Statue Of Limitations

by deadpansnarker

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spike, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 2050

In order to create the statue of herself and her friends seen at the beginning of 'The Last Problem', Twilight was forced to make a big decision, which was destined to have far bigger ramifications than she thought possible...

In order to create the statue of her and her friends seen at the beginning of 'The Last Problem', Twilight makes a big decision, which was destined to have far bigger ramifications than she thought possible...

To put it mildly now.

Published 2020-06-29 11:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-06-29 11:20:01 UTC

Getting Stoned

“Hmm… hmm…” The newly-in-charge Princess Twilight carefully examined the golden crown in her hoof, before tossing it in the air and catching it with magical levitation.

A most amusing diversion true, but one that did little to solve her existing dilemma.

“What to do… what to do…” she pondered aloud, probably adding a few more stress lines to her burgeoning collection. “This is my first big decision, and I want to make sure I get it right. If only I had some kind of special advisor to help guide me… wait!”

So distracted was the alicorn by her pressing problem, she’d completely overlooked the reptilian gem-chomper given the aforementioned position recently. Feeling somewhat relieved that she finally had somecreature to share her anguish with, she wasted no more time but rang the bell which would inevitably summon her number one assistant, now closest aide.

“Hi Spike, sorry to disturb you on our first day in Canterlot while you’re getting settled in.” Twilight greeted her dragon friend as the palace guards opened the throne room double-doors for him. “But I really need your help with…”

“Have you seen the size of my bed? It’s almost as big as my old room by itself! And who knew Celestia had such a great comic collection? She kept that secret well hidden. It’s not just Luna that was a ‘dark horse’...” Spike wasn’t paying much attention, gushing as he was about their new digs. “I don’t wanna make any rash predictions, but I think I’m gonna like it here…”

“Spike!! I didn’t bring you here just to explore the castle or read Power Ponies all day, you actually have a proper job now!” Twilight frowned at her hyperactive friend, before hastily correcting herself. “I-I mean, not that what you did before wasn’t important, it was. But this is like, super important, and I need you to be on call at a moment’s notice. Do you understand what I’m getting at?”

“Well, duh. I didn’t think you gave me this just because I look so cool wearing it.” Spiked grinned as he lightly flicked the gleaming amulet around his neck, before gesturing to the special chair adjacent to Twilight’s throne. “...And I didn’t think you seated me there so I could eavesdrop on all the latest royal gossip. I’m with you till the end, Twi! O-Or at least…”

“Thank you, Spike. That’s all I needed to hear.” Twilight purposefully cut her advisor off, as dwelling on her possible immortality and subsequent farewell to all her closest friends was not something she wanted to do right now. “A-Anyway, let’s get down to business, shall we?”

“So what’s our first big task, then? Stopping a war? Solving a hunger crisis? Preventing a natural disaster? Or is it just a royal friendship problem?” Spike flew over to proudly take his place alongside Twilight. “Come on, give me the deets! I can’t wait to get stuck in!”

“Deets?! Language, Spike! As much as I loved having Smoulder as a student, I’m not sure her slang is appropriate for your new position.” Twilight rolled her eyes, before swiftly moving on. “No actually, nothing to do with any of that. What my big decision is based on has to do with ...sculptures.”

“Sculptures?” Spike raised an eyebrow at this revelation, before a horrible thought popped into his head. “Wait. You’re not thinking of taking down my statue in the Crystal Empire, are you? I-I swear it won’t be a conflict of interest in my role…”

“No, silly!” Twilight beamed down to reassure her nervous friend. “That has nothing to do with it. You earned that honour on your own, and as far as I’m concerned it’ll stay up forever. I was referring more about the ones scattered around Canterlot gardens. Don’t they seem a bit… dated, to you?”

“Hang on. Isn’t that what history is all about?” Spike scratched his head in confusion. This wasn’t exactly one of his strongest areas. “Preserving ancient stuff, no matter how dull or pointless it seems?”

“Yes, but ever since Discord got un-petrified, everypony ignores them when they come and visit Canterlot now. They admire the flowers and have fun in the maze, but steer clear of everything else.” Twilight scowled at the possibly devastating effect this could have on tourism. “According to a recent opinion poll, the vast majority of visitors think they’re ‘boring’, ‘unoriginal’, ‘worthless’ and ‘repetitious’. So my question to you Spike is, how do you think I should handle this delicate issue relating to Canterlot’s prestigious legacy?”

“Well, bearing in mind I’m not an expert, I can kinda see their point.” Spike took the opportunity to lean back in his chair. It already felt like it was made for him (mainly because it was). “Especially the last thing they said. Do we really need four statues of a pony carrying a rolling pin around? I also find them pretty creepy. What’s with the weird bug eyes a lot of them have? No offence to any Changelings out there.”

“Spike, that ‘rolling pin’ is actually a very important scroll upon which is transcribed a vital peace treaty! And the eyes are just closed! It was probably an artistic choice by the sculptor. You’d know all this, if you looked at them closer than your bedroom window!” Twilight began to think maybe it wasn’t such a good idea asking advice from the philistine dragon. “Look, just tell me straight out, okay? Should I keep them, or throw them into storage? They’re been there for years, but with Celestia and Luna put me in charge, they said there’d come a point where I’d have to make some pretty radical decisions. And, here we are.”

“Hmm, if you really want to know what I think, Twi…”

“If I didn’t Spike, I wouldn’t be enquiring, would I?”

“You might not like it…”

“Try me.”

…………………………..

When Spike dared suggest the idea, he was right in his prediction it didn’t go down so well.

Balderdash! Nonsense! Never in a million years would Twilight take a literal wrecking ball to history like that!

But the more she thought about it, the more she decided the notion deserved proper consideration.

First there was the referendum. The result was pretty conclusive… 99.9% in favour of the idea, the only holdout being the soon-to-be-redundant elderly stallion who cleaned birdy doo off them for a living (he was put out to pasture… literally. Applejack found a job for him on her farm to help feed the sheep. Result!)

Having received public approval Twilight then decided, albeit reluctantly, to give the go-ahead for the next big stage of operation.

In they swarmed. Earth ponies with sledgehammers (Maud Pie didn’t need one, of course), pegasi with drills, unicorns with destructive blasting magic…

Smashy-smashy. Soon, there was naught left of the previous structures but countless small fragments and much, much dust.

The loose material was not to be wasted, however. For this was an enchanted stone which to this day was very rare, and because of its unique melding properties easily recycled into other properties…

...Which is precisely why Spike made the suggestion he had: “If you ask me, you and the girls deserve a statue a lot more than some anonymous pony. And as I was told the last known quantity of magical stone was used on yours truly’s impressive physique, I think that maybe the time has come to put that rare mineral to good use for something the public actually wants. Your call, but that’s what I’d do.”

It wasn’t too long before the professional sculptor Spitting Image finished off a glorious statue of Twilight and the other Elements Of Harmony together, and a job that ordinarily would’ve taken many months was finished in just a couple of weeks.

(Twilight originally planned to include Starlight Glimmer too, but there just wasn’t enough special stone left over afterwards. This didn’t offend the new Headmare at the School Of Friendship at all, and the constant banging and shouting from her office the following week was surely just a coincidence.)

Didn’t it look fabulous? Twilight had already decided such an impressive bit of artwork was too good for the gardens, so straight into Canterlot central it went... where it was immediately a favourite spot for visiting creatures to have their photo taken in front of.

A nearby plaque told of their many adventures together too, to provide some valuable context. Overall, the sculpture was a popular and much-loved addition to the city, and certainly got a lot more notice than the many mini-statues which preceded it.

I hope the original artist won’t mind, wherever they are now… Twilight thought to herself, as she pottered through the now much emptier gardens soon after completion. But life moves on and sometimes things must change. Rightly or wrongly, that responsibility has been left in my hooves. I just hope my decision wasn’t purely based on egotism, because that wouldn’t be like me at… hey!

She stopped mid-step to stare unblinkingly at a wide open expanse of grass. Why is this seemingly unimportant bare spot bothering me so much…?

“You, there…!” She gestured to a yellowish mare guard nearby with a bit of an overbite. “Oh sorry, I mean… did something used to be here that isn’t there now? Maybe it’s just my imagination.”

“Don’t worry, my liege. Your perfect memory isn’t playing tricks on you.” This guard obviously had aspirations to climb the corporate ladder, which would explain her shameless schmoozing of the boss. “That’s where the Terrible Trio stood, before demolition ponies came and ground them into powder one day…”

Terrible Trio? W-Wait, she can’t mean…

“...Good riddance, I say!” The guard continued blathering on unabated, seemingly unaware of Twilight’s growing unease. “It’s about time we had a leader uncompromising in their determination to protect Equestria, no matter what the cost. Redemption only works every so often, and with petrification there’s always a chance they might escape to wreak havoc again. I mean, look at what happened with Discord! Obviously he’s better now, but would you want to take the same risk twice? I certainly wouldn’t!”

“B-But, when I gave the order to destroy the statues, I-I didn’t mean…” Twilight desperately tried to reason her words with the unintended consequences.

“Oh look, shift change! Sorry Princess, gotta go!” The guard checked her watch, before giving a firm salute and starting to trudge off. “Listen, don’t listen to what those gutter press ponies might write about you! They may scream ‘murderer’, ‘tyrant’ or ‘butcher’, but I know you’ll always do what’s best for this country! You have my vote, anyway. Well, be seeing ya!”

How could I forget… why did nopony tell me before they did this? For the first time, Twilight was beginning to learn the full extent of the awesome power she now wielded as the leader of Canterlot, where her every command was followed to the letter. It’s not like the stone they were made from was magical either, it was just created by magic! The remnants must’ve merged with the enchanted stone, for a seamless final product. T-That means…

What it ‘meant’ was there would always be a small part of Tirek, Chrysalis and Cozy Glow in Twilight and her friends. Whether they liked it, or not.

On the plus side, at least I’ve saved the crown some money on any future bail hearings which were due to take place every hundred years, or so. Twilight tried to think positively, even in the face of such an unwelcome outcome. Also, no grieving relations to comfort! Tirek’s brother Scorpan is long gone, I doubt the rest of the Changelings will miss Chrysalis much and who knows where Cozy Glow came from. So why do I feel like...

Trotting back despondently to the castle to break the news to Spike, Twilight passed the new statue of herself and the others, too deep in contemplation to even glance back…

...And if she had, she may have heard an evil chuckle coming from nearby.

Or maybe it was just the wind.

Author's Note

Another little idea I had, that I decided to explore in greater detail. Hope you enjoyed reading it, and stay tuned... much more updates & one-shots on the way. :twilightsheepish: