Flinching

by Voxum

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Sad, Original Character
Length: 2995

"So, why do you flinch when they laugh? It's a subtle thing, but... your ears start twitching, your body stiffens, and your eyes get this... panicked look in them. We may not know each other, but... I can't help but worry."

She didn't think anypony would notice. Nopony ever had before. Not her parents, not her brother, no one.

But then somepony did.

She wasn't ready to be confronted about it.

In hindsight, she was happy that somepony had.

Published 2020-07-01 21:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-07-01 21:40:00 UTC

The Only Chapter

"Hey, you're Twilight Sparkle, right?"

"Umm, yes! Is something wrong?"

"Not really, but I was wondering if I could talk to you in private for a bit. Is that okay?"

"Uh, sure, though I have some re-shelving to do at the library. Is later okay?"

"Sure. I'll drop by the library at about 7:00. That fine?"

"Okay."

Twilight waved the strange stallion away, feeling both confused and, perhaps, a tad happy. Confused, obviously, because she didn't know what he wanted to talk to her about, and happy because it could very well be a friendship problem she could help solve. Though she could probably afford to be more cautious of the stranger who'd approached her, and probably should be, but this was Ponyville, not Canterlot. Ponies here were much friendlier than anypony else she'd ever met! Plus, she was certain her friends would've warned her if there were any shady characters in town.

Who knows, she might even be able to make a new friend out of this!

So, with more energy than she'd thought she'd have, she set about doing exactly as she had told the stranger, and got re-shelving, as she did every week.

The simple, repetitive work helped ease her mind of her everyday worries, as it always did. In all honesty she didn't really need to re-shelve anything. The system she had in place was designed to be easy to update and use. She'd never needed to re-shelve or even sort the books in the library since making it when she was first given the Canterlot Public Library to study in. She didn't allow anypony to put the books back themselves, making a proper 'Drop-Off' for any returned books so that she could tend to them herself, meaning that she made certain every book was in its rightful place.

No, the only reason Sunday became 'Re-Shelving Day' was to relax. She wasn't sure why it helped her calm down like it did, but she was grateful she'd discovered it after a rather explosive test back in Canterlot knocked everything off the shelves.

She had every single book and its placement memorized, needing rarely more than a glance to find out where it belonged. The autonomous activity made it easy to parse through recent events and sort through her thoughts regarding them.

Not much had happened recently, aside from the whole Discord Incident a few months ago. Well, that, and her minor breakdown regarding her friendship letters and due dates the week after.

But she'd already done three re-shelving days to sort through those messes. Princess Luna's visit during Nightmare Night was pleasant, though. Then there was the issue with Applebloom and the cutie pox. Then Rainbow Dash's pet and the whole 'Mare-Do-Well' the month after that and...

Okay, so maybe a lot had happened recently, but they were all pretty easy to think through, and really didn't need a dedicated Re-Shelving Day-or two-like Discord and her breakdown had.

So all that really left were the most recent-and not world ending-things that had popped up. Oh! And Hearth's Warming in a few weeks, couldn't forget about that!

Her friends-and wasn't that amazing to say?-had invited her out for a lunch the other day, and it had provided a good opportunity to figure out what each of them might like for Hearth's Warming. Rainbow Dash was the easiest, something to do with the Wonderbolts would go down well. Fluttershy was the same with animals, and Pinkie with some kind of homemade dessert-she would need Spike's help-so that really only left Applejack and Rarity to shop for.

And, maybe, the new pony who'd approached her earlier.

She paused at the thought.

Right, she was going to be having a guest over at 7:00 tonight, to talk about... something. What did he have to talk to her about? He hadn't mentioned that it was important, or, at least, hadn't said it was a problem or anything.

Thinking about the stranger, Twilight couldn't help but frown.

He'd been... dull. No, not dull, but monotone would probably be the best way to describe it. His voice had been flat, and his expression just so. He was familiar, she'd most definitely seen him around town a few times, but she didn't think she'd ever heard his name before. Thinking about it, he was a bit... creepy, actually. The flat expression made it very difficult to tell what he was thinking and the equally flat tone made it seem as though he was perpetually annoyed. Definitely off-putting.

Oh, but she shouldn't think like that! Everypony had their own faults and issues, and she shouldn't try to judge them for how they appeared!

7:00 rolled around faster than Twilight expected, and she'd just about finished up re-shelving when the library door opened.

"Hey, Twilight? You in here?" the flat voice of the stranger called. Twilight perked up, peeking through the door leading into the main room,

"Yep! I'm here! Feel free to sit down, I'm just finishing up!"

"Mmkay."

Maybe a minute later and she was finished, walking into the room with the stranger.

She took a moment to give him a careful once over, finding him... odd.

His coat was a light gray colour. His wavy mane and tail, long enough to reach his chin and the floor respectively, were a deep crimson with a single, off-center pink streak running through them. He had a set of bright pink eyes the same shade as the streak, and a cutie mark of a roughly cut heart made of stone on his flank. She might've mistaken him for a mare if it weren't for the shape of his muzzle and how deep his voice was, actually.

"So, um, what did you want to talk about, Mister...?"

"I'm Stone Heart. Nice to meet you."

Twilight nodded, before she approached the couch Stone was sitting on, but hovered nervously without sitting down.

"S-so... what did you want to talk to me about, Stone?" she asked anxiously, eyeing him with a bit of worry. Stone regarded her for a moment, before nodding,

"Right. Before anything else: If I'm making you uncomfortable, don't hesitate to ask me to leave. I'm not the best with this kind of thing, so just... be aware of that, okay?" Twilight blinked, but eventually nodded, though, perhaps, a bit more hesitantly than before.

"A-alright. What is it th-then?"

She couldn't help the stutter. The stallion's words were ominous, causing an undercurrent of worry to spike through her. Plus, with how flat his expression and tone were, she couldn't hope to even guess what he was thinking.

Stone Heart stared at her for a bit and, after a moment, he nodded.

"You always flinch whenever those friends of yours laugh around you."

Her eyes widened immediately, and the world around her froze. Her heart beat faster and her breaths started coming quicker. She would've started hyperventilating if it weren't for the fact the stallion was still talking.

Somewhere in her subconscious, she was quite glad he'd chosen that moment to glance away, staring out the window,

"So, why do you flinch when they laugh? It's a subtle thing, but... your ears start twitching, your body stiffens, and your eyes get this... panicked look in them. We may not know each other, but... I can't help but worry," he began, frowning, the display of emotion lost on her rapidly freaking out form, "I mean, if I noticed it, as infrequently as I see you, why haven't your friends noticed it?" he asked.

He noticed He noticed He noticed He noticed He noticed He noticed He noticed-

NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNo!!!

Her head swam suddenly, her legs going numb as she fell onto the couch. She shivered in place and-

"Twilight."

Her head snapped to face the feminine stallion, who had gotten closer without her noticing. He didn't seem all that worried, but the expression on his face... it was tired, exhausted, even. He didn't say anything more, simply reaching out a hoof and rubbing it against her back.

They didn't do anything else. The sound of her rapid breathing filling the silence.

This wasn't her first panic attack, and she honestly doubted it would be the last. That being said, it also wasn't the worst, or the easiest, either. Even so, the temptation to bolt out of the room, either up the stairs or out the door, were so very enticing, but she didn't. Some part of her seemed to latch onto Stone's calm demeanor, using it as an example for herself.

Eventually, her breathing calmed, and her heart with it.

It didn't stop the shaking or shivering, nor did the sweating cease immediately, but his presence, and the rubbing, were helping immensely.

This definitely wasn't his first time dealing with a panic attack either, she felt.

She had to admit, this was a first. In all her life, she'd never had somepony else help bring her down from one of her attacks. She had enough incidences in her youth of rushing to the nearest isolated spot, a closet, cupboard or, if she was lucky enough to be at home, her room, where she'd curl into a ball for the foreseeable future, begging and praying to someone-anyone-that it would be over soon.

She had never mentioned them to anyone, not even her family. She'd been ridiculed enough for her intelligence and love of books as a foal to allow that to be another source of it.

"I-I... I'm o-okay..." she stammered. Her voice was shaky, but that wasn't a surprise. Going from total calm to absolute panic would take a toll on anyone, even if one were slowly brought back to calm. Stone pulled his hoof away from her back, a guilty grimace on his face. She had little reason to doubt why.

Still, she kind of missed his hoof. It really had been comforting.

"Sorry about that, Twilight," he said, looking away from her, "I... I shouldn't have been so up front about it. I should have tried going slowly, coaxing you into talking about that instead of just... putting it out there."

Twilight swallowed, and nodded,

"Y-yeah... you sh-should've... but i-it's okay," she said, trying to give him a small smile, it turned into a weak grimace, "You... you didn't kn-know how I'd react to that-" neither did she, to be honest, though a small part of her had thought it would, if it had ever been brought up, "-s-so don't... don't worry about it."

He shook his head, however,

"No, don't make excuses for me," he said, his tone taking on a sad inflection, if slightly, "I... I pushed you into a panic attack. I should've known it would be a sensitive subject, I shouldn't have-"

She silenced him, gently, with a hoof to his lips.

"You had g-good intentions, I'm sure," she said, smiling softly, "S-so, yes, don't w-worry about it," she added, a bit more forcefully, shaking her head, "Y-you don't even know me, b-but you're obvious-sly concerned ab-about me. I can tell that y-you're a good pony, and that you di-didn't mean for it to happen, so-so don't, don't blame yours-self."

The stallion scoffed, but a small smile formed on his lips for a moment,

"Heh... so forgiving. I suppose that's one of the reasons why you're so popular in town," he said, looking back at her. Twilight flushed a tad,

"I-I'm not that popular... i-it's just because of all the c-crazy stuff that happens around m-me and my f-friends..." she stammered, a bit more from embarrassment this time. Stone smirked, but it fell when he shook his head,

"W-well... I did have a reason to bring that up with you... that is, if you're still willing to talk," he said, his eyes shining with concealed worry, "I... I would understand if you wanted me to leave and not come back..." Twilight shook her head,

"N-no... it's fine... what is it?"

He swallowed suddenly, his breathing coming in a bit harder, and Twilight realized she might not be the only one who suffered from panic attacks.

"W-well... Y-you can probably guess, but I-I..." he shook his head, "I'm not...the best at emoting," he began, turning back to her, before smirking, "I-I've gotten a lot of practice, o-over the years, but if-if you think I'm bad now, you should've seen me as a colt," he said, the smirk falling, "I grew up in Manehatten, specifically the less... financially well off areas of Manehatten. A-anyway, the school I went to had a bullying problem, a-and well... You can probably guess where I'm going with this..." he muttered, shivering slightly.

Twilight swallowed, and reached out a hoof to gently rub his leg.

He sent her a smile, and continued,

"Well... the other foals there thought I was weird. They thought I acted funny, like I was a statue. They-ah-they..." he breathed in, "They wanted to get a reaction out of me, since I never r-really showed one. They'd-they'd try anything j-just to see if I'd react," he cracked his neck, shaking slightly, "I-it wasn't much at first. Loud sounds, bugs in my desk, notes on my locker, light pranks like that, b-but when I didn't react, things got worse. They started stealing my things, and returning them broken or covered in some muck. Then it progressed into shoving and name-calling," he suddenly let out a chuckle, rubbing the back of his head, "There was even one time a filly chucked a rock at the back of my head hard enough to give me a concussion. It all came to a head when th-they l-lock... locked me in the-the-ah... the b-b-boiler room, and-"

He shuddered, wiping at his forehead, breaths coming in quickly. He slumped against the couch, and Twilight was there for him, just as he had been for her.

She didn't know how long they were like that, but he eventually calmed down. His eyes were locked onto the far wall, his voice coming out in whispers,

"... I was stuck in there for almost eight hours. It was... dark, so dark, and... and no one was coming to help me. I screamed and banged against the door for hours, but... but nobody came... I had my first panic attack down there, just in time for the janitor to come by. My family moved away after that, but the damage was done. After that, I always had trouble with dark places, always started hyperventilating when the lights were shut off," he sighed, then looked at her, "I-I asked that because, well... i-it's not really a secret around town that you didn't have friends before coming to Ponyville... a-and when I saw you flinching when they laughed, I... well, I got worried that you had problems as well."

They stared at each other for a moment, before Twilight nodded,

"Y-yeah... I-I had trouble growing up as well," she bit her lip, "I was pretty anti-social as a filly, and I loved learning and reading more than anything. The other f-foals thought I was weird as well, and no-nopony would play with me. B-but when I was accepted into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns a few years early, things got... worse. I-I was being tutored personally by the P-Princess, a-and the other unicorns thought that I-I didn't d-deserve it, so... the-they would take my books and rip them up in front of me. I-I sometimes got sh-shoved into my locker, b-but I could get out pretty easily... I-I wanted t-to make friends, b-but whenever I tried the o-other ponies would push me around and laugh at me, so I stopped trying. But th-they... they always laughed," she swallowed, "e-every time, they-they would laugh, and-and I'd hear them laughing and-and they just wouldn't stop, and-!" she choked up, taking a deep breath.

She felt his hoof wrap around hers, calming both of them down, thankfully. She sighed, sending him a watery smile,

"I-I know they're not lau-laughing at me, but s-sometimes I can just... hear them, and I get sent back to-to back then, and... it hurts."

Stone Heart gently squeezed her hoof, before pulling her into a rather abrupt hug. She gasped, lightly, but returned the gesture, smiling faintly.

She could feel each of their heartbeats slow down, a calming air washing over them as time passed.

Twilight hummed to herself.

It was good to know somepony who was like her.

Several months would pass after this meeting, bringing many changes with the passage of time.

Re-Shelving Day turned into a thing of the past. Every Sunday would find the two new friends, Twilight Sparkle and Stone Heart, meeting up at a local cafe where they'd talk about their past week, and generally get to know one another, growing closer by the day.

Twilight would learn to come to terms with the past, finding that she flinched less and less each time she heard her dear friends laughing.

Stone Heart steadily grew more emotive as days went by, the constant interactions with a trusted friend seemed to help the stallion come out of his shell.

Both ponies still experienced panic attacks, however. But, unlike before, they now had somepony who could, and would, calm the other down every time.

Perhaps the biggest change was the various introductions Twilight had between her new and old friends. The mares and Stone Heart's meetings, and everything that followed, would surely haunt Twilight for the rest of her life.

But that's a story for another day.

Author's Note

I wouldn't mind doing a sequel for this story, if ya'll would like. Plus I'm beginning to find I really like all the extra ideas rummaging around in my head thanks to all the craziness going on.

(I figured this was an AU because of the bullying + getting into CSGU early. If I'm wrong, please correct me, I'd appreciate it!)

I hope you enjoyed. Constructive criticism appreciated. See you next time!