The Tale of Big Mac and the Terrible Smarty Pants Slingshot
Big Macintosh, undoubtedly the strongest pony in town, walked through town on the way to the Carousel Boutique. He knew why he was visiting Ms. Rarity, and he was nervous.
'What's gotten into you?' He thought, beginning to grow more nervous as the boutique came within his sights. 'You could crush a skull under your hooves and you are worried about talking to a fashionista!'
As he got closer to the boutique, he began to sweat bullets. He could only hide this for so long. It was time that he came clean to somepony about this.
'It was only a matter of time,' Mac thought, slowly approaching the door.
Mac knew that Rarity would not be in the best of moods. It was more humid than usual that day, and he knew what humidity did to the hair of mares. It wasn't hard for Mac to imagine how Rarity would have reacted to it.
Big Mac knocked on the door, nervously swaying on his hooves as he waited for the door to open. He waited a few moments before he was greeted with the sour face of Rarity, who was fresh out of the shower. He was extremely embarrassed about the reason for his visit, and Rarity’s mood wasn’t doing him any good.
“Apologies for botherin’ ya at this hour, Ms. Rarity,” Mac stated politely, peering into the open boutique behind them.
“Macintosh,” Rarity said through her teeth, wearing the fake smile she reserved for unruly customers. “I suppose you’re here to retrieve whatever just crashed through my upstairs window.”
Mac could tell she was upset; she had every right to be. He knew what he would do if somepony had the gall to destroy what was probably the only intact part of the old barn house.
“Ah am indeed, Ms. Rarity. Ah understand if ya never want to see me again,” Mac sighed, knowing that he had potentially destroyed his friendship with one of his sister’s best friends. “But ah do need to collect mah property…”
Rarity smiled again, though Mac could tell it was forced. “Of course, darling! I am sure you have a perfectly good reason,” Rarity said, gesturing for Mac to follow her into the house. “I will ask for the truth, though. This is going to drain my emergency fund, and I know how good you apples are at lying.”
Mac could swear he saw the beginnings of an evil grin form on her face as she said that.
As Mac followed her into the boutique, he took in the surroundings. He’s never actually been in here, despite the fact that Rarity was one of his sister’s best friends. It was beautiful, though the sheer amount of needles put him on edge.
“Thanks again for inviting me in. Ah know this is hard to believe, but it really was an accident!” Mac exclaimed, thinking of the best way to explain what happened to Rarity. He wouldn’t believe it if somepony tried to explain it to him.
As the two reached the top of the stairs and entered Rarity’s room, Mac immediately noticed the doll laying in a pile of broken glass in the middle of the room. “I assume this Is what you came here for?” Rarity asked, turning to look at Mac. She knew the answer but wanted to embarrass the large stallion a bit more. She was still mad at him for breaking the window.
“Eeyup,” he answered shyly.
“Well then, go ahead and grab your… doll.” Mac blushed a bit, thankfully unnoticed by Rarity due to his color. He shamefully picked the doll up, turning his head and putting the doll into his saddlebag. “Now, I believe you owe me an explanation,” Rarity deadpanned.
“Ah suppose that’s the least ah can do after breaking your window.”
Mac turned to face Rarity, looking into her eyes so she could know he was telling the truth. Not that it would matter, he had a tick just like his sister. “Ah’m sure you recognize that doll there,” He stated, glancing at the ragged old doll that he took by force during Twilight’s magic frenzy.
“Indeed I do,” Rarity answered hotly, recalling Twilight expressing her sadness at not being able to find the doll which she had named ‘Smarty Pants’.
“Well, ah kind of.. kept the doll after Ms. Twilight’s spell made me go after it.”
Rarity stared at him, an unclear emotion hidden within her piercing gaze.
“Ah keep smarty pants in mah saddlebag when ah do the farmwork ya see,” Mac admitted, suddenly finding something very interesting on the floor to stare at. “Today ah was plowing the fields and mah plow was givin’ me more struggle than usual. Ah turned around and saw that smarty pants had somehow gotten stuck in the rope tied to the plow,” He explained, remembering the slingshot he had accidentally created with shame in his voice.
“By the time ah had figured out what was gonna happen, it was too late,” He looked down again, feeling like an idiot for letting this happen. “With how much ah was pulling on the plow, the dagum thing was a slingshot!” He blurted out, trying to get Rarity to picture what he was saying. “Soon as ah looked back, the rope snapped and shot smart pants clear across the farm and, unfortunately, into your bedroom.”
Rarity continued to stare at him, not believing what was going on. She could tell that Mac was telling the truth, but she still couldn’t believe it. “Correct me if I am getting this wrong, darling,” Rarity stated, trying to understand what Mac was telling her. “You’ve had Twilight’s doll since she went crazy and hypnotized the whole town into fighting over it?”
“Eeuyp.”
“And you’ve somehow never been caught with it despite having it on you constantly?”
“Eeyup.”
“And you somehow turned your plow into a massive slingshot which shot smarty pants through my window all the way from Sweet Apple Acres?”
“Eeyup.”
“You do realize you’re going to help me clean this glass up.”
“Eeyup.”
“And you know that I WILL be telling Applejack and Twilight about this.”
“…Eeuyp.”
Mac sighed and prepared to deal with the aftermath of this whole ordeal... and his sister.
Author's Note
This was originally a roleplay that I did with someone. I am trying my hoof at Big Macintosh and thought this might be entertaining enough to post here. I had to come up with a story rather quickly, so it's not my best work. I hope some of you enjoy it.
