A famous crime boss once had this to say about mafia life: “This life of ours, this is a wonderful life. If you can get through life like this and get away with it, hey, that’s great. But it's very, very unpredictable. There’s so many ways you can screw it up.”

Back when I was a young assistant, I never thought I'd end up a mobster. But now that I am, I can't help but feel this quote describes my life to a t. I bet you're wondering what I'm talking about, and why this story's called Mr. Smokes instead of Spike. Well, it's a long story, but it all started on the day Rarity broke my heart...

Pre-read by EquestrianTwist