For months from their trek across the desert to the hilly country where they now camped, hogz had joined Skull Kruncha Masha Thrasha's ever growing war herd, either because of the promise of fightin' and munchin', or being beaten and pummeled into compliance. It had grown from a war herd, to a war host, to a near-religious migration. The crude encampment had grown into a scrap city. Daily bands of hogz joined, the siren's song of violence irresistible to them. To any onlooker it would have appeared as pure anarchy, what with the mud pits with bodies wallowing in them, preechaz screaming their "sermonz", ramshackle war machines rolling around...and in some cases, stomping around, the mountainous piles of scrap haphazardly placed anywhere and everywhere, and the constant brawling...and they wouldn't be entirely wrong.

It was dark as Skull Krusha Masha Thrasha strolled through the bedlam, absentmindedly clanging his powah jawz. He was followed by by a group of big, heavily armored hogz, called bossiz. Most of them had their jaws replaced by crude bear trap-like devices called 'uge chompaz. Da biggest and baddest boss hog dere iz, followed by his band of bossiz, only stopped on their meandering to pummel the few porcines who squealed a challene or drew their ire.

Skull Kruncha Masha Thrasha strode to the edge of the encampment to look off in the distance as he decided in which direction to trample off in next. As he gaze off in decided no deep thoughts, a shower of arrows rained down on da boss hog and his bossiz, most glancing harmlessly off their armor, but some found their marks, digging in deep and causing them to squeal in pain and anger. In the distance he saw a group of white tail deer clutching bows in the spit of their forehooves while nocking arrows, in preparation to draw and loose another volley. The boss hog raised his head to the sky and bellowed out, "OOOOOOOIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNKKKKKK!" The bossiz echoed the war cry and the whole group started trampling off towards the cervines.

Cries of "OOOOOOOOOOIIIIIINNNNNNKKKKK!" bellowed as hogz started trampling off in the direction of the war cry, while others tore down the ramshackle structures and gathered up the piles of scrap, tossing the materials into the back of wagonz and kartz. The ground rumbled in a faux earthquake from the trampling of hooves and the wight of wheeled and stomping war machines.

The deer loosed one last volley of arrows and the sprung off with a skip-leap dash that allowed them to quickly cover ground as the hill were inundated in a flood of angry pork. The deer continued their skip-jump means of running for a dozen leagues before coming to a stop just outside a small circle of stones where a doe steadily chanting a soft spell as her hooves glowed in a soft, leaf green light.

"Hurry Spring Bud, we've got them riled up and trampling. It won't be long before they find us.", a buck said stepping to the edge of the stone circle.

"Patience, Elm Twig.", Spring Bud said, not breaking her concentration, "The link between the two places of power is almost complete and the bridge is nearly woven."

As Spring Bud finished chanting, her hooves glowed brightly and she touched one to the ground. Small glowing vine-like tendrils sprung up from the ground and twisted around themselves, forming a circular structure. A flash of light signaled the portal was opened and the white tail deer quickly hurried through.

Once the last of the white tails were through, a black deer buck stepped from the shadows and crossed the threshold of the stone circle. Black lightning crackled across his antlers as he scraped them across the vine portal. "Happy travels cousins!", he snickered as he stepped out of the circle and slipped off into the shadows.

The massive host of hogz flowed across the land like a flood of hooves and tusks. Bullets and explosions ripped apart rocks, trees shrubs and porcine bodies alike, while crudely built kartz, wagonz and stomping war machines crushed those underneath who were too slow or too stupid to get out of the way.

***

The group of white tail deer traveled down the bridge of woven magic when crackles of black lightning started to travel down it. They gasped as it started to unravel.

Spring Bud stopped and started chanting, weaving a new bridge spell hastily. "Quickly! Lend me some of your magic or we won't make it out of here!"

The deer's antlers and hooves glowed in a bright green light as they lent the doe their magic.

As the magic bridge unraveled, Spring Bud reached out with her magic to connect with a place of power. She didn't have time to determine if the place she connected to was safe and quickly cast the spell to create a new bridge.

The group of deer quickly hurried down the new bridge as was unceremoniously dumped out in a dark place.

The deer quickly rose to their hooves and readied their bows.

"Anydeer know where we are?", Elm Twig asked.

In response, a pair of turquoise eyes shown out in the darkness.

"Thou hast much gall if thou think thou canst ambush Us.", a voice said that made the fur along the deer's spines stand on end.

"Show yourself!", Elm Twig challenged, aiming his bow at the pair of turquoise eyes, "I have no desire to fight, but if you threaten my glade-mates, I will slay you!"

In response blue light shined around a unicorn-like horn. The light filled the area, revealing it to be the interior of a large room, either in mid-construction or mid-repair and showing Princess Luna in her black power armor, she was flanked by five massive ponies in lavender armor, aiming the spikes atop their silver halberds at the deer. Doors opened and scores of ponies with manes bleached white manes stormed in, carrying weapons and surrounded the deer.

"Surrender and We can ensure that thou art well treated.", Luna said calmly, "Resist and well..." In response, several of the weapons the ponies were carrying had small blue flames ignited with a small pop, signifying they were primed.

***

For three days and three night the massive war host of hogz led by Skull Kruncha masha Thrasha stampeded on, stopping just long enough to attack bands of mutants, bandits, or packs of monsters in brutal brawls. On the fourth day as the sun started to peek above the horizon, the host of hogs stopped, gathering where the hill country met scrubland.

The hogz gathered in a lose conglomeration, some rooting for mushrooms and truffles, others engaging in massive brawls or shooting whatever had the misfortune of being directly in front of the muzzles of their guns, others still were digging out mud pit for wallowing or cooking disgusting and bizarre stews in pots made of scrap metal, while the bossiz "debated" on which direction to go, which comprised of bellowing loudly "DIS WAY!" or "DAT WAY!" while smashing each other over the head as far as they can, to which Skull Kruncha Masha Thrasha, being "Da biggest an' baddest boos dere iz!", by disagreeing against all the other hogz whom he didn't like their ideas in standard hog fashion, by brutally pummeling them.

In the midst of all the hoggy bedlam, the ground started trembling as something massive was tunneling underneath and making its way to the surface, looking to make an easy meal.

As the ground heaved up in a large mound, many of the hogz stopped what they were doing to inspect what was going on. The ground erupted in a shower of dirt, rocks, teeth and hogz with parts of their bodies bitten off as a gargantuan tatzlwurm sprung forth, gobbling up a huge mouthful of earth and surprised pork. Bellowing cries of "OOOOOOOOIIIIIIIINNNNNKKKKK!" echoed across the gathering as hogz rushed in with glee to fight the titanic monster, giving deep and loud belly laughs.

The tatzlwurm effortlessly gobbled up mouthfuls of hogz, crushing others with it immense bulk, and smashing aside katz and wagonz like they were made of paper with its tail. Heedlessly the hogz rushed onward, driven by the glee that only a good fight could bring. Kartz and wagonz careened forwards, filled to the tipping point with hogz, at the mammoth worm-creature, some slamming into its body, others passing close by, in both cases hogz sailed through the air, either because they leapt from their mode of transportation, or because their inertia sent them through the air from the collisions. Whatever the case, when the hogz landed on the immense tatzlwurm, some scrambled up or down its body length, others stamped, bit, gored, hacked, stabbed and shot at the thick skin of the beast, to no effect. The tatzlwurm rolled its vast bulk over, crushing the unwanted creatures, along with a swath of the war host.

Explosions tore massive gashes in the in the ground or impacted the body of the tatzlewurm as the idolz of Oinka and Grunta stomped forward on crudely constructed legs or rolled forward on massive rollers, guns pointing off in every direction conceivable belched fire as they launched their payloads, with little regard if they hit anything. The tatzlewurm flared the frill surrounding its conical head and opened its tri-jaw open, revealing row upon row of razor sharp, reap pointing, conical teeth and gave a hissing roar as its multiple tentacle-like tongues writhed. The huge worm-creature lunged forward, plunging through the nearest of the idolz, shattering it to pieces, flung its tail into a second, causing it to tip over, and wrapping its coiling length around a third, crushing it like it was paper.

Skull Kruncha Masha Thrasha leapt onto a kart. "Git offa 'ere ya dossy pigz!", he shouted as he tossed hogz from it. He smashed a hog who was standing astride four bicycle-like pedals, "Git me over dere!" The hog started pedaling and the kart took off. He smashed the pedlah over the head again. "Fasta!" The pedlah hog started pumping his legs harder and the kart picked up speed. "Fasta! Fasta! Fasta!", Skull Kruncha Masha Thrasha bellowed, each time hitting the pedlah hog over the head. The kart shot by in a blur and Skull Kruncha laughed in glee as the air blew over his bristle and under his armor.

Skull Kruncha Masha Thrasha coiled his legs under him as he prepared to leap as the kart neared the tatzlwurm. "Ya betta not swerve away, ya dossy pig, or I'll give ya head a thumpin'!" As the kart slammed into the gigantic worm-creature, he leapt, the combination of his great strength and the inertia of the kart coming to a near-stop when hitting something of greater mass, sent him sailing through the air and he land roughly on the creatures bulk. He swatted hogz out of his way as he ran along its body, towards its head.

When the tatzlwurm thrashed, dislodging many of the hogz on its body, Skull Kruncha Masha Thrasha chomped down with his powah jawz. When it rolled to crush any hangers on, he ran around its body. He steadily made his way to the creature's head. Reaching the tatzlwurm's head, looked it straight into one of one of its many eyes and bellowed, "I yam Skull Krusha Masha Thrasha! Da biggest an' baddest boss hog dere iz!" He then slammed his hoof into its eye.

The tazlwurm reared up, roaring in pain and anger. It slammed its head onto the ground in an attempt to dislodge or crush the boss hog. Skull Krusha hung on for dear life, sometimes shifting his position. The tatzlwurm reared up and arced its head downwards to tunnel into the ground where it had the advantage. Worm-creature and boss hog disappeared beneath the soil. Hog stared on in stunned disbelief, not in mourning for their boss hog, but for the scrap that would be lost. The ground rumbled, in a massive geyser of soil and rock, the tatzlwurm reemerged, with the boss hog still clinging to its head.

For two day and two nights, the tatzlwurm and the boss hog fought. One the morning of the third day, the tatzlwurm fell to the ground exhausted, with a great crash, Skull Krusha still standing atop his head. As the worm-creature lay in the ground panting, its multiple tentacle-tongues hanging out, the boss hog reared his head up to the sky and bellowed "OOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIINNNNNNNNKKKKKK!" Swirling green magic surrounded his body as he grew in size and bulk.

"I yam Skull Krusha Masha Thrasha! An' I yam da worm ridah!"

The surrounding hogz all bellowed out in cheers as the shouted "Skull Krusha Masha Thrasha worm ridah!" in unison.

The mekk hogz gathered up scrap and fashioned a battering ram-like halter to fit over the head and tri-jaw of the tatzlworm. When it tried to thrash away, Skull Kruncha clanged his powah jawz together as a threat. The creature decided that right now wasn't the time for another a fight.

After the tazlwurm was fitted with its battering ram halter, Skull Kruncha stood atop its head and pointed a hoof to the south. "We go dat way!" A dozen hogz gathered up on the tail of the tatzlwurm and started beating on it to make the creature speed off.

Author's Note

This chapter is a little shorter than I intended, but I didn't want this one to be 8000+ words long. Don't worry, I'll come back around to da hogz again.

Skull Kruncha Masha Thrasha has himself a new pet and mount. Now they set off in search of ~~adventure~~ a good fight.

Thank you all for reading and I hope you all enjoy.

Like the story? Hate the story? See any misspellings or typos? Have any questions? Wanna throw shade or pure bane? Leave it bellow in the comments.