The guys stood there shocked. The words from Lyra, “Welcome to Equestria,” rang in their heads over and over again, as they tried to process what she meant by it.

“How the hell are we in another fucking world?” Mike said in shock

“Well, there’s Stargates, magical summonings, Warp travel, cursed land, ancient pacts, time phenomenon, wormholes, there’s a lot of stuff that could easily fill in the gap,” Sam said, rattling off random ideas. “Maybe the book brought us? I mean, after Matt read it there was a flash and we did wake up here. In magical animal bodies, to boot.”

“Hey, we at least found out how to change back and forth between them,” Zander followed up. “You’re still stuck that way and can’t really do much.”

“I think I’m fine with this, honestly,” Sam said, patting his chest. “I mean, I feel a lot better like this than I did before. Plus, I’m pretty sure that thing on my tail can act as a hand, so that’ll be cool to figure out. Imagine how many minis I could make with that! … oh, I made myself sad again.”

“What? Why?” Zander asked.

“My Orks and Skitarii were trashed after the house got teleported or whatever. They’re… they’re all broken. And I ran out of the special glue, so I wanted to buy more with the fight money, but yeah, you won. And we’re in another world, so I doubt they have a Warhammer store here.”

“We’re stranded in another fucking world!” Mathias said, holding his head in his hands. “Why did I fucking read that stupid God-forsaken book!? I should have just left it there and let it gather dust, but no! I had to be a curious cat and deepthroat a fucking gun barrel! Now we’re stuck in a world with weird pony monsters, I’m part bird, you’re a fucking lizard and everything I worked for in life is a fucking lie! FUCK!” he screamed, kicking a hole in the wall.

“You know, if you can stop screaming we may know someone who can help you guys,” Lyra brought up pulling two fingers from her ears.

“Oh really, like who?” Mike asked begrudgingly.

“Some powerful wizards at the Adventurers’ Guild that’s in the center of town,” Bon Bon followed up. “It was actually where we were planning to go to gear up for the Bugbear swarm. I need to get my club refurbished, and Lyra needs her lyre fixed too.”

“I broke a string during a fight trying to get off multiple buffs,” Lyra said. “Trying to play three different notes on the same string is a quick way to break your equipment. And your fingers.”

“This sounds… eerily like some kind of RPG,” Zander said.

“Oh my God we were fucking Isekai’d,” Mathias said, facepalming. “I can’t believe that all of my hours studying instead of playing ESO are actually going to work out badly for me now. This is what I get for being a good student, punished for not playing games.”

“Oh, well this isn’t good,” Sam said. “I don’t really play video game RPGs, just tabletop. Well, this should be fun. Or not. Depends on the 1’s and who’s rolling them. Also, I don’t think that armor would help a lot. It leaves way too much exposed. You’d be better off armoring up with random junk you’d find off a skeleton. Don’t know why you’d wear it, honestly, I mean come on, we can see your underwear without even trying.”

Bon Bon glared at the small man before she raised a fist and bopped him over the head, his feet breaking through the ground as if he were a nail hammered into place.

“Excuse you, this style we wear is inspired by the great goddesses’ attire, mine modelled after the Goddess of War herself,” Bon Bon said.

“Maybe they wore it because their skin was impervious, not because it was functional,” Sam responded. “Also, I feel like that should have hurt more than it did.”

“What’re they talking about?” Lyra asked in confusion.

“It’s a long story,” Mike sighed. “Anyways the reason he said that is because armor where we’re from isn't this skimpy. It’s focused more on protection.”

“Your world sounds weird,” She added, making Mike’s eye twitch before he sighed. “Besides, when we fight one another, it’s supposed to be a test of skill, not a brutal showcase of bloodlust. It’s about how you can disarm and disable your opponents in a fight, not outright killing them. I could go on with a lecture, but I feel like a Guild’s Guide is what you need to read and understand it.”

“Anyways, you said someone at this guild might be able to help us?” Mike asked.

“Well, there might be somepony. We don’t really know many mages or wizards apart from those that frequent the Guild, and even then only a couple really fit the bill on the whole, ‘summoning aliens’ kind of skill level.”

“So do you guys have one on you?” Mathias asked.

“No, but we can go to the guild so you can pick one up,” Bon Bon followed up, as she's walking away from the group. “So are you coming or what?”

“Well, we don’t exactly have a choice, do we?” Zander said. “I say we just go with it and fly by the seat of our pants to wherever we end up.”

“Yeah, let’s see where this goes,” Sam added. “Not like there’s anything keeping us here. A wrecked house is a wrecked house, not like something’s gonna take it.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever. Let’s just go, I guess,” Matt said.

“True,” Mike added as they went with the girls, towards the guild.

As they walked through the town, they saw that it reminded them of what looked like a standard fantasy starter town. Every house was two stories tall, made with wood and had thatch roof lining. They were all laid out spacious enough for ponies to gather and set up tables or even a sparse few stalls between them, selling off random trinkets and goods. They continued to walk along the cobblestone paths, eventually making way to a large roundabout with a river flowing from another end of the town to what looked like a castle in the center of the place. In the middle of the roundabout was a massive tree with windows and balconies all over its upper half, as if they had carved their way into a living tree and made it a home, complete with lanterns and magic symbols decorating it. As they kept walking, more and more ponies started to notice the four men walking down the streets. Some stared only for a second before returning to whatever they were doing, but some kept watch. The guys couldn’t help but stare either, as almost all of the ponies they were passing were scantily clad mares in maiden dresses or far too casual clothes that hid only slightly more than what Bon Bon and Lyra were wearing. Of the few stallions they’d seen, they were always surrounded by mares at all times, and one was even being carried by a pair of mares.

“This place is… uh,” Zander started, trailing off as he stared at a mare whose short skirt hid nothing while she weeded her garden.

“Yeah, I mean, there’s no walls for fortifications against enemy attacks, no sentry towers, they haven’t even raised the dirt to give themselves a height advantage!” Sam said, shaking his head. “It’s like they’re actually begging for this place to get sieged.”

“Pretty sure that’s not what’s weird here,” Matt said, watching a mare chopping wood, her upper half naked and coated with sweat while she smiled a predatory grin at him.

“Why do all these mares have such skimpy clothes?” Mike asked Lyra. “This isn’t normal where we’re from.”

“Well, there was once a time where Mares fought for the opportunity to secure a mate when the Early World was still in the Times of Chaos, so most mares wore their clothes and armor this way to prove that they were more attractive and get stallions to notice them more, while also intimidating any rivals,” Lyra explained. “If a mare shows off that she’s got wider hips and bigger breasts that can start and support a family, then it attracts a stallion to something comforting, so all mares started to follow in those hoofsteps. Eventually, it became the norm. Even to this day, however, we’re still cursed by Eris and Cosmos to have a permanent shortage of stallions in the world. So essentially, Chaos magic is to blame, and we’ve just accepted it since.”

“Huh. That’s a… very detailed answer,” Mike said.

“I’ll be honest, I kept failing Ancient History classes at my old Adventurer’s school so I hypnotized myself to remember the lessons word-for-word,” Lyra said sheepishly.

“That’s scary,” Mike added.

“Kinda weird. I mean, why curse a race to have less guys around? What’s even the point? There’s still going to be guys, so why not just cut out the middleman and kill everything? What was stopping them from just burning the whole world down and moving to the next?”

“They were Chaos Gods, so they wanted to laugh and cause chaos,” Lyra said. “Apparently they wouldn’t find much enjoyment in outright slaughter, only situations that they themselves found humorous.”

“Man, Chaos Gods suck in every dimension.”

“Yeah, I guess they do.”

“Whelp, there’s the Guild,” Bon Bon said.

The group approached a massive congregation of buildings, all brick and mortar stacked up three stories high with at least a ten meter clearance around all sides from the nearest road or cottage. It was sectioned off into major sections, one open with a market selling food, weapons, bikini armor and stange books. Another was lined with stained-glass windows with lights glowing inside, an occasional ‘boom’ coming from within. The main building had a crest depicting the sun and moon in a yin-yang fashion, with large brass letters spelling out, “Ponyville Guild.”

“So this is the guild you mentioned earlier,” Mike asked Lyra and Bonbon.

“Yeah, this is the main guild that we have in town,” Bonbon followed up with pride. “There are several other adventure guilds across Equestria when it comes to other adventurers. Some are friendly while others can be straight assholes.”

“How much of an asshole is the worst guild?” Zander asked.

“Let’s just say that if they represented the best of us, your friend would’ve been right saying that the Chaos Gods should’ve killed us off,” Bon Bon said.

“Okay, we’ll take your word for it,” Mike said as they followed the girls inside of the building.

When they walked in, they were met with cheering, songs and banter of a multitude of ponies in the Guild’s main foyer. There were tables lined up with ponies talking or eating with one another, a board where many different groups were looking at papers. Of the ponies there, there were barely a few scarce stallions here and there, all the mares wearing skimpy armor of many different kinds. Some wore wrappings around their breasts that didn’t cover anything else, some wore robes that weren’t closed or didn’t reach past their hips, and some wore what looked like bikinis made of cloth with bits of metal covering only the barest parts of their privates, though the gloves and shin-guards they wore were all well made and somewhat normal, even the shoulder coverings were somewhat decent.

“Okay, whatever Goddesses you ponies were following to model your armor after was clearly an exhibitionist,” Zander said, eyeing up the mares. “Not that anyone’s complaining, though. I know I’m gonna like it here.”

“It offers no protection and bothers me greatly,” Sam said.

“So everyone dresses like this? Seriously?” Matt said.

“We mentioned that on the way earlier,” Bon Bon added.

“I didn’t want to believe it,” Matt responded.

“How dare you,” Lyra exclaimed. “You shouldn’t just disrespect the way we do things here. You should atone for what you said at the church, lest you invoke the goddesses’ wrath.”

“Okay sheesh, no need to get your panties in a twist,” Zander said as he didn’t want to deal with her yelling.

“Like I said, it’s not normal back home,” Mike replied with a sigh. “It’s just gonna take a while to get used to.”

“Damn, you guy wouldn’t happen to have a bathroom around here do you?” Zander asked. “I kinda need to drain the snake.”

“Drain the what now?” Lyra asked in confusion.

“You know, take a piss,” Zander said. “What, never heard that before?”

“Sorry, we just haven’t heard many stallions use euphemisms like that,” Bon Bon said. “Yeah, you’ll find the Guild’s restrooms over in the lounge, this way,” she said, motioning for him to follow.

“Okay,” Mike said as they followed the girls to the lounge room.

Inside, there were tables of ponies playing card games, pool tables and dart boards. The room was pleasantly dim and a nearby pair of ponies were playing string instruments, filling the room with calming music. A bar with hundreds of bottles of ale, wine and whiskey sat at the far end with the stools full of adventurers. Above the bar was a sign depicting different colored charms and the prices relevant to those colors. At the far end was a split in the wall, the two sections labelled off by the symbols for male and female, although there was no door to keep anyone out.

“Okay, restrooms are over there and you guys can just hang here for a bit while we rest before our next job,” Lyra said with a smile as she and Bonbon walked away.

“Okay, I’ll be back,” Zander followed up as he walked away from the guys. The three looked around and sat at a nearby table, looking around at all the ponies while a few stared at them.

“God, I hate it here already,” Matt said. “Everybody’s staring and I feel like they’ll start stabbing at us at any second.”

“Oh relax,” Sam said. “If they were gonna stab us, I’m sure that they’d already have. Besides, if an alien walked into class one day I’m pretty sure everybody would stare at it too.”

“Well we’re technically the aliens here to a world of busty bombshell pony girls and not to mention they all wear skimpy armor and go on adventures to who knows where in this crazy world,” Mike replied with a dull stare. “What’s next, and how long are we gonna be stuck here?”

“I think that, until we can find out how to reverse whatever that book did, we’re going to be here for a while,” Mathias said. “Considering the book burned up the moment that… spell, for a lack of a better word, was cast, it’s going to be more or less a guessing game. If worst comes to worst… we might be stuck here forever.”

“So then we start anew!” Sam said happily. “Come on, how many people have always dreamed about waking up in a new world where they could do anything! We could become adventurers and do cool stuff, or maybe we could build some stuff from Earth and make a fortune. World’s ours to make whatever we want, so why question a good opportunity?"

“What’s this about dreams?” Zander asked as he got out of the bathroom.

“Something we were just talking about for if we’re stuck here or not,” Mathias said with a sigh.

Zander was about to ask what about it, when they suddenly heard a loud scream from a mare coming from the entrance.

“Move out of the way!” she screamed, running past several ponies.

The mare was a tall, white Unicorn with a purple mane and tail, wearing skimpy black cloth-like armor. Her arms were covered in fingerless gloves while she wore thigh-high stockings with the top and bottom ends clamped with metal pieces. She wore a sarong that matched the rest of her set, though it was covered with a print of three light blue diamonds, hanging over her thighs but leaving her black thong exposed. Her topwear consisted of a cape that went from her shoulders to the small of her back, and a bra-like piece that held her massive breasts in place, real diamonds in the center of each cup.

“Please stand aside, I don’t have much time!” she screamed, her clothes wafting with smoke as a hissing sound followed her.

“What’s up with her?” Mike asked in confusion. “Also what’s that hissing noise?”

She ran past their table, the group seeing her clothes being burned away by something before she tripped. Her bra and panties burned away when she hit the ground, leaving her completely exposed for a moment before she covered herself and got up. While she was getting up, she ended up mooning the guys before she ran for the mare’s restroom.

Jaws dropped, three of them said nothing before Sam talked.

“Hope whatever that was isn’t airborne.”

“Nah, just a run in with some Slimes.”

They turned around to see another mare approaching, this one an orange mare with large, defined muscles and easily a head taller than most everyone in the tavern. She wore red shin guards and leather-like gauntlets. Around her hips were large plates held on by belts around her waist and very thick thighs, the plates bearing three red apples on either side, neither of which covered her small black panties. Her chest was even more impressive than her muscles, held in place by a chainmail bikini, struggling to stay put without snapping.

“Sorry y’all had to see that,” She said as she picked up the burning clothes left by her friend while she talked to them.

“Rarity got herself into a tango with some slimes for eating the gold from our last quest. Course, they didn’t take too kindly to that, so they made a meal out of her armor. Well, one did after she took out the rest.”

“Hey, we heard screaming,” Bonbon said as she and Lyra showed up again. “What happened?”

“Tall, blonde, and beautiful over here mentioned that one of her friends got jumped by slime and made a meal of her clothes,” Zander said with a smile.

“Hey now, just cause my friend back there gave y'all a show doesn’t mean you’re gettin’ any o’ this. Ah ain’t one fer stress relievin’ much as I am fer stress inducin’,” the orange mare said with a grin. The guys blushed in response hearing that, and she chuckled seeing their reaction. “Anyways, I’m gonna go get Rarity’s armor and weapons fixed up, before we head out again.”

She walked away leaving the guys stunned at what she said and Lyra and Bon Bon had to drag the guys back to the lounge to shake them out of that.

“Sorry about that,” Lyra responded. “That was Applejack and Rarity you saw earlier and Applejack has a tendency to say what’s on her mind when anyone compliments about how she looks.”

“Saw that firsthand,” Mike responded with a sigh. “Anyways, when they described gold they got earlier, what did they mean by that?”

“Well, the Guild puts up requests given to us by ponies in town or in nearby villages, holds onto their money and dolls out the payment to whoever can complete the task. The Guild takes 5-20 percent depending on when it’s completed and how much the reward’s worth, but it’s a standard method to handing out quests,” Bon Bon explained.

“So they pay out with actual gold and not paper currency?” Mathias asked.

“Why would we trade paper?” Bon Bon said. “That seems pointless.”

“Yeah, try trading imaginary numbers with plastic cards,” Sam mumbled.

“Well, if you’re looking to get started, it’s probably for the best you guys head down to the Guild Receptionist at the entrance. She could hook you guys up with some ID and a quest or two to get the ball rolling.”

“There’s also the guild master who can probably guide you to the training grounds out, but be warned; you piss him off or you’ll be in more trouble than that later.,” Lyra added with a wink.

“What did she mean by that?” Mike asked.

“Probably meant that he’ll push our shit in so far we’d taste it for weeks,” Sam said. “Wait, what about that wizard you said you’d help us find?”

“Well from the looks of it, we didn’t see her when we got back,” Lyra said. “So either she’s not in town or had some royal business to take care of,”

“We can talk about this later, we still got a bugbear invasion to deal with as well as getting our gear fixed and ready for action,” Bonbon added. “Later you guys.”

“Yeah, see ya,” she added. Both ponies left leaving the guys alone.

“Okay, looks like we’re stuck here for now, so we should probably see who this receptionist is as well as the guild master,” Mathias brought up.

“Sounds like a plan,” Mike added.

They got up and left the tavern, walking back the way Bon Bon showed them to the main entrance, though now when they got there they saw the most massive pony thus far. He was easily almost nine feet tall, with muscles larger than Sam if he curled into a ball. He wore heavy plated armor, strapped down to his practically explosive muscles. His fur was stark white and his mane and tail blonde, cut extremely short. He also wore a loincloth, with a significant bulge hiding beneath it. His armor’s chest piece was carved with two dumbbells, and instead of a weapon at his side he had large brass knuckles that covered his hands. There was also an engraving that said Bulk the Guild master on a gold plate in his shoulder piece.

“And you said that they walked in with Bon Bon and Lyra?” he asked to a mare, his voice intensely garbled.

“Geez, who is that guy?” Mike said in shock and confusion.

“He looks like he can rip us in half,” Mathias said with fear on his face. “Like he’s been hardened by battle all his life.

“You’re telling me,” Zander added. “I’d hate to be the sorry sap who pissed him off.”

“I’m sure of it, there was one with grey and purple scales up to his neck too,” the mare at the desk said. “Oh, I think that’s them over there,” she said, pointing to the group.

“Oh shit,” Sam said. “I knew I should have put on some pants.”

The massive stallion walked up to the group, staring down his own massive pectorals at them while Sam pushed his way to the front.

“Guys, run. I can buy you… fifteen seconds. Should be enough to get a head start.”

“Hey, calm down little guys,” he said. “Not gonna hurt ya, just wanted to get to know the new guys. I’m Guildmaster Bulk Biceps, but most call me Dumbbell,” he said, extending a hand.

“Oh. Well, nice to meet ya, then!” Sam said, going in for the handshake. “I’m Sam, and these are my friends, Mike with the weird arm, Zander with the grey hair, and Mathias with the blonde. Nice place you’ve got here, by the way.”

“Thank you! It’s nice to know that some ponies, or rather creatures, can appreciate the work we’ve put in here. I like to think we’ve all pitched in, though, and without every creature’s contribution, this place wouldn’t be half of what it is now. It’s not as fancy as Canterlot’s or as impressive as Stalliongrad’s, but it’s what the creatures of Ponyville and the area around here have got, and we’ve made it work.”

“Wow, you seem pretty nice, despite your intimidating size,” Mathias followed up.

“He’s used to that by now,” A mares’ voice called out, getting the guys attention. A mare was behind the desk at the reception as she waved at them. Long, flowing grey hair fell from the tan mare’s head, red glasses framing her eyes. She wore a tight vest with the top few buttons undone, an ascot hanging just over her large cleavage. Her legs were clad with tight boots while thigh-high fishnets reached up to her ass, a miniskirt hanging over her supple cheeks while a symbol of a scroll with a feather pen was imprinted on her bottom.

“Hello, I’m Mayor Mare,” she said, bowing her head. “I’m the mayor of Ponyville and acting receptionist for the Guild.”

“Hello,” The guys responded with a smile towards her.

“Sorry about not seeing you boys earlier,” Mayor Mare replied. “Lyra and Bonbon told me what happened earlier.”

“It’s fine,” Mike replied. “We kinda got spooked by the big guy over here.”

“Oh don’t let his looks fool you,” She said with a smile. “He may be strong, but he’s a gentle giant through and through. It’s why he’s my most trusted Guildmaster here.”

“We can see that,” Zander added. “He still looks like he can tear us as if we were made of paper.”

“Bah! Good luck getting him to try that,” she dismissed with a laugh. “Nopony or creature has been able to tick him off in years. I knew him since he was a recruit at the Guild. Though he’s quite a fearsome looking stallion, he’s actually very slow to violence, and sometimes he needs a little extra encouragement to get the job done,” she added with a sway of her hips as she walked from behind the counter. “So, what's your reason for being within the guild?” She added bending over giving the guys a good view of her cleavage.

“Uh… well, I can think of a couple good ones,” Zander said, staring into her chest.

Mathias punched his arm to snap him out of it.

“We’re looking for a wizard who might be able to help us find a way home and we were told that she’d be here,” Mike said.

“Yeah, we found these amulets and read a book and suddenly our house managed to teleport to the outskirts of this town,” Mathias said. “And they kinda look like what our friend Sam has embedded into his chest,” he said, patting the medallion in Sam’s chest.

“Medallions?” She asked in confusion. “What do they look like exactly?”

The guys then described how each of the medallions looked like and she only looked even more confused.

“I’m afraid that I can’t help you boys with that,” She replied with a sigh, crossing her arms under her chest, hefting up her bosom.

“Why’s that?” Mathias asked.

“She’s not in town right now,” She replied. “Also I don't even know the story behind those medallions. The wizard who may be able to help you left on royal business a few hours ago, so she won’t be back in town for another few weeks.”

“Aw what?” Mike said in annoyance. “Well that’s just great.”

“That is hilariously inconvenient,” Sam said, chuckling. “Oh man.”

“Well, what now?” Mathias asked in annoyance.

“Maybe Twilight Sparkle could find a solution,” she said with a smile. “PHer and her little raid party can probably help you boys as well.”

“Who's that?” Mathias asked.

“She’s one of our best adventurers as well as her raid party being powerful maidens,” Mayor Mare replied. “You can look around the guild to try and find her or a member of her party that may be able to help you since items like what you were describing earlier aren’t really my jurisdiction.”

“So where do we find them?” Zander asked.

“One sec,” she said as she went behind her counter again and picked up what looked like four cards. “You boys can use these to get around the guild.”

The cards in question were small, brown slips that were about as thick as a credit card but felt almost like stone. There were blank spaces labelled to show their names, races, classes and stats, as well as a square for their pictures. While they were holding them, the cards glowed in their hands as light ran up and down their bodies. Once the light faded, the cards started to carve out the information themselves.

“Whoa, that’s awesome!” Sam said.

“Yep, the cards react to whoever touches them, and it’s how you can freely get around the guild in certain places,” She added with a smile. “As you get stronger, the cards change color and the star level on them increases. There are ten ranks total, but you’re currently on the zero ranking right now.”

“What's rank zero then?” Mathias asked.

“Scrap ranking,” she said with a sigh.

“Well don’t feel so down, guys,” Bulk said. “I’ve been Rank 4, Gold, for most of my career. It’s pretty tough to rank up these days. Most of the high-rank Adventurers out there barely make it past Rank 6.”

“Wait, what’s the ranking system then if Gold is so low?” Zander asked.

“Well, it goes Scrap, Wood, Bronze, Silver, Gold, Pearl, Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald, Topaz, and Platinum,” Mayor Mare added. “Also, when you rank up there are certain areas that only you can be able to access when you pick a specific class.”

“There are classes we pick?”

“And you boys can only pick one,” She added, with a wave. “Anyways, good luck with finding the girls, you’ll love them and I’m sure they can help you boys out.”

“Okay,” Mike said as they left the front desk. “Okay guys, since she said that Twilight or members of her party may be around, we should split up to cover more ground. We can meet up back at the front desk just in case.”

“Whelp, in that case, I’m gonna grab a bite. Haven’t eaten since yesterday. I think. I can’t tell how long we were out for in the house, but whatever I’m starving,” Sam said, walking away. “Later guys, good luck!”

The guys eventually split up and they each check out the specific areas around them.

Author's Note

Okay, with that out of the way, the guys will be meeting with the great adventurers of the Ponyville guild. Let's see how things are playing out in the next chapter.