Get Strawbe-Wrecked

by GeodesicDragon

Rating: teen
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Violence, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Strawberry Sunrise
Length: 2823

A brief recollection of the series of events which took place before and after Applejack smacked Strawberry Sunrise upside the head with a stool.

A brief recollection of the series of events which took place before and after Applejack smacked Strawberry Sunrise upside the head with a stool.

SEQUEL: Strawbe-Retract This
READINGS: Get Strawbe-Wrecked | Strawbe-Rematch and Strawbe-Retract This

Published 2020-06-26 01:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-06-27 15:10:37 UTC

Get Strawbe-Wrecked

Applejack smirked as her hoof made contact with the tree, sending a cascade of apples falling upon Rainbow Dash's head, her cry of shock being replaced with a frustrated groan. As she poked her head out of the top of the fruity pile, she caught sight of Applejack standing in front of her and extracted herself from her prison. Dusting herself off, she began putting the apples into one of the many tubs that had been placed under the trees in the orchard.

"Very funny, Applejack," she said, tossing aside a particularly nasty looking apple. "You're lucky I'm such a good sport, or I'd be bouncing these apples off your big head right now."

Applejack chuckled and moved to another tree. "A 'good sport,' huh?" she asked, slamming her hind legs into her target. "Need I remind you about all the stunts you went and pulled durin' the Running of the Leaves that one time?"

"And need I remind you that it wasn't just me doing that?" Rainbow Dash retorted. "Besides, we've matured a lot since then and moved on; I'm a Wonderbolt, and you're a successful business pony."

"You ain't that mature, RD," Applejack replied. "Ya still like yer pranks; remember last Nightmare Night, when you rigged up those tar and feather machines in the town square?"

"Yeah, I do." Rainbow Dash sighed. "Though I've gotta say that Princess Luna was such a good sport about it..." She stifled a chuckle. "I heard it took her three weeks to wash all the tar out."

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Ya just got lucky, that's all," she said. "Why, if'n it had been me who got caught up in that machine, I'd have been madder than a bag of rattlesnakes."

Dash waved a forehoof dismissively. "Puh-leeze, AJ," she scoffed. "I hate to say it, but you're not exactly the angry type. I mean, sure, you might raise your voice, but you don't get 'angry' angry."

Applejack narrowed her eyes. "And what is that supposed to mean exactly?" she demanded. "Are you saying I'm a pushover?"

"No, I'm not," Dash replied. "Think about it, AJ; when was the last time you got so mad, you felt like punching somepony in the face?"

Applejack looked shocked. "Well... you..." she paused for a moment to take a deep breath and regain her composure. "I would never want to hurt somepony like that!" She stomped a hoof into the dirt.

"Then you've never been angry angry." Dash's expression darkened. "Me, on the other hoof? Well, when Lightning Dust put Scootaloo in danger for the sake of her own image, I wanted to beat her so bad her descendants would feel it. It was only because Scootaloo was with me that I kept my anger in check."

Applejack put a hoof to her chin in thought. "Well, I can remember one time when I was really mad," she said "It was when Rarity had me as a judge fer that there fashion show she was doing, and tried to make me realise that I was being mean by takin' me ta see a friend of hers called Strawberry Sunrise."

"I've heard of her." Dash nodded. "Let me guess, Rarity asked her to tell you her thoughts about apples, you didn't like what she had to say, and that's when you realised you'd been a plothead?"

Applejack nodded. "I was furious, but as soon as I realised Rarity was right, I cooled off and we got the show back on track," she replied. "But, the thing is... that was weeks ago, and I've seen Strawberry Sunrise a lot since then; she's been comin' to my stall at the market and insultin' my product." She sighed. "I just ignore her fer the sake of mah customers, but there's a part of me that wants to say somethin', or she's just gonna keep doin' it!"

"Well, you know what to do, right?" Dash asked. "The next time she visits your stall, you're gonna get angry angry." She grinned mischievously. "Make it seem as though you're gonna hit her and I guarantee that she'll never try to bother you again."

"I guess." Applejack nodded. "But what about my reputation?"

Dash shrugged. "Ponies get mad, it happens," she replied. "Besides, she's been riling you up so much, nopony will blame you for finally snapping and giving her a mouthful right back."

"All right then," Applejack said. "I'll do it." She looked around the orchard. "In the meantime, these apples ain't gonna harvest themselves, so let's get back ta work." Dash groaned and she chuckled heartily. "Ya ain't got anypony ta blame but yerself, RD; shoot, maybe next time we play horseshoes, you'll gamble with actual money, and not yer days off?"

The only response she got was a rotten apple to the back of the head, which was followed by Rainbow Dash blowing a raspberry.

A few days later, Appejack was at her stall in Ponyville's market square; the prime location gave her the lion's share of customers, as well as shelter from the sun beating down on them. As she served her customer, a female donkey with an abundance of fur, she kept a wary eye out for the arrival of Strawberry Sunrise.

"That'll be ten bits, please." she said, wrapping up some apples and placing the money in a box which sat on the ground next to the stool she was sitting on. "Thank ya kindly fer yer custom, Jenniefur; here's hopin' that mah apples will help ya win that baking contest."

Jenniefur giggled. "I have no doubt that they will, Applejack," she replied. "I'll be sure to save you some of my winning entries." She put the apples in her saddlebags. "Speaking of which, I'd better go if I want to make it to my train." She set off, waving to Applejack as she did so. "See you in a few days, Applejack!"

Applejack waved back. "Good luck, Jenniefur!" she said jovially. "Not that yer gonna need it, of course!"

"Ew, somepony is actually going to cook with those things?" the voice was tinged with disgust. "There's no way she's going to win."

Applejack's mood evaporated in an instant as Strawberry Sunrise walked in front of her stall with a malevolent grin on her face, eating from a punnet of strawberries; each one was placed on her tongue and swallowed with an audible "Mmm!"

"Strawberry Sunrise." Applejack looked at the clock on the front of Town Hall. "Right on time, as per usual."

Strawberry Sunrise smiled sweetly and ate another strawberry. "I'm just being a friendly neighbour," she replied. "I'm always interested in learning how many gullible ponies you duped into purchasing your disgusting, mealy, worm-filled monstrosities."

Applejack grit her teeth and shut her eyes; in her head, she could hear Rainbow Dash's voice repeating "The next time she visits your stall, you're gonna get angry angry." over and over again.

"Closing your eyes won't make me go away, you know," Strawberry Sunrise said. "Mind you, whenever I close my eyes, I often find myself wishing that you would go away."

Applejack opened her eyes and snarled, her nostrils flaring with each breath she took. "Now you listen here, you Celestia-damned bag of manure!" she said. "I swear by all that is sacred, if you don't quit flappin' yer gums, I'm gonna—" Her attention was drawn to the stool she was sitting on; she looked at it, then at Strawberry Sunrise, then at the stool, then at Strawberry Sunrise again.

"You're gonna what?" Strawberry Sunrise seemed amused by Applejack's sudden outburst. "Do tell me, Applesmack."

Applejack shrugged. "Ah, to Tartarus with it." She got off the stool, picked it up, and slammed it into the side of Strawberry Sunrise's head, sending her crashing to the ground. Discarding the broken stool, she turned her attention to the horrified ponies in front of the stall, dusted herself off, and cleared her throat. "Next!"

Author's Note

Inspired by the cover image; apologies to TJPones for this interpretation of his work.

As for 'Jenniefur,' I was challenged by Amethyst Shade of UKBP to work 'a fluffy donkey' with that name into my next story, so I did.

Strawbe-Rematch

Strawberry Sunrise held up a forehoof to shield her eyes from the sun as she stepped through the doors of Ponyville General Hospital, her brow furrowed with determination. She ran her tongue between the gap in her teeth and looked towards the market, from where she could hear the shouts of the one who had done this to her.

When she had paid Applejack a visit a few days ago, the last thing she'd expected was to have a stool smashed over her head, but that was exactly what happened; the incident had left her with a missing tooth, a black eye and the kind of headache that would belong more to the worst hangover imaginable.

When word of what happened spread, many ponies took Applejack's side and said that Strawberry Sunrise probably deserved it. Given how much she'd been riling Applejack in the weeks before she snapped and decided to recreate the Equestrian Wrestling Federation in the middle of the market, even Strawberry Sunrise had to admit that these ponies had a point.

She let out soft sigh as she began walking towards the market; she only had one thing on her mind at that moment, and that was having it out with Applejack again. This time, however, she swore to herself that things would be a lot different. Ignoring the stares, pointing and stifled laughs of everypony she met, Strawberry Sunrise arrived at the market, her destination in sight.

Applejack stood behind the counter of her stall with a large grin on her face, serving a line of customers who were all jostling for a better view of the counter, upon which sat the remains of the very stool the farmer had used to hit Strawberry Sunrise with. One of the legs was missing and the rest were cracked, but the object still took pride of place on the counter, as though to remind those who saw it that Applejack was not going to take any guff.

Strawberry Sunrise saw it as well, and quickly looked away; she swallowed nervously and approached the counter.

"Thank ya kindly, partner." Applejack said, taking some bits from the stallion she was serving. "Enjoy those apples, and have yerself a nice day, y'hear?" The stallion nodded. "Attaboy. Next!"

Strawberry Sunrise cleared her throat. "Applejack," she said. "I want a word with you, if you'd be so kind as to give me a moment."

Applejack glared at her. "Filly, you must be as crazy as a box of rabid dogs," she snapped. "I'm pretty darn sure that I made mahself clear the last time ya 'wanted a word' with me."

"You did." Strawberry Sunrise nodded. "You made yourself abundantly clear, but I'm here to set the record straight once and for all. When you hit me with that stool, Applehack, you made me realise something about myself; something that made me feel uneasy at first, but quickly came to terms with."

Applejack crossed her forelegs and looked at her. "I made you realise that you were bein' a plothead, and that you're here to tell me you're going to stop insulting me and mah product?"

To her surprise, Strawberry Sunrise shook her head. "No, Applejack," she replied. "I'm not going to stop insulting you or your filthy, disgusting, nasty, putrid, flea-ridden apples. I'm here to tell you that I want a rematch; you and me, right here, right now."

Shocked gasps and murmurs arose from the ponies around, while Applejack simply laughed. "Shoot, Strawberry Sunrise, I must have hit ya harder than I thought." she shook her head. "But I ain't gonna fight you; I admit that I lost mah temper, but – honestly – I never should have hit ya in the first place, and fer that, I'm sorry. But believe me when I say that I am never, ever, gonna lay a hoof on you, or anypony else, ever again."

Strawberry Sunrise narrowed her eyes and walked behind the counter to where Applejack was standing. "But what if I was to do this?" she said, pushing Applejack to the ground. "Surely you're going to defend yourself now, Applecrack?"

Applejack stood up and dusted herself off. "Nope," she replied, adjusting her hat. "I am not gonna fight you, Strawberry Sunrise; you need to accept that, and just head on home to rest."

"I'll rest once I've beat your flank all the way to Canterlot." Strawberry Sunrise snarled, poking Applejack in the chest with a forehoof. "Face me, coward!" The only response she got was Applejack taking a couple of steps backwards to regain something that remotely resembled personal space, space which Strawberry Sunrise quickly invaded as she got close enough to slap Applejack in the face with one of her wings. "Come on, bumpkin, hit me!"

"Oh, for Celestia's sake!" a stallion in the crowd yelled. "Come on, Applejack, can't you just humour the crazy mare? All you have to do is knock her out again, at which point you can go back to your stall; I've been waiting twenty minutes already!"

Applejack shook her head. "I said I was past all that now," she replied. "I just had a moment of weakness, an' I regret it. In my position as a teacher at the School of Friendship, I need to set a good example to everycreature around me."

Strawberry Sunrise wasn't convinced. "I don't care how long it takes, or what I have to stoop to doing," she said. "Mark my words, Applejack, sooner or later, you are going to hit me, and we will have a fight that creatures will talk about for decades to come!"

Applejack sighed. "I really feel for you, sugarcube," she said sadly. "I am so sorry that you feel the only way for us to have any kind of discourse is through violence; I suppose me hittin' ya in the first place didn't exactly help matters, though." She picked up the broken stool and held it out. "Instead of us fighting in the middle of town, how about I let ya hit me back instead?"

"No!" Strawberry Sunrise whined. "That won't cut it, Appledunce; how many times do I have to tell you to hit me?"

Applejack dropped the stool on the ground and sighed. "And how many times do I have to tell you that I ain't gonna hit you because it's wrong, and I regret what I did?"

"Whatever," Strawberry Sunrise grumbled. "Just hit me already!"

Applejack grabbed a hold of her. "Now listen here, missy," she said angrily. "You need to get a grip and calm down 'fore you say or do something that you'll regret... or something that gets ya jailed. I'm sorry for what I did to ya, and will gladly go to court and pay a settlement, but right now you need to back off an' leave me be!" She pushed Strawberry Sunrise away from her, causing the pegasus to lose her balance and fall to the ground. "Oh, shoot, now I didn't mean to do that; are ya okay, Strawberry?" To her surprise, Strawberry Sunrise began cackling madly. "Oh, great, now she's gonna use this as an excuse to hit me ba—"

"Yes, YES! That's exactly it!" from her position on the ground, Strawberry Sunrise grabbed hold of Applejack's forelegs and looked up at her. "Just like that, Applejack, but harder!"

Applejack's ears flattened against her head, her pupils shrank to pinpricks, and she began blushing furiously. "Say what now?!"

Strawberry Sunrise stood up, her own forelegs making their way up Applejack's body until they came to rest on her haunches. "I see why you hit me, Applejack," she said. "It's because I was being naughty, and naughty fillies get punished. So please, please, do it again; I want you to break me in half, you sweaty farm titan!"

Applejack pushed Strawberry Sunrise off her, eliciting another fit of mad giggles. As she watched the pegasus thrash around on the ground, repeating the words "Hit me!" over and over again, she glanced at the ponies around her – who were backing away as quickly as their legs would carry them – and groaned.

"That does it," she said. "From now on, Mac is gonna run the stall."

Author's Note

I originally had this as a sequel, but it was revoked for being 'a chapter of the same story submitted as a separate upload.' I can't say I agree with this, but the same time I can't exactly argue about it.

Also, the 'sweaty farm titan' line is a reference to this piece of art by Dilarus, which itself was inspired by a tweet from Longinius (which I can't link to because the account has NSFW art).