A Tale to Tell

My name is Kotushk. And this is my story. It won't be incredible. I'm not a savior. I am more of a failure really. Life is hard...

I woke up on my final day as a human in a rare mood. I was happy. This was rather alarming, as I very rarely felt this way. I tried to think back on what I may have been dreaming about, but as usual I could not remember the dream. A shame really. The few moments in my life when I'm actually happy, and I can never remember them.

I rolled out of bed and looked around my room. Last night's jeans were on the floor, so I put them back on. After all, I wasn't out to impress anyone, and they had only been worn a little while yesterday. Looking around, I located my Fluttershy shirt, which I had thrown over the chair in my room. Giving it a cursory sniff, I placed it over my body. Today would require some deo though. I scrounged underneath my bed for a few seconds, pushing old potato chip bags out of the way until I located my body spray.

After "freshening up" I sat down on my computer to check my daily online routine. Facebook, no new friend requests, and no new notifications. Youtube, some funny videos in my feed, helped kill some time. FIMfiction, reading some stories and browsing for new ones. Dull and pointless drivel, as usual. Who cared what I did online, except my ex. She left me because I liked My Little Pony. I spent too much time online instead of listening to her bitching about how bad her life sucked. I'd be more considerate if she had actually tried to do something to change, like accept my help. But no, she just wanted to complain about the hell she lived in, and tried to take anything fun away from me. Letting out a soft sigh, I turned off the computer and went back into my room.

Here I sat down on my bed, looking at the empty screen of my TV. Yet another thing my ex tried to take away. She called me childish because I enjoyed some gaming, and anime. Like the things I watched and played were really appropriate for children, except MLP. I mean, seriously, I played games like Grand Theft Auto, Saints Row, and Resident Evil. The anime I watched was no better. Things like Elfen Lied, Rosario+Vampire, Hellsing, the list goes on and on.

I turned my ancient PS2 on and sat down to play some Samurai Warriors 2, having finally gotten around to unlocking Nagamasa Azai's story mode the night before. Too bad his love life was hardly any better than mine. Kinda sucks to be killed by your own loving wife though. Ahh, who am I kidding, at least this bastard was able to get someone to love him for who he was.

I turned the PS2 off and sat in my room for awhile, thinking about my loneliness, and the lack of true friends I actually had. Of the ones I did have, none lived remotely near me, and sometimes had far too much in their own life to really talk to me anyway. At least I had time on my hands, having no life helps with that. I turned to the closet situated in my room, contemplating my work I had recently begun.

You see, I'm one thing, if anything. I'm smart. No, not street smart. And not average smart either. I was usually a teacher's aide in school, even teaching the class when the teacher was sick. For me, the work was boring, mindless, and dull. It was only a tiered repeat of the same stuff we learned before. Eventually I dropped out of school to get my GED, which was a quicker method for me. Enough pointless muck. The point is that I am intelligent. I began working with a contraption in my free time, just a simple thing to help me record TV shows offline to play on my TV. Unintentionally, the machine worked differently, and transported my socks somewhere I couldn't retrieve them from. I theorized that my contraption had perhaps misplaced them into another dimension, and with this small hope in my heart I had been working on it for weeks.

Using my notes, I began to recreate the small remote sized invention into a large human sized capsule. I'm tired of this life. I want out. Even if death is my way out, in a misguided trial, I don't care. Even if I'm put into some dimension I can't survive in. I don't care.

The machine was almost ready. Today was the day I planned on finishing the dimension transporter, or the day I died. Good day to die I suppose; rainy, overcast, and thundering. Every insane nutty scientist's "good" day in those cheesy horror flicks. I worked on the machine for about three hours before I realized I was actually doing nothing productive. It was finished. I checked over everything once more, referring to my notes often, before I was satisfied. Time to get going.

Looking around my room one last time, I noticed a queasy feeling in my stomach. A pre-death reflex. I knew I could die. Part of me, most of me really, wanted to die. But like any sentient being, part of me was telling me to go fuck myself. I ignored this minor voice. I knew what it was anyways. The innocent side that lives within all of us. Well, for me, more accurately it's the innocence I locked away as a child.

My life hasn't been easy. But no one knows that. Not unless I want them to. I hide behind a gentle and agreeable face, always smiling and cheerful. But when I'm alone, I lock that person away. I become who I really am, what my hardships have reduced me to. And then I lock him away, and become this. The last vestiges of sanity left to me, clinging together hopelessly adrift in the darkness of my mind. Perhaps I could cope with life better, if I knew how. But this is all I know. I take each chapter of my life, and seal it away. I give it a name, the name that I assumed to my friends at that time. The only friends I consider true friends are those who have stood by my side even when they see the ugliness of my mental state. They are the ones who know multiple names of mine.

I quelled my youngling self and stepped into my machine. The time to leave this Earth one way or another had come. I closed the door, and took a deep breath. If I wasn't able to breath in another dimension, I at least wanted to see what it looked like before I suffocated. Placing my finger over the activation switch, I took a moment to gather myself, and pressed the button down.

At first I thought it had failed. None of the bright lights I was expecting from the sci-fi films I watched occurred. I didn't feel as if I fell into an abyss. The only thing I felt was hot, as if I was wearing a fur coat. I also noticed that my hair, usually unkempt and short, was now unkempt and in my face. I reached up to brush it out of my eyes, and clobbered myself with something in my hand. Dizzily I pushed the door open to see what I held. A bright landscape greeted my eyes, nearly blinding me. Lush green fields rose before me, ending in a small forest about a hundred meters away. Blinking my eyes at the new sight, I looked down to see what I held.

I almost fainted when I saw that my hands were gone. They were replaced with hooves! I also seemed to be wearing large golden rings on my legs. Looking over my shoulder I noticed that I was now a pitch black pony, with a black mane and tail. These were streaked with royal purple, making me instantly think of gothic looks back home. A deep purple cape rested over my back, hiding part of my tail underneath.

Here I was in a new world, and I was a pony. If I had to hazard a guess, I would say that somehow I had managed to make my machine receptive to thought processes. I wanted a world I could live and die in peace on. A world with less stress on my soul and mind. Of all the things I had an interest in, I would suppose my subconscious would think of Equestria.

Perfect.

Unless this world was nothing like the show, or I happened to be anywhere near Pinkie Pie, should she actually exist here. She'd be stressful for me, at least until I could handle society.