Caring Hearts led the five towards her shop, the red brick building next to the armor shop, and were guided in by the large mare.

“Well, come on in, boys,” she said, holding the door open for them.

As they walked in, they saw that the shop was massive, a room cordoned off with a grindstone and forge, a chimney poking sideways to keep the smoke from polluting the shop. All of the walls were lined with weapons, some of them framed in glass cases with portraits depicting great battles they partook in. The counters between the walls and the main floor were lined with glass cases, filled with smaller weapons, like brass knuckles, daggers and compact crossbows. On the walls were swords of varying lengths and widths, axes, hammers and great mauls. In the main area of the floor were test dummies, one covered in scales, one in steel plate and one coated in muck.

“Wow, this is impressive,” Zander said.

“No kidding, how many weapons do you guys have here?”

“Anyone who’s looking to buy my gear of course,” She said with a smile when she walks behind the counter. “Anyways, I know you boys are here to sample weapons here, so why don’t we get started?”

“Depends on what you have,” Mike asked as he and the guys walked up to the counter.

“Well, I don’t want to sound rude, but I’d start with something a bit smaller than what you see most mares carrying around these days,” she said with a smile, reaching into one of the glass displays. “Given you colts’ sizes, I’d say it’d be safer to start you off with a weapon closer to your size, like a shortsword.”

She pulled out a 2 foot long bronze sword, about 3 inches wide. The handle was wrapped with a dirty, spotted leather and the blade’s edges sported a few chips and dull spots.

“That, uh…” Matthias said, pointing at it, “looks like a…”

“Piece of junk?” Zander finished.

“Ye- I mean, come on! Don’t say it like that!” Matthias said, glaring at his friend.

“To be fair, it’s quite true,” Caring Hearts said. “This is a little trinket I use to help gauge the strength and dexterity of some clients. Once you test it out, I can check the dummy to see what kind of fighting style you’d be better at.”

“She has a point,” Mike added with a sigh.

Matthias grabbed the handle and pulled it out of her hands, holding it vertically.

“Well, I kinda…” he said, waving it around for a bit while the guys backed off. “I kinda like how this feels.”

“Well, that’s a good sign so far,” she said. “Now, go ahead and test it, sweetie.”

Matthias turned to the dummy closest to them and approached it. Testing a few swings, he rolled his shoulders and his neck to limber up before he took a wider stance. With a shout, he swung with all of his might and managed to dig a sizable gash in the dummy.

“Well, that’s another good sign,” Caring said, walking up and examining the dummy’s damage. “Cut about six inches deep, could have easily done plenty of damage to most common beasts. I’d say you’re a bit more lenient towards Dex, but… wait,” she said, squinting at the hole.

“Is something wrong?” Mike asked.

“Did Matt mess up again?” Sam asked.

“What!? The fuck do you mean. ‘Again’!?” Matt said, jabbing a finger onto Sam’s scaled chest.

“You read the spell that brought us here.”

Matt withdrew his finger as he scowled at Sam.

“He’s got you there,” Zander said.

“Well this is amazing!” Caring Hearts said.

“What’s amazing?” Matthias asked.

“It looks like you’ve got a knack for passive enchantments, sweetie!” she said, rolling the dummy up to them. “Lookie here,” she pointed to the sizzling scar on the dummy. “This target was enchanted to weave itself back together after taking a hit, but when you swung that sword, you managed to turn the spell against itself! You cannibalized the magic so that instead of repairing the dummy, the cut’s gonna keep going until it’s burrowed all the way through!”

Matthias blinked and looked at his hands in shock.

“Holy shit!” he said. “Is it going to eat my hands!?”

“No, no, that’s not how that works. You managed to reverse the effects of the spell itself, not cast a Flesh-Eaters swarm. Goddesses know that if you could and, guessing by the reaction, this is the first time you’ve done it, you’d probably have killed us all by now.”

“That’s pretty amazing on your first try,” Button Mash said in surprise. “A reversal enchantment’s pretty rare to find on anything, since it applies on contact, but to innately pass it onto an unenchanted weapon might be unheard of.”

“Hey, you think if you swing that at Sam it’ll split his dragon half from his human half?” Zander asked.

“What!? No way, you’re not splitting me!” Sam yelled, grabbing his tail. “I don’t need dragon fangs to bite your knees off if you try!”

“I wasn’t going to, Jesus, calm down!” Matthias said.”

“Seems someone can’t take a joke,” Mike added. “But then again, you don’t want to lose that form too soon, do you?”

“No way! I never have to wear anything again, and I’m the color of my Homebrew Ork chapter! Oh, and the tail. I don’t know how to use it, but I’ll figure it out one day.”

“Geez, I was kidding,” Mathias said, trying to get Sam to relax.

Caring Hearts tapped Matt on the shoulder, drawing their attention.

“If you don’t mind, sweetie, I’d like to see your friends give it a go,” she said, patting a new dummy she took out.

“Oh, right, uh, Mike you’re up,” he said, handing the blade to him.

“Okay,” Mike said, taking it. “This is, uh… really light.”

“Well, try swinging it at the dummy, deary,” Caring said, stepping back behind the counter.

Mike rolled his shoulders and took a batting stance in front of the dummy. He reeled back and swung hard. His mutated left hand swung faster than his right, ripping the sword out of the other hand and smashing it into the dummy. The blade nearly chopped the whole thing in half, smoke pouring out of it while the blade was glowing.

“Oh, goodness!” Caring said, walking up to examine the damage. “It looks like you can overheat a blade, that’ll be a handy skill in dark places. And you kept a good grip while slashing clean through. Definitely a good balance on strength and dex, I’d say you could hold… a greatsword, but you’d probably want to start with something light and comfortable for the class, like an old Claymore I have on the shelf,” she said, pointing to a three and a half foot long blade with a silver handle and guard.

“Huh… again, like Nero,” Mike whispered.

“Hey, maybe we should see if they have any guns,” Zander said, bumping Mike with his elbow. “See if you could get a Blue Rose while we’re at it.”

“A gun?” Caring asked. “Oh, well, if that’s what you’re after, I’ve got just the thing!”

Caring bent over and dug through a crate before pulling out a dusty, rotting box. She blew a cloud of dust off of it before putting it down on the surface. Opening it, she showed off a large revolver with two barrels.

“Wha… I was fucking joking,” Zander said, jaw agape at the sight.

“Yeah, this little trinket’s been in my family’s inventory longer than most towns have been in Equestria,” she said. “I got no idea how they crafted it, or how to get it to work. I’ll cut you a deal, sugar. If you can get this little diddy to work, it’s yours to keep. It’s not selling anytime soon, so it’s just more space for me.”

“Wait a second,” Matthias said, “you guys have guns in this world?”

“Well, yes,” Caring said.

“Wha… then why do you people go around swinging axes and swords wearing bikinis you call, ‘armor’, when you could, oh, I don’t know, just shoot the monsters with fucking Guns!?”

“Well, since you asked so politely,” she sneered, “it’s because it’s expensive. Getting a stock of munition capable of taking down some low to mid-level monsters, like a Timberwolf, costs nearly four hundred bits for only around thirty shots.”

Zander whistled. “Damn, that’s pretty high.”

“Even then, there’s no guarantee that the bullet would penetrate any charms or wards some monsters accumulate over time. Magic nullifying rounds are extremely rare, since they need to mold a heap of Blankstone into a proper size. Not to mention that your options for firing the thing are also limited. One the one hand, blackpowder ignition. It’s easy to learn and anypony, or creature, can pick it up and learn it at any age, but the powder’s expensive. Plus, they don’t tend to enchant those. The other option is magically-fueled firing mechanisms that pour magic into a cylinder lined with different matrices that charge a shot and launch it. But then you run into the issue of having to train to focus magic into it, keeping it from passively sucking out your mana while it’s holstered, and the fact that so few species can actually use it that those kinds of models aren’t even sold to anypony that doesn’t have a horn, they’re about as useless as a doorstop without one.”

“So… what do you use guns for if they’re so expensive?” Matthias asked.

“Well, not many ponies use them. Sometimes a Griffon Noble House buys some stock for their personal guards, or some Unicorn purists pocket whatever mana-fueled models they can find. Had to fight off at least seven other ‘customers’ from robbing this little thing, so I’m quite eager to get it out of my mane.”

Mike looked between his demon hand and the gun several times before slowly reaching out to it. His claws wrapped around the leather-coated grip, cool to the touch, and hefted it out of the box. The weight felt natural in his hands as he examined it from all angles. Popping the cylinder out, he was surprised to see that it was just an empty shell. Snapping it back in, he pulled back on the hammer.

“Good luck trying to get it to work, every mare in my family’s been trying to-”

CLICK

The gun glowed in Mike’s grip, illuminated with blue light as a tingle ran up his arm. Fire spewed from the barrel, bouncing around the shop. Caring Hearts ducked as it flew overhead, Matt got to the ground, Zander pulled out his knife and battered it away while it bounced off of Sam’s forehead before exploding on the half-cut dummy. Blue fire encased the dummy, burning it to a crisp in seconds. Mike looked between the dummy and the gun before looking at Caring Hearts.

“Anyone try pulling the hammer?” he asked. “Jeez, this thing’s got some firepower.”

“Ugh, literally,” Sam said, rubbing his forehead.

“W-well, I am a mare of my word,” she said, pushing the box to Mike. “The thing’s yours, I suppose.”

Mike picked up the box and saw a strap and holster for it. He put the gun in the box and clicked it shut.

“Think I’ll keep it put away for now.”

“Please do,” Sam said.

“You gonna name it?” Zander asked.

“What?”

“You know, Nero had the Blue Rose, Dante had Ebony and Ivory, what’s yours?”

Mike looked at the box’s blank label, the silver frame of the gun dancing in his head like a ghost.

“... Silver Ghost,” he said. “I’ll call it the-”

The box’s label lit up and burned the words into the metal surface, written in cursive.

“... okay, that’s weird.”

“Really? After everything else that’s happened today, that’s what’s weird to you?” Matthias said, raising an eyebrow.

“Okay, so is it my turn, right?” Zander said. “I wanna see what else I can do with this baby!” he said, flicking the knife between his fingers.

“Oh, well, it seems you’ve already found your affinity!” Caring said. “I can see your dex is quite remarkably in tune with the weapon you’ve got. Where did you get it?”

“Oh, well, uh, I got it for two hundred bits down in-”

“Two hundred!?” she shrieked. “Oh, goodness, I could never live with myself if I conned a sweet colt like you out of more of your bits! Oh, don’t worry about trying to buy something from me, sweetie, you’ve already got what you need,” she said with a sincere smile.

Zander sighed as he sheathed the knife. “Great. Got it.”

“Alright, batter up!” Sam said, pulling back with the sword in his hands.

He swung at the-

CLANK

-bent dummy in the back, now with half of a sword stuck in its lower half.

Sam tumbled to the ground as he clutched the broken hilt of the sword while Caring winced.

“Ooooh… well, I can certainly say that you’ve got quite a high strength threshold,” she said.

“I’m sorry I broke your sword,” Sam said, getting up and holding the hilt to her.

“Oh, don’t worry sweetie,” she said, grabbing it. “It’s a couple years old now, it’s bound to have happened at some point! I’ll tell ya what, I’ve got some old bone-fists from my brawling days in the back. I’ll let you have a try at those before I see if they’re a better fit. Stay put, now!”

She walked off into a storage room while Sam started quaking with excitement.

“BONE FISTS!” he half-shouted. “That sounds awesome! And she says it’s a brawling weapon! You know what that means!?”

“That you get excited when someone brings up fists and boning?” Zander said.

“My years of boxing are going to pay off!”

The three exchanged a few looks before Mike rubbed the back of his neck.

“Uh, dude?” Mike said. “You know we’re friends, right?”

“Um… hopefully?” Sam said.

“Right, and as friends, how many times have we been there for you when you lost a fight?”

“All the time! Because you’re all awesome, and I appreciate every second of it.”

“Okay, but how many fights have you come back with a loss from?” Matthias said.

“Uh, well… da-da-da… carry the, four? No, it’s three… or was it six?”

“Dude, you lose all the time and you suck at boxing,” Zander said.

“Zander!”
“The shit, man!”

Mike and Matthias went off on Zander while Sam blinked.

“What? You… you guys think I’m bad at boxing? I mean, I know I’ve lost most of the matches I’ve been in, but-”

“Come on man, name one match you actually won! Hell, you couldn’t even beat us in Mortal Kombat!”

“I mean, yeah, but that’s because I’m always put out of my weight class. Seriously, have you ever tried to fight a three hundred and sixty two pound bear of a man in a cage match? I was lucky I went out in the third round. Besides, if I fought in my recommended class, I could easily win.”

“Against what, sixth graders?”

“Okay, that was uncalled for, dude!” Mike said.

“Well, look at me now!” Sam said, smacking his scaled chest. “I’ve got super scales and dragon strength! This is the ultimate advantage I needed all along! It’s like every failure in boxing’s been leading me to this! Exact! Moment!”

Zander took a good look at Sam again, seeing the wearing hope in his face. He wanted to poke holes in his words, maybe crack another joke, but this was one of the few times he’d seen Sam put on that face. There was no smile, no mirth, just pure sincerity.

“Haa… alright, maybe I’m kind of… being a dick, sorry,” Zander said.

“It’s cool, just… let me at least try this, before we go saying… anything else.”

Caring Hearts came back into the room with a pair of large objects. They were mounds of rounded bones, each one a singular mass with an opening for a sleeve.

“These puppies I forged from the kneecaps of one of the Greater Daemons that attacked a few years ago. Wanted to try them out myself on some unlucky inequine bastard, but I got too busy in the store to go out for another romp. So now, I keep them around in case somepony wants to try their luck at punching. Now please,” she said, handing them off to Sam, “be my guest.”

Sam giggled with great mirth as he slipped his hands into them. He clanked them together a few times before he took a few test swings. Spacing his stance, he eyed the dummy before zoning in on it and winding up a massive slugger hit.

\\\//////

Mrs. Cake sighed as she rubbed her temples, glaring at her irate customer.

“Please, Mrs. Rich,” she growled, “understand that this is an expensive order, and-”

“How could it possibly be that expensive, you knave!?” the pink mare scoffed.

The mare in question was a pink one, with a purple mane and tail. A diamond ring was emblazoned on her flanks, and she stood by her mansion’s door in an immaculate white dress, with diamonds laced along the line of her exposed EE bust and the seams that framed her large hips. By her side was a cart with a tower of gelatin, with strawberries and cherries sprinkled within as it stood nearly a foot over the mare.

“How could a tower of strawberry jam cost nearly three hundred bits!?” Spoiled Rich screeched. “You’re exaggerating the price so you can afford more of those unruly drinks you so love to guzzle down.”

“I haven’t had a drink in nearly six years!” Mrs. Cake said, clenching her fists.

“As if anypony would believe a mare like you would willingly sleep with a stallion like that while sober,” she said, examining her nails. Mrs CAke felt veins popping on her forehead as her right eye twitched.

“How… oh, if you don’t pay for it now, I’ll-”

“You’ll do what!?”

SPLAT

Something crashed into the tower of gelatin, smashing both itself and the tower into Mrs. Rich, toppling her over in a mountain of jam. She screamed and flailed, trying to wipe off the jam from her already soaked dress. The jelly seeped through, clinging to her body and letting her nipples and crotch become visible to all around them. She turned to go back into her mansion, only to smack face-first into a test dummy lodged into the doorway. Spoiled Rich was knocked out on contact, falling to the ground in a limp splash.

Mrs. Cake blinked as she examined the damage to both her client and her food. She shrugged and reached into Mrs. Rich’s purse, withdrawing notes for the bits she needed for the jelly. Before she walked away, she eyed the soaked, jelly coated tits of the rude mare and checked if anypony was watching before she leaned down and pinched her nipples. Mrs. Cake tasted the jelly from her fingers and chuckled as she walked off.

“Consider that my tip.”

\\\//////

The guys gaped as they saw the damage Sam’s punch delivered, the wall blown wide open and part of the shop in ruins.

“Uh… at least no one got hurt? I think,” Sam said, taking off the smoking bone fists.

Caring Hearts stood there with her jaw hanging as Sam placed the gloves on a countertop.

“Wah… wah… wah…” she gasped, gripping the counter.

“I am so, so extremely sorry, ma’am,” Sam said. “I didn’t think I’d hit it that hard, I just-”

“That is astonishing!” Caring Hearts screamed, cupping her cheeks in her hands.

“Uh-”

Sam was scooped up by the mare and he was smothered in her tits, Caring squeezing him as she spun around.

“That was the most amazing showcase of raw power I’ve ever seen!” she said, twirling.

She stopped and let Sam go, putting him on the ground where he coughed up a storm.

“ACK! P-puh-please comb out the loose fur before you do that to someone!” he coughed.

“Oh, sorry, I haven’t groomed in a while, been busy,” she said, blushing. “Either way, that’s the most impressive strength I’ve seen in a novice in my whole life! To think, a small little guy like you can pack a punch like that is something.”

“Ha, well, I don’t mean to brag,” Sam said, polishing his knuckles on his chest, “but I am a man of the ring. I’ve got three years of fighting under my… well, I had a belt, but… scales? Wait, that sounds wrong.”

“Well, I can’t imagine many opponents standing straight after you giving a hit like that!”

“As if he could land a hit in the first place,” Zander muttered.

“I know it’s probably not going to bode well, but, I think-”

“Ma’am, if you’re going to suggest I just take your gloves, I have to decline,” Sam said.

“What? Why, are they too loose? Sleeves too long? Too heavy on the front?” she asked, bending over to get to eye-level with him.

Zander bit back a comment on the last point.

“It just doesn’t feel right, Mrs. Heart. I’m very glad to have tested them out, and I’m extremely flattered by your offer, but… well, we broke a couple of dummies and you’ve already given one of your rarest pieces to my friend,” Sam said, waving to Mike. “It doesn’t sit well in my gut to take them. Plus, I want my first ones to be special. Something I can look at and say, ‘hey, I made this’. You know?”

She smiled warmly and hugged Sam, patting him on the back.

“I know exactly how that feels, Sweetie.”

“... also, I kind of blew that wall open so you’ll probably need the money selling it off for repairs,” Sam said.

Caring chuckled as she got back up.

“Not when you’ve got a couple of stallions that owe you several favors,” she said with a wink. “Now, this has been a fun little romp with you colts, but I’m afraid I need to collect on some debts, so I need to leave now. This place has an enchantment that’ll shock and freeze anypony that’s in here without me present, so I’d suggest leaving for now.”

“Guess that sounds like a plan,” Mike said with a sigh.

“Thanks for letting me give them the tour,” Button said with a smile.

“Sure thing hun,” Caring said with a smile. “Also I do hope you and my daughter can smooth things over,” she added that last part with a wink.

Button blushed and looked away.

“C-come on, let’s go anywhere I don’t have to talk about Tumble,” he said, walking out. The guys followed behind him and when they left, a familiar pegasus stepped into the room.

-Outside-

“Sorry about what happened to her shop,” Mike said to Button who was still trying not to think about Tumble.

“It’s fine, I still can’t believe you guys were able to do what you did back there,” he said in amazement. “If I didn’t know any better, you guys would already be top rank adventurers.”

“We’re still trying to get used to what we’re able to do,” Mathias added. “And, you know, try to learn what it is we can actually do.”

“Yeah, I haven’t seen anything this crazy after that last florida man tried to make a bomb threat in that one store,” Zander added.

“Florida man?” Button asked in confusion. “What is that?”

“It’s a hollow lifeform, something that exists but never truly lives,” Sam said, staring out into the distance. “I will not discuss this further with you, so that you may yet keep your sanity. Only darkness exists on the path… to Florida.”

Button blinked in confusion, turning to the others for any sign of help in understanding.

“Yeah, don’t try to make sense of it,” Matthias said. “Seriously, why’d you even bring that up? I know it’s crazy, but it has… literally nothing to do with anything.”

“Hey, the shop’s wall got blown open, someone made a bomb threat, they’re pretty similar!” Zander said.

“How about we just go home and try and rest for now?” Mike suggested. “It’s been a crazy day and we’re not sure when the girls will get back anyway.”

“True,” Mathias added.

“I don’t think I’ve been to your house,” Button Mash told them. “Is it alright if I check it out?”

“Yeah, absolutely!” Sam said, patting him on the back. “If we’re gonna help each other for that Adventurer’s License stuff then you’re going to need to show us exactly what we’re gonna work on.”

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Like how much muscle definition you have, your endurance, stamina, things like that?” Mike added.

“Oh,” Button said with a downcast expression. “Uh, okay.”

“Okay then,” Mike said as he reached for the doorknob.

The moment Mike’s hand grasped it, the entire door fell off of its hinges, save for the knob which was still in Mike’s hand. Button peered inside and cringed, the sight of their home in such a state doing ill for his hopes.

“You guys… live here?”

“Hey, this place was decent before we got thrown into another universe,” Matt said.

“Not like we did much cleaning before anyways,” Zander said. “Besides, we can get it cleaned up while we’re studying for those exams.”

“I know we’re gonna need to renovate this entire place after what happened,” Mike followed up.

“Yeah, we’ll get right on that with all that money we don’t have,” Matthias said, rolling his eyes as Zander looked to the distance.

The guys walked inside, Mike throwing the door knob into a nearby trash can. Button followed, stepping over a broken fan and the door while Sam and Zander flipped the couch upright. They smacked the cushions, patting them for dust and debris while Mattias went to the kitchen.

“Oh great, of course it’s not running,” he said, holding the door up as the fridge was laid on its side. “Guess we’re not gonna have power anytime soon.”

“So we can scratch off salvaging any electronics,” Mike said, tapping his fingers along the wall. “Guess we should see what kind of books or… anything that doesn’t need electricity, find out what we’ve got left.”

“Meat’s out of the equation,” Matthias said, picking up a dripping bag from the toppled fridge. “Spent $60 on this pack of Filet Mignon to celebrate graduation, but no, can’t have nice things.”

“Wait, you guys had meat in here?” Button asked.

“We did, but with the power out and us freaking out, we didn’t pay it much attention,” Matthias added. “So we’ll have to throw this out and clean out whatever’s spoiled in the fridge.”

“... I think I know a place you could find some more. There’s some vendors in the Guild that have some stuff they hunted for bounties, you can get some variety there.”

“And, how do you know that?” Zander asked, shoving a broken shelf into the corner.

“I wanted to get to know the economics of how low-rank adventurers phase out of field missions, since most vendors tend to be retired around bronze or silver rank, and they make up nearly 70% of a Guild’s income during winter.”

“Well, guess we know why you haven’t passed the physical exam if you spend your time learning that,” Zander said, kicking the TV. “Fucking thing. Now we’re out God knows how much with this setup.”

“We’re not out anything, you stole that from your Ex’s boyfriend,” Matthias said.

“Oh, right,” Zander said, punching the TV off of the wall, making it smash into the remains of the coffee table.

“Smooth,” Mathias said, making Zander glare at him.

“Shut up.”

“Does your world not have magic?” Button Mash asked, getting the attention of the guys.

“Not really. In our world, it’s make believe,” Mike added. “Humanity has evolved with technology, to the point where we use rockets to go to the moon.”

“Wow, that’s… really?” Button said. “So are you guys space warriors?”

“Actually I don’t think we’ve sent a ship up there in decades,” Matthias said. “Pretty sure the last one was an unmanned drone.”

“And we’re not really warriors, just some college students who took a few jobs to make ends meet,” Mike said.

Button nodded solemnly before Sam came up and pat his shoulder.

“So, wanna check out the upstairs?” Sam asked.

“Uh… sure? What’s upstairs?”

“Just our bedrooms and personal stuff. Since we’re here, I kinda wanted to check if some of the stuff I’ve got can… let’s say, give us an edge.”

“What does that-”

Button was yanked up as Sam pulled him up the stairs, the colt tripping as he tried to avoid having his head bashed against the steps.

“And here we go,” Mike said with a sigh.

They went straight ahead when they reached the second floor, walking into a small room with several desks upturned, the floor coated in two thin layers of broken miniatures.

Sam stopped and frowned at the sight.

“Oh. Right.”

“So is this your room?” Button asked.

“Oh, yeah. I uh, spend most of my free time messing with my miniatures. It’s called Warhammer.”

“Warhammer?”

Sam opened a drawer and pulled out several tall, thin books with elaborate art on the cover, each one labelled as a, “Codex”.

“Been collecting them since I started making money in fights. Always wanted to try making full armies, but I don’t think I ever got more than a starter set for most of my factions. Which, now I guess I don’t have anything. Except these Codexes! And the datasheet cards.”

He started opening the sets after handing off a set of Codexes to Button. Curiosity sparked in his eyes as he opened up a Codex for the Orks. Art and images of miniatures were wrapped in massive blocks of text, and Button began to lose himself as he was enraptured with his readings. A page turned, then another, and soon he was flipping through the whole thing rapidly before he closed it.

“That… those things sound like one of the Tides from the Old Times,” Button said.

“Old Times and Tides?” Sam asked. “Is that some ancient history on stuff in Equestria’s past?”

Button didn’t answer, instead moving on to scan through a deck of datasheet cards, his eyes dancing from power to power.

“This… these are incredible! Such detailed workings on rare spells in such a concise and easy to replicate format! You could have entire tomes in these little things! And… let me try this.”

He put the card between his hands and held them together as though he were in a prayer. Closing his eyes, Button focused on the premise of the spell in the card, and channeled his magic into it. The card glowed as Button spoke muted words. A circle was cast around the room before everything became silent.

Sam’s mouth moved as though he were talking, yet no noise was made. Button opened his eyes to see that Sam was yelling, but he couldn’t hear anything. The colt picked up a glass cup and let it drop to the floor. It shattered, yet it made no sound. Button’s face burst into a smile as he apparently cheered, jumping as he hugged Sam.

The ring of magic faded away as sound returned to the two.

“I did it! I cast a spell! I can’t believe it!”

“Oh thank God I thought I was deaf!” Sam said. “Wait, you cast that spell?”

“Yeah! I read it off the card and suddenly I felt as if I should know how to cast it. It’s like… have you ever felt like you forgot something and then when you read about it in passing you remember everything related to it?”

Sam blinked.

“Let’s go with yes.”

“It’s like that. I read the magic in the cards and suddenly I, ‘remembered’ how to cast it. This is amazing! Whatever magic’s in these cards could revolutionize everything we know about-” Button stopped when he saw the card in his hand was burned to a crisp. “Oh. Or they could be a one-time use item.”

Sam dropped the deck he was holding.

“Did… did casting that just burn my card?”

“Sam, I-I’m so sorry, I had no idea that-”

“Hey, hey hey!” Sam said, putting a finger to Button’s lips. “Shhhhh.. It’s fine. I have plenty more. If you want, you can have them.”

“Wait… really? I can keep these!?”

“And the codexes, since they also have datasheets on abilities and Psyker powers.”

“... Is, is there a catch?”

“You still have to help us study for the written tests, and you have to pass your physical without them.”

Button looked between the decks and Sam.

“So I need to prove that I’m worthy of them?”

“Everything except the Daemon and Chaos Space Marine cards.”

“The WHAT!?” he screamed, throwing them at the ground.

“Calm down! We’ve been here a few hours, if Chaos hasn’t used the codex and cards as anchors yet, I think it’s safe to say they’re inert while no one’s channeling magic through them.”

“I guess that’s a good thing,” Button Mash said with a sigh. “Should you at least lock those up just in case?”

“Yeah, probably.”

Button walked outside the room as Sam took the cards and laid them on the ground. He flipped up his mattress and opened a zipper, where he was also hiding his passport, birth certificate, social security card and around $33,000 USD.

“Huh. Why do I keep forgetting that? Oh well, not going to be of much use here,” he said, stuffing the Chaos Codexes and datasheet cards into the mattress.

He caught up with Button and they both went downstairs, Sam jumping down to the floor.

“Hey guys, my Warhammer cards make real magic!” he said.

“Okay Sam, don’t joke around,” Mike said, pretty skeptical of the thing. “I doubt bringing Earth bound items would trigger magical effects.”

“He’s telling the truth,” Button said as he walked forward with one of the cards in hand. “I spoke into one of the cards earlier and triggered a spell, but after that happened it burned up and turned to ash.”

“Yeah, sure,” Mike added. “Anyways, can you at least lift your shirt?”

“Wait why?”

“Like I said, we need to see what muscle definition we’re working with so we can help you out with your physical.”

“Oh, right,” He said with a nervous glance. Button decides to lift his shirt and shows the guys what he had as far as muscle definition goes. That saw that he was pretty thin in the muscle department and Mike sighed. “Well?”

“We got a lot of work ahead of us to help you out kid,” Mike added with a sigh.

“Of course, it’s also about technique and skill,” Zander said, flipping out his knife. “Don’t always need to be stronger, just quicker and smarter. Pretty sure you’ll get the last one down faster than the others.”

“Plus we can be creative with our training to help you out,” Matthias added.

“So how long do we have to help you improve?”

“Uh… about a week?”

The guys were silent before Zander laughed, leaning over to smack his knee.

“Woo! Ah, man, you’re fucked.”

“Hey, we can make some progress!” Sam said. “It’s not like he’s starting from square one, he just needs some… encouragement, you know?”

“Yeah, well, we’ll see how much encouragement it takes before he passes out from exhaustion,” Zander said, walking to the garage door. “I’ll set up some stuff for our workout.”

“I’m going to go outside and see if the house is going to keep standing or if we need to move everything out,” Mike said, grabbing his copies of the house plans he kept in the shoe closet.

“And… I guess I’ll just throw everything out before the place smells,” Matthias said, shovelling the fridge’s contents into a trashcan.

Button sighed as he sat down, his face in his hands.

“What’s the point? It’s not like you guys helping is gonna change anything. I should have just given up and told mom years ago.”

Sam’s face softened at Button’s words. He reached to pat his back before he withdrew his hand, a steely sheen stiffening his features. He disappeared into the kitchen and went through the drawers before pulling out his desired object, returning to Button.

“Button.”

The colt looked up to see Sam wielding a knife, small and only slightly sharpened.

“Uh, what are you-”

Sam moved the knife into his other hand blade-first, striking his palm with the serrated edge. It scraped off of his scales and the two blinked.

“Oh. Shit. Forgot about that,” Sam said before taking the knife to his cheek, cupping his hand to lather it in blood.

“Is, is this a Bloodpact!?” Button said, shock apparent on his face.

“Kinda? Look, when I met the guys, I swore I’d do everything I could to help them run this place. Ever since then, we’ve always made rent, even when I had to challenge our Landlord in a boxing match. I swore to them with this little gesture here, that I’d always be there for them.”

“And… they let you cut their hands too?”

“I mean… no, but they said they appreciated it. And I want you to know, I’m promising you, right here and now, that I’m going to do everything I can to help you make yourself into the hero you want to be.” He reached out his bloodied palm to Button. “Deal?”

Button looked between the strained smile on Sam’s bleeding face and the hand being offered to him. A stranger he’d only met today was willing to bleed for his future, and vowed to help him no matter what. Button’s eyes flashed to the knife and he snatched it from Sam’s hand before he held it in front of him. His mind raced as he slowly drew the blade across his own palm, hissing as it cut him open. Turning to Sam, Button smiled as he slammed his palm against Sam’s own bloody grasp, both of them squeezing their grip as blood dripped to the floor.

“Deal,” Button said, hugging Sam.

While the two hugged it out, neither of them noticed either Sam’s medallion glowing or Button’s shoulder glowing in the identical spot, magic coursing through the colt’s blood as the Blood Oath was officiated.

Author's Note

Sorry about earlier, had to repost this to make a few edits and had to get the word out or this story. It may seem boring right now, but it'll get interesting later down the road. Credit goes to Yoshikage Kira for the chapter and phoenixcolt45, wolfman93, and Israel Yabuki for the ideas.