The Harmony Crusade

by sykko

Hoof and tusk, steel and savagery part 0: The Crusade and Da Hogz prepare to meet one another

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Three weeks. Three weeks was all the time the New equestrian Empire had to prepare their defenses for the massive hog war wallow. They spent that time building out a massive interlinking patchwork of zig-zagging trenches, foxholes, bunkers, concealed fighting positions and rally points were dug into the very earth forming a web of defense-in-depth. In between the fighting positions mine fields, pitfalls and rolling log traps were laid out. Adamantem, ponemarch of the Celestial Hooves legion was given full command to build the massive earthen defenses. Hour-by-hour the defenses stretched further afield.

Dragons carried massive boulders from the quarries to the constantly growing defenses, where the legionnaires of the Celestial Hooves directed their draconic allies to place them down. Many of the transequine marines had opted to forgo the wearing of their ivory-colored armor with intricate royal purple highlights and gold filigree, instead wearing more sensible robes and heavy aprons with scores of tools hanging from loops and straps or slipped into pockets and pouches. using their immense strength, they rolled the boulders in place, then began to shape them with tools, carving the massive hunks of stone down into more manageable blocks for use as building materials.

Adamantem, having a sharp eye and a savant-level instinct for siege warfare, strode along a series of bunkers nearing completion. The ponemarch's ivory power armor with intricate horn-painted royal purple highlights and hoof-lain gold filigree, as much a means of bodily protection as it was a symbol of office and a work of art, glittered in the light. The transequine general was flanked by a pair of power armor-clad bodyguards, their armor, though not as intricate, was still beautiful to behold. Both bodyguards carried on their backs a standard for the legion, a simple design, an ivory field rectangular in design that tapered down to a tri-point, outlined in a thick border of royal purple, in the center of the ivory field was a golden sun disk with a royal purple, ivory and gold armored hoof superimposed over it, hung from T-shaped poles that sat atop their backs.

Adamantem watched with their sharp vision dragons and pegasi, both mortal and transequine alike, airlifted the finished blocks and carried them over to the trench lines, where they would be used to form the foundations and walls for bunkers and pillboxes, as well as for making crenelations at the tops of trenches so the soldiers would have cover to fire from. Up and down the trench lines cement mixers hummed as their massive round hoppers spun, keeping the mixed slurry of rock dust, lime and water from setting until it came time to pour.

At the foremost of the defensive lines the last of the concrete was being poured for the defenses, then shaped using magic and machines into various obstacles meant to funnel groups into chokepoints, and dozens of body lengths in front of those chokepoints were stationed in pairs the new crew serviced weapons.

Flurry Heart watched over a training field where the bison were being outfitted with armor, some with suits of heavy plate and others with armored cloaks that had smaller plates attached. Though many had complained about the armor, most understood the necessity to protect them from enemy bullets and shrapnel. Their armor was uncomfortable, having to be modified from existing armor meant for female minotaurs, as there wasn't enough time to design and test new armor types for the bison. Each bison was also given a heavy steel helmet that had to be heavily modified from the ones normally worn by minotaurs, with sections needing to be cut out or welded on, and the whole thing hastily shaped to better fit their heads, fortunately the sharpened steel horn caps didn't need much in the way of alterations. Though weapons training was a bit easier, what with their cloven hooves being able to grip the weapons and not having to rely as much on a sympathetic telekinetic field like the ponies. Unfortunately the training with weapons had to be more of a crash course, focusing on basic accuracy training in single shot, burst fire and full-auto, basic reloading drills and bare bones weapon maintenance. There just wasn't enough time to create enough gear specifically for their external biologies and to properly train them in military doctrines, something the princesses had promised would be rectified once the hogs had been sufficiently dealt with.

The bison's preference for lighter melee weapons, such as knives, hoof axes, spears and infantry lances were a great boon as they could be easily and quickly constructed from any available materials, though the older bison preferred to make the blades of their weapons from chipped stone or carved bone as a personal point of pride.

On multiple occasions the generals got into heated arguments on how the bison were to be used. Celestia was able to finally head off those arguments by having Wind-in-Her-Fur tell the generals about her kin preferred to fight, though she didn't understand military tactics and doctrines, she was able to convey that the bison prefer to charge in in force and shatter an enemy's resolve and strength with their greater strength, weight and mass. After that it was quickly resolved on what role the bison would serve, they'd be split into two groups, one group would serve as heavy infantry support for the tanks and other armored fighting vehicles, the other group would be paired with the minotaurs to serve as heavy shock infantry to plug gaps in allied lines or rip open gaps in enemy ranks for standard infantry to exploit.

Spring Bud sat in the cell that she had been locked in after the ponies had taken her and her fellow deer had been taken prisoner when they were forced to make a new weave a new bridge to a point of power when their first one had started to unravel. She had found out too late that this point of power was a pony goddess. That had been over a year ago. The far-leaper had plenty of time to go over in her head what happened. It wasn't unheard of for a far-leaper's bridge between two points of power to unravel and leave the deer traveling down it trapped in the in-between. Usually that happened with fawns who were being trained to run the trail of the far-leaper. No, this had not been her bridge unraveling because of a hastily woven spell. There was something else dark and dangerous that had interfered with her bridge weaving. This was the work of black deer, the whitetail's cousins who practiced blood magic and dark sorcery, who practiced vile blood letting rights to keep their dark city secret and concealed behind a veil of darkness. If she could have left her imprisonment, she would have, but she learned quickly that the ponies had made sure no magic could be used unless their goddesses deemed it. She had tried once while out in the yard to weave a bridge, only to receive a nasty shock when a counter spell triggered, causing her weaving to rebound.

Spring Bud let her mind wander to their captors. The ponies had not been cruel. She and her fellow whitetails had been given ample food and water, they had even escorted them out into a yard with a high fence, higher than she or her fellow whitetails could jump over, so they could get fresh air and sunshine. Over time the bucks in her little band had shed their antlers, which the ponies quickly confiscated, she couldn't blame them for that as antlers were sharp and hard and could be used as weapons, and now they were just starting to get their summertime buds. She remembered hearing the distant peals of what sounded like thunder, and when the wind shifted, it carried the scent of smoke and death. The whitetails of Thorn were no strangers to death, what with their grove being in the Everfree, where death could fall upon a deer from a dozen different angles in a dozen different forms at any time. This scent of death was different from any she had seen before, first off was the sheer volume of it, the very wind had been thick with the smell of hundreds or maybe thousands dying in a short time. Secondly, there had been the pony healers who had been rushing forth, carrying as much healing supplies as they could. Thirdly, there had been snippets of conversation she had picked up about these ponies making war against another pony nation, and this pony nation they were fighting had slaughtered many of its own kin.

Spring Bud's ear turned towards the sound of the clanking of the locking mechanism in the door. This had caught her by surprise as it wasn't time for food or exercise. She turned her head towards the cell door as it opened. There framed in the doorway was a pony goddess, wearing armor black as midnight, occasionally crackles of magic ran across the surface of the armor, and attached to the side of the armor was a battleaxe that had hoarfrost along its cutting edge.

"Come.", Luna said. "We have much to discuss. Though the original plan was to release you back into the Everfree once our campaign was done here and have you and your fellow whitetails deliver a message to Thorn, a much more pressing issue has come up. A massive war wallow of hogs is moving towards us." She produced a scroll. "This is a proposition of alliance. Take this to your chief buck and deliver this to him."

Luna, accompanied by her six Nova Guard, led Spring Bud and her small cadre of whitetails outside the fence. She leaned her head down and touched her horn to the doe's forehead, a small surge of magic ran up it and into the deer. "That is an insurance policy. I have enchanted you with a combination of a recall teleport spell and an intent spell. If you betray us, it will return you immediately to me and then you shall face my wrath. Now go quickly and deliver the message to your kindred at Thorn."

Spring Bud wove a bridge spell, using Luna as the first anchor point and the stone circle just outside of Thorn as the second anchor point. A silvery portal opened up as the safe passage through the in-between was successfully created.

Luna felt eyes on her and she turned her head towards where the eyes were. Standing on a distant hill in a small clump of trees was a deer with a dark coat. When it noticed that Luna could see it, it lit an un-light around one of its hooves, stepped behind a tree and disappeared. Luna narrowed her eyes at where the dark-coated deer had been. Though it was a long ways away, she was intimately familiar with dark magic, probably more intimately familiar than any of her co-princesses.


The massive war wallow, led by Skull Kruncha Masha Thrasha da Wyrm Ridah, trampled across the countryside towards the now former nation of New Unicornia. It was less of an ordered march and more of a roiling, rumbling brawl that its members tended to move in the same general direction. Hooves and weapons beat and tore into hogz. Bullets, bombs and rivets pierced flesh and shredded the landscape. Kartz and wagonz careened wildly about, swerving unpredictably back and forth, sometimes slamming to each other, often running over their fellow hogz, crushing them under their wheels. Giant mechanized idols to their twin gods, cobbled together from scrap, stomped about on massive mechanical legs or rolled about on huge rollers, all bristling with all sorts of weapons. Preechaz stood atop the idols and bellowed out sermonz to the tune of "Bash 'em in dere 'eads!", "Da hogz are da best!", "Ponee godisiz are no match for da hogz!", or simply "OOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKK!"

Behind the war wallow the land was left a destroyed mess of trampled ground, muddy dirt, broken bodies and chunks of scrap. As the sun went down, they would form into a chaotic mess of mud pits, scrap piles, holes dug in search of truffles and brawling knots of bodies they affectionately called a camp.

While the savage porcines formed their "camp", small groups of transequine figures in black armor moved silently and quickly through the growing dark. These pony marines were hoof-picked by Empresario to scan da hogz, document those that looked like leaders, mark down what looked like ammo dumps and troops barracks. Their orders weren't to engage, but to gather intel, and wait for another night to launch assassination and sabotage raids.

Night Captain Shrouded Moonlight scowled behind the faceplate of her helmet as her transequine brain went over the information transmitted from her brothers' and sisters' sensor suites. It almost appeared that these porcine creatures had never heard of basic organization, munitions were left out willy-nilly, food was haphazardly tossed into piles, scrap was tossed into unsecured heaps. It also appeared that these creatures had no real military structure to speak of either, it appeared that whoever was the biggest and strongest was in charge. These tusk savages also had no discipline to speak of either, they would just constantly brawl and fire their weapons wildly.

Skull Kruncha Masha Thrasha felt a prickle travel along the bristles of his spine. Something was watching him. He turned his head in the direction but only saw darkness. Still, he didn't become da biggest an' da baddest boss hog by being stoopit. He strode in the direction the prickles on his spine told him.

The Night Captain keyed her comms device three times to signal his brothers and sisters to fall back and bleed back into the shadows. There was no use in being discovered and unnecessarily losing marines this night.

Skull Kruncha Masha Thrasha snuffled around in the darkness. The bushes smelled like ponee and not-ponee at the same time. He narrowed his beady eyes in the dark and clashed his powah jawz in thought and frustration. Whatever these ponee-not-a-ponee things were, they were gone now, probably for good. With a frustrated huff at not finding a good scrap, he stomped back to camp.

The small Night Hunter team gathered in a valley nestled between a few hills several leagues away from the hog encampment.

"What the Tartarus!", Blue Belle, a white unicorn transequine mare exclaimed. "It's like they love living in filth and constantly fighting."

"You didn't see what I saw.", Ridge Trotter, a pale green unicorn transequine stallion said. "They've managed to catch and tame a tatzlwyrm, or at least bind it down."

The Night Captain sat in silence formulating a plan as her brothers and sisters shared what they saw with one another or squabbled about who was going to get the most kills. Once she had formulated a plan, she gestured for two of her officers. The three of them quietly discussed the strategy.

Once a plan of action had been agreed on, Shrouded Moonlight loudly cleared her throat, getting the attention of her brothers and sisters. "These creatures don't seem to have any sort of regimented structure, but they do have a structure and that's something we can exploit. It appears that the bigger a hog is, the more likely it is that others will follow it. We're going to spend the next three days and nights shadowing them, marking out targets of opportunity. Large hogs, ammunition piles, vehicles and the like. During that whole time turn off all broadcasting on your armor, that includes transmitting an sensor data, just in case they have any communications equipment that could pick up our transmissions. When we get back to a secure camp, we'll share all data. From here on until I give the order otherwise, no shots are to be fired, no explosives are to be used, and all are to move about with invisibility and silence enchantments. if you have any questions or comments, speak them now."

Night Captain Shrouded Moonlight waited for a few moment, when none of her brothers and sisters said nothing, she placed a hoof to her chest in salute and whispered, "Peace through harmony."

"Harmony through victory.", the other Night Hunters whispered back.


For three days and three nights the Night Hunters shadowed the war wallow. Sometimes they crept in among the tusked savages to get closer scans of the creatures.

Just after dark on the fourth night Night Captain Shrouded Moonlight stood out next to a massive stack of wood directly in the path of the war wallow. Once her sensors relayed to her that her brothers and sisters were in place, she lit her horn and ignited the wood, creating a massive bonfire.

Da hogz came to a halt. Hogz grunted and squealed in anticipation. "Oi! Wut's all did 'ere, big ponee?", a boss hog bellowed out.

"I have come to parlay!", Shrouded Moonlight said through her helmet's loudspeaker.

"Wut's a, 'ow'd ya say it, par...lay?"

Shrouded Moonlight gave an exasperated sigh. "Of course they wouldn't know what parlay means.", she muttered to herself. Keying her helmet's loudspeaker on again she said, "It means I want to speak to your leader...alone. Nopony else, just me and him."

"Well why didn't ya jus' say so?", the boss hog shouted back. "Ya jus' wait dere an' I'll go get 'im!"

Shrouded Moonlight grit her teeth. It was frustrating dealing with the stupid creatures. Through her sensor suite she saw the few Night Hunters that had snuck into their ranks, using invisibility enchantments and the bonfire as a distraction to plant explosives with remote fuses. The rest had taken up positions around the countryside and took aim with their weapons.

Skull Kruncha Masha Thrasha stomped out. "So's youz dat ponee-not-a-ponee dat wuz peepin' me dem few night ago? So, wut ya want?"

Shrouded Moonlight smirked behind her helmet's faceplate. She aimed the gun mounted in her armor's shoulder socket skyward. She double checked, ensuring that a starburst round had been chambered. "I have a gift to give you and a message just for you."

"Ooh, a gift. Izzit shiny?"

"Not quite. Just look up and you'll see in just a minute." Shrouded Moonlight fired the starburst round up into the air. After a hundred body lengths it exploded, the signal for her brothers and sisters to strike.

Da hogz were too busy looking at the round detonating high up in the air to quickly respond to what was happening next.

The Night Hunters activated the remote fuses. They detonated, ripping bodies apart and igniting ammunition.

Da hogz had been caught completely flat-hooved by the explosions. Those that weren't completely ripped apart by the explosions, ran around screaming as the ammunition in their guns cooked off or their bodies burned. Their compatriots rolled on the ground laughing and didn't hear what happened next.

The Night Hunters fired their guns at the various boss hogs. Bloody chunks of viscera filled the air as the large tusked creatures were ripped apart by mass reaction rounds.

The smaller hogz ran around in a panic as their bosses were slain around them, disrupting the OOOOOOOIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNKKKKKKK! field,others immediately began brawling with one another in an attempt to become the next boss hog.

"And now for the message. THIS IS EQUESTRIA! LEAVE NOW OR FACE THE WRATH OF THE GODDESSES!" Shrouded Moonlight kicked burning logs at the base of the bonfire, causing them to fall over in the direction of Skull Kruncha Masha Thrasha, who rolled out of the way, narrowly avoiding the flaming avalanche. She then fired several mass reaction rounds at him, but it was only by luck that they only tore chunks out of his thick armor and didn't pierce his flesh. She then used her magic to pull the shadows around her and vanish into the night.

"Disengage and fall back!", Shrouded Moonlight shouted into her comms device.

Each of the Night Hunters stopped firing, pulled back and disappeared into the night. They each moved along a pre-determined route and galloped for five leagues before doubling back and headed for the rendezvous twenty-five leagues away. This was done so that if any elements of the war wallow gave chase, their whole unit wouldn't be cut off and it would make it easier to pick off any that were following them.

The rest of the night Skul Kruncha Masha Thrasha pumelled panicking and insubordinate hogz back into line. He then gave the order to find the ponies who had attacked, but when the scouts went out, they found dozens of trails leading off in every direction. The biggest an' baddest boss hod dere iz clashed his powa jawz in anger and took out his frustrations on several smaller hogz.

"Dis wuz a rooz.", Krackle Tusk, one of the new bosses who was a strangely brainy hog said. "Doze big poneez work for da ponee godisiz an' day wuz sent 'ere ta slow us down."

"Dat's it! Dey'z want a foight, dey'z gunna git a roit proppa foight!", Skull Kruncha Masha Thrasha da Wyrm Ridda, Biggest an' Baddest Boss Hog Dere Iz said. He climbed atop the tatzlwurm, punched it in the eye to get it moving, moved to the head of the war wallow and shouted, "NO SLEEPIN'! NO RESTIN'! NO STOPPIN'! DOZE PONEE GODISIZ WANNA A ROIT PROPPA FOIT, WE'LL GIVE 'EM A ROIT PROPP FOIT! LET'S GO BOARZ! OOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKK!"


Author's Note

Da hogz are on a right and proper warpath now!

A special shoutout to New_Rebellion for help with ideas and for letting me bounce ideas off of him. Go show him some My Little Pony love.

Next I plan on doing a side chapter or 2.

Thank you all for reading and I hope you all enjoy.

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