.”

“You just said ‘pewfectwy’,” she stated flatly. Whatever!

The evening went by with me rambling on about various topics, while she occasionally replied, usually to tell me to keep quiet, though sometimes she humoured my antics.

I eventually grew tired and lay down to call it a night. As my eyes grew heavy, my thoughts returned to Candy, and I cried myself to sleep. She’d never hug me again…

Sitting on the side of our shared mattress, I clicked away on my PipBuck. A few weeks ago, when leaving Manehattan, I'd decided to keep a journal in case I ever lose my memory again. The large shack we had spent the night in was illuminated by early morning daylight. I'd been so tired the night prior that I'd gone to bed without writing that day's entry first. Then again, it hadn’t been interesting in the slightest. There really weren't many things to do while walking through the desert-like wasteland west of Manehattan, and thus there wasn't much to write about either.

My first entry in the journal had been a vague plan for revenge. I'd formulated it while on the road, the day after speaking with Airdrop. I would spend a few weeks, months or perhaps longer finding a way to kill the alicorn that had taken the most important thing from me.

So far, the plan was simply to find ways to ‘get stronger at magic’, then ‘track her down’. As a first step, I'd decided to strengthen my telekinesis by lifting weights every day. Another measure was to stay away from Manehattan as well as the rest of northern Equestria. I needed to avoid this alicorn until I could kill her.

Thinking about what more I could write, I spotted Cascade's slumbering shape in the corner of my eye. Her side rose with each breath. When she wasn't awake, she was almost cute. I doubted I'd get romantic feelings for her even if she wasn't a frigid jerk to me half the time—why did she even stick around me if she disliked me this much? Truth be told, I didn't even know if I liked fillies that way. Did I even like colts? What did it even matter? Well, it wasn't like I had anything more interesting to think about at the moment.

In the stable, I'd known of and understood the idea of romantic relationships, but my mother had made it very clear from a young age that this was for common ponies only. Us elites had no business falling in love with somepony we weren't meant to marry.

Naturally, becoming a commoner had opened up this avenue of thought to me, though only through viewing all three of Arcane's memory orbs had my mind been encouraged to explore those ideas a bit more.

Romance books always seemed to imply that there was one perfect stallion or mare for everyone. Would there be one for me as well? As if to torture me, Candy's name immediately popped into my mind, and I was overcome with confusion, shame, and, most of all, sadness. While my feelings for her had clearly not been romantic in nature, she had been somepony whose side I never wanted to leave.

Thinking back, I'd clearly made her uncomfortable all these months ago with my one comment—when I told her I wouldn’t mind marrying her—and I now understood why. I wanted to sink into the ground, but that feeling was promptly swept away by the painful reminder that it didn't matter; I wouldn't ever see her again. She wouldn’t care about it, either. Forcing my thoughts away from this depressing subject matter, I decided to write a summary of my mental trip just now. It was hard remembering exactly where my mind had roamed, but I was making considerable progress.

Progress which was interrupted by five red bars blinking into existence on my EFS. Immediately, I lay down and quietly shook Cascade awake, placing a hoof on her muzzle. "Nyuh?" was all she mustered at first, but as she noticed my serious expression, she quickly sobered up when I shushed her. Packing my food back into my saddlebags and readying my rifle, I silently thanked her for her idea of picking a sleeping spot near the wall. We started moving towards the shack’s other door.

All too fast, they were already close enough for me to overhear their conversation. "The tracks are here since early this morning. Two ponies, small, presumably young," a female voice said. There was a break with only the sound of movement. "You go around; it's likely they're still here, but they could have left through the back door." Ponyfeathers. Or was it a male voice? I couldn’t tell. Not the moment, brain!

I tried coming up with an alternative plan. I could always stay close to the wall, wait for them to enter, then get a surprise SATS kill or two, then teleport us out, and while they would give chase, I’d get rid of the other two. I didn’t like this idea; it would lead us to being flanked from both sides, which wasn’t a great trade-off for a surprise attack or two. However, as two of the ponies outside ran around the cabin, I realised it was in my best interest to kill as many as I could before starting to run.

What shocked me was the stallion calling out through the window with a strangely soothing voice. “It’s okay, we’re here to save you, little ones.” Did he seriously think anypony would fall for that? Though, to my surprise, his bar switched to white for a few seconds as he spoke, before going back to red.

I was about to ignore him when I came up with a better idea. Moving away from Cascade, I motioned for her to stay still, then replied to the raider. “We’re scared, mister, there’s mean creatures out at night,” I said, taking a page out of Cascade’s book and sounding as pitiful and infantile as I could. On her face, I saw extreme confusion, though also the slightest smidge of pride for having taught me something.

I could hear him whispering to somepony next to him, “Told you they’re foals.” Then he raised his voice again, “I’m coming in, and we’ll get you to safety.” The fact that his marker turned white again almost made me want to trust him, but I knew better. Maybe the spell was detecting a change in his demeanor when he was pretending to be nice? Besides, all his buddies were red, and that meant killing them wasn’t wrong. Killing him would also not be wrong.

The door opened, and a silver earth pony buck stepped in. A moment later, I had already added another orifice to this head, shaped exactly like a twenty-two calibre bullet. Immediately after, a huge figure lunged over his corpse. Without hesitation, I slowed time to a crawl with the help of SATS. The large stallion was wearing a metal helmet that covered his entire head, as well as kevlar-reinforced leather barding. I knew that my rounds would not be enough to pierce through thick metal, so I queued two shots to his chest.

Wait, there’s probably a better way to do this. I cancelled both of them and aimed them at his right foreleg instead. He was moving awfully fast, even in slowed time, and I didn’t need to kill him to survive. Though of course I wanted to because I was a bloodthirsty maniac. Shut up, brain, not now. I released the spell, and two bullets hit his leg in slow motion.

Now, the unfortunate part was that this did not stop him in his tracks. As a matter of fact, it only made him slightly stumble. By the time the second shot had fired and the spell ended, he was much too close to me, and I was out of options. Shit.

The next thing I knew, I was slammed to the ground, a hoof the size of half my chest pinning me down. “Gotcha, bitch,” he—correction, she—said. I was tempted to try and grab my rifle again, but what good would it do? She would crush me. Wait, why hasn’t she killed me yet? Not that I was complaining; I enjoyed living. Shut it, brain. Why was I having those silly thoughts now of all times? I couldn’t even try to teleport away—the spell would try to teleport me and her, and she was definitely heavier than I could manage to bring along. It would simply fizzle.

Wait, if she hadn’t killed me, did that mean she wanted to hurt me instead? My mind started racing at all the different ways she could torture me. Cut my legs off. Break my horn. Skin me alive.

My panicking was suddenly interrupted by a gunshot. BLAM! The raider on top of me twitched. BLAM! She turned her head to the left. BLAM! Suddenly, she picked me up, and next thing I knew, I was flying through the air, before landing on a certain grey unicorn. My body erupted in pain, and I tried scrambling to my hooves, but by the time I’d gotten off Cascade, the raider mare had pinned us both to the ground. Then, the back door opened, and came in two more ponies. I noticed another one standing idly in the main door frame.

The mare on top of me growled at them, “Don’t just stand there, dumbfucks, get the chains and collar. And pick up the guns and hide them, you know that horners are a bitch to deal with.” The light blue unicorn walked across the room and disappeared from my field of view.

The olive green earth pony replied, “But she just killed Snowy!”

“So? I don’t give a fuck about your buckfriend. Pick up their shit already, we don’t have all day. We’ll talk about it later,” barked my captor.

Olive—I decided I would refer to her that way until I knew her name—groaned, but started walking around the room. Then, the unicorn came back, his green telekinesis levitating a chain and shackles which he quickly put on both my right legs. He then did the same for Cascade, who was mortified. “Boss? What do we do about her PipBuck?”

“It’ll sell quite well, but we need specialised tools to get it off, you idiot. Leave it be,” replied Boss, her voice still confusing me. Was she a mare or a stallion? Not. Important. Stop the useless thoughts, brain. Get me a plan out of here.

Meanwhile, the other pony walked around the room, presumably picking up our equipment, then she took our saddlebags from us. To my dismay, red liquid was seeping out of mine, though given the severity of our situation, I couldn’t muster much emotion at the loss of my wine. I hadn’t been very sad the past few days, so intoxication hadn’t been necessary anyway. And it’s not like I need to be drunk to have useless thoughts plague my brain at critical moments.

Afterwards, the unicorn came back, levitating a metallic… collar? “Uh, Bricks—I mean, Boss—which do I put it on?”

Bricks—fitting name—replied, “Do I really need to explain everything to you Luna-damn morons? Brown one, obviously. She seems more feisty and is probably worth less caps with all those scars anyway, so blowing her up won’t be as big a loss.” But I’m pink! Though of course, my fur was in fact brown from the dust and dirt. Didn’t mean I had to like it. Why am I thinking about this? This is the least of my worries at the moment!

The unicorn clicked the collar around my neck, and Bricks turned to Cascade and I. “In case you don’t know, that thing’s an explosive collar. You piss me off, your head takes a trip away from your body. So of course, when you get up, you’ll be nice and obedient, and walk out of this shack. Preferably without chatter or any other horseshit.” That could be a bluff, but given that I was already in chains, I doubted I would get far even if it was. Getting up, she attached the frontmost hoofcuff in the chain to her own right hind leg. Great, now escaping got even harder.

Unfortunately for me, the chains were so tightly clamped around my hooves that the teleportation spell would definitely pick them up as part of me. There had to be a way around this flaw, but I couldn’t exactly experiment while being watched closely by these raiders. I wanted to ask what they were going to do with us, but I didn’t want to risk their ire.

As we were getting ready to leave, I was ordered to take off my jumpsuit. I really didn't like leaving it behind, given that it was the last thing I still had that Candy had given me. If I survived this, I would come back for it, then get it repaired and fitted for my growing body. I didn’t dare ask why, but I suspected they didn’t want me to hide anything underneath it.

A few minutes of trotting on the dry dirt later, Olive said to Bricks, “By the way, Snowy was not my buckfriend, but I’m still pissed I lost him.”

“Yeah, so?” deadpanned Bricks.

“Well, I want to rough her up. Bitch has it coming.”

“Fuck, you’re such a retard.” Bricks sighed. “Look, I get it you’re new to the business, but you need to use your head sometimes. A half-dead slave sells for less than a healthy one, and especially when you’re starting out, you can’t just damage goods. Even more so when you’re sharing profits with others.” Come to think of it, she was extremely well-spoken for a raider, even with her constant swearing and anger issues.

“But there’s no way she’s worth a lot! She’s weak, old, and doesn’t even look good. There’s no way anypony would pay a lot for her. Her friend, on the other hoof, is young enough to be groomed into a perfect slave and seems healthy enough.” I looked at Cascade, whose horrified expression sent a chill down my spine. These ponies weren’t just raiders, they were slavers. I felt stupid for having needed so much time to come to that realisation.

“I said no, dipshit. That should be reason enough, because if I get pissed, I squash your skull like a melon. The other reason is that there’s more to a good slave than that, and you don’t know for sure if she wouldn’t sell well. I have been in this business much longer than you, and even I’m rarely completely sure. So shut your mouth and keep trotting,” she said dangerously.

I felt incredibly guilty for getting us into this mess. When leaving Manehattan, we’d had two options. Either head west-southwest towards New Appleloosa and Ponyville, southwest towards Dodge Junction and the desert surrounding it. Southeast was out of the question, given that it was where Fillydelphia could be found. South was Hoofington, and that even I knew to avoid it at all cost—I’d heard enough bad things about the region to form a healthy fear of it. North was out of the question as well, for alicorn-related reasons. Cascade wanted to head for Dodge Junction, while I really wanted to see the historic site of Ponyville, despite the threat of the town of Old Appleloosa. In the end, I’d insisted we would give the slaver town a wide berth, and she finally agreed. It turned out that said berth had not been wide enough.

Several hours later, I was ready to collapse from exhaustion, panting heavily and trying desperately to keep up with the group. Suddenly, the chain tugged on my leg. I was lagging behind, and I knew what this meant. I’d learned the hard way what slowing down the group led to.

I braced myself, and sure enough, the whip cracked and my back was lit on fire. Even when I was expecting it, the pain was still excruciating. If things went according to plan, I would pay him back thousandfold. Eyes filling with tears, I bit my lip, trying my hardest to not make a sound. I couldn't give him the satisfaction, and it would make my revenge even sweeter. Maybe I could even shoot his horn off when I got the opportunity.

For a short moment, I envied Cascade; she’d only gotten whipped once. One glance back at her, however, told me how utterly terrified she was. I felt bad for her and for thinking she had it better than me. Yeah, she’d been hurt less, but she wasn’t as strong as me. I needed to help her as soon as possible.

Thankfully, the flaming agony had gotten some adrenaline into my system, and the soreness in my legs couldn't begin to compare with what my back made me feel. It was then, to my big surprise, Bricks spoke up, "We should stop for the night." As two of the other slavers protested—the third looked pleased with the decision—she added, "Look, we won't get to Appleloosa today, and this little cunt might die on us if we keep pushing her. What's more precious to you, caps or a few hours of your life?" to which the olive earth pony and the blue unicorn reluctantly agreed. I briefly envied his coat colour; despite being light, the hue was pronounced enough to clearly shine through the dirt, unlike mine. Why am I still hung up on this?

Pushing aside that insignificant thought, I sighed in relief. Maybe I'd get to talk to Cascade a little while we rested. During the trip, I'd tried asking her if she was alright, but Blue had immediately yelled at me, threatening with his whip. Stars, how I wanted to kill him here and now. But I needed to wait a bit longer, at least until they all went to bed.

They started setting up camp. For them, a small tent was put up. I briefly wondered how Bricks would even fit in there. For us, a dirty blanket was laid out on the ground, about ten metres away. A stake was hammered into the dirt, and our chain attached to it. It was something I could simply pull out, though.

However, this added to my worry that only three of them would sleep while the fourth would stay on guard. Ideally, it would be Bricks. I needed to take her out before I even attempted to kill the other three, since even once I got a weapon, such small bores would just bruise her in head- on combat. I still needed to figure out the details of my plan. Them sleeping in a tent would make it a little bit more difficult, as it would make it harder to see them. Maybe I could use it to my advantage, though…

They cooked and ate a stew made from canned vegetables and, to my surprise, meat. Cascade and I got barely edible oatmeal. After the last of them had emptied his bowl, Bricks got their attention. Despite how far from us the group was, I could still understand her clearly. "We'll depart as soon as it's bright enough to see, so in roughly eleven hours, maybe sooner. We'll do four shifts. Bark gets the first three hours, Bones'll do three afterwards, then me, and finally…" she turned to Olive, "you'll do the rest. Good night."

Olive muttered under her breath, “Fucking dick still can’t remember my name…”

Luckily for her, Bricks was too far away to hear her. The large mare was lying down on the dirt. I couldn’t see her eyes, but I could only assume they were closed. So that’s why their tent is so tiny; she just sleeps outside of it.

This wasn't great, but it was also far from terrible. I would need to wait until she was woken up by… Bones. That's probably the most raider name I've heard since I left Four, fitting for the pony who spent the day whipping my back raw. The difficult part would probably be staying awake until then. Just in case, I could set an alarm and claim it was an accident, but I didn't like relying on it, since it might give away my plan.

Nevertheless, once Olive—I still didn't know her name, but apparently neither did Bricks—and Bark disappeared in the tent, I turned away and set an alarm seven hours from now, as a failsafe. Still, I needed to avoid falling asleep. Time passed slowly, and my eyelids were heavy. Luckily, my back was still hurt enough that I could focus on that. From time to time, I would roll to my other side and wince at the pain that spread in my back. This jolt of pain helped me stay awake when I was starting to get drowsy.

Bark mostly ignored me, but the look I could see on her face was that of regret. Eventually, the first shift ended, and Bones left the tent. Unlike his predecessor, not even thirty minutes into his shift, Bones got angry at me. Quiet as to not wake anypony up, he spat, "Would you stop fucking squirming? It's annoying!"

"Well, sorry that somepony whipped my back raw today. I can't fucking sleep like this," I retorted, imagining turning his head into paste. Oh, how I couldn’t wait.

"You want me to help you sleep? I'll knock you the fuck out and then you'll sleep juuuust fine," he threatened.

"You do that, then good luck surviving Bricks' anger, idiot." Provoking him was part of my new plan. If I got him to hit me, the adrenaline would wake me up further. And I really hated his guts, so talking back to him was cathartic.

He walked over to my blanket, towering over me. Then, with no warning, he bucked me in the ribs, and my eyes watered as I held back a yelp. "You'll regret talking shit tomorrow." And you won't, because you'll be dead by then, shithead. I really need to stop swearing so much, even when I'm just thinking. Brings me down to their level. He turned away again, on the lookout. Apparently, the shifts weren’t to just watch over Cascade and I, but for outside threats as well.

I took solace in the fact that he was just playing into my master plan. Though he didn’t give me much time to bask in my little semi-victory as he faced me again and said, “You’re just lucky I’m not into mares.”

The implications took me a few moments to process, but when I finally realised what he meant, my mind was drawn to… a certain part of my past. I swiftly bit my lip and pushed my thoughts elsewhere. “Oh hey, looks like this threat in particular worked,” said Bones. “You okay there, lil miss trauma?” Okay, good, keep being a piece of shit. Fantasising about ripping your head off is much better than thinking about my father—no! Shut up. Back to Bones and murdering him. I would cut open his stomach and rip out his innards one by one.

“So yeah, you better stop squirming and pissing me off, or I’m waking Bricks up and he’ll take care of you.” Wait, Bricks was a he? And somepony his size, it would hurt like—No! I don’t wanna think about it! But my mind wouldn’t stop, flashing memory after memory of my time in the stable. I forced myself to think about something else… Candy! No, that was bad, too. I could feel the tears welling up, and before they could start flowing, I turned on my other side, wincing at the pain in my back and side. Bones gave a low, sadistic laugh.

A part of me wanted to just let myself go right then and there… Just let myself sleep this off and deal with the consequences later. Tomorrow I’d feel better. I’d no longer be in pain, and I’d no longer think about those awful things. Or maybe I’d just get a short break. I could just give up, couldn’t I?

Well, no. If I let myself sleep now, I’d most likely die within a week or two from now. This was just walking. I’d have to work for entire days, if the conversations I’d overheard were correct. I would pass out from exhaustion and die. Then again… maybe dying would be a good relief from being whipped daily. And I wouldn’t have to think about all those bad things again—What am I thinking? Candy didn’t sacrifice herself so that I could just… let myself die.

All I needed to do was stay awake until Bricks’ shift, and I was doing a good job so far.

Eventually, after another three excruciatingly boring hours, the shift change finally happened, and Bones disappeared into the tent. I still needed to give him time to fall asleep. If I counted thirty to forty-five minutes, that would be perfect. I was finally nearing the end of this tunnel.

Surprising me yet again, Bricks whispered—just the fact that he could whisper was already a big shock—“Can’t sleep?” His tone was strikingly gentle and articulate. Or maybe I’m just imagining things out of pure exhaustion.

Naturally, I felt the need to snark back at the pony who could crush me with one hoof, “Surprisingly, it turns out it’s fairly difficult to fall asleep when your back has been whipped raw.” I regretted my words as they left my muzzle, though I hoped he would be reasonable and not, as he’d phrased it, break the merchandise.

He simply gave a quiet chuckle, dumbfounding me. “Yeah, sorry about that. Bones went a bit overboard. I can’t blame him, though. He’s pretty new to this. But I can see how you’d hate him for that.” What kind of raider is this guy?

“You might not, but I certainly can blame him.” Why am I making small talk with a raider? This has got to be the weirdest day of my life. Is he even a raider? At this point I don’t even know anymore.

“I suppose that’s fair.” “Suppose”? What kind of raider says “suppose”‽ “I wonder, do you hate me as well? I’d understand if you did, but from my end, it’s just business, and nothing personal.”

Of course I hate you, I thought, I want to kill you. But then it hit me, and I understood his reasoning. “I suppose I don’t hate you, but I wouldn’t hesitate to kill you to escape, or even for just a hoofful of caps.” And I will do the former.

“Oh, it’s rare I get a sensible response like that. Usually ponies yell that ‘of course they hate me’. I wasn’t expecting to have someone who understands me here.”

“I mean, you need to survive somehow. I can’t blame you for making caps the way you do, though I hope you’re prepared to face the consequences of your line of work.” This was the best way to subtly threaten him.

“Exactly!” He fell quiet for a few seconds. “Damn, it’s a shame I caught you as a slave. Having somepony as clear-headed as you would be amazing for my work.”

I could feel a smug grin on my face. “Heh, thanks. While we’re doing compliments, I’m surprised you’re so eloquent; you’ve definitely shattered my expectations.”

“Yeah. Apologies for the earlier display, by the way. Lowlives like them tend to be fairly… unappreciative of proper speech manners.” Now he was just showing off, but I could appreciate it nonetheless. It wasn’t anything impressive by stable standards, but for a wastelander, and especially a slaver, it very much was. He paced a little, presumably to add weight to his words. “I’ve only now realised I don’t know your name. Pray tell. I am Bricks, but I’m certain you’ve already figured that out.” Okay, too much of a good thing.

“I’m Iron Sights.” Soon after leaving Manehattan, I decided to pick up my new name. The reasons were varied. Part of it was that I wanted to no longer be reminded of my father or the stable. Another was that I’d entered a new chapter in life, and it felt appropriate to leave behind that name. Yet another reason was that it made me stand out. Finally, it just made more sense with my current cutie mark—after all, many ponies adopted a new, more fitting name after they found their true calling in life.

“Well, Miss Sights, I wish I could have met you in more favourable circumstances. You seem like quite an interesting pony,” he admitted, scratching his chin.

“You know, you could always release me and take me under your wing.” He would likely not let me free Cascade. I would miss her, yes, but her presence was something I was willing to trade for my own freedom. I probably should feel a little bit more guilty when considering selling out my acquaintance for my own freedom. Or was she a friend? Not that it was relevant.

“I could, but I need to train my underlings. Besides, I cannot simply release slaves, no matter the personal gains. It would be… quite unprofessional,” he rebutted calmly.

“Wouldn’t it be a wise investment to hire somepony competent, like me, instead of those buffoons?” This hadn’t been my original plan, but if I managed to escape without having to fight four on one—especially given the size and toughness of one of them—that would be even better.

“Tempting, but no. I’m sorry, but useless as they may be, three of them is still deadlier than one of you. I don’t need another henchpony.”

In a mix of desperation and pride, I bluffed. Well, it’s not exactly a bluff since it’s backed by an actual plan. “In that case, I’ll just have to escape on my own.”

He walked over to me and leaned in. “Huh. You’re serious,” he said. “Interesting. If you told me about it, you likely don’t plan on escaping while nopony’s looking.” He tilted his head. “Which means your plan involves killing us. While I don’t think you would manage to do that, you probably do have an ace up your sleeve.” I couldn’t help but smirk some more. Stop that! “You know what? I’m nothing if not a betting stallion. Here’s my idea. If you manage to kill my underlings and keep me alive, I’ll partner up with you. I won’t let you, but if you put my life in actual danger, I’ll surrender without hesitation. Deal?”

Over the course of our conversation, he’d trotted away far enough that even though he was looking at me, I was comfortable making my move. I only had one shot, and I wouldn’t mess it up. I knew I could do this, I’d practiced more than enough. Taking a deep breath, I wrapped the collar around my neck in telekinesis, spreading my aura wherever I could touch. Lifting it away from me, I channeled a teleportation spell, focusing on the collar instead of myself.. Before he even understood what was happening, the collar reappeared around his armoured neck.

Victoriously, I snapped the detonator from his saddlebags. “Deal.”

“Alright, I’m glad we made that deal,” he said. “Glad… and impressed. Now what? You still need to kill my underlings.”

After taking the key from his neck, I undid my shackles and those of Cascade, who had awoken during the commotion. “We’re escaping. Hide behind that rock,” I said, pointing to a boulder next to the road, “and don’t make a sound.” She nodded and started trotting. With her back turned to me, I was able to notice the angry wounds from the whip. If that was how hers looked after just three or four lashings, how badly was I hurt?

Turning my attention away from her and back to the task at hoof, I opened his saddlebags and found… a grey box. By its looks, it reminded me of a weapon… just not a normal one. Picking up with my telekinesis, I could feel pent up magical energy inside, likely ready to power a talisman. I twirled it around—careful to not point the side that sort of looked like a barrel towards myself—and eventually found what looked like a trigger. Oddly enough, the built-in safety mechanism was a simple on-off switch—which for some reason had been left on.

I gave Bricks a confused look. “What? I just don’t like the smell of gunpowder.” So it was a replacement for a regular pistol.

There was only one way to be sure how to fire it. I aimed it at the tent and pressed what I presumed to be a trigger. Simultaneously, the gun glowed red and a square of plastic material burned away. Inside, a pony yelped in pain. It sounded much less painful than a bullet, much to my disappointment.

I swiftly ran over to the tent, eager to get to cover and take advantage of my EFS. Inside, the three of them were scrambling. That, I hoped, was enough to hide the sound of my own movement. It was three on one, after all.

I had no idea how many shots I still had. I certainly hoped more than one, or I would be in deep trouble. Finally, I heard the flap on the other side open. Hushed voices, and one of them started walking towards Bricks and the blanket, revolver in her muzzle. The other two seemed to stay behind cover. “Fuck, they’re gone! What happened, boss?” asked Bark.

Bricks ignored her.

Since she hadn't seen me yet, I took this opportunity to attack first, entering SATS to get a feeling for how quickly the weapon could fire. Surprisingly, I could fire up to a dozen shots with the box pistol. The twenty-six percent probability of hitting his head that the spell estimated wasn't good enough. Eighty three percent for his torso was much better however, so I queued all twelve shots there. Hopefully not all of them would be needed.

As I released the spell, the gun spit out a beam of red light, and the light brown mare seemed to glow in the same colour. As SATS fired the weapon a second time, the crimson shine intensified until consuming her entirely. Before long, all that remained of her was a pile of bright ash. Time returned to normal, and I couldn't help but be impressed by the magical firearm. So clean and efficient. Too bad I like it messy and bloody. Still, in a three on one scenario, I couldn't afford to complain about a gun being too effective.

I noticed a red bar moving behind me, and skipped around the corner to greet Olive with the help of SATS. I queued three shots at her head. All three beams connected, but she didn't melt into dust like her buddy. The flesh on her face had been badly burned, but that didn't prevent her from firing her pistol at me. Pain flared in my side, marginally worse than the bullet wound I'd received in Detrot. I panicked and repeatedly pulled the trigger, missing more than half my shots, but when I finally ran out of ammunition she lay at my hooves, immobile and absent from my EFS. I grabbed her gun in my aura. Nothing could beat good old combustion weaponry.

Wait, where's the other one? To my shock, he was already behind me. I spun around and lost my balance. As I fell, I saw Bones, levitating a shotgun in front of him. Before he had a chance to fire, I'd already teleported behind him, gun pressed to his horn. I pulled the trigger, feeling the unfamiliar recoil of the larger rounds. As the shot echoed through the cool night air, a delightfully sickening crack followed suit. Though it was entirely possible that I imagined it, given how loudly my ears were ringing.

He collapsed, screaming and clutching his horn's sharp stump. I picked up his shotgun and poked him in the side with it. "You know, you're lucky. If you'd come around the other side, I would have had to kill you instead of just incapacitating you." I was also lucky, as this meant that I would be able to whip him like he'd whipped me. Nay, tenfold. My original plan to repay him thousandfold seemed impractical.

"P-p-please, don't kill me!" he begged, voice breaking down into sobs at the end of his sentence. The smell of fresh urine filled the air, simultaneously grossing me out and making me chuckle.

"Are you dumb? I just said I wouldn't kill you. I'm not done with you," I stated flatly. The colder my tone, the more scared he would be.

I undid the whip from his light harness. "I wonder, for how much you seem to enjoy lashing others, have you ever been on the receiving end?" His eyes widened in fear as I channeled enough power into my telekinesis to make sure it would light up the area enough so he could see my face. If my hunch was correct, I was grinning like a crazy pony.

As he cowered before me, I got ready to finally take my revenge. The whip cracked and… hit me in my own back. I bit back any noise that would betray my mistake to my victim. Moving the whip away from myself, I tried again, and he yelped as the tip connected with his back. I chuckled, then hit him once more, and got another miserable squeak from him. The third time, all the stallion did was whimper. Oh, I get it. He was trying to deny me my fun—rather, my revenge.

The whip cracked and was brought down on his back hard enough to draw blood, which glistened beautifully in the light of my horn. I’m getting the hang of this. He muffled a scream, and before he had the opportunity to go quiet, I struck him again. This time, the stallion didn't manage to hold back his cry. "Music to my ears," I told him after my short laugh.

Bones lifted his head from between his hooves, eyes teary. "Fuck you!" he whined. I brought down the whip again, aiming for his head. As the tip struck him across the eye, he howled in pain, clutching his face.

I didn't hit him again immediately, wanting to savour the moment, giggling like a schoolfilly. His sudden bravado seemed to die out as he started sobbing. After a few moments, I got bored and brought down my wrath, to be rewarded with the most exquisite scream, which rekindled my guffaw.

I was about to repeat the motion when Cascade's shrill voice drew me out of my fun. "Iron! Stop this!"

The heck does she want? Oh, I knew. "You'll get your turn soon. What do you say, fourty lashes each?" If I counted the times he'd whipped me, we'd each need to strike him sixty times if we wanted to repay him tenfold. I suspected it would get boring before that, but his suffering was just so… enjoyable for now.

It was then I realised I'd been ignoring Cascade who'd apparently been ranting while I was caught up in thought. "... plain cruel!" She looked at me, angry and expecting a response.

I shook my head. "Sorry, can you repeat all that? I'm not the most awake right now and had my head elsewhere." First shocked, then contemptful, her expression finally turned to annoyance. "Sorry, I've been up all night for our escape."

Offended, she gasped, then sighed and finally spoke up, "I said, you can't just whip him to death just for your revenge. I understand how much it hurt, but do you really want to stoop to his level? I mean, this is plain cruel."

"But I haven't paid him back tenfold yet," I whined with a pout.

"I don't care if you—you know what? If you hurt him again, I'll leave. You're a nice travel partner, but I want no part in this. If you want to… torture this buck, it's without me."

Why was she so bent on forgiving this guy? He'd hurt us both and deserved no pity. "Fine," I ceded, "I'm too tired to argue with you about this. We'll chain him up and decide what to do tomorrow."

Cascade gave a sigh of relief, and we attached the two stallions together. This way would hopefully prevent them from trying to rebel against us, if the threat of the explosive collar and guns didn't deter them enough already. We lay down in the tent, reclaiming our belongings and bandaging each other's backs, as well as my wound. The bullet hadn’t hit any important organs, barely scraping through muscle and out the other side, but stars, did it hurt. Finally, we were able to go to sleep.

Entering the settlement of New Appleloosa, I looked towards Cascade, who averted her gaze. Ever since the incident with Bones, five days ago, she’d been very cold towards me. At first, she had completely refused to talk to me, but after unchaining the two stallions and letting them walk free, the filly had finally confronted me.

It turned out Cascade really hadn’t liked my revenge, and especially not how much I’d enjoyed it. After realising I’d decided to spare both of them, she’d mellowed out a little, though I could tell I was on thin ice, especially since she’d overheard my conversation with Bricks. That didn’t matter anymore; the past was in the past, and if she wanted to stay upset about it, that was her choice, not mine. Still, I hope she gets over herself soon, it gets boring alone. Then again, I could always travel with Bricks…

The stallion had informed me that if I ever wanted to team up, he was available in Old Appleloosa. I’d refused the deal because Cascade didn’t like him, and because I didn’t know how trustworthy he was; I didn't like worrying about getting a bomb collar put around my neck.

I nodded at her, and we split up. I’d given all of our surplus weapons to my companion for her to sell, except the shotgun. She was to find more ammunition for that one. She didn’t want me around vendors, for she claimed that ever since I’d regained my memories, I’d lost my pitiful child look. She couldn’t explain what exactly it was, but she didn’t want me near her when she tried to barter. I didn’t mind, since that gave me some time to rest. On what had once been a playground, I sat down on a bench.

Though I had to admit, the way she’d looked at me still hurt. Nevermind, now I’m alone with my thoughts. So much for resting. The unique mix of confusion, contempt, and shock that had adorned her face would stick with me for a while. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me. I knew there was, but it pained me a lot more than it should. I’d been raised to be an overmare, there couldn’t possibly be anything wrong with me!

No, denial would not get me anywhere. I couldn’t really understand why I was this way, but I knew for a fact that how much I enjoyed hurting others could not possibly be normal. Or maybe it was, and everypony else was just much better at suppressing those feelings? I would need to ask Cascade about it later. Maybe there were even books on the subject?

Still, even if that were the case—which seemed fairly likely, in hindsight—it still meant I had issues with self-restraint. When everything was calm, such as now, I had no problem thinking I wouldn’t ever do it again, but in the heat of the moment, it was much too easy to just slip into this mindset, especially after I’d already scored a kill. Once I started having fun, it was hard to get me to stop.

Wait, maybe there wasn’t anything wrong with me, and I was just… different? That theory seemed sound until I considered what Candy had told me about killing other ponies. Why was it always so fun to blow somepony’s brains out of their skull if it was so wrong? Maybe it was alright to enjoy killing somepony if it was necessary for my own survival? After all, Cascade had told me stealing to survive wasn’t wrong, despite my initial hunch. It had to be the same for murder, right? But if murder wasn’t wrong when done to survive, was it bad that I took pleasure in it? I mean, since it’s necessary, there’s no point denying myself some fun.

Wait a second—I’d never heard Candy tell me stealing was wrong, so how did I figure that out? It wasn’t exactly an obvious matter. This could only mean that amnesia-stricken me had a different thought process to my own, one that allowed me to understand morality.

I groaned. Why did my life have to be so complicated? What I’d give to be a normal stable filly. Or a normal wastelander, like the ponies living in Manehattan, or like… this stallion and his friend.

The reddish brown unicorn that had just entered my field of view wore some light armour as well as saddlebags. What really caught my eye was the rifle strapped to his back. Well, maybe it’s more of a carbine. As he came closer, I was able to make out more details. It was far from the varmint rifle I was so used to seeing; it was somewhat shorter, had a metal ribbon loop back around from the barrel, and had a much more intricate pair of iron sights. Most importantly, the magazine was much bigger, allowing for longer cartridges. Roughly two and a half, maybe three times longer. I didn’t know ammunition very well, so I didn’t have any good guesses for the type it required.

Still, a cartridge this big had to be better at getting through armour than what I currently used. As much as I didn’t like admitting it, neither of my guns were suited to taking down an armoured opponent like Bricks. The rifle simply lacked the punch, while the shotgun’s pellets were individually too small to have much of an impact. Slugs might fix that problem, but the firearm still wouldn’t be very accurate at longer distances. Not to mention, those were expensive and heavy.

Still; I couldn’t deny their effectiveness in close quarters, like I found myself in a few days ago. Maybe I didn’t need a new rifle, just better ammunition for my shotgun. What if I need to take out somepony from afar? It was then I realised that the metal ribbon was something I recognised from the Mechanical Marvels; a pipe to reuse the pressure from the gunpowder’s explosion. This was a semi-automatic, or possibly even fully automatic weapon! I definitely needed a gun like this if I wanted to survive the wasteland.

I needed this gun in particular; who knew how many slavers I would encounter prior to being able to finally get my horn on a beauty like her? Though stealing it from him would be difficult, as they had noticed me staring. Forcing myself to look away, I tried thinking up a plan. There was no way he wouldn’t notice if it just disappeared off his back. Maybe I could kill him for it? Even though it was wrong, I was just putting my own life and needs above that of others, wasn’t I? It wasn’t wrong if I needed this rifle to survive… right?

This brought another problem to the surface. How would I even go about ending him? It wasn’t like they wouldn’t notice me drawing my gun, and they had plenty of cover in the ancient playground.

Wait, what am I doing? Should I really be killing ponies for their guns? the part of me concerned with being normal protested, but I pushed those concerns aside. I needed this rifle if I wanted to ensure my survival. It didn’t matter if I was normal, if it meant getting to live.

Though I still needed to avoid getting myself killed by those two ponies. I was still exhausted from the wounds I’d sustained from the slavers—apparently, healing magic made one very tired. That would be counterproductive. While I was thinking about my options, a plan formed in my mind, out of desire to prove Cascade wrong.

Walking towards the strangers, I forced myself to think about Candy and how much I missed her. “H-hello,” I muttered. I would show her. I could be pathetic if I wanted to be! They would pity the heck out of me!

“Uh, hey,” began the unicorn stallion, obviously put off by my appearance. Good start.

Before he could continue, the mare next to him interrupted, “I’m sorry, but we don’t have anything we could afford to give you.”

“N-no, I don’t want anything physical. It’s just…” I lowered my gaze, “I got this rifle from my sister, and I don’t know how to use it properly.” I dug at the ground a little, trying to seem awkward. I was thankful for my tattered jumpsuit for covering my cutie mark—good thing I’d insisted we go back for the piece of clothing.

Unconvinced, the mare raised an eyebrow. “So? Can’t you just ask her?” Damn it, read between the lines, you heartless wench. I prayed to the stars that my annoyance wasn’t readable on my face.

“N-no… she died. S-she t-tried to p-protect me from a slaver and was thrown off a building in Manehattan, and all I could do was run away.” I now had genuine tears running down my face. My mother had told me the best way to sell a lie was to base it off the truth. Here, the lie was more believable than the truth. Who would believe a story about an evil alicorn anyway?

“Oh, sweet Celestia, I’m so sorry little one,” she said, hugging me. Even though she had nothing to do with him, the unwanted physical contact reminded me of my father, and I instinctively recoiled and cowered. As much as I hated this weak side of me, I was determined to use it. I whimpered. I badly wanted to shred her throat with buckshot, but I repressed my urges. Thankfully, the mare picked up on my body language and backed off. “Oh my, you poor thing. So young and yet…”

Her companion stepped in and looked me in the eyes. “Would you like me to teach you?” he asked.

Holding back my smile, I nodded. “P-please. I don’t know how long I’ll live if I don’t learn how to use it.”

He gave me a warm smile. “I’m Bullseye, by the way. What’s your name?”

I almost introduced myself by my new name, but decided against it, as it might rouse suspicion. “Iron Sonata.”

“Well, Iron Sonata, let’s find some trees to shoot at. It’s good that you’re a unicorn, ‘cause I have no idea how to aim properly using muzzleguns, but I can give you a lot of pointers for shooting with a horn.”

As we walked, the mare stayed next to me while Bullseye led the way. While she didn’t seem to be actively doubting me, she was still glancing at me occasionally. If I undid my rifle now, she would get suspicious, and things might not go according to plan.

Finally, after less than ten minutes, we arrived near a small patch of trees. Roughly fifty metres away from the closest trees, the stallion unharnessed his own firearm. “I can’t teach you to be a sniper, but I can show you the basics, and if you keep practicing, one day you might become as good as me. Just look.” He fired shot after shot of the semi-automatic rifle. His aura wasn’t very stable, and he wasn’t controlling the recoil very well.

Now was a good time to set my plan into motion. I levitated my gun off my back and slipped into SATS, queuing a shot at the back of his head, and one to the mare’s, and executed the spell. As the first bullet fired and hit him, killing the stallion instantly, her expression barely had time to change to shock as the spell switched targets, ending her life as swiftly as his. As time resumed its normal speed, both corpses fell to the ground.

Satisfied with my work, I took their belongings and walked back to the playground, where I spent time marvelling at the gun and looking through their saddlebags. As I’d suspected, the bullets it fired were the same size as the ones from my varmint rifle, but the cartridges as a whole were much bigger, containing several times more powder. Surely, this wouldn’t have too much issue penetrating light armour.

Piece by piece, I dismantled the rifle, at least as far as I could get without unscrewing anything; I preferred leaving that until later, when I knew I would have the time to put it back together. Inspecting the individual parts, I was able to recognise certain mechanisms I remembered drooling over—figuratively—when reading my firearms book. In hindsight, I regretted not looking into my pistol in the same way, since it likely had a similar system. Could I really be blamed that rifles were so much cooler than muzzleguns?

Cartridges were ejected and reloaded through gas operated direct impingement, meaning that the high pressure gas from the gunpowder’s explosion was directly used to push back the bolt carrier. Unfortunately, this way of doing things caused residue to accumulate in the receiver. Luckily, I enjoyed disassembling and cleaning guns enough that this wouldn’t become an issue. Rifles are so cool.

Just when I started inspecting the bolt, a white bar appeared on my EFS. I turned around to spot Cascade walking towards me.

She was screaming at me. “You murdered these two ponies‽ What the fuck is wrong with you‽” I thought she would be proud when I told her how I’d tricked them, instead she was just furious. I’d expected some backlash, given everything, but I’d assumed she would understand that I didn’t do this for fun.

“Didn’t you tell me I should look out for my survival? I needed this rifle!” I responded, partly matching her volume and tone. How dare she get mad at me?

She opened her mouth and yelled, “You…!” After a short silence, she lowered her tone, “You’re evil. I don’t know how I convinced myself that somepony with your moral compass could be anything but. I thought you were my best bet for surviving, but I think I’d rather die than spend another moment with you. You disgust me.”

As she walked away, I started after her. “Don’t follow me,” she snarled. I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at her in disbelief, petrified and unable to focus the cacophony of thoughts in my mind.

As she trotted towards the town, I was finally able to process what had just happened. Anger flared. How dare she? How dare she? I was going out of my way to ensure not just my survival, but also hers, and she just called me disgusting‽

Before I even realised it, I was already aiming down my varmint rifle. I aligned both iron sights with her head, and started pulling the trigger.

What was I doing? Killing her wouldn’t accomplish anything; at best it would vent my current rage, but it wouldn’t fix her thinking and change her mind.

Did that matter, though? She’d be gone, regardless of if I shot or not. I could win her back if I gave her time, and understood what she didn’t like about this situation. Though that would require effort. Why would I make an effort to win back a cold bitch that’s unwilling to discuss anything? No, Cascade was not worth my time, and she would die for it.

Isn’t killing wrong, though? was the thought that made me release the trigger. Candy would have been disappointed for me even considering this option. Stars, she might even disagree with my decision to kill Bullseye. What if that wasn’t the only solution to my equipment issue? Would that make my actions… wrong?

What did “wrong” even mean, here? Was it just another word for abnormal? But then, did that mean murder was alright as long as it wasn’t seen by anypony judgmental?

While I was thinking about this, Cascade had disappeared behind a building. This settles that, I supposed. Still, I wished I could understand the reason why killing somepony was “wrong”, but in the end, my best bet was to follow Candy’s advice. She’d been the kindest pony I knew.

Eventually, as my emotions cooled down, I was extremely glad that I hadn’t killed Cascade. Despite everything, I was sad she was gone. I would have felt even worse if I’d murdered her. Stars, what kind of shitty pony would shoot her friend because she made her angry? Just the reminder that I’d been a few millimetres from ending her life disgusted me.

Why was I so much more upset at the thought of killing somepony who’d deeply hurt me, but hadn’t felt a shred of remorse when murdering two completely innocent ponies, who just happened to be naïve enough to buy my act?

I found an abandoned shack and uncorked a bottle of wine.

Footnote:

New Perk: Lone Wanderer I — Who needs friends, anyway? When adventuring without a companion, you take 10% less damage and carry weight increases by 30.

Author's Note

And here it is, the end of arc 1. If you've managed to get this far without dropping the fic, you have my genuine thanks. I can't promise that arc 2 will be an immediate jump in quality, but overall it's a lot better.

Chapter 11 — Iron Sights

Part Two

Chapter 11: Iron Sights

“Aha!” I shouted triumphantly, pressing the terminal’s enter key. The device beeped and refused my password, while the gadget I’d plugged into it read ‘6/16 match’. I groaned loudly. “Ponyfeathers.” This had been my last attempt before the device needed to be reset, and clearly my guess had been way off. Though I was now fairly confident that the password ended in ‘123456’. I clicked the button to power-cycle the machine; it was faster than waiting five minutes for the internal timer to run out, and I really didn’t want to risk getting locked out.

At least this short wait period gave me some time to relax. This was the… eleventh terminal I was breaking into today. At least the job paid well, despite being so tiring. Then again, I’d gotten a terrible night’s sleep, so that probably also explained why I was messing up so much today. The terminal beeped happily as it completed its reboot. Come on, just a bit more work, then you can rest, I encouraged myself, even though I knew I still had a lot of work to do. I looked at the sheet of paper in front of me keeping track of my attempts. Could it be…? I typed ‘ilovebooks123456’, and the terminal unlocked.

I simultaneously felt happy that I finally cracked this nightmare of a terminal and frustrated beyond belief at the smooth-brained pony who’d made this their password. Whatever, they were long dead. I was also a little mad at myself for having needed so much time cracking this easy password.

I skimmed through the mail entries. Most threads felt like simple workplace drama—something I couldn’t care less about. Starting to lose hope of finding anything interesting at all and bracing myself for another annoyingly difficult terminal to hack, I spotted one interesting subject line; ‘Maintenance access’. Come on, come on, come on! I pleaded, opening the conversation. Reading the first message diagonally, my eyes stopped on “Can you reset my password for the mainframe? It locked me out after some typos…” I skipped to the next message.

“I swear, this hotel would fall apart without me. I've reset your password to ‘ccTME6U52CjjYntF’. You should change it to something I don't know. And yes, I do know that 'ilovebooks12345' is your current password on your personal terminal. Change it too. Your username hasn't changed." So she’d just added a single six?

Progress! With this, there was a chance I could log into the mainframe now. I first needed to find this employee’s name and by extension his or her identifying number. That should be fairly simple. I typed the command to retrieve their username, and the machine replied ‘rose_charm’.

Thankfully I’d already copied over the list of employees from the terminal manager’s own machine. I went one page back in my notebook. “R, r, r…” I muttered while skimming the list. “Ha! Rose Charm. Employee ID… 73”.

Finally, I ran the program that all the terminals in the hotel had installed on them, selecting ‘Connect to mainframe’. ‘Enter EmployeeID’. 73. ‘Enter Password’. ccTME6U52CjjYntF. ‘Incorrect username or password’. So she had changed it. Luckily for me, I figured she had been the type of pony to use the same everywhere.

I tried again. ‘Enter Password’. ilovebooks123456. ‘Welcome, rose_charm_73’.

Bingo! Now all I had to hope for was that Rose Charm had sufficient privileges to manage the tower’s talismans; that had been what I’d been hired to do, after all. Although, even if she didn’t—or he, but with a name like that I figured Rose Charm was a mare—having any kind of direct access to the mainframe would significantly improve my odds of obtaining the root password. Hacking directly into it had already been attempted by my employer.

Unfortunately for me, the terminal then continued, ‘Hardware related error. Reboot required. If the problem persists, please contact a licensed RobronCo technician.’ I confirmed with a stroke of the enter key, and the connection reset.

Damn, that meant I needed to find a way inside the room. Doctor, the ghoul who was paying me to do this, probably had the key, but I didn’t want to waste any more time than necessary, and finding the old buck and getting back here would have taken at least ten minutes, which was almost definitely longer than it would take to pick the door open. Come to think of it, I did like the idea of relaxing with a nice lock to work on after spending half a day hacking terminals…

The door leading to the mainframe was in the middle of the corridor. I pressed its handle, and, unsurprisingly, it stayed closed. Levitating out my pick and flathead screwdriver, I took a peek inside the lock. A seven wafer tumbler lock. Not a breeze, but well within my capabilities. I applied torque and scrubbed the pins several times. As expected from a proper lock, it didn’t immediately give in, though it did provide me a good feel for it. After taking a few moments to slowly fidget with the lock, picking each wafer individually, I had it open.

It really wasn’t any challenge, but the simplicity of the task was a welcome change of pace from hacking terminals.

I’d actually taken up an interest in the latter once I’d realised it was overall similar to picking locks. On top of that, doors with purely electronic controls existed, and getting them open was something I sometimes needed to do as a prospector. If I was to specialise in opening doors, best know how to open most kinds.

Back to work. I inspected the mainframe. I had no way of knowing it was running other than for a few blinking lights. The main control terminal’s screen was non-responsive. Thus, I decided to forcefully shut it off, then turn it back on. Hopefully that wasn’t too crude of a way of rebooting a mainframe. It appeared to be the only one I had anyway. I gave it a few minutes to finish initialising; I wasn’t very knowledgeable in larger computers, but that should be enough.

Rather pleased with myself, I returned to the terminal I’d left logged in. Running the remote management program again, I was pleased to find no error messages upon login. Unfortunately, it turned out that Rose Charm had been the accountant and was only able to edit the ledger. Just my fucking luck.

Still, better than nothing. This opened a vector of attack, as I got to finally start making guesses on the admin password. Finally, the end of this awful day was in sight. All I needed to do was hack this one terminal.

My head throbbed painfully as the mainframe rebooted for the forty-second time this afternoon. After the first three times, I’d figured out it needed between five minutes and fifty-seven seconds and six minutes and three seconds to complete a full power cycle. Even with the generous twenty attempts between each required reset, I still managed to, on average, figure out less than one character per reboot.

It turned out that the vulnerability that was commonly present in remotely managed systems didn’t work on this one, and not only had I spent a lot of time breaking into terminals, all that effort was completely wasted as I needed to attack the root account directly.

To add insult to injury, this absolute sadist of a system administrator had a thirty character password, and it was entirely random, which was most likely why Doctor had claimed it unhackable. Best I could do was guess one character at a time. By the fourth reboot, I’d started taking some time breaking into other terminals, in hopes of finding further hints. Instead, I ended up confirming my worst fears; the root account was the only one with direct access to machinery control, meaning that in order to get the job done, I needed that password, or else I wouldn’t get paid.

The egg timer went off, and it took all my motivation to get off the employee lounge’s couch and walk over to the nearby terminal. I was glad we’d already sold off all the drugs we’d scavenged, along with everything else we’d found, because there was no way I could have resisted the urge to take a Mint-Al with how battered my brain was currently.

Sitting down in front of the terminal, I got to work cracking the last letter of the password. The device kept replying ‘29/30 match’, taunting me. After a few attempts, a delayed wave of guilt at my previous thought hit me. Sweet Celestia, I shouldn’t even think about that kind of stuff. I’d known somepony who almost had her life ruined by Mint-Als—at least according to her cousin. I wondered how she fared now. Last time I saw her… was almost two years ago.

While I didn’t like the fact that she was now working for slavers, I couldn’t really blame her or her cousin for their choice. They were both amazing fighters, and it would have been unfair to judge them too harshly for simply doing what they were good at. How would I feel if somepony considered me ‘bad’ for picking locks?

I wanted to see her again, if only to chat with her and catch up. Although some part of me still hoped she would help me learn to sing. Now that she has a proper job, I don't think she’ll have the time for that. And yet, I couldn’t help how I felt, no matter how silly it was.

Come to think of it, I owed her a lot. Not only had she saved my life on multiple occasions, her harsh words had also been my motivation for working on myself more. While I still couldn’t fight—‘Exact match! Access granted.’ the terminal informed me, momentarily drawing me out of my thoughts. I pushed aside my celebration for now. While I still couldn’t fight, I’d gotten considerably better at staying hidden and not needing to fight. On top of that, seeing someone younger than me act so mature and competent had inspired me to act less childish too. Banter told me that I didn’t need to grow up so fast, but Petal’s reception to my resolve had been positive.

Anyway, “FUCK YEAH!” I screamed, my shrill voice cracking and echoing through the empty ground floor.

“So, mister ‘Doctor’,” Banter told the ancient ghoul, “Lockpick did as you asked, but it turned out the task was much harder than originally described, so we would like to request some extra payment for the effort.”

“Yes, I’ve had time to check out the functionality unlocked by the mainframe,” replied the stallion in an accent that was, as far as I knew, unique to him. It gave him a suave aura, while making his presence even more imposing. The way he pronounced ‘s’ sounds struck me particularly, as if he was threatening us with every phoneme. “Unfortunately, some of the talismans are non-functional, but finding suitable replacements shouldn’t be too difficult.” Turning to me, he said, “You did a splendid job, little one.”

He ended up giving Banter five hundred caps—one hundred and fifty more than originally agreed upon. The high pay had Banter originally very skeptical—it seemed too good for what it was—but as the ghoul explained the difficulty of the task, and how hard he’d been struggling to find somepony willing to do it, the yellow buck eventually agreed it was fair payment.

“You know,” said Petal, “this place is a lot cheaper than Tenpony Tower, and Doctor is clearly trying to copy it. I don’t see why we should try to apply for citizenship there when we could be one of the founding members here.”

“Haven’t you seen the rest of the inhabitants here? I wouldn’t trust half of them to not be ex raiders or bandits. Besides, I took a peek around the fields they have all around here. They may not call them slaves, but those ‘interns’ are clearly held here against their will. I talked to one, and she told me she was only paid in food and shelter, but didn’t even dare mention she wasn’t allowed to leave. The only silver lining is that they seem to be reasonably well-treated, apart from how much they need to work.” Before she could reply, he added, “Besides, we’ve already paid a lot to process all that paperwork back in Manehattan; it’s money we’re not getting back if we cancel out.”

Petal groaned. “You’re right, and I know that. It’s just…” She sighed. “I wish I didn’t have to deal with a conscience. Getting rich seems like an easier endeavour when you’re willing to do bad things and put up with bad ponies.”

“You’re telling me,” he concurred. “Anyway, we should rest today and leave tomorrow at dawn.”

I chimed in, “Still towards Las Pegasus ruins? How long will we be staying? ‘Cause that place gives me the creeps.” I really didn’t like the idea of going back there. The clouds over the crashed ruins of the city always seemed so much darker than anywhere else, and the many shady alleyways never inspired much trust, either.

“The outskirts are fine, it’s just downtown that’s a hell-hole,” Banter corrected. “But I was thinking Manehattan, actually. We’ve made quite a few caps more than I expected, and at this rate I’d hate being robbed and having to give up all that. With what we have, I think we’re in the final stretch for that fourth floor suite that’s for sale.”

I was relieved. Manehattan wasn’t great, but by wasteland standards it stood head and shoulders above other places, like its direct neighbour Fillydelphia. Somnambula had been surprisingly calm as well, but I had a sneaking suspicion it was just because there were so very few ponies here compared to how large the city itself was. Surrounded by emptiness, the town was hard to reach through the desert it was situated in.

Now that Doctor had taken over this region with his ‘unpaid interns’, agriculture was starting to flourish—at least for cloud-covered-wasteland standards. My work on the mainframe allowed him to get clean water on every floor of the hotel, self-repairing walls, and even proper heating. Just that would get a lot of ponies to try to move in, and then, according to his plans, even more to move to the region just for the access to fresh produce.

Banter had asked Doctor for a brief summary of the city’s story—after all, the ghoul had already been old when the megaspells fell; he used to be an archeologist, even. Once a small town at the outskirts of the southern Equestrian desert, it exploded in popularity with tourists in the years leading up to the Great War. Surprisingly, even after the war began, its popularity barely wavered. If anything, according to the ghoul, ponies needed an escape from the daily stress and came here to forget about the war—which was especially effective given how far from all front lines the city was.

With my limited knowledge of history, I didn’t understand why Equestria’s southern border hadn’t been contested by zebras. I wondered if Iron Sonata would know any better, given her education. For a second, I envied her for her upbringing, but immediately felt guilty as I remembered what she’d told us about her father. Granted, I’d had similar issues with my mother, but hers was undoubtedly worse.

I turned my attention to Banter and Petal, who were discussing our route to Manehattan. I almost wanted to ask them to visit Fillydelphia, but every time I’d asked that we see Iron, they denied the request. I simply kept my mouth shut. Maybe once I grew older I could risk going there myself.

I was awoken by Banter, who placed a hoof over my muzzle and whispered, “There’s somepony outside. Couldn’t see his face, but he’s approaching this cabin.” Huh? Why was anypony this far out? The shack was in the middle of a vast stretch of nothing between Somnambula and Dodge Junction. The last small town we’d seen was almost two weeks away. This was especially odd if I considered the fact that we were off the main roads. Not to mention—it was dark outside.

I groggily nodded to Banter, signalling I understood the situation, despite my eyes wanting to close on their own.

“I’ll try to talk with him. Hide and have your gun ready. Petal’s already hidden behind the desk.” I followed his orders, levitating out my 9mm pistol from my saddlebags. I hated using it, but this was an exceptional situation. Luckily for me, I easily fit behind the overturned commode.

My instinct told me this wasn’t a bandit. This part of the wasteland was very scarcely uninhabited, so bandits and raiders were uncommon. Uncommon didn’t imply impossible, however. Even the alternative options weren’t great. Of course, it was entirely possible that this traveller had just accidentally stumbled upon our hideout. Good thing we’d hidden our cart in some nearby brushes. With all these coincidences, it was pretty easy to believe this pony had been actively tracking us, and that wasn’t a pleasant thought in the slightest. My heart was pounding in my chest, so loud I was afraid everypony could hear it.

Whoever this was, we could only hope Banter would be able to talk him down. If not, things would have to end violently, and ideally without any one of us getting hurt. It was three on one, after all. Suddenly, a knock came from the door. If this is a bandit—big ‘if’, my mind insisted—then he’s peaceful enough to knock before attacking. Maybe we were lucky and he just wanted our possessions? In that case we might be able to kill him before it came to that.

“Yes?” Banter cautiously called out.

“I don’t mean any harm,” replied a female voice in a familiar, barely suppressed accent. I knew it from somewhere, just where?

“What do you want? Who are you?” he questioned as my mind tried to place the voice.

“Does the name Iron Sonata ring any bells?” she asked, smugness seeping into her tone. Yes! That explained why I recognised her voice!

Suddenly wide awake, I couldn’t resist the urge to run over to the door and magic it open. Banter tried stopping me, but he was too slow and ended up behind the door. In the night’s dim light stood a figure much taller than I expected, wearing a leather coat. Only when I lifted my gaze was my sudden spike of worry quenched. My eyes met hers—as cold, calculating, and beautiful as ever. I embraced her in a hug, which she only partly reciprocated. This endeavour was made additionally difficult by her large saddlebags.

After a few moments, I let go of her and took a few steps backward. In my peripheral vision, Banter was shaking his head in disapproval. “Iron! Why are you here?” I asked, unable to keep my excitement hidden. On a second glance, I could see her mane had grown back, though was still kept pragmatically short.

“I’ve been tailing you for the better part of four months and finally caught up,” she replied flatly. Normally, those words would have set off panic in my mind, but given who spoke them, they simply sparked confusion.

Raising an eyebrow, I inquired, “Why?”

“I was lonely and wanted to tag along with ponies I actually like,” she answered, mild regret in her voice, along with an undertone of hope.

Lonely? Wasn’t she part of a mercenary group? “So you mean you didn’t like the ponies—or I guess griffins—in Fillydelphia? I can’t blame you, I can’t really be around gruff mercenary types, either. What about Miss Candy, did she stay there?”

Subtly, her eyes turned sad, and my stomach tied itself in a knot. Oh no, don’t give me bad news. “Candy is dead.” The knot squeezed. “Was murdered before we even arrived in Filly, and I never joined them there.”

This couldn’t be true. “M-Miss Candy is… dead? I-is that what you said?” I whimpered, hoping I’d misheard or misunderstood. As she simply nodded, I felt a tear roll down my cheek, and then another. “I’m so sorry. How… did it happen?” She was such a good pony, the embodiment of kindness…I could tell Iron wanted to look away, but she stoically held my gaze. How was she this strong?

She shook her head. “It’s a long story, and I’d rather not talk about it right now. Way too tired and not in the mood to dig up shitty memories. I just wanna collapse,” she admitted, yawning emphatically.

As much as my mind raced at this revelation, I couldn’t stifle my own yawn. Would it be wrong to sleep off the shock? “Good idea,” I concurred, “I wanna go back to bed as well.” I just hope I’ll actually manage to fall asleep, now.

Banter, however, was of a different opinion. “Uh, before that. Could you give us a few minutes and wait outside?” Iron shrugged and closed the door, and the three of us grouped up. Banter continued in a low tone, “Look, I know you like her a lot, but I’m not sure if taking her in is the best idea.”

“What? Why not?” I protested. We couldn’t just make her sleep outside, could we? Then again, she did have a tent on her.

“I have a bad feeling about her,” he explained. “She doesn’t seem trustworthy. Already when we first met, I felt like this filly wasn’t right. Candy Cane seemed honest enough for the two of them, but every time I’ve had a conversation with Iron, it’s gotten worse. I can’t really put it into words, but I can try to list a few reasons why. First of all, did you hear how cold she just sounded when announcing her surrogate sister’s death?”

“Just because she might not show it, doesn’t mean she’s fine and isn’t hurting,” I rebutted before he could go on. “What if she just doesn’t want us to pity her, when the victim here is obviously Miss Candy?”

He sighed begrudgingly. “Whatever. I still don’t believe that, but you raise a good point. However, that doesn’t excuse the fact that she was willing to work for slavers,” he asserted.

“What, should she just waste her talents and never get anything accomplished? You can’t deny that Fillydelphia stallion sounds convincing with his talks of building a new Equestria. The fact that Miss Candy was on board with it means the two believed it would help the wasteland, not mess it up further.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you seriously defending slavery right now, Lockpick?”

“No, but I am saying you’re acting hypocritical. You judge Iron so harshly, yet don’t seem to mind that Miss Candy had similar ideas.” Or maybe you were so in love with her that you would have let her get away with anything, I desperately wanted to say. I knew not to, though, as it would only sour the mood further.

Banter went quiet, looking for words. A rare sight, really. After a few moments, he finally spoke up, “Even so, I’ll always be creeped out by how nonchalantly she mentioned gunning down her father. Just doesn’t sit well with me.”

“You damn hypocrite. You know very well her father deserved what she did to him. If you ask me, he deserved worse. Didn’t you even say it was justified?” By now, I was livid. Why was he so hellbent on painting her as a bad pony?

“I did, but no filly should be that cold when talking about murdering one of her parents. She should at least have shown some shock, anything!” He was no longer trying to keep his voice down, as he practically shouted that last sentence. “It’s the same when she talked about her past. How can a filly be so calm when talking about being raped‽”

“What the fuck do you even know? It’s the same shit as before. You assume you know how she feels based on what she shows. Your parents always treated you well. You’ve never had to hold back tears in front of them, have you‽ Your mother didn’t beat you whenever she got irritated; she didn’t kick you in the gut if you dared cry or even showed the slightest sign that you might cry! You have not the slightestidea what I’ve been through!” Immediately after I closed my mouth, tears streaming down my cheeks, I realised my mistake. “I mean what she’s been through,” I corrected lamely.

A moment later, Petal was hugging me close, and I returned the embrace as I could hear Banter struggle for words for the second time tonight. “I-I’m so sorry... I didn’t mean to…” he stammered. Petal shushed him, brushing my head with her forehooves as I pressed my face into her chest.

As I slowly calmed down, she told him, “This is just your gut telling you you can’t trust her, isn’t it?” I couldn’t hear a response, so I could only assume he nodded. “I know it’s not usually wrong, but could we pretend like it is, this time? What would Iron even do to us?”

“Maybe she would want to sell us out to slavers?” he speculated. “I know it doesn’t sound very plausible, but that’s not a reason we should just blindly trust her.”

“I agree, but I think we should strike a compromise. Lockpick obviously wants somepony her age around, and I’m not saying we should believe every word Iron Sonata says, but we should maybe give her a chance.”

“Fine…” Banter reluctantly nodded while I internally celebrated. Petal didn’t speak much, but when she did, she seemed to always know exactly what to say. “We need to come up with rules, though. How do we allow her to stay with us, while minimising the risk of betrayal.”

I… didn’t want to hear this. I wasn’t in the right headspace to listen to them discuss how the pony who’d inspired me couldn’t be trusted. I understood why it was necessary, but I didn’t like it. I wiggled free from Petal’s gentle embrace and quietly informed them, “I’m going outside. Tell me when you’re done, so I can go back to sleep.” I opened the door.

After they acknowledged my statement, Banter whispered to Petal, “For one, we shouldn’t trust her with watch duty. If she does have ulterior motives, she’d probably use the time when we’re all asleep.”

I didn’t hear her response as I’d already stepped out into the wasteland. Iron sat on the other side of the road, legs folded underneath her. With her magic, she was illuminating the book she was reading. Having noticed my presence, she telekinetically folded a corner of the book and closed it, placing it in her saddlebags. In the brief moment I’d looked at her, my eyes had gotten used to the brightness, and I was blinded by its absence.

“Aren’t… aren’t you worried you’ll attract some kind of critter when you light up like that?” I asked tentatively, attempting to seem calmer than I really was.

“Nah, even in complete darkness, my PipBuck has me covered,” she replied dismissively.

“Oh, right,” I said awkwardly before going quiet. There wasn’t anything I really wanted to talk about, and I could only think of my frustration at my two companions—specifically Banter. I mentally groaned. Screw it, if it was all my brain wanted to talk about, then so be it.

After an awkwardly long pause, I finally spoke up again, “Sorry if this is outta nowhere, but I’m kinda peeved at these two right now.” At her arched brow, I continued, “You see, they’re currently talking about how they wanna make sure you don’t stab us in the back…”

“I figured,” she replied, “but why tell me? Shouldn’t you keep that to yourself?”

“Well, it’s not like you didn’t know anyway… Even if you didn’t, you’re pretty sharp and would have caught on eventually.”

She snorted in amusement. “Thanks.” Despite the dark, I still spotted a glimmer of pride in her ruby red eyes, as well as a smug smile on her lips.

“Besides, it’s like I said. I wish they didn’t act this way towards you,” I told her, averting my gaze towards the ground. I knew better. I knew it made sense for them to distrust her. But she was Iron! She was my friend! It just didn’t sit right with me.

“I mean, it makes sense. I’m practically a stranger at this point. How long has it been since New Detrot… two years? Feels like longer. Feels like an eternity, really.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, you’ve certainly changed a lot.” On one hoof I didn’t like small talk, but she had said she was too tired for in-depth conversation, and I needed a small distraction as well. “Well, I mostly just noticed how much you’ve grown.”

Another shrug. “I mean, so have you,” Iron Sonata responded flatly.

“Well, I’m not done yet. Meanwhile, you’re already as tall as Banter!” I’d only been a little bit shorter than her last time we’d met. That growth spurt was insane!

“I think I’m still growing, too. Both my parents were quite big,” she admitted.

“Damn,” I muttered. She would be one heck of an imposing mare. Well, once she put on some more weight. Then again… she definitely didn’t seem as fragile as when I’d first met her. “You’re also a lot less thin than you used to be, I think. That’s reassuring.”

“Mhm!” She beamed proudly. Woah. She wasn’t just being smug, she was genuinely happy. So she was worried about it as well, huh. “I added a few things to my diet, and the extra protein works wonders. I even lost a bit of weight over the past half-year, given I wasn’t exactly in the best place, mentally.” As she spoke that sentence, her tone gradually shifted from gleeful to morose, before she fell quiet.

“What… happened?” I curiously inquired.

A frown formed on her lips. “I… I don’t wanna talk about it right now. Too tired.”

For the few minutes we sat there, a heavy silence draped over the two of us, before it was finally pierced by Iron again. “Did you ever take up singing? I’m… sorry I broke my promise.”

Shaking my head, I replied, “Didn’t have the chance, no. And don’t worry, I won’t hold it against you. You had other things to do, and I understand that.” After a short pause, I added, “Besides, I only recall you promising to not make fun of me, so you didn’t technically break it.”

She chuckled softly. “I guess you’re right.”

Once more, silence fell over us, this time surprisingly comfortable, which soon was again broken by her. “You’ve matured,” Iron Sonata told me.

“I’ve matured? Have you seen yourself? You remind me of those mercenaries who’ve survived decades travelling the wastes. Obviously not as experienced, but you still strike me as somepony who knows what she’s doing, and that’s just from the way you talk and dress.”

Another smug smile. “You flatter me. I don’t feel like I’ve changed at all, though. I’ve just learned to survive and get along with ponies.”

“Well, if you put it like that, I haven’t matured either. I’ve just learned to be less of a liability, and more helpful to my family.”

“No no, you definitely sound more confident than last time we spoke. You’re no longer a scared foal,” she rebutted. “You must have gone through a lot.”

“I suppose. It’s thanks to you, though, if it happened. I wouldn’t have made any such improvement without the wake-up call you gave me.”

Oddly enough, this caused her expression to turn sour, rather than smug or proud. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“What? Why?”

She sighed. “It’s just… I was forced to grow up way too quickly—more so than most wasteland orphans, I think. Even back when I lived in the stable, I wasn’t a normal foal by any stretch. When I see other children nowadays, I get sad and envious; envious of an innocence I’ll never get back.”

My jaw dropped momentarily, and I stared at her, unsure what to reply to this. Instead, I ended up embracing her in a hug, which she this time returned fully. After a few long moments, we separated, and I said, “It’s ironic, that sounded like something a grown-up would say,” in a half-joking tone.

She… pouted. Was she… “Are you doing that to prove me wrong?” I wondered out loud.

“Maybe so,” she asserted.

Smiling, I stuck out my tongue. I would let her have this moment. In response, she blew a raspberry, and I couldn’t hold back a giggle. She joined my laughter, and neither of us was able to stop for a long while. I’d have gotten worried about making this much noise at night, but that rational thought could not break the moment. However, what could break it, was her painful-sounding coughing fit that lasted worryingly long.

I stared at her in shock. When it eventually stopped, her expression had drastically shifted. Gone was her calculating gaze with undertones of smugness. In its stead, confusion and fear were painted all across her face, the former more intense than the latter. “Are… you okay, Iron Sonata?” I quietly asked.

Confounding me yet again, she stuttered, “Y-yeah.” An obvious lie. I deadpanned her in response, making sure my gaze portrayed how unconvinced I was. “I-it’s just… I get episodes of amnesia,” she quickly confessed, having noticed I’d called her bluff. “B-by the way, I go by ‘Iron Sights’ now,” she added hesitantly. I smiled at the familiar name, one that Banter himself had suggested, but didn’t press on. What a strange condition…

“Is that why you’ve really come see us? I can’t speak for the others, but I’ll gladly be there for you if you need my help,” I replied. She suddenly sounded so utterly weak and pathetic, I couldn’t help but offer support. I just hoped her cough wasn’t anything serious, despite how it sounded.

“I… don’t know.” She looked at the ground in shame. “The reason I mentioned it is…” I gave her a moment, but she never finished her sentence. Was this even the same pony? How was she so meek all of a sudden? Is she…?

“Yes?” I encouraged her.

“I… I’m having an amnesia episode right now,” she finally admitted. She is. “I don’t remember where I am or how I got here. I mean, I remember you, and I know we were being silly just now, but I don’t know what we were talking about beforehand, or how our conversation even started…”

“But… you were fine just a minute ago, what’s going on?”

“I-I don’t know. It usually happens overnight, and almost never out of the blue like this,” replied the pink filly. She promptly added, “D-don’t worry, it usually goes away within a week.”

Okay, this was definitely weird. “You remember some things but not others? How does that work? How do you even know it’s amnesia, then? Wait, nevermind, I didn’t think that through.” This wasn’t making much sense. Maybe I just wasn’t getting things.

She took some time to gather her words, seemingly relaxing in the process. “Well… there’s lots of things I remember. My time in the stable as well as some episodes in the wasteland. I’ve tried making sense of it, but it’s just too weird… As for the rest of my knowledge…” She waved her PipBuck. “I keep a journal here. Whenever I lose my memory, I just read up on what happened.” Looking at the device, she manipulated it and made its screen light up. The way she focused on what was written almost made it seem like an excuse to escape from the conversation, though I knew better.

After a few long moments, I tried to get her attention again. “What does it say?” I inquired.

“Mostly just following your tracks here, for the past fifteen days at least. That’s how far back I got.”

“Does, uh, this happen often? And does it say how long you’ve been coughing like that?” I asked.

She shook her head. “I-it used to happen more frequently, but nowadays it’s only every few months. Last time was six weeks ago, and I wasn’t sick then. I’ll tell you more when I’ve caught up, okay?” She sounded so incredibly unsure, hesitation obvious in her voice, that it pained me. Poor thing.

She hadn’t read that far back, which meant… “So wait, you recall the last time you lost your memory?”

She nodded. “For some reason, the parts I remember the clearest are always when I forget everything else.” She shut off the backlight on her PipBuck, then dug at the ground a little before saying, “I’m pretty tired, can we go sleep please? Why are we even outside? It’s cold here,” Iron Sonata complained. Uh, Iron Sights. That’s gonna take some getting used to.

“I’ll be right back,” I told her.

I went back inside and explained the situation to Banter and Petal. Both were wary, but when we eventually invited her in, they seemed to slightly soften up when they realised just how innocent and naïve the filly now was. Frankly, it was beyond me as well.

Since Banter and Petal had come to their own conclusions regarding Iron Sights and how we should treat her, they agreed we should go back to sleep while Banter continued his shift. Iron unpacked her bedroll in a corner of the shack’s main room, away from everypony else.

As we all lay down—except for Banter, of course—I found myself unable to sleep. My mind was racing with so many questions that I desperately wanted to ask her, but the filly was already sound asleep. Even if she wasn’t, she would probably just tell me what she had written in her journal—maybe even just read off of it. Besides, it made more sense if she told all of us, rather than just me. I was still surprised how few new scars she had. Though maybe I’d just missed them because of the bad lighting. I would really have to take a closer look at her tomorrow, in the daylight.

And how had she recovered from her inner ear injury? Did she still have those bouts of vertigo? Did she have some stories about killing raiders by the dozen? Where had she been? Had she seen Canterlot?

As my thoughts continued to pile up I lay there for Luna only knew how long before I finally drifted off to sleep.

I was sharply awoken from my dream by Petal nudging my shoulder. I was so incredibly tired I momentarily forgot where I was or why she was so insistent. I just wanted to go back to my nice bucket of locks… No, I needed to get up.

It felt like I’d just fallen asleep, only to get woken up immediately afterwards. I knew it wasn’t the case, since I’d slept through Petal’s entire watch, but it felt like almost no sleep. Still, if I didn’t get up, Petal would get even less sleep than me. I attempted to shake myself awake, but found that it only made me dizzy.

As she lay down in her sleeping bag, I took her seat next to the window and watched over the road for the next three hours. The dawn was rapidly approaching. Soon enough, the night would give way to dawn, and I would have to wake everypony up.

I wasn’t looking forward to walking an entire day while this tired. In the distance, far away from the road, I spotted a few rather large shapes, presumably radscorpions—or maybe they were small, and I’d overestimated the space between us. Neither was a fun option to think about. Eventually, they disappeared behind some shrubbery, and I was left alone with my thoughts. Without anything to focus on, I grew bored and my eyelids heavy.

I needed something to keep me occupied. Just a few hours ago I couldn’t fall asleep because my mind was racing, now I was having the opposite problem. I turned my gaze towards Iron, who was lying on her own bedroll. I couldn’t help but notice how she slept. Curled up, she was hugging her blanket, covering only her torso and front legs—hadn’t she complained about being cold?

My eyes were drawn to the many scars on her legs and barrel. Very few of them I remembered from all that time ago, but most I didn’t. There were even some I was certain she didn’t have before. All of them were bullet wounds or cuts, though none looked as severe as those awful burn scars on her legs. Well, one scar that did stand out looked like the flesh had been torn rather than cut or pierced, right above the chemical burn from that frog she’d told me about. Then again, I suppose those gunshot scars don’t look impressive compared to how dangerous the wounds that caused them must have been.

Something else that I could not help noticing was her other hindleg. It wasn’t scarred, but it still looked very wrong. The entirety of the fur near her hoof had fallen out, exposing grey skin. The sight was far from pleasant, and I swiftly averted my gaze.

My eyes wandered up her leg, landing on her rump and cutie mark, though something seemed off. Before I could grasp what, I was hit with the realisation that I was staring at somepony’s plot. I immediately looked away and back through the window. I was so lucky that nopony had seen that. Wait, maybe not… I turned to look at Banter and Petal on the other side of the room. Luckily for me, both were facing away, and I would have heard them moving. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Then again, Petal would have understood—she’d been the one to tell me it was perfectly normal for somepony my age to start thinking about such things. It wasn’t weird… right? It still felt rude, though…

But something had struck me as odd. I desperately wanted to find out what it was, but that would imply staring at her hindquarters some more. Would that really be such a bad thing? Yes! It would be disrespectful. But if she didn’t find out…? No! Stop that.

Stupid thoughts… Why did growing up have to come with that? I didn’t want any of this! I groaned, louder than I’d meant to, causing the young mare to stir. She rolled to lie onto her stomach, and I immediately noticed what was wrong. Her cutie mark was a triplet of musical notes surrounded by red butterflies. Not a rifle.

Why would she lie about her cutie mark? It made no sense. Maybe she wanted to reassure us that she was capable? That seemed likely, and it would also explain why she’d been willing to help me practice. This whole situation only made me want to talk to her about music more. She shivered and hid beneath the blanket. I’d also obviously have to call her lie, but I didn’t particularly look forward to that conversation.

I spent the next more or less hour daydreaming about being taught to sing and later performing at Tenpony tower, awing everypony. I would wear a pretty dress, and I’d record new music for DJ-Pon3! I knew all that was very unlikely to happen—at least I told myself that to keep my hopes contained—but I still liked thinking about it.

Eventually, it was bright enough outside that Banter got up on his own, then told me we should awaken the others. I thought it was still a bit early, but he insisted. Within the hour, we had eaten breakfast and were about to depart. Even Iron, who’d spent a good five minutes putting on her barding right after waking up, was ready to go. I managed to hold back a snicker at how clumsily she struggled with each piece.

Petal was concerned for Iron’s health, given that the latter had been coughing since waking up. The filly eventually dug up a box of old cold medicine and swallowed one of the pills. None of us insisted further, but I could tell I wasn’t the only one worried. However, it wasn’t like there was much we could do about it anyway.

“So, Iron,” Banter started, “the way we usually travel is by having one of us—usually Petal or I—walk ahead of the group and scout for potential dangers, since it’s much easier to run away when you’re not dragging a cart.” He shrugged. “Around here it’s mostly smaller radscorpions though, and they’re fairly predictable. I was thinking of doing teams of two.”

“Oh, can I stay with Lockpick?” immediately replied the filly.

“Well, I was planning on having you accompany me while I pull the cart. Normally I would have sent you ahead, since you’re probably our best fighter, but given your current condition, I'm not sure if that still applies.”

“I can still defend myself, though…” she protested, “just… less well than usually,” she added defensively.

“Wouldn’t it be a good idea to send our two better fighters in front?” I interjected. “It’s not like we’ll be completely defenseless back here, and you two could kill radscorpions before they even became an issue to us.” In theory, there was the chance that if they shot the creatures, it would attract more that would then bother us, but I doubted it was really an issue.

“And who would drag the cart? Neither of you is very strong, and you’d get exhausted very quickly. Listen, I thought this through already, this is the smartest way we can go about it.”

“If we get tired, we can always switch around,” I argued.

“And I can just use my magic,” enthusiastically chimed Iron. Right, she does have abnormally strong telekinesis… But still…

Looking her in the eye, I raised an eyebrow. “Can you concentrate for such long durations of time? I know I could drag it with my own magic, but all this conscious mental effort will eventually tire me out.” I didn’t want to kill her enthusiasm, but her proposition didn’t make much sense. Unless… “Unless your telekinesis is strong enough that it’s really no big deal?”

“I’m pretty sure it is. The cart looks rather light, and I know my magic could handle carrying it for a short while.” There was some of the smugness I knew!

“Prove it,” I challenged her, climbing on top of our small wagon, making sure not to step on any food or anything else fragile. I knew I might be betting on a sinking ship, but I did want to see if she was able to do this. Making it harder on her would only make her win more satisfying.

The next moment, my suspicions were confirmed as the entire cart glowed red and lifted off the ground fast enough to make me dizzy. I lay down, holding onto the wagon for dear life. It turned out neither my brain nor my stomach enjoyed being airborne!

“Put me down!” I shouted, panicked. I wasn’t expecting her to pick me up like a pebble. As the cart landed, I jumped to the ground, resisting the urge to kiss it. When I looked at her face, her small smile had grown into a giant grin.

I was about to compliment her strength when Banter spoke up, “You two really wanna stick together, huh?” He gave us a smile. Maybe he’d eventually warm up to her?

“Yeah, we didn’t really have time to properly catch up yesterday,” I told him.

He nodded and gave me a look that said, “Just be careful.” I suppose it takes more than that to convince him she’s not a threat. I rolled my eyes. Still, I was under the impression he was slightly less paranoid around amnesiac Iron Sights.

As he and Petal walked away, Iron told me, “They don’t trust me, huh?” Yesterday, this fact hadn’t hurt her. Now, I could hear sadness in her voice, as if forgetting about it had made it more painful for her.

“Well, Petal doesn’t trust easily to begin with, but she wants to give you the benefit of the doubt. Banter, on the other hoof… He usually has a very good feeling for who’s shady and who isn’t. He’s been wrong before, but that’s the exception rather than the rule,” I explained, then promptly added, “Of course, I think he’s wrong in this case as well.”

She tilted her head. “So, he’s treating me like a bad pony on a gut feeling?” She didn’t even attempt to hide how hurt she sounded.

“Yeah.”

“But wait, if they’re both wary of me, why… aren’t you?”

“Duh, because you’re my friend.” I made an effort to sound as lighthearted as possible. I couldn’t bear her sadness.

“Were… were we close? There isn’t much in my journal about you,” she admitted.

“Not particularly. We only talked every few days for a month or two, but you were my closest friend my age, and you did inspire me to grow as a pony.”

“I did?”

“Mhm! We talked about this yesterday.” I paused for a moment. “Hmm… It’s a bit odd to talk to someone with amnesia. I guess you don’t know what’s causing it?”

She shook her head. “No idea. I wish I knew, since I’m defenseless when I forget how to handle a firearm. When I read my journals, I have a hard time believing all the things I do when… when I’m myself. I was apparently in a mercenary gang!”

“For real? That’s… not entirely surprising, but I wanna hear the full story. Why did you leave? If you know, that is.”

She nodded. “My journal is very comprehensive. I know everything that’s happened to me over the past two years. Well, I only know what’s written, but I doubt I would have any reason to leave out important details.” That is such a mindfuck, I thought. “Anyway, apparently I was stationed with a buck, and we got overrun. I was kicked out for incompetence.” Her? Incompetent? I… had a hard time believing it.

“That’s odd; you’ve always struck me as somepony extremely capable. It’s hard to imagine they’d kick you out over a single mistake like that, but it’s even harder to think you’d consistently mess up.”

She frowned, sighed, and replied, “That’s what I struggle with as well. What I read in there often doesn’t sound like me. I know memories make up a good chunk of who somepony is, but… some of the things I did? I feel guilty just reading about them.”

Raising an eyebrow, I looked her in the eyes, “Such as?”

“Well…” she hesitated, “it says I killed somepony for their bounty. He was a bad pony, and I needed the caps, but I have a hard time justifying murder…”

Now that was a shock. She was the last pony I ever expected feeling remorseful over the wasteland’s necessary atrocities. I didn’t know what to reply, so I stayed quiet. Seconds of silence turned into minutes, and eventually the walkie-talkie on the cart broke it.

“You two should probably depart about now,” Banter told us over the radio.

Grabbing the walkie-talkie on the cart and pressing the main button, I answered. “Okay, will do.” Then, turning to Iron, “I’ll go first. We’ll swap when I get tired.”

After attaching the cart’s harnesses to myself and starting to walk, I almost regretted my decision. It wasn’t impossible, but I could tell I would be very sore at the end of the day. Coupled with how dry my eyes were due to how terribly I’d slept, I knew the next few hours would be unpleasant.

As we continued onwards, the silence stretched, until I desperately tried to make conversation. “Hey, Iron?” I didn’t wait for her response before I continued, “This might seem like an odd thing to ask, but if we were to have an important conversation right now, would you remember it after you get your memories back?” Assuming she did get them back, which was the most likely case anyway.

“Yeah, I remember everything that happens to me in this state. At least I think I do. Why do you ask?”

“There’s something I wanted to tell you, since you probably overheard a conversation yesterday, and it would make sense to give you the details; I feel like you deserve to know,” I admitted.

She perked up and smiled at me. “I’m all ears, then.”

Right as I was about to start talking, a thought hit me. This will tank the mood. “It’s actually probably not the best moment to talk about it, in hindsight.”

“Why not?”

“It would just make us sad for no good reason. It’s really not that important.” Damn it, just why did I have to open my mouth?

“Well, if you wanted to talk about it, then it can’t be that unimportant?” After a few seconds of silence, she hurriedly added, “I-it’s alright if you don’t want to, though. I don’t want to pressure you.”

I sighed. I’d clearly piqued her curiosity, and now it had become a good opportunity to talk about it. Even back then, I kept coming up with excuses not to tell her, every time we had a conversation. I coulda told her half a dozen times, but I never did.

“I…” I hesitated, “I don’t know where to start.” I thought for a few moments. “Screw it, I’ll start wherever my thoughts are.” I sighed, bracing myself for what I was about to admit. “I killed my mom. She kept screaming at me. About how I was the reason her life had gone to shit. About how I was just a useless parasite. About how she should leave me behind to fend for myself.” I stared at the ground while walking forward, unable to meet Iron Sights’s gaze.

While I’d been perfectly calm mere moments ago, now I could feel myself shake. “A-and that wasn’t the worst of it. No, that was when she found alcohol. She… she was so volatile when she drank. One bad comment or one bad noise, or hell, even being in the wrong place in her field of view would get me the brunt of a shower of insults.” I sniffed, trying my hardest to keep the tears in. “It was when she started hitting me that I finally learned to stay away from her when she was in that state.”

I gulped. Sometime during my speech, tears had started flowing down my cheeks. I hated talking about this, but now I had to at least finish it. “T-that worked for a while, but e-ev-even—” My voice kept breaking as it was interrupted by sobs. A few moments later, I was able to regain my composure enough to say, “Sometimes, she would get mad at me even though I wa-wasn’t anywhere around. I’d hide, and occasionally she wouldn’t find me. M-most of the time she did and beat me so hard I w-wondered how I was still alive. I wished I wasn't. I wished she’d just finish me off.”

Now that I was sobbing again, I needed to take a moment to take a few deep breaths, hiccuping uncontrollably. I stopped pulling the cart as I kept crying. Iron lifted her leg, and I flinched, before immediately realising she only wanted to pat my back. I knew she wouldn’t ever hurt me, and was ashamed of this reflexive reaction. Finally, I continued. “One day I just… snapped. She hit me so hard I fell to the ground and almost lost consciousness.” I suppressed another sob. “Before she could strike me again I grabbed her g-gun, closed my eyes, and fired.”

I couldn’t stop crying and bawling, and my front legs gave out under me. Why did I fool myself into believing I could tell anypony about this without breaking down?

I thought I’d be fine by avoiding those topics. I thought I’d eventually forget about it and how much it hurt. I thought I’d finally gotten over it all. I thought I could become as strong as Iron. I thought I was fine. In reality, I just became good at hiding from the past and pretending it didn’t happen.

Fuck, how was she so damn strong? She’d remained perfectly stoic when she told us about her father. Maybe she’s just better at pretending the past doesn’t exist?

She kneeled down next to me, hugging me tight. We sat like that for a few minutes; me sobbing uncontrollably and her comforting me to the best of her effort. “I can’t even begin to imagine how you must have felt,” she said. What? Didn’t she…?

“But—” I was about to retort, when the obvious crossed my mind. She didn’t remember. It was so bittersweet. I should be happy that she didn’t have to deal with that for now. Instead, I was angry at her for not being able to understand. She was supposed to be the one pony who’d get it! I wanted to scream.

Before long, I got up; we had to keep going. I needed to calm down. She couldn’t be blamed for this. I tripped after less than five steps.

With my face on the dry dirt road, I started crying again. “I’m sorry,” I sobbed, “I’m so weak, I shouldn’t—”

I felt her telekinesis undo the harness around my barrel, then lift me onto the cart. I silently wept as she pulled me forward with her magic. I wanted to protest, but didn’t find the strength in me to do so. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up to Iron Sights singing an old Songbird Serenade song. Her voice wasn’t the most beautiful I’d ever heard, but it was far from grating. More importantly, she was perfectly on-key. As I looked at her, I noticed she was listening to her PipBuck’s radio through its ear bloom. Before long, she was interrupted by a coughing fit, then fell quiet.

Carefully, I jumped off the moving cart. Having noticed, Iron turned around, blushing slightly. “P-please don’t tell me you heard any of that?”

I gave her my best ‘really?’ look, then smiled at her. “Don’t worry, your singing isn’t anything to be ashamed of.”

“Oh… Thanks!” she replied. Despite her bashfulness just now, she seemed to be in a rather bright mood. “Have you ever seen a rainbow? Books and songs always make them sound so pretty,” she asked.

“I haven’t, they’re pretty rare in the wasteland, as you know.”

“Well, I hope to see one some day, then!” she chirped optimistically.

I decided to humour her. “I mean, it’s only a matter of time, isn’t it? Eventually you’ll be at the right place at the right time.”

“Exactly! That’s what I was thinking,” she agreed cheerfully. It was odd, now it felt like I was the mature one.

Before it was too late and bringing it up would be awkward, I decided to speak up about what happened earlier today. “So, uh… I wanted to apologise for breaking down like that. I’m… still not over it, clearly. I thought I was, and that I’d be able to talk about it like a normal pony. Clearly not. I’m sorry you had to see me like that.”

“Well, it’s not a big deal. You needed to talk about it and let it out, and I’m glad you trust me enough to tell me something so big.” I had to hold back my tears. How was she so nice? “Besides, that’s a perfectly reasonable reaction when remembering something this awful.” Suddenly, she sounded mature again.

Of course, the fact that she didn’t remember and thus couldn’t truly understand still stung, but her kindness made me so happy. As if on cue, she added, “Did you still want to practice singing? I m-mean it’s okay if not, it’s just that it’s what I wrote down in my journal, and like, you said I’m pretty good… so maybe I could help you out? O-of course I can just listen quietly if you’d prefer that.”

“Of course! I’d love that. You don’t have to… critique me if you don’t know how, but I appreciate you giving me the opportunity to practice. I dunno if I told you this, but I’m embarrassed to try in front of Petal and Banter… I don’t think they would judge me, but I still don’t like it…”

She nodded, and I turned on the gem-powered radio we had on our cart. When a song to which I knew the lyrics came on, and I started singing along, I felt silly at first. I wanted to stop, but her encouraging nods and gaze kept me going. My voice was shaky, and I had trouble catching my breath while walking. Eventually, she suggested I climb back onto the cart. I accepted her offer, and, for a few hours, we would listen to the radio and sing along the songs we knew by heart. Given her amnesia, it would have made sense she would remember less lyrics than me, but it turned out to be the opposite.

From time to time, we’d get interrupted by Banter or Petal telling us about a group of radscorpions in the distance we should be mindful of, but nothing out of the ordinary happened. Eventually, we grouped up, had dinner, and went to sleep in our tents—this time, we hadn’t been able to find any old buildings to sleep in.

Nothing of note happened that night, and soon enough we found ourselves on the road again.

The walkie-talkie crackled, and Banter’s voice came through, breaking our comfortable silence. “There’s a few large radscorpions to the right of the road. They’re closer than any other group we passed by. They didn’t bother us, but they might see the cart as prey. Be careful and be ready to run.”

I lifted the radio in my light blue magic, pressing the button on its side. “Gotcha. Over.” Turning to Iron, who was sitting on the cart, I told her, “Would you mind getting off the cart? You heard him, we might need to sprint a bit.”

She complied, hopping off and lifting her saddlebags off it as well. I wondered how heavy those bags were—half her weight? Probably less, but they seemed awfully heavy compared to her. Then again, she wasn’t particularly heavy herself, though much more than she’d previously been.

“By the way,” I told her, “You mentioned a change in diet yesterday, what exactly was it?”

“I dunno. My journal mentions it, but doesn’t go into details. I’ve been wondering about that as well.”

“Well, have you checked your saddlebags?” I offered.

“Not this time, no,” she admitted, lifting her leg to look at her PipBuck, which had a full list of everything she was carrying around. However, focusing on a screen while hobbling on three legs didn’t strike me as a particularly bright idea.

Sure enough, she tripped on a rock after a few moments, stumbling. She managed to regain her balance before faceplanting, but I still regretted not voicing my concerns earlier. A few things dropped out of her bag. Bottled water, canned food, one of those chromed pistols some ponies used.

Helping her pick things up as to lose as little time as possible, I told her, “Maybe you should do that next time we stop.” She nodded in response, blushing slightly. I turned my gaze back to the road.

In the distance to my right, I noticed a small blip on the horizon. Possibly the scorpions Banter had mentioned. The sooner we moved past them, the better.

Walking hurriedly, we didn’t have much breath to talk. Occasionally, we would slow down as Iron had a coughing fit. After many more minutes, the group of scorpions finally properly came into view. At first, they didn’t seem to really pay us much mind.

Though that changed all too quickly. Luckily for us, they weren’t the fastest critters in the wasteland, so a brisk pace would allow us to outrun them. Only problem was that I didn’t know if I had the strength to run while dragging a full cart. If push came to shove, I could always detach myself and sprint away. That, however, brought up another problem—I had no idea how fast Iron could run, especially given her current condition.

Meanwhile, the arthropods were only drawing closer. Now in a canter, I started getting winded, while my companion kept up seemingly without effort. I guess I should look at my own issues first, huh?

“Gimme that,” she told me, struggling to take the harness off me. Seemed like she’d had the same thought. Wait, I should be the one pulling it with my telekinesis! She already pulled it earlier, I mentally protested. Now’s definitely not the time to argue about that. She has stronger magic anyway. I momentarily stopped, primarily to ease the task, but also admittedly to catch my breath. Before my lungs could fully recover, we started running again.

A bit later, I glanced over at Iron. Her horn was surrounded with an aura of the same colour as her majestic red eyes. By how brightly it glowed, it had to be a major effort to pull the vehicle at such a speed. Good thing I didn’t try to do it, then. I probably don’t have the strength needed.

Now that we were running at full gallop, I could hear her occasionally coughing and her breathing getting heavier, while I wasn’t having too much trouble. The cart, on the other hoof, was loudly rumbling, rolling on the uneven path. In an attempt to run faster, she lifted the entire thing. What I’d interpreted as effortless yesterday day suddenly struck me with how gargantuan a task it actually was. Her horn occasionally sparked, blazing brightly enough to hurt looking at. Can I do that too? was the first thought to cross my mind.

I had to push my amazement and wonders aside for now. Focus on galloping. We’d soon outrun them. Not much longer until we would be far enough away that they’d leave us alone. Once we were past them, they would give up chasing us.

Iron, however, was panting much too hard. Suddenly, her concentration was broken by a stronger coughing fit. Fortunately, she managed to catch the cart before it smashed into the ground. Giving up this approach, she shifted her aura back onto the harness, only to be interrupted by another coughing fit, more intense than any I’d heard so far. She stopped dead in her tracks, several metres behind me. It’s okay, she’ll recover. I hope.

I focused on the harness now lying on the ground. Channeling more and more magic into the spell, I made the vehicle speed up. Soon enough, I was pouring my all into it. But… that wasn’t my all. I could push further, I’d just never considered it.

I quickly realised that the more I concentrated on my horn, the more I slowed down. It was simply too hard to focus on two things at once. I was suddenly impressed by her, but for different reasons.

Uh oh, I realised she still hadn’t caught up. Looking back, I noticed she had slowed down to a trot, occasionally interrupted by coughing. Oh no. She was going to get swarmed very soon, if she didn’t start running!

I started galloping towards her. I didn’t have a plan—I’d be unable to carry her or help her run—but I needed to do something. Oh! If I were to grab her pistol, and she’d use her rifle, maybe we could fight them off!

I finally reached her as the scorpions were less than ten metres away. Iron tripped and fell right onto her face. From here, I opened her right saddlebag, pulling out the pistol I’d seen earlier. Undoing the safety, I turned towards the giant arthropods.

Sweet Celestia, were those huge. One of them in particular was over twice as wide as the second largest. I aimed the gun’s barrel forward and repeatedly pulled the trigger. “Help me!” I shouted at Iron, who hadn’t even unharnessed her rifle yet. Her eyes were closed—Dear Princess Celestia, please tell me she’s not unconscious.

I kept shooting at the closest one, until it finally stopped moving. Or rather, until I noticed it stopped moving, after having used up all my ammo. I turned towards my companion, who had just finished standing up.

When she opened her eyes, she was entirely calm and collected; her gaze was back to cold and calculating. She had her memories back! At least that was the best interpretation for what was happening.

She took one deep breath. In the next second, there was a red flash and a metallic apple materialised between the two smaller scorpions. Simultaneously, her carbine floated up next to her, and she shoved me to the ground. Then, the world exploded.

No, that wasn’t right. It had just been the automatic’s angry roar. Before I could figure out if she’d hit her target, my vision was filled with red as we were teleported away. A few moments afterwards, the grenade went off, tearing apart both radscorpions.

She holstered her carbine again, then broke into another coughing fit. It took me a few moments to realise what had just happened. “Iron! That. Was. Awesome!” Despite how close we’d come to dying, I couldn't help but be impressed by how quickly she'd dealt with them. “I… take it you’re back to normal?”

She looked… different. I hadn’t noticed it last night in the darkness, or just before in the hectic shootout, but now it felt really obvious, like I could see it at first glance. Was it really all just attitude? It sent a chill down my spine, which I tried my best to hide.

She nodded, pain marking her expression, overriding even the smugness I’d come to expect after complimenting her. “Yeah. Sorry about that. I really wasn’t expecting my amnesia to act up out of nowhere. Usually it only happens after a bad hangover, or if I sleep badly.” She sighed, then surprised the ponyfeathers out of me by hugging me, squeezing me tight.

I let the moment last, hugging back. Eventually, I broke free of the embrace. “What gives? Not that I don’t appreciate it, I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“It’s to make up for yesterday. I… had no idea you went through the same thing as me.” Oh, right.

Our conversation was abruptly interrupted as Banter’s voice crackled, “Are you two okay? We heard gunshots, now everything’s suddenly quiet.”

Iron was the one who replied to him, “Yeah, I took care of that group of radscorpions.”

“Roger that.”

I picked up the harness in my magic and started pulling the cart. Next to me, Iron took out something from her right saddlebag, then took a bite out of it. Turning my head to look at her, I noticed that it was jerky. “Oh, so that’s what you meant by change of diet? I have to admit, I’m intrigued. I never understood how ponies can eat meat. When I tried it, I just ended up sick for a day. Can’t say I really disliked the taste, though.”

“Mhm,” she mumbled, kept chewing and eventually swallowed. “Your body needs a while to get used to it, then you can digest it just fine. The omnivore diet isn’t for everyone, but it sure is convenient for me,” she told me. “Jerky in particular is a bit odd. It’s so salty you can barely taste the meat, and takes forever to chew through. But it feeds you.”

“Oh, and here I was considering asking you for a bite,” I admitted.

“Yeah, this stuff really isn’t the best if you aren’t used to it. Would love to share a good steak with you, though.”

As she mentioned that, a thought hit me, “How come you didn’t write it down in your journal? It seems like an odd thing to leave out.”

“Frankly… I’m scared of my reaction when I’d find out. Back in the stable it was a huge taboo, and I’m worried this more naïve version of me wouldn’t take it well…”

Digging in her saddlebags again, she pulled out a box of Buck. I watched in shock as she snapped a tablet of the drug in two and swallowed one of halves, chasing it with some water.

“Are… you sure you should be taking that?”

She raised an eyebrow. “You know I’m taking it for its intended purpose, right? I’m sick and my body needs the extra kick. I wouldn’t be touching this garbage otherwise.”

I felt silly, now. Sheepishly, I muttered. “Oh. Well, that makes sense, I guess. Sorry.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it. At least it came from a good place.” She took another bite of jerky and chewed for a good minute. “You know, your magic’s pretty strong. I was always told that short horns led to weak magic, but that’s not the case for you.”

“Hey, my horn isn’t that short!” I protested, knowing full well that it was. I got mistaken for an earth pony enough to be perfectly aware of it. “Well, maybe it is. But it’s never been an issue for me. If anything, it’s an advantage to have ponies underestimate me.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that anyway. Earth ponies usually underestimate us unicorns regardless, especially when dealing with younger ones. Even when they keep telekinesis in mind, they have a weird tendency to assume we don’t know any other spells. I can think of three separate occasions where I should have been screwed, but managed to survive thanks to magic.”

“Oh, what spells do you know?” I wanted to ask about the situations she’d escaped from, but I had a feeling that would lead to a heavier conversation than I wanted to have right now.

“Well, I have a whole toolbox of them; it’s the upside to being magically gifted.” As if there was a downside. “But the ones that have helped me escape the most situations are definitely telekinesis, teleportation, and something I’ve been calling a telekinetic cut. The latter is mostly useful to cut ropes, as it’s not strong enough to kill somepony with it. Still, very handy.”

“You gotta teach me that,” I told her. That sounded like a simple spell even I could learn.

“I mean, I could try, though you need some pretty accurate and strong telekinesis. Given your skill with locks, I doubt the former would pose much of an issue… I’m worried about the latter, but we can definitely try.”

As we walked onwards, our conversation wandered from topic to topic, some more serious than others, but never too grim.

“I think I’m done monologuing for now, my throat is starting to kill me,” admitted Iron, having just told us some of what had happened to her, from Candy’s death to Cascade’s departure. I’d raised an eyebrow when she mentioned an alicorn. After all, both princesses were dead, were they not? Apparently, nopony else really believed her either, to the point that she’d started telling people a tall unicorn had murdered her friend.

Another thing that had stirred emotion in me was right at the end, when Cascade had abandoned Iron. “I still can’t believe Cascade would treat you like that after you saved her life,” I commented. “Just because you had to kill in self-defence…”

She shook her head. “No, putting it like that would be very unfair to her.” She sighed. “It’s just… Well, you’ve seen me fight. I tend to be quite…”

“Ruthless?” I offered.

“Yeah. Ruthless. Or maybe brutal? Anyway, she saw me kill our attackers and couldn’t bear it. It was a tough decision for her, I think, but I really can’t blame her.” Well, I can. “Although I’ll admit I’m worried she might be spreading lies about why I killed those two ponies.”

“Still… I think it’s dumb. She was so much safer with you, why would she throw that away?” If she was killed by raiders, it would be her fault. “I feel like you should be angrier at her,” I complained.

She shrugged. “It happened over a year and a half ago. If I was angry back then, now I truly couldn’t care anymore.” She took a sip of tea, and our campfire crackled in the silent night while we waited for her to continue, “And like I mentioned, she and I weren’t really getting along anyway. She didn’t like my more… pragmatic morals.”

Petal sighed. “Yeah, there’s ponies like that out here, who just don’t seem to get that you do what you gotta do.” She shrugged. “I mean, I talk like I got life figured out, but for all I know, maybe they’re in the right.”

I raised an eyebrow. “How? They’re just throwing their life away. I’d kill a pony if my life depended on it.”

The mare shrugged again. “That’s how I think, too. But a part of me can’t help but wonder… what if sticking to your guts and living by your values is ultimately the right thing? Maybe it’s better for your soul. I dunno. Come to think of it, there’s definitely certain things I would never do. I’d probably even choose death over some of those. Pretty sure I’d rather let myself die of starvation than eat a pony.”

“I gave up on trying to understand morality a long time ago,” commented Iron. “I just… do what’s needed to survive. I don’t know if any of what I do is right or wrong, I just do it because it needs to be done.” I felt happy that my friend shared my belief on the matter. She had implied it in her story, but it was reassuring to hear her say it out loud.

Petal nodded understandingly, while Banter had a look of disgust on his face. I didn’t understand why, because he normally would have been inclined to agree. He was clearly still holding onto his earlier “hunch”. He hadn’t been so harsh earlier, so why had his attitude regressed now?

“Banter, can I speak with you for a second?” I immediately regretted my wording. The commanding tone made me sound much angrier than I’d intended for.

He sighed, stood up, and started walking away from the campfire. Once we were out of earshot, he said, “No, I will not trust her simply because she’s nice to you.”

“That wasn’t even what I wanted to say! Why are you so Celestia-damn paranoid? I understand you get your hunches for ponies, but have you considered that, maybe, your sense isn’t always perfectly accurate? Maybe it’s thrown off by a pony younger than you acting more mature than you?” Damn it, why’d I have to say that?

“She’s not more mature than me.” He huffed indignantly. “And that’s certainly not why I’m wary of her.”

“Then why? Give me a good reason why you hate her.”

“Every time she speaks, my hair stands on end. It’s like every other word coming out of her mouth is a lie. I never felt great around already when she was younger, but now it’s like my entire body is screaming not to trust her. Especially now that she’s admitted that she doesn’t have moral objections to slavery.”

“I’m not asking you to trust her with your life, Banter. I just want you to be nicer when talking to her,” I pleaded.

“I don’t want to be nice to her. I don’t want her travelling with us, and I certainly don’t want to pretend I’m her friend. We don’t need her with us, and I doubt she needs us, not after everything she’s told us,” he rebutted.

I scowled, hesitating to reply. After a few short moments, I snapped. “No, Banter. You don’t need her. You already have somepony who understands you. Fuck, you even manage to have complete strangers see things your way. I don’t.” I stomped my hoof to drive home my point. “Banter, I’ve never had a friend my age, and certainly never met anypony who went through the same shit as I did. I don’t want you driving her away just because of your stupid stubborn hunch!” His gut feeling was usually correct, but this was the exception!

For a moment I thought he would blow up at me. Instead, he sighed, seemingly calming down. “Fine. I won’t be overtly hostile towards her. Don’t expect me to play best friends with her, though, or to trust her with any important decisions.”

I smiled. “Thank you.” That was better than nothing.

After we went back to the campfire, Banter turned to Iron. “So, why is it that you decided to find us? You said you were lonely, but I feel like there’s more to that.”

She nodded. “Yeah, there is. I mean, if I want mindless company, I can just go to some bar, get hammered, and talk to strangers for a few hours.” The thought of her drinking sent a chill down my spine. “The truth is, I’m looking for a meaningful bond; a purpose in life, if you will. When I gave up on avenging Candy, I—”

I interrupted her, “Wait, why’d you give up on revenge?”

She looked at the ground. “Yeah… I eventually realised it wouldn’t bring me anything, even if I did manage to kill a murderous alicorn.” Banter shuddered. I wanted to hold it against him, but it seemed like it had been involuntary. Was he cold? “Back when I dropped my plans, I didn’t even have the ability. Nowadays, I think I could take her on, but… what afterwards? I won’t be happy all of a sudden, and it won’t fill the chasm in my heart.”

Banter shuddered again, and all gazes turned to him. “Sorry, but I think I’ll go to bed for now. Tired and freezing is not a great combination, and it just hit me how badly I need to sleep. Wake me up for the last shift.” With those words, he disappeared into the tent, and we all wished him a good night.

“After that, I tried a few things. I joined a different group of mercenaries, but I never quite felt like I fit in with the rest of them, nor like it really filled my lack of purpose. There was one buck I got along with, but that was it. Eventually got kicked out for a mistake I made, and that’s when I decided to try a group of ponies I actually care about.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “Aww, I’m glad to hear that.” After a brief pause to let my words sink in, I asked, “How did you find us?”

“Went to the last place I’d seen you at, New Detrot, and asked around.” Suddenly, her eyes went wide, and a look of shame, shock, and regret installed itself on her face. Just as quickly, she brushed it off and continued, “Then, I made my way over to Manehattan and did the same. Then, Las Pegasus. Had a couple of really bad raider encounters getting there. Finally, I made it to Somnambula; I underestimated how harsh that trip was and came uncomfortably close to dying.”

“Yeah, the San Palomino desert can be a pain to cross,” Petal commented absent-mindedly. “Did you take a specific route?”

Iron shook her head. “Nah, I just headed straight through once the road I was on ended. I figured it wouldn’t be too hard, since I wasn’t that far away anymore. Turns out I severely misjudged how tedious it is to walk on sand.”

“Yeaaaah,” Petal agreed, “walking gets easier when it’s wet, but the rain in that region is bad news. Probably never a good idea to walk while it’s raining.”

“I was warned about that, too. Ended up soaked, and I’m pretty certain I might grow another limb,” she chuckled. “I should have prepared better, in all honesty. I feel silly for thinking it would be an easy trip.”

“Banter’s parents knew a good route that we ended up taking, but I think the locals know a better one. If you’re ever around there alone, just find the nearest settlement. I’m sure they’ll help you in exchange for a few caps.”

“Speaking of… I take it we’re heading to Manehattan?” asked Iron. I nodded. “Do we have a route?”

“Yeah,” I replied, “we’re first heading to Dodge Junction.”

She furrowed her brow. “I’d rather avoid Dodge Junction if we can, but I guess we should wait for Banter before discussing this more.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Avoid Dodge Junction? Why?”

“Last time I was there, it had a pretty bad bandit problem. It’s… not a great idea to go there, and I would much prefer it if we could go by the Appleloosas instead.” Wasn’t that slaver territory? How was that any better? Suddenly, even I had a bout of suspicion. No, I can’t think like that. Obviously, Banter just got into my head.

Regardless, we couldn’t make a decision without him. “I see… Yeah, I think it’s best to wait until tomorrow morning.” I yawned, and so did Iron. Turning to Petal, I asked, “Do you want the first shift, or should I take it?” Of course, we could all sleep an hour longer if we let Iron take a shift, but that was still off the table. With that Appleloosa comment, I’m almost glad we don’t trust her yet. I sighed. Great, I am getting as paranoid as Banter now.

“I’ll let you have it, though if you’re tired and wanna sleep now, I can totes let you,” she replied.

I nodded. “Yeah, I’m getting tired; didn’t sleep particularly well last night or the one before, and I was hoping to catch up a little,” I admitted.

“Yeah, same for me,” commented Iron, standing up. She’d slept more than me, but did pull the cart much longer than I did. Not to mention that I’d napped on said cart while she dragged it.

As we headed to our tent, we said our goodnights and lay down in our respective bedrolls, and I realised I was effectively sharing a bed with somepony. My mind filled with what-ifs. Was she thinking the same? As she gave a soft snore, I had my reply.

Stupid teenager brain… I’d been warned, but I hadn’t expected it to be this annoying.

Soon enough, I drifted to sleep as well.

Stepping back towards the tent, I yawned. If all went well, I could catch up on sleep in less than a week, when we would finally reach Macintown and wouldn’t have to deal with those stupid shifts anymore for a few days.

I opened the flap with my telekinesis, stepping inside, careful to not wake up the sleeping filly inside. I lay down, but didn’t fall asleep immediately.

After a few minutes, Iron started tossing and turning. When after a few seconds she didn’t stop, I opened my eyes and took a look at her. On her face was a mixture of regret, guilt, and sadness.

“Blue Moon,” she muttered. Was that a pony’s name?

It pained me to see her like this. She was obviously having a nightmare. Not knowing what else to do, I grabbed her hoof and squeezed. I didn’t want to hug her and risk waking her up, especially since it would be awkward to explain. This simple act seemed to slightly calm her down, as her expression slowly softened. Only problem is that now, she was squeezing my hoof. How much had this poor mare gone through?

I couldn’t help but notice how warm her skin was. Did she have a fever, or was I imagining things?

I stayed like this for a bit longer, until her grip lessened. I was finally able to go back to sleep, having freed my leg. Nopony could know about this.

A bit more than a week later, we arrived near Macintosh Hills. Over the past day, the terrain had progressively gotten less flat. Now, we were walking up a sloped but not particularly steep road. Here and there, long-dead deciduous trees stood, surrounded by pines. It always astonished me that those trees were still alive, despite how sickly they looked.

The road ahead turned into a bridge. This route would comfortably take us to Macintown and then through the range of hills. The alternative would have been to go around it, or, even worse, navigate through the forest that grew below and all around us. Celestia knew how many dangerous critters lurked there. And, while I didn’t doubt Iron’s ability to protect us, paying the toll was much safer as well as comfortable.

Iron… Over the past week, her cough hadn’t improved in the slightest. I was really starting to worry, but every time I brought it up, she shut me down, claiming it was just a cold or a flu. Eventually, after brushing off my concern, she told me she would see a doctor in the next town we visited.

I could tell she was depending on the meds to keep standing, and I didn’t want to imagine what would happen once she ran out. Thankfully, she hadn’t, and we were already there. Within an hour we’d reach the settlement.

What surprised me was the fact that she knew of Macintosh Hills, but hadn’t heard of the town that had formed on the bridge that crossed them. While it was a fairly recent town, I hadn’t thought it was less than two years old. Given its modest size, it wasn’t a huge shock either, but it still impressed me how much ponies could build in so little time. Well, for a pony, two years is quite a bit, but for a town it’s tiny.

Eventually, the wall of sheet metal came into view, a guard sitting behind it, on the lookout. I knew from my time here that other armed ponies were present behind the gate. How many and how well-equipped depended on the time of day.

As we approached it, the ghoul guard rasped. “Toll.” Banter dug through his saddlebags and retrieved twenty-five caps. Five for each of us, and ten for the cart. Him and Iron had agreed it would be best for her to pay her own fee. They inserted the money through the small gap intended for payment, and the gate lifted.

As expected, two other ghouls—a pegasus and a unicorn—were having a game of… chess? The board matched the descriptions I’d heard, but I’d never seen one in person. It looked… intricate.

When Iron entered, she walked up the stairs leading up the platform the guard on watch duty was sitting on. What is she doing?

“Hey, I wanna speak to Rotrick, he still alive?”

The security pony, clearly not in a chatty mood, replied, “Go bother somepony else.”

This rude reply seemed to have annoyed Iron, who approached the ghoul further, staring into his eyes. “You are on gate duty, it’s your job to talk to ponies who get on the bridge,” Iron scolded.

The unicorn playing chess chuckled without looking up. He muttered, low enough that the ponies on the gate couldn’t hear, “Fun to hear strangers stand up to Dustbowl’s bullshit. I wonder if he’ll fold.”

His opponent concurred, “Yeah, rookie’s gotta learn who to talk back to, and who he should just leave be.

Meanwhile, Iron and Dustbowl were now locked in a staring match. The latter broke the silence. “You think you can tell me what to do, outsider?” he growled in a low tone, getting up from his chair.

“You think we should break it up?” asked the pegasus mare.

“Nah,” replied her chessmate.

Iron was now standing up in his face. How she could bear a ghoul’s breath was beyond me, but I figured it had to do with her pride taking precedence on her senses. It seemed to work, as the buck almost looked intimidated. “Listen here, radbrain. I get that it’s your first month on the job, and second month since you developed the ability to think, but if a pony asks for your boss by name, you give them what they want. The old ghoul owes me over two hundred caps, but if you want, I can just shoot you and take your equipment as payment.”

Behind me, the pegasus croaked, “Wait, the chief has debts? Kinda outta character for him, not gonna lie.” It slightly concerned me that even Iron’s threat wasn’t enough to get their attention away from the board.

The gate duty guard prepared a retort, staring into Iron’s eyes. Meanwhile, the unicorn at the table replied to his partner, “Well, I can think of one debt he has—wait a second.” Finally, the stallion looked up, and, spotting the young mare, his eyes lit up. “Iron!” he cried out.

“Not now, Buckshot,” she nonchalantly shouted back. To her conversation partner, she said, “You joined a gang, have some respect for yourself and the ponies around you.”

Dustbowl, who’d been taken aback by the revelation that they seemed to know each other, was thrown off his game and stammered, “W-what does it matter to you how I do my j-job? I get paid to look out for raiders, not guide d-dumb tourists! And I’m security, not some kind of gang pony!”

This evidently severely pissed off the pegasus, who bolted through the air on skeletal wings, almost slamming into the earth pony atop the gate. Poking at his chest with a hoof, she yelled, “Show some fucking respect! This filly’s a better shot than you could ever even dream to be.”

Okay. Iron was idolised around these parts, apparently.

The buck gulped, then promptly apologised to Iron. The unnamed mare motioned for us to follow her, and we complied. Buckshot also came with us.

“Sorry you had to deal with that imbecile.” The pegasus sighed. “He’s our newest recruit, and it’s kind of our fault, too. We told him he didn’t have to deal with any bullshit from passersby. He took it as an opportunity to be rude to everypony who dared talk to him.”

Arching a brow, I asked, “Why didn’t you tell him not to? He kinda made a fool of himself.”

The unicorn answered, “That’s exactly why. It’s hilarious to hear him get talked down, though lately he’s been getting better at smack talk, so now I think he’s just pissing ponies off. We should probably tell him to cool it.”

The pegasus sighed, then nodded in agreement. “Anyway, what brings you here, Iron? I don’t see it being just the caps. And I assume those are your clients?”

“Friends,” she stated, “and I’m just passing through. Heading for Manehattan, through Dodge.”

“Cool. The chief’s outta town at the moment, but he should come back in a few hours. After he pays you back, the three of us should have some drinks at my place.”

Surprised, Iron asked, “Wait, you have your own place now? When did that happen? I thought you guys preferred living together in a big house.”

“That became harder when more ponies joined us. Eventually, some smoothlips joined and really wanted to have their own rooms at least. We ended up renovating some of the least damaged buildings and moving in. I think you’ll like what we’ve done with the town!”

“I was hoping I could sleep in the house I’d previously stayed at, but I take it somepony took it over,” speculated Iron Sights.

“Nope! It’s yours. We owe you a lot, so the least we could do was to not touch your place. In case you ever came back around.” She stuck out her tongue. I’d never looked inside a ghoul’s mouth, but a tongue without some of the skin that usually covered it was gross. I must have made a face, as she heartily laughed. “Sorry about that, little one.” I grunted in complaint, but she just patted me on the head.

“I’m older than Iron!” I protested, my voice cracking, causing everypony present to laugh. Pleaaaase take me seriously.

Being the first to regain her composure, Iron uttered, “You shouldn’t tease her so much, Dragonbreath, she’s a very capable young mare.” I nodded proudly. Wait, her name is Dragonbreath? That’s cool as shit!

“Sorry, sorry,” she apologised lightheartedly. “It’s just that she looks so pure compared to your ugly mug.”

Iron huffed in mock offense. “At least I don’t look like my face was raped by a cheese grater.” Both laughed so hard they had to stop walking. It wasn’t that funny…

Noticing our befuddled looks, Dragonbreath explained, “Sorry, rape victim humour.” Both shared another bout of laughter, leaving the rest of us mortified. “Anyway, Iron, come by my place tonight for a drink.”

“How about you come to mine instead? You already know where it is.”

“Good point, will do. I’ll bring Rotrick, too,” the ghoul replied, then turned away. “See you then!”

I was absolutely lost. What just happened? As we trotted on forward, it took me a few seconds to realise I hadn’t actually asked it out loud. I repeated my question, this time for everypony to hear.

Iron replied, “Oh, Dragonbreath was my drinking buddy back when I stayed here for a few weeks. She and I only have a few things in common—our sense of humour being one of them.”

“You know, it’s still weird to hear a filly talking about drinking,” commented Banter. “It can’t be healthy for you.”

I had to admit, it worried me immensely as well to hear her talking about that stuff. She was a good pony when she was sober, but what if she became as horrible as my mother when she drank?

Iron laughed. “Oh yeah, by the way I feel afterwards, there’s no way it’s good for my body. Helps my soul, though.”

Concerned, I pleaded, “Doesn’t that mean you should drink a little less?”

“For somepony your age, ‘none at all’ would probably be even better,” concurred Petal.

Iron sighed emphatically. “I’ve heard that all before. Most ponies don’t care, but sometimes there’s the odd one out that does try to talk me out of it. The response I always end up giving them is that they should mind their own business.” The accusatory tone at the end of her sentence stung.

Scowling, I replied, “Sorry…” But now I was curious. “Out of curiosity, though… Why even do it if you know it’s bad for you?”

She sighed again. “Because I get sad a lot, and when I’m drunk, my brain forgets how to do sad or even angry, and I’m just happy for a couple of hours.” While that distanced her from my mother, I couldn’t help but think that wasn’t great, no matter how she spun it.

Banter scoffed. “Sounds like you’re an alcoholic.” Well no, that depends on how much she dr—

Before I could voice my rebuttal, Iron dismissed him, “Perhaps. What of it?”

“‘What of it?’? Simple. Somepony who’s constantly drunk is a fucking liability,” spat the buck with more venom than I’d ever heard in his voice.

“‘Constantly’? I haven’t drunk for weeks. Unlike other alcoholics, I know when I can afford to drink and when I can’t. I’ve learned the hard way that I’m not a good shot when I’m hungover,” retorted the filly, staring daggers at the yellow buck.

“We shouldn’t stand around here all day,” I stated in an attempt to defuse the situation. “Let’s go find the inn.” Iron wouldn’t need a room, but I hoped it would be a good excuse to detract from the topic. Both huffed, but didn’t say anything as we started walking along the bridge again.

If I remembered correctly, we would reach the main town within a quarter hour. Iron and I ended up walking ahead, while Banter and Petal stayed further behind.

Eventually, on our way there, we trotted past a few shooting targets mounted to the road’s railing. What confused me was that they were angled against the valley. Where were they shooting from? Having noticed my perplexed stare, Iron commented, “Oh, I see they moved the shooting range. This place seems way more practical.”

After I explained my confusion, she answered, “Well, I would wager it’s somewhere over there,” pointing at the path across the valley. I recognised the path, and knew we would be walking on it in less than a dozen minutes.

The bridge we were on would soon cross over to the other side, and the main road through the range would continue north alongside the hill. A much smaller path would split off right there, and lead south towards the town. Macintown had been built on a plateau near a ridge, and by far the safest way to reach it, as well as the only realistically feasible one.

It made sense its inhabitants would practice their shooting from there. Only problem was… “But… that’s super far. How difficult is this distance? Could you hit one of those targets with a proper rifle?”

In mock offense, she gasped. “This is a proper rifle! It’s one of the best all-around models, even.”

Desperately trying to recover from my misstep, I scrambled for words. “I meant a scoped rifle.”

“Then yeah. Well, I guess it would depend on the calibre it chambers. You can put a scope on a twenty-two, but you can’t stop the bullet from tumbling after barely hundred metres. But with a five-five-six or around that, this would be a breeze. Provided the scope is zeroed, of course.”

“Zeroed?” I asked, dragged along with her enthusiasm, despite usually not being interested in guns at all.

“Properly calibrated so that the bullet hits where it’s supposed to. Anyway, three-hundred metres is one of those distances where a scope isn’t really needed yet—if you know what you’re doing, that is. I doubt your average raider could hit us at this distance other than by accident. Three hundred metres is what pre-war ponies would shoot at for sport.”

I blinked in surprise. “There was a thing like shooting for sports?”

“Yeah. It’s part of why I suggested this distance for the Rotting Stones to train their marksponyship at. The other being is that it’s very reasonable to train defending a high vantage point like both bridge entry points.”

“The what now? Rotting Stones?”

“Are they no longer a thing? They were the gang controlling this pass last time I was here. Dragonbreath and Buckshot were both part of it.”

“As far as I know, the two of them are just regular Macintown security officers. Hmm… I’d actually really like to hear about the last time you were here.”

“Sure,” she replied, “but I think I’d rather sit down somewhere first. The story’s pretty long. How about I show you my house?”

Author's Note

Actually, I take my previous A/N back, I like this chapter a lot, even if it could be a lot better.

Chapter 10.2 — Macintown

Chapter 10.2

After I paid the toll, the gate in front of me started lifting, revealing a rudimentary wooden construct, as well as a pegasus ghoul holding me at gunpoint. She was aiming two shotguns mounted on a battle saddle at me.

“Don’t shoot!” I pleaded. She didn’t have a reason to, but I preferred to play it safe.

“Not the plan. I’m just here so you don’t get any funny ideas,” explained the mare. I had to admit, I was quite worried she might accidentally shoot me. I knew first hoof how easy it was to accidentally pull a trigger when talking.

“I’m not looking for trouble, I swear. I’m just passing through.”

She lifted an eyebrow. “You coming from Dodge?” I nodded. “I see. Leaving ‘cause of the bandit attacks?”

I shook my head. “Not exactly. The bandit attacks were why I stayed there for as long as I did. I was hoping to get a job guarding some caravans, but always ended up getting denied.”

She pushed the trigger bit away from her mouth. I suspected it was equally out of comfort and as a show of good faith. “Oh, you’re a gun for hire? I thought you looked a bit young, but I suppose you might be just short.” She thought I looked young and still aimed a gun at me?

“Yeah, that’s exactly why nopony would hire me. A rumour got out that I really am a foal. Not a single caravan would accept my help then,” I lied through my teeth. Well, it wasn’t a complete lie, anyway. In the end, they didn’t want to work with me because they thought I was just a kid; it didn't matter that they were actually right.

“Well… if you’re still looking for work, we happen to need some help. You’ll need to talk out the details with our boss, Rotrick, though.”

This took me by surprise, and I happily chirped, “Gladly!” I immediately corrected myself, “Uh, I mean, gladly, if the pay is right.” I didn’t wanna sound as desperate as I was.

I almost couldn’t believe my luck, though. First place after I’d left Dodge city, and I’d already gotten a job!

Up until then, I’d been scrounging by, finding the occasional bag or can of food, but overall struggling. The extra caps this would bring in would allow me to finally eat properly for the first time in weeks. Ever since I’d parted ways with Bricks, work and caps had been very sparse. I’d even resorted to some rather immoral ways to survive, such as thievery.

“Wait here for a second. I’d lead you there myself, but I don’t like abandoning gate duty for longer than necessary,” the mare told me before flying off. I couldn’t help but be amazed that a pony could fly even with her wings in such a condition. How were they even keeping her afloat? There was no way they moved enough air… Probably magic, I thought.

Soon after, she returned. “Cool, turns out I found the boss faster than expected, he’ll get here soon. Wanna chat till then?”

“Sure, why not?” I replied insincerely. I didn’t want to deal with small talk, but I also didn’t want to get on her wrong side. That was the last thing I needed right now.

“You any good with that rifle of yours?” She pointed to the semi-automatic strapped to my back, which I’d gotten from my attackers near New Appleloosa.

“I’m pretty confident in it, but I haven’t really had the chance to compare my shooting to other mercenaries. I’m definitely better than the average raider, if my trip by the Pony Joe’s near Dodge is anything to judge my skills by.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You mean you cleared a raider camp all alone?”

I nodded. “Well, I wasn’t alone, but my companion only killed one of them. Although, he probably could’ve taken on the entire band.” I hesitated for a moment. “Or maybe not. Anyway, he stayed by my side and only smashed the last raider’s skull when she came into striking range.” He blinked in surprise, and I added, “I don’t expect you to believe me. Dodge City’s citizens didn’t believe me either.”

“I’ll admit I have my doubts. If you’d told me you fought them off with your bare hooves, I definitely would have called your bluff, but you might just be as good a shot as you claim to be.” Not only had she believed my lie about my age, but she also believed this? This was almost too good to be true. Maybe talking to her wasn’t as bad as I thought. “Oh, I haven’t introduced myself, have I? Name’s Dragonbreath.”

“Iron Sights,” I replied. “Nice to meet you,” I added almost genuinely.

We continued idly chatting for a few more minutes before another ghoul joined us. He took a look at me, then turned to Dragonbreath, frowning. “You… told me to hire a filly?”

I was about to protest, but the mare took my defense quicker than I could. “She’s not a filly. Can’t you tell by the look on her face? She’s clearly just a bit short.”

The buck raised an eyebrow, then examined me with his gaze. I gave him my best murderous stare, and he admitted defeat to Dragonbreath. “If you say so.” Turning to me again, he said, “Follow me to town.”

I nodded and started trotting forward. “So, Miss…?” he started.

“Iron Sights.”

“So, Iron, with a name like yours, I suspect you know how to shoot a rifle. Would you mind showing me once we get to the main base? Just to make sure you have what it takes.”

At first, I interpreted this comment as him doubting my skills because of my young appearance. Before I could protest, however, I realised it was something he would likely ask anypony in this position. “Yeah, of course,” I responded.

We spent the rest of the way there discussing the terms. I was to be paid ten caps a day for basic guard duty for two weeks, possibly longer. He didn’t really know how the situation would evolve, but they did have a problem with a huge group of raiders attacking ponies in the region. He was afraid they would attack the gang to take over their territory some time soon, but there was also the chance they would simply ignore the ghouls altogether.

On top of the pay, they would get me food and water for free. Apparently there was an untainted spring around here and lots of preserved food. I normally would have complained about having to eat pre-spell food for two weeks straight, but in my current famished state, I drooled over the idea of filling my stomach.

Of course, on top of guard duty, I would also have to help mount a defense, should push come to shove. This was the primary reason for my presence here, after all. As an incentive, I would get an extra twenty caps for each enemy I would down. And I’d get paid for any ammo used during the attack.

As Rotrick led me to the town, one of the things that stood out to me were the—mostly broken—wind turbines scattered around the hills. Those weren’t a common sight in the wasteland, as Equestria’s primary sources of energy were based on other resources. However, due to the peculiar geography of this place, it wasn’t so surprising to find at least some of those here.

Another thought struck me, and I promptly voiced it. “Say, if my time in the wasteland has taught me anything, it’s that forests are generally bad news. Don’t you have issues with the wildlife around here?”

Without looking back, he answered, “Not really. We don’t usually venture out into the denser parts of the forest where I suspect most critters stay. At night it’s a bit of a different story, ‘cause some of them dare to come onto the roads, but never approach our place. And even then, it’s rather uncommon to see one, but it is something that keeps us from wandering around too far after sunset.”

I felt myself raise an eyebrow, despite not making eye contact. “So you don’t have ponies doing guard duty at night? Otherwise you’d constantly be losing members to the wildlife.”

“Oh, the beasts never bother getting that far out of the forest, either. Don’t worry about that. It’s mostly the paths that pass by clusters of trees that are worrisome at night. One such path would be the one leading to the spring we get our water from, or the one connecting the village to the bridge. It’s why night shifts are so unpopular. The safest place to spend the night—apart from the town, that is—is usually right by the gate, and you pretty much have to stay there all night, even if you’re only scheduled for a few hours.”

“That sounds inconvenient,” I admitted.

“You’re telling me…”

To my right, the hill continued upwards, to my left, downwards. In the distance, I could see a turn in the road, with a building next to it. As we slowly approached it, more houses appeared behind the corner. The yards looked like they used to be large gardens, but in their current state, they were little above pitiful. In fact, they only consisted of patches of dead grass and mud. The skeletal remains of a hedge surrounded one of these parcels.

Most of the buildings looked relatively intact, the only damage being the paint peeling off, as well as a couple missing tiles. A few, however, were missing parts of their roof or had large holes in their façades.

I was surprised by how… ordinary this place looked. I didn’t know what I had been expecting, but this resembled the average ruined suburban town. Maybe I thought a gang of ghouls would live differently from the norm? Perhaps it was the lack of radioactive material that threw me off.

Rotrick led me further into town, and a building close to the edge stood out to me. Time had eroded most of the earth around it, leaving its concrete foundation to stick out to the back side. It seemed dangerously close to simply sliding down into the valley.

The ghoul buck turned around to face me. “I’m gonna need to set up the bottles for you to shoot at, so wait here for a bit.” Over the next five or so minutes, he did just that. After walking away from the makeshift targets, he motioned for me to start shooting.

I was confused, though. “How far back should I go?” I asked him, unsure of how exactly to ask it. I couldn’t really move away far enough without breaking line of sight.

“Oh, from here will do just fine.”

“No offense, sir, but… it’s barely fifty-ish metres,” I hesitated, hoping I wasn’t crossing a line.

“It’s good enough. We’re not looking for sharpshooters, just anypony that will help us gun down raiders.” The buck cleared his throat, producing an unnatural sound in the process. “See, we lost a few members in the past week or two, and we’ve never been a very aggressive bunch, so anypony who can handle a gun will do.” A gang whose members weren’t wild about fighting? Was that as strange as I thought, or was my mind poisoned by pre-war literature that always painted them in such a light?

Regardless, I didn’t dare doubt the ghoul and simply unholstered my IFD-10 semi-automatic rifle, undid the safety, and shot down the bottles as quickly as I was comfortable. As expected, it wasn’t any challenge, except for the thoughts at the back of my head whining about wasting precious ammunition on such a menial task.

When I looked over to Rotrick, his expression was somewhere between pleased and slightly impressed. “Well, that’s all I needed to see. Would you mind starting in a few hours? I’d need to reschedule some shifts, but I think Buckshot would appreciate getting the afternoon off. We’ve all been working our flanks off trying to keep this place safe ever since the raiders showed up, but he and his sister have been working harder than any of us.” At my raised eyebrow, he quickly added, “His sister being Dragonbreath, that is.”

“Sure, I have no problem with that.” If I get paid an extra day, I added mentally. I couldn’t tell if it would be rude to say it out loud. I really needed this job.

Afterwards, he showed me where I could sleep. I was given the choice between staying at the common heated dorm or getting my own place—a small, relatively intact pre-war house nearby. Given that my bedroll was warm enough, I opted for some privacy. He left me to my devices, and I ended up reading an old fantasy novel that had somehow survived all these years in the home. It didn’t bring forth any particularly original concepts, but was a fun read nonetheless.

When he later came by, I left the book here, along with all my other distracting belongings. As much as I dreaded boredom, I wanted to do a good job. I wanted to prove myself and show him he’d made the right choice. Too bad the book was really interesting, and I’d gotten so drawn in that I craved reading it some more.

As my shift started, I found my thoughts continuously drifting towards the book I’d closed earlier. Realising I was getting distracted, I decided to focus my attention on observing the wasteland before me. In the far distance, the land stretched on all the way to the horizon, its monotonous, reddish-brown flatness only interrupted by the occasional giant boulders.

My eyes followed the road from where it disappeared behind the horizon back towards myself. I noticed a few blotches of brown that I could only assume to be scorpions—I’d seen a few on my way here. Raising the binoculars that had been lent to me, I took a better look. They were simply scuttling forward across the road. As quickly as they’d caught my interest, they lost it again.

My gaze continued to follow the road, and I wondered how far the next settlement was from here. Memories of walking towards Fillydelphia alongside Candy resurfaced and rapidly led to me missing her. I suddenly craved a nice sip of wine. I couldn’t, though. What if Rotrick noticed and decided to fire me? Besides, I’d left my recently opened bottle in my saddlebags back in the village.

The hours painfully crawled by as I had absolutely nothing to do except watch and contemplate my life, my brain torturing me with bad memories. Regrets kept piling up, my train of thought constantly returning to the same exact ones. How I’d caused Candy unnecessary suffering, and how I’d ultimately caused her death. Those thoughts played on loop in my head until I couldn't take it anymore.

As my mind continued to fog up with remorse, I found myself unable to focus on anything else. I eventually decided to write about it on my PipBuck, if only to hopefully get it out of my system. At first I’d hesitated, but given how good the visibility was from up here, I figured it would be okay if I distracted myself. As long as I looked up from time to time, it would be fine.

Finally, after what felt like three eternities, evening came around, and I was free to leave as my replacement arrived. Despite how badly I’d wanted to continue reading my novel earlier in the day, now I simply wanted to sleep. How could boredom be so exhausting? I wanted to drink, but I didn’t have much left and wasting it on a short evening wouldn’t be very smart. Maybe one of the ghouls had some they’d be willing to share? Though I didn’t really feel like asking them. Too much effort. I’d just call it an early night.

My plans to avoid pony interactions came to an end as soon as I entered Macintown. “So, how was your first shift, rookie?” rasped somepony above me.

I tried my best to not sound like I was complaining. “Uneventful,” I replied as she landed next to me.

“If by that you mean boring as all fuck, then that’s just how gate duty is. The boss shoulda told you to grab a book or something.” Now I felt silly, but still as unmotivated for small talk. Wait, is she recommending bad work ethic?

“Yeah, I’ll remember to do that for next time. Now I just want to get some shut-eye.” No matter her intentions, I would not be roped into talking to her any longer.

“Aw, really? That sucks. I was hoping you’d join me and the boys for a drink.”

I felt my ears perk up and the corners of my mouth stretch into a thin smile. Probably wasn’t a good sign, but in the moment, I couldn’t care less. “I wasn’t aware that was an option. ”

“Getting drunk is always an option around these parts, my dear. We’re a gang of ghouls with nowhere to go, and we control a—somewhat—popular route. Drinking is what we live for.”

“Great, I’ll go grab my bottle, then.”

The rest of the evening was spent leisurely chatting about any and every topic with Dragonbreath and her brother. I ended up learning that three gang members had died in an ambush set by the raiders. This only left five ponies to perform gate duty—Rotrick, Buckshot, Dragonbreath, and two others whose names I ended up forgetting. With three shifts a day and two gates, this ended up leaving one of them to do a double shift every day. I’d gotten a shorter shift today, and wasn’t looking forward to staring at the wasteland for twice as long, nevermind four times.

To my relief, they were expecting at least two more hired guns to help them out. At first I wondered a little how they could afford that, but Dragonbreath’s earlier comment came back to mind. Of course they would have some caps set aside. Still, how hard could a couple of raiders be to kill? Would we really need extra ponies just for that? Give me a good gun and I could easily hunt them down.

The answer came when I was told just how massive this group of raiders really was. Around three dozen. To a stable pony that wouldn’t have been a lot, given that mine was home to six hundred and seventy-one by the time I left. On a wasteland scale, however, that amount was absolutely gargantuan. A group like this was enough to raze most settlements. It was even enough to potentially give the larger communities a rough time. If those raiders got to Dodge, they would most likely end up hitting the town hard, and nothing short of a fully mounted defense would help the townsfolk.

Luckily, what happened to Dodge City was none of my concern, and I had high hopes of defending this point in particular. Given how good the vantage point of the southern gate was, I had no doubt we’d be able to gun down most of the attackers before they even came close. Though there was maybe the risk of them coming through the forest.

Neither of the siblings seemed to share my optimism, but the mood was so light they joined in my cheering and boasting.

I even ended up drinking a bit of Wild Pegasus whiskey. Now that I was used to the taste of alcohol, the sharp sting of the liquor didn’t bother me as much. Still, it could never even hope to beat wine.

Over the next three days, I slowly adapted to life as a guardsmare. I ended up being assigned the afternoon shift, from around noon until sunset. There was the option I’d get assigned the night shift as well if somepony wanted to swap with me. Apparently, the ponies living here enjoyed switching their shifts around so as to not always hang out with the same people. I could understand why. After three nights of drinking with the twins, I’d felt like I was starting to run out of topics with them. It wasn’t like their presence was boring—it certainly beat drinking alone—but the conversations had lost some of their original charm.

On duty, I would read books and write diary entries, all while looking up once in a while. Occasionally, a band of travellers would come up to the gate and pay for passage. I had to endure some comments about my age, but more ponies were pleasantly surprised to find a non-ghoul at the gate. Sometimes I would spot shady figures in the distance, walking across the road, but never getting anywhere close to the gate or the hills.

During my time off, I’d also learned a bit about how the gang survived. The nearby source turned out to be clean enough for me to drink. So much as to not even set off my PipBuck’s clicking. Down in the valley, there was a crashed skywagon whose spark reactor leaked into the pond, and apparently that was enough for ghouls to survive off of.

The only thing this town lacked was a reliable source of power, which I found rather ironic, due to the abundance of pre-war wind turbines around these parts. Thus, spark batteries were one of the things they traded for.

Their primary way of making caps was through the toll, but Rotrick would also manage to turn profits from trading with visitors. They would buy certain items off some travellers, then sell them to others for an increased cost. Occasionally, a group of ponies stayed the night. What surprised me was how rare this was; were others really that afraid of non-feral ghouls?

Overall, life here was comfortable and safe, if boring. So much so that I might have opted to stay, if I’d given up on my revenge sooner. Well, provided they would have let me. As it stood, though, I only stayed there in order to earn enough caps to survive the next few weeks or months.

On the fourth day, another two ponies arrived, and my schedule was changed. I would now take the night shift along with one of them, a fellow unicorn by the name of Cobalt. Because I was advised against returning to their base at night, I ended up having to chat with the buck for a few hours of his shift, until I could leave. Although, the chatting was mostly one-sided anyway.

He was the chatty kind that I had no patience for when sober. He would rant to me about how much he hated ghouls and was only doing this for the pay, and expected me to care. No matter how little I replied to him, he kept on talking, until I eventually decided to turn the conversation in a direction I liked.

“So, Cobalt, that’s a nice carbine you have.” The only interesting thing about this buck was the gun strapped to his back.

“Yer tellin’ me. This baby’s a striped pre-war automatic. Only thing zeebs were good for was makin’ guns, turns out.” He laughed so loudly that I could have sworn it gave me a headache. “It’s made to last, I’m tellin’ ya.”

He continued to ramble on about the gun’s details for a good ten minutes. To my utter dismay, he was irritating even when talking about something as interesting as firearms. Perhaps it was the nonchalant way in which he spoke of them, like he lacked any respect for them. Even the way he handled it made me angry.

Eventually, he finished with, “This ain’t anything those stupid zombies could appreciate. Have you seen the way those morons hold guns? The pegasus chick in particular. None of them deserve to have such cool toys.” He laughed heartily again, making me wish I were somewhere else, for the sixth time that night. “If it was just down to me, I’d gun them down and leave this place before them raiders show up.”

He then turned to me, locking eyes with me. “Ya any good with yours?” he asked, pointing at my rifle.

“I would think so,” I replied unenthusiastically.

His mouth was twisted in an oddly playful, devilish smile. “So, what do you say, do we kill them and steal their shit?”

“No, thanks,” I stated flatly. Truth be told, I almost wanted him to try so that I could have his rifle after we killed him.

“Lame. Don’t even think of telling them, though, I’ll deny it through my teeth and kill you afterwards.” I’d like to see him try, I thought. Interesting, though. He dropped his accent when threatening me.

I emphatically rolled my eyes. “Yeah, whatever. Wasn’t gonna.”

The next day, I was scheduled for the same time, but thankfully this time the morning shift was to be taken by Dragonbreath, so I wouldn’t have to deal with Cobalt’s obnoxiousness. While Dragonbreath was no Candy, she was still much more tolerable than the unicorn buck.

A downside to night shifts was that I really couldn’t see much, so the radscorpions that would normally draw my gaze weren’t much help with fighting off boredom. Thankfully, I still had a pile of books I wanted to get through, though it was growing worryingly small. How long until I’d be forced to go back to literature I was already done with? Most of the books I had had been fun on the first read, but I couldn’t tell how well they’d fare on a revisit.

I was glad I didn’t have to worry about accidentally waking my shift relief, as she didn’t need to spend the night here and would join me in time. One of the many upsides to being a pegasus.

Thus, I was very surprised when she suddenly showed up near the middle of my shift, carrying a bottle of wine and another of Stalliongrad vodka.

“Sup, Iron,” she greeted, landing next to me on the gate.

“Hey,” I hesitated. “You’re a few hours early, you know that?” And what’s with the alcohol? I wanted to ask.

“Well, I figured you’d be bored outta your skull by now, and I wanted to talk,” explained the ghoul. “I can leave if you want, but I’ll be taking the booze,” she chirped.

“I mean, I guess I’m fine with the company, but I don’t think getting drunk on the job is responsible.”

She giggled, her raspy voice producing a very odd sound. “My, how diligent you are.” She paused to smile at me. “Trust me, girl, nothing happens at night. It’s even more boring than during the day.” She placed the wine bottle right in front of me in emphasis.

Well… I couldn’t say no to that, could I? “I suppose you’re right…” I levitated out my pocket knife and got to work uncorking the bottle. Once it was out far enough, I simply tugged on it with my telekinesis. When I took a sip from the bottle, I was pleasantly surprised to find it tasted better than what I usually got to drink. It was almost as good as the stuff from the memory orb. “This is good stuff,” I told my partner, who’d already drank twice that amount in vodka. Being a ghoul meant she needed to drink a lot more to get intoxicated. Coupled with a high tolerance from regular consumption, the gang members consumed far more liquor than most wasteland ponies.

“Heh, it should. It’s from my personal stash that I keep mostly for my friends and guests. It’s not worth wasting on somepony who just wants to get drunk, especially when that pony can’t actually taste it. I know you can appreciate it, though.”

Did she want a favour from me? “What’s the occasion?”

For a moment, her expression was a mixture of confusion and surprise, before she relaxed and gently shook her head. “Eh, it’s not like I was gonna drink it. Figured I might as well get you the good stuff for our girls’ night.”

“Girls’ night? Just the two of us? What about… what were their names again?”

“You just answered your own question. There’s no point in a girls’ night if you barely know the others. There’s certain things you don’t wanna tell strangers.” Then again, her and I weren’t that close either, were we?

“Can’t argue with that,” I answered before taking another small swig.

“So, I don’t think you ever told me where you’re from.”

“Well, I’m fr—”

She interrupted me mid-sentence, “Wait, wait, wait, lemme make some guesses! Are you from around Manehattan? I heard there was a band of mercs there that ended up getting wiped when they ventured into a pre-war factory. Are you their sole survivor?”

“No, but interesting guess.”

“Are you from Filly, and were born into slavery, only to break out?”

“What? No.”

“Raised by raiders?”

“Why are you trying to give me the worst possible backstory?”

“I’m not! It’s just… Those are the first things that come to mind when I look at your face. You must’ve lived one hell of a rough life. Even most old bucks aren’t as scarred as you, girl.”

“What about ponies as ancient as you? Are those usually as scarred as me?” I teased, starting to relax due to the alcohol.

“Uh, you might be overestimating my age.”

I gave her a puzzled look. “How old are you?” I was expecting to have to be asked the same question, and would have to lie in response. Would she believe I was twenty? Eighteen?

“Twenty-two.”

My jaw dropped. “I didn’t know there were ghouls this young.” Immediately after uttering those words, I realised how silly they were. “I mean, I knew it was possible, I’d just never met anypony so young who was a ghoul.” Then again, I’d only really known a single ghoul prior. For some reason I’d assumed they were all that old.

“It’s a surprisingly common thought process. Buckshot and I are a lot younger than the rest of the Rotting Stones, too. The oldest is the boss, with his hundred and fifty years.” She drank multiple massive gulps. Despite knowing that ghouls had no sense of taste, it impressed me that anypony could drink that liquid garbage without throwing up.

She gave a content sigh. “You know, it amazes me how at ease you’re around us ghoulies. I kinda got used to being regarded as sub-equine trash by a good chunk of ponies. And even among the ones that treat you like you were once a pony, they rarely act like you still are. They tend to be a little bit more nervous around you. Nothing they do on purpose, but it still hurts. It’s like they’re unsure if we’re feral or not. Really sucks.”

I shrugged. “Where I’m from, you kill so many ferals that you learn to differentiate. It’s kinda obvious by the way y’all move.”

“Right! Weren’t you gonna tell me where you were from?” she exclaimed, startling me.

“Oh, yeah. I’m from a stable in the Cold North.”

There would have been many reactions I’d have expected from her then and there. Laughter was definitely not one of them, and she just wasn’t stopping. I stared at her for a long while before she realised it. Then, her expression finally turned to surprise and shock. “Wait, you’re serious? You look about as far from a sheltered stablefilly as they come.”

“I got hurt doing a lot of dumb things because I didn’t know any better. I’m not a gruff mercenary like my appearance may apparently suggest. I’m just somepony who had to learn things the hard way.” To prove my point, I pulled out my stable jumpsuit from my saddlebags. I hadn’t been wearing it much lately because of how tight it had gotten, but it was still useful for how cold it got at night.

As the conversation continued, and we grew increasingly intoxicated, our topics became more and more serious, unlike the tone of the conversation. Under the influence, I couldn’t help but laugh off every bad thing that had happened to me, while my ghoul friend laughed with me, occasionally sharing her own stories. It didn’t surprise me too much to find out she’d had a similarly difficult life to my own.

After a few hours, we eventually ran out of meaningful topics, but neither of us cared. We simply talked about mundane things, still laughing at absolutely everything. Apparently, I tolerated small talk much better than when I was sober.

Given my limited supply of books, I decided to find other things to do while off duty. Through Rotrick, I ended up getting my hooves on a helpful guide to reloading ammunition using empty casings. The book even had recommended amounts of powder for each type of round. The process was more tedious than difficult, though it was still enough to kill time. The main ingredient I was lacking was rifle gunpowder. I’d opened a few cartridges of calibres I had no use for, but that was all I had.

The ghoul who’d previously used this reloading bench was one of the three who was killed in the raiders’ ambush. She’d also been the one to set up the shooting range further in the valley.

Staying here was a bit weird. I didn’t like staying in one place for so long, given that I should have been working on my plans for revenge. However, I needed the caps. I wished I had some kind of book with spells for me to learn. Practicing my telekinesis was one thing, but I could never defeat that alicorn with just strong enough levitation. I needed to be more versatile. If only I still had that book… Then again, it wasn’t that great for learning new spells, it was really more of a compendium.

Teleportation was still as stressful as ever to practice. I would aim to cast it a few times each day, but didn’t dare to truly strain my magic. I could somewhat easily teleport my own body alone, but the moment I was wearing my heavy saddlebags or even just some barding, the toll it took on my horn became considerable. On top of that, it was so easy to accidentally burn out when casting it that I was afraid to really push any of my limits.

As more days passed by, I grew more and more bored of this place. I’d run out of powder and so had basically nothing to do. I’d aimlessly walk around the safe parts of the valley, desperately hoping something would happen soon. I could handle raiders, but I apparently couldn’t handle boredom. It got so bad that I ended up experimenting with one of the dynamos from the wind turbines, but never got to anything that could actually produce power.

I was sleeping off a mild hangover when I was awoken by somepony screaming outside. Given how urgent it sounded, there was only one explanation for this. I hurried to my hooves and splashed my face with some cold water. Rifle floating beside me, I stepped outside to make sure I was interpreting the situation correctly.

The source of the commotion turned out to be Dragonbreath. When she saw me approaching, she shouted, “Get ready! They’re here! They took me by surprise!”

Wait, they were here already? I would have thought we’d need at least half an hour to prepare once they were sighted. This… wasn’t good. I bolted inside and put on my armour. Given the rush, I only put on my peytral and front greaves before running out again. I wasn’t sure if it was the wisest decision, but I didn’t have time to hesitate. Hopefully this would be enough.

Dragonbreath had waited for me while others rushed to the town’s entrance. “Where are they?” I asked the mare.

“I flew straight here when they jumped out of the forest, so we should have maybe ten more minutes before they arrive.” Of course they wouldn’t approach the gate from the front; why would they attempt to attack us if we had such a good vantage point. We’d foolishly assumed they would stay out of the woods because of monsters, but we’d been dead wrong. Thankfully, we’d been lucky enough to have our pegasus on watch duty when they chose to put their plan into motion.

However, if they were still going alongside the bridge… “Hey DeeBee, could you do me a favour? Could you fly me up on the house near the village’s entrance?” It had a roof flat enough for me to comfortably shoot from. Plus, it was the only building visible from the bridge, so I suspected I could get a clear shot on both the bridge and the path leading to the village. I could also probably take cover behind the roof’s ridge.

She nodded and wrapped her hooves around my midsection. With how close she pressed me towards herself, I could clearly feel how… squishy… she was. It wasn’t particularly pleasant, but I tried my best to hide my discomfort.

Once in the air, I could see the group on the bridge, on the other side of the valley. I couldn’t make out many details at this distance, especially without my binoculars, but they certainly looked like raiders do from afar. I also spotted a few ghouls organising an ambush inside the town proper. Good plan. As the mare set me down on the side of the roof facing away from the attackers, she told me, “I’ll get you some things. Do you need more ammo?”

Right, I’d completely forgotten I only had a dozen shots—my current magazine. “Yeah, some five-point-five-six rounds would be nice.”

As she flew away, I adjusted my position on the roof. With the slope, it was awkward to get a good angle, but I eventually managed. I unharnessed my rifle and placed it on the rim. Keeping my balance with the recoil would be difficult, but should stay feasible. By then, I’d gotten used to my inner ear injury enough to not be too bothered by it on a daily basis. However, I didn’t have to lay prone on a slope several metres above the ground every day either.

Aiming from a prone position was always much easier than trying to keep my telekinesis steady. This was the reason why even earth ponies could become amazing snipers. I lined up the iron sights with one of the silhouettes marching along the bridge and pulled the trigger. After a short delay, he stumbled. I assumed I hit him, but I couldn’t tell if I’d pierced his barding. This sent panic in the crowd, as they tried to scramble away from him. I pulled the trigger again as a pony ran where I’d been aiming, and blood splashed near his or her hindquarters.

I didn’t recover properly from the last shot and missed my next one, cursing my impatience. Unfortunately, the original moment of panic was over, as I heard bullets hit the roof, some whizzing past my head. None of them really came close, but it was still stressful to know that a stray bullet could end my life here and now.

Next thing I knew, Dragonbreath landed behind me, several clips in her muzzle, and in the helmet pressed against her chest. I hid behind cover, wrapped my aura around them, and levitated them towards me.

“The helmet’s for you as well, you know,” she remarked, and I quickly realised the helmet actually had a horn cutout.

Floating it onto my head, I replied, “Oh, thanks.” Then, it struck me that she wasn’t wearing any barding at all. “What about you, though?”

“It would only slow me down,” she rebutted. I wasn’t sure if the trade-off was worth it, but this wasn’t the moment to argue about this. She took off again, and I changed my spot to hopefully throw off the raiders.

I had three advantages over them so far; I was behind somewhat good cover, could shoot from a prone position, and actually knew how to aim. I would occasionally miss some shots on the moving targets, but eventually learned to compensate for the delay between me pulling the trigger and the bullet hitting my target. As the worst case came to be, my left ear started ringing, the usual sign my sense of balance was about to be thrown off. I hugged the roof for dear life, not daring to try anything while my head spun.

After maybe a minute, I dared sit upright and resume the attack. Some ponies were now on the path to the village, and were running in zigzag motions, while others kept attempting to shoot at me. I kept shooting until a bullet pinged off my helmet, and I thanked Dragonbreath for saving my life. Unfortunately, that brought back the dizziness, and I found myself unable to move yet again.

Fuck, I thought, if I give in to cowardice here, they’ll just get to me before I can do anything. I had to at least reduce their numbers if I wanted us to have a chance at beating them once they entered the town proper. I was thankful for Dragonbreath, who was flying over them with her battle saddle, drawing some attention away from me. She wasn’t very lethal, but she sure was a distraction.

I forced myself up, taking aim. Now that they were this close, I didn’t need the pinpoint accuracy of a rifle resting on something solid. I wrapped the entire firearm in magic, and started shooting much faster, wasting a lot more ammunition, but also killing my enemies much easier.

Unfortunately, a raider had gotten close enough to lob a grenade at me. I had the common sense to try and deflect it with my magic, but dropped my rifle on the other side of the roof in the process. I could hear it slide down the tiles. On top of that, the explosive went off close enough to make me lose balance. I stumbled backwards, and stepped on a loose tile, slipping.

Falling, I shrieked. When I hit the ground, pain spread throughout my whole body. The impact itself knocked the wind out of my lungs, while the small rocks dug into my back, sending fiery agony through it. If I had been able to think at that moment, I would have regretted not putting on my back barding. The world turned to black, and the only thought on my mind was, Is this the end?

I didn’t know how long I’d been unconscious, but it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes. I could hear my friend’s voice talking to me. “Hang in there, Iron. You’ll be fine. We’ll be fine thanks to you.”

By the time we got to the back of town, I’d regained most of my wits. She gently placed me behind a house and turned away. I started getting up, feeling my bruises and fractured bones throughout my body. Dragonbreath scolded me. “Don’t move. We got it, chill. And you don’t even have a gun.”

I could just get my pistol, and… “But I can—”

“No. Stay put.” She shook her head. “Please.”

Fortunately for her, I fainted from the pain in my back and back leg. Dear stars, I hoped it wasn’t broken.

I stayed here another week, recovering. Who knew a simple fall from a house could leave me in such a pitiful state?

While I’d been passed out, the gang had successfully ambushed the remaining attackers and gotten rid of them without any casualties. It turned out that the raiders I had wounded ended up being left behind, and I’d overall taken enough of them out of the equation for the ghouls to overwhelm the dozen lowlives that did end up in the village.

According to Dragonbreath, Buckshot alone had a headcount of seven. When asked about it, she just said, “I mean, we didn’t choose our names for no reason. I’m shit at combat, but I’m a great distraction. He’s the actually lethal one.” I wished I could have seen him in action. The other hired guns had also managed to help us.

Unfortunately, Rotrick had miscalculated his budget and wasn’t able to pay me in full. Given that he’d paid over half of what I’d been supposed to get, we agreed to leave it as a debt. That, and I ended up picking up a few of the rifles the raiders had brought. Most were in terrible condition, but nothing beyond repair if one had the necessary spare parts. And so, while I recovered, I spent some time fixing up one or two, while scrapping the rest for parts. Hopefully they’d sell for quite a bit.

Still, I wanted a zebra automatic rifle like Cobalt owned.

Footnote:

New Perk: Lady Death — You gain damage against everything, because you like killing everything.

Chapter 12 — Trust

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 10.4 — Ponyville

Ponyville

A bullet whizzed by my head and pinged off the stone road, right behind me. A second later, a shot echoed from somewhere near the centre of the town. Instinctively, I tried to activate SATS, but the spell failed. The shooter was probably out of range. Thinking quickly, I bolted behind the nearest house, into an alleyway where I sat down, panting. My head was spinning, my left ear ringing loudly, and my heart pounding heavily in my chest from the effort and adrenaline.

I don’t know why I thought a historic site such as Ponyville would be free of raiders, I mentally berated myself. Well, I guess they aren’t necessarily raiders, just ponies that shoot first, ask questions never.

Given the delay between the bullet and the sound, the sniper had to be quite far away. I hadn’t taken the time to check out possible vantage points, so trying to fight her would have been way too risky. I was definitely at a disadvantage here, even with my fine marksponyship. This was one of the few situations where I regretted not having a larger calibre scoped rifle. Though even a scope wouldn’t necessarily give me time to find out where the sniperpony was. She knew where I was however, and taking too long might get my head blown off.

Now, the question remained how I would get out of this predicament. The sniperpony most likely had vision on both sides of the alley I was hiding out in. My only edge was my ability to teleport. I’d learned that not too many ponies expected unicorns to know that spell, and even fewer really understood how to deal with it. I could definitely understand why; the spell was a massive pain to learn. Too bad that with my current equipment, I couldn’t cast it far or often.

This left me with two main options. I could either sprint out of the alley, zig-zag to try and throw off her aim, then teleport to safety. Only issue was that I’d still be out in the open way longer than I was comfortable with. She’d almost hit me earlier, and I had no way of knowing if it was a fluke, or if I was actually at risk of getting shot. I did have healing potions, but I preferred to not take the risk.

The other possibility was to try and teleport into the house behind me and hope that would give me another opportunity to flee. Plus, while two blinks in a row were too much for my horn to handle, if I spread them out, I could avoid the risk of burning out. Maybe I could even sprint out from the next house and close the distance a bit already. I couldn’t say I was comfortable teleporting into a space I couldn’t see, however. Plus, staying in there to rest wasn’t guaranteed to get me out of the woods, either. This sniper definitely had allies, who could try and swarm me at any moment. Maybe they were already on their way…

Fuck it, I had to make a run for it. My barding wasn’t rated for sniper or even regular rifle rounds, but it would definitely help soften the blow a bit. Just in case, I took out two of the potions in my bag and strapped them to my military harness. I stood up and ran as fast as I could, making sure to alter my trajectory every few seconds. Whenever I heard a shot ping off the ground, I would sprint straight ahead, knowing she needed to cycle the action.

When my sense of balance left me once again, I opted to continue straight, hoping the enemy sniper wasn’t that good. If I fell on my rump now, I’d be screwed, no matter how much zig-zagging I’d have done. As I charged up the teleport, a bullet whizzed past my head. That… might have taken my other ear off, had I not been wearing a helmet.

After I materialised behind the furthest building, I felt like absolute death. I was coughing and wheezing, while my head throbbed painfully. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears, loudly enough to overpower the usual ringing. My head was spinning, and the taste of copper filled my mouth. My vision blurred, and I had to concentrate to see things clearly. I am not made for physical effort, I mentally whinged.

I was momentarily safe, but also really close to passing out. I turned to my saddlebags and took out the tablets I’d kept just for such an occasion. I honestly should have taken one before even attempting my wild sprint, but who could blame me for being reluctant to take powerful drugs. I pulled out my canteen as I placed a Buck into my mouth and chewed it into dust, grimacing at the terribly bitter pill. I then tried to wash away the taste with a swig of water.

From here, I could follow the road away from town. Given where the shots came from, it was unlikely she would have a proper line of sight along that road. Where was she, even? The obvious option would be that large building at the centre of town, but I didn’t like the obvious. She could also be in some of the taller houses.

I arrived near an old, decrepit farm house. I needed a place to stay the night, and this seemed good enough. However, as I approached it, I noticed that inside were about a dozen white bars. The orchard I’d trotted through was irradiated enough to make my PipBuck click, and I really didn’t want to sleep in my newly acquired tent. Who knew if I’d survive the night? Add to that the possibility of hostile ponies stumbling upon me during the night, and it was a recipe for disaster.

This left me with two options: either trot on for a few more hours and hope to find a safe place to sleep in, or talk to the ponies hiding out in the barn and convince them to let me stay the night.

I opted to at least try the latter. Naturally, a yellow mare poked her head out the window upstairs, aiming a rifle at me. At least she didn’t try to shoot me—yet. “Whatcha want from us?” she shouted.

“I just want a place to stay the night, honest,” I answered. “I tried going to Ponyville, but somepony shot at me on arrival.”

She leaned back inside, presumably to talk with somepony behind her. After a few moments, she turned back towards me. “Do you have anything to trade?”

“Yeah. Ammo and food, mostly.”

She talked to the pony behind her some more. “Fine, come in, but don’t start anything.”

Moments later, the front door opened, and a mint green earth pony waved me in. I entered and found myself surrounded by three ponies with firearms in their muzzles. The hay-yellow mare I’d talked to earlier walked down the creaking stairs. “So, you’ve met the silver-maned crazies of Ponyville?” she asked flatly.

“The what? I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean,” I responded.

“The tribe living in Ponyville. They call themselves the Silvermanes. Extremely territorial and aggressive, as you’ve experienced. They’ve killed several of our own when we were first passing by, and they’re insane cultists that worship a book about magic.”

Now this piqued my interest. “A book about magic?”

“Not sure, some of us overheard their conversations, and they were talking about the ‘Holy Black Book’ and how its ‘forbidden magic would make them strong’.”

That… Sounded like exactly the type of thing I needed to kill an alicorn, if it was true. I had to find a way to get my hooves on that book, now.

“Ah, I see. And who are you, ponies?”

“Just a travelling family. We left our hometown because of a disagreement and are trying to find somewhere permanent to stay,” replied the yellow mare.

“A… disagreement?”

“Yes. We didn’t like the way they ran things. They insisted on keeping to themselves while following their traditions. The ponies who followed me did so to defy those rules.”

“I see,” I stated, then opted to change the topic entirely. “You wanna trade stuff? I could use some medium bore ammo and maybe some different food. All I have are old cans and preserved foods.” I’d already lost interest in their tribe’s story and didn’t feel like pretending anymore. “Actually, if you have any booze, I’d like some of it as well.” I hoped for wine, but anything would do.

We ended up haggling for the better part of an hour. I got some purified water and ammunition for my automatic rifle, in exchange for rounds of calibres I had no use for. Afterwards, I agreed to do some repairs and maintenance on their weaponry in exchange for staying the night in what had become their temporary home. I ended up properly introducing myself, and so did they.

“How long have you been here?” I asked the yellow mare, whose name turned out to be Haybale.

“A few weeks. Frankly speaking, we’re trying to come to an agreement with the Silvermanes. We wanna stay around here, since the wildlife is similar to what we had at our previous home. They’re of a different mind, however. When we came here, they attacked us, killing two of ours. Even now, when we’re hunting, we occasionally get attacked by them.”

“Why don’t you leave, then? It sounds dangerous to stay here, so why bother?”

“You underestimate how much we like hunting. There just aren’t as many radigators anywhere else.” She hesitated for a few moments before saying, “You know, I’ve been considering another option. You mentioned you’re a mercenary, right?” I nodded. “Would you be interested in helping us enact a… less peaceful solution?”

I shrugged. “Depends. What’s in it for me?” While it would fit my plans to find the black book, I wouldn’t tell her that.

Her expression turned sour. “I can’t say we have too many caps or ammo to pay you with. But we could provide you with a few weeks’ worth of meat.”

“Call me crazy, but I don’t feel like risking my life for something that will quickly go bad,” I stated in reply.

“It’s jerky, it doesn’t go bad that quickly,” she insisted. “Tastes like pure salt, but it stays edible for ages.”

While I couldn’t survive off meat alone, it was still valuable food, and it wasn’t centuries old. I found it a little odd how, within a few short months after Bricks introduced me to meat, I’d already grown accustomed to it, despite not eating it very often at first.

“Meh, I guess I can always sell it afterwards. I’m in.” After a brief pause, I added, “Do you already have a plan? You sounded confident.”

“Well…” she replied, “I’m glad you asked. The biggest issue is that damn sniperpony on top of the town hall. He or she walks around the balcony of that building and takes shots at anypony trying to get into town. I think there’s only one of them up there at a time, but I could be wrong.”

“Yeah, but there isn’t exactly much I can do about her. Or him I guess, not like I know. If what you’re saying is true, I’d need a higher calibre rifle to have a chance at hitting her from a safe distance. Even then, I’d need cover where I could lie prone to properly align a shot. At an angle like that, she’d have the advantage.”

“No, I have another idea.” She gestured to one of the mares playing cards, and the latter sighed and got up from the table, disappearing into the room in the back. “I was thinking, maybe you could sneak into the town hall and kill the sniper discreetly. Then you’d give us a signal over the radio and take the sniper’s position. You don’t have to actually hit many shots, but having an enemy there will surely disorganise the cultist tribe.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Well, that all sounds well and good, but I’m not that sneaky.” As a matter of fact, I didn’t really trust myself to walk by a deaf, sleeping pony without waking her. “I’d actually have better odds at shooting her with a 7mm round from the edge of town.”

“But that’s why I said we got lucky.” She pointed at my left foreleg. “That is why you’ll be an asset.”

My PipBuck? What use could it be in this situation? SATS wouldn’t pick her up unless I was rather close. And even then, it was terribly inaccurate at longer ranges. Oh wait. I felt silly. Did this mare have a StealthBuck? As realisation dawned on my face, she smiled. The mare she’d sent into the back room came back, carrying the device in her mouth.

“It seems you’ve caught on. I don’t know how long those things last, but in any case, if you go in there at night, you’ll only need it to cross the lit up sections of the road. You can see it from here; they only light up certain key parts.”

That likely meant they had two guards on duty at the same time, at least during the night. Otherwise, they would run the risk of somepony sneaking by behind their back. At least I assumed that, given my experience in Macintown. Still, this was feasible. Even if I ended up having to kill one or both of them loudly, by that point, the chaos would be good enough for the exiles to take the town. Yeah, this would likely work.

“So, do you wanna do it tonight? I’ll need a few hours of sleep, though.”

She hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, I think it’s best we do it as quickly as possible. In the middle of the night, when it’s darkest.”

We agreed on an exact time, and then I quickly went to sleep upstairs, where they had set up a temporary dorm.

I was glad none of them had called me a foal or questioned my age. I’d been getting less and less of those comments lately, and I wondered why that could be. Perhaps it was the confidence I’d gained in my abilities? Well, I’d grown a little, but that could hardly make up for the difference, could it?

Before I could fall asleep, others started coming to sleep in the makeshift dorm. Afterwards, it took a few more minutes for me to finally drift off into unconsciousness.

In the moment, it didn’t hit me that I’d be trusting those strangers with my safety while I slept. There weren’t too many bucks amongst them, and mares hadn’t betrayed me yet, so I didn’t think much about it in the moment. I suppose they weren’t a danger to me, since they needed something from me, but in hindsight it did feel like I was taking an unnecessary risk.

Basking in the comfortable feeling of invisibility while I walked the dark streets of Ponyville, I stifled a yawn. I’d had a cup of coffee, but even that wasn’t enough to make up for how little I’d slept. I had no doubt adrenaline would keep me awake when the time came, but until then I had to tough it out.

In the dark, I could only barely make out the silhouette of the town hall and certainly couldn’t see the ponies that most likely sat at the top of that building. Occasionally, a white bar would appear on my EFS, only to vanish again once I moved enough. I didn’t think much of it, most likely just some ponies sleeping in far away houses.

Even though I was functionally invisible, I still made sure to avoid the spotlights wherever I could. StealthBucks were great, but they weren’t perfect, and the odd shimmers could maybe alert the guards. Whenever I did cross a lit up portion of the road, I always took the quickest path through it.

As I approached the town’s centre, more and more white bars appeared on my EFS, presumably belonging to the sleeping ponies inside the houses. I was surprised to find even the markers belonging to the sniper ponies to be neutral. Then again, I supposed they weren’t exhibiting any outward signs of aggression that my PipBuck would pick up on.

The fact that there were two of them was inconvenient, but expected. However, there was also nopony else in this building. At least, nopony that my EFS would detect.

I stood in front of the door, considering my options. I could walk in through the front, but what if they trapped that somehow? I tried to check my PipBuck’s time, but couldn’t read the text on the nigh-invisible device. I still had at least twenty minutes, probably around thirty, but better safe than sorry. I took a look through the window and found myself unable to spot any sort of traps. Even if the door was trapped, the inside seemed safe. This far from the top, the pair likely wouldn’t hear my spell. I channelled it, then materialised on the other side.

As always, I was grateful for the StealthBuck’s ability to muffle sound. It wasn’t anything too powerful, but it was always helpful. I had to admit, I’d really missed the comfort of invisibility. It was just… nice to know that I didn’t have to worry about prying eyes, no matter where I went. I felt… so much lighter.

Now was not the time to daydream about it, though. I glanced over the room, finding the spiral staircase leading up. I noticed some of the steps were damaged, looked flimsy, or were downright missing. As expected from such an old building. Not seeing too many other ways, I started walking up, careful to not move too quickly. I had all the time in the world, and getting myself spotted now wouldn’t be good.

Despite my best efforts, the stairs still creaked under every step. Some were louder, others were rather quiet. Thankfully, those noises were partially muffled by the spell aura.

That, however, proved insufficient as I approached the top of the building. Suddenly, a female voice rang out from above, “Bro, did you hear something?”

“Yeah. Probably some radroach downstairs. There’s been more and more of those lately. Might be a nest somewhere. I’ll pester Sacred about it,” replied a buck.

“No, Glitter, this was way too high up. I don’t think roaches would be able to climb this far.”

Glitter was quiet for a second, and I could only assume he sighed. “You worry too much, Appleseed. We’ve been watching for hours, and there’s no creature here that wasn’t earlier. Only pony who came close was that scavenger runt that Auntie Carrot spotted during the day, and she bolted the second she was shot at.” He paused again and continued before Appleseed had a chance to protest, “But you’re probably right. Better safe than sorry, and all.”

That wasn’t good. I needed to find a place to step out of the way, but up here there wasn’t anything. I started walking backwards, but only managed a few steps before a pony emerged into the tower. Thankfully, she—assuming it was Appleseed—wasn’t preoccupied with staying quiet, so her hoofsteps heavily overshadowed mine.

As she got closer, I first noticed the gun in her muzzle, then started to make out some of her features. She was young, about as old Candy would have been. I felt a twang of guilt at the realisation I was about to cut all of that short. She was just too close, and even in the dark she would soon be able to notice the shimmers of the stealth spell. If not, she’d notice my presence when she would inevitably bump into me at the very latest.

Quietly, I took a deep breath and waited for her to come just a step closer. Then, in a second, my horn flared. At the same time two things happened. First, I clicked on the safety of her gun. It was a standard CB Holy Luna pistol, chambered in 9mm. I’d seen that gun once or twice in the wasteland. I wasn’t worried about her shooting me in the chest. I knew that calibre wasn’t strong enough to pierce my peytral. But if she shot, it would make the attack a lot harder, even if I managed to easily kill both snipers.

Second, the combat knife I’d bought in Somnambula pierced her throat, and the interior of the building flashed bright red as I put my entire strength into pulling it towards me. I couldn’t risk her screaming, and I didn’t know anatomy well enough to precisely slit her throat in a way that would keep her quiet. If silent and precise wasn’t an option, hopefully quick and dirty was.

This wasn’t nearly as quiet as I hoped it would be. Her open neck produced a disgusting gurgling sound, while her arteries splashed my mane, chest, and face in her blood, briefly creating a wall of floating red before the StealthBuck detected it as part of me and made it disappear.

When I saw the expressions of disgust on Banter’s, Petal’s, and particularly Lockpick’s faces—the latter looking ready to vomit—I apologised. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have described that in so much detail, I’m just recounting things as I remember them, and apparently that stuck with me.”

They accepted my apology, and I continued my story.

She started falling forward, and I ducked underneath her while levitating her over my head. I would have tried to stop her entirely, but I was worried she would simply drag me with her, given how much heavier she was. Her lifeless form loudly crashed down the stairs.

Less than a second later, Glitter cried out, “Sis? Are you okay?” He waited a few seconds before continuing. I felt another pang of guilt as I was reminded of myself when I’d lost Candy. “Come on, this isn’t funny. I know that red flash was just a rigged laser pistol going off.” He didn’t sound very convinced. His tone was begging rather than asserting.

He poked his head in, floating a suppressed submachine gun beside him—a machine pistol of griffin design. The building was slightly illuminated by the mild purple glow of his magic. This meant he would notice me a lot quicker, but it also meant I could afford to see where I would teleport. Now that there was only one guard left, I was much less worried about making a little bit of noise, but I could not let him fire that gun.

I slipped into SATS, queuing up enough actions to deplete the spell, then executed it. In a flash, I found myself in front of him. My telekinesis pressed the discharge button on his weapon, dropping the magazine into the staircase below. My combat knife came floating and slashed at his throat while I heard the submachine gun shoot a single subsonic round, then click harmlessly. The cut wasn’t nearly as deep as I would have wanted, but it was apparently enough to kill. More blood splattered the inside of the tower and my fur and mane. Since the wound was much smaller, it was a minuscule amount of gore, compared to his sister. Yet, for some reason, it felt significant.

I floated his corpse backwards onto the balcony. I felt icky, and really wanted to wash myself off. However, I had no time to waste. I took out the torch from my saddlebags and hoped it wasn’t soaked and would still burn normally. Fortunately, it wasn’t. I levitated it high above my head, signalling my employers to move in.

While I waited for the rest of the ponies to do their part, I looked around the balcony. I found two sniper rifles chambered in .308 calibre. They were both too heavy for me to add to my regular arsenal, so I would have to sell them at the next opportunity I got. Although… maybe I could sell my carbine and buy a lightweight shotgun to make up for the sniper rifle’s shortcomings.

Still… I’d be carrying around a lot of weight in guns alone. My current zebra rifle was more than versatile enough and worked in most situations—although the 7.62x39mm ammunition it used was horribly difficult to aim with at longer distances.

It was a heartbreaking decision, but I would have to sell off both of those gorgeous rifles at the next opportunity.

About an hour later, I was washing myself in the Ponyville river. The water was cold, dirty, and radioactive, but I needed to get at least relatively clean before heading off to bed. Unfortunately, the blood caking my fur and mane had already dried and was a pain to properly get out. I was almost done with my chest and face, but I dreaded dealing with my mane, especially since it would likely imply dunking my whole head into the stream.

When my face was finally somewhat free of crust, I decided to simply cut most of my mane off. A few months had passed since my last haircut, so it was only appropriate. My mane was getting long enough to get into my eyes sometimes, and I’d been meaning to shorten it anyway.

Too bad I can’t do this precisely, I thought. I’ll probably look stupid for a few weeks. Oh well, it’s not like I need to look decent to survive. I’m no whore, after all. I levitated my knife up to my head, then pulled some bangs taught, cutting them off at the base.

Ever since that job with the ghouls, I’d not landed too many jobs as a guard. Instead, I’d been getting work as more of a mercenary. I’d picked up a few bounties, too, but most of the time I was hired directly.

I slashed more of my mane off.

I roughly understood how much to charge, but also what to expect. Most of my clients had ulterior motives that they wouldn’t tell me. Sometimes, I’d be hired to assassinate a target that my employer would describe as evil. They’d claim I’m killing a rapist raider with no sense of justice, only for me to end up killing some scavenger who’d simply stolen what they shouldn’t have. Most of the time, if my client insisted my target was a horrible or despicable pony, it was simply because they were afraid I wouldn’t take the job.

Truth be told, I took anything that wasn’t absurdly risky and paid well, so their efforts were wasted. In Dodge, I’d gone hungry for long enough to know I was willing to do anything to have food on my plate every day.

Another bunch of hair fell into the river.

Incidentally, whenever a client had relatively mild complaints about their target, I found that they were mostly all based on reality. This was why I believed Haybale when she told me of the Silvermanes’ territorial tendencies. That, and I’d experienced firsthoof how aggressive they were in defending their home.

When I was finally done shaving my head, I placed it into the running water, rubbing my hooves to get out as much grime as possible, as quickly as I could. I had to resist the temptation to give up and just go to bed with dried blood in my mane, as the cold was giving me a horrible headache. I pressed my eyes shut, bit my lip, and continued until it felt like I was clean enough. I’d have to bathe more thoroughly tomorrow, but this was a start.

I put my saddlebags back on and started walking. I didn’t exactly know my destination, but I had no doubt I’d find some place to spend the night. After I’d gotten rid of the guards, my clients moved in and started their operation. They primarily tried to chase the Silvermanes out of town. Some of them had the common sense to not fight back and were peacefully shooed away. Most, however, tried to kill the attackers. A few of Haybale’s ponies sustained grave injuries, but with me in the sniper tower, it had been surprisingly easy to help out the attackers. The Silvermanes hadn’t expected the town hall to be controlled by the enemy, and thus were not careful about stepping where I could see them. Rather unsurprisingly, all of their manes were silver.

A group of three ponies tried to climb the tower to deal with me, walking so close to the building I was unable to aim at them properly from up there. Unfortunately for them, I saw their red bars on my EFS before they even entered the building. Glitter’s submachine gun made short work of them once they reached the balcony.

At first, I hadn’t paid much attention to Glitter’s corpse, but with three more ponies, I noticed their manes’ natural colour wasn’t actually silver. It was particularly obvious with one of them, whose natural mane was black, the dye job looking especially botched.

I stopped as I reached a large tree. Now that dawn was slowly coming around, I was able to notice that this tree had… windows. I’d read about this, this was the ancient Golden Oak library. Most likely, the majority of books in here were lost to time, but I had to at least check it out to make sure. Sleep could wait.

Quickly enough, I found the entrance. I took a step inside, when something suddenly came flying towards my face. It almost missed me, but I still felt the sharp sting of a wound on my cheek. Immediately, I fell behind the doorway. Blood flowed down my face and neck, feeling hot on my cold skin.

“Motherfucker. I just cleaned myself!” I shouted into the dark library. What surprised me the most was the fact that nothing appeared on my EFS. This could have just been a trap, but the timing was just a little bit too perfect. Plus, I hadn’t heard any mechanism go off, nor had I felt a tripwire or anything more complex. I looked behind me, trying to see what had been thrown at me, but in the dark I couldn’t find the blade anywhere.

I took a sip from a healing potion to alleviate the scorching pain in my face. Then, as I noticed it hadn’t done much, I soaked my right foreleg’s fur with some more potion and rubbed the wound. Stars, just how deep did that cut? Then I levitated out my combat knife. If somepony was in there, they would attack again before I managed to spot them in the dark. Worse, given that they didn’t show up on my EFS, it was likely that SATS wouldn’t work on whomever was in there either.

I had a trick, however. The second time this night, I poured everything I had into my telekinesis. This time, however, I didn’t pour my magic into strength, but sensitivity. I’d experimented with this a few times already, but hadn’t had the opportunity to try it in any real situation.

With how much effort I was putting into maintaining the spell, I could feel even the most subtle of movement on the knife. This extended to sound, if only very slightly. As I moved it around the room, it eventually hit obstacles, but nothing soft. I was about to give up and conclude it had just been a trap when I felt some vibration. I slashed about wildly until I hit soft, warm tissue. Immediately, I stabbed right where I’d cut, and a mare screamed. For a second, my magic went numb. Then, the sensation returned, and I focused on making the wound as lethal as possible, pushing the blade further in.

She collapsed onto my knife, and I lost concentration. I was panting while my heart beat loudly. My horn was throbbing painfully, and my head wasn’t faring much better, spinning and aching just as badly. I waited there a few more minutes, letting myself recover. The first few times it happened, it surprised me how straining my magic could have such an effect on my entire body.

It made sense, though. A unicorn horn was an organ like any other, after all. It needed energy to do its job, and with how close it was to the brain, it definitely deprived the latter of its needed oxygen.

After a few minutes, I decided I’d rested enough and that I would try entering the building once again. Before that, I wanted to take a closer look through the window. Shining my PipBuck light inside, I didn’t find anything out of place, except the corpse of a mare in the corner opposing the entrance.

I carefully stepped inside, surveying the place with my PipBuck’s light. This time, nothing came flying my way. I found the interior to be in surprisingly good condition. This place was probably under the same sort of spell that had preserved Arcane Spark’s cottage on Foal Mountain.

Approaching the mare, I noticed her mane was dyed in the same way as the other ponies from the tribe. At first, I thought it might have been her natural colour, as the roots were also silver, and the dye job overall very convincing. However, upon closer inspection, I noticed that it wasn’t quite homogenous—though still much smoother than the others. She probably dyed it every few days. Had she been the leader?

I lifted her up to find my knife, embedded deep in… her eye socket at a downward angle. I suddenly understood just why she’d screamed so loudly. I then noticed there was something underneath her. She was clutching a book, its cover entirely black. She’d probably pressed it against her chest before I swung my knife at her.

I searched for a light switch and flipped it on. Almost unsurprisingly, it still worked. The chandelier above my head turned on, illuminating the room. I found myself surrounded by books. In good condition, too. The room itself was extremely clean, as much as I'd have expected back in Stable 4. Well, perhaps not as clean, but it was close. The enchantment that kept this place from rotting most likely also controlled the air quality and humidity.

I took another look at the black book. This was why I’d killed a mare Candy’s age. I just hoped it would be worth it. As I touched my hoof to the cover, I realised it was painted black. I was immediately worried and flipped it open. The title page read “The Great and Powerful Trixie’s stage magic explained.” Is this just a book about party tricks? I thought.

Skimming the pages, I found that indeed, there was almost no useful magic described in this. Some of the spells could have practical applications. For instance, a firework spell might be able to act as a flashbang with enough modification. Still, with every page that I read, I was more aggravated. I’d gone through this much effort for this? I groaned and kicked the corpse of the mare I’d just killed.

However, I continued skimming the pages, hoping to find anything to make this whole ordeal worth it—I certainly wasn’t getting paid enough. Another page that caught my attention had some information on disappearing acts. It wasn’t quite an invisibility spell… More of a simple camouflage. It could help you escape the stage using smoke and mirrors, but I doubted it could be useful in any real scenario. Still, I wondered if that had been enough to throw off my EFS, or if some other factor had been at play. I’d try to learn it if I had the time, just in case.

Disappointed, but spent, I shut off the light, went back to grab my saddlebags, and made my way up the stairs. I needed to get a few hours of sleep, and this place seemed as good as any.

The further I went up, the dustier it was. On my way up, I passed a kitchen, a dining room, a bathroom, a small room, and a way out onto a balcony. I was surprised how good of a vantage point this was. I could see most of Ponyville from here. The only downside was that, unlike the town hall, it only faced one direction.

At the very top of the staircase, I found a large room with lots of vertical space. A ladder led up to a bed on a large shelf. I locked the door behind me with the key stuck in it. It probably wouldn’t stop anypony determined to get in, but it would at least get me a few moments to react and reach for my weapon.

Climbing up to the bed, I took off my saddlebags, harness, and barding. I slipped into my bedroll. The mattress wasn’t very comfortable, but it was far better than sleeping on the wooden floor. Soon enough, I drifted off to sleep. That night, I dreamt of Candy, but instead of falling off a building, she’d had her throat ripped out.

The next evening, we had a giant feast. Apparently, the Silvermanes had a giant supply of meat in storage, and Haybale decided to celebrate victory by eating their enemies’ supply. Out of the twelve ponies on our side, one died during the attack, while two others were injured. Out of the twenty or so Silvermanes, at least ten had died, and the remaining dozen were driven out.

I cut off a piece of the steak in front of me, making sure to take my time to enjoy it. After swallowing, I told Haybale, “This is delicious. Probably the best food I’ve ever had.” It wasn’t a lie. Stable food, as nutritious as it was, remained extremely bland. And wasteland food… yeah. To this day, it’s still the tastiest steak I’ve had. Even now I don’t think I’d be able to make something as good as she did.

“Thanks. Food like this is a staple of where we used to live, and I happen to know the recipe,” she replied. “Hunting is a really big thing there.”

“Huh. You never told me more about it, come to think of it. This makes me wanna visit,” I answered between mouthfuls of beans.

“Oh no, I can’t recommend that. Actually, I’d even go as far as to recommend against it. It’s a town named Arbu, and the inhabitants aren’t usually very welcoming of outsiders, so avoid it if you can.”

“Ah, I see,” I replied before shifting my attention back to my steak.

Author's Note

If you haven't read the original Fallout: Equestria, this is the one chapter where you'll need some extra context. Mild Fo:E spoiler: Arbu is a town of cannibals that gets destroyed about 15 years after this chapter.

And if you're here because you were looking for Fo:E content and you're wondering why anyone would read a Fo:E sidefic without reading the original… It's because I've been telling people that knowledge of the original isn't required to understand this story. This chapter is the one exception.

Chapter 13 — Echoes

Chapter 13 — Echoes

I was sitting in a small room, underneath a desk. The lock on the floor safe was giving me particular trouble. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t get it open.

I groaned in frustration, and the walls continued my wail. It didn’t seem odd at first. As long as I didn’t pay them any mind, I would be fine. But their screaming persisted, and I found myself unable to ignore it.

They were in incredible pain. It was then I noticed the gunshots echoing throughout the building. To keep my mind off the battle, I redoubled my efforts to open the lock. As I applied more torque, a thin stream of blood trickled out the bottom of the keyhole.

I started backwards, pressing my back against the wall. To my surprise, it felt moist, but not cool. Turning around, I was horrified to find that the walls were now bleeding as well.

Red liquid was pouring out of every little crack in the concrete, making them into thin but deep wounds. Soon, the ground was covered in a shallow pool of blood, soaking my rump and back legs. I screamed, but the walls screamed louder.

I ran out into the corridor, where I only found a sea of crimson, as well as corpses swimming it. Immediately, the putrid smell of death made me recoil. It wasn’t just blood, but also feces and urine that combined into an acrid stench.

I stumbled backwards into the office, and my flank bumped into something tall. Turning around, I ended up staring into Iron Sights’ sharp red eyes. She reassured me with a confident smile, but immediately started coughing. Droplets of blood hit my face as hers contorted in pain.

Then a bullet shot straight through her chest. She fell into the pool of crimson, sinking until she disappeared from sight.

I started sinking as well. Within moments, I found myself gasping for air as waves of blood poured over me.

I woke up, inhaling sharply.

I sat there in panicked silence, my mind racing to grasp the situation. Finally, after a short eternity, sensible thought returned to me.

It’s just a dream, I reassured myself, panting and covered in cold sweat. No, it was this dream again. This was the third night in a row I’d had a nightmare about the factory, though this one was by far the most abstract and even more disturbing.

I sighed, lying back down. Judging by how dry my eyes were and how heavy my eyelids felt, I must not have slept for very long.

And yet, if I closed them, my mind was filled with images of death. Ponies lying in gigantic pools of their own bodily fluids.

Yeah, sleeping was out of the question for now. How did Iron deal with this? I’d merely witnessed it, and I was losing my mind. Not to mention, I’d still get nightmares about my mother’s corpse. Killing a single pony left a permanent mark on me, so I couldn’t imagine what state Iron was in, for her to slaughter a dozen ponies without thinking twice about it.

I couldn’t admit it to her, but I was glad I wasn’t her. Part of me knew she had to have lost some of her equinity along the way, so I wasn’t ashamed to be sensitive. I used to be, but seeing the carnage really put things into perspective. In a way, I’d understood why she felt so bad about spurring me to want to mature. I could never go back to a state where I hadn’t seen this massacre, just like I could never go back to a more worry-free state.

Or perhaps I was just trying to justify having such a weak psyche.

Still, I couldn’t bring myself to judge her, despite my own feelings. She couldn’t help the path life forced her into. With a cutie mark like hers, it was only natural a pony living in the wasteland would end up living a violent life. After all, I might have been a serial burglar, if I’d lived before the war. Or maybe not.

I looked over to her. She lay in her bedroll, muzzle contorted in a scowl and fur glistening with moisture. A single bead of sweat ran down along the scar across her eye.

While we finally got her the meds she needed, they didn’t seem to be working. Her breathing had gotten a lot heavier since our trip to the factory, and her fever had worsened as well. In general, her condition had actually heavily deteriorated. So much so that I couldn’t help but worry about her life.

On top of that, I felt responsible for her state. She’d told me she had doubts about the factory, yet my dumb, overconfident self decided to talk her into it. If she didn’t pull through, I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive myself. Not only had she overexerted herself, but she’d also been forced to drink a healing potion…

While the harsh, rational part of myself argued she herself had ignored her illness for this long and was thus partly to blame, I pushed those cruel thoughts aside.

I stretched out my hoof to touch her forehead, only to find it uncomfortably warm. That couldn’t be good. I levitated the moist cloth we used to keep her fever in check towards me. Sometime during her sleep, it must have fallen off.

Pressing it to my hoof, I noticed it was barely damp anymore. I decided to go to the nearby river to refresh it. It wasn’t anywhere close, but I needed to stretch my legs anyway if I wanted to fall back asleep tonight.

I left through the front entrance, careful not to make any noise opening and closing the door. As I stepped outside, Petal called out to me from the roof. “Lockpick? Where are you going?” I’d taken the first shift, and she had the second one.

“Grabbing fresh water for Iron. That’s mostly just a pretext; I had a nightmare and need to get my mind off it.”

“I see. Do you want me to come with you? It’s dangerous alone.”

“I’m not feeling chatty, and you should keep watch here, shouldn’t you?” I replied.

“That’s fine. I don’t think anything will happen while we’re gone; and I’ll also be keeping you safe by going along.”

“I’ll be fine, really. I have this,” I tapped the weapon attached to the belt around my chest. “Iron showed me how it works, and I’m apparently a decent shot.”

“If you say so. If you’re not back within the hour though, I’m waking up Banter.”

“I understand.”

What were the odds of somepony attacking me at night, after all? Frankly, I was more worried about critters than sentient beings, but they wouldn’t bother me this close to a settlement. Well, in any case, I’m prepared, I thought while trying to remember what exactly she’d told me about the gun…

"Alright now," she said in between laboured breaths. "While you were in town, I've had a look at how this thing operates. The basic design is similar to other CB firearms. Here's the safety." She pointed to a lever at the side. "Not quite standard for an energy weapon, but that's no issue."

She took another moment to calm her breathing, then continued, "The trigger is also quite nice. It's light at first, but gets heavier past the midpoint. It's a nice touch, since they could have just made a button—like some energy weapons manufacturers seemed to love doing." Then, she flipped it around and pointed to another lever. "This seems to be a power selector. I don't exactly know what velocities they correspond to, but hopefully the lowest setting is subsonic, since that would make the weapon near silent.”

“Did you get to try it out yet? It sounds like you haven’t.”

“No, and those are just the superficial things. The most interesting part is that it seems like it should work with any bullet of less than ten millimeters in diameter. At least if I understand how it works. I have a few 10mm rounds that I could dismantle, but I also wanna see if it works with smaller, lighter bullets.”

We went outside, and spent the better part of two hours dismantling some rounds she had on her, and testing them out. The 10mm bullets only broke the sound barrier on the highest setting, while the 7 mm-ish one only broke it on the highest setting. The smallest bullet, which had been extracted from a tiny round that was supposedly used for long rifles—which I found very bizarre—broke it on all three settings.

Iron also did accuracy testing, and was pleased to find that the projectile was given a spin, despite no rifling being present in the barrel; “rifling” apparently meaning spiralling grooves and wasn’t restricted to rifles.

Less than an hour later, I was back at the building we were staying in, a bucket of water levitating behind me. As I opened the door, I silently thanked Celestia for keeping me alive. I didn’t get attacked, but constantly heared noises that made me think I was about to be. Now, I was just glad to still be alive. I very much regretted not having Petal with me.

On my stressful walk, I decided that tomorrow, I would ask for the doctor to see Iron. She’d insisted on not going into town and simply getting the medicine she needed. But given that her condition wasn’t improving in the slightest, it was in her best interest.

I’d need to come up with a good reason for the doctor to go out of town and keep quiet about it. I would also have to apologise to Iron for going behind her back like this. Yawning, I decided those two were both future Lockpick’s problems.

I slightly wrung out the cloth before placing it on Iron’s forehead. Then, I lay back down and quickly fell asleep.

We were walking down Dodge City’s main street, back towards our current stay. The town medic was with us. After asking around for a bit, I found that there were two ponies in town who could give some sort of medical aid. One of them was an elderly earth pony stallion, with an entire lifetime of experience. The other one was a younger unicorn mare called Adrenaline Shot. She worked with him most days, taking in his knowledge, but was actually independent.

We’d picked her over the buck because of Banter’s assessment. He’d talked to both for quite a bit, enough to get a grasp on their values and personalities. The male believed in trade and caps; he would always treat a patient, even if they couldn’t pay him, but insisted they pay back their debt to him in some way. While he wasn’t a bad pony, this made us distrust him for this particular affair.

The mare, however, valued life over everything. She used to be a combat medic in a group of mercenaries, but decided to settle down after realising the ponies she saved would only go on to take many more lives.

I was a bit worried that this last part would make her cross Iron, but Banter convinced me otherwise. She wasn’t the type to let someone die or even cause them harm in any way. She just didn’t want to work in a field where her actions would always cause more hurt in the long term.

Walking alongside us, she was talking to Banter and Petal about Manehattan and Tenpony tower, while I was lost in thought. So much so in fact, that the trip to the outskirts of town felt like it passed by much quicker than usual.

“Oh, you should have mentioned you’re staying at the old sawmill. You see, I live near here,” she said, pointing to one of the houses we would pass on every trip to and from town. From the outside, nothing indicated that it was inhabited.

Actually, on second thought… the building did have an old sign that read ‘Medical Emergencies’, I’d just skipped over it because it looked like a pre-war relic, rather than something a wasteland pony would put up. In hindsight, however, the house looked nothing like those old clinics, so it should have been obvious.

“We saw that, but figured this wasn’t an emergency,” lied Banter. “Do you live out here for that reason? To provide first aid to travellers?”

“Basically. During the day, when I’m in Dodge itself, though, there’s just a few healing potions as well as a radio so they can call me over,” she replied, tapping the portable radio in her medical gown’s pocket. “At night I’m always here, though.”

“Well, you might want to work on the signalling, since I would have missed it if it wasn’t pointed out to me,” I chimed in. “Maybe add some wooden signs? I just passively assumed it wasn’t recent.”

“Good point, thanks,” she admitted.

“Aren’t you worried that somepony might steal the potions you left out?” asked Petal.

“Not really. If they needed it, then it’s good they took it. If they didn’t… Well, that’s an acceptable risk if I want to save lives. The only thing I’m worried about is that somepony who might need it won’t get it, and I do have some measures against it, but there’s little I can do to inconvenience thieves that wouldn’t also inconvenience patients.”

The conversation continued on between the three of them—albeit mostly between Banter and Adrenaline Shot, as Petal remained rather quiet, while I accidentally stopped paying attention. I only realised I had missed out on the rest of the discussion when we actually reached our destination about a minute later. I was even more scatterbrained than usual. Normally, my mind would only occasionally wander, but my sleep had been horrible lately with all those nightmares.

“So, I lied about the reason our friend couldn’t go into town. She’s not weak enough to be unable to walk to your clinic. Or even to town, for that matter,” admitted Banter. “Instead, she owes a fair deal of money to the local loan shark. If she showed herself in town, we would need to find a way to pay back all of the interest, and this simply isn’t an option for us.” He sighed before adding, “We can pay you just fine, of course, but it’s important you don’t tell anypony about her.”

“Normally I’d reluctantly agree to such a demand,” she said, causing my heart to sink. “I’m not fond of treating patients in secret, but I also don’t want to let anypony die. However, I can’t say I’m fond of Itty Bit and her ‘business’ in the slightest, so I’ll gladly help.”

With that, we entered the main room of the sawmill. Iron looked shocked at first, but Banter gave her a reassuring nod, and she calmed down.

Adrenaline Shot, who’d been given a basic description of Iron’s condition, started out by using her stethoscope to listen to Iron’s breathing, then took her temperature. After a while, she asked, “So, how long have you been taking antibiotics?”

“About a week now?” Iron replied weakly.

“Hmm… it makes sense that your breathing isn’t back to normal yet, but your temperature should have gone down already.” She furrowed her brow before continuing, “If I remember correctly, Mister Banter said something about you being sick for a long time before you finally got treatment. How long are we talking? Did you take anything to manage your symptoms?”

“Almost two months. I took an ungodly amount of Buck over that period because I thought it was just a pesky cold.”

“That would explain quite a few things. Buck withdrawal, coupled with recovering from such a sickness, is bound to be unpleasant and leave you in a weakened state. The only thing you can really do right now is rest and wait out the withdrawal. It should start getting better soon.”

“Figured I’d have to deal with it eventually, though I guess it’s reassuring to know it’s just that.”

“Well, you probably lost a few years off your life by pulling that stunt. I won’t pretend like it didn’t save your life right now, but next time, try to rest up before you need dangerous drugs. I’m assuming you didn’t take it recreationally, right?”

“Not at all. I’m an alcoholic, not a druggie,” Iron stated flatly.

Her attempt at humour either went unnoticed or was unsuccessful, as Adrenaline Shot answered, “Well, for the next week or so, you’ll physically feel like you need to take it. It’s just a matter of toughing it out.”

“I know, I know, I’ve been there before.”

“Well, if that’s all, I’ll be going.”

“Hold on, could you look at some of my wounds? They’re mostly closed, but they were treated with healing potions and magical bandages.” She’d explained to me that magical healing only treated your injuries in the quickest, dirtiest way possible, and the wounds they closed could reopen very easily. That was apparently one of those things you usually learned the hard way.

After Adrenaline Shot declared that Iron’s wounds had all healed decently well, the latter paid her the owed caps. Banter offered to help pay, since it was my idea to get the medic all the way out here, but Iron insisted.

I awoke from another nightmare. This time, however, I didn’t start. The dream I’d had was much calmer. It was again about the factory, but was a lot less graphic. To such an extent, in fact, that it didn’t truly feel like a nightmare, just an uncomfortable dream.

It was then that I realised that it wasn’t anything in the dream that had woken me up. Instead, ponies were loudly whispering to each other. Coupled with the sound of movement, I briefly found myself wondering if I’d overslept. That would be good, since it meant that I’d gotten to catch up on my sleep debt.

However, that short moment was interrupted by the realisation that the voices were coming from below me, and that I’d been on the first watch shift…

Oh, sweet fucking Luna, I’d screwed up bad, hadn’t I?

I tried getting up as quickly as I could without alerting the ponies in front of the building, but just getting out of my bedroll proved harder than expected. I’d sat down in it to keep warm, but I must have drifted off to sleep somewhere along the way.

Eventually, I managed to get up and start making my way down the stairs into the sawmill. During the day, I’d argued with Iron about us staying here a while longer. She’d just been told to get rest, and she already wanted to leave. None of us accepted, since we thought we could stay one more day. She did say ponies were bound to start suspecting us, which prompted Banter and Petal to agree to leave in two days. Iron wasn’t happy about it, but she didn’t have a choice but to agree to it. I just wished she hadn’t been right…

By the time I arrived at the bottom of the stairs, the front door burst open, and the intruders pointed a flashlight at me.

“Don’t any of you fucking move,” barked a male voice.

“Wh-what’s going on?” I asked meekly. “Who are you?”

Ignoring me, the stallion shone the flashlight at Banter, then Petal, before finally settling his gaze on Iron. With the light off me, I was able to notice we were held at gunpoint by three ponies, one unicorn stallion and two earth pony mares, one of which was positively massive. The large one was holding a pistol in her muzzle, while the others had shotguns. All three were pointing their weapons at Iron, along with the flashlights taped to them.

Were they bandits? They didn’t seem intent on just stealing our things. Slavers? Maybe, but they only seemed to be looking for Iron.

The chains one of them was carrying certainly seemed to indicate the latter.

“Is this about the debt?” asked Banter, clearly as confused as me.

“Shut up,” was the intruder’s sharp reply. I knew I should be scared, but part of me wasn’t processing this situation. It felt surreal. Like a nightmare, or a very confusing dream.

“We can tell you where our cap stash—”

“I said shut up!” bellowed the stallion. “I know your type. You ponies could talk a cat into barking. This doesn’t involve you, so stay out of it.”

Petal stood up and opened her muzzle to speak, but was promptly silenced by a shotgun being pressed to her forehead. The large mare—who likely didn’t even need a gun to kill somepony—started approaching Iron. The latter slowly attempted standing up, but was so unsteady on her legs that I thought she could collapse at any moment. Can’t you see how weak she is? She’ll die if you move her. I knew that wasn’t entirely true, but she probably would die if they handled her too roughly. Instinctively, I walked in between Iron and the large mare, and stared up at her defiantly. What am I doing? I thought to myself, confused by my own actions. What was I trying to achieve?

With the back of her left hoof, she sent me tumbling across the room and landing underneath a table. It happened so quickly. I was suddenly on the other side. Before long, my mind realised I’d been hit, and the feeling in my body caught up. My head was spinning and pulsing with pain. Meanwhile, my right leg ached horribly from where it had slammed into the table.

“Moonlight, you fucking retard, I swear if you kill the filly, I will break every single bone in your body,” growled the boss in a dangerous tone.

Adrenaline taking over, I racked my brain for something, anything that could help us get out of this situation. I couldn’t just let them take Iron! And even then, I’d made the assumption they only wanted her, but what if we would be considered collateral, and also enslaved? I couldn’t let this end here. I had to do something.

But what? Petal was held at gunpoint, and Banter wouldn’t have time to reach for his gun either. Iron was in no shape to fight, and didn’t seem particularly intent on trying. Thankfully, I was near my saddlebags, and the attackers were paying me no mind, so I could easily grab my own weapon. Using the least amount of magic possible, I retrieved the pistol from my saddlebags and switched it from “safe” to “maximum”. It wasn’t a particularly conscious decision; at the moment, I just lacked the telekinetic precision to set it to a mode of my choosing.

My brain scrambled for a way to distract them, but couldn’t find anything. I mentally shuddered as I realised I only really had one option.

In a single motion, I pushed myself behind the table and used my entire telekinetic strength to tip it over as swiftly as possible. I tried lunging upright, but my left foreleg sent a huge wave of pain crashing through my entire body as I tried to stand on it.

I aimed where I knew Moonlight would be, and pulled the trigger. The bullet broke the sound barrier and produced a loud bang as it pierced the mare’s chest and then the wall behind her. However, the earlier loss of the precious second proved itself terrible; she was already looking in my direction when I fired the shot, and she fired back. I felt the burning agony of a bullet punch through my midsection as I was knocked backwards.

The next few instants felt like an eternity. Multiple gunshots. Shouting I couldn’t understand. A red flash. It all happened so quickly.

Forcing myself to my bearings, I reached into my bag for a healing potion, and downed it. The pain in my head, neck, and stomach subsided a little, but my leg still ached horribly.

I scrambled to move out from behind the table. A few more gunshots rang out, and bodies hit the floor. Then, a horrifying, dreadful silence draped over the room.

As I turned the corner, time seemed to stand still. Petal had her leg wrapped around the neck of the shotgun mare, who was desperately trying to wrestle loose, her eyes starting to roll back. Iron was standing on the headless corpse of the buck, levitating his shotgun next to herself, blood flowing out from her neck. Her side was covered in dozens of deep lacerations and bled profusely. Moonlight was lying on the ground, as headless as her boss.

Finally, my eyes stopped on Banter, who was lying in a giant pool of blood. His entire side was peppered with tiny, yet deep wounds. The most gruesome of them was where they were concentrated. Blood was gushing out of the gaping hole in his back.

The mare finally dropped her shotgun, and Petal let go of her and bolted to the nearest saddlebags, not letting Banter out of her eye. Iron collapsed, clutching her wounds while trying to levitate her saddlebags over, but her magic fizzled out mid-way. I was only snapped out of my paralysis by the sound of Iron’s belongings hitting the ground.

Running over to her, I floated out a potion from my bag. I uncorked it and poured it over her wounds as quickly as I could. I knew I was wasting a lot, but I didn’t have a choice. Having her drink it would cost precious seconds that we did not have. Shaking Iron’s saddlebags, I caught the bottle that fell out before putting it to her lips.

Iron, no longer in as much pain, took a bottle of Buck pills and poured three or four into her mouth. Chewing intensely, she magically lifted a syringe from the floor and jabbed it into her neck.

She forced herself to her legs, and I helped her as well as I could. Still chewing, she moved over to Banter, who had received a similar treatment to herself. Except his eyes were closed.

Petal whimpered, “He’s not breathing…”

“Sweet Celestia, please no…” I begged.

Iron, however, opened his mouth and spit the chewed up Buck into it. “We have to get him to the doctor. He might still live. Help me until my meds kick in.”

“What if there are more of them outside…?” Petal mumbled.

“There aren’t. Or at least none close enough to show up on my EFS,” Iron replied, quickly lifting Banter onto Petal’s back and bolting for the door. The latter followed her out, and so did I.

This little bit of movement had already left Iron panting and even less steady on her hooves. “You should stay here. Get our things ready so we can leave as soon as possible,” I told her as Petal and I trotted ahead. Well, staying here isn’t an option, but what are we going to do about Banter? Future problem for future me, now we had to get him to Adrenaline Shot first.

“What if somepony… attacks… you? My EFS… has limited range… you know,” she responded between ragged breaths, trying to keep up but clearly struggling.

“Just teleport him then!” I shouted.

“I can’t…” she said, but then shook her head. “But I have to.”

Her horn glowed red, and she enveloped Banter in its aura. Moments later, they both disappeared.

Petal and I ran ahead at full gallop, and soon arrived at Adrenaline Shot’s clinic. Luckily, a light was already on. Petal burst through the door first, and when I entered, I saw Iron lying on the ground, while Banter was on the examination table.

Adrenaline Shot was standing in the corner, hurriedly gathering tools. She only noticed us when she turned around to look at her patient. As she moved towards Banter’s limp form, she said, “Take your friend on the ground and leave. Go to Riverbreak, and I’ll make sure to send a letter when I can. It’s east of here.”

“But… we can’t just leave him here!” complained Petal.

“Yes, you can. Get out of here before I change my fucking mind,” snapped Adrenaline Shot, placing a gloved hoof inside of Banter’s wound, which the healing potion hadn’t managed to fully close. “There are more ponies on the way, and you’ll be caught if you stay. Leave.”

Banter might be dead. This thought echoed in my mind, over and over again as I pulled our cart, limping. Given I could still bend my leg normally, I doubted it was broken, but it hurt terribly whenever I put even the slightest amount of weight on it.

It had been a bit over five minutes since we’d left the clinic, and about eighteen since we’d fled the sawmill in a hurry. Iron was still unconscious, carried by Petal. I looked back at Iron, and the foam at the edges of her mouth reminded me to check something.

I levitated Iron’s saddlebags from the cart towards myself. Taking out her bottle of Buck, I counted the pills, getting up to a total of twenty-six. I didn’t want to be too controlling, but I really wanted to help her quit them. She’d said quitting wouldn’t be difficult, but I’d heard similar things from mom…

Anyway, I thought, pushing that train of thought aside and putting Iron’s belongings away. It wasn’t long, however, before the topic of Banter came back into my mind. I knew there was nothing I could do now, and yet my brain couldn’t help but to return to it.

I felt worried and sad, and yet I didn’t feel like crying. Maybe it was due to how badly I needed to keep going. Or maybe I was too busy forcing myself forward, and the full extent of the situation had yet to hit me.

I couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt, though. There were so many things I could have done differently and the outcome would have been so much better. If I hadn’t fallen asleep on my Celestia-damned shift, none of this would have happened. And even then, if I hadn’t forced Iron to come along with me to the factory, she would have been in better shape and wouldn’t have tried to surrender. Finally, if I’d just stayed in my place, we wouldn’t have needed to fight…

But then Iron would be gone, I remembered. Not to mention, Adrenaline Shot’s behaviour was odd. She immediately treated Banter, but told us to leave him there. That, however, wasn’t the strange part. The fact that she seemed perfectly aware of what was going on was really weird. I could understand why she was up; the gunshots would have woken her up, if nothing else. But knowing more ponies would attack us?

Either she was lying to get us to leave, or she knew of the attack… which meant she was in on it. The former would imply that she wanted Banter for something. Maybe to enslave him? But that didn’t make any sense, this wasn’t a slaver town; the ponies here weren’t alright with slavery, except perhaps Itty Bit and her goons.

The alternative, however, was much more logical. She knew of the attack because she was the one to tell that loan shark about Iron. But why was she helping us escape, then? Especially since she specifically told us to take her with us…?

Well, maybe her conscience caught up with her at the last moment? She did say she wanted to avoid bloodshed, so maybe that was part of it? She didn’t want an innocent to die because of some greedy mare? Or maybe she owed the mare something, and just telling her about Iron once was enough to settle her debt?

There were so many unknowns and so few answers. My mind continued to spin around in circles for several more minutes, trying to figure out what in Equestria had happened, when I heard Iron’s voice from behind me. “Thanks, I think I can walk…” she said weakly.

I stopped for a moment in order to let Iron get on the ground. Petal then told me, “You should let me pull the wagon now, we’ll move much faster.”

I was about to protest when I realised that I wouldn’t win that argument. My bullet wound still ached, despite the fact that externally it had looked like it had fully closed, and I was already starting to get very exhausted, despite our moderate pace. It didn’t help that for the past two or so minutes, the road had a noticeable incline. Petal and I had decided she would carry Iron as well as some of our saddlebags instead of placing them on the cart. I didn’t have the strength to carry Iron, and Petal couldn’t pull the cart with Iron on it.

Both of them trotted up to me, and Petal took over the harness. It quickly became obvious that Iron was actually currently in better shape than I. It was probably due to the copious amount of Buck she’d taken, but she was having no problem keeping up with Petal, while my own breath was more ragged than I liked.

Petal noticed this and told me, “If you need to take a break, you can get on the wagon for a moment. I should be fine if it’s only for a few minutes.”

“I’ll be alright, but if I feel like I’m slowing us down, I’ll take you up on the offer,” I replied. By the end of the sentence, I found myself breathing heavily. Walking and talking was out of the question for now, it seemed.

“So, what exactly happened while I was out?” asked Iron Sights.

“Not much, really,” replied Petal while I caught my breath. She explained how the doctor sent us away, and how we fled in a hurry. The fact that she was speaking at all was surprising, given her tendency to completely close up after traumatic events. She wasn’t doing well in the slightest, but she knew she had to be strong. I would need to thank her later.

“Fuck, it sounds like she was in on it,” commented Iron. She sighed deeply. “I understand if you want me to leave, either now or later.”

“What, I don—” I cut myself off as I realised Petal had also started replying.

“What’s done is done, and I won’t try to get a petty revenge on you now. As for Lockpick, well, she’s the one who stood up for you, so I doubt her opinion differs much from mine,” she said.

Iron shook her head. “No, of course not, you’re not that kind of ponies. What I meant was in terms of safety. My presence with you caused Lockpick and Banter to get injured, and I would perfectly understand if you wanted to avoid problems like that in the future.” While her voice was perfectly level, I could see her eyes shaking, and her eyelids blinking a bit too fast.

This had the same effect on me as an admission of guilt. It was her fault, wasn’t it? Why had I been blaming myself this whole time when it was her stupid debt that caused us all this?

“Huh, that’s exactly what I’ve been thinking about the entire time you were on my back. Honestly, I don’t know. Yes, your presence is what caused this all. At the same time, having you around also makes me feel a lot safer. The question comes down to whether or not this kind of thing will ever happen again.”

If she’d told us sooner, we’d have avoided Dodge and headed directly towards Manehattan. Or maybe Riverbreak; it was out of our way and a pain to get into, but it would have been better than getting fucking shot over a debt that wasn’t even ours!

“I can’t promise it won’t. What I can guarantee, though, is that Dodge City is the only place in Equestria where somepony has this much of a motive to go after me. It’s why I wanted to avoid it as much as I did, and I should have pushed more. There might be some ponies with grudges against me, but given that I was just a merc following orders, I doubt there are too many.” She sighed again. “Like I said, I can’t promise my past won’t catch up with us, but I can warn you if it might happen.”

“Well, it’s cer—” Petal began, but I cut her off.

“And you expect us to just put up with it? You can’t even warn us of everyone! Do you really think somepony who had their friend killed will just let it slide because you were only following orders‽” I half-shouted, panting.

To my surprise, Iron shrank back. This reaction only made me more furious, however, and I continued, “And fuck, why the hell did you immediately try to surrender? I had to step up for you, and that led to the whole situation with Banter!” This time I was shouting at full volume, strongly hyperventilating.

“Lockpick, quiet. It’s the middle of the night, and we’re being chased,” scolded Petal.

“And you!” I cried out. “What in Luna’s name happened?” I took another deep breath. It felt like I didn’t get oxygen from it, but I didn’t care; I just wanted to scream. “How could you let Banter get shot‽ Why didn’t you do something? Is that why you’re taking her side?” I stomped my hooves in anger, and immediately regretted it. A flash of lightning shot through my leg, and my throat locked up. Before I knew it, I’d lost all balance, and was falling face-first into the ground. I didn’t even feel the impact.

I awoke with a mild headache. The rest of my body didn’t fare much better; a dull hurt spread throughout my chest, while a sharp pain pulsated in my left foreleg. A moment later, I realised I was on somepony’s back. I groaned in exhaustion as I lifted my head. Judging by the surrounding brightness, it was late morning.

“Oh, you’re back,” said Petal. As I attempted to get down, she added. “You should stay on my back. That potion took its toll on you, and your left leg is badly swollen. I think the two of us will be faster if you don’t walk.”

We were walking on a dry desert hill, surrounded by shrubs, cacti, and distant radscorpions. To my left, a valley separated us from more hills; to my right, the usual desert stretched on until the horizon. While I was taking in our situation, my mind slowly remembered what happened before I fell unconscious. I couldn’t help but feel utterly ashamed of my outburst.

As I fully came to my senses, I realised something odd… “Hey, Petal? Where are our cart and Iron?” I wondered, worried.

“Down in the valley,” she replied matter-of-factly. “You can occasionally spot her, or hear her gunfire.”

“Wait what, why did we split up? Where are we?”

“Since we didn’t really think where we were going, we ended up taking an inconvenient path that forced us here. Iron told me about the valley after you blacked out. It’s irradiated and swarming with giant radscorpions, and going around wasn’t an option with the cart. Somepony even bothered to put up a sign warning of the radiation levels.”

“So she offered to sacrifice herself and let us take the easy route?” I asked, knowing I’d pressured her into it with my remarks.

“No, we simply made the logical choice in that situation. We only had enough Rad-X and RadAway for one pony to safely make the trip, and I’m not good with guns, so the radscorpions would have gotten me.”

“I see…”

We fell quiet for a while. I was still ruminating over the things I’d told Iron, but didn’t know what I could do about it. I figured she probably had a radio on her, so I could reach her, but I was so ashamed of my outburst that I didn’t dare say anything. Or rather, I was looking for the proper way to apologise.

“Petal?” I mumbled. “The thing I told Iron earlier… it was really stupid. I think I took her admission of guilt as a pass to dump it all on her. How do I apologise?”

“Well, I think she’ll understand. She didn’t seem mad at you, but she did feel guilty about what happened.”

“But, it’s hardly her fault…”

“She still played a part in it. And so did I; if I’d been more careful, that mare couldn’t have shot either Iron or Banter. Trying to pin the blame on any one of us isn’t going to fix anything.”

“But I fell asleep during my shift! And it was my idea to bring in that shady doctor! And the factory!”

“I won’t deny any of that, but like if any one of us had done something different, things would have gone better. Or not; we don’t even know. As terrible as this situation is, we really can’t afford to destroy each other—or ourselves—over it.”

“I…” I sighed. “You’re right. This is all just so much. How do you manage to be so collected about this?”

“I have to, otherwise I’ll go crazy…”

We were continuing to walk east along the valley. At many points during our trip, I could see Iron down in the valley, and just like Petal had said, I could hear her gun just as often, if not more. However, at some point, she’d disappeared ahead. Now it was mid-afternoon, and I could tell both of us were starting to get tired; I was taking a sip from the cantine when the radio activated. We’d used it to communicate with Iron a few times, just to confirm we didn’t see anypony going after us.

“I’ve reached the end of the valley, I’ll wait for you guys here,” it said in Iron’s voice.

“Roger that,” replied Petal while pressing the button on the device attached to her chest. Then, she breathed a sigh of relief and added, “I was starting to get exhausted myself. I was planning on stopping when she got too tired to continue, but I was not expecting her to power through like that.”

We’d only taken short breaks during the entire trip; I’d occasionally gotten off Petal’s back to help make it easier on her. Iron, however, didn’t seem to slow down in the slightest. Yes, the terrain was flatter down in the valley, but that couldn’t be the whole explanation. I’d need to recount Iron’s Buck pills… But then, I couldn’t really blame her for taking some in an emergency, could I?

Soon enough, our cart came into view, and an hour after that, we finally met up. As soon as we were close enough, I got down from Petal’s back and hobbled over to Iron, hugging her to the best of my ability. “I’m sorry…” I mumbled.

“It’s… alright. You shouldn’t hug me, though. I’m as radioactive as a TV tower right now,” she replied, gently pushing me away. “We should find a place to set up camp for the night. Our pursuers—if there are any—don’t seem to be anywhere near us, but we should still get to a good, defendable spot. Ideally, we want to hide the cart between some boulders, and be able to see everywhere around us from atop them. There’s a decent spot nearby, but getting the cart up there will be difficult.”

“Do you think I could pull it up if you helped me?” asked Petal.

“That was on my mind, actually. It’s right up there.” She pointed to one of the sides of the valley.

I didn’t go back on Petal’s back, as pulling the cart was already hard enough. Instead, Iron and I took some heavier objects and placed them in our saddlebags. Half an hour later, our cart was hidden and our bedrolls ready. None of us had eaten anything proper since yesterday evening, so we decided to have some cold preserved pre-war vegetables and beans. As much as we all wanted to heat them up, lighting a fire was out of the question, as the smoke would immediately reveal our location to anypony within a large radius of us.

We sat there in awkward silence, neither of us willing to break it. Eventually, though, Petal spoke up, “We still have to decide what to do next. We’ll likely be waiting in Riverbreak for at least a week; couriers don’t deliver mail anyway. We should find something to do there, some way to make caps while we’re waiting.”

Iron nodded in agreement, but remarked, “What about what we were talking about earlier? Like I said, there’s no guarantee my past won’t cause some issue for you two.”

“Well, I’ve already decided I’m willing to put up with the risks, but Lock—”

“I wasn’t done,” interrupted Iron. “For that reason, I’ve decided to give my savings to you. I don’t know how much you need. I have four thousand caps on me.”

“Four thousand‽ How did you have so many on you at all times? How did you get them?” exclaimed Petal.

Iron shook her head. “They were in my personal stash, which is a cave in that valley. They’re what I’ve saved up over the years; it’s fairly easy to earn when you’re good at killing and are unscrupulous enough to accept just about any job that pays well.”

“That puts us significantly closer to our goal!” exclaimed Petal. “Banter estimated we’d need around eleven or twelve thousand caps, all costs added, and with what we’ve already invested in legal procedures, we only need maybe six thousand to buy property. Well, we’d need to wait for somepony to sell theirs first, and that could take a while. Plus we could get unlucky with the pricing. Still, we’re within the last sprint! And if you live in Tenpony Tower, you won’t have to worry about your past catching up to you, either!”

Iron smiled and said, “Thanks for the offer, but I’ll make myself a home somewhere else in Manehattan. A place such as Tenpony would definitely remind me too much of Stable Four to ever live in. But then there’s also the fact that I doubt they would even let me in. You’ve both seen my legs, and you know how they treat ghouls, so I doubt taint-ridden muties like me get a much better treatment. That detail notwithstanding, you know I’ve done some… ethically questionable things as a mercenary, and their law is very strict.”

I blinked, completely dumbfounded. She’d just dropped a massive bombshell. I’d noticed it a few weeks ago, but my mind had been elsewhere at the time. My thoughts never landed on it again. “Wait, mutation? You mean the grey bit on your leg?”

“Yeah, and it feels worse than it looks. Dunno how to describe it, other than ‘wrong’. Sure, I can hide it, but I wouldn’t want to live in a place where I’d constantly need to fear being discovered.” She shook her head. “But like I said, I’m fine getting myself a cozy place of my own on the outskirts of town. Set up a few turrets, find a decent mattress, and I’m good, as long as I get to see you once in a while.” Before I got to add anything, she changed the topic. “So, how exactly did you and Banter meet?”

Petal hesitated for a moment, but then spoke up, “Long story short, when I was a filly, my mother was murdered by raiders, but they didn’t find me. She gave her life so that I could live.” She took a deep breath and sighed. “I knew I had to leave, so I went to the closest settlement, where I survived by begging.” She paused, then corrected, “Well, tried to. Even though it was one of the bigger towns around, not many ponies could spare something, and I wasn’t strong enough to do any meaningful work, so I often went hungry.”

She took another swig from her tea, then continued, “I couldn’t tell how long I’d survive like that. I knew I’d need to eventually find something, or my life would end before it really began.” She gulped and hesitated for a moment. “And so, as soon as I started drawing stallions’ eyes, I started making caps that way.” Frowning, she let out a deep sigh. “I hated it with my entire being, but I knew I had to do it if I wanted to live.”

After drinking some more, she proceeded with her story, “At first, I would dream about eventually getting away, finding something else to do. But as time went by, that spark of hope died out, and I became a soulless husk that only thought about getting through the day.”

She smiled wistfully as she started talking again, “Then he came into my life. He didn’t bother me outside of work hours, it’s as if he knew I wouldn’t listen to some stranger. Instead, he bought some time with me, because I at least tried to listen to what my clients had to say—you’d be surprised how many of them simply felt lonely and needed somepony to talk to, by the way.” She said that last part with an amused smirk. Shrugging, she continued. “He was definitely one of my younger customers, but his words struck me, and I realised just how complacent I’d gotten. The next day, I fled with him and never looked back.” She was almost grinning, now, as she added, “In a way, he saved my life. Surviving just isn’t the same as living.”

That was something I didn’t know about Petal. I understood that he’d saved her from stagnation, but I’d never heard that she used to work as an escort. “You never told me that much,” I complained.

“Sorry. It was just a bit awkward to ever bring it up. At first you were too young to comfortably talk about it, and then it kinda never came up…”

Wait a second. That had to be at least five to seven years ago. She couldn’t have been much older than I am now… I wrapped my forehooves around her in a big hug. I couldn’t imagine what that would be like. I didn’t want to imagine…

I was surprised at how talkative Petal was. A few years ago, we’d lost our youngest family member, a little colt simply named Blue. Petal hadn’t taken it well in the slightest. It had taken weeks for her to even start replying to basic yes or no questions. Now, however, she was less shut in than usual. I had to admit, seeing her like this definitely helped me as well.

On the one hoof, I knew that if she closed herself off, it wouldn’t be good for me or her. On the other hoof, I didn’t want her to feel like she needed to shoulder the burden herself. I’d have to find a way to make it clear to her. Yes, I had to be strong for her.

My train of thought was broken by Iron, who took a deep breath and said, “You know, there’s something I should tell you two. I don’t think there’s a good moment to say something like that, but…” With every word she spoke, I was getting more worried. How bad was the news she was about to drop? “Well, maybe it’s best to ask you a question first… How much do you know about Nightmare Moon?”

Huh? I tilted my head. What did that have to do with anything?

Before I could gather my thoughts enough to utter a coherent sentence, Petal replied, “Not much past the basic tale. I know that Princess Luna turned into Nightmare Moon before getting banished for a thousand years.”

Iron nodded. “But do you know how exactly she became the Nightmare?”

“I… dunno. I never asked myself the question,” admitted Petal.

I had no idea either. History had never been my strong suit. Well, not that it was easy to find history books in the wasteland anyway.

“Unfortunately it was one of those things that historians never truly figured out. There were three primary theories before the spells fell. It didn’t help that neither princess ever confirmed or denied any of this. The first was by far the most popular one. It claimed that Luna was overtaken by some kind of maleficent entity. It’s mostly been criticised because it seems like a convenient excuse to uphold the status quo,” explained Iron matter-of-factly. I couldn’t understand why she was bringing any of this up. A quick look at Petal confirmed that she was just as confused as I.

“That’s where the second theory came into existence. It claimed that Nightmare Moon really was just the princess whose insanity had reached a climax. This theory was popular before the war, but once the Ministry of Image was founded, books discussing it became rarer and rarer. Luckily Mr. Pegas, my ancestor, was rich enough to manage to get a few of those past the authorities. It also implied that the Elements of Harmony brainwashed Luna, which is why most ponies disliked that idea. But that’s all besides the point.”

“Finally, and it’s what I’ve been building up towards… It’s the theory that the reality was somewhere in between. In essence, they speculated that somehow, when an alicorn got upset enough, their incredible power could… ignite as some kind of defense mechanism and overtake them. In a way, that newly formed person was Luna, but also not.”

What in Equestria was she talking about…?

She sighed deeply. “And I think it might apply to powerful unicorns as well. I… haven’t been having amnesia episodes. Instead, I think there are just two different ponies inhabiting my mind. I somehow remember everything she does, while she only remembers her own actions.”

It took me a few seconds to grasp what she was saying. “What?” I uttered before my brain was even finished processing the information. Finally, my mind caught up with my mouth, and I asked, “So one day you woke up and had another filly in your head? And couldn’t you just come out and say that instead of going with that convoluted Nightmare Moon analogy thingy?”

Her brow furrowed in confusion, Petal stared at the ground. She occasionally opened her mouth before closing it again.

Iron slowly shook her head. “Maybe, but I’m not sure. I can’t tell which of us was here first. I don’t know how long she’s existed, or how long I have existed. I’m… I’m kind of scared I’m not the original. Like I’m a defense mechanism formed by her magic…”

“So you mean… The filly I’ve talked to last week, she is the original… you?” It… kinda made sense, as insane as it seemed. After all, the two were quite different. “Wait, wouldn’t that make her—”

“Iron Sonata? Yes, but I usually think of her as just ‘Sonata’.”

“Then why did she introduce herself as Iron Sights?”

“Oh, right. I’ve been writing journal entries for her on my PipBuck. Partly because I felt bad for her, but mostly so that she wouldn’t do anything stupid. Figured it would be a good idea to tell her about my new name, too.”

“Wow, she’s one hell of an actress, then,” I said without really thinking about it. My mind caught up with my mouth, and another idea sprang forth. “Or I guess she doesn’t know about you and genuinely believes she has amnesia…”

“It’s the latter,” admitted Iron. “When I first realised what was going on, I didn’t know what to do. If I kept her in the dark, she could get herself—and me, by extension—into trouble. But… if she did find out, then what would happen to me? Since she’s the original, I’m scared she can just… wish me away or something. I mean, I don’t think it’s very likely, but I’m still afraid of the possibility. I… don’t wanna stop existing.”

“I still think you should tell her. Maybe… I could do it? I’m sure she’s nice enough to let you co-exist with her.”

Unconvinced, she shook her head. “Maybe one day, but for sure not right now. I’m actually scared she’ll take control and doom all of us right now.”

“How does that happen?” asked Petal.

“You mean her taking control? I’m not entirely sure, but so far it seems like she takes over whenever I feel safe, I hear a song she likes. She used to come out when I had massive hangovers, but that’s been getting rarer. I take over whenever she spots a gun that would pique my interest, or whenever she’s in immediate danger or is otherwise very stressed. It’s this last part that makes me believe I’m just a defense mechanism.”

“I doubt you’re just that,” I protested. “If you were, wouldn’t you only come out whenever she feels threatened?” This was beyond weird to think about.

She pondered this for a second. “You have a point. Still, I have to face the fact that I’m not the original. There’s also the fact that I don’t have any real control over her once she takes over. And, well, she can be a bit naïve and get us in dangerous situations that I would have known to avoid.”

“Is there really nothing you can do? I suppose if she’s with us, we can prevent her from doing anything dangerous.”

“It’s part of why I wanted to join up with the three of you. I figured I needed help keeping her and I safe.”

“Well, why don’t we help you with her, and tell her the truth? Not right now, but when we get someplace safe. I know it’s scary, but it’s currently causing more issues than it solves.”

Iron frowned and fell quiet, gathering her thoughts. In the end, all she could mutter was, “I don’t know…”

While I was scrambling for more things to add, Petal said, “Do you really think she could and would wish you out of existence? It would take an awful lot of control over her own brain to achieve that.” She locked her gaze with Iron’s and argued, “I don’t know about you, but I can’t stop myself thinking about stupid, insignificant things I’ve done in the past, so I don’t know why some teenager would be able to completely isolate off a part of her mind. Not only that, but why would she kill off somepony who’s essentially her twin sister? Sorry if I’m coming across as harsh, but it just doesn’t make sense to me.”

Iron averted her eyes, looking at me instead. I slowly nodded. Finally, she replied, “Fine. I’ll write up a journal entry explaining the whole thing. You’ll still need to talk to her, because she might not accept it at first though…”

Afterwards, we fell quiet. As we were done eating our sad meal, we decided to go to bed, Iron taking the first shift, and I the last. During mine, I counted Iron’s Buck pills, and noticed she’d only taken a single one since last night. How had she been able to make such a trip on only one pill? Maybe the lot she’d taken this morning just lasted that long?

Another odd detail I noticed when she came out of the tent in the early morning… her hide had completely regrown. All of the partly closed wounds from the factory had entirely healed up. Even her side, which had been cut deeply into just yesterday, was in pristine condition. On top of that, her fur practically shined.

Noticing my gaze, she yawned and said, “What are you staring at? If you wanna see my scars, you can just ask, you know?” My face suddenly felt warm enough to light a fire.

Author's Note

Yeah, y’all remember how I bitched and whined in chapter 2’s author notes about how I needed to rewrite a bunch of passages a bunch of times? Yeaaaaaah this chapter was like 13 times worse. I think I’ve written in the neighbourhood of 25k words total for this chapter, just because I kept having to change things. I think I rewrote the assault scene alone from scratch like 3 times. Pain.

On the bright side, I seem to have gotten back into a decent habit of writing; not nearly as fast as back in Spring 2020 where I’d put out 2k words a day sometimes, but I still think I can aim to push out one chapter every four weeks or so. Probably more often once I start writing the shorter chapters that will appear later on.

Oh, right! The other reason I’m excited to be picking up the pace again: I have a plan! Like, a proper plan on the plot. Until now, I had a pretty good idea of where to go with each chapter, and overall in the story. But it was a bit vague, and I would sometimes find myself in a situation where I needed to put significant effort to connect the dots. Something similar happened with this chapter, and it’s why it needed so many rewrites (I’ll put the exact reason in the next chapter).

If everything goes according to plan, I’ll have 15 more chapters (excluding potential flashbacks).

But also, I decided to change my writing style a bit. I’m good at fast pacing, so I think I’ll start playing to my strengths a bit more.

2023 Etyco note: Yeah, it ended up more than that. But hey, it's around this point that I really started improving as a story teller, so you can look forward to a way more interesting story.

Chapter 10.12 — The least I could do

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 14 — Regrets

Author's Note

Hey, I hope you're enjoying the read. Starting from here, the story frequently switches POVs. It's mostly because I enjoy giving the reader a bit of a mystery to solve from time to time (or hell, some are not even meant to be solved).

The issue is that it's pretty easy to not notice when the POV switches. In hindsight, I shouldn't have POV switches mid chapter since they're so confusing.

I'm not gonna restructure the entire story now, though, and instead I'll do a bandaid fix: When the narrator changes, there's a double horizontal rule. If I missed any, or if I put one where I shouldn't, do leave a comment :twilightsmile:

Chapter 14 — Regrets

Regrets

“Look, I’m sorry, but I just can’t let anyone in after dusk,” explained the mare on top of the gate leading inside Riverbreak. With her unkempt light brown mane and blonde coat, she looked mostly plain, except for the scar across her cheek.

“Come on, miss, it’s barely night,” I countered. That was stretching it a bit, but it hadn’t been dark for too long, either. I just needed something to push the conversation where I wanted it. We’d arrived here later than expected, and were now struggling to get back inside the settlement.

“I know, but I don’t make the rules. We can’t risk shady characters getting in while everypony’s asleep.”

I had three options. I could try to bribe her, but she seemed too innocent to accept that. I could tell that she actually felt bad for not letting us in, and trying to pay her off would probably make her change her mind.

Seduction could work. Given how plain she looked, she likely didn’t get compliments often. I could use that to my advantage, but I still ran the risk of her being too pure of heart to break the rules for her own benefit, so I’d have to bet on her throwing reason out the window for a pretty mare. Not that I was particularly pretty anyway, given my many scars. Well, a possible exception to this was maybe the one across my eye. It gave me a gruff mercenary look that helped me be taken seriously, but it also added a hint of experience to my face. The same couldn’t be said for my burn scar or my missing ear though.

All that aside, another argument against the flirty approach was the possibility that she wasn’t into mares at all. There was always the chance I had misread some of the looks she’d given Petal on our previous visits.

That left the last option… pity. I already knew she was the type with a heart of gold, but a brain of tin, so I could likely trick her just by making us out to be poor defenseless young mares, out in the dangerous wastes. Luckily, she’d poorly chosen her words.

“Are… you saying I look shady?” I asked, faking a dejected look. With any luck, just this would be enough to manipulate her to let us in. “Is it because of my scars?”

The effect was immediate, and she promptly went into damage control mode. With any luck, her brain was already in a defensive state, meaning she’d stop thinking as rationally. “Nonono, don’t get me wrong! I just—it’s just that—uh, you see, anypony approaching at night is automatically not super trustworthy… Wrong wording.” Success. Now for part two.

“Please,” I pleaded, “we just had to take a detour because the old bridge south of here gave out. We were hoping to get here before dusk, but if we’re stuck outside, we might not survive the monsters…” With every word that I said, I made sure to twist the knife. Make her feel as guilty as possible. And I could tell it was doing its job, as she was getting visibly more and more worked up. “You already know us, too.”

The guard stammered, unable to find her words. It was hard to believe they’d have such a rookie at their front entry, but maybe they didn’t have a choice. Plus, that was likely why she’d been given such strict orders; they were worried she’d let just anypony in, so they told her to turn everyone away instead, even if they were otherwise trustworthy.

And even then, she wasn’t all bad; I really doubted she could be bought off or corrupted in some other way. She really was just too kind.

Plus, despite all of my exaggerations, we weren’t particularly strong, either. While I doubted anything in the region would pose a significant threat to Iron, Lockpick and Petal weren’t quite as resilient. Besides, if we could avoid a threat, there was no reason not to. Although, we didn’t know much of the region anyway, for all I knew there could be hellhounds around here. I doubted there were any, but I had heard stories. Well, Iron had.

The guard had fallen quiet, and I knew it was time for the final nail in the coffin. “Please, I promise we won’t get you in t-trouble,” I whimpered, managing to let a few tears run down my cheek. “We’ll stay out of sight and won’t bring attention to us. We can even pay you, we’ll do anything to get in…!” The offer to bribe was simply to underline how desperate I was trying to sound; I wasn’t particularly interested in paying her, truth be told.

She fell quiet, no longer stammering. After a few moments, she finally gave in. “Fine, but if anything goes bad, I’ll be the one to blame, so please keep that in mind,” she told us, almost disappointed in herself. “And don’t tell anypony I let you in…”

I gave her the biggest smile I could reliably fake and moved towards the gate as she opened it. “Thank you! We owe you so much, miss.”

I would feel bad about tricking such a kind-hearted mare, if the end result wasn’t so inconsequential. If there was actually a chance of her getting into trouble for allowing us in, I don’t think I would have had it in me to hurt someone as pure as her, even if it meant taking a risk.

I kept up my façade until we were out of her sight, while Petal and Lockpick remained silent. They both knew to let me deal with this sort of situation, and would often just play along with whatever I was trying to get across.

Once I knew she wouldn't be able to see me, I relaxed, grinning confidently. “She’s not particularly difficult to fool, but this still went flawlessly,” I told the two of them. “Since we don’t have any plans for tomorrow, I might mess with her a bit during her free time just because it’s fun. I wonder what she’s like when she’s not busy following orders she doesn’t believe in. I bet she’s cute when flustered.”

Not that I’d be able to do anything more with her anyway. Iron wouldn’t like it one bit if I used our body for that. I really didn’t get it. Weren’t fillies our age supposed to be interested in this type of thing? I knew it wasn’t a conscious decision on her part—I remembered her thought process, after all—but it still weirded me out. It’s like she doesn’t even care about a mare’s sex appeal, all that matters to her is guns. Nevertheless, I couldn’t go back on my promise, especially since she might go back on hers and start ruining our body with drugs and alcohol again.

That wasn’t where our differences ended, however.

Petal furrowed her brow before commenting, “Sweet Celestia, how did you change this much in the span of less than two months? You were so innocent and naïve, and now you’re anything but.”

“Well, you know I’ve been remembering Iron’s memories,” I reminded her.

Ever since Iron had agreed to Lockpick telling me about my condition, most of the former’s memories had slowly started coming back to me. As far as I could tell, I remembered the vast majority of what happened ever since we left the stable, and even before that. Though I was aware I still had gaps in my knowledge.

For instance, I understood what my father had done to me, but I didn’t recall the particular events. It was like a fuzzy nightmare that I had mostly forgotten about. Other than that, I still didn’t remember what happened to Cascade or when we’d separated. Iron claimed it was completely on Cascade for being overly sensitive, but I knew that was pure horseshit. And she knew that I knew. Still, we understood each other enough to work together and respect our respective boundaries.

Then, Lockpick admitted she shared Petal’s sentiment. “Yeah, but it’s hard to believe it makes such a difference.”

“Is it?” I rebutted. “If you suddenly lost, say, five to six years’ worth of memories, wouldn’t you become a lot more naïve and innocent?”

“I guess?” she conceded.

“Then what’s so weird about a sheltered stable filly becoming confident and capable in the span of two years? The only odd thing is that they’re technically not my memories, but instead those of the mare I share a head with, but I guess that doesn’t make a difference.”

“Yeah, but where did you learn to be so…” Lockpick paused for a second, trying to find a word.

“Manipulative? It’s something I was taught by my mother ever since I was young,” I explained.

Lockpick wasn’t quite satisfied with this answer, however, as she asked, “How come Iron isn’t quite as… socially agile?”

“I think she mostly wants to reject mother’s lessons because of the way she treated us. In a way, she tried to force us on a life path, and Iron believes that using any of that knowledge is letting mother control us. I, on the other hoof, would prefer not to waste skills that I’ve already built, regardless of who taught them to me.”

“How does that work, by the way?” asked Petal, “Regaining Iron’s memories. Do you just get flashbacks?”

“Sort of?” I hesitated. “Usually, when I think of something, the memories are just… there. Sometimes I can tell it’s knowledge I didn’t previously have, but most of the time it’s as if I never forgot it in the first place. The weirdest part is that I don’t know what I’m still missing, if I’m even missing anything.” Well, other than the obvious, that is.

Our conversation turned to more trivial topics as I gave the two concrete examples of things I knew for sure I’d only recently remembered, like the time Iron spent with Candy; to me those months had seemed like a complete blur at first, but now I recalled so much more.

Once that topic was exhausted, we decided to walk around town for a bit longer. Even though it had been dark for a few hours already, Riverbreak was still very awake. It was an odd town, built around an old port. They’d taken boats and welded them together to build a wall around the outer perimeter. Some of the houses were also repurposed ships, while others were just regular port buildings. However, most of the population lived in huts made of sheet metal and boat parts.

Meanwhile, we were staying in a half-collapsed hangar, with a destroyed sail for a roof. Usually, finding a building to sleep in wasn't very tough, but given the nature of this place, it made sense that the only free place was one that nopony else would want.

Despite how well-off this place was—or rather because of how well-off it was—they didn’t really engage in trade; it wasn’t that they were unwilling to buy, they would just pay subpar prices. They had everything they needed, after all.

The river provided power, and filtering the water was rather easy if you had electricity. They also grew their own crops—albeit outside the main perimeter—while ships and containers were their source of building material. Ammunition wasn’t in ample demand, either, since no raiders really ever came nearby. This place was truly self-sufficient, and travelers came by rarely enough that everyone was somewhat wary of them. Well, almost self-sufficient; certain kinds of medical supplies were occasionally needed, but even that was well under control.

As we arrived at the hangar we were staying at, I noticed a letter sitting at the bottom of the doorway. Could it be…?

I rushed over as soon as I saw it, and tore it open.

“Dear Petal, Lockpick, and Iron,

I hope you’re all doing well, I’ve been waiting so long for an opportunity to send this letter that I ended up rewriting it from scratch four times already. None of the couriers seem to be headed in the direction of Riverbreak. I can understand why; the shortest way to it is through a radioactive valley, and the town isn’t really on any other interesting trade routes. Well, if you’re getting this letter, a courier finally headed there.

I’ve survived my injuries, but the doctors couldn’t fix the damage done to my spine, and I’ve lost all feeling in my hind legs. The nice ponies here helped me get my hooves on a functioning wheelchair, and someone even managed to swap out the wheels for something a bit more terrain-friendly.

Well, I wanted to start off with the silver lining. It’s been weighing on me pretty badly for the last month. I’ve been getting better, but I’m still not over it. Don’t know if I’ll ever be. Frankly, I’m glad a courier didn’t arrive earlier to send my previous letters, because I really wasn’t in a good state of mind when I wrote them. Still aren’t.

Anyway, I’ll keep this letter short. I want to stay here a few more weeks to finish recovering. Then, I’ll be waiting every night an hour until midnight at the old sawmill. Come pick me up when you get this letter.

Yours truly, Banter.

P.S.: A pegasus courier came to town, and he’s willing to deliver the letter and come straight back! He even agreed to deliver your response. Give me another two weeks of rest, then you can come pick me up. Tell me where you’d like to meet, and I’ll do my best to find you there.”

As I read it out loud, tears started flowing down my cheeks. He’d lost the use of his legs because of Iron… I knew I couldn’t be blamed for it, but I still couldn’t help but feel I partially responsible. If I’d managed to stay in control a bit more, none of this would have happened…

Suddenly, a voice called out from above, “Are you the ponies this letter was addressed to?” I raised my head and noticed a familiar pegasus. His white coat and deadpan face set off all kinds of feelings in me. Before I knew it, my vision faded to black.

“You!” shouted Sonata at the pegasus on the roof. No, this wasn’t Sonata, it was Iron Sights. When had they switched?

The buck raised an eyebrow. “Should I know you?” he asked nonchalantly.

Iron just stared at him intensely, though I couldn’t tell if it was out of anger or something else. Suddenly, she averted her gaze and ran inside.

“Alright then. I assume you are Petal and… Iron?”

I shook my head. “Iron’s the one who just ran in. I’m Lockpick. And you are?”

“Airdrop. As you have probably come to understand, I am a courier, and I am here to pick up your response. I shall give you until tomorrow at noon, if that is fine.”

As we both nodded, he took off.

Petal whispered to me, “I’ll leave you and Sonata some time alone. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I figure you’re better off talking to her alone.”

“I think you’re right, though that wasn’t Sonata, I believe,” I replied.

I entered the house while Petal walked away, and found Iron crying quietly on her bedroll. Had I imagined the switch? I’d never seen Iron cry like that before. But then again, Sonata hadn’t been very emotional since she’d gotten her memories back, either. If anything, Iron had been the one to tear up once or twice while opening up to us.

Still, seeing her like… this was new.

She lifted her head and looked at me, and I dared ask, “Hey, what’s wrong?” She averted her eyes, and I tried again. “How do you know that buck?” She seemed to shrink away at the question. After a moment, she met my gaze.

Opening and closing her mouth multiple times, she eventually spoke up, “He’s… he’s the one who found Candy’s corpse back then.” She sniffled. “I still have nightmares involving his face.” Looking away, she gulped. “I… don’t think I could ever forget it. He did nothing wrong, but the memory of it…”

I lay down next to her, leaning against her. “Is that really all? It doesn’t seem like something that could make you this upset.” It took me a few moments to notice just how poorly I worded that, and I hastily corrected myself, “N-not thinking you’re wrong to feel like that, that is, it’s j-just that…” Realising I was only digging myself deeper, I stopped. “Sorry, I’m bad with words.”

“It’s not, but I’d rather not talk about the rest… It’s just that, well, it came back all at once, and I couldn’t hold it in.”

I leaned forward and turned my head to the right to look her in the eye. “Iron, I know this is tough for you, so take your time, but please don’t keep this a secret. You promised.”

“I… but… It’s really nothing you need to worry about. It’s not a piece of my past that poses any risk for us…”

“Well, in that case, I want to worry about it. Besides, even if it’s not something that can bite us in the flank directly, having you bottle it up can’t be good for our group, either.” She was our main fighter; if she suddenly had a fit like this while we were under attack, who knew what could happen? “Please, tell me, even if it’s trivial.”

She looked me in the eye before averting her gaze again. She gulped, then quietly began, “It happened when I first got back to New Detrot… half a year after I lost Candy, maybe a bit longer.” She wiped the tears off her face, sniffling. “I… was mostly over it already; at least… I wasn’t spending my days crying about it.”

She fell quiet for a few moments, sniffling occasionally. I shifted slightly in order to wrap my right foreleg around her shoulders, pulling her into an embrace. To my surprise, she actually leaned into the hug.

While I gently rubbed her side, she continued, “I went to the bar to get drunk, and there I met her.” She sighed. “I don’t know if you remember her, but Airwaves is the resident radio host of New Detrot.”

“I think I’ve met her a few times,” I replied. “She’s a bit of an eccentric weirdo, if I remember correctly. She kinda creeped me out, dunno why.”

“Do… you remember what she looks like?”

I shrugged. “Not really, why?”

“She’s the spitting image of her brother, Airdrop.”

“Oh…” I answered as another puzzle piece appeared on my mental table, solving part of the mystery.

Iron took another deep breath. Then, she continued, her voice unsteady, “Sh-she recognised me and immediately trotted over to have a few drinks. At first I thought she would make for great company, because I missed having a drinking buddy, but…

“But the more I looked at her, the more I was reminded of that one sentence her brother had told me. ‘Oh, I’ve buried her by the river.’ It echoed in my head, over and over again.” Taking a moment to calm her breathing, she wiped away the tears from her eyes. “A-any time she opened her mouth, I thought she was going to say that. Even when she wasn’t talking, all that was on my mind was the day I lost my sister.”

Her voice growing shakier and shakier, I doubled down on my efforts and pressed my neck against her throat. Normally, being this close to her would have sent my heart racing, but given her current state, I only wanted to be the friend she needed. She let her head rest on mine as she struggled to continue, occasionally opening her mouth before closing it again. Every time, I could feel her jaw quivering.

“Take your time,” I gently reassured her.

Breathing in deeply, she swallowed before finally continuing, “The sadder I got, the drunker I wanted to be… I thought that... that if I just got numb enough, I’d forget about all the bad things. It a-always worked like that before. It d-didn’t help.” She sniffled again. “At s-some point I was drunk enough that I started bawling in the middle of the b-bar. S-she offered to take me home, and I was in no state to decline.”

Was… was this really heading in the direction I thought it was? I really hoped not. Airwaves was a weirdo, but she wasn’t a rapist… was she? I really didn’t know her all that well, but she hardly seemed malicious…

“She carried me a-all the way to h-her house. I calmed down a bit on the trip, but when she t-tried to put me down on the c-couch, I clung to her.” She gave a single sob, and I felt some tears fall into my mane. Her tone turned to a whimper as she continued, “I j-just didn’t want to be alone… I wanted the touch of somepony, anypony. And she w-was t-there, and she was warm. I just wanted her warmth…”

As she started sobbing, I removed my head from underneath hers and guided it towards my chest, holding her close and stroking her mane. It was what Petal used to do when I was having an episode. “It’s okay, let it all out,” I whispered into her ear.

“She wanted to—to leave. But I didn’t—didn’t want to be a-alone,” she wept, constantly interrupted by her own hiccups. “S-so I kissed her. I k-kept g-going, and then we d-did… that. I didn’t want t-to—to, but I just didn’t w-want to be alone…”

She sobbed into my chest for several more minutes. I felt myself start tearing up as well. Seeing her like this hurt. I couldn’t imagine how she must have felt, but I still couldn’t stop myself from crying as she leaned against me. I knew I ought to get angry; to curse Airwaves for not rejecting Iron. And yet, all I could do was sob along Iron Sights.

A few long minutes passed as we sat there, crying in each others’ embrace.

Come to think of it, it was really unusual to witness her in such a vulnerable—even defeated—state, but I was glad she was telling me about it. She’d admitted some things that she had done and regretted, but had barely talked about the times she’d gotten hurt.

Eventually, she muttered, “You know, the worst thing about this is that I couldn’t fix it with violence…” She sniffled. “The next morning I woke up as Sonata, who read the notes in my journal, which said to leave New Detrot. By the time we switched back, I was already over a week away from that place and starting to get low on caps.” She sighed. “As much as I wanted to go back and blow her brains out, survival came first.”

I felt myself raising an eyebrow, and asked, “But that was a long time ago… Forgive me for making assumptions, but wouldn’t you have had time to get back and get your revenge on her? You weren’t really the most… forgiving pony.” Normally, I wouldn’t be advocating for this kind of reprisal, but didn’t want to deny Iron’s sentiment. She’d told us about how she gleefully tortured somepony to death, but she didn’t kill someone who hurt her like this?

“Well, that’s the thing… As much as I despise her for not rejecting my advances, I can’t see her as a fundamentally bad pony. She wasn’t trying to hurt me; I did that all by myself,” she murmured. “A year or two ago, I wouldn’t have cared and just gunned her down. But now? It would make me feel like I am blaming my mistakes on somepony else,” she wearily explained. “On top of that, if I killed her, I’d turn New Detrot against me, and the last thing I need right now is more enemies. Or at least so I thought until my most recent visit to the town. Apparently, she left it a few months before I made it there.”

“I see… I honestly think I’d have done the same thing in your horseshoes. As much as I want to hurt her right now, I understand how you feel…” Maybe I was exaggerating a bit, but this wasn’t the moment to bring my own morals into the picture.

She didn’t say anything for the remainder of the evening, not even when Petal returned. Eventually, Iron took out a memory orb from a small case in her bags and touched it to her horn, losing consciousness.

I meant to wait until she woke up, but ended up falling asleep next to her instead.

Lost in thought, I was pulling our cart, when suddenly Lockpick’s laughter snapped me back to reality. She’d been chatting with Sonata while we moved towards Trotnot, east of Riverbreak.

I had to admit it had taken me a bit of time to really get used to the idea of two ponies sharing a body. Once I knew, however, it was surprisingly easy to tell them apart. When she spoke, it became clear how different the two really were. So much so, in fact, that I ended up wondering how long I would have needed before coming to the conclusion myself. Then again, it might not have ever crossed my mind that they were two separate fillies.

Fillies? Not quite… Iron was young, yeah, but you could hardly tell just by talking to her or observing her life in general. Sonata, however, acted a lot closer to her age, though; like a teenager her age would. She’d made phenomenal progress over the past five weeks, given that prior she was even less developed.

Well, she’d only been in control twenty or so days out of that, but she was still adapting really well. It was hard to believe that she was the same pony that we’d met two months ago. Once she gained some confidence, she quickly began growing into a pony with a very agreeable personality. Charming, sharp-witted, and empathic, she reminded me more of Banter than of Iron.

I looked back at Lockpick. Her growth was also astounding, perhaps even more so given that hers was entirely her own, not spurred on by the memories of somepony else. She used to be so meek and shy, but now she was quickly outgrowing me. Mentally, at least. Physically not so much. While she had grown considerably taller over the last half year, I was far from a small mare, and I doubted she would reach my height anytime soon.

Still, seeing her like this filled me with joy and pride. I was really glad she was starting to become her own mare. I really didn’t see myself as a motherly figure, but I knew I’d contributed a lot to her development, and that inevitably sparked some maternal sentiment.

Another thing about Sonata that I couldn’t help but notice was how she communicated with others, in particular ponies that weren’t part of our little group. She seemed very adept at steering a conversation exactly where it was convenient for her. While I couldn’t exclude the possibility of sheer luck, I’d spent enough time around Banter to realise she was most likely just playing her cards perfectly. There was a certain art to it, and Sonata seemed at least aware of it. However, she also appeared a lot more willing to employ straight up deception.

It was when thinking about this kind of stuff that I still missed Banter. The entire month we had waited for him had me worried sick. Normally, no news would have been good news, but not when a life was on the line like this.

The worst part was that, as much as I wanted to go there and check, I had no idea if I could risk going near Dodge Junction. After all, I’d killed one of its citizens. While it was in self-defence, I couldn’t tell how much that meant to them. In fact, if Banter did survive his injuries, there had been no telling what they’d done with him. In theory, they could have just locked him up. Even though he didn’t hurt anypony, I couldn’t tell if they would have believed that.

After some time, we’d decided to try and sneak back into Dodge City if we didn’t have any news until a month from then. Luckily, it hadn’t come to this. But finding out about Banter’s fate… I sighed and went back to observing the scenery, forcing my brain into the present.

As we walked forwards, minutes turned into hours, and eventually we reached a tiny nameless pre-war village. It was a sign we were getting close to our destination—a small town by the name of Trotnot. It was close enough to Hoofington to be considered part of the region, though it was really more on the outskirts. It was as close to that forsaken city as Iron, Lockpick, and I were willing to go.

Hoofington was the type of place you’d hear horror stories about. Somehow, the wasteland seemed to be at its worst there; in a way, it was the wasteland of the wasteland. You would also hear lots of tales of ponies finding some good spot to scavenge for pre-war technology and becoming rich off of that. In short, it was a region for either greedy fools or desperate scavengers. However, given the nature of the wasteland, it still meant that there were lots of ponies willing to risk it.

Fortunately, none of us were crazy enough to consider it.

In contrast, Trotnot was close enough to it to scare off most sane scavengers. We wouldn’t have considered it if it wasn’t for the ponies of Riverbreak, who assured us it was still relatively safe.

This village, however, really wasn’t anything special. From a distance, I could make out maybe a dozen buildings, two of which I recognised as barns. Once inside the village itself, I couldn’t shake the feeling of similarity to my childhood home.

In many ways, it was. Just like my home, this used to be a farming community, back before the megaspells fell. A simple, small village that was mostly inhabited by earth ponies. I easily imagined how picturesque this scene would have been back in its prime. When I looked around, I could almost see how green, beautiful, and calm this place used to be.

I blinked, and my mental image turned to that of summer. Yellow wheat surrounded the town, its fields stretching on in every direction as far as the eye could see. Foals played in the grass between the houses, giggling as they rolled through the tall blades.

I couldn’t help but feel nostalgic, though I couldn’t tell if I was longing for the simpler days of my life, or for a world two centuries before my birth. This place soothed my soul, but simultaneously reminded me just how much I—we—had lost. How much ponykind had lost. Mom, Blue, Equestria, the Princesses, and now almost Banter. How fleeting everything was, and how we could lose it so quickly. Feeling myself tear up, I pressed my eyes shut and shook my head, forcing the visions away.

“Petal, are you okay?” asked Lockpick. Her conversation with Sonata had long since fallen quiet, and she’d been walking next to me.

I gulped before replying, “This place reminds me of home, and how I got my cutie mark. Makes me nostalgic.”

The two turned to me, expectant looks on their faces. Might as well, I thought before explaining to them how similar this village was to the one I’d grown up in.

“What about your cutie mark?” asked Lockpick. “I don’t think you’ve ever really told me the full story. I doubt I ever got to ask.”

“I earned my cutie mark by taking care of the tree on top of the hill I used to live on. Ever since I could think, I’d felt a strong connection to it, not really understanding why. I just felt comfortable whenever I was close to it, and spent most of my days as a young filly around it,” I said, fondly remembering those days. “I would occasionally water it during a dry spell, or spread some manure near its roots. It really wasn’t anything special, but it made me feel good about myself.”

“Over the years, the tree slowly recovered and ended up blooming magnificently. Even with the tiny amount of sunshine wasteland plants got, this one flourished. When I saw how beautiful it looked on that spring day, and when I realised I was responsible for that, I gained my mark,” I declared rather proudly.

“Wait, is that really enough to fix the wasteland’s vegetation?” wondered Sonata.

“Not really, no. Eventually, I figured out that my special talent was my connection with nature, and that my presence itself helped the tree recover.”

This seemed to only confuse her more, however, as she then asked, “Sorry if I am missing something, but isn’t that something all earth ponies can do? Like all unicorns can use basic telekinesis?”

“Yeah, for a while, I couldn’t really understand why my special talent was so… ordinary, either. Eventually, I realised that it wasn’t ordinary as much as it was general. Just like a unicorn with a gift for spellcasting, I was a natural at earth pony magic.”

“That’s… fascinating,” she admitted. “I was never really taught about it in my education; I only knew about unicorn magic. Well, my mother neglected teaching me biology in general… mostly because it helped her keep me in line.” A chill ran down my spine as I realised exactly what she was implying.

Not letting the topic get gloomy, I explained, “That’s not even all there is to it. I know you’ve noticed I space out quite often. It’s not just daydreaming, but oftentimes visions. Despite how barren and scorched the wasteland flora seems, the dirt itself hadn’t given up, and I often see glimpses of times gone by. I can’t tell if they were the memories of other ponies who’ve shared a bond with the earth, or if they are memories from the soil itself.”

Sonata was about to reply, but as we were walking past one of the houses, a high-pitched voice spoke up, “I don’t know who you are or why you’re here, but you need to leave.”

Looking around, I noticed a rifle barrel sticking out from one of the windows and a green coated colt poking his head out along with it. From the sound of his voice, he had to be a few years younger than both Iron and Lockpick.

“Watch where you point that,” Sonata calmly replied. "You wouldn't want to kill innocents, would you?”

“We’re just passing through, looking to trade if possible,” I added.

“Then leave,” he insisted. Then, something or someone behind him caught his attention, and he ducked behind the window sill for a few moments. When he reemerged, he asked, “You mentioned trade… Do you have any food? We have caps and ammo…”

“We do,” I answered.

“Meet me at the entrance. We’ll talk more there.”

We approached the main door, and an even younger filly opened it. Her coat was a much lighter shade of green than his, and her mane was a dirty white. In the back of the room, the colt stood behind a tipped over table, still aiming the rifle at us.

I couldn’t help but notice what appeared to be a small shrine in one of the corners. On top of it lay a pair of curved horns.

Before I could say anything, Sonata prompted, “If you would like to trade with us, get your hoof off the trigger and lower the gun.” Her voice was calm and collected, but carried a subtle threat in its tone. I knew it was a bluff, because she wouldn’t dare attack a filly and a colt, but her acting was on point. Or perhaps I was reading too much into it, and she simply meant to imply they wouldn’t get any food if they didn’t comply.

Hesitant, the colt didn’t immediately agree. “Emmy, please,” pleaded the filly. “They’re not bad ponies.”

He sighed and lowered the firearm slightly. “But don’t you try anything funny…”

“I’m… sorry. He’s been on edge since the raider attack last week…”

Sonata nodded quietly, and Lockpick spoke up, “That’s understandable, you can never be too cautious. But I assure you, we’re not like that.”

“How many caps are you willing to trade? And what about the ammo? Got any 7.62x39mm rounds? What about 9mm? .308?” Somewhere along the line, Sonata had gained a lot of gun knowledge. She wasn’t an amazing shot like Iron, but she could still handle a gun better than Lockpick or even I.

Looking distressed, the colt replied, “Uh, maybe about fifty? And I d-dunno about the ammo, you can take a look.”

As expected, his previous act was just a façade. It wasn’t too uncommon to see ponies his age act maturely; the wasteland stopped for no one, and orphans were usually forced to grow up all too quick. However, this protective maturity I’d seen before was all but gone now. Those foals must have recently lost whoever had been taking care of them. I felt bad for them, but there wasn’t anything we could really do, except maybe give them a good deal on the food.

Sonata nodded in reply, and he told the filly, “Jade, go fetch the ammo bucket please.”

When she came back down, an even younger colt was following her down the stairs. The container that the filly was carrying was obviously very heavy for her. This would have ended badly as she suddenly tripped, only to be caught in a red aura and safely levitated down.

Lockpick counted the caps, while Iron took a look inside the bucket, moving the cartridges around using her telekinesis. There couldn’t be more than three dozen bullets in there. In the wasteland, ammunition was just as valuable as water, so it made sense as a secondary currency. However, it did have the disadvantage that some cartridges were inherently worth less than others, so some ponies preferred to stay away from it, afraid of taking a bad deal by accepting payment with ammunition they did not recognise.

Emmy watched her sort through the ammo, then briefly eyed the two rifles strapped to her side. “Are you good with guns?”

“Sort of.” Sonata shrugged. “Why are you asking?”

“Well… Less than a week ago, some raiders attacked us. They killed Dad and took Mom, and maybe… We could give you all that in exchange for getting rid of them? Maybe if Mom is still alive, you could get her back…?”

“That’s not something I can do, sorry,” she replied while continuing to look through the bucket. It was true that she wasn’t particularly suited to such a venture, but it still hurt me to hear it. Even Iron wouldn’t accept to do something like that, despite having the skill. There was a point where she would have done it, if only to feel the thrill of… killing. Nowadays, she wasn’t taking any risks, and she probably didn’t feel personally responsible for their fate, either.

Maybe I could convince her—Iron, that is. Maybe she could make an exception… I did know she wasn’t heartless, so maybe a push in the right direction would entice her to help.

But the last time we convinced her to take a job she didn’t want, Lockpick, her, and Banter got badly injured. Sure, she was no longer sick, but there was no way of telling what might happen. After all, she was right to stop living dangerously.

But at the same time… there was a chance these foals’ mother was still alive. When I saw the look on the colt’s face, I realised what would happen to them. Soon they’d need to start scavenging for food or caps. Odds are, that wouldn’t be enough, and they’d all have to make their way to the closest bigger settlement. Maybe start stealing or begging to get by. Or worse…

However, I couldn’t just guilt trip Iron into helping. I would feel horrible if she ended up injured, especially now that I knew that Sonata would suffer the consequences as well. Besides, the two couldn’t really switch at will…

“Sonata, Lockpick, can I speak to you outside for a second?” I asked the two, and when they nodded, I told the three siblings, “We’ll be right back”. After my two companions followed me out, I said, “I know it’s not something we should consider… but could we see if we might be able to help them?”

Neither Lockpick nor Sonata seemed very convinced, though. It was the latter who broke the awkward silence. “You know that I’m not a fighter like Iron, right? I can handle a gun, but I can’t kill an entire raider camp on my own… And she wouldn’t accept to do it, so…”

“She’s right… We’re scavengers, not mercenaries or heroes.”

“But… we can’t just leave them like this,” I pleaded. “Do you want those foals to live through the same hardships as we did? I’m not saying we have to save them at any cost, but… can we at least check if there’s anything we can do? And we might be able to convince Iron to try; it’s not like she would struggle with a band of raiders.”

“Why do you suddenly want to be a hero?” chided Lockpick. “Things are starting to look up for us again, and you’re willing to risk it for ponies we’ve barely just met.”

“It’s not about being a hero, it’s about doing the right thing for once. Can we really walk by without doing anything?” I pleaded. “With how much fucked up shit happens in the wasteland, don’t you ever think we could do just one small thing to make things just a tiny bit better?”

Lockpick fell quiet and avoided my gaze, mumbling, “It’s not our job to do anything of the sort… We have our plate full just trying to get by…”

That wasn’t true! We were rather well off compared to most other scavengers! I didn’t want to throw it all away either, but claiming we were just barely getting by was just straight up wrong!

As I opened my mouth to retort, however, Sonata cut me off, “I think I get it… At the end of the day, the vast majority of ponies are, just like us, only trying to get by. And so, if we all just selfishly look only after ourselves, nothing will ever change. I’m not saying we can save the wasteland or anything, but we might be able to change the lives of those three foals for the better… And maybe one day they’ll help someone too. It all needs to start somewhere.”

Okay, this speech was a bit too much for me. As Lockpick wasn’t replying, I spoke up, “For me it’s not about that… When I look at those three kids, I can’t help but see myself in them… Even if we can’t help them, we should at least try something. I feel like I wouldn’t forgive myself if I just left them like this.” I sighed, looking at the ground. “I can tell that if I don’t do anything, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life; that five years from now, I’ll be falling asleep and suddenly remember how today, I didn’t even attempt to help… I will go alone if I need to.”

Lockpick finally conceded, “Fine, but promise me we won’t try anything crazy…”

After that, we went back inside but didn’t tell the foals about our plan; we had no way to guarantee that we would even properly attempt a rescue, and getting their hopes up would have almost been cruel. However, we still managed to learn the raiders’ whereabouts under the excuse of wanting to avoid them.

The raiders had set up camp in a small apartment complex; three, maybe four storeys tall. Surprisingly, Trotnot didn’t have too many buildings that appeared larger than it, with the possible exception of the clocktower in the distance.

While waiting for the night, we'd observed the building from afar, trying to get a hint of how it was laid out. Some guards sat on the few intact balconies, none of them really paying attention to the surroundings. Of course, them being raiders, it was also entirely possible that these ponies weren’t guards at all. That wasn't an assumption I wanted to make, though. Though maybe the balcony ponies are the sentries, but they’re just lousy at their job.

Now that it was close to dusk, Lockpick, Sonata, and I were hiding in a small building's shadow, less than two hundred metres away from the raider base. So far, we were just considering our options, but a potential plan was to have Lockpick and me try to sneak into the building at night, while Sonata could stay on a nearby roof and be ready to lay down some fire if things went south. This wasn’t our plan A, of course. Given that Sonata had four left hooves, it was better to not take her inside. Besides, she was the only one of us with somewhat decent firearm skills.

Occasionally, I could see ponies leave the complex to take care of their biological needs. If I was to catch one of them going about their business, could I maybe take them out of the equation before even entering the complex?

No, that was a bad idea. I had no way of knowing if I could take out a pony before they were able to make a sound. Previously, I would have doubted even being able to kill a pony with my bare hooves, but ever since I’d strangled that mare in Dodge, I was all too aware of my strength. The noises she made still haunted my nights. However, the question became whether or not I could murder a pony before they were able to alert anypony else.

Besides, I had no idea how long it would be until the next pony came out, which could potentially be after dawn. No, waiting around the whole night wouldn’t do any good. However, it was in our best interest to wait a little bit longer, until at least the signs of activity started dying down.

I could barely make out the outline of a guard on one of the balconies. Or maybe she wasn’t on watch and was just high out of her mind, or whatever it was raider ponies did when they weren’t killing innocents.

We decided to explore the area a bit more, all while carefully staying out of sight from both the raider I’d seen on this side, as well as from the complex in general. We really couldn’t be careful enough. This area wasn’t particularly dense, but none of us had really been able to get a clear look on the other side, since many houses obscured the view from further away.

I walked near a corner, carefully looking around it. As usual, I didn’t see anypony on the other side, and it seemed fairly hidden from the raider’s complex. However, I could see a way to get close to the building. I just had to get to the ruins of the other tower, and from there I’d get shrubs to cover me from potential guards. It was getting dark enough that they wouldn’t see me through the barely alive bush. If I made my way around the back, I’d only be briefly visible from the staircase windows, which weren’t clear anyway.

While this meant that I’d be unlikely to spot anypony on the inside, now that it was dark, it also meant this was a dead angle for the ponies inside. Only downside to using this side to approach was the fact that it was just one big field. In the dead grass and mud, there was absolutely nothing to hide or take cover behind. Not only would I risk getting spotted, but running away would be a hard task as well.

After I shared my plan with Lockpick and Sonata, the former protested, “That sounds like a decent enough plan, but are you sure you want to do this?”

I barely hesitated before answering, “Now that I’m here, yes. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s something I need to do, and now that I know it’s feasible, I don’t think I can really back out…”

“Fine, then I guess I’m coming in with you.”

“You don’t have to, this is my own choice,” I reassured her.

She just shook her head and rebutted, “That’s wrong. I’ll use your own words here. If you go in there and something happens to you, I’ll never be able to forgive myself, and I’ll regret it my whole life. I don’t want to follow you in, but it’s something I need to do. I might not be as quiet as you, but what if you can’t unlock the hostages’ cell? Plus, I have a very quiet gun and a horn to aim it indoors.”

She was right, and I suddenly felt very guilty about roping her in. Before I could put together a reasonable answer, however, Sonata chimed in, “I will stay out here and cover your escape; I really wish there was more I could do, but I’m afraid I’ll be more help out here than in there.”

“Yeah, you’re right about that…”

“We should probably decide on a spot for me to wait. Ideally I’d have a good angle to take on any pursuers, but also a decent escape route. What about that building?” She pointed to a flat-roofed house in front of a large open space.

“Could be good for you, but if we run through there, we’ll be out in the open for way too long.” I looked around a bit more, trying to find another vantage point for her. Even though I didn’t find one, a different idea formed in my mind. “Would you mind if we escaped through there instead?” I showed her the spot where another few buildings stood very close to the raider hideout. “We wouldn’t get shot at from the balconies, while you would still have a good angle to kill our pursuers.”

After she agreed, I made my way towards the back of the building, stopping every once in a while to wave Lockpick over. I walked around the half-dead bush, heading towards the wall. On my way, I made sure to look at the guard, who wasn’t paying much attention. I nodded, and Lockpick quietly trotted over.

At the base of the house, large pebbles were laid out as some sort of ditch; maybe to absorb water? We couldn’t walk right next to the building, as the rocks would rattle underneath our hooves. However, we were close enough that the guards had almost no visibility down here due to the angle. Maybe if they leaned out of their balcony they could see us, but they had no reason to suspect anyone was this close. As it was, we were almost entirely hidden here.

Now that I was nearby, I noticed a small staircase leading down, with a door to the basement at the bottom. This lifted my hopes up as I realised we might not need to go around the building. I went down the stairwell to examine the back entrance. It was a simple, if heavy, door. Lockpick approached it, trying the handle first, then working her magic. After a few moments, she turned the lock counterclockwise before frowning and declaring, “It’s not locked, just blocked from the other side.”

While it looked like it had definitely seen better days, I doubted it would easily come off its frame. Unlike the front entrance, which had probably once been a glass door and had long since shattered. If I bucked with my entire strength, I might be able to break the basement entrance open, but not without alerting the guards and probably waking the sleeping raiders.

Thankfully, Lockpick’s attempt at opening it hadn’t made too much noise. We also hadn’t spotted anypony using the main entrance for about an hour now, so it most likely wouldn’t be too much of a problem to go in through that.

After walking around the building, I took a careful look inside. Not seeing or hearing anything, I ventured inside, Lockpick following behind me. As expected from a place where raiders lived, it reeked. I suspected it would be worse in the rest of the building, though, as this was still relatively well aired out.

In front of me was a staircase, leading both up and down. I had no idea where to start looking. That… was something that had entirely slipped my mind. How would we even go about searching this building? Most of the raiders were probably asleep, but I couldn’t count on it, and I’d likely stumble upon some of them—asleep or not—before I’d find their prisoners. Well, all we could do now was to try and make educated guesses and avoid raiders. First off, the basement seemed like a decent option.

We walked downstairs and opened a door to what must have been the building’s laundry room before the war. Inside, another door leading to what appeared to be storage. Nopony down here, however. I doubted this room was normally used much, given it was clean, save for the dust. Normally, I’d be looking for valuable things to take with me, but given the circumstances, I could not afford to do that.

I started my way back up, Lockpick in tow. The ground floor had two apartments, the door to the left one missing entirely. Inside, I saw a display that screamed “raider”. Piles of bones—including pony skulls—lay scattered near the walls of the room. Approaching them, I noticed something I was expecting, but that nonetheless chilled my blood. Most of the bones were covered in tooth marks. Surprisingly, the room itself was somewhat clean by raider standards. No streamers made of guts decorating the walls, no splayed torsos anywhere. As a result, the stench that permeated this place was almost bearable. Of course, this place was nowhere near actually tidy. Where the raiders didn’t walk, a thick layer of grime covered the floor.

We spent the next five or so minutes looking through this apartment. In the middle of the living room, chairs were arranged in a circle around an electrical heater. The other rooms were all empty, having barely been touched by the gang. Soon enough, we found out that this place was unfortunately as empty as the basement. Lockpick stayed by me the whole time, neither of us daring to split up.

After we exited the left apartment, I turned my attention to the right one, which was locked. During the short moments it took Lockpick to open it, I pondered if it was really necessary. Not only was it unlikely that raiders actually bothered locking a door for themselves, but also, using this apartment to keep their hostages seemed stupid, even for a raider. The prisoners could just escape through one of the windows, after all.

Although it was possible that the raiders locked them up in a windowless room. That wouldn’t be completely brain dead, and meant we would actually have to try every locked door until we found the captives. As a result, we’d likely need to search every apartment that the raiders had appeared to use. Given the thick layer of dust, it dawned on me that it was extremely unlikely anypony was in here. Lockpick agreed, and we moved on to the first floor.

There, both doors were intact and unlocked. We knew we were treading in dangerous territory as the level of filth here almost matched that of the first floor’s left apartment. This meant somepony—or multiple ponies—most likely slept here. But as before, there was also the chance that the prisoners were kept here.

Actually… This was only the first floor. It wouldn’t be impossible to jump out from here unscathed. I couldn’t recall anything blocking up the windows of the first floor, so I doubted anypony was being kept in a room with an outside view. This left only the toilet and a cleaning closet—assuming the floors were laid out the same way as on the lower floors.

After informing Lockpick of that, we checked those rooms. We found them unlocked in both apartments, but thankfully empty. Thus, we moved to the second floor.

Now, we knew the third floor was the one where guards were posted, so we were hesitant on checking it out. However, it would also be the most logical place to keep prisoners. Not only would they be completely unlikely to try an impossible leap of faith out of the window, but also, escaping would be made harder by the presence of a guard.

We decided to go straight to the fourth storey, given we might need to check them all out anyway. As we climbed the stairs, sounds of conversation and commotion from the right apartment came into earshot. When we arrived at the top of the staircase, we noticed that there was a hole in the wall to our left, leading inside the apartment. My guess would have been that the raiders couldn’t get the door open, but needed a way inside. Or maybe one of them just felt particularly destructive one day.

Whatever the case, this meant we needed to be extra careful. Stopping Lockpick in her tracks, I tried to remember the floor layout for each apartment. I knew the guard would be on the balcony, and that this hole would lead to either the closet or the bathroom, and there wouldn’t be a line of sight to the guard.

Stepping through the hole, we found ourselves in the bathroom. We would still need to pass the guard at some point, but given the darkness, it was much simpler to just walk past. Trying to enter through the front door might leave us face-to-face with raiders, so at least here the risk was controlled.

Thankfully, the door leading to the rest of the apartment was open. Given Lockpick’s darker coat, I let her sneak ahead. She waved me over, and I walked past a room to the side. I saw the guard’s silhouette, but he didn’t stir as I went by.

The living room's floor was covered with grime, with two passed out raiders among it. Lockpick motioned to the storage closet, and I nodded. I stared at the sleepers, occasionally checking on the guard. On the inside of the flat, only this one door was locked and seemed to contain some of their weapons. The other two rooms contained one and two sleeping ponies each, none of which seemed to be here against their will.

Lockpick and I pulled back into the corridor of the third storey to reformulate a plan. "I'm really hoping they're not keeping their prisoners in the right apartment, because I have no idea how I'll sneak into a room full of awake ponies. We should probably check out the second floor now."

When I passed the right apartment on the storey below, I noticed something I'd missed the first time. Some of the noise was actually coming from this door, and not the one above it, like I'd previously thought. It wasn't as much a conversation as simply commotion with… with the occasional moan mixed in. Great. Lockpick already knew about that stuff, but having her stumble upon it still felt wrong. Plus it meant there was a good chance we'd get spotted as we entered.

Instead, I decided we would check out the left one first. However, after Lockpick opened the door, we found that it hadn't been touched since the war.

I sighed. There was no choice, we would need to get into a room with some awake ponies. Opting for the less risky option, I told Lockpick to wait outside and to run if the raider made any noise at all. She, however, insisted on coming in with me since she had a gun. Well, no point delaying the inevitable. She wasn't really that young anymore, either.

Thankfully, when I pushed the door open, I realised that the rutting noises came from one of the further rooms, and that it was unlikely they had heard us enter. Seeing that door in particular was closed, I breathed a sigh of relief. Light poured out from the cracks and gaps.

Unfortunately but unsurprisingly, the open rooms all turned out to be empty. Before resigning myself to attempting to enter the last appartement, I decided to take a peek through the keyhole. Given that I fully expected them to rape their captives, it wasn't out of the question that this was the room they kept them in.

What I saw chilled my blood for a split second, before immediately setting it on fire. A mare covered in grime, scars, and dried blood sat in the middle of the bed, a razorblade levitating next to her. Her face was contorted in a mixture of orgasmic bliss and sadistic joy. Underneath her lay a buck on the blurry boundary of adulthood, hooves attached to the bed and covered in several fresh and many more old cuts. Tears ran down his cheeks as he stared at a point way past the ceiling.

Wrath unlike anything I'd felt before erupted within me. Suddenly, I had but one goal, even if it would end me. I would fucking slaughter that mare.

Charging into the room, I leapt over the bed and tackled her throat with my elbow. She didn't have time to scream, barely gurgling as I tightened my grip, before even that was denied for her.

As we landed on the floor with a loud thump, the conversation upstairs came to a grinding halt. Just as I thought we were screwed, a stallion shouted, "Damn it, Edge, don't break the colt before I get a turn!" The room erupted in laughter and cheers, and their ruckus picked back up.

As I felt the mare's throat crack under the pressure, I was filled with gratitude. If it wasn't for that mare in Dodge being my first kill, I wouldn't have had the guts to murder this… this creature whose windpipe I was crushing. Her pathetic struggles filled me with spiteful joy as I choked the life out of her. Doing this to her felt genuinely… good. As horrifying as that revelation was, I knew she deserved it.

But the longer she resisted death, the angrier I grew. How dare this sorry cunt not die when I wanted her to? Just as I had that thought, she went limp. The first time I'd felt a pony die in and by my arms, I'd felt disgusted and horrified. This time, it was a mixture of spiteful glee and reprieve from my impatience.

I rolled the horrid mare off of me and stood up, before spitting on her corpse. Lockpick had been aiming at her, gun unshaky. When she realised the gun was no longer needed, she turned her attention to the young stallion. Utterly horrified, she undid his bindings. The buck, however, barely reacted to being freed. Only after a few moments did he realise somepony else was in the room, turning towards Lockpick. His blank expression slowly became more confused.

As she finished cutting through the rope, she told him with a shaky voice and a smile to match, "It's okay, we're here to rescue you." She looked at me. "Can you give me some bandages?"

As I bent my neck to pull them out, I noticed a mild, burning pain in my lower neck. After I passed Lockpick the gauze, I touched my hoof and found a fresh and worryingly deep cut. Now that I was aware of it, I realised that blood was running down my leg. On the ground, I spotted her razorblade, lying in a small pool of crimson. "I might need some too," I commented. "Bitch managed to land a deep cut on my neck." Thank Luna she'd missed the main arteries.

Her eyes widened as she ran over to me. "Oh shit, let me help you with that," she declared in a shaky, yet determined tone.

Levitating out the first aid kit, she gave the injury a few stinging swabs with disinfectant. Then, since the cut was still actively bleeding, she used her hoof to apply some pressure on the wound as she wrapped the magical bandage around my throat.

Getting priority over the poor colt made me feel selfish, but the injury was severe enough to warrant it.

As Lockpick went about treating it, I again couldn't help but marvel at how far she'd come. What a reliable young mare. Once finished, she turned her attention to the colt, while I sat down in the middle of the room—away from the dead raider.

He seemed to somewhat regain his bearings, enough to react to what was happening around him. After Lockpick finished tightening the bandage on the last of his worst wounds, he thanked her meekly.

She replied with a half smile, her tone now considerably less shaky, "You're welcome. Do you think you can walk?"

He nodded and attempted to stand up, only for his knees to buckle out from under him. "I-I'm sorry, I g-guess not," he stammered apologetically. "S-she always injects me with something that makes me feel r-really sluggish…"

That bitch… "I can carry you out when we free the other prisoners," I reassured him. "Do you happen to know where they are?"

He nodded. "We were a-all kept together in the room right above this one."

Finally some good news! I mentally exclaimed. That was probably the easiest room to stealthily reach. Only thing that worried me was that it was in the same apartment as the awake raiders, but it sounded like they were all in the living room instead. "I wonder if it's possible to reach that balcony from the one across it…" I thought outloud, standing up and trotting over to the window. Given the layout, at most a metre and a half separated the two. "I can easily make that jump, but we'll have to take the main way out of the apartment since I doubt any of the captives can risk it."

"Maybe I can levitate a door across? I think the door leading out to the stairwell is sturdy enough to support a pony," offered Lockpick, walking into the hallway to have a look at it. I heard her magic go off and saw the room grow more and more blue. She came back panting, the main door levitating in her aura. "This should do, I think."

"Lockpick, you’re a genius. I'll sneak up onto the opposite balcony while you levitate the door into place. Then you’ll have to unlock the main door of the right apartment, the one with the sleeping ponies. That way they won’t have to sneak past the guards."

"I was thinking the same."

I rested there another five minutes, letting the magical gauze heal my injury a bit more.

Getting past the guard and sleeping ponies was no challenge, though the door wasn't the sturdiest of bridges. It held my weight, but still didn't feel as steady as I would have liked. It didn't help that the entire time I was on it, I was scared it would slide off one side and plummet to the ground.

However, the reassuring part was that I saw no light coming from inside the room, confirming the colt's claims. Wait, I didn't even bother asking for his name. I mentally chastised myself.

Once on the balcony, I took a peek inside where I couldn't immediately see all that much. After a few moments of searching, I spotted a pony shape lying on the bed. I took a deep breath. Hoping he was right, I knocked on the window. This could end poorly if she was just another raider. Or he, I guess, since I can't really see that well.

The pony reacted immediately, startling upright and sitting up on the bed, briefly looking around. When her eyes settled on me, she frowned in confusion, but walked towards the window door nonetheless.

As she opened it, I briefly panicked. If it was unlocked, did this mean she wasn't a captive? My worry subsided a little when she asked, "I don't recognise you. Are you here to… save us?"

I nodded. "Precisely." I hope she isn't fucking with me. She doesn't look like a raider though, so chances are good.

"Thank the Lord below." She sighed in relief, turning my worry into pure confusion. Whatever, this wasn't the time to question her religion.

She turned her back to me and walked towards the entrance to the room. She lowered her head to the floor and whispered something to somepony apparently lying behind the bed.

Then, a male figure stood up, and a stallion about a few years older than Banter hobbled over into view. “Do… you have a plan?” he warily asked.

“Other than the obvious, no. We will just be sneaking past some sleeping raiders in the apartment over.”

“I don’t like the odds of that,” he mumbled. “But I’ll take it over staying here or killing myself.”

“Well, I was wondering about that,” I replied. “Why did they leave the windows outside open? I mean, it’s not like you could escape from here under normal circumstances, but weren’t they afraid you’d just… you know…?”

He gave a bitter laugh. “They told us we were free to jump. If we lived, they’d even let us go. Sooner or later, I would have tried.” Right, raiders. Sadistic bastards.

I was the first to cross the gap to the other balcony. That way, I could hold the plank in place on this side, while the mare held the other side and made the trip easier for the injured stallion.

After he crossed over, it was the mare’s turn. She admitted being scared of heights as she shakily climbed onto the railing.

She took a few unsteady steps before bolting forward. The sudden motion almost yanked the board out from under my hoof and off the side of the balcony. The noise that made worried me, so I whispered, “Fuck… I hope that didn’t wake any of them up.”

I turned the corner to check, but none of them even seemed to stir in their sleep. I motioned the two prisoners to follow me.

Soon enough, we were back in the stairwell. Going down a floor, we met up with Lockpick and the colt and quickly continued our descent. I offered to carry him, but he declined, insisting he would be fine.

That, however, proved to be a mistake as he only made it a few steps down before his knees buckled, and he fell forward with a loud thud.

“Moonstone!” called out Lockpick.

“What the fuck was that?” shouted one of the raiders.

Chastising myself for not insisting, I ran towards the now unconscious young buck and picked him up. His leg was bent at an abnormal angle, which made me feel even worse about not asserting myself. Too late now, I thought to myself as I continued forward.

A few moments later, I heard one of the raiders shout, “Move it, guys, the cunts are getting away!”

I ordered Lockpick to give the signal, and she pulled out a radio. Soon after, a gunshot echoed from outside. Sonata or Iron had just killed one of the guards, hopefully making our escape easier.

As we ran down the stairs, bullets hit the ground around us, but we made sure to stick to the side that was hidden from our assailants.

When we finally reached the entrance, a single raider had managed to catch up to us. Fortunately, he hadn’t bothered to arm himself, so he was little to no threat to us, as Lockpick put two bullets into his chest.

When we left, we made sure to stay out of sight of the second guard. Soon after, another shot echoed, but I didn’t look back to see what happened.

As Iron fired her rifle multiple more times, we eventually made our getaway. We were far enough away that we could hide in our meetup point and wait for her to join us. I set the colt’s bone before he woke up while we waited.

When she did meet up with us, she had a few drops of blood clinging to her mane and fur. We started walking towards the barn we had passed by this morning.

"I gotta say. As much as I don't appreciate you guys pulling this without my consent, I have to admit this was well done," said Iron Sights in a surprisingly jovial tone.

"Huh? I honestly would have thought you'd be a bit more… upset about it, even though it went almost perfectly to plan," I replied, blinking in confusion.

"While I refuse to play hero, I'm not completely heartless. Admittedly, it's mostly when it comes to foals younger than myself, but I would have felt really shitty if I'd just left them like that. Especially since those were just raiders," she clarified. That… made sense. So I was right to try to convince her… "Still, I would have appreciated being given a choice in the matter."

Well, we couldn't really have asked… Though I understood why she was annoyed. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay. I guess I'm more miffed at Sonata than you. Although I guess I can't really be all too annoyed at her. She knew I'd accept, and it's not like we can deliberately switch. In fact, I didn't get to take control until I was cornered by four raiders."

Afterwards, we set off back to the mare’s home, where we spent the night while one of us kept watch at all times.

During breakfast the next day, before we left for Trotnot, Iron brought up an idea. “So, in Riverbreak, I saw a well-paying job. Only issue is that it sounds very dangerous, so I’m unsure whether I want to do it.”

“What is it?” queried Lockpick.

“To disable the naval defenses. The reward is two thousand caps,” stated Iron.

“Wait, what? That’s a lot of caps. Who’s paying for that? Why are they paying for that?” puzzled Lockpick.

"Essentially, the mayor thinks that if the naval path from Hoofington is opened up, a lot more traders will come by through the river. Getting to Hoofington by boat and through Riverbreak will become a viable alternative for many traders. Currently it's too out of the way to get many traders."

"Why are you suddenly interested in doing jobs again?" I wondered flatly. I was partly curious, partly suspicious.

"Not just any job, this one in particular. This much caps could get us closer to your goal, just like that."

"As much as we could use the caps, I would prefer it if you didn't risk your life. Last time I dragged you into a building, you almost died as a consequence," Lockpick rebutted. “And weren’t you the one who insisted on never doing anything risky again?”

"It's different this time," countered Iron. "I'm not sick, and I have another reason for wanting to do it…" This was odd, to say the least.

I raised an eyebrow and looked her in the eye. "Well, what is it?"

"It's a bit hard to admit," she said, her voice quieter than before. "It's a bit egotistical…" she mumbled before trailing off.

"Why? Spit it out." Since when was she the shy type? She could get a bit arrogant at times, so this seemed out of character.

"I think it would help the settlement towards a good future, and I felt so proud going through Macintown and thinking it was possible because of me," she quietly explained.

I felt my brow furrow as she spoke. Was she really calling selflessness egotistical? Or was I understanding wrong? She must have misinterpreted my look, because she hastily added, "I-it’s only a small reason for why I want to do it, I s-swear…"

I sighed. "Leave it to a merc to think of a noble goal as egotistical. Well, as much as I would prefer you avoid doing risky things, after today I would be a hypocrite to deny you that."

She smiled sheepishly. "Heh… that's actually why I decided to reconsider doing it; normally I wouldn’t even think of doing something as risky."

"I wasn't down with Petal's plan, and I'm not down with this one. It’s not because Petal wanted to do something stupid that you have to as well," Lockpick protested. "Besides, think of Sonata. She'd hate it if you got her hurt like that."

"Actually… She's the one who talked me into giving it a shot. She practically wrote an essay on my PipBuck while she waited for you to get out of the building,” she admitted, tapping the device on her leg. “Don't worry though, I won't try anything I'm not confident in. If there's a roadblock, I won't attempt anything stupid. I understand my limits, and I don’t intend to actually risk my life on this job." What was up with her today? Something was wrong… It was uncommon for her to be this… awkward. She was usually more aloof than anything else.

Lockpick gave her a deadpan look. "Fine, but I'm coming with. I'll slow you down, but I know you can't break into locks or terminals as well as I can."

"You’re not. This will be a lot more dangerous than the factory near Dodge. Hoofington is notorious for having overengineered defenses everywhere," protested Iron. "You'd be risking your life."

"And it's less dangerous if there are two of us. You of all ponies don't get to treat me like a kid, especially not when you’re not acting normal. If you can choose to risk your life for a large pile of caps, then so can I," declared Lockpick. I wanted to help too, but I knew I would only be slowing them down further. “If you’re going, then I’m going.”

Iron sighed. "Fine, I guess. I’m not going to risk your life on top of mine. I knew this was a bad idea anyway. I guess Hoofington’s insanity got to me…”

“Hmm, if you say so. I was actually about to ask if you were high on Mint-Als…”

I couldn’t help but wonder if there might be more to this. Or maybe this was just the result of her being more open with us…

The rest of our trip here was spent scavenging around some old residential areas, businesses, and the industrial area. Of course, we steered clear of any place that might have actual defenses still working. Overall, we managed to make a decent sum of caps.

I was lying in my bedroll, attempting to fall asleep. We had walked a lot today, and the fatigue had accumulated, leaving me extremely tired. My mind, however, was still unable to wind down. It was constantly jumping between the excitement of finally having Banter back, the contentment of having made good progress towards our goal, and occasionally the awful scene I’d witnessed in Trotnot.

Soon, I heard Banter whisper to Iron, “Hey, so what was the real reason those ponies went after you?”

There was a silence for a few seconds, before Iron slurred a reply, “You knew?” She’d only had a bit of wine, so her tone being this unsteady was surprising.

Then again, my own head was spinning quite heavily as well, so maybe the wine was stronger than usual. Though perhaps I was also just that tired.

“I had a hunch. Tell me, what was it?” he insisted.

Iron sighed deeply enough for me to hear it all the way in my tent. “Justice for the crimes I committed, but you probably guessed that as well.” Huh?

Banter’s voice was calm when he replied, “Indeed.”

There was a while during which neither of them said anything. Eventually, Iron sighed. “When I first got there, I ended up splitting off from Bricks; nothing too dramatic, I just realised he was mostly a slaver who wanted to get me into that line of work. I was too busy with my revenge back then to bother, though.”

After a brief pause, she continued, “When Bricks left, I had no food, very little ammo, and no real leads. I tried working some basic jobs around town, helping out the citizens, but they only paid the bare minimum to survive. I knew that if I wanted to continue my search, I needed to stockpile supplies. I needed a real job. Back then, I already had experience as a caravan guard, so I hoped to find a proper job like that. Unfortunately, no one wanted to hire a filly as a bodyguard.”

She paused for a moment, as if considering what she wanted to say next. She sighed again, before speaking up. “And so, I convinced myself I needed to find another way to survive. Any other way that paid enough. I decided to be petty and take my revenge on one of the caravans that had declined my services.” There was another pause, long enough for me to start panicking about what she would say next. “I waited in ambush and shot at them from far enough away that they didn’t have the time to properly react. It felt good; not only had I finally managed to get some more caps—and a solid chunk at that—but I’d also proven to myself that I was not only good enough to protect them, but also to take them down.”

My heart raced as silence draped over the two of them. I’d known Iron had some shady dealings as a mercenary, but I never would have imagined she would do something as awful as attack a caravan. Finding out that the pony I respected most had been a petty bandit… It hurt.

The part that stung the most, though, was that she hadn’t even bothered to tell us the truth, even after promising to do so.

“But I didn’t stop there. I attacked more caravans; three to be exact. I only went for poorly armed ones, as properly guarded ones would have been too difficult to take down alone. Every time, I made sure to leave no witnesses. I foolishly thought I would never get caught, but my fifth attack ended in disaster. I escaped with my life, but knew I couldn’t let myself be seen in Dodge ever again. For a time being, there was a bounty on my head all around that region, but I guess most ponies found it hard to believe a filly would turn to banditry.”

While I cried tears of betrayal, she continued, “I’ve murdered many innocents over those few months, but the worst I’ve done is kill two foals, just a few years older than I was. This was the first time I felt guilty over ending another life. Even I understood that I’d done something horribly, horribly wrong.”

“Is that the only part you regret?” flatly asked Banter. How could he be so calm‽ I wanted to scream, but found my body refusing to cooperate.

“No. I regret it all, and it’s not because of the consequences I have had to face… It’s true that I used to be a complete monster, but eventually I came to realise just what I’d done.” Another long, calm silence draped over them while I was panicking alone in my tent.

Finally, Iron broke it, breathing in deeply. “When I started work as a hired gun, killing was easy. I pulled the trigger, and it was done. But every time I killed somepony around Candy’s age, the guilt was harder to suppress. Eventually, it started spreading; I’d shoot someone, only to be reminded of somepony else I’d murdered. Before long I was crushed by the guilt of all the innocents I’d slaughtered.”

“I… wow. I wasn’t expecting you to feel like this about this whole thing. I’d seen the glee you took in killing, and I assumed you were just a step or two above a raider,” Banter quietly admitted. “I wish I could say this means everything is fine, but I can’t.”

Iron sniffled. “I know. Nothing I do can make up for the atrocities I’ve committed. I understand that all too well, which is why I’m being honest with you. My actions have harmed you, and you deserve to know the full story… If you say the word, I’ll leave tonight and you will not hear from me again. I’ve already given my cap stash to Lockpick and Petal… you can keep it.”

If my body had been able to move at all, I would have no doubt been sobbing right now. This wasn’t okay! I didn’t want to forgive her. She was awful! But I didn’t want her to leave, either. I wanted to beat on her chest and call her every insult I knew. I wanted to have her beg for forgiveness. Instead, I found myself feeling pity for her.

“That won’t be necessary, Iron. Leaving now will not fix my legs, and neither will those caps. The harm you’ve caused won’t go away with you, so I would rather have you next to us as a friend. Although, I’ll ask that you tell Petal and Lockpick what you told me. I can’t speak for them, but I forgive you.” Why? Why would he do that? I wanted to scream, but my body wouldn’t allow it.

Iron started quietly crying, babbling incoherent words of thanks. After a few moments, she asked the question that had been on my own mind. “But why?”

“Like I said, kicking you out now won’t make anything better. It might make things worse, in fact, because despite everything, I still consider you a friend. On top of that, knowing that you genuinely regret your actions makes it a lot easier to forgive you. Just… don’t keep secrets anymore, even if they’re awful.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

“I won’t ask that you tell me your entire life story right here and now, but I’d still like to hear more. I want to know what I’m dealing with, and if we need any more precautions,” he explained, just as collected as before.

“I… uh…” Iron hesitated. “I don’t really know where to start. I’ve… been doing the same thing for Petal and Lockpick. The only thing I’ve lied to them about was the caravans.”

“I dunno either…” He paused to think for a moment. “Why not tell me about Bluemoon? Did you really tell us the whole story?”

“Mostly, yeah. He was my only friend for the many months I worked with that particular group of mercs. However, I would drink myself unconscious nearly every day, and he had to pay the price.”

“How did you even get a job with that group if your addiction was that bad?”

“It wasn’t. When I first joined, it was still manageable.”

“What happened?”

Iron sighed. “I’m gonna need to go on a tangent, first… So, I told you how my guilt got worse every time I murdered a young adult. I’d get reminded of Candy, and how I felt after losing her. Before long, I started realising that everypony I slayed had someone they’d leave behind.”

She sniffled a few times. “It got so bad that, every time I was sober, I would start thinking about the ponies I’d killed. The siblings I’d slaughtered in Ponyville. The foals whose parents I snuffed out for some gang boss. The caravan ponies I extinguished out of petty revenge. None of these deserved what happened to them, and my mind couldn’t stop reminding me of it.” She tried to continue, but her own voice got caught in her throat as a sob interrupted her. For a few minutes, her quiet sobs were all I could hear from the two.

Eventually, she calmed down enough to pick up where she’d left off. “And it only got worse. The other mercs laughed at me the only time I brought it up, saying that it’ll get easier when I got more experience, that killing gets easier the more you do it.”

And yet, it only got harder and harder. The only one who was willing to listen to me was Bluemoon. And yet, I didn’t want to talk. Thinking about it hurt more than anything, and the blissful state that alcohol provided was the break I needed.” Her voice was extremely unsteady, and the longer she talked, the slower the words came out. Even I could tell she was trying her hardest to not break down crying.

“Hey, I asked you to take off the mask. Stop pretending like you’re not on the verge of tears. Come here,” he gently scolded. This reminded me that, despite everything, he was still Banter. He was still basically my older brother and was clearly willing to become one for Iron as well.

The sound of movement, followed by muffled crying. Meanwhile, I was trying to decide how I felt. I’d managed to calm down quite a bit, but my brain was in a state of tug of war. One side wanted to forgive, and the other wanted to hate. The chaos in my mind was such that I couldn’t follow any particular train of thought, but it felt like forgiveness was winning.

What snapped me out of it, however, was the sound of magic, followed by somepony drinking from a cantine. “Pretty much the only ponies I don’t feel bad killing are raiders,” mumbled Iron.

“Is compassion, misguided as it might be, really such a bad thing?” he asked in a reassuring tone.

“No, I guess not,” was the last thing I heard Iron say before she started gently snoring.

This simple exchange finally let my exhausted mind drift off to sleep.

Chapter 15 — Star Seeds

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 16 — Platinum

Part Three

Platinum

My right foreleg was asleep, my rib cage was very sore, and I really needed to pee. Getting out of bed would require me to move, and I frankly couldn’t be bothered with that right now. For now, I could sleep a little more.

Probably wasn’t the smartest idea to continue sleeping on my right leg, so I might as well shift around to restore the blood flow.

I painfully turned onto my left side, grunting despite myself. It wasn’t an easy task without the help of my right foreleg, and my workout had really done a number on my abs. I’d need to tone it down a little.

I tried lifting my hoof up to my face, if only to avoid sleeping on it weirdly again. It was starting to hurt a lot in the place where I’d pinched the artery. This would wake me up properly, wouldn’t it?

Uh, that was odd. Why did that movement feel so light? The pain only got worse when I tried to move the limb. Sweet Celestia, what if I’d slept on it for so long I’d lost the limb‽ As that thought shook my mind awake, the headache I’d been ignoring spiked, and my skull felt like somepony just shot me.

I reached out with my front left hoof in an attempt to massage my other one. And… missed. I gulped. I couldn’t find my arm. A terrible chill ran through my entire body. My eyes shot awake, and I threw off the blanket, wincing at the pain in my chest.

There it was… a stump covered with a bloodied bandage. Then nothing, again.

I was awoken by the sound of movement behind me. Somepony was walking around, not particularly careful to be quiet. The room I was in was quite dark, but I could definitely make out some walls.

I turned around, making sure not to put any pressure on my right leg as I had no feeling in it. The entire movement was slow due to how much my chest hurt, but I really wanted to see whoever just dared wake me up.

When I noticed how light my right leg felt, I remembered the dream I’d had. Just to be sure, I checked my hoof, and found out that my mind hadn’t dreamed anything up. However, the bandage was now almost perfectly clean.

I’d lost my front right leg, and the same horrible shiver as earlier shook my body. My mind was racing for an answer, unable to comprehend what was going on. None came, however, and my train of thought was quickly interrupted.

“Are you awake?” asked the stallion in a low voice, as if afraid to startle me.

I turned my gaze towards him. “Yeah…” was all I could muster. He lit an oil lamp, and I finally got a good look at him.

He was a rather small buck in his late twenties or early thirties. His greyish-blue mane was short and well-kempt, while his silvery white coat was surprisingly clean for a wastelander. What drew my attention, however, was the pair of wings at his side. He was the second pegasus I’d met in all these months outside the stable, though he reminded me more of an earth pony in terms of posture and attitude.

“Are… you okay?” he hesitantly asked after a long pause. I opened my mouth to reply, but he quickly added, “Bad question, I suppose. Frankly, I am not really sure what to tell you. I guess… Does anything hurt more than it should?”

“My entire body?” I suggested with a vague motion of my left fronthoof. “My memory’s a bit hazy, so I have no clue what happened, or how I should be feeling.” I pointed to my barrel. “By the pain in my chest, I’ve got at least a few cracked or broken ribs. Other than that…” I attempted to shrug, but the gesture came out wrong. “I’m fine, I’ve had worse.” I’d overcome this in no time, there was no need to panic. Well, my leg wouldn’t grow ba—No, no, no, no use thinking about that now. It’ll be fine. Just don’t think about it, Candy.

He raised an eyebrow. “You seem to be shaking, are you sure you are ‘fine’?”

“I just need… time, I think…” As if time would give me my leg back. “Anyway!” I resumed, forcefully pushing those thoughts out of my head. “I’m Candy Cane, what’s your name?” I grinned at him, looking into his teal eyes.

He looked confused, and after a few moments, he hesitantly answered. “I am Airdrop, and I work as a courier. This is my home, but I spend most of my time traveling all over the wasteland.” His voice was low and monotone, and his choice of words reminded me of the way my friend used to speak when her mother told her to act properly. What was her name, again? Couldn't be important. Or was it? No time to think about it.

“I work as a caravan guard, and recently decided to work as a sentry with my sister, over near Fillydelphia.” I avoided the word 'mercenary', as it had some rather unpleasant connotations.

Oh, that’s right, she wasn’t just my friend, she was my sister.

No, that didn’t quite seem right, either. I was missing something.

Airdrop raised an eyebrow. “Fillydelphia, huh?”

“Yeah, we were headed there through Manehattan, and that’s when…” I suddenly realised how thirsty I was, and how badly I needed to use the toilet. “Uh, I actually really need to use the restroom, and I could use some water.”

“Here is some water. I will get you a bucket, so you don’t need to exert yourself.” He reached into his saddlebags and grabbed a canteen, offering it to me. I tried to pick it up telekinetically, but lightning shot through my head. I screamed in pain, and the flask fell to the ground with a metallic clank.

“Fuck me sideways! I forgot, yer horn’s fractured or somethin’. Shit, fuck, I’m sorry,” he panicked. Despite the pulsing agony at the base of my horn, I couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the sudden switch in accents. How the hell?

At that, he quickly regained his composure, rolling his eyes. He lifted the flask to my lips, but the motion was so awkward that some of the liquid went down the wrong tube. Water splashed the sheets as I hacked and choked, agony spiking in my chest with every cough. After a few moments, it was over, and I was left with tears in my eyes.

Airdrop gave me an apologetic smile. "I will have to think of a better way to do that until your horn has healed. Maybe I can find some straws somewhere," he pondered before turning his attention to the back of the room. "Now then, let me get you that bucket."

He left the room, then came back with said container and some rags, before exiting again. During the silence, questions gradually bubbled to the top of my mind. Why did he help me out? I mean, in his shoes, I would have done the same. However, my experience in the wasteland had taught me that my set of values was not a very common one out here. Did he expect payment? Well, he could have just taken it from me and left…

Unless he did have enough of a moral compass to not leave me to die, but still take my caps and equipment, not caring that I couldn’t survive without it?

Or was it something completely different? Images from that time flashed in my mind’s eye, and I shuddered. No, I would not think about that. Sure, the risk was there, but I couldn’t just assume he would. There wouldn’t be much I could do if that was the case, anyway. Not in my current state, at least. I needed to leave as soon as I could move.

When I finished, I struggled to place it on the ground. It was becoming more and more difficult to ignore how I felt about my missing limb. And yet, despite how horrible my situation was, my mind was screaming at me that it was the least of my worries.

I stared at the bandaged stump. I still couldn't really process it. My leg was gone, but I failed to grasp the severity of that fact. Such a huge piece of me was missing, and all I could think about was that I was forgetting something else, something important.

"Are you done?" called out Airdrop from the next room over.

"Mhm," I replied halfheartedly.

He came back into the room, and must have noticed my gaze, as he told me, "My sincerest condolences. I cannot even begin to understand how you must feel."

"That makes two of us," I replied with a weak smile.

“What even happened to you? You looked like you fell from the second or third storey. I’ve taken you to a doctor, though, and she deemed you to be stable after the healing potion I administered." That explained why I was still alive.

"Actually, I fell from the roof," I corrected him without thinking.

"The… roof? Of such a tall building…?"

"Yeah, I was—" Instantly, my mind was filled with flashes as I remembered. "Iron!" I shouted, scrambling to jump to my hooves, ignoring the pain throughout my body. How could I forget? I’d wasted so much time lying around!

Airdrop gently held down my shoulders. I doubted he had enough strength to really hold me back, but the added weight made it a lot more painful to get up. As I opened my mouth to protest, he cut me off, "Calm down. I don't know what is going on, but you are in no shape to get out of bed," he said, changing accents mid-sentence.

I lay back down, sighing. How long had it even been? "Please, I need to find her…" I begged.

"Whom do you need to find? I can help you, if you promise to stay in bed," he reasoned.

If he was an earth pony or a unicorn, it would have taken a lot more convincing, but given that he was a pegasus and could easily sweep the city… "My sister. She has a brownish pink coat and a green and yellow short mane. About a head shorter than you. Her name’s Iron Sonata." I swallowed nervously. "Please hurry…"

He nodded, then turned towards the window I'd previously thought was boarded shut. I realised it was actually a wooden door. When he opened it, I noticed I was actually several storeys above the ground and could see over a large portion of Manehattan from here. It was getting dark outside, though it was still brighter than inside.

After jumping out of the window, he waved at me one last time before closing the door behind him.

When he left, my mind immediately started worrying again.

What happened to Iron? What did Princess Luna want from an innocent filly? Well, maybe not quite innocent, but it wasn’t like Iron had somehow provoked the ire of a goddess. Goddess? No… That thing wasn’t a goddess. That thing may have looked like the princess from history books, but the latter never would have acted in such a vile matter.

Only a monster would dare impersonate sweet Princess Luna. Still, what did such an awful creature want with Iron? What did she—no, it—do to her? I badly wanted to get up and start looking, but where would I start? In my current condition, I’d probably pierce a lung with a broken rib just by walking around. I would likely die before even managing to talk to anypony, let alone somepony with any sort of clue. Airdrop was right about that part.

It had been at least twenty hours or so since I’d lost the fight. Maybe a day or two longer, depending on how long I’d been unconscious. I mentally kicked myself for forgetting to ask such a thing. If only I had my PipBuck, I could check the date on that…

I also should have asked him why he’s helping me… I very much wanted to believe that he was doing it out of the kindness of his heart, but I knew that was very unlikely to be the case. What could I do? I knew my body would recover relatively quickly, but would it be fast enough? What if I went to sleep and woke up bound?

No, I couldn’t worry about that now. Maybe tomorrow, but I doubted even my body would be able to be back to one hundred percent this quickly. This meant I definitely needed to sleep as much as I could.

However, no matter how long I tried, I never managed to fall asleep. The mixture of pain, guilt, and worry prevented me from finding any rest. Maybe if I hadn’t just been unconscious for double digit hours, I’d be able to.

Time passed painfully slowly, especially after everything became dark. I really couldn’t tell how long it had been since Airdrop had gone out; all I was left with was an anxious boredom.

Eventually, after enough millenia had passed to make even Celestia grow old, the wooden door opened. I didn’t get my hopes up just yet.

After landing inside, he made sure to close the window. Then, as he turned around and met my gaze, his neck slumped, cutting eye contact.

My anxiety rose with every passing moment he kept quiet. He sighed. “I am very sorry.” He tried to look at me again, but immediately averted his gaze. “I have not been able to find her. I have asked most regulars, including some shop owners and scavengers. Nopony has seen her,” he slowly confessed. A short wave of relief washed over me, immediately followed by a torrent of guilt.

“But…” I started, but couldn’t get myself to continue. I didn’t know what to say. My mind was short-circuiting. I hated myself so much for the way I'd felt, no matter how briefly.

“I shall continue searching tomorrow. Perhaps there is still somepony I haven’t asked.” He paused for a moment. “Would you mind telling me what exactly happened? Maybe that would help.”

I sighed, trying to remain calm, hoping that would be the reset my brain needed right now. “We w-were on our way to Filly through here and were resting on the rooftop, planning t-to spend the n-night there.” I gulped, my vocal cords refusing to cooperate. Trying to remember the details of that scene was also bringing back everything I had felt that night, even that horrible part of me. I could tell I was on the brink of tears, but I refused to let him see me cry.

“Take your time, I understand this must be difficult for you,” he reassured with a gentle smile.

“S-suddenly, a p-p-pony appeared behind us and told Iron to g-g-go with her.” I remembered my exact thoughts at that moment, and the dam broke. I inadvertently let out a long wail before devolving into uncontrollable sobbing. “I—” Attempting and failing to speak, I continued crying my soul out. At some point, I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder.

Eventually, after Celestia only knew how long, my wailing slowed down. I knew what I had to do, now.

I attempted to get up again, but he pressed his hoof down on my shoulder before I could even gain any momentum. “I told ya to stop tryin’ to get up,” he scolded. “Dontcha think it’s mighty rude ta try and kill yerself right after someone does the hard work of savin' ya?”

“B-but—”

“But what? I know you want to save your sister, but you ain’t managing in your condition.”

“I have to,” I protested, slumping back on the pillow.

He let go of me. “What makes you think you do? You’re just going to die, and everything you tried will be for nothin’.” Instead of gently putting his hoof down, he did so with enough force for it to reverberate through the room.

I turned to my right side and poked him in the chest with my hoof. “You think you know better than me, but you don’t. If I don’t try my absolute hardest to save her, it’s the guilt that will fucking eat me alive. Tell me, how else will I deal with this guilt?”

He softly moved my hoof off his chest. “I understand you see yourself as her protector, but there’s no fuckin’ reason for you to feel this way. Yes, you failed, but do you see the state you’re in right now? Whoever did this had no issue fuckin’ you right up, so why do you think it’s your fault? It sure ain’t like you could have withstood more bullets.” Every few words, he shook his hoof, pointing it at me whenever he referred to me.

“I hesitated!” I screamed at him, ignoring the pain in my chest. “I fucking hesitated! Sweet Luna burn my soul, I hesitated!” I stopped for a moment, panting heavily. Airdrop looked at me in shock, staying quiet the entire time. Tears were streaming down my face, but I wasn’t hiccuping or sobbing anymore. Instead, a mixture of self-hatred, anger, and sadness burned my insides.

“And I know exactly why!” It hurt to talk this loudly, but I didn’t care, I deserved to feel this way. “It’s because I’m a horrible, shitty pony, and I’ve been thinking of her as a burden…” I didn’t understand why I was telling this to a complete stranger. Perhaps it was because he was a stranger that I dared admit it.

“Part of me wanted her gone. Part of my shitty, egoistical self indulged in the thought that my life would maybe be easier without her. I could have attacked way sooner, before Iron was disarmed, and we could have killed that bitch together. But. I. Fucking. Hesitated.”

I wasn't done yet, though. "Do you know how I felt when you told me you didn't find her? I was relieved. Fucking. Relieved. That's how Princess damned shitty I am. I don’t want those thoughts and feelings, and yet they keep echoing in my mind!"

While I panted heavily, he was clearly taken aback by my sudden outburst. Finally getting it off my chest felt so fucking good that I couldn’t stop.

The brief pause had calmed me down a little, and my voice was now a lot quieter. “I left the stable to go look for her, and I let her convince me to not go back. I decided she was my responsibility, and that no matter what, I would take care of her. That I would make sure she got the childhood she deserved but never had.”

I sighed deeply and considered holding in the next thought. Screw it, I’d already said so much, I could confess a little more. “All it ever got me was suffering. I was shot at, beaten, and raped, and now I’ve even lost a leg. All because of her. If she had just agreed to come back with me, none of it would have happened.”

My anger was slowly making way for sadness. “Worst of all… I think she would have been just fine alone. She’s… a little deranged. She enjoys killing and is very good at it, too. She adapted so quickly to the wasteland that I struggled to even keep up with her… I think I was just slowing her down.”

The realisation hit me like a train. “She would have become a raider if it hadn’t been for me, though… That alone makes my presence out here worthwhile.” Of course, all I could think about is my own self, I mentally scolded. All I could ever think about was myself.

A few memories came back of that small town at the foot of the mountain, and the ghouls that almost killed her. “Or maybe she would have even died…”

After I trailed off, my guilt started bubbling up again. Getting all of that off my chest felt good, but it also made me realise just how egocentric, selfish, and irrational I was being. My tears just wouldn’t stop flowing, and I broke down again.

Airdrop was clearly attempting to find anything to say, as he kept opening his mouth, only to close it again in mild resignation.

“And h-here I fucking am, j-justi—hic—fying to a stranger why I hoped she would just d-disappear.” I desperately wanted to continue, but the sobs were tying my throat shut. “I’m—hic—the f-fucking w-worst, and e-even if I die looking for h-her, that’s b-b-better than living—hic—with the g-guilt.”

He simply stared at me while I wept. Each cry hurt, but that didn’t matter. I deserved to suffer.

I lost track of time, sitting and sobbing. Gradually, I calmed down, before eventually feeling nothing but emptiness.

When I finally fell silent, Airdrop spoke up, “It sure don’t sound like you’re a bad mare, Candy.” Before I could protest, he continued, “Not many ponies would have abandoned their comfortable life inside a stable for somepony else.”

“I guess…” But I wasn’t convinced. “Those thoughts are still awful.”

“They kinda are,” he agreed with a nod. “But… I don’t know what exactly happened, though it sure sounds like most ponies would feel the same way in your shoes. If anything, the fact that you’re aware they’re bad proves just how darn pure your heart is. Your sister’s lucky to have you.” He looked me in the eye with a compassionate smile.

“Tell ya what,” he started before quickly correcting himself, suppressing his accent. “Let me tell you about an idea. We should give you a week or two to recover. During that time, I will be searching for Iron, and maybe we will find some kind of clue as to where to go next. Then, we will travel and look for her together.”

“You would do such a thing for a stranger?” I raised an eyebrow. This was suspicious. “What’s in it for you?”

Airdrop chuckled. “You will help me with my deliveries. Simple as that. If I have somepony strong to pull my cart, I can get a better pace. Plus, if I have understood matters correctly, you are quite a fighter, yes?”

“Huh? I just lost a leg, and you want me to pull your cart? And fight for you?” At least he was being honest, but I had no idea how I could possibly go about doing that.

“You should not sell yourself short, Candy Cane. You are much stronger than myself.” He had a point. He wasn’t particularly skinny, but his physique was nothing to write home about, either.

“I suppose, but I’ll have you know I’m a terrible shot. I was best at close quarters combat. Now, with the state of my leg… I’m not sure I’m anywhere near a decent fighter anymore.”

“Well, two is always better than one. Besides, if I do not have to pull the wagon, I can always scout ahead and check for any bandits or raiders. We can now avoid fighting.” He beamed warmly, and I found myself smiling back.

“That seems mutually beneficial,” I conceded, glad he was just looking to make a profit. If he had any sort of ulterior motive, it wasn’t anything he could already have done to me.

"Besides," he continued, "you were willing to run out of here in your current state, so I am inclined to believe you would be capable of getting back on your hooves fast."

After a bit of a back and forth, I accepted his offer.

Over the next week, I ended up telling Airdrop about Iron’s upbringing, the stable, and everything that had happened since we had left it. I told him about how she knew Silver Tongue was shady, and how she didn’t say anything. I told him about how I wanted to help ponies, and how Iron’s existence made it impossible for me. How I had to ignore my own morals to make sure she would be fine.

I also confided in him my worries for her future. Things like her unhealthy fascination for blood and violence, or her inability to inherently understand what was right or wrong. And especially her ability to kill in cold blood.

I had already told him so much on the first day, what difference did it make if he knew the whole story anyway?

Physically, I ended up recovering quite quickly, as was usual for me. From my third day on, I started walking around the apartment. It was then it really hit me that I had lost one of my legs. I was tempted to sleep that day away and wake up without the depressing thought.

However, I ended up pushing it away, focusing on Iron instead. I didn't have time to lounge around and feel sorry for myself for losing a leg while Iron might lose her life. I needed to get back on my hooves as quickly as possible. Besides, this wasn't anything I couldn't deal with. I still had three other legs, I'd be fine.

A few days later, I'd started lightly exercising again. On the bright side, I now needed to exercise one leg less. Well, some exercises were tougher, but I needed to do less of them. That's what I tried telling myself, but I still couldn't help but feel bitter.

I'd just finished my reps for the day, and was now relaxing on my bed.

Airdrop came into the room, breaking me out of my reverie. He was balancing a tray on his back, which he then set down on the table. I got out of bed and hobbled over. I couldn’t be bothered to attach my peg leg for such a short distance, anyway.

Airdrop took his cup from the tray and sipped the white tea—a type that I only recently became aware of. Then, he said, “This might be a bit of a heavy topic, but I don’t think you told me anything about the pony who attacked you and your sister.”

“Yeah…” I floated my own cup over, drinking the hot liquid to buy myself some time. Eventually, I couldn’t delay any further. “I didn’t know if you’d believe me, so I avoided the topic… It… was an alicorn. Looked a lot like Princess Luna, but I know she wouldn’t do such a thing.”

“Hmm… I have heard of alicorns being spotted near certain settlements, and that they supposedly steal some ponies away. I thought it was just a rumour, but if you’re certain, that might not be the case.”

That took me by surprise. “Wait, you believe me? I thought you would just call me crazy, or say I hit my head too hard.”

“I have met enough ponies to be able to tell at a glance which ones are crazy and which ones are not. Now, you might have a bit of brain damage, that certainly cannot be excluded. Given that it does match the occasional rumours I have heard, I think you are not, at least not as badly.”

He took a sip of his tea. “Now, you might also be trying to pull wool over my eyes, and that, I have no way of disproving. However, my instinct tells me to trust you, and I would rather be scammed while trying to assist than risk ignoring a genuine cry for help. Not that my gut has failed me very often, anyway.”

“You sound like a kind soul,” I said to him. Truth be told, I was still afraid that he was trying to trick me. I didn’t know what he might be trying to do, but I would never blindly trust again.

He smiled. “Thank you, but I am just doing what I think is right. My late mother always told me to be a good pony. I do not know if I am, but I do try my hardest.”

“Oh, my condolences. What kind of mare was she?” I broke eye contact, suddenly finding my tea particularly interesting.

“Oh, she was quite… unstable. She deserted the Enclave to help surface dwellers, but they took advantage of her whenever they could. I realise I risk following in her footsteps, with my current way of helping ponies in need, so I also attempt to be more… reasonable about my generosity. So far, it has worked out, so I think I may be doing a better job than she was.”

I was about to respond when I was interrupted by the doorbell. It occasionally rang, and Airdrop would excuse himself to get their package. I’d seen some of the ponies he talked to, but most of the time I couldn’t be bothered to walk over to the other side of the building just to look at them through the window.

A minute later, he came back and sat down. “Where were we?”

“You were telling me about your mother, and that kinda made me wonder… Do you by chance have a sister? I’ve met someone who looked rather similar to you. She was a pegasus, too.”

His eyes widened. “Yes, yes I do. I haven’t spoken to her in quite a while, though. I admit I miss her, but I thought she might be dead.”

“Is her name Airwaves?” If it was, their mother wasn’t very original.

He shook his head. “No, it is not, at least not to my knowledge. Her name is Snowfeather. She might have changed it, though.”

“That’s a possibility. What did she look like?” I asked.

“White mane, white fur. Closer to pure white than me and my blue-ish tint. We look very similar. She has green eyes, too,” he explained.

“That sounds exactly like her,” I told him, prompting a smile.

“I could hug ya if it wasn’t fer yer injuries.” He beamed, before having his face turn bright red. I wasn’t that injured anymore, but I wasn’t going to complain about not receiving a hug from a buck I barely knew. “Uh, I mean. I am pretty sure that it is her.”

Still, I couldn’t help but smile at his antics. “I’m glad to hear that, but how are you so sure it’s her?”

He chuckled at my question, and I soon realised it was silly. “Well, there aren’t too many pegasi in the wasteland, as you’ve noticed. Even fewer that exactly match her colours.”

“Oh, right.” I gave a sheepish laugh. “That makes sense, but why do you think she changed her name? Snowfeather is pretty indicative and memorable, is it not?”

“Mother taught us to use a name that would immediately tell ponies what we do with our lives. It’s why I go by Airdrop, despite it frankly being a bit of a subpar name. Ponies will remember a courier by the name of Airdrop a whole lot easier than a pegasus named Platinum Down who delivers packages.”

“Platinum Down? Is that your real name?”

He nodded.

I gave him a sincere smile. “Well, nice to meet you, Platinum Down.”

We fell quiet for a while, and I started thinking. At this point, I could effortlessly walk around the apartment, and most of my injuries had healed to a manageable state.

Eventually, I told him, “You know, I think I’m ready to start looking for Iron.”

Platinum looked up from his tea, eyes wide. “Are you sure? It has barely been eight days.”

I nodded. “Yes, I’m doing pretty well physically. I just can’t stop myself from mentally running around in circles.”

“All right, we can start tomorrow.”

I approached the merchant's stall. He was the first stop on my list of things to check and ponies to ask.

From the way I trotted, one would think I'd had years of experience with a peg leg. At least I felt this way. I'd wasted a lot of time, but I was now finally ready to look for Iron the proper way.

The stallion started giving me his sales pitch in a thick accent before perking up as he noticed Platinum behind me. "Oh, hey Airdrop, she the mare ya told me about?"

Platinum nodded.

The merchant immediately perked up. "Ah've been meanin’ to tell you," he said, "Ah have news about the filly you done asked me about!"

My jaw dropped. "Really? You need to tell me, I'll do anything. I don't have any caps on me, but I can work off my debt later—"

He interrupted me, "Relax, Ah'll tell ya fer free. Ah'm not even sure it's her, and Ah'd feel horrible making ya pay fer information like that."

I let out a relieved sigh, but pressed on. "So? What did you hear? Or did you see her?"

Shaking his head, he replied, “Ah ain't seen her, no. But Ah heard that Red Eye stooped to a new low n’ hired a child soldier. O’ course, there ain’t no way to tell if that's true or just a rumour."

This made sense, she must have freed herself from her foalnapper and decided to go where we were meant to go anyway. I had a clue!

Not wanting to immediately bolt to Fillydelphia, we looked around the town a bit more on my insistence. However, when after half a day we still hadn't found another clue, we set off east, towards the slaver city. Apparently, that's what it was, and I’d been unaware of it until Platinum told me.

Red Eye was trying to rebuild Equestria, yes, but his methods were not something I could agree with. I wondered if I would have had a different opinion once Iron and I got there. I decided that surely, I would have drawn the line and found something else to do.

Footnote: Level up!

New Perk: Falling with Style — Any falling damage you take is halved.

New “Perk”: Maimed — You’ve lost one of your legs, permanently reducing your movement speed by 30%.

Author's Note

Sike lol, Candy lived. I don’t have much more to say, other than I’ve been waiting to write this chapter ever since chapter 8.

Some of you probably saw it coming, given how poorly executed her death was. Definitely can’t wait till I get to rewrite those two chapters.
Though at the same time, I liked the idea and abruptness of her death, and it almost made me want to reconsider my plans. But no, the show must go on.

Chapter 17 — Mutation

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 18 — Growth

Growth

My right leg ached horribly. The burning sensation was usually manageable, but tonight it was particularly bad. Not mind-numbingly painful, but still much beyond what I could casually tolerate.

Normally, I would read something in the evening, but the pain was bad enough that I didn’t even try. I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus, so why bother?

This stupid leg… Losing it had forced me to relearn moving around, both in combat as well as on a daily basis, over the course of the past six months. I still wasn’t as fast and agile as I’d previously been, but that was just a matter of time.

But to add insult to injury, this stupid thing just had to go ahead and continue hurting even though it was long gone…

Obviously, I was aware of phantom pain, but knowing about it didn’t make it suck any less.

I bit the pillow harder as another wave of searing pain washed over me. It wouldn’t even be so bad if it was at least constant. Instead, it pulsed, never letting me get acclimated.

It was already late, and I was tired, but sleeping would be impossible. I opened my eyes again, glancing around the room.

I didn’t have any pain medication and was out of alcohol as well, but I really wanted something, anything to take the edge off. A good enough distraction. I knew nothing new had appeared in the room since I’d last looked, not even five minutes ago. And yet, I kept searching, hoping to get some new idea.

My eyes settled on my shotgun. I’d been skipping over it since it wasn’t entertaining in the slightest, but maybe there was something to do with it? I could clean it again, but I’d already done that last week, and it hadn’t seen any use since.

I stared at it for at least a full minute before realising that wasn’t my only option.

I gulped as I pushed the thought away.

But my mind kept coming back to it, unable to find anything else to attach itself to.

After all… This could solve all my issues, couldn’t it?

Yeah, it would hurt a lot, but it would only last for a few seconds, probably less.

Besides, what difference would it make?

It wasn’t like the wasteland needed more hypocrites, was it now?

The world wouldn’t care, so why should I?

All my daydreaming of trying to make the wasteland a better place, of doing the right thing… In reality, I couldn’t even save a single fucking filly.

Sweet Luna was I pathetic. I would constantly think about what I could do better, what I should do to fix the world. And yet, I’d refused to put it into practice.

All because I’d been trying to keep Iron happy. I gave up on my morals to keep her safe and ensure a future for her. And yet, I failed even at that.

I’d almost ended up working for a bunch of slavers, and I dared to think of myself as a good pony? Disgusting.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and floated the gun over to myself. I sighed deeply as I looked it over.

Was I really going to do this? What about Platinum? I doubted he would really be shaken by my death, but he would probably be sad. Not to mention, I would be leaving his packages unattended.

I was pitiful and a hypocrite, yes, but I was helping. Even if it was only a little bit, I had to hold onto that. Assisting him with his work definitely made the wasteland a better place. Not because it saved many lives, but because it brightened them.

And besides, I couldn’t give up right now. There was still a chance Iron was alive, and losing hope would only ensure I would never find her. Maybe she’d been sighted in one of the nearby towns or settlements. Platinum was currently in Marely, and he might find some information on her.

Whenever we got to a region, I would remain in a central location and guard the cart while he flew around, delivering individual packages as well as picking up new ones.

I put the gun away, hiding it underneath the bed, where it was out of sight but still easily reachable in case I got attacked.

Tomorrow, Platinum would come back and scout ahead. He would decide on where we would go next, and which road we would take. I was hoping we would finally leave the East Coast area soon. We’d practically combed it without finding any trace of Iron.

Usually, we would pick a bigger settlement to base our operations out of, but this time it was more practical to stay on the outskirts of this small, nameless town.

I’d already asked everypony here about Iron, but didn’t get a single positive reply, as usual.

I lay there and waited. Waited for the pain to pass. Waited for my brain to finally fall asleep. Waited for it to stop reminding me of my fuck-ups. Waited for a sign from Luna.

I tried to keep my thoughts happy, but they would inevitably wander back to my failures, and to my gun. I wasn’t actively considering blowing my brains out, but I was uncomfortable every time my mind landed on the firearm.

I couldn't tell how long I lay there, ruminating on my mistakes and flaws. Suddenly, I heard a gunshot, followed by more; screaming and shouting in the distance. I immediately jumped out of bed.

My unimportant thoughts were quickly pushed aside by the urgency of the situation. After I attached my metal leg to the straps keeping it in place, I quickly slipped into my barding.

The actual pegleg was just a tube with the end soldered shut. The small base didn't make it as stable as it could be, but I liked precision more than I liked the extra balance. Being able to press down on a smaller area allowed for a hoofful of new applications for the prosthetic.

I did however have a flat base I could add for comfort, and kept it on most of the time. I only really took it off for training.

The cup into which my stump fit had been made by a blacksmith in Seashell, a small settlement northeast of Fillydelphia. Platinum was actually the one to have this metallic pegleg made for me.

Shotgun floating behind me, I ran towards the main part of town. Given its size, it only had six guards, so attackers could easily overwhelm them. I hoped I wouldn't get there too late.

The buildings here were very different from what I was used to. Even the larger streets were tight with a maze of alleyways connecting to one another. They weren’t paved with concrete or asphalt, just tiles.

The houses were made of brick and stone, and since the town was built on a hill, some of them had two entrances on completely separate levels. A large number of them had caved in on themselves, while even more looked like they weren’t too far from sharing that fate. Only a few looked solid enough to live in.

I avoided the main street, weaving through the darker alleys instead. I was lucky that the town hall was visible from nearly everywhere around here, or I would have gotten lost. When I finally arrived near it, I slowed down enough to sneak up on whoever had been causing this commotion.

From here, I could see four ponies clad in some kind of barding—at this distance, I couldn't tell what kind. They were taking cover behind a collapsed house in the alley opposite from me.

Given that they had their weapons trained on the town hall, I doubted they were good ponies. Occasionally, a shot or two would echo from the larger building. None of them seemed to hit any of the raiders, though.

With my eyesight though, I had to get closer to check; I wasn’t going to start shooting at somepony based on an assumption.

I stepped back into the alley parallel to the street and climbed into one of the buildings separating me from the attackers. The endeavour would have been easier with four legs, but that just meant I needed to train more.

The inside of the house was littered with broken furniture and crumbling concrete. The smell of mould permeated the air, but it wasn’t anything particularly bad.

I made my way to the other side of the building, carefully sticking my head out of the window.

Finally close enough to make out the smaller details, I noticed they were wearing haphazardly put together, mismatched suits of barding. Not quite as trashy as a stereotypical raider's, but it was obvious they weren't a high grade mercenary company.

I took a moment to think about my next step. They were clearly bad ponies, and I had to do something. Even with the cover fire from the town hall, I was still heavily outnumbered. On the other hoof, close quarters were my specialty, so if I played my cards right, I could probably do something about them.

A plan popped into my head. It was as reckless as one of Iron’s, but had decent odds of working out. The option to turn tail and pretend like I hadn’t seen anything also crossed my mind, but I pushed it aside.

I exited the building onto the main street. From the front entrance, I was out of the raiders’ sight. I entered the opposite building and found the window leading to the alleyway they were hiding in.

I took off the flat base of my prosthetic. Running was easier with a pointed tip. Then, I levitated out my only two grenades. Given that they had a unicorn, it was safer to throw two at once so he or she couldn’t levitate them back, at least not very easily.

Pulling the pins, I threw the grenades through the window. I wasn't aiming to kill, just to distract them long enough to buy me some time.

I ran out the front door. By the time I was out on the street, the grenades went off in near unison. The raiders had also left their cover, and I was sprinting at them full speed, shotgun floating beside me. I'd practised for this, and I was confident that I wouldn't let my metal leg slip on the pavement.

As expected, the explosion didn't directly hurt any of them, but it had distracted them as they ran away from it. This allowed the pony in town hall to land a shot by the time I reached them. One of the attackers collapsed.

A pink-coated raider closest to me turned around, aiming a rusty double-barrel shotgun at me. I, however, was too fast for him.

In the last metre of my sprint, I slammed my prosthetic into the ground, chipping one of the tiles. I pivoted and launched myself at the stallion. My rear legs connected with his head, knocking him to the ground before crunching his skull between pavement and my steel shoes.

I found myself next to another one of the raiders. Unfortunately for her, I’d aimed in her direction while in the air. The moment I landed, my magic pulled the trigger, mulching her face.

When the last of them saw this, she turned tail to flee. Normally, I wouldn't attack a fleeing pony, but I had no mercy left for raiders. I lunged at the mare, landing on her neck and impaling it with the metal rod. No point wasting ammo.

Nothing could keep me down, not even losing a leg! I didn’t need four of them; three and a decent prosthetic were good enough!

As I removed it, a female voice called out to me. "Oh, it's you!" I could tell it came from the town hall, but the pony in question was too far away for me to clearly see. "Quick, come in."

I cantered over to the building, and a black-maned unicorn mare opened the door, a rifle on her back. "You saved my flank there, missy," she said before quickly trotting back up the stairs. "Didn't know you were this much of a badass. No offence, but I kinda thought you were the cheapest guard dog Airdrop could find."

"He's not my boss, just a friend. Anyway, what’s the situation? Where are the other guards?"

She approached one of the windows. "Three of us died when the bandits got the drop on us, but not before we downed a few of them. Two went to the houses while I stayed behind as a sentry." It took me a few moments to realise that she was referring to the neighbourhood where most settlers lived. The buildings there had been preserved better than the rest of town.

Opening a window, she placed her rifle on the sill. "Glad I did, since I got to hold a large chunk of them back. I'm just a bit worried since I haven't heard from this side in a while. It suddenly fell much too quiet for my liking."

I briefly wondered why the raiders hadn’t just gone around the town hall, but pushed that thought aside. "Can you see anypony?"

"Four bandit corpses. Not as much as there should be. I can't see Sentry or Flipchip nowhere either."

I reloaded a single shell into my shotgun. "Can you cover me? I want to help."

"Sure thing, buddy. Cover fire's my game, and Longstroke’s the name. What’s yours?"

"Candy Cane."

"Fits you like a sock." She chuckled. "I don't know how many are left, so be careful, Candy."

I left the building the same way I'd come in, then started sneaking around the individual alleys. Now that the gunfire had died down, the settlement looked and sounded like a ghost town. No small noises, no one out on the streets, and a heavy atmosphere.

I took off my armoured shoes and placed a cloth over the base of my prosthetic. It wouldn’t make my hoofsteps perfectly quiet, but hopefully wouldn’t give away my position for everyone in town.

I made my way through the streets, careful to stay out of sight and to keep quiet. I took shortcuts through buildings and made sure to check every angle I could. Progress was slow, and my anxiety rose. If they were hiding in an alley, they would hear me approach. There wasn’t much I could do about it.

I missed my PipBuck so much. Maybe Uncle Concerto’s corpse still had one? I would need to ask Platinum to check out the stable’s cave with me at some point.

Suddenly, my ears perked as I heard a small noise coming from one of the alleys. It was probably just a pebble, but I couldn’t be careful enough. I holstered my shotgun and took a pistol into my mouth instead so as to avoid having my magic give my presence away.

If somepony was waiting there, they probably already knew I was nearby, but I wasn’t going to give them any sort of advantage. I briefly considered blindly firing my shotgun into the alley, but that had too many flaws to be a good idea. What if it was an ally? What if there was nothing at all and I would just give my position away?

I silently took a deep breath, then jumped out in front of the intersection. Unfortunately for me, I’d been right to be careful, as I spotted a raider aiming around the corner. He wore a battle saddle with two shotguns attached to it.

Unfortunately for him, my speed had thrown him off his aim as his first shot missed entirely. I fired back, hitting him square in the peytral. This threw off his second shot.It only hit the barding on my flank.

This bought me just enough time to float out my own riot shotgun and discharge it twice into his chest. The first spray of lead knocked him back, and the second shredded his exposed throat.

Behind him, a pony had been bandaging her wounds. Being a unicorn, she'd had time to aim a rifle at me and pull the trigger. I felt five bullets impact my peytral, one crack my visor, and one ping off my helmet before she lost control of the recoil. I finished her off with buckshot.

I sighed, feeling the sharp pain of several bruised and potentially cracked ribs. Trying to find a place to catch my breath while remaining out of sight, I reminded myself to thank Platinum for lending me the caps for the armour.

I finally sat down between two buildings I knew were inhabited. The only reassuring part of this whole situation was that this seemed like a small gang. Who else would hit such a tiny settlement? Admittedly, they still had a decent numbers advantage, but that was a prerequisite when attacking a town.

I stumbled into another larger street, one that was fully hidden from the town hall. Standing here made me anxious, as large, open spaces were generally a weakness for somepony with my fighting style. What was more, I wouldn’t get any cover fire from Longstroke.

As I turned around to head back into the alley I’d emerged from, my eyes got caught on something on the ground. A pony, lying in a pool of blood. Their barding resembled the black uniform that the town guard would wear. I couldn't tell for sure at this distance, though. The bandits certainly didn’t wear any kind of unified outfit, so it was possible this was a dead enemy.

If I remembered correctly, I could get closer to the pony without exposing myself. I turned around and walked around one of the houses.

As I arrived near the corpse, I could clearly make out that she had been a town guard. However, her wounds troubled me. She looked like she'd fallen a long, long distance. I didn't see any gunshot wounds, but I couldn't exclude them either.

Looking around, I noticed a large hole in the roof of the houses nearby. Tiles lay scattered around the ground. Floating one over to me, I noted that it had recently been broken.

As I was investigating these tiles, a gunshot echoed from the town hall, followed by another. A response came from the main road. Then, silence.

I ran to see whoever was shooting at Longstroke. I was now out on the secondary road, looking down the main one. I dared take a few cautious steps onto the street.

Suddenly, a wind swept me into the air, making me drop my shotgun. No, not a wind, a creature, and it was carrying me higher and higher. Turning my head, I could see large wings flapping to my side, and a pair of arms wrapped around my midsection, its talons sharp enough to slightly dig into my barding.

I tried and failed to wring myself free. "Fine, you wanna play dirty? Let's play dirty."

I channelled my best spell, aiming for her wing. When I released it a second later, the wing went limp. She started letting loose, and I had just a split second to react. I contorted my body, turning to face her and grasping around her neck with my foreleg and pulling myself close.

She tried to bite me with her beak, but I dodged just in time, pressing my neck against hers. As she tried to shake me loose, I wrapped my hind legs around her midsection.

It was as tight as a lover's embrace, and could have been mistaken for one if it hadn't been for the fact that we were trying to kill each other.

In the few seconds we were falling, I attempted to get her on the bottom. However, with the help of her larger frame, and more importantly her other wing, she effortlessly remained on top.

The wind was knocked out of my lungs as I slammed into a roof, feeling shingles break and dig into my back as we broke through and fell onto the floor below.

Desperately gasping for air, I noticed her getting back up. In our current respective states, I had a few moments to take a look at her. I was surprised to find not a crazed, cut-up and bloodied raider, but a young griffiness.

She was slightly dirty, but it was barely visible on her dark grey fur. The purple of her eyes contrasted with the green of the fur around them, overall drawing attention away from the thin scars on her face. She was definitely too pretty for a raider.

Despite the fact that I'd cushioned most of the short fall, she still looked quite dazed, blood running down her forehead. She'd definitely hit her head against the roof just now. I briefly considered grabbing her revolver from its holster, but decided against it as that might help her grab it.

I felt her claws dig into my left foreleg as she pinned all three of my limbs down, sitting on my lower abdomen. She raised her other hand to swipe at my neck, but the movement was sluggish enough that I managed to dodge it by throwing my head at her torso.

She jumped back just in time to avoid my sharp horn, but that gave me enough leeway to turn the situation around.

With a quick shove, I was pinning her down instead, my peg leg angled to press down on her left arm and throat.

My hind hooves were pressing down on her joints, preventing her from moving back legs. I felt my stomach's fur brush against hers as I stood just a couple of centimetres above her.

"Fuck," she wheezed. "You're… pretty good. Especially for a bonehead cripple."

Given the situation, I couldn't quite appreciate the compliment. "Spare me the horseshit, raider."

She laughed, or at least attempted to. "Raider? Please, we were bandits."

"What's the fucking difference?"

"We don't… kill for fun… at the very least…" She gasped for air, and I released my pressure just the slightest amount. "In general… we have some principles…"

I wanted to hit her, but had no way to do so without loosening my grip or putting myself in beak range. "Principles? So you're somehow good people because you don't torture innocents to death?"

"Hah, fuck no." She let out a short, raspy laugh. "I'm rotten and I know it."

"Then why the fuck are you doing this if you know it’s fucked up?" I screamed, unable to contain my anger any longer. "I’ve seen the guards’ bodies! Your ponies killed them!"

Her face turned to a bitter smirk. "Spare me the lecture and kill me already, will you?"

"Answer. Me. First." I pressed the rod into her throat for emphasis, but lost my composure when I tried to continue. Barely holding in my tears, I asked in a weak voice, "Why do you do this if you know it’s wrong? I don’t understand…"

It was so easy to deem raiders as sub-equine and just kill them on sight. So very easy. So why did I suddenly have such a hard time finishing her off? Just because she understood what she did was wrong? I felt a tear roll down my right cheek before landing on the griffin’s scarred chest.

A scowl on her beak, she replied. "Because it's… all I know… okay? All I’ve ever… fucking known." Her eyes were starting to roll back, so I let her catch her breath. "As far… as I… can think… violence was… the one… solution that I… knew."

"And you’ve never once tried to change? There’s gotta be some good ponies you can guard. Like trading caravans." I had to steel my voice, as the griffin slightly reminded me of Iron. Unlike the latter, though, she seemed to regret her actions, but didn’t have the excuse of being a young filly.

"Hah… as if. Who would give a killer… a second chance? I’ve had to kill… ever since I was a chick… and you mean to tell me… there’s somepony out there… who’d let me work as their caravan guard?" Her previous gruff attitude was gone. Despite her best efforts to seem rough and stoic, I could see tears welling up as well.

I wanted to tell her that I would help her find work, but how could I trust her? She’d just look for opportunities to kill me or flee.

But if I refused to help her… I would just be perpetuating the cycle, wouldn’t I? Yes, I could end her cycle on the spot, but that didn’t feel right. My expression must have worried her, as she went back to looking dejected.

I flashed a small smile at her, as big as I could manage. "Well… If you’re willing to change… I don’t have any work I could hire you for, but I want to help you find something." Someone had to take the leap of faith.

It took her a moment to process what I’d said. "You… would?" She sounded shocked and hopeful, quickly correcting her tone. She was clearly trying to seem stoic but failed, her voice betraying her inner turmoil. "Why? How do I know it's not some kind of trap?"

I felt my eyebrow raise in annoyance. Really? "Because you're at my mercy anyway. I'm the one taking the risks, not you."

Now that she was no longer paying full attention, I levitated out her revolver and kept it out of her reach. "I've killed one of your friends as she was trying to flee. I'm willing to give you a second chance, but I also have no problem ending your life here and now if it means making the wasteland a better place."

She frowned when she heard the news about her friend, and I felt her gulp under my prosthetic. "How many did you kill?" she asked in an uncharacteristically meek voice.

"Five. Mostly caught them by surprise. One of the town guards killed a sixth."

"That’s… all of them." She looked away for a while, refusing to meet my gaze. Eventually, though, she muttered, "Fine… I'm in."

After checking if the gun was loaded, I stood up, keeping it aimed at her. She didn’t seem to be lying, but I was not about to trust her that easily. Besides, I was now confused about something. "Why are you so quick to forgive someone who just admitted to killing your friends?"

She gave me a weak, half-sarcastic smile. "Frankly? They weren’t really my friends. Just a group I happened to stumble into. Now that they’re gone, I don’t belong anywhere anymore."

She didn't have any malice in her eyes as she said it, but her eyes betrayed her sadness. I channelled my anaesthetic spell again, though I didn't knock her out entirely. I only aimed at her front right paw, so as to give myself an advantage if she wanted to try anything.

Not only would a general anaesthesia take too much energy out of my poor, underdeveloped horn, it could also potentially endanger her life, given the state of her body.

"That should be good enough. Sorry, but I can’t fully trust you yet, as much as I want to." I attempted smiling at her again, but only getting marginally better results. "I'm Candy Cane, by the way."

"Grace, and I understand."

After our introduction, I asked Grace if she knew what happened to the last guard. Turns out, he’d also been dropped by her, but had landed on one of the roofs instead of the street.

We headed back to the town hall, where I talked to Longstroke while Grace waited outside.

Obviously, I wouldn’t tell Longstroke that I’d spared one of the bandits. "I think that’s all of them. I’m sorry I couldn’t help sooner, some of the guards might have survived if I’d stayed closer to the town."

"Nothing you could have predicted, really, and it’s not like it’s your job in the first place. The fact that you did help saved my life at the very least." She flashed a small smile at me.

I was about to protest, but she cut me off. "If I’m being honest, this whole situation might be for the best. I'm pretty sure none of the settlers got hurt, at least from what I was able to see. The other guards dying was unfortunate, but this might actually spur the inhabitants to move somewhere safer."

"‘Unfortunate’? You make it sound like an inconvenience more than anything else." Why had the two souls I’d met tonight so little care for the ponies around them?

"Filly, in my line o’ work, you learn pretty quickly to not get attached to your co-workers. They die, get replaced, and you move on. It sucks but that’s just how things are."

I really hoped I wouldn’t turn out like that someday, but didn’t press on. "So, what are you gonna do now?"

"Become mayor," she replied with a straight face. "I’ve been telling them for almost a year now that this place is too easy to attack. I even know a good place we could relocate to, less than twenty kilometres from here."

She then shook her head. "But no, they just had to insist that their guardsponies were good enough to handle any of the raider groups that came by. And for the longest time, we were. We just weren’t prepared for anything bigger."

"So what? You just want to… relocate an entire town?" I said in confusion. That was probably why the settlers had been reluctant to go along with her plan.

Longstroke nodded. "Basically. It’s not going to be easy, but the sooner we get it over with, the better. Especially once word gets out we lost most of our fighters."

"Do… you think we could help?" I asked.

"That would be greatly appreciated. I assume you mean yourself and Airdrop?"

I smiled sheepishly. "Yes and no… You see there’s someone else, someone who… let’s say she has some wrongs to right…"

Platinum and I were sitting in the living room of the house I’d made my temporary home. Grace was asleep in one of the rooms

As much as I wanted to give her a second chance, I was still scared of waking up to her slitting my throat with those talons of hers.

As a result, I had barricaded myself in my room and slept with one eye open. Needless to say, the rest of the day passed by fairly slowly as I waited for Platinum to return. Grace was surprisingly talkative, but our topics of conversation hadn’t been particularly deep, though I’d learned about bits and pieces of her life.

Now that it was evening again, Platinum had agreed to take watch while I slept. I didn’t want to go to bed just yet, preferring to catch up with my friend instead.

Not much interesting had happened on his trip. There was one amusing exchange between a trader and somepony else, but otherwise it had been very uneventful.

Then, I’d explained to him what happened yesterday and today. He hadn’t liked that I’d spared Grace, but understood my reasoning.

I told him about Longstroke, who had stepped up as the new mayor, and how she had a plan to move the town to a nearby highway bridge. This new location would be a lot easier to defend, hopefully.

Grace and I had volunteered to help carry some of the belongings, and Platinum agreed as well. The former would do so in secret, as the settlers wouldn’t take too kindly to her presence.

Overall, we decided to stay here a few more weeks to make sure they managed to build some houses there. The plan was to make a few of them out of sheet metal so that the ponies could have some temporary homes.

This far north, such flimsy sheet metal wasn’t the greatest to keep warm, but since it was just a temporary measure, it would be fine. Especially since they would be all sleeping in the same room, which would help keep them warm.

"I am sorry to bring this back up, but… are you sure about taking in that griffin? She is not exactly… you know."

"No, I’m not. She seems to be nice now that she’s no longer trying to kill me, and the few conversations I’ve had with her went well. That said, I have a hard time trusting her." Actually, I had to actively remind myself not to trust her.

"Then we should just get rid of her. I am not exactly fond of travelling or working with a bandit."

"Ex-bandit, if she’s to be believed," I corrected. "I’m willing to take the risk and give her the benefit of the doubt. Doesn’t mean I plan to let down my guard around her, but It’s gotta start somewhere."

"Why?" he deadpanned.

"I’ve seen the look in her eyes, and her story reminds me of Iron. Except unlike her, Grace seems to actually show remorse."

I paused for a moment. "Of course, if you’d rather not, we can always split up until I find something for her to do. I still owe you caps, though, so I would obviously pay you back eventually."

I shrugged. "Now that I’ve recovered, I can go without your help for a while. I can look for Iron alone for a couple of months, though it would still be appreciated."

He shook his head. "I would feel bad leaving you alone with her. I will remain by your side."

"Are you sure about that? It could potentially take months for us to find anything for her to do."

"I will manage." He sighed. "As much as I do not agree with your current endeavour, I do find it admirable how you strive to do the right thing. You truly are a good pony."

I smiled at the praise, but that quickly turned to a frown. "That… reminds me of something that happened yesterday. Can I… tell you about it? It’s kinda… heavy."

"Of course you can, I am—" He cut himself off as he met my gaze. Something about my expression must have conveyed how I was feeling, as he dropped his usual façade. "Sure ya can, I’m here fer you."

"Thanks… I just really need to get this off my chest." I took a deep breath in anticipation of what I was about to admit. "I… thought about killing myself. I was sitting in my room, unable to sleep, and all I could think about was how to blow my head off."

Platinum was taken aback, eyes wide. He opened his mouth, only to close it again.

I felt tears welling up, and I simply let them flow down my cheeks. "I still feel guilty for failing to save Iron. I’ve been trying so hard to f-fix it, but sometimes I just can’t stop myself from thinking about it and blaming myself."

I let out a few more sobs while he walked over to me and wrapped me in his wing. He didn’t say anything, quietly letting me cry on his shoulder. This wasn’t the first time he’d comforted me, so we both knew there wasn’t anything he could say.

Leaning into him, I regained enough composure to continue. "T-then there’s my leg. I… I’ve been ignoring the issue th-this entire time, and I think it’s only really starting to hit me. I’m used to the prosthetic now and it’s getting harder and harder to pretend like that loss didn’t affect me.

"At first it was easy to pretend like it wasn’t an issue, and to distract myself with some training. But since I got into my first real fight after the incident, it made me realise… This will never be good enough to replace my leg, no matter how much I try to make up for it."

Feeling his warmth was enough to calm me down a little. Even though he was smaller than me, his wings allowed him to effortlessly wrap me in a close embrace. With his left hoof, he gently stroked my mane.

"I was surprised to see you bounce back so quickly, not gonna lie. Felt like ya didn’t care none that y’all lost your leg. I couldn’t tell if you were just pretendin’ or simply didn’t care. In a way… it’s kinda reassurin’ to know you feel like that now."

"It’s… reassuring to know I feel bad?"

"Fuck, sorry, bad wordin’. I meant that I was worried about your sanity. It’s still worryin’ that you wanted to actually kill yourself, but the fact that you’re actually telling me is very reassurin’. So thanks for openin’ up a bit more."

I put my head on his shoulder and whispered, "It’s me who should be thanking you… You’ve been helping me get back on my legs, but you’ve also been here for me whenever I felt down; I don’t know what I could do to ever repay that."

Platinum ruffled my mane. "Don’tcha worry none about that, I’m doin’ it because I wanna see a bright, young mare be happy, is all."

I sighed. "You’re a great pony as well, you know that, right?"

"I try to be."

The evening didn’t last much longer. All the emotion had drained me even further, and before long I disappeared into my room for the night. Platinum joined me, mostly to keep watch in case I was wrong about Grace. I didn’t mind his presence.

Grace and I were carrying a barrel of wine each up to Skybridge, the newly founded settlement. Eventually, she attempted to break our silence. "You know, I'm really glad I didn't die back there."

"Well, I'm glad you took up my offer," I replied.

"Yeah…" She averted her gaze.

"Is there a reason in particular you don't want to die? Besides the obvious." As far as I knew, she didn't really have anyone. Her gang had been her only social circle, and she hadn't been particularly close to any of them.

"Not really. Frankly, I meant it when I told you to kill me. You kinda get used to the idea that you could die at any moment." She seemed to hesitate for a moment, before forcing a smile. "It's just that, uh, in hindsight, it would have been really shitty to die horny."

I stopped dead in my tracks, staring at her in disbelief. "Did… I need to know that?" Despite my best efforts, a lot of blood was rushing to my face.

Wait, hadn’t I felt a similar way? No, it was definitely just the adrenaline.

She quickly looked away and shrugged. "Well, I wanted you to know it," she half-muttered.

We continued on our way, our silence now very awkward. What was that all about? She wasn’t the smartest, but usually didn’t blurt out things like that.

Over the past two weeks, we’d gotten to know each other a lot better. She’d mostly worked in secret, and I’d usually helped her. Eventually, some of the settlers had spotted her. As they didn’t recognise her, they grew quite comfortable around the griffin.

When it was revealed that she had helped in the attack, the settlers needed a few days to really wrap their heads around the situation. However, most of them reluctantly accepted to have her around, due to how helpful she was being. The few ponies that still grumbled every time they spotted her were the villagers who’d been close to the guards.

"Sorry, I’m used to those kinds of pick-up lines actually working." The sound of her voice drew me out of my thoughts.

"It’s… fine. It was just kind of out of nowhere and a bit weird, especially since I don’t swing that way."

"Sorry. I shouldn’t have said it, I’m just not used to being around ponies like you. You know, the not-crude kind." She tried making eye contact, but quickly broke it.

"I understand."

After another awkward silence, she tried starting up a conversation again. "Since I’ve already told you quite a bit about myself, would you mind telling me about your own life?"

"Sure? There isn’t really much to tell."

"Well, I’m curious. Who’s Iron? I overheard you and your buck talking about it last week."

"He’s not my buck," I corrected. "And why were you even hitting on me if you thought I was taken?"

"Well, at first I thought you weren’t taken. But then you said you didn’t swing that way, so I assumed you and him were a pair."

I felt my brow furrow. "What kind of leap of logic is that?" Why was she being weird today? Was it because of the upcoming party?

She shrugged. "I dunno either. I’m kinda retarded, as you’re aware. Anyway, sorry about the weird assumption, but you didn’t answer my question."

I sighed. I didn’t really want to talk about it, but I knew better than to close myself off entirely. Plus, anything beat another awkward silence. "She was my little cousin. About five years younger than me."

"What happened to her? I thought you were looking for her, but you make it sound like she’s dead."

I realised what I’d done and winced. "She was taken by bad ponies, and I’ve been looking for her for the past six months to no avail."

"Well, I’d love to help with that." She looked at me, and the genuine smile on her face surprised me.

"Why the sudden offer? Didn’t you want some job that could utilise your skills?"

"I can’t say I enjoy helping these ponies out of the goodness of my heart—because we both know my heart is charred black. I just really wanna help you get things done. Besides, I’m sure there are ways I can be useful to you."

"Well, I gladly accept your help if you put it like that."

"What was she like? If you don’t mind me asking," said Grace after a short silence.

"She was… a hoofful, but I loved her dearly. She was the type of nerdy pony you’d find in some novels." Remembering that Grace didn’t know how to read, I quickly abandoned that analogy. "Uh, she was very booksmart but lacked any sort of street wisdom."

Talking about Iron like that, I felt tears welling up. It was bittersweet, remembering the good times I had had with her. "The moment she realised she didn’t know something, she would immediately look for a book on the subject."

I continued recounting all the ways in which I remembered Iron. From the weird way she ate her food, to how good she was with a rifle. Of course, I mentioned how I was worried for her moral compass but how part of me admired her pragmatic approach. I missed her so fucking much, and yet…

"You okay, Candy?"

"I’m just… thinking. Telling you about her brought up so many feelings and made me realise that I’ve basically given up hope already… I think it’s time I accept she’s gone."

"It kind of just hit me how much I’ve been using the search for her as an excuse to avoid looking at my own problems. I put off dealing with this." I shook my prosthetic leg. "And just kept pretending like I could fix everything."

I sighed. "Well, I can’t. My leg is lost, and I think it’s about time I accept that Iron is gone as well. Besides, I’ve been so focused on my search for her… It took up so much time that I could have spent helping others."

Grace was quiet for a moment. "So… you don’t want my help after all?"

"I do, just not to look for Iron. How about we help towns like these; hunt raiders and bandits and live off the loot?"

"Hell yeah, that’s something I’m good at!" At that moment, she reminded me of Iron again.

We eventually made it back to the village. The new location was hard to reach, but that was for the best. The settlers had built half a dozen flimsy shacks on top of the highway bridge. This was enough to last them for now, and tonight we would be celebrating.

Longstroke, who’d washed her mane for once, enthusiastically greeted us when we arrived at the gate.

Tonight was going to be fun.

Footnote: Level up!

New Perk: Violent Vigilante — You are a force of justice, and don’t take kindly to corruption and needless violence—all of the violence you dish out is very much deserved! You deal increased damage to gangs, bandits, and raiders.

Chapter 19 — Slaves

Slaves

I was walking through the main corridor on the first storey of Stable-Tec’s research and development division, Cherry following several metres behind me. The building brought back unpleasant memories, and my left ear seemed unwilling to stop ringing ever since I entered this place.

This time, I was much more prepared. Not only did I now understand the robots’ weak points, but I had my enchanted, explosive crystal bullets. While the explosive shells had done the job, they were far from ideal. After all, there was a reason that, normally, only high calibre rounds ended up with such a load. A shotgun shell just didn’t impart enough energy on its projectile to truly take advantage of the explosion. That, and the type of explosive in shells used had to be a different, weaker kind.

I shook myself out of my gun-related reverie as I spotted a nearby hostile bar move. I motioned Cherry to wait where he was. I had no way of telling if the enemy was on this floor or the one above, but I knew to be careful. Steps echoed down the hall, but I didn’t know how close they were. Damn my maimed ear. My caution proved justified as a protectapony walked around the corner. I destroyed it with a single 12 gauge slug, not wasting any of my precious specialty ammunition.

Those were reserved for sentry bots, which could cause serious damage and easily put us in extreme danger. Luckily, I had a strategy to deal with them, a fairly simple one at that. I would teleport behind them and shoot one or two explosive rounds into their power source. Once they would collapse, I would unplug their weaponry in order to make sure they wouldn’t be a threat again. Plus, it made the job of Star Seeds’ underlings easier when they came with their workers to dismantle the robot for spare parts.

For simpler robots like this, pulling out the spark battery would be enough, along with the magical fusion cells. The latter I mostly kept for myself, ordering Cherry to put them in his saddlebags. Studying this spell seemed like a good idea, at least while I had as much free time as I currently did.

It was odd to have any sort of time off, as I was technically a slave. However, Star Seeds just didn’t need anything more done ever since we had arrived in New Detrot. He spent most of his time alone in his quarters, studying various documents that the two of us had extracted from three different research facilities. There was a fourth that he wanted to check out, but since it was nearby, it could wait for now. Since it didn’t specialise in plant-related spells, only general arcano-mechanic research, it really wasn’t a priority.

All I needed to do was remain nearby on standby. He had plans for buildings, but for that he needed materials and machines. Those couldn’t easily be shipped all the way over to New Detrot from Fillydelphia.

Why he chose this place—out of any other—was something I occasionally wondered about, but ultimately I didn’t want to bother discussing anything with the stallion. He was just too much of a headache.

“Are you alright?” asked Cherry, picking up a magical fusion cell from my telekinesis. I realised I’d kept it in place for the better part of half a minute.

“Got a bit lost in thought, sorry,” I said before making my way down the corridor again.

Him and I had gotten… professionally close. We weren’t friends or anything, but we had a certain trust in each other. He trusted me to keep him safe through work and not treat him like a slave, while I trusted him to do what I told him and not stab me in the back in some vain attempt to flee. He understood that his current life was much better than anything he could otherwise ask for, and that trying to attack me would likely just end with him dying.

In spite of that, I didn’t trust him with his own weapon. The only reason I let him carry my loaded guns was because he was an earth pony, and it would be difficult for him to use the heavy guns with only his hooves, and without going prone. Hopefully, that should give me enough notice in the event that he would attack me.

In theory, I understood that he wouldn’t kill me, even if he could; not everyone was as open to killing for their own benefit as I was. However, I knew exactly what I would do if I were in his shoes, and it didn’t reassure me in the slightest.

I kind of regretted not being closer to him, but any attempt at a conversation would just end up in awkward smalltalk. At the end of the day, he was my sla— subordinate, and I was his superior; it made sense we couldn’t—

Suddenly, as I walked past a closed door, the name engraved on it caught my attention. Arcane Spark. It had been years since I’d last heard of her, and the name was itself enough to spark my curiosity.

I pushed the door to her office slightly open, fairly certain that there wouldn’t be any danger in there. For this building, I’d found my EFS to be reliable, as every single turret and robot showed up on it.

Of course, I still wouldn't take any unnecessary risks. Motioning Cherry to stand behind cover, I quickly wove the intricate pattern of a short teleport and swung the door wide open, ready for anything that might pop up. Even as nothing showed, I didn’t release the energy, holding onto it just in case.

“What in the starless hells…” I murmured as I entered the room, still on high alert. After a dozen seconds or so, I carefully cancelled the spell, seeing as the room remained empty.

Arcane’s office wasn’t what I’d expected. Her desk was an absolute mess under the thick layer of dust. Papers were strewn around haphazardly, each filled in with various amounts of mathematical notation, the vast majority of which I didn’t recognise. Amongst them stood a Stable-Tec terminal. On the shelves behind it, stacks of notes lay among disorganised books, cups and many different writing utensils.

I didn’t know what I would have expected to see here, but it certainly wasn’t this. In this horrible mess, I’d never be able to find anything interesting at all. Well, sifting through the notes and papers would be easy; they contained nothing I could understand anyway. There was just so damn much of the stuff that looking through individual notes would be enough work to dissuade my curiosity.

I was ahead of schedule, but this seemed like an awful lot of work that I just didn’t feel like doing, especially not right now, not even to sate my mind’s appetite for interesting knowledge.

Just as I was ready to leave the room, it struck me that the terminal on her desk was still active. Seeing the state of her office, I doubted her home folder was organised in any decent way either, but I decided to give it a shot regardless.

Unsurprisingly, the terminal was locked, so I tried to connect my PipBuck and run the script Lockpick had thrown together for me; it was a simple program and required lots of user input, but it would allow me to crack the terminal’s password fairly quickly.

Or so I thought. Five minutes later, I’d almost run out of attempts and had to back out of the terminal in order to avoid locking myself out of it.

For some reason, the hints it had been giving me hadn’t worked out; they were misleading, wrong even. The best I had managed was two out of twelve characters matching—and even then, it occasionally claimed the password was longer or shorter than that. I’d used the script several times as practice, and this was the first time it had bugged out in such a spectacular manner.

As I aggressively pressed the power button with my hoof—this piece of junk didn’t deserve the gentle touch of my telekinesis—I hit the eject key, and a holodisk came out of the device. I raised an eyebrow and picked it up in my magic.

I couldn’t help my curiosity as I inserted into the side of my PipBuck, before extending the ear piece from the device and into my ear. I pressed play, then headed for the room’s exit, Cherry in tow.

“Good morning, Director Apple Bloom,” a mare that I recognised as Arcane Spark spoke up.

“Good morning. You wanted to speak to me?” replied a mare in a heavily accented voice that seemed to clash with her position in the company.

Walking down the corridor, I motioned for Cherry to follow me from further away.

“Yeah. Just before we start, I need to let you know that I will be recording this conversation, just in case they ever delete my memories.”

Who did what? Was that a thing before the bombs fell?

There was a bit of a silence before the director spoke up again, her voice hesitant. “I… see. Ah understand, but… and don’t take this personally, but are you sleeping enough?”

“Hardly.”

There was another break in the recording before Apple Bloom said, “Ah think it would be more than alright for you to… take a bit of a few days off, given what you’ve recently been through.”

“I’d rather not.”

I motioned Cherry to stop as I turned a corner, using SATS to shoot a slug into a ceiling-mounted turret.

Apple Bloom’s tone grew even more concerned. “Are you sure?”

I waved around the corner, and Cherry trotted up to me.

There was another small silence, which Arcane broke. “Director… last week I came home to find my wife’s brains plastered on our living room wall,” she said, placing slow and deliberate emphasis onto each word.

Wife? How long after those memory orbs had this recording been made?

Arcane continued, “Whenever I close my eyes, I see that scene again. Whenever I take any sort of break, I start thinking about it again. I start thinking about what I did wrong. I start thinking about how I should have been there for her more. I start thinking about how I shouldn’t have let them delete any of her memories. I start thinking about how I shouldn’t have taken part in that stupid program. I start thinking about how her suicide was my fault. So please.” She paused for a second. “Let me deal with my personal life as I see fit, Director.”

I finished climbing a set of stairs, getting to the second storey. At the far end of this floor’s central corridor, I spotted another turret, with enough distance separating us to make me reconsider using the shotgun. It was only forty metres away, but that was already starting to be difficult to hit with a 12 gauge slug.

I could get closer to it, or I could take a few shots. It wasn’t like the gun lost all its power and accuracy over such a distance, after all. However, both of those might trigger a response from the turret, and if I could avoid getting shot at, I would. I asked Cherry for my rifle chambered in .308 and took aim.

Right before I pulled the trigger, Apple Bloom broke the awkward silence. “Alright. What did you want to talk about? You said it’s important.”

“Finally,” Arcane mumbled to herself. Then, speaking up, she continued, “I’ve discovered a major security vulnerability in our systems. I’ve been able to prove that the hash function used by the current version of Stable-Tec OS is flawed in that it doesn’t fulfil the pre-image resistance property, allowing for linear-time attacks. Our only silver lining is that, by default, offline attacks are intractable.”

“Miss Spark…” Apple Bloom said in a flat tone. “It’s too early in the morning to throw this much technical jargon at me all at once. Could you repeat that a bit slower?”

Arcane sighed. “Most passwords can be cracked within a hundred attempts, faster if the attacker is clever or has a dictionary. Essentially, it’s possible to tell how many letters in common a random guess has with a given password.”

“Oh, that is bad,” said Applebloom. “Good thing that password hashes are inaccessible to anything but the system itself, or we’d have an even bigger problem.”

“Yes, what’s worse is that, in theory, it’s possible to gain that information without even looking at the hash directly.”

The two continued on to talk like that, getting more and more technical as the conversation went on and Apple Bloom came to understand the extent of the risks. Eventually, it was revealed that Arcane had already started working on a fix, and it wouldn’t take her more than a week to finish.

“Proving that this next version doesn’t have any flaws is going to be the hard part,” said Arcane. “It’s always a pain to prove anything useful at all about hash functions.”

Apple Bloom made a sound in agreement. “But there’s also the issue of getting the patch out in the first place. Updating every single critical system is going to be difficult, and if we make it sound too urgent, some malicious ponies—or worse—might catch on and find a way to exploit it. There’s just too much risk involved.” She sighed. “Whatever, I’ll figure something out, you do your job, and I’ll do mine.”

“I will. Our conversation actually gave me ideas for things to check for, and I’m glad I recorded it. Have a good day, Director.”

The recording ended there. It seemed like the patch had been finished, but it clearly hadn’t been deployed to many terminals, just like Apple Bloom had predicted. I wondered how close to the end of the war that conversation had happened. Clearly, Arcane’s terminal had been fixed, but most weren’t. Maybe at some point they decided it just wasn’t worth it?

About an hour later, I was done with the building, having cleared the entirety of its defences. After I finished, I decided to pay Arcane’s apartment a visit. Her terminal proved itself just as difficult to crack, so I went to work on her safe instead. It took a while, but I eventually managed to get the lock open, finding some bits, jewellery, and memory orbs inside.

I didn’t bother knocking before barging into Star’s office. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth, but he spoke before I could, “So, Sonata, what was so important you couldn’t just tell me telepathically?”

“Another three slaves died just last week.” I stared daggers at him.

He nodded. “Yes, it’s unfortunate. The weather hasn’t been treating us well.”

“Don’t act like you’ve had nothing to do with it,” I shot back. “You’re the one sending them to Detrot for spare parts in this weather. Can’t your plans wait a month or two?”

He faked an indignant huff. “I am simply doing what needs to be done. And no, they can’t. The sooner I get those greenhouses set up, the sooner we can start producing food. Every day we wait is another day ponies starve in the wasteland.”

I groaned. It was always the same with him, and he completely refused to change anything. Every day, he would send out most of the overseers with their slaves to get materials in the Detrot ruins. Unfortunately, none of the train tracks or metro lines were in good enough condition to use, so they ended up pulling carts themselves. Meanwhile, Star Seeds stayed holed up in his warm office, studying old books. Of course, none of the masters ever suffered from the cold, either.

Also, a few groups would stay behind and work on the buildings he needed. There were plans for proper housing, water towers and of course greenhouses.

“You still haven’t told me why you decided to build the wasteland’s future ‘primary food source’ in the Frozen North. Aren’t there any better places? Ones that aren’t, you know, freezing?”

“I haven’t? That’s a shame. You should have asked sooner,” he practically purred.

I stared him dead in the eye. “I have. Now tell me.” I didn’t have any leverage, and he was in no way obligated to comply, but I was still done putting up with it. “I know there has to be a reason. You’re no fool, even though you act like one.”

He smirked and took a sip from his tea. “You flatter me, but I suppose I can tell you. You’re right that the climate up here is far from ideal for agriculture.” He smirked at me. “However, there are other boons to this region. For one, it is one of the least inhabited places in Equestria. There just aren’t many scavengers, bandits, or raiders to come and mess with a new settlement.”

“Well, you’re right about that, but it’s hardly the only relatively deserted place in the wasteland.” Admittedly, all other similar places also had something that made them inconvenient, one way or another. Radiation, cold, flora, fauna, among many other things.

“Well, there’s more. He floated a map that he had framed and hung on the wall, pointing at the northeast corner. “Here is the old Hoofer dam. It’s currently out of commission, but can easily provide a lot of power if we fix it.”

He tapped a location straight to the west of here. “This is the quarry of Marey. It is a pre-war gem mine that’s barely been touched since. If we get that up and running, we will be able to produce all the heating and light talismans we need. I’m looking into ways of weaving more complex spells into them, like growth acceleration, light, and heat.”

I was starting to see his point. “Not to mention,” I said, “Old Detrot is very much a treasure trove when it comes to old world technology and materials.” It wasn’t anything close to the likes of Hoofington, but it still had much to give.

His smirk grew into a wide grin as he nodded. “Exactly. I’ve searched for years, and this is by far the best option, despite its many flaws.”

“Still… Isn’t there anything you could do that would make them die less? Any sort of compromise at all?”

His smile turned into a slight frown, and he let out a barely audible sigh. “Trust me, if I knew how to utilise my resources better, I would be doing it.”

I couldn’t help but wince at him referring to ponies as ‘resources’. “What about repairing the rails and getting a train on them? It should be doable.”

“Oh, it’s on the list, but we need ways to produce food first. Repairing it immediately would take way too much ponyhours.”

“What about the small airship in the crater? From a distance it looks in decently good shape.” Iron had seen it when she’d gone to clear one of the buildings of any defences.

Star Seeds shook his head. “I think you know why. Sending ponies to get it out would kill more than it would save. Who knows if it’s even salvageable? The airship itself is also highly irradiated, though on such a small scale, I’m pretty sure I could remedy that problem with a bit of magic, at least to render it usable.”

I hesitated for a moment, unsure whether or not it was worth going down this path. My apprehension must have been clear on my face, because Star Seeds gave me an expectant look. That seemed to be enough to get me talking. “Iron could do it. Well, actually fixing it might be too difficult, but she could probably gauge whether it’s fixable or not. I would do it, but she understands arcano-mechanical engineering much better than I do.”

He raised an eyebrow and looked at me like I was insane. “You think I would give up one of my best assets to try and fix an airship?” He set down his cup, leaning forward. “You know I had to call in favours to get her out of Crow’s stock, right? You may not be getting paid, but I still paid quite a bit to obtain your services.”

“I’m not talking about giving anything up. You see, this body has mutated, and radiation barely affects us anymore; in fact, it’s slightly beneficial.”

That only caused him to raise his other eyebrow. “I don’t know if I believe that. You know that if you kill yourself, your friends are going back into slavery, right?”

“You don’t need to remind me. I know our body, and I know we’ll be alright. Just give her the order, and she’ll do it and be just fine.”

He gave a short shrug. “That would actually solve a big problem for me. I just think she will be pretty mad that you convinced me to give her more orders, especially some as dangerous as those.”

I just shook my head, feeling a small smile creep up on my muzzle. “Nope, I have a way to hide certain memories from her.” I could even forcefully take over, but I hadn’t really tried that yet; no real opportunity. I didn’t dare tell him the pony who’d taught me those tricks. The tall, green alicorn had told me to keep it a secret, after all.

Star Seeds nodded. “I see. I shall keep that in mind.”

I looked over Iron’s letter one more time. I couldn’t help but worry about her. The risks she had to take for this prick were immense. Getting irradiated when fixing an airship? What the fuck?

Not only had she entirely lost her appetite, but bleeding from down there? Apparently, her body was resistant to radiation now, so she dodged the majority of symptoms acute rad poisoning brought. Still, it clearly still affected her in some ways, and I hoped she would be alright.

I shuddered at the thought of being in her shoes. I’d heard that radiation was a pretty big issue in Fillydelphia, but I had to hope it was mild enough to not worry about it.

Thankfully, though, by the time she’d written the letter, her job was already done. She had explained the technical details of the airship to me, but they went over my head entirely. All I understood was that the craft was rather small, and that she knew which talismans needed replacing and repairing, and which worked fine.

Despite the horrors of radiation poisoning, the thing that she complained about the most was the fact that none of her previous drinking buddies were in New Detrot anymore. Especially after Star Seeds’ takeover, a lot of the inhabitants and regulars had left the town.

I folded the letter and put it in my drawer. By now, the other fillies in my room were all gone, most likely playing in the internal courtyard, shielded from the rest of this abhorrent settlement.

Everypony else who was taken to Fillydelphia ended up becoming a slave. Everypony except foals, who were secretly taken to this building and given regular school lessons. Red Eye himself taught us, and only some of his most trusted underlings were allowed to guard the building. Apart from me, there were three foals.

At first I’d tried to talk to them, but I was by far the oldest. Not only that, but they came from a completely different world than I did, and had a tendency to stare at my few scars.

So, I’d started spending time alone, reading shitty novels. Everypony knew to leave me be. With today being entirely off, nopony would bother me here in the common bedroom. Or rather, nopony would come looking for me.

I headed out of my room and towards the stairwell. Underground, there was a storage closet that had caught my eye on my many aimless walks through the school building.

I’d been stuck here for the past six months or so, and about a month in I had already memorised the layout of the building perfectly.

Frankly, I knew this wasn’t a bad life in the slightest. I had everything I needed given to me on a silver platter and didn’t have to concern myself with anything. But I just couldn’t stand the boredom.

Fortunately, I was really good at picking locks.

Unfortunately, they were careful to not give us any materials that could be used to make the tools needed to pick a lock.

Normally, one of my favourite improvised tools was a wheel spoke bent at a slight angle, but any thin bar made out of solid enough material could do the job if I was able to bend it into shape.

However, even bobby pins were difficult to get by, and they were by far the worst possible improvised tool that could theoretically get the job done… Given a terrible enough lock.

That in turn forced me to attempt something that Iron had made me realise was theoretically possible: picking locks using telekinesis only.

And so, I’d spent three months coming down here several times a week and trying to open this simple padlock with nothing but my magic. Many headaches later, I finally got it open for the first time.

Normally, practising picking a single lock over and over was a horrible idea; you’d get good at opening that one lock, but you wouldn’t really develop your skill in general. However, I didn’t really have a choice. Most other places were well-guarded, and I’d get noticed if I spent too much time there. Here, I wouldn’t. Besides, this was more about improving my telekinesis than my picking skill.

Once I got it open, I would just keep it on me and practise whenever I was alone.

Feeling rather proud as I daydreamed about my accomplishment, I found the storage closet. A few seconds later, my favourite padlock was open, and inside I found my leather jacket and ten millimetre pistol in its holster. I’d stolen them from a slaver on my first trip outside.

Putting both of them on, I made my way to the emergency exit. It wasn’t directly guarded, as it was a locked, solid steel door. I only had to worry about a patrolling pony turning the corner and spotting me, which severely limited the amount of time I could afford to spend on this lock.

Once I got the practice down, translating my old skills to the new method was easy, and this lock barely stood a chance. The first time it took me two extremely stressful minutes to open it. Now, a dozen times later, I could do it within a few seconds.

I stepped out into Fillydelphia proper and started trotting… somewhere. As usual, I couldn’t help but worry that my absence would be noticed. I reminded myself that, if I hadn’t been found out yet, after my many trips outside, I would most likely be safe.

I hadn’t just been going on leisurely strides while out here. I’d been looking for ways to escape this cursed city. Today, I didn’t really have a plan for what part to explore.

In my current get-up, I blended in as a handler. Not only were my leather barding and gun a dead giveaway that I couldn’t be a slave, but my weak, thin build and scar-free hide also showed that I’d never worked any hard physical labour. Oh, and there was also the fact I wasn’t wearing any sort of restraints.

Fortunately, it seemed that nowadays I could pass for a petite, young adult. The extra centimetres I’d gained over the last half year were enough to make just the difference, but I also realised I probably wouldn’t grow much more. Not that I minded; sneaking around was easier with my build and fur colour, and I was far from actually little. I’d just grown up surrounded by tall mares, so being slightly shorter than average felt odd.

However, I couldn’t just walk out of Filly; leaving through the front gate wouldn’t work. While most ponies barely noticed my presence when I was walking around, passing the guards at the entrance would likely result in me being asked a few questions. If things went south, they could end very poorly for me. They might even end up thinking I was a slave and tossing me in with the rest.

Besides… leaving without Petal and Banter felt wrong, even if they would eventually be freed once Iron was done with her contract. I had a vague idea where they were being kept, but I needed a safe route to an unguarded exit before I could attempt anything. I knew there had to be some way out of here without going through the main gate.

The underground tunnels below the city could definitely work, though I had yet to find an entrance to them that wasn’t welded shut or impossible to get to.

Another option was to leave through the old city. The slavers had currently only fenced off those areas, as opposed to building a wall around it. The reason for that was simple; I’d… overheard it when Red Eye talked to one of his trusted underlings. He planned on having the entire city walled off in the future, not just the small part currently being used. It would be a waste of time and resources to build a proper wall, only to tear it down again when it was time to expand.

Thinking about the sheer size of that… I had to admit, the ambition was itself impressive and made his grand plan seem… feasible. Even his goals to restore Equestria to its former glory through hard work and necessary sacrifice would be admirable if it wasn’t for his methods.

At the end of the day, I was a wasteland mare. Life had taught me to selfishly look out for myself first and foremost. So while I would have considered it awe-inspiring if he was as selfless as he wanted his underlings and slaves to be, it was hard to see him for anything else than what he really was. A horrible slavedriver.

Thankfully, he didn’t spend too much time talking about his dreams of the future, only occasionally devolving into ramblings about it during class. Whenever he did, I was worried that my true feelings would come to the surface, and that he would get tired of playing nice.

In general, I wasn’t a great pupil. Frankly, I was just so behind on every subject that I wondered why he even bothered teaching me. I knew less than even the youngest of the bunch, who was half my age. I had to admit, I was very worried he would suddenly decide that I wasn’t worth the effort and just make me a regular slave. In all likelihood, I’d just be sent to Petal and Banter if that was the case, but that wasn’t a great option either.

Distracted by my thoughts, I accidentally made eye contact with a slaver. Instead of panicking, I just nodded at him in greeting and continued on my way. I’d gotten into the habit of pretending to be one of them, and found it surprisingly easy to blend in. No one would question me about where I was going if I just acted confident enough.

However, as I turned my attention away from him, he caught up to me, putting his hoof on my withers. “I could use some help, are you busy?”

“Kinda… Why, what do you need?” Internally panicking, I still managed to answer in the most non-committal manner possible.

“I need to talk to somepony about something real quick, could you look over my stock for a while?”

“Uh, I can’t, my boss—”

“It’s only fifteen minutes. Just tell her Crow Call needed your help, and you’ll be fine. I’ll vouch for you, I promise.” He tried to flash a reassuring smile at me, but I could tell he was in a hurry.

“I… uh… okay.” This would probably be the easiest way to get out of the situation. Still, why did I have to meet his gaze? Stupid mare.

“Perfect! They’re all inside the factory. Just get on the catwalk and you’ll have a good overview.” He pointed to the entrance he had been standing in front of prior to my arrival. “I’m counting on you,” he said before disappearing around the corner of a building.

Sighing, I stepped through the back door and quickly found the stairs leading up onto the catwalk.

For the next quarter hour, I stood above the factory floor, watching over the slaves as they went about their labour. At first I was worried; what if they suddenly refused to do the work they were supposed to?

However, not a single one of them slowed down noticeably. Not that I could tell if they were doing what they were supposed to be doing; after all, I had no clue how this place worked. The process seemed simple enough. Some slaves would pour molten metal from a vat into a recipient, left it to cool for a while, and then put it through some kind of machine, out of which it would come out as an I-shaped beam.

Eventually, I relaxed a little and found my mind drifting. Crow Call… that name rang a bell, but I had no idea why.

Oh, right. Iron had told me about him. He had been her master while she was still in Filly. According to her, he was a spineless fool. From my brief interaction with him, I had a similar impression.

I remembered now. She’d used harsh words to describe him, but hadn’t seemed very hateful at all when she did. Like she was talking about a lovable idiot.

I sighed. I really missed her, and talking to her through letters just wasn’t the same. The last time she’d been in Fillydelphia had been over four months ago. Meanwhile, I got to see Petal and Banter every other week.

The rest of the time flew by, and I was suddenly snapped out of my thoughts by Crow walking onto the catwalk. “Ah, I can’t thank you enough…” He furrowed his brow. “I just realised I don’t know your name. Would you mind telling me? I can’t thank you properly otherwise.”

Remembering I was supposed to appear in a hurry, I started heading towards the exit. Thankfully, I’d given this question some thought while he’d been away and replied with as little hesitation as possible, “I’m Shackles.” Kind of a generic name for a slaver, but hopefully it wouldn’t draw any attention.

“Well then, Shackles, thank you so much!”

“Glad to be of help.” I turned my head towards Crow as I passed by him, giving him my best relaxed smile. “But I really need to get going now,” I added before continuing towards the stairs.

“Hold on, give me just another moment. What do you think of working under me? I could really use some assistance with my stock. You’ll probably know that I’m one of the more important ponies around here, so it would be a good opportunity.”

“I appreciate the offer, but I have to decline,” I answered as nicely as I could, internally panicking.

“Give it a bit more thought, please. Just a single day.”

Was he really this desperate for an assistant? I turned my whole body around to face him, in hopes of making myself clear. “I’m sorry, I just can’t.”

“Why not?”

“My boss wouldn’t like that. She’s very… strict about things like that.”

“Oh, I’ll talk to her if that’s the only issue. Who is it?”

No! I wanted to shout, but stopped myself just in time. “T-there’s no need, really.” Fuck! Why did I have to stutter? Pull yourself together, Lockpick.

“Why not? You seem like a bright young mare, why not try to fulfil your potential?”

“F-fine, I’ll ask her myself, but no guarantees.”

He gave me a bright smile. “If she says no, just let me talk to her. I know she’ll change her mind.”

Why was he so fucking insistant? In this disguise, I was just some average, inexperienced slaver. I wasn’t supposed to catch anyone’s eye, even if ponies might eventually realise that nopony actually knew me.

Still… tomorrow was another day off. So if I came in, worked with him, then said I preferred my previous work, that would be fine, right? Or would it only make my situation worse? I had no time to reflect on that.

“A-alright,” I stammered. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I really need to go now.”

As I left him behind, I started walking around the town again, careful to avoid anypony’s gaze and to look as busy as possible. The rest of my trip went by without issue as I wandered around the smaller, empty streets, pondering my options.

I could always ghost Crow Call, but that might run the risk of him asking around for me, which in turn would make it harder for me to blend in like I had been. After all, if too many ponies realised they didn’t know who I was, my cover would be blown. Frankly, I was almost a little surprised that it hadn’t already become an issue.

It would backfire completely, and I would be found out. Who knew what Red Eye would do once he caught on that I had been leaving the school building?

Then again… I was astonished nopony had ever noticed my absence before. I had a slew of excuses ready for the day somepony asked me where I had been all day, but so far I hadn’t needed them.

A younger filly would just get a slap on the hoof and be given extra attention to make sure she couldn’t escape again.

I, however, was no longer just a young filly and had already been encroaching on the border to adulthood. I still wasn’t a mare by most standards, but there were some slaves here who weren’t much older than me.

What if he’d just decide I wasn’t worth the trouble? I already wasn’t the best of his students and generally did not enjoy class. So why would he go the extra mile for somepony like me?

No, my safest bet was to help out Crow Call and then lay low for a few weeks.

I walked behind a group of three slaves, each pulling a cart full of scrap metal. We were headed for Crow Call’s factory.

A mare was starting to lag behind the group. I approached her and spoke gently, “Hey, I know you’re tired, but this is the last stretch. After this you’ll get to rest. The sooner we get there, the sooner you’ll get to sit down and breathe.”

I hated every word coming out of my muzzle. I wanted to tear out my tongue for saying that. And yet, I did it anyway. It needed to be said, though. If she lagged behind, everypony else would have to wait for her. The entire group might get punished—thankfully not by me.

Or worse yet… I might get found out. I despised having to think like that, but in this situation, I had to place my own survival above the comfort of others.

Because at the end of the day, I wasn’t really hurting her by saying that. I didn’t like following Crow Call’s advice, but it was also the most equine way of ensuring things would go well.

Come to think of it, I didn’t even know her name. Crow had told me, but sometime along the day, I’d forgotten, which made me feel even more guilty for what I was doing.

Eventually, we arrived at the factory, and I instructed them to place the materials on the haphazard pile near the smelters. Soon after, Crow Call entered the building.

We would then escort the slaves back to one of the common areas so that they could eat and sleep. Few were the captives like Iron who were ever allowed to roam semi-freely.

That confirmed my suspicions that escaping would be feasible. After all, it showed a lack of confidence. In theory, if you knew that the slaves wouldn’t be able to leave Fillydelphia, it wouldn’t matter where they went. If they missed a shift, it would be noticed.

Suddenly, Crow spoke up, snapping me out of my train of thought. “So, have you decided?”

I turned my head towards him. "Give me a few more minutes to think about it."

I was stuck. I didn't want to accept his offer. Even if I did, it wouldn’t be a great idea; disappearing from the school for entire days was risky even when I did so scarcely. Not to mention, I would only be available to work on days without class, which would complicate matters significantly.

However, the drawbacks of not accepting were significant enough to make me hesitate. First off, now that I knew he was watching me, I was really paranoid about leaving the school again. After all, if even an idiot like him had noticed me, and had realised I was mostly just walking around… What was stopping smarter ponies from noticing me too? And chances were, they wouldn't buy my excuses.

And if I stopped my weekly trips, there was the risk of my absence being noticed. Mostly by Crow, but maybe somepony else had picked up on my presence. Occasionally working for him would definitely lower suspicion.

Besides, I wasn't making much progress in my investigation. The issue was that the best areas for finding an escape route were heavily guarded. I was able to walk around the centre of town mostly unnoticed, but if I approached the outskirts—specifically the gate or the fence at the back—guards always eyed me suspiciously. That might only be my imagination, but I hardly dared snoop around those areas for any amount of time. That left me with less obvious plans, but I was starting to run out of options. I kind of understood why Iron had left this place like she had, instead of escaping like I knew she could.

Having an official identity here would definitely allow me to walk around those areas without risking too much.

Fuck, I couldn't believe my train of thought. Why was I actually considering this? Was I really willing to hurt others for the sake of my family and myself?

But… I'd already done things like that. There weren't any instances of me enslaving anypony, but I knew very well I was willing to step on others to survive. Even if I didn't pave the way, walking it had never bothered me.

I thought back to Trotnot, and how willing I was to let those foals fend for themselves. I may not have hurt them myself, but I was damn willing to let them suffer. I wasn’t a weirdo for having this attitude—if anything, playing hero was what weirdos did.

I had no issues taking a good deal, even though I knew the merchant was probably making a mistake. I had no issues picking a place clean, even though I knew we didn’t need more caps to live, even though I knew somepony else would starve without it.

No, I really had no issues with pushing back others to get ahead in life, if it was needed for my own livelihood or that of my family.

Yes, working as a slaver was quite a bit more fucked up than refusing to risk my life for a stranger, but I wouldn’t be enslaving anypony, and this was only a temporary measure.

It was finally time I accepted this part of myself. After all, Iron was willing to go back to her old job for Petal and Banter, so why wouldn’t I make a move as well? Make the load easier on her. If we escaped, she could kill her boss and disappear as well.

There was just one problem that made this impossible… If I started missing lessons, Red Eye would definitely notice. “I’d like to, but I really can’t abandon my previous boss. I know you could flex your authority, but it just wouldn’t feel right, you know? So, the best I could do is one, maybe two days a week, and I imagine that wouldn’t work for you.”

There simply was no way around that; I’d get noticed, and then Celestia knew what would happen. As I realised that, it really struck me what I’d been considering. Was I really this ready to drive slaves under the shitty pretext that I hadn’t been the one who enslaved them?

“Oh, that would work for me,” he said.

I couldn’t stop myself from letting out a loud, “Huh?” before quickly composing myself. “What do you mean? What’s the use of an assistant who can only help out once a week? Why do you want to take me under your wing this badly? Not that I don’t appreciate the offer, mind you.”

“Well, it’s to teach you the ropes of the job, have an apprentice.” He lowered his tone, leaning in towards me. “Not many masters understand how to get optimal efficiency out of their stock. They believe simply whipping them harder will somehow make it easier.” He shook his head. “No, the trick to efficiency is making them believe they are doing the job willingly. And I would like to teach you.”

A chill ran down my spine at the implications, but I ignored it in the moment. “But why me?”

He chuckled, then his smile turned to a smug grin. His eyes became sharp and his face full of confidence. “Oh, Lockpick, it’s because he asked me to.”

I gulped and felt my heart skip a beat. “W-who asked you?” As I said that, it struck me what name he’d addressed me by, and I realised just how screwed I was.

Realisation must have dawned on my face, because he said, “That’s exactly who. He noticed you weren’t the best student and was considering sending you to your family. The other option was to continue your education in other ways.” After he said that, his expression returned to the soft, dull one that he so often wore.

Struggling to make sense of the situation, I tried to say something, anything. He simply kept up his calm smile, and I realised just how badly I had underestimated him, how badly Iron had underestimated him.

After what felt like hours of internal conflict, I finally managed to formulate a question. “Why didn’t you tell me before? Why jump all those hoops?”

“So that you would give some thought to the idea. After all, if Red Eye gave you the option to become an overseer just to keep your liberty… you would have declined without thinking, wouldn’t you?”

He had a point… But I couldn’t, this was just way too messed up. Or was it? Whether or not I accepted this offer, ponies would suffer. However, if I did become a slaver… I could treat those ponies right, couldn’t I?

I let out a sigh. “I see. I take it I would be allowed to leave once Iron’s contract is over?” Of course, I would try to make a run for it before that.

He nodded, and I agreed to his terms. I felt horrid, like I’d betrayed one of the most fundamental principles of being a pony, but no matter how I thought about it… this was the logical thing to do.

I was sitting alone in the slaves’ common area, a large warehouse which was currently empty. More specifically, I was in a small sideroom. The reason for my presence was because Star Seeds had asked me to spend my time on standby here. I suspected it was to remind the slaves that they were being watched, but I hadn’t bothered asking.

I was reading a book, but time didn’t seem to fly, each page taking an agonisingly long time to get through. The book itself wasn’t particularly boring, I’d just been reading so much that the activity had lost most of its fun.

Seven or eight months ago, reading was something I did with pleasure. Sure, it was also to pass time, but just having that free time to pass was pleasant. Nowadays, though, it was something I had to do between orders. Something I did while on standby. Given that, over the past two months, I only had something to do once a week, it quickly grew to be nothing but a way to kill time.

I just wasn’t made for such a boring and inactive life. I needed to be doing something. As a result, I’d started a hobby of repairing old guns to a usable state. I trained some new spells as well; I’d learned to recharge spark batteries and fusion cells—the way they held their charge was fascinating—and had learned to prepare crystals to hold simple spells. The same exact trick I needed to create special variety bullets for my rifle.

After those two, motivation left me, and I found myself tending to my other hobbies, growing more and more bored as even they lost what made them special.

Worse yet, I didn’t have anypony to spend time with. Cherry and I hadn’t grown any closer, and most of our conversations still stopped at smalltalk. Even getting drunk with him wasn’t particularly fun. At the end of the day, even though we were both slaves, we weren’t equals. I was above him in the hierarchy, and that would forever stop us from getting closer. The same applied to the other slaves, except worse, as they didn’t even work directly with me.

The inhabitants of New Detrot weren’t much better. The few that remained after Star Seeds’ de facto takeover weren’t very open to conversation with the pony who was essentially his second-in-command, even though in practice I had no say in what happened—not that they understood that. Even most of the Talons were cold to me, and I regretted that my… acquaintance Grover had left a few months before my arrival. I’d only shared drinks with him a few times, but he was alright. I’d accidentally opened up a little too much when talking, but he didn’t seem to mind.

I closed my book, clearly unable to keep my train of thought hooked on the rather uninspired—though far from bad—storyline. Instead, I sat there for some amount of time; I lost track entirely, letting my mind drift wherever it wanted.

I had to admit, I was a little jealous of Sonata. She at least had Star Seeds. Their conversations weren’t usually all that amicable, but they were deeper than anything I’d had in months, if not years. After I’d gotten the small zeppelin in the Detrot crater repaired enough to be moved, the two had started discussing Star Seeds’ plans and the reasoning behind them.

Frankly, I didn’t care about them at all, I just wanted to find my friends safe. However, I did yearn for someone to have any sort of deeper conversation with.

That was why, when a slave mare popped her head into the room, walking over to me and chatting me up, I didn’t immediately tell her to fuck off. I didn’t recognise the mare, which meant she had to be from the shipment that was supposed to arrive today. Thus, even if my conversation with her would likely end up in pointless smalltalk, there was at least the chance of her seeing me as an equal.

“Hey, I’m Crystal,” she said as she sat down next to me. Her attitude struck me as notably bright, especially for a slave. Though given that she was sent here, it meant that she’d been causing trouble for the slavers over in Fillydelphia, which in turn meant she was probably crazy.

I pushed that thought out of my head. She was talking to me, no use preemptively judging her. “Iron Sights,” I replied quietly.

“Happy to meet you. What’s it like being a slave in here? Is it any worse than Fillydelphia?”

I almost wanted to tell her the truth, that I didn’t really know. I decided against it, instead opting for what I had observed. “It’s tough. They don’t work you to the bone in terms of how long you have to slave away each day, but the cold makes everything so much worse. The silver lining is that you’re not quite treated as expendable, as long as you behave. But fuck around a bit too much, and you might find yourself spending the night outside.” We really couldn’t afford casualties, even though we only got the least useful slaves.

“I see,” she replied in an all too lively tone.

I looked her in the eye, and she smiled. “How are you so chipper? Do you know something I don’t?”

Crystal shrugged. “I dunno, I just find solace that our masters are just as much slaves as we are. Helps me keep going.”

Oh, so she was crazy. “Maybe for the lower rank overseers, but the rest are most definitely free.”

“Oh no, they may not be slaves in the same way as you or I, but even they are slaves to their destiny.”

Definitely crazy. “So what? Their lives still suck infinitely less than ours, don’t they?”

“Maybe, but they’re under the assumption that they are free, that their actions have consequences. We are free of that delusion.” She sounded so confident that she gave me pause.

However, what she said was so utterly ridiculous that my brain caught up with it sooner rather than later. “You’re… saying that their actions don’t have consequences?”

“Maybe in the short term. But fate is like gravity. You can try to escape it, you can climb as far as you want. Eventually, you’ll get dragged down to where you belong.”

Just for a second, I decided to humour her. This was better than just smalltalk, after all. “You’re ignoring pegasi in all this.”

“Oh, some ponies definitely feel the pull of gravity less than others. Some can stay afloat most of their lives, even, only to eventually come down.”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “Well, of course, we all die one day, but that’s hardly fate.”

“Death is also not what I am talking about,” she said with a smile. It had been reassuring previously, but now it almost grated my nerves a little.

“Then what? What are we all destined to do?”

“That depends on each and every individual. No two of us share the same fate. All we have in common is that we are bound by it, our lives determined by it.”

“Bullshit, I’m here because of my own decisions and my own star-damned fuck-ups.” I was here because I wanted to keep my friends safe. I was out in the wasteland because I made the decision to step out. Candy was killed because I refused to follow that alicorn. I caught her eye because I was too good with my magic, with no care for any attention it might attract to parade it around. Everything in my life was a direct consequence of my actions.

She furrowed her eyebrows. “Why do you think you can be free of your destiny when you’re not even free of your masters?”

“But I am free! I chose to be here, and I chose to help Star Seeds. I’m not a slave.” I didn’t care anymore, I was right and she was not, and she needed to understand it.

“But you are,” she continued, her tone as calm as always. “Fate has you well in its grasp.”

I stood up, towering above her, but she didn’t seem to be scared. “The fuck do you know about me? I’ve lived my entire life doing everything I could to remain free, and I’m damn good at it. Once this job is over, I’ll do whatever I want with no care in Equestria.”

She calmly met my furious gaze, her lighthearted smile was completely gone, replaced by a sad, solemn smile. “That’s the feeling I have from the way you talk. Gravity’s very heavy for you, isn’t it? Poor foal.”

She was pitying me. This fucking cunt was pitying me. This slave was pitying me. I threw my hoof at her face with as much force as I could muster, knocking her to her side. “Fuck you, I don’t need your star-forsaken pity.”

She looked into my eyes before averting her gaze, tears forming. Served her right.

Exiting the room, I came face to face with another buck I didn’t recognise. He looked confused and out of place. “Out of my way, slave!” I shouted with much more venom than was deserved for what was effectively an innocent bystander.

Scrambling to comply, he fell to his rump as I exited the room before regaining some of my senses and teleporting away.

That evening, I got drunk enough for three, but no matter how much whiskey and wine I drank, the misery and loneliness just wouldn’t leave me be.

Footnote:

New Perk: Rad Foal — As you go through the increasingly devastating stages of radiation sickness, your body heals faster and faster.

Chapter 20 — Moving on

Moving on

My shotgun’s magazine floated in front of me, my magic illuminating my immediate surroundings, though it was too dim to light up anything past a metre. I was sitting in the middle of a bandit encampment, surrounded by their corpses. I couldn’t see them, but I knew they were there, and didn’t seem able to forget about their presence. I’d killed all three of them, after all, each with a buckshot to the chest. I’d caught them completely off-guard while they were chatting and sharing jokes. I passively loaded another shell into the magazine.

Lost in thought, I didn’t notice Grace as she approached, startling me when she landed right next to me. Close enough to be illuminated by my spell, she raised an eyebrow. “You okay there, Candy?”

“Yeah, sorry, I was just out of it for a second.”

Her eyes widened in concern. “Not the greatest of ideas, given where we are. Luckily for you, it seems we got them all.” Thanks to her taking care of the sentry, I’d gotten the jump on the three resting bandits. Meanwhile, she had continued to look around, in case any of them were out of the camp while I took care of it.

I nodded as she sat down next to me. “I know…” We were quiet for a bit, but my previous train of thought slowly started to return, and I didn’t want to let it fester. “Do you ever… wonder if what we’re doing is really right?” I asked.

She looked at me, confused, before shrugging and relaxing. “I dunno. I try not to think about that kinda stuff. Why are you asking?”

I let out a small sigh. “I know it’s dumb, and I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but… before I met you, it was so damn easy to disregard raiders and bandits as sub-equine scum. Nowadays… I’m not so sure anymore.”

“Huh…” Grace creased her brow in thought, staring at the sky. After a short moment, she turned to meet my gaze again and slowly nodded. “I think… I see what you mean. The fact that you now know that some of us can be redeemed…”

I frowned and gently shook my head. “Not exactly. I mean, it’s definitely part of it, but it’s not what I was thinking about.” I looked straight up, as if trying to glean an answer from the pitch black night sky. It took a while for me to gather my thoughts into coherent words. When Grace took a breath to start talking, I quickly cut her off, “I’m starting to wonder… It feels like I’m imposing my view of the world on these ponies. Who’s to say that their lifestyle is wrong, and who gave me the right to play judge, jury, and executioner?”

“You’re right,” Grace said, causing me to spin my head around in surprise, only to be met with a mischievous smirk. “You are being stupid,” she added when I met her gaze.

I shook my head, feeling a smile creep up on my lips as I rolled my eyes. “Hah, some help you are. Thanks.”

The smirk on her beak turned to a gentler smile. “Hey, no problem.” She let out a short, quiet laugh before continuing, “In all seriousness though, I don’t know. The way I’ve always seen it is that ponies accept that fate when they pick that for a career. Guards and mercenaries as well. You choose to earn your living in a risky way and that risk eventually finds you. In a way, bandits and raiders are just the other side of the coin.”

“I guess that makes sense, but I think that’s exactly the issue at hoof. We’re really not that different from them, so how can I be confident that my side is the right one? What if I’m just perpetuating some needless violence?”

I looked and pawed at the ground, illuminated by the dim light of my horn, still keeping my magazine afloat. “I know I’m overthinking this, I just can’t help it. I take the side of the weaker ponies who can’t fight for themselves, so obviously I should be justified in my actions, right? But there’s only so many ponies I can kill, so many corpses I can leave behind before it all catches up to me…”

A cold wind blew between the buildings around us, howling as it forced its way through shattered windows and narrow cracks in the walls. Neither of us spoke, unable to find anything worth saying.

Finally, it was Grace who broke the dreadful silence. “I think the fact that you do overthink things like this is what makes you such a good person. Better than anyone I’ve met, really. It’s what I love about you.”

My earlier smile came back, this time more of happiness than amusement. “I think you have a point, but I don’t think the answer to my question is that simple. Still, thanks, it means a lot.” I felt a quiet laugh escape my nostrils. “And thanks for not making too much fun of me.”

Her tone brightened immediately. “That’s what I like to hear! Let’s go back to town and get drunk to celebrate and to calm your mind’s desire to torture you!”

I stared at the note in front of me. It was short, full of grammatical mistakes, and penned in an irregular script. It was like a young foal had written this letter. Or, in this case, a young chick. Marred by my tears, it was now even more difficult to read.

The note was from Grace; it explained in simple terms why she had left, and ended with the sentence “Please don’t follow me.” She just didn’t feel like it was her calling anymore, and that it was time for her to find something else. I took another swig straight from the bottle of Coyote Tequila. I’d gotten into the habit of drinking because of her. Now she was gone, and I was drinking alone. Probably best to not let this become a habit.

Not that I was planning on getting blackout drunk, I just… wanted to distract myself from the pain a little. It already helped with the phantom pain, dulling it to a mere pins-and-needles feeling, so why couldn’t it do the same for my mental anguish? So far, all it did was make my thoughts more and more chaotic with every swig, and did very little to guide them elsewhere—well, maybe with the occasional thought about Platinum’s plot. I thought we were good friends, and then… she just left me.

There was a knock at my door. “Yes?” I called out, voice sounding weaker and coarser than expected.

Platinum opened the door and trotted into the room. “Hey. Are you alright?”

I couldn’t help but smile at his awkwardness, then shook my head, sniffling. “No.”

After trotting over, he sat down next to me on the tattered carpet. We waited there in utter silence, as if expecting something to break it, neither of us moving apart from a little shuffling about.

After Celestia knew how long, the one question that had been playing on repeat in my mind finally found its way to my lips. “I just don’t get it… why did she leave? All these months, everything was going so well… then she grows distant over two weeks before disappearing completely.”

Platinum winced, dodging my gaze. “I am sorry. If you want to blame me for that, I would understand.”

I shook my head again. “No, I don’t blame you. I came to you and asked for advice, and you told me what you thought. I shouldn’t have listened. Deep down, I fucking knew you were wrong; I knew that I shouldn’t just give her space and hope for the best. In the end, I simply made the comfortable choice, not the right one. I really should have just talked to her…”

I let out a deep sigh before taking another swig from the bottle. “Just why…”

“If it is of any consolation, I think I might have an idea for what might have driven her away… It is merely conjecture however, and I am far from sure.”

As he turned to look at me, I met his eyes. “Well, what is it?”

Frowning, he hesitated for a brief moment. “I think she was in love with you, and was ultimately unable to come to terms with it.”

I straightened out my neck and started standing up. “What? That’s ridi—” I cut myself short, realising that the signs had all been there before lying back down. “Shit, I think I’ve been ignoring her advances.” Worse, I knew they were there, but refused to take them seriously. Because acknowledging them would have been just too awkward. I’d brushed them off as a joke, shared a giggle, and moved on.

There were times I’d considered responding seriously to them, but I never quite managed to get it out. Always paralysed by the uncertainty, unwilling to take the step, scared that I had misunderstood her and that I would just make things awkward.

I mean, I didn’t even like mares to begin with, so I doubted griffin hens were my thing either. It wouldn’t have lasted, so why bother?

Then again, it didn’t last anyway, because she was now gone.

On the bright side… maybe I could fix it? Surely, finding her wouldn’t take more than a month. But then… she was a griffin, hiding from me would be easy for her. Unlike Iron, who was just a unicorn. Then again, she was kidnapped by a fucking alicorn so that logic hardly applies. Now, she was definitely dead. Even if she wasn’t, I wouldn’t ever see her again.

So yeah, maybe I could still find Grace. Hiding from Platinum would be a lot harder, after all… but what would be the point of him talking to her? What she needed to hear was something only I could say. What she needed was something only I could give her.

I really should have given her a shot. After all, the thought didn’t disgust me; in fact, I was curious. But that was all it was: curiosity, and I knew it would fade. A memory of my first time meeting Grace crossed my mind. Getting together with her would only result in her getting hurt further, wouldn’t it? If I talked to her, it would only cause her more pain, regardless of what I said. I couldn’t do that to her, no matter what I wanted.

Then again… there was always the chance that Platinum was wrong, and that she had left for other reasons. Although in either case she’d made her choice already. She wanted to be away from me, and ignoring her wishes would be bad…

Fuck, I would need to think all of that through when sober. Now, though, I really needed a distraction. Maybe tomorrow my head would be clearer, and the choice more obvious.

“I’ll think about this more in the morning. For now, I just want to forget about it for a while. Will you drink with me, Plat? Let’s talk about… anything else.”

I let my eyes scan over his side, briefly stopping on his rump before returning to his face. Wait, what was I considering? I couldn’t. I—

Who cares? The thought echoed in my mind for a brief few moments. I’d been refusing to look at him this way, but right now it just didn’t matter anymore. I needed a distraction, and hopefully he would be willing to provide it.

The distant memory of Silver and what he’d done to me crossed my mind, but I was good at pushing those specific thoughts aside.

Wait, what was I thinking? My best friend had just left, and I was now considering fucking my other best friend as a distraction? What the fuck were my priorities? Would that even help? No doubt, I would end up feeling hollow afterwards.

Shut up, stop thinking about the future, you dumb mare.

Right now, all I needed to do was drink, talk, and relax. Maybe something more would come of it, maybe it wouldn’t. Maybe it would briefly make me feel better, and maybe it would fuck me over.

Lost in my chaotic thoughts, I didn’t notice the hesitant pause before he gave his answer. “Sure, why not. Just… know that I will not be drinking as much as you; I do not really handle liquor very well.”

I lay there, basking in the afterglow and in the warmth of Platinum’s feathers, feeling his breath on my neck. This all felt so… right. “Thank you,” I whispered.

“Hmm? Fer what? I mean, you’re welcome, I guess?” For some reason, his accent sent my heart aflutter. Or maybe it was the fact that he didn’t bother hiding it. It just felt so intimate. Though perhaps he was just too drunk to care. No, he wasn’t that intoxicated, in fact, he could have almost passed as sober. Well, passed as sober to my inebriated self, so probably not all that sober. He really hadn’t had all that much to drink, either, so I really couldn’t tell.

I wonder what all determines how much of a lightweight a pony is. Weight definitely mattered, and I probably weighed twice as much as he. Well, maybe not quite, but it wouldn’t surprise me either. Gender also affected it, though I couldn’t remember off the top of my head which one had the better tolerance. I wanted to say mares, but maybe that was one of those rare instances where bucks had an inherent advantage? Well, the female body had more fat storage, so that probably acted as a buffer of some kind.

Anyway, the last—well, there were probably more I just wasn’t remembering—factor was genetics. Although, I couldn’t remember if that was just a myth or if it was real. Genetics affected so many things, it was insane. I knew for a fact that my build wasn’t just from hard work, but I’d also won the hereditary lottery. Apart from my eyes, of course, those were weak, just like mom’s. I wondered if my own foals would have the same issues as I did. Platinum did have particularly good eyesight, so maybe that would counteract—

I realised what I was thinking, and made an active effort to push that line of reasoning away. Sweet Celestia, if he knew what I just thought I would die from embarrassment.

Only then did I remember that he’d just asked me a question and that I’d just ignored him for several moments. Compounded with my previous thought, the realisation that I’d thanked him out loud made the heat in my cheeks grow further as I blushed furiously. No point keeping it to myself, though. “For what we just did, for this. I know it’s a bit silly, but… Well, I was kinda scared I wouldn’t be able to ever enjoy it after what happened to me.”

I moved slightly out of his embrace, turning my body to face him and look him in the eye. I got slightly dizzy from the motion, but quickly recovered. “But with you… I felt safe, and it was good.” I felt a bit awkward saying that, but that didn’t stop me.

“Well, shucks, I’m glad to hear that.” He leaned in close, nuzzling my neck, then pressing his face into my chest’s fur.

There was a long, comfortable pause during which we just lay there, relaxing in each other’s embrace.

Eventually, my courage fueled by alcohol in my veins, I spoke up, “You know… when we started drinking, I had a vague hope this would happen, but at the same time… I knew it would feel like just another hollow distraction…”

With my left hoof, I lifted his face to look at me. “But it didn’t. It felt like so much more and made me realise feelings I’ve been ignoring for way too long.”

He didn’t need to reply; the look on his face told me all I needed to know. Leaning forward, I kissed him, and he returned it.

It lasted a few seconds before he pulled away. “You wouldn’t believe how long I’ve wanted this, but I kept it to myself, scared to pressure you into something you didn’t really want. If I’d’ve known earlier I—”

I cut him off with another kiss, this one lasting much longer than the first.

Platinum had fallen asleep a while ago and was now comfortably snoozing with his head resting on my chest. Meanwhile, I didn’t want to sleep quite yet, instead opting to take in how nice I was feeling, and make it last as long as I could. My mind, however, was awfully clear now, and it was determined to remind me why exactly I’d wanted a distraction.

Grace was gone. I’d failed, and worse, I’d lost a friend. However, my earlier idea of maybe indulging in her attraction seemed a bit silly. Now that I had Platinum, it felt wrong to consider such an option.

Though… at the end of the day, I’d only had sex with him because I missed Grace, hadn’t I? That was awful of me…

The thought still stung, but when I looked at him, chest slowly rising and falling with every breath, the worry quickly melted away. It didn’t matter how I’d reached that realisation. What mattered was that I had reached it.

Fast asleep, Platinum turned onto his side, and I wrapped my body around his.

I looked around the hut made out of sheet metal and planks. If it wasn’t for how clean it was, I wouldn’t have guessed that this place was a doctor’s office. The white sheets covering the bed I was currently impatiently lying on were especially immaculate.

We only wanted to make a brief stop here to buy food, water, and some firewood—on top of my visit to the doctor. The latter had said she would be back shortly, but I’d already been waiting for close to half an hour. If she didn’t come soon, I would just leave and find another medical pony along the way.

I waited maybe five more minutes before the door finally opened inwards. “Sorry,” said the mare clad in a white lab coat. It was almost as clean as the sheets, much to my surprise. “One of the fillies got a nasty sprain, and I had to take care of it.”

“As long as it’s just a sprain, it should be fine,” I replied with a soft smile. I’d suspected something along those lines when she had run out of the building, telling me to wait inside. However, hearing her put it into words brushed the rest of my annoyance away. I couldn’t be mad at her for doing her job.

She sat down at the desk in front of the bed and pulled out a fresh sheet of paper from one of the drawers. “Yeah, she’ll recover soon enough. Sorry again for making you wait, I hope you’re not in a hurry.”

“It’s fine. My buckfriend and I are heading for New Detrot and wanted to cover as much ground as possible today, but I guess we could stay another night here anyway.” After all, we really weren’t all that pressed for time.

“You two traders? I saw the wagon.” She pointed her hoof behind her back, in the general direction of the cart.

I waved my hoof dismissively. “Just couriers. Well, I guess a courier and his guard.”

The mare shrugged. “Oh, a similar line of business then, and it does explain why you would be heading to that frozen hellhole.”

I shook my head. “Actually, that’s not even the reason we’re heading there. We mostly want to meet up with his sister, whom we’d last seen there.” Hopefully she’d stayed, but given what I knew of her, I wasn’t certain. Snow was too eccentric to be predictable.

In the eight months since Grace’s disappearance, my life had changed quite drastically. For a few weeks, we continued looking for her, but ultimately didn’t succeed in finding her. After that, I tried to continue the work she and I had done together, but it was much too risky to play vigilante alone. Besides, without her to keep me going, I was starting to feel like I was relying on might to make my actions right, and simply couldn’t get myself to hunt bandits anymore. Though I still helped wherever I could.

After that, my routine returned to what it had been before I met her. Except that Platinum and I were closer than ever, of course. One night, his sister came up in conversation, and he decided to find her again, under the excuse of introducing me as his wife—despite the fact that we weren’t married yet.

“I see. I take it it’s your first time in Skybridge, then? The town’s pretty new in the grand scheme of things. I myself have only been here for a couple of months, but the town itself is less than a year old. Would you believe that? Turns out that building a settlement along a good trade route brings in a lot of caps and ponies.”

I giggled, shaking my head. “Nah, I’ve been to Skybridge before. In fact, I was here when it was founded. It’s nice to see that it’s big enough to have a doctor now. It’s hard to believe how much it’s grown, really.”

“Oh wow, I see. That’s nice. Must be quite a change.” I nodded, but before I was able to say anything, she placed her front hooves on the desk and changed the subject. “So anyway, what brings you to my office? You don’t look injured, maybe you’re rad sick? Even then, it would be mild”

I felt my lips stretch into a smile. “Not quite; I’m here because I want you to confirm something.”

It was getting late. Headed for the edge of town, Platinum and I were walking through the empty streets of New Detrot. The town brought back old memories, each stinging with nostalgia and regret. The sooner we left this place, the better. At first I thought I would be fine, but one glance at the buildings of this town had me tearing up, reminding me once again that Iron was forever gone. After that, I couldn’t even bring myself to enter the bar with Platinum, instead just waiting in the cold and dark street.

Now, we were heading for where Snowfeather supposedly lived, in the outskirts of New Detrot. It wasn’t a place I’d often been to, so I hoped I would start feeling better sooner rather than later.

Finally, Platinum came to a stop. “I dunno which of those two houses it could be.” He pointed at two buildings facing each other. “The griffin at the bar done and told me she lived at the end of this here street. Guess we’ll find out.”

He walked over to the one on our right and gave it a firm knock. A moment later, a voice called out from inside, “Seriously? I was just getting ready for bed.” A dozen more seconds passed, and she called out from above us. “Plat, that really you?” I lifted my head to see a white blur peeking through a window. I should really stop being stubborn and get some glasses.

“Yes, it is me,” he said, keeping his tone collected. Too collected. From what I knew of him, this meant he was nervous. Why was he stressed about meeting his sister? Then again, it was the first time the two would see each other in six years, so that made sense. Of course, it was also possible there was something more that he had simply omitted.

There was a short silence before a white mass jumped the windowsill. As she glided closer, her facial features sharpened, and I was able to recognise her as Snow, as expected. She landed a few paces away from the two of us and remained there, looking at Platinum and paying no attention to me. “Hey.”

“Good to meet you again, dear sister.” Correction, he was very nervous. Or maybe he just normally spoke to her like this? No, I doubted that.

She briefly met Platinum’s gaze before looking at her hooves. “I… uh… would you like to come inside?”

“Gladly.”

Snowfeathers nodded and took off. “I will open the front door for you and your… friend.” Even as she motioned to me with her hoof, she didn’t bother looking at me. I didn’t understand what could warrant such rude behaviour. In all fairness, meeting her long lost brother after such a long time would explain why she didn’t care about anypony else at the moment. It seemed like she might not even remember me.

About a minute later, Plat and I were sitting at her table. Soon after, Snowfeather sat down as well.

She spoke in a similar faux-sophisticated tone to Platinum’s, except it was obvious she was faking it. “I am very pleased to see you again, brother. I—” She stopped mid-sentence, frowning. Her eye landed on me by what seemed to be an accident, before she quickly averted her gaze. “You know what? Fuck it, I’m not bothering with the subtle approach. I’m sorry for the shit I said. I gotta get this off my chest or this will all be way too awkward.”

Platinum’s lips curled into a small smile that spread through his whole face, then through his body as he visibly relaxed. “I as well would like to apologise for what has happened between the two of us.”

Snow shook her head. “Nah, bro, you don’t need to apologise. None of what happened was your fault, and you were completely right.” Her gaze met mine once again, but she quickly cut off the contact.

“Regardless, I have said things no sibling should ever tell their own kin.” After saying that, he fell quiet, looking down at the table, then over at me, likely in an attempt to buy himself more time. Before I could come up with anything to add, he sighed and continued, “Besides, I have come to realise that I was wrong.”

“But you said—” Snow started, only to be cut off by Platinum.

He leaned forward, firmly putting his hooves down on the table. “I know what I have said, and I have had time to think it through and change my mind.”

Snow’s eyes widened. “Really?” Platinum nodded. “Well, then I’ll accept your apology if you’ll accept mine.” By now, she was grinning widely, and Platinum’s expression wasn’t too different as he relaxed once again.

After a short silence, I decided to ask the question that had been on my mind this entire time. “Would you mind telling me what happened between you two? You didn’t mention any of that, Plat.” In fact, in hindsight it almost seemed like he’d purposely been dodging the topic.

Snow furrowed her brow, then opened her mouth in surprise. “Oh, I remember you. I was wondering why your face seemed so familiar. Your name is Candy Cane, isn’t it?” I nodded, and she looked at Platinum and asked, “You mind if we give her the short story? I’m not really in the mood to recall details from that long ago.”

Platinum hesitated for a brief moment. “I suppose. It is a rather simple story, after all.” He shrugged. “I was searching a building for supplies—caps, ammo, anything to survive another week—but apparently a scavenger had already claimed it as her own. I must have missed the signs, likely because I flew in rather than take the main entrance. When the scavenger found me, she held me up at gunpoint and ordered me to give her everything I had.” He looked over expectantly at Snow.

“Then I returned, and when I saw that, I simply turned the scav to ash,” she said. “We had a huge argument over whether or not I should have killed her. There was screaming and name calling, and I ended up flying off.”

She paused momentarily, letting out a deep sigh. “I only grew to regret my decision when it was far too late to go back and find Plat. At least that’s what I told myself, but I think I was just scared that it would only make things worse.”

Platinum nodded. “I felt the same for a long time. Even when I found out where you were, I still found excuses not to come see you.” He turned to me and smiled. “It took a strong mare to give me the courage I needed.” I couldn’t help but share his mirth, my mouth opening in a wide grin.

“But wait,” I said, “it’s good that you two forgave each other, but what made you change your mind, Plat?”

“Well… At first I was upset at Snow for impulsively killing an innocent scavenger… But as the years went by, I slowly realised that, ultimately, she had brought it upon herself, and that she wasn’t innocent. She may not have been a bandit, but her actions still made her a bad pony, and she should have expected the consequence.”

While his choice of words worried me a little, I understood what he meant.

Snowfeather slowly nodded. “It’s good to hear you’ve come around, but I don’t think I was in the right, either. I shot way too early and shouldn’t have been so hasty.”

Platinum shrugged. “What’s done is done. It seems we were both in the wrong, sister.” He may have physically relaxed, but was clearly still mentally on guard.

“Well, let’s drink to that! I was gonna go to bed, but it’s not every day you get to reunite with your long-lost brother.” Before I could say anything, she disappeared into the back of the house. She came back with a bottle of Wild Pegasus Whiskey in her mouth and a stack of three glasses held between her torso and foreleg.

She set down the bottle in the middle and a glass in front of each of us. When she moved to pour me a drink, I placed my hoof over the glass. “I can’t.”

She shook her head in confusion. “What do you mean you can’t?”

I stayed silent as I stared at her, trying to keep my expression as neutral as possible, but finding it impossible to suppress the tiniest of smirks. Puzzled, she looked over to Platinum, who was about to reply, only to stop himself after catching my look. This continued on for a few more moments before her eyes widened with realisation. “Are you two—” she stammered, motioning to the two of us. “Are you—” She pointed at me. Unable to find her words, she opened and closed her mouth a few times like a fish out of water. “I— You—” Finally, she managed to get a full sentence out. “Am I gonna be an aunt?”

Platinum and I nodded in synchrony, and I replied, “It’s part of why we’re here. At first, we just wanted to pay you a short visit. But with a foal on its way…”

I nodded to Platinum, and he picked up where I’d left off. “I kinda wanted us to become a family. Mom, dad, and auntie.” He dropped the mask accent, and I had to stop myself from sighing in relief. Finally. “So, what do you say, sis, wanna leave with us?”

I was expecting her to be hesitant and put a little thought into it. Instead, she just blurted out, “Sure, I was getting bored of this joint anyway.” Then again… with her, one shouldn’t really expect anything.

70% to next level.

Chapter 21.1 — Past

Chapter 21: Past (part 1)

While everyone else walked into the warehouse, I stopped in front of it for a few moments. It had clearly recently undergone some renovations, as the façade had some newer walls made out of a different material.

“Move,” grunted the unicorn slaver behind me, brutally poking my side with the butt of his rifle.

I wanted to smash his head in. What did that fucker think? However, the feeling of shackles on my front legs calmed down that desire fairly quickly, and I complied, taking a step through the door.

Inside the warehouse, the air was stale, with a strong smell of pony floating about. It wasn’t very aggressive, but it made the atmosphere feel heavy. In stark contrast, it was brightly lit, though not with any warm colours. The light was artificial, cold, and sterile. Even the concrete was a stark contrast with the outside. The snow felt cold but refreshing and soft, while the floor here was hard and uninviting.

Mumbles echoed throughout the warehouse, coming from a group of a dozen ponies watching us enter, though I felt like their gaze was primarily focused on me.

The rest of the slaves I’d come in with were aligned in a neat row to my right. One of the slavers, an earth pony mare, motioned me to get in line.

Behind me, one last slave entered, joining me and the rest. The slaver then walked up to each of us, taking the shackles off of everypony in the row. When she eventually reached me, however, she hesitated and looked over to one of her colleagues, who just shook her head. The slaver then undid the restraints of the mare who’d entered after me, before leaving the warehouse with the sound of a lock clicking closed.

While the rest of our group hesitantly dispersed, I simply sat down. I just didn’t want to bother with anything right now, especially not these kinds of ponies. Something about this place made me feel exhausted, or perhaps it was the trip that had taken so much energy out of me. My last year, spent enslaved in Fillydelphia, may have fuelled my raider spirit, but right now I just didn't feel like asserting myself. It could wait, at least for now; I doubted anyone would try to place themselves in the pecking order above me anytime soon.

This was exactly why it surprised me so much to hear a mare trot up. She was older, maybe forty years of age, and had a hide marred with ancient scars of bullet wounds and cuts. A long, deep scar ran across her muzzle, almost as if someone had tried to cut off the entirety of it.

“Hey there, lassie.” She spoke with a heavy accent that I didn’t quite recognise.

“Hey.” I really didn’t want to bother with niceties right now, but I couldn’t bring myself to attack an older mare on sight.

We stayed quiet for a short minute before I couldn’t take the awkwardness anymore. “So, did you want anything from me?”

“Not really. Just figured you might wanna ask some questions, given you probably don’t know anything about this place. I like getting on the new slaves’ good side, since my body ain’t what it used to be.”

I raised my eyebrow. If she was offering… “Guess I’ll take you up on that.” Maybe a more diplomatic approach wouldn’t hurt. After all, this wasn’t Filly, and there were less than thirty other slaves in the building. “Who’s everyone I should know about? Who’s the top dog?” I didn’t know whether or not I would be beating them into submission, or if I would be below them in the pecking order instead. The latter was less likely than the former, but I couldn’t exclude it entirely.

Much to my surprise, she let out a small chuckle. “I guess if you look at things like that… That would probably be me, though I don’t exactly rule by force.” That… would make things quite a bit more difficult for me.

Her mirth vanished as quickly as it had shown up. “As for your first question… Keep away from the big boss’s bodyguard, Guard Dog. Tall as a tree, thin as a stick, perpetually pissed off, smokes a lot; you can’t miss her, really. She’s usually in this warehouse reading some shitty pre-war novels, but she’s out for today. Cherry claims she’s a slave just like us, but that’s bull. She’s pretty much only here to watch over us. She’s just a low-ranking slaver and won’t hesitate to beat you if you talk to her the wrong way. Poor Crystal got quite fucked up just tryna chat her up.”

Ah, so she was the real top dog. Had a fitting name, too. “Didn’t you say she’s built like a house of cards? Why don’t you guys just teach her a lesson?”

The mare frowned. “I’d love to, but I doubt she would just let herself be beaten up by a bunch o’ slaves. She’d probably pull some unicorn bullshit, and we’d all end up punished.”

“Alright, I see.” The fact that she was a unicorn complicated things, but I had no doubt I could still have a shot at putting her in her place. “By the way, are Cherry and Crystal names I should remember?”

She shook her head. “Not really. I guess you might wanna know that Crystal is our resident nutcase. She doesn’t mean any harm, but she’s a bit crazy. Cherry is Guard Dog’s assistant, though he’s a lot more down to earth, but other than that he’s unimportant.”

I just nodded and didn’t add anything.

“Just another tip, though, and sorry if I’m poking my nose where it don’t belong… I can see that you’re tough, but it’s usually the tougher ones that die out here. They think that, compared to Filly, the overseers are lax and weak and then try to start shit. Ends badly, all of the time.”

I raised an eyebrow. “How bad?”

“Like sleeping outside in a snowstorm. You either survive it, or you learn your lesson. And if you don’t, you get to repeat it.”

“Noted.” At least it would seem that I wouldn’t have to live in fear of being stabbed in the back. “By the way, what kind of work do you guys end up doing here?”

“Oh, lots of things. Someone with your build would probably end up collecting metal scraps in the ruins, though.”

“What about the rest of you?”

She spent around a quarter of an hour going on everything she knew. At some point I must have blanked out, because I couldn’t remember everything.

I was a mare. That much was clear from the absence of any alien feeling between my hind legs. Instead, another part of me felt wrong. The pony whose memory I was watching was a pegasus. Thankfully, she wasn’t airborne, instead sitting on a sofa and looking out of a familiar window.

I was able to briefly enjoy the utter silence of the room she was in, devoid of any high-pitched ringing that I was so used to. “Hey, Zeph?” asked Arcane Spark, the mare I’d been expecting to be my host.

I felt myself turn my neck to look at her and make a noise in acknowledgement.

“I was thinking…” She levitated an envelope over from the kitchen table. “I got this letter, and it’s from the government. It’s been sent to every unicorn with a higher education degree relating to magic, apparently.”

My host raised her eyebrow. “And? What’s it about?”

“It’s a pamphlet for a program of theirs, called the Fount of Magic. Essentially, they’re looking for powerful unicorns to match together in order to create a new generation. One capable of stronger magic.”

“And you want to participate? I thought you didn’t want foals, Spark.”

“I’m getting to that, because there is a catch. We’re not allowed to keep the foal, as it will be put in special care to make sure it receives the best education possible.”

“But then… why? What’s the point? You’ve never really been the patriotic type, Spark, so I doubt that’s it.”

“Well, I have a few reasons. The first being curiosity. I’ve always wanted to experience pregnancy. I just know that I’m too focused on work to ever make a good mother.”

Zephyr nodded. “I can’t say it’s something I’m curious about, but that does sound like something you’d say. Well, that’s one of the reasons. What are the others?”

“Would be a good opportunity to take a break from work and spend it with just you. There’s an extra month of maternity leave included, which I would have to spend in a nice, secluded location where I wouldn’t need to worry about anything. You’d be allowed there, too, to keep me company. Just imagine, getting two months, away from everything. Pretty much like a holiday.”

“I see. You seem to have put a lot of thought into this… I’ll admit I can’t really say no to a two month vacation.” Zephyr chuckled.

Arcane gave her a bright smile. It was such a stark contrast from the mental image I had of her that it almost shocked me. “Yeah. Besides, no matter how much I try to keep my ego in check, part of me still wants to pass on my genes.”

I felt Zephyr shrug. “I wouldn’t say that’s necessarily your ego. It might just be a motherly instinct that even you can’t suppress.”

Arcane returned the gesture. “Maybe. In either case, it felt egotistical to have a foal just to pass on something of myself. Now I have other reasons, and I can help Equestria in the process.”

They fell silent for a moment, and I felt Zephyr crease her brow. A dozen seconds later, she said, “But wait, why did they only allow unicorns with degrees in magic to participate? I don’t think every powerful unicorn studied magic… And vice-versa.”

Spark shrugged. “Probably logistics. Sending a letter to each of the millions of unicorns in Equestria would be a pain, not to mention organising the testing for the volunteers. At least this way they’re restricting their efforts while keeping most of the results. From what I understand, it’s not restricted to magic graduates; in theory, any unicorn can go take the tests.”

“I guess that makes sense. I can’t imagine how much work it would have been just to get in touch with everyone in even just that small subset.” I felt her shiver at the thought.

“Yeah, me neither. Though I guess you have a better idea of just how much work that would involve, with your job and all.”

Their conversation grew gradually more distant as their topic shifted, becoming less and less intelligible and more and more blurry.

The memory continued like this for a long while. I could make out only the occasional exchange of sentences on the topic of the Fount of Magic. As expected, Arcane had gotten in with no problem. “I can’t believe I ended up having to do it with my old Theory of Magic teacher. He’s well in his fifties!”

Over the many different scenes blurring together, eventually Arcane started getting noticeably larger, and the memories seemed to flow slower. Or maybe there were just more of them.

Eventually, the blur slowed down enough for me to make out my surroundings. I was standing in front of a large palace, entirely surrounded by lush gardens. They were shades of green I hadn’t even imagined could possibly exist. Colours so bright that I couldn’t believe they were on plants of all things. A gentle breeze hit me. In the sun’s heat, it brought a welcome freshness to my coat.

Leaves gently rustled all around me, accompanied by the shrill but quiet chirping of birds. It was a sound that I’d heard in many recordings in the stable. Experiencing it in the flesh was completely different; so much cleaner and full of depth.

And the smell. This wasn’t just the clean, pure, air like I’d grown so accustomed to since I had left Stable 4. No, there was so much more to it. So many different fragrances mixed in the air without being overwhelming. For all the things the wasteland did have, fresh flowers it did not.

For the first time in three years, I felt genuine wonder and amazement. The sun was one thing. Fresh air was another. But this? This was so far beyond anything I’d ever imagined! In that moment, it once again struck me just how damn much ponykind had lost.

What we’d gained was so fucking insignificant in comparison. Complete and utter freedom was great in theory, but when you were a pony like me, who’d only used said freedom to ruin her life and those of others…

I was just a stupid kid, thrown into the wasteland and believing I could do anything as long as I had a gun. I had a headcount higher than even most raiders. In fact, I essentially was one, or at least had been… No, I definitely still was; that attitude wasn’t simply something you forgot about. After all, so many of my kills were born from the simple thrill of taking another life, of seeing blood splatter in ways that I found oh so beautiful. I’d used necessity as a convenient excuse to commit atrocities whenever I felt like it.

Even now, I was using that same excuse to kill innocents, was I not? Skybridge was a perfect example of that. I claimed it was inevitable, and yet I’d had a great deal of fun murdering those guards.

Zephyr took a slow, deep breath, and I felt her face turn to a wide, serene smile. This was enough to calm the downward spiral in my mind.

No. It wasn’t the same. I had to remind myself how I felt before taking those drugs and after they wore off. I hadn’t killed anypony for my own selfish whims. I was no longer the same pony who had killed some scavengers and orphaned their foals, or the one who’d so eagerly massacred two ponies because I liked a rifle.

I was doing this for my friends, no matter the cost. But then, wasn’t that selfish too, in a way? I was placing their lives above others’. No, no, no. I shouldn’t think like that. It still couldn’t be compared to killing for fun.

The gorgeous view spreading out before me made me wonder… Maybe… maybe there was still a path to redemption for me. A path to a brighter future, where I could eventually forget the weight of my actions. After I was free, I would look to actively start… helping others. Not for my own benefit, but to maybe try and atone. It was what Candy would have done. And yet, instead of following in her path, I’d spit all over it in a selfish fit, in a childish attempt at avoiding any sort of responsibility. Just why did I have to stray from her shining light as my role model?

And then, when I would finally start feeling better, maybe once I’d have helped as many innocents as I’d hurt, I would find myself a nice buck. Not somepony like Crow, who had just been toying with me. Somepony like Blue Moon, and with a heart as good as Candy’s to keep me on the right track. Together, we could try to improve the wasteland, even if it was only one tiny thing at a time. We would do like that one DJ always said… what did he call it…? To fight the right fight? No, that sounded wrong.

As Zephyr approached the front door and knocked, I was slowly pulled out of my idealistic reverie. Sweet fucking stars above, what happened to me? Was the sight of a beautiful garden really enough to turn me so soft? There was no way we could ever get old Equestria back…

But maybe if we tried…?

The memory accelerated again, becoming another blur, albeit a much slower one than before. Arcane and Zephyr would go on daily walks in the gardens and spend days reading and talking at a table in the middle of them. I lost any last shred of my sense of time, torn between my own hopes and the dreamlike state of the gardens. In this infinite calm, feelings from my youngest years resurfaced. This sense of wonder, of foalhood innocence. A feeling like everything was possible. Like I could manage anything with enough time, effort, and guns.

Unfortunately, it couldn’t last forever.

Eventually, Arcane gave birth to a filly in perfect health, according to the doctors. When Zephyr nuzzled her, I felt a deep warmth throughout my entire chest, and it fuelled my dreams even further. One day, in the distant future, I would have a foal of my own. Maybe he would be born with some kind of mutation due to my taint poisoning. Maybe she would have other issues unrelated to it. Or maybe he would be completely fine. Regardless, he or she would be mine, and I would damn sure do a better job than my own parents.

Memories seemed to flow in a weird way. None of them were very precise. It was just a vague feeling of being in the same room as those two; only occasionally did a concise scene condense into something more than that. However, the feeling of warmth, love, and comfort were so strong that it didn’t need to.

This all came to an abrupt halt when the doctor stepped into the room. “Alright, so this concludes the first month.”

Zephyr glanced over to Arcane, whose expression had turned solemn. A few seconds later, I felt her stomach drop, her eyes widen, and her muzzle contort into a frown. “No…”

She took a few steps forward, but Arcane looked at her and motioned her to stop. “Zeph, please… We knew it would come to this. It hurts me as much as it hurts you.” Then, turning to the doctor, she added, “Please, make sure she’ll live a happy life.”

The stallion simply nodded as he wrapped the filly in his telekinesis. She stirred a bit in her sleep, but didn’t wake. Zephyr held out a hoof and opened her mouth but remained quiet. A moment later, the doctor and infant were both gone, and I could feel tears streaming down my cheeks. I heard Spark softly whisper, “Goodbye, Golden Aurora.” If my body allowed me to double-take, I would have. Her? But how…? Had the Stable-Tec executives pulled some strings? Had Arcane?

Before I could dwell on it, time accelerated slightly, and by the end of the day, they were back in Detrot. There, it sped up, once again growing blurry with the monotony of day-to-day life. The only difference was a certain constant lethargy to her body. Occasionally, things would slow down as Zephyr cried into Arcane's neck, talking about the foal.

Finally, the memory snapped into sharpness after another uneventful week. I found myself in a small, cold, rectangular room, a stark contrast to anything I had experienced through Zephyr's eyes for the past year.

She was alone with a stallion, clad in a clean white suit. “Hello, Miss Aurora. What brings you to my clinic?”

“Shouldn’t you know? I was told to come here to get my wartime stress disorder treated. That… you’re the expert.”

“I wanted to ask anyway,” he replied. “So, why don't you tell me about yourself? Has this always been an issue for you?”

Zephyr went on to explain what happened to her. When she was finished, she said, “Are you sure it’s WSD? The war isn’t really what I’m upset about.”

“Yes, yes. That’s quite common. All it takes is one event, and your entire psyche breaks down around it. You might have gotten used to it, but I doubt you would have had such a reaction to what happened in times of peace.” He looked at her and gave a reassuring smile. “Luckily, cases like yours are often very receptive to one of the kinds of treatment I can offer.”

“What would that be?”

“Selective memory removal. If you lose the catalyst for what caused your psyche to break down, of course you will be better. It’s by far the best treatment for cases like yours.”

Zephyr hesitated for a few moments before finally sighing and agreeing.

“Perfect. I can do it right now, if you wish.” She nodded, and he continued, “Great, I will need a signature though, since it is quite an invasive procedure.”

He produced a short legal document from his desk and floated it to her along with a pen. Zephyr signed it, and the stallion told her to take a deep breath and count down from ten. His horn glowed, and the memory abruptly ended.

I awoke with a mild start, my head was pounding, my mouth dry, and my ears ringing as usual. I noticed I wasn’t in my bedroom, instead lying on the sofa in Star Seeds’ office.

My mind raced through everything that I had just dreamed. Hah, me, get back on the right path and start a family? As if a glorified raider like myself could ever do that. I snorted. Even then, I doubted she would let me…

“Oh, you’re finally conscious. I was starting to worry you wouldn’t ever wake up.”

I groaned. I couldn’t tell which was worse, being alone with my thoughts, or being alone with him. “Why, how long was I out?”

“I don’t know when you went into the orb, but… between twenty and twenty-six hours.”

“Oh shit.” Not only did it pollute my head with stupid thoughts, but it also made me neglect my duties.

“Indeed. Now, if you would be so inclined, I would like to speak with Sonata.”

With my current state of mind, that order was quite welcome. The memory orb had clearly messed me up, emotionally as well as physically. I chose the simplest method and simply turned on my PipBuck’s radio. Before I could even pick a station, I found the corners of my vision growing dim, my body feeling more and more distant.

“Hey, Star,” I said as everything around me sharpened and the fog surrounding my mind dissipated.

“Good evening, Sonata.”

“You wanted to speak to me?”

He nodded. “I shall cut straight to it. Another caravan has disappeared. It should have been here last week, though nopony in the region appears to have seen it.”

“Ah, shit.” This was the third, out of four, that was lost over the past three months. That simply wasn’t a coincidence. “What do you think is causing this? Some unexplained field of radiation? Ghouls? Other environmental hazards? Can’t be, otherwise we’d know about them, right?”

“Indeed. I’ve even requested extra security for this one, and surely griffins would be able to avoid something as simple as that. Not even that was good enough.” He sighed, pausing for a moment. “I think we are dealing with an organised gang of some sort.”

“Could still be something else, but I think that’s a reasonable assumption. Are you going to send Iron and I?”

To my surprise, he shook his head. “No. I could request more guards and mercs and mount a frontal assault on the bandits, with Iron leading it. However, it would take a lot of resources to rat them out. We have no clue where they are, and it is a long way from here to Fillydelphia. It would take months, and likely many sacrificial caravans, to even figure out where they are hitting us from.”

“Then what? Fetch shipments with the airship? That would slow down work here in New Detrot.”

“Indeed it would, which is why I am considering no longer using that caravan route at all, at least for a while. The one leading west doesn’t seem to have this issue, so we could still trade for supplies; we just wouldn’t get any for free from Red Eye.”

But there was an issue with that… “How long would that last? We don’t have infinite reserves of caps.”

“Since the gem mine in Marey is almost ready, that would potentially be used to add a large cushion to our finances.” I knew that, but it still wouldn’t be enough, and had other downsides. “Even with that, though, I don’t think it will buy us more than a year. That should be enough to get rid of those bandits, but at the end of the day, it would likely still need to be done. It almost seems more beneficial to simply stomp them out now and deal with the upfront cost.”

“Ah, I see. I take it that’s where I come in? You want me to come up with something you haven’t thought of yet?” I still didn’t like that I was helping a slavemaster like him, but if I could help slaves in any way I could, I had to. Besides, despite his methods, his goals were genuinely amazing, and I couldn’t help but admire that.

He nodded, and I fell silent, thinking. There was an option at the back of my head, but it seemed so wrong that I refused to even consider it. Instead, I backed all the way up to the root of the problem.

We needed some additional economic power. We needed it in order to sustain our workers, but also purchase certain materials that were hard to obtain around here. We would also need to increase the amount of workers we had, and that also wouldn’t come cheap now that trips from Fillydelphia were out of the question.

One option we did have would be to sell the gems we dug out from the quarry. However, those were much more valuable to us than the caps we would get from them. After all, we would need a lot of them to produce the quality talismans we would need. Besides, we would need a lot more workers to get the mines operating at any profitable rate.

To make matters worse, it would be a dangerous endeavour, costing us a lot of our labour force. And with the current situation, our workers were one of our scarcer… resources, as much as I hated to think of them like that.

If we had a reliable power source already, we could just start producing our own food and selling it. That would not only reduce many of our costs, but it would grant us some decent income. However, that was the difficult part. The nearby dam, while it still stood, was in an advanced state of disrepair. We would need a lot longer than a single year to get it fixed, especially given the radiation levels there. Iron could get some work done on it, but even at a daily pace that just wasn’t fast enough. We would need a full team of engineers in hazardous material suits and a large quantity of Rad-X and RadAway to make it work. Or maybe some ghoul engineers.

My previous, horrible, idea crossed my mind again. Well, I might as well mention it, if only to brainstorm. “I might have thought of something…”

As I went on to explain it to Star Seeds, I realised just how twisted I’d become. No, this really wasn’t that bad. In fact, this was the right, even moral, thing to do. It just wasn’t a very nice thing.

After a brief disagreement on the feasibility of the plan, he ended up accepting to give it a shot.

The forest had grown noticeably denser, our surroundings now almost as dark as night, even though it wasn’t much past noon. We’d been walking for a couple of hours since leaving Gluon Village.

That place had brought up surprisingly vivid memories, much more than when I first came back to New Detrot. Seeing that same shop, the one near which a ghoul attacked me, filled me with instinctual fear that I had to suppress. It was the first time I’d come close to dying, and it had clearly marked me, more than I would have believed or admitted.

Even before that, the walk through Inntation left me in a strange haze of nostalgia and regret. Fortunately, all of that was left behind when we split off from the road that led onto Foal Mountain. Instead, we started following this one, which led to a research facility deep in the forest, according to Star Seeds.

Cherry walked a few paces behind Gloria and I. She was one of the griffin Talons working under Star Seeds. The fact that he’d sent her with me as reassurance actually unsettled me more than it calmed any worries. He thought I could use the help, and that in itself was enough to make me unsure about this mission.

Worse yet, the forest itself was creeping me out. There had only been the occasional red bar on my EFS. Out of those, merely one critter had jumped out at us so far—it was some kind of weird, mutated giant feline. It had moved incredibly fast, but nothing that SATS’ predictive computations hadn’t been able to counteract.

However, what bothered me was the flora. It had started out normal. Brown, half-dead; the usual. Now, though? Some of it was colourful, brighter than what I’d seen in Zephyr Aurora’s memory. They didn’t look natural. Those plants didn’t belong in the Equestrian wasteland, and certainly not anywhere as dark as this forest.

Worse yet, the further we went, the tighter the road became. The vegetation seemed so determined to grow that it had broken off a lot of the asphalt on the sides. It was probably only a matter of time until the path disappeared entirely. If the forest continued to grow darker and its flora weirder, the path would probably be completely gone in some places. I could only hope that wasn’t the case.

That sliver of hope was soon crushed as the road abruptly stopped, replaced by a thick blanket of long grass, occasionally interspersed with flowers of colours that practically seemed to shine in the dim light. Everything here practically screamed poisonous.

I wore barding on top of thick, rugged fabric, so the grass wasn’t too scary to me. Gloria could fly between the trees, but Cherry would be in a rough spot. After a short discussion, he agreed to let me float him. He wasn’t too fond of it, but he understood he was better off not touching it. Plus, we had to be getting close to the facility, so it would only be a temporary measure.

Walking through the tall grass, I was still careful to avoid any and all flowers, moving in a zig-zag pattern between them. The grass was creepy enough on its own, but the flowers were oh so much worse.

Suddenly, I felt a sharp sting in my right hindleg. Looking back, I noticed a cut in my pants, a small stream of blood trickling out. I searched around for the cause of this injury, and it took me a bit longer than I liked to admit to find it. A small tree, made of crystalline spikes, stood among the blades of grass, well hidden by them. Its branches were almost perfectly transparent, visible only because of the way they refracted light. Keeping Cherry afloat wasn’t particularly difficult, but it did take some concentration, which was probably what caused this oversight on my part.

I levitated out a roll of bandage and haphazardly wrapped it around my leg. Such a small knick was hardly dangerous, but I needed to keep my leg isolated from the vegetation around. Focusing on levitating something as heavy as a pony while bandaging my leg wasn’t an easy task, but thankfully for Cherry, I managed.

Of course, there was always the risk that this plant had some kind of poison or venom on its… leaves? Spines? I had a few vials of antitoxin, but would that even work on whatever this thing was? As usual, safe was better than sorry, and I levitated out the bottle and drank its bitter contents.

I nodded to Gloria, and we continued on our way. At first, I couldn’t help but worry that such a small cut stung this much. Soon enough, though, I completely tuned out about the pain as I trotted on towards the pre-war research facility. My leg didn’t feel numb, and the pain was still there, just mild enough to remain annoying.

Twenty minutes later, we arrived at our destination. It only came into view when we were about fifteen metres away from it. The reason for that was that the vegetation closer to the building was even denser than before. Vines blocked our passage, and trees were numerous enough to make our lives even harder.

So much, in fact, that we’d slowed down to a crawl while I ripped away the vines from a safe distance. Seriously, what in the starless hells was this place?

Thankfully, the concrete entrance to the lab was relatively free of plants, and I could just barely make out the large sign that read “Moonlight Research”. However, the building’s walls were almost entirely covered in vines. The red accents all over them made them look particularly creepy.

Gloria landed in the entranceway, and I levitated Cherry—who was very happy to finally be on firm ground again—over before finally hobbling over there myself.

The glass door was broken off its hinges, and I was thankf—

Wait, when had I started to hobble? I tried putting most of my weight on my back right leg, only to bite my lip as a wave of fiery pain shot out from it. That definitely wasn’t good. That plant had to have some kind of toxin on it.

“You alright there?” asked Cherry.

“Sweet fucking Nightmare above, my back leg’s on fire. Feels like it’s been shot with a fifty-cal.” Exaggerating a little wouldn’t hurt. “It musta been that star-damned plant.” Now that I was no longer pressing down on the hard floor, the pain was subsiding, little by little, though far from enough for my liking. “Fuck me, this hurts.” I grunted and bit my lip. “I was fine a second ago, shit’s musta gotten to a muscle or something.”

Frankly, I had no idea what I was saying. I was just trying to distract myself from the hellish agony in my leg. Finally, I decided to take off the bandage… only to find it soaked in blood. Almost instinctively, I detached my medical pouch and opened it next to myself as I lay down on my left side, keeping my aching leg in the air with my telekinesis.

Unwrapping the bandage as fast as I could, my entire world stopped for a moment when I saw what lay underneath. Jagged crystals poked out of my calf, spreading up until about halfway to my knee, and almost all the way down to my hoof.

My skin was completely shredded, and I just knew this wasn’t simple surface damage. Those spires were much too thick at the base for that.

I sat there and stared for stars knew how long, Cherry’s concerned voice barely registering. “Iron? What’s wrong?” Then, he must have moved closer, as he suddenly screamed in horror before quickly being shut up by Gloria.

That, however, was enough to snap me out of my horrified daze. I levitated out two syringes of Med-X, emptying one into my leg. I hesitated briefly about using the second one, but when I saw another crystal spike slowly pierce my flesh, I realised I would really need it.

I took a deep breath, trying my best to calm down. This thing was growing inside of me, and my only option seemed to be to remove it. This was going to suck.

“Ch-Cherry, can you please get me something to rest my leg on? I’m gonna need all my focus. Whatever you do though, don’t touch the crystal bullshit.”

“You… don’t need to tell me that twice.”

I waited there for a few agonising moments, time seemingly stretching to infinite amounts, before he eventually came back, carrying a rusted metal chair on his back. He placed it in front of me, and I let the side of my leg rest on it.

Now that I no longer needed to focus on keeping it afloat, I went to work. First, I tried snapping one of the branches off. It took more effort than expected, but was still feasible, at least with my skill with telekinesis.

I started breaking off straight pieces of crystal and pulling them out, more and more glad for the Med-X coursing through my body with every spike I yanked out. What worried me was that I occasionally ripped out a more jagged piece, large chunks of flesh still attached to it. I was in too much of a hurry to check each and every bit of the foreign body before pulling. I could feel it growing inside of me. I needed it out!

The razor-sharp needles were deep in my flesh, so much that I was starting to worry I would never manage to get rid of all of them. And yet, I kept working, unwilling to die like this.

However, the more I removed, the more it hurt, and the more force I had to apply to remove some shards. My leg was in tatters, I was sure I could see the occasional bit of bone, and I didn’t understand how I was able to think at all. Even with the Med-X, the pain should have been debilitating. I heard a gunshot, but through my concentration it was so distant.

Eventually, the shards started getting rarer, and I had to dig around with my magic in the shreds of my leg to find more. I poured an enormous amount of energy into my telekinesis, making sure I could feel every single square centimetre it contacted.

As I dug around, I saw large areas of exposed bone among the torn flesh. I searched for stars knew how long, desperate to make sure nothing of this vile stuff was left. Finally, it seemed I’d gotten them all.

On the ground, a large, red pool had formed. Realising just how much blood I’d lost, I finally floated the healing potion to my lips, long-term consequences be damned. My vision was swimming and darkening by the second. I was cold.

Somewhere far away, somepony called my name. My heart was beating faster than it ever had, every thump echoing in my ears like a manic drum. The healing potion fought its way back up, and I didn’t have the strength to stop it. Then, nothing.

Chapter 21.2 — …and future

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 22 — No choice

No choice

My entire body hurt. Every single muscle in my body was sore like I’d severely overexerted myself. Just turning onto my side made my legs, chest, and neck flare up in agony. So much so, in fact, that I opted to remain lying on my back. Just what in Celestia’s name had I done?

Nothing was coming to mind, so I had to dig a bit deeper. Usually, flying very long distances left my wings about as sore… but this was my entire body. Maybe I’d gotten carried away exercising? No, I never exercised. Rough sex? No, I’d remember that. Unless I was drunk? But I didn’t remember drinking, either.

My mind was about to start panicking and looking for scarier explanations when a flash of insight ran through my mind. The storm!

But wait, that still wouldn’t explain why even my sides were sore. There had been a very bright flash when I’d gone to bed, though. Or had I dreamed that up?

Hmm… I’d been flying back from Aqua Pura when the storm hit. The mid-western wasteland was known for its capricious weather and all, so it didn’t exactly catch me off guard. But it had forced me to settle down for a night.

Finally, I worked up the motivation to open my eyes… only to find myself in a room too dark to see. Whatever, back to sleep I went.

Bright light flooding into the room and the sound of a door opening woke me up. Even through my sore state, I rolled out of bed immediately… only to find out I’d been lying on just a mattress and not an actual bed.

As my eyes adjusted to the brightness, I noticed that I was behind a set of iron bars. A pony with an uneven gait was walking down the stairs on the other side of the bars, levitating something in his or her magic.

A few more steps forward and she properly came into view. As she continued to limp downstairs, I recognised what she was carrying as a wooden bowl. A few more steps, and I was able to make out her features. She was wearing a cloak and a long, black shawl covering her head, with only a horn sticking out. Her coat was a dull, dark grey.

“What’s going on?” I asked. “Who are you?”

The mare looked at me with sad eyes, one of which was a milky white. Her face was covered in a few scars, the most notable of which ran across her blind eye.

Without replying, she floated the bowl through a horizontal hole in the cell’s bars.

“Hello? I’m talking to you?” Being obnoxious was probably not the right way to handle situations like this, but it sure as shit was the Snowfeather way.

“I’m the mare who captured you and will sell you off into slavery. That’s all you need to know,” she replied in a flat tone.

“Wuh wuh wuh, wait. What? You can’t enslave me, I’m a pegasus, we don’t do well in a cage. Think about what you’re doing here!” Was I really willing to make this much of an idiot out of myself? Yeah. Yeah, I was.

Nonplussed, she sighed. “Yeah, I’m sure other ponies handle it so much better than you.”

With that, she turned tail and no amount of my whining got her to look at me again. When she shut the trapdoor, I was in the dark once more. At least the food wasn’t terrible. Was some kind of vegetable stew. Pretty sure it had tomatoes in it.

Time passed slowly in this cell. I managed to sleep some more, but it was hard to tell exactly how much. Eventually, the trapdoor to the cellar opened again, revealing the same mare as yesterday. Or was it still today and this was my evening meal? Maybe it was her twin, too. No, they’d need to have the same scar. Wait, was her scar on the right side? Yeah, probably.

“Hey,” I greeted, but she didn’t respond. “Can I ask you where we are?”

She let out a big sigh. “About twenty kilometres south of Aqua Pura.”

Hmm… that was about how far I'd flown. Had she caught me while I was asleep? No, I doubted she would have been able to move me without waking me up. Maybe I was suffering from some kind of amnesia?

"How did you get me in here?" I asked, but the mare had absolutely no desire to stick around any longer than absolutely necessary and was already halfway through the door when I finished my sentence. As expected, she didn't bother replying.

When she entered the room again, about another day later, I was ready. "How did you catch me and lock me up?"

Walking down the stairs, she seemed to think for a moment. "Room you tried to sleep in was trapped. Some sort of taser talisman a friend helped me build. Knocked you out cold."

"Ah, that makes sense." And I had more questions prepared, because I was smart and didn't want to waste my one daily opportunity to get answers. "By the way, you don't exactly strike me as someone who loves her job, so how did you end up doing it?"

"And you don't exactly strike me as a smart pony. Why do you keep chatting me up? Nothing you can say can change your fate, so why do you keep talking to me like I'm a stranger at the pub and not the mare holding the key to your cell?"

I wasn't expecting her to engage in actual conversation, but I was not about to let that opportunity go to waste. I just shrugged. "Dunno, pouting in a cell doesn't feel like a very me thing to do. I'm dying of boredom here, and preparing my next set of questions for you keeps me occupied."

She gave a mild chuckle. "You're a schizo, you know that?"

"Been told so many times." I practically chirped the line.

"Well, I'll give you an answer to keep you occupied, alright." She paused for a second before giving me a mirthless smile. "It's to survive." With that, she left me alone once again.

I had other questions for her, but I started with the ones that were more immediately on my mind. “How long have I been here?”

“Been visiting you once a day, so four days.”

“How long am I gonna stay here?”

“The slavers come by once a month, next time they’ll be here should be in two, two and a half weeks.”

“So you said you just want to survive, but aren’t there any less, you know, evil ways to get by? Not that I’m calling you evil, since I don’t have the full picture and all that.”

She used one hoof to gesture to the other three legs. “You seen the way I walk? Yeah, I could get by scavenging, but I’d be dead within a year or two.”

“Maybe it would be worth it for a clean conscience?”

She let out an annoyed sigh, rolling her eyes. “I told you, nothing you can say will change my mind. I have something more important than a clean conscience.”

I wasn’t even looking at her when she came in, knowing the effort wasn’t worth it.

“Aren’t you worried that one day, your lifestyle will catch up with you, and you’ll end up dead because of it? Not everypony looks kindly upon slavers, you know.” I really hoped it didn’t come across as a threat. It wasn’t; I had no way of acting on it. But maybe she’d interpret it as one.

She shrugged. “I can only hope it happens when my daughter is able to fend for herself.”

“You have a daughter? How old is she?”

“About a year old, which is around how long I’ve been doing this.” Unexpectedly candid answer.

When the trapdoor opened again, it was much darker than usual outside. Then again, it was probably another stormy day; I felt it in my wing bones, through my pegasense.

“So, what’s your name?” I wanted to ask about her foal first, but at some point I’d realised I didn’t even know her own. No reply came, and she remained on top of the staircase. I asked another question. “Fine then, what about your daughter?”

“Ah don’t even know if my foal will be a filly or a colt, Snow,” replied Platinum in a confused half-whisper.

“Plat!” I shouted before realising my mistake and lowering my volume. “Oops, got excited.” I giggled. “You came to save me! I was worried, and—

I cut myself off, realising that I’d gotten carried away. “That was actually five minutes ago, and you were there. Anyway, that’s how I ended up here.”

He rolled his eyes, and his look told me to continue.

“Well, now you know what happened. Are you gonna steal the key from her? Or did you learn to pick locks in the six years we didn’t see each other?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think I would manage that; never been the sneaky kind. I could take the risk and try to kill her, but if she gets me first, Candy won’t find you in time. ‘Fraid I’m just gonna have to get Candy to come here, and then it’ll be two against one. I really don’t like putting her into danger now that she’s carryin’ my kid, but it’s just too risky for me to try anything alone.”

I was disappointed to hear that. This place really wasn’t nice to stay in. Not in the slightest. But at the same time, I couldn’t blame him. I sighed. “I guess I’ll be fine a little bit longer, do you know how long till you can free me?”

“I’d say two or three days; depends on the weather and how fast Candy can travel.”

The three days had passed like the four before had: very slowly. I was bored out of my fucking mind. So, naturally, whenever the trapdoor opened, I pestered my captor with more questions. Today, by the look on her face, she seemed to be in a good mood.

“What about the father of your filly, can’t he help you make ends meet?” That was probably a sore topic, but I was curious.

She snorted. “Hah, as if.”

I was kind of expecting that answer, but I still pressed on. “Why not? What kind of pony is he?”

She shrugged before sitting down. “Fuck if I know.” I chuckled. “Some scumfuck slaver, though, that’s for sure.” When I realised she was serious, I felt bad for laughing.

I kinda felt bad for her, despite the situation. “You… used to be a slave?”

She let out another dry laugh. “Yeah, shocked?”

I nodded. “Kind of sad to hear, really. I wouldn’t wish slavery onto anypony. How did you escape?”

“I didn’t.” She smiled. It was a cocky smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Those remained as sad as ever. “Friend bought me out, the same one who gave me that talisman.”

I was out of things to say, and that brief pause was enough for her to decide she’d had enough. She turned to leave, but as she opened the trapdoor to the cellar, I saw her stagger back. "D-don't shoot!"

"Don't do anything rash, and I won't," replied Candy Cane. "I think somepony we know is down there. Care to let us in?"

My captor nodded and tried to step out of the way. However, I heard Plat stop her. "Do not think you are getting away. Go down the stairs."

The mare tried to beg for her life, but it came out as incoherent rambling. She took a few steps downwards, and Candy finally stepped into view.

When her eyes met mine, she asked the stranger, "Care to explain why you've locked up my sister-in-law?"

"I-I'm sorry, please don't kill me! I have a daughter!" Her tone was so vastly different from how she spoke to me that I might not have recognised her.

“Again, I won’t, as long as you don’t give me a reason to.” Candy lowered her shotgun and sighed. "Give me the key." When the mare complied, Candy added, “Thank you. But you and I are not done, wait over there.” She pointed to the corner of the room.

Candy’s horn glowed as she opened my cell door. I gladly left it and smiled at her. “Thanks, sis.”

She rolled her eyes. “You still don’t need to call me that, Snow.”

“But I wanna! It’s just fun.”

I heard her groan at my antics, but our little moment was abruptly ended by a gunshot. It sent me to the ground clutching my ears. When I opened my eyes again, I could see Candy staring at my captor’s corpse, while Platinum held a pistol in his muzzle. My ears were ringing louder than they had any right to.

Candy must have mumbled something, as Platinum tilted his head, then shook it. I couldn’t hear him, but I was rather certain he said, “Can you repeat that?”

She remained quiet for a moment, apparently trying to fully grasp the situation, visibly upset. “What the hell did you do that for?” I agreed, my poor ears really hurt. “She wasn’t a threat!”

He sighed. “Maybe not right now, but she was a slaver. How many ponies do you think she sold out like that? How many ponies was she going to sell out after we left? Or did you think she was going to stop just because you asked her to?”

Her shock turned to anger. “You didn’t have to kill her! We would have found a way!”

“Like what? Dragging her with us and forcing her to be better? Just because it worked on one bandit does not mean everypony you meet will want to redeem themselves.” His tone was calm, but I could tell he was holding back. He never talked this formally to Candy.

“Why not at least try? We can’t go around killing everypony in the wasteland who’s done one fucked up thing or another, you know?”

“And then what? We hold her at gunpoint, and if she does not redeem herself, we kill her? Do you really believe that this is a good incentive?”

While he talked, Candy’s anger seemed to deflate with every word he uttered. “I…”

“Look, dear, I wish we could fix the wasteland by being nice to everypony. I understand why you are upset. However, this is the unfortunate reality we live in. We cannot.”

“I know… but I can’t help but think that maybe there was something we could have done. Maybe she was just a decent pony in a bad spot. You didn’t have to kill her…”

Again he shook his head. “What makes you think that? Just because she was unhappy does not mean she was innocent. She was the one who chose to sell ponies into slavery, and she was the one who got the consequences for her actions. From what Snow told me, she never even tried to get by without resorting to… this.”

There was a short moment, during which neither of us said anything. Frankly, I still wanted to give him an earful for firing a gun indoors, but I knew now wasn’t the time. Finally, the silence was broken by Platinum slipping back to his more familiar tone. “I knew you wouldn’t like this, and I knew the choice would be hard for you. But it really didn’t have to be your choice to make. Frankly, I would have tried to kill her regardless, because damn it, letting a slaver roam free is just not okay with me.”

Candy seemed to search for some kind of rebuttal. Evidently, none came as she let out a sharp breath. “Fine. I still don’t like any of this, but I guess you solved this whole dilemma before it even started.” The words were bitter, and she looked downtrodden. “I just wish it wasn’t so difficult to make the right choice. The rational part of me knows killing her was the smart option, foal or not, but I just can’t justify it to myself.”

He trotted up to her and wrapped her in his wings. “That’s because you’re just such a good pony. I’m not saying I’m bad for doing this. It’s just that you care about everypony, try to understand every side. It’s this beautiful idealism that I love about you.”

“I’ve heard that too many times, Plat. I just wish I could always make the right choice. I know there are no right choices sometimes, but it still hurts. I wish I could go and fix all of… this. Get rid of the root cause. But I can’t.” I saw her lean into the embrace. “All I can hope to do is the little things, and now we’re left wondering what we’re going to do with her foal, because we can’t just let her starve.”

Platinum nodded. “That we can’t. We should probably take her with us and find her new home.”

An idea crossed my mind. And in true Snowfeather fashion, I did not think twice before vocalising it. “I could take care of her. That way, you guys’ kid could have a playmate. And I’ve always wanted a kid eventually.” They both stared at me with their ‘We don’t have time for your jokes, Snow’ look. “What? I’m serious!”

I was gorging myself on a can of beans. Who knew how good food could taste when you’d only had one meal per day for a week or so?

I looked up to find Candy looking at me in amusement. Platinum had gone to bed, but I was still hungry and not sleepy at all, while she was to take tonight’s first watch. The filly was asleep in my tent. I’d need to find a name for her soon.

When our eyes met, she let out a giggle. “You have the silliest look on your face, Snow.”

We shared a laugh, but I didn’t bother responding, too hungry still.

After a while, she continued her attempt at a discussion. “By the way, when I saw you in that cage, something crossed my mind…”

She pointed at my flank, at the single feather adorning it. “Your cutie mark, it’s about freedom, isn’t it? I used to think it was something more literal, like your brother.” Platinum’s special talent was fancy calligraphy, and he often helped ponies who couldn’t write. “Maybe it was related to flight, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.”

I let out an exaggerated offended huff. “Hey, you calling me a bad flyer?”

She just rolled her eyes and smiled, shaking her head. “I’m just asking because it must have been really rough on you, and yet you’re here, making silly faces while you eat beans.”

“Oh, that’s because my cutie mark isn’t about freedom, at least not in the literal sense. It’s more about freedom of the mind.” I finished the can. “Like, my ability to just… not give a fuck and live my life like I want to, despite the wasteland being, you know, the wasteland.”

She seemed surprised for a second before frowning. “I almost wish I could do that. I feel guilty over anything that feels remotely selfish. Like living a slower life and starting a family, instead of risking my life helping other ponies.”

“Then why did you stop? What’s the point of living if you’re not doing it for yourself?” Maybe I was a bit biased, but I didn’t understand why she would do that.

“That’s the thing… I thought I wanted this. I still do, really.” She paused for a bit, looking over to the tent where her betrothed was sleeping. “Platinum… When my best friend left me, I was kind of lost. I turned to Platinum, and everything was just so… perfect. Now, though? It’s been almost a year, and I’m starting to feel like it was just a short break, an escape from what I’m really meant to be doing.”

I just shrugged. “Then why not go back to that life?” She would try to find excuses for why she couldn’t, but hopefully it would get through to her. If it didn’t, well, not my problem.

“I have other responsibilities now, Snow. I can’t just risk my life every now and again just for my own sense of guilt. On the one hoof, it’s not just my life anymore, and on the other, I’d hate to do this to Plat.”

But of course, she wasn’t like me. I didn’t want to leave her hanging, so I gave it some thought. However, nothing came to mind, and we ended up sitting in awkward silence for Celestia knew how long.

Author's Note

Another chapter with a small detail that I am rather proud of.

Chapter 23 — Recovery

Recovery

I was awake.

…Why was I awake?

Oh right, probably those fuckers over there, practically shouting.

A buck was speaking, way too loud, “I’m telling you, she’s not the pony you think she is.”

“Yeah, of course you’d say that. You’re her little pet, after all,” chided a mare. Her voice grated on my nerves like it was the whole purpose of her entire existence.

Another stallion let out a dry, sarcastic laugh. “Notice the shift in attitude. They both leave for almost three weeks, and suddenly he stands up for her. Got a taste for that slaver pussy, little buck?”

Three or four ponies laughed at him while he snapped back, “Fuck off, you know damn well she’s not a slaver!” He must have noticed his mistake as he added, “And no, we’re not like that, I just realised there’s a pony beneath that gruff attitude.”

I opened my eyes with a groan. Couldn’t they play somewhere else? On the other side of the dimly lit warehouse, I could see that red buck, Guard Dog’s assistant. What was his name again, Strawberry? He was facing off against four slaves, with more ponies watching the confrontation from further away.

“Aww, isn’t that cute? He fell in love with his master.” More laughter from the slaves around. I started heading for the crowd.

“She’s not my master.” If he was angry before, he was utterly furious now. He paused for a moment, then calmed down a little, his tone turning cold and mocking. “Then again, you probably only see the world as masters and slaves, don’t you? How long have you been captive; a couple of years? That’s usually how long it takes before your sense of self completely erodes.”

“Oh, you think you can talk shit to me?” The earth pony mare towered over him. Even in the dim light, I could recognise her cream coat, though her name escaped me. Her cronies moved forward and formed a half-circle around the buck, who retreated backwards towards the wall. She let out a guttural laugh. “Look how scared he is. Weren’t you oh so proudly puffing out your chest just a second ago? Not so brave without your master around, are you?”

“Way I see it, you’re the cowards. You talk about her from afar, make up what you think she is, but are too chickenshit to say it to her face.” He spat the words with enough venom to make me worried for his self-preservation instinct. “It’s almost as if you knew you’re just a weak, pathetic excuse for a mare. I’ve seen bucks with more courage than you, you know?”

The large mare took another step forward, and he flinched. She raised a hoof, but by then I’d made my way to the front. Chains clanking, I shoved one of the slaves surrounding him to the side, hard enough for her head to hit the wall with an uncomfortable thud.

All eyes were on me, and I met the cream mare’s, who suddenly seemed to shrink. “I’m trying to fucking sleep, so if you retards want to play at middle school bullies, do it sometime the fuck else.” I wasn’t quite shouting yet, just speaking with a tone that would hopefully make my message clear. In the crowd behind me, I heard mutters of agreement.

On the cream mare, though, it had the desired effect. For all her earlier bravado, shrank back completely. “S-stay out of this, it doesn’t concern you!”

I turned my head to the side, feigning confusion and softening my tone. “It doesn’t?” She seemed to relax a little. “Then would you mind explaining something to me?” Her entire body tensed up.

“Whose fault is it that I’m awake this late at night‽” This time, I was screaming right into her face.

The effect was immediate. She hurriedly took a few steps backwards before falling on her rump and hastily scrambling up and cantering away.

I let out a satisfied grunt and started moving back towards my mattress. Shitty as it was, it was still comfier than anything I’d slept on in Fillydelphia. Before I could completely leave, I heard Cherry—right, that was his name—speak up. “Uh, thanks.”

I turned around and looked him in the eye. He gulped. “What exactly makes you believe I did this for you?”

He didn’t reply, unable to meet my gaze.

“Thought so.”

In reality, I had done it for him, at least in part. I just couldn’t bear to see a buck with balls bigger than he could handle get hurt because of it. Bravery of the weak was admirable, if very stupid.

I arrived at the slave residence. Everyone had already been taken to their jobs, with only the injured allowed to remain. Well, there was one exception to that; Cherry, being my assistant, didn’t work the same shifts as everypony else.

He looked tired and anxious, but his face lit up when he spotted me. “Hey, Iron, glad you’re finally here. I was getting bored.”

Looked like more than boredom to me. “Didn’t sleep well?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I don’t know why.” He brushed one of the darker strands of his mane out of his face. “I’ll be fine, though, don’t worry.”

Well, that was that. “Alright, then. Let’s get going.”

We left the old hangar and started heading towards the construction site. After just a few minutes, Cherry spoke up, “Are you sure it’s a good idea to use your magic this soon after burning out? Didn’t you say you were worried you’d lost it permanently?”

“Two weeks isn’t all that short of a time period.” The rest of my body had healed spectacularly fast—with the exception of my hind leg, which was still much too thin. Meanwhile, I’d needed a week to start feeling any sort of magic again, and during that time I was actually worried I wouldn’t ever be able to cast a spell. “Now I’m starting to feel it again, and have been practising quite a bit. It’s just that I’m going to need a lot more practice, since it’s like a muscle.”

It was a slow process, and not even radiation seemed to have helped much in rebuilding the tissue I’d burnt out. Regularly using my magic, though, did seem to help. Besides, it felt like I was doing something of my own accord, rather than being ordered to. Making such a simple choice felt significant, for some reason.

“Alright, I’ll take your word for it. You’re the unicorn, after all.” He still sounded a little unconvinced.

“That’s not to say I’m not sore as all hell.” For a short moment, I massaged the base of my horn like one would a tired muscle. “A few days ago, anything heavier than a rifle round hurt like a bitch to lift, but I pushed on regardless. I’m still far from my peak, or even average unicorn strength, for that matter, so I need to continue.” I looked at him. “Now, what I wonder about is why you wanted to do this stuff with me.”

“Just for the company, really.” Cherry shrugged. “It’s way too boring to just sit around and not do anything.” He rolled his eyes and let out a short sigh. “Even the books you gave me don’t help. I don’t hate reading, but I can’t do it more than a few hours a day or it just becomes another chore.” Another shrug. “With you at least time goes by somewhat fast.”

Before I could reply, he continued, “Speaking of which… Do you think you would be able to get me to stay at your quarters? For similar reasons; I just haven’t been getting along with the others, so it’s just boring.”

“Probably, I’ll see what I can do.” I really wouldn’t mind having him around more often; I was so used to his presence that I didn’t feel like I was losing anything. Plus, he was a nice conversation partner, and not just when I was drunk or opening up about one of the dozen sources of trauma that had affected my life.

I was sitting at the table of my own quarters, attempting to repair my PipBuck. I roughly understood which parts had failed and which ones still had a chance of working. Some components were easy to replace, while others seemed to be unique talismans that were only found in PipBucks.

Repairing electronics really wasn’t my forte. In fact, I knew next to nothing about it; only the PipBuck’s self-diagnostic tool gave me any sort of insight. Despite the creator’s best efforts to make it as useless as possible. If it didn’t have moving parts, it was outside my domain. However, I did have an edge here: the precision of my magic. After all, talismans and spell matrices were just arcane patterns etched into crystal. By powering them with my own horn, I could get a good feeling for how they functioned. In fact, I was able to use my inscription spell to create any kind of talisman, as long as I knew the pattern.

…In theory at least. In practice, the spells were so complex that I had a rough time figuring out what they did. So many parallel paths opened whenever I poured even the slightest amount of power into it that it was incredibly difficult to keep track of even just one.

So, I’d been spending evenings scanning my PipBuck’s spell matrices, looking for flaws. I wasn’t analysing them in detail, only pushing magic through the talisman and seeing where the flow didn’t seem right. Then I would go on to etch the pattern into a blank crystal around the same size. The process was slow, tiresome, and required a lot of concentration. If what I did during the day helped me rebuild my horn’s raw strength, this helped me rebuild its fine touch. However, it would be a lie to say it was enjoyable work.

I stretched, feeling my neck and back pop in various places and the chair creak below me. Behind, I heard Cherry groan. The SATS talisman in particular was rough. The spell was just so complex that the global overview wasn’t enough to find what was wrong with it. I had some luck focusing on individual sub-circuits inside the talisman, but I still couldn't find anything that looked out of place.

And yet, it clearly didn’t work properly, and I simply could not find out why. I was only hoping I would eventually find the defect as I went over the pattern in its most minute details. EFS seemed a bit simpler, but it would still take me ages to fully figure out.

When I hunched back over the two talismans, Cherry mumbled, “Could you go to bed already? It’s getting late, and I’m tryna sleep.”

“Oh sorry, I didn’t really see the time pass.” That was only a half-truth. I’d noticed the time multiple times, but chose to stay up. I really wanted to get it fixed before our trip up Foal Mountain, and if it meant dealing with a little sleep deprivation for the next few weeks, that was a worthwhile trade-off.

I hadn’t realised how SATS-dependant my fighting style was until I couldn’t use it anymore. I’d been aware it was a big part of it, but I felt downright vulnerable without it. Then again, my lack of magic was definitely playing into that as well, so maybe it wouldn’t be nearly as bad.

I sat still for a while, hoping Cherry would fall back asleep. However, after maybe a minute, he mumbled, “Then what are you waiting for?”

Something about how tired he sounded tugged at my heart. Maybe I should go to sleep a bit earlier tonight; I wasn’t making much progress anyway.

I got off the chair and trotted to the other mattress in the room. Once I lay down, I fell asleep faster than usual.

I put away Cherry’s twin shotguns into my bags. While Star Seeds’ bodyguards had long since accepted that I was to be armed whenever I damn pleased, there simply was no way they would let Cherry back into town with those two. I trusted him not to shoot me in the back, but that didn’t mean Star Seeds or his mercenaries did as well. Probably with good reason, too.

However, I did manage to convince Seeds to spare two Ironshod IF-9 shotguns for Cherry. While I personally wasn’t too fond of Ironshod firearms due to reliability issues, they were really more than good enough for most ponies. Especially if you had two of them on your battlesaddle; even if one were to jam, the other one could still fire.

While I didn’t really like to involve him in combat, it was always better for him to at least have the option to defend himself.

I’d also grown to really appreciate having him around. Since Moonlight Research, he’d actually become a good friend to me, and I didn’t want to lose him. In fact, I’d come to make a decision.

As we picked up our pace towards town, I spoke up, “You know, I’ve been thinking.”

Cherry perked up. “Hmm?”

“Something I didn’t tell you was that Seeds actually plans to set me free somewhat soon, depending on how my next few jobs go.”

His eyes lit up. “Wait, really? That’s great news!” Though as soon as the words left his muzzle, he deflated. “I don’t suppose his offer extends to me, does it?”

I shook my head and took a sharp breath in. “No,” I replied flatly, purposely leaving him a brief moment for disappointment. “But mine does.”

“Huh?” His look of confusion nearly made me burst out laughing. Somehow, our friendship had relaxed further, to the point of even me cracking jokes.

Instead, I looked him in the eyes and smirked. “I have a bunch of caps stashed away nearby. Not a huge amount, just something to fall back on in case anything were to happen.” I let my smile turn to a grin. “But it’s enough to buy your contract. Once I’m free, that is.”

His eyes widened, and his jaw dropped.

He didn’t say anything, so I continued, “Since I don’t want you as my slave, I’d just buy your contract and let you be on your way. However, that would probably just lead to your death, so I’d rather accompany you somewhere safe first, if you’re alright with it.”

His entire face lit up. “For real? I-I…wow. I… shit. I… f-fuck. I just… I really don’t know what to say. That would be amazing. I don’t know how I would repay you for that.”

I chuckled. “Could always just pay me back the caps I spent on you.”

“Oh yeah, I guess that would be f—”

I cut him off. “I’m just kidding. I think that you helped me enough that it’s only fair you would get your share of freedom. I may be selfish, but even I can recognise how much you’ve done for me. Fuck, I’d be dead without you.”

Cherry’s smile became sheepish. “O-oh. Yeah, haha.” He turned back to look at the snowy path in front of us, furrowing his brow. “Though I gotta say, I’m not sure where I would even want to go. Last time I saw my family was over six years ago, and I doubt I’ll find them where I last saw them.”

“I’d offer to help you look for them, but that would take a long while, and I doubt you want me to stick around for that long.” I had to admit, I’d said that in the vague hope he would contradict me. As much as I’d grown to like him, I was ultimately still a bandit to him. He was only friends with me since I was all he had; he’d said so himself. Once he found somepony less savage, he’d ditch me.

“Honestly? It would depend on what kind of life you would wanna live. I wouldn’t be down to risking my life every month, but other than that… I think I would like to travel with you for even a longer while. Like I said, you’re kind of all I have right now.”

I felt a weight lift off my heart, only to fall straight into my stomach. For as much as I was relieved he still wanted to stay with me for now, he’d all but confirmed we wouldn’t remain friends once he found his family.

A few moments passed, and it was Cherry who broke the silence, “Though I wonder, what about your friends? I don’t remember their names off the top of my head, but I know that they are the sole reason Seeds has any sort of sway over you. Are you sure they would be okay with wandering the Wasteland looking for somepony else’s family?”

The weight that had dropped into my stomach seemed to triple in mass. I gulped. “I…” Unable to get myself to say it, I looked at the ground and sped up my gait.

Cherry hurried up. “What’s wrong?”

I wasn’t afraid of him judging me, but admitting it out loud felt like a step I wouldn’t be able to take back. I’d thought about it for a long time, but simply hadn’t come to terms with it.

I took in a deep breath as I gathered my courage. “I don’t think I want to meet them.” Immediately after confessing that, I felt lighter as my eyes started to water.

Now that I’d started, the words came to me much easier. “You know what I had to do for them. I don’t think I would be able to look them in the eye after that. Not only did I get them hurt and enslaved, I then slaughtered and enslaved innocents just for them. I feel like I genuinely don’t deserve them after that.” I stopped dead in my tracks, tears flowing freely, icy cold in the glacial wind.

Cherry came to a halt a few steps ahead and turned to look at me. “I…” He paused before sighing. “Yeah, I don’t know what to say to that. I understand why you feel this way, and I wish I could say it’ll be alright because they’ll accept you no matter what. But the truth of the matter is that you’ve really done some horrible things. I’m not sure I would have been able to forgive you, had we not been stuck together.”

I slowly nodded. “And then there’s the fact that they might feel guilty… I don’t want them to go through that.” I sniffed. “I’ll just… send them a note saying I need to do something first, and that one day I’ll be back, but that they shouldn’t wait for me. With some luck, I might be able to eventually make true on that promise.” The words leaving my mouth were bitter, and I knew they weren’t true. I knew I wouldn’t ever gather the courage to face them.

Cherry took a step forward. “I really can’t blame you.” He put his right hoof on my withers. “I don’t know what I would do if I was you, and I really can’t tell you what to do. But if you need to talk about it, I’m here for you.”

I felt myself relax just the tiniest amount. “Thanks, Cherry. That helps a little.”

For almost ten minutes, we trotted on in complete silence. I lit a cigarette, then another, and gradually calmed down, but there was now another thought on my mind.

“The more I think about it, the more I realise that I don’t even know what I would want to do with my freedom. Looking for your family will give me something to do, at the very least, but I really don’t know what will come after.” As I said it, I found myself wishing he would promise we would stick together. Silly as it was, I didn’t have anywhere else to go.

“Really? That’s surprising, from what you’ve told me.” He paused for a short few seconds. “Then again, I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised given what you said about your friends. You feel like you’ve nowhere left to go, right?”

“Exactly.” That caught me by surprise. “I tried travelling with them for a few months, and I felt nice and at ease. It felt like I was maybe going to finally find where I belong. Now that that’s off the table, I just don’t know what I’ll do.” I kicked a small rock down the slope and watched it tumble for a few metres before stopping in the snow. “I guess living such a calm life just isn’t for a mare like me.”

“What? Why wouldn’t it be? Didn’t you say you enjoyed it?”

“It’s not about what I enjoy.” I sighed. “My past will always do its best to try and catch me, and my true nature will always shine through. I will inevitably stumble upon someone who knows me, which in turn will get my friends hurt. What’s the point of getting close to someone if my presence is just going to get them killed?”

I saw him turn towards me. “Isn’t that a bit pessimistic?” he asked, perplexed.

"Is it really? Even if the odds aren't as high as I think, I still wouldn't want to risk my friends getting hurt because of me." Another reason why I couldn't continue with Cherry for too long after we left New Detrot.

He shrugged. “Then why don't you go back to being a mercenary or a raider? They won't mind your past.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You’re saying I should go back to killing innocents just for my own profit? That’s the opposite of what I want.”

“Well, you didn’t see anything wrong with it prior.” He shrugged again. “Don’t blame me for not understanding that mindset.”

“That’s because I didn’t understand it was wrong, Cherry,” I hissed far too sharply than I meant to, causing him to tense up and take a few steps away from me. “Sorry, that came off harsher than I intended.”

“It’s fine.” He relaxed a little. “But how can you not understand that murder is wrong? You’ve said it before, but I just don’t get it.”

“It just did not click for me as a filly. Candy told me, but I thought it was one of those grown-up things that I didn’t have to care about, like not eating too many sweets. I just… never put thought into it. It wasn’t until long after Candy’s death that I started putting two and two together.” I sighed and looked Cherry in the eye. “Now I think back and wonder just how I could be so cruel, how I could fail to realise any of that.”

He hummed in thought. “Maybe this is a bit out of the blue, but why don’t you try righting some wrongs? Using your experience as a mercenary for good, stuff like that. You could spend a few years making up for what you did as a filly.”

I sighed. I’d dreaded that question and line of thinking. “I… I don’t know if I can. It sounds so difficult, and I’m not sure I still have the flame needed.”

“The what?"

I winced when I realised that my mouth had gotten ahead of my thoughts. “I'm not sure if I want to keep fighting and killing, even for good. It's why I joined up with my friends in the first place.” I sighed and paused for a moment to gather my thoughts. “The thrill of combat just wasn't there anymore, not when I realised I was killing other ponies.”

Cherry nodded solemnly. “I can't say I blame you. I don’t much like fighting, either”. He narrowed his eyes. “Is that the flame you were talking about?”

I nodded. “I guess I said it in a bit of a weird way. I need to stop reading as much. A better way to put it would be that it was my drive to survive at any cost. The sort of primal rage that you’ll hear so many raiders talk about.” I stomped with both hooves on a small pile of snow that had fallen off a roof. “In battle, I would get so furious that all I could think about was hurting or killing whoever had pissed me off. Pain, exhaustion, and injury would become unimportant as I just strived to kill and destroy.”

I sighed, looking at my hooves. “That’s been gone for a while; back in Moonlight, I was ready to let myself die.” I pawed at the ground with my right forehoof. “I think it’s all caused me to lose my love for battle. It’s hard to get mad at someone when they’re only shooting you in self-defence, and it’s hard to push on when you’re not sure if it’s worth it at all.”

Cherry hesitated for a short moment. “My first thought was that you could just direct your anger towards bad ponies, but I guess it’s really not that simple, is it?”

I slowly shook my head. “I’m not a hero, and I don’t want to be. I just don’t want to be a villain anymore. I’m just tired of fighting.” I felt silly using literature terminology, but in hindsight I had been acting a lot like a fairy tale villain, cartoonishly evil.

“Surely there’s some way you can help others without killing anypony,” Cherry suggested in a reassuring tone.

I shrugged. “Probably, but I’ve yet to find one that would work for somepony like me.” I shook my head in an attempt to lose these thoughts. “But it won’t do me any good to treat it all with a defeatist attitude. I’ll figure it out eventually, but it doesn’t need to be now.”

“Yeah. I guess you’ll just have to cross that bridge when you get to it.” He gave me a neutral smile. “Until then, I’m more than fine with having you help me in my search.”

I nodded, and a thought crossed my mind. Maybe he could help me become a better pony? I looked away, pretending like one of the ruined buildings had caught my attention. I was just buying time, and I knew it. Finally, I sighed before turning back to him. “I’m still learning how to be a decent pony, and I’m so scared of slipping and doing something bad without realising it is bad. Would… would you be okay with helping me make better choices? At least for as long as we’re travelling together.” It was a childish way of putting it, but I didn’t want to give myself an excuse to avoid the question.

“If you’ll accept my advice, yes. Just know I’m not going to fight you to make sure you do the right thing.” He smacked his lips. “Speaking of doing the wrong thing… Do you know what Star Seeds wants us to do next? You mentioned his plans.”

“Yeah. He wants me to find a way into Stable 4. Breaking the stable door open would be impossible with his current resources. The only lead I have is that I know that Arcane Spark had a password that can access the outer terminal. My next guess would be to check out if there is anything important in her cottage on top of Foal Mountain.”

“And if you don’t find anything?”

“Then I’ll keep looking. He specified that it’s the last thing he needs from me. This is the one thing standing between my freedom and I, and I will not let this chance go to waste.” Funny how I have no idea what I’ll do with said freedom, but I still strive for it.

“What about other StableTec employees? Would their passwords work?”

I shook my head. “Maybe, but I somehow doubt it. I have been taking notes on their passwords whenever I broke into a terminal.” And thankfully, that part of my PipBuck still worked. “I think they will work for logging into that machine, I just don’t think they have the necessary privileges to open the door. Fuck, I don’t even know for certain if Arcane’s account can override the lock.

“On the other hoof, there is also a chance I can simply use Lockpick’s script to break into that terminal. With any luck, they didn’t update the software to fix that vulnerability Arcane was talking about.” I shrugged. “I mean, they clearly didn’t bother fixing it on the vast majority of terminals, so the possibility is there, small as it may be.”

Neither of us spoke for a while after that as we walked up a sloped road covered in snow. Slipping and biting your tongue was an experience neither of us wanted to have again.

“But wait,” said Cherry, noticeably less winded than me. “Wasn’t the stable picked clean already?”

“No, you’re thinking of Stable 14, that one’s on the outskirts of Old Detrot. I’m talking about Stable 4, the one I’m from.”

“Wait a second, you’re from a stable? A nearby one at that?”

“Oh, I guess it never came up.” That was a lie. I’d actively avoided the topic since I really didn’t want to talk about my early foalhood. “But yes, I am. When I told you I gunned down my father as a kid, that was after we both ended up stranded outside.”

“Huh, and to think I used to believe nopony of decent upbringing could end up a raider. You shattered that belief once already, but to think you’re from a stable of all places…”

Well, this was the chance to open up further to him. “My upbringing was far from decent, though. Sure, my education was in depth due to the role of overmare that was meant for me, but—”

I cut myself short as I noticed that Cherry had stopped dead in his tracks, attempting to hold back laughter. I gave him a puzzled look, and that was enough to break his efforts containing himself. “So-sorry,” he managed to say between fits of giggles. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling, as amused as I was confused.

Eventually, he was able to stop, taking a deep breath. “Sorry, dunno why, but the idea of you in a cushy office in a stable just struck a funny chord in my mind.” He snorted. “‘Why yes, I would like the report on the caravans we slaughtered this month.’” He imitated my accent just well enough for me to break out laughing as well.

My mood soured a little when my mind caught onto what he’d actually said. “H-ha, yeah. ‘Go out into the wastes and kill some innocents, your overmare says so!’”

He gave a quiet chuckle in response; the kind you’d give when acknowledging someone’s joke, even if it wasn’t funny.

For a few seconds, my thoughts continued to spiral downwards. He really did think of me as nothing but a bloodthirsty monster, didn’t he?

I was drawn out of it when Cherry spoke up, “Hey, don’t look so glum. You know my stance on this whole thing. I’m okay with being around you, but I’m not gonna act like your past never happened.”

I just nodded. That was the downside to such a lighthearted friendship. Of course he didn’t care for me like Candy had, and neither did he have Lockpick’s respect for me. He saw me as an equal, and he treated me like one. I felt a smile return to my face.

“See? It’s better like this.” He bumped his flank into mine, and I had to make an active effort to hide my surprise. “So anyway, how long have you been out of the stable? ‘Cause I can’t imagine you turned raider the moment you stepped outside.”

“Actually, almost. I was so intoxicated with the freedom that I’d just gained that I almost started killing whoever stood in my path. It was only thanks to Candy that I turned out somewhat decent in the very end… To answer your question, though, it’s been a bit less than four years.”

“That makes sense.” Cherry broke eye contact to look out at the road ahead. “Reminds me, I’ve been meaning to ask; is that accent from your stable? I’ve never heard it before.”

“Probably.” I shrugged. “Everypony in the stable talked like this, so I never quite questioned it. Old recordings had ponies talking a lot more like you.”

“Makes sense, I suppose. I always found the way you spoke odd; you sound like you’re trying way too hard to sound fancy. Didn’t wanna bring it up, but if it’s a thing your stable does…”

“Thanks, that’s nice to hear.” I rolled my eyes with a chuckle. “Anyway, we’re almost there, but this makes me want to have a few drinks with you, just to see what other topics will come up with a bit less self-control.”

He turned his head towards me, tilting it and lifting an eyebrow. “Aren’t you a recovering alcoholic? And what about Star Seeds, what if he finds out?”

“I never said we’d be getting wasted,” I said with a wave of my hoof. “Just tipsy enough to hold a lighter conversation. He won’t find out, and I won’t slip back. Most of my drinking habit comes from trying to run from painful memories, and nowadays I’ve been pretty happy, so I don’t think that will be an issue. Just tell me to stop at three drinks, and I will.”

“Alright, I’ll take your word for it, then.” Cherry did not sound fully convinced, but he smiled nonetheless.

I was sitting in my room, staring the PipBuck Delta in front of me into submission. I wasn’t very successful.

Fuck it, I needed fresh air. I turned to leave my room, but a shiver ran down my spine, and I knew to stop before the door.

A second later, it opened and would have whacked me in the face if I’d taken another step. In stepped Cherry, almost walking into my chest. “Oh, hey Iron.” He smiled sheepishly.

“Hey. How was your walk?” It almost amazed me that he was allowed to just go on a two hour-long walk without anypony caring. Then again, the slavers knew he wouldn’t flee. Or maybe they just didn’t care; perhaps, to them, he was my responsibility.

“Snowy and cold, as usual for this place.” He scrunched up his muzzle. “What about you? You made any progress yet?”

I shook my head. I’d been throwing myself at this PipBuck ever since we’d come back from the stable, to no avail. “Absolutely fuck-all. In fact, I wanted to go out for a bit to reset my thoughts. I tried a few things, like unplugging the internal power source or disconnecting the authentication talisman, but neither worked.”

“What about the orb?”

“Neither, I’ve taken a short look at it, and all I can say is that I still don’t know whether or not it’s broken. It’s… weird.” Whatever I did, the orb simply refused to cooperate. When I manipulated it with my magic, it felt just like any other orb; a mild… arcane-y sensation. However, no matter how much I tried, I just could not get it to play. “Like I said, I only messed around with it for a bit. The PipBuck was the priority, but I didn’t even manage that.” I’d really wanted at least one working EFS prior to our upcoming trip into the metro.

“You think we could convince Star Seeds to give you one more day to prepare?”

I shook my head. “No, he was insistent he needs this done now that other parts of his plan are in motion.”

“You’ve barely recovered, and he keeps sending you on dangerous longass trips across the region. I know he’s a slaver and all, but he could at least be a bit more reasonable.”

I nodded. “I think he’s actually brutally reasonable. He sees slaves as a means to a goal; as a tool to do a certain job. He does try not to break said tool, unlike the dumbfucks over in Fillydelphia. And, on the other hoof, he only wanted a way to get into Stable 4. I'm the one who decided I needed to visit Arcane’s cottage.”

That was a few days ago. I wanted to take a peek into her safe. Inside, I’d found the orb that was supposed to be my key—or at least a good hint—to finding the stable’s password. While I was there, I also ended up deciding to pick up my father’s old PipBuck Delta as a replacement for my own.

Too bad neither of those plans had quite worked out. The Delta had some kind of biometric lock on it, and refused to boot up for me. Meanwhile, the memory orb wasn’t functional either, but I couldn’t tell why.

“Anyway,” I continued, “I really need a break from all this nerd shit, if only to wean my brain off of Mint-als. Starting to feel the cravings, and I wanna knick that in the bud. So at least our job will give me that break.”

Arcane’s safe had been such a rough lock that I’d taken a single candy to help myself just that tiny little bit more. Even with that, it took me over two hours to finally align the pins. Lockpick probably could have done it in five minutes.

Then, it had been all too tempting to make myself just a little bit more focused when working on either one of my PipBucks. In the moment, it had seemed like a good idea. In hindsight, it really wasn't; I could tell I was right in the middle of a downward spiral.

Cherry frowned in concern. “Just don’t take any when we come back, okay? I heard they’re particularly nasty.”

I waved my hoof dismissively. “Of course, of course. I know that as well.” Though knowing was only half the battle. Those cravings were going to be a bitch. In fact, they were only going to get worse. Mint-als were just too convenient; why quit cold turkey when I had things to do and couldn’t afford to deal with withdrawal? Or at least that’s what I told myself whenever I was off them.

I forced my thoughts onto another topic; that of our next task. It was a simple job, but not necessarily an easy one, depending on what we might encounter.

We were to try and find a few working spark generators, but more importantly a high-voltage transformer. According to Star Seeds, there were bound to be some in the metro lines.

Of course, we couldn’t easily check if whatever we found was functional, so in the end we would ideally try to find more than one.

There were probably spells to check that, of course. However, learning them would have required at least a day or so of practice and study. And of course, I had limited time, and instead chose to work on my father’s PipBuck.

I’d tried to override the lock, but that had been a colossal waste of time. On the bright side, I was now confident this approach wouldn’t work, and that I would need access to a Stable 4 administrative account to unlock it.

Alternatively, I could try to swap out parts, but I had no idea how I would fit them in my PipBuck Alpha’s casing. The Delta was the same size as a regular PipBuck, but it supposedly had a lot more features and was overall more powerful. The Alpha, on the other hoof, was very slim and could easily be worn underneath clothing.

Another issue was that Star Seeds needed those generators now and couldn’t afford to wait until I finally managed to get into the stable.

Worse yet, we couldn’t simply go in, pick up the transformer, and leave. It was much too heavy and bulky for me to carry more than a couple of metres at a time. Instead, we would need to completely secure an area of the metro in order for Star Seeds’ workers to safely pick it up. Doing so without an EFS would be dangerous and tedious.

The generators, on the other hoof, could easily fit on a cart equipped with a levitation talisman. This essentially meant we wouldn’t need to carry anything. I wouldn’t even need to have all of my weapons on me; just a shotgun would be enough.

Come to think of it… “Hey, Cherry?”

“Hmm?”

“I think I’ll do this one alone. Everything considered, your help wouldn’t really be needed, and you’re not that great of a fighter. The old metro lines are irradiated as hell anyway.” Technically I was putting myself at a slight disadvantage, but we had no idea what those tunnels would hold, and the odds of him dying were much higher than mine.

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you trying to look strong again?”

“Nah, I just think it’s an unnecessary risk for you, and looking out for you would likely slow me down. It’s not like I’m pushing myself past my limits, either.” I gave him a reassuring smile. “Really, I’ll be fine. I have my new armour and all.”

Cherry narrowed his eyes before letting his expression soften. “I see.” He returned my smile, but shook his head. “I’m still coming with, though. We’re looking for something, remember? What do you think my special talent is?”

Fuck. “You are right… Well, there goes my excuse to avoid exposing my friends to danger.” It was like with Lockpick, in a way. The benefits of having him around really did outweigh the inconvenience of needing to look out for him.

Then, I noticed his face had turned to a large, smug grin.

Cocking my head to the side, I made a confused gesture with my hoof. “What, first time being told you’re right?”

“No, first time you’ve called me a friend, miss ‘you can’t just decide to become friends’.”

I couldn’t stop a giggle from escaping my lips. I rolled my eyes and took a step closer, before ruffling his mane. “Shush, you.”

He grunted in mock annoyance, dodging out from under my hoof. “Am I wrong, though?”

He wasn’t. “Hey, don’t act like me caring about someone is all that weird, it’s the entire reason I’m in this mess.”

Though my friendship with him wasn’t really like anything I’d had before. It was oddly… lighthearted, all things considered. Maybe it was because I wasn’t a raging alcoholic anymore—I’d diversified my addictions! Maybe because I wasn’t hiding my past from him. Maybe it was both.

“Anyway, we might as well get ready now and go to bed early; not like I’m gonna get anything done in the next few hours,” I said as I made for my saddlebags. “And we’re gonna need to get that RadAway and Rad-X for you to survive down there.”

I stepped into the tiny room that served as my office and approached Gloam lying on the small couch that I usually slept on. She was a petite unicorn with a dark blue mane and a gloomy violet coat adorned with a crescent moon cutie mark. At least her name fit her look. Her right eye was swollen shut, and the left one—of a gentle orange hue—turned to stare at me with a mixture of apprehension and hope.

Several nasty whip wounds covered her body, alongside a multitude of bruises. Breathing heavily, she tried to get up to stand, but I stopped her with my telekinesis.

“Hey, Gloam. No need to stand up, I can see you’re wounded.” She was Crow’s gift to me for being ready to stand on my own hooves in Fillydelphia, he claimed.

“Yes, master.” Her words sent a rock tumbling through my heart. I hated being called that, but didn’t have a choice to keep up appearances; I needed her to actually treat me like her master. Even as Crow’s former apprentice, I couldn’t afford to have slaves show insubordination. If other slavers suspected I was weak, I would quickly end up a political pawn.

“How did this happen?” I gestured to her bruises and cuts.

“The other slaves, they…” She looked away, pawing at the old couch. “They caught wind that I was getting transferred to Crow’s protégé, and beat me until I couldn’t stand.” She gulped and tried to make herself as small as possible. “Then, the overseer whipped me for lazing around…” Anger washed over me; how could he do that? Poor Gloam…

To make matters worse, odds were that Crow was behind this. It really fit his style; have a slave beaten to the brink of death before having her transferred. Then treat her as kindly as possible to build a bond. I really didn’t have the heart to tell her that, though.

“I see. I’m sorry to hear that.” I sighed. “I’ll let you take a few days off to recover. I wish I could get you some healing supplies, but I don’t have access to the cabinet.” Suddenly, an idea flashed through my mind. “It’s a bit disheartening, really, to know that there are healing potions just down the hallway, but that I’m not allowed to give them to ponies who need them.”

I let out an exaggerated sigh before walking over to the bookshelf in the back of my room. “Anyway, I have some books for you to read, should you get bored. I won’t be around during the day, but we can talk more when I get back.” While I spoke to her, I pretended to haphazardly pile up books in my telekinesis, but I made sure to drop one of them before hurriedly hiding it behind myself. I attempted to levitate it back onto the shelf, but dropped it again and pretended like it didn’t exist. Gloam looked at me in confusion, but didn’t say anything.

It was a book on shadow magic, a school of spells that focused on stealth. I’d stolen it a few weeks ago in an attempt to find something that would allow me to escape with Petal and Banter. Unfortunately, this kind of magic just was not for me, and my horn refused to let me cast it. With enough practice, I knew I would eventually figure out the most basic spells. However, by the time I would get around to the spells that I needed, I’d be elderly. Given Gloam’s cutie mark, I dared hope she would be able to take better advantage of it.

“I’ll be back in a dozen minutes, I need to get you some food,” I said as I left my office, telekinetically locking the door behind me. Tomorrow, I would conveniently forget to do so.

Author's Note

I struggled a lot writing this chapter, but I think the build-up is worth it.

Chapter 25 — Just A Small Job

Just A Small Job

I walked up to Lucky Break. That, as I’d only found out after our talk, was the name of the mare who’d chatted me up after I first arrived in the warehouse. “Hey, Lucky?”

“Mm?” She turned to me.

“I’m a bit curious, have you seen that red buck around? Strawberry, I think.” I meant Cherry, but didn’t want to admit I remembered his name.

“Cherry,” she corrected. “Ever since what happened with Sweet Spirit—” Seeing my ‘I’m bad with names, remember’ look, she added, “The mare you scared shitless a week ago—he hasn’t been sleeping here. I think he sleeps in Dog’s quarters nowadays.”

I nodded. “I see. That would explain why I haven’t seen him around.” Hopefully, none of my relief was visible on my face. I really didn’t want to seem like I was taking a side. Being left alone was nice, now that I knew how it felt. In Fillydelphia, I’d constantly had to fight off other raiders to keep my place in the food chain.

“Kinda sad, really. I can’t say I blame him, with the way ponies have been treating him just for being her assistant. I just hope this won’t be the thing that breaks him. The buck has spirit, but spending this much time with a slaver… I’m not sure.” She sighed.

I still didn’t understand why everyone saw Dog as a slaver; she struck me more like a chained up raider than anything else. Maybe Cherry was right, and those ponies simply couldn’t help but see anyone above them as a slaver.

The line we’d picked was the yellow one, meaning we’d first gone along with the green line for four hours before switching to the yellow one at the Clover underground station. About an hour after entering the metro, our trip was uneventful. We’d occasionally bumped into a feral ghoul or two, but nothing Iron couldn’t handle. I helped as well, of course, but by the time I’d lined up a shot and killed a single one, she’d have taken out the rest.

We’d found two maintenance closets so far, but neither of them seemed to contain what we were here for. They just had smaller electronics, tools, or medical supplies.

At some point, maybe fifteen minutes after our last encounter with a ghoul, she spoke up, “Now’s probably around a good time for you to take some Rad-X. Radiation’s getting worse with every metre.”

I nodded and dug through my saddlebags. While I did so, I said, “Kinda wish I could deal with radiation the way you do.” I picked out the bottle of pills and shook one onto my hoof before swallowing it. “Would make survival a whole lot easier,” I added with a chuckle.

I turned to see Iron shaking her head, an uneasy smile on her face. “Trust me, you don’t. It’s convenient, sure, but it makes me feel like some mutated abomination.” She kicked a piece of rubble to the side, and her expression softened. “Never would have thought that I’d say that, but can you blame me? Something as deadly as radiation makes me feel warm and cosy, like a soft blanket, of course I’m gonna feel like a monster.”

I had to admit, when she put it like that, it was quite creepy.

We continued to walk in silence for another long while. Since we couldn’t talk out of fear of getting any unwanted attention, time passed very slowly. On top of that, it was too dark to see further than Iron’s flashlight illuminated. Without anything to distract me, boredom was slowly overtaking my mind, causing my mind to wander aimlessly.

Iron wasn’t faring much better, as she suddenly shook her head, as if trying to clear her thoughts. A moment later, though, she swore under her breath.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered.

She gave me a strained smile. “Nothing, just pissed off at those damn cravings. Fucking hate Mint-Als. Never taking that garbage again.” But her tone sounded like she was about to add a ‘hopefully’ at the end.

A while later, she informed me that the radiation levels had increased further—still nowhere critical, though. After that, I would have expected to run into more feral ghouls, not fewer. For a while, we’d been encountering them so rarely, even with all the noise our guns would make. Now, though? It was as if somepony had painstakingly cleared out the main tunnel and the side ones.

Finally, I spotted some light in the distance. For a while, I thought it was the outside’s light. But as we approached it, Iron shut off her PipBuck’s light. When my eyes adjusted, I could tell this wasn’t daylight. Instead, it seemed like somepony had actually managed to turn the ceiling lights back on.

It was of course possible that it just so happened that the lights in this part of the metro had kept working for nearly two hundred years, but somehow I doubted that.

“There’s something ahead,” Iron whispered to me. “Pass me my sniper rifle.”

Pulling the individual parts out of my saddlebags, I hoofed them over to her. “What do you see?” I asked as she started screwing the parts together with her hooves.

“Dunno yet.” She placed the rifle on a block of concrete and peered through the scope. After a moment, I saw her eyebrows furrow. “There’s some kinda wall made of scrap, with a unicorn ghoul on top. Has a rifle strapped to her back. Or his, I can't tell. Looks like some kinda guard.”

She started adjusting the knob on her rifle. Elevation, probably.

That meant she wasn’t just content with watching the ghoul. “And… you’re just gonna shoot her? She’s probably just defending her settlement, she’s not a threat to us in the slightest. And you’re gonna shoot her?”

“Yeah, I—” She cut herself off, then turned to look at me. “I mean, she’s in our way, don’t really have a choice.”

“Really?” I deadpanned. “You’re really telling me we can’t just take one of those side tunnels, go to the surface and completely avoid her? There’s even the chance she isn’t hostile at all, but I’m not naive enough to risk getting shot up to test that out.”

“But they might have what we need; they got power, somehow.” She sounded so hesitant; an emotion that I wasn’t used to from her.

I just stared at her blankly, trusting my expression to convey what I meant better than words could.

“I—I don’t have a choice, okay?” She sounded like a filly with her hoof caught in a cookie jar. “I can’t go against Star Seeds’ orders. I have to do what he says.”

Now that was worrying. A few months ago, I thought she wasn’t much better than a slaver. When she said things like this, though, I couldn’t help but see the slave come to light. “He only wants us to find a few generators. He never asked you to kill an unknown settlement of ghouls.” At least I assumed it was that. “What’s stopping you from just leaving this part out when you tell him what happened?” Why are you so eager to anticipate his orders? It took some effort not to say that out loud.

She opened her mouth, then closed it. Finally, she said, “I guess you’re right. I just want this to be over with as soon as possible, and didn’t think it through.”

I didn’t buy it. That would imply she forgot it was wrong. It would mean that she was willing to commit an atrocity just to make her own life a little easier, and that didn’t seem like the mare I’d gotten to know.

We were back in the metro. We’d managed to find a transformer relatively close to one of the big stations. We’d found it behind a locked door, in a room so full of ghouls that even Iron had wanted to avoid it at first. No doubt, that was the reason nopony else had gotten to it.

That was exactly why I’d insisted on trying it instead of just walking around. Killing all these ghouls took a long time, especially because we wanted to avoid getting overrun. I didn’t bother counting, but there were at least thirty of them, some having sucked up enough radiation to emit a faint glow. Those took a couple of shots before finally going down.

Had I been scavenging on my own, I wouldn’t have considered that room to be worth the trouble. Frankly, it would have been a huge risk for somepony like me. But with Iron’s combat experience, something “too dangerous to bother with” had become “dangerous enough to not have been looted yet.”

That had been almost two hours ago. Now, though, we were deep under Old Detrot, following the blue line. We’d gone through the entirety of the yellow one until reaching the central station. That had taken us a good chunk of the day, and if we wanted to remain on schedule, we really needed to find that spark generator soon, or we would need to spend the night here.

Normally, that wouldn’t have been a problem since the old city was relatively empty. However, the temperatures had been dropping for the past few days, and I wasn’t keen on finding out how low they would go.

Since I’d been right about the locked door, I managed to convince Iron to explore the deeper parts of the Old Detrot metro. Specifically, the blue line passed underneath the hill that housed the ancient parts of the city—parts already old by the time the balefire bombs fell. The tracks themselves were only on a mild slope upwards, but every station we’d found was deeper underground than the last.

If there was one place in the entire metro system that had been touched the least by scavengers, it had to be on this line. In general, a good rule of hoof in the wasteland was that anything underground was dangerous, and ponies were generally apprehensive of diving into a dark tunnel far below the surface.

Frankly, I didn't like it one bit. Everything about this place screamed “bad idea” to me, and it was only because I trusted Iron’s skills that I’d even suggested it. However, the general atmosphere of this place made me uneasy. I couldn’t quite tell why, but apart from the obvious, something else was stressing me out.

Not only that, but the radiation levels down here were very high, enough that somepony had put up a sign warning potential scavengers. I was forced to drink more RadAway than I liked—it could be tasty in small quantities, but after a couple of sachets, I was really fed up with it.

On the bright side, we hadn’t encountered any ghouls in a long while.

Eventually, we stepped into a large, open, subterranean metro station; the largest we’d seen so far, in fact. In here, the sound of rushing water was loud enough that even Iron seemed to pick up on it. It had already been stressing me out before, but it was so much worse now. The perpetual noise made it hard to hear anything else, and before I knew it, I was grinding my teeth.

On either side of us, plexiglass walls separated the platforms from the tracks. Iron made her way to where the wall had been broken, before climbing onto the platform and helping me up as well. I spotted a sign that informed us this was the “Castle” station, apparently. So we were now at one of the deepest points of the metro, since the ruined castle was at the very top of the hill.

Soon, I spotted the source of the noise. A white sign stood before a shattered window overlooking an abyss of black.

As Iron lifted her foreleg to illuminate further down, I saw the light glint off of water. A few spotlights lined the walls leading down, but it didn’t look like any of them had worked in years.

I turned my attention to the sign in front of me, bearing the title “Dried riverbed of the Twinstream River.” Didn’t look very dry to me.

The rest of the sign explained how the metro had been built next to the river before it dried up, and that unknown conditions had caused that. Apparently, whatever it was, it had undone itself since.

Suddenly, I heard something. A rock tumbling just a couple of centimetres. While the metro’s silence was occasionally broken by distant howls and echoes of heavy thuds, this was way too close.

I turned around to face where I’d heard it, but didn’t see anything.

Iron must have noticed my sudden movement. “Is something wrong?”

“I… think I heard something around there.” I pointed a hoof towards the general direction of the noise.

Iron turned to illuminate that area with her PipBuck, but there was too much rubble lying around. We looked around for maybe two minutes, but didn’t find anything. If there was something here, it could very well be hiding in the shadows cast by some of the larger blocks of concrete.

I heard my breathing grow shallower and faster, and I almost jumped when Iron touched my withers. “S-sorry,” I muttered.

“My bad, I should have said something first. I was gonna try to calm you down. We need to stay sharp.” Her tone just barely betrayed her own worry. Let’s keep going, or do you think we’ll find anything in this station?”

I swallowed, then shook my head. “Too open. The ponies who built this place likely placed the actual electronics just a bit further in the tunnel.” I’d started rambling without really thinking, as if trying to justify leaving this place as soon as possible. I paused for a moment, gathering my thoughts. “A big station like this would probably have warranted an equally large, separated backbone to keep it running. The entrance could be somewhere in here, or just a bit further down the tracks.”

“Then we should probably look around for any doors around here before we move on, right?” The look she gave me helped me pull myself together. She was genuinely asking for advice, not just contradicting me. In fact, I’d been the one to contradict myself first.

I nodded. “Yeah, though I’d think it’s more likely to be further ahead, but we might as well look here.” Scared as I was to stay here, who was to say that whatever had made that noise wouldn’t just follow us?

I started walking towards the edge of the station, Iron in tow, the clop of our hooves barely quiet enough to be drowned out by the rushing water. My eyes scanned the wall for anything that could indicate any sort of mildly concealed entrance.

Focusing on this allowed me to ignore the fear gnawing at my mind. The walls were covered in large, rectangular tiles made of specular teal ceramic. Suddenly, something in the corner of my eye moved, and I turned to face it.

I breathed a small sigh of relief as I realised the movement was just the reflection of the light Iron’s PipBuck was shining.

If there was an entrance here, it would be very easy to spot, as the tiles would need to be cut in the shape of a door, and I wasn’t looking for any sort of secret passage. Just a maintenance tunnel that was most likely designed so that it didn’t look completely out of place.

I gasped as a noise reverberated through the station, before realising it was the same as what we’d heard a few times already. Something heavy, falling to the ground very far away. The noise was just a bit more distorted than usual.

“Is that it?” asked Iron in a whisper. It took me a few moments to see what she meant, but it didn’t seem to be the case. The door was too grand, too easy to notice. It was meant for the public. A few steps later, it became obvious that this was just an elevator.

We continued. Down here, every second felt like an eternity. At most a minute had passed, but I was conscious of every single step I took, making sure to remain quieter than the water. Iron’s hooves, however, occasionally made a noise just above that threshold, making my entire body tense up momentarily.

I stumbled as I kicked a small rock. I saw it roll and jump up, deafening me every time it hit the ground. Every time it bounced upwards, my heart stopped for a moment, dreading the noise it would make. Every time it came down, I clenched my leg muscles, trying to will it to stop. Every time it skipped, I held my breath. Every time it dropped, I winced.

Finally, it came to a halt, but the sound reverberated for another fraction of a second. I didn’t dare move, listening for anything that might have reacted to this sudden noise. Iron stopped as well, looking around the room with her flashlight.

Five seconds passed. Nothing.

Ten seconds passed. Nothing.

Fifteen seconds passed. Nothing.

After twenty seconds, I let out the breath I hadn’t realised I’d been holding. There was nothing here, just like there hadn’t been anything in the tunnel leading up to this place. That one pebble I’d heard had probably just shifted off of a bigger pile. Everything was fine.

We continued looking through the abandoned station, eventually deciding to move on after failing to find anything of importance at all. There was a set of caved in stairs, maybe twenty metres from the elevator, that we could potentially try on our way back. Still, instinct and experience told me what we were looking for was ahead.

And indeed, after five more minutes, we spotted another opening near the tracks. It was much smaller than any actual station, but just as long as most of them. There was no platform, and no ceramic tiles, just a metal staircase, as well as a door. After trying it, Iron found it locked.

I nodded to Iron, and her horn lit dimly. A red aura appeared around the edges of the keyway, intensifying as her horn grew brighter and brighter. I turned to avoid being blinded, but as the light grew further, my heart skipped a beat.

Down the corridor we’d come from, a pair of pupils, reflecting a measly amount of red light, was slowly moving away. When I met its gaze, though, it stopped. Then it started moving closer. As my eyes adjusted back to the darkness, I could see jagged teeth.

“I-Iron, there’s something there…”

Had it been following us?

The next thing I knew, Iron pointed her PipBuck at it.

In front of us stood a pitch black dog, mouth open as it panted happily, even wagging its tail.

I breathed a sigh of relief. “It’s just a dog. What are you doing here, little guy?” It wasn’t actually small, but compared to what I’d been imagining, anything was good.

Iron, however, remained quiet. My initial relief having died down, I started noticing odd details about it. Its coat, dark as it was, was glistening as if it was drenched in water, but it wasn’t dripping.

Suddenly, Iron’s horn glowed, but by the time she pulled out her shotgun, the dog had already closed more than half the distance between us in a single leap.

Instead of aiming at the dog, Iron turned it upwards in an attempt to strike it. Meanwhile, I fumbled for my battlesaddle’s trigger bit.

She swung at the dog, but it bit down on the shotgun’s stock. With a sharp tug, it tore it free of Iron’s magic, dissipating the red aura in a second. Looking satisfied with itself, it let out an excited, happy bark before leaping once more.

Only to have its torso torn by two dozen pellets of lead, spraying the opposing wall with pitch black blood.

My shotguns’ retort echoed throughout the tunnels multiple times, growing more distant each time. It had been at least two hours before either Iron or I had needed to shoot something, so the sound felt like it cut into my ears with a hot knife. The earmuffs were right around my neck, but I hadn’t had the time to pull them up.

I didn’t have the time to lament that as Iron pulled my thoughts back to reality. “We can’t stay here, I’ll get the door open.” She kept her shotgun nearby as she continued to work on the lock.

I couldn't agree more. That gunshot was sure to attract ghouls. Actually…

Hmm… that didn’t seem right.

I took another look at the creature’s corpse. Like this, it hardly looked like a dog anymore. Its flesh was liquefying, as if rotting on the spot.

Then it clicked, and in a moment I realised why I’d been so uneasy down here, and that ghouls were now the least of our problems. How could I be so stupid?

We hadn’t encountered a single ghoul in such a long time that I wanted to bash my head into the wall for not noticing. The radiation in here was so strong, I should have realised! Bones were notoriously absent as well, which was an even worse sign. Either ponies had avoided this tunnel when the bombs fell, or something was very wrong.

Attracting ghouls wasn’t a problem. Ghouls were predictable. Ghouls always walked mindlessly towards any non-equine noise. Only when they realised there was a pony involved did they break out into a sprint to catch you. They were scary, yes, especially in large groups. However, they did not have any sort of intellect, and certainly appeared to lack the ability to learn.

That dog, however, had clearly been smart enough to stalk us for a while, and it was a lot faster than any ghoul I’d ever seen. Somehow, I doubted it was the only one of its kind.

This reminder made my nerves finally catch up to me. “Hey, Iron, we need to leave. Now. Fuck this generator, this place is way too creepy.” We were already starting to run low on ammo, despite the enormous amount we had packed. That was the biggest reason ghouls were dangerous, killing them burnt through one’s ammunition reserves at an alarming pace.

Her brows furrowed, and then she dropped the aura in the keyhole. “You’re right. I wanted to try hiding inside here, but now I’m having a rough time focusing.” Her horn picked up her shotgun, and she nodded at me.

We turned around and broke into a light canter. One just slow enough to not risk getting a hoof stuck on a rock or a plank and avoid getting exhausted. Normally, I was healthier than Iron, but the radiation down here reversed that, and I could tell I would get winded very fast.

Now that we’d seen what we were dealing with, I felt like I could actually face it. Adrenaline was kicking in, and despite how much danger we were likely in, I felt less terrified.

Soon, I could hear the distant sound of water coming from Castle station. It didn’t have the time to stress me out as Iron suddenly shouted, “Earpro!” Her magic illuminated the tunnel.

Getting the hint, I pulled my ear muffs up from their resting position. Just a second later, her shotgun roared once, then twice as she gunned down something much further down the tunnel. After taking a few steps forward, she looked back and nodded.

On the ground lay another one of those dogs, face and throat shredded by buckshot. We didn’t stop to stare.

Iron’s vision really was something else, I had to admit. One always heard of stories that when a pony lost one of their senses, the rest sharpened. Seeing it directly really put things into perspective.

We finally stepped into Castle station. For a moment, I was tempted to run straight for where I’d seen the stairs and pray to Celestia that somehow there was a way up. But I knew it wasn’t the case. I’d seen the staircase and knew it would just be a waste of time.

I was brutally snapped out of my thoughts by the sound of rocks clattering against each other. “Another one!” I jumped to face it, but without Iron’s flashlight, I couldn’t see it.

Iron immediately turned around and pulled the trigger. Then again. And again. And again. How many of those were there?

Finally, I saw it. It was another dog, running just as fast as the others, but unlike them, it was dashing from side to side. Iron’s shotgun roared once more, but the monster seemed unaffected. She’d missed again. I knew she only had one shell left. I turned the dial in my trigger bit to the left, switching it to alternate between each weapon, instead of firing both at once.

Biting down on it time and time again, I was hoping to buy Iron enough time. It jumped to the side as she shot once again. It didn’t connect, but the dog couldn’t dodge my own rapid fire anymore. Its forward momentum was cut by a set of pellets impacting into its chest and side, and then another. How many times had I pulled the trigger? Five? Six? Seven? Definitely less than ten; I still had at least two shots.

My blood froze as I heard a noise behind me. I turned my head to see yet another one, rushing at me.

It was too close. My body wouldn’t turn in time. I screamed. I was finally facing it, but it was already too late.

Its jaws closed around my throat, the weight of its body throwing me to the ground. I tried to scream, but nothing came out. As quickly as it had killed me, it jumped away, barely dodging Iron’s knife.

My vision… grew blurrier by… the second, dark… edges… closing… in.

I was sitting across from Petal and Banter, in the room that was essentially their prison. I’d just finished catching them up to what had happened over the past month. Last time I’d seen them was roughly a week before I received Gloam.

I told them how I’d gotten her to pick up shadow magic, and that she was apparently a natural at it. Something told me that wasn’t a coincidence, but I obviously couldn’t ask Crow about it without revealing my trump card.

Still, I put her talents to good use. During the day, she assisted me with my regular duties as overseer, but between shifts I had her stealing supplies from slavers further away. Medicine, survival equipment, all sorts of things. She even managed to sneak into the firearms factory.

All of that was to make sure our escape would go smoothly. With Gloam’s help, I’d mapped out a large portion of Fillydelphia and had a decent idea of what path to take in order to avoid being spotted. I still needed to come up with some safe routes to cross certain very open streets. On top of that, I still needed a way to get past the guards near the inner fence. Escaping through the main wall and its gates would be an impossible task, even with somepony as sneaky as Gloam on our side.

Of course, what I didn’t tell them was how bad I felt about it. I couldn’t help but feel like I was truly and genuinely acting the role of a slaver. I may not have been whipping or threatening her, but I knew the reason she never hesitated to follow my orders, even when I dressed them up as mere suggestions.

The truth of the matter was that she was scared. Terrified, even. I knew she dreaded every single thing her mind thought I would do if she disobeyed. Would I lash her? Would I lock her up for a few days without any food? Would I simply decide she wasn't worth my time, and give her back to her previous owner?

I, of course, wouldn't do any of those things, but she didn't know that. And even if she did have a hunch, she was too scared to follow up on it. I could see it in her eyes, that fear that bound her tighter than chains ever could.

I almost tried to reassure her a few times, but in the end couldn't manage to bring myself to it. I just couldn't tell how she would react. Would she take it as a mind game and only submit further? Or would she take that as a sign of weakness and betray me? Maybe she'd trust me, but relax enough to slip and forget to show me respect in front of other slavers?

All of those sounded like lame excuses, and I knew it. It was why I didn't dare bring it up with my family. I knew they would judge me and end up thinking less of me.

At the same time, I did have a reason to exploit her. As horrible as I was for taking advantage of her mental conditioning, I was also doing it for her sake. After all, I would set her free once we were out of here.

Besides, I already knew I was a bad pony, so what difference would it make to me? I’d determined long ago that I was willing to step on others for my own survival and fulfilment, so why was my conscience still beating me over the head?

I didn’t realise how long the silence had stretched out until Banter broke it with a heavy sigh. “I… I really appreciate what you’re trying to do, but…”

Oh sweet Luna, was he going to call me out for being a slaver? I wasn’t doing anything wrong!

Banter bit his lip, hesitant to continue. He swallowed and faced me, and then Petal. “I think there’s one thing you need to know first. I should have said something sooner, but I simply didn’t have the courage.” He paused for a moment, steeling his nerves. “It’s about what happened at Dodge Junction, almost a year ago. I didn’t tell you everything…”

Chapter 26 — Change of Fate

Change of Fate

My wheelchair creaked horribly as I walked towards the town’s centre. The noise was no surprise, really, given how primitive and rusted the device was. Just two wheels, connected a couple of rusty pipes haphazardly welded together, and a few leather straps to support the weight of my back side.

Still, surprising or not, the constant creaking made it utterly impossible to forget my current state for even a second. It was bad enough that I had to get used to the lack of feeling in my hind legs, and to having my backside strapped into a rusty frame on wheels, but every single screech from it drove the nail in that much further.

Worse yet, ponies were staring at me. I wasn’t wanted in Dodge City, and they made that abundantly clear. I would have obliged, but I was stuck here.

I had to remind myself that not everypony here hated my guts, even if it seemed that way. Enough influential citizens believed in my innocence that I was never directly shunned. Adrenaline Shot had vouched for me, and I’d explained the situation to the mayor. Still, the majority of ponies had heard of me as Iron’s accomplice who’d gotten what he deserved.

But I hadn’t come here just to earn nasty glares. In fact, I was looking for a pony, and once I entered the central plaza that contained the market, it didn’t take long for me to spot him. After all, pegasi stood out like sore hooves.

Adrenaline Shot had told me about him. I knew he was a courier, and that he went by Airdrop, but that was all she’d mentioned. I watched as he finished putting away his purchases—a couple of cans of pre-war food and two apples. When he started walking towards the next stall, I called out, “Excuse me?” However, my voice didn’t carry, and failed to get his attention.

While he looked at the merchandise in front of him, I had time to walk up a little closer. “Excuse me, Mister Airdrop?”

“What is it?” When he replied, I felt a chill run down my spine. I couldn’t tell what, but something about him struck me as odd. Normally, that would have been enough for me to avoid him like a ghoul. In the moment, though, I was desperate and really did not care. I had barely slept since my injury and couldn’t stop worrying about Petal and Lockpick. Sending that letter was the only thing on my mind, and I was willing to deal with shady individuals to finally send it.

“I, uh, heard you were a courier.” My voice was weak, and my tone hesitant, as if I was a young colt looking for his mother. I just didn’t have the strength to put on my usual confident front.

Airdrop nodded. “Do you have a letter, or perhaps a package, for me to deliver?”

“Y-yeah.” Why was it so damn hard to steel my voice and sound normal?

“Well, I shall gladly take it off of your hooves then. I suppose you do not have it on you, along with my payment?” He stretched out his wing towards me, as if it were a leg.

“A-actually, I do. I came here specifically looking for you.” I reached into my saddlebags and pulled out a scrap of paper alongside my wallet. “Adrenaline Shot told me you would be in town again one of these days.”

“I see. Very well, then.” He paused for a second, looking me over. Or at least making a show of it. “Although—and do forgive my curiosity if indiscreet—would you mind telling me how you were injured? Your scars do look rather recent, if you will excuse my pointing it out. Were you perhaps involved in the battle a few weeks ago?” I could tell he was exaggerating, as if playing a role. He knew more than he let on. Either he was testing me, or he wanted to hear it from my own mouth.

I simply nodded. Trying to defend myself too early might make me look suspicious; better to let him ask the questions before answering them. If he was resorting to manipulative behaviour, I could do the same.

“Unfortunate, unfortunate indeed,” he said, nodding all the while. “You were not involved with that bandit, were you? I have heard rumours about you, but would not dare judge your character preemptively.” Another shiver ran down my spine. This pegasus was incredibly shady and couldn’t be trusted. And yet, he was my only hope at the moment.

Before my silence got suspicious, I replied, “N-no!” I made sure to start off upset, but then let my tone droop as I continued, “Well… Yes, but not knowingly.” If he was insisting on playing around, I could do so as well. Tired or not, I wouldn’t let this stranger try to beat me at my own game. I swallowed and pawed at the ground. “I didn’t know she was a bad pony, I swear…”

Everything I said was true, but I made sure to let him know he’d opened a fresh wound. I wanted to guilt trip him for suggesting it. Not only would it clear my name, but it would also turn the tables and cement me as the leader of this conversation.

It did exactly that. I saw his eyes go wide for a fraction of a second, but he hid it well, gesturing with his wing for me to continue.

Good. For the past few weeks, all I’d felt was anger, spite, and despair, and I didn’t have the patience to be nice with ponies trying to manipulate me.

However, I wouldn’t gain anything from continuing this charade. At least not for now. “She… tricked us, you see? She said there was a loan shark that wanted to enslave her. She didn’t mention a word of what she actually did to this town.” I sighed, all my spite turning to regret. “Told us she was just a mercenary looking to retire and do something more peaceful with her life. And like the idiot that I am, I fucking believed her.”

Airdrop frowned and took a few moments to think up a reply. “I see. If that is true, you were just as much of a victim as the inhabitants of this fine town. Who are these other ponies you speak of?” Before I could respond, he quickly added, “Perhaps we should find some better place to discuss this.” He was right, of course. Ponies were starting to stare.

We started walking towards the southern part of town, where Adrenaline’s clinic was. After we left the marketplace, there were fewer ponies around, and I said, “The two ponies I was talking about are Lockpick and Petal, and they’re basically my family. About a month and a half ago, Iron joined us and made the claims I mentioned earlier.”

The right wheel of my harness got stuck on a small rock, and I paused to pull through. “I had a bad feeling about her, but there were a few reasons why I didn’t immediately tell her off. She was very sick, and I knew Lockpick wanted someone her age to talk to. Plus there was that part of me that wanted to believe her. Neither Petal nor I are experienced fighters. We can hold our own in a fight, but the idea of an added safety net was alluring.”

Airdrop slowly nodded. “I assume they are the ponies your letter is addressed towards?”

I hummed a response. “After the attack, they had to leave town while I was left behind in Doctor Adrenaline Shot’s care. I’m trying to get back in touch with them, but it’s hard to travel longer distances like this.” I motioned to the wheelchair strapped to my backside. “They’re supposed to be waiting in Riverbreak.”

“Do you know what happened to that bandit?” He hesitated for a moment. “I am very afraid of running into her and would perhaps have the chance to warn some ponies of her approach.”

I winced, despite my best efforts not to. “That’s the entire issue, she left with them. My letter contains everything I was able to gather about Iron, to hopefully convince them to split from her…”

Airdrop frowned when he heard the first sentence, then remained silent as his brows furrowed. Finally, he spoke up, “That does sound rather problematic. I assume you are worried that she might enact some kind of violent retribution?”

I nodded.

“I see…” He tilted his head and turned his eyes towards the sky, not really focusing on anything. “I could perchance consider delivering the letter at an opportune time.” His speech mannerisms were starting to get on my nerves, but I pushed that feeling to the side. If he was willing to help me, I shouldn’t judge him like that. “Or, I could even envision helping the ponies of Dodge finally bring her to justice, by delivering a letter to the mayor of Riverbreak. After all, it would make the wasteland safer for everypony, including my wife, foal, and myself.” I felt myself relax a little. Maybe he wasn’t as shady as I’d originally thought. Something about him made me uneasy, but I could tell he wasn’t a bad guy at heart.

“Precisely, and your help would be greatly appreciated.” For a moment, I considered leaving it at that, but decided against it. If he was truly willing to help, then he should know the full scale of the problem. “However… there’s more. I’m worried about Lockpick. Specifically, I’m afraid she might not want to leave Iron, even if she learns the truth.”

I took a deep breath and sighed. “She was always more… pragmatic than us, even if it meant not necessarily doing the right thing. A true wastelander attitude that’s sometimes needed to survive.” I felt bad for telling that to a stranger, but it had been a point of worry for Petal and I for a while now.

I stopped and pawed at the ground. “I know it’s unlikely she’ll choose Iron over us, but there’s a lingering doubt in the back of my mind. Even then, forcing her to choose would definitely sour our relationship, and I just can’t find a way to not paint myself as the bad guy.” I stared at the ground, disappointed that I needed to ask somepony I didn’t know for advice like this. “I was tempted to be as harsh as possible to truly get the point across. But like I said, Lockpick might be more understanding than me, and to her it would seem like I’m exaggerating.” I needed to be subtle here, but without a face-to-face discussion with Lockpick, I didn’t know how to tiphoof my way around the topic.

Airdrop remained quiet for a while, and I couldn’t read his face. After maybe a minute of staring at the sky in thought, he spoke up again. “I was not planning on remaining here for longer than a few days, as our goal was to make it to Skybridge before my wife becomes unable to travel due to her pregnancy.”

He turned back towards me. “However, what you have said has led me to realise that I should take matters into my own hooves.” He paused for a brief moment. “You see, I did not tell the entire truth. Iron Sights is no arbitrary bandit, for she has dearly hurt my beloved. I have been trying to avoid settlements where Iron was sighted, so as to not bring back painful memories for my wife.” A shiver ran down my spine. I couldn’t really agree with sheltering an adult in such a way, but I was hardly in a position to judge; I’d do similar things for Lockpick, and she no longer was a small filly. “She is a very pure soul and harbours no ill will for Iron.” He broke eye contact and started trotting again.

I could see where this was going. “And I take it you do?”

To my surprise, he shook his head. “Only slightly. I despise Iron for what she has done to my wife, but would not seek vengeance for its own sake.” He paused for a moment and looked me in the eye. “As a result of my scouting, I have become familiar with just how dangerous Iron is. I am not seeking any sort of retribution; I simply want to rid the wasteland of a vile bandit.” He turned his head forwards again before adding, “Besides, it is time I take a permanent solution to the problem of avoiding her.”

His words seemed too grand to be believable, but my gut told me he was entirely sincere. “That makes sense, I guess.” I turned to face him, and he met my gaze. “I take it you have some kinda plan? You mentioned trying to convince the inhabitants of Riverbreak to band together with those of Dodge?” I doubted that this would have any real chance of success. “And what about Lockpick? Convincing her that I had nothing to do in this might be pretty difficult, depending on how things go.”

Again, Airdrop shook his head. “That would be the easy option, yes, but you and I both know how lethal Iron can be, particularly when cornered. I doubt she would surrender, and that would result in needless death.” He took a breath and continued, “Even then, they might not succeed in capturing or killing her. While she might not be able to win against a large group, she is capable of teleportation and would likely escape.”

He didn’t answer my second question, but that was fine for now. “Good to see we’re on the same page. What’s your actual plan then?”

“It will take some time, as well as your direct cooperation, but it should produce satisfactory results,” he said with a proud smirk on his muzzle, the first show of emotions I’d really seen from him.

Over the next week, I saw him twice. The first time was just two days after meeting him. We talked a little, and even shared a few drinks. He even offered that I meet his wife, sister, and niece, but I declined after finding out who exactly he was married to. I simply wouldn’t be able to lie to Candy about who her sister had become, not even by omission.

Besides, the four of them were staying quite far away from Dodge itself. For a normal pony, it would have been a day of walking. For me, it was closer to two. For Airdrop, it was only a few hours.

Officially, that choice had been made to avoid the detour through Dodge itself, as they were aiming to go directly to a town well north of Manehattan. Candy really wanted to give birth there, and it was overall a nice location for a nomadic family to settle down for a few months.

While he made preparations in town, I worked on rewriting my letter into something more suitable to our plans. I mostly just needed to get them to meet up, and then my special talent would make the rest of the scheme easy. I decided to mostly write down the truth and lie by omission when I could.

After he delivered the letter, he still had more to do, further away from town. Contacting ponies who usually didn’t come around these parts, but who were still nearby.

However, it was during that time that disaster struck. One day, a winded Airwaves flew into Adrenaline’s clinic. I needed a few moments to convince her to calm down and catch her breath. I’d met the mare a few times in New Detrot, but seeing her this upset about something was odd.

And indeed, she was bringing grim news. Candy had gone into labour, almost six weeks before the predicted due date. The next day, Airdrop came back and immediately left for their temporary home when I told him what happened. Three days later, Petal and Lockpick came to fetch me, and I didn’t get to find out the foal’s fate.

“Is compassion, misguided as it might be, really such a bad thing?” I said to Iron. I knew she needed to hear this right now.

“No, I guess not.” She let out a sigh of relief and fell asleep as the drug finally set in.

Despite having been given the biggest dose, she’d been the least affected. Perhaps it was due to her various drug habits? Even then, she wasn’t nearly as built as Petal, and she was a unicorn to boot, so it should have been more effective. Yet, the two others went to bed rather quickly after ingesting it, while she stayed up. Maybe it was just a question of staying up despite the drowsiness? I really didn’t know the details of how the drug was supposed to work.

Lockpick had gone to sleep first, unsurprising given how small she was. While still overall safe, the dose might have been too high, in hindsight. But then again, I really couldn’t afford either Lockpick or Petal waking up, or it would ruin the entire plan, and why I was going so far for this.

I shook my head. It was obvious what my mind was doing; desperately trying to avoid the painful reluctance I felt. I didn’t like going behind my family’s backs.

In fact, I didn’t like treating Iron like this either. She had opened up to me and been completely sincere for the first time since we met her. She genuinely regretted that her actions led to me getting hurt. She was ready to accept being abandoned, to accept the consequences of her deeds.

Just a week ago, it was all too easy to see her as just a bandit who’d duped us for her own personal gain—whatever that may have been. Now, though? The line in the sand had vanished in one big gust of wind. She wasn’t a good pony; in fact, she was downright evil by many standards. But she regretted her actions, and ultimately was just a lonely pony trying to find her place in the world. Despite everything, I could sympathise with her.

On the other hoof… letting her stay with us was a mistake. Sympathy or not, I needed to protect my family. There were many ponies who wanted justice for what was done to their loved ones, and we were at risk by associating with her. Besides, no matter how much my heart wanted to forgive this poor filly, some actions were simply inexcusable.

I leaned to my right and pulled a small, folded sheet of paper out of my bag. Opening the note, I read it over once again. It was written in clean and elaborate cursive, as one would expect from a pony like Iron—at least for those aware of her education. It read:

‘Dear Lockpick, Banter, and Petal,

It pains me to leave you so soon after joining, but when I saw the state that my actions left Banter in, I realised this couldn’t continue. I need to leave, lest I hurt you all in a similar fashion.

I will not go into details, but know that I wasn’t truthful when I mentioned the loan shark. I am an outlaw in Dodge, as well as many other settlements across Equestria. Do not follow me, please.

Goodbye,

Iron Sights.’

Would this really be good enough to convince Petal and Lockpick? No, that was a dumb question; they had no reason to doubt me, of course it would. As long as I told them this letter came from Iron, they would believe me.

Above me, I heard the flap of wings, slowly descending closer and closer. “Good evening, Banter,” said Airdrop.

I nodded to him. “Hey.”

“How are you doing?” Even though he was trying to keep his tone level, he couldn’t hide the confusion seeping into it. He kept hovering about a metre off the ground.

I grimaced and shrugged with my left shoulder—Iron was leaning on the right one. “Could be better. I’m still not fond of deceiving my family’s like this, even if it is necessary.” Then, I nodded to Iron. “She was a little emotional, and I figured calming her down would make her fall asleep faster.”

His expression softened slightly. “I see, that makes sense. I understand how you feel, for I have done similar things to my wife and sister. The only advice I can give is to never forget that it is for their own good, even if they would not see it that way.”

My ears perked up. “You have? I mean, I know you’ve been sheltering Candy, but it doesn’t sound like something this drastic.”

Airdrop nodded. “However, it is neither the time, nor the place to discuss such matters.” He thought about it for a second before adding, “Or perhaps it would be more adequate to say that I would prefer not to speak of it.”

“Alright, then.” I shrugged. “How long do we need to wait?”

“I do not know. They should arrive within the hour.” With that, he slowly descended, sitting down next to me.

This close, I noticed the dark bags under his eyes, and immediately remembered what he was going through. “So, uh, how is the foal?”

He managed to give me a weak smile. “Adrenaline Shot thinks that she will be alright, if we take care to keep her body temperature in check and don’t let her trot around too early. Still, Ah recon she ain’t out of the woods just yet, and that’s got me worried sick.”

I stared at him in shock, not because of what he’d said, but rather how he said it. He noticed, cleared his throat, and immediately added, “Apologies for that. I am a bit tired and slipped into my childhood accent by accident.”

I gently snorted in amusement. “I don’t mind, I’m not here to tell you how to speak.” After a short silence, I said, “What’s her name?”

“Moonwing. I wanted to call her Silverwing, given her coat’s colour, and the fact that my own name is Platinum Down.” I was a little curious about that, but decided not to interrupt. I’d get around to asking about it later. “However, Candy had good reason to avoid the name Silver. We almost named her Greywing, but at night I remembered the large hole in the cloud cover around here.” He pointed to the west. “Right there.”

I let my eyes wander over the sky, where he was pointing. I quickly spotted the hole. I wondered for a moment how I’d not seen it before, but that train of thought was broken when I realised that I could see the moon through it. It was but a thin crescent, but it looked exactly like the old descriptions.

After a while, Platinum continued, “When it crossed my mind that she had been born in moonlight, dim as it was, there was no longer a question.”

I nodded, and we fell quiet for a moment. While the silence between the two of us would normally have been quite comfortable, it only led my mind down the path of second thoughts again.

In an attempt to distract myself, I tried to continue with some small talk. “So, how did you learn to write like that?”

He shrugged. “I have been a courier for many years, and it occasionally happens that a letter gets damaged and becomes hard to read. In cases like these, I tend to recreate it to the best of my ability.” He gave me a sheepish smile that I couldn’t have imagined on him during our first encounter. “I promise I do not forge letters for a living.”

I laughed out loud at that, and so did he. The movement caused Iron to stir in her sleep, but she didn’t wake. Platinum gave me a look of concern, and I tried to reassure him, “She’s had the biggest dose of them all, but it took a while to kick in. If what you’ve told me about the drug is true, then she shouldn’t wake up anytime soon.”

His face told me that he wasn’t convinced. “Are you sure? How much did you put in her drink?”

I rolled my eyes. “More than enough. Three tea spoons, enough that she commented on the taste of the wine.” Saying that shot a pang of guilt through my heart. She’d known something was off, but trusted me enough to ignore her gut feeling.

“You are right, that should be enough.” However, his expression betrayed his concern. “In fact, given her build and species, it might outright kill her. Perhaps not though, if it truly took such a long time to kick in.”

While we could have killed her while she was out like this and then disposed of the body, neither of us would have wanted that. I wasn’t fond of getting her killed, even back during the height of my hatred for her. It just wouldn’t teach her anything. Not only that, we wouldn’t get anything out of it.

No, selling her off into slavery was the better way to go about. She didn’t deserve death, but maybe without her freedom she would need to learn to be a better pony. Platinum, on the other hoof, thought that killing her was too soft; that she deserved so much worse.

This sudden juxtaposition made my blood freeze, as I realised just what I was about to do. She’d trusted me… and I was about to sell her into a fate that some ponies consider worse than death. What did it matter that she would learn to be a better pony if she never saw freedom again?

I was not okay with that, and I couldn’t believe how long I’d avoided that thought.

Especially after our earlier heart-to-heart, how could I even still consider going along with this? She already understood she’d done things wrong. She was already learning to be a better pony. And instead of giving her that opportunity, I was just condemning her to a life as a slave. She wanted us to pull her up from the cliff she was hanging onto, and I was about to kick her off it!

I turned towards Platinum and waited for him to meet my gaze. When he did, his casual smile was replaced by a look of worry. “Platinum, I know this is very sudden, but I think I’ve changed my mind over these past few days. I just didn’t realise it until now.”

The next few seconds felt like an eternity. Shock, betrayal, anger all flashed across his face, as if I’d just killed somepony he loved.

“It’s just… I’ve talked to Iron, and I know she’s genuinely trying to change. I want to give her an opportunity to be better, even if it means taking a risk.” I sighed deeply. “I’m not completely sure, but I think Petal and Lockpick are willing to give her that, so why wouldn’t I? We will keep her out of trouble, and I swear on everything I hold dear that you will never hear of her misdeeds ever again.” I gave him my best reassuring smile.

He stared at me for a moment longer, but then his features relaxed. “Alright.” His voice was ice cold. “I cannot say that I appreciate having invested so much time for no reason, but I shall take your word for it.” Taking to the air, he kicked up a cloud of dust that almost made me cough. “I shall inform the slavers of the change of plans.” His tone was perfectly curt, but sent a spike of sheer terror through my heart.

I thought he’d understand!

Before I could respond, he was already flying away.

“Wait!” I called out in panic, but he didn’t react, simply continuing eastward. Perhaps he didn’t hear, but perhaps he was merely pretending.

Immediately, I started assuming the worst and strapped myself into my wheelchair. Over the next ten minutes, I somehow managed to get Iron, Lockpick and Petal onto the cart, despite my pitiful condition. After attaching myself to it, I started pulling as fast as I could.

I was slow. With only my forelegs providing strength, I just couldn’t pull it as fast as the others might have, especially not given my weakness. But it was all I could do. I had no idea if my panic was right, but I did not want to find out.

Only, I did find out. I wasn’t able to keep my top speed for anywhere near as long as I would have needed. Eventually, the slavers caught up.

Chapter 27 — A Work in Progress

A Work in Progress

I was sitting at the desk in my room. Mother had given me a really really big task. I had to read this big history book on the era before Nightmare Moon’s return, then write a short essay that still contained a lot of information.

It was scary, because I didn’t know where to start. But I wanted to make Mother happy, because when she was happy, I was happy.

Mother used to smile a lot more, but now she was always frowning. I tried asking her why, and she told me that an easy way to make her happy was to do well in my studies.

So I tried my very hardest, but sometimes it wasn’t enough, and Mother didn’t look happy.

Then there was the fact that Father might get angry if I didn’t get it right. I didn’t like it when he got angry. He could get very loud, and it made me want to hide.

And so I would work very hard and make sure I did it well!

I was watching Mommy fiddle with a box while explaining something to my big sis Sliver. Sliver was really smart, and mommy always praised her. I wanted to be like Sliver when I was bigger. Or better yet, be like mommy. But that would be difficult, since mommy was so awesome.

I didn’t understand what they were talking about, so things were getting boring for me, and I started looking around the room. Mommy said we would spend the night here and find as many things with lots of value as possible. I liked doing that. I liked shiny things very much, no matter how well they hid!

There! On top of that big, uh, piece of furniture! Something brilliant! I trotted towards it.

I put my front hooves on the second shelf and pushed myself off the ground with my back legs. Then, I repeated the same with the third, then the fourth.

Almost… there…

“Chippy! You’re gonna get hurt!” shouted Mommy. That startled me, and I lost my grip. I managed to regain my balance, but the furniture was starting to fall with me!

I fell, but suddenly Mommy caught me, then rolled with me. My head hit the ground, and it hurt, so I started crying.

A moment later, the entire shelf fell on top of Mommy. But Mommy was strong, and she didn’t cry, even though she looked like she wanted to. She shoved the shelf aside and kissed my forehead. I stopped crying, and she said, “Oh, Chip, please be careful… I couldn’t bear seeing you hurt.”

I was suddenly startled by a knock on my door. “It’s alright,” I whispered to myself. “I’m just reading. I’m allowed to read. I didn’t do anything wrong.” The words did very little to calm me down though.

The door to my room opened, and in stepped Mother, her gait as elegant as always. I relaxed a little, but the expression she wore still worried me.

“Sonata, oh my poor filly,” she said. “I’ve corrected your schoolwork.” I felt my heart sink. That could only mean I did poorly. “Is there anything I can do for you? Anything to make work easier?”

I climbed off my bed and walked towards her. “I… I don’t know, Mother.” I gulped. “Why, is my work really that poor?”

She slowly nodded. “It… it saddens me to see it. You are so smart, and yet you are terribly underperforming. Am I not helping you enough? Am I really that horrible of a mother?” The look in her eyes cut deeply.

“N-no, Mother, I swear it isn’t your fault. You are the best mother in the stable, and I love you.” I tried to give her a smile like she’d taught me, but in the moment I just wanted to cry.

“I’m not. I couldn’t possibly be, for what else would make you underperform so harshly? It must be something I did.” She met my gaze, her eyes sad enough to make me tear up. “I don’t even want to imagine the alternative, as it would be so much worse. It would mean that you don’t love me, and that is simply a thought I cannot bear.”

“O-of course n-not, Mother!” I could hardly keep my sobs under control.

“Then please try harder to find what’s causing you to struggle so. So that I can help you, just like I’m helping you by providing you with the best possible stable life.” She was right. She was giving me so much, and I still wasn’t good enough. What was I doing?

After a moment of silence, she added, “After all, if you are to step in your father’s shoes one day, you will need the best education possible, and I have been making sure you get it.” She paused in thought, then added, “Perhaps those novels you’ve been reading are a distraction?”

No! I didn’t want to lose them, they were so much fun!

But she was right… if I kept wasting my time, I could never live up to what I was meant to do…

My sisters and mom were all out, searching the neighbouring houses for anything valuable. It wasn’t fair that I was the only one who had to stay behind. Just because I was the youngest didn’t mean I couldn’t help. I could pick locks, carry things, and find shinies!

Oh, but I could do that from in here, too… There were piles of trash all around this house. The junk itself was quite varied; torn clothing, rubble, empty and mouldy cans, broken furniture, plastic wrappers, and many other small items, all stacked on top of each other.

The rest of the house was very clean though. Why would somepony clear most of the building except for those few piles? After a few seconds, the answer struck me. Somepony had already gone through here and had discarded everything they didn't find valuable.

Of course! My family and I weren't the only ponies looking through old stuff, so it made sense! But didn't that mean I wouldn't be able to find anything? Well, I wouldn't know if I didn't try!

Where to start, though? I walked around the apartment, taking a brief look at every pile of junk. At first, none of them struck me as particularly interesting; they were just trash, after all.

However, at some point I found one that stood out to me. At first I couldn't tell why, but then I realised that it was right up against a wall, and that at the very bottom there was a broken desk. Other piles usually had furniture haphazardly stacked on them, but this one looked like it had been started on top of that desk. Maybe there was still something in the drawers?

I had a good feeling about this. After a few minutes of digging through the trash, I was ecstatic to find a small, golden watch stuck between a few plates of wood. I didn't know how much it was actually worth, but it was pretty, and I'd found it all on my own. My chest swelled with pride, and I knew that this was the one thing I was really really good at.

The moment the door closed behind him, I couldn’t hold back my sobs anymore. My entire body hurt, and I felt horribly dirty.

I’d been doing so well with my schoolwork, and yet… What did I do to deserve this? Why was he always so angry? I’d even been careful to stay out of his hooves… Why come into my room and demand I talk to him?

I tried, I really did try to be as polite as possible, but even that wasn’t good enough. Why? I just wanted it to stop…

But not even Mother could do anything. He was the overstallion; he had the right to do whatever he needed. Or wanted, as long as he justified it.

Things like this were why my studies were so important; so that I wouldn’t abuse my power like he did. But why was he like this? Or was it really just my fault for not being good enough?

If only I was as resilient as Daring Do. Or as cunning. Or anything better than myself.

I picked up my copy of Daring Do and the Sapphire Statue and started reading. I could afford to, I was done with schoolwork for today, and I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything complex with how badly my bruises hurt.

I’d show them. Out of the four of us, I was the best at finding stuff, and by a lot. I knew my way around buildings, and I knew what to look out for. I wasn’t a kid anymore. I’ve had my cutie mark for almost two years now.

So why were they still treating me like I couldn’t do anything on my own? I’d be back in the morning with enough valuables to get us through the month, and they would have to accept I was grown up now.

We were staying in the Baltimare outskirts, and I’d been walking in the city proper now. The trip here had taken the better part of an hour now, but I was close to my destination.

My mom and sisters believed I’d gone to bed early, and wouldn’t notice I wasn’t there until the morning.

I turned a corner and saw it: the Bank of Equestria, Baltimore division. I knew it had been scavenged to death, but I trusted my ability to find what others had missed.

I entered the building and went to work. I managed to get through two rooms before finding myself muzzle to muzzle with a shotgun. I fell on my rump, and the mare floating it smirked before shouting, “Found him!”

I couldn’t comprehend what was happening. Why? How? Who?

She levitated out a chain and clamped four shackles around my hooves before adding a collar around my neck. This had to be a dream. It didn’t feel real. It couldn’t be.

A large green buck came into view. “Ah, perfect. By the way, I’m taking a bigger cut, since I’m the one who spotted him.”

The cyan mare rolled her eyes and sighed. “Fine, fine, you greedy cunt.”

I watched my father's corpse and had a weird feeling wash over me. On the one hoof, I felt happy that I'd finally gotten my cutie mark, and that I'd rid of my father once and for all. I'd paid him back for everything he'd done to me.

But on the other hoof, I felt like something had snapped inside of me. Something that could never go back to the way it once was. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling, just odd.

I’d done something inexcusable by stable standards, but in a way it felt oh so liberating. For once, I was the one deciding what happened. For once, I was the one in control. Not only could he never hurt me again, nopony could.

I couldn’t become a perfect overmare anymore. I doubted I could even become overmare at all. But in many ways, that was a good thing.

I was free, wasn’t I?

"If you want it so bad, why don't you pull the cart?" I said, turning away from the old mare who had bought me. Shortly after, the crack of a whip resounded in the town's streets, and a searing pain shot through my back.

The pain was worse than I'd imagined, and I gasped. I felt tears ready to well up, but did my best to hold them back.

"Quit whining," the old mare holding the whip said in a dangerous, low voice. "And start pulling."

I gulped down my fear and answered, in as venomous a tone as I could muster, "Or what, you'll tickle me again?" There was a moment of silence, quickly broken by another crack of the whip. This time, I was ready for it and didn't even budge. I turned around to face her. "What? Is that all you got, you old hag?"

She was my fourth owner, and it seemed like she was by far the most whip-happy. Unfortunately for her, I'd gotten used to it a while ago. Unfortunately for me, she seemed particularly skilled at inflicting pain.

She gritted her teeth, then swung her whip again, this time on the tip of my muzzle and hard enough to break skin. "Harder! Or are you scared your heart will give out? Too old to properly discipline a slave?"

She wouldn't kill me. She'd paid "good caps" for me. She couldn't even do anything that would break my body in any meaningful way, for risk of losing caps. She couldn't do anything to meaningfully hurt me, and I knew it.

I was lightheaded as I approached the caravan towards Dodge Junction. I hadn’t eaten anything substantial in a few days, and I was really starting to feel it.

One of the ponies pulling the cart—a brownish unicorn wearing kevlar barding—pointed her rifle at me. However, the buck next to her motioned her to calm down. “Wax, it’s just a filly, chill.” Turning to me, he asked, “Are you lost?”

I shook my head. “I’m looking for work. I’m a caravan guard, you see.”

He seemed confused by that, as ponies usually were. When I breathed an indignant sigh, the mare glared at him, and he quickly added, “I-I mean, why are you all the way out here? Wouldn’t you have better luck near the centre of town?”

I grimaced and shook my head again. “The other guards tend to chase me away if I approach their clients, because of my age and all that.” I didn’t let them respond as I clarified, “Even though I’m perfectly capable.”

Wax frowned, then tried to give a sympathetic little smile. “I wish we could, but we really can’t afford a guard at the moment. Things have been rough. I hope you understand.”

I just nodded, trying to keep my disappointment and worry from showing up on my face. As if on cue, my stomach gurgled.

“Oh, you poor thing,” said the stallion. “Let me give you some food, we can at least do that, can’t we?” He asked that last part of Wax, who nodded.

“I don’t need your pity…” I said in a voice entirely lacking any sign of the indignation I was feeling. How dare they? I was a fighter and a killer, and they were treating me like a poor little orphan! I could kill them both right now, and then who’d be the defenceless weakling that needs strangers’ help?

As Wax levitated out a piece of bread, my stomach gurgled again, much louder than before, and I simply accepted the food.

The wounds on my back burned horribly. Even when I wasn’t moving, the dozens of tiny cuts didn’t let me forget about them for even a second. And yet, the pain was the least of my worries right now. I’d failed.

Thankfully, the other slaves had left me alone for now. It was kind of surprising, really. I would have almost expected some to come gloat at me, or kick me while I was down. Instead, nopony came. In a way, it was disappointing; it might have helped me distract myself from the pain.

That lashing was by far the worst I’d ever received. At some point, I broke. The slaver had me gagged and blindfolded, as if he knew that the one thing that allowed me to endure anything was to be able to defy my master in any way I saw fit. I couldn’t do that, so all of the emotion that usually allowed me to stand up for myself instead got pent up until I couldn’t help but cry in pain and wish I could at least beg him to stop.

But I couldn’t even do that. In under a week, Fillydelphia had broken me where a dozen slavers and slaveowners had failed.

I wanted to tell myself that I wasn’t broken, that I hadn’t lost yet. That I’d just lost a battle, but the war was still going.

But I knew better. I was scared of him, and that was more than anypony had ever managed. Even if I resisted for a while longer, he’d immediately picked up how to shut down my ego, and there was no way I would win. The only way to win would be not to play, and the only way to manage that would be to take my own life before I couldn’t anymore.

But would I really be willing to commit suicide just for my ego’s sake?

Then again, my ego was everything I had, wasn’t it? Life without my feeling of self wouldn’t be worth it, not ever. Tomorrow I’d find something to throw myself under, or a tall place to jump from. He wouldn’t win. Today, though, I was too hurt to go anywhere.

“Hey,” came a soft voice from behind me. I jumped, then winced at the sudden pain all throughout my back. Near the window, I saw a light blue mare with an off-white brownish mane. “I-I’m sorry,” she stammered, “I didn’t mean to startle you. I thought you heard me since your ear moved, and, uh…” She shook her head. “Anyway… I saw what that slaver did to you, and I was worried since I knew you were new…”

I chuckled despite myself. “I’m alright, thanks. Far from the worst flogging I’ve been through.”

“Oh, that’s a relief,” she said. She lowered her tone and added, “I’m not supposed to be here, but I don’t think anypony saw me sneak in.” She gave me a wide grin. “I’m Cookie, by the way. What’s your name?”

Her smile was infectious, and I couldn’t stop myself from sharing it. “Pocket Watch.”

“Oh? I can’t say that’s what I would have picked for you. But then again maybe it’s your cutie mark?” The more she spoke, the more excited she got, before realising she was getting louder and louder and quieting down a little.

“I can’t say I would have picked ‘Cookie’ as your name either.” I chuckled, entertained by her antics.

I was awoken by the sound of a wagon passing nearby. I was really tired. Falling asleep had been difficult. On the one hoof, my stomach hurt, and on the other, I couldn’t stop worrying about not waking up.

I stood up and left the closet—I figured it was the safest place to sleep, as nopony would be able to see me from the outside—before making my way towards the living room where a large window gave a decent view of the street below. In fact, it was the reason I was staying here.

I took a peek through the window, and my heart missed a beat or three. How dare they.

How fucking dare they?

I’d make them pay. I’d show them. I’d make them regret it. My rifle floated through the gap in the window, and I aimed it at Fire Control, the earth pony guard who’d caused me the most issues.

I pulled the trigger and didn’t even give the cunt the time to regret not wearing a helmet. I saw the earth pony buck fall into a panic while Wax jumped for cover, aiming her rifle in my rough direction.

I closed the entire distance with a single teleport that sent a shockwave of agony throughout my horn and into the base of my skull. But that pain was nothing compared to the burning hatred in my chest. Wax didn’t react in time as I blew her brains out.

The earth pony buck cried out, but was cut off by my rifle’s round embedding itself into the concrete next to his head.

Given that he was unarmed I couldn’t stop myself from screaming at him, “Can’t! Afford! A! Guard! Huh?” I punctuated each word with a shot ever closer to him.

“P-p-p-please, y-you c-c-can have everything I own, just d-d-don’t k-k-kill me!” He had the entirety of five seconds to plead for his life before I put a round through his skull.

As his limbs fell limp, I started laughing. I couldn’t tell if it was happy, angry, sadistic, or all three at once. What I did know, however, was that I felt amazing. Why had I not done something like this before? This solved all of my issues! I wouldn’t have to go hungry, and I wouldn’t have to deal with ponies unwilling to give my skills the respect they deserved!

And this had been so much fun! Maybe I wouldn’t have had to deal with this situation if Candy was alive, but now that she was gone, I was free from her stupid rules! I would be my own pony now, and no one would ever tell me what to do again. This time, I would stick by that and wouldn’t allow anypony to change my mind!

A light blue mare sat at a desk in a tiny, cramped room. Papers were strewn all around her, covering what little of the floor was free from furniture. The walls were made of grey concrete, and the rush of air and hum of electricity dominated the soundscape.

She stood up and turned around, leaving the room through an open metal doorway. The corridor beyond it wasn’t much different from the cramped office, though she could now clearly see air ducts running along the ceiling.

Eventually, she made her way towards an open giant cog-shaped door. Stepping through it, she turned to the left, where she was greeted with the green glow of a terminal.

A pink glow spread over the keyboard, and she swiftly typed in her username, “arcane.spark”, alongside her password. Unfortunately, I was not able to pick up on it, as she typed too quickly for me to keep up.

What a shame, knowing her password would have saved us a lot of hassle.

Us? Who was us? Why did it matter? Did I know this mare?

Eh, whatever.

Then, she connected her PipBuck to the terminal and copied a script onto it before deleting it from the former. In a few swift telekinetic strokes, Arcane ran the script and opened a text file.

She typed, “Just started pushing the updates, testing them, and I can just tell this is going to be one long afternoon. Last time I updated the firmware, it took me the entire day to run the entire test suite, checking for defects one by one. I really wish I could find a way to automate it. Oh well, I should continue working. I can tell I’m not going to remember today in a week from now.”

In a few more keystrokes, she saved the file in a folder titled “work logs” before locking the terminal and turning away.

After she finally left the cave, she took a moment to watch the scenery. In front of her, a lush forest of conifers spread as far as the eye could see. Moss and branches covered the ground, and even though there wasn’t any grass where the trees cast their shadows, it still seemed incredibly alive.

The top of the hill, on the other hoof, was exposed to sunlight and overgrown with long grass and flowers of every colour. Arcane continued on her way, and when she saw the road a few dozen metres away, she stopped again and started casting a spell.

After a short channel, she appeared on the concrete and started trotting downhill. Before long, she teleported again. This cycle repeated until she eventually found herself near a railway.

She pulled out a shawl and covered her head before putting on a long coat that was definitely too warm for the weather.

She turned to her left and looked ahead. The railway tracks stretched out for kilometres on end in a straight line. She started channelling another spell, taking much longer to do so than any previous teleport.

With a loud crackle, she reappeared somewhere on the tracks. She looked back, checking the distance she’d travelled. Satisfied with the several kilometres she’d just crossed, she turned back towards New Detrot.

She trotted off the rails and started walking for a few minutes before repeating her spell. This cycle continued for another half hour, and Arcane’s horn was starting to feel sore.

I’d never imagined a horn could feel this way. Wait, why hadn’t I? Why did I not know what casting a spell was like? I was clearly inside a unicorn’s body.

She wasn’t me, that much was obvious, but who was I? Was this a dream? Part of me doubted it, but what knowledge did I have to draw from?

Eventually, she reached a train station, where she bought a ticket for the blue line. Even back then, the underground reeked of piss and mould.

‘Back then’? Had I been here already? But I didn’t recognise the name.

Even during the long trip towards the city, no answers came to me. I realised that I knew certain things, but had no recollection of how I’d learned them. I knew I was in Detrot, but I knew I’d seen it in a different time. I felt a weird nostalgia for my surroundings, but I didn’t know why. I knew who Arcane Spark was, but didn’t know why it mattered.

Finally, she stepped out of the traincar. She turned left and trotted forwards. With every step that she took, she seemed to become less certain of her destination. While she did occasionally look around, her hesitation mostly stemmed from a constant reluctance to take the next step. With every corner she turned, building façades grew dirtier, and graffiti more common.

This continued on for another quarter hour, before her gaze finally settled on a nearby building's sign, Detrot Gentlemare club. Two bucks dressed in risqué—though not quite indecent—outfits stood in front of it, looking around. One of them winked at her as he noticed her staring, and she quickly averted her gaze. As she passed by them and trotted into the building, she remained quiet as she stared at the ground.

Once inside, she hesitantly looked around. Wallpaper was peeling off the walls, while the tiled floor was cracked in many places. The other buildings she’d been in all seemed so new and clean, but this one could have been something from the wasteland.

Wait, wasteland?

Before I could continue that thought, an older stallion sitting at the reception waved her over. Still hesitant, she trotted over to him. “Now, now, there’s no shame in being here, young miss.” Arcane opened her mouth to protest, but was cut off. “Ponies have certain needs, and in today’s society, they can’t always be met through… conventional means.” He smiled. It was a mixture of gentle, understanding, and knowing, but also of the grin of a salespony who knew how to sell wingblades to a unicorn. “Now, do you have any preference? We got bucks of all sizes and tribes. Even have an elusive batpony; he’s quite handsome if I do say so myself.”

For some reason, his words set off alarm bells by the dozen in my mind, but I couldn’t tell why.

My own emotions were starkly contrasted with Arcane’s burning cheeks and embarrassed, almost sheepish demeanour.

“I was, uh… recommended… someone by the name of, uh, Pyrite. Who works here. Or so I’ve heard.” Her face grew even hotter.

What was such an important figure doing in a shitty brothel, blushing like a schoolfilly?

“Oh, apologies for any assumptions. Force of habit. Pyrite should be in today.” His eyes scanned down a list out of Arcane’s view. “It also happens that she’s free right now. Room two-oh-six.”

Arcane swallowed nervously and headed upstairs, where she found the room in question and knocked. “Come in,” said a sing-song voice.

Taking a deep breath, Arcane opened the door. Inside the room, she met the amber eyes of a golden yellow mare sitting upright on a bed, wearing just enough clothing to be lewd.

Pyrite smiled and waved her over. Spark took a hesitant step forward, before closing the door behind her. Pyrite patted the bed next to her and let herself fall to rest on her side. Spark reached the bed after what felt like an eternity of a slow, hesitant walk.

However, she didn’t settle on the bed right away. Instead, I felt her whole body lock up as she spoke up, “Are… you the one that… that I was told, to… uh, see?”

“Well, who else would I be?” Pyrite practically purred in response. While Arcane stumbled for words, cheeks on fire, Pyrite responded, “Now, what should Miss Pyrite do for you?”

“I… I, uh…” Arcane hesitated, before blurting out all at once, “I think I’m in the wrong place. I gotta go now.”

Before she even got to the door, Pyrite cooed, “Aw come on, Sparky, don’t leave.”

“Don’t call me that,” Arcane protested with a certain automation in her voice. Then, she furrowed her eyebrows and turned back around to face the golden mare. “How… do you know my name?”

Pyrite’s smile grew smug. “Arcane Spark. Thirty-seven years old. Born on Summer Sun Celebration in a tiny village a hundred kilometres east of Acornage. Birth complications were almost lethal, but left no lasting damage.”

Spark opened her mouth to rebut, but then simply mouthed ‘Oh’.

Pyrite simply grinned, then asked, “Yeah, I was told you might come. So, what did you want to talk about?” She patted the bed next to her.

“Here? And now? Isn’t the,” Spark lowered her voice to a whisper, “MOM going to find out?”

Pyrite gave a derisive laugh. “Oh please, they have too much on their plate to worry about a single whore making a few side bucks.”

“Alright…” Any sign of embarrassment was long since gone on Arcane. “Normally I’d be bolting at such a statement, but I trust my source on this.” She took a deep breath and sat back down on the bed. “There is a major vulnerability in Stable-Tec’s terminals.”

Pyrite’s eyes widened for a moment. “And what do you want in exchange for that knowledge?”

Arcane just shook her head. “Nothing. I just want this war to end as soon as possible.”

Pyrite raised an eyebrow. “Even if it means losing?”

Arcane stared at her for a short moment that seemed to stretch on for hours. “Especially if it means losing.”

The earth pony mare shrugged in response. “Alright, then. More profits for me.”

“Anyway, the flaw pertains to how passwords are stored on a terminal. By comparing a random guess to the stored, encrypted information—well it’s not the technical term but it’s good enough—you can extract information about how many letters your completely random guess has with the true password.”

Pyrite seemed to be thinking about the implications of this, so Arcane continued, “I would have brought my notes on it, but that would have been much too incriminating to be found with.”

“So wait, it allows you to guess a password, letter by letter? Can’t you do that normally? I mean—” Then, she mouthed a simple ‘Oh’.

“If you want, I can try to get you my notes, and—” Spark was cut off.

“No need. This should be good enough to at least catch my clients’ attention. They’ll decide what to do next.”

“How long have you been doing this?”

“Couple of years. I’ve stashed away enough money that I could afford to switch professions. But why bother when this is so easy?”

They continued chatting for a few more moments before Arcane finally excused herself.

The way back was the same as before, but I was slowly starting to think again. I still couldn’t figure out who I was, but I was remembering more and more things about Arcane now.

Eventually, she arrived at her cottage near Stable 4 and walked towards a mirror.

“Hey, me. Well, I guess it’s possible that you aren’t me, but in that case I’m fucked anyway. The reason I’m going to extract this memory should be obvious by now. The reason I’m going to keep it in a memory orb instead of destroying it is because I know my actions will lead to the death and suffering of many ponies, and I don’t want to take the easy way out. I don’t think I need to say it, but if you watch this memory orb too soon, just get rid of the memory, alright?”

I… was I alive? Or was this merely the afterlife? No, it was hard to imagine my throat would be this sore if I no longer had a physical body. No, I definitely had survived, somehow.

I was riding on something larger than myself. Probably a pony. Probably Iron. Yeah, she’d probably been the one to save me.

I couldn’t tell how long passed, as I constantly drifted in and out of consciousness. I didn’t have the strength to open my eyes, but I was also too sleepy to care. Over time, I woke up more and more, eventually realising just how close to her I was.

Normally, being this close to a mare would have made me flush, but I was way too exhausted for my mind to wander in such places. Besides, this was Iron. Sure, she was strong and dependable, but she was still a murderer, an ex-raider, and a serial drug addict.

Still, warmth and support felt nice and comfortable, no matter the source.

My mind briefly turned to the series of dreams I’d had, but forming coherent thoughts was getting harder by the second.

I kept drifting in and out of sleep, thoughts wandering like in a fever dream. None of them stuck with me, leaving me to only remember the general feeling. It was almost serene in a way. Time passed, but my mind simply continued to drift.

I wasn’t even feeling well, I just didn’t have the energy to feel bad.

Only when Iron set me down did I finally have the strength to let out a tired groan.

“Cherry? You awake?” she asked in a gentle tone uncharacteristic of her, before taking a step back.

I opened my eyes, and as the brightness overwhelmed me, I let out another low moan. “Sort of. Have been for a while, but also not. Been dreaming really weird shit.”

Through my blurred eyesight, I saw her moving closer towards me again, before gently wrapping her hooves around my torso and leaning close to me. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” These words, spoken no louder than a whisper, carried so much more emotion than I was used to from her.

“Me too, me too.” Part of me wanted to poke fun at her for getting emotional. Nothing major of course, just to lighten the mood. But I just didn’t have it in me to joke, instead just accepting the hug. “How long was I out?”

“About sixteen hours, according to my PipBuck.” She sighed. “I… I thought you were gone. You weren’t breathing, and then I blacked out. But when I came to, you seemed to be stable. I didn’t know if I was imagining things.” I could feel her breath on my neck as she spoke, but didn’t have the energy to be grossed out.

When I leaned into her embrace, I realised just how little my wounds hurt. That wasn’t to say they didn’t, just… My throat didn’t feel like it had been torn out. It didn’t even feel like it had been fixed up by a potion. It felt like I was recovering from a flu at the very worst.

Iron’s voice broke me out of my thoughts. “I swear, I won’t let you get hurt like that, never again.” She stroked my back, an act that normally would have been unpleasant, coming from her. Instead, it was even soothing. Maybe it was because of those dreams? My opinion of her hadn’t changed that much, had it?

I sighed. “And I’m sorry for first insisting on coming along and then picking one of the more dangerous places. I thought that just because you’re strong, you can do anything. I didn’t bother listening to my own gut when it told me this was a bad idea. You really didn’t do anything wrong.”

Now that my eyes had gotten accustomed to the outside light, I could see we were on top of an elevated platform, surrounded from every direction by utterly ruined buildings, stretching out further than I could see. A scavenger’s paradise.

I didn’t even notice Iron had fallen quiet for a moment. “I…” She let go of me and turned around. “I fucked up, and I think this is my fault. If I hadn’t been going through Mint-Al withdrawal, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt. I should have just taken another instead of risking both our lives.”

I shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference.” A thought crossed my mind, and I paused for a second. “I guess I can’t even fully blame myself for this. In the end, there’s a good chance we’d have ended up under the hill anyway. In the end, it may be true that we both screwed up, but…”

“It’s Star Seeds’ fault we ended up in this situation in the first place,” she finished for me before turning around.

When I met her gaze, my heart stopped. The smile on her muzzle was genuine, but my blood ran cold regardless. “Your… your eyes…” I muttered.

More than anything, she looked perplexed. “What… about them?”

Now I was confused as well. “Your pupils… they’re slit.”

Shaking her head, she mouthed a quiet ‘What?’

“You know, like a cat’s, or a snake’s, or…”

She shushed me with a motion of her hoof. “I know what you mean, it’s just that…” I saw her shudder. “I really don’t want to believe it. Or think about it.” For a few moments, she looked utterly terrified, but snapped herself out of it with a shake of her head. “Let’s… talk about something else. You said something about weird dreams?”

I gulped and nodded. “I don’t remember any specifics at all, but I think I dreamed about my foalhood.” I furrowed my brows. “And about yours, I think. I didn’t really notice during the dream itself, but I was growing up in a stable at some point…” I really didn’t want to let her bottle up whatever she was feeling. She had a bad habit of doing so, and I didn’t like to leave my friend like that. However, now wasn’t a good time to have such a deeply emotional talk.

“My condolences,” Iron deadpanned before cracking a small smile.

I rolled my eyes. “Anyway, after that I had an even weirder dream. It’s especially bizarre how precise everything was. I was a stable technician mare, before the bombs fell. I ran some kind of script on a terminal before going to Old Detrot.” Iron looked more and more confused with every word I said and seemed to want to get a word in.

After hesitating for a moment, she said, “And then you went to a whorehouse and gave up an important secret?”

My jaw dropped. “I…” I muttered, leaving my mouth open. “I… How? What?” I pulled myself together. “How the fuck do you know that?”

She dug into her saddlebags and produced a small crystalline orb, tinted blue and black. I recognised it as the one we’d found on Foal Mountain. How was that related? She answered the question before I could vocalise it, “Because that’s exactly what happened in this memory orb. I don’t know how or why, but you ended up viewing it with me.”

None of this made sense. “And you really have no idea?”

She sighed. “It might be related to why my pupils are weird now. I’ll tell you on the road since it’s a long story. Can you walk?”

When she got up, I could have sworn she stood even taller. I tried standing, but my front legs buckled out from under me.

After picking me up and resuming our journey, she said, “Have you ever heard of alicorns in the wasteland?”

While Cherry spoke to me, I pulled on my cigarette, finishing the rest of it before tossing it out of the window of my quarters. I closed the window with my telekinesis. The night was warm enough to keep it open for a while, but it was starting to grow chilly inside.

“Thanks, it was really getting cold here,” Cherry said. “Where was I? Right, I know. In the end, it’s because of Cookie that I somewhat accepted this name. She really liked calling me that.”

Over the past few days, we’d mostly just been resting. Cherry was recovering from his wounds while I was taking care of slower business in town, like informing Star Seeds I finally had a way into the stable. He’d been very pleased, but also quite surprised. Not even he had heard of memory orbs locked behind a specific thought; that of her holding her daughter. I’d figured it out during my very last Mint-Al high.

I’d also been dealing with the consequences of that for the past couple of days. There’d been a constant mental fog on my mind ever since our trip to Detrot. I couldn’t tell if it was just the Mint-Al withdrawal, or if Unity had something to do with it.

I was doing a bit better in that regard, and the fact that my pupils had gone back to normal made me believe that, whatever had happened, it was now over. Though, on the other hoof, I was pretty sure I’d grown at least half a dozen centimetres.

I realised I hadn’t been listening to Cherry at all and snapped myself out of my thoughts.

“So since some nights in Fillydelphia can get really cold, we ended up cuddling up really close to each other, and one thing led to another, and, you can figure the rest.” Cherry’s blush was visible even through his red coat. Before I could react, he added, “Shit, sorry, you probably don’t wanna hear about that.” He really didn’t hold his alcohol well.

“It’s fine, I think I can handle a little bit of bragging.” I giggled before pausing for a moment. We’d come back from Old Detrot just a few days ago. Cherry had already regained a good portion of his strength, but given how much of a lightweight he was… “I think you’ve had enough for now. I know you have that whole earth pony thing going, but you still haven’t completely recovered.”

“Come on,” he slurred, “I only had two drinks, same as you!” Except that I’d hardly even registered them, while this was clearly the most he’d ever drank.

Then his brain seemed to catch up with my words. “And I wasn’t bragging, I was just—” He looked away, face scrunched up. “Well what about you, then? Why don’t you ‘brag’? Tell me about your first time! Was it with that group of raiders? They’re pretty much constantly banging.”

I felt all mirth disappear from my face, and it took him a moment to notice. I’d already opened my mouth to respond when he caught on and continued digging himself into a hole, “Don’t tell me that you went and raped someone for your first time, and only now realised it was fucked up?”

“No,” I replied in a slow, annoyed voice. I couldn’t blame him for thinking it, so I just sighed. “I’m barely even into that stuff to begin with, too many bad experiences.”

Cherry’s eyes went wide. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. It’s fine, I understand,” he blurted out at a barely intelligible speed.

“It’s,” I hesitated for a moment, “...fine. It is a bad topic, but one I’ve been meaning to bring up at some point. You know, as part of the whole ‘opening up’ thing.” I sighed, finishing my glass and starting to pour myself another.

Noticing this, Cherry proudly professed, “That’s your third, and last!” How many times was his mood going to swing? And was he happy that he’d remembered to bring it up?

I had asked him to stop me at three glasses, but I was almost regretting that decision now.

“Is it? That’s a shame.” That same old voice inside me said I needed to be way more drunk for this, but I knew he was right. I talked as I poured, “So, anyway, my first consensual time was a few years ago, right here in New Detrot.”

He winced and opened his mouth before scowling and looking away. After a short silence, he mumbled, “I’m sorry to hear that…”

“Eh.” I shrugged. “It is what it is. The culprit is long dead, so there’s really not much to do. Still don’t like talking about it, though.”

“Well, if that’s the reason you didn’t want to talk about it…” He hesitated for a moment. “Now that it’s out of the way, what about your, uh, proper first time? Surely that was better, right?”

I stared at my hooves for a good minute, ignoring the urge to finish the bottle before taking a deep breath. “In a way. In others, it was worse, since I can only blame myself for those shitty memories.” I gave a bitter, cynical laugh. “Fuck, I don’t even like mares.”

I took a large sip of wine, not even appreciating the taste, just the way it burnt on the way down. “I was just really drunk and sad, and wanted somepony to hold me.”

I continued talking about Airwaves for a while, telling him about some of the things that led up to my night with her. Thankfully, I didn’t break down crying this time; it was more of a calm regret that flowed through me as we sat, though I still shed a few tears.

By the time I finished my drink, Cherry had gotten up and lain down next to me, leaning against my side. I didn’t feel like telling him off; he’d probably regret it tomorrow anyway.

When I finally got to the end of that story, we sat in silence for a few moments before Cherry broke it. “That seriously sucks… I’m very sorry you had to go through that.” He furrowed his brow. “But I don’t think you should blame yourself at all.”

Confused, I turned to look at him.

Catching my look, he explained himself, “Well, you were young as all hell, weren’t you? We all do dumb shit as foals, and it’s the adults’ moral duty to make sure we get out of it unscathed.” With every word, he was getting more and more pissed off. “Or, at the very fucking least, not take advantage of a sad and lonely filly!”

I frowned and tilted my head from side to side. “Been a while since I saw myself as a filly, so that’s really not how I see it.” I shrugged. “Yeah, at first I wanted to kill her, but I realised that wouldn’t do anything to help me. I think that was the first time I recognised that I couldn’t fix all my problems with a bullet or two.”

“I’m… sorry.” He leaned against me, and I embraced him, taking in the comfort.

We sat like this for a minute, until I spotted him open and close his mouth. After a few moments, he did it again.

“Do you have something to say?”

“I… uh…” Cherry said, avoiding my gaze. “I was wondering—and feel free to tell me off if I shouldn’t be asking about this. But…” He looked me in the eyes. “I take it there’s more? Since you specified that one thing, you know…?” What was he talking about? “I take it it was in Filly?” Oh, he meant the less-than-consensual part.

I tried to shrug, but the motion came off as more of a spasm. “I mean, are there any slaves who didn’t go through it?” I was deflecting the question, but I knew I would have to tell him sooner, rather than later.

Cherry didn’t reply at first, instead leaning into me further. “I’m so sorry to hear that.” His voice was barely above a whisper. Any quieter, and my ears wouldn’t have picked it up. “I thought I had a shitty life, but in under a year you went through so much hardship.” He let out a long, drawn out sigh. “I’m sorry. For thinking you’re just like them. For thinking you didn’t know what it’s like. In fact, I’m the one who doesn’t know what it’s like.”

I squeezed him just a little. “Water under the bridge.” Then, the implication of what he said struck me. “Wait, you mean, in all these years, you never once had an owner get a bit too, uh, friendly with you?”

Cherry slowly shook his head. “I… don’t think it’s as common as you believe. Or maybe I was particularly lucky.” He sighed. “I know this might sound a bit shitty, but I’m really glad it didn’t. I tried imagining the scenario in my head, and how I’d defy my master until the last second. Or how I’d use that opportunity to kill her and escape.” He shrugged. “Never happened. At some points I was hoping for it so that I could prove that nothing they did could hurt me. In hindsight, it probably would have completely broken me. Don’t know how you managed to remain yourself.”

I held in a bitter laugh. “I wasn’t too bad, really. It was kind of gross at first, but at least it didn’t hurt.” Just saying that out loud sent a shiver down my spine. “Eventually I got so used to it that I found it… relaxing.”

At Cherry’s horrified expression, I added, “In hindsight, that’s so much worse; knowing that he had me wrapped around his hoof, just like that…” I shuddered.

Cherry finally tried to pull me into a full hug. For a moment, he ended up loosely hanging off of me instead before realising he didn’t have the body coordination to hug someone taller than him right now. Then, he went back to leaning into me. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was simply the fact that we had gotten closer, but this didn’t feel nearly as awkward as I would have expected.

We continued talking like that for a few more hours. I slowly opened up further and further, feeling more and more miserable with every single sentence. And yet, the awful urge to drink just wasn’t there, or at least it was easy to ignore.

Finally, during a long silence, Cherry dozed off.

The slaver ushered me into the old hangar, where a weak scent of cigarette smoke floated through the air. I’d gotten my back leg injured today, and was supposed to rest up for about a week. Back in Filly, they woulda just whipped me harder. Frankly, it surprised me that the punishment for causing too much trouble in Fillydelphia was getting sent to a place where you’re treated better. Though then again, it was definitely a case of slaves being more valuable here. They couldn’t just let us die, especially given how harsh the conditions were.

In the corner of my eye, I saw some movement, and noticed the Guard Dog lying on one of the cleaner mattresses with a cigarette in her mouth, reading one of her books. A few beds from her slept her assistant. His name was Cherry, if I remembered correctly. As the slaver shut the door behind me, I heard a lock click closed.

I took a step forward, hesitating for a moment. I’d been wanting to talk to her for a while now, despite what Lucky Break had told me. I knew it was a terrible idea, since fighting her would only lead to ruin for me, regardless of who won. Still, the mare’s scars, the look in her eyes, the scowl that seemed etched into her face even when she wasn’t doing anything. All of that made me think of her as one of my people. There was some bandit in her, no matter how she tried to present herself.

Back in Filly, I would have just seen her as a rival and gone out of my way to fight her. Now, I was just lonely, and somehow she seemed like my best bet. The other slaves were alright, but talking to them made me feel like a stranger, no matter what.

The only times I’d seen Guard Dog show any other emotion was when she was reading, and right now she seemed just as pissed as usual, so at least she wasn’t really all that invested. Since this might be one of the less bad moments to chat her up, I walked towards her and sat down on the mattress next to hers. “Hi.”

She seemed surprised by that, even though she had obviously been keeping her eye on me. “Hey.” There was no anger in her voice, only barely noticeable curiosity. Or maybe something else, I was never really good at reading ponies.

It was then I realised I hadn’t planned anything to say. I didn’t want to get on her bad side, though not because she scared me—in fact, she seemed weaker than the last time I’d seen her—but simply because I actually kinda wanted to befriend her. Oh, right, I could mention that previous thing, if only to buy time. “Been a while since I last saw you.”

“Yeah, had a rough mission or two.” She nicked one of the pages before closing the book. “Sorry if this is out of the blue, but I’ve been wondering for a while now… How did you become a slave? Kinda rare to see one of your kind in shackles.”

“Frankly? I don’t know. I kind of just woke up all bruised up in a cart full of other slaves, and they took me to Shattered Hoof, then eventually Filly.” I had some speculations for what might have happened, but I doubted she wanted to hear my paranoid ramblings about the past.

Dog nodded. “I see. You a Talon before that?”

I shook my head. “Just a lowlife bandit. Then I tried to get my life together, but ended up a slave for my fuckin’ efforts.”

She gave a low, dark chuckle and her features softened. Without her serious expression, she seemed a good bit younger. “Hah, if it isn't the story of my fucking life.”

Despite my previous attempts to remain cool, I couldn’t stop myself from exclaiming, “Hah, knew it! I can recognise that look from a mile away.”

She snorted and actually smiled. “I wasn’t exactly a raider for long, mostly a merc and hired gun. Though given the contracts I took on, I might as well be a raider the whole time.”

I found myself chuckling. “Yeah, it’s a lifestyle, not a job description.”

She shared my laugh, but her expression returned to a somewhat serious one, though still a lot more casual than her usual one. “It’s a good thing you chatted me up, then, ‘cause I wanted to talk to you about something else.” I nodded for her to continue. “Seeds allocated me a Talon for my work, but she got herself killed. Was the kind of inexperienced chick that thinks she’s ready for the wasteland just because she’s a trained merc.” Dog shook her head in disappointment. “But anyway, I doubt I’m going to get a replacement since we’re already tight on security personnel. On the other hoof, I could really use someone else for my next task.”

I could see what she was hinting at. “And you think he’d give you a slave instead?”

“Maybe. I know that he sees you as necessary expenses. If you accept, I'll ask him about it.” She tapped her hoof on her mattress. “In the near future, we only really have two jobs to do, and one of them involves finishing our previous one and searching in the Detrot metro. They’re dangerous enough that I really don’t wanna do it alone.”

“You’re telling me I can get out of hauling scraps all day, and get to see some action? That’s not even a question, of course I’m fucking in.” I was in the moment she mentioned fighting.

Dog gave a mild chuckle. “Figured you’d say something like that, but still wanted to ask.”

“I mean, it’s not like I could have said no if a slaver ordered me to do it.”

“And potentially give you another reason to stab me in the back?” Dog shook her head. “No thanks. I’d rather have someone who wants to do the job.”

“Good enough reason, I guess.” I shrugged. “What’s your ‘next task’ all about?”

“Taking over a stable. Your job would mostly be to watch my back while I prepare it. We’re probably gonna have to make the trip at least three times to get everything,” she explained. “Though depending on how we go about it, you could also help with the coup itself. Not much is set in stone yet.”

Oh, that was kinda lame. “So mostly walking, huh? Whatever, beats hauling concrete.”

Dog nodded. “By the way, what’s your name? Don’t wanna keep calling you ‘griffin’.”

“Oh, right.” I shifted to my side and extended my right hand to her. “I’m Grace.”

“Well, good to meet you, Grace.” She shook my claw with her hoof. “I’m Iron Sights. You can call me Iron or Sights, whichever is fine.”

I immediately raised an eyebrow. “Huh? But I thought—”

“That my name was Guard Dog? That’s just what the slaves call me. Can’t exactly say I blame ‘em, since to them I’m just another pony between them and their freedom. But nah, my actual name is Iron Sights.”

The name rang a bell, but I couldn’t quite place it. I’d definitely heard about her at some point or another. Or maybe I’d heard of somepony with the same name. Why did ponies have to name themselves after everyday objects so often?

We spent maybe an hour about each of our lives as bandits. Even though it was not something I was proud of, I'd come to terms with it, and that it would always be a part of me.

She on the other claw seemed to be a lot more regretful about it. She didn’t dwell too much on her regrets, but I could see it on her face every time she brought up an atrocity she committed. Though with the way she talked, I could definitely tell she had enjoyed it as much as she now regretted it.

Unlike me, she wasn’t born into it, but instead spiralled downwards after she got her cutie mark.

Overall, it was a surprisingly nice conversation, because we were each able to talk about our actions without a hint of judgement from the other party. Of course, we were still strangers who’d just met, so I didn’t tell her everything about my life, and I doubted she did, either.

At some point, Cherry woke up and joined in on the conversation, though by then it was more small talk than anything else.

Finally, Iron decided to go back to reading, but she agreed to lend me a book as well when I asked.

I was excited to finally get some practice again!

I was pacing in my quarters, worry gnawing at my mind. Gloam should have been back hours ago already.

I shook my head.

No, she had to be fine. A few hour long delay was well within the plan, and there was no reason she would have failed.

The plan was very simple, after all. She was to tail a salvage operation and effectively escape Fillydelphia using her shadow magic. I had to hope she wouldn’t ditch me, but given that a single word from me could get her to kill somepony, I doubted she would betray me like that. For better or for worse, I was her entire world.

After that, she was to quietly take out some of the slavers and guards, and make it seem like the slaves had rebelled and were attempting to flee. Then, she would come back. Easy, right? Couldn’t possibly go wrong.

Oh, who was I kidding? I’d banked on something extremely risky, just for my personal gain. Well, I’d done it for Petal and Banter, but it was still much too high a risk to be worth the payoff.

Sweet Celestia, what if something happened to her? The poor mare didn’t deserve to die for my greed. Why did I have to agree to Crow’s plan?

On paper, it was sound. I would stage an escape attempt, and he would be ready to catch the escaped slaves. With the way Fillydelphia worked, this would mean they would become his after he recaptured them. My side of the deal would be to get half a dozen for my own stock.

When he got me to agree to it, it sounded so good. However, now I really wasn’t sure. I was the one taking all the risks, and I wouldn’t even profit as much as he. If Gloam was caught, the connection to me would be made immediately, and I would have no way to prove that he was in league with me. Not to mention, she was actually risking her life.

As I trotted in circles, so did my thoughts. I’d been at this for Celestia knew how long, and just couldn’t convince myself to sit down.

I lost track of time and didn’t dare to look at any clock. What if everything had gone down the drain? As long as I didn’t know exactly how late it was, I couldn’t tell how likely it was that I was screwed.

No, it was better to assume it would all work out. Everything would go well, and I would get my own small workforce. They would produce things we could sell once we finally escaped. I knew where I could find an unused reloading bench, but I would need to be a bit more resourceful when it came to other things.

I could probably get my hooves on a few sewing machines if I looked hard enough. And, uh, maybe some chemistry stuff to make gunpowder. Yeah, I had no idea how that stuff worked.

Point was, I would be able to create a small stash to give us a head start once we left Fillydelphia. But then… What would I make of my stock? Escaping with three other ponies was already hard enough on its own, but nine? Practically impossible.

In a way, working for me was already a much better alternative than for the vast majority of slavers in Fillydelphia, even if it was only for a limited time.

Then, the realisation of what I’d just thought hit me. Sweet fucking Celestia, I was really becoming more and more like Crow. Was I actually trying to justify slavery just because it ‘wasn’t as bad when I did it’?

I couldn’t finish that train of thought as I noticed Gloam, standing in the corner of the room, waiting for me to acknowledge her presence. How quiet she could be scared even me. However, try as she might, she couldn’t hide how upset she was.

“Hey, Gloam. How did it go?” I asked as casually as I could.

“Good evening, master. Everything went according to plan. Master Crow Call will send you your part of the deal tomorrow.” She tried to keep her tone flat, but by now I knew the signs that something was wrong.

I walked over to my bed and waved her over. When she sat down next to me, I started gently patting her mane. “You did well, Gloam. You’ve helped me a lot, and I must thank you for getting it right.” This wasn’t the first time I was praising her, but it was the first time I was showing her this kind of affection.

In truth, I knew why she was so upset. The first time she’d killed in my name, it had been in self-defence. An enslaved raider had somehow gotten his hooves on a knife and stumbled into us while we were away from any crowds that could have saved us. Luckily, the raider didn’t spot Gloam in time to avoid her knife. That day, I’d decided to make an effort to find a proper gun, but to no avail.

Today, though, was different. She’d killed those slavers in a calculated move. I'd made her do it. I'd turned an innocent mare into a killer. All for my own benefit.

I felt her relax under my touch as I continued to whisper words of praise and gratefulness into her ear.

She really didn't deserve this. She was such a poor, sweet thing, and I was just exploiting her. I really wasn't a single step above Crow anymore. I was just treating her well to make myself feel better. There was nothing morally good about how I treated those below me, and it was time I stopped lying to myself.

I was a shitty pony, and there was no use hiding it. Instead, I'd just have to distract myself from that horrible truth. Luckily for me, there was a pony here who needed distraction just as much as I did, and I was tired of pretending like I was better than anypony.

“I think I should give you a proper reward, shouldn't I?” I said as I pushed her onto her back, while my gut tied itself into a knot.

At that moment, I hated myself more than anything. I hated myself more than I hated Crow. I hated myself more than I'd hated my mother. I hated myself more than I hated this goddesses forsaken city. I hated myself more than I hated that pegasus.

But that would soon melt away.

She was significantly older than me, but I was allowed to want this. Bad ponies were allowed everything, after all. Yes, I would be free of the shackles of decency.

I gave Gloam my best gentle smile before I leaned forward and kissed her on the neck.

Author's Note

One of those chapters I had to hand off to my editor before I was 100% happy with it. But I can't let perfectionism get in my way.

This chapter was originally going to be one block, along with 23 and 25. That would have been a 24k word monster with zero thematic cohesion, so I’m glad I split it up.

Also, you’ll notice I got new cover art (finally!). It’s not the piece I originally commissioned, but that artist is MIA.

2023 Etyco: Damn, looking back this is probably my favourite chapter. I just love the dream sequence so much.

Chapter 28 — A Blind Mare's Childish Wishes

A Blind Mare's Childish Wishes

I sighed as I turned the sheet over, placing it on the second pile in front of me. Filling out quarterly reports was such an extremely tedious task. It took the better part of a week, four times a year. On top of that, splitting the workload over a month just wasn’t wise, as anything big happening could force me to redo all of it.

Worst of all, I wasn’t allowed to have anypony help me or do it in my stead. No, this was a job for the overmare alone, and it was part of why I’d never wanted that job. Still, it was my duty, and I would do it until I could train a proper replacement.

Naturally, that thought was enough to remind me of my failed attempts at having another child. I had to remind myself of what I knew; I wasn't the youngest mare anymore, so it made sense that conceiving wouldn't succeed immediately. Still, I couldn't help but regret not having started sooner. But then again, it would have—

My train of thought was interrupted by a few knocks on the door. Who could that be? Everypony knew not to bother me when I was working. I struggled to think about what could be urgent enough to interrupt the quarterly report of all things. "Yes?" I calmly called out, not willing to show even a drop of my worry and anger.

The door opened, and in trotted Cotton Candy, her usually voluminous white mane drooping slightly with grease. Couldn't that mare take better care of herself? She was supposed to be one of the faces of our stable’s government, and she dared look like some common worker freshly out of her shift?

Before I could ask her what she wanted from me, somepony else trotted into the room, causing a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. No, not somepony. A griffin, larger than even the biggest ponies I'd seen, her face covered in half a dozen small scars. Her predatory eyes glanced about the room, only briefly stopping on me. I felt myself shiver, unable to suppress it. Hopefully, nopony noticed. "What is the meaning of this, Cotton?"

She didn't answer immediately, looking over to the door where a tall unicorn had just appeared. No, not just any unicorn, but my own daughter. I'd taken a few long seconds to recognise her, but I could hardly blame myself. Not only stood she as tall as the griffin, she was even more hideously scarred. Fur was missing on the left side of her muzzle, instead replaced by a grizzly burn scar. A cut ran along her right eye, and most of her left ear was missing. Even her mane was a disgrace to somepony of my lineage, cut to a horribly utilitarian short mohawk. On her left foreleg, I spotted a PipBuck delta, the same model as Concerto had before his… disappearance. Most likely it was the exact one.

As she trotted into the room, she looked disinterested, as if none of this mattered. Then, when she finally met my gaze, her muzzle turned to a confident smile. "Hello, Mother."

“Oh, so you dare show yourself here after what you did.” I tried to sound calm, but couldn’t stop myself from hesitating. What in the name of every overmare was going on here? “What do you want?” I didn’t wait for her reply as I turned to Cotton, “What is the meaning of this?” Finally, I pointed at the griffin. “And who is that?”

Sonata waited, a small, calm, but arrogant smile on her face. She was playing a game and wanted me to know it. Surely she didn’t believe she could beat me using my own tricks, did she?

“That would be Grace, Iron’s bodyguard,” Cotton said solemnly. “As for why we are here, I believe it is best to wait until the others arrive.”

I lifted an eyebrow. “The others? Surely you are not implying what I think you are.”

“But I am. Your hearing will be fair, though evidence is stacked against you.” She shook her head. “I will try my best to be unbiased, but if I find out that your actions did lead to my daughter’s death, so Celestia help me, I might just gun you down on the spot.”

Lovely, threats of physical violence. “I see.”

We waited in silence. Part of me was curious about what had happened to Sonata for her to end up in such a pitiful state, but I couldn’t show any signs of weakness now. If I did, this would be the end of me.

Eventually, Crescent Hammer arrived before soon being joined by Iodine Pill. She shut the door behind her, and Cotton Candy spoke up.

“Alright, let’s get started.” Everypony but myself nodded, while I simply looked annoyed. “Brass Shine, you are accused of being an accomplice in the abuse of your own daughter. What do you have to say for yourself? Additional charges include conspiring to overthrow the previous overstallion and exploiting the judicial system for your own benefit.”

This was bad. If they managed to prove any of this, I was out. Even if they just showed that I was complacent, it would be enough. Normally, mere complacency wouldn’t be a huge crime, but given my position, this could be used as a reason to oust me. “What brings on such ridiculous accusations?” I knew what, but I needed them on the defensive if I wanted any shot at fixing this.

“I think it would be quite obvious that it is due to the filly coming back to the stable,” retorted Iodine in a dry tone.

“So what, the testimony of a murderer is now worth as much as the word of the overmare? Is it not obvious she wants something out of this? Perhaps she blames me for something I could not have fixed.” I shot her a deathly glare, but she just smiled all the more serenely. “Or perhaps she’s trying to sew chaos for her own benefit.”

Crescent hung his head in disappointment. “Come on, Brass. It pains me to see you like this, just tell the truth, and we’ll figure it all out together.” Good, he believed I was innocent, even if not completely. It meant I had some room to manoeuvre.

I shook my head and sighed. “I’m sorry, dear, but those allegations are beyond ridiculous. I utterly refuse to take them seriously for even a second.”

He didn’t reply, instead letting Cotton Candy speak up. “Brass, we’ve had our doubts for a long while. It struck me as weird that you waited for that long before doing anything about the situation with your ex-husband; you’re not a weak mare, so you wouldn’t be intimidated by Concerto. What’s worse, you two completely isolated Iron. It just did not add up; we let it go because we knew it would be counterproductive if Iron was already gone, but now that we have her testimony? Things aren’t looking good.”

“So, you are saying it is a hunch?” I lifted an eyebrow. “Oh, right, I forgot you are also counting the murderer’s word against mine.”

Cotton just rolled her eyes. “Look, let us take a look into your terminal, at your journal. That should prove your innocence, right?” Why did I have to tell her about that stupid journal? But that was years ago, how did she still remember it?

“I refuse. That is private to me.” They really had no concrete evidence, and ponies wouldn’t like it if they ousted me on a hunch.

“As expected, then. We shall proceed as discussed,” said Cotton.

“‘As discussed’? So you were plotting this?” I glared at her, but she just looked disappointed.

She gently shook her head. “We talked a little when Iron first arrived, six hours ago.”

“This mare has been in the stable for six hours, and nopony thought to inform me?” I said in a low, dangerous tone.

However, it didn’t have the intended effect, as Cotton calmly replied, “It didn’t seem worthy of your time; I know how much you hate being interrupted while working on that report, and I didn’t want to bother you.”

I had to actively stop myself from scowling. How fucking dare they?

Cotton pointed to Sonata. “Anyway, would you do us the honour?”

She nodded, and her horn glowed. Suddenly, I felt a pressure in my head. “What exactly are you doing, pray tell?” This couldn’t be what I thought it was. No no no, calm down, Brass. This is just a trick. A hoax.

“She claims she can fish your password out of your mind,” said Cotton while approaching my terminal at the other desk. I tried to stop her, but the large griffin blocked my path.

“First character is a nine,” Iron said, “followed by a capital A.”

How was she doing this? Cotton’s magic glowed, and she started typing on the keyboard. I tried to think about anything else, started thinking about my nights with Crescent. Surely that would keep her out of my mind.

“Lowercase W.” Click. “Uppercase S.” Click. How? I was sure I hadn’t been thinking at all about it! Unless her magic ran deeper than that? No, that couldn’t be, no unicorn could do that! “Caret.” Click. “At.” Click. How, how, how, how how? “Uppercase B.” Click. “Eight.” Click. “Lowercase X.” Click. “And that seems to be all.”

The pressure in my head receded, and Cotton pressed the enter key, seemingly uncertain. A moment later, the terminal beeped in acknowledgement.

“This is a breach of privacy! When this senseless hearing is over, I shall have you executed!” Fuck, fuck, fuck! I was losing my cool. All because of her! If she hadn’t been so stupid as to follow her father out of the fucking stable, none of this would have happened!

There had to still be a way out of this. Think, Brass, think! Right! I knew how! “Wait!” Cotton turned around and met my gaze. Her look told me this was my last chance. “I’ll… I’ll talk. I’d rather give you a version that puts me in the best light; my journal wasn’t meant to ever be read by anypony other than my successor.” Before anyone had the chance to retort, I added, “I will let Iodine read my journal and confirm my story.”

Everypony remained quiet. Iodine’s expression was indecipherable while she sat down in front of the terminal, as per usual for her. Cotton looked wary, but willing to hear me out. Crescent had a relieved smile on his face. Things were looking good! Iodine already knew all of what I was about to say. I had no doubt they needed to hear a good chunk of the truth before they were satisfied, but this would work.

We all waited in silence as Iodine feigned skimming through my journal entries. After maybe ten minutes, she had caught up and nodded to me.

However, as my eyes met Sonata’s, the pit of my stomach sank. The confident smirk she gave me scared me more than I liked to admit. What was she playing at? Surely, she knew I was about to turn the situation around.

Anyway, I needed to start talking. I gave them a dramatic sigh. “When I was a filly, my family was torn apart by this stable’s endless political games. My father was stripped of all bits and rank, and was thus forced to work at the lowest level, while my mother and I were allowed to keep our previous lives. That was when I made it my goal to stop that once and for all, after I eventually became overmare.

“So, I devised a plan. Every free hour was spent trying to catch an if or a but. I wanted to become such an ideal overmare that almost nopony would want me removed. So that I would have enough allies that my enemies would always be outclassed, no matter what they attempted.”

I paused for a second to plan out what to say next and to gauge their reactions. Cotton’s look was slowly softening, while Crescent nodded reassuringly. From the brief glances she threw my way in between pretending to read my diary, I could tell Iodine was bored out of her mind, but also a little bit angry. The griffin scratched the back of her head before yawning. And Sonata… Sonata still looked utterly confident.

I let out a drawn out sigh. “Soon, I realised it simply wouldn’t work. No matter what I did, I wasn’t a perfect politician; I hadn’t been raised to do that. On top of that, my family was one of the three always vying for power; the others were bound to try and take my rank the moment I gained it.”

I scowled and looked at my desk in disappointment before continuing, “No, I couldn’t be the perfect overmare this stable needed. But I could set it up; ensure that the next generation would have a pony capable of becoming that. I would level the playing field and raise a pony who would know to take advantage of it.

“I picked a stallion from one of the other families and decided to marry him. It wasn’t too difficult to convince my mother that it would be ideal for the future of our own line. I purposefully picked a stallion who wasn’t very bright; one I knew I could control, and one I knew wouldn’t be adored by anypony, so getting rid of him would not cause too much harm to the stable.”

I took a moment to lean forward in my chair. “However, my plan was pushed to its breaking point. I knew there was a risk that he would hurt Sonata, but I took that into account. I never wanted her to suffer like she did, but it was too early to remove Concerto; if I became overmare then, it would have caused a chain reaction that would have endangered everything.

“What I did not plan for, however, were the events of three and a half years ago.” I furrowed my brow and feigned a dejected look as I stared at my desk. “No, just a few key details I would have never expected. Just a few things that ruined everything.” I scowled at the pony who’d once been my daughter, but she still showed no sign of being bothered.

“I had a workaround for almost any of Sonata’s actions. Almost. The one thing I didn’t consider was that she would turn into a murderer as soon as she managed to get her horn on a gun.” Out of anyone in the room, I was surprised to see the griffin shocked by this revelation. Did she think her boss was some kind of innocent victim? Or was there something else?

I shook my head. “With that, my entire plan crumbled. Normal ponies had seen what she had done. If she were to eventually become overmare, she would just continue the endless cycle of political games; eventually, somepony would use her crime against her to oust her.

“I knew I had to try again; to replan everything. What I quickly realised was that I needed to become overmare if I wanted another shot at creating the perfect one, the one who’d bring us the stability we so desperately need. If I stayed in power just long enough, I’d manage to make things right.” I looked over at Crescent. “This time, I just went for a stallion I liked, instead of trying to mould one into being a conditionally competent overstallion.” Well, that was half true anyway. He’d be useful for certain, but there was no denying I liked him.

I took a deep breath as I gauged the reactions of two of the three Heads. Crescent, wan smile on his lips, was very clearly on my side; he’d been worried when I mentioned Concerto, but my last sentence put him at ease. Cotton clearly didn’t like this, but I could tell she would accept it. Iron still seemed confident of her victory, despite her very obvious defeat.

However, the one pony I’d trusted had a hard look on her face when she turned around. “Lovely story,” said Iodine, “except that it’s just false enough to paint you as a saviour.”

“Whatever do you mean? You’ve read my journal, you know it’s true!” What in the everloving fuck was she playing at?

“You manipulated Concerto so he would abuse your daughter.” She paused for just long enough to let the accusation seep in. “You did so with two goals in mind. First, so that she would be able to bear just about anything without complaining, as long as it came from you, the good parent. Second, so that the stable would see her as a victim of the political games; you wanted them to see her just like you saw yourself.”

The room turned against me, hard glares meeting my eyes in every direction. Every direction except Sonata, who dared pity me.

That was enough to bubble my rage over, and I regretted the words as I shouted them, “Iodine, what the fuck? I thought you were on my side!”

She shook her head. “I’m on the stable’s side, Brass. You know how we found Iron earlier today? She was surrounded by a dozen middle class citizens, telling her story. And they believed her. Even if the rest of us joined in on you and I’s conspiracy, you would very soon find yourself with a figurative knife in your back.”

I tried to project myself, but she cut me off. “All these years I’ve played cloak-and-dagger with you because I believed it was all for the best. I’ve watched you drive my youngest brother insane with your mind tricks for over a decade.” She stomped her hoof on the concrete floor. “Then, when your plan spectacularly backfired, I decided to stick with you. I’d already invested too much to give up; I was willing to sacrifice a filly to the wasteland if it meant the stable would be fine.” She slowly shook her head. “Now, though, I’ve realised that this is all sunk cost that I’m never getting back. Continuing this game only ever hurts the stable, and I’m not willing to let it hit rock bottom just because you think it might get better eventually.”

Others started shouting at me, calling me names, before trying to salvage the situation for themselves. At some point it stopped mattering to me. This wasn’t real, so why would I bother caring? I found myself staring at some point, far beyond the wall, and barely even noticed when Sonata approached me.

“Apologies for this, Mother,” she said. “I’m quite sure you realise that I did this out of necessity, though.”

“And you think I didn’t?” I retorted. “You think my actions were just for the fun of it?”

“Oh, I understand why you did all of this. Though I will admit that I didn’t have all the details, and hearing them said aloud really stung.” She frowned and broke eye contact. Then, she shrugged and met my gaze again. “However, that also does make getting rid of you so much easier on myself. I suppose it is only fair now.”

“You fucking bitch! You’re just playing the political game of this forsaken stable! Don’t you realise that you will be in this exact position in a few years?” She wasn’t even phased by my outburst, which made me all the angrier. “Taking the throne now will only result in the same events playing out. Eventually, somepony will find out what you did and use it to turn enough others against you to seize power! You didn’t change anything!”

Indignant annoyance became obvious on her face. “You think I play on a small scale like yourself? This is just the first step to what I really want to achieve. I don’t give a molerat’s ass about power. It’s just a tool to a goal, just like I was to you.”

“And it would have worked flawlessly if you weren’t a fucking murdering lunatic! I often asked myself what I could have done to avoid it; what I could have done better. But no, I don’t think I could have prevented you turning into a murderer, not without giving up on my fucking plans!”

Her glare intensified, and I was so happy to finally be rid of that stupid smirk of hers. She furrowed her brows, shaking her head. “Do you really think you can put a filly through a hell like my foalhood and somehow have her turn out alright?”

“Yes, because no normal pony would turn killer the moment they have the chance to! Face it, Sonata, you’re defective!” I’d drag her down with me, if it was the last thing I did as overmare. “Something went wrong when I was still carrying you, and your brain never fully developed. This is on you. I used to feel guilty for what I’d put you through, but I’ve long since realised you deserved it all, you worthless wretch—”

I cut myself off as her glare turned to vicious, primal rage. Gone was the curt anger she’d shown before, replaced instead with a fury that made me fear for my life. As her horn started glowing, my instinct told me to run. I hastily took a few steps back, but tripped. That, however, was enough to save my life. A knife appeared out of thin air, plunging forward where I’d just been, instead only leaving a shallow gash that still burned horribly.

I felt myself tremble, unable to move as Sonata took a step forward. Suddenly, the large griffin leaped at me as well, and I closed my eyes, expecting a painful end.

It never came. When I opened them again, I found her facing away from me, “Iron, calm down. This isn’t what we’re here for.”

Iron grunted in frustration and stormed out of the room. The moment she shut the door behind her, I fainted.

I was sitting in the middle of a large room. Unlike the rest of the stable, it didn’t feel claustrophobic. If it wasn’t for the knowledge that I was below thousands of tonnes of rock, I could have almost relaxed here.

Well, there was also the fact that I couldn’t stop thinking about what the overmare had said. Specifically, that she’d called Iron “Sonata”. For some reason, that really struck a chord with me, but I could not figure out why. It was the same feeling I had with Iron’s name in general, just so much stronger. I was missing something, a crucial piece of the puzzle. Was I forgetting something?

“Grace? What are you doing here?” called out a mare’s voice. “Shouldn’t you be with Iron?”

Craning my head, I looked at… Cotton? Yes, Cotton. The security mare with the nice flank—despite her age. Her mane looked just poofy and white enough to make her name almost obvious.

I shook my head. “Nah, she wanted to be alone for a sec, get her thoughts in order and all that.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Still, you should at least be in her general vicinity, given that you’re her bodyguard.”

I shrugged. “I was just here to look the part. She’s more than capable of handling herself. She could probably kill me if we fought.” I gestured to Cotton’s horn. “What with her unicorn bullshit and all.”

“I… see.” Cotton slowly nodded before hesitantly approaching. “Can I ask you a few things? About the world outside.” She furrowed her brow. “You were born outside, right?”

I nodded.

She sat down next to me. “How’s life there?”

I shrugged. “It’s… life, I dunno. Never really experienced anything else, so I wouldn’t know how to gauge it. I could maybe start telling you about life as an orphan forced into being a bandit, but that’s not really the norm out there.”

“Hmm… I guess that makes sense. So I take it the world isn’t covered with radiation strong enough to melt your insides the moment you step outside?” She paused for a bit, with a sheepish smile on her face. She reminded me of someone… “I know, I know, stupid question, but I’ve always wondered what dangers could lie outside.”

I felt the corners of my beak turn up in a smile. “There are pockets of radiation that could kill you in seconds, but no one I know has ever stumbled into them by accident.” For a moment I considered telling her about taint, but instead decided to comment on the fact that she hadn’t judged me. “That said, I’m a tad amazed by your reaction to knowing that I was a bandit. I feel like most stable ponies woulda at least winced or something.”

It was her turn to shrug. “I’m not in a great position to judge how wastelanders live their life. I don’t know what you’ve been through, or even what drove you to do it.”

She met my gaze with a gentle smile, and in that moment, I realised that the pony she reminded me of was Candy. Not only in terms of appearance, but in personality and… attitude? I must have been staring, as she commented, “Are you alright?”

I shook myself out of my stupor. “Sorry, sorry, you just really reminded me of a mare who was very dear to me, a long time ago.” Well, only a few years, but my time with her felt like it had been a different century.

“Ah, I understand.” She gave me a gentle smile. “Well, in either case, it’s extremely reassuring to hear that the outside is survivable. Makes me wonder if we should maybe consider opening our doors. It would certainly be a way to end this endless game of cloak-and-dagger.”

I chuckled. “You’re going to like what Iron has planned for this place, then.”

Cotton raised an eyebrow. “What… she’s planned? You talk like she’s overmare now.”

Oh fuck, I’d said too much. “Uhhh, now I’m unsure. She was talking like it was a given, so maybe there’s a detail I’m missing. Shit, I hope I didn’t just ruin her plan, whatever it is.”

“Yeah… I don’t think the other Heads would be fine with letting someone who’s lived so long outside the stable become overmare.” Cotton shrugged, then added, “If anything, Iodine is likely to be next.”

“You’re right, I guess. I probably misunderstood something, then. I wasn’t paying too much attention when she debriefed us. I just remembered what I was supposed to do.” I chuckled. “Now that I think about it, a vicious mercenary ruling over such a prim and proper place is kinda ridiculous.”

Cotton tilted her head to the side and opened her mouth in confusion. “Who said anything about you becoming overmare?”

“I was talking about Iron…” Why would she assume otherwise? “You know, the battle-scarred unicorn who could easily kill me?”

If my own past hadn’t shocked her, this certainly did. “I… What?” She tried to form a sentence, but ended up only saying individual words. Finally, she shook her head, then went quiet for a second.

“Is it really that hard to believe that the huge unicorn, who constantly looks like someone pissed in her soup, is a brutal killer?” I made a confused gesture with my right foreleg.

“It’s just…” She paused again, but this time continued within a few moments, “It’s weird to think of Little Iron as a vicious murderer, even though I know what she did to her father…”

“Little…?” In my mind, a chain reaction went off, too fast for me to immediately understand what was going on.

Cotton chuckled. “Yeah, I guess ‘little’ doesn’t really apply to her anymore. I’ve just known her since she was tiny, and haven’t really seen her much since.”

The gears in my head continued turning. “So, how old is she?”

She opened her mouth to reply, but then scowled. “I… I’m not sure, as much as it sucks to admit…” She started mumbling to herself. “So she was born a few years after the end of Carrot’s term, and from what Brass has told me, she was old enough to start her term sooner rather than later…” She raised her voice again. “Best I can say is between fifteen and seventeen?”

That was much younger than I would have thought. Everything fell into place. That was why this all rang a bell! But no, that couldn’t be right. That didn’t make sense… Unless…? Cotton opened her mouth, but I cut her off immediately. “Earlier the overmare called Iron ‘Sonata’! Why was that?”

She had that 'Are you fucking retarded? Wait, I probably shouldn't say that out loud' look on her face, along with a healthy dose of confusion. “Because… it’s her name?”

“So she’s the filly Candy was looking for!” Then another epiphany hit. “Wait! So you must be Candy’s mother!”

“Yes, that was… my… daughter’s… name…” As she talked, her tone grew more and more hesitant. “But wait… something doesn’t add up here. Iron told me Candy died almost three years ago, but you only met Iron a few weeks ago, correct?”

I nodded, and more pieces of the puzzle started falling into place. “And Candy was decidedly alive when I last saw her, about a year and a half ago…”

Her eyes lit up. “I… wow.” Tears were welling up on her face. Her muzzle still showed a smile.

As touching as it was, I couldn't stay around and wait. I started walking back towards the overmare’s living quarters, intent on not letting the tight corridors get to me. “I really need to talk to Iron now.”

To my surprise, she went and followed me. “And I need to get out of this stable, as soon as possible. My baby is out there, and I will find her. Where did you last see her?”

“Eastern Equestria, a few days’ worth of travel south from Manehattan, though I doubt she’ll be anywhere nearby now.” I clicked the button and started tapping my claws on the concrete as I waited for the door to open. “And I’m pretty sure Iron will want to find her as well, if I go by what Candy told me.” It was so clear in hindsight. Of course that was where I’d heard the name. I picked up my pace.

To my surprise Cotton kept up with no issue, though by now she was mostly talking to herself. “Now I gotta find a way to leave the stable without causing too much havoc.”

“That won’t be an issue soon, so don’t worry.” Well, at least if I understood the plan correctly.

This side of Iron’s really annoyed me. When she wasn’t being a scheming little fuck, she was actually surprisingly enjoyable to be around. Really, what would it have cost her to explain the whole plan to me? Like, I was supposedly important in it, so why did she only give me exactly as much as I needed to know?

I turned another corner and finally spotted my destination. After entering the main room, I felt a mild wave of relief wash over me, mostly due to the size of this room compared to those shitty corridors.

With Cotton next to me, I knocked on the door to Iron’s room. I only knew which one it was because I’d seen her enter it earlier.

“Didn’t I tell you to leave me alone?” Still pissed, huh? I mean I couldn’t blame her, I would have wanted to tear… that cunt’s head off—whatever her name was.

“You did,” I said, “but it’s important. Really important.”

The door opened with the hiss of hydraulics, and I heard Iron drop out of bed. “Fine. But if this is bad news, I might go on a rampage.”

“It’s great news, actually!” I said in a voice more chipper than I would have expected.

I held my breath as somepony walked past me. A dark blue young mare dressed in StableTec utility barding. She looked utterly exhausted and ready to collapse. For a second, she stared right at me before blinking and turning down the corridor.

I breathed a sigh of relief. If she’d been fully awake, she might have noticed the soft shimmers that supposedly come with StealthBuck usage. I’d been avoiding getting close to ponies for that specific reason, but unfortunate timing made it so that she almost walked into me as she exited a room.

I’d been at this for the past ten minutes, ever since entering the stable with Sonata and Grace, and this was the first time such a close call had happened. I’d turned off the EFS because it was more distracting than anything else when there were this many ponies around.

Once the mare moved on, I continued on my journey. My first goal was a storage closet on the third floor. Sonata had placed a marker on the map for me, and it was just a matter of actually getting to it.

Even still, I didn’t like this place. I was used to exploring tight spaces, but something about the stable made me feel particularly claustrophobic. I barely stopped myself from sighing, then checked Iron’s PipBuck for where I was meant to go next.

The rest of my trip went by rather uneventfully. I avoided the more populated areas as Sonata had suggested, and was now approaching the designated room. If I remembered correctly, it would be at the end of this corridor.

Then, I felt a push; a certain pressure in my mind. I needed a few moments to remember what that was before I let it in.

A thought crossed my mind, Hey, are you getting close to that closet?

The thought wasn’t mine and felt strange and alien. We’d tried this before, and the second time didn’t feel any less… wrong. Maybe after the fifth or tenth time I’d get used to it.

Yeah, I replied, trying to visualise talking across the link. I’m almost there.

Thankfully, I could choose what to send to her, and she didn’t just intrude in my mind. That would have been truly scary.

Good, good. Do you remember where to go next?

I nodded, but then felt silly as I realised she wouldn’t see me.

However, the intention had apparently been good enough, as she replied, Great! I’ll keep the link open. Tell me when you get to the terminal.

The fact that she knew spells that Iron didn’t freaked me out ever so slightly, especially since Iron herself wasn’t aware of them.

My train of thought was stopped as I arrived in front of the storage closet. I checked if anypony was around before pressing the button.

As expected, it was unlocked and opened with no problem. Inside, it took me a few moments of digging through cardboard boxes to find what I was after: a StableTec jumpsuit that would fit me.

Iron had spotted them in her walks through the stable’s ventilation systems, all these years ago. Sonata had decided to use them, since I would otherwise stand out like a sore hoof with all these scars on my back.

Of course, if everything went well, I would stay hidden for most of my time here and only come out once Sonata had everything taken care of. Still, even after that, it would be better for me to not cause too much of a stir.

Just in case, I grabbed another two jumpsuits; one a size larger and one a size smaller, and shoved them into my saddlebags as well. I didn’t bother putting them on immediately; it would be difficult if I could barely see my limbs.

I left the tiny room and made for my next destination: another one of those small closets, though this one was intended for maintenance ponies to use. It wasn’t all too far away from here.

When I reached it, I focused on the link that I could still feel. I’m there. I’ll start working on breaking into the terminal in a second.

I might be able to help you for a bit once I’m done talking to the three Heads.

That was the other reason she wasn’t the one doing this. The stable door had opened, and it had been noticed. Sonata wouldn’t be able to walk in unnoticed, even with a StealthBuck. Instead, her part of the plan involved getting a meeting with the ponies in charge of this place.

Alright. Frankly, I didn’t need her help; I’d seen Iron do it enough times to understand the concept more than well enough, and I’d gotten some practice before coming here.

Ten minutes later, I was close to pulling out my mane in frustration. I’d gotten two characters, but the password seemed to be completely random. Thankfully, it was apparently rather short, which was the only thing keeping me going.

After another ten minutes passed, the StealthBuck wore off, and I suddenly felt awfully exposed, even inside this small closet. I shook off the feeling and went back to work. Within the hour, I finally had the overmare’s password, along with a splitting headache.

The next part of the plan called for me to wait here for a few hours. I didn’t particularly look forward to it, as this was far from comfortable. I had a book to pass the time—I swear, Iron was wearing off on me. And I also could telepathically talk to Sonata.

She seemed much nicer than Iron on the surface, but she creeped me out. At first, it was only because she was so different from the pony I’d grown to deeply care about, while sharing her face and even body.

Now though? After hearing her plan, I could definitely tell she wasn’t anypony I wanted to get close to. One could argue that she was only this manipulative when it came to her enemies, but I just wasn’t comfortable around somepony whose main approach to any problem was schemes, cloaks, and daggers.

Not to mention, while she talked to the Heads of the stable, some of her feelings trickled through. It was a mixture of confidence, haughtiness, and a sick satisfaction at seeing her plans move along. I didn’t like her one bit.

I nodded to Grace and Cotton, and they left into the main corridor, headed for Cotton’s quarters. She wanted to leave with us and had asked Grace to give her a primer on wasteland survival.

Though in reality, that was more of an excuse not to be around Iron right now, I presumed. Grace had given me a very short summary of what she’d told Iron, and of how Iron had not reacted well. Part of me wanted to be annoyed at them for leaving me to deal with it, but I also couldn’t blame them. After all, only I was close enough to her to get her to properly open up. And besides, another part of me knew they would just have gotten in the way.

After the entrance door closed, I took a moment to take a deep breath before knocking.

“What is it now?” As expected, she wasn’t happy.

“Hey, Iron, I heard from Grace you’re not doing too well. Can I come in?”

There was a pregnant silence before I heard her reply, “Alright.”

I pressed the button, and the door opened. Stepping inside, I immediately noticed the complete chaos that reigned here. Metal furniture lay strewn around the room along with torn books, scrap paper, and writing supplies snapped in two. A bookshelf had been overturned and now blocked most of the way in, while a desk lay upside down underneath a deep gash in the concrete wall.

On the other side, Iron sat on a twin bed. It had clearly also been recently moved, but haphazardly put back into place. An open book lay on top of the pillow.

I stepped around the bookshelf and closed the door behind me before approaching Iron. “Good book?”

She shrugged. “Fuck if I know. Been staring at it for half an hour, and I’ve read like two pages. Can’t focus.” She was trying to act casual, but a few hesitations here and there told me all I needed to know.

“Makes sense, lots of things on your mind and all that. I’ll be honest, I was expecting to find you absolutely furious.” I walked towards the bed and pointed to the empty space next to her. She nodded, and I sat down next to her, leaning against her. “I was a bit scared, I’ll admit.”

“At first I was. I screamed, threw my desk at the wall, and fantasised about all the different ways to kill that feathered cunt in the most violent, horrific, and painful ways possible.” Her voice trembled, but she did her best to keep it level.

“That… sounds a lot more like what I heard from Grace.” I craned my neck to look at her face, only to find her staring at one of the walls.

We sat in silence for a while. I had a hard time coming up with what to say next, so instead I just shifted even closer to her.

I spent a few moments trying to find a good way to ask. Then, I decided to go for the simplest solution and just be honest. “Would you mind telling me exactly what happened? Grace only really gave me a short summary.”

Again, she shrugged. “Not really. Not much to talk about, and it would probably piss me off again to bring it all back up.”

I hummed in response. “I understand. I’m here if you want to talk.”

“What is there to talk about? Shit happens. Nothing I can do about it now.” She snapped at me, but I could tell she didn’t mean to. “It’s not like it fucking matters,” she added in a dejected tone. She was definitely trying to act strong again. I wouldn’t allow that to happen.

“Come on, Iron.” I craned my neck forward and tried to turn her head to face me. She didn’t let me, moving out of the way and refusing to meet my gaze. I sighed and continued, disappointment tinging my tone despite my best efforts, “You don’t have to go through this alone.”

“I already went through it, all alone. Nothing to do about it now. Yes, I want my revenge, but I’m not going to fucking get it.” She slapped her hoof on the pillow, causing the book to fall off the side of the bed. “So what point is there to talking about it?” She glared at me expectantly.

I opened my mouth to speak, but quickly changed my mind. I didn’t know what to say. She was obviously bottling things up, but what could I do if she didn’t even want to talk about it? It was probably for the best to just quietly remain by her side until she was ready.

I looked away, unable to hold her gaze. However, she wasn’t going to let me get away with it. “Well, what is it? If you have something to say, say it.”

What was it, did she want to talk to me or not? I let an exasperated sigh slip before looking at her. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea to bottle this up. It can’t be the right way to handle this.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, because you know how to handle things that happened to me.”

“Maybe not, but that’s why I’m asking!” The second after I said it, I regretted my sharp tone.

“Well, don’t! You’re just wasting my fucking time!”

This close, the shout hurt my ears, and I got off the bed. I couldn’t stop myself from screaming back, “Well, alright then! I won’t! But you don’t need to be so fucking bitchy about it when I’m just trying to help!”

The fury in her eyes scared me, and right as she was about to reply, she instead sighed. “Fine, if only so that you’ll leave me the fuck alone.” I could swear I saw a single tear in her eyes as she looked away. “Just tell me where to fucking start,” she muttered.

“Like I said, I don't know the full picture, only what Grace told me. Something about a pegasus screwing you over?” I took a few steps forward, then gently wrapped my front leg around her withers. I leaned into her neck, and she reluctantly reciprocated the gesture.

After a few moments, Iron broke the embrace and met my gaze. “His name is Airdrop. I think I told you about him already, because he was the one who told me about Candy’s corpse.” She gulped. “Or so I thought. Apparently Candy’s alive, and that creep’s been lying to her this entire fucking time.” With every word, her tone got more and more heated.

“Shit, I get why you’d be so pissed.” I slowly nodded.

She also stood up from the bed. “Yeah, that would already be bad enough.” She’d been relatively calm until now, but she then she suddenly shouted, “The fucker wasn’t just content with ruining my life once! He. Just. Had. To. Do. It. Twice.” Every word was punctuated with both of her front hooves slamming down on the concrete with more strength than I would have deemed possible from her thin frame.

“What else did he do?” I asked, careful to keep my tone neutral.

Eyes watery, she met my gaze. “Sold my friends and I out into fucking slavery, that’s what!” That was the drop that broke the dam, and she fell to the ground, sobbing.

My heart sank, and my blood boiled. “What a piece of shit…” I muttered, grinding my teeth. Suddenly, I very much wanted Iron to hurt him. “I rarely wish pain upon anypony, but damn if I don’t want to see him suffer now.”

Iron hesitated for a moment, momentarily calming down. “Well, I don’t know for certain. It’s just that Grace’s story has way too much in common with mine, and it just makes sense.”

“When I find him…” Now that she was no longer crying, I could hear anger burn glacially in her voice. “I’m going to cut off both his wings, shatter all four of his legs, then throw him into a swamp full of leeches.” She huffed before slamming the concrete with her hoof. “Or maybe I should slice him apart and hang him with his own fucking guts.”

While that was more than I liked to imagine, I didn’t have the courage to tell her off as she went off on a short tangent. Only, to my surprise, her anger petered out by the end, and she started crying again. “Only I’ve already lost.” She sniffled. “And making him lose as well won’t make me win…”

“Iron, listen to me.” I put my hoof underneath her chin and made her look at me. This time, she didn’t resist. She looked scared, but with an oh so distant light of hope in her eyes. “You haven’t lost. Yes, he’s stolen years of your life, but you’re still young. I’m still young. And we’re both going to be free tomorrow. With a bit of effort, you can still live a decent life. I can’t promise I’ll always be there, but right now I really fucking want to.”

Iron broke down again, but after a few sobs, I couldn't tell if she was laughing or crying anymore. A few moments more later, she was definitely laughing, but there was no mirth in her voice. She was bitter.

“What’s… so funny?” I dared ask.

“That you think I have a shot at the future,” she spat with contempt.

“Of course you do!” I stomped my hoof on the floor. “If you don’t know what to do, I can help you figure it out. If you’re scared of being alone, we can even be together. If you don’t want your friends to find out what you did, we can run away!” I was spouting ideas, not really putting any thought into any one in particular. “If you’re worried about your past catching up to you, there’s ways you can—”

Iron rose to her hooves. “And what do I do about the hivemind of alicorns that wants to make me one of them?” Iron cut me off in a venomous tone, leaving me confused and hurt in equal parts.

Before I could ask what she meant by that, she continued, “But you wouldn’t know about that, because I didn’t want to admit that in a month, a year, two years, I’ll be a fucking monster with no will of my own.” She scoffed. “So keep your precious future to yourself.”

Oh. That made all too much sense, given what she’d told me. I was probably missing some details, but she was clearly exaggerating.

I stared up at her. I could tell she was trying to intimidate me through her stature, but I wouldn’t let her. I wouldn’t let her go, not anymore. “You can’t just give up, though! Maybe there’s something you don’t know. Maybe there’s a fix you just haven’t thought about yet. Come on, Iron!”

“You haven’t seen them. You don’t know how terrifying they are. So keep your fucking optimism to yourself, or I’ll make you.” She tried to sound furious, but I heard the waver in her voice.

“Please, Iron. At least try. If not for yourself, then for me. You’re the closest friend I’ve ever had, and I don’t want to lose you without doing anything.” Now I was crying too. I hadn’t realised just how much she’d grown to mean to me until now. Hearing her talk about letting herself get taken shattered my heart.

That seemed to take her aback for a moment, and for a moment I believed everything would be fine. Then, her glare grew harder, “And now things are about you and how you feel? Ignore the mare who was put on a fast track to becoming a mindless monster, the mare who was brainwashed as a filly and forced into a life of misery and abuse, the mare who was raped until she liked it. Ignore that mare because you think your opinion is more important.”

“That’s not what I—”

I didn’t get to finish my sentence, as her hoof impacted on my cheek, knocking me onto my side. It took a few moments to register what happened before tears started flowing again.

I’d been beaten so much harder than this, so why was this one minor blow enough to make me cry? And yet it hurt so badly.

One look at her was all that it took to make her go from fury, to hesitation, to realisation, to horror. She opened her mouth, but I was already out the door before she got to say anything.

I awoke to the faint electronic hum of dozens of distant machines and the whoosh of air from a ventilation shaft further away. My pillow was uncomfortably damp. I'd cried myself to sleep again, hadn't I?

However, something was strange. My body didn't hurt at all. Or at least not as intently as it should have. Did Father go easy on me last night? Maybe I was just lying in a good enough position and simply didn't feel anything right now. I tried to recall where he'd hit me, but it all seemed so distant; like it had all happened years ago.

But wait, it had. And as I woke up further, I started to remember. Life outside the stable. The thrill of taking a life. Star Seeds. And finally, Cherry.

A wave of ice washed over my body, and my stomach sank. No, it couldn't be. It was just a bad dream. I got to my hooves and trotted out of my room and towards my parents'.

Inside, I saw him lying on my mother's bed. The covers only draped over the lower part of his body, while the pillow still had a visible wet stain. A large, angry bruise had formed on his cheek.

I felt my jaw starting to quiver and my eyes water. I wanted nothing more than to hold him and tell him everything would be alright. To swear to protect him from whatever had hurt him. But I couldn't. I'd done this to him.

I'd promised to keep him safe and buy him liberty. I'd daydreamed so many times about holding him close and kissing him. Every time I pushed the thought away, it eventually came back. We were supposed to look for his family. We were supposed to find a way to redeem me. How could I not fall for a buck when we had this kind of future ahead of us?

I could have made an effort. I could have negotiated with Unity. I could have mounted an army to fight it. I could have tried.

All I would have needed to do was let myself hope, but I was too blind to even do that. Even if it turned out for naught, it would have been better than this. It would have been better than losing everything.

I barely held in a sob.

I wanted to stop existing. I wanted to never have been born. I left the room and slowly trotted over to my saddlebags. It only took a few moments to find what I was looking for.

After placing the healing potion on the nightstand next to him, I gave in to the presence at the back of my mind, letting Sonata take over. I didn't want to be myself. I wanted to never be myself again.

Footnote:

New Perk: Destined for Greatness — You’ve once again set hoof on the path to excellence. +1 Luck.

Author's Note

Early chapter this week because I got impatient.

Chapter 29 — A Way to Grow

A Way to Grow

There was a polite knock at my door, and I could immediately tell it was Crow. That was odd, he usually didn’t come see me in my quarters.

“Come in,” I called out.

A moment later, he stepped in and closed the door behind him. “Good evening, Lock, Gloam,” he said to us. When Gloam started scrambling to get off the couch, presumably to bow to him, he gestured for her to stay put.

“Good evening,” I replied.

Gloam seemed to want to greet him too, but wasn’t able to find a gap in the conversation long enough to speak up.

“I bring good news,” said Crow. “There’s been a radio message from up north. You and your friends are now free ponies.”

“What?” I exclaimed without thinking. “I mean, that’s great, but isn’t it a bit early?”

In my mind, I was trying to think up ways to smuggle out the wares I’d managed to produce and gather.

He chuckled. “What, disappointed to leave your stock behind? If so, that is a perfectly understandable reaction. However, it goes without saying that you are more than free to remain in Fillydelphia. I’ve said it before, and I shall say it again: you show promise, Lock, even without a destiny mark to guide you.”

I looked through the window, setting my gaze on the dark streets of Fillydelphia below before turning back towards Crow. “Look, Crow, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. You’ve been a great mentor. It’s just… I haven’t changed my mind. I don’t like being a slaver; it’s just not who I want to be.”

Crow slowly nodded. “I understand. I too was expecting more time to convince you. Still, I don’t regret taking you under my wing; I knew it was part of the deal that you might eventually leave.”

“Thanks.” I gave him a polite smile. “Though there’s still the issue that this threw a huge wrench into my plans. What am I gonna do with my stock? I suspect I can't just take them with me.”

Crow shrugged. “Indeed you cannot. However, I could take them in. And it goes without saying that, should you ever change your mind and come back, I’ll return them to you.”

“I suppose it’s better than someone like Chainlink Shackles getting his hooves on them.” Working under that stallion was not something I wished unto anypony. Not only was he callous, but he also seemed to take a sick pleasure in his work. Meanwhile, even Crow, as proud as he was of his methods, never seemed happy to be a slaver—even if he never showed regret, either.

I realised I’d stayed quiet for a while when Crow spoke up again, “Well then, I suppose I ought to get going. Should you need anything, feel more than free to ask me.” He paused for a moment and gave me an impish little smile. “Oh, and you aren’t supposed to know any of this yet, so you definitely didn’t hear it from me. You’ll get Iron’s message tomorrow, probably.”

As he walked towards the door, Gloam gently poked my ribs. Right, she wouldn’t want to be left behind here. Even if it meant I would need to drag around a reminder of the guilt for my time here, I couldn’t just abandon her. “What about Gloam? Can I keep her? Since she’s my personal assistant and everything.”

He turned his head to face me with a knowing smile. “I shall see what I can do.”

Grace thought about her next move for a moment before placing down a queen of clubs onto the table. “Y’know, I had a question come to mind yesterday evening,” she said. “How did Sonata have enough pre-war bits to take over the stable? I thought you all had enough stockpiled to prevent anypony else from becoming overmare.”

My teammate, Grover—a Talon we’d gotten to be our fourth player—reluctantly placed down a ten of clubs. I glanced out the window to the busy streets of New Detrot.

Cotton nodded, but didn’t reply right away, clearly considering her next move. Instead, it was I who answered the question, “High value pre-war coins. Take for instance thousand and ten thousand bit coins.”

Cotton placed down a nine of clubs, then I nonchalantly tossed my ace onto the table and took all four cards and placed them on the pile in front of me. “Out here, nopony is willing to treat them as such. Noone has the means to verify them, and noone is willing to risk their livelihood over some two hundred year old coin.” I played my jack of clubs; if I remembered correctly, the king had already been played. “Though even if they could check them, it’s unlikely there would really be anypony willing to use them for trade. On the other hoof, the stable’s system had no issue verifying them.”

“Oh, that makes sense, I guess,” said Grace before playing her card.

Our game went on for another dozen minutes or so, though I didn’t participate much in the conversation after that. Grover and I ended up losing, but I didn’t particularly care; my mind had been somewhere else ever since the topic of Iron had come up.

I got up from the table and started heading for the exit. It had been two weeks since I’d last talked to her. On the one hoof, I was grateful that I didn’t have to. It helped avoid so much awkwardness that I’d been dreading.

On the other hoof… the things I wanted to say to her, the things I wanted her to say to me, all of it was accumulating in my head. I didn’t want this to be the end. I didn’t want to let myself get hurt again. I didn’t want to leave her behind. I didn’t want to forget what she’d done. I didn’t want to forget her. I didn’t want to forgive her.

And yet, I wanted her to apologise.

A cold gust chilled me to the bone, and I turned around, heading towards my room. When we’d returned to New Detrot with the good news, Iron and I had immediately been set free and been allowed to stay in our own house at the edge of town. Grace had talked Cotton into joining our search for Candy, and Cotton had bought Grace before setting her free.

I’d tried to tell her that it wasn’t necessary, that Grace more than likely could just escape on her own if she wanted to, but Cotton insisted. Said it would make preparing for the trip easier, and that it would help avoid potential issues in the future.

Once in my room, I put on my Stable 4 jumpsuit as well as a thick scarf. Then I left again.

Those preparations were related to the transfer of power in the stable. Under normal conditions, a head of department stepping down was already quite a bureaucratic mess, but it was compounded by the fact that there had been a change of overmare at the same time.

If I was her, I’d have just left and had everypony else figure it out. Cotton, however, insisted on doing things the “right” way. She’d told them that it was both out of personal reasons, but also out of a belief that a change of times required a new leader. I didn’t understand why she believed she owed anything to a place that had held her captive her entire life, but she really didn’t see it that way.

The cold wind still bit hard, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t bear for an hour or two.

Of course, we also had to prepare for our trip itself. We needed time to stock up on ammo, food, and even a few backup guns.

Originally, Iron was supposed to come with us, or so she’d told Grace on the evening of our argument. However, Sonata had been in control ever since, and she’d voiced a desire to remain here instead. I just didn’t understand.

Right after leaving the stable, she wasn’t entirely convinced she would have a job to do here; if she didn’t, she’d probably go with us. Now that our preparations were slowly coming to an end, we would need to know for sure whether or not she would join us.

Of course, I knew the answer to it, but it was the excuse I needed to finally try to talk to Iron, and maybe that would change things.

Now that I was approaching the town’s centre, I could see more and more ponies going about their business. Stable dwellers moving furniture to their new homes, the occasional slave dragging a cart full of building materials, and even a group of security ponies on their way to the range to be instructed in long-distance marksponyship by one of the griffins.

It would have been impossible to believe that this was the same town that I’d first come to a year ago as a packmule slave. And yet, I’d witnessed it. I’d seen it grow, and I’d been present when the first stable dwellers moved here.

I eventually reached the town hall. I didn’t know where Sonata was, but this was probably a good first guess. And if she wasn’t here, I’d find out where.

Oh wait, didn’t PipBucks have a thing that let them track each other? Eh, I’d figure that out later if needed; I was already here.

Once inside, it only took me a few minutes to find her office, where I found her hunched over some paperwork, a mug of coffee next to her.

Since the door was open, I let myself in and asked, “You’re doing paperwork? That’s surprising…” It was a good enough icebreaker and helped me avoid the topic I was dreading.

She let out an annoyed sigh before looking up and replying, “Yes, it is one of the things Star Seeds needs help with. And I am the overmare, even though that title is slowly becoming more and more nominal.” It took me a few moments to notice the dark rings under her eyes.

I shook my head. “No, I meant, it’s surprising that you guys bother to do all the bureaucratic shit instead of doing things like we do in the wasteland.”

Sonata rolled her eyes. “It simplifies more than it complicates, at least in the long run. So yes, we will be reusing as much of the stable’s political structure as we can.” She set down her pen and gave me an expectant look. “So, do you need anything, or are you here just for small talk?”

“Right, sorry.” I really wasn’t sorry. “I wanted to speak to Iron. About what happened two weeks ago.” There. It was out, and everything would fall into place now.

Sonata raised an eyebrow. “Well, she’s not here,” she stated matter-of-factly.

“Can’t you… you know, bring her out?” I asked, hoping that my waning patience wasn’t too obvious.

“I could, but why would I? I have a lot to do, you know.” She, on the other hoof, was not hiding her annoyance in the slightest.

“Come on, this is important.” Right after I said it, an idea crossed my mind. Maybe… “Iron, please, let’s talk this out.”

Sonata’s tone grew sharper. “She cannot hear you. She chose to give up forever, and there isn’t anything I can do about that. If I were to forcefully bring her back, what do you think would happen? That she would just immediately undo her actions and forget her regret? She doesn’t want to come back.” Oh. Oh. “Let her rest already.”

“But… that doesn’t solve anything.” I pawed at the concrete floor. “You can’t just let her hide from her actions just because it suits you.”

She raised her voice without quite shouting. “Because it suits me? You think your petty lovers’ quarrel is more important than the lives of innocents?” She slammed a hoof on the table. “For Celestia’s sake, Cherry, can you be any more self-centred? Do you know how much I have to do to make sure everything runs smoothly?”

I didn’t have time to respond, as she continued, “I have to make sure the transfer of power happens correctly. I have to help Star Seeds come up with a social structure that doesn’t rely on keeping track of how many bits somepony owns. I have to make sure construction work goes well. I have to find a way to deal with those fucking ghouls who refuse to give us their generator. And yes, I blame you for that last one.”

That surprised me. “What? But they need it to survive, you can’t just take it.”

“You bet I can. We need it more than they do, and we offered them to come join us, but they refused. And if I don’t get that generator, ponies will die during the two or so months we’ll need to move the reactor.”

That was the breaking point for me, and I ran out of her office.

I turned a corner and was greeted with the sight of Tenpony Tower. It was still as imposing as ever, but having spent the better part of two years in Fillydelphia had numbed me to the feeling of greatness.

Petal and Banter were already inside the tower with some of our wares. I’d had to leave behind most of what I’d managed to produce for our escape, but Gloam had still managed to get us the most valuable things.

While the two of them had gone straight to Tenpony Tower, I’d taken a detour to a nearby town south of Manehattan. It was where Gloam had grown up, and where she had been captured as a filly. She hadn’t seen what happened to her parents, but we both suspected they were dead.

My goal was twofold. If her parents were still there, they could take care of her, and I wouldn’t have to keep her around; I wanted to stop being reminded of who I’d become. Getting rid of her would allow me to go back to just being a normal scavenger in the wasteland.

Or so I thought. At some point during our trip, I realised I was apprehensive they’d survived. For whatever reason, I actually wanted Gloam around; despite what I’d tried to tell myself, I wasn’t quite ready to give her her freedom. But that was probably something I would get used to once I was forced to let her go.

But if her parents really were dead? It would cut her last ties to a free life. While it sounded bad when I thought of it like that, it really was more about fixing the state of her mind. About making sure she didn’t have any regrets moving forward, especially since I did give her the choice of leaving. I perfectly knew how difficult that decision would be for her.

While, like any slave, she claimed to want freedom, she didn’t even truly understand it. She wanted it for the novelty; believed it was a cure-all for her misery. Her life had been so very difficult until now, so maybe that one new thing would make everything better, right?

From my perspective, it was clear to me she wouldn’t survive longer than a week in the wasteland. Even if she did, her despair would only be aggravated in the long run; finding a purpose in life would take very long. Without one, she would be surviving, not living. On the other hoof, being mine would not only make her life more fulfilling, but also safer. It was the best for both of us.

Ideally, I wouldn’t have even given her the option. However… That would have made me a horrible, horrible pony, even though I’d be doing the right thing. Instead, I decided to compromise. I gave her the option, but wanted to explain to her the downsides of freedom. Wanted to make sure she realised just how much she would suffer if she went out on her own.

To my surprise, however, she didn’t even hesitate, and made her choice before I’d even finished explaining.

Before splitting from them, I’d told Banter and Petal about my plans for Gloam. Needless to say, they weren’t happy. I was accused of simply using all of those reasons as a convenient excuse to keep my control over her. That stung, especially because I realised they weren’t completely wrong. Part of me liked feeling important, even if it was only for one pony. I enjoyed being in control, even for something as minor as this. At that point, I’d realised that Crow and I really weren’t all that different after all.

Still, I knew I was right about Gloam. If I ordered her to leave, she would just die. Convenient excuse or not, I would be condemning her to death.

I was pulled out of my ruminations by the guards at Tenpony Tower’s front gate. I pulled out the caps to pay the entry fee; they introduced it as a temporary measure to reduce the amount of ponies entering the tower.

The guard started individually checking each of the thirty caps. Did I really look that shady? Or was that just part of the procedure to exclude as many ponies as possible?

Many merchants considered the northern trade route to be unusable, so a lot of ponies were stuck around Manehattan until the road was clear of danger. There were rumours of a group of bandits large enough to take out even a caravan guarded by Red-Eye’s forces. Lately, more and more traders had grown tired of waiting around and had left regardless of the risk.

Well, that wasn’t quite right; the risk was much lower than previously. Such a large group of bandits definitely needed to survive off of something, and with the knowledge of their presence floating around, very few caravans actually made the trip. As a result, the bandits had more than likely already dispersed.

Still, few ponies were really willing to take that risk, small as it was. To me, that was completely illogical; there was no way the route was still dangerous. Nopony would stay along that road just because they felt like it. It was too damn cold, deserted, and dangerous to bother with, unless you had some sort of incentive.

Again, I was snapped out of my thoughts by somepony’s voice. “Don’t let her in, she’s a slave owner. The purple one is her slave,” said a buck behind me.

I turned around and protested, “What are you talking about? That’s not true.”

“Yes it is, I overheard her calling you ‘master’.” Damn it, I knew I should have properly insisted Gloam stop calling me that.

Thank Celestia, he didn’t have any actual proof. “Then it’s your word against mine, because that is very much a lie. I don’t know what you want from me, but if you could leave me alone, that would be appreciated.”

“Everypony here knows I don’t lie,” he stated flatly.

Confused, I looked at the guards and felt a shiver run down my spine. Their mood had very much soured. It was the right one who finally cut the tension. “Jack here is a citizen of Tenpony Tower. Even if he didn’t have his reputation, his word would still outweigh yours,” she said gravely, reaching for her battle saddle’s trigger bit.

Fuck. There was only one way to salvage the situation: tell some of the truth. I shook my head. “It’s still not true. I’m not a slaver, I swear!” That wasn’t really a lie; I hadn’t made the choice to be one. I was forced into it. “She calls me master because I saved her from slavery. I’ve been trying to get her to drop it, but she has a rough time after living so long as a slave.” Again, another partial truth. And a pretty believable one at that for anypony who’d seen Gloam.

The guard arched a brow and turned to Gloam, who seemed on the verge of melding with my shadow, in a much more literal sense than most ponies. With all the attention on her, she panicked and slumped to the ground, covering her face with her forelegs. That was not good.

I knelt down and gently stroked her withers. “Go on, tell him.”

Slowly, she removed her legs from her head and looked up at the guard. Her voice was barely above a whisper. “She… she’s good to me, I’m not a s-slave anymore.”

Seeing this, the guard softened her tone. “Then why do you call her ‘master’? That’s what slaves call others. You don’t need to stand up for her, you can be free. Just say the word and she’s dead.”

“No!” Gloam shouted, surprising everyone bar me. “I call her master b-because she’s my everything! She saved me from the other slavers by taking me into her stock!” My stomach sank.

For a second, she seemed satisfied with her outburst. When her eyes met mine, she realised her mistake and pure terror spread on her face. “N-no, I didn’t mean it like that! S-she’s not a slaver, I swear! Not anymore!”

The guard looked at me in contempt and said in the voice of someone desperately trying to remain calm, “I suggest you leave. And don’t show yourself around here again.”

I didn’t think twice about the offer, cantering off as quickly as I could, not even taking my caps back. Gloam disappeared into my shadow.

I would kill that motherfucker. In just a few sentences, this asshole had ruined my entire fucking life! I would catch him outside the tower and make him regret fucking me up!

But then again, I was already fucked when I came here, wasn’t I? The thought struck me like a bullet, completely out of nowhere. It was true, though. The underlying issue wasn’t his fault. The rift that had formed between my loved ones and I wasn’t his doing.

This “Jack” was just a consequence of who I was now. He was just some ordinary wastelander who’d done what he believed was right. Yeah, he’d fucked over my plans, but he didn’t deserve to die for it, did he? Sooner or later, this would have come to bite me in the flank. This was how Iron felt, huh? Your past hanging over your head like a sword on a string.

And how would I even go about killing him? For all I knew, he could stay inside Tenpony for months, and I wasn’t allowed anywhere near it, so even if he did leave… Was I really going to risk my life and waste my time to get petty revenge? Yeah, this guy was not worth the trouble. But somepony had to pay.

My mind turned to Crow, and I considered that option for a while. He’d been the one who made me a slaver, was he not? It was his fault that I’d turned out this way.

And yet… I felt no animosity towards him. I just couldn’t bring myself to hate him. He’d taken me in and been my mentor, and even if that ultimately was for the worst, he just wanted what was best for me, instead of leaving me to rot in a cell.

No, if I really wanted revenge, I would need to turn to the root of this all. That fucking pegasus. I’d strip him of his feathers next time I saw him. But who knew how long that would take? He could be anywhere in the fucking wasteland and wouldn’t be easy to take out.

On the other hoof, I did have Iron on my side. She more than likely wanted revenge as well, and she didn’t know who’d caused it. No doubt, she’d want him dead as much as I did, if not more.

Then there was the issue of Star Seeds. Fucker had also thrown a wrench into our plans. I know Iron had also been planning an escape attempt, and this cunt showing up outta nowhere and taking her with him was not a good thing for us.

Tracking him down would be a lot easier, and killing him would be a cakewalk as well. I doubted he’d be wary around me, and Gloam could slit his throat while he’d be least expecting it. Plus, I would need to go to New Detrot anyway if I wanted to find Iron to track down the turkey.

The question remained whether or not I actually should get my revenge…

Maybe ten minutes later, I sat down so that I could think.

My options were limited. On the one hoof, there was still the chance that I could clear my name. Banter was good with words, and he could possibly explain to them all why I’d needed to work as a slaver. However, I had no idea how likely that was to convince them to actually let me in. I knew they had pretty strict rules against slavers and raiders, but how strict? If Banter and Petal stood up for me, would that mean they would end up locked out of having a nice home in Tenpony?

I knew I wouldn’t be able to clear my name alone. I was already on the back hoof, and I doubted I could talk anypony into giving me another shot.

Then, there was the third option, and the one that I’d been considering. I knew Iron couldn’t enter the tower, either. Maybe there was a chance the residents didn’t know her, but I doubted she wanted to take that risk. So after our revenge, she and I could travel the wastes together. While I was definitely over my childish crush on her, she was still a good friend, and living out here with her wouldn’t be a bad life.

Besides, I wasn’t sure anymore if Petal and Banter wanted to stick up for me. After all, to them I was now a slaver. If I were to ask them to help, they would probably feel obligated to take my side. We were family, after all. If I gave them the option, they would do the “right” thing, no matter how bad it was for them; no matter how much they didn’t want to do it. By giving them an opportunity to help me, I’d be forcing them between a rock and a hard place.

Meanwhile, if I went on to live with Iron, she and I could be outcasts together. Gloam would be with us, and while we’d have our past looming over us, we’d still have each other. She wouldn’t judge me for what I’d become.

I was having a smoke on the balcony of my office, enjoying the refreshing cold air. As much as I’d once blamed Iron for dragging us into yet another stupid addiction, I had to admit it was a really good way to relieve stress.

Even if it was ultimately costing me years off my life in the long run, my efforts would save many, many innocents. And if fifteen minute smoke breaks helped me fulfil my duties, then it was more than a good deal.

I took another long draw on my cigarette, enjoying the soothing sensation.

Besides, if the Goddess stayed true to her word, I didn’t have to fear death by sickness anyway.

Suddenly, a large griffin flew into my view. “Hey,” said Grace.

“Hey.” I motioned for her to land on the balcony, and she did.

I had a good idea of what this was about, but I’d try to be more patient than I’d been with Cherry. I kind of felt bad for the way I’d told him off. It was more than rude.

I turned back to look over the peaceful evening streets of New Detrot, and in the corner of my eye I saw Grace do the same, before hearing her clear her throat. “Me, Cherry, and Cotton are leaving tomorrow morning. I know you pretty much said you’d stay here, but I just had to ask.”

It looked like I wouldn’t even have to try and be patient; she already understood. I simply nodded. “Sorry, but I just have too much to do here. It would be irresponsible and cost many lives just for me to meet my cousin. Don’t get me wrong, I do want to meet her, but I do have other priorities.”

Grace let out a sigh. “I figured as much.” She turned to look at me, and I met her gaze. “Well, I guess this is goodbye, at least for now. But… do me a favour. If Iron ever comes back, pass her a message from me… or however that thing you two have works.”

I hummed and nodded, giving her an expectant look.

She took a deep breath. “I don’t really know if you’ll ever hear this, but… I understand how you feel. I mean, you and I have lived very similar lives and all. I totally get the feeling of being incorrigible, of never being able to do better. But I also know that it’s always worth it to keep trying. You can’t undo your mistakes, but you can always try to not repeat them.” Grace pawed at the tiled floor of the balcony. “And sometimes, trying feels like too much of a risk. Like you’ll only manage to fuck up worse. But if Candy taught me one thing, it’s that anyone can change.”

I had no response to that, so I simply said, “I shall pass it along when I get the chance.”

Footnote:

New Quest Perk: Cult of Personality — When you have a way with words, it can be difficult for others to discern your moral standing. As a result, you ignore the effects of your low karma, even when speaking to ponies with high karma.

Chapter 30 — The World From Where I Stand

In the distance, I spotted another abandoned settlement. Thankfully, it didn’t look anything like the previous one we encountered about a week ago. In contrast to Skybridge, this was just a regular small pre-war town. Still, my mind couldn’t help but wander towards Skybridge.

Now was not the time for melancholy, however. “Hey, Gloam, you should hide in my shadow for now. When we get to town, you’ll need to look around, see if anypony’s trying to ambush us.” While I was reasonably certain we wouldn’t encounter any bandits, I still didn’t want to invite any opportunities.

She nodded, then disappeared. I didn’t know if I was imagining it, but I would have sworn that I could sense it when she hid in my shadow. There was no reason for me to believe I was capable of such a thing, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling. Like I was being watched, except I trusted the observer.

As we approached the town, I found my mind constantly wandering back to Skybridge. It had immediately struck me as odd, but for the longest time I hadn’t been able to put my hoof on it.

At some point, however, it jumped out at me. The vast majority of its buildings had been shoddily constructed shacks made out of sheet metal and planks. And yet, only one of them had collapsed. I didn’t know how long such makeshift huts could last on their own, but I knew it couldn’t be very long. Skybridge had only been deserted for just a relatively short while.

Worse still, most of the cabins looked similar, like they’d all been made by the same group of ponies. That, coupled with the fact that I’d never heard of a settlement around here, made me realise that this had been a very young town when the bandits attacked it.

That was my assumption, at least. However, it didn’t seem quite right; there just wasn’t all that much damage to the buildings. If there had been an attack, there should have been more to show it than a few bullet holes. Still, it was my only theory for now.

It wasn’t just the mystery of it all that kept it coming back to haunt my mind. I’d heard many tales of new settlements being founded, only to meet with the harsh reality of the wasteland. I knew it was something that happened all over Equestria.

But seeing it with my own two eyes? It made me a lot more emotional than I liked to admit. Of course, knowing it happened sucked, but telling yourself that it wasn’t your problem was very easy; this was just the way things were in the Equestrian wasteland.

And while I knew the fate of Skybridge wasn’t my problem, seeing it for myself was an intense reminder of how much the wasteland really sucked. Maybe one day I’d be well enough off to afford trying to improve the situation.

Realising that I was getting very close to town, I forced myself to stop thinking about Skybridge. Gloam had probably already moved to a different shadow and started skulking, but I still needed to be on guard.

I didn’t fully understand the limits of her magic. I knew that, without shadows, there was little she could do. That much was obvious, but the fact that she was able to jump from one shadow to another messed with my mind. How did that even work? How big did a shadow need to be?

Whatever, back to Lightford now that I was in the town proper. It was a bog-standard pre-war town. It was unlikely that it used to be a farming town, since the region was not only covered in thick forest, but also surrounded by hills. Instead, it had probably been a rest stop that got most of its caps, er, bits, from travellers heading towards Detrot. Indeed, it didn’t take long for me to spot signs of inns, restaurants, and hotels. I probably would have noticed them near the entrance of town if I hadn’t been distracted.

Soon, I found myself in the centre of town. Maybe Gloam and I could stay here tonight, instead of setting up camp somewhere in the wilderness. If she didn’t find anypony, there really was no reason not to. Lightford was big enough for somepony staying here to remain unnoticed by travellers.

Suddenly, I froze as I saw a pink mare walking out of an alley. My telekinesis reached for my weapon, and when I trained it on her, she stopped in her tracks. She lifted her left leg, waving it defensively. “I don’t mean any harm.”

Given that the shotgun at her side was still holstered, I lowered my pistol.

“What do you want?” I asked, before noticing a shadow move behind her. No doubt, this was Gloam’s way of showing me she was here and ready to back me up.

As the mysterious mare grew closer, I couldn’t help but notice she looked a lot like Candy Cane. Only, she had a primitive prosthesis for a right leg, wore glasses, and… Well, I didn’t remember Candy well enough to list off all the differences, but there were many. Probably.

She wore rudimentary barding very similar to my own. The kind of armour that ponies only wore when they couldn’t justify the cost or the weight of something more substantial.

“Well,” she said, “I’ve been heading north-west for a while now, and wanted to ask if you wanted to travel with me.” Her tone was casual, and her question genuine.

I furrowed my eyebrows, which prompted her to add, “I know it’s a bit of a stretch to travel with a stranger, but I get really lonely otherwise. Then, there’s the added safety benefit of travelling with somepony.” Her gentle smile made part of me want to trust her, but I’d been around Banter long enough to know that a trustworthy exterior usually meant you were hiding something. If somepony put in the effort to seem likeable, they likely shouldn’t be trusted.

“That just sounds like you want us to protect you,” I retorted. She was going out of her way to make it seem like a win-win; maybe it was, but I still couldn’t let my guard down.

She shook her head. “No, I can hold my own in a fight. I know I don’t look the part, but I’m fairly good in close quarters.” She paused for a moment, narrowing her eyes. “Wait, you said ‘us’? Where’s the rest of you?”

I shrugged. “Skulking the town and making sure we don’t get ambushed. I saw one around here before I met you.” If this was a ploy to get me to reveal my cards, I wouldn’t let it work. “Anyway, I don’t know if I can trust a stranger like that; I don’t want to wake up missing all my caps, or with a gun to my head and one of your buddies ploughing me.”

Surprisingly, that took the wind out of her sails. “I… I swear I’m not a bad pony. I’ve… I’ve just been so lonely since I lost my husband and foal.” Great, she was trying to make me pity her. Worse yet, she might be telling the truth.

I sighed. If she really was out to get me, there was a good chance she was with the group of bandits. She didn’t look like a bandit, but was I really going to go off of looks alone?

When I saw her eyes light up with hope, I let out a breath that I didn’t realise I’d been holding. “Fine, but we’ll take precautions. You’ll sleep away from us, we won’t tell you where we will sleep, and we obviously won’t let you keep watch at night. Finally, you’ll be walking in front of the group.”

The mare nodded, and I realised I still didn’t have her name. “I’m Lock, by the way. What about you?” Using my old name, Lockpick, just didn’t feel right anymore. Using my new name, Lock and Key, might give her the wrong impression of me. She’d think I’m a slaver, and I didn’t want that.

“I go by Bubblegum.” The sugary name struck me as an odd coincidence. Though then again, with this shade of pink it made sense, so it probably wasn’t all that uncommon.

“Okay, so, Bubblegum, we’ll be staying in this town tonight. Gloam and I will find a place to sleep; if you or anypony else follow us…” I dragged the edge of my hoof across my neck.

“Gloam? Is that one of your companions?” she asked.

I nodded. “She’s my marefriend.” Bold-faced lie, but it was a good cover story. At worst, ponies would think we were a really weird couple, and I would take that over being branded a slaver. Then again, given a loose enough definition of a relationship, it might not even be a lie to call her my marefriend. “She’s been behind you this entire time.”

Bubblegum turned around, looking about. After a few moments, Gloam seemed to get the hint as she walked out from behind a trash can, less than two metres behind Bubblegum. I could swear I saw the latter shiver. Good.

“Anyway,” I said. “We meet here tomorrow at sunrise. We won’t wait for you if you’re late.”

“So, what’s got you heading north?” asked Bubblegum.

We’d been walking for about ten minutes before she finally turned around and broke the awkward silence. I’d asked her to walk ahead of us, and she reluctantly agreed.

I didn’t take my eyes off the landscape. “One of my friends is currently in New Detrot. I want to see her again.”

“New Detrot? Isn’t that a slaver town now?” She sounded curious, but didn’t seem surprised. Then again, there really wasn’t much up there apart from that one town.

“She was a slave there. Was recently set free; followed Red-Eye’s rules, put in the hard work, and was allowed to go. Don’t ask me why Red-Eye’s rules apply all the way up there. Her letter said she still needed to finish a few things there.” I met her gaze, and she held mine. I had to admit, I was a little bit surprised that she dared walk forwards while looking back, especially with that prosthetic of hers.

“Isn’t she scared of being captured again if she stays around for too long?” she asked before turning back to face the road.

My ears perked at a sudden, distant noise in the forest, but I quickly relaxed. “Nah, once you do your time, Red-Eye’s rules guarantee you freedom. Same thing goes for Gloam and I.” It really only applied to me. Gloam’s case had been special.

“Oooh. I guess that makes sense.” She kicked a pebble that rolled along the road. “For a while, I had a weird feeling you were a slaver and Gloam was your slave. Something about the way she talks to you, I guess.” To my surprise, I didn’t hear any relief in her voice. Like she hadn’t been afraid I was a slaver. Or perhaps she didn’t really believe me? “I assume you two met as slaves and finished your sentences together?”

I groaned on the inside. Why was she so determined to ask all the really annoying questions? “In a way. I did the hard work immediately after being tossed into Fillydelphia. I didn’t want to live as a slave; I preferred risking it all for a chance at freedom. In the end, my master gifted Gloam to me as a way to thank me for my service.” The lies were really starting to pile up. Thankfully, half-truths were the safest form of deception, so I hadn’t quite lied myself into a corner just yet.

“How did you two get captured?” Before I could reply, she added, “I’m sorry if I’m asking too many personal questions, I’ve just never met freed slaves before.”

“I’ll answer this one, but let’s drop the subject after that, okay?” I waited for her answer, and she just turned her head around and nodded before looking forward again. “Gloam was caught as a young filly. Not much more to it, but she’s been a slave for a long time.” I mentally kicked myself for my choice of tense. Hopefully she wouldn’t notice. “It’s why she’s so shy around strangers.”

Gloam, who’d been walking behind me this entire time, let out a quiet “Mhm.”

“And me?” I shrugged. “It’s a long story, but essentially my friends and I were betrayed by somepony we really shouldn’t have trusted.” I was tempted to add that it had only been Banter who’d been stabbed in the back like that, but this really wasn’t anything a stranger needed to know.

“I see…” said Bubblegum.

“What about you?” I nodded towards her even though she couldn’t see me. “Why are you headed north?”

“I have nowhere to go.” She slowed down to walk next to me. “So I just go anywhere. And that anywhere is north, at the moment.”

“So… you picked a region rumoured to be home to a huge group of bandits?” I raised an eyebrow. Something wasn’t adding up here. Unless she was completely disconnected from the world, why would she go here of all places?

She shrugged. “I’d heard there was some bandit activity here, but I figured I’d be fine. I did say it before; I’m a pretty capable fighter.”

Normally, I would have called bullshit, but she seemed so convinced in what she’d said that I doubted she was lying. Not to mention the fact that she did seem quite bulky underneath that flimsy barding… Plus there was the fact that I didn’t really believe the bandits were still around either, though she didn’t even take that into consideration.

So, it was weird that she wasn’t concerned about being ambushed; even the best of mercenaries could fall when caught off guard. Plus there was the fact that this wasn’t a small group of bandits… “Didn’t you see what they did to that town south of here, Skybridge?”

“I did, but I thought this wasn’t the work of bandits. The village was deserted, but not destroyed; bandits wouldn’t simply empty a village.” Her face twisted into a scowl. “I think that was the work of slavers, really.”

She did have a point, and I realised I hadn’t even considered that option; then again, slavers would have also caused collateral damage when fighting the town’s guards, no? This whole thing was enough to rekindle my suspicions about Bubblegum, and I fell quiet.

We continued to walk for a few hours. Bubblegum had gotten ahead of me again, seemingly fully lost in thought.

Eventually, Bubblegum sighed and came back to walk next to me. “Sorry to bring this up now, but there’s a thought I can’t shake.” She took in a long breath, then said, “You remind me of someone I met a long time ago. I’m ninety-nine percent sure you’re her, but the fact that you haven’t recognised me at all really throws me off.”

I stopped. “That’s creepy, because I feel the same way about you, except the mare you remind me of is dead.”

Bubblegum furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head to the side. “So… are you the same Lockpick that travelled with Banter and Petal…?” she asked, just as confused as I was. She knew my pre-Fillydelphia name, so there was no doubt it was her. Admittedly, it probably wasn’t too hard to guess if you’d seen my cutie mark… But she hadn’t.

“Yes…” I replied slowly, realising how badly I'd mixed things up in my head. I'd assumed Bubblegum couldn't be Candy, because I thought she was dead. In reality, I knew very well that she was alive. Banter had told me so… And I knew she’d been married to the fucker responsible for all this…

I had to play my cards right, or she wouldn’t believe me. “And that probably means you are Candy, but Iron was sure you were dead…”

Her eyes went wide. “You’ve… you’ve met Iron? Is that why she never tried to find me? Because she believed I had died? I can’t blame her, but…”

I nodded. “After the incident with the ‘alicorn’, she had some hope you’d survived, but a buck told her he’d already buried you.” I sighed. “To think all this happened because of a misunderstanding…”

“Fuck…” she muttered, slowly shaking her head. Her tone grew hopeful when she asked, “How was she doing? How long ago did you meet her?”

I grimaced and drew a sharp breath through my teeth. “Not great…” I stared at the cloud cover while I tried to find where to start. “For one, she turned to drinking after your ‘death’. I heard her addiction got pretty bad, too.”

“What? But… but she’s too young to drink.” Her ears drooped down, and her tone fell as well. Her objection was so naïve that I almost laughed.

“That never prevented anything in the wasteland…” I sighed and looked away for a moment. “Neither her age nor her drinking problem were enough to stop her from becoming a great markspony and a badass merc, though.” And then, she lost a close friend because of it, I added mentally.

I started walking again, now that the initial shock had worn off. “I can tell you more of what I know of her, but it’s a long story, so let’s keep moving.” I paused for a moment while she caught up to me. “I also wanna know what happened to you.” For one, I was genuinely curious about the things I didn’t know. On top of that… It would be a good way to reveal what her hubby had done, wouldn’t it?

Oddly enough, she seemed to hesitate. “About that… Well, I have something pretty important to tell you. It’s just a pretty long story, and there’s something I need to know first.” She gave me an expectant look, and I returned a confused shrug—which almost caused me to trip over a piece of rubble. “When’s the last time you saw her? Do you know where she was headed?”

I winced, then bit my lip. “Yeah. That…” I gulped. “You won’t like this.” I broke eye contact and looked around, for no real reason other than to buy time. “You remember my friend in New Detrot? That’s Iron.”

Her jaw dropped in horrified shock, and it took a few moments for her to mutter, “Sweet Celestia, Iron…” Candy fell quiet for a few more moments, eyes tearing up. “I had no idea. I knew I should have tried harder to find her, especially after I found a trail… From what I’d heard of her, I thought she was doing okay… Luna smite me, I’m such a horrible sister…” She shook her head. “I shouldn’t think like that.”

She set her gaze onto the road ahead of us and sighed. After a moment, she said, “Do you know how long she's been enslaved? Was she… you know?” Then, she muttered to herself, “Sweet Luna, that poor filly…”

It took me a few moments to understand she was referring to rape. I really didn’t want to answer that. “She got to Fillydelphia with us.” Thankfully, I had ways to dodge the question. “In fact, the pony who sold us out did so because he had a grudge against her. Petal, Banter, and I were just unfortunate casualties.”

“Who would do such a thing?” Her tone was dripping with disgust. “What kind of monster would enact such a horrifying revenge on a filly?”

“Oh. Right…” Now came the fun part. “There’s no way to wrap this nicely.” I didn’t want to hurt her, so it took a surprising amount of effort to get it out. I avoided her gaze for a moment, then met her eyes again. She looked equally confused and curious. “It was a pegasus by the name of Airdrop.” Calling him by the other name Banter had told us about just didn’t feel right.

Candy missed her step and fell face-first to the ground. Instead of getting back on her legs, she sat up. Blood was dripping down her muzzle, but she didn’t care. “That… that can’t be. Why would he do such a thing?”

All I could say was a lame, “I’m sorry…”

Her head snapped towards me, torn between anger and confusion. “You’re lying, you have to be.” Then she looked back down at the ground. “But why would you lie?”

“I promise I’m telling the truth, or at least it’s what Banter told me, since he went behind our backs to talk to Airdrop.” The pity I felt towards Candy made hiding my animosity towards Airdrop easy. Plus there was the fact that the buck was apparently already dead. I would have loved to ruin his life like he’d ruined mine, but it was too late for that.

“Then he’s lying. Platinum would never do such a thing. He’s a good pony, a bit obsessed with his black and white sense of morality, but—” She gasped so intensely that I heard her throat clasp shut. “I really need to talk to him… What did she ever do to get on his bad side?”

Didn’t she say he was dead? Maybe when she said ‘lost’, she’d meant it more in a literal way?

I grimaced, took a sharp breath through my teeth, and said, “There’s… there’s more to this. I know the reason why Airdrop did what he did, and it’s not pretty.” I took a deep breath and sat down next to her. “Truth is, Iron had to do some pretty horrible things to survive on her own. In many ways, she was a bad pony. Far from the worst the wasteland has to offer, but you wouldn’t be proud.”

Candy was pale as a ghost underneath her fur, fear painted on her face. “What… what did she do?”

“She attacked a hoofful of caravans; ones that were poorly protected.” While Candy stared in disbelief, I continued. “Then, when she started working as a hired gun, she took on any job that paid well.”

Candy closed her mouth and shook her head. “I knew this would happen if I ever split up from her. Why, just fucking why did that random asshole have to tell her he buried me? Why couldn’t he give her a better description of whoever he buried‽” She slammed her front hoof on a small piece of concrete, crushing it under her metal shoe. She was looking away from me, but I could see tears running down her cheeks. “So much death and suffering caused by such a stupid misunderstanding.”

I almost didn’t have it in me to tell her it wasn’t a misunderstanding. I wanted to dig Platinum’s grave a bit deeper, but hurting Candy was not easy for me. “Candy, I don’t think it was a misunderstanding. The pony who told her that was Airdrop, when she knocked on his door.”

Candy’s eyes went wide, and she let out one more sob, but didn’t say anything else. After a few minutes of silent crying, she let out a long breath and turned to me. “I need to go see Platinum. After that, I’m coming with you to New Detrot, with or without him. I’m hoping this is all just a huge misunderstanding, and I’ll be damned if I don’t hear out every side.”

At least that gave me the chance to voice my previous question. “Didn’t you say you lost him? Or was that another husband?” I asked her, apprehensive of sounding stupid.

“Oh,” she said with a frown. “You see… I kinda lied to you…”

We continued our journey as we talked. As it turned out, Candy was here with an express purpose. She was the leader of the group of “bandits” who’d been attacking caravans.

When she’d seen the state of Skybridge, she and Platinum investigated, only to find that its fate was the work of slavers who didn’t want to pay the toll. Under the promise of getting them rich, Candy gathered some bandits, then lured passing caravans into ambushes using the same persona she’d shown me.

However, the main reason behind that scheme was to avoid attacking innocent traders by first getting to know everypony passing through. She tried to get extra information about the slaver town up north, but the ponies involved always ended up tight-lipped.

Over time, most of her band dispersed due to lack of profits, but there was still a small core group left. Unlike the rest, they were primarily in it to hamper the work of slavers, either because of a personal vendetta or some kind of hero complex.

I was extremely thankful that she didn’t bring Iron up anymore, because I grew a strong suspicion she was involved in what happened to Skybridge…

“Tell me the truth, Platinum.” Even though I was outside, I could still clearly hear their argument through a hole in the wall. I wasn’t going out of my way to eavesdrop, but I also couldn’t be bothered to get up and find another place to wait. Gloam just seemed too comfortable, her head resting on my lap. At least that was my excuse; in reality I did want to hear Platinum lose everything.

There was a short pause, before Platinum said, “I am telling the truth, Candy. You merely refuse to accept it. I do not know why you are so eager to be deceived by—”

“Spare me that bullshit, Plat. Look me in the eye and tell me you’ve had nothing to do with Iron and I getting split up. Tell me you’ve had nothing to do with her getting enslaved.” I’d never heard Candy this angry before. Admittedly, I hadn’t talked to her all that much, but there was a cold, bitter fury in her voice that didn’t belong with somepony as kind as her. It chilled me to the bone, and I never wanted to be on the receiving end of such a feeling.

There was a long silence inside, and I found my eyes wandering over to Airwaves—or Snowfeather as was apparently her actual name—who was partly watching the two foals run around on the old concrete road and partly looking out for any potential danger.

She’d tried to chat me up, but I’d shut her down immediately. I knew what she’d done to Iron, and while I didn’t want to bring it up, I couldn’t deny my feelings of disgust towards her.

Inside, I heard Candy speak up again, barely loud enough for me to hear, “I knew it…”

A moment later, she stormed out of the cottage, the fur on her face drenched in tears. She didn’t turn to Gloam and I, instead continuing on towards Snowfeather and the two fillies.

Platinum, flying closely behind her, pleaded, “You do not understand, I can explain.”

“You were given plenty of opportunities to explain yourself. Many during this conversation, and so many more before that. Yet you chose to lie to me, so you can fuck right off.” The last part of her sentence was punctuated by a sob.

Having noticed the commotion, Snowfeather flew over and landed in front of Candy, blocking her path. “Hey, what’s going on here?”

“Nothing. I just found out that my husband is directly responsible for enslaving my little fucking sister. Nothing worth mentioning, really. Can’t blame him for not bringing it up.” I couldn’t tell if she was about to burst out in tears or a fit of shouting.

I couldn’t hear it from where I was, but I saw Snowfeather’s mouth open and let out a “What?” She furrowed her brow and shook her head, then said at a volume I could hear, “Why would you do that? That’s horrible!”

“She was a dangerous bandit who had just attacked Dodge Junction’s caravans. I had an opportunity to get rid of her without getting anypony hurt, is that not a good thing? The only casualties were her accomplices, and it pains me so that you would take their word over mine.” He pointed at me with contempt, but I just sighed. He was really going to lie until the bitter end, wasn’t he? At this point it was his word against mine, too.

Too bad for him that Candy had already chosen which of us to believe. She turned around to face him, “Oh, and whose fault is it that Iron became a bandit?”

Platinum groaned in frustration. “You cannot be serious, Candy. You cannot possibly blame me for the actions of somepony else. She chose to be a bandit, not I. I did not put a gun to her he—”

“Spare. Me. The. Bullshit.” Candy’s tone was low and dangerous. Knowing her, I doubted she was going to get physical; she just didn’t seem like the kind of pony to hit her loved ones, no matter how angry she got. And yet, I would be terrified if I was in Platinum’s place. In fact, I’d be scared to no longer qualify as a loved one after pulling such a stunt.

“Wait, wait, what?” Snow repeatedly moved her gaze from one to the other. “You two need to slow down. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Candy turned back around. “You see, Platinum thought it would be a lovely idea to lie to Iron in order to get her away from me. He told her I was dead.”

Again, Snowfeather’s jaw dropped. “Why… Why would you do that? I thought you were better than that…”

Finally, Platinum’s mask cracked. “Because I fuckin’ thought it was fer the best!” Gone was the clear enunciation, gone was the prim and proper choice of words, both replaced with a rustic accent. He turned to Candy, who was grinding her teeth. “You told me everything that happened to you since y’all went ahead and left the stable, and do you know what I thought? I was darn glad she was out of your life. She was ruinin’ it, and you were lettin’ it happen just ‘cause you were stuck with her.”

Candy opened her mouth, but he continued. “What I saw in front of me back then was a bright young mare who’d gone through a hell she didn’t deserve. A young mare whose beautiful worldview was slowly gettin’ chipped away with every fucked up thing that happened to her.”

He landed in front of her. “Truth is, Candy, I fell in love with you in just a few short days. Whenever I saw you, I just wanted to preserve that beautiful, innocent way to look at things.” Looking her straight in the eye, he added, “I just didn’t wantcha to get hurt…”

This time, Candy was speechless, mouth agape. He reached out and gently touched her cheek. “I’m sorry for goin’ behind your back, I really am.” She didn’t immediately swat it away, instead lightly pushing it aside. Platinum broke eye contact, watching his hoof being moved with a hurt look. His expression had me holding back a sneer.

“But…” she tried to rebut.

“It’s just… when I saw Iron, standin’ there, right in front of me… I realised I couldn’t let you go back to hurtin’ yourself.” He looked Candy in the eye, and I saw her expression soften further. She still didn’t look fully convinced, but I could tell she was coming around. Had I been wrong? Would I need to take my revenge in a more direct way? I’d feel bad for Candy, but Gloam could definitely kill him while he slept. It also wouldn’t be nearly as fun… Maybe I’d need to think this through a bit more.

She sighed and lowered her head. “But that was not your choice to make…” Her tone wasn’t accusatory, just sad.

Platinum slowly nodded. “I know, and I’m sorry for that. I shoulda told you way sooner, but I was scared of your reaction, because I knew what I did was wrong.” He placed his hoof on her cheek again, but this time she didn’t push it away. “I just didn’t want to see somepony as precious as you lose yourself for the sake of somepony like her.” Wrong choice of words, bucko.

Candy’s face twisted into a scowl, and she took a step back. “‘Somepony like her’?” she spat in a vicious tone. “Do you have any idea of what she’s been through? I told you some of it, but I never told you that her father used to rape her! That’s why she killed him! And her mother? Treated her like a blank slate; a tool to fulfil her own dreams.” She stomped on the ground hard enough to startle the foals. “She had issues, but none of them were her fault! She didn’t deserve to be cast out just because of how she was brought up! She was a good filly, Plat!”

Back to schadenfreude, then. Platinum stumbled backwards and fell on his rump. I couldn’t see his face, as it was obscured by Candy, but I could see his jaw open and close repeatedly. I really wanted to see his expression right now, but knowing he was hurting was good enough for me. Just to make sure that he wouldn’t become an issue down the line, I’d have Gloam kill him when she got the chance. Now, I wouldn’t even have to feel bad for it.

Candy let out an angry sigh before turning to me. “I’m done here, Lockpick. Let’s go.” While I started getting up, she looked at Snowfeather, who was still shell-shocked. “If you want to leave with us, feel free.”

That snapped Snow out of her stupor. A few moments later, she said to Platinum, “I just don’t get it. I really don’t.” She shook her head in disapproval. “I would never have thought you would do anything so heinous. I always believed you were such a good pony, but to find out you would do something like this…”

That one sentence was enough to make me change my mind. She was acting like she had the moral high ground, how fucking ironic, all while pretending she didn’t know. She was going down, too.

“What? That’s odd,” I spit in a mocking tone, sneering. “I could have sworn you knew about it. Iron said she’d told you about it when you were getting her drunk. What was it, three years? Three and a half?” I let out a laugh, filled with every last drop of contempt I felt, taking steps towards her. “Or were you maybe too busy staring at her tiny, juvenile flank to listen to any of her worries?” With how low her head hung, I was towering over her, even with my small stature. I let out another mirthless laugh. “I bet you were begrudging that it wasn’t blank, weren’t you? Disgusting.”

“That’s… that’s not true…” she muttered. Was that genuine remorse I heard, or was she just ashamed she’d gotten caught? “She made the first move, and I didn’t get her drunk… She was drinking on her own, and I just joined in.” She pawed at the ground and swallowed. “She’s the one who insisted on following me to my place… She kissed me, and I was too drunk to think it was a bad idea… She wanted it, too…”

She genuinely sounded like a foal caught with her hoof in the cookie jar. What the fuck…?

I wouldn’t let her get away with it. “No, she didn’t.” I punctuated my words with a stomp of my hoof. “You know what she actually wanted? Somepony to hold her and tell her things would be okay.” Yeah, she couldn’t have known, but that was hardly an excuse.

Snow lowered her head even further. “I didn’t know that…”

Thankfully, Candy wasn’t willing to treat her like a filly either. “Sweet fucking Luna, Snow! What the fuck is wrong with you?” she screamed, then turned around and started pacing and ranting to herself. “She goes and does something as heinous as taking advantage of a drunk filly, then has the audacity to sound like this. How can anypony sink so fucking low?”

She decided to face Snow again and said, “Snow, this is like somepony raping a slave, then claiming it’s okay because the slave never dared to say no!”

Shattered was my schadenfreude, and I winced. Did she know? Was this aimed at me? No, it couldn’t be. I wasn’t like that. Gloam never said no, but I could tell she did want it. To her, it was the ultimate reward! I was nothing like Snow. I couldn’t think of a single instance of Gloam and I doing it where it would have been wrong.

I turned my attention back to Candy’s ranting at Snow. “… and for a moment I didn’t know why you’d keep something so important from me, but I guess I can’t fucking blame you for wanting to hide the fact that you’re a gigantic fucking creep.”

Neither Platinum nor Snow said anything after that. Snow was quietly crying, while Platinum seemed like his soul had left his body. I had to admit, I was very happy with myself.

After warning the two against following her, Candy picked up the worried-looking pegasus filly, and the four of us set out for New Detrot once again.

Candy and I were sitting around a table in a small cottage, with Moonwing sleeping on her mother’s lap, having somehow managed to curl up tightly enough to perfectly fit. A fire was burning in the chimney behind me, and we’d used it to brew some tea to ward off the cold. We’d still need a while for the room to heat up.

I had to admit, I wasn’t used to being around foals this young, and somehow I couldn’t stop myself from thinking she was adorable. I always thought I would have hated travelling with a foal; they were loud, demanded a lot of attention, and overall were a huge nuisance. And yet, I didn’t mind Moonwing. Maybe it was because Candy was taking care of her so well, or maybe it was some kind of maternal instinct waking up in me.

Gloam was asleep too, as she would take the first watch after Candy and I went to bed.

We’d been travelling together for the better part of two weeks now and were slowly approaching New Detrot. While I was excited to meet Iron, I also had something on my mind. Candy had hinted at it a few times, but now I was really running out of time to ask about it. I was just really afraid of the answer.

I cleared my throat and spoke in a quiet tone, “So, do you have anything else to do in New Detrot?”

Candy nodded. “I still need to bring to justice whoever did that to Skybridge. I know I can’t get to Star Seeds, not without a huge band to get past the guards. What I can do, however, is take out his blood-soaked right hoof. The pony who does his dirty work.” Noticing that I was trying to get a word in, she paused for a moment.

“I thought you used to have a very large amount of bandits at your disposal. Why didn’t you attack back then?” I was dodging around the topic. I was afraid to accidentally bring up Iron, but I also wanted to understand the situation better before I said anything.

She grimaced. “That was the original plan, yeah. With every successful attack, we managed to find more ponies for our cause. I was worried that if we attacked with too few members, it would end in a bloodbath. Maybe we’d win, but at a considerable loss. So I always wanted more.” She sighed. “Then, the caravans stopped coming. Every week without a hit, we lost ponies. At first it was just the bored ones; the ponies who weren’t committed to the cause at all, and who were just looking for a quick buck. Then, more and more left, until there were just six of us remaining.”

“Ah shit, talk about bad timing.”

Candy nodded. “All that to say that Star Seeds is well out of my reach for now. However, like I said before, I’d need to kill his right hoof anyway before I even got to him.” She took a deep breath and continued, “As far as I know, she’s just as guilty as him, because she’s the one who attacked Skybridge.”

“You mean a single pony took out that town?” That much wasn’t even a question anymore, not with everything I knew.

“Yeah. I didn’t believe it either when we were told, but judging by the damage, it wasn’t any sort of large group. The pony we asked had no reason to lie, either.” She took a long sip out of her tea, prompting me to do the same. This far north, the cold was starting to get through my coat.

Candy put down her cup. “Platinum investigated, and pretty much confirmed that Seeds has a pony he calls his right hoof. She’s a deadly, ruthless killer. And worst of all, she’s very capable.” She sighed. “I’m… I’m scared to take on a monster like her. But if I don’t, the tragedy of Skybridge might happen again.”

“I don’t think it will. Skybridge was destroyed because they stood in Star Seeds’ way. If nopony builds another town like that, it shouldn’t happen. You don’t have to risk your life.” Frankly, I just didn’t want either Iron or Candy to have to kill their sister.

Candy took another sip of her tea and frowned. “Maybe… but it still doesn’t feel right. Leaving a demon like her alive just doesn’t sit with me. The crime she committed is too great, the lives she destroyed too many. I can’t forgive that.”

“I… didn’t take you for the vengeful kind, Candy.” My worst fears were coming true. I shouldn’t have put off this question, all I’d done was reduce how much time I had.

She grimaced as she looked at her reflection in the cup. “Me neither, but that town meant too much to me. I can’t just accept its destruction.” She shook her head. “I know I’m being overly emotional. I know I’m being a hypocrite. I know I wouldn’t do this for any other town, but I feel like it is my duty to kill the mare who destroyed a place I loved.”

I knew I was going to regret this, even before I opened my mouth. And yet… “What if she didn’t have a choice? Seeds is a slaver, you know?”

“You always have a choice, Lockpick.” She put down the cup on the ruined table with enough force to spill some of it. “A slave strong enough to take over an entire village on her own especially sounds like she has a choice.”

“Life isn’t that simple, Candy. And please stop calling me that. My name is Lock. Lock and Key. I don’t deserve my old name any more, not after what I had to do.” Candy looked utterly confused. With my nerves threatening to sew my throat shut, I swallowed. “In Fillydelphia, I was forced to become a low-ranking slaver, or become a slave myself. Gloam isn’t my marefriend, she’s my slave. I tried to set her free, honest, but her mind is so deeply shattered that she believes I’m her only purpose in life.” I didn’t give myself any breaks to breathe, fearing I wouldn’t be able to finish what I had to say.

“I…” Candy tried to speak, but nothing else came out of her mouth. She wasn’t looking at me with contempt, just… disappointment. That stung more than I liked to admit.

Still, I continued, “I want to pretend like she’s a free pony. A pony who made the decision to go along with me after we were both set free. I knew she would die if I forced her to go. But I still don’t like the implications of letting her stay.” I looked at my reflection, almost like I was trying to see my younger, innocent self in there. Like I was trying to undo who I’d become. “Because ultimately, it makes her my slave, and me her master, no matter how I look at it.”

Candy’s expression softened, but she remained quiet.

I let out a long breath. “My point is… what if Seeds' right hoof is the same? A mare with a psyche so shattered that she doesn’t think on her own. Would she still deserve to die?” I knew it wasn’t the case, but I didn’t dare mention that. I just wanted Candy to see the nuance, and this would all be better.

“I…” She hesitated for a long while, before finally responding, “I don’t think she deserves it, but she still needs to face the consequences of her actions. A mare like that cannot be allowed to live, even if her story would be tragic. She would be too much of a danger to leave alive.” She slowly shook her head. “Killing her wouldn’t make me a good pony, but it is still my duty.”

“Are… are you saying you would kill Gloam if I made her do something similar? You’ve seen her, she’s pathetic.” I didn’t like drawing her ire on myself, but if it was needed to make Candy see that this wasn’t such a clear-cut situation…

Candy slowly nodded. “I think so. And then I would kill you, if I could. Even if you saw becoming a slaver as a necessity, you ultimately still made that choice. So if you were to commit an atrocity like Skybridge, I would have to put you down.”

Her tone really struck a nerve with me. It was serious, but still too casual for what she was saying. “You threaten me to my face, and you act like it’s no big deal? Excuse me, but what the fuck?”

“Lock, please, calm down,” Candy said with a pained expression. “I’m not threatening you. I don’t want to hurt you, but if we become enemies, I know I can’t afford to treat you any differently.”

I gritted my teeth, but managed to contain my outburst. I opened my mouth to say something, but realised I didn’t know what to say. Candy was always a good pony, and always the type to protect others. It wasn’t her fault that I’d become somepony to be protected from.

No, the fault lay with Platinum and Star Seeds, and they were the ones who needed to feel my wrath. Platinum was already done for. I still wanted to kill him to make sure he wouldn’t be an issue in the future, but he’d already disappeared by the time Gloam went back to their hideout.

Star Seeds on the other hoof? I could definitely still carve up and kill.

I let out a long, drawn out sigh in an attempt to calm myself down. “You’ve changed, Candy Cane. I have as well, so I can’t really blame you for it, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to keep talking about this.”

Face glum, Candy nodded. I took a few more moments to find a way to word my next sentence properly. “I think we should split up before getting near New Detrot, and that you should come into town at least a few days after me. I’m going to kill Star Seeds, and I don’t want the townsfolk to suspect you or Iron. We’ll meet up again in Lightford, and hopefully things will be better between us by then.”

Candy furrowed her brow in disbelief. “Kill Star Seeds? Why and how?”

“I’d be lying if I said it’s not for revenge. I blame the fucker for what I’ve been through, but it’s a long story that can wait for later.” In fact, it was better if Candy and Iron met up before I told it. “But I also want to prove that I’m not your enemy.” And, if I got rid of Star Seeds, Candy wouldn’t feel obligated to kill Iron, hopefully. “As for how? Using the same underhoofed tricks I learned in Fillydelphia. I won’t involve Iron, though, don’t worry.” Mostly because Iron was about as stealthy as a glowing ghoul in the middle of Tenpony Tower.

She nodded, but didn’t say anything while I gathered my things. Once I had everything, I said, “Goodbye for now, Candy. I hope your reunion with Iron goes well.”

Within five minutes, Gloam and I were already on the road again.

Chapter 31 — The Pony I Want to be

The Pony I Want to be

It was late at night, and I was headed for my quarters. I pulled on my cigarette, glad that I would finally get to relax.

I’d slept in my office for the last two weeks. It just never seemed worth it to make the thirty minute round trip just to sleep for a couple of hours. In hindsight, I probably would have gotten better sleep on a proper bed, but back then I’d just been too preoccupied with getting everything ready as soon as possible.

I still had a lot of work to do, of course, but it was now manageable enough that I could finally afford full nights of sleep again. I couldn’t even remember what it was like to not be tired.

Maybe I’d soon have the time to practise my singing again. I had some ideas floating around my head for lyrics, but I hadn’t allowed myself to take the time to write them down. I really missed messing around with music.

Suddenly, I heard somepony land behind me. Too light to be a griffin. I turned around instinctively, only to find myself staring down the barrel of a pistol. Ironshod Firearms, with a nine mil, thirty-three—or maybe twenty-seven—round magazine.

The buck holding it was somepony Iron was familiar with. Bluish off-white coat, light grey mane, and emerald green eyes. He was that one courrier who’d screwed her over on at least one occasion. Now, for some reason, he was holding me at gunpoint.

“I don’t have any caps on me, you know,” I stated in a flat tone.

In addition to the mouthgun, he also had two shotguns mounted on a battlesaddle. Though, judging by how they were attached, I doubted he was very experienced with either. The saddle’s trigger bit was one step away from getting tangled in the straps hanging from the pistol holster around his neck. It was rare to see an amateur in this much gear.

He just shook his head and gestured for me to continue walking. I was grateful that he didn’t try to speak with a gun in his mouth, because that could have ended badly. I didn’t immediately comply, however.

He probably wanted to get me somewhere isolated. What did he want with me? If he just wanted to kill me, he would have already done so. Yeah, he’d alarm the guards, but by the time they understood what happened, he would already be long gone. It wasn’t all that difficult to stay hidden in the night sky, after all.

I’d never really considered the threat of flyers sneaking their way into town at night. I would have to find a way to prevent that in the future, if I survived this mess.

Still, the question of why he was here remained. Did he maybe want to take his time killing me? Rape me, perhaps? Those were both things a raider would do, but somepony who’d been a courier most of his life? I doubted it.

He was getting impatient, so I quickly weighed my options. If I went with him, he’d most certainly kill me when we were alone. However, if I tried resisting him here… My odds weren’t great either. Attempting to get off one of the few combat spells I’d learned from Star would be difficult in such conditions. I’d be able to avoid a few of his shots, but with a magazine of this size, it was just a matter of time before one of them hit.

While this body could definitely survive a whole slew of wounds, I hadn’t been around any sources of radiation lately. Most shots had the potential to be lethal if they hit.

In normal times, Iron could get rid of him in no time, but in her current state she might just let herself get gunned down. Besides, it was my turn to handle our problems. She’d taken care of us long enough, now it was up to me to get out of trouble.

I turned around and started walking towards the town’s edge. Currently, it was my best bet. At the very least, it would give me time to think, which was the one thing I was lacking right now.

I could always try to conspicuously pass in front of one of the guard towers and get them to forcefully revoke his ability to breathe. Seriously, what did he want from me?

Behind me, I heard him sheathe the pistol, then deploy the trigger bit to have it in front of his mouth. “Walk faster. If anypony spots us, I will immediately blow your head off.”

Ah, well, there went that plan. At least it opened the door for discussion. “What do you want? I’m assuming you wouldn’t just randomly rob a pony like me.”

“I want to talk,” he stated in a flat tone.

And probably kill me right after, given that he hadn’t simply come see me in my office, like a sane pony would. In fact, he really wanted to kill me. Otherwise, why risk his life like this? Surely he was aware of how dangerous Iron was, and surely he was aware that a firefight in the middle of New Detrot would get him pinned down by Talons in a matter of minutes? He was much too willing to risk his life for a mere conversation.

I led him through the metro tunnels and into the blue line’s secret passage. It was the only remaining underground entrance to New Detrot, and only a select few ponies knew about it. It was, of course, the safest way to get in and out of town for somepony who wanted to avoid the guards. The main tunnel had been plugged weeks ago. Only one maintenance hallway remained, its entrance hidden out of sight and locked.

Over the course of our ten or so minute walk through the tunnels, I tried to strike up a conversation multiple times. Yet, despite having claimed to want to talk, he shut me down every time I attempted to do so. I would have expected him to take the bait, but he seemed acutely aware that I was just trying to buy more time.

After we left the tunnel, we continued along a small road leading into the woods. Eventually, he spoke up, “Stop. I believe we are far enough away.” What was up with that overly formal speech? Why was he trying to sound like Equestria’s most boring politician?

I knew I was in danger, and yet everything about him made me want to disrespect him. He wasn’t competent enough to carry weapons properly, and he talked like a complete idiot. How was I supposed to really take in the gravity of the situation?

Before I could get swept up with my monologue, I decided to do as he said, turning around to face him. “So, what is it that you want?” I had to admit, this wasn’t a good situation to be in. The saving grace was that I really didn’t think he would shoot me, at least not immediately. If that was it, he would have already shot me, and there was no way any of our guards would have caught him.

Oddly enough, I still wasn’t scared. I understood the danger, but it simply did not feel real. Maybe I was still expecting Iron to save me, if push came to shove? Now that thought was scary. I really needed to take this seriously.

“I wanted to make you realise just how horrible of a pony you are.” He tried to sound calm, but couldn’t stop his voice from shaking in anger.

“You’re telling me you did all this work and took all this risk just to inform me of something I already knew?” It was a gambit. Pissing him off could very well lead to me getting shot, but I could tell there was something more to this. Maybe he wanted to hurt me emotionally? I really had no idea, but I knew upsetting him might make him reveal more.

If I knew what had him in this state, I could maybe use it against him.

“If you truly did, you would have stopped doing the things you do,” he stated with fake composure, glaring at me with contempt. But there was something more. He wasn’t just hateful, or even angry, he was also hurt.

I replied with more provocation. “What do you know about me?” From what Grace had told Iron, he knew what she’d done while with Candy. Those were fairly minor things, and decidedly not enough to make somepony ‘horrible’.

On the other hoof, it was more than likely he’d played a part in our enslavement. On top of that, it happened right after the events in Dodge. Overall, I had a feeling he might know about Iron’s misdeeds as a bandit.

He huffed in disdain. “I only know of what is easy to find for somepony with an investigative spirit.” He flicked his tail in a way that looked instinctive more than deliberate. He was really upset, wasn’t he? “Like what you did to Skybridge.”

“How would you know that?” Come on, you stupid turkey, reveal your cards already. Great, now I was getting impatient. I needed to take this seriously, but something about this buck just irritated me to the deepest of my being. Iron hated him for very valid reasons. I hated him for petty reasons.

Thankfully, I hadn’t said anything stupid yet, despite how tempting it was.

While I was busy with my mental tirade against him, he exhaled sharply through his teeth, shaking his head in disapproval, then finally said, “Why do you insist on acting like it is difficult to find out? There was a mare in Skybridge you failed to enslave. She has seen Star Seeds and his underlings capture everypony she knew.”

“I happen to work with Star Seeds, yes, but what makes you think I was involved in that attack?” My tone was perfectly neutral, but I gave him a tiny little smirk that made his jaw clench.

Still, he held onto his paper-thin façade. “According to her, a single pony took out the town’s guards. Though she did not see that pony’s face, I have investigated the matter. I found out Star Seeds was seen travelling with a tall unicorn mare whose colours match yours.” Then, in a tone that was clearly meant to resemble annoyance, he said, “You can stop acting ignorant now.”

“Alright, then you’re probably also aware of how little choice I had in the matter. I was a slave, remember?” I shook my head in mock disappointment. “If you want, you can blame the fuckers who captured me and sold me out into slavery.”

“What? You can’t just—” He groaned in frustration. Good. His mask was cracking, but he was still willing to play my game. Or perhaps he believed I was playing his? Still, I was pissing him off, but he hadn’t gunned me down on the spot yet. There was a good chance I could turn this around if things continued going my way.

He shook his head and took a deep breath, sealing the more obvious cracks of his mask. “Unfortunately for you, my wife and I were very fond of Skybridge. Since I did not want to break her heart, I did not tell her who you were, and just referred to you as Star Seeds’ right hoof.” A very small smirk appeared on his face when he added, “She did, however, swear to take down whoever had destroyed Skybridge.”

“Your wife…?” It couldn’t be, could it? There was only one pony that came to mind, but surely it wasn’t her. And yet, Grace had said the two were decently close last time she’d seen them…

“Candy Cane.” He tried to be deadpan, but I could swear I saw the tiniest fragment of a fiendish smile on his face. “And yes, I did lie to you all these years ago.” I already knew this, but the fact that he was daring to try and provoke me was pissing me off.

More importantly… why would Candy marry somepony like this…? Did he trick her? Well, that much was obvious, but how deep did the deception run? Did he manage to hide how much of a pathetic piece of shit he is?

“Anyway,” he continued, clearly amused at my confused frustration. “It is now only a matter of time before you come to face her wrath.”

“Why now of all times?” And why did he come to gloat about it? He wanted to hurt me with that revelation, but why…? Could it be…?

“Because she is going to find out what you did, why else?” His voice carried an odd matter-of-fact tone. The kind somepony would usually go for when trying to distract from something else.

I had an idea. It would certainly explain how hurt he sounded beneath the layers of contempt, and why Candy had found out about things now, rather than later. Regardless of how much sense it made in my head, this was going to be a gamble. Either I was right, and I’d probably be able to manoeuvre my way out of this, or I was wrong, and he would finally have enough of me.

I looked him straight in the eye as I asked, “She left you, didn’t she?” His response was immediate. He may have tried to cover it up, but the reaction on his face couldn’t be hidden. “Somehow, she found out about me, and the role you played in my life.”

Now came the tricky part. Before he could snap out of his stupor, I softened my tone. “I’m… sorry to hear that.” I gave him a gentle, sympathetic smile. “I don’t know the details, but by the sound of it, it seems like you genuinely love her.” That, or he loved the idea of her.

He blinked away a single tear, his face twisting from grief to anger just as quickly. “What would somepony like you know about me? I do not require your sympathies, as it is your fault that I am in this predicament to begin with.” Try as he might to sound calm but threatening, even a foal would have realised he was fuming.

Great, he was blaming me for his own lies collapsing in on himself. A childish, petty part of myself was tempted to call him out on it, but I had a role to play. I couldn’t even call him by his true name, since I wasn’t supposed to know it.

Instead, I just softened my tone further to a pleading one. “Please, Airdrop, realise that this won’t lead anywhere.” It wasn’t the tone of somepony begging for her life. It was that of a good friend urging somepony not to do something they would later regret. “Candy might still forgive you, you should know that. It’s just the way she is, accepting to a fault.” With any luck, he was aware of that flaw of hers.

I saw his jaw clench, and he hesitated for a moment. Finally, I was starting to push him into the corner I wanted him in. After a short moment, he said, with much less conviction than before, “You have come to understand that Candy will kill you, have you not? Begging for your life now is utterly pointless.” He tried to come across as cocky, but I wasn’t buying it.

The pained grimace on my face was definitely real, and I had to take advantage of it. “I know… But at the same time… It is still her choice to make. Her acceptance has its limits, and I don’t expect to escape her wrath.” I let out a long, sad breath. “That’s why I think she would need to be the one to kill me. It would be meaningless if anypony else did, wouldn’t it?” I had to hope he would buy it. From what I knew of him, the odds were good. He seemed to be obsessed with poetic justice and what not, so why wouldn’t he jump on this opportunity?

From the expression on Platinum’s face, I could tell I’d just won. He was reconsidering everything.

“Ah guess you’re right about that,” he muttered, suddenly sounding a lot less sophisticated, but somehow infinitely more respectable. What was that about?

I gave him my saddest smile, needing to make an active effort to prevent it from turning into a smirk.

He sighed and averted his gaze, staring at the ground in thought. This could be my chance to hit him with an anaesthetic spell, but would I be able to get it off before he noticed? It would ruin everything if not.

He took a step forward, and he raised his hoof slightly, as if to shake mine. Without putting any thought into why he’d do that, I mimicked the gesture. Platinum’s face twisted into a grimace, and he struck my brow with enough force to make me lose my balance and knock me to the ground.

“Fuck you, and fuck your kinda ponies!” he screamed loud enough for it to echo into the night. “I almost fuckin’ fell for it too, ‘cause I forgot how Celestia damn twisted y’all are. I just didn’t expect you to be such a schemin’ piece of shit on top of bein’ a mass murderer.” Too dazed, I didn’t put any thought into what he said or how.

I got up much quicker than I should have, my head badly spinning. I couldn’t let that distract me. Things really weren’t going well for me, and this stubborn buck was really starting to piss me off.

While I stood there, using my obvious lack of balance as an excuse to think, he continued screaming at me, “If I let you live here, you’re gonna go ahead and talk Candy into forgiving you, aren’t you?” He had me there. Even though I had a feeling it would be very difficult, it would still be easier than trying to subdue her. Besides, I owed that much to Iron. “Ponies like you deserve nothing good.”

Alright, mirror his anger first, then deescalate from there. Or maybe I just wanted to scream, too. “What the fuck do you know about me? You act like you understand everything I’ve been through, just because you know what this prick Star Seeds forced me to do!” Badmouthing Star wasn’t something I enjoyed, but I had to. Maybe a few months ago I would have meant it, but ever since he and I had grown closer to him, I just couldn’t see him in the same light.

At my sudden outburst, he took an unintentional step backwards. Emboldened by the effects of my words, I stomped on the ground as I continued, “I’m not gonna claim I had no choice here, but you can’t fucking deny the circumstances that pushed me into it.” I almost slipped and accused him of being at fault for it, but he’d see right through me if he realised just how much I knew.

He huffed and said, “What about the caravans you attacked?”

“You think that was any different?” I started off harsh, then sighed and softened my tone. “I was starving, and all I had to my name was a rifle and a dozen bullets.” Yeah, ultimately Iron had attacked the first caravan because she was so angry at them, but Platinum didn’t need to know that.

He tried to come up with a rebuttal, but I cut him off with another sigh. “Look, Airdrop, I do regret my actions, and I understand that they were wrong, even without a stranger telling me. If all you want is to make sure I feel remorse, then there is no need, because I’m far from happy with what I’ve had to do.”

I turned away from him and stared at the ground. “Plus, you know that I’ll have to deal with Candy’s wrath, one way or another. Even if I manage to persuade her not to kill me, I have little hope that I’ll ever manage to make it up to her. I will have to live with the knowledge that she won’t ever forgive me.”

I decided to face him again. He didn’t seem convinced, but at least now appeared conflicted rather than angry. I took a step towards him and said, “I don’t want to do any of that again. I just want to finally settle down and finally help some ponies rather than hurt them…” I extended my hoof to him. “So please, let us both walk away from this and pretend like it never happened. I’m not looking for a fight.”

That seemed to do the trick, as his ears drooped and he looked down. He pawed at the ground for a moment before looking back up. “I… Ah don’t want to fight either, but what else can Ah do?” Oh, so the prim and proper speech really was just a façade… Now he was opening up… Fascinating.

He shook his head. “My life’s ruined, and there’s nothin’ more left for me…”

There. That was my opportunity to get him off my case. “Well, killing me won’t fix anything, as you already know. It’s… it’s the only reason I didn’t jump you the moment I found out you lied to me.” I gave him a sad smile, which only seemed to make him more conflicted. “Deep down, I blame you for the path I went down. Everything would have gone differently if I hadn’t been split from Candy. I never would have robbed anypony, and I never would have ended up as Star Seeds’ slave.”

I shook my head. “But still, I chose to leave it behind and talk it through. I agreed to follow you here because I know I can outmanoeuvre your guns and cap you before you can even realise what’s going on. I chose to avoid violence, Airdrop.”

Given how contemplative he seemed, I’d likely succeeded. After a few more moments, he wrapped his hoof around mine. Finally. “I…” he muttered. Then, all of a sudden, his grip tightened, and he pulled me forwards, using his wings to make up for the difference in size. I fell, with only my right foreleg preventing my face from slamming into the ground.

I groaned. How hard was it to meet anypony who was at least somewhat mentally stable? He was at least as much of a schizo as Iron, and that was saying a—

That thought was interrupted by him landing on my withers and slamming my head into the concrete road. The world grew blurry for a moment, and the next thing I knew, I was flipped on my back. He sat on my ribcage, holding both of my forelegs spread out with his hind ones. Any plans evaporated as raw fear poured into my mind. Was I done? My life couldn’t end here, I—

My body attempted to cough, as one of his front hooves was pressed into my throat, making each breath nigh impossible. I had to defend myself! My vision was already turning black.

I pushed as much magic as I could into my horn in a haphazard attempt at telekinesis, but a hard slap across the horn sent shockwaves of agony through my entire skull. I could have sworn I saw part of it chip off, and the idea sent a wave of despair and fury through me.

I didn’t have time to lament the injury as Platinum’s hoof struck my muzzle again. His face was twisted with rage and hatred. “You think,” he panted. “That I would ever forgive a monster such as yourself?” He redoubled the pressure on my throat. My every gasp reminded me of how close my bones were to snapping.

The pain brought tears to my eyes, but that only seemed to make Platinum angrier, fuelling his vengeful sadism. “You are wrong. Ponies like you do not deserve to be alive and need to be removed from the wasteland.” He slapped me across the face, again and again, until I felt blood trickle down the side of my head.

“Did you not claim you could take me on? Well, what about it, now? Not so strong, are you?” I was going to kill him. He wouldn’t get away with this.

He leaned forward, opting to choke me with his leg rather than hoof, letting me catch some of my breath. I was as thankful as I was terrified at the realisation he wouldn’t kill me right away. With his face only mere centimetres away from my muzzle, he said, “I do not have the slightest shred of empathy for murderers like you. You may think this is all my fault, but you are simply delusional.”

Even with the pressure on my throat, I managed to rasp, “I never said—”

I was cut off by another slap to the face. “Quiet,” he threatened. “I refuse to give you even one more word to poison my mind with.” I was going to kill him. I was going to end his life. He was talking to me, but I didn’t care.

I was going to kill him. That thought had replaced everything else in my mind right now, and for the first time in my life, I felt rage. Not annoyance, not frustration, not mundane anger. Rage. The kind of raw, unadulterated fury that I thought was beneath me. It was a feeling that normally brought out Iron, but with her gone…

Fear momentarily took the centre stage. I wasn’t going to kill him, I was going to die!

He pressed his leg deeper into my throat, and my panic redoubled. “Listen to me when I am talking, you worthless scum! I will not allow you to zone out while I make your last moments as miserable as possible! I wish I had the ability to restrain you properly and deliver you to a group of raiders so they can rape you to death.”

As the edges of my vision were once again growing dim, I prayed. To Luna. To Celestia. To Discord. To the stars. I didn’t care. I wanted to live, if only so I could kill this fucker.

“I should have sold you out into slavery the moment I found out just how horrible you were. Deep down, ponies never change, but a slaver would have made sure to change the surface. Fillies like you, when conditioned early enough, can still be fixed.” Another slap, but along with my sight, all my other senses had also grown numb. All I still could feel were the burning agony of his leg crushing my windpipe, and the searing rage inside my heart. “And they would have made sure to put you to good use before you grew your fangs. Ponies like you deserve everything bad in the world. You deserve to be beaten, raped, and worked to death.”

My vision faded entirely to black as his tirade continued. So this would be the end, huh? Ultimately, I was powerless.

We were walking westwards, the road underneath us covered in a thin layer of mud.

It had been a week since Cotton, Grace, and I had left New Detrot, but I still felt as shitty as the day itself. I knew I should be glad that I was finally getting to leave that life behind, but things weren’t quite so simple.

Frankly, I was still mourning the loss of Iron as I knew her. Even though she wasn’t dead, the fact that I would never see her again still stung horribly. Perhaps it was because she was still alive, but I just couldn’t come to terms with losing her.

I tried to justify it, tell myself that it was for the best; that this would hurt less than seeing a stranger wear her face all the time. I tried to reason that I had to leave that town anyway, or else I’d never find my mom and sisters.

And yet, it still hurt. If only I’d done things differently. If only I hadn’t pushed so hard for her to open up. Or maybe if I had pushed harder, but also sooner. I’d known she hadn’t told me everything yet, so why couldn’t I just ask her? Why did I have to wait for an opportune moment? A moment that never came.

In the end, I would never see her again. Nothing I did from now on would change that. She was gone.

To top it all off, I’d never gotten the chance to understand my feelings for her. It wasn’t love, at least not in the same way I’d felt for Cookie. Cookie had been the first mare to ever treat me as an equal. She was so pretty, so nice, and I just couldn’t stop that feeling deep in my gut whenever I’d been around her. With her, I felt light and she made me the happiest slave in Fillydelphia. For three months, at least, before an infection got the better of her.

Iron, on the other hoof… I’d cared about her, yes, but that light fluttering in my stomach just wasn’t there. And yet, in the past month or so, I’d started imagining my life with her. No grand fantasies or anything, I’d just grown to expect we would be together for a long time; travelling together, overcoming the wasteland together.

Was it just another form of love? A friendly one, rather than romantic? Perhaps familial in some way? Or maybe I’d just been very good at repressing those feelings?

No, that couldn't be. No-one sane would develop feelings like that for someone like her.

But now, I would never be able to know for sure. Iron was gone, and she would soon be just another memory.

I poured everything I had into my telekinesis, releasing it in an indiscriminate wave above me. I didn’t lift him like I normally would. That would have taken too long, and he’d be able to resist it. Instead, I put everything I could into shoving every last square centimetre of him away from me. He was tossed into the air like a sheet of paper.

None of that was thought through, just raw instinct taking over where Sonata had failed.

Panting heavily, I slowly rose to my legs. I was unsteady, and my vision dark and blurry, but if I didn’t get up now, it would be the end of me. My horn still crackled painfully with the remnants of the magic I’d poured into it, manifesting as red lightning that occasionally made its way into my vision. Agonising as it was, it kept me awake. After a few moments, it finally stopped.

By then, I was already back to my wits. I didn’t know where Platinum was, but my instinct as a fighter told me I couldn’t stay here. Needed cover.

I quickly spotted the nearest tree that could hopefully hide me long enough to recover. With practised ease, I put together the pattern for a short range teleport.

For a fraction of a second, I was thrown off by the lack of symmetry in the spell’s construction, but managed to overcome it. In fact, the bigger distraction was the burning pain in my horn.

Despite all that, I managed to blink over to the one tree, then run over to another, bigger one, where I finally managed to catch my breath. Perhaps ‘run’ was too strong of a word, as I barely managed to remain standing.

Immediate survival ensured, anger started boiling to the surface. This fucking piece of shit wasn’t just content with ruining my life twice, he also came after me when his stupid fucking plans didn’t work out?

By the stars, I was going to tear him limb from limb.

Only issue was that Sonata never carried a gun in New Detrot. The illusion of safety really must have gotten to that idiot’s head. On top of that, I had to keep in mind my fractured horn, so I couldn’t even risk some of my usual manoeuvres. Thankfully, I was still carrying Concerto’s PipBuck, and this meant I had access to SATS at the very least. Its EFS module, though, was still inside Cherry’s PipBuck.

For a second, when Cherry crossed my mind, I couldn’t tell if I was more angry with Sonata or with Platinum. How dare she turn him away like that! Realising just how utterly stupid that line of thought was, especially whilst still in danger, I threw it aside.

I looked out from behind the tree, scanning the sky for any movement. Now, where the fuck was this turkey? Had he just bolted the moment I tossed him into the air? No, he had no reason to. As far as I knew, he thought Sonata and I were the same pony, so it was unlikely he would just piss himself the moment I came out to play. He was stupid enough to try and attack me, despite even though he knew how dangerous I was, so he was definitely stupid enough to keep fighting.

I was drawn out of my thoughts by the roar of one of Platinum’s shotguns, its buckshot cutting into the ground about a metre from me. Immediately, I started running, carefully weaving between the half-dead trees.

He had two Paiga-12s, from what Sonata had seen; so ten rounds each. So nineteen remaining. He had that ridiculously overkill magazine for his pistol, so hoping he’d run out of ammo was not an option.

For all intents and purposes, this was one of the worst situations to possibly find myself in. Unarmoured, outgunned, afraid to use magic, and up against a flying opponent.

And yet, I was grinning as I ran. This was a feeling I’d missed. Fighting not just to make caps, not just because I was told to do so, not just to survive whatever was attacking me. No, I genuinely wanted to kill the fucker, and the excitement was enough to lift my mood. To come out on top and laugh in glee. I felt like a filly again; outmatched but thirsty for blood. This was the feeling Psycho desperately tried to imitate.

I felt a few pellets of hot lead cut into my hind quarters as another shot echoed behind me. I screamed in pain, but that quickly turned to a war cry.

I planted my hooves into the ground and sprang around, galloping in the opposite direction. It didn’t take long for me to spot him.

He’d been tailing me, a dozen metres off the ground. Likely too inexperienced with airborne combat to take shots while he turned, he was headed for me as he tried to align for another shot. When he noticed I’d turned around, he veered off to the side.

Blinded by adrenaline, I channelled another teleport, aiming for his back. My horn crackled painfully, as I failed to stabilise the spell as much as I’d meant to. I materialised right next to him and felt gravity drag me down. In the briefest of moments, I slipped into SATS. Even with time slowed to a nigh stand-still, I could still swear I felt myself falling.

I queued a single hit to his throat, less in an attempt to hurt him, and more to try and latch onto it. I would have tried to do it myself, but I was scared he would be able to counter it or bat away my leg; SATS, though, almost guaranteed I would at least have perfect form.

It succeeded, and I found myself with both front legs around my mortal enemy’s neck, hugging him for dear life. My plan was simple; grab the pistol from the holster around his throat.

I couldn’t see, so I had to find it by telekinetic touch, but that was proving to be difficult, given the state of my horn.

Of course, Platinum didn’t just let me hang off of him. In fact, he was desperately trying to shake me off, but with my size advantage, he was having a rough time of it. I could tell we were losing altitude, but not nearly enough to feel like I was falling.

Our desperate melee continued for somewhere between a second and twenty, before he finally managed to get a hoof between himself and I. I wasn’t able to hold on, as he pushed, and I found myself falling once again. Luckily for me, I had enough power in my telekinesis to grab his pistol within the blink of an eye now that I could see it.

I slipped into SATS, targeting his wings with three shots each, all of them almost guaranteed to succeed.

All six connected, and he cried out while I continued to fall for another second or two. My head was pounding, and try as I might, I didn’t manage to put together a third teleport.

The ground knocked all the wind from my lungs. The world went dark.

When I came to my senses, I couldn’t tell how long I’d been out. By the fact I was still alive, I suspected it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes.

I felt the familiar burn of fractured ribs. My right foreleg and skull were pulsating with a similar pain, and my brain felt like it had been scrambled.

I couldn’t help but be thankful that I’d gotten away with so little, but at the same time I probably hadn’t fallen more than a few metres, and the thin layer of mud was not nearly as hard as concrete.

Still, this fucking hurt! I’d show him, now that I had a gun. I looked around for a few moments, estimating my odds. He still had two almost fully loaded shotguns, and while he wasn’t as good a shot as me, he only needed one good hit to take me down. Then again, so did I.

I also still had a teleport or two in me; I just couldn’t rely on them being fast or precise.

However, it seemed my luck had turned. I spotted him lying on his side, slumped against a tree, seemingly unconscious. I approached him, and within a few moments, I’d removed his guns’ magazines and cleared the chambers, then tossed them and the rest of his belongings into the dark.

Then, I waited, savouring the moment and thinking of my options. Couldn’t tell exactly how long, but definitely enough for the adrenaline from the fight to die down and for the pain to really settle in.

Just as I was starting to consider slapping him awake, he stirred, groaning in pain. That was enough to refuel the sadistic fury inside of me. He thought he was hurting? Well, I’ll fucking show him hurt.

I’d teach him real sadism.

I levitated Platinum’s pistol right to his ear, aiming into the dirt behind him, and pulled the trigger. He screamed, desperately trying to get up, but repeatedly slipping in the mud. After a few seconds, he settled into a sitting position with his back against the tree. He clutched his right ear, and, finally, his eyes met mine.

For a second, his expression froze, as if his mind was trying to catch up to the situation.

“Morning, sunshine,” I said in a tone dripping with venom. “Had a nice nap?” I was ready to enjoy this. I was giddy at the idea of finally getting to have fun again. I even felt that weird tingle in my nether regions again.

However, as his face finally turned to pure dread, the thought of Cherry flashed through my mind. Wearing the same pained, terrified look, he was sitting on the stable’s concrete floor.

For a split second, everything stopped. My bloodlust, my desire to hurt, my thirst for vengeance, my craving to make him scream. All of that was put on hold for the briefest of moments as I was reminded of how I’d betrayed my only real friend.

It must have been a longer moment than I thought, because Platinum started reaching for the trigger bit on his battle saddle. I just gave him a cocky smile and said, “Don’t bother, I removed all the shells.”

I could tell my previous mood was slowly coming back, so I took another step forward. I wasn’t going to let a single bad memory ruin my well deserved revenge, was I?

Platinum tried to flip onto his side in an attempt to flee, but I was faster and stomped on the bullet wounds in his right wing, twisting my hoof on them. His back arched as he screamed, before falling back down to the ground.

I bit my lip to contain my satisfied groan. This was going to be good, especially since Platinum was already sobbing.

But then why was my mind still reminding me of Cherry?

I’d been in this situation before, many, many times. Managing to render an opponent harmless, and then getting to savour their last moments had always been one of my guilty pleasures. Well, the guilt had become more intense ever since the start of my growth spurt, but I wouldn’t let it stop me now.

Just the idea of getting to decide when and how someone else’s life ended sent me to the nines almost every time. Unfortunately, I rarely ever had the time to properly toy with my prey, so I often had to be content with just the fear in their eyes.

Realising I’d been standing here for a while already, I fired a shot into the air, caught the ejected round and pressed it against Platinum’s throat, grinning madly as his cry filled my ears.

Why was I thinking so much? This was my revenge, there was nothing wrong with any of this. Sure, I usually felt guilty after I let myself go and truly had fun with one of my enemies. Hell, I even felt guilty when I killed somepony quickly.

I sent another three bullets into his right wing, making sure to aim for the joints. Not only would it hurt like he deserved, but it would also instil in him the realisation he would never fly again.

But all that was irrelevant! He deserved it! He was the sole reason why my life sucked! Hurting him would only make my life better!

I slapped Platinum across the face and was ready to do it again, because this was the one thing I needed to make everything right.

But would it? It wouldn’t make me go back to who I was before losing Candy. It wouldn’t cancel out the years I spent thoughtlessly hurting others for my own benefit. It wouldn’t undo what my father had done to me. It wouldn’t nullify what my mother taught me.

And it wouldn’t fix my relationship with Cherry.

So what was the point? I’d feel good about myself for a few dozen minutes, but then I’d go back to being the shitty old Iron I’d always been.

Was there anything wrong with that, though? The wasteland had moulded me into who I was, so why would I care that I was shitty? Shitty conditions breed shitty ponies. That was just the way things were. Nothing I could do would change that. I was a raider, and would always be one. So why pretend like I was anything more? Why waste my life trying to do better to absolutely no avail, when instead I could just live it to the fullest?

This time, it was Grace who flashed through my mind. She’d genuinely changed. Of course, I hadn’t met her when she was a bandit, but I could still tell she’d come a long way. More so, I knew that she was still trying, and that she wanted me to try.

I lowered my hoof.

Cherry, too, would want me to try, wouldn’t he? Even if he were to never forgive me, he would still not want to see me spiral back down.

I felt a single tear roll down my cheek.

Besides, what would Candy think? I really didn’t know how she would react to me killing her husband, given all the circumstances. But I knew she wouldn’t be happy about it. She wouldn’t want me to live a meaningless life driven only by drugs, violence, and fun.

No! I couldn’t let my emotions get the better of me. I couldn’t allow this piece of shit to get away with what he’d done to me! What about my revenge?

But… that anger was emotional as well, was it not? If I wanted to change for real, I’d need to learn to keep it in check. I was right, I couldn’t let my emotions get the better of me.

I cleared my throat and looked Platinum straight in the eyes. He seemed as confused as he was scared. “If I let you go, what will you do?” I asked, forcing my calmest tone.

He kept staring at me, shaking and letting out the occasional sob.

“Listen to me, you fuckwit!” I screamed in his face, and he immediately looked away. I used my injured hoof to forcefully turn his head towards me. “I want to leave this all in the past. I’m done killing, and I’m done with hurting others. And the first fucking step, as much as I don’t want to do it, is to let you live.”

With my hoof under his chin, I stared at him for a few seconds, making sure he really got what I was saying. “But I swear to the starless hells below, if you ever try to fuck with me again. Ever. I will do everything I can to fucking destroy you. I’ll tear off every single one of your limbs and feed you to Hoofington raiders. Not to civilised ponies who’d quickly kill you, bleed you, and then cook your meat after properly seasoning it. No. Hoofington fucking raiders.” I punctuated each word with a shake of my head and a stomp of my hoof. “They will eat the fucking flesh off of your bones while you scream your lungs out with every little bit they tear off.”

I pressed my forehead against his and whispered oh so quietly. “Did I make myself clear?” He frantically nodded. “Good. May this be the last time we ever fucking see each other.”

Leaving, I picked up both his magazines, then headed back to where he’d chipped a bit off my horn. Hopefully I could still fix it. Part of me was screaming that I shouldn’t let him live, that he might become an issue in the future, that I could still nip the problem in the bud. It took a lot of effort to ignore those thoughts, specifically because I knew they were rational.

But if I killed him, I’d be burning any bridges with Candy. Besides, my message was more than clear to him.

Footnote:

New Quest Perk: Ain’t like that now — You’ve once and for all put your past behind you. It may take some time for the world to forget your misdeeds, but as long as you resolve trouble in a reasonable fashion, your karma will slowly reset to neutral. However, that newfound path does not make you weak; it just means you wait longer before drawing your gun, but are fast enough to make up for the delay. Additionally, you are now immune to critical hits.

Author's Note

Did I ever mention that a big inspiration for Iron’s character was Diamond Tiara (with a hint of Cozy Glow)? I’ve been waiting since the beginning of the fic to title a chapter “The Pony I Want To Be”.

Also, older Iron shares a lot of characteristics with Tempest Shadow, and Tempest has become a bit of inspiration over time, but she really wasn’t at first.

Chapter 32 — Remember Me

Remember Me

Iron was back. She’d shown up out of nowhere just a few days ago. She’d only uttered a few words ever since, and only in reply to a question. The longest sentence she’d spoken was something along the lines of “There’s been a change of plans.” when asked about why she’d joined up with us.

The weirdest thing about her was a piece of duct tape around her horn, but none of us had brought it up after it became clear that she was in no mood to talk. None of us wanted to drive her away.

I often caught her looking at me, but when I noticed it, she pretended like her gaze had only accidentally been on me; like she was looking at something behind me, or like she just happened to be turning her head. She was a poor actress, though, and it happened way too often to be a coincidence.

Meanwhile, all the courage I’d worked up before leaving had evaporated. I kept wanting to go somewhere private with her and talk about what had happened, but I couldn't. I just didn’t know what to say, and simply didn’t dare to try and get through to her. I was scared; what if she reacted the same way as in the stable?

Still, Iron was back, and no matter how apprehensive I was to say anything, part of me was just glad she was here. So very fucking glad. It pained me that we weren’t on speaking terms, but that would change sooner or later, right?

Iron, who’d been leading the group, suddenly stopped dead in her tracks and removed her PipBuck’s earpiece. She turned around and said in a matter-of-fact voice, “I’m going back to New Detrot. There’s been an attack on Star Seeds, and the culprit they captured is somepony I know.”

We fell quiet for a moment, and it was Grace who said what I didn’t dare. “We’re going with you. It’s a small delay, sure, but we want you around.”

Cotton and I nodded in near unison, and Iron rolled her eyes and cracked the first smile since she’d come back. “Thanks,” she said, and we started walking back eastwards.

Over the next week, Iron's mood lightened gradually. However, she still pretended like I didn't exist. Then again, I couldn't blame her, because I was doing the same. I was slowly working up my courage, I really was. Things were getting better, and I would have a proper talk with her before we reached New Detroit.

This was surreal. Why was Iron fighting her sister?

Everything was going so well. Then, out of nowhere, not even half an hour ago, we met a mare who looked like a younger and pinker copy of Cotton; Candy Cane.

However, instead of embracing her friends and family, Candy said she needed to speak with Iron. She then gave Cotton the filly with a brief introduction, and then she was off with Iron.

Not even ten minutes later, what little time Cotton had to bond with her granddaughter was cut short by the sound of gunshots. Grace and I had run over, while Cotton hid with Moonwing.

Even as I mentally backtracked what had led to this, I still didn’t understand. Why were they fighting? I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. I saw it happening, but it felt unreal, distant.

They were weaving between trees, only rarely stopping to properly take cover. Iron was taking occasional shots with her rifle, fully aware that running out of ammunition would almost instantly lead to her defeat. She was making very clear efforts to keep the distance between the two of them, only rarely taking an offensive shot.

Meanwhile, Candy was zipping in and out of cover with dexterity I wouldn’t expect from the average earth pony, nevermind a three legged unicorn. She was floating a shotgun next to her, but was mostly focused on closing the distance rather than firing. Likely, she didn’t want to waste any shots that might miss or ping off of Iron’s armour. To me, it was obvious she would eventually get the upper hoof, as Iron was slowly but surely running out of ammo.

Iron still had her magic, but even then she seemed hesitant to use it. When she teleported, it struck me as odd, like the practised ease was missing. The duct tape around her horn was scorched on one side, so maybe it was some kind of horn injury?

The only other spell she tried to use was one I’d never seen before. With a flash of her horn, she set off dozens of tiny illusory fireworks around Candy. Despite their size, they were more than bright and loud enough to make me uncomfortable even at a distance of thirty or so metres, so I couldn’t imagine what it was like to be in the middle of all that.

Unfortunately, Iron herself had slowed down considerably while concentrating on casting the spell. She’d probably learned it recently, and didn’t quite have it down. Because of that, Candy actually ended up making up ground, much to Iron’s dismay.

Over time, Iron managed to graze one of Candy’s legs with a bullet that just barely made it through her barding. Meanwhile, Candy had landed a few solid shots on Iron’s side, but Iron’s prototype armour protected her well. However, it was likely running out of power already.

As the two kept fighting, I slowly noticed something more. Iron wasn’t just handicapped because of her horn and due to her opponent’s speed. In fact, I never once saw her use SATS. Even outside of that, she missed a few good opportunities to land a hit on Candy. Her aim was sluggish.

Could it still be Mint-Al withdrawal? That usually didn’t last more than a month, according to Radheart, and it wouldn’t explain Iron’s reluctance to use SATS. Then again, maybe she wanted to save the spell’s energy in case Candy got too close.

No, those were excuses at best.

More likely, she just wasn’t in the right headspace to fight such a strong opponent. I didn’t know what happened to her in New Detrot that made her claw her way to the surface again. I doubted Sonata had just changed her mind for no reason at all. What I could tell, though, was that it was weighing heavily on her.

Just that would have been bad, but then came the fact that she more than likely just didn’t want to fight Candy.

As realisation dawned on me, the world became so much clearer. Iron wasn’t going to win this fight. There was no way. She was going to die.

Iron jumped out behind a meagre tree, aiming for Candy, in turn forcing the mare to dash behind cover.

Iron’s gun tried to follow the sprinting Candy, but that only seemed to give the latter the opportunity to catch up.

Candy aimed her shotgun at Iron, pulling the trigger. It was only by a twist of fate that Iron managed to use her telekinesis to push away the barrel at the very last moment.

Before Candy had the opportunity to aim again, Iron teleported a dozen metres away, just a few steps away from me.

She couldn’t hide the pain on her face as she panted hard. For a few moments, she stared at a point beyond the horizon before pressing her eyes shut and shaking her head.

Her eyes went wide as she noticed me, and she bolted in the opposite direction. Every spell took so much out of her. Eventually, she just wouldn’t manage to run away anymore, and Candy would just gun her down. She was going to die.

There was a small delay before the thought really hit home. Iron was going to die! If this fight went on, she would end up dead! She couldn’t die here!

“Fuck,” I muttered in a shaky voice, catching Grace’s attention. Or perhaps just reminding her that I was here. I couldn’t blame her, I’d forgotten she was here, too. In fact, she seemed even more on edge than I was. But that reminded me… “Can’t you do something? There’s gotta be a way to stop her.”

She slowly shook her head. “It doesn’t feel right… It’s not my fight to stop; it just wouldn’t be okay.”

I gave her a perplexed look. “What are you talking about? Are you just gonna let her die because of some bullshit code? And where the fuck did that even come from? Since when is there honour among thieves?”

She opened her beak to respond, then closed it again as she broke eye contact. She sighed. “Fine. It’s horseshit. It’s just a stupid excuse I would use with my group of bandits when I didn’t want to do something. I just…” She tried to meet my gaze, but couldn’t manage. She seemed to want to say something, but remained quiet.

“Grace, this isn’t a fucking game. If you have something to say, say it. We need to do something, and if there’s anything you know that changes the plan, I need to know it!” I was screaming at a griffin who could kill me with one swipe of her claws, but I didn’t care. She was acting like a fucking filly, and I wasn’t having any of that.

It did seem to piss her off, which almost made me regret my choice. “No, there’s nothing we can do! You wanna know why I don’t ‘want’ to get involved? I’m fucking scared for my damn life! At best, I’d just get in the way. At worst, I’d end up getting killed.” She pointed towards where the two were fighting. “Iron fucking terrifies me. The way that magic of hers turns a gun around with mechanical fucking precision gives me nightmares! I can’t fucking fight her!”

That made a surprising amount of sense; if you were used to being one of the deadliest, then someone who could beat you in a fight was all the scarier. But… “You don’t need to worry about Iron, she doesn’t even want to fight. All you need to do is stop Candy and this fight is over!”

“What the fuck do you mean? Iron’s the one on the offensive. Candy’s just trying to stay in the fight, but she just can’t get herself to hurt her little sister; she keeps hesitating whenever there’s a chance, and she’s constantly distracted by something.” Grace shook her head. “If Iron wasn’t who she is, she would already be dead.”

So Candy was holding back as well? Why the fuck were they fighting, then?

A spray of lead grazed Iron’s side, some pellets cutting deep into the black polymer suit she was wearing, leaving a large gash in her abdomen. Iron’s gun was tracking Candy as she ran clockwise around her.

I knew what I had to do, but I was so fucking scared.

My heart beat once. Twice. Thrice. I broke into a gallop. I hardly even registered Grace shouting my name. Every leap I took felt like an eternity. Everything was going so fast, and the few dozen seconds that I needed to reach the two seemed to drag on. I’m not gonna make it, resonated in my mind over and over. Candy turned towards Iron and started sprinting forward. I’m not gonna make it.

I was screaming for them to stop at the top of my lungs, but my heart was beating so fast and loud that I couldn’t even tell if I’d actually even said anything. The two certainly hadn’t reacted.

Finally, I came to a grinding halt between the two, tripping on a branch and sliding face-first half a metre in the mud. I got up and looked at one, then the other. Both were shell-shocked and quiet.

“Can’t you…” I took a few deep but rapid breaths, still unable to get enough air, my head spinning. Some of the mud landed in my mouth, but I ignored it. “Fucking see… that neither… of you… wants to… fight…” My vision was growing black, so I had to pause for a moment and try to calm down enough to keep on. “Fight the other?” I finally managed to get out.

Both of them tried to say something, but I was not having it. Sitting on my rump, I raised a hoof in each direction as I continued to catch my breath. “Silence, both of you.”

That seemed to calm them down, at least a little. They both lowered their weapons by a few degrees, but remained on edge. In the distance, I could hear Grace approaching.

My lungs still burned, but I was done waiting. I swallowed the saliva that had accumulated in my mouth. “Why the everloving fuck are mares like this? You were going to tell me that you just had to kill each other for whatever stupidass reason, weren’t you? Something that somehow, through some convoluted fucking logic, was more important than your Celestia damned family.” I looked at each of them, neither able to meet my gaze. “Well, let me tell you, whatever it is, it’s not as important as you think. So by Luna’s frozen clit, talk it the fuck out.”

Both of them lowered their firearms. I let out a breath I didn’t realise I’d been holding. “Good. Do you need me to fillysit you two, or can you actually behave?”

I sat next to Candy on a small bench in the nearest small town we’d found. The way here was blanketed by a gloomy silence. The atmosphere was just too heavy for anyone to say anything at all. Even Moonwing—stars, I still couldn’t believe I was an aunt—seemed to pick up on the mood and remained quiet on Cotton’s back.

It was only when we arrived in this town that Cherry told us to disarm and find a place to talk. Practically speaking, it was a bit pointless, since either of us could kill somepony even without any weapons. Still, it was a sign of good faith and would also make us easier to reign in if push came to shove. Candy even removed her prosthetic. Then again, I never wanted to attack Candy in the first place; all I’d done was defend myself.

Though, in hindsight, I hadn’t really tried to talk it out. The moment she told me she would have to take me out, I reached for my gun. I assumed everything was over, and decided I needed to defend myself.

I’d really need to improve in that regard if I ever wanted to leave my past behind me. I’d need to thank Cherry later. Properly thank him. Only issue was that I owed him so much that I had no idea how to truly say it. He’d saved me. Either from dying, or from doing something I would regret for the rest of my days, short as they may be.

I had the same problem with apologising. I wanted to, I really did… but how could I even begin to express just how sorry I was? I couldn’t just go up to him and say ‘‘’pologies mate, for hurting you when you were only trying to help my egotistical flank”.

Then again, I had more immediate concerns. I needed to make it up to Candy right now, or at least convince her not to want to kill me anymore. After all, if I didn’t explain myself properly, there was a chance she would decide she didn’t want to talk anymore and just come at me again. And if I died, my talk with Cherry would never happen.

And yet, I remained quiet.

If we fought again right now, she would definitely have the upper hoof, even with my arsenal of spells and her handicap. Really, the decision to put down our weapons affected me more than her, but maybe that could help me; if I was willing to make such a big show of good faith, surely she would be more likely to hear me out, right?

Her betrayal still stung, no matter how I spun it. At the same time, I couldn’t really fault her for it. I’d done horrible, horrible things. Worst of all, I committed these atrocities knowing fully how bad they were. I couldn’t even hide behind foalish ignorance. I had made the choice to sell out that village, and then my entire stable, into slavery just to save the hoofful of ponies who mattered to me. Really, it was just a matter of time before somepony came after me for that. I just hadn’t expected it to be my own sister.

That begged the question, though. Would I have the same reaction if a stranger came after me for revenge? Or would I just gun them down out of habit and convenience? Would I even have a choice? Who in their right mind would accept “Sorry that I enslaved everypony you knew, but I’m not like that anymore.” as an answer?

Ugh. I needed to stop letting my mind wander. How long had we been sitting here in silence like two carcasses? Ten minutes? Twenty?

But how would I even start this conversation? How would anyone know what to say in this situation? Our first discussion in years had been an extremely awkward:

‘Hey Iron, long time no see.’

‘Hey Candy, how are you?’

‘Good, I guess. Were you the one behind Skybridge?’

‘Yes.’

‘Then I guess I have to kill you. I’m sorry.”

Maybe Sonata would know what to say, but she’d probably just try to convince Candy that Skybridge was a necessary sacrifice. Or something.

Stars, why was everything crashing down now? I was going to leave with Cherry, travel with him for a few years until we found out what happened to his family, and then become a wasteland monstrosity. That would have worked out in the end.

Now, everything was wrong. Candy turned out to be alive, but she hated me. I could have taken my revenge, but I chose not to. I really should have just killed him, why did I think letting him live would fix anything?

I wasn’t even the protagonist of my own life anymore. How long until Sonata would decide to take over again? I knew she could do it, and now she’d gotten a taste for being the one in control. All because of my knee-jerk reaction to yet another fuck-up in my life.

Oh, and here I was avoiding the issue again. Think, Iron, think. I sighed, and after a moment, I saw Candy turn to me out of the corner of my eye.

She said, “So, about Cherry, is he your buckfriend?” Her tone was quiet and uncertain, coupled with the most awkward attempt at a smile I’d ever seen on her. Or on anypony else, for that matter.

Still, that question caught me completely off-guard, and I spun my head around much faster than I intended to.

Her expression inched towards sheepishness by the tiniest amount. “Uh, sorry if that’s none of my business. It’s just that you’re old enough now, and I got a bit curious.”

I shook my head. “No, it’s alright. I just… wasn’t expecting such a trivial question when we were trying to kill each other just a few hours ago.” I paused to swallow and attempted a smile. Probably was as awkward and forced as hers, but I didn’t care. “And no, he’s just a very good friend.” I felt myself grimace before I could help it. “Well, at least he used to be, I don’t know if he’ll still want me back.”

Some more of her smile turned genuine. That gentle, serene smile that had comforted me so many times. Just at this sight, I could feel my eyes threatening to tear up. “From what I’ve seen, he does. I obviously don’t know any of the details, but even a stranger like myself can tell he cares about you.”

I must have seemed unconvinced because she lowered her head and looked at me over her glasses. “Iron, the buck threw himself between two armed ponies trying to kill each other.”

I nodded. She was right, and I knew it. “I know… but… I almost wish he would just hate me. It would make it simpler to deal with it.” And here I was, confiding in her once again. Why hadn’t I just talked from the start? This was Candy, she understood.

“The world is easier in black and white, isn’t it?” she said with a sad smile.

I just nodded, and silence threatened to engulf us once again. I wouldn’t let that happen. “You know, I’m not over the fact that I’m an aunt now.” Technically speaking, Moonwing was just my first cousin once removed, but that was an unimportant detail.

She chuckled. “Yeah. When we left the stable, if anypony had told me that within four years I’d be a mom, I wouldn’t have believed them. I understand the shock.”

“How old is she, by the way? I’m no expert on fillies.” It still felt odd to be chatting about such trivial things, but lightening the mood couldn’t hurt.

And lighten the mood it did; Candy’s smile grew wider, bordering on a grin. I wasn’t surprised she made for such a good mom, given how amazing of an older sister she was. “She had her first birthday just last month. She’s still pretty small, but Platinum said it’s normal for a pegasus foal. She might make a great flyer one day.”

However, at the mention of Platinum, I felt my face turn into a scowl. She too seemed to have her mood shattered by the reminder. I’d realised the implications when I first saw Moonwing, but I’d absolutely refused to give it any further thought.

Candy looked at me with a worried face. Hesitant, she asked, “So, how much do you know about him? Platinum, that is.”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what other parts of my life he screwed up. I just know that he’s the one who separated you and I, and that he’s probably responsible for me getting enslaved.” I wasn’t sure whether or not I should say the next bit, but ultimately decided for it. “And he tried to kill me when I was defenceless, about two weeks ago.”

Candy’s eyes went wide, and she whipped her head forward. “What‽”

I hummed and nodded. “Sonata was in control during that time, so he almost managed to kill us.” I saw Candy’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, but didn’t elaborate. I needed to mention it, but I didn’t want to explain it quite yet. “But when I came to my senses, I easily overpowered him. He’s obviously not a fighter, so it’s surprising he’d come after somepony like me. Fuck, for all I know it might have been a very convoluted suicide attempt.”

“Please tell me you didn’t kill him,” she said quietly.

“I didn’t.” I was tempted to add “I wouldn’t be telling you about it, otherwise.” but I wasn’t planning on lying to her. I certainly didn’t want to make it seem like I would keep things from her, either. “I wanted to, I really did, but in the end I knew that I needed to change. I know it sounds stupid and clichéd, but I don’t want to be a bad pony. It’s just always so easy to make the wrong choices…” I felt a single tear roll down my cheek, despite my best efforts.

When Candy moved closer and pulled me into an embrace, it should have surprised me. But it didn’t. This was Candy, after all. She held my head against her chest while I quietly cried, the day’s emotional cocktail finally overwhelming me. No, not just the day’s. This was several weeks’ worth of repressed feelings. Maybe months. Perhaps even years. There was so much I needed to tell her.

Finally, after stars knew how long, I pulled out of the hug and looked at her. She was still giving me her signature serene smile, but reluctantly ended the moment, saying, “Do you mind if I ask some more questions?” I nodded, and she gave me a reassuring look. “I’m a bit confused about something you said about the second part of your name. Actually, I’m very confused.”

It took me a moment to realise what she was referring to, before remembering I’d purposely dropped that hook earlier. I cursed my past self for mentioning Sonata, because I now had no excuse to avoid telling Candy about her. I sighed, bracing myself. “This is gonna sound crazy, but I’m not gonna bore you with all the theories I have about how and why.” I looked at her, and she gave me a sign to go on. “There’s another mare inside my head. I go by Iron, she goes by Sonata. She and I are very different; we know the same things, but our ways of thinking are almost polar opposites.”

Candy stared in disbelief, shock, and confusion, and all I could do was give her a knowing look and nod. “Like I said, it sounds crazy.” I held my breath while I waited for her response, but she still couldn’t figure out what to say. Instead, I continued, “She’s a lot more like my mother. Confident, cunning, and manipulative, but also understanding and peaceful. In many ways, she’s a much better pony than I could ever hope to be.”

Candy seemed to slowly come around to the idea, but was still just quietly listening. That gave me an opportunity to drop another bombshell. I said, “It’s why I gave up and just let her do what she wanted with our body. She wouldn’t fuck up like I did, and she’d try to make Equestria a better place. At the time, giving up felt like the best I could do.”

A strong feeling of despair washed over me, the same as back in the stable. Normally, I would have needed to hold back tears, but I’d mostly cried myself out for now. “And yet… When I came back to my senses, I had a realisation. For some stars-forsaken reason, I still wanted to try. I wanted to become a better pony; to maybe help others instead of hurting them.” There. Now, Candy knew I was trying to do better. From here on out, she would understand. “Above all, I want to live, and I want to take this second chance that everypony else seems to get.”

She was slowly nodding, staring at the ground, clearly deep in thought, occasionally mumbling, “I see.” After a short while, she looked up at me and said, “I hate to ruin the moment, but I think this ties well into what we actually need to talk about.” My stomach fell. “Why did you destroy Skybridge?”

I swallowed. This wouldn’t be easy. “Star Seeds was using my friends as leverage to get me to do his dirty work. It’s easy to control a slave that you have in shackles, but if you want an armed servant, you need different bargaining chips.” Maybe I could exaggerate the leverage Star Seeds had on me? Say that he threatened to kill my friends if I refused that order?

No. I wasn’t going to lie to Candy. “He promised that he would set my friends free once the first phase of his plan was complete. If I refused his orders, their living conditions would drop, they’d go back to slave labour. At least he seemed to imply that; he never said it explicitly, and I never dared to disobey.” I let out a long, drawn out sigh. Candy seemed to want to say something, but didn’t want to interrupt. “I know this sounds selfish, but you haven’t seen the working conditions in Fillydelphia. You don’t know what they did to Petal. I don’t want to imagine what they would have done to Lockpick once she looked old enough.”

I looked Candy straight in the eye. “So, I sold out the lives of innocents to save my friends from the horrors of slavery. I know it was horrible, and I know it was wrong. I knew it even as I did it, but I couldn’t just abandon the only ponies who cared about me. It was my fault they got enslaved, so it was up to me to make it right. I was already a monster, after all, so what were a few more corpses on top of a mountain of death?”

This time, Candy didn’t give me more time to philosophise. “And now, you want to make up for it, through some way.”

I grimaced. “Yeah, I guess so.” I stared at the ground, trying to come up with something more to say. “But at the same time… what can I even do? I can’t simply take back all the suffering I’ve caused. There really isn’t anything that could make up for my actions…”

Candy gave me a half smile. “Somepony wise I met in my travels once told me this: There are things you cannot make up for. There is guilt you can’t ever get rid of. Only thing you can ever hope to do is try, try, and try even harder. You devote yourself to spending every second of your life trying to do better, knowing full well that it will never be enough. And you pray that, when your life is over, all of that effort will maybe come remotely close to making up for the wrongs you’ve committed.”

That scared me. It didn’t sound like something I was capable of. So was I just fucked?

Candy seemed to pick up on my mood and added, “I’m paraphrasing a bit. It’s been a long while since I talked to him, and I don’t remember his exact words.” She shrugged. “Obviously, you don’t have to go to such an extent, but the core point remains true.” She placed her hoof underneath my chin. “If you want to fix this, you will have to put in work. And yeah, you can’t take back your actions, but you can try.”

I swallowed. “But how…?” I knew the answer already, but I didn’t want to admit it.

“Do you remember, four years ago, when you told me you didn’t want to be a hero? That you didn’t want to risk your life for the sake of others? Well, it might be time to reconsider that choice.” She gently brushed my cheek and smiled at me ever so serenely. “I know you have it in you. You were such a strong filly, and I can tell you’ve grown into an even stronger mare. I’m not talking about fighting prowess or magic, I’m talking about your determination.”

“Candy, I don’t feel strong,” I said. “I always take the easiest path in life. I always just do what works best for me, and ignore the consequences for others.” I was a selfish, weak pony.

“Really? You say that, and yet you told me two things that directly contradict it.” She tilted her head in mock confusion. “Wouldn’t the easiest option have been to just flee from Star Seeds and ignore your friends’ plight? Certainly seems a lot easier than forcing yourself to do his bidding.”

“I… I guess? But I didn’t have a choice…” This felt wrong. I was weak and lazy, was I not?

“Iron, you always have a choice. And you made an extremely difficult one. It wasn’t a good one, but it certainly wasn’t easy.” She paused for a moment to give me a reassuring smile. “And I know you can make the right choice as well, even when it’s difficult. You told me you can. You spared Platinum, even though most ponies would have killed him.”

My gut was tying itself into a knot. I didn’t deserve any praise for what I did. “But I… It was just because—”

“Shush, you know it’s true. It’s just easier to pretend like you’re weak, because it gives you an excuse for the times you’ve faltered.” She pulled me into another hug, then whispered into my ear, “But I know you’re strong enough to take the difficult path.”

“I guess…” I muttered lamely. “But I don’t know if I can do it. Cherry said he’d help me steer me into the right direction, but I’m scared of fucking up yet again, for the upteenth time.”

Pulling out of the embrace, Candy placed her left hoof on my shoulder. “I’ll be on your side, too. And I know you can do better. I know you’ll mess up, and I know things will never be perfect, but I don’t doubt that you have it in you.”

She was right. Fixing things would be hard, but using that as an excuse to not even try was stupid. But there was something else… “But what is it that you want me to do, concretely? You said I needed to become a hero, but all that brings to mind is somepony attempting things that are completely beyond their capability. Like the occasional self-proclaimed saviour of the wasteland who vow to stop slavery, but end up dead within a month.”

She shook her head. “No, Iron, there are so many other things you can do to help, especially with your skills as a fighter. You don’t have to throw yourself at any impossible or deadly challenge. You just have to do whatever’s in your power.”

“Again, do you have an example?” I asked in a slightly annoyed tone.

“There’s something very specific that comes to mind, right in New Detrot.”

“Oh?” I asked. “I happen to be headed there because my friend got captured.” Why did Lockpick just have to try and kill Star Seeds of all ponies? Well, I knew the answer to that, but that wouldn’t stop me from mentally complaining about it.

“It’s to kill the head of the whole operation. Lock tried, but I hear she failed.” Oh, fuck. “They trust you, and you can easily get near him. Without him, I think New Detrot might become a thriving town, free of slavery.”

That… that was feasible, and even something I’d considered when planning Lockpick’s rescue. The terminal controlling the cell doors had an incredibly long, completely random password that would take ages to crack. Star Seeds had made that decision when he found out about the vulnerability. Not even he remembered the password. Instead, he had a keycard that gave full access to the terminal.

I held back a yawn. Why were my eyelids getting so heavy all of a sudden? I suppose I hadn’t slept all that well. “I’ll do it,” I said, slurring my words together.

My vision started to grow darker, the film between myself and the world growing thicker. Candy seemed worried, but I was too tired to care.

Before my world turned to black, I heard Sonata say, “I’m sorry, but I cannot let that happen.”

In front of me stood Candy, the mare Iron had once admired the most and still highly respected. I had to admit, my own feelings on the matter weren’t too different. After all, I'd inherited the vast majority of Iron’s memories, including everything concerning Candy.

“What did you say?” she asked. She seemed genuinely confused for a moment, but I could tell she was slowly putting the pieces together.

She was one hell of a mare. Always willing to do what’s right. And yet, here she was, trying to convince us to do the wrong thing. “I simply cannot allow that to happen.” I clearly enunciated every word, not because I was afraid she might misunderstand, but to assert my determination. “Star Seeds’ methods may be morally questionable, but his end goal is noble. I cannot allow for him to be assassinated now that he’s already had to sacrifice this much for the greater good.”

My past self would be disgusted by the claims I was making, but I knew better now. Star Seeds really did want what was best for everypony, even though he needed to crack a few eggs first.

“What greater good?” Candy was becoming more and more upset, but I could tell she wasn’t steeling herself to take me down. She was just trying to talk.

I gave her my best reassuring smile. “To rebuild an infrastructure that could feed thousands, then tens of thousands. To stop starvation in the wasteland. To—”

“I know his plans. My question was rhetorical,” she cut me off with an annoyed look on her face.

“I was going to get to that, if you would just let me finish.” Rather, it would become self-explanatory. Unfortunately, I would have to take a different approach to convincing her. “Candy, you know how much I respect you, but that’s precisely why I don’t understand why we find ourselves butting heads. Do you simply not understand what’s on the line here?”

“Hundreds of innocents dying and thousands being enslaved for ‘the greater good’? Yeah, I think I’m very aware of what’s been happening here.” She leaned further in. “I was going to tell Iron, but I didn’t get around to it before you cut us off. The bandits that were attacking your slavers’ caravans? That was my doing.”

That explained many things. For a moment, I was disappointed to hear such a thing, but I also understood her point of view, especially if she didn’t really understand Star Seeds’ plans.

Still, if she was going to play on provoking me, I would join in on her game. “Ponies who oppose improvement are hardly innocent, you know.”

She huffed in indignation. “You’re telling me that the good mares of Skybridge, who lived off trade and farming, committed some kind of cardinal sin, just because they didn’t want to get along with Red Eye’s plans? They weren’t okay with slavery. That was their crime? Do you even hear yourself, Iron?” She furrowed her brow and corrected herself, “Sonata, I mean.”

“Why are you getting so upset? I’m just as passionate about this as you, you know? Or do you believe I enjoy the thought of all these ponies out there in the wasteland, starving?” I pointed an accusing hoof at her. “Unlike you, Star Seeds and I think about ponies everywhere, not just where we can see. We think about future generations, and how it is our duty to make sure they don’t grow up in the same conditions as we did.”

She was getting ready to reply, but I cut her off, “The crime Skybridge committed was one of selfishness. They believed that their own morals were more important than the future of ponykind. They believed themselves more important than ponies not yet alive. How is that not detestable?” I stomped my hoof on the stone brick road. “It’s one thing to be reluctant about sacrificing yourself for a stranger. But actively hampering improvement just because you don’t want it? That is actively maintaining the wasteland’s status quo.”

I took a moment to catch my breath. “Our goal is to reach a point where slavery is no longer needed. Once we’ve rebuilt, future generations will be free of our burdens. They won’t have to commit atrocities just to survive.”

I paused for a while longer, letting my words properly sink in. After half a minute, as Candy seemed to consider what to answer, I continued, “However, if we selfishly refuse to make that sacrifice, hundreds of thousands, probably even millions, will die. Future generations full of ponies who never got to be born, or died young. Or who had to murder in order to survive. You cannot wash your hooves of that.” I repeatedly pointed my hoof at her chest, punctuating each of my words.

I continued, “Say, you could easily save somepony from starving, at the cost of you going hungry for a few days. If you were to selfishly refuse, you would be responsible for their death.”

To my surprise, she seemed to already have a thought-out answer. “Yes, because it would be my bread to give.” She moved her right leg’s stump to point at herself. While she couldn’t actually do so, the intent was obvious. “But do you know the difference between that and what you and that Star Seeds buck are doing? You’re taking somepony’s bread and giving it to someone else. You’re deciding that future lives are more valuable than present ones. Why do you think you’re important enough to make such a choice?”

“Of course they are!” I shouted, annoyed by her nonsense. “Not because of some arbitrary criterion like you seem to imply, but for a very simple reason: there are more of them. Every life we sacrifice today will save dozens, if not hundreds in the future.”

She just stared at me. The tension was thick enough to stop a bullet mid-air. The fact that she couldn’t quickly find an answer was a good thing: she was likely on her last legs.

Finally, she sighed and said, “Tell me, Sonata. Why do you want to save ponies? Is it some kind of ego thing, where your only aim is to save lives, and the more you save, the better you feel? Is it like a game to you, where all that matters is your own made up metric?”

She was grasping at straws; I’d already won this debate. “What a silly thing to suggest. No, I do not feel good about myself. I have spent many a sleepless night mulling over my decisions, but I am not conceited enough to believe that my feelings of guilt matter in the slightest. I am merely playing my part in the endeavour of saving the wasteland, and in building a new Equestria.” Okay, maybe I was going a little overboard with my prose there.

Unconvinced, she raised her eyebrows. “Maybe your feelings of guilt are there to show you that what you’re doing is wrong?” she suggested with a frown.

I just rolled my eyes. “They are but a natural response to causing harm to others. For evolutionary reasons, ponies do not enjoy hurting other ponies.” I’d had almost this exact discussion with Star Seeds during one of our many long talks, so I knew exactly what to say. “Furthermore, as a species, we strongly prioritise the short term over the long term. However, we are also capable of critical thought and self-reflection, unlike most other living creatures.”

I placed my hoof on my chest while I continued, “And, on top of all that… when I think of a future where hundreds or thousands have died because of my inaction, I feel just as guilty, if not more. Regardless of my actions, I am responsible for one atrocity or another. Ignoring the future for the sake of the present would be naught but sticking my head into the sand and pretending the problem does not exist. We have to look forward, Candy. While the future does not appear bright, it is our job to shine a light on it. Our duty.”

Unfortunately, even though I’d already won, Candy wasn’t accepting defeat. “You don’t even stop to wonder whether or not this new Equestria, built on slavery and murder, is a solid end goal. Do you really think you can just detach the outcome from what you’ve done to get there?”

“So what if we can’t?” I objected. Again, a point that I myself had made, long before realising the truth. “Do you truly believe that the ponies, many years from now, who’ll get to live in a peaceful Equestria, would throw it all away just because we used means they would disagree with?”

Candy shook her head. “Do you think those ponies would just happily forget what their happiness is built upon? Yes, they wouldn’t throw it away, but the weight of the guilt would undoubtedly create tensions. You cannot recreate the Celestia-era utopia through slavery.” The way she stared at me, I could tell she wasn’t fully convinced of her own argument. But there was a certain intensity to her glare, making me realise just how difficult it would be to persuade her.

I raised my left eyebrow and gave her an unconvinced shake of my head. “Those are but wild speculations, and you know it. Besides, even if they are to commit the same mistakes again, it is far better than not letting them live at all.”

That, however, seemed to be her tipping point. “You’re still pretending like you can just pick and choose who gets to live, like you’re some kind of grand saviour! You’re acting like the inherent right everypony has to life itself is something for you to decide.”

“Of course it isn’t! It’s up to Lord Red Eye, he’s the one with the plan,” I countered quicker than I meant to and without thinking it through. Damn it, she was getting to me. This wasn’t even that good of a rebuttal; it came off as fanatical rather than rational.

“Weren’t you just talking about not wanting to stick your head in the sand? By blindly following orders and pretending somepony else knows better, aren’t you doing just that‽” Now that she could tell she’d regained some ground, some of her anger turned to confidence.

I wanted to scream at her to shut her ignorant mouth, but I couldn’t just let myself go. My reaction was clearly proof that there was something to what she was saying, but what was it? And how would I go about disproving it? “Hmm. I suppose you might not be completely wrong,” I grumbled. I took a moment to calm down, racking my brain for a counterpoint.

Finally, after maybe a minute of thought, I came to the realisation that she was actually correct. I was sticking my head in the sand. I didn’t have the right to decide who lived and who died; sheer numbers didn’t make my actions just. “You have a point. For the sake of argument, let’s assume there is such a thing as a universal right to life. In that case, I obviously do not have the authority to waive it in the place somepony else.” And yet… the greater wrong was letting ponies die, and that guilt was not something I wanted to live with.

Her mouth fell open in shock, while cautious optimism slowly started to light up in her eyes. Before she was able to reply, however, I continued, “However, I am willing to take this authority by force. Even if that makes me a horrible pony in the eyes of many, I am willing to endure it for their sake.”

Her face contorted in a scowl, and she stomped on the ground with her one front hoof. “There’s that ego talk again. What do you think yourself as, some kind of saviour to be worshipped? Or maybe a martyr, tragically misunderstood?”

“Don’t you dare make light of my resolve! I don’t care if everything I do makes me evil; I’ll march into hell with a grin on my face, and I’ll kiss the mare who doomed us all, Luna herself. For even if I’m not any better than her, I’ll be proud of my achievement.” I was angry, yes, but inside me burned a determination far brighter than fury.

“You speak of resolve, and yet you’ve never done anything yourself. It all came down to Iron.” On her face I saw something I would have never expected; a disgusted sneer. It hurt more than I wanted to admit, but that hardly mattered right now.

All that mattered was the future.

“You think that means anything? Just because I’m not a skilled assassin doesn’t mean I don’t have the resolve necessary to pull through!” I shouted back, tears threatening to well in my eyes. Why did it hurt so much?

“Well, fucking prove it.” She took a step forward and lifted her neck. “Kill me here and now. Thrust your horn into my jugular and get rid of the evil bandit who’s been opposing slavery.” She tapped the side of her throat. “Come on, show me you have the guts to kill me and just thrust forward. One quick shove, and all your troubles melt away. Sure, you’ll leave Moonwing without a mother, but what’s one more sacrifice on a mountain of corpses?”

My brain couldn’t process the situation fast enough. What the hell was going on? Would it really be as easy as that?

Candy continued to taunt me, unwilling to give me a moment to think. “Oh wait, are you maybe scared of getting blood in your mane? Lemme help with that.” She lifted one of her back legs and took off the metallic shoe. From inside, she produced a tiny knife. “I keep this on me in case I need to cut something. It’s dull and useless in a fight, but it’s more than good enough to cut rope.” She tossed it in front of me. “It’s also more than good enough to prove your resolve.”

While I picked it up with my telekinesis, wincing at the pain in the side of my horn, she continued, “If you still need motivation, know that I’ll come after Star Seeds myself if Iron can’t take him out. I’ll build a team, and we’ll burn New Detrot to the ground. And you know damn well Iron won’t fight me anymore, so you can forget about her saving your flank.”

I took a step forward and pressed the tip of the blade against her throat, giving her my smuggest grin. “Is that really all I have to do to get you off my case? Do you really think I would back off just because of your stupid little guilt trip?” Why did it hurt so fucking much?

She just sneered. “I know you won’t do it. You’re just a scared, indoctrinated filly, and Iron is more of a mare than you could ever hope to be.”

“Oh yeah?” I asked as I exerted more force on the knife.

However, even as the dull tip pushed stronger and stronger into her throat’s hide, Candy bore an expression that chilled my blood. There was not a hint of fear on her face. It was as if her entire being screamed “You can’t.”

But I could! If I let her live, she would do everything to undo my work. If I couldn't even kill her, what good was my conviction? Just one more shove, just a bit more strength!

…

I fucking couldn’t. I tossed the blade aside and listened as it clanged off the stone. Was that really all it took? Was I really that fucking pathetic?

Tears streaming down my face—how long had I been crying?—I just lay down, covered my face with my legs, and closed my eyes.

It would be up to Iron to change the wasteland. With Candy, maybe she could. She would need to know everything I knew. Then, she probably wouldn’t have it in her to kill Star Seeds.

Author's Note

Obvious Project Horizons reference is obvious.
Also i
i completely fucked up and published chapter 33 earlier today, instead of 32. Hopefully no one actually read it.
New rule: don't try to publish a chapter before leaving for work.

Chapter 33 — To Mend a Broken Heart

To Mend A Broken Heart

Lying on the couch in Star Seeds’ office, I was slowly finishing my smoke while reading a book. Or rather, attempting to, because my mind kept wandering places. They were all questions I’d already asked, answers I already knew, but they still weighed heavily on me.

I glanced over to Star, who was sitting in his armchair, absorbed with his own book. A political drama from fifty years before Luna’s return; he spoke highly of the book, even though he wasn’t done with it yet. I’d definitely need to pick it up next. If the ever-busy Star spent his valuable free time with it, it was definitely worth the read.

He turned his gaze away from the page as he met mine. “Is something the matter?” he asked in a curious tone with a reassuring smile on his face.

I grimaced slightly. “Sorry, I’m just thinking about the stable, and I guess there’s still doubt in my head.”

Star bookmarked the page, levitating off his reading glasses. He sat forward, leaning towards me, and said, “Tell me.”

“I just…” I started, but paused to gather my words. I was half tempted to bottle it up. It was a silly issue, after all. However, the purpose of our evenings together wasn’t to each read something in our own corner. It was specifically to talk about things like that. “I’m still not convinced that our plans for the stable are really the way forward. I know I’m the one who brought up the idea, but this close to it, I can’t help but wonder if it’s really worth it.”

I took a deep breath, turning my gaze to the window out of habit, only to be reminded that it was dark outside. “It’s just… the transitional period is going to be rough on every stable dweller. There will be casualties in some form or another, and there will be a lot of suffering. It was easy to overlook it a month ago, but I’ve just been thinking about the ramifications lately.”

Star nodded. “In other words, you are unsure whether or not what you’re doing is right, correct?”

“Yeah. I’ve been trying to figure out another option, but nothing is coming up. I know it’s pointless to think about, since the operation starts tomorrow. Even if I did find something that could make it all work out, it’s too late to call off. And yet…” I sighed and looked at the ground.

He finished for me, “And yet you can’t help but try. That is what I admire about you, Sonata. When presented with a dichotomy, you always find a way to create either a satisfying compromise, or a completely different option.” He was still smiling, the expression on his face saying more than any amount of words possibly could. It was warm, proud, and encouraging. “Take my word on this: If even you can’t find a better solution, then there most likely isn’t one.”

Star shifted in his seat and stretched, joints popping all across his back. “Besides,” he continued, “even if there is a way for New Detrot to survive without taking over the stable, this reactor will be immensely more useful out here.”

“Hmm…” I furrowed my eyebrows. “Are you saying they don’t deserve it, just because they are not fully utilising it?”

Star gently shook his head. “That is not what I’m saying, no. However, the stable was designed to keep out necromantic fallout, and…” He nodded towards me, urging me to finish his sentence.

“And there isn’t much of that around…” I muttered, gears turning in my head, before everything fell into place. “Of course! The stables were meant to keep ponies safe after the megaspells, but the outside is survivable now. They don’t need the stable anymore!”

Star had an amused look on his face while he gestured for me to quiet down.

My cheeks growing warm from the embarrassment, I said, “Sorry, I got a bit excited.” Still, I couldn’t help but smile.

Star nodded, implicitly praising me with his proud smile. He said, “They are using a lot of power purifying and recycling waste, oxygen, and water. The ventilation system is also quite massive. On top of that, the growth talismans were never updated to the newer technology that existed right before the spells fell; not to mention the prototype I’ve finished. They’re easily a third as power efficient as the ones we use.”

I could see where he was going with this, so I kept quiet and listened. “However, we will also need to lodge all these ponies. And unlike the stable’s, our heating costs are not negligible.”

“Did you run the maths?” I knew he had.

Star nodded. “According to my estimates, in terms of power alone and with just the spark reactor, New Detrot could support between three and six times more inhabitants than Stable 4.”

I felt my eyes go wide. “Wow, I was expecting a lot less. I knew we’d likely break even, but I didn’t imagine that.” I breathed a sigh of relief. “That changes things. I was worried that, even after the transitional period, things would be harsh for a time. But now… as long as we get the reactor running, everything will be fine.”

But my mind wasn’t done, and the implications caught up to me. Righteous indignation was quickly building.

Star lifted an eyebrow and said, “Sonata? Are you alright?”

I frowned and shook my head. “I’m just getting pissed off. These ponies are wasting so much power, just to live in comfort while ponies in the wasteland starve to death and kill each other over food.”

With a sad smile, he nodded. “That much is true… However, please do not think of them as bad ponies. They simply do not know any better. They’ve lived their whole life in there and aren’t aware of the suffering outside. Many probably believe that the outside is just a void, or completely unsurvivable.”

He had a point. “I assume the ponies from your stable were the same, Star?”

“Yes. Up until the moment they sent me out to find a new primary water talisman.” He chuckled. “Or rather, until I failed to return with one.”

That caught me by surprise. “Really? I would have thought it wouldn’t be difficult for you. Then again, you were thirty years younger, so I guess that makes sense.”

He shook his head with a mischievous grin. “I never said I didn’t find it. It was a small stable, and I found another source of clean water nearby. Back then I didn’t really think of rebuilding Equestria’s agriculture. I just wanted those fools to stop acting like the stable was everything.” He chuckled, “Ah, youthful foolishness.”

I laughed along. “That makes more sense, though it’s hard to imagine you as anything other than wise.”

We shared another giggle, and I said, “One day you need to tell me more about your adventures outside the stable, and how you came to meet Lord Red-Eye.”

“Yes, I agree. Not tonight, though. There is a lot to say, and it is getting late. I assume you feel better now? Anything else you need to talk about before tomorrow?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’m good, at least for now. Thanks, dad.” My brain needed a few milliseconds to process what I’d just said. Fuck! As well as I could, I corrected my course, “I mean, Star! I’m sorry, this is so unprofessional on my end. I didn’t mean anything by it, it was just a slip of the tongue.” He was nothing like my real father, so where did that come from? And I didn’t think of him like that, so what the hell, brain?

He just chuckled mildly. “It’s alright, Sonata, no need to fret. And don’t worry about being professional. You are not just my assistant, but also my friend. That said, it happens to everyone.”

Yeah, this moment would haunt me for months. I’d remember it and wince. At least he didn’t take it poorly.

“Anyway,” he said. “I’m glad to hear you’re doing better. You should get some sleep now, though. The next few days will be long for you. Even after the initial operation, you will still have a few things to do before you can leave.”

That reminder stung. I knew he’d seen my reaction, so there was no use hiding it or beating around the bush. “Well, I don’t want to leave…” I sighed. “There’s so much more I could do here… The transfer of power is going to be messy, and I know I have what it takes to do a lot of the work needed. Besides, my only real friend is here.”

“I’d love for you to stay longer, but I have to fulfil my side of the deal with Iron.” He gave me a sad little smile. “It would be up to you to convince her to remain here.”

“But all she wants is to travel with Cherry. She’s so in love, and so completely oblivious to it that it makes me sick.” I sighed, flattening my ears against my skull. “I don’t want to give up on my dreams just so that she can chase hers.”

Star seemed more amused by this than anything. “Well, then she’s bound to come back eventually.” My ears perked up along with the rest of my body. Star read the question off my face and said, “Either the two don’t work out, and she’ll need a new dream to chase. Or they do, and they’ll likely want a quiet place to settle down. You told me that Iron doesn’t really care about adventuring, so in either case, you could easily convince her to come back to New Detrot.”

I nodded while he continued, “I still need to thank her for everything she’s done. And apologise for how I treated her at first. After that, given enough time, she’ll come back. Maybe not as my right hoof, but possibly as a regular resident, while you would be my assistant. Or maybe I could make you the mayor, so that I could focus on my research.”

“I can’t believe I used to hate you, Star. Well, I can’t believe you were such a piece of shit when we first talked. You always know what to say, and for that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.” I felt my smile turn sheepish. “Sorry, that was a bit out of nowhere.” I shook my head. “Anyway, I’m not really all that drowsy yet, so I’ll keep reading for a while.”

“No problem,” he replied.

I managed to read maybe half a chapter before sleepiness suddenly and brutally overtook me.

My eyelids grew heavy, and I closed them for just a short moment. Before I fell asleep, I felt a blanket being draped over me.

Iron, this was the last of my conversations with Star. I’ve shown all the others to you, because you deserved to know what we said behind your back. Please keep them in mind for whatever you do next.

However, there is one more thing you need to know about, and it’s much more important than anything Star and I discussed.

I woke up in a daze. I didn’t know where I was, and even figuring out who I was took a few seconds longer than usual. The one thing I immediately knew, though, was that I was being called. Somewhere in that direction, somepony needed my help. I didn’t know who or why, but the urge to help overpowered my sense of reason. Before long, I’d put on Iron’s barding and was levitating her automatic rifle into its holster on my side.

I didn’t want to risk waking Star Seeds up, so I tried to remember how to teleport. I knew the process, given I had full access to Iron’s memories, but I ultimately lacked any practice. While she could construct its pattern within a second, I found myself fumbling around blindly for nearly half a minute before I finally got it right.

Walking through the streets of Fetlock—the suburbs surrounding Manehattan—I started thinking about what had brought me here. It was really difficult to make sense of Iron's memories. It was probably the first time I'd come to since we'd gotten enslaved.

The fact that I was apparently now a slave was something I wasn’t really able to process. I knew it, I understood it, but for some reason it didn’t hit home. It was like a historical fact about a remote, old Equestrian town. It didn’t feel like it affected me at all.

It had been a few months since I’d last been awake, so it made sense that I would need a while to wrap my head around all this new information. On top of that, I wasn’t quite in my normal state of mind. This urge was so strong that it overshadowed any other emotions I could have felt at that moment.

Of course, I also knew the reason I hadn’t been able to come out. Iron saw me as the weaker sister; the one that needed to be protected from everything. I couldn’t blame her; after all, I really was the naïve and innocent one between the two of us. Still, part of me knew I could have helped her out, given the opportunity. Furthermore, she hadn’t really made the conscious decision to shut me out; I doubted she could even do that if she tried.

Admittedly, I didn’t really know what I could have done concretely. Our time in Fillydelphia was a blur to me, the exact memories slowly leaking through a thick filter. I remembered carrying heavy materials, and I remembered seeing my friends in pain. But I didn’t remember where I slept, and many other details surrounding my stay were missing. Maybe in time they’d come back.

But wait, I was outside of Fillydelphia now, that means I’d gotten out… but how? After a few seconds of thinking, the memories started seeping through. There was Star Seeds, the infuriating buck who’d gotten Iron out of Fillydelphia. He’d made her raid an old laboratory, and we were now on our way back.

I continued to walk towards my destination, whatever it may have been, as I kept ruminating over the events of the past few months. However, as I got closer and closer to the entrance to the Manehattan metro, all unnecessary worries melted away, little by little. A part of me, distant and quiet, was screaming at me not to go in, that it was a death trap for a filly like me.

I didn’t care. The feeling of belonging was growing stronger and stronger with every step I took inside the pitch black corridor.

I knew it was pitch black, and yet I could see very well. With every step that I took, I was getting closer and closer to one of my many beloved sisters. Eventually, I spotted the issue. A murder of ghouls had gathered around an overturned train carriage. The ones closest to it were trying to break inside, but to no avail.

Immediately, I knew what I had to do. I levitated out Iron’s rifle, switched the selector to automatic, and dumped the contents of my magazine into the crowd of ghouls. Maybe a dozen of them fell to the ground. Part of me knew it was stupid and risky, but my sister wanted me to distract them, so I did.

Moments later, the ghouls started sprinting in my direction, and I began channelling a teleportation to the entrance of the metro. Now that I’d done it once, along with the extraordinary calm that was reigning over my mind right now, it came much easier to me.

I appeared near the exit with a pop, then heard the roar of gunfire as I started refilling the empty magazine with hollow point rounds. I could have switched to the other one, but Sister wanted me to finish off the rest of the ghouls after she was done thinning their lines further.

Ghouls didn’t wear armour, but could easily survive a shot or two. Hollow point bullets would be a lot more effective against them.

With the thirtieth round loaded, I started heading back in, walking much faster than before. Soon enough, I found the overturned train car again, surrounded by a whole lot less ghouls this time. I continued forward until one of them noticed me and started running at me at a wild speed.

I lifted my rifle and put a single shot into its chest, stopping it dead in its tracks. All the other ghouls turned around as well. Normally, I would have been overwhelmed by so many moving targets. Even SATS wouldn’t help me get rid of all of them. And yet, I was still calm. SATS did its job perfectly, killing seven ghouls with neat shots to the head.

For the rest, I just knew where to move my rifle, guided by Sister. This close and with the crowd cleared, I could see her inside the train car. A tall, green alicorn was watching me dispatch of the ghouls from behind one of the windows. One of her wings was bloodied and drooped lamely on her side.

Soon enough, she left the overturned cart and approached me. Hello, little one, she said inside my head. Part of me wanted to complain at being called “little”, but she was one of the few ponies significantly taller than me.

I greeted her back, and she continued, We must admit, you are not who We were expecting. Furthermore, you look like the demon filly of Dodge, but are not her. She shook her head. No, We know this is her body, but you…

I couldn’t quite understand why she was speaking in the royal We, but for some reason, it didn’t feel wrong.

You are one of Us. Or perhaps your mind is simply more receptive to the effects of Impelled Metamorphosis Potion… It is quite hard to tell without a closer look.

As we started walking towards the exit, I gave her the mental equivalent of a confused blink. She didn’t bother to explain, instead folding her wing however she could, wincing. Some of the pain came through the telepathic link, but it was more of a mild discomfort than true agony.

I briefly started to wonder what the hell was going on, but she interrupted that train of thought with her own. It’s been a while since you and We last saw each other, no? Why don’t you come home with Us? Everything will go well, and all your worries will disappear. As I nodded, part of my mind screamed, but I didn’t understand it. It was too distant, too fuzzy.

We quickly headed out of the metro, then back into Fetlock, looking for a pool of radiation for her to heal. Everything blurred together as I learned more about Unity—my sisters. At first I didn’t know where home was, or why it was home. I just knew it was where I belonged. Thanks to Sister, I found out about it. ‘Home’ wasn’t just a location. Yes, Marypony was where we were operating from, but it wasn’t home. ‘Home’ was us. Every single pony who’d been taken into Unity. This was where we all belonged eventually. Iron, Star Seeds, Banter, Lockpick, Petal, me. Anypony I’d ever met.

Eventually, less than an hour after I’d woken up, two more of my sisters joined us. Apparently, the green one was on a routine scouting mission when she stumbled into a room filled to the brim with ghouls. Her distress was strong enough to resonate with me, even though I was not truly part of Unity yet. Incidentally, I’d been close enough to respond to her call before the other two from her wing—a blue one and a purple one.

So, dear Sister, they said in unison, it is time for you to come home with Us. We’ve been waiting for you ever since We let the demon filly leave Marypony.

That same part of my mind screamed, but this time much louder. I listened to it, and I realised it was right.

“I’m sorry, dear Sisters,” I replied, breaking out of the comfortable haze. “I would love to come home, but there are things I need to do first. There are regrets that I don’t want to bring home.” I sighed, already feeling all too lonely. “If I were to leave now, my friends would die in slavery. I only need a bit more time, then I will come home, I promise.”

The three of them stared blankly at me for a few moments, before finally answering, As much as it pains Us to hear it, We also believe it might be for the better. After all, the reason We let the other one go, the one you think of as ‘Iron’, was so that she could learn and bring that knowledge home. She is a fighter and a strong mage, and her skill is favourable for Our survival. This time, there were more voices chiming in. It still wasn’t the full chorus I knew and missed, but it would make this goodbye all the more bittersweet.

And yet, with those extra few voices, I could tell there was something more to it. It seemed almost as if… some of the whispers were apprehensive of something. Was there some kind of risk involved? Would us joining maybe—

My train of thought was brutally derailed by a gentle comfort. You, on the other hoof, seem much more willing to cooperate. You understand Us, so perhaps a little deal is in order. We know of Star Seeds’ plans, and we are aware they will take a while to come to… fruition. My groan was echoed by a few mental ones, but the main dozen of voices continued to speak, However, once his town is properly set up, it would be easy for you to help Us. I was trying to continue my earlier reasoning, but found it difficult to focus. In fact, I couldn’t even recall what I’d been pondering…

As you know, We want to save Equestria and her children, but for that We need strong ponies. We need unicorns that would join Us in Unity. There aren’t many of Us, and our supply of Impelled Metamorphosis Potion is too low to welcome everypony we come across. First, we need strong unicorns whose transformation will be fast, and who will bring strength to Unity. Eventually, I let go of any mental clarity I could have had, and just listened as my sisters talked to me.

Hunting those unicorns ourselves is risky. If We lose even one of Us during the process, then the losses outweigh the gains. That is why we never went after Iron again, as you probably know. Should we really need somepony, We can form a larger group to take them on and make sure none of Us gets lethally wounded. You have seen how many of Us there are, so don’t think you can ever escape Us.

The comfortable haze was shattered in an instant; it felt like being dropped from a gentle embrace onto a cold, hard floor. Out loud, the green alicorn said, “Therefore, your task will be to find suitable unicorns and subdue them not through force, but through trickery. As long as you work on that, We will allow you to operate independently, and we will extend the time limit We gave Iron. As long as you remain useful to Us, you are allowed to continue solitary work. Of course, should you change your mind, Our home is always open to you, Sister.”

Even without the mental link, I didn’t want to say no to that. I could help out both my sisters and my friends. I’d also be helping the unicorns I sent to Unity; even if they didn’t want it at first, once they were one of Us, they would quickly change their minds.

The only pony I wouldn’t want to force to join Unity was Iron. Perhaps it was due to my sisters’ wishes to have her learn. Perhaps I shared their apprehension. Perhaps I just didn’t want to betray her like this. Whatever it was, she would need to remain ignorant about this; if she knew, it would ruin everything. She would try to escape or fight back, both of which would merely result in her capture. By sticking to my deal with Unity, I could properly protect her.

Over the course of the next hour, my sisters taught me some spells. It took a while for me to get the hang of them, but I was able to learn basic telepathy and moderate memory magic. Telepathy would be helpful in general, while memory magic would allow me to keep Iron in the dark about Unity’s plans.

But now, I’m unlocking all the memories I’ve blocked. You can make the choice yourself, Iron. I clearly don’t have the strength it takes to protect you or even myself. May you find your own way, with Candy to guide you.

I heard boards creak upstairs. A few seconds later, Cherry stood up and started heading towards the entrance door. I turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you say you wanted to talk to her when she’s awake? As in, first things first?”

He turned towards me, wincing. “I… I think you should talk to her first. You understand her better and all that.”

Before I could get another word in, he was already out the door. Damn it, he was willing to throw himself between hot iron but was this much of a coward when it came to talking? Well, more specifically, talking to Iron, if Grace was to be believed.

I would have gone after him, were it not for Moonwing fast asleep on my chest. I didn’t want to wake her; after all, that was why I was lying in this slightly uncomfortable pose on this less than cosy couch.

About five minutes later, Iron walked down the creaky staircase. At this distance and without my glasses, I couldn’t quite tell which of the two she was. Her eyes immediately landed on me, and I smiled. I looked over to the other couch, and she seemed to take the hint, as she headed towards it. Once she sat down, she said, “Hey.”

She sounded so drowsy that I couldn’t help but chuckle as I greeted her back, “Good morning, sleepyhead.”

“It’s not morning,” she replied with an even tone which coaxed a louder giggle out of me. This in turn made her blush, her lips curling up into a sheepish smile. Somehow, my laugh didn’t wake Moonwing.

After a comfortable little silence, I asked, “Are you okay? I don’t know how this whole twin personality thing works, but do you remember what happened? Your—Sonata’s—horn glowed, and you were out cold since.”

“Head hurts like a motherfucker,” Iron replied. “She made me remember everything she hid from me, all in one go.” She let out a yawn, then rubbed her eyes. “Some of the things I saw are worrying, but none are of immediate concern.”

“How does that work? The whole ‘hiding memories’ thing, that is,” I asked. Moonwing stirred, only to nestle herself under the stump of my right leg.

Iron swayed her head from side to side, grimacing slightly. “It’s complicated.” She hesitated for a moment, then said, “Well, I mostly don’t really know. For me it seems to be anything I wanted to protect her from; for a time it was most of what I’d done, and everything our father did to us. Now it’s just that and my time in Fillydelphia.”

“Do you want to tell me about that?” Part of me was really curious, but mostly I just wanted to make sure she knew she could confide in me.

Iron shook her head. “Not now. I’d rather talk about what I saw in Sonata’s memories, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course, I would have asked about it anyway,” I replied.

So she did. She explained how she had met and gotten away from a herd of alicorns like the one who’d attacked me. Apparently, she could heal some wounds from radiation exposure now. At some point, Sonata met a wing of those alicorns, and made a deal with them to have them leave Iron alone. I could tell there was something more on her mind, but I was confident she would tell me in due time.

The deal had been to send five ponies in their stead to be turned into alicorns, and Sonata had already fulfilled it. Iron felt particularly guilty about the fate of a certain Crystal, whom she’d treated roughly, only for the poor mare to end up abducted. As much as I felt bad for every single one of those ponies, I couldn’t help but be thankful that, at least, Iron was safe now.

Then she told me about Sonata and Star Seeds’ plans for New Detrot. They were essentially planning to enslave them, while making sure it couldn’t be called that.

In the short term—about two years—he wanted to make it impossible for anypony to leave New Detrot, in an effort to jump-start the town’s food production.

Essentially, he was planning on selling food at high prices, but giving away a small chunk for free to his workers. The prices he’d put together weren’t even unreasonable for fresh wasteland produce. The issue came from the fact that nopony would really have any opportunities to leave New Detrot, at least not with wages like that.

Iron did try to justify it by explaining the budget wouldn’t be there to pay them all that much more, at least not before more ponies bought the town’s food. However, she couldn’t deny that part of it was by design.

Putting aside enough caps to buy decent equipment was essentially impossible. Without it, nopony would have the means to survive outside of town. It was another reason why New Detrot was such an ideal place for his plans; it was essentially a natural prison for those who didn’t have the means to leave, such as stable dwellers.

Another part of his plan was manufacturing cheap alcohol out of potatoes to keep the population from growing rowdy—but also to keep them from setting aside enough caps to leave. There were many other tiny details like that; overall there wasn’t a single, large chain preventing somepony from packing up and moving somewhere else. Instead, it was dozens upon dozens of tiny hooks that dug into a pony’s skin.

The worst part was apparently that he clearly wasn’t doing this for a selfish purpose. He genuinely wanted the best for Equestria, and was simply horribly misguided. It was no surprise that he’d managed to indoctrinate Sonata like this, with his many grand plans and speeches about rebuilding Equestria together. It wasn’t shocking that he and Red-Eye got along so well, either.

We’d been sitting in silence for about five minutes, while I ruminated over what Iron told me. I’d seen some of these things in action when I passed through New Detrot in search of Iron, but hearing how many of them were on purpose chilled me to the bone.

It made me think about my original plan of just killing Star Seeds and hoping everypony would figure things out from there. Would that really work? So many of the barbs were already in place, and would probably remain even after his death.

The saving grace was that Sonata was the only pony who really knew of his plans, and the Talons were only loyal to their contract with him. But then, nothing was really stopping Stable 4’s wealthy elite from hiring the Talons, and picking up where he’d left off. Worse, they wouldn’t really be trying to improve anything. They’d just want to hold onto their shred of power.

The issue remained that the ponies of Stable 4 were already too focused on money. Its old status quo was probably the thing that inspired Star Seeds’ plans, after all. If the majority of ponies are too poor to afford rebelling, they won’t, especially if they still have something to lose.

Frankly, I had no idea how to fix that. Ever since I’d left the stable, I hadn’t put a single thought into how anypony could stop the suffering inside. The issue was so far beyond me that I couldn’t imagine a good solution. Ultimately, no matter what happened, somepony would end up in a position of power that they could then abuse. Especially once one factored in how easy it was to exploit the stable’s system. It was a balancing act, so subtle that changing anything might lead to worse results down the line.

Of course, now that I was a bit older, I did have some ideas for simple solutions, at least for the current situation. For instance, we could somehow mount an attack against the town and remove everypony with a shred of influence. It wouldn’t be easy, and it definitely wouldn’t be a good solution. It would fix things as they were now, but I didn’t know for how long.

On the other hoof, leaving Star Seeds in power could not possibly be good either. His ties to Red-Eye were much too concerning for that. I knew that, with Seeds in charge, much of the food grown here would go directly to Fillydelphia. In contrast, the stable dwellers would probably just sell to the highest bidder, so mostly just travelling merchants passing through. And with such a large amount of food here, the northern trans-equestrian route would really pick up in popularity.

Then, there was another reason to remove Seeds from the equation. With stable dwellers in charge, the status quo wasn’t quite as deeply set in stone. After all, without the stable itself to support such an imbalance of power, it could always crumble. Meanwhile, with Seeds in control, that chance was all but null for the foreseeable future. He would always want more, no matter what he claimed.

Huh, one solution would be to destroy the talismans and greenhouses he’d built. That would certainly force ponies to scatter, and would ensure they would remain free. In other words, there would be nothing left to support an imbalance in wealth.

But then again, many would die from that. All too many, in fact, and I couldn’t bring myself to condemn ponies to their death just because they might be enslaved otherwise. Mercy killing was still killing, and it would really make me no different than Star Seeds.

I needed to stop thinking about this now. I clearly wasn’t going anywhere. The one thing I knew, though, was that Star Seeds needed to die, or he would always end up rebuilding whatever we tore down, and it would just result in more and more ponies getting hurt. With my current knowledge, I couldn’t fix Stable 4, but with Iron’s aid, we could at least set them on the right track.

I turned to her. “Hey, Iron?” She hummed in response. “You didn’t change your mind about killing Star Seeds, did you?”

She frowned, then shook her head. “I’ll admit I’m a bit more hesitant now that I know who he really is, but I’ll do it if you tell me to.”

I nodded. “Good. His plans may not be entirely your fault, but they’re still your responsibility.”

“I know, I know…” She didn’t sound very convinced.

“At the risk of sounding like a broken record, let me reiterate. I want to help you make up for your misdeeds, but I can only do so if you want it as well. You need to fix things and assume responsibility.” I’d been ruminating about how to say it this entire afternoon, and now was a good time to bring it up.

I set Moonwing down next to me and sat up to properly face Iron. Moonwing groaned and turned to look at Iron with sleepy but curious eyes. I said, “You’re an adult now, and as much as it pains me to say it, I can’t foalsit you anymore in hopes that you’ll eventually grow into a good pony. Fixing your mistakes is on you, and you alone. I want to promise to always love you, but I don’t think I can love an unrepentant raider, even if she is my sister.” I felt a tear run down my face. “So please, face your duties so that I can stay true to that promise.”

I felt horrible saying that. It hurt so bad. I was essentially saying I would abandon her again if she didn’t do what I told her. Ultimately, I wasn't lying. She had to learn this lesson, or she would never grow as a pony. She wasn’t a filly anymore, and if she really regretted her actions, she needed to do something about it.

And yet, I still wasn’t sure if I could just walk away from her if she were to falter. Even after everything, part of me wanted to just accept her as my little sister again, no matter what. Even after all her misdeeds, I still couldn’t help but see her as a good kid who’d gone through too much hardship.

It was Iron who broke the silence. “Alright, I get it.” She sounded determined, but I could tell she was hurt by what I’d said. I’m so fucking sorry, Iron.

A silence descended upon us, with Moonwing watching us curiously.

After a dozen heavy seconds, Iron reaffirmed her stance. “You’re right.” She nodded. “There’s something specific I need to try before anything else… Have you seen Cherry anywhere? Do you know if he’s still awake?”

I smiled. “He went for a walk. Grace should be able to tell you where he was headed, she’s on guard right now.” I still wasn’t done catching up with her. The relief of finding out, even after all these years, that she hadn’t left me, was almost enough to offset the knowledge that it was Platinum who’d pushed us apart.

“Hey,” said Iron from behind the bench I was sitting on. Her tone was so nonchalant that I almost didn’t reply. After all this, a simple “hey” was all I got?

But no, I knew better. She was trying to reach out, and shutting her out now because of my stupid ego wasn’t the way. I still didn’t manage to get myself to turn around as I answered, “Hey yourself.” I tried to sound as casual as her, but it came out as bitter and hurt.

I heard her mouth open, then her hooves shuffle. Great, she’d probably come to apologise, and I’d just told her off, hadn’t I? Please don’t turn around and leave, Iron. If she did, I’d need to call out to her, and I’d need to show that I still cared.

But I did care, did I not? So why was that such a big problem?

Thankfully, I didn’t have to do anything, because she instead just walked towards me, before sitting down on the other end of the bench. We remained quiet for a long while. Probably wasn’t longer than a minute or two, but it felt like an eternity. Finally, it was Iron who broke the silence, “Fuck. I was hoping to try and hold a casual conversation and build up to the important stuff, but I just don’t have it in me.”

Curious more than anything, I turned to face her. She was frowning, and almost broke eye contact the moment I made it. She grimaced, and managed to get out two words. “I’m sorry.” My heart started beating quicker. I couldn’t tell whether to panic or to be relieved. Before long, though, my internal chaos was interrupted. “For what I did. I don’t know how to say it in a way that shows that I mean it, but I need to get it out.”

My heart skipped several beats. I could see it in her eyes that she genuinely meant it, but for some reason that only stirred anger in me. She knew what she did was wrong. I could hurt her right now. I could hurt her as badly as she’d hurt me. All it would take was a few sentences, and this bitch would finally get what was coming to her.

Before I could get them out, however, she continued. Perhaps she’d seen the emotion on my face and decided to take action. She said, “You don’t have to forgive me if you don’t want to. I don’t have an excuse for what I did, and I don’t see a reason why you’d accept my apology.” She gulped, tears welling in her unblinking eyes. “But it’s the only thing I can do.”

As I stared into her eyes, my anger started slowly melting away. Eventually, she broke eye contact, unable to suppress a small sob.

Why had I even considered hurting her? What would I possibly gain from that? “Truth is…” I replied, but trailed off. I stretched, shivered, then stood up and started pacing. I was buying time, and I knew it. I didn’t want to admit this. It felt like an admission of weakness.

All the while, she was watching me, apprehension painted all over her. How could I say this without making myself vulnerable again? I didn’t want to push her away, but I didn’t want to show just how much I’d missed her. I couldn’t let myself be seen as weak. I—

Huh, I was a hypocrite, wasn’t I? Constantly on her case about needing to open up, but refusing to show vulnerability when it really came down to it. Here she was, vulnerable and giving me what I’d been hoping for for the several past weeks. And I couldn’t even admit something as simple as this to her?

I stopped in front of her. She’d been watching me, confused and nervous, her eyes wide like a filly’s. “Truth is that I’ve already forgiven you. I can’t hate you, Iron. I tried, but somehow, in the short time that we’ve really known each other, I’ve grown too close to you to resent you.”

She stared at me in shock and disbelief, and I decided to leave her brain some time to catch up. Ever so slowly, her face started lighting up, eyes practically shining as they reflected the patch of bare night sky over us. She tried to respond, but I put my hoof over her mouth. Confused but attentive, she listened while I told her, “But know that I won’t take a hit. If you hurt me like that ever again, I’m leaving, regardless of how much I care for you. I will not let you use me as an emotional kicking bag.”

She nodded, and the tears started streaming down her cheeks, over her barely contained grin. Such a beautiful, beautiful smile.

Before my judgement could catch up with me, I kissed her.

And after a short moment, she kissed back.

Author's Note

Take two of promising this won’t turn into a romance. I’m allowed a love interest subplot, okay? :P

Chapter 34 — An End and a Beginning

An End and a Beginning

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I’d completely misjudged Star Seeds’ ability to defend himself. I paced around my cell, having my daily breakdown. Things were going so well, and then—

Suddenly, Gloam climbed out of a shadow near the door. The look on her face told me that things still weren’t going my way. “Master…” she mumbled. I’d gotten her to stop calling me that in most normal situations, but she occasionally slipped back into the habit when I was disappointed, angry, or sad.

I had to admit, when I was in one of those moods, I would rarely ever correct her. Was it just that I couldn’t be bothered, or did I simply enjoy it? After all, it reminded me that I was in control of at least one thing. Whatever it was, I couldn’t blame her for the habit.

I sighed. “Still no luck, I take it?”

Gloam shook her head like a filly who’d broken an expensive plate.

“Then keep trying, what else do I keep you around for?” I spat in a cold, bitter tone. Part of me revolted at my own words, but I ignored it. I wasn’t in a good spot right now, so if I had to lash out to stay sane, so be it.

Barely managing to hold back tears, Gloam disappeared again.

Deep down, I knew none of this was her fault; Star Seeds clearly knew about shadow magic, and he’d made sure to light up every single square centimetre of the town hall. Gloam had told me how difficult it would be for her to get around that building, but I figured it would all work out in the end.

I’d snuck into his office by taking a path that the guards didn’t expect—by means of locked doors. At the end, I told Gloam to stand sentry while I took care of Seeds. That was my big mistake: thinking I could take him on alone.

I’d been convinced he was just an elderly pen pusher with no way to actually defend himself once you got past his goons. Instead, before I even got to point my gun at him, I was knocked out by his anaesthetic spell.

By the time Gloam realised something was wrong, Star Seeds had already called the guards. While Gloam was definitely willing to lay her life down for me, she was also clever enough to avoid a fight she could not possiblywin.

So, I was taken to the dungeon. They called it a jail, but it was underground, cold, and damp, so it really couldn’t be compared with pre-war prisons. So, it was a dungeon.

There was only one prisoner apart from me; a ghoul buck who’d clearly just been left here to rot. I tried chatting him up a few times, but he was out of it. Most of the time, he was mumbling on about his village and how much he hated breathers. I didn’t know much about ghouls, but even I could tell he was less than a hoof’s width away from going feral.

The dungeon itself was fairly simple. It was a repurposed metro maintenance room. All they’d really added was steel bars, forming about a dozen cells. Despite the simplicity—or perhaps because of it—the cages were very sturdy. They could probably even hold back a griffin or three.

The worst part: they didn’t have a lock. No, they each had advanced electronic locks connected to a central terminal. Unplugging them had no effect—Gloam had tried on my behalf. They were solid enough to make brute force intractable unless somepony was strong enough to break the cages themselves.

An option to break out would have been a hacksaw, but I doubted I’d be able to cut away enough of the bars by the time the guard came by again. Provided Gloam even managed to find one. I doubted it was all that difficult, but with this town, I preferred not to make assumptions.

I’d had a lot of time to think about how the cages were secured, so I couldn’t help myself. I’d encountered locks like these before; usually employed by high-security companies all around Equestria. They shared an encryption key with a terminal, and the only way to get the lock to open was to send a signed and encrypted message to it through a parallel bus. In principle, the locks themselves were undefeatable. However, the mechanism that made them strong was also their weakness: reliance on an external system.

This essentially meant that those locks could be broken into if one managed to beat the security of the terminal they were attached to. Simple enough, in most cases. Sometimes ponies had annoyingly hard to crack passwords, but usually not.

Too bad that Star Seeds was clearly aware of this flaw. The password on the terminal was over three hundred characters long—if my basic estimations were correct; I couldn’t see the terminal, after all, so I had to rely on what Gloam relayed to me.

Of course, nopony sane could remember such a long password, so I knew Star Seeds needed some way to store it. It took me a while to figure that out, but I eventually remembered the keycard he’d put into his vest after his Talon unceremoniously threw me into the cell.

After that, security around the town hall had drastically been increased, doubling the number of guards and attaching alarms to certain doors. Try as she might, even Gloam didn’t manage to make it into his office or personal quarters in the… ten? Fifteen? Days I’d been stuck here. I was starting to go insane.

Her current orders were to kill Star Seeds and hopefully find the keycard on him. There was a chance he kept it in his office, given that it too was heavily guarded. If she managed to find an opportunity to get inside without being noticed, all the better.

Technically, the safe option would have been to order Gloam to first search his room and his office, and only kill him if that didn’t bring results. However, I was decently sure he would have that thing on him; besides, I really wanted the fucker dead. Not to mention, getting into his office was ninety percent of the effort now.

Oh, I was pacing again. I really was going to go insane in here, wasn’t I?

I pulled on my cigarette as I nervously waited. No doubt, it was the only thing preventing my stress from eating me up from within.

New Detrot’s town hall was a lot more heavily guarded than I remembered. I couldn’t fault them for that, given the attempt on Seeds’ life. Even my EFS seemed to pick up on the atmosphere, given that some of the bars occasionally flashed red. Well, most likely it was just a glitch with this particular model, especially since my gut feeling wasn’t screaming at me that I was in danger.

I’d long deliberated what to do first; to find Lockpick, or to deal with Star Seeds. I knew I wouldn't be able to free her without the keycard that Seeds carried on him at all times; I was aware just how over the top the security measures were. Sonata and Seeds had discussed them at length. I couldn’t exactly blame them; the electronic locks were easily scavenged from all across Old Detrot, and setting up the terminal didn’t take all that long either. So why wouldn’t they want to make sure their prisoners don’t escape?

On top of that, I didn’t know the exact location of the cells. The only thing I knew was that it couldn’t be on the blue line, as that one was kept as a secret passage for those in the know. In fact, Seeds had a locked trapdoor in his office that led into it. It only opened from inside, though, so it was more of an escape hatch than anything.

So I would definitely need to deal with Seeds before I got to free Lockpick. However, I didn't know where exactly the prison was, and finding it in the chaos that would ensue Seeds’ assassination would be a challenge. It was somewhere in the metro, yeah, but Sonata had never learned the exact location. Rather, she didn’t care about that little detail; she had no reason to.

However, if I started walking around the New Detrot underground, I’d definitely be spotted by the prison guard. There was a small chance he’d accept a good excuse from me, but given that everybody in New Detrot knew I’d left a few weeks ago, he’d likely ask questions. If Seeds found out I went to see Lockpick before him, he might catch on.

On the other hoof, if I went to talk to him first, it wouldn’t raise suspicions. So, my plan was simple; talk to Seeds, find Lockpick’s cell, go back to stab Seeds in the back.

He was taking a long time to get to me, though. The guard—an earth pony security officer from Stable 4—had informed Seeds of my presence ten minutes ago. Was he perhaps onto me? No, couldn’t be. He was just a busy buck, as usual. Hopefully. If he knew, he wouldn’t let me just sit outside his office, right? Besides, it was starting to get late, no doubt he needed to finish some paperwork before the end of the day.

It took another five minutes of anxious waiting before the door to his office finally opened. Star Seeds stepped out and gave me a bright, confident smile, contrasting starkly with the dark rings under his eyes. “Sonata, what a nice…” He narrowed his eyes. “You’re not Sonata, are you?”

I shook my head, trying to keep my disappointment hidden. Most ponies who knew one of us well were able to tell when the other was in control, so it wasn’t really a surprise that Seeds could distinguish between us. It would have made a few things easier if he didn’t notice, but I hadn’t been counting on it.

His face relaxed a little, but confusion was still apparent on it. After briefly looking me over, he said, “Well, why don’t you come inside? Feel free to leave your belongings on the bench.” Great, he was onto me. If I refused, he’d grow even more suspicious. Maybe there wasn’t anything more to it, and he was just making the offer? I couldn’t risk it.

I couldn’t hesitate for too long, so I started unstrapping my saddlebags and weapon holsters. I really didn’t want to be alone with him without a gun. I was far from a pushover without my weapons, but he clearly outclassed me in terms of magic. I probably had the upper hoof in a physical brawl, but not by much. I was taller and about thirty years younger than him, but I was also a twig with no muscle mass whatsoever. I did have the advantage that I had soaked up a sizable amount of radiation. Enough to save me from a bullet wound or five, but not so much as to make me nauseous.

After I haphazardly piled up my things on the bench, I followed him into his office. I sat down in a chair across from Seeds’, while he filled and turned on the electric kettle.

“So, Iron, what brings you back to New Detrot?” he asked in a calm voice, lacking any of the mockery I was used to from him. Although his tone still wasn’t as warm as when he talked to Sonata.

Seriously, it creeped me out how close those two had gotten. They almost had a father-daughter relationship going—hell, Sonata had actually called him dad—and I’d been completely left in the dark about it until now.

“In part, I did hear about my old friend getting captured, and I wanted to take her off your hooves.” I waited for him to sit down before continuing, “But when I arrived here, I noticed a certain feeling of… duty, I guess? Perhaps ‘guilt’ would be more appropriate of a term. I feel like I still have things to make up for.” It wasn’t a lie, just not the entire truth.

That took him by surprise, and it took him a moment to formulate a response. “That’s… unexpected. I always thought you would run away the moment your friends were free. When it turned out that you left Sonata in charge, it was such a pleasant surprise for me.” He slowly nodded as he talked. “Of course, when you changed your mind, I wasn’t expecting to ever see you again.” But you also claimed to know I’d come back eventually, didn’t you? I pushed the thought aside. Though his words clearly painted the image that he had of me, they still weren’t provocative in the slightest.

That was too weird. “Okay, sorry to cut the polite conversation short, but why are you all of a sudden being… normal to me? I’m used to you being a giant dick to me at all times.”

“Frankly? I’ve grown to respect you, Iron,” he said without a hint of sarcasm.

My jaw dropped low enough that a bloatsprite could have made its nest in my mouth. I remembered what he’d said about me to Sonata, but this was completely beyond anything I would have imagined.

Star Seeds chuckled. It was a weirdly kind laugh, in stark contrast to the arrogant snickers I was used to from him. “I suppose you wouldn’t have noticed since I rarely directly gave you orders, but Sonata told me everything about you. How you felt about your orders, what you’d gone through, and what you wanted. What you were willing to sacrifice.”

He glanced over at the kettle, then back to me. “When I first met you, I saw you as just another raider, with convenient shackles in the shape of a family. Your skill certainly impressed me, but I had no reason to give you credit for it.” He shrugged with a wistful expression that I’d only seen in Sonata’s memories. “Over time, your actions accumulated, and I started to be more and more grateful. Couple that with the understanding of what you’d been through, and I've been meaning to thank you for a while now. I was planning to do it after I set you free, but I didn’t get to see you after Sonata’s takeover of the stable.”

What in the everloving fuck? Yeah, I’d seen him act kind in Sonata’s memories, but getting used to it in the flesh was a wholly different experience.

He looked me straight in the eye with a genuine smile and extended his hoof over the desk. Hesitant, I took it, and he shook mine. “So, thank you, Iron, for being such a good help,” he said.

The scariest part was that he genuinely seemed honest. I didn’t have any of the usual alarm bells going off. Still, I couldn’t rely on gut feeling alone. “Sorry to break the moment, but… are you trying to butter me up or something?”

Again, this got a genuine laugh out of him. “I can’t blame you for being wary, but no. In all honesty, I’d prefer it if you stayed away from New Detrot, at least for the next few years.” Now he was making even less sense. Why would he not want my services? “You’ve done your part for now, and deserve the normal, happy life you’ve been dreaming of. If it was just you, I wouldn’t particularly care about what you choose, but I’ve grown to care about Sonata. Enough to know that I wouldn’t want her to sacrifice her entire life for the cause. Not before she’s had a chance at a normal life, however short it may be before Unity needs her to pick up her duties again.”

Star Seeds got up and lifted the kettle, even though it wasn’t boiling yet, and poured a cup for both himself and I. This was because his favourite tea needed to be brewed at eighty degrees, or it would taste bitter. I hated that I knew this. I hated that I knew this horrible, horrible buck so well.

After one sip, he said, “Take it from the pony who’d profit the most from keeping you around. You’ve done enough, and your debt to the wasteland is paid off.” But it wasn’t; what I’d done had added to my moral debt, not removed from it. I still needed to kill him, but I was beginning to doubt if I could even do it.

He sighed and added, “I can’t believe I’m growing sentimental enough to say something like that. Would you do me a favour and make sure that Sonata does not know about this conversation?” I just nodded. I had no idea if I could do it, but I didn’t need to tell him that.

After a minute of silence, I finally found a topic I could explore that wouldn’t reveal my original purpose for coming here. Hopefully it would still push the conversation in a favourable direction. “Well, I feel bad for the ponies who can’t leave New Detrot until it’s ready. If I can help have those restrictions lifted sooner, I’d like to do it.”

He smiled, but shook his head. “At this point, we have everything we need. We just have to wait for a few harvests, and then the workforce should be able to manage itself. After a year, maybe a year and a half, I’ll start paying ponies more fairly.”

That… really wasn’t all that bad. They’d be safe and relatively free for that time being. Maybe if I explained all of that to Candy, she’d understand. After all, she knew there wasn’t all that much we could do to fix Stable 4’s social hierarchy. Star Seeds, on the other hoof, could do it. And he would, provided he wasn’t lying to me. But at the same time, there wasn’t really any reason for him to lie.

We sat in silence as we finished our respective cups of tea. I didn’t have anything to say, still deciding whether or not I should let him live. Ultimately, he just wanted the best for everypony, even if the path he took was bloody. Killing him now would make it all for naught, and potentially even make everything worse.

But refusing to do so would make Candy unhappy. Even if I were to convince her that killing him isn’t necessary, she might still see it as me lacking the conviction to do better.

Noticing that I’d finished my tea, Seeds gulped down the rest of his cup as well. Standing up and heading towards the exit, he said, “So, how about we pay your friend a visit? I trust you’ve heard the news about Lock?” I nodded. “Good, good. She seemed to really want revenge, so talking some sense into her might not be the easiest thing in Equestria.”

I got up as well. “I’ll… take care of it.” Now would be a good time to kill him. Without any proper tools, it would be messy. However, with his back turned on me, I’d have the time to break his horn before he got off any spells. A good hit with that kettle and off it would go. Unfortunately, it would alert the guards, which in turn would make my life a lot more complicated.

On our way out, he motioned towards my bags and holsters, and I picked them up. Good, that would give me an opportunity later on. I still didn’t know if I was going to do it, and in fact was leaning towards leaving him alive, but I couldn’t stop looking for opportunities.

We left the town hall and started heading towards the metro’s entrance, the Foal Junction station. For a brief moment, I saw one of the white bars on my EFS turn red. Given how dense the town was, I just brushed it off as a minor malfunction. It was probably caused by somepony getting mad at something. This town was almost as dense as a stable, and this PipBuck’s EFS ranged further than the alpha’s.

So, I went back to thinking about what I needed to do. If I did let Star Seeds live, I’d also need to convince Lockpick not to hate me. Maybe I could just explain to her that it really wasn’t his fault. Platinum was to blame here, really, not Star Seeds. Though that opened the other can of worms. There was no way she’d accept that I’d let Platinum get away.

We took a shortcut through a dimly lit alley; the kind whose rancid piss smell was so intense that years of scrubbing wouldn’t get it out of the pavement.

The question remained whether or not to let him live. I didn’t need to kill him, and wasn’t that what I’d promised myself when I’d spared Platinum? That I’d avoid senseless violence if I could? Surely, Candy would—

I was snapped out of my thoughts by sudden, rapid and hostile movement on my EFS, right behind me. I turned around, but didn’t see anypony. The bar went to my left, and I didn’t have time to look its way before I felt cold steel plunge into my neck. A split second later, it was pulled out, and my vision immediately went dark.

I didn’t even have time to lose consciousness as I felt Star Seeds’ body drop on top of me. My next sense to go was hearing, as the ringing in my ears grew louder and overshadowed the town’s ambient noise. Then, everything grew quieter. I was cold.

For the first time in almost three weeks, I was glad to see Gloam. The moment she appeared from the shadows, I noticed that she had blood smeared in several places, with a huge grin on her face. She’d done it! I was so proud of her.

It didn’t surprise me when she levitated a yellow keycard out from her jacket and swiftly swiped it through the terminal’s reader. A few keystrokes later, the lock on my door let out a mechanical click, and I was able to push it open.

The first thing I did was give Gloam a long, heartfelt hug. I felt guilty for the many times I’d snapped at her, but I was also so, so, grateful that she finally got me out. I could have kissed her!

Wait, why didn’t I just do that? I pressed my lips against hers for just long enough to be a proper kiss, but short enough to not lose track of time. This was the first reward I’d given her in a while, so I had no doubt it would have the desired effect. “I’m so proud of you,” I whispered in her ear.

We quickly took out my belongings from the nearby metallic closet—it being secured by a regular, albeit high grade, lock almost felt like an insult. At least compared to how complex the cells’ were.

Making my way to the room’s exit, I said, “Now, the question is how do we get out of here. I assume you took out Seeds? Did anypony ring the alarm? What time is it?”

Leaving during the day would have us pretend like we’re just regular travellers going on our way and hoping nopony recognised me underneath my clothing. If we managed to leave before anypony discovered the body, we would probably be fine. Then again—

Gloam replied before my thoughts could get too wildly carried away. “I killed him nearby, as well as one of his guards. Nopony’s found the bodies, I don’t think, since it was already dark.”

I nodded to her and started walking towards the metro station.

The time would make things a little bit more difficult, but would give us different opportunities if we played our cards right. Leaving through the main gate at night would be entirely too suspicious, so the best course of action would be to find a poorly guarded spot in the wall. Kill the sentry, get onto the wall, jump down, and leave anywhere. They wouldn’t really know what to look for, or even which direction we’d left in—provided we could find paths without any fresh snow.

Escaping to the outer part of the green metro line seemed like a good idea. It would give us a reliable place to hide out during the day so that we could walk at night. But then again, it was too obvious. All it would take was one group of Talons searching the metro. For all intents and purposes, it was a closed tube; a trap. And they’d likely send a bigger group of them there.

Instead, heading east seemed like a better idea. I knew there were enough little villages, filled with small cots and huts, that we could hide in. If they didn’t know we went east, they simply didn’t have the ponypower to search all of that. Or I suppose it would be griffinpower? Whatever.

“Okay, listen here, Gloam.” Her ears perked up, but she didn’t turn around. “We’re gonna hide Seeds’ body to buy some time. Then, we’ll kill a guard and do the same with their corpse before escaping where nopony can see us.” I saw her nod, then I asked, “How close exactly were they? Do you think you could get their bodies into the metro without being noticed?” Another nod.

I let out a pleased hum. “Good, good. I’ll look around for a side room we could toss them into. Something locked and unused.” Should be easy enough. “What about the guard near the metro’s entrance?” No doubt, we would run into them soon.

“He’s still there. You didn’t tell me to kill him, so I didn’t,” she said in a meek, apprehensive voice.

“No, no, that’s good. Did you figure out their shift changes like I asked you to?”

She nodded. “Four times a day. The last shift change must have been less than an hour ago.”

“Perfect. You go kill him, and I’ll figure out what to do with the body while you grab the other two.” This was working out better and better. As long as we didn’t waste too much time hiding the bodies, this would be great for us in the long run. Once the change of shift happened, they’d grow suspicious, probably even check the prison.

But what would they do if they noticed I’d escaped? Immediately sending everyone out on a search would be unwarranted, so they’d try to find Star Seeds first. It would be an issue if they assumed I’d kidnapped him, but the ensuing chaos would still work to our advantage.

Even though we couldn’t stop them from looking for us, this was a good way to buy a period of certainty during which we wouldn’t have to worry about hiding from fliers. We’d be able to move much faster.

Perfect, things were going great. “Oh, and Gloam?” I paused for a moment. “Don’t forget to cover the bloodstains with snow. Doesn’t have to be super thorough, just make sure it’s not obvious.”

I locked the door to the dungeon as I started walking back. I’d booby trapped it so that it would make a lot of noise when opened. After the rest of my preparations, I decided to come back here and open the ghoul’s cell. I was fairly certain he’d lost the rest of his sanity and wouldn’t miss an opportunity to jump whoever woke him up.

With the door trapped, I was sure that the next pony who’d open it would have to deal with the nice surprise of a feral ghoul trying to tear their throat out.

Before that, I’d tossed the guard stallion’s corpse into the station’s electrical closet, locking it behind me. I couldn’t tell how good that was for a hiding place, but it was the best I’d been able to find in my limited time. Soon enough, I arrived back at the underground station, where I saw Gloam waving me over, two unmoving forms at her hooves.

I had a bad feeling about this. Maybe it was something about the bodies, or the way they were lying, or their mane colours—

My heart skipped a beat, and then another, and a third. I thought it would stop when I realised just who one of the bodies was.

No, no, it couldn’t be. That armour was nothing like what Iron would ever wear. And she’d left town before I even got here, so it couldn’t be her. She had no reason to come back.

And yet, no matter how much I tried to convince myself it was impossible, the feeling didn’t go away. Even Gloam seemed to have picked up on my worries and looked anxious. With every step I took, I was expecting to notice a detail that would undoubtedly prove this wasn’t Iron. No, expecting wasn’t the right way to describe it.

I was hoping this wasn’t Iron.

Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I broke into a sprint. This couldn’t be the end, it just couldn’t!

And yet, it was. In front of Gloam, on the station’s cracked vinyl flooring, lay Iron. Unmoving. The fur on her neck was soaked with barely dried blood. Even her armour, black as it was, was dripping with her own blood.

I lifted my gaze towards Gloam, who was now utterly terrified. “What did you do, Gloam?” I asked in the calmest tone I could muster. It came out as cold and hateful, but I hardly cared. Maybe she had an explanation.

“I…” She looked at the ground. “I…” She sat down. “I…” She met my gaze again. “I…”

My face must have shown just how little patience I had for this right now, because she quickly muttered, “I killed Star Seeds, as well as one of his guards, I-I think. P-p-probably.”

“You killed my best fucking friend, that’s what you did!” I was screaming. Any and all concerns for stealth were thrown out the window. It didn’t matter if I was caught. Nothing fucking mattered!

Gloam tried to back up, only to trip on Seeds’ corpse. She tried to mutter an apology, but I wasn’t having it. “You killed Iron! Not some random fucking guard! What the hell are we gonna do now? What did we come all this way for‽” I didn’t care about what I was screaming. I just wanted to scream. I didn’t want to think. Thinking would only lead to pain.

Standing over Gloam, I raised my hoof to strike her, but as she hid her face, another wave of emotion hit me. What the hell would it bring to beat her? Wouldn’t fucking bring back Iron.

Why was I even mad at Gloam? She didn’t know what Iron looked like. She had no reason to avoid killing her. Of course Gloam hadn’t asked, but I knew her! I should have told her. I shouldn’t have waited for her to ask.

Yeah, I couldn’t predict this situation, but it was still my fault Iron was dead. If I’d just talked to Gloam from time to time, if I’d just told her more about myself and my life, she wouldn’t have made this mistake. If I’d just treated her like a pony instead of a slave, none of this would have happened.

I turned around and let myself fall into a lying position, my head resting on Iron’s corpse, tears falling onto her blood-soaked barding.

But then, the impossible happened. She groaned. I jumped back, landing on my rump before leaning forward again and taking another look at her. The world seemed frozen for just a few millennia, but her chest rose ever so slightly.

I turned towards Gloam and asked in a panic, “Where’d you stab her?”

Confused and teary eyed, she tapped the side of her throat. Sure enough, I quickly spotted the wound on Iron’s neck. No, that wasn’t a wound. Her fur was missing along a thin line, no more than four centimetres across, and the flesh underneath was pink and raw. But there was not even a scab on it.

My mind raced in every direction at once. She lost a lot of blood. How did she survive that? Could I save her? What about Seeds? Was Iron still in danger? Where were my healing potions? Where was her wound? I needed a doctor. Would a healing potion even help her? I would save her. She was so cold. Had it been the armour that saved her?

I bit the inside of my lip hard enough to draw blood. Shut the fuck up! I screamed at my own mind. Plan, I needed a plan. “Gloam, light a fire and wrap her in as many warm layers as you can. I’ll fetch a doctor.” I started cantering towards the exit before adding, “And hide Seeds’ body in the electric closet when you get the chance.”

With that, I ran off towards town before she could even reply. Nopony stopped me as I sprinted towards Radheart’s house. All I could do was hope that she still lived there.

I knew Radheart was off her shift already. There was likely still a nurse in the clinic, but I trusted the ghoul more than some barely experienced nurse.

Finally there after a minute-long gallop, I hammered on the wooden door with no restraint in the slightest. Within a few moments, Radheart opened the door, big first aid saddlebags on her flanks. “Who’s hurt, how, and where?” she barked.

I didn’t bother asking how she knew why I was here. It was obvious. “She was stabbed. Lost way too much blood. I managed to close the wound.” Panting, I was probably hard to understand. “Metro station,” I added when I realised I’d forgotten to mention that detail. Thankfully, the station itself was small enough that this was all she would need.

“Who? Resident or not?” she insisted, marching past me.

“Does it matter who? Are you just gonna let her die if—” Why wasn’t she hurrying? Why was she wasting time with these questions?

“No, you fucking idiotic filly, I just might know the bloodtype off the top of my head,” she snarled in an hurried tone. Oh.

That caught me by surprise, and I needed a few fractions of a second too many to answer, “I-Iron.”

While I was answering, she started digging in the pockets of her lab coat. She muttered to herself, “B-negative. We got none of that. Great. Gonna need to cut into the O-negative stash. Absolutely fucking amazing.”

Finally, she found the bunch of keys in one of the pockets of her lab coat and tossed it to me. Then she barked, “Clinic, first door to the right, orange key. Middle fridge, top shelf. Get two bags.” She started walking at a much brisker pace towards where I’d come from. “The nurse won’t bother you if you have the key.”

As I turned towards the centre of town, she promptly added, “Actually, get three.” With that, I sprinted off.

“I don’t know what it is that you kids were doing down here that caused one of you to need a transfusion, and I don’t want to know,” said Radheart before turning towards the staircase leading outside. “I don’t want to be involved in whatever it is you’re doing, and I’m going to leave now. If you get in trouble, say you held me at gunpoint.”

She took a few steps towards the exit before adding, “She should be fine if you keep her warm till tomorrow. If you can, have her pass by the clinic to check for any lasting damage. Given her size and how much she’s lost, those three bags aren’t really enough to properly fix her up, but she should come around.”

After she left, I leaned against Iron’s unconscious body. She was wrapped in a blanket, as well as two sleeping bags. I stayed like this for ten minutes at least, quietly thanking the Princesses for saving Iron. I’d already profusely thanked Radheart—to the point that she’d straight up told me to shut the fuck up.

Gloam was lying on the other side of the fire, her expression indecipherable. I had many things to do, but one came before everything else. “Hey Gloam?” I said in a gentle tone. She turned to me, her mood visibly lifting. “I’m sorry for screaming at you earlier. It wasn’t fair; you didn’t know about Iron. I should have told you, but I didn’t, and that’s my fault.”

Her face contorted in a grimace expressing several different emotions. Still, deformed as it was, she had a smile on her face. Tears welling up, she was desperately trying not to cry. I waved her over.

I would really need to treat her better; to treat her like a pony. This just couldn't continue. I had to stop before I became like Crow… or worse.

When she lay down next to me, gently leaning against my body, I pushed that topic aside and started to ponder my options for escape. We had to get out of here somehow, but having to carry an unconscious Iron would make it difficult. Maybe we could find a place to hide in New Detrot itself? The metro tunnels, despite all being blocked off, still had a decent amount of space in them. Surely, there had to be a place we could stay in.

Another option would be to try and get a cart, and have Gloam leave with Iron and I in the back. Would be risky, since they’d be on alert once they realised Seeds is missing. Alternatively, we could leave Iron here with a note telling her to find us in Lightford.

Maybe I could combine that plan with the one that involved staying hidden? Stay out of sight till tomorrow night, then leave and let Iron recover on her own. By then she’d be awake, surely?

I sat there for maybe an hour, paralysed by everything I had to keep in mind. I had to weigh the risks and the opportunities, and consider everything that could possibly go wrong. If I screwed this up… I didn’t want to think about it.

“Lockpick? Is that you? What’s going on? What happened?” asked Iron in a weak, lethargic tone. My heart skipped the fifth beat that day.

The radiation counter on my PipBuck was getting dangerously low. I was starting to feel drained, the symptoms of blood loss catching up to me again. On the bright side, we were finally getting close to our destination, and thankfully that place had a nice ditch full of radioactive waste. I shuddered, realising I’d just thought of radioactive waste as ‘nice’.

We’d been walking for almost two hours and were now getting close to the tiny village that acted as our base of operations. Most of our trip had been spent taking a wide berth around New Detrot once we exited the blue line.

First thing I’d done after waking up was spend a quarter hour in a pocket of radiation, hoping it would do something to help with how heavy my entire body felt. Luckily, it did, but it apparently couldn’t address the root issue.

Radiation could heal my wounds, but in the current state of my body, it couldn’t replace lost blood. Probably because my bone marrow hadn’t ‘alicornified’ yet. I didn’t know why I knew where blood was produced, but I didn’t really care.

After I was able to trot on my own, Lock and I started talking, catching up. This had kept us busy for most of the trip, but we were now walking in silence, processing what the other had said.

I learned about her time as Crow Call’s apprentice. That knowledge still chilled me to the bone, with the only silver lining being that he hadn’t laid a hoof on her. However, the part that really scared me was that I didn’t know why he’d taken her under his wing. He had to have some kind of ulterior motive. Maybe I was overthinking things, but given my experience with this vile cunt, I had good reason to.

Then, there was the revelation that Banter had knowingly betrayed us. Grace hadn’t known about it, and it hadn’t come up in my conversation with Platinum either, so it genuinely was news to me. It stung horribly, and all I could do to stop myself from cursing his name was gritting my teeth. The fact that he’d changed his mind at the last moment did help, but I still felt hollow knowing what he really thought of me. Then again, it really shouldn’t have been a surprise.

For a moment, I regretted everything I did to keep him safe, but Lock had reminded me that Platinum was the one to blame here. She was right, of course. Had it not been for that feathered cunt, things would have been resolved much better.

Well, it probably would have led to Banter insisting on ditching me. That, in turn, would have brought me back on the wrong path, which would have ended with me becoming a full-blown raider and eventually dying from an overdose, but at least these three would have been safe.

The idea that Platinum might have saved my life made me angrier than it should have, and I shook my head. Lock looked at me in confusion, but I quickly reassured her that it was nothing.

I didn’t dare admit to her that I no longer had it in me to hate Platinum for what he’d done. Not because I pitied him, and certainly not because I forgave him. No, I just didn’t want to waste any more of my life on scum such as him. He’d ruined my life up to this point, and I wouldn’t let him ruin any more of it.

Naturally, I also didn’t have the guts to tell her I’d spared him. Instead, I just said he’d gotten away. She did seem happy to find out that he would never fly again, though.

I didn’t want to think about the fact that I’d lied to her yet again, so I turned my mind somewhere else. Somewhere more positive… like Candy, or Cherry.

I’d told Lock about Cherry and what he meant to me. I somehow wound up babbling about our plans to find his family. Of course, my mood took a nosedive when I reminded myself I only had a few years left to live. Right now, all I wanted was a normal life, and this cunt in Marypony had taken that from me.

I hadn’t planned on revealing the details about my remaining lifespan to Lock. I hadn’t told Candy, so why would I tell Lock? But I couldn’t really lie to her with tears in my eyes. I’d already said so much, and I knew she wouldn’t buy any other excuse.

In fact, the first of what I’d explained to her was the whole ‘alicorn’ thing. It was only fair to start with that, given the kind of wound I’d manage to survive. Especially since my first response was to seek out a pocket of radiation.

I continued ruminating over our discussion for the rest of our walk. I couldn’t quite tell how much time passed, because I just had so damn much on my mind at the moment. However, there was one thing that kept trudging through my brain, shoving aside all other thoughts and clawing its way to the front: What Lock had told me about her meeting with Candy.

Now that I’d met Candy myself, none of what Lock had to say really surprised me, but it did hammer in a single point: Candy wouldn’t accept me in her life until I proved myself to her.

Yeah, she’d be willing to give me a second shot and help me in every way along my path to ‘redemption’, but if I wanted her to love me, I’d need to make up for my mistakes.

The more I thought about it, the worse I felt. Doubts, uncertainty, and confusion were piling up in my mind. All I could cling onto was the knowledge that Candy could make me feel better. She would know what to say to silence those worries and prevent me from faltering.

When we finally arrived at our base of operations—a simple shack just big enough for all of us—we found it emptier than expected, with only a single white bar inside. I couldn’t stop myself from getting a bit worried, even though I should have known better. I knocked on the door while the other two stayed a safe distance back. I didn’t immediately get a reply, but I couldn’t blame whoever was inside; it was the middle of the night.

After I knocked again, I heard Cherry’s voice from inside, “Who’s there? I’m armed, so don’t come in.”

“Cherry, it’s me,” I said in a gentle tone.

I heard hoofsteps run over to the door, and a second later, it opened. Cherry practically jumped out, standing on his hind legs to hug me, pressing my face into his chest. Now that my body had mostly run out of rads to stave off the symptoms of blood loss, I found myself swaying. I was tempted to push him away for the sake of my balance, but the heat of his body and the feeling of his heartbeat on my cheek dissuaded me.

“Sweet Celestia, Iron, what happened? I was so worried. You were meant to be back before midnight,” he practically whined into my ear. It might have bothered me if I still had fully intact hearing, but not even my freaky alicorn regeneration could undo the effects of years of close proximity to gunshots.

Instead, I just pressed my cheek further into his chest as I slurred my reply, “Something came up, and I needed to change plans. Where are the others? I don’t wanna explain this twice.” I made sure to speak slowly so as to catch my breath and avoid getting dizzy.

“The others went to see if anything big was happening in ND. They should be back tomorrow morning at the latest. I stayed behind in case you came back while they’re away. I’m glad I did.” He moved his head away from me in an attempt to look me in the eyes, but the motion put strain on my neck, forcing me to tense some muscles. He didn’t notice, and continued talking, “Who are the other white bars I’m seeing?”

The edges of my vision turned black, and my ears were filled with the ever familiar ringing. The next thing I knew, I was lying on top of him, while he rubbed the back of his head with a pained expression. “You okay, Iron?” he asked.

I grimaced and gave a hesitant nod. “I just lost a lot of blood. Hard to keep my head straight.”

“What? Are you gonna be alright?”

I replied with a weak but affirmative hum. He pulled me forward, and we turned to face each other, foreheads touching. We shared a smile, and I felt all giddy. Sweet stars, how the hell did he have such an effect on me?

For a second, a silly thought crossed my mind. Whoever had created the unicorn body was smart enough to angle our horns so that they wouldn’t get in the way of kisses.

I didn’t know why, but his presence alone helped me forget about today’s stress. Maybe not entirely, but enough to have such silly, unimportant thoughts. We both sat up, and as he looked at me with those expectant eyes, I knew he wanted to hear about what had happened. Even if it meant I’d have to tell it twice.

I heard Lock clear her throat as she stepped into the shack, standing at the entrance.

I looked away, our moment broken. How was I going to tell this without worrying him? It was bad enough that I almost died, but I was afraid he would be able to pick up on my hesitation. I knew he didn’t want me to risk my life, but I’d convinced him that I needed to.

If he found out I was having second thoughts about this whole ‘hero’ business, he would keep insisting that I just stop.

I looked at him again. Worry was slowly spreading on his face. Great, there was no way I’d get away with it, was there? But then again, I needed to be open with him. “I could have killed Star Seeds, but I had second thoughts. Then, Gloam,” I pointed over at the mare hiding behind Lock, “stabbed Seeds and I. I’m not going to sugarcoat it; it’s pretty much a miracle that I survived.”

He held my gaze and gulped, waiting to see if I was going to continue. Instead, it was Lock who spoke up, “Second thoughts? Why? Didn’t you want revenge?”

I turned towards her as I sat up, wincing as the room spun. When I regained my bearings, I gave her a wan smile and said, “After Platinum, I kinda realised that revenge wouldn’t fix anything. I won’t get back anything that I’ve lost, and it won’t improve my life in any meaningful way.” Realising that my words could be misinterpreted, I quickly added, “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret what I did to that turkey, but I’d rather just focus on getting my own life back on track, especially with how little I have left.”

Then, I added with a shrug, “Besides, I never really blamed Seeds for any of this. If anything, he got me away from that bastard Crow before he managed to get into my head.” Behind Lock, I saw Gloam shiver. That explained quite a few things, though it didn’t exactly come as a surprise.

I realised that a part of me was upset at Seeds’ death, but that feeling was easy enough to ignore. Those weren’t my emotions, after all.

Lock just rolled her eyes. “Whatever, I’m just glad I got my revenge, even though I would have preferred to do it myself. But just the satisfaction of ruining his plans is good enough for me; the knowledge that he died while realising it was all for naught makes me giddy.”

She closed the door and stepped forward before sitting down next to Cherry and I. Gloam followed her, but didn’t join our little circle. After a short moment of hesitation, Lock waved her over and tapped the floor next to her.

Once we were finally all facing each other, Lock said with a smirk, “I have to admit, though, it’s really weird to hear the most ruthless mare I know hold such an annoyingly sensible speech.” She chuckled. “I just hope I’ll never mature enough to turn down some good vengeance.”

Her wording got a small giggle out of me as well, and a short but loud laugh out of Cherry. I gave Lock a sad smile. “Like I might have said before Fillydelphia, I’m tired. I’m tired of getting shot at and tired of almost dying. I’m tired of killing and tired of death. I’m tired of the guilt and tired of justifying violence.” I spoke too quickly and found the room spinning once again. I closed my eyes while I took slow breaths, waiting for my sense of balance to return.

When I opened them again, Cherry and Lock were wearing solemn looks. In that short silence, I realised I’d said the wrong thing. I really didn’t want to argue about this anymore, but I knew what they were about to say.

It was Cherry who spoke up again, “Then why did you agree to Candy’s plans? I know you wanna be a better pony, but you don’t have to play hero for that.”

I sighed. I didn’t want to talk about this. I didn’t want to think about it. It was a line of reasoning that would only lead to a bad outcome. “Well, I need to make up for the things—”

I cut myself off when I saw his glare. Damn it, why could he see through me like this? Did my resolve mean nothing? I knew I could push on; I’d always pushed on when I had to. Me having second thoughts about it didn’t mean I’d fail.

“Come on, Iron,” he said in a surprisingly gentle tone, “I know why you’re really doing this, but I need you to say it.”

Why else would I be doing this? Candy was right, I had to—

Oh. I just wanted to make Candy happy, didn’t I? In hindsight, it was obvious, no wonder he’d seen through me. I gulped, finding it difficult to admit it out loud. “I don’t want to lose Candy again.”

While he nodded, I glanced over at Lock, who was quietly listening to the conversation. When she saw me looking over, she let out a small questioning hum and lifted her head further towards me, as if asking me what I wanted. Why didn’t she have anything to say here? Then again, why would she? I was just hoping she could give me a way out.

Cherry broke the silence again, “Then ask yourself if you actually want to do this. Do you really want to spend the rest of your days playing hero? Maybe staying around Candy isn’t a good idea. Why don’t we just… leave and live our own life?” He shook his head. “I guess that’s a poor way of wording it. I’m not asking you to choose between her and I; I’ll stay around you as long as I can.”

I blinked at him in confusion, but before I could ask what he meant, he said, “I am asking you to choose between yourself and her, though.” He held my gaze for a few moments, and asked, “Do you really want to spend the rest of your life chasing an ideal that isn’t yours?”

There it was. The question that I'd been dreading. I knew the answer, but I didn’t want to admit it.

Footnote:

Perk Lost: Destined for Greatness — You’ve left the road that was paved for you, losing the benefits of your fate. You no longer gain +2 luck.

Chapter 35 — I’m All You Need

I’m All you Need

Mom, Grace, Moonwing, and I were sitting around the fireplace of a small, ruined building east of New Detrot. Moonwing was asleep, huddled underneath Grace’s wing, which was apparently one of her favourite napping spots. Perhaps it was some kind of pegasus instinct?

It was getting late enough that the rest of us were considering hitting the hay as well. We’d been quiet for a while now, so there wasn’t much point in staying up any longer.

In general, we hadn’t been very talkative over the past week. Admittedly, that was mostly my fault, given how gloomy I’d gotten. Both Mom and Grace insisted my mane had visibly deflated, but I wasn’t buying it.

The reason for my sour mood was as obvious as it was pervasive. I just couldn’t take my mind off of what had happened, no matter how hard I tried. What had I done wrong?

“Hey Mom?” I asked in a hushed tone.

“Hmm?” she replied.

“Could I borrow your PipBuck again?” It was one of the older but more common models—the same as the one I’d lost—and taking it off without the specialised tooling was very impractical.

She got up and trotted over to me with a sigh. “Are you gonna listen to that recording again?”

I simply nodded. She extended her leg as she let out another sigh. In front of me, I saw Grace roll her eyes, but she remained silent.

I levitated out the holotape and placed it into Mom’s PipBuck. The tiny speaker crackled as it played back Iron’s last message for the sixth time this week.

“Hey Candy, by the time you find this tape, I’ll already have left. I’m sorry for not telling you this in person, but I had my reasons. I don’t know if they’re good reasons, but I have to make up my mind before it’s too late. I think I just don’t want to see you disappointed in me, really.”

She took a deep, slow breath and let out a quiet string of curses. Finally, she spoke up again, “Fuck, I just can’t find a good way to say it. Maybe there isn’t one. The truth is, I can’t do this. No, that’s not it. I simply don’t want to do it. I don’t want to spend my life chasing an ideal that isn’t mine. I…”

Iron’s voice went quiet for a moment before she continued, “I frankly just want to live out the rest of my life as a normal pony. Not as a hero, nor as a bandit. Just some wastelander.”

I heard her tap her hoof on the floor as she listed off her new goals. “No killing unless necessary, no blood money, and no orders.” She paused for a moment, possibly in hesitation. “I think I can make a living as a repairpony. I know my way around mechanical engineering well enough to make myself useful like that. Or maybe I can just repair guns, since that’s what I have the most experience with.”

The PipBuck’s speaker crackled as it played back her sigh. “What the fuck am I saying? None of that matters.” There was another pause. “I’m sorry, but I have to make my own choices. I can’t go down a path that isn’t my own just to have you stick around. I’m not a hero, Candy. I’ll fix my life in my own way.

“And so, I’m not going to force you into a rough choice. I know that, whether you’d choose to leave me or stay, you wouldn’t be able to find peace. You’d probably beat yourself up over it regardless, and I really don’t want you to give up your ideals for me.” She audibly gulped. “S-similarly, I don’t want to take on yours just to k-keep you around.” She tried to keep her tone perfectly even and well enunciated, but her voice wavered as words slurred together. Silence came down on the recording, only broken by her occasional, quiet hiccups.

Over the better part of a minute, the sobs slowly quieted down, before she finally said, “I’m sorry we have to part ways so soon after finally finding each other, but I guess we don’t need each other anymore. I’m not a weak filly anymore, and you’re no longer a naïve bleeding heart. Then again, I needed you more than you needed me, huh.”

I heard another sigh. “So I guess it's goodbye for now. If we ever see each other again, I just hope I can look you in the eye.”

The recording kept playing static for a few more seconds before it finally ended. I found myself staring into space again, the silence deafening. No matter how many times I heard it, I always found myself hoping there was something more. That there was a detail I’d missed, or a sentence I’d misunderstood.

But no, Iron was gone yet again. This time, there was no easy way to distract myself from the pain. I couldn’t just keep looking for her to keep my spirits high.

Mom waved her foreleg in front of me and said, “Equestria to Candy, you there?”

I shook my head and looked at her, making sure to smile, “Oh, sorry, I just got caught up in thought.”

She just frowned in concern. After a brief staring contest, she said, “Look, Candy, I know this is hard for you, but you really need to stop listening to that thing. You need to let go, love. I tried to give you space, but you’re only hurting yourself right now.”

Grace nodded in agreement, and I felt my ears flatten against my head. They were right, I really needed to get my head straight or I’d be dragging down the mood for months to come.

“Sorry,” I replied almost out of reflex. “I just… Can’t believe how hard it is to accept. I thought…” I looked at the ground, trying to find my words. “I thought that I’d be able to give up on her entirely, but I can’t even do that. I can’t bring myself to resent her, and yet I don’t know if I can forgive her.”

It was Grace who spoke up first. “Candy, look at me,” she said. I lifted my gaze and met hers. Her violet eyes held a solemn expression that I’d only seen a few times on her. “I’ve seen you forgive bandits and raiders who wouldn’t have turned around anything about their life if they hadn’t been forced to. We just happened to take the lifeline you threw us, but without it, a lot of us would have never changed.”

I opened my mouth to rebut, not really sure what to even say, but she cut me off. “Here, you have your own sister willingly fixing her own life, and you reject it because it’s not good enough for your standards. No offence, but what the fuck is wrong with you?” She shook her head in disappointment. That wasn’t true, I… Well, I couldn’t blame her for thinking that. “That’s not the Candy I know. So either you’ve changed, or there’s more to it than that.”

Grace sighed. “I wasn’t gonna say anything ‘cause it ain’t none of my business, but I guess I shoulda, since you can’t make up your damn mind. Either stick to the fucked up way you’ve abandoned Iron and live with it, or fix this stupid misunderstanding.”

Her tone remained completely calm, not even loud enough to wake Moonwing. And yet, her words cut deep into me.

I sighed and stared at the fire in silence for a moment. I didn’t know what to think anymore. I couldn’t deny she had a point, but at the same time… “I can’t overlook the horrible things she did. She wasn’t just a simple bandit, her actions condemned hundreds. As much as I want to forgive her, I can’t just change my mind like that.”

“But do you want to change your mind?” Mom asked in that gentle tone I’d tried to emulate my whole life.

I tried to speak up, but my voice caught in my throat. I gulped and shook my head. “I can’t, not without giving up everything I stand for.”

“Bullshit,” said Grace. “You’re not the kind of person who can be defined as some kind of righteous crusader and nothing more. You told me what you were willing to do to keep her safe. Way I see it, you’re giving up on yourself by letting her go, not by forgiving her.”

I barely managed to hold in a sob and took a deep breath. Just like that, I was staring at the floor again as I muttered, “Well, it doesn’t matter. She’s gone, and there’s no way we’re gonna find her.” I ignored the part of my brain that screamed about how illogical this was. I was sure I could figure out a way to give it sense.

Mom’s voice made my ears perk up. “That’s an excuse and you know it, Candy Cane.” When I turned to look at her, she was shaking her hoof in disapproval. “Tell me, if she were right here, at this very moment, what would you do?”

I wanted to be stubborn and say that I’d leave her, but by now even I knew I couldn’t do that. I just sighed. “I’d probably hug her and find a way to talk things out,” I admitted with a slightly annoyed groan.

On the surface, I was bothered by the fact that she seemed to know better, like she usually did. This would likely end in an “I told you so”.

In reality, though, I was a little upset that I couldn’t even hold my word when it came to something as important as this. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t let Iron get away with it, and I was already breaking that promise.

However, both of those feelings were completely overshadowed by the relief of knowing I would get to see Iron again, if I managed to find her. I just couldn’t resent her, no matter how hard I needed to.

Mom gave me a warm smile and said, “Well then, let’s go. She and the other three are headed east.”

I furrowed my brow. “How do you know that?”

Her smile turned to a smirk. “I was the Head of Security in Stable 4. I had all the tags of all the important ponies. Which includes the previous overstallion, whose PipBuck Iron happens to be wearing.”

My eyes went wide, and I stood up, almost tempted to run off immediately. No, we would go tomorrow.

Grace also seemed to perk up as she said, “I’ll take the first shift so you can properly tuck in your tiny dweeb.”

Her wording made all three of us burst out laughing, which in turn woke up Moonwing.

I was lying in bed, relaxing as I waited. For the first time in weeks—since we’d left New Detrot—I was properly clean. Even before that, I hadn’t really bothered properly washing my fur. The water was a bit too cold, and the washrooms too open and drafty. Besides, soap was expensive—well, relatively speaking. Good thing we’d stolen some before leaving.

Now that I’d really washed myself, I couldn’t help but marvel at how clean I was. Had my fur always been this damn pink? Even my tail’s yellow and green looked impossibly colourful for the wasteland; like the hues themselves were prohibited from existing. In fact, this had probably been the most thorough bath I’d had since I’d left the stable.

The four of us had decided we would go the extra length to have a comfortable bath, under the pretence that it would be our way of celebrating that somehow everything turned out fine in the end.

In the living room, we had a large fire burning in the hearth. We used it to heat water, as well as to dry some additional firewood. The biggest risk about having a fire for such long periods of time was that it could potentially attract unwanted attention. Because of that, we always had somepony on patrol whenever the fire was on. Earlier it had been me, and now it was Lock’s turn. At my request, Gloam was also accompanying her.

Of course, the region was foggy enough that the smoke likely wasn’t visible from the main road, especially given how far we were from it. Lightford was a relatively big town, and with how few ponies came through here, the odds of anypony bothering us were quite low. In fact, that was the reason we’d decided to stay here for a week.

I still thought back to Candy multiple times a day, but spending time with the others managed to distract me. Cherry in particular seemed to take over my mind whenever we were together, which was most of the time. We only really separated whenever I had to go out on patrol, in the afternoon, or when he was sleeping off his own shift.

The way he made me feel was something I had only imagined until now. I’d read about it, but never really expected it would happen to me. With every passing day, I was more and more in love. Every time he brushed his tail against me when he trotted past, every smile we shared, and every kiss only caused me to fall deeper and deeper into this new, wonderful state.

I tried to keep most of that private; I was way too proud to show that side of me to Lock or Gloam. I even held it in when around Cherry, out of fear I’d be too much.

But that would change tonight. I would make my move when he came out of the bath. I’d only ever read about how that stuff was actually supposed to go. Oh, and I’d experienced a memory orb, but that hardly counted since it was between two mares.

My heart was beating faster every time I rehearsed my course of action. I was a little apprehensive—okay, more than a little—but now that we were both clean, it would be the best opportunity. Especially since we would still have hot water for after the whole thing.

I felt my face grow hot just thinking about it. What was I, a little filly? I’d done this before. Well, not under the same circumstances, but it was still nothing to blush about.

Then again, despite my… experience… I hardly understood this whole thing. Figuring out how to initiate it took a lot of thinking. The closest personal reference I had was with Crow Call and—yeah, not thinking about that. So, most of my knowledge on the matter came from books I’d read over the years. And all of them ended up skipping the act itself. Frankly, I had no idea if my plan for the whole ordeal would work. I didn’t know what kind of contingencies I’d be dealing with, after all.

Finally, I heard him open the bathroom door. I shifted around on the bed, picking a suggestive but not revealing position to lie in. Frankly, I had no idea what I was doing. For all I knew, I probably looked like a contortionist trying to fit into a tiny box—without the box.

Then, the door to our room opened, and in walked Cherry. I’d never really paid attention to it prior to our first kiss, but his gait was extremely graceful. I could just watch him trot all day.

But that wasn’t what caught my eye this time. His coat was so much brighter than I was used to, so much more colourful. Even the scars that littered his body seemed to pale in the presence of such a vibrant colour. And his mane… I’d always thought the darker bangs were just dirtier than the rest, but it turned out they really were a shade darker. He looked absolutely beautiful.

“You okay, there, Iron? You should close your mouth before something flies in,” he said with a playful ring to his voice.

“I just… You look gorgeous,” I managed to get out. “I didn’t know it would make this much of a difference.”

His face grew a smirk as he rolled his eyes. “Come on, this isn’t the first time you see me after a bath.”

“What, should I take it back?” I said, and we shared a chuckle. “But really, didn’t you see yourself in the mirror? You are stunning.”

That seemed to get to him as he finally broke eye contact, blushing—at least I was pretty sure he was; it was hard to tell on his coat. “No, it was all fogged up,” he admitted.

I tapped the mattress next to me. “Come on, supermodel, lie down with me.”

He stared blankly for a moment, and the silliness of what I’d said threatened to overwhelm me. Then, the situation finally seemed to catch up to him, and his eyes went wide, his blush only intensifying to the point that I was certain of it. He didn’t stay locked up for long, and quickly made his way onto the bed. If he was anywhere near as shy as me about this, I had a feeling why he was in such a hurry. I chuckled.

Cherry sat down next to me, and I lay against him. Now, I would kiss his neck, nibble on it, and eventually make my way downwards. But when I actually tried to do it, I found myself giving him a short kiss on the cheek, and pulling him into a hug.

I was in no hurry, but I was still annoyed at myself for chickening out at the last moment. This wasn’t difficult, so why was I hesitating?

Come on, Iron, move, you’ve been planning this all day. And yet, all I managed to get myself to do was press my cheek into his neck.

Cherry wrapped his left foreleg over my withers and started gently stroking my shoulder and chest. He kissed my cheek, then my jawbone, continuing to make his way down towards my neck.

Would it be okay to let him do all the work? I was supposed to be the one to initiate this kind of stuff, no?

Those worries melted away, as he gently kissed my neck. He then shifted away, pulling on my left leg. I took the hint, rolling onto my back before realising just how exposed that left me.

My mind raced in a panic for a moment, but when Cherry gently ran his hoof across my stomach, my thoughts were immediately quieted. I finally met his gaze, and his calm smile made me relax further. Why had I been so nervous about this? This was Cherry, the one pony who knew me best.

His hoof traced a small circle on my stomach, then made its way down to my thigh while I melted into his embrace. The feeling of his touch sent shivers down my leg, making my fur stand on end. He drew a line back up to my stomach, and as his hoof passed near my nether regions, I caught the briefest desire that it would linger.

For a moment, I wanted to guide him down there; get him to stop teasing… but I didn't. I didn't want to be in charge, I didn't want to think about what I wanted. For once, I wanted to depend on someone else. Or maybe I just wasn't sure I really did want it? Whatever it was, I stayed quiet.

His breath hot on my collarbone, he said, “You're so soft, even with all these scars.” He lifted his head, and I found myself staring into his eyes. “You are so incredibly beautiful when you smile. And I don't mean those confident or cheeky ones you usually wear, but a real, happy smile. You practically glow.”

“I—” the words caught in my throat, my cheeks burning hot with a furious blush. I was a weathered mercenary, a cruel bandit, a cold-blooded killer, and here I was, reduced to a stammering mess by my lover's words. Right now, I didn't feel like any of those things, however. I felt like an ordinary mare, spending the night with her buckfriend. I was exactly where I wanted to be.

Finally, I was able to put some words to my thoughts. “I didn't even realise I was smiling…” I really hadn't.

He continued gazing longingly into my eyes, all while drawing little circles and lines all across my body. I couldn't hold his gaze, feeling my cheeks grow hotter with every passing second.

Every time his hoof drew close to my inner thighs, he seemed to deliberately stop just before the point of no return, as if asking for permission.

I wanted him to stop teasing already, but I couldn’t work up the courage for it. Why was he being so roundabout with this? Couldn’t he just take the hint?

But why was I so shy about this? I wanted this, so why did I not dare say it? Oh, I didn’t have to say it, I could… show it. I could guide his hoof down, couldn’t I?

And yet, I was paralysed. Why was my mind making it all so difficult? Was I scared it would hurt? A little, but I could handle pain.

Just do it, please, I mentally begged, hoping it would get through to him.

But if I told him that, I’d be responsible for what happened next. I didn’t want that. Why was this such a hard decision, and why couldn’t he just make it for me? He already knew what I wanted.

If he chose for me, it wouldn’t be my fault if I ended up not liking it. I wouldn’t have to change my mind if it ended up too painful or too gross.

Because when it didn’t hurt, it instead left me disgusted, both during and after the act. But this was Cherry, not some slimy older stallion pretending to care about me; why would I feel this way?

Stars above, I was thinking way too much, wasn't I? This was supposed to be the pinnacle of what a loving relationship was, and I wasn't even enjoying it enough to stop thinking for even a second. What if I didn't really want this? What if I would hate it and end up resenting him? Airwaves had done nothing wrong, and yet I still held a grudge against her. What if it would be the same with Cherry?

Why couldn't he just make the damn choice for me? Everything would be so much simpler!

"Iron, what's wrong?" He was still gently caressing my side, but seemed to slow down a little.

Shit. I'd fucked up. I'd ruined it for him. This was the perfect opportunity, and I'd robbed him of it. After all he did, he deserved everything I could give him. I couldn't afford to be ungrateful, not with how much he meant to me.

"Iron?" He stopped touching me.

"It's nothing, I was just thinking back to a fight." I gave him the best smile I could manage.

"Iron, you're crying." Oh, that I was. "Did I go too far? I tried not to."

"It's just… I-I can't stop th-thinking.” Great, I was sobbing now. “I kn-know this should be our moment, but my brain is just f-full of doubts and uncertainties and—"

Cherry silenced me with a kiss, which acted as a reset switch on my mind, momentarily emptying my head. When he pulled away, he whispered, “It's alright. I’d rather wait until you’re sure. And if it never happens? I'd much rather miss out on it than have you regret it.”

I reached up and pulled him into a long, passionate kiss. What had I done to deserve such an understanding partner? I was so very glad for my choice to leave behind whatever heroic path Candy had wanted me to walk. If it meant living the rest of my short years with Cherry, then it really was the right decision.

After I broke the kiss, I looked at him and said, “Cherry, I promise I'll figure this out before my time comes. I think I genuinely want it; to go all the way with you, that is. I just need a bit more time.”

I was woken up by Cherry, as he gently prodded my chest. “Iron, get up, be quiet.”

I voiced a gentle, questioning hum as I sat up on the bed, rubbing my eyes. I stretched, my back popping in three different places.

I gave him an expectant look, and he clarified, “Neutrals on my EFS.”

As quietly as I could, I stood up from the bed and started putting on my barding. I’d recharged it with some gem packs stolen from New Detrot, but I really hoped I wouldn’t have to rely on it.

The bars weren’t visible on my own EFS yet. Cherry and I had traded PipBucks. He now had the Delta, whose EFS range was vastly superior to my Alpha model. This was in part so that he could take the second night shift as a sentry without leaving the house, but also because I wanted him to have access to SATS. I hadn’t managed to repair that chip on the PipBuck Alpha, and I knew he’d get more out of the spell than I would.

Because we let the fire peter out at night, we weren’t worried about attracting anypony to our precise location. So, it made sense that the night’s second shift went to one of the two ponies who held a PipBuck. They could just stay inside and pay attention to their EFS, instead of patrolling the streets.

So, it had to be either Cherry or I. To me, the choice had seemed obvious, but convincing him had led to some grumbles.

“Should I wake the others?” Cherry asked in a concerned tone. I couldn’t blame him, I was tense as well. We’d stayed here a week longer than originally intended, and now that choice might come back to bite us in the flank.

“Not yet, there’s a good chance the neutrals will just pass us by. Would be dumb to ruin their sleep for a false alarm.” I pulled the last leg of my suit taut and started closing the zipper, carefully avoiding any fur it might catch on. “If the bars appear on my EFS, then it’s a different issue, and we should wake them.”

I closed up my suit, and let the boot sequence run. With my help, Lock had managed to remove some of the checks it made at startup so that it wouldn’t take as long. And also, so that it wouldn’t clutter up my vision with as many pointless log entries.

Cherry and I waited in tense silence, and I pulled him into a hug. I was still groggy, and didn’t have too much to say, especially given the situation. No matter how many times I told myself it was just some travellers passing through, I couldn’t convince myself it was true. Maybe it was because I had something to lose now, but I was scared.

The fact that they were close, and that they were here at such an early time in the day rubbed me the wrong way. This level of coincidence just didn’t bode well.

Another minute passed as we waited. I’d been awake for about two minutes now. So, at most, they’d appeared on Cherry’s EFS three minutes ago. They would disappear from it at any time now. Any time now.

As if on cue, a white bar appeared on my EFS, then another, and a third. No, there was a fourth, but it overlapped with another. Stars damn it all, why did those fuckers just have to come here?

I picked up my harness and started heading to the door. “Go wake the others. Tell Gloam to flank them and back me up. And tell her to not kill anypony until shots are fired. I’ll go and wait in the street, near the crossing.”

Cherry gulped and gave a quick “Okay,” before heading towards the left side of the corridor.

Most likely, it was only a group of scavengers or traders. After all, traffic had slowly started to pick up again over the past month, so it was really no surprise. There was no reason to worry. As long as we took precautions, everything would be fine. In fact, they would simply walk past our location. However, we couldn’t afford to bank on that. I hid behind the nearest house, right next to the street leading up to ours.

If the scavs didn’t walk past, they’d probably understand if I said this is our turf. I’d bluff a bit and say there’s a dozen of us, and they would fuck off. Simple and peaceful as that. I wouldn’t have to get my hooves dirty, and I wouldn’t risk my life.

That wasn’t a worry that usually crossed my mind. I’d never really been scared of dying, at least not past the universal fear that every living creature had. Now that I’d gotten my life back, I found myself thinking about it a lot more often. I didn’t want to leave Cherry behind.

Even once the time came to… join Unity—the thought sent a shiver of disgust down my spine—I wouldn’t really be dead dead. So maybe I would still get something out of my life.

But if I kicked the bucket before that? I’d have nothing. I had real reasons to live now, real reasons to be afraid of death. Things I didn’t want to lose. The thought was especially scary now, given that I still hadn’t fully recovered. I was doing a lot better, but I could tell I was still anaemic.

The vague hope that everything would be alright started evaporating faster and faster, as the neutrals didn’t seem intent on slowing their relentless approach. Now, they were just around the corner of the road, less than a hundred metres away. I didn’t dare look.

I wanted to use telepathy to warn the others, but I wasn’t confident enough with the spell. It required about as much finesse as teleportation, and I would probably light up my surroundings if I poured too much power into it. The soft clank of metallic shoes punctuated every breath I took.

The anticipation was killing me, time seeming to stop as every second stretched out further and further. Every moment that went on was another moment something could go wrong. It took all I had to remain calm, but even then I could still almost count my individual heartbeats.

Time ticked by, uncaring for my plight. What more could I do? Had I thought of everything? Why were they heading here of all places? Would I have to kill them? Could I stop them from hurting the others? Should I just eliminate them and not take a risk?

The questions were piling up, doubts recently buried making their way to the surface. What if I couldn’t avoid my real nature? What if everything I’d felt in the past two weeks was a lie? I was just a raider, so why not solve the issue like I always had? Right now, I could simply run around the corner and gun down a few of them before they had a chance to react. Then, I could teleport behind them and dump the rest of my magazine into the survivors. Instead of reloading, I’d pick up a gun from one of the corpses, and teleport to the other side.

Of course, I had to keep the state of my body in mind. But they were four scavengers, I’d easily end their lives before I even ran out of breath.

Shut up! I shouted at my own brain. I am not doing that. I would try to talk, but teleport to cover at the very first sign of trouble. However, the tension was killing me. Should I walk out now? No, I’d wait for them to trot past, then appear behind them. It wouldn’t be a great sign of good will, but it would be a lot less risky.

Come on, turn the corner already, please stop this fucking tension! They were so close to me, only a few more steps, and—

As if on cue, a familiar voice called out, “Come on, Iron, you don’t need to hide.”

Every single drop of my blood froze in that one instant. I knew that voice. I hadn’t heard it much, but it was burnt into my mind.

All too literally. Another neutral bar flickered on, then off again.

In a panic, I swapped to explosive rounds. Turning the corner, I immediately opened fire. In a brief moment, I saw four alicorns standing in the middle of the road. A gigantic purple one, wearing some kind of reflective barding, surrounded by three green ones. The bullets were stopped by a wall of green and purple magic in what would have been an impressive display of pyrotechnics.

Before seeing if my barrage had any success, I stepped back into cover, scrambling to find the right ammo. Somewhere in my bag, I had three bullets that I’d infused with magic-cancelling spells. They’d taken ages to make, and I still didn’t know if they worked. I thought I’d have more time!

After a few seconds of rummaging around, I found two. That would buy me some time. I didn’t know where the third was, but this would already be a decent start.

Why didn’t I step out of cover? That seemed like a good idea, I had my bullets now.

When I turned the corner again, I saw the four alicorns exactly where they’d been before. I took my time to notice the warm, radioactive glow coming off from the large purple one and especially her armour. I’d forgotten that our bodies could grow when we were properly irradiated.

I didn’t understand why I’d been in such a panic before. They wouldn’t hurt me. They had no reason to. I was too useful to them. They wouldn’t even attack my loved ones.

My loved ones? Right, Cherry and Lock… I was here to protect them. My best interest would be to leave now, so that everything would resolve peacefully.

But then I wouldn’t see Cherry again… It was fine, though, because he would be okay. Something was wrong with that line of thinking. Something was wrong here in general, but I couldn’t quite put my hoof on it.

I couldn’t quite focus on such trivial things, but I didn’t allow myself to falter.

Then, I finally noticed it. The horn of the green alicorn to the left was giving off a mild glow. It took a few seconds to put the puzzle pieces together, but when I did, my raider instinct kicked in. In a flash, I aimed my rifle at her and fired a single shot.

But my world was blurry, as if I was seeing through a plastic film. Almost like I was stuck in a hazmat suit. Not even my magic was exempt from this, so the shot only hit her in the chest.

Immediately, everything grew sharp again as her spell faltered. Wait! I’d hit her! It worked!

Without anything to hamper my aim, I only needed a few fractions of a second to plant a bullet in the right one’s skull.

I immediately jumped back into cover, and a realisation struck me. They weren’t turning hostile, even though I’d just killed one of them. Maybe they weren’t my enemies?

I almost took a few steps towards them before I realised they were using that trick again. Indignation led to anger, and I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood. I couldn’t even trust my own thoughts now?

I’d show them. Fuck thinking, I’d just go by instinct from now on. I chambered my other anti-magic round and started loading more explosive rounds into the now empty magazine.

The green one I’d wounded was still showing up on my EFS. Wasn’t really all that much of a surprise. Even I could probably survive a shot like that, unless it hit my heart or a big artery. So a real alicorn would have even less trouble.

Still, she’d be down for another moment, so maybe I could negotiate my way out of this. They’d probably still be willing to forgive me.

So why was I still reloading my magazine? Probably out of instinct, but there was no reason to continue. No, I had to trust my gut. I didn’t know why, but it was something I had to cling to.

I wanted to turn around the corner again. My innermost self was telling me to gun them all down, and I had to follow that voice. However, the film between the world and my mind grew thicker, my muscles heavier.

But I could think again. It was the only thing I could do, really. Why were they even here? This wasn’t part of the deal!

No, We assure you it was, said a voice in my head. Unlike the previous times, it was obvious she was not me.

We didn’t let you go because We pitied you, another voice joined in.

We allowed you to live so you could learn and be an asset to Us. Yet another one.

However, a fourth voice chimed in. Or was it the fifth? In your current state… Another three. Or four. Or five. We think you have reached your maximum potential. With every word that resonated in my mind, another soul touched mine. They weren’t fully synchronised.

Despite all the noise in my head, I took a step. We were delighted when, in your moment of need, you came to Us and subconsciously begged. If I killed another of the green ones, Big Purple wouldn’t be able to hold the shield. You let Us in, and we helped you save your buck. If I just pushed through the mental fog… Then, We realised exactly how valuable you really are. I stumbled and fell forward, well outside of cover.

They were too loud. They were a cacophony. We were a Choir. They were a house full of noisy children. We were a Home. They were a swarm of glowing bugs in the dark. We were a Sky full of stars, each contributing to the Constellations. They were the splatters of a brain on the wall, chaotic and messy. We were a Mural, beautiful in our Unity.

Some of us were focusing on keeping the New One connected to the main mind. Its tendrils rarely extended all the way to so many of Us, but for the New One it was necessary. She had already cost us so much, but she would be worth it. She would become the fourth, now that she was ready.

All she had to do was kill the two green ones, and she would be free. But where was she? Who was she? How could she move her body? She couldn’t tell.

Suddenly, one of Us dropped. A sharp blade was pushed deep into her neck. The assailant’s horn flashed purple as she poured extra strength into it, cutting open Our sister’s throat in a way that not even an alicorn could recover from. Her magic was strong, but her mind was weak, and she could easily become Our new sister. The other two blue ones would take care of her, but it would be noisy, and maybe scare off the New One.

It would be better if We cut the connection and let Our sisters handle it on their own. We let the tendril detach itself from their minds.

One of us started channelling an extreme distance teleport. We would likely lose these two if we left now, but their bodies would be a sacrifice worth making to take in the New One.

We’d already lost too much on this operation. We should have left her alone. We knew she wasn’t worth it.

No, she was. Her mind was strong enough to change Us, make Us better, but it was weak enough to always act in Our best interest.

But there were others like her. She wasn’t worth it.

We’d paid so much to get her, it would be stupid to stop now!

We would lose more if we didn’t stop this insanity now!

Even with more losses, she would be worth it! The exact way her body partially mutated meant she had a shot at changing our core. Visions of a fourth kind of alicorn filled our mind.

Pink alicorns, capable of chaining together teleports faster than anypony could aim. Sisters that could hold anti-materiel rifles perfectly still. Extensions of Us able to rip apart Our foes with telekinesis alone.

Yes, We didn’t know if it would work, but the potential alone made it a risk worth taking!

But if it didn’t work—

We cut that thought short. If it did work, We could maybe learn to reproduce that phenomenon. We wouldn’t need the Black Book. We could apply the same procedure with a stallion.

This filly was worth it, if only for the opportunity at a chance!

A gunshot, then another, followed by a third and a fourth. Their timing was mechanically precise, each shot impacting Our shield. It was the earth pony male who’d just run out of a side alley. The one We’d saved at the New One’s incessant begging.

Before we had the opportunity to bolster the spell, his buckshot broke through, shattering the shield. Thankfully, he only had one shot left as he fired it into the abdomen of a green one.

The pain was enough for her to drop just enough concentration for her, uh, me to snap out of it. I didn’t have much time. My mind was still foggy, and one of the blue alicorns had already turned her shotgun on Cherry. I couldn’t reach her from here. I’d be too late.

The teleportation spell I was putting together felt like the slowest pattern I’d ever constructed. Pieces came together at an alarmingly slow rate, falling into place like a foal’s first puzzle. And then, I had it!

I released the spell and appeared in front of Cherry. I wouldn’t let him get hurt. I couldn’t.

I found myself staring down the barrel of a shotgun. I knew it was too late. We knew it was too late. The tendril hadn’t taken control of Our sister just yet, and she was pulling the trigger.

I don’t want to die.

It hurt, but it didn’t last long.

I don’t…

Footnote:

All perks lost…

Chapter 36 — Meaning

Meaning

I was staring at Iron in her makeshift coffin. With the upper part of her head covered in an elegant red shawl, she almost looked peaceful. All I could see was the mare I’d fallen in love with, almost asleep. I knew it wasn’t true, but I refused to give that thought any attention. I knew she was gone, but I couldn’t get myself to acknowledge it. Because acknowledging it would make what happened irreversible.

But it already was, wasn’t it?

With her usual scowl gone, and her facial scars hidden, the unfairness of the situation really struck home, and the tears finally started flowing.

After she fell, everything felt so surreal. The alicorns up and left right after killing her, apparently immediately cutting their losses. Or at least that was the only reasonable explanation for what happened.

If it wasn’t for the four dead bodies, it was like nothing happened. In that moment, everything was so quiet.

That point in time would forever remain etched into my mind. Iron was down, everypony was screaming. I was screaming. And yet, everything was quiet. Nothing that happened registered with me. All I could see was Iron, so gruesomely disfigured.

The next few days passed in a blur. For all I knew, weeks could have passed, months maybe. Mentally, I was still in that instant. Even as we built her coffin, I still couldn’t accept any of this as real. Even when Candy and the others found us, I still didn’t wake up, stuck in my nightmare. Maybe because I knew that the truth would be worse.

In a way, my mind could comprehend that she was dead, that she wouldn’t come back. I’d been the one to suggest we make a coffin and give her a proper burial. And yet, something in me just refused to believe it. It was so easy to tell myself that she couldn’t be dead. That Iron simply couldn’t die so easily. That her freaky regeneration would kick in any minute now. That it might not even be her. That it was just somepony that looked like her.

But no, seeing her lying here like this made everything catch up to me. Before I knew it, I found myself sobbing. Next to me, I could hear Candy doing the same.

Candy pulled me into a hug. I barely knew her, but I knew she understood. I held onto her, drenching her coat in my tears as she did to mine. Could I have fixed this? If we’d just run away, everything would have been fine. Just why…

“It’s… it’s so unfair,” I muttered between sobs. “She never wanted any of this. All she ever wanted was to live a normal life.” I turned away from Candy and slammed my hooves. “So why?” I hit the ground again and again, before finally lying down on the muddy snow. “Just… why…”

I broke into another fit of sobs as Candy softly patted my back. After a moment, I lifted my head to face the clouds and screamed at the top of my lungs, “Luna, Celestia, what the fuck did Iron ever do to you?”

I wasn’t making sense, but I didn’t care. I wanted to understand, I wanted to find some meaning behind her death. I wanted to believe that understanding would make it all worthwhile, like it would justify her death or bring her back.

But no.

Iron was gone. Her death was meaningless.

She lay there, in a shoddy wooden coffin. Unmoving, but peaceful.

“Peaceful?” I spat in disgust. “What, am I trying to tell myself that her death is a good thing, because she’s finally at fucking peace?” With my hoof, I hit my forehead as hard as I could, but it still wasn’t anywhere near what I deserved for such a stupid, horrible thought.

When I lifted my hoof again, Candy stopped me. Slowly shaking her head, she just said, “She wouldn’t want this.”

“What else can I do‽ I just don’t understand!” Great, now I was shouting at somepony who didn’t deserve it. I started sobbing again, and Candy held me once more.

She said, “It’s not fair, it’s really not. I wish I could do anything. Turn back time and tell myself to hurry it up. Turn back time and make myself realise things sooner.” She gently patted my back. “But no. I lost her yet again, and this time I’m never getting her back.” She barely contained a sob, and didn’t manage to speak for a while.

Finally, she sighed. “It’s not fair, she was a good filly who was dealt some bad cards, and she lived like she could. She didn’t deserve any of this.”

Hearing somepony else say it hurt even more. This wasn’t just about me. I wasn’t the only one who’d lost somepony they loved. Lock’s eyes were puffy, but she remained quiet. Gloam stared towards the coffin, but her eyes were set far past it. Cotton had tears running down her cheeks, and Grace was crying as well. Even Moonwing had picked up on the mood and seemed a lot more solemn than usual.

If she was such a bad pony, then why were so many others sad to see her go? How was any of this fair?

Over the following weeks, we travelled together, heading west. The atmosphere was heavy, and nopony wanted to be the one to break it.

Once we reached the inhabited parts of western Equestria, Lock and Gloam left. Not a surprise, really. They didn’t really know anypony here outside of our ties to Iron. Apparently, the only place for Lock to return to was Fillydelphia.

I decided to stick around. I knew Grace from before, and had grown familiar with the others. After Snowfeather joined us—much to my displeasure—I managed to convince them to help me look for my family, no matter how cold the trail. In hindsight, it was really more of an excuse to keep my mind off of my grief and process what had happened at a slower pace.

Travelling together, weeks turned into months, months turned into years. At some point, we stopped looking. It wasn’t an active decision or anything, we simply realised one day that we’d stopped asking. It wasn’t an active decision or anything along those lines. After asking in the first few villages, it kind of became a background task, and grew ever less important with each passing month. Then, one day, we simply realised we hadn’t asked anypony about them in a long while.

Much later, after the downfall of Fillydelphia, we met Lock and Gloam once again. Apparently, the two of them had managed to live out a quiet life in that hell some ponies dared call a city. While I had very mixed feelings about Lock’s life as a slaver, I couldn’t help but be at least a little happy for Gloam, whose confidence made her barely recognisable. Best of all? Crow Call had been assassinated in a political plot.

Moonwing in particular had been curious about meeting a pony who’d known her dead aunt better than most of us. Growing up, she somehow ended up with Iron as her role model. Of course, she didn’t look up to the real Iron, just to the idealised version of her that most of us ended up remembering. In the end, she became a hard-working, capable young mare, contrasting starkly with her cousin. Bluestar—now known as Powder Snow—was always on the lazier side. Not that I blamed her; she understood she had a good life and merely wished to enjoy the little things.

Epilogue — Brand New Face, Familiar Town

Brand New Face, Familiar Town

I barely slow my fall as a sharp gust throws me against the building I’ve been hoping to stay the night in.

Wincing, I shake my head and get to my hooves. Folding my wing feels painful, but I can tell nothing is broken. Still, that’s bound to leave a wicked bruise.

Relieved my wing is still functional, I open the door and quickly shuffle inside. The last thing I would want is a cold on top of a banged-up wing. Then again, I just flew thirty minutes in the wind and rain. It won’t be the last thirty seconds that make the difference.

It’s only after stepping inside that I realise that my EFS is populated by four white bars. I swear to Celestia, if I have to go look for another shelter in this weather, I’m going to lose my mind. I hate the Midwest…

“Uh, hello?” I call out. “I don’t mean any harm, I just wanna stay somewhere dry until the storm blows over.”

A pistol floats around the corner, wrapped in a mild yellow glow. A moment later, a buck in his mid-twenties walks out behind it. After taking a look at me and noticing my pistol is still holstered, he lowers the gun slightly and says, “Sorry for the rude welcome, but you know how things are.”

I shrug. “No biggie.” His bar didn’t turn red, so I really wasn’t worried for a second. While some of the features of this old PipBuck don’t work, the EFS sure is reliable and the primary reason I wear it. Now, if only he could lower his gun, that would be just great.

“What were you even doing in a storm like this in such weather?”

A huge sheepish grin spreads on my lips. “Flying. I got lost in thought, and the storm kinda caught me by surprise.”

He blinks at me a few times, mouth ajar. “How does a storm like that catch you by surprise?”

“Mom says I’ve always been like that.” I shrug. “Head in the clouds. Got a lot more literal when I started flying, I guess.”

Immediately, I hear hoofsteps hurriedly run down the corridor. A moment later, a lime green filly with a yellow mane comes to a sliding halt in the middle of the room. She’s an earth pony, almost as tall as me, despite being about a decade younger. Before anypony can say anything, she blubbers, “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! You have wings! Just like mommy!” She stares at them for a moment and furrows her brow. “But they’re so tiny… is it because you’re a filly?”

Yup, I officially hate foals. I give her a strained smile and try to hold back any snide remarks. In the silence that follows, heavy hoofsteps echo throughout the hallway.

Thankfully, before I can say something I would regret, the buck comes to my rescue and says, “Come on, Zestie, that’s terribly rude.” He finally holsters his gun, lowering his head to Zestie’s level. She just pouts and sits down.

“And no, I’m not a filly,” I say. “I just have the optimal size for the most aerodynamic flight.”

That seems to lift her mood a little, that fiendish curiosity returning.

Even though she’s quite irritating, I can’t help but wonder about her. She was born to a pegasus mother, but was definitely born after theDay of Sunshine and Rainbows. So, most likely, her mother is either a dashite or a ground-born pegasus. I hope it’s the latter. I rarely meet my kind of ponies.

Before I can voice any of my thoughts, a green mare walks into the room. To my utter shock, she’s not only gigantic, but also sports a horn and a pair of wings. If that’s the wingspan I’m competing against, no wonder I lost!

But even then, with how huge her body is, she’d need a lot of strength to manoeuvre properly, so I can at least take solace in the fact that I’m a better flyer than her. Probably, at least.

“What’s going on in here?” she asks with an amused smile, before turning to me. “And who might you be?”

“Name’s Moonwing, courier, repairpony, nurse, and all-around jack of all trades. Pleasure to meet you,” I reply with practised ease.

“Courier, eh?” says the stallion. “That why you were flying around these parts, despite the risk of storms?” He frowns and shakes his head. “Where are my manners? I am Rotor Wheel, and this is my daughter Lemon Zest.” He points at the filly who seems intent on eyeing me from every direction.

The alicorn says, “I’m his wife.” She nods over to Zest. “And her surrogate mom. My name’s Glitterdawn. Pleasure to meet you too.” It takes my entire willpower not to burst out laughing at a name like that. It sounds like a stable dweller name, turned up to eleven. I’m pretty sure the only thing keeping me from chuckling is my own name, which isn’t much better. I’m still proud of it, mind you. “Rotor, be a dear and make us some tea, please.”

The stallion nods and walks off into the old kitchen. Glitter sits down on one of the barely-not-ruined couches, moving far more gracefully than a body this large should allow. She nods over to the other one, and I take the hint. Zest seems torn between bothering the stranger and following her father into the other room.

“You’re being too kind, ma’am,” I say. “All I need’s a roof over my head, really.”

“Nonsense.” She shakes her head. “If somepony comes into my abode, temporary as it may be, the least I can do is be a good host.”

Glitter radiates confidence, putting me at ease with her mere presence, and a comfortable silence drapes over us while we wait for tea. Well, relatively comfortable anyway. I’m still sitting in silence on a stranger’s couch.

All the while, Zest keeps watching me with curious eyes. What, has she never seen a pegasus before? Are alicorns really more normal to her than a pegasus? It’s not like pegasi are rare nowadays, not since the day of Sunshine and Rainbows, at least. Eventually, her father calls her over, and she also disappears into the kitchen.

Still, that makes me wonder… “Hey, I hope this isn’t too indiscreet, but, well, how do I put this… How come you’re not with any other alicorns?”

Glitter replies with a cocky smile. “But I’m not alone. My sister’s in the other room, repairing some of the salvage.” She chuckles. “But you’re right in that we don’t appreciate other alicorns much. Clockwork and I had no memories upon leaving Unity, and never really quite got along with the others.” She shrugs. “Only thing we know is that we’re drawn to each other for whatever reason.”

“Ah, that makes sense. Kind of. I never really knew much about alicorns, other than the fact that my other aunt was killed by them.” I grimace, realising I’m definitely over-sharing to a complete stranger who doesn’t care in the slightest about my family’s history. In an attempt to veer the conversation away from my faux pas, I giggle and say, “My uncle probably wouldn’t forgive me if I told him I had tea with an alicorn.”

Glitter chuckles. “There are many ponies like that in the wasteland, even now. My sister tends to think everypony will hate her because of what she is.” Her smile turns to a frown as she shakes her head. “Not that I can blame her.”

Fuck, I managed to make it worse! In the calmest voice I can muster, I mutter, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

Glitter promptly shuts me down. “Don’t worry about it, please. Though let’s change the subject to something lighter. What about your family? It sounds like you have many fun stories about them.”

Well, if she was asking… “Not much coming to mind right now, I’ll say. Half of us ain’t even related. Out of everyone in my family, only grandma, mom, and my aunt share a blood bond. Even my cousin-slash-sister’s adopted. When I was younger, we used to all travel together.”

Glitter gives me a curious look. “How come?”

I just shrug. “I dunno. Ever since Mom and Uncle Cherry founded-slash-revived that one town, it’s just Auntie Snow, my cuz, and I.” I pause for a moment, hesitant to continue. Encouraged by Glitter’s curious smile, I add, “At the moment they’re in the ruins of Las Pegasus, catching up with somepony I cannot bear the sight of.” That pony happens to be my sire, though I’m too disgusted by what he’s done to even accept to speak a word with him. Or mention him to Glitter. “So here I am, delivering letters and exploring the region.”

At that point, Rotor returns into the room, floating three cups and a pot in his telekinesis, Zest following him.

As he pours the tea into the cups, Zest almost immediately starts chirping, “Miss Moonwing, why is your cutie mark not a letter, if you’re a courier?”

Rotor says in a scolding tone, “Zestie…”

To Zest’s credit, she immediately pipes down and mutters, “I’m sorry if that was rude, miss… It’s just that Mommy’s a singer, and her cutie mark is music stuffs, Daddy’s a sca… a scav… a recyclepony and his cutie mark is stuffs he recycles, and Auntie’s a repairpony, and her cutie mark is something very hard to repair…”

She falls quiet for a moment, trying to gauge her parents’ approval. Almost instinctively, my eyes land on Glitter’s cutie mark—some musical symbol surrounded by butterflies.

After a moment without any reprimands from either parent, Zest says to me, “So… Can you please-please-please tell me what your cutie mark means? Pretty please?”

“It’s quite simple, really.” My cutie mark is a crescent moon—waxing, to be exact. “Since I was born in the moonlight and named after it, I spent my early life imagining what it would be like. Then, when I actually saw it, it was so beautiful that it’s been inspiring me to be my very best ever since.” I’m pretty sure there’s no way to say it without sounding at least a little bit pretentious. Oh well.

“Oooooh,” she says in awe. “I wish my cutie mark will be as cool as that.”

Down the main corridor, a door opens, and out walks another alicorn—a messy-maned purple one, this time. Immediately, she catches Zest’s attention. “Auntie! Are you gonna come chat with us?”

Bashful, the mare—Clockwork?—replies, “I was just going for a bathroom break.”

Then, her eyes lock on me, and for a second she seems ready to return into her room.

Glitter calls out to her, “Come on, Clockwork, join us. It would be rude to our guest.”

“Uh…” replies Clockwork. “I…” The next thing I know, she’s back in her room, the door just barely not slammed shut.

Glitter shakes her head in disappointment. “You’ll have to forgive her. She’s not the most social of creatures. She much prefers the company of intricate mechanics to that of fellow ponies.”

Zest mutters something under her breath while the rest of us sit in silence, sipping our respective cups of tea. After about a minute, though, the door to Clockwork’s room opens once again. This time, her mane is perfectly orderly, and she is wearing a dark purple dress matching her own colours stunningly well, flowing all the way down her barrel. If I didn’t know any better, I might have thought she’s just a tall unicorn.

Glitter sighs and rolls her eyes. “Clockwork, you didn’t need to put that on. Our guest already saw you, and she seems fine with me being an alicorn, too.”

I nod. “Yeah, makes no difference to me. I’m used to being treated like less than a pony just ‘cause I’m a pegasus, so I’d be a hypocrite to do the same.”

Clockwork grimaces as she walks towards us. “I… prefer it like that.”

Glitter sighs again. “Fine, have it your way. This is Moonwing, our guest until the tempest subsides.”

“Pleasure to meetcha,” I say with my brightest smile.

“N-nice to meet you, too,” Clockwork replies meekly.

Then, her flank is practically knocked into the wall by an overzealous Zest. She’s standing on her hind legs and lifting the dress to reveal Clockwork’s mark: the open back of a silver pocket watch. “What’s your cutie mark mean, auntie? I thought it was just repairs.” Her eyes go wide. “Were you born near a big clock‽”

“Nothing special, I just like repairing fine mechanics,” Clockwork says in a slightly timid voice, clearly unsure how to handle the filly. I feel you, sister. “Haven’t you seen it before?”

“Yeah but you never explained it! And I didn’t get to really look at it!” By now, Zest’s voice is so loud and high pitched that I have to hold myself back from flinching.

“Zest, calm down.” Glitter raises her voice a little, just enough to get through to the filly. “What’s gotten into you today?”

“I think it’s ‘cause she’s been stuck inside all day,” says Rotor. “I’m gonna take her outside and go for a walk. I’ll use the shield spell to protect us from the rain.”

“But I wanna keep talking about cutie marks!” protests Zest.

“And you’ll get to,” replies Rotor. “But you need to come with me first. It’ll be good for you. A short, fifteen minute walk; my horn can’t really do much more than that, anyway.”

After a bit of grumbling from Zest, the two leave the house. Then, Glitter says, “I should probably heat something up for when they get back.” She turns to me. “And I insist, you’re staying for dinner.”

Before I can reply, she is gone, and the door to the kitchen closed. What a time to be alive. Ponies offering food to strangers would have been completely unthinkable even just three years ago.

And so, I find myself alone with an awkward purple alicorn. We sit in silence, neither of us knowing how to break it. Eventually, a thought does cross my mind. It’s the smallest of small talk, but it’s better than nothing. “You know, I’m sure you’d get along with my uncle Cherry.” Well, if he could overlook that she’s an alicorn, anyway. “His cutie mark is also a pocket watch.”

At that, Clockwork furrows her eyebrows. After she realises I’ve been staring at her in confusion, she just shakes her head. “I’m not surprised. Watches are really nice. I just love how ingenious some of the mechanisms are, how all the pieces work together flawlessly, how elegant they are at achieving that one goal.” By the end of her sentence, she has a gentle smile on her face.

After that, she seems to relax a little, and time passes a lot faster as we start chatting properly. It’s still small talk, but at least it isn’t awkward. When silence washes over us again, I ask, “By the way, sorry if this is a bad thing to ask, but I’m kinda curious about the whole no-memories thing.” She raises an expecting eyebrow. “Well, I’m not sure how to put it… If you have no memories, how come you’re, I dunno, mature? Like, if you only have a few years’ of memories, shouldn’t you be a child, mentally?”

“In theory, I guess, but there are things I just know, even if I never learned them. It’s probably from my time within Unity. The Goddess had some very strong memory spells at her disposal.” She shrugs. “For all I know, she or somepony else might have wiped our minds when she died.”

“You don’t seem to mind. Surely you had a life before this whole alicorn thing, didn’t you?”

Another shrug. “Maybe, but that pony isn’t me. She or he didn’t earn my cutie mark, and I did not live her or his life. My old self is but a stranger now, and while I’m a little curious, I don’t actually care. I’m sure she had ponies who loved her, and ponies she loved, but in the end, they would be nothing but strangers to me.”

Before I can reply, Glitter walks out of the kitchen, smiling. “There. Stew’s on the stove, and it should be ready by the time they’re back.” She walks over to the couch, sitting down next to me. “By the way, Moonwing. You mentioned your relatives founded a town?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, we’ve been looking for a place to call our home. It’s quite a difficult task when your family includes two alicorns. Do you think that town might accept us?”

I nod. “My uncle will need some time to come around, but Mom will make sure you feel welcome.”

Author's Note

Finally the end, huh?
I poured a lot of soul into this story, and I appreciate each and every person who's read all of it.
Thank you for reading,
- Etyco Filly

P.S.: If you care about behind-the-curtain stuff, you can check out the big A/N blogpost I made.
P.P.S.: Art gallery!

November 2024 edit: I've fleshed out this epilogue quite a bit to expand on the hints present.

Chapter 1 — Born in a Cage

Author's Note

Preface:
The genre changes a lot throughout the story. It's a fairly gradual shift, but while the first few chapter are packed with action and more thriller-y, the story eventually leans more into slice-of-life-ish drama (in as far as you can have SoL in a world as deadly as the Equestrian wasteland, that is).

Also, volume 1 is very rough around the edges, clumsy, and often needlessly edgy. Those issues get resolved in the rest of the story, particularly the last one.
I promise I'll eventually revise the 10 first chapters. I'll probably start right when I'm done polishing WOSS.

Chapter 1 — Born in a Cage

Part One

Born in a Cage

I stared blankly at my homework. Ponish sucked. Literature sucked. Writing about literature sucked even more. How was it that a bookworm like me hated the theory behind books so much?

I wondered how the other foals managed. Mother always told me they were beneath me—that’s why I couldn’t play with them. As the overstallion’s filly, I was expected to outperform everypony else, and couldn’t risk having them hold back my abilities.

I was smart. I didn’t feel like it, but if Mother said so, then it had to be true. Unlike the other foals in Stable 4, I was destined for greatness. I’d originally had the school teacher come give me lessons, but Mother decided it wasn’t necessary, that I was fine without him and that she would decide on my lesson plan instead.

If I, a smart pony, struggled with my curriculum, then that meant other foals struggled even more. I found comfort in that thought, maybe even happiness. Whatever it was, it helped me get through life.

I realised that I needed a break from my homework. Desperately. Knowing both my parents were occupied with their jobs I decided to take one now. Using my telekinesis, I pushed my desk till it hit the wall under the vent and grabbed my slippers—they helped muffle the sound of hoofsteps on the thin metal. I floated my office chair up onto the desk and I climbed on it. After using my magic to pull out the vent cover’s loose screws, I pulled the sheet of metal out.

I telekinetically held the office chair in place and used it to climb into the shaft, wincing as I accidentally applied pressure to my bruises. They weren’t that recent, so they didn’t hurt unless I touched them, but they clearly hadn’t healed yet. Once inside, I moved the furniture back into place and slid the metal cover back into the duct, keeping the screws on my side. Somepony could accidentally dislodge it if they hit this wall hard enough, but it was my only option.

I couldn’t get them back into place, but I could at least hide them. It was mostly a precaution for the off-chance that I ever got caught outside my parents’ quarters. If I was able to have them believe I was let out by someone—instead of sneaking out by myself—I’d be able to shift some of the blame off me. And, more importantly, be able to keep my passage into the rest of the stable secret.

Standing at full height in the vent, I started walking towards the intersection, my slippers muffling my already soft steps.

Of course, the plan was to never get caught. But I couldn’t live without a plan B. Too many things could go wrong, in theory. I knew they would never happen, however. My parents took their jobs way too seriously to skip their shifts. On top of that, no one else used the vents to move around, and only maintenance ponies ever opened them.

Stumbling onto one of my mother’s underlings with their heads up in the ducts was actually one of the risks with a higher chance of happening. Thankfully, my PipBuck was able to help me minimise that risk. One of the more interesting features of the sleek white device around my right forehoof was its EFS—Eyes Forward Sparkle. It showed all moving things in a certain range as white bars in my vision. The main downside was that I never knew what storey they were on, though another disadvantage was that it also showed cleaning robots.

Without any particular destination in mind, I turned right.

As far as I knew, most ponies didn’t really use their EFS. In a densely populated stable such as 4, it wasn’t very helpful, as the interface was way too cluttered. For me, however, it had become a mandatory survival tool. I’d learned that if a pony was close-by, then their bar would move faster when I walked past it. I had been using this knowledge to check corners where I thought somepony could be. This had actually saved me from being caught a handful of times. Most of the time, though, it just slowed me down. However, given that I couldn’t allow myself to get caught, being overly cautious was clearly the better option.

I wandered around for a dozen minutes before one of the white bars on my EFS started moving quicker than all others. Since there was no intersection here, I assumed it was either inside a room, or on a different floor entirely. The latter was much likelier than the former, given that all ponies living in this area worked B-shift—which was now. I approached the grate and carefully peeked over.

To my surprise, I spotted Midnight Sonata through an open door down in the hallway. Focused on her work, she didn’t notice me. She was a dark blue filly about my age. Unlike me, she already had her cutie mark—a grey treble clef surrounded by a crescent moon and stars.

Fillies like her, I remembered hearing Mother say, were what happened when you didn’t get as lucky as me. Her family couldn’t afford education past the most basic knowledge, and so she had to pick up a job around the stable at a young age. In her case, it was cleaning ponies’ quarters.

That was one of the worst paying jobs around the stable, as only ponies who couldn’t afford a cleaning robot hired them.

Given her cutie mark, she likely would have made a good musician, maybe great, even. Too bad that future was crossed off for her now.

For some reason, seeing her never filled me with the same glee I usually felt when I saw somepony worse off than me; it helped me cope with how difficult my life was. But whenever I saw her, I couldn’t help but imagine myself in her situation. Maybe it was because she shared part of my name. Whatever the cause may be, I didn’t like seeing her. I decided to move along.

But my thoughts wouldn’t leave her topic alone. I wondered how her name had matched so well with the cutie mark she’d ended up getting. Maybe her parents were musicians and knew she would grow up to become one as well. Well, given that she was poor, her parents were likely mediocre musicians at best.

But then, how come I didn’t inherit my parents’ special talents? I’d tried music. Singing, playing a few different instruments, composing… And nothing caught my attention. I just wasn’t music-y. Or artsy. Or anything else that required creativity.

Mother’s special talent, on the other hoof, was something I was much more interested in. Understanding machines and fixing them felt like a fun puzzle or game. I’d even learned some spells from her books. I knew how to polish pieces using only my magic, and I’d even managed to conjure a pencil from my desk. The spell was normally meant for other tools, like screwdrivers or hammers, but I didn’t have any of those on hoof. It worked like a hyper-specialised teleportation spell. You could only use it on simple tools whose exact location you knew. It also had a fairly unimpressive effective range; more than twenty metres between you and your tool, and it wouldn’t work.

Unfortunately for me, neither the spells nor machines were apparently interesting enough to net me a cutie mark. Mother told me that if by my next birthday I still didn’t have a cutie mark, I would have to take an aptitude test. Those were usually meant for less wealthy citizens who had to start working early in their lives. Not as early as poor Midnight, but still much earlier than I’d ever have to.

I turned another corner. I’d come here to clear my thoughts, not muddy them further. I needed to see adults struggling. Deciding to watch some maintenance ponies at their work, I made my way to the vertical tunnels near the centre of the stable. On my EFS, I could see that a flurry of white bars were near me, but as I peeked into the hallway below, I couldn’t see anypony or robot. This wasn’t very surprising to me, given that I was right above the atrium

Every time I went to the upper levels, I was grateful for the thoughtfulness of the ponies who’d designed this stable. At most vertical sections, a ladder could be found, likely put there in order to help maintenance ponies get at the electronics inside.

I slowly climbed it, careful as to avoid making any noise. I emerged into the large primary vent. In each direction I found a grate that could expose me if I crossed over it recklessly. Because I was still above the atrium, my EFS was nigh useless, and I had to inspect the corridor below by myself. Warily, I peeked over the grate to my right and noticed two ponies below. One was approaching the other, and they made eye contact. Deeming it safe, I kept watching.

I spotted one of the stable technicians working on… something in the wall. I recognised him: Crescent Hammer. I knew all the ponies working under Mother— mostly out of curiosity.

Of course, only a few of them knew me. I was never allowed out of my family’s quarters, after all.

The second buck I didn’t recognise, however. He was a large grey unicorn wearing security barding.

“Hey, Crescent.”

“Hey yourself, Steel Horn. Can’t chat for long today, have lots of work.”

“More than usual?”

“Yeah. The overstallion came to me directly. Was hardcore miffed, claimed I wasn’t working quick enough. I can’t help it though, I work as fast as I can.”

“Fuck dude, that sucks. What even is so pressing?”

“Dunno, he just wants me to install manual overrides in each of the doors, even up here. Shit dude, I shouldn’t be telling you about this. You didn’t hear that from me. Hell, you didn’t hear it at all.”

“I mean, sure thing, bro, but is it that secret?”

“He told me to not tell anypony about it. He was very hush-hush about it, so maybe his wife doesn’t even know, especially since usually she’d be the one giving me orders.” The buck sighed. “To be honest, I’d much rather have Brass yell at me than him. She’s much gentler and much more reasonable with her demands. If she yells at me, I know it’s my fault.”

When Steel Horn started to check his surroundings, I hid before his gaze could wander up, my heart thundering. He kept his tone quiet. “Yeah I getcha, bro. Between the two of us, I feel like she’s also much more competent than him. Almost feel like she shoulda become overmare when they got married.”

“I think she’s just way too dedicated to her job. She likes being head of maintenance too much to step down and take over the more boring bureaucratic stuff. I think she’s also in charge of educating their kid.”

“Could be. But I’d wager the megalomaniac just didn’t accept to marry her unless she promised him he could have the post.”

“I kinda miss the old overmare to be honest,” Crescent Hammer admitted.

“Me too, but after her wife died it was only a matter of time before someone else amassed more money than her.”

Not aching to be reminded of my father, I’d left in the middle of their conversation, but had still heard it echoing until I was back on the residential storey. Lately, complaints about the overstallion were more and more common, while he’d also been more violent towards me than usual. I’d never bothered figuring out the details; I always avoided thinking or hearing of him.

I continued my walk in a big circle around the stable, hoping to eavesdrop on an interesting conversation, one that didn’t involve my father, hopefully. No such luck for me, and after a half hour I’d finally grown bored enough to go back home to write my essay.

As I turned into the vent that led to my room however, I was petrified. I could hear mutters and loud thuds coming from my room. I flattened my body against the floor of the duct, hoping to remain unseen.

“Where the fuck is this little cunt?” Though he tried to keep his voice quiet, fury permeated his every word.

He threw something against a wall, and I could only speculate it was my chair. I swallowed; the sound froze my blood. Could he have heard that? No, no, it was too quiet. There was no way. But what if—

“How the fuck did she even get out of here?”

I could hear it in his tone. He was seething with rage. Madder than he’d ever been. More furious than I’d ever experienced him.

And worst of all, it was with me. I was used to him taking out his general frustrations on me, but I’d rarely been the direct cause for his anger, and certainly never to such an extent. I couldn’t go in there. I wouldn’t come back out alive.

As if reading my mind, he half-muttered, half-screamed, “I’ll fucking kill her.”

It took every last drop of my self-control not to bolt the other way as fast as my legs could carry me. Instead, I slowly pushed myself backwards. I didn’t stand up until every last brain cell was convinced there was no way he could see me.

Even as I turned around, and knew I’d put reasonable distance between him and me, it still took me a considerable amount of effort to not start running.

It was only when I was near the centre of the stable that my thinking deviated from pure fear. I needed to stay hidden until Father’s next shift. Maybe longer. Until his mood calmed. So potentially forever. No, don’t be a fatalist, Iron.

Which meant I needed some money to buy food and drinks from the vending machines. With some luck, I could steal enough bits for a couple of months from Father’s vault. Opening the safe wouldn’t be hard; I knew the combination—535738. However, I would have to return when he wasn’t there. The overstallion worked B-shift, so I would need to wait about twenty hours until he left our quarters.

However, hiding was my priority. From my experiments with my PipBuck, I knew you could track one if you had its tag. I didn’t know whether my father had my tag, but I was not going to bet my life he didn’t. “Always hope for the best, but expect the worst,” Mother’s voice echoed in my mind.

This meant I needed to steal tools from the PipBuck technician’s office. I glanced down at my left foreleg. The white casing looked fragile enough to be broken if bucked by an average adult. Unfortunately for me, I was not an average adult. Truth be told, I was significantly weaker than even the average filly.

Even if I did manage to break it, there was no guarantee the tracking functionality would stop working. I needed to get the entire thing off my leg if I wanted to be completely sure I wouldn’t be tracked.

I decided to head towards the PipBuck technician’s quarters. She was one of the few ponies who knew how to read their EFS, and thus had almost noticed me on more than one occasion. Because of this, I had learned her daily routine. She worked C-shift, and stayed in her quarters that entire time. I presumed she slept during A-shift, and so the only time I needed to be careful of her was during B-shift. Although even then, the reclusive mare sometimes stayed in her quarters. In normal times, that was beneficial to me. Now, however, I was hoping she was out doing… whatever it was that she did.

I turned corner after corner until I arrived near my destination. A hoofful of bars appeared on my EFS in the direction of her room. Only one, however, moved fast enough to be inside her room. I cursed my luck, but decided to take the risk, and approached the shaft entering her room. I cursed my luck again, as I spotted her, reading a book at her desk with tools sprawled out all around it. One of those had to be the one I needed.

It would only be a matter of time before she’d move and notice the immobile, close-by bar on her EFS. With any luck, she’d think I was on a different floor. My luck, however, was not worth counting on, especially when dealing with one of the sharper adults in the stable.

This meant I needed to wait at least twelve hours, possibly more, until she went to bed. Plan A was to hope to Celestia I was sneaky enough to rummage through her tools while she was asleep. Plan B was to wait until B-shift and until she left for breakfast. On its own, plan A was infinitely riskier than plan B. However, since plan B involved more waiting, i.e. more time during which I could get caught, I couldn’t determine which had the better odds.

In either case, I needed to hide for half a day and hope that wasn’t enough time to be found, and I was not improving my chances by staying in the proximity of the EFS-goddess. So I turned around and left.

Since I was back to looking in the direction of the atrium, my vision was full of white bars, and the cluttered interface reminded me of something. That something was the stable’s fourth storey. It was deep in maintenance territory, and not a place I usually visited. Part of the reason was that it was simply scary up there. The lights were even darker than the third floor’s, and an ominous hum could be heard throughout it. More relevantly, however, my PipBuck’s EFS always went haywire there. I’d guessed that the stable’s talismans somehow hampered with the spell matrix of my PipBuck.

That was good. That meant that the tracking spell built into it was likely also going to face interference up there. This meant I had more time, and it also meant the risks of plan B were mitigated. Of course, I wasn’t sure I couldn’t be found up there, but the probability seemed low enough to be worth a try.

Tomorrow, B-shift, I would first steal a couple hundred bits from my father’s safe—not that he would miss them. Then, I would stand by the technician’s room, identify which bar was hers, safely wait until she went to the atrium, borrow her tools, and live forever ever after on the fourth floor. What could possibly go wrong? No! Bad brain! Cancel that thought right now!

I headed upwards, and spent the rest of B-shift walking around the vents and making mental notes on which rooms I could sleep in in the future. I mostly needed a room with easy vent access. Ideally it needed to be quiet, and be rarely accessed by ponies.

I stumbled upon a couple of locked rooms with a control terminal next to them. Those unfortunately also had a security grate locking off the vents that led inside them. Damn those Stable-Tec ponies and their thoughtfulness.

I suspected my father’s credentials could open any of those rooms, and regretted not having paid attention when I’d seen him type them.

As C-shift came around, I decided I would spend the night in a vent. The pair of rooms I’d found in the corner of the stable seemed fine and ticked all my boxes, but I couldn’t tell how often a pony would make their way into them. They certainly seemed unused, but I wasn’t taking any chances. Besides, I remembered that I could only unscrew the vent covers with a screwdriver. I was angry at myself for overlooking such a detail, but it was easily fixed. If I stole a small screwdriver from… anywhere maintenance related, really, I could open any shaft entrance from the inside.

I lay down in a corner of the duct, since that’s where I was least likely to get blown away in case the fans started spinning full throttle. Normally, I went to bed around the middle of C-shift. I’d tried going to sleep at the end of B-shift, but when my father came home angry, he’d wake me up and expect me to come talk to him. If I said anything wrong though, it would be enough to ignite his frustrations and get him to beat me. The worst when he would beat me there—Nope, nope, nope, nope, not thinking about that now. Buzz off, brain. My tail and hindquarters itched. I shook my head, trying to shake off the thought, then pressed my eyes shut.

Luckily for me, all the tumult from the day seemed to have taken a toll on me, and when I turned my attention to my body, feeling how tired I really was, I started to relax. Maybe things will be better tomorrow. Maybe I’m not actually in any danger...

I woke up on a hard surface, with a soft voice calling me. I’d fallen out of bed again, hadn’t I? Too sleepy, I didn’t bother getting back into bed.

The voice, however, insisted.

“Iron Sonata,” a mare called softly.

Couldn’t it wait? I was a little filly, still growing. I needed my sleep.

“Come on, wake up,” the voice said again.

I groaned. This simple physical act shook my whole brain awake, and I very suddenly remembered where I was, and why I was there. Oh. Oh. Ponyfeathers.

My eyes shot open, and I saw a lifted ventilation grate, with a mare’s head poking through. All the other parts of my brain woke up at the same moment as I shrieked and got to my hooves.

Bad Idea. I hit my horn and head hard on the ceiling, and saw the mare’s expression quickly turn to shock and concern, while my own vision rapidly filled with black.

I woke up in a small room, on a soft—oh so soft—bed. This time, I had more time to process my surroundings. I could hear a muffled conversation coming from the vent above me. I remembered what had happened earlier. I recalled the mare’s face and realised that I knew her. She’d been a filly just a few months ago. No, longer. It had been almost a year since I’d last seen her, and her name was Candy Cane.

Well, by that I meant she had only recently started working in security. Before that, I’d seen her in the school quarters. She was also one of the few ponies in 4 I’d actually talked to. Her mother was head of security, and, long ago, she used to visit our quarters quite often, sometimes even bringing her daughter along. She and I had played together a lot, but her stays at our quarters had grown increasingly rare with time. I think I missed her…

I turned my attention in front of me, where I found a glass of water that I happily downed in a few gulps, before looking around the room again. I didn’t know personal quarters enough to figure out whose this was based on looks alone—I was always too cautious to look inside a pony’s personal space if I could help it—but I could imagine this was her living space.

I glanced at the door. Behind it were two white bars. Wanting to confirm the proximity, I bobbed my head left to right. This proved to be a mistake, as pain shot through my entire head, culminating at the back of it. I pressed my eyes shut, waiting for the pain to subside.

When it did, I realised something; with a bit of focus, I could follow the conversation beyond the door—most of the sound came through the vent, really.

I noticed I could understand the conversation held by the two bars behind the door. I decided to listen in and focus.

“So you’re confirming my suspicion; those bruises are not recent, correct?” one voice asked.

“At least half a week old, yes,” the other voice replied. She sounded older and more mature. “I’m also pretty certain your other hunch was also correct, and that she’s been raped, given the position of some of those bruises.”

Raped? Great, a word I didn’t know. My brain itched for a dictionary. Unfortunately for me, however, Candy Cane did not own one.

“What. The. Fuck,” the first voice said again. “Who would do such a thing?”

“Beats me. You’re the security mare, I’m just a doctor. But from what you’ve told me, the overstallion doesn’t sound very innocent. Maybe this will be the final blow we need to exile that useless bastard. If only his wife wasn’t head of maintenance…”

The security mare gasped. “Iodine, don’t you care about the filly at all?”

The older mare chuckled darkly. “Not nearly as much as you, clearly. Look, Candy, there’s more important things than the well-being of one filly. And the overstallion’s incompetence is causing most of them.”

“You callous bitch… Fine, have it your way. Let’s get rid of the overstallion. But know I’m only doing this for Iron Sonata.”

“While I agree with your enthusiasm, we might need more evidence than simply this. We need the filly’s testimony.”

“You’re right, I’ll talk to her when she wakes up. Then I’ll consult with mom and get this done. Do I have your permission to show others the recording of our conversation?”

“Of course. Anything to get rid of the useless pile of trash that dares call itself our overstallion. I knew we shouldn’t have trusted a male to take that role.”

After a presumably awkward silence, the older mare added, “Ugh nevermind, I’m going back to work.”

A dozen seconds later, the door opened, and in walked Candy Cane, the pinkest and softest pony in the stable. I almost couldn’t believe I’d been scared of her a couple of hours prior. I’d spent enough time with her when I was younger that I still remembered her appearance exactly. And, like me, she was a mare that would help lead the stable in the future.

When I said she was the pinkest, I meant it. Her hide was a lavender pink, matching the pink of her striped mane almost exactly. The other colour in her mane was a pinkish white, very close in shade to my own coat. It was long enough to reach her shoulders, and fluffy enough to conceal her compact horn most of the time. Even her eyes followed the pattern, as they were a rich shade of pink, riding the boundary to purple. Her cutie mark was a syringe crossed with a candy cane, the latter’s base wrapped by brown cloth. I still hadn’t asked her why she didn’t work in medical with a mark like that.

Despite her relatively young age, the mare seemed adult in every single way. I could tell she’d adapted to working life very quickly, and even though she exuded the competence of an adult, her eyes were still those of my kind friend.

“Iron, you’re awake,” she said, relief audible in her tone. Candy Cane had been the only pony I’d ever told I disliked being called Sonata, and I was grateful she avoided the name.

“Y-yeah. You scared me earlier.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I was trying so hard to wake you gently and failed miserably.”

“It’s… fine. Head still hurts, though.”

She winced, guilt spreading across her face.

“How did you even find me?” I said, forcefully changing the topic. “Please don’t say PipBuck tag.”

“Nope, your tag was entirely missing. The overstallion talked to me in private during my shift. Said you’d been kidnapped, which sounded like a lie. Since I couldn’t locate your PipBuck, I went to ask Brass Shine about that,” she explained, taking a moment to breathe.

“She told me interference could block the signal, and that this likely meant you were in one of the upper floors. She did say to look in the vents, too.” Candy frowned, continuing, “She also confirmed to me that you hadn’t been kidnapped, but that I should keep that to myself.” She paused and looked at me solemnly, before resuming. Wait, so Mother knew I was sneaking out through the vents? “Then, I combed the fourth floor. Given how much more my PipBuck seemed to hate it there than on the third, I decided it was more likely you’d have chosen that floor.”

“So, now are you gonna drag me back to my father?” I knew the answer to that, but I didn’t like admitting to eavesdropping.

“Maybe. Answer me this first, and please be honest. Who gave you those bruises?” She knew, I knew that she knew. But was I at risk by telling her? What would happen if I denounced him now? Would he get into trouble? Would he just avoid it and then punish me?

Noticing my look, Candy added, “I’ll make sure he gets punished and can’t hurt you ever again. That is, if he’s the one who caused them.” I really needed to get better at hiding my feelings.

I sighed. I knew I was taking a huge risk, but it wasn’t much compared to what he’d do to me if I let this opportunity pass up. “Y-yeah. It was my father… He gave me those bruises…” I muttered, looking at the ground and hoping that somehow being quiet would minimise the risk.

“Thank you, Iron. I’ll make this right, I promise. You just wait here.”

After she left, I waited for several hours, having grown bored after the first ten minutes. She may have been kind, but she didn’t have any books in her quarters. I checked my PipBuck. It was B-shift again. Five hours and fifty-three minutes had gone by since the pink security mare had left me alone, and I needed a walk.

I stared at the vent in her room. The odds of the screws on that being loose were pretty low, but I tried my telekinesis anyway. As I suspected, they stayed tightly put as my magic pushed on them.

I went back to waiting.

But fifteen minutes later, the boredom got the best of me, and I was back at it. This time, I was standing on her desk, looking closely at the screw, and focusing my push on the angles where a screwdriver would normally push.

I’d never attempted something as precise with my telekinesis, but I had time to waste. My headache wasn’t making it easy, but the idea of going back to boredom kept me motivated. I redoubled my focus, and, after a long while, the screw budged. It had taken every last bit of my focus, but I’d managed. The rest of it was easy in comparison.

My head was slightly aching from the prolonged concentration, and I decided to take a break to breathe. It wasn’t like I was in a hurry. I just wanted to escape the boredom.

Said boredom only needed a few minutes to settle back in, and before I knew it, I was fidgeting another screw with my magic. This time, I had the trick to it, and the screw came out much quicker. Next screw even quicker, and the last was barely even a challenge.

I levitated the cover off and climbed inside. I didn’t bother closing the vent behind me, because I was planning on being back before Candy anyway.

Of course, this meant staying around her quarters as I went on my walk. I decided to seek out ponies and maybe catch some gossip or news of any kind. A few minutes later, I found a pair walking down the hallway.

“I’m telling you, I saw them lead him out of the stable.”

“No like, I believe you, but it’s still so shocking. He wasn’t very good at his job, but I didn’t think they’d just… impeach him like that…” Impeach? I cursed my PipBuck for not having a dictionary.

“I dunno, maybe they’ll give us more reason later. It’s not every day that they just throw out the overmare. Or overstallion, I guess.”

So they had already exiled my father? I needed to check that for myself. Or find Candy Cane and ask her. I determined that the best place to check was my family’s quarters. Even if he was still in the stable, he was likely not at home during B-shift, and maybe I’d find a clue.

I made my way there. If my father was really gone, I had no real reason to stay in the vents. But I didn’t wanna risk it. Besides, I’d likely catch weird looks, since nopony knew me. Right as I arrived, the speakers sounded, and a voice said:

“Everypony with stable employment, please make your way to the atrium. We will be making an important announcement.”

Didn’t concern me. I ignored it. I checked around the small pseudo-apartment, but nopony was home. That had to be a good sign.

I spotted a small cassette on the living room table, as well as a note. I recognised the former as something my PipBuck could read, so I inserted it into the slot at the front of the device. My father’s voice started playing:

“Sonata, you need to do something for me. I’m currently being escorted out of the stable, and I don’t have a lot of time until they come back for me. Brass Shine has also left, and she took the money with her. I’m just worried she didn’t take a gun with her, and I fear we need one to survive out there. You need to sneak into the armoury, and take some guns and ammunition. You might be able to still use my password to get into it. If not, you’ll need to improvise. My username is concerto, and my password is ConcertoTheGreat, the c, t, and g capitals and the rest small. I need to go now, and you need to do this for me. Please, it’s important.” His voice sounded stressed, as he spoke quietly but fast.

Mother was out there as well? I didn’t know what to think. The rational part of my brain told me to just let him rot, and hope for the best for her. The less rational part of my brain was yelling at me for even considering that. They were my parents, and I had to help them. If I didn’t, Mother would be all alone with him. And even with all his faults, could I really abandon him? He did beat me, but was that really enough to leave him to die? He was the overstallion, after all. I couldn’t blame him for being so stressed with a job like that…

But most importantly, Mother was out there as well. Why would she leave? Was he lying? One look at the note confirmed what he’d said; Mother said she felt guilty for letting him hurt me like that, and that she was leaving the stable as punishment. This settled things. No matter what he’d done to me, I couldn’t just leave them to die. Besides, now that he wasn’t the overstallion anymore, he’d be less stressed, and wouldn’t hit me anymore.

I went into his room and opened his vault, looking for confirmation. Just as he’d said, it was completely empty.

So I would be all alone? That was “making things right”? Separating me from my parents‽

I trotted over to my mum’s room, and found a couple of screwdrivers on her desk. I picked up the smallest, as it seemed to be the only one that seemed to be able to fit through the grates covering the vents.

Screwdriver in my mouth, I walked back to my room and climbed back into the vent and went to the ground floor, and headed towards the security quarters.

Luckily for me, the area seemed empty. That, however, was where my luck ended. As expected, the only way into the armoury was through the front door, as the vent itself was closed off by a metal grate with no screws attached. I probably could open it by removing the screws holding it in place. But to access those, I likely would have to disassemble the whole duct around it.

I moved to a vent overlooking the room that led into the armoury. I needed to get down there and open the door with the terminal. This meant I had to do the incredibly tedious task of opening this vent from the inside… I floated the screwdriver between the grate’s thin bars. Since I couldn’t see the screw, my telekinesis needed to be significantly more precise.

I focused my magic on the tool. Given my headache, this proved difficult. As I concentrated further, my red magic enveloped it entirely, and I applied torque.

My magic fizzled as I lost focus, and the utensil fell a few centimetres until I caught it. I tried again, and failed. The cycle continued for another three attempts, until my spell failed so spectacularly that a bout of pain burst in my head, and the screwdriver fell to the floor. I didn’t know telekinesis could fail like that.

I took a deep breath and made another attempt. I managed to firmly grab the screwdriver and press it into the cross, and started turning. The screw sat calmly, seemingly unaffected by the torque I was exerting on it.

I redoubled my efforts, and my horn flared brightly, illuminating the dim duct shaft in angry crimson. The screw budged, then came out completely, before falling to the ground. I couldn’t imagine how hard it would have been to do this without a screwdriver… I think that screw would have been a pain regardless of visibility.

My head throbbed, but that didn’t stop me. I turned my attention to the screw right above that one. Unlike the first one, this one didn’t pose any challenge whatsoever.

The third screw proved challenging again. My magic fizzled twice, but the third time proved to be the charm, as I managed to pull it out with just a single push.

The last screw showed similarly low resistance as the second one.

With the cover loose, I entered the room through the open conduit. I’d already lost enough time opening the cover, so I didn’t move any furniture to walk on. I exited the vent, and attempted to levitate myself on my way down.

I only managed to slow my fall a little, but enough to be able to land on my four hooves. Still, I’d been dangerously close to falling flat on my face. What was it with me and making poor decisions lately?

I walked to the terminal, clicked it on, and it greeted me with “Stable-Tec terminal. Please issue your stable_4 username and password.” I entered my father’s credentials. The terminal gave me three options. “Unlock door”, “Unlock maintenance vent”, and “Exit”. I selected the first, and heard a hiss from the door. I clicked the second option, and then logged out of the terminal. Once inside the armoury, I used the terminal inside to lock myself in.

The shelves were full to the brim with guns. Some long, some short, some wide, some thin. They were marvels of mechanical engineering. So many moving parts, so many screws. Guns were seriously cool…

Snapping out of my awe, I decided to pick up a few and look at them closer. I didn’t know which to pick, so instead I opted for two guns. One short, light one—fairly certain it was a “pistol”. And a longer, wider, and much heavier one. I didn’t know what it was. I levitated up the pistol and inspected it in detail. A cylinder placed in the centre of the weapon protruded from both sides. At the back, a spring-loaded mechanism could be found. It seemed to be made to hit the back of the gun, like some sort of hammer. Two small levers were also on the left side, as well as text that read “Model 6520”. One of the lever-switches was set to “Safe”, whatever that meant, and the other didn’t have any labelling. I pressed the trigger, and watched as the little hammer cranked back, and then rapidly snapped into place. I loved this thing.

I put the gun down, and as much as I wanted to inspect the bigger one, I forced myself to look around the room for ammunition, and found boxes full of bullets on the left shelf. No matter how hard I looked, none of them seemed to fit into the pistol. I got lucky with the bigger gun, and found some cylinders that fit into the opening on the bottom.

The large opening underneath the pistol seemed made to hold… Something bigger. Maybe something that could itself hold bullets? I looked around the room once more, this time not even knowing what I was looking for. I noticed something I recognised as barding, but none that would fit me, and I wouldn’t be able to carry it out for my father. Next to the armour, I saw a strange arrangement of straps. It seemed made to hold weapons. Putting it on, I adjusted the straps.

I checked my PipBuck, curious to see if that was enough to change the “Inventory” tab’s content. To my delight, it did. It simply read “Military weapon harness”. That was progress, as it had always otherwise been empty. Glad to finally get it out of my mouth, I put the screwdriver into my left pocket.

Finally, I found some other metal objects, seemingly made to fit into guns. I compared the metal… things with the hole at the bottom of the gun. Finally, I found one that fit into the pistol. I figured it would be a good idea to have two of them.

I rummaged around for ammunition that could fit in it, then filled both of them and took twenty spare bullets and placed them in the right pouch on my harness. Full of cartridges, the two… things—I really needed to figure out what they were called—were much heavier than originally. I inserted one into the pistol, making the unlabelled lever click, then I strapped the other bullet-holder to my harness.

I checked my PipBuck. Maybe it would somehow give me a better name than “bullet-holder” for them. The screen’s white letters informed me that the pistol was in fact a 10 millimetre pistol, and that I had a spare “magazine” full of 10 millimetre rounds. So that’s what it was. A magazine.

After strapping my 10-mil to my side, I filled my left pouch with twenty cylinders, and strapped the big gun to my back.

I checked my PipBuck again. The big gun was apparently a “shotgun”. Aren’t they all guns that shoot, though? The cylinders were referred to as “buckshot shell, 20 gauge”.

Having decided I had everything I needed, I used the workbench to my right as a stepping stone, knocking a book off it. Then I clumsily struggled to climb up the shelf, and in front of the vent. From this side, the screws holding the cover would pose not even the slightest challenge, hopefully, so I decided to unscrew them using only telekinesis. I was getting good at this.

I found myself in the ventilation system again, and looked down to pick up the cover. Instead, the book I’d knocked down previously caught my attention. ‘The Mechanical Marvels of Firearms’ read the cover, illustrated with a weapon. It couldn’t hurt to have resources to understand the things I’d picked up, could it? I put the book into my left pouch, and before I could feel uncomfortable from the weight imbalance, I felt it shift, and noticed my ammunition had moved to my right pouch. Right, probably my PipBuck. I think I remember something about an inventory organising spell. Convenient.

Next, I needed to get to the stable door. Reaching the door’s general vicinity would not be an issue, and neither would be opening it. I had the overstallion’s credentials, after all. My issue was getting out of the vent. I didn’t know if I could manage to open another cover from the inside.

I considered my options. I could just walk there. Buuuut I was armed from head to hoof, and I’d likely catch too much attention, and end up stuck. Being in Security, I was close enough to the exit that making a run for it wouldn’t be impossible. But I still didn’t like my odds.

What if I combined approaches, though? I could bring my guns to a vent near the door, then walk through the halls to the vent, and open it from the outside and levitate out my things.

That sounded like a solid backup plan. I made my way to the exit, following my PipBuck’s map. As I’d feared, the vent’s screws were held in place tightly. Moreover, it was high up from the ground. While I suspected I could eventually unlock the vent from inside with enough fiddling, this was much higher up than before, and I was not going to jump so far down.

Maybe a cleaning closet would be a better place to stash my things? I wondered. Making my way through the vents I found one, where I unstrapped my harness, leaving it near the edge of the duct grate, so that nopony on the floor inside the closet would see it.

I walked back to security, and made sure the halls were as exceptionally empty as they’d been for the past hour. Maybe I didn’t even need to take this back-and-forth route. Eh, better safe than sorry. I exited the vent in the armoury after checking nopony was in the meetings room.

I didn’t encounter a single pony on my way to the exit, and the vast majority of white bars were in the direction of the atrium, confirming my theory.

I arrived at the cleaning closet, and made sure nopony was around. I climbed the shelves, careful not to lose my balance. I unscrewed the vent cover where I’d previously left my harness, and levitated it out of the duct and down onto the stable floor. I followed suit, almost falling flat on my face. Back on the ground, I untangled the straps and put it on.

My exit from the stable was about as unceremonial as you could get. I unlocked the terminal, opened the door, and stepped out. The door closed behind me with a clang as I walked into the dimly lit cave on the other side.

“Sonata? Is that you?” My father’s voice resounded in the large empty space. A few moments later, he stepped into view, then approached me.

“Thank Celestia, you brought guns. I’ve been out here for an hour, and I haven’t seen a sign of your mother! I think we were tricked, especially since they immediately changed the password after I walked out.” That’s odd, his password worked for me. “At least you’re loyal to me. You wouldn’t betray me like her. Brass is nowhere to be seen; she knew I’d get thrown out, but didn’t even bother to wait for me!” Well, didn’t that make sense? She’s left because of what you did to me… “Give me the guns, now. We also don’t have much food, so we’re gonna have to ration.”

The fact that she had left without me stung. She had always been good to me. She had given me my education, my everything. All that I’d brought in return was disappointment. Could I really blame her for finally giving up on her greatest failure? I was too stupid, too lazy. In fact, that was the cause for this entire mess. If I had kept working instead of walking around the vents, none of this would have happened!

While I was lost in thought, my father walked up to me, and said something.

Still, we had to find her. The outside was dangerous, and she might die. I had only disappointed her so far, but I would be damned if I let her die. This was a turning point for me. It had to be.

“Sonata, you little bitch, listen when I talk to you!” he screamed in a tone I knew too well.

“I… I’m sorry! I was thinking about finding Mother, and how we would need to go about it, and—”

He hit me.

I was on the ground, gasping for air as my bruised rib throbbed. A moment later, the pain in my cheek joined in. Tears threatening to well over, I rubbed my cheek. Crying would only make him angrier. It was my fault, anyway. I should have listened when he spoke.

“I don’t care about that fucking cunt. She abandoned us.” He scoffed. “Now give me the guns before I take them from you.” Air caught in my throat.

For a few agonising seconds, I remained frozen. I lit my horn, trying to undo the straps holding the pistol. My magic fizzled out once, twice, thrice, before my father’s impatient grunt chilled me to the bone. I poured everything I had into my telekinesis; a needle pierced my skull, but the strap came loose.

I lifted the gun with my horn. The pistol pointed forward; a delightful, horrifying thought froze my blood. I stared ahead, past my father, past the wall. A simple solution. An idea so soothing it stopped the world around me.

No! I couldn’t! He was my father. He had given me life, given me everything I had!

“Can you stop daydreaming for half a second? Or do you need me to snap you out of it again?”

His threats clicked the last pieces into place. I owed him nothing. Mother had been the one to give me what I had. Mother deserved my respect. Mother would want him dead.

I pointed the gun at him. His sneer melted into shock. “Hey, watch where you’re aiming!” I stared at him, my mouth slowly curling into a smile. “Think about what you’re doing!” He took a step back. “You can’t shoot me, you won’t survive out here!”

Hearing him plead for once filled me with joy; had I ever felt such elation before? I was ecstatic! He continued to shrink back; the wider my grin, the wider his eyes.

“P-please don’t do this!” Sheer terror filled his eyes as he begged for his life, tears starting to trickle down his cheeks. “I know I’ve not always been the best father, but I promise I’ll be here for you now! Together we can survive, even out here! I’m sorry, I’ll do better, I promise! I swear!” He nigh whimpered, “Just… please don’t kill me…”

My smile fell. What was I doing? Until I found Mother, he was my only remaining family.

Even putting aside morals, he had a point. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into; his help would only improve my odds of survival.

This might even be the chance to make up with him and properly become father and daughter. Our opportunity to fix it all. Now that he was no longer the overstallion, we could spend more time together. If I was careful, I’d manage to avoid angering him.

And live in constant fear? No. I pulled the trigger.

And… Nothing. The pistol just clicked harmlessly. His expression turned from despair, to panic, to confusion, before gradually becoming amused. He laughed, the sound echoing throughout the cave. “You don’t even know how to use a pistol without me!”

How could this be? I had loaded all the bullets! What was I missing?

Once again, he was walking towards me. His step was urgent. He hid it well, but he was still afraid. He knew I was close!

My mind flashed to the inspection session I’d had in the armoury, and the little pin set to “safe”. Of course, a safety mechanism! My telekinesis clicked it on the other notch. Those things were dangerous, of course they would have fail-safes!

My father’s eyes went wide. He broke into a canter, but I lifted the pistol to head and pulled the trigger before he could reach me.

The pistol roared delightfully; my ears rang. My telekinesis flared as the recoil pushed the gun back. The internal mechanisms tickled my magic; the clicks sent a shiver down my spine.

Guns were so cool…

I observed in morbid fascination as chunks of his brain splattered the cave’s ceiling, painting a gorgeous pattern resembling a constellation of red, six-pointed stars. I marvelled at the beauty of the sight before me, watching the liquid drip from the ceiling.

Drip down onto his corpse. I had just killed my father.

I giggled, loud and shrill, tears welling in my eyes. My manic laugh was sometimes broken by a sob. I had done it. I was free.

For how long had I been repressing those thoughts? The fire of rebellion had been smothered by his hooves until now.

Not anymore. He would no longer tell me what to do; he would no longer control me, no longer hurt me! I was free! As long as I had a gun, I would make sure nopony else could take my freedom.

I would end the life of anyone getting in the way of mine.

I breathed a final sigh as my maniacal laughter calmed down.

Something was off. An odd tingling near my hind quarters. Was I injured when I fell? I turned my head, expecting a wound.

Instead, I was greeted by an image of a long gun surrounded by red stars and held afloat by black wings. My cutie mark.

Footnote:

Perk Refreshed – Telekinetic Precision: You’ve got a steady horn on your head for fine manipulation using your telekinesis.

Author’s note: A friend of mine composed a piece inspired by this chapter. You can find it here.

Edit: I've gone ahead and removed one of her perks in the footnote. It was too on the nose and ultimately didn't fit the tone of the story. Perks should be fun little references, but they shouldn't tell you how to interpret the fic.

2023 edit: Patricide scene got a major rewrite. Changes Iron’s characterisation a bit, but nothing too drastic.

Special thanks to my editor, EverfreePony!

Chapter 6 — New Faces

Chapter 6 — New Faces

Chapter 6: New Faces

I woke up from my short nap, and it took me a moment to remember where I was. To my left, the IV bag that had been dripping into me was now empty. Curious, I checked my PipBuck and confirmed that my radiation levels had dropped. This explained why I felt so much better now.

Candy had insisted we visit the doctor after we’d found out there was one in New Detrot. She’d been worried about my radiation levels ever since she’d seen what my PipBuck said about it.

The room was incredibly clean, for wasteland standards. It even compared admirably to the average room back in the stable.

When we’d arrived at the clinic, about five minutes away from the train station, we were greeted by the unicorn ghoul doctor who worked there. We were warned about her appearance by Gust, but seeing her nearly sent me into a fit of panic regardless, even though I knew she was friendly. I was still wondering what was wrong with me.

In the adjacent room, I could hear the doctor talking to Candy in her raspy ghoul voice. “If I could afford it, I would absolutely take you in to train under me full time. As things stand, I couldn’t really compensate you for your work. Of course, if you find the time to help out, I’d more than appreciate your time.” She let out a sound I could only assume was a sigh. “I’ve been meaning to get a new trainee for a while, but it’s gonna be hard if I can’t pay you. If we had more ponies around here, I’m sure I could convince Gust to fund your training.”

“I understand.” Candy sounded dejected. “I’ll try to volunteer when I can, but I can’t guarantee anything. The past few days have been harsh for me and Iron, and making ends meet is hard when all you can really do is run errands.”

It had turned out that even dirty water was fairly expensive, and that well-paying jobs were rare. Ponies just didn’t have many errands they needed run. If you pressed them, they’d remember something that could be done, but were never willing to pay that much for it.

The jobs on the notice board were all either just as cheap, or simply too dangerous for us to attempt.

Of course, I’d suggested we could go after some bounties.

But as expected, Candy shot down that idea.

At first, I couldn’t quite understand why. She’d understood when I killed the raiders, so I didn’t understand why killing other bad ponies wasn’t a good thing in general.

She replied that at best she was still very uncomfortable taking on a job that involved another pony. She didn’t want to play executioner. That not everypony with a bounty on their head was guilty of their crime, and Gust had confirmed that. Besides, it was dangerous.

I ended up reluctantly agreeing and cursed how complicated morality was outside the stable. Back inside it was simple; if it brought prosperity or stability to the stable, it was good, if it did the opposite, it was bad.

I later asked Candy for clarification on why she’d praised me for killing the raiders, if she thought killing was bad.

She explained that she was proud that my actions helped other ponies, but that she herself preferred avoiding murder; that she never wanted to have it become a routine for her or me. I was satisfied with that explanation. I understood why getting used to killing was such a horrible thought to her; I myself had been shocked at my willingness to shoot Stockpile because he might have been an enemy.

I was snapped out of my reverie by Radheart, the doctor, walking into the room. Noticing that I was awake, she said, “Oh, looks like she’s up.”

Candy walked into the room, and the ghoul removed the needle from my foreleg, placing a bandaid where it had been. We were ready now to go on our way. I moved towards my saddlebags, but Radheart cleared her throat and rasped, “Before you two go… let me give you the piece of advice I try to give to everypony: Find your virtue and live by it.” My virtue? As in one of the six virtues attached to the Elements? I was fairly certain Magic loosely fit me, given how strong my horn was. Then again, I didn’t like magic; did that still count? I didn’t dislike it either.

“What do you mean by that?” Candy asked. “What even is a virtue in this context?” Right, the virtues attached to the Elements were considered advanced material, so it made sense Candy wouldn’t know about them.

“A virtue is what defines you at your core. In the wasteland, it’s all you can cling to when life gets tough. The one thing that lets you stick to your sense of self and, by extension, your sanity,” the ghoul explained.

“Does it have to be one of the six?” I inquired, hoping to gain some recognition for my knowledge. Candy raised an eyebrow, while Radheart looked pleasantly surprised.

“No, it can be any virtue. Mine’s Confidence,” the doctor proudly admitted.

Candy opened her mouth, then hesitated for a moment, before asking, “How do I find it? Is there some sort of trick to it?”

“That’s the hard part. You have to find it for yourself.”

I chipped in, “Isn’t your virtue Kindness, Candy?” She fit the role perfectly, did she not?

She just shook her head. “No, not everything I think is kind.”

“I don’t think that matters,” interjected Radheart, “you are not your thoughts; only your actions define you.” That was a relief. Mostly.

“Hmm. I still don’t think it fits me that well.”

“I understand,” Radheart replied. I had a hard time thinking of a virtue for myself. Magic clearly wasn’t it, and I doubted confidence matched either. If only I had some sort of grand list of virtues I could read through until I found mine. “One more thing. Once you find your virtue, cling to it and cling to your friends. Your sanity depends on it.” She smiled at us, a confusingly comforting sight, given how ugly she was. “I’ll leave you be now. Have a great day. If you ever need any life advice, feel free to stop by!”

I picked up my saddlebags with my teeth—my magic still wasn’t back. According to Candy, it would take a while before I could use it again. The next few weeks would not be fun.

We walked out and found where we’d hidden the wagon and started moving towards the Foal Mountain train station. Our plan was to take the electric heater we’d left behind, and start using it at night to keep ourselves warm. Slowly, this cart we’d so gladly taken from quite possibly the most evil pony I would ever meet, was turning into our new home, as we did our best to make it our own.

I was levitating my rifle in front of me, concentrating on keeping it steady as part of my daily practice, while my mind roamed freely. Occasionally, my attention would wander to my EFS, which stayed empty, save for Candy’s marker.

The past three weeks had been above average. We were two days west of New Detrot, and a day west of Marey Junction. The latter was the last named settlement along the green metro line. Everywhere else along that line, you would occasionally find a small group of ponies living on their own in the ruins.

Most were scavengers and prospectors, living off the things they found and needed and selling off everything else. They’d chosen to live this far north because raiders and bandits weren’t as common, and a peaceful, albeit harsh, life awaited most ponies here.

Some, in the few named settlements, had other jobs. Some were guards or other types of hired guns, while others ran inns or bars. Doctors were few and far between, but there were at least two that I knew of. Others still had occupations that Candy had been too flustered to describe.

Meanwhile, Candy and I had become some of the local errand fillies. We accepted most types of jobs. Deliver a message or letter, pick up some ingredients for healing potions from a nearby town—mostly small gems to act as catalysts for healing magic. I didn’t understand the details of the spell, but they were apparently needed to put healing spells into a fluid form. We would also help carry some heavy things. Anything ponies were willing to pay us for, really.

However, over the course of the few weeks, I’d started noticing some odd moments. Some days, I would lose control of my body like I had at Double Shot’s bar. Sometimes for a few hours, sometimes for the entire day. It really was like a memory orb of my own self.

Our latest job had involved delivering a package to somepony’s relative. Every once in a while, we would encounter a feral ghoul or two. They almost never posed any threat, once I got my magic back. Prior to that, there had been scares with me missing shots on the undead beasts, but luckily Candy was always able to protect me.

She and I had bought some cheap paper that I could use for target practice, and I’d spent a significant portion of my free time practising my markspony skills. Though the limiting factor to how much I was able to train remained the cost of ammunition, despite .22LR rounds being comparatively cheap. Getting accustomed to aiming with my hooves was a doozy, and I was never able to get very tight groupings. Lying down helped, but even then, my hold on the rifle just wasn’t as precise as with my telekinesis. How on Equus did earth ponies do this? Did they even use rifles, or did they stick to muzzleguns?

Naturally, when my horn eventually—finally—recovered, I was thrilled to practise with my magic as well. My groupings were now so tight that I was genuinely surprised. Had my aim improved across the board, or had I always been this good but never known it? I doubted the latter, though the former didn’t explain the whole picture either. I’d certainly gotten better at understanding where my shot would land based on my iron sights’ position, but I had a hard time imagining that this alone made me so good at aiming.

As for my firearm’s condition, I’d repaired it a fortnight ago. In hindsight, I should have waited until my horn had recovered, as replacing the damaged parts had proven to be a nightmare without the fine motor skills of my magic. Luckily, I understood the weapon well enough that even though it took several hours, I had still managed to put it back together. It was now in much better overall condition than ever before—and my PipBuck agreed!

However, when I did regain my magic, I also started regularly polishing the gun. Once I was sure my horn wouldn’t give out, I tried to reach that state of telekinetic hypersensitivity again, this time in order to find the irregularities in the metal, and then polish them away on a very small scale. This turned out very effective, as the gun was starting to look close to new. Stars, I love guns and taking care of them.

I holstered my rifle and turned around to notice Candy watching me with a serene smile, which I returned. She then asked, “Are you ready? We should try to get back to ND as soon as we can.” I nodded.

We were walking towards the eastern side of New Detrot. It had been fairly big prior to the megaspells, but now only a few ponies lived in the ghost town. Throughout our errands, the two of us had proven adept enough at killing ghouls, to the point that Gust had decided to hire us specifically to get rid of a flock of ferals that had attacked travellers near the town’s outskirts.

Candy had hesitated at first, talking about the danger, but both Gust and I had managed to convince her. Still, he sent a mercenary along with us just to make sure the job would get done. Or maybe he was concerned for us, but I doubted that; he was too serious a business-bird to care.

I realised that this technically made us mercenaries as well, and that maybe this fact had caused Candy to hesitate a little as well. Though I figured that clearing a pack of ghouls was far enough removed from the idea of bounty hunting that she was alright with it.

Gale, who’d been walking next to us, stopped and spoke up, “We’re getting close to the place. I’ll fly up and scout ahead.”

Less than a minute later, she returned, and we talked through a plan. We had a tall building that would act as the perfect vantage point for Gale and I, though she would back Candy up on the ground if things got heated. Meanwhile, I had no reason to leave the safety of the mall roof.

I momentarily wondered why Gale couldn’t just shoot from an airborne vantage point, but realised how impossibly difficult it would be to aim while flapping your wings. If anything, she’d need to glide circles around the pack, and that would leave her in an optimal firing position only once per revolution. It would probably work fairly well against opponents who could shoot back—she could minimise the likelihood of getting hit thanks to flying manoeuvres. As it stood, however, staying on the roof was clearly the best strategy.

I started walking towards the building’s front entrance when the griffin called out, “Don’t bother, I can just fly you up.”

I agreed and undid my saddlebags, and she grabbed my barrel under my forelegs, before lifting me into the air. The short flight felt… exhilarating. I giggled gleefully as I was transported through the air. Only when my eyes wandered downward did I feel the sudden but visceral fear of plummeting to the ground. Thankfully, by that point we were already almost on the roof.

The griffin pointed down the road, and I could see a group of—I took a moment to count them—twenty or so ghouls, about seventy metres away. That was a distance I wasn’t perfectly comfortable sniping from just yet. One hundred metres practice left me with a spread that was less than ideal for live targets, especially given how much easier it was to aim at a stationary target. I was to give the first shot—likely because Gale didn’t trust me to be very useful once they started moving. And I wanted to prove her wrong.

I adjusted my iron sights to the fifty metre notch, and the griffin gave me a look that unambiguously said “take your time, kiddo”. This was one of the few good occasions where taking a mint was justified. I levitated the box out of my harness’ pocket—much better spot to keep them than my saddlebags—and placed it on my tongue.

Gale was staring at me with an expression that reminded me of Airwaves’ a few weeks back. Shocked and perplexed, but also apparently uncomfortable. However, as I challenged her judging gaze, she didn’t voice her thoughts and just looked away. This was something I would need to ask Candy about.

Growing impatient, and feeling that everyone was waiting for me, I started chewing on the piece of candy until all of it had melted in my mouth. It felt like a waste to eat it this quickly and not take the time to enjoy the taste, but I was already starting to feel the effects.

I levitated out my rifle and momentarily marvelled at how stable my telekinesis felt under the effects of the sugar rush. Then I pointed it at the mob of ghouls, aiming for the head of the closest one. Now that I was paying closer attention to the pack, I noticed the one in the middle seemed to glow a slight neon green colour. I adjusted my aim to its head instead, then channelled more power into my magic.

My experience in the metro, as well as later during practice, had taught me that controlling recoil helped me aim faster, and holding the rifle almost perfectly still improved my accuracy.

I pulled the trigger and watched as bright fluid erupted from the ghoul’s head. To my utter surprise, however, it kept moving. And move it did. The entire flock turned towards me and started to gallop. Next to me, Gale whispered, “Nice shot…”

I followed the glowy one with my iron sights, and when the opportunity presented itself, I shot again. This time, it fell. I immediately switched targets to another ghoul and shot, only to miss. Be more patient, idiot.

I waited until I knew it would hit, then took another shot, felling a feral. I repeated the action twice until I knew my magazine was empty. Next to me, Gale was firing her own rifle, the much larger bore making my own sound puny in comparison.

Grabbing a clip from my harness, I pushed it into the magazine through the open chamber, then adjusted my iron sights to the twenty metre notch. At this distance, the trajectory of the shots was almost a straight line anyway, so it didn’t matter much, but it did feel wrong to use the incorrect setting.

Once the group reached Candy, more than three quarters of them had been culled by our combined efforts. Shooting at the crowd, I could observe how gracefully Candy wielded her shotgun, while throwing powerful kicks at ghouls right after. Soon, the entire original group was dispatched, but a few new ghouls had been roused by the noise and were running over.

A few minutes later, that particular street of New Detrot was again free of ghouls.

I sat next to Candy in front of our campfire, empty cooking pot between us. With our proximity to the forest, red bars would continuously blink in and out of existence.

Once a week, we were able to budget for fresh produce, and the food that resulted from it was always delicious. Because neither Candy nor I had much experience cooking, it was always a similar, very basic stew. However, it was so refreshing to get to eat some real food that neither of us minded.

I let out a satisfied yawn. Our Sunday dinner was always big enough that I’d be satiated halfway through my portion, but would keep eating anyway. It was easy to eat large meals when it was this good. Or rather, when it was this much better than what I normally ate. I missed stable food.

Candy, who’d finished her bowl a few minutes ago, spoke up as I levitated mine on top of hers, “So, yesterday Gale talked to me about something.” I perked up, perplexed. Candy sounded worried and almost… careful?

“Yes?” Could it be about my mints? I would have excluded it, but both Gale and Airwaves had given me weird looks, and things were looking odd. Though I still couldn’t really understand why. I doubted it was a silly explanation like envy.

“She told me she saw you take mint-als,” she deadpanned. So it was the candy.

“Yeah? What’s wrong with that?” I wondered. Probably the best way to ask it.

“You… really don’t know?” I shook my head in reply. “Hmm…” She took a moment to think about her next words. “You know that’s a drug… right?” Why was she so hesitant?

“It is? How is it used to cure ponies? That’s what drugs are, right? They cure ponies.”

“Well, this one can help ponies with concentration issues stay productive. A general description would include an increase in one’s ability to think logically as well as creatively. The biggest issue is that a lot of ponies who don’t need it abuse it and get addicted.” She calmly explained, her tone betraying her reluctance about the topic.

I still didn’t fully understand. “What do you mean by ‘addicted’? I don’t think I’ve encountered this word before.” I hoped phrasing it like that would hide my cluelessness, but I had my doubts. I didn’t need another ‘what is sex’ moment, after all.

She raised an eyebrow and proceeded to give me an explanation of the physical and mental process of addiction, and as she went on, I found myself understanding those oddly strong cravings for my mints. On one hoof, it was reassuring that there was a biological explanation for how I felt. On the other, it was eerie that a chemical could produce such feelings in me. I’d always assumed it was just me longing for the taste, but thinking of it like that… revolted me. How could I let that control me?

‘Withdrawal’ also explained what I’d previously thought to be a sugar crash.

“Where did you even find this box? How many did you take?” inquired Candy.

“In the train station at the foot of the mountain. Was already mostly empty, so I only took four—” I recounted the occurrences in my head. “—no, five over the past month or so.”

“I always knew this packaging was incredibly dangerous. What were pre-bomb ponies thinking? You can’t package drugs like candy. Foals might find them and even smart ones might not realise they shouldn’t take them!” She furrowed her brow. “But I wonder… You must have noticed the effect… Not to mention, you never took them in my presence. Were you trying to hide it from me? Are you lying to me, Iron?”

Only thing worse than being caught lying was being accused of lying when you weren’t. “I’m not, I swear. I just knew the effects as a ‘sugar rush’, instead of thinking that it was medicine. As for why I never took them in your presence… I just… didn’t want to share…” While it was true that sometimes she just happened to not be nearby, I hadn’t exactly been willing to share either.

For a moment, I thought she wasn’t going to believe me as her expression turned to consternation, but then she relaxed and giggled. “That’s such an oddly innocent reason to hide a drug addiction. Though I’m surprised you assumed this was a universal thing for sugar. Did you not have any other types of candy as a foal?” My thoughts moved to the vending machines connected to the mysterious fourth floor. Those sold other candies, didn’t they?

“Nah, this was the only one Mother let me.”

Candy’s face immediately turned stone cold again, muzzle contorting in a scowl. “Your mother. She let you take it? Did I understand that correctly?”

Oh. I hadn’t realised this until now. I didn’t understand the implications previously. But now… “She did, yes, and I’m just now coming to understand how messed up that could be seen as.” There had to be some explanation. Maybe she didn’t know? No, unlikely, she was a smart mare. Or maybe…? I couldn’t exclude it. “Could it be that she just didn’t know it was bad?”

“I highly doubt that, but maybe you can give me more details. How did she come around to giving it to you? She already has a bad track record.” She then muttered to herself, “Fuck, I can’t believe this…”

“A few years ago she gave me one of those candies—I mean, mint-als. Ever since she’s been letting me have one a week.” That didn’t sound like behaviour from somepony unaware of the risks, did it? There had to be a reason, though.

“That’s… horrible,” she mumbled. “I can’t imagine Auntie being so awful…”

“I… I’m sure there’s got to be a reason. Mother wouldn’t just hurt me. Maybe there are long term benefits?”

Candy simply stared at me, unconvinced. “Or maybe, she was willing to get you addicted if it helped her groom you into the perfect overmare.” Her tone was cold with fury, but I knew her anger wasn’t directed at me.

There was a pregnant pause until she spoke up again, “Iron, I understand it’s hard to believe. I understand that you see her as your one good parent, but… I don’t think she’s good. I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt when you told me how she kept you in the dark about sex. I was willing to believe she had well-intentioned reasons to not tell you. But twice in a row can’t be an accident. I wonder what else she kept from you.” Continuing, “Fuck, I’m ready to bet you guys didn’t even have books on either subject matter.”

I bit my lip and held back tears. “It’s still so hard to believe…”

“I understand,” she said softly, embracing me. “But I think the sooner you accept that she’s a bad pony, the quicker you can move on and stop her influence on your life.”

I nodded, on the verge of tears, and pressed my face into her neck and shoulder, quietly sobbing for a few minutes. My mind was blank except for the hurt of betrayal.

After I calmed down, I freed myself from the hug and sniffled. I was embarrassed to have left snot and tears on her coat. I opened my saddlebags with my magic, levitating out the tin of mint-als. I took one last look at it, then threw it into the fire. I doubted the actual box would be destroyed, but it was more of a symbolic act than anything else. Selling them would have been the optimal choice, but this felt like the right one.

I sighed, and she embraced me again. We sat there for a while longer, in a sad, thoughtful silence. Ironically, I felt the best I ever had. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted off my chest. Finally, I knew I had made the right choice leaving the stable. I still didn’t know why my mother would expose me to something like that, but I knew that she did. It really was time to let go, wasn’t it?

Later that night, as we went to bed, I found myself unable to fall asleep. Instead, I felt this weird trance take me over once again, like it had in Double Shot’s bar. I left my cousin’s embrace and went outside. Closing the door, I sat down on the ridge of the wagon and started reading data entries in my PipBuck. I couldn’t understand why, as I already knew everything written there. And yet, despite the emptiness of my EFS, I felt anxious. Terrified, even.

Eventually, the cold caught up to me, and I shivered. I went back inside, cuddled up with Candy, and slowly fell asleep.

Footnote:

New Perk: Repair — You are now able to significantly restore an object’s condition using this complex spell. In order to do so, however, you need to understand how the object functions. In other words, to use this spell, you need to have the knowledge of how to repair the object given the raw materials and tools.

New Perk: Steady Telekinesis II — The steadying of your telekinesis is now second nature to you, allowing you exceptional stability when holding objects. Additionally, when you concentrate, you’re able to reach nigh-perfect stability with your aura.

For the first time in a few weeks, I was awake before Iron. Careful not to wake her up, I left the wagon, levitating my jumpsuit behind me. I always felt vulnerable without my armour, oh so vulnerable. But getting it out of the cart would likely be noisy, and I just wanted to go for a small run. My EFS was perfectly empty, if I didn’t count Iron’s green bar.

My mind momentarily flashed the terrifying memory of that foggy night, when I thought some animal had killed my little cousin, only to have her shoot me instead.

I immediately pushed the thought to the back of my mind. It wasn’t her fault. It was all just a misunderstanding. She didn’t mean to shoot me, and I knew it. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to relax. Blaming her for any of this would only make life harder for her, and for no good reason. Poor filly’s already been through enough. It was my job to protect her, make her life easier, not harder.

We’d stayed in the garage of the abandoned building we were always using to conceal our cart. The house itself was a fairly normal, if high class, mansion close to the outskirts of what had once been Foal Junction. The garage entrance was rather well hidden, so even though most parts of the old house were slowly falling apart, this large room was perfect to hide in.

Technically, we could have slept in the mansion’s old bedrooms, but neither of us had ever preferred that over our familiar wagon. Once we’d dissociated the idea of that pony from it, mostly out of spite for the buck, it became our new home. Leaving it for some old mansion felt wrong.

I exited the building and took a small jog, like I’d tried to every day since we’d reached New Detrot. While it was good for my body, it wasn’t absolutely necessary. Every other day, I would end up running to or away from ghouls. The rest I was pulling our home around. No, I really didn’t need additional endurance training, though I did still find moments for some strength training.

My mental health, however, benefited greatly from those jogs. It was the moment of the day where I just let loose and allowed my legs to take over.

I normally never felt worried when leaving Iron while I went for a jog, since I knew she could defend herself, though anxiety still gnawed at the back of my mind as I remembered that she was still asleep. I tried to hush it by justifying that I knew she wasn’t in any danger whatsoever, and it mostly worked, as I was finally able to enjoy my run.

After I returned, I noticed Iron had finally gotten up. She wasn’t wearing her usual cold and calculating expression. Instead, she looked curious, sad, and a little scared, all emotions that only appeared on her face when we were alone—at least that I’d noticed.

This new side of her was likely her own way of opening up to me, and it was through it that I had realised that she really was just a filly. Her usual rational and closed-off front was just a façade for the scared filly inside.

“Good morning, Iron,” I said, and she replied the same, in an unexpectedly meek voice.

We then had breakfast and made for the train station.

We entered the main hall, and I quickly noticed a new face sitting at a merchant table: a yellow earth pony buck, orange bangs covering his left cheek. When he noticed my gaze, he returned it with a smile, and I found myself staring into his deep blue eyes.

If he made my heart flutter with just a look, how the hay could I haggle with him? He was groomed better than most of the bucks I’d known at the stable. Maybe I could try to sweet-talk him into giving us a good deal? That might even lead to something… more, and—

My mind flashed an image of Silver Tongue sneering down at me, lit by the harsh light of the fire.

I gritted my teeth, looking away from him, panting and heart racing. Thankfully, Iron had nabbed his attention beforehand. What the hell? No, Candy, stop thinking about this.

Watching Iron casually ask his name was a pleasant surprise, as I’d never seen her approach somepony like that. Maybe it was because he was roughly my age, unlike the vast majority of the local ponies?

My mind returned to Equus just in time to hear his reply. “I’m Banter. You?” he returned the question, his voice smooth as silk. It sent a shiver down my spine.

“Iron Sonata. And this is Candy Cane,” she replied, pointing towards me. “She’s my older sister. Anyway, you were in Marey Junction a few weeks ago, right?” Hearing her refer to me as her sister warmed my heart and made me happy, but I had a feeling she wasn’t saying it purely out of sentimentality.

His expression turned curious, “You were there too? I don’t remember seeing you.”

Iron smirked, answering, “I caught a glimpse of your group as you were leaving. I was surprised to see other ponies our age.” She could recognise ponies from that far? Her eyesight almost made me jealous, but I chose to focus on the positive; Iron was trying to make friends!

“You sound like you’re new around here. What’s your story?”

“The standard, pretty much. Parents died half a year ago, and we’ve been trying to get by ever since.” Wait, why was she blatantly lying? I didn’t want to interrupt her, but she owed me an explanation.

“Ah, I’m sorry to hear that. So you’re scavengers like us, then?”

“Not really. We mostly just run errands. Deliver letters, help kill some ghouls, rescue irresponsible and airheaded radio hosts from yet another pack of ferals, things like that.” I couldn’t help but chuckle at that last remark.

“So, you two are basically guns for hire?”

Finding an opportunity to enter the conversation, I spoke up, “Not really. We won’t kill, but it would be a lie to say we can’t be paid to kill ghouls.” Oh Luna, why did I have to word it like that? I sounded like I was showing off.

“Ah, interesting. I can understand why, to be honest.” He smiled at me again, and I cursed my weak heart, especially as memories from a few nights ago threatened to resurface. “Would you like to buy anything?”

“Yeah, we’ve been meaning to get a bedsheet or some kind of soft cloth to put on a mattress. Figured if anypony has something like that, it would be a prospector. Of course, we have a very limited budget.” Oh, there I went trying to sound cool again. Somepony please muzzle me.

He dug around behind himself and pulled out different cloths that roughly matched the description. We picked the cheapest one, given that it was good enough. I packed the folded bed sheet into my saddlebags. When we turned around to get to another table, he asked us, “Are you two interested in a job? I could give you the details tonight at Double Shot’s. If not, do you want to just… hang out there?”

Iron and I shared a look and nodded at each other. “Sure!” I said. If today’s jobs had us go far from town, we might not be able to join him, but the two of us hadn’t really talked to anypony outside of business in a few weeks, so I wanted to at least socialise a little when we had the chance. I’d been planning to get in touch with Airwaves sometime soon, though I would have preferred hanging out with her sober; Iron had seemed completely out of it during our last trip to the bar. I really didn’t want her to feel left out again.

After leaving Banter’s stand, we went to buy some ammunition. Luckily, Iron always kept our guns in perfect condition, so we never needed to rely on others for repair or maintenance, and the only thing we needed were bullets, shells, and slugs. After that, we walked over to Gust and took a glimpse at the notice board behind the griffin.

Looking through the different tasks, Iron complained how menial most of them were. A few weeks ago, we would have reluctantly accepted a job that involved cleaning an old building—we even had taken on a similar one. Now, however, we were more interested in the slightly more dangerous and well-paying tasks. Of course, we avoided real danger as much as we could, but many ponies were—understandably—scared of ghouls, and yet needed something from an infested area. Meanwhile, Iron and I understood the danger, but didn’t overestimate it, and we also knew our limits; a few ferals were definitely within our ability to handle.

Finally, my eyes settled on a familiar name. Airwaves was offering a job? I took a closer look. She apparently needed somepony to reactivate a relay north of here. It had been taken over by raiders who’d shut down the tower. That was when I lost interest in the offer. I would not murder somepony—fucked up or no—just to make money.

Another voice nagged in my head, however. Raiders were terrible ponies, weren’t they? Would it really be bad if I got rid of them? After all, Iron had helped out the region quite a bit by killing that group near Foal Mountain.

No. I mean yes. I mean, she did cause good, but I wasn’t going to become an executioner. It wasn’t up to me to decide who should live or die. Then, an obvious thought crossed my mind. The job was out of the question anyway, as it was much too dangerous to begin with. Those ponies would shoot back if we tried to get rid of them, they weren’t like dumb ghouls.

Then, another thought crossed my mind. What if we could negotiate with them? Airwaves hadn’t written anything about a peaceful negotiation, so I could only wonder. Iron must have noticed me staring, as she said, “Please tell me we’re not taking that one. The payment is Stars-awful, and it sounds incredibly risky.”

I shook my head, then turned my attention to other posters. Eventually, Iron and I settled on a simple job we could do today. We would help carry supplies from the train station to a building that was being renovated. Apparently they were planning on making it into an inn. Since we were working under Gust, the payment was at least worth our time.

As evening came by, we were walking towards Double Shot’s bar. I was physically exhausted, having carried heavy crates on my back for the better part of seven hours, and Iron told me she had a headache and overall seemed very tired. She’d helped by carrying smaller things on her, and levitating a few heavier objects. Though I suspected long-term mint-al withdrawal was also a bit of a culprit here.

She was lucky the box she’d found was almost empty, given that the only reason she hadn’t started taking them daily—or even worse, multiple a day—was out of fear of running out. If she’d done that, her addiction would have been much harder to deal with. As it stood, she would have to endure those headaches for a few more months until her brain learned to function without them entirely, but she seemed to understand perfectly that she needed to resist the urges, and I was incredibly proud of her.

As much as I regretted leaving the stable and everything bad that had come from that choice, I was glad I’d managed to save Iron from her mother. She’d gotten hurt really bad, but I genuinely believed that she would heal mentally, and I’d make it my duty to protect her physically and give her the kindness she needed to grow into a good pony.

I would make my hurt mean something. My mind flashed pictures of Silv—no! Push that thought back. I didn’t have time for this. I couldn’t afford to make Iron worry about me. It happened a month ago, could I please stop getting memories of it whenever I stopped paying attention where my mind wandered? Iron needed me. She didn’t need a broken mess that couldn’t take care of herself. I was out here because of her, and I would make sure she would be alright.

Getting nightmares about it was already bad enough, and I wished my mind would leave me be during the day. How much longer would I have to suffer from this? I needed to be strong. For Iron.

“Hey, Candy, are you alright?” she suddenly asked me. Luna fuck me aggressively, I must have been making a face. I swear, nothing gets by this filly.

“Oh yeah, I was just thinking about today’s job,” I blatantly lied.

She groaned in response. “Ugh, yeah. The money’s good, but stars, does my horn hurt. I swear I was a minute away from burnout.” Her words piqued my interest.

Curiously, I asked her, “I noticed you started swearing by the stars lately, is there any reason for that? I know your parents weren’t really religious, and they certainly didn’t worship the stars.”

She shrugged. “When I saw through that hole in the sky a few weeks ago, something odd awoke in me. I’m not exactly sure how to describe it, but I was mesmerised. I still dream of them every so often.” Interesting.

When we finally arrived at the bar, Iron immediately slipped inside, while I nearly walked face-first into a very tall blue unicorn wearing a duster and a wide-brim hat. “Sorry,” I said, but she paid me no mind as she trotted out.

A moment later, Banter called us over to his table, sitting next to a young mare and a filly—about Iron’s age. Weren’t they a bit young to have a daughter? Then again, some ponies thought I was Iron’s mother, so maybe I’d extrapolated too far. Maybe they were just siblings, actually. Why did my mind jump to the least logical conclusion first?

“Evening. You look… tired,” said Banter.

“Good evening.” I sat down at their table. “You could say so. We had a long day.”

Iron then asked the two other ponies, “Hey. I remember you two, what are your names?”

The gorgeous buck encouraged them with a glance, and the dark blue filly gulped, then replied, “My name’s Lockpick, n-nice to meet you.”

He nudged the grey-pink mare next to her, who spoke up in a flat, unenthused voice, “I’m Petal.”

Before the conversation could derail, Banter said, “Like I said earlier, I’m looking to employ you two. Would you care for a drink?” He pointed at the Sparkle-Cola bottles on the table that I hadn’t paid attention to until now.

I could tell Iron was hesitant about accepting it, so I asked in her stead, “This is non-alcoholic, right?”

Iron rolled her eyes, and Banter raised an eyebrow. “Yes, indeed.”

Both of us then accepted the drink, but both of us waited until somepony else took a sip. I was pleasantly surprised by the prickly feeling and the sweet and tart taste. I took a bigger swig from the bottle and sighed, content. Iron seemed to be enjoying it as well.

“So, I’m looking to hire you two as guards,” Banter told us.

“But I told you we don’t do mercenary work,” I protested.

“The point wouldn’t be to protect us from ponies, however. We’re mostly looking to scavenge in some parts of the Detrot industrial zone, and just to get there we need to walk along the eastern railroad tracks. The wildlife there can be… troublesome.” He took a sip of his own Sparkle-Cola. “Not to mention the ghouls and robots that will be awaiting us up there.”

“Interesting. What’s the pay?” asked… my sister. It did feel nice to think of her as that. I wanted to protest her accepting without asking for my input, but she probably guessed that this had settled my qualms. Besides, she hadn’t accepted anything, she’d just asked about the payment.

“Ten caps a day, but we provide food and water. I would love to pay you more, but I’m afraid this is all we can really afford.” That explained why he wasn’t looking to hire real mercs. But it was still a pretty good rate, I had to admit.

“What about ammo?” Right, forgot about that. Thanks, Iron.

“We can’t exactly buy you lots of it, but if it’s needed to keep us safe, we can cover a few dozen rounds.”

I looked at Iron, and we seemed to agree. She spoke up, “Candy and I need to talk this through in private. We’ll be right back.”

She followed me outside, and I asked her, “Do you think we should trust them?”

“No,” she replied flatly, confirming my doubts. “But we shouldn’t have to trust them. If we’ll be travelling with them, we can sleep away from them, and we need to negotiate our own terms for the food and water.” That made sense. “At the same time, from the way they act, I think they truly aren’t that great at defending themselves. I could be wrong, but they seem to be more pacifist types.” How had she figured that out? Was she just that much smarter than me? If she was this good at reading ponies, could she have seen through Silver? I stopped that train of thought right there. I refused to blame her for what had happened, no matter what.

“You mean they wouldn’t double-cross us because they need us?”

“Exactly. I wouldn’t bet my life on it, and I don’t really wanna trust them in any case.”

“I understand. As much as, what was her name…? Right, Lockpick. She seems too young to really want to hurt anypony, but I can’t really trust Petal or Banter out of nowhere, even though they might be younger than me.”

“So, let’s try to aim for thirty caps a day, but this will probably have to vary. We can’t accept anything below twenty-five, though.”

I nodded, and we went back inside where we discussed the price. Banter ended up very understanding of our reservations, and we wound up agreeing on twenty-seven caps a day. We wouldn’t be making a huge profit, but it would give us an opportunity to see a different part of the region. Not to mention, we still weren’t paying for ammunition, and Iron could maintain our weapons at no cost.

“But I wonder, why us in particular?” I asked.

“We were stuck for a few weeks in Hollow Shades, and we heard from Gust that you two cleared the raider nest that stopped us from leaving,” he explained.

“Actually, that was just me,” Iron interjected. “Candy and I were separated at the time.”

“Riiight.” His tone of voice indicated that he didn’t believe a single word of that. Iron’s face told me she wanted to challenge his scepticism, but ultimately, neither of them said anything.

In the slightly awkward silence, I asked, “Has the green line always been so populated? It seems like every few stops there’s a couple or a family.”

He seemed relieved at the change of topic and happy to make small talk. “It’s just the safest one, and it’s so long that everypony can find a ‘piece of paradise’.”

“You… don’t seem convinced,” I responded, tilting my head.

“It’s not that. It’s just that our dream is to make it into Tenpony Tower, and we won’t settle for anything less. It’s gonna take a few years, but we’re well on our way. Most residents there are like us, experienced scavengers.”

“Tenpony Tower?” I asked.

“An old MAS building in Manehattan. Survived the bombs really well, and its current day inhabitants are high class ponies. Or, at least, it’s what they want us to believe; at the end of the day, they’re just scavengers.” MAS? Oh, the Ministry of Arcane Science. Right.

“I’m surprised the zebras didn’t reduce it to dust,” my sister commented. “Manehattan's MAS hub was amongst the biggest in Equestria. It had to be a target.” My head hurt at even the idea of History classes.

“I dunno, I think there was a barrier around the building. From what I’ve been told, at least.”

Our conversation moved away from History and onto more interesting topics. Eventually, we eventually left the bar and agreed to meet up at the train station at sunrise the next day, to make a contract with Gust as our witness and get moving.

“W-wait, you’re younger than me?” Lockpick quietly sputtered after learning Iron’s age. The latter raised an eyebrow.

“I guess so. Why is that so surprising? It’s not the first time I’ve been told I don’t look my age, but I can’t really tell why,” she replied in her usual calm tone.

“W-well…” she stammered. “For one, you’re taller than me. You also have that look on your face. That look adults have, I’m not really sure how to describe it.”

Banter was younger than me, while Petal was a bit older, effectively making me the second oldest in our ragtag group.

We were currently sitting around a campfire, surrounded by a dense conifer forest, after a long day of walking. Iron and I were leaning against each other. I hadn’t taken off my armour, and she still wore her harness. Part of why was that we still didn’t fully trust these ponies, but we were also our two best fighters. Iron had mentioned that her EFS had been swarming with red bars that were constantly blinking in and out of existence, so this was another reason to stay careful. She’d been extremely worried for a few hours, but this worry eventually turned to pure vigilance. Meanwhile, mine was still devoid of red bars. How was her PipBuck this much better than mine? Or maybe hers was just faulty, since we’d never once been attacked?

My attention was dragged back to the conversation as Banter spoke up, “By the way, how long ago did you two leave the stable?” Iron seemed taken aback by this question. Come to think of it, I’d never asked her why she’d lied about this.

“You knew? And you hired us regardless?” Iron stammered. She never expected ponies to see through her lies, did she? What else did she lie about?

“Well, you knew to hide that fact. Means that you either have a lot more common sense than the average stable dweller, or that you’ve already had your trust taken advantage of.” My thoughts darted to Silver, but I chased them to the memory of protecting Iron in the metro instead. I was her protector, and I was strong.

“I… see.” She hesitated. “If I may ask, what is it that gave it away?” Then, before Banter could reply, she added, “We’ve been out here for a bit less than five months.” Another lie, huh?

“The Stable-Tec attire in and of itself isn’t a dead giveaway—especially not around Detrot, given the griffins’ history—but combined with the way you talk, there aren’t many options left.” Come to think of it, my barding had drawn suspiciously little attention, hadn’t it?

I furrowed my brow as I looked at him. “The way we talk?”

To my surprise, it was Iron who replied. “Our speech patterns and pronunciation are much more refined than the average wastelander’s. From what I’ve noticed, at least. Given our education, we probably stand out like sore horns out here, if we talk to someone who knows to look for it.” That did make sense… “However, that raises the question… Banter, your speech mannerisms are also fairly refined, did you also grow up in a stable?”

He shook his head, then lifted his shirt, turning to show us his cutie mark. A single speech bubble adorned his flanks on each side. “Does that answer your question?”

Iron simply chuckled in reply. “I notice you all have cutie marks closely relating to your names, were you just all lucky?”

This time, it was Lockpick, whose cutie mark I noticed to be a padlock with a bobby pin, who answered in her meek voice, “No, we changed our names to match our marks. Helps build trust if ponies remember your name, so it’s a good thing to have a simple name that matches your cutie mark. Banter helped us choose, actually.”

I raised an eyebrow and said, “And what names would you give us? If it isn’t too much effort to come up with them on the spot, that is.”

“Yours is fine. Easy to remember, and it fits with your entire look. Really, a flawless name for a pony like you.” I made sure to mentally thank my genes for making me pink, and helping hide the blush I felt on my cheeks. He turned his gaze to Iron. “You… you don’t really have any particular look, so it’s hard to tell. I’d probably just call you after your cutie mark.”

Iron replied, “My cutie mark is a rifle. Similar to the one on my back, but clearly a bigger calibre.” I was surprised that she was showing this much interest in the conversation. She was always so cold and distant when talking to adults, yet clearly had a logical plan for the conversation. I’d made the mistake of assuming she just didn’t care about anyone other than me, but maybe she just needed to meet ponies of our age to start opening up. I did still wish she would be more open with me about her inner thoughts, but I was happy that she at least acted friendly towards new ponies. A step in the right direction.

“I don’t know. Maybe Bolt Action? Iron Sights? Both are alright, and the latter even resembles your given name.” Those did indeed roll off the tongue a bit better, but I still felt like they didn’t fit Iron that well. Maybe I was wrong.

The rest of the evening was spent discussing our cutie marks—a fairly mundane topic, all things considered, but it did help us get a feeling for each other. Banter was pretty open and overall friendly and always seemed to know what to say and how to say it, as illustrated by his cutie mark.

Lockpick seemed reserved, shy, and almost scared of us. She seemed like a good filly, but I suspected she’d been abused. Or maybe she was just introverted by nature. Regardless, when I heard her speak, all I wanted to do was keep her safe and show her kindness. Her cutie mark represented her ability to… pick locks. Shocker.

Petal, on the other hoof, was the opposite of kind. She was reserved, but not in a shy way. She seemed to not care about the world around her in the slightest. Her only remarks were snide and bitter. I hated that bitch. No. She was probably just having a couple of rough days, I shouldn’t be judging her. Her cutie mark was a single cherry petal that she’d apparently gotten by taking care of the tree near her cottage as a foal.

Neither Iron nor I dared ask what happened to their parents.

Two days later, we were sitting around another campfire, holding a casual conversation. Then, Banter spoke up, “Speaking of bandages, there’s a hospital south of Detrot. From what my source told me, the loot should be pretty good. The only downside, and I presume it’s part of the reason for my source’s claim, is that it’s apparently infested with ghouls. Reason I’m bringing it up is because we’d like your help looting the place.”

“How infested?” interjected Iron. “We’ve dealt with pretty big packs before, but we’ve also had to run away from veritable mobs of those creatures.”

“They didn’t give me exact numbers, but definitely more than what the average scavenger would wanna deal with,” he replied. “Anyway, we’d split the profits with you, as part of your payment, of course.”

Iron and I leaned into each other, and she whispered, “I would be down for it. If they’re willing to risk it, it must be profitable.” I agreed with her, and she fiddled with her PipBuck, before asking Banter, “Would you mind repeating that promise? On the record, this time.”

I walked through the broken door and into the hospital. I’d acted as a decoy and led away a huge crowd of ghouls. A single shotgun shell aimed at the sky, and the entirety of the ferals in front of the building ran after me. Not only that, but a large portion of the mob had seemingly been inside at first. I’d run for ten minutes before losing them, at which point I made my way back to the clinic.

In the lobby stood a large statue. After moving closer, I recognised one of my personal heroes—Fluttershy. I had a moment of reverence before I turned my attention to something else.

My EFS now showed four green bars, one of them occasionally flickering red—most likely Iron’s. It had a tendency to do that when she was hiding. As I turned to the receptionist’s desk, they came out from hiding, and Iron whispered, “Did you lose them?” I nodded.

“Good,” said Banter. “We didn’t want to start searching this place without our best fighter, in case there were more of them that hadn’t followed you. Now, we should split up and search the reception area.”

My EFS was devoid of threats, but Iron told me there were a few red bars further inside the building. We split off to start looking through the reception. Iron stayed at the receptionist’s deck and started checking inside the drawers, while Petal and Banter each found small rooms they started searching. Petal was scouring what seemed like a janitor’s closet, while Banter searched a restroom. I moved towards the waiting room, and noticed that Lockpick was also heading towards that area.

A few skeletons sat on the chairs, while many more bones were scattered on the floor. Lockpick started checking under the seats, finding bags belonging to the ponies who’d died here when the bombs fell. How many ponies had come here with radiation poisoning in hopes of being saved, only to perish in the waiting room?

But something didn’t add up. There were many more bags than there were skeletons. So this was where the ghouls had come from. Though I had to wonder—were there more? Ghouls had a tendency to blend in with their surroundings when they weren’t moving, but there were no piles of leaves in here to hide them, so I wanted to think most of them had followed me out.

I helped Lockpick go through the bags, and we found a number of valuables. Most of it was junk, but we did find a few watches that would supposedly sell well, as well as several types of chems. I didn’t like taking the mint-als, given Iron’s problems, but I couldn’t deny that they would likely sell for a pretty sum. It pained me to leave behind bits, but they were almost entirely worthless at this point. Their main use was for vending machines, and it was generally simpler to just break into those. They weighed just a little too much to be worth hoarding, though keeping a few on oneself was generally a good idea.

Afterwards, we regrouped in the main lobby, and Banter told us, “I think we should split up; I’ll take the third storey, Petal the second, Candy the first, and finally Lockpick and Iron will look through the rest of the ground floor. I know I don’t have to say this, but be careful and stay quiet. We are going for a superficial sweep first, to see if there are still any dangers. If you find a ghoul in a room, close the door and let Candy deal with it later; she can do it much quieter anypony else. Got any questions?” Nopony did. It was only then I noticed both had some pistols attached to their saddlebags, where they could easily grab them with their muzzles. Hopefully they knew how to use them.

I climbed up the stairs and momentarily parted ways with the others. This floor was made up of two corridors, and I picked the left one. On both outer sides, doors led to patient chambers, while the rooms between the hallways seemed to be reserved for staff. I decided to focus on the central part, given that most medical equipment was likely stored there.

I went for an open door to my right, but as I trotted past a room, I noticed a brownish pink mass lying on the ground. A ghoul. It didn’t seem to have noticed me, so I enveloped the door with my lavender-pink magic and slowly closed it. Even if I could kill it without firing a gun, smashing a skull wasn’t exactly quiet. To my absolute horror, a red bar appeared as it woke up.

A few incredibly tense seconds went by before its marker disappeared again. I breathed a sigh of relief as I entered the examination room, closed the door behind me, and started rummaging through the closets. I managed to find several vials of Med-X, a few bottles of antiseptic, packages of gauze, and rolls of bandage—both magical and regular. Was that a shriek I just heard? Anyway, this was a gold mine! If other exam rooms had a similar inventory—

My amazement was cut short by a gunshot, echoing through the corridors. I bolted back into the hallway, noticing too many red bars starting to pop up all around me. I couldn’t see anypony on my floor, so I simply ran towards the stairs. I couldn’t tell where the shot had come from, so I could only hope that by the time I arrived at the stairway, I’d know where I was needed.

Partway to my goal, another shot rang out. This time, I could tell it came from below me. Iron!

Shot after shot rang out as I sprinted downstairs, missing a step and nearly tripping and falling down. Finally, the lower floor came into view, and I saw a mass of brownish pink enclosing on—presumably—Iron with Lockpick cowering behind her, their backs against a wall. I cursed my eyesight as I continued my way downwards. Why were there so many ghouls all of a sudden?

Iron kept mowing down ghouls with what I assumed to be her shotgun, but the blob of ghouls barely shrank, constantly moving forward, completely surrounding them. When I was finally behind the crowd, my heart fell into the pit of my stomach when I saw more and more ghouls streaming out from the rooms all around the floor, and it nearly stopped when the gunshot noises changed. Iron was out of ammo. She didn’t have time to reload the shotgun, and she knew it. The shots grew more and more panicked, until they eventually stopped.

I’d failed.

Footnote: Level up!

New Perk: Piercing Strike — Your melee and unarmed attacks ignore 15 points of DT

Skill Note: Unarmed — 100

Chapter 24 — The Mark of One’s Destiny

The Mark of One’s Destiny

Time passed slowly without a radio. Ours wasn’t broken, but ever since we’d left Acornage, the only station was DJ Pon3’s. While I didn’t mind the music, I did not enjoy hearing about my own actions. Something about having everything good I did applauded to such an extreme extent made me deeply uncomfortable.

I took a quick glance at the distant sea, stretching out far beyond the horizon. I’d wanted to see it up close, but according to Platinum, this shore was highly irradiated.

The DJ had started talking about me a few months ago, when he reported everything Grace and I had done together. The level of detail he knew creeped me out at first, but Snow quickly convinced me that he’d most likely just done his research.

In the distance, I spotted the blurry shapes of a few tall buildings, and when I asked Platinum about it, he confirmed they were indeed our destination.

A few days later, it turned out that this had only been DJ Pon3’s introductory report on me. He’d been hesitant to declare me a hero, since that had bitten him in the behind before. However, after seeing more of my exploits, as he called them, he decided I was fighting the good fight.

As we approached further and further, the silhouettes of the buildings grew sharper, to the point that even I could clearly make out their outlines.

Both of the times I’d led an operation to get rid of a raider camp, the DJ knew, and within a few hours he reported on it. Even relatively minor things like helping a settlement deal with its local fauna got high praise.

Now that we were close enough that the distance could be measured in dozens of metres, I could finally read ‘Scrapin’ By’ painted on the tall building’s façade. Even with my glasses on, I still couldn’t see all that well past thirty metres, but this text was big enough that it didn’t matter.

Those news reports of course strained my relationship with Platinum. He didn’t like that I was risking my life, but he understood that helping others was within my nature—as conceited as it might be to think of myself like that, those were his words, not mine.

The alleyways to either of the tower’s sides were blocked by what amounted to giant piles of scrap and old concrete. High above the ground, I could vaguely make out what seemed to be a wooden bridge crossing from one building to another.

However, when the DJ brought up my ‘heroic’ acts, painting them in a light of pure gold, Platinum grew more and more resentful, until one night we had a huge fight over it. He accused me of being willing to give up on our family, just to hear a stranger’s praise. Of course, he didn’t actually believe that, but in the heat of the moment that hardly mattered. Eventually, we agreed to stop listening to the news reports, since all they did was upset both of us.

Apart from the front entrance, most other doors were boarded shut and had rubble stacked in front of them. As we approached further, I noticed that even the metal gates that used to serve as entry points for the residents’ carts were actually welded shut.

On the first floor, the end of a machine gun’s barrel stuck out of a window, while I could occasionally spot the silhouettes of ponies in other rooms.

Finally, when we were just a few metres from the entrance, a slit on the gate opened, and I saw a pair of magenta eyes on the other side. “Who are you? What are you here for?” The buck’s voice cracked mid-sentence, but he showed no sign of embarrassment.

It was Platinum who replied, voice still hoarse as he was still recovering from a cold. “We are a family of travelling merchants and couriers. We are here to trade and pick up any mail or package you would like to send.”

“I see. Imma need to ask if I’m allowed to let you—”

He was interrupted by a filly’s squeaky voice. “Let them in, you dipshit, we really fucking need supplies.”

The slit closed, and a few clicks later, the gate started sliding open.

Once inside, I spotted the adolescent buck who’d talked to us before. Clearly nervous, he held the trigger of his battlesaddle at the ready. Meanwhile, the filly standing a few paces away from him looked confident as she twirled around a large curved dagger in her telekinesis. The blade was almost as long as her own torso.

Even though she was around his age—or slightly younger—her presence was more commanding than a good percentage of adults I’d met.

Naturally, it was Snow who broke the awkward silence. “So, who do we talk to to get a rundown of this place? Do you guys have a mayor?”

The filly smirked. “We do, and you’re talking to her. Name’s Dagger, and this is my town.” With the leather barding she was wearing, I couldn’t see her cutie mark, but I had no doubt it was related to that enormous knife.

“What? Is this like a town only for kids? Are we even welcome here?” I’d wanted to ask that as well, but Snow beat me to it.

The mayor’s smile widened while her tone turned threateningly sweet. “No, but I make it very clear to anyone coming here who’s in charge.” She spun the dagger mid-air in emphasis. “Now, do me a favour and leave all your weapons here.” As a sign of good faith, she holstered her own.

In her typical fashion, Snow decided to push her luck. “Why would we do that? What if it’s just a trap?” She nodded to the small filly on her back. She’d only needed a few weeks to grow comfortable around us, and as much as it was a relief, it also made me feel horribly guilty. Doubly so given that we never found out her actual name, and Snow had needed to come up with a name for her: Bluestar.

The foal was looking at Dagger with wide eyes, while her new momma kept on arguing. “I can’t exactly fuck around when it’s not just my life on the line anymore.” It never failed to surprise me to see her acting responsible. Too bad this was far from the best way of going about it.

In a flash of blue and a soft crack, the flat of Dagger’s blade was pressed to Snow’s throat. “Then you’re welcome to leave.”

That sight should have sent me into a panic. Instead, it just shot a pang of sadness through my heart. This filly was just a couple of years younger than Iron would have been, and she was already so very used to life in the wasteland. I could only hope to allow my foal to grow up as slowly as it needed to.

Snow gulped, briefly looking my way before holding Dagger’s gaze. On her back, Bluestar looked just about ready to cry.

I shook myself out of my stupor and took a step forward, undoing the belt that held my shotgun. “Come on, Snow. We already know this place is trustworthy.” On the way here, we kept hearing about a relatively new settlement just a few kilometres north of the Las Pegasus ruins. Namely, this one.

Snow nodded, and Dagger relaxed. My eyes met hers as she pulled back her weapon. “Very good. We only really need healing supplies and ammo, so if you got any, take them with you and leave the cart here,” Dagger said.

Platinum followed my lead and removed his pistol, while I undid the cart’s harness. When I grabbed the bag that contained all of our healing supplies, Dagger nodded and motioned for us to follow her.

I caught up with her. “What exactly do you need? We mostly have magical bandages, since my magic is too weak to produce potions.”

“Your… magic?” She craned her head forward. “Oh yeah, you have a horn. Sorry about that. Didn’t see it inside your mane.”

I rolled my eyes, snorting and smiling despite myself. “No worries, it’s not the first time I heard that.”

“Anyway, we’d be very happy to buy those off you. If you have any experience as a medical pony, that would be super appreciated as well.” As usual, doctors and nurses were in high demand everywhere I went.

“Of course, of course, I was going to offer anyway.” While I preferred to help others avoid getting hurt, I couldn’t deny that helping them heal was the next best thing. Plus, it was what my cutie mark was telling me.

“I just wanna warn you, most of the injuries are quite gruesome. Balefire burns. We’ve been having issues with the local fauna—radragons, as we’ve come to call them—over the past few months.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Dragons?”

Dagger shook her head. “Radragons. We named them that since they spit balls of concentrated balefire, but they’re essentially just big lizards.”

“I take it they’re local to this area? I’ve never heard of them before.”

“Pretty sure. As far as we know, they only recently appeared. Breed like motherfuckers, though. I got an idea of where they’re coming from, but I don’t have the ponypower to confidently exterminate them.” She furrowed her brow, then shook her head. “But that’s completely besides the point. I’ll show you to the injured.”

Dagger hadn’t done the wounds justice. I’d seen ponies impaled, cut in half, shredded by buckshot, and blown to bits. And yet, the burns left by liquid balefire were on another level still. I shuddered to think about it, and yet my mind wouldn’t stop showing me images of warped, half-liquefied flesh. Worse yet, some of their bandages hadn’t been changed in several days, and the flesh had melded together with the cloth.

I’d spent the past two hours reapplying new bandages and casting the same basic healing spells over and over again. In some cases, I used anaesthetic magic, but overall I couldn’t stop feeling like I wasn’t doing enough. If it wasn’t for my horn being so weak, I’d be able to do so much more… Was I really the only unicorn in the wasteland with a talent for medicine without any proper healing spells?

Before I could wallow in any more self-pity, Dagger stepped into the room. She nodded to me and trotted over to one of the patients, looking him over. He was a young buck, and I’d treated him first since his bandages had soaked through quite terribly.

Dagger then turned to me and smiled, tears in her eyes. “Thank you…” For the first time since I’d met her, she actually looked her age.

“You close to him? His wounds were mostly superficial, so he should pull through, though the scars will remain for the rest of his life.” That was a mild way to put it, but at least he was going to live. Against all odds, nothing seemed infected. Others, though… I wasn’t so sure.

She hummed in affirmation. “He’s my older brother. His name is Cloak. Between the two of us, he’s the one with the brains, while I can fight well enough to survive.” She turned away, nodding towards the exit.

“Yeah, about that, where’d you learn that trick with the knife? That’s some pretty impressive magic.” Realising I wasn’t being very precise, I added, “The one where you teleported it.” I knew this wasn’t a great moment to be making small talk. However, it allowed me to put off confronting her about the way the patients here had been treated. I knew it was nothing malicious, but I would still need to make the severity of it clear to her.

“It’s a long story, but to put it short, a mercenary took care of us for a few weeks after our parents died, showed us the basics of survival and all that. When I told her I was pretty good with magic, she tried to teach me some spells. Succeeded in some, failed with others.” She shrugged, but couldn’t hide the glint of excitement in her eyes. “Gave me my own first dagger, too.”

Dagger shook her head. “I said I’d make it short, but look at me, rambling. Anyway, thank you for doing this for us. How much do we owe you?”

Part of me was grateful to her for changing the topic; it made it easier to stop ignoring the issue. I sighed. “We’ll get to that, but I need to complain, first.” I tried to keep my expression serious while remaining compassionate, all while making sure I didn’t sound patronising. “You need to do a better job at taking care of them. Some of those bandages hadn’t been changed for a week!”

I looked directly at Dagger. She held my gaze without flinching and started opening her mouth. Before she could say anything, I made it clear I wasn’t done.

“As the mayor, it’s your job to make sure you always have enough supplies in stock.” I firmly put my hoof down. “This is irresponsible at best.” I wanted to point out that she needed to do something about those lizards as well, but I was sure she knew that.

Her face contorted in anger, and for a second I thought she was going to blow up. But when she met my gaze, her ears drooped as her expression softened. “I know. I thought we had enough of it stockpiled, but then all these ponies got injured and suddenly we had to ration bandages of all things…” She broke eye contact, staring at the ground.

I nodded. “I understand. Just… try to do better next time; that’s all you can do now.” I resisted the urge to place a hoof on her withers. She may look like a vulnerable filly right now, but that didn’t mean she’d take it well when a stranger treated her like one.

Dagger met my gaze again, her expression hardening. “You’re wrong. There’s more I can do. I’ve been putting it off, but it’s time I stop fucking around.” She stomped on the ground. “I need to deal with this problem before it gets out of hoof, even if it means taking a risk.”

“You mean you’re going to try and kill those lizards? All by yourself?” I tried not to let my worry seep into my voice, but was probably utterly failing at it.

“Are you stupid?” she asked while shaking her head derisively. “I have three or four ponies who’d be willing to help out.”

“Make that five, I want to help.” As usual, Platinum would oppose my decision, but I couldn’t just sit idly by while others risked their lives, and he knew that. I was no longer actively seeking out ponies to help, but that didn’t mean I had to look away and pretend there was nothing I could do. What would be the point of bringing my daughter into a world that I wasn’t actively trying to improve?

She arched her brow and tilted her head to the side. “Huh?” She blinked. “A three-legged nurse wants to help us fight some lizards?” She took a step back and seemed to size me up. “I mean, you look physically stronger than the average unicorn, but those are dangerous critters.”

“I’m a fighter, primarily. I may work as a nurse nowadays, but if I see something that I could help with, I’d rather prevent than heal.” That line had become my go-to response to Platinum trying to talk reason into me.

“With that leg of yours?” She looked more than a little dubious. “Unless you’re some kind of sniper? That’s not gonna help you since we’ll be in a cave underground.”

“Nah, I tend to prefer close quarter combat, so that works perfectly.” Thankfully, I was still early enough in my pregnancy to retain most of my mobility, but I would still need to avoid overdoing it if I could help it.

Dagger arched her brow, then shook her head. “I’m sorry, but I just don’t believe you. You may look toned, but you really don’t look like a fighter.” What was her idea of a fighter? A pony covered in scars, carrying half a dozen guns?

I didn’t ask her that; instead, I went along with it. “Well, how would you want me to prove it?”

Dagger looked away, humming in thought and pacing. When she was a good couple of metres away from me, she undid the straps holding her great knife’s sheath. “Let’s say that if you manage to get to me without getting hit, I’ll consider believing you.”

I nodded, and she seemed momentarily surprised. Before long, she nodded as well. “Ready?”

I nodded again, getting ready to lunge.

Her knife darted towards me, and I charged forward. Dagger took a few steps back, magically correcting her weapon’s course.

I ducked underneath as it slashed for my throat, only for it to reappear right before me with a flash and a soft crack. The tip would have hit me square in the chest, had I not jumped aside at the last moment, my prosthetic leaving a shallow gash in the stone floor.

There had to be a limit to how often she could teleport it; that was a particularly rough spell to pull off in quick succession, and her magical stamina couldn’t be that extreme.

An idea flashed through my mind, and I started galloping next to the wall. It didn’t take long for her dagger to catch up. I timed my steps to be able to deflect the slash with my prosthetic.

The blade was knocked out of her telekinesis and hit the ground. The filly had moved quite a distance already, but a few more seconds and I’d get to her.

The dagger reappeared in front of me, but I’d been waiting for the pop as my cue. I suddenly turned to the wall, jumping up before using it as a springboard to leap towards her. She didn’t have time to react as I—

As I landed in front of her, another, smaller, sheathed dagger pressed to my throat. What? That was unfair! I didn’t get any of my weapons, and she got to use two of hers?

She let out a shockingly child-like giggle before pulling it away. “You’re good. I don’t doubt that in a real fight with your gear, you’d kill me in seconds.” That much was true; with my shotgun and barding, I wouldn’t have had to fight in such an odd manner.

Dagger shrugged. “Not that I’m a great benchmark for what makes a good fighter, but still.”

I wanted to tell her that she was selling herself short; that her skill was impressive for someone her age, but I doubted she wanted to hear that. Instead, I just thanked her.

She then told me to wait until nightfall while she informed her other fighters. Radragons only left their hiding spots during the day, and hunting them while they were spread out would take too long. Instead, we’d storm their den and take out all of them. We might even be able to completely block the entrance to their cave.

Apparently, while she’d called them dangerous, they weren’t an issue if you were a skilled fighter and understood what you were up against. So our little group would hopefully be enough to deal with the ten or so lizards.

I leapt forward as the radragon spat its burning dark green sludge at me. A second later, its neck was cut in half by Dagger’s knife, and it collapsed. I’d never seen balefire directly, but this seemed… underwhelming. I was happy about it, but it struck me as hard to believe this stuff had ended the world.

This was the fourth we’d taken care of, and it was the first time one had seen us coming. It still didn’t matter, as it was easy to overwhelm, but it was more stressful than the previous encounters.

Dagger wiped her knife clean and motioned the rest of us to follow.

We’d been walking in this tunnel for the better part of ten minutes already. Glowing red crystals lined the wall, providing some level of light, though far too dim to rely on. Instead, Azure—a unicorn mare—floated a flashlight in front of herself.

Dagger’s original plan was to try and collapse the entrance, but that seemed impossible without some kind of high explosive. Blocking it off also seemed impossible for a small group such as ourselves. The tunnel was simply too wide and too tall to easily be plugged by some rubble.

In fact, it had opened below a road, and nothing short of a small building would actually be enough to close it. Luckily, part of the asphalt had remained whole, allowing us to use it as a ramp on the way down.

Once inside, there was only one way to go, since the other direction seemed completely blocked off with rubble. If only reproducing that was easy. Still, If we couldn’t close it off, we could at least do some pest control, as they were most likely asleep.

“Shit, is that…” I heard Dagger mutter, looking far ahead.

I followed her gaze and did spot something, but it was too far away for our flashlight to illuminate it. In the relative darkness, I could only make out a vague circular shape, though I couldn’t even tell what colour it was.

“That’s a stable…” replied one of the ponies with us, an earth pony stallion by the name of Glint.

Now that he mentioned it, I could make out a faint green glow right next to the big circle. As we approached, Dagger walked up to the terminal. “It’s unlocked. There’s door controls and… ‘Jade Bust’s Guide for Future Scavengers’?” While she was occupied with the device, I noticed that the stable entrance’s hinges had been blown up.

She pressed a key, and the terminal beeped. She started reading aloud. “‘Greetings, I am Jade Bust, adventurer extraordinaire.’” By the motion of her head, I could tell she just rolled her eyes, while annoyance seeped into her tone. “Right, that guy.”

“You know him?” I asked.

She hummed a response and turned around. “Stayed with us a couple of weeks back. He was really more of a scavenger, though he clearly prioritised quality over quantity and seemed to think that made him the next Daring Do or something.”

She faced the terminal again and continued, “‘If you’re reading this, it means I’ve most likely already picked this stable clean. Of course, I’m an adventurer and only care for the items of high value, so you can still find anything else. I will be leaving guides such as this one, so that nopony else needs to risk their lives figuring out how to navigate this place.’”

She read in silence for a bit and said, “The next part says he found the stable thanks to a collapsed road, and that it was closed when he first got here. Hinges were rusted shut, so the terminal couldn’t open the door. Had to blow it up, yadda, yadda, yadda.”

She clicked the next entry, and another minute passed. “Then he recommends we check out security’s quarters first, since it usually contains ammunition that he doesn’t bother picking up, but also that it usually has some surveillance mechanism to look out for critters that might be roaming the stable.” She turned towards us. “If you ask me, we might as well head there first.”

We all voiced our agreement and proceeded inside. We came here to do pest control, and a stable wasn’t going to stop us.

The trip to the security quarters was completely uneventful. The inside of the stable was lit with what I knew were emergency lights.

The other ponies voiced complaints about how tight this place was, but to me it was almost comfortable—were it not for the rust covering the walls and the otherwise advanced state of decay of everything around us. I ended up taking the lead as navigating a stable was a skill that apparently transferred between the individual instances… Once I’d taken a good look at the map near the door, of course.

Unlike in Stable 4, security was fairly close to the entrance, so we arrived in just a few minutes. As we stepped inside, I heard Dagger mention she was hoping to find a PipBuck while we were here.

I quickly spotted another terminal and approached it. Just like the one next to the entrance, it was unlocked, though it had a folder full of text entries as well as two of Jade Bust’s.

The first read: ‘I couldn’t find too many valuable weapons in here. Most of them are el cheapo garbage, and the few that aren’t are instead very outdated models. There’s even a couple of *swords* of all things. *You* might still like the weapons, but they are not what I am looking for. There also seems to be less ammo than you’d usually find in a stable.

‘Worse yet, I didn’t find a single PipBuck. No spares in the cupboards and none lying about on old corpses. Similarly odd is how few terminals there are. I’ve only seen the one at the entrance and this one.

‘The stable seems to have been empty for at least half a century, given the lack of maintenance.It could be the case that this stable was *abandoned* for some reason or another, and that they took everything valuable with them. The lack of skeletons certainly makes me think that. Regardless, I will keep on searching; stay on the lookout for my tips!’

After I relayed a summary of this to my group, I took interest in the second entry. This one was titled ‘Summary of terminal entries’. I opened it.

‘No news of a mass exodus on this terminal. Last dozen or so entries talk about a series of disappearances. They happened with so many years in between them that nopony even realised they were linked. Only the last chief of security noticed that there were almost exactly 1500 days between each incident, and that every pony who disappeared was enrolled in maintenance.

‘In the last entry, she says she’s got an idea, but needs to check with maintenance to get the details. Of course, she didn’t bother specifying *what* the idea was. Why are mares like this?

‘I guess I know where I’ll be going after I check out maintenance’s documents, then.’

I shared what I’d learned, and we agreed to continue following him. Arrogant or not, his terminal entries would at least save us time. Besides, according to the map, the maintenance offices were right next to us.

On our way to maintenance, we encountered not one, but two radragons. Luckily, in such tight corners, they didn’t have time to cough up those balls of flame, and we were able to efficiently dispose of them, despite how fast they were able to move. Me with a buck that would have given the Apple family a run for its money, and Dagger with the sword she’d picked up in security.

Once there, we found another terminal, with again two of Jade’s entries.

The first one was just a couple of sentences long. ‘Just my luck. Apparently, this was supposed to be a cheap stable. No free PipBucks, no extra clothing, nothing. The goal was to create a stable that poorer ponies could afford to buy a ticket to. Given the city I’m in, I’m not surprised, just a bit miffed.’

The second one was also quite a bit shorter than usual. ‘It took a bit of digging, but I found out what the disappearances had in common: they were all *veteran* maintenance ponies, with at least five years of experience under their belt.

‘What’s more, they were all scheduled to fix the reactors on the day they disappeared. Sweet Luna, is the schedule software a pain; no wonder no one connected the dots in almost three decades. It's a miracle those maintenance ponies even knew what they themselves were supposed to do on a given day!’

The way to the overmare’s office led through the residential area and through the atrium, one level lower. While I was curious if it would look the same as Stable 4’s, I tried my hardest to remain focused. So far, we’d seen every one of those lizards, but I didn’t like to imagine what one could do if it got the drop on us. Now that we were getting deeper into the stable, there were a lot more corners that anything could jump out from. Open doors, corridors, and even staircases. While each of those gave us potential cover, they also severely restricted how fast we could move forward, since we needed to check every nook and cranny to not get ambushed.

Suddenly, I felt my prosthetic leg hit something heavy. It was hard and plasticky, by the way it sounded as it skittered along the floor. It caught everypony’s attention, and Dagger shone her flashlight on it.

There, on the ground, lay a PipBuck 3000, the exact same model I’d once owned. Without saying a word, I picked it up and placed it in my saddlebags.

While I did that, Dagger noticed something further ahead and walked towards it. Then I saw it too. A pair of torn and mostly empty saddlebags, next to which lay a pristine 10mm pistol.

After Dagger made sure that the bags were indeed empty, we continued forward, passing multiple staircases leading down. While the topmost floor’s layout made sense, this was starting to become rather maze-like. Perhaps this odd layout was to maximise the number of usable space in the stable?

Soon after passing another staircase, I heard one of the stallions scream as a flash of green lit up most of the hallway. I turned around to see Boulder with a burning glob sliding down his chestpiece, eating through it at a rapid pace.

I didn’t think, I just pulled at it with my magic. Realising what I was doing, Dagger cut the straps, and the peytral came loose.

At the same time, Azure’s rifle roared as she fired a burst and then another, causing my ears to ring.

Several large drops of the lizard’s spit had landed on his back and were quickly melting fur and flesh alike, digging in deeper and deeper. I pulled a roll of gauze out of my saddlebags and used the tip to wipe off as much of the burning green liquid as I could. Unfortunately, that seemed to do little other than smear it around. The gauze caught fire, but the burning end of it was cut off by Dagger, then tossed by me deeper into the stable.

I took another look at Boulder, and noticed that the skin underneath his fur was now an angry red, very noticeable underneath his pale grey coat. The buck was biting his lip, no doubt hard enough to draw blood.

We hid in the relative safety of a single residential room where I cast an anaesthetic spell on his chest and shoulders. Unfortunately, the sludge on his back was still on fire, so I couldn’t bandage him yet. While the flame was much smaller now, I still couldn’t smother it. It didn’t burn as hot as I would have thought, but definitely would have lit gauze.

“What should we do? Boulder can’t fight anymore, and we don’t know how many of those fuckers are left.” said Azure. “Should we just leave now?”

Dagger let out a sigh and furrowed her brow. After a while, she replied, “I think you should take him to the exit. It seems there might be more of them than we originally thought, but I don’t think our estimate was too far off. Leaving now wouldn’t fix the problem, and they would just continue to breed and hurt travellers as well as locals.”

Glint hummed in affirmation. “Agreed, but we need to be more careful about this. Didn’t we check that corner?”

“We did.” I nodded. “Did nopony else see it? My eyesight isn’t the best, so I might have missed it, but what about Azure?”

She shook her head. “I’m confident I didn’t see anything.”

Finally, Boulder spoke up, “I think it came into view around the time I was crossing. I tried to turn and shoot it, but it was faster.” With his size, I wasn’t surprised he wasn’t the most agile.

“Alright, that settles it.” Dagger looked at Boulder, then Azure. “Azure, take him outside the stable and meet us in the atrium. Be careful and be ready to shoot whenever you leave cover.” Then she turned to Glint, Shell, and I. “The rest of us will continue to the overmare’s office. I want to see if there’s a way to, I dunno, seal off the lower levels. Or maybe blow up the whole place, if I can.”

We arrived in the overmare’s quarters, and Glint shut the door behind us. The trip here had been relatively short, but our stress levels were at an all-time high. We killed two radragons, and even heard Azure take care of one. We knew she was alright, because there hadn’t been any screams of pain following the gunshots.

I quickly made my way over to the terminal, but before I could start reading, Dagger asked, “If you’re gonna look through the terminal, would you mind passing me that PipBuck you picked up earlier? I wanna see if I can manage to get it working. I’ll pay you for it when we get back to Scrapin’, of course.”

I nodded and tossed it to her with my telekinesis. “Just keep in mind this model can be quite difficult to remove once you put it on; needs special tools and all.”

After sassily informing me that she knew, I began reading.

‘If you’re as invested as me in the story of this stable, you’ll be disappointed to learn that I didn’t find anything else on the matter. If I figure out what’s caused those disappearances, I might go to the reactor and check it out for myself. As it stands, I’ll stay away from that place.

‘I’ve also found one PipBuck so far, which is the only thing keeping this place from being a *complete* disappointment.

‘Oh, and a tip! I’ve turned the main power back on, but have left the stable in emergency power mode. That should allow me (and by extension you) to open some doors. I don’t know how well the old wiring works, and I don’t want to overload any circuits. It’s at the bottom of the ‘Stable Controls’ menu if you would like to take a chance.’

I would look into that soon, but first I wanted to read his second entry. Just the first word set the tone for the rest of it.

‘Fuck! Shortly after I powered up the stable, something in one of the walls exploded. That wouldn’t be a big deal normally, but it woke up some kind of big lizard. Managed to kill it but got wounded in the process; fucker was fast as hell and got a nasty slice into my chest. Unfortunately, my gunshots woke *more* of them up. Managed to hide back in here, but I don’t know how long I can stay holed up. I’ve bandaged my torso, but I am *not* doing well.

‘I’ll try to get some sleep, hopefully tomorrow they’ll be gone. My tip to you? Leave, if you haven’t encountered any. And don’t make any noise. Even one of them was able to fuck me up.’

This was nothing new to us, but I suddenly realised who those saddlebags had belonged to. In hindsight, it was obvious. As I summarised my findings to the rest of them, Dagger’s expression turned to concern, then shock.

“Uh, guys? I think we should follow his advice. That’s a lot of red bars.”

“How many?” I asked, concerned.

“I can’t tell, they overlap too much.” That simple sentence told me all I needed to know. We’d really underestimated their numbers, and we needed to run.

I backed out of the logs and quickly found the light menu. If we were going to have to fight, we needed to have some way of seeing our enemies. I skimmed over the rest of the menus, but didn’t find anything that we could use to our advantage. We could close and lock all doors, but that would just trap us inside for longer, and it might be the death of Azure and Boulder.

We walked to the exit, and with a nod, I opened it. We cantered a few metres before coming face to face with one of the lizards. Unfortunately for it, I was ready and brought down my prosthetic hoof on its skull. The metal crushed its skull, and I continued, barely slowing down.

As we ran across the atrium, I noticed that its exit door was closing. Maybe turning on the main power wasn’t the greatest of ideas after all. Luckily, though, it seemed to be stuck. The bottom half of it barely stuck out of the floor, while the top couldn’t go lower than a quarter of the way down.

Right as we arrived in front of it, though, it gave one last push and came shut in a clank far louder than usual. I groaned in annoyance before pressing the button, only for the door to refuse to open wider than a dozen centimetres.

"Let me try," said Glint in a hurried tone.

Backing away from the door, I turned around to see five more radragons, all of them larger than any we’d encountered before. The largest stood as tall as a pony, but was obviously much longer and wider. The one saving grace was that they were merely walking and not sprinting at those ungodly speeds I knew they were capable of.

Two were at the opposite end of the atrium while the other three were much closer, having come from side rooms or corridors. One of those was already walking straight towards us, its throat glowing that awful green. Twenty metres away, I wouldn’t be able to stop it from spitting. Still, I aligned the shot, but Shell beat me to it.

However, that only sent it into a frenzy as the glow in its throat died down, and it darted between the rows of overturned tables and chairs. When it got closer, I managed to hit it once, killing its momentum and allowing Shell to fire at it twice. After the second shot, the lizard finally stopped moving.

I took one look at Glint trying to wedge his tools into the door before realising I needed to run back in. There was no way he would get it open before the other radragons started sprinting at us.

As I galloped forward, I heard Dagger’s hooves close behind me. Part of me wanted to tell her to take cover and wait for Shell and I to take care of the rest of the reptiles. However, I immediately remembered she was a pony like Iron; a born fighter.

Closing the distance to the remaining one who’d come out of the corridor to our right, I noticed its throat was glowing. The furniture would make it difficult for me to dodge to the side, so I took the next best approach. When the glow reached its apex, I took a step onto a table and used it as a springboard to lunge over the fireball. I landed atop its head, using my three legs to impart as much energy into it as possible while still sticking the landing.

That in turn placed me in front of the corridor where another two of them jumped back upon seeing me. I turned to the side, levitating my shotgun ahead of me as I ran. When those lizards ran forward, they were clearly faster than me. These two, however, were attempting to run backwards, unwilling to break eye contact. Slow as they were, I was able to align a shot. This close, the pellets had more than enough energy to all pierce its thick scales and tear its head to shreds. A moment later, the other one shared its fate.

I turned around to see Dagger battling two of the reptiles, while a third lay dead in front of her. Just like the ones I’d fought, they seemed to understand that she was a threat and were constantly darting around to stay out of her blades’ reach.

The sword’s stream of wide, flowing slashes kept the one to her left at bay; they never connected, but pushed forward like a wave, each slice forcing the lizard back.

Meanwhile, the dagger’s movements were a lot more sporadic. It always seemed to be exactly where it needed to be, ready to sting at its opponent’s openings. The blade left no room for retreat, as even that was punished by thrusts, each fast enough to set the air abuzz.

The sight of those two weapons dancing so freely in the air was truly something to behold; it was genuinely mesmerising. Only after a few seconds did I stop staring in awe at the spectacle unfolding across the atrium and focused my attention on the other pony currently fighting for her life.

Shell wasn’t doing nearly as well. Her reptilian opponent seemed to understand all too well that she could only shoot where she was facing, and was running wide berths in front of the mare. She, on the other hoof, wasn’t letting it close the distance, always moving in the opposite direction.

As I noticed that another radragon was approaching her, I broke into a gallop, deciding she needed my help more than Dagger. While I could tell that she was more than capable of keeping one at bay almost indefinitely, the odds would change dramatically if another one joined the fight.

The newcomer was a lot smaller than its brethren, but what it lacked in size it more than made up for in speed. I could hardly keep my barrel lined up with its body as it weaved between the atrium’s broken furniture. Any time I thought I would have it, it cleverly ducked under a table or took a sharp turn. After two spent shells, I decided I couldn’t afford to keep trying blindly. I lunged forward, intent on using my prosthetic as a blunt weapon.

Even though it was fast enough to dodge all my swings without slowing down, the threat of my shotgun kept it from taking advantage of my openings. I thrust my metallic leg at it, but it dodged backwards. I knew I wouldn’t have the time to aim my shotgun at it, so I lunged after it.

The next moment, Shell’s shotgun roared and a force slammed into my side, almost making me lose my balance. That opening was enough for the reptile to lunge at my face, only to be shredded by another volley of buckshot.

I didn’t have time to complain as I turned my attention to the lizard in front of Shell. It didn’t last long, unable to avoid both our attacks.

She and I shared a short smile before I noticed that it was now Dagger who was fighting on the back hoof. Another one had joined the other two lizards. The one that she’d wounded with her knife was still moving, fast enough to remain a threat now that her attention was divided between three opponents.

Without thinking, I started running towards her. With every second that passed, she was losing more and more ground. Then, she stumbled on a broken chair. It wasn’t enough to make her trip, but it was enough for the smallest radragon to get a swipe at her chest. A second later, it was first impaled and cut in half by the sword.

“Iron!” screamed a desperate voice, and it took me only a few moments to realise it was my own. I redoubled my speed.

With the angle, I couldn’t see how bad the wound was. However, she was bleeding so much that it couldn’t be shallow in any capacity. Despite everything, she continued her assault on the remaining two lizards, but her blades weren’t flying as seamlessly as they had prior.

“It’s open!” shouted Glint, but I ignored him, aiming my shotgun at the closest enemy. Once I was confident it would kill, I pulled the trigger. That in turn gave Dagger just enough leeway to get a proper stab into the other one.

Shell yelled something as well, but my ears were ringing too hard to pick it up.

Dagger collapsed and dropped both her weapons as I ran over. I let go of my own shotgun for just a moment while I levitated out a healing potion for her to drink. Up close I could see the damage the lizard had done. Its claws had easily torn through the leather armour and had dug deep enough to chip away bone. It likely would have torn a hole out of her tiny chest, had it been just a little stronger.

She greedily gulped the potion, and the magic immediately started to work, closing the brunt of the wound in just a few seconds. However, she’d already lost way too much blood for somepony her size, and she was having a hard time keeping her eyes open.

I looked around and saw Shell running towards the exit. I heaved Dagger onto my back, levitating my shotgun alongside me—how many shots did I even have left? She picked up her blades with her own telekinesis, tucking the sword between my saddlebags and my barding, but keeping the dagger alongside her.

Out of nowhere, I heard Shell scream, followed by the sound of furniture breaking. I looked over and felt my blood run cold. One of the large radragons was standing on top of her, pinning her to the ground. I wanted to stop it, but it already had its mouth open. By the time my shotgun came around to the other side, its mouth had already closed around her neck. Her screaming stopped as abruptly as it had started.

I was running out of breath, but I sped up. Shooting it wouldn’t kill it from this distance, so I just ran. And ran. I heard Dagger slash at something behind us, but didn’t look back.

When we were finally through the door, Glint managed to close it behind us. Behind it we found Azure, who’d come running when she heard it close. She’d had to kill a few individual radragons on the way, though.

Nopony said anything as we cantered to the stable’s exit. Four times, when we rounded a corner, we came face to face with a radragon, but alone they weren’t a threat.

Soon enough, we were out of the stable. Since none of them were following us closely, I closed the doors to the stable’s main entrance, then let down Dagger before pushing the heavy main door closed as well. It wouldn’t hold them in permanently, but it would potentially give us some breathing room.

I started bandaging Dagger’s chest. While the healing potion had closed the wound, as usual it was nothing permanent and would easily reopen if she exerted any amount of force on it.

Glancing at her PipBuck, I noticed that she’d taken in a sizable portion of radiation.

Fear shot through me at that realisation. It couldn’t be. Surely she’d been exposed before the stable. Or maybe the PipBuck itself was broken. It had to be one of those two. Stables weren’t normally irradiated. Even when a spark reactor went bad, it didn’t produce the same kind of magic as balefire… right?

Radiation was probably the biggest cause of miscarriages in the wasteland… If I’d just been exposed to so much of it… No, no, no, calm down, Candy. You can’t panic just yet!

Dagger woke up when I was changing the bandage of her chest. “Shit, I’m alive.”

After our return from the stable, I’d tended to her wounds. Unfortunately, as was common with smaller settlements, they didn’t have any blood bags I could use. Her injuries had reopened during our hasty escape, but were no longer severe enough to warrant using a healing potion. She was already weakened, and odds were the magic would do more harm than good.

“That you are. You lost a lot of blood, though, so be careful.” I’d briefly met up with Platinum and Snow to bring them up to speed. Then, I’d gone to look over Dagger and make sure she would survive the night. Those bandages would need to be changed multiple times a day for now.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” She rolled her eyes. “Lots of bedrest, need to eat right, et cetera.”

I smiled and nodded. “Glad to see you’re in good spirits.”

“Why wouldn’t I be? I’m alive, after all,” she quipped before her sass and mirth disappeared from her face all at once. “Fuck, I forgot.”

This wouldn’t be easy, but I had to reassure her. If she blamed herself for this, it wouldn’t do her any good. “I’m… sorry about Shell. It wasn’t your fault, we all—”

“It’s not about who’s at fault,” she cut me off sharply. “I made the call, and I’m responsible for her fate. Whether or not it was overall a good call remains to be seen. We bought some time, but we still need to find a way to get rid of them for good.”

Sweet Celestia, what had this filly been through? “That’s quite a cold, or rather overly analytical, way of looking at things, don’t you think?”

Dagger looked away, out through the window. “I didn’t say it doesn’t suck.” She let out a long sigh. “She was a good friend, and I’m going to miss her a lot. It’s just…” She turned back to face me, her expression solemn. “I’ve been the leader ever since our parents died. I’ve made decisions that got three of my closest friends killed. If I let that eat away at me, I’d very quickly share their fate.”

Not knowing what else to do, I just patted her mane. For a second, she was about to protest, but quickly changed her mind. Soon enough, she started crying, and I leaned in to hug her.

That simple motherly act sent a pang of guilt and worry through my mind as I remembered about the radiation. I’d drank some RadAway, but I knew it wasn’t that simple. Sweet Celestia, if—

I pushed the thought into the back of my mind. This wasn’t about me. This poor filly, strong as she was, needed somepony right now, and I wasn’t going to let my own worries take the forefront.

As she eventually stopped crying, she spoke up, her voice meek, “By the way…” She wiggled out of my embrace and turned to look at me. “When I got hurt… You shouted something. I think it was a name?”

“Ah, yes, sorry about that. In certain ways you remind me of my little sister. Her name was Iron Sonata. She’s been dead for so long, but she’s clearly still on my mind.” I sighed.

“Oh.” For some reason, she sounded disappointed. To my puzzled look, she replied, “The mare who taught me everything I know was also named Iron. Well, Iron Sights, but she went by Iron.” She gave a sheepish little smile. “It would have been one hell of a coincidence, but I guess it was enough to get my hopes up.”

“Same here, really. I never found her corpse, so part of me hoped she was still alive, as unlikely as that may be.” I slowly shook my head. “But she would be just a few years older than you, so that can’t be.” Part of me still desperately wanted to hope it was somehow possible, but I knew better. I decided to change the topic a little. “In any case, your Iron did a fantastic job teaching you to wield a blade. Watching your fight was really impressive.”

“Thanks!” she said with a smirk. “But it gets even better. She really prefers rifles, and only uses a knife when she really needs to. Point is, she only showed me magic, the knife bit is self-taught. I just put the tricks she taught me into practice. A few hours passed in the blink of an eye, and I had my cutie mark.”

Her mark, now that I’d seen it, resembled a six pointed star made out of various daggers. “It really fits you,” I commented.

“Mhm! I used to think I’d have a flower cutie mark like mom, or maybe something artsy like dad. Now I’m pretty happy with what I have. I can actually protect the ponies I care about and be strong for them.” She was grinning widely, despite the weakness in her voice. “Which reminds me… what’s the deal with your mark? It’s not at all what I’d expect from such a great fighter.”

I softly smiled at her and explained, “That’s mostly just experience because of what I chose to do in life.”

She nodded in thought, and I decided that was my time to leave. “Anyway, now that I know you’ll be alright, I’m going to go catch up on sleep.” As I turned away to leave, I added, “Don’t stay up too late fiddling with your new PipBuck.”

She furrowed her eyebrows and gaped for a moment before saying, “How did you know I was gonna…?”

“Just a hunch. You seemed excited to have one, so I figured. Why do you like it so much? Most wastelanders tend to underestimate how useful it can be unless they’ve seen it first hoof.”

“Well, Iron had one, and she made it seem damn useful. Been wanting one ever since.” She tapped the screen as she spoke. “Except hers wasn’t exactly like it. It was much sleeker, and white.”

That caught me by surprise. “That… sounds like a PipBuck Alpha, and they’re rare even amongst PipBucks. I’ve only known of one pony who wore one." I felt my mood sour with every word. “Are you sure her name wasn’t Iron Sonata?” Please don’t give me hope.

Dagger rolled her eyes. “Uh, yeah. And she was an actual adult, even back then. She was taller than you, in fact.”

“Sorry, I don’t know what came over me, I should know better. This is just all one massive coincidence.” I bit my lip and hesitated. Finally, I managed to get the words out, “Just to get any dumb ideas out of my head, can you describe her to me? Did you get to see her cutie mark by chance?”

“I think her coat was a shade of white, or something else very light. Looked brownish, but that could just be the wasteland dirt.” Dagger shrugged. “Had red eyes and a green and yellow mane.”

I felt my heart stop, and the shock must have been obvious on my face. Dagger’s eyes gradually widened, and she barely managed to hide a grin as she slowly shook her head. “Don’t tell me… Don’t tell me her cutie mark was a rifle surrounded with stars?”

That was beyond any coincidence. "It was… And she was the one who taught you to survive?"

She nodded fervently. “She was a bit gruff on the surface, but she helped us when it really mattered. Cloak always says mean things about her, but I think he's just jealous because I look up to her more than to him.”

I felt my eyes tearing up. “I’m… so proud.”

Dagger was grinning, too. “I take it you two were close?”

I nodded. “And she meant a lot to me in general; I got my cutie mark because of her.”

She chuckled. “Heh, that makes two of us. Though I doubt you mean she showed you how to be a nurse.”

I shared her laugh and shook my head. “Nah, it was a bit more complicated than that.”

“Mind if I ask how? If you haven’t noticed, she’s kinda my hero.” Her smile turned sheepish for a brief moment before returning to wonder.

“I don’t know, it’s a bit of a long story…” I really didn’t want to waste any time reminiscing about the past. I just wanted to run and find Iron right this instant. However, I knew that wasn’t a smart idea. Might as well take my time, for now. “You know what? I can give you the short version. It’s not very grand or anything, though. One day, she was walking around the stable with—”

“Wait, she’s from a stable?” She shook her head. “Wait, nevermind, that’s kinda obvious. Sorry for interrupting, please go on.”

I chuckled. “Anyway, she was walking around the stable with a cut and a bruise on her face, crying. I ran to her, got her home to my place, and put a bandaid on it.” She’d told me she had fallen, but I knew that was a lie. Back then, I believed she was being bullied and offered to protect her. However, she wouldn’t say who did it, so I’d focused on just being there for her and consoling her. “I realised that this act of taking care of somepony; of helping them get better, no matter what they’ve been through, is what I was meant to do. And usually, it’s better to prevent rather than heal.”

“Woah, it’s kinda weird to think of her as a weak little filly that needed protecting. But I guess everypony is young at some point. Wait, does that mean I’ll be so strong when I get older?” The filly continued to ramble while I sunk deeper into my own thoughts.

I’d never been too fond of my mark; in such a cruel world, why focus on healing rather than preventing? I’d been a little jealous of Iron—and now Dagger—and their cutie marks. At least they were simple and effective. Mine hardly made sense past the little obvious parts. I’d had it for nearly a decade, and I still didn’t understand what the candy cane on it represented. I’d picked my name based on it, and the twofold meaning of “cane” made sense in security, but ultimately I didn’t know what it meant.

Lately I’d been slowly trying to reconnect with it. When I wasn’t killing bandits, helping heal ponies was the next best thing.

Now that I’d potentially lost my foal, I realised that I really needed to focus on being a medical pony. Sure, I was a capable fighter, but I needed to stop risking everything. I’d decided that several months ago, but it just hadn’t clicked until now. I needed to stop playing hero already.

It was just… healing somepony only felt… half right. It felt like I was missing something, something essential. Fighting, on the other hoof, didn’t really feel right either. However, it didn’t feel wrong. It wasn’t something that gave me purpose. It was just a chore like any other.

The only times where I felt like I was really doing what I was meant to do… They were back when I was travelling with Iron.

No… that wasn’t quite right. There were other times I’d felt similarly. I’d just ignored them because the rational part of my brain insisted on preventing rather than healing.

Come to think of it, my cutie mark had appeared after I comforted Iron, hadn’t it? Perhaps I wasn’t just meant to be a walking healing potion, and my special talent was really more about the mental part of recovery; about the idea of giving somepony the comfort that somepony cared. Maybe that was what the candy cane represented.

How could I be so deaf to my own feelings? No wonder so much of my life felt hollow after I got separated from her. Even Platinum’s love couldn’t fill the gap that was caused by not being in touch with my own cutie mark.

Not that any of this mattered right now. Iron was alive! Sweet Celestia, to think she’d been out in the wasteland all this time. I’d given up my search, but I could now find and save my baby sister!

“Do you know where she went off to?” But could I really afford to follow such a cold trail now of all times? And did she really need to be saved?

I was sipping a coffee when the door to Snow’s room opened, and she walked out. After carefully closing the door to avoid waking Bluestar, she yawned and stared at me for a moment. “You look like you haven’t slept at all, sis,” she said.

I just shrugged. “Because I haven’t. At least not after the tiny nap I got after I talked to you two.”

She tilted her head. “How come? Usually you’re the soundest sleeper of us all.” She had a flash of realisation. “Wait, is the filly okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah, she’s stable. I’ve just been thinking a lot since I got to talk to her. I’ll explain it once Plat’s up.”

She and I sat in silence. Well, I sat in silence while she wolfed down some sugary pre-wasteland cereal. Eventually, I could hear Platinum move inside our room. When he came out, he gave me a look of concern, and I pointed him to a chair. Confused, he sat down.

“I’ve been up all night, thinking.” Taking a deep breath, I looked at both of them. “Last night, after Dagger woke up, I found out that apparently Iron is still alive. Or at least she was, a bit more than a year ago.”

Snow furrowed her brow and looked like she wanted to say something, but was interrupted by Platinum. “And whatcha gonna do about it? You just gonna go and ditch us to catch after somepony you used to know? Or maybe yer planning to drag us along in a wild chase?”

That was exactly what I’d been dreading. I knew exactly how to shut him up and get him to listen to me. “No, I will not.” That seemed to have the desired effect, and I sighed. It caught both of them off guard, but neither said anything. “I’m not going to go after her, at least not immediately… I really want to meet her again at some point, but I don’t think we’d be able to catch up to her now. Besides, I’ll have a duty as a mother by the time we could potentially find her.” I tried to smile, but had a feeling it didn’t look very happy.

“While I want to run off and find my little sister again, I don’t think she needs me. According to Dagger, she’s become a strong young mare; a competent mercenary with a good heart.” I gulped. “As much as it hurts to say this… she doesn’t need me anymore.”

Once we moved on from that topic, I tried to put together the courage and admit to Plat that I was afraid I’d lost our foal. However, I just couldn’t bring myself to it, and all I could do was hope that he or she had survived. I’d drank a sachet of RadAway, wary of any side effects that could also affect my pregnancy.

Instead, I did the next best thing. “I’ve also come to another conclusion…” I tried my best to smile, but in my current state, I feared that it looked rather like a grimace. “I am going to stop my work as a hired gun.”

Platinum furrowed his brow, but couldn’t stop a cautious little smile from spreading on his muzzle. “But…?”

I shook my head. “There is no ‘but’. I’ve simply come to realise that it isn’t my calling; that I’m better off helping in other ways; ways that directly link to who I am, instead of forcing myself to take the difficult route.”

While the demand for medical professionals was often unmet in the wasteland, recovering from mental trauma seemed almost impossible. Almost everypony had witnessed horrors now etched into their mind, but they could often do little more than push on through the harsh reality.

I didn’t know how to treat mental health issues, but it seemed like learning it would be the next step in my quest to help.

After all, what point was there to dying a heroic death, if it meant I wouldn’t be able to help anypony anymore?

We only ended up staying in Scrapin’ By a few more days. I’d been prepared to stay there a couple of months, but Dagger seemed to be doing well, and before long, I was mostly getting in her way.

Footnote: Level up!

New perk: Thought you died — Now that you’ve decided to stop risking your life, it’s only a matter of time before folks start thinking you died. Your karma will gradually be reset to zero. On the bright side, the many adventures that failed to kill you have only made you stronger and even harder to kill. You also become immune to critical hits.

Author's Note

This was one of my favourite Candy chapters to write. Started out very mediocre (and it’s why it took so long), but that just meant I had to work harder to make it actually pretty good.

Next chapter will be out on the 17th, and then on the 31st.