Chapters I squeezed my eyes shut, fear threatening to overcome me. “Oh, please, Lord, please…” I whispered as I lay on the ground, “please don’t let this be real.”
I quickly opened them again to see that nothing had changed since I had them open a few seconds ago. There were still a pair of hooves attached to silver-coated legs in front of me, their view obscured just a little by the Christmas-gold hair I now wore. I watched the foreign limbs start to shake as tears started to well up in my eyes. I desperately didn’t want to be where I was.
“Please, God, don’t let me be here!” I asked again, louder this time. “Please don’t let this be happening to me!”
I was lying on my back, staring up at the moon. It was a clear night outside, calm and bright, and I could sense it was nearing twilight as I heard birds chirping around me. It was quiet where I lay, with dark houses in front of me, signifying that whatever creatures were in there were still sleeping. Creatures like me I assumed, the thought of which made the tears that were forming threaten to spill out.
“Calm down,” I whispered to myself, hating the voice that came out. I absolutely hated it, and felt a few tear droplets work their way out. “Calm down!” I demanded myself, still whispering, trying to take deep breaths. “You’re going to be fine! You just have to calm down. You’ll be okay.”
I was lying to myself. I wasn’t going to be fine. I didn’t know what just happened to me, and didn’t know why it happened either, but I knew four things about my current situation that would make sure I wasn’t going to be fine. The first thing was that I wasn’t at home, or anywhere near it. I didn’t know exactly where I was, but I did know I wasn’t on Earth, what with the strange looking buildings that had overly bright, unrealistic colors, as well as the unicorn shaped face made from the dark spots of the moon. Besides, I knew that no one from Earth looked like how I looked.
My current form was the second thing. I wasn’t a human being. I was a… I didn’t know. I assumed I was something a lot like a horse, but not entirely the same. I didn’t look entirely like one, nor did I feel like one, not that I knew what being a horse felt like. I did know that horses had eyes on the sides of their faces and long muzzles, neither of which was the case for me. The face on this body was rounded, with its eyes in front. As well, the coat I wore felt more like fur than it did hair, and I felt much smaller than an actual horse. The word pony came to mind when I thought about my new appearance.
Because of how small the body I inhabited felt, another word came to mind: child. It was the third thing that was upsetting me. I felt like I was in a child’s body, or, in this case, a child pony’s body. I didn’t want to be a child. I didn’t want to be subject to the whims of others. I knew that whoever saw me- whether human, horse-like thing, or anything else otherwise- would be concerned about me and want an explanation. For some reason, I really didn’t want to deal with that. I did not want to relive childhood, especially not as a horse in a world I didn't.
The final thing I was upset with was my voice. It was squeaky and high pitched like a child’s. More than that, it sounded like a girl’s, with a body to match it. It took only a few seconds of me being here to figure out I was no longer in a male’s body, and I didn’t like it. On its own, it would trouble me, but combined with everything else that was happening at the exact same time, the thought of being a girl now was so uncomfortable that I had to choke back my tears. I had a sudden, extreme urge to break down right then and there.
“Don’t break down,” I thought to myself, closing my eyes. “Don’t break down. There’s no reason to break down. Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
It was a phrase I liked, my confirmation verse in fact, and I found myself saying it often, mostly whenever I was getting frustrated or feeling troubled. To me, it said, "God is always with you and he'll never leave. It's not worth getting angry or upset over little things because He's always with you, and you should never be afraid because He has a plan for your life." However, as I said it, it didn't give me the comfort it usually did. I was still very afraid of my current situation, and felt the very tiniest sliver of doubt in the words I thought.
“Stop that,” I whispered to myself harshly, clenching my jaw. “There's no reason to doubt or be afraid. Figure out what’s going on and where you’re at, and go from there.”
I lifted my head and looked around again for a few seconds, as though I'd suddenly recognize where I was, before giving up. I knew it was a waste of time. Laying there looking around wasn't going to tell me where I was. I needed to get up and get to… somewhere . I didn’t know where, or what to do when I got there, but doing something was better than nothing.
I turned over to my stomach and carefully stood up, my new legs shaking. It wasn’t just the newfound anxiety and panic I had though. The sensation of standing felt awkward, like I was standing on my tippy toes, except with just one toe that was completely flat. It felt like my feet were positioned where my ankles should have been, and I nearly fell over just standing.
“Carefully,” I told myself as I took a shaky step forward. “Go slow.” I felt clumsy as I started forward, moving as slowly as possible to make up for any lack of coordination I now had. My joints didn’t move how I expected, and I had no idea what the correct technique was. Not that it mattered though. I had no idea where I was stumbling off to or where anyone who could help me would be, if there was someone who could do something.
I suddenly felt another wave of panic and terror at that thought, the idea that I would stay here forever, and fell back down to the ground. I was very afraid, but I forced myself to take another breath and push the fear back down. “Surely always,” I whispered again, this time with a little more conviction.
I watched both the sun rise and the moon fall as I stayed laying on the ground. I noticed that they were moving much faster than they would in the real world, and let that observation give me a little hope. It was a bit unnerving to watch, but I took it as a sign that I might have been dreaming. It didn’t feel like one, but it was a convenient and reasonable explanation. The idea that I was somehow lucid dreaming made more sense than the idea of me actually being wherever I was as what ever I was. Not that it wasn’t impossible for me to truly be here, but I was more comfortable with the idea that this was a dream. The idea that I was really here had more uncomfortable implications attached to it than just what was stated before, and I decided that I would just go with the idea that I was dreaming for the time being, despite not completely believing it.
I took a second to try and remember what happened immediately leading up to my appearance, but came up empty. The previous day was blank in my mind, as were the several days before them. It was concerning, but I tried to convince myself that, since this was a dream, I’d have trouble remembering things that happened in the real world. I didn’t know how true that actually was, but I liked the explanation.
I watched as the sun reached the midway point in the sky just a few minutes later before it finally stopped moving, and noticed other creatures, ponies like me, make their way out of their houses. They were a multitude of colors, from dark red to bright blue to brilliant yellow and everything else in between, all a weird cartoonish sort of color that colored everything around me. They had smallish mouths near the bottom of their faces, along with impossibly large eyes that took up about two-thirds of their headspace. It was a bit creepy of a sight to see, and creepier to know that I probably looked very similar to them.
I let the sight of them feed into my explanation that this was just a dream, that this wasn’t real. Nothing this… bizarre looking could possibly exist in real life. The thought calmed me down as I continued to look at them as they did… whatever it was they typically did. Mostly just hurrying off to different places, smiling at and greeting each other as they passed by. As they left what looked to be their homes, I began to see that there were a few distinct differences that separated them into smaller groups of creatures than just horse-ponies. They were simple enough, unicorns with horns, pegasi with wings, and regular ponies with neither. Quickly looking myself over, I saw that I was a regular… pony . Or, as regular a pony I could be, given what I was seeing in front of me.
I took a quick breath and closed my eyes again as I continued to lay on the ground. “Calm down,” I quietly told myself. “This is a dream. This isn’t real. You’re going to be fine because this isn’t real.”
“What are you doing?” someone, somepony , a girl, suddenly asked me, a curious tone in her voice.
My eyes once again shot open as I looked to see a small pegasus who was no bigger than me. She had an orange coat that contrasted well against her purple hair, mane , with matching purple eyes to go along with it. Her wings were small, smaller than I expected, and I got a sort of ‘tomboy’ vibe from her appearance despite just meeting her.
“Why are you laying on the ground?”
“I… I don’t know,” I answered, taking a breath to keep myself calm as I found myself hating the girlish, childish voice that came out, believing a little more that this was a dream. “I’ve no idea what I’m doing.”
She stared at me silently with a questioning look on her face for a few seconds before speaking again. “Are you okay? Cause, no offense, you look like you’re about to cry.”
I closed my eyes for a second and sighed. “Yes, I’m fine,” I lied as I picked myself back up from off the ground.
She watched skeptically as I slowly did so, my legs shaking under me once again. As I concentrated on not falling over, the pegasus asked, “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“This is a dream. It’s not real,” I thought, before answering, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure, but I don’t really know.”
“Okay… if you say so,” she told me doubtfully. “Who are you anyway? I haven’t seen you around here before.”
“This isn’t real,” I told myself again, more forcefully this time. “This. Isn’t. Real. You’re going to be fine.”
"No, I'm not from around here," I answered simply, staring at my legs, my hooves , as I once again started to take very small, shaky steps forward. I wanted to make my way to somewhere else, even if I didn't know where somewhere else was . I didn't know why, but the idea of going somewhere else made me more hopeful that none of this actually happened to me. It made me more hopeful that this was all a dream.
“Are you absolutely sure you’re okay?” the pegasus asked me as she watched me slowly and awkwardly move forward. I nodded my head, but she pressed further, unconvinced. “You don’t look okay. Are you sick?”
“No, I’m fine,” I said, half to her and half to myself. “I’m just… I don’t know. I just wasn't expecting to be here. I’m probably fine though.”
“What were you doing laying in the middle of the road anyway? Trying to get a cutie mark in getting trampled on?”
I stopped my attempt at walking and debated for a moment whether I should ask the obvious question or to just answer with “no”. A few seconds later, I decided that my question's implication, if it had one, didn’t matter since this was a dream. “What’s a cutie mark?” I asked the orange pegasus.
Her eyes went wide in shock at that, as though I asked what year it was. “You don’t know what a cutie mark is?” she asked back, completely flabbergasted.
“No…” I trailed off. “Not really”
She continued to stare at me with eyes that clearly didn’t believe what her ears heard. “Uh, I think we should find a grown-up. You’re definitely not okay.”
Author's Note
Art of our protagonist, by Eponasong :
“Why are you moving so slowly?” the orange pegasus asked me, sounding exasperated as she used her head to push me from behind. “We need to get you to the hospital! You could have brain damage!”
“Don’t push me,” I told her. “I don’t want to trip and fall over. And I don’t have brain damage.”
“Maybe that’s why you were laying on the ground earlier!” she continued. “Maybe you tripped and hit your head, and now you can’t remember what cutie marks are!”
“This isn’t real, this is a dream,” I silently told myself before speaking again. “I don’t have brain damage,” I asserted, “and I’m pretty sure no one in my family has a ‘cutie mark’.”
“Wait, what?” she started, taken aback as she stopped pushing. “Nopony in your family has a cutie mark?”
“No, not that I know of,” I explained, “which would be why I don’t know what that is.”
“Not even your parents?”
“Um, no?”
“How is that even possible!” she almost yelled. “Everypony has to get their cutie mark eventually ! Right?”
“Well, my parents aren’t ponies, so…”
I said those words and immediately hated them. It forced me to fight back another wave of anxiety at the prospect of this... scenario being real. This wasn’t me. I wasn’t a pony. I was an adult human male, not this… horse girl . This was a dream. It had to be. At the very least, I would tell myself it was until I was proven otherwise. There were a lot of uncomfortable things I’d have to work through if this was truly reality, and I really didn’t want to deal with them if I didn’t have to.
“Hmmm…” she said thoughtfully. “I guess it makes sense why you wouldn’t know… Hey! I have an idea! Since you said you’re not from here and you obviously don’t know anything about being a pony, you could come to school with us today and learn about it!”
My inclination was to say no. I’d only been there a few minutes, but somehow it felt like saying yes was accepting this… situation as reality. But I forced myself to rid that inclination from my mind. This wasn’t real, and saying yes wouldn’t mean anything. The only way for this to be real was if God put me here, and while I couldn’t say for absolute certain he didn’t put me here, I still believed it was highly unlikely that that was the case. This was just a dream. A lucid, highly realistic dream, but a dream nonetheless.
“Come on!” she insisted, seeing my doubt. “Your parents won’t get mad at you, will they? If they’re not ponies, this could be your only opportunity to learn about cutie marks! Me and my friend Sweetie Belle could teach you all about them!”
I focused on the words ‘your only opportunity’ and let them relax me. This was obviously a dream, and my subconscious was trying to tell me so. It was saying that I should just go along with it because this wasn’t real .
“Well… if you say so…” I told her, deciding to play this dream out. “I don’t see why not.”
“Great!” she let out, putting on a wide smile. “I’m sure Miss Cheerliee won’t mind! Her classroom is actually really close to here! Just follow me!” The pegasus then quickly turned around and raced forward in what I assumed to be the direction of the school. I watched her run for a few seconds before she stopped and called out to me. “Come on!” she yelled, then started to run again.
“Lord, if it’s in your will, please let this be a dream,” I whispered in prayer as I once again started to make my way forward.
I stared at my feet, my hooves , the whole time as I moved. I talked to myself as I did so, telling myself which leg to move, gradually speeding up from a crawl to a slow walk. Apparently, though, the pace I was going wasn’t fast enough for the pegasus, as I saw her come rushing back to me. “You’re going so slow!” she complained. “It’ll take years to get there at this rate! What's taking you so long?”
“I don’t want to trip,” I told her as I continued to walk on what felt like my tippy toes. “How far away are we going?”
“The schoolhouse is right there,” she told me, using a leg to point in its direction. It was a small, red building, and looked to fit the definition of ‘schoolhouse’. From where we stood, it looked to be about three or four hundred yards away. “If we sprint, we could get there in, like, a minute,” she told me.
“I won’t run,” I responded. “Like I said, I don’t want to trip.”
“Well, no offense, but I’m gonna run. I’ll go down there and tell Miss Cheerilee you’re coming.” With that, she took off again, leaving me to slowly follow in her direction.
It took about ten minutes for me to catch up to her with as slow as I was going, and saw the building in full detail when I got there. It looked to be a one room building, with a large school bell on top and a small playground in the back. I thought it looked very girly, with hearts plastered all over the building and its overall red and pink color. There were also a lot of what I assumed to be kids standing around talking, all of them just as brightly colored as everything else around me. They were every color on the spectrum, from white to dark brown to brilliant blue to bright yellow. If the orange pegasus I met earlier was any indication, I’d guess they were in the seven to ten-year-old age group. I briefly considered not going, both because of the kids and the school's design, but eventually decided to play along with whatever scenario I hoped was a result of my subconscious.
“There she is!” the orange colored pegasus said to a larger, mauve colored… pony with pink hair, who I automatically assumed to be a school teacher, seeing as she was the largest person around. “That’s her!” she continued, pointing at me.
I felt myself blush at those words, embarrassed. I was uncomfortable by the use of the word 'she' to refer to me, and once again, the anxiety of this situation being real started to creep up on me. However, I forced myself to ignore it as the larger horse-creature approached me.
“Hello,” she started politely with a smile. “My name is Miss Cheerilee, and I’m the teacher of this schoolhouse. Scootaloo tells me you’re new here to Ponyville?”
She wore a smile while she said it, but I could tell she was concerned. She likely saw my slow, awkward walk up to her, and that pegasus, Scootaloo, might have told her about the fact that I was found lying on the ground. It would be an understandable reaction. Still, I decided not to be concerned about it since this wasn’t real .
“Um, yes,” I answered, all of a sudden feeling very shy. “I, um, I…”
“She said her parents weren’t ponies, so I thought it would be a good idea if she came to our class for the day!” Scootaloo interrupted. “I mean, she doesn’t even know what a cutie mark is!”
“Do your parents know you’re here?” the teacher asked me.
I debated for a second whether or not to lie to her before opting to stay neutral. “I don’t think my parents would mind that I’m here.”
I didn't like saying that. I felt like I was lying just saying those words, even though it was probably a technically true statement. Even if it wasn’t true, it wouldn’t have been the fact that I was saying something I knew to be false, it was the fact that I was intentionally misleading someone to benefit myself. Still, it might not have been wrong to say because I wasn’t trying to benefit myself at her expense, but I didn’t like the idea that I only might have not been doing something wrong.
“No,” I thought to myself. “You’re not doing anything wrong. What you tell these… horses… doesn’t matter because thisisn’treal. This is just a dream.”
Miss Cheerilee looked at me skeptically for a few seconds before she spoke. “Well, you’re certainly welcome to join us for class if that’s the case,” she told me. “If you want to head inside, we’re actually getting ready to start our first lesson in a few minutes.”
She probably figured that it was better to keep me in her sights than it was to turn me loose, and she watched as I followed Scootaloo inside the building. “You can sit next to me,” the pegasus chattered excitedly as she sat down, pointing to a desk next to her. "I’ll show you my friend Sweetie Belle once she gets here!”
I was suddenly feeling like this dream was lasting a very long time. I’d never had a lucid dream before and had only been here for a few minutes, but I was suddenly feeling like this dream had been going on for too long. I quietly sat in the seat next to her as I tried to put my fears out of my head.
“Stop it,” I whispered to myself, trying to keep myself calm. “Nothing is going to happen. This isn't real.”
“So where are you from?” Scootaloo asked curiously. “It has to be really far away for somepony to not even know what a cutie mark is and to have parents who aren’t ponies!”
I decided to take the opportunity to distract myself from my worries. Before I could answer though, I heard the teacher, along with about a dozen kids, join us inside the building.
“Alright class,” Miss Cheerilee said as they sat down at their desks, “we have a new student joining us for today, and I’d like you all to give her your full attention while she tells us about herself.” She then turned to me and asked, “Would you like to come up and introduce yourself for us?”
I blushed again, once again feeling shy. “Can I introduce myself while sitting here?” I asked.
“Everypony introduces themselves at the front of the class,” she explained politely with a smile. “Why don’t you come on up?” I don’t know why, but I shook my head, and she pressed further. “All you have to do is tell us your name and where you’re from,” she encouraged.
I sighed. “This isn’t real,” I told myself as I answered, "Okay," and stood and started the trip to the front of the room. “Just play along,” I told myself silently.
I noticed her watching my footsteps as I made my way up to her. She clearly trying to see if something was wrong with them, however, she didn’t comment on it, opting instead to ask me to turn around and face the class.
“How about we start with your name?” the teacher offered.
I took a breath and closed my eyes. “My name’s Ashle... er. Asher”
I had never been more insecure about my name in my whole life. My real name is Ashley, but I’d never really thought much of it. I knew it was a popular girl's name, but where I lived, I knew more guys with the name than girls. It wasn’t something I was ever teased about and I wasn’t ever really bothered by my having the name. However, at that moment, given my current form, I was feeling very bothered and insecure by the name I was given.
She clearly thought it was a strange name, or maybe she was confused by my stumble while saying it, but she quickly moved on to the next question. “Can you tell us where you’re from?”
“Um, I’m from a big city,” I answered kind of quietly. There was a brief silence, and I added, “It’s far away.”
“How old are you, Asher?”
My fear and anxiety made itself known again at that question, and I started to feel lightheaded as my limbs started to shake. It’d been a long time since I’d been this nervous over anything . The idea of this being real was absolutely frightening . I didn't want to be a child, I didn't want to be a pony, and I didn't want to be a girl. I certainly didn't want to be all three at once.
“Are you okay?” she asked me, concerned.
“I’m fine,” I lied, speaking softly. “I just need some water.”
“Well, we have a water fountain in the back of the class, near the restroom. You can take a seat after that if you’d like.”
“Thank you.”
I found my way to the water fountain and took several swallows. It tasted clean and sweet, and I tried not to let the thought of how real it seemed add to my fear. I knew I could taste things in my dreams. It had happened to me before. It wasn’t out of the ordinary.
I took another sip of water and swished it around my mouth, closing my eyes. “This isn’t real,” I thought. “I’m going to be fine. This isn’t real. There’s no reasonable explanation for my current... form besides the fact that I’m having a lucid dream. I should relax and enjoy it, especially since I don’t know if I’ll ever have an experience like this again.” Those thoughts didn’t make me relax much, but they did help a tiny bit. At the very least, my legs stopped shaking. “God’s not dead. He’s surely alive,” I whispered again, adding "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
I looked at the restroom in front of me and debated whether to use it or not. If I did, either I would wake up or I would prove this was real. However, I decided not to. I didn’t need confirmation that this wasn’t real, because I knew it wasn’t. Besides, I would wet myself in real life, and that wasn’t something I was really keen on doing.
I relaxed more, convincing myself more that this was a dream, and headed back to where I was sitting.
I sat back in the desk next to Scootaloo, watching as Miss Cheerliee looked at me with concern. The teacher was silent for several seconds after I sat back down, her eyes firmly fixated on me, before she started to speak again.
“Okay, class. Today, we’re going to start learning more about…”
“Are your parents really not ponies?” a voice behind me asked in a whisper. I looked behind me to see a white coated unicorn staring at me. Her hair, mane , was pink and purple, and she had a high pitched voice that I thought sounded like a toddler's. She had green eyes that were genuinely curious, if not a little disbelieving, of the fact I about my parents that I told Scootaloo.
“Yes,” I whispered back to her. “My parents aren’t ponies.”
“What kind of creatures are they then?”
I shook my head and quickly looked forward, not wanting to talk about it at that moment. “I might tell you later,” I said dismissively, placing my eyes on the teacher.
“She doesn’t even know what a cutie mark is!” Scootaloo whispered to the girl loudly as I tried to hide my embarrassment by the use of the word ‘she’.
“Really? That’s crazy!”
“I know! She should totally-”
“Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle,” I heard the teacher interrupt them. “Is what you’re whispering about anything you’d like to share with the whole class?”
“Um, no,” Scootaloo got out. “Sorry, Miss Cheerilee.”
With that, the two of them went silent as the woman started back on her lesson. It was largely uneventful, and the class stayed largely quiet as she taught what was a basic math lesson. Every so often she’d call on one of them to answer a question, although she never called on me. It felt like a typical school day, and was, in a word, boring, but also a tiny bit nerve-wracking. This day felt like it was going on a lot longer than it should have been for a dream, but I tried to convince myself that it was because my dream was lucid.
It felt like a couple of hours had passed since the class started before Miss Cheerilee ended the lesson. “Alright my little ponies,” she said, “it’s time for our break. I don’t think I have to remind any of you to stay near the school and be back inside in one hour, do I?” She then looked straight at me and told me, “Asher? Would you stay back here for a little while, sweetie? Everypony else, you’re free to go.”
I let out a small breath, internally cringing at the use of the word 'sweetie' as I watched everyone else practically run out of the room. Scootaloo stayed behind a little bit longer with the pony who sat behind me and called, “You should totally hang out with me and Sweetie Belle when Miss Cheerilee lets you leave!” With that, the two quickly ran outside with the rest of the students.
I watched as the teacher made her way up to my desk and looked down at me. “So how are you enjoying our classroom so far, Asher?” she asked with a kind smile.
“It’s fine,” I answered politely. “Good.” I paused for a second, adding, "You seem like a nice teacher."
“Thank you. I'm glad you think so. I saw you made a friend in Scootaloo. She told me your parents weren’t ponies. Is that true?”
Another wave of apprehensiveness shot up through me, and I closed my eyes. I’d never been so nervous in my whole life as I was in the last few hours, but I forced myself to keep calm. I opened them again shortly afterward, answering, “Yes, that’s true.”
She still had a smile on her face when I opened my eyes again, but she seemed more concerned. However, she still tried to continue to talk to me in the same cheery tone. "That's interesting. What kind of creatures are they?"
I could feel my apprehension turning into discomfort. "I'd really rather not talk about it right now," I told her.
"Oh, I'm sorry," she said sheepishly, wearing an apologetic smile. "Can I ask about how you moved here, though?"
I felt like she was trying to figure out something about me, which wasn't surprising. She was an adult, I was a child. Scootaloo probably told her about me, she saw me walk awkwardly, and I probably looked to her like I was going to be sick earlier. She'd naturally be concerned.
"Well, I'm not moving here. I'm only going to be here for a little while."
"Oh, okay. Can I ask how long?"
"I don't know. Probably only a day, then I'm going back home."
"I see. Can you tell me where home is? I mean, where is your family staying while you’re here?”
My words trailed off. “Um, well I…”
“Yes?” she asked, her smile dropping, the concern she had for me showing itself.
I don’t know why I was feeling the need to lie to her. This wasn’t real. Whether or not I told the truth wouldn’t affect anything. Still, I decided to be vague, and said, “I don’t really know.” I saw the look on her face, and quickly added, “But I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
This time, she trailed off. “I see…” She gave me a blank stare for several seconds, before continuing. “Well, if there’s anything you need while you’re here in Ponyville, please don’t be afraid to ask, okay?”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I answered, noncommittal.
With that, she put her smile back on. “You can head outside for break now. I’m sure Scootaloo and her friend Sweetie Belle are waiting for you.”
Cheerilee watched as the filly slowly and clumsily made her way out the door. She didn’t know what to make of Asher. It was already odd that she said her parents weren’t ponies. Combine that with the trouble the filly seemed like she had with walking, along with the fact that Scootaloo told her she was lying on the ground when she found her, and she was understandably concerned. The fact that she stumbled in her words when introducing herself as though she was hiding something didn’t help matters. It was worrying, and Cheerilee couldn’t help but think that she was running away, or that she was in an accident, or that some other horrible thing was happening.
The teacher had a general grasp on what she should do right now, but had no idea how to go about it. She knew in theory. She’d been trained on what to do, but she’d never actually faced the situation in real life. She knew she had to keep the filly from becoming suspicious and from wandering off…
And she’d just sent her outside! Cheerilee quickly rushed out of the building to see that, much to her relief, Asher was standing and talking to Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. Or rather, the two were talking to her while the filly listened quietly. The teacher sighed in relief, taking the opportunity to get the class’s attention.
“Excuse me? Everypony?” The whole class quickly put her attention on her, and she continued. “I know I said you all could go outside for recess, but I have something I need to take care of, and I really need you all to stay in the classroom.” She heard several cries of disappointment, and added, “To make up for it, we’ll make this break extra long okay? Now I need you all to head inside. Nopony is allowed to leave until I get back, understand?”
“Tell us what kind of creatures your parents are!” Scootaloo told me excitedly as the three of us sat back down inside. “We really want to know!”
Before I could say anything though, we were interrupted by a mean sounding voice. “Why are you two talking to the new girl?” another girl’s voice asked condescendingly. I turned and saw not one, but two girls marching up to me. One of them had a silver coat like mine and light grey hair with glasses, along with a necklace of pearls. The other one had a pink coat and hair that was purple and white, with a tiara worn on top of her head. They both sent a look my way that suggested they didn’t like me
“She acts weird and walks funny.” the pink one said to them. “Why would you ever want to hang out with her ?”
“Hey, leave her alone, Diamond Tiara!” Scootaloo’s friend, Sweetie Belle, let out in a very squeaky voice. “She’s not doing anything to you!”
“Yes she did!” the girl, Diamond Tiara, argued. “She's making us stay inside for recess! A new pony shows up, and all of a sudden we can't be outside? It’s obviously her fault we’re in here!”
“It’s not her fault she’s new in town!”
“She talks weird, she walks weird, she had a weird name, and she said her parents aren’t even ponies. I knew you two were losers, but why would you ever hang out with someone like her?”
“Stop being a bully, Diamond! Those things aren’t her fault!”
I found Scootaloo agreeing with her that I was weird to be an interesting way to try and defend someone, but I didn’t let it get under my skin. They were kids and they were trying to defend me. Besides, even if they weren’t, this was a dream so it didn’t matter.
“She’s the one who caused us to have recess inside!” Diamond Tiara said defensively.
“She didn’t mean to! That’s no reason to bully her!”
“We don’t even know who she is!”
“You would if you would’ve asked her!”
I didn’t care about being considered weird, but even if this was a dream, I really didn’t like the idea of kids fighting because of me. I wanted to put a stop to it. “I’m sorry I made you stay inside,” I apologized, “but I’d really rather not have you guys fighting because of me.” I wanted what I said to sound assertive, but this… voice made it seem shyer than I was intending.
The girl with the tiara stared at me for several seconds before responding. “Whatever,” she humphed. “Hang out with her. It just proves what losers you both are. Come on, Silver Spoon.” With that, the two left, Scootaloo rolling her eyes as they walked away haughtily.
“I can’t stand those two!” Scootaloo quietly seethed as the three of us watched them leave. “They pick on us every day!”
“Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are the worst !” Sweetie Belle agreed.
“You can, ah, just try ignoring them,” I offered, feeling uncomfortable about the whole situation. I quickly tried to change the subject, saying, “You never told me what a cutie mark is.”
“I still don’t understand how you don’t know what that is,” the pegasus told me, not nearly as excited or happy sounding as she was before. “I mean, even if your parents aren’t ponies, you have to have heard about it at some point, right?”
“No, I can’t say I ever have,” I told the two of them innocently.
“It’s a mark you get when you discover your special talent!” the unicorn told me.
“It’s what makes you different from everypony else!” Scootaloo added.
I thought that was interesting, and briefly wondered what my special talent would be if the dream I was having was real. I was working on my business degree, and was the manager of a restaurant, but didn’t know if those things counted as ‘special talents’. I was religious, but nowhere near qualified to be a priest or any sort of thought leader. Honestly, I could have been a bit more up-to-date with my knowledge of the Bible. I wasn’t super smart or physically gifted, and honestly struggled to come up with something that I was better than average at. However, I put that depressing thought out of my head. It didn’t matter what ‘special talent’ I might have because this wasn’t real .
“None of us have ours yet, though,” the pegasus continued. “We’re all still blank flanks.”
“Blank flanks?”
“That’s where a pony gets their cutie mark, on their flank,” Sweetie Belle said, pointing to her side, near her butt. She then gave me a puzzled expression, asking, “Have you never seen a pony with a cutie mark before?”
“I’ve never seen any other ponies before,” I told them. At least, I didn’t ever see ponies like them.
“What! Did you even live in Equestria?” I debated asking what that was, but decided to simply assume that was where this dream was taking place, and answered with a no. “What kind of pony are you?” Scootaloo asked me.
I shrugged, not quite wanting to say I wasn't a pony yet. “No offense,” the other one told me, “but Diamond Tiara was right. You really are weird.”
I shrugged again, simply saying, “I guess.”
“You never told us about your parents,” Scootaloo said.
“Yeah, tell us what your family’s like!” Sweetie Belle added.
“Well, I mean,” I started as I thought about them. “They’re pretty normal, I think.”
At least, I thought they were normal enough. I still lived with them as an only child in Delaware while I was finishing school, and thought that they were good enough parents. I loved them, and they loved me, but we disagreed on quite a lot. Normally, from my experience, it was the parents who were religious conservatives and the child who was atheist, but in my case, it was the other way around. There were very few points I could safely say we agreed on, and I mostly tried to avoid talking to them about things like that.
I contrasted well against a lot of the people I knew. If I had to label myself, I’d say that I was a “moderately religious” person. I went to church every Sunday. I was baptized and took Confirmation as a Lutheran. I prayed before every meal and celebrated major religious holidays and all that jazz. Outside of church, though, I mostly didn’t talk about my faith, and never discussed politics. I really didn’t like making people angry, and knew it was one of those things where, if it was brought up, people would argue. A little bit also had to do with the image I knew I would give off by talking about my beliefs, and the tiny bit of shame that would come with it. I knew I shouldn’t have been ashamed to discuss it, but it was the feeling I got, and I felt ashamed for feeling ashamed of talking about it. Because of that, I decided to simply avoid the feedback loop by changing the subject whenever it was brought up.
“What kind of creatures are they?” Scootaloo asked.
“Humans,” I said simply. I didn't want to say that I was a human yet, but had no issue with saying that my parents were. Not that they knew what a human was. The two of them gave me a blank stare like they didn’t understand, so I decided to elaborate.
“Um, well, start by imagining a… pony ,” I explained. “Except without a tail or fur, and very tall. Oh, and they only use two legs to walk, and have hands instead of hooves. That’s basically what a human is.”
I received another blank stare from them for a few seconds before one of them asked, “And you’ve never seen another pony ever ?”
“Nothing like you all, no.”
“That’s so weird!” she announced. “Were all your friends hu… hoom… uh, those things, too?”
By now, a few other students had come over and started to listen in curiously on what I told them. It once again brought back my unease, and that sneaking suspicion that this wasn’t a dream tried to work itself upon me again. I started to feel a bit nauseous from the conversation, despite being okay just a few seconds ago. I didn't know what it was, but, for some reason, I didn't like the direction this conversation was headed in.
“Are you alright?” Scootaloo asked. “You look a little sick.”
“I’m fine,” I answered. “I just- I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
The rest of the break we had I thought was fairly boring, it being spent playing a class sized game of 'Duck Duck Goose'. Or rather, they played while I watched, seeing as I lacked any sense of coordination at that point. Everyone else besides Diamond Tiara and her friend participated, the two seeming content to talk to each other and occasionally glance at me angrily. It went on for a while before Miss Cheerilee finally returned from whatever it was she was taking care of.
"I'm sorry I was gone for so long everypony," she apologized to us. "I had something very important I needed to do. I trust that you were all well behaved while I was gone-"
"What did ya have ta do that was so important?" someone asked her curiously in a very thick country accent.
"Nothing that you need to be concerned about, Apple Bloom," the teacher answered as she made her way to the front of the room. “In any case, let’s get started on reading and writing. I’ll keep this portion of class a bit short to make sure we get out on time. If everypony could get out his and her notebook and pencil, please?”
I copied Scootaloo and used my nose to open my desk, finding nothing inside. That was to be expected though, considering I was supposed to be a new student in this dream. I looked up and watched as Miss Cheerilee used her mouth to take a notebook and pencil from her own desk and headed over to me.
“Here you are, Asher,” she told me kindly, setting the materials in front of me. “I know you told me that you’d only be here for today, but I thought I’d let you have a whole notebook just in case.”
I decided to ignore the implication of her words, knowing it would just make me nervous for no reason, especially considering this wasn’t real . Instead, I watched as she went back to the front of the class, turning and facing us to say, “We’ll keep our lesson easy and just have a writing prompt for today.”
With that, she used her mouth to pick up a piece of chalk and write something on the board, and said once she was finished, “I want you all to write a one-page story based on this sentence.”
I couldn’t help but feel my skin, my coat , prickle up and my mouth go dry at what was written on the chalkboard. Or rather, at what wasn’t written. I couldn’t make out the squiggles that were written in the place of letters. I didn’t understand what was going on; I’d watched her write numbers and math symbols on the board during the last lesson and could read them perfectly. Whatever she wrote on the board should have been just as understandable. The fact that it wasn't brought back the nervousness I'd been feeling the last few hours.
I realized that the nervousness I’d been feeling all morning could be much better described as a creeping sense of dread, and not knowing what was written on the board only added to it. I really didn't want this to be real. I didn't want to be this... animal . The thought of being an animal was extremely scary, to the point where I had to force my legs not to shake. I tried to keep myself calm, though, and pushed everything being an animal might mean out of my mind. I would deal with that when it came to that, if it came to that, which it wouldn't because this was just a dream.
“Lord, please just let this be a dream,” I whispered, nearly inaudible, closing my eyes as I did so. “Please, when the morning comes, let me wake up safely in my bed. I ask-”
“What are you whispering about?” the orange pegasus next to me interrupted curiously.
I opened my eyes again to see her staring intently at me. “Um, it’s nothing,” I told her, giving an embarrassed cough. “Can you tell me what the teacher wrote?” I asked quickly.
“You can’t read what Miss Cheerilee wrote?” I shook my head, and she started, “It says we have to start our story with-”
“Scootaloo,” the teacher called out flatly. “I hope there’s a good reason you’re whispering during class again.”
“I was just helping Asher with the assignment, Miss Cheerilee,” Scootaloo explained. “She said she couldn’t read what the board said.”
That was another thing that was really starting to bother me. I was getting intensely uncomfortable with the use of the word ‘she’ to refer to me. It made my skin prickle more, but I forced myself to ignore it as the teacher started to speak to me.
“Is that true, Asher?” she asked, seeming like she wanted to add more onto her question.
She watched me carefully as I debated my response. I had a feeling I knew what she was thinking. She didn’t look at me like I was in trouble, she looked at me like she was concerned about me. I worded my statement with the same care she watched me with, and told her, "Yes. I can’t read what the board says.”
She stared at me for a little while longer, and I felt myself blush as I looked down at my desk. “Can I get another drink of water, please?” I asked, my mouth feeling even drier.
“Yes, of course,” she told me, and waited expectantly as I went to the fountain for the second time that day. I was feeling very self-conscious as she watched me walk over and take another drink. I was hating how suspicious she was of me, and wished that she had someone else to put her attention on.
“Now,” she said as I made my way back to my seat, “For those of you in the back who can’t see what’s written, it says, ‘as I opened the door, you wouldn’t believe what I saw’. As I said, I want you all to write a one-page story based on this sentence. I’ll give you all about an hour to work on it, and then we’ll be done with class for today.”
Cheerilee tried to use lesson planning for the next day to distract herself from how inadequate of a solution she had for the filly. It wasn’t good, but it was the best she could come up with on extremely short notice. Of course, she might not have needed to do anything. Cheerilee might simply have been overreacting, and preferred to think so. However, despite what she hoped, she knew she had to prepare for the worst. For now, though, she tried to put the thought out of her head and focused on creating her lesson plan. Or, she tried at least. Thinking about tomorrow simply made her more concerned about what she should do and how she should handle Asher.
Eventually, to try and put those thoughts out of her head, the teacher got up from her desk and started to walk around the classroom to view the current progress of each student’s work. She went row by row, working her way front to back, taking a little while before getting to Asher. Unlike the other students, several of whom were already a quarter to halfway done as Cheerilee passed them by, she was sitting there staring at her pencil, her page notably blank, seeming like she had no idea what to do.
“Asher?” she asked. “Are you okay, sweetie?”
The teacher watched her flinch a tiny bit at her voice. “Yes. I’m fine,” she answered quietly without looking up. “I’m just thinking. I’m sorry.”
“You’re okay. I just hope I can see what you can come up with before you leave us.” Asher didn’t respond to that, and simply kept on staring at her pencil. The teacher waited silently next to her for a few seconds, seeing if she would start to write something. When she didn’t, Cheerilee started to speak again.
“You know, I’m sure if you wrote down the first sentence, you’d start to come up with something.”
“Um, I’m fine,” she responded shyly. “I- I’m sure I’ll think of something.” She gazed up at the teacher, and then quickly looked back down, slightly embarrassed. “I can’t write when people are watching me,” she added.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Cheerilee smiled sweetly. “I’ll leave you alone now.”
The teacher walked on to see what the next few students had written, waiting a few minutes before glancing at the filly again. She didn’t know how she should feel as she watched her use her mouth to shakily copy down what was written on the board. It honestly looked like she’d never written anything in her whole life, seeing how slowly she was going and how she glanced back up at the board every few seconds in an effort to imitate what was written.
“Of course, it could just be that she’s not feeling well,” Cheelilee thought to herself. “She does seem a little sick. Besides, you remember what you thought about Scootaloo, right? You’re probably overreacting. You’re just concerned because she’s new.”
I didn’t even bother trying to write with the hoof I now possessed, opting instead to pick up the pencil with my mouth like most of the rest of the class had done. I tried to ignore the fact that Miss Cheerilee had also picked it up with her mouth when she gave it to me as I very carefully started to copy down what she wrote on the board. It took a few minutes for me to even figure out how to press down hard enough in the notebook to get something written, and even then, they were still only just dark enough for me to see. After that, I started to copy the words, the squiggles , she wrote on the board, but I wasn’t able to get more than three-quarters of the way through the sentence before Miss Cheerilee called the class’s attention again.
“Okay, class. I know we haven’t had much time to work on our stories, but it looks like it’s almost time for lunch. I’ll have you all finish up what you were writing tomorrow. For now though, you can all put your notebooks away and I’ll let you be dismissed.”
I’d never seen a group of kids leave a school so quickly. In the blink of an eye, there were only four of us left in the building, although I let it how quickly they left be a sign that this wasn't real. Although, it was weird to know that it was only lunchtime. It felt like a whole day had gone by in the span of a few hours. I decided to be ignorant and simply say it was because of the dream I was having as well.
“You should come and eat lunch with me and Sweetie Belle, Asher!” Scootaloo told me. “Then we can tell you more about cutie marks and stuff. I mean, if your parents don’t care.”
“I don’t think they’ll care,” I started, “but I’m not sure-”
“Oh, you should totally let us meet your parents!” Sweetie Belle got out in a high pitched voice. “I wanna see what they look like!”
“If it’s not a problem, I’d really like to meet them, too,” Miss Cheerilee told me, suddenly appearing next to us. She was once again wearing a smile, one that I’d come to know well in just a few hours. It was that same kind smile that let me clearly see how concerned she was despite her attempt to hide it.
“Um, I’m not sure if you can,” I told the three of them.
“Why not?” Miss Cheerilee pressed in a voice that blended curiosity, suspicion, and worry.
I'd never been so apprehensive in my whole life as I'd been in the last few hours since I got there. I decided that I needed to verbalize the reality of the situation. “Well, uh…” I started nervously.
"Yes?" Miss Cheerilee asked, tilting her head slightly.
I swallowed and said, “You won’t be able to because this is just a dream. This isn’t real, so...”
The three looked at me with expressions that asked me if I was being serious, the teacher herself raising an eyebrow. I looked back down at my desk and quickly said, “That- that was a joke.”
Author's Note
You can let me know if the pacing of this story is too slow
Lofty Dreams And Apparent Holidays
“Aunt Holiday! Auntie Lofty!” Scootaloo called just as the four of us made our way out of the building. I watched her quickly run up to two… ponies and ask, “What are you two doing here?”
I watched two of them, one a pegasus and the other a normal pony, smile and make their way up to her. The latter looked like she was a bit on the heavier side, with red hair and a red-tinted, off-white colored coat. The former looked like she was a bit older than her companion and on the thinner side, with a cream-colored coat and short blue hair. I saw that she was also wearing a sweater, which I found… odd to say the least. No one else was wearing clothes, so it stuck out to me. It also made me a tiny bit self conscious at my lack of clothing, but I pushed that feeling away, telling myself that it didn’t matter because this was a dream.
“What, are we not allowed to pick our favorite niece up from school?” the one with the sweater asked with a light laugh.
“I’m your only niece,” Scootaloo laughed back. “And you don’t need to pick me up from school. You guys haven’t before.”
“Well, if you’re so certain about us not picking you up,” the pegasus continued playfully, “I guess me and Aunt Holiday can just go to Sugarcube corner by ourselves…”
“I- I just said you don’t have to pick me up,” the orange pegasus backtracked quickly. “But I mean, you can if you want.”
“Well, why don’t we head on over now then?” the other pony, Holiday I learned, responded with a kind smile in a very heavy British accent.
“Oh! Oh!” Scootaloo started excitedly. “Can my friends come, too?” she asked.
“Sure they can come,” Holiday said. She then turned to us two, telling us, “It just needs to be okay with your guardians, Sweetie Belle and…”
She took a few steps closer to me and squinted, inspecting me. “I don’t think I’ve seen you with Scootaloo,” she commented. “What’s your name, little filly?”
Something about the way she said that made an unwanted connotation pop into my head. I very much got the impression that her calling me ‘little filly’ was the equivalent of her calling me ‘little girl’, the knowledge of which made me blush hard. I looked back to the teacher for a second only to see her smile and nod at me.
“Aww, shy are we?” the woman continued as I stared at the ground, still blushing.
“That’s Asher,” Scootaloo told her, introducing me. “She’s new in Ponyville.”
“She said her parents aren’t ponies!” Sweetie Belle added.
“That’s very interesting,” she said politely, in a way that was meant to sound surprising, but gave me the impression she’d already been told this. “If your parents don’t mind, you can come and eat with us if you’d like.”
I knew I should just go along with it since this was just a dream. However, I found myself wavering at the prospect. I really didn’t like the idea of being a kid, and was very ill at ease with everyone using ‘she’ and ‘her’ to refer to me. I knew it shouldn’t have mattered since this wasn’t real , but I could feel it getting to me.
“Thank you, but I’d really rather not,” I said shyly, still looking at the ground.
“Oh, is it your parents?” she asked. “Do they need you back home?”
“It’s not them. It’s just…” I started, trailing off. I was feeling extremely paranoid. I knew she was trying to bait me into going by asking about my parents. I didn’t know why I was concerned though. It wasn’t like any of this was real. But that feeling of paranoia remained.
“If your parents don’t mind,” the teacher interjected, “then you should go with them. I think it would be fun, and you could get to spend more time with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.” She then gasped as if something occurred to her and said, “You know what would be really fun? If you had a sleepover with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle! Don’t you think that would be fun, Asher? I’m sure Miss Holiday and Miss Lofty wouldn’t mind.”
I didn’t think it was possible for me to blush harder. I was hating this feeling of being treated like a little girl. I also realized immediately that setting up this situation was what Miss Cheerilee was doing while she was out “taking care of something”. I was probably giving off the vibe of some kid who was homeless or who ran away. She probably wanted to make sure I was safe, and this was her way of doing that.
Before I could protest though, Holiday spoke up. “Lofty and I think it’s a wonderful idea, Miss Cheerilee,” she said in a way that confirmed that this was a preplanned arrangement. “What do you say, Scootaloo?”
“Yeah!” she answered. “The three of us should totally have a sleepover! Right, Sweetie Belle?”
“Yeah! I’m sure my sister, Rarity, won’t mind!”
With that, the group’s eyes turned to me. I was still looking at the ground when Scootaloo spoke. “Come on! It’ll be fun! We can play games and eat snacks and tell stories…”
“Plus, we can teach you about ponies since you said you've never seen anypony else!”
“Yeah!”
I rubbed my hoof behind my leg and exhaled. “I- I don’t know,” I stammered in a whisper. I really didn’t know how I felt about having a sleepover with children, especially little girls, and the idea made me apprehensive. “I really don’t know,” I continued, embarrassed.
“I really think you should go,” Miss Cheerilee told me, looking down at me with an almost sad smile. “I think it would be a lot of fun if you girls had a sleepover together. You could eat some Ponyville food, sleep in a nice, warm bed, and then go home with your parents tomorrow.”
I did my very best to ignore my intense embarrassment at continuously being called a girl and my irrational paranoia at her clearly thinking I was homeless as I closed my eyes. “Just go along with it,” I told myself. “This dream should end soon. At the very least, the day is halfway over, so it’s just another half a day of this at most. Then you’ll wake up at home in bed and forget all about this a few minutes after that.”
“Okay,” I said quietly. “I… I’ll go.”
“Yay!” Scootaloo cheered. “This is gonna be so much fun!”
“Lord,” I silently prayed, “If it’s in your will, please let this dream end by the end of the day. Please don’t let this be real. I ask that you wake me up in my home after I fall asleep.”
The walk over to the restaurant took a little while because of how slowly I was going. The two girls urged me to go faster, enthusiastically telling me about how good the place we were going to was.
“Sugarcube corner is the best restaurant in Ponyville!” Sweetie Belle squeaked. “They have cakes and pies and cookies and ice cream-”
“It’s really good! You’re going to love it!”
“If we ever get there! You’re walking soooo slowly!”
“Um, I don’t want to trip,” I said, looking at my feet, my hooves . “I’m sorry,” I continued.
“I’m sure there’s still going to be treats for us at Sugarcube corner when we get there,” Holiday chuckled. “Let’s let Asher walk at her own pace.” She went silent for a few seconds, then continued, “Actually, why don’t you two run along ahead of us. Lofty, could you go with them?”
“Not a problem,” she told her, and I watched her give her a quick kiss before heading off with them.
I immediately grimaced and felt my cheeks go red at the sight. I felt very bothered by the site for multiple reasons. Part of it was my extreme dislike at what they were doing, and part of it was my own insecurity that their kiss brought me. However, I forced those unpleasant thoughts out of my head. First of all, I wasn’t like that. Plain and simple. Second, being gay wasn’t wrong, the actual act itself was what was wrong. And even if it wasn’t just the act itself that was wrong, this was an animal and animals don’t have to follow the ten commandments. And even if they did , this was a dream, so none of what she did actually mattered.
"How are you feeling, Asher?"
“Oh, why am I so horrible?” I thought. “It’s not like I… ugh. Unless you’re going to say something, stop judging her. You don't get to judge people. Only God gets to judge them. You just get to politely tell them that it's wrong, and it doesn't look like you're doing that. Besides, it’s not like you… ugh! Unless you can say you’re sinless, stop being judgemental. Unless you’re going to speak up and say something to her, stop thinking about it. This isn’t real, and even if it was, it’s not like you can say you’re any… ugh, I hate myself!”
“Asher, are you okay?” Holiday asked me.
I looked back up at her and saw that she had a concerned look on her face. I realized then that I had stopped walking and was clenching my teeth to their breaking point. I took a breath to try and relax myself, responding, “Yes, I’m fine. I’m sorry.”
“Well, why don’t we keep going and meet up with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, okay?” she told me in her thick British accent. “I’m sure they’re waiting for us at Sugarcube Corner already.”
With that, we started our slow progress once again. We were quiet for a few minutes before a building that looked a lot like a gingerbread house started to enter our view. As well, about that time was when she started to try and engage me.
“How are you liking it in Ponyville so far, Asher?” she asked. “I know Miss Cheerilee told me you just got here, but I hope you’re enjoying it so far.”
“It’s good,” I told her simply, staring at my hooves as I walked, making sure that I didn’t trip.
“That’s good. I hope Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle are treating you well. I know you girls will have a lot of fun sleeping over tonight.” She paused, and I could almost feel her smiling at me while I still looked at the ground as she continued. “Speaking of which, how are your parents? Miss Cheerilee told me that they aren’t ponies.”
“Yes, that’s true.”
“That’s interesting. Are they here for the Summer Sun Celebration?”
“I- I don’t know what that is.”
“Ah, okay. I guess it is still a bit early for that. Can I ask what kind of creatures they are?” she asked.
“Well, um, they’re tall…” I started before changing my mind. “Actually,” I told her, “I don’t want to talk about it.” I loved my parents, I really did, but I preferred not to think about them when I could because of how different we were from each other.
“Are you sure they’ll be okay with you staying over tonight?” she questioned. “I know you told us they wouldn’t care, but maybe we can talk to them just to be sure.”
“It’s- that’s fine,” I got out. “You don’t need to do that. They won’t care.” There was a brief period of silence before I chuckled nervously.
“Are you sure?” she asked. “If there’s something wrong, you can tell us.”
For a moment, I considered expanding on what I started to tell the rest of them back in the classroom, but decided against it. I didn’t need more of the crazy looks they gave me back there, and it wouldn't change anything anyway. This dream would end when it would end, and that would be that. Whether or not I told her wouldn’t affect that.
She stared silently back at me for a little while as we walked before commenting. “Well, as long as your parents aren’t concerned, then there shouldn’t be an issue.”
I didn’t want to mislead her. I really hated misleading her. I knew that she was concerned about me and that my concern about what she thought was irrational since this wasn’t real , but I was feeling paranoid anyway. I really didn’t want this to be real, and didn’t know what I would do if it was.
“You guys took forever to get here,” Scootaloo said to me, her mouth filled with brownies. “I honestly started to think that maybe you died.”
“We saved you some food though,” Sweetie Belle added.
“We didn’t know what you wanted, so we got you some muffins.”
“Chocolate chip!”
“Um, thank you,” I told the two politely as I stared at the plate of half a dozen muffins. “I don’t mean to be rude, but is there anything else?” I asked.
“What, you don’t like muffins?” Lofty asked me, sounding a bit confused.
“I do,” I explained, “but I was just… expecting something different… I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” she told me. “What do you want to eat?”
“Well, are there any more… lunch-type foods? I’m just not that big a fan of desserts...”
"Oh, well, they don't really serve "lunch" food here... but we can eat someplace else if you'd like," she offered.
"Oh, no, you don't need to do that," I backtracked. "Muffins are fine. Thank you though, uh, Miss Lofty."
"We'll take some if you don't want them," Scootaloo said. I heard Holiday clear her throat and saw her give the girl a look, and she continued, "If you want to share, I mean."
"Sure, you can both have one if you want," I told them. I watched them each excitedly take one, then closed my eyes and whispered an almost inaudible prayer over my food.
"Our Father in heaven, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, we come before you to thank you for the food you've provided for us to eat. Please bless this food for the nourishment of our body through your loving Son. In Christ Jesus's name we pray, amen."
I reopened my eyes to see four sets of eyes casting weird stares at me, and immediately felt very self-conscious. I'd whispered prayers in public before, and never received stares from people because of it. I was feeling very uneasy right then from their looks.
"Uhhhh... what were you doing?" Sweetie Belle asked me curiously.
For some reason, I felt myself tense up, as though I was doing something wrong. "What do you mean?" I asked back.
"You had your eyes closed and were whispering something."
"Yeah, you did that in class, too," Scootaloo
I felt very on the spot at that moment and very uncomfortable. "Well, um, I was just..."
“OH MY GOSH!” someone suddenly yelled, startling me. The next thing I knew, I was face to face with a bright pink mare with blue eyes and a very creepy smile. I fell out of my chair and onto my back in surprise at her sight.
“I’ve never seen you in Ponyville before! What’s your name? Where are you from? Do you have any friends yet? How old are you?”
On and on she went, asking another question before I even had a chance to answer the previous. Someone coming up like this would normally startle me, but with how sudden it happened, it had me frightened to the point where I almost peed myself like a little kid. Almost . I luckily wasn’t a little kid and had enough self control to not do that. As much as I was disliking this dream, I would have really disliked wetting the bed in real life. Still, though, the pink pony was freaking me out.
“Oh! I know!” she said as she hopped up and down like a rabbit, something that shouldn’t have been possible for her to do. “I should throw you a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ surprise party! Don’t you think that’s a good idea? Huh?”
Suddenly, her face was against mine, our noses touching. She looked at me like she was waiting for an answer, and I stared back at her wide eyed at the unexpected gesture. I didn’t know who she was, but she was entirely too close for comfort.
"Uh, Pinkie?" Scootaloo said as I started to back away, speechless. "I think you're scaring her."
"I'm sorry!" The pink horse giggled. "I just get so excited to meet somepony new!" Then, she gasped again, saying, "I just got the perfect idea for the surprise party I'm going to throw for you! You're going to have so much fun! I have to get to work!" With that, she ran off, disappearing again.
“Uhhhh, what was that?” I asked, still laying on the ground, still a bit startled by what had happened.
"That was Pinkie being Pinkie," Lofty told me with a light laugh. "Meeting somepony new is like a holiday to her."
“Oh, don’t mind her,” Holiday said. “Pinkie Pie's a very nice mare. She just gets a little over-excited sometimes She does that to everypony she meets.”
“She throws a party for every new pony in Ponyville,” Scootaloo added. “She won’t let you leave without one.”
Author's Note
Side note: Outside of Starlight, Aunt Holiday is the best pony in all of existence
“Okay, so the filly is staying with us tonight,” Lofty said as she, Cheerilee, and Mayor Mare sat in an office in the Town Hall. “What are we going to do with her tomorrow?”
“Well,” Cheerilee started, “I was thinking that I would cancel class for my older students to try and talk to her tomorrow. I know it would be better to get to her today, but she just seems so timid and sensitive, and I don’t want to make her scared.”
“Word should be arriving soon to nearby cities with her description to see if anypony is missing her,” Mayor Mare commented. “Although I have to ask: do you really believe her when she says her parents aren’t ponies?”
“Well… I’m not sure,” the teacher answered. “It seems unlikely since she told me she’d only be here for one day and we haven’t seen any other creature here, but I’m not entirely sure. She seemed uncomfortable talking about it, and it didn’t sound to me like she was lying.”
“Not to mention, Scootaloo and her friend said they wanted to teach her about ponies,” Lofty added.
“Of course, we would have noticed creatures who aren’t ponies wandering around Ponyville, don’t you think?” Mayor Mare spoke up.
“Well, I’m not sure how truthful she’s being when she says those things. She might just not want to go back to her parents for whatever reason. Of course, all of this could just be a big misunderstanding and she could be telling the complete truth.”
“Okay, what do we do if she’s not telling the truth?”
“Well, like I said,” Cheerilee told them, “I’ll talk to her tomorrow, and we can have her stay with you, Lofty, for the time being. Actually, even if she’s being truthful, we might see if she can’t stay with you and Holiday, at least for a couple of days. There are some other things about her that have me a little bit concerned.”
“Okay, bear in mind that if she ends up staying long term, Scootaloo’s parents should be back just after the Summer Sun Celebration, so she won't be able to stay with Holiday and I much after that.”
“Oh, I’m sure that won’t be an issue,” Cheerilee told her. “There're plenty of adults in Ponyville Asher can stay with when we get to that point.”
“If we get to that point,” Mayor Mare corrected. “It’s still possible that we’re overreacting to her being new, and getting overly concerned for no reason… although I guess it is better to be overly concerned than it is to be under concerned.”
“I really hope we’re being overly concerned about her,” Cheeilee said, then silently thought, "I really hope I'm being overly concerned about her."
Everything about this situation was making me uncomfortable. I really, really, really didn’t like the idea of having a sleepover with little girls, the idea of which only being made worse by the fact that I was a little girl myself. I was almost afraid of the situation I was in, and had to force myself not to hyperventilate as I followed the group into Scootaloo’s house. I was feeling extremely nervous, and I tried to put those feelings out of my head by telling myself that this wasn’t real for what had to have been the twentieth time that day.
“Just get to the end of the day,” I thought to myself. “Once you go to sleep, you’ll wake up at home and this will be over. Just get to the end of the day.”
The house we entered into was kind of old-timey looking. With pale blue walls that had random knick-knacks hanging up on them and a sewing machine sitting on a table in what looked to be a dining room, it gave me the impression that this was an older person’s home, and was what I would have expected to find in someone’s grandmother’s house.
“Why don’t you show your friends to your room, Scoot?” Holiday told the pegasus. “Help them get situated and such before you guys get to doing whatever you’re going to do for the afternoon?”
“Okay!” the girl said excitedly. “Follow me!”
I followed the two of them up a set of stairs and into what I assumed to be Scootaloo’s room. It had pink walls and toys on the ground, which contrasted against posters of a blue pony with rainbow-colored hair and a skateboard and scooter leaning against one of the dressers. It looked to me like a crossover between a bedroom for a little girl and a preteen, and I got the feeling that she was sort of a tomboy. Taking another look around though, a concerning question quickly came to mind.
“Where are we going to sleep?” I asked.
Scootaloo laughed at that like it was the most obvious answer in the world. “On the bed, of course! Where else would you two sleep?” At that response, I felt a wave of anxiety and nauseousness wash over me as Sweetie Belle laughed along with her.
“I- I’m not sure I’m okay with that,” I said shyly as I looked down at the ground, embarrassed.
“Why? I’m pretty sure there’s enough room for both of you…”
“Plus, we can snuggle!” Sweetie Belle added. I felt another wave of anxiety come over me as I tried to respond to that suggestion.
“I- I really, really don’t want to do that,” I stammered out, blushing hard at the idea of being snuggled by her. I absolutely did not want to snuggle with them, and found myself wishing I would wake up before the time came to go to sleep. “I’d rather not sleep in the same room, honestly,” I continued.
There was a brief pause before Scootaloo asked, “Do you not like us?” The two of them looked hurt by what I said, and I tried to explain myself to them.
“Well,” I started, “I mean, I’m actually a boy, so…”
Their hurt expressions were quickly replaced by looks of confusion at that suggestion. “You’re a boy?” Scootaloo asked skeptically.
“Um, yes,” I whispered, feeling my already warm cheeks get hotter. “I’m a boy.”
Before I could stop her, I saw Sweetie Belle was getting behind me and tilting her head to look under me. “You don’t look like a colt,” she said.
“Don’t look at me!” I told her, almost yelling as I crossed my legs, completely embarrassed and slightly ashamed. “Please don’t do that!” I said as I subconsciously tucked my tail in between my legs. I’d been largely trying to ignore the fact that I was currently indecent, and she just brought it to the forefront. Right then, I’d never felt so anxious and embarrassed in my whole life.
“Don’t do what?” Sweetie Belle asked me innocently.
“Don’t… just don't... nothing. Never mind.” I got out, trying to get off the subject. “I’m not a girl, okay?”
“Then what are you? Cause you don’t look like a colt to me.”
“I’m a boy who’s-” I started to say, then suddenly stopped. I knew exactly what I was about to say and felt ashamed of myself because of it. I’m a boy who’s inside a girl’s body . If I’d been told that by someone even yesterday, I wouldn’t have taken them seriously. I wouldn’t have been mean to them or said anything, but I would have gone out of my way to make sure I wasn’t around them, and might have laughed at them behind closed doors. Internally, I would have simply said, ‘You’re a girl in a girl’s body’ and completely dismissed them. Right now though, I was cringing at myself for thinking that before.
“No, it’s not the same,” I thought. “This is different. You’re actually a boy. They’re not… You’re not actually... Oh, why am I so horrible?”
“A boy who’s what?” Scootaloo asked, curious about what I was going to tell her.
“Nothing,” I told her. “I have to go to the bathroom.”
Asher gazed into the mirror in the bathroom.
What she saw was a pony, a filly, with a bright silver coat, long golden hair, and light blue eyes. It made her think of Christmas colors, ruined only by the fact that her eyes weren’t green. Despite having no clue what the beauty standards in Equestria were, she guessed she looked nice enough. With her small size and large puppy dog eyes, she might go as far as to say she was cute. It didn’t change the fact that she absolutely hated her appearance, however.
“This is real, isn’t it?” Asher whispered as she looked herself in the eye. She couldn’t stand looking at the girl she saw. Despite being a pony, what she saw in the mirror looked distinctly feminine to her, as well as to the ponies around her. She clenched her jaw at the sight of herself, starting to tear up for the second time that day.
She closed her eyes and started to speak again. “Please don’t let this be real,” she said aloud quietly. “Please just let me wake up at home in my bed when I open my eyes.” When she did open her eyes again however, all she saw was the same silver-coated filly in the mirror.
“This isn’t real,” Asher told herself, trying to fight back the urge to start crying. “This can’t be real. There’s no way this is real.” She watched the filly in the mirror copy her shaking legs and trembling lips. Seeing the mirror copy her movements only added to the sense of dread she was already feeling.
“Why is this happening to me?” she asked no one as her tears hit the floor. “I don't want to be here. I don’t want to be a girl.” That’s what was getting to her the most. She felt like she could deal with being away from home, with being a pony, and with being a child. It was being a girl that was getting to her, and she quietly sobbed at the idea of being one for the rest of her life.
“No, stop it,” she told herself after a few moments. “This isn’t real. There’s no way for this to be real.” She used a hoof to wipe her eyes and continued to try and calm herself down. “This isn’t real,” she said. “The only way for this to be real would be for God to have put you here, and I’m pretty sure God wouldn’t do that. So this isn’t real. This is just a dream.”
Asher took a few deep breaths and slowly let them out, trying to relax herself as she rubbed her eyes again. She was really hoping the dream she was in would end soon, but decided she could settle for waiting until the end of the day for it to end. She told herself it wouldn’t be that bad. She would just go through the motions of the dream she was in, go to sleep, and completely forget about this in the morning. Everything was going to be fine.
“I really have to pee,” the filly thought as she went towards the toilet before catching herself. “Wait, I can't do that.” she said to herself. “I don’t want to pee in real life.”
That was partly true. She didn’t want to risk wetting herself in real life. But more than that, she was afraid that she would use the restroom and nothing would happen and she’d still be a filly. Despite her knowing that it was increasingly unlikely, she didn’t want to give up on the idea that this was a dream, and decided she would hold out as long as possible. She would keep telling herself that this was a dream until proven otherwise.
“I can hold out,” she told herself. “No, actually, I don’t even need to go. This is all just in my head. This isn’t real. This. Isn’t. Real.”
Asher took one last look at herself in the mirror and sighed as she made her way out of the bathroom, stumbling into Holiday as she exited.
“Oh, I’m sorry!” the mare apologized as she helped the filly back up, using her teeth to grab her by the neck. “That was my fault. I’m sorry. Are you okay?”
The filly sniffed, telling her, “I’m fine. You didn’t hurt me.”
“Are you feeling okay?” Holiday asked a bit more quietly, seeing the sadness that was painted on her face. She placed a hoof on the filly's forehead and pushed some of her hair out of her eyes, asking, “Is something bothering you?”
She sighed, answering, “I’m fine. I promise.”
“Are you feeling sick or are your hooves bothering you? You look like you’re a little unsteady when you walk.”
“I just feel a little light-headed,” Asher said. “I’m fine though.”
Holiday stared at her with a concerned expression for a little while before finally speaking. “Well,” she told her, “if there’s anything you need, you forget that you can always ask me or Miss Lofty.”
“Okay, thank you."
The second I stepped back into the room, I was tackled by Scootaloo. It wasn’t a very pleasant feeling, seeing as I still didn’t have any sense of coordination, causing my legs to get painfully tangled up under me. Not to mention, I still had to pee, and having a small child land on top of me didn’t help.
“Ha! I got you!” the pegasus asked from on top of my back. “Did I scare you?”
“Oh, that hurt…” I got out. I was slightly concerned by the pain that I felt, but I put the thought of this being real out of my head. I’d felt pain in my dreams before, so it wasn’t completely out of the ordinary.
“Oops, sorry,” Scootaloo said with an embarrassed chuckle. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Can you get off of me, please?” I asked. “My leg is stuck under me and it hurts.”
“You should tell us about your parents!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed as Scootaloo moved from on top of me. “We really want to know what kind of creatures they are!”
“I- I’m kind of not in the mood to talk about them,” I told her as I rubbed the back of my leg. There wasn’t any particular reason I didn’t want to talk about them, it was just something I wasn’t in the mood to do.
“Come on!” the girl begged. “Please? We’ve been waiting all day for you to tell us!”
“I don’t know… I’m kind of tired right now anyway…”
“How are you tired already? It’s only like two o’clock! There’s still six hours until Celestia lowers the sun!”
I made a mental note of that. Nighttime was at eight. At eight o’clock I would go to sleep and this dream would end.
“Besides,” Sweetie Belle squeaked out, “we haven’t even taught you about ponies yet!”
“Yeah!” Scootaloo added. “We still have to teach you about ponies since you don’t know!” I sighed quietly, causing Scootaloo to frown. “Is something wrong?”
“Nothing. It’s just…” I trailed off.
“Just what?”
“It’s just that I’m afraid,” I thought. “I’m afraid that this is real and that God put me here and that I’ll be stuck here forever.” However, I kept these thoughts internalized as I took a breath.
“I’m fine,” I told them dismissively, picking myself up off the ground. “I’m just feeling a little sick is all. You can teach me about ponies right now if you want to.”
“Well, okay,” Sweetie Belle said. “First-”
“No, wait!” Scootaloo interrupted. “I’ve got something that will make you feel a hundred times better and can teach you about ponies!”
“Hey! Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo called out a while later. The three of us were standing outside under a cloud, looking up at a bright blue pony with rainbow-colored hair taking a nap. It looked like the same pony that Scootaloo had posters of in her room, and based on the excited look she had on her face, I could tell she adored this person.
I watched the pegasus yawn and stretch her legs at Scootaloo’s voice, and then suddenly shot down and scooped the girl up. I watched them fly around for a little bit, Scootaloo laughing as she rode on the pegasus’s back before she was set back down again a few seconds later.
“How’s it going, squirt?” the pony, Rainbow Dash, asked, wearing a smile on her face. “Long time, no see.”
“Hey, Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo said to her again. “We just wanted to show you our new friend! Her name is Asher, and she’s new to Ponyville!” She then turned to me and said, “Asher, this is Rainbow Dash, the greatest pegasus in the world!”
“That’s right!” Rainbow Dash confirmed. “I’m the greatest flier in Equestria! You’re looking at a future Wonderbolt!”
“Uhh… what’s a Wonderbolt?” I asked her. I didn’t know why I felt the need to ask. I knew asking would just make them confused. But I was curious and wanted to know what it was.
While I did expect confusion, what I didn’t expect the pegasus to do was fly up and come nose to nose with me like that other pink person did. I found myself stumbling backward onto my back like last time as she stared at me, slack-jawed and wide-eyed.
“WHAT?” the blue pony yelled. “You don’t know who the Wonderbolts are?”
“I- I don’t-”
“They’re the most talented fliers in all of Equestria! Every pony knows who they are! How can you not know about them?”
She kept her nose pressed up against mine as she stared into my eyes, waiting for a response from me. Honestly, it was a bit frightening, and I could feel my heart rate pick up as she continued to stare. I didn’t know what it was about these horses, but from what I could tell, they seemed to have no sense of personal space.
“Well?” she pressed, wanting an answer.
The moment seemed to last forever as she kept her face pressed up against mine. I was feeling very intimidated by her and found myself speechless because of it. Fortunately, though, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo eventually broke the silence.
“She doesn’t know because she doesn’t know anything about ponies.”
“She doesn’t even know what a cutie mark is!”
Finally she turned away from me as she said, “But how can she not know who the Wonderbolts are? Every pony knows who they are!”
From what I could tell based on appearances, she looked like an adult. However, the way she acted to me seemed much more like a child, or maybe someone in their early teens. She didn’t seem very mature from what I could tell.
“Well, she told us her parents aren’t ponies, so that’s probably why.”
The blue pegasus turned back to face me again, thankfully not nose to nose, and said, “So your parents aren’t ponies, huh? Then what kind of creatures are they?”
“Um, they- they’re hu-humans…” I stammered out nervously.
“Oh yeah?” she asked suspiciously. “And what exactly is a ‘human’?” I didn’t know why, but something about the way she asked me that was making me apprehensive.
“Uh, they’re r-really tall and have two legs and… you’re really freaking me out.”
“Why?” she asked, suddenly coming nose to nose with me again. “Is it because you’re secretly a spy trying to overthrow Equestria?”
“...what?” I got out.
“Maybe we should report you to Princess Celestia and have you interrogated. What do you think of that, spy?”
She stared me dead in the eye for a few more seconds, seeming completely serious, before she fell over as she burst out laughing.
“I got you good, didn’t I?” she laughed. “You really believed me, didn’t you?”
“Not really,” I thought as I stayed on my back, looking up at her. “You were just starting to make me claustrophobic.” This little joke she tried to pull on me just reaffirmed in my mind that, despite being as big as Miss Cheerilee, she was probably closer in age to Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle than she was to the teacher. Or, at the very least, she was a very immature adult.
“Listen, kid,” she started, “How you don't know who the Wonderbolts are, I don't know. But I can teach you all about them. I know everything there is to know. The history, their current members-”
“Why don’t you show her some of your tricks, Rainbow?” Scootaloo interrupted. I could tell that if she hadn’t, she would have started prattling off about them, whoever they were.
"You can show her some of the moves the Wonderbolts do!" I could tell she mostly wanted to watch the pegasus do tricks, but I didn't mind much and decided to go along with it.
“Okay, watch this !”
Asher sat up and watched as Rainbow Dash did… something . The filly couldn’t quite tell. She thought it looked quite a bit like a stunt plane routine, with many sharp turns and corkscrews and loop de loops. It looked impressive enough and seemed difficult to do, but it wasn’t really her thing. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle seemed awed and looked like they were enjoying it, but the best she could say was that it was interesting.
After about a minute, the pegasus came to a stop in front of her and asked, “So what do you think? Impressed yet?”
“Uh, yeah,” Asher told her politely, trying not to be rude. “It was good.”
“What, you didn’t like it?”
“No, I liked it,” she said defensively. “It’s just… not really… it’s just not really what I’m into. But it was good.”
“Oh yeah?” the pegasus started, seeming up to the challenge of impressing the filly. “Tough to impress, huh? Well, check this out!”
“She’s sure to like this!” the pegasus thought as she did another short routine. “It always impresses Scootaloo!”
“You’re amazing, Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo called happily. “You look awesome!”
The mare looked down to see both Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo enjoying her moves, but was surprised to see the silver-coated filly watching with a blank, almost bored, expression on her face. Still nothing?” the mare asked herself, confused. “How can she not be impressed by this? What if I…? Hmmmmm...”
All of a sudden, Asher found herself on Rainbow Dash’s back, soaring through the sky at who knew how high. Her eyes went wide as she immediately tensed up in fear. She absolutely hated heights, and found her forelegs wrapping tightly around Rainbow Dash’s neck.
“Pretty cool, huh?” the rainbow maned pony asked.
“I- I- I- I don’t-”
“If you like that, watch this !”
The filly’s grip on the pegasus’s neck tightened further as the two flew higher. Asher found herself wishing that she had fingers so she could latch on further. She shut her eyes and clenched her teeth in an effort to keep herself from being so scared.
“What do you think, kid?” Rainbow Dash asked as she looked back at her. What she saw though wasn’t what she expected. The filly on her back looked terrified, shaking and holding back tears as she breathed deeply to try and keep herself calm.
“Please put me down,” she asked, her voice cracking.
“Whoa, I’m sorry!” the mare apologized as she quickly descended. The filly gratefully stepped off her back and lay down in the grass as the pegasus rubbed a hoof behind her head.
“I’m sorry,” Rainbow Dash chuckled nervously. “We might have gone a little bit high there. I’m sorry… uh, are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” Asher said breathlessly, her eyes still closed. “I just… give me a few minutes to lay down.”
“Uh, you’re not mad at me are you?”
“No, just…” She shivered before she continued, “Please don’t do that again. I literally almost wet myself.”
“I, uh, I wasn’t intentionally trying to scare you. I promise.”
“I know. It’s fine," the filly said in between breaths.
Rainbow Dash frowned as she started to think silently to herself. “Crap, she’s gonna think I was trying to bully her because of this and that joke I tried to play earlier. I don’t want her to think I’m a bully… Ugh!”
“Uh… I think I should go…” Rainbow Dash trailed off. “But I promise I’ll try and make it up to you. I really didn’t mean to scare you like that.” She waited a second for Asher to respond, but only watched the filly sigh without saying anything. With that, she flew off a few moments later.
“Well that was a big waste of time,” Sweetie Belle said. “Rainbow Dash didn’t even get to teach her anything.”
“Yeah, and she wasn’t even impressed by her moves, and Rainbow Dash can impress anypony !”
“Is it okay if we went back now?” Asher whispered as she sniffed and slowly stood up. “It looks like the sun’s going down.”
Both Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle looked up to see Celestia quickly lowering the sun. “That’s weird. I didn’t think we were out here for that long. Maybe Princess Celestia’s lowering it early today.”
“Maybe. But I guess we should go back now. We don’t want my aunts to worry about us.”
“Stop shaking,” I told myself as the three of us walked back home. “It’s over now. Just breathe.”
“Please don’t be mad at Rainbow Dash,” Scootaloo told me as we walked. “She wouldn’t have done it if she knew you were scared. I promise.”
I sighed. “I’m fine. I’m just tired. I just want to go home and go to sleep,” silently adding, “and not pee my pants.” It had been hours since I first had water back in the classroom, and while I’d been effectively ignoring the sensation, right now, it was starting to become painful.
“But what about our sleepover?” Sweetie Belle protested. “We haven’t even taught you about ponies yet!”
“I learned that you ponies don’t have any concept of personal space,” I thought, but kept that thought internalized. Instead, I said, “I’ll still have a sleepover, I just don’t know how much I’m gonna learn tonight. I’d really rather just go to sleep.”
“Oh, okay,” the unicorn responded with disappointment in her voice. “You’ll be here tomorrow though, right?”
“Um, probably not. I’m sorry.”
There was a period of silence as we made our way back up to and inside of Scootaloo’s house. We entered to see Holiday and Lofty sitting at the table, the former sewing and the latter reading a book. There was also the smell of food coming from the kitchen that made my stomach grumble. I’d only had muffins to eat all day, and I was hungry.
“Huh,” Scootaloo said thoughtfully. “I thought Pinkie would've had your party all set to go already.”
“My party?”
“Yeah. She usually throws it the same day she meets somepony new… I wonder what’s holding her up.”
I’d already forgotten that detail of my encounter with the pony, but forced myself not to be worried. I wasn’t going to let myself get worked up over what was more than likely nothing, so I instead wondered what was for dinner. However, before I could ask, Holiday spoke up.
“I’m glad you girls are back,” she told us. “Supper’s just about ready now. We’re having lasagna tonight.”
“Lasagna,” I thought as the three of us sat at the table. “My favorite. Might as well end this dream on a positive note.”
“So Asher,” Holiday started a few minutes later as she served us up, “can I ask what your parents are like? What are their names?”
“Well,” I started to respond as I picked up the fork, “their names are- oh my gosh!”
The four of them watched as the fork dropped from Asher’s grasp, the filly staring at her hoof with a look of shock on her face.
“What is it, Asher?” Lofty asked with concern as her wife frowned.
“Drat,” Holiday thought. “She was so close to telling us their names.”
“I- I-” the filly stuttered. “How did I do that?”
“Do what now?”
“How did I pick up the fork?” she asked, still staring at her hoof and sounding completely flabbergasted. “I’m not supposed to be able to do that!”
“What do you mean?” Sweetie Belle asked, talking with a mouth full of veggie lasagna.
“I’m a horse! This is a hoof! Hooves aren’t supposed to be able to pick up things!”
“Uhhhh…” Holiday started, staring uncomprehendingly at Asher, knowing that what she said didn’t make much sense. “Well, I guess most ponies can’t, but um... From what I understand, most Earth Ponies can use their hooves to grip things, at least to some extent.” She picked up her fork to demonstrate and said, “See?” She paused for a moment and asked, “Do you not think you should be able to?”
The filly ignored her and reached for the fork again, this time unable to move it at all. “It’s not working,” she said aloud. She tried a few more times to pick it up, but without success.
“That’s dream logic,” she told herself silently as she closed her eyes. “The second I notice I’m doing something, I’m unable to do it. That’s one hundred percent dream logic.”
“Are you okay?” Holiday asked. “I know you said you were feeling a little sick earlier. Maybe we should get your parents.”
“No I’m fine,” Asher said with a sigh. “I’m just really tired. I don’t know why I got so nervous."
One more time, the filly tried to pick up the fork next to her. When she was unable, however, she decided to copy Scootaloo’s and Sweetie Belle’s method of simply using their mouths to eat.
“I’m concerned about her,” Lofty mouthed to Holiday while the fillies started to talk about something.
“I know,” the mare mouthed back. “So am I.”
“Do you think something happened to her?” Lofty asked, whispering now.
“I don’t know,” she answered. “I really hope not. She just seems so… I don’t know.”
Before the five of them knew it, dinner was over and the three fillies were upstairs in Scootaloo’s room talking to each other. They were sitting on the floor in a circle as Scootaloo finished telling a story about watching Rainbow Dash.
“Anyway,” the pegasus started after she finished up, “do you wanna tell a story next, Asher?”
“I’m fine,” Asher said as she crossed her legs uncomfortably. She’d been awake all day, and despite her not really having all that much to drink, her bladder was starting to become painful.
“I’d really rather go to sleep now, honestly,” she continued.
“But it’s not even late!” Sweetie Belle protested. “We could read a book or play a game- and you haven’t even learned anything about ponies or told us about your parents!”
“I know,” she told them, “but I’m really tired, and really want to go to sleep. I’m sorry. I’ll see if I can do all those things tomorrow morning, okay?”
She really hated lying, but she figured that it wouldn't matter since she wouldn't see them tomorrow, or probably ever again after she woke up.
“Well…” the unicorn trailed off, “okay…”
“Me and Sweetie Belle are gonna stay up since it’s only nine o’clock. We’ll be quiet though, so you can go to sleep.”
“Okay,” Asher yawned as she climbed up onto the bed. “That’s fine.”
“Go to sleep,” I told myself as I kept my eyes closed. “Go. To. Sleep.”
I was still awake a few hours after I crawled into bed. By this time, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were asleep next to me, both of them snoring loudly as I lay at the edge of the bed to avoid being so close to them. I was having trouble falling asleep because of how apprehensive I was. I was concerned that I would go to sleep and wake back up here the next day, and I almost didn't want to fall asleep because of it.
Eventually, though, I was able to drift off, and found myself waking up in my own bed. I breathed a sigh of relief at the familiar sight, glad that that dream was finally over.
“Oh, thank you, Lord,” I whispered. “Thank you for letting me wake up. Oh, that was an awful dream… I have to use the bathroom."
“Asher? Are you okay?”
“Ugh,” Asher got out as she groggily opened an eye. “What- what the heck is this?” She looked around the room with a confused expression as something warm and wet touched her.
“What the heck is going on?” she asked the mare holding her before going wide-eyed at the realization a few seconds later. “Wait, no. No, no, no, no, no. This- this- this isn’t real! This can’t be happening to me!”
“Hey, you’re okay,” Holiday told the filly. “You’re okay. Everything’s going to be fine.”
“I- I- I’m not- supposed to b-be here…” she got out as she started to gasp for air. "I went through the whole day! I'm not..."
“Huh? Asher? Why are you awake?” Scootaloo asked, being woken up herself by the noise. “Wait, did you wet the bed?”
The filly was shaking and breathing hard, on the edge of hyperventilating. Despite all day knowing in the back of her mind that this was more than likely real, she nonetheless found herself shocked that she was still in Equestria. More than that, though, she was afraid of everything that being in Equestria might entail.
“You’re going to be alright, Asher,” Holiday said in a comforting tone as she stroked the filly’s mane. “Everything’s going to be fine.”
“I- I… this…” she started to say before fainting and falling off the bed.
Author's Note
I'm going to be a bit disappointed if nobody gets the Metallica reference
“Oh my…” Redheart said quietly as she looked into my mouth. I gave her a concerned look as she asked me, “Do you eat meat, Asher?”
“Um, yes… I mean, sometimes,” I answered honestly, almost whispering. I watched her cringe at my answer, and couldn’t help but add, “I’m sorry.”
“Oh, you don’t- you don’t… need to be sorry…” she got out as she continued to look around my mouth. “It’s just, uh, most ponies…”
“They don’t eat meat,” I finished for her. “I know.”
“Not that they can’t eat meat,” she said quickly. “It’s just, um… eating meat is, uh… well…” I must have looked upset because she tried to change the subject. “Why don’t we move on?” she offered. “Miss Cheerilee said that you’re having trouble walking. Is that true?”
“A little bit, yes.”
“Well let’s have a look at your legs and hooves then,” she said as she bent down to feel them with her own hooves. “Does anything hurt?” she asked as she looked them over.
“No.”
“What if I bend them like this? Does this hurt?” I shook my head, and immediately regretted it as she continued, “I want you to try and grip my hooves as hard as you can, okay?”
“Okay…”
She placed her hooves on top of mine, and I tried to do… something . I didn’t know what. But even as I tried, I could tell nothing was happening from the look she was giving me.
“Are you having trouble, sweetie?” she asked.
I ignored my discomfort at the word ‘sweetie’ as I responded, “I don’t know how to do it.”
Her look of concern changed to one of shock. “You can’t use your hooves?” she asked, surprised.
“I don’t know. I mean, I was able to pick something up yesterday, a fork, but once I noticed I was doing it, it fell.”
“That’s… that’s strange. How long have you been having trouble holding things?”
I felt myself blush at her question as I quietly answered, “Since I became a pony.”
“When you became a pony?” she asked curiously as she raised an eyebrow while continuing to examine me, matching the quietness of my voice. “Were you not a pony before?”
“No,” I managed to say with a sigh. "I shouldn't be one now."
“You said before that you weren’t a pony,” she started as she stopped what she was doing to look me in the eye. “Can I ask when you became one?”
“Yesterday morning…”
“I see…” she trailed off. “Can I ask what happened when you became a pony?”
“Well, I… I don’t really remember. I do remember waking up on the ground, and then I was a pony.”
“That must’ve been very scary for you.”
“It was terrifying,” I admitted. “It’s making me nervous now.”
"You don’t need to be scared of us,” she tried to tell me as she put a hoof on my shoulder. “I promise we won’t hurt you here.”
Once again, I could tell what route this conversation was taking and what conclusions she was drawing from this, and wanted to put a stop to it immediately.
“I just- I want to make sure you aren’t getting the wrong idea,” I told her. “I wasn’t, like, sexually abused or anything. I really wasn’t physically a pony before yesterday.”
“I understand,” she responded in a manner that was supposed to be reassuring, but only told me she didn’t believe me. “In any case,” she continued as she quickly got out a stethoscope, “why don’t we keep going? Can you sit up and breathe in deep for me?”
I followed her instructions and took deep breaths so she could listen to my lungs. While breathing didn’t make me feel better about the situation I was in, it did help me relax a little bit more. It was just a little bit, but it was certainly better than nothing.
“Your lungs sound fine. Now I’m going to listen to your tummy here and make sure it sounds good, too. If you could lay back down, please?”
“Okay,” I managed to say with a little less of the nervousness I spoke with before. As she listened, she tried to engage me somewhat.
“Do you like it in Ponyville so far?” she asked.
“Yes, it’s nice,” I answered simply.
“That’s good. Have you made any friends yet?”
For some reason, I felt embarrassed, and blushed as I answered her. “I think so, um… Scootaloo. Oh, and Sweetie Belle.”
“Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, huh? I know both of those fillies. Has Scootaloo showed you any of her tricks yet?”
“Tricks?”
“Yeah. Scootaloo is really good with that scooter of hers. You should ask her to show you some of her tricks later.” She paused for a second after that, then continued, “Okay, Asher, I’m just going to take a quick look to make sure everything looks alright down there, okay?”
“Okay…”
Even as I tried to stay relaxed, I couldn’t help but tense up as she examined me. This whole situation was just absolutely killing me. Even as I tried to ignore it right then, I couldn’t get it out of my head that I wasn’t supposed to be there, I wasn’t supposed to be a pony, and I certainly wasn’t supposed to be a girl.
“Lord,” I thought as I clenched my jaw, “I ask for your strength and your guidance in these moments. Let me have the courage to face this situation and faith in whatever your will is. Please let me… I don’t know. Let me… let me... I don’t know.”
“Just relax for me, sweetie.”
"Oh, Lord, why is this happening to me?"
It was hard to get relaxed again, especially with her calling me sweetie. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t help but start to breathe faster. It wasn’t her examining me that was getting to me, it was what she was examining. I wasn’t supposed to be a girl. I wasn’t supposed to be a child. I wasn’t supposed to be a pony. I wasn’t supposed to be… here !
I closed my eyes. I knew that being nervous and panicky wasn’t going to help me change anything, but even if I wasn’t nervous, I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do. I had no idea how to change anything. I was stuck in this… animal’s body , and all I could do was go along with it. It was impossible to force the fact out of my head because I was living it every second, and it was absolutely killing me.
Asher couldn’t help but start to sniffle again. She knew how Nurse Redheart would view her tears at that exact moment, and tried to stop herself from getting teary eyed, but couldn’t. Everything about her current predicament was getting to her, and she was lucky that she hadn't simply broken down completely in the past day of being in Ponyville.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Nurse Redheart said, the filly suddenly feeling her hoof in her mane. “It’s okay. I promise I won’t hurt you. Nopony is going to hurt you…”
“I… oh, I can’t do this…” Asher got out.
“You’re okay,” the nurse continued, gently stroking her mane. “Nopony will hurt you. It’s okay.”
“It’s not going to be okay!” she got out. “I’m not supposed to be here! I’m not supposed to be a pony! I’m a human being! Not this… ugh!” She put her hooves on her eyes and started to breathe faster, trying to keep herself from crying. She hated the frustration and anxiety and fear that she felt, and hated that, as far as she knew so far, those feelings would last forever.
“God, why is this happening to me?” she asked aloud, breathless.
“It’s going to be okay,” the nurse started again in a comforting way, her voice both quiet and firm. "You don't need to be scared."
"I- I c-can't help it…"
“Just calm down and tell me what’s wrong, okay? It's going to be alright.”
“I’m trying,” she sniffled out. “I’m trying to stay calm. I r-really am. It’s just- it’s hard. I’ve never been so terrified in my whole life...”
“You don’t have to be scared. It’s going to be okay. Just take some deep breaths and tell me what’s going on, okay? Everything’s going to be fine.”
There was a pause as the filly took a few moments to breathe, then she said, “I’m not supposed to be here. I’m supposed to be an adult human male, not this… horse girl!” Asher hiccuped as she finished, choking back tears and forcing herself not to cry.
“Can you tell me what you mean?” RedHeart asked kindly.
“I mean I’m not a girl!” she answered, exasperated. “I’m supposed to be a boy, I’m supposed to be a human, and I’m supposed to be an adult!”
Redheart squinted at her, trying to process what she said. “Um… how long have you… felt like that?” she asked carefully.
“The last day,” she sniffed out bitterly, breathing slowly to stay calm. “Since I got here.”
“The last day? Can you tell me a little about where you’re from?” The nurse was trying to distract her from being upset, and it seemed to be working from what she could tell. Not only that, but she was also curious to see exactly what Asher would say about her life, seeing as she already claimed not to be a filly.
She gave another sniffle as she calmed down a little bit more, quietly answering, “I'm from Delaware…”
“Delamare? What’s it like there?”
“It’s small and flat and by the ocean…” She swallowed, continuing, “There’s not that many people there, and I live in a city called Wilmington…”
“That sounds like a very nice place. How long have you lived there?”
“Since I was four. Me and- my parents and I lived with my great grandparents until I was ten. I’m going to move out after I finish my degree this year. I mean, I was ...” She hiccuped at the end of her sentence, working to keep herself calm.
“Can I ask what your parents do?”
“My mom is unemployed, and my dad is a mechanic.”
Despite her interest in the filly’s mother being unemployed, the nurse asked the obvious question. “Your dad's a mechanic? What kinds of things does your dad fix?”
“Cars,” she answered, which prompted a weird expression and raised eyebrow from Redheart. “They- they’re machines that can go places really fast. Um, I- I guess it’s like a scooter, but faster. Um, and you need a license to drive them”
“That’s interesting. Do ponies use ‘cars’ to get around often?”
“Yes, but, um, not ponies. There aren’t any ponies where I’m from.”
“Are you the only pony where you live?”
“I- well, I’m not a pony either…”
“I see…”
Asher sighed, rubbing her eyes. “You don’t believe me,” she spoke quietly.
“I didn’t-”
“I know you don’t believe me,” she interrupted. She hiccuped again, took a few slow breaths, then continued, “I know you don’t believe me because I wouldn’t believe me. You didn’t believe me earlier about my age, so I don’t see why you would believe me now…”
She stared at her hooves and sniffed as Redheart stared at her. The mare was trying to piece together what the words she was saying meant. They didn’t really make any sense, but then again, she did hit her head, and might have had a concussion. Of course, it could also have been some sort of mental health issue, but it didn’t really seem like that was the case, and if it was, the nurse really didn’t want to get tied in to that sort of thing. Honestly, if she had to guess, she’d say she was lying about all this and was a runaway foal.
“Hmmm… there’s an idea,” Redheart thought. “A runaway foal… maybe attention seeking behavior? Hmmmm…”
“I just... I really don't want to be here...” Asher whispered sadly.
“I understand,” Redheart replied sympathetically, already thinking about how she would hand her back to Cheerilee in a little while. “We’ll do everything we can to get you home. It’s going to be okay.”
“If you say so…" the filly whispered, already starting to believe it wasn't possible.
Author's Note
In case you haven't noticed, this is probably going to be a very, very long fic.
“Well, from what I could gather, she seems fine physically,” Nurse Redheart told Cheerilee and Holiday. “She’s physically healthy, and it doesn’t seem like she has a concussion or anything serious like that.”
“But?” the yellow mare asked worriedly.
The nurse exhaled sharply and continued, “But I do think she’s displaying some, um… attention seeking behavior.”
Holiday looked confused by what she said, but Cheerilee seemed more suspicious, and asked “What kind of behavior?”
“Well, for example, she said she used to live by the ocean in Delamare even though it’s nowhere near the ocean. She doesn’t seem sick like you said she said she felt. She also seemed to suggest that she couldn’t use her hooves, and I know you were also concerned about how she walks, however, I wasn’t able to see anything wrong with her legs at all, and she also admitted that she was able to pick things up ‘when she didn’t notice it’. Then she said she isn’t a pony…”
“She said she’s not a pony? I know she said her parents aren't ponies, but...”
“Yes. She also told me that she’s not a filly and she’s an adult.”
“Well…”
“Then she said that nopony where she’s from is a pony, and they used things called ‘cars’ to get around.”
“Hmmm… she did tell me that her parents weren’t ponies, and she was reluctant to go into details about it…”
Holiday was tempted to interrupt. She wanted to say that, to her, it didn’t seem like she was lying, at least not intentionally. She wanted to say that she seemed genuinely anxious and upset when she heard her talking to herself in the bathroom yesterday, and that, when she looked at her, what she saw was a shy and scared little filly who wanted to go home. However, she decided not to voice her opinions. She wasn’t a nurse or a schoolteacher, and didn’t work with foals every day like they did, and decided it was probably best to let them do their work uninterrupted by her thoughts.
“It does seem like a plausible explanation,” Cheerilee continued, “but I’ll also have to have a chat with her to see what she tells me. There are some things that don’t make sense to me. Not everything adds up.”
Nurse Redheart knew that not everything added up. Attention seeking behavior didn’t explain why the filly would openly tell her that what she said would seem ridiculous, not to mention the fact that the filly seemed on the edge of an anxiety attack more than once. However, like Holiday, she kept her thoughts to herself, but only to keep herself from potentially being tied to a mental health case. That was something she really didn’t want to deal with, and would rather have Cheerilee handle on her behalf.
“But, um,” Nurse Redheart started again, “she looks physically healthy as far as I can tell. No signs of abuse or anything like that, and her head seems fine. I’d say she’s okay to be released.”
“Okay, then Holiday and I will take it from here,” the teacher responded. “Thank you for taking a look at her.”
“Oh, and one more thing: she said her parents were Garnet and Opal, and that her real name is Ashley.”
I was an animal now, and it was absolutely scaring me.
If there was one thing I knew about animals, it's that they weren't people. Animals didn’t have consciousness, they didn’t have a soul, and they didn’t go to heaven or hell. They followed God’s commands and that was it. They didn’t have the capacity to think like humans did.
Which, given my current situation, had a few potential meanings. The first was that this wasn’t real, which I’d already ruled out earlier that morning. Of course, it was still technically possible that this was a dream, but at that point, the odds of this being the case were effectively zero, and I hardly even believed that was the case even yesterday. With that, I moved onto the second option, which was that I simply didn’t have consciousness. However, even thinking about that as a possibility was silly. If I had enough sense to think about the idea of not having consciousness, then I was conscious.
That thought led me to the most frightening possibility, which was that God simply wasn’t real. Just the thought of that made me have to catch my breath. I couldn’t bear to think that God didn’t exist, and it filled me with a sense of dread. If he wasn’t real, that meant… nothing. Absolutely nothing. Everything I did was just meaningless. When I died, there would just be nothing. I would cease to exist.
I had to take a breath because I was freaking myself out. God was real, and I knew that. Probably. Except this scenario was leaving open the distinct possibility that he wasn’t...
“No,” I told myself. “God is real. He proved that to me over and over again, time after time. Just my being here is proof enough that he’s real, because nothing else can explain this.” I was never ever going to accept that God didn’t exist, no matter what. He was real, and I was sure of it. Of course, being this… horse wasn’t helping to convince me of that fact, but I decided to just accept that I didn’t understand it, which wasn't that hard for me to do.
It was only a few seconds later that Cheerilee and Holiday entered the curtained area again. I must not have looked that well because they quickly made their way over, the former putting her hoof in my hair.
“Are you feeling okay, Asher?” the teacher asked sympathetically.
“Yeah, I’m just freaking myself out for no reason,” I told her.
“Do you want to tell us about it?”
“I’m just…” I trailed off, then sighed. “I’m just thinking about how I’m not supposed to be a pony…”
“Nurse Redheart told me you said that. Do you want to talk about it?”
“I mean, I don’t know. I don’t think there’s anything I can do about it, and I’m pretty sure you don’t believe me, and I’m really trying to stay calm, but this is all just so…”
“It’s okay,” she said in a comforting voice as she started to stroke my hair. “Why don’t you take a breath and tell me about your home?”
I forced myself to take another breath as I started to speak. “Okay, um, very first, um, I’m not from this world. At all.”
“You’re not from this world?” she asked curiously, tilting her head slightly in a way that made me blush. “Can you tell me what you mean?”
“I mean um...” I started again, “the place I’m from, it’s nowhere in this world. Ummm… it’s called Earth, and um…”
“But Nurse Redheart told me you were from Delamare. Is that not true?”
“I am from Delaware,” I tried to explain. “Delaware is in the United States, and the United States is on Earth.”
“Oh, okay. I understand.”
I had to close my eyes and take a silent breath. The way she spoke sounded like she was speaking to a little girl. It was like she was talking to a lying child that she didn’t believe, and I absolutely hated it. I hated that it was what she was seeing in front of her, and that there was nothing I could do about it. I hated how little control I had over the situation, how little control I had over my own emotions.
“Oh, Lord, please don’t let this be real!” I desperately prayed silently.
“Hey, it’s okay,” she told me quietly. “Why don’t you tell me what kind of creatures live in ‘Earth’? Is it Earth Ponies like you?”
I opened my eyes again and took a slow breath, wishing I had fists to clench to help me stay calm. “No,” I explained. “There are horses, but there aren’t any ponies where I live. They’re humans. They have two legs and hands and are six feet tall…”
“Is that what your parents are?” she asked me.
“Yes, they’re humans, like…”
I suddenly noticed I was staring at my silver-coated limbs as I trailed off. My hooves . That’s what they were. I wasn’t a human anymore, I was a pony. I was supposed to be a human, but I wasn’t, and there was nothing I could do about it.
“I probably sound so crazy to you,” I told her, feeling myself starting to get worked up again and my chest starting to tighten as I continued to stare at my now shaking hooves.
“I don’t think you sound crazy...”
“I know I sound crazy because this shouldn’t even be real! This should be a dream!” I really hated this anxious feeling I had, and tried very hard not to get worked up again. I was so over the panic I was feeling, but I couldn’t help but feel it. I was having the worst morning of my whole life, and talking to them about it and knowing they didn’t believe me was making it worse. At that moment, I felt like I was living in a nightmare.
“I’m going to be stuck here forever, aren’t I?” I asked aloud, mostly to myself as I started to once again get the urge to break down and cry.
“Hey, it’s okay,” she whispered. “We’ll get you home.” She started to stroke my mane as she continued, “You don’t need to panic. It’s going to be okay.”
“I’m trying not to panic,” I said breathlessly as I started to get the extreme urge to break down. “I’m really trying not to panic. I don't want to panic. It’s just I’ve never been so anxious in my whole life and I feel like I’m getting overwhelmed.”
“It’s going to be okay. Can you tell me why you’re feeling overwhelmed?”
“Cause I’m here right now and this isn’t a dream! That means God put me here and there’s nothing I can do about it! I’m going to be stuck here forever!”
The whole time I’d been here, I’d been avoiding the urge to cry. I really, really didn’t want to cry, but I could feel the tears forming once again and see my vision becoming blurry.
“Everyone’s probably afraid and looking for me now…” I choked out. “I’m probably never going to see my parents again... Oh, no...”
I couldn’t hold back anymore and started to cry. It was what I wanted to do since I first got here, but forced myself not to. But right then, I couldn’t stop myself from sobbing. I already knew I would be stuck here forever. I knew that yesterday, but forced myself to deny it. I was going to be trapped in this little girl’s body forever, and it was absolutely killing me.
It was only a few moments of crying, though, maybe a minute, before I realized that, not only was I was in a little girl's body, I was acting like a little girl, too. I was naturally a passive and more introverted person by nature, but I didn’t believe I was overly passive and timid like I’d been acting the last two days. Just like the name Ashley, the way I normally acted and how I acted recently was rubbing me the wrong way. I realized that I was being overly sensitive to everything around me, and while I felt like I had a good excuse to do so, I wanted to put a stop to it anyway.
“Stop crying,” I told myself silently as I rubbed my eyes and closed my eyes tightly in an effort to make the tears stop. “Stop being so sensitive. You’re a man, not the shy little girl you’ve been acting like.”
Cheerilee was almost convinced that the filly wasn’t attention seeking. Almost . However, the way she was able to quickly compose herself after suddenly bursting into tears was throwing her off and made her doubtful again. It seemed like it was real, but it also seemed like it was done to get herself sympathy. However, before she could ask about it, the filly started to speak again.
“I’m fine,” she asserted. “I’m fine. I’m sorry. It’s just- this is really stressful. I’m sorry. I'm being sensitive for no reason. I'm sorry.”
That was another thing about her. The way she spoke was… not right . It was like she was speaking to an adult. It wasn’t that noticeable, but it was there, and the teacher did think it was interesting. However, she opted not to ask about it as she started to speak again.
“You’re okay,” Cheerilee responded. “You're not being sensitive. Do you feel a little better now?”
“I mean, yeah,” Asher answered, blushing and continuing to rub her eyes. “I guess.”
“That’s good to hear. I do have a question though.”
“What?”
“You said before that God put you here. Can you tell me who that is?”
The filly looked up at her, confused. “You don’t know who God is?” she asked, seeming surprised.
“Ah, no? I can’t say I do. Is that a pony?”
“No, He’s… God. Like… the creator of the universe. Everything exists because of Him.” She saw the teacher looked confused, so continued. “He’s… the Great I Am. Omniscient and omnipresent. He’s not, like… well... He transcends reality. He’s... the God of Israel. That’s the best way to describe Him. The God of Abraham. But you don’t know what Israel or who Abraham is...”
"Can you tell me what he's like?"
“He’s benevolent and all powerful, filled with mercy and grace… Um, He’s the giver of life and raiser of the sun...”
“That sounds kind of like Princess Celestia to me.”
“I- I don’t- I have no idea who that is.”
Cheerilee frowned. Now she was almost certain that she was attention seeking, as there was no way she didn’t know who Celestia was. The only thing was that it honestly didn’t seem like she was looking for attention. It honestly seemed like she was being truthful in the things she said, but the teacher couldn’t be sure. It was either the filly believed the things she said, or she was a very good actor. It was all just so bizarre .
“Why don’t we go over to the school and give you a quick knowledge test?”
Author's Note
It's my birthday tomorrow! If you wanna get me a present, you can buy me a coffee
Also, is Asher a human, or the cutest filly of all time?
As she did every morning, Princess Celestia raised the sun.
It wasn’t a long process, taking only a few minutes to lower the moon and bring the sun high into the sky where it belonged. She quite enjoyed doing so for her little ponies, typically taking the time to paint a picturesque scene over Equestria. However, today she wasn’t quite as up to it as she normally was. She felt something… strange. Something out of place. She couldn’t tell what it was, but it made her uneasy.
This wasn’t the first time she got this feeling. She felt the same thing the previous morning, albeit much more intense yesterday than right now. She couldn’t tell exactly where it came from, but she had a feeling it was coming from Ponyville, the soon-to-be site of the one thousandth Summer Sun Celebration. She knew that this would be the year her sister would return, but it felt like there was something else, something she was missing. It felt like there was something else that wasn’t supposed to be there. It wasn’t necessarily bad , it was just… unexpected, and it was throwing her off.
Just as she had finished her daily ritual, a letter appeared before her, sent from her pupil, Twilight Sparkle, explaining how she believed that Nightmare Moon would return during this year’s Summer Sun Celebration. The princess knew she was correct of course, and wanted her to be the one to find the Elements of Harmony and bring her sister back to her, however, this feeling she had was making her anxious. She wanted her pupil to be a princess, for Twilight to succeed her in ruling Equestria, but she was nervous. She was afraid that whatever was causing her to have this feeling would interfere with that, whether on purpose or by accident.
“Calm down, Celestia,” the alicorn thought to herself. “Nothing’s going to happen. You’re just worried about Luna’s return. Besides, Twilight’s a very observant pony. She’ll notice if something is amiss and report it to me.”
With that, Celestia decided she would send a letter of her own back to Twilight, giving her the task of making friends, as well as making sure that everything in Ponyville was in order for her Summer Sun Celebration.
I was feeling a lot more self conscious and uncomfortable in public than I was yesterday as Cheerilee and I walked across the town to the school. I really didn’t like the idea of having myself… exposed like this. It was easy to ignore yesterday because I was forcing myself to believe I wasn’t here, but now it was much more difficult. Yes, I had fur and a tail, but just from what I could feel of myself and see on these ponies, I could tell it wasn’t covering me that well. The fact that we were getting smiles and waves from random people as we walked as though nothing was wrong somehow made it worse, and I found myself blushing in embarrassment.
“Stop it,” I told myself. “You’re being sensitive again. You need to buck up and stop being so sensitive. You’re not a little girl, and these are animals. It’s not different than being undressed in front of a dog. They don’t care, and there’s nothing to be uncomfortable about.” But even as I told myself that, I couldn’t help the fact that it bothered me.
The sun quickly rose as we walked, once again taking just a couple of minutes to get to the center of the sky as we entered the schoolhouse. Just like yesterday, it was unnerving to watch, and quickly brought a question to mind.
“How does the sun do that?”
“How does the sun do what?” Cheerilee asked back, confused.
“How does it get to the middle of the sky so quickly? It should take it several hours to get that far.”
“Oh, well that’s Princess Celestia. She raises the sun and the moon over Equestria each day.”
“Is she- is she a real person?” I got out nervously. “Who physically raises the sun?” The idea that a horse physically raised the sun in this world was freaky to me.
“Yes,” the teacher responded. “She’s a real pony who lives in Canterlot and rules over Equestria. But enough of that for now. Why don’t you take a seat while I get an exam out to you?”
“This is a test I give to everypony who moves to Ponyville for the first time,” Cheerilee explained as she made her way back to the filly, pencil and paper in her mouth. Asher briefly wondered how she was able to talk and keep the paper from getting wet at the same time, but quickly put the thought out of her head as the materials were set in front of her.
“We’ll start off with math since it looked like you were able to do that pretty easily yesterday,” the teacher told her as she glanced at the paper. “It shouldn’t be too difficult, but if you do find yourself struggling, you can just skip any problems you don’t know.”
“Uh, okay, um…” Asher trailed off shyly. “I’m sorry, um…”
“What is it?”
“Can you- can you write it out for me?” she asked, her cheeks going red.
“Write it out for you?”
“The answers, I mean,” she explained, then held up her hooves. “I don’t know how to use these things at all, so I won’t be able to write it out.”
“Well, why don’t you try first?” Cheerilee suggested. “Then we can see what we can do if you can’t do it?”
“Okay…” Asher grabbed at the pencil, trying to pick it up, but was only able to push it and make it roll around. “I was able to do it yesterday when I didn’t notice, but now I can’t…”
“That’s okay,” Cheeilee told her kindly. “Why don’t you use your mouth to write for right now, and we’ll work on hoof writing later?” She noticed the filly looked uncomfortable with that suggestion, but didn’t say anything, instead simply picking up the pencil and holding it between her teeth.
She moved to stand over her shoulder and watched her slowly work her way through the questions, noticing her speed being controlled almost entirely how long it took her to write out the answers. It took her nearly an hour to complete the front and back of the paper, but all of the answers she gave were correct, even on the most difficult questions that even some Ponyville adults couldn’t do.
“Well, it looks like you did a very good job, Asher,” Cheerilee applauded with a smile. “It looks like you’re a very smart filly! You did better than anypony else your age.”
“I- I’m no smarter than anyone else,” the filly answered back quietly. “It’s just- I’m an adult, so I already knew all of that stuff.”
Cheerilee’s smile dropped at that. She was almost ready to believe the filly was seeking attention, however, perfect math scores would be something very difficult to fake. However, she decided to play this out before coming to any conclusions.
“Well, you should be very proud of how well you did, sweetie, regardless of how old you are.” She watched her blush, and perhaps cringe slightly, as she continued, “Why don’t we move on to reading and writing?”
“Um, I… I can’t read,” Asher said, almost inaudible.
“What was that, sweetie?”
“I can’t read,” she said again, looking down at her desk. She didn’t know why she felt embarrassed. She was an alien from another world. It shouldn’t have been expected that she would even understand what they were saying, let alone be able to read their writing. Still though, she couldn’t help but feel ashamed of herself. She was self conscious of the fact that everypony else her age could read but she couldn’t, and she hated it. She hated how sensitive she was being now that she was self conscious of it, and hated how emotional she was. She was starting to get worried that her being a little girl was messing with her head, and hated that she couldn’t do anything about it.
“You can’t read at all?” the teacher asked, wanting clarification.
“Well, I can read,” she quietly explained. “I just can’t read whatever language you ponies write in.”
“Well, how about we get another sheet of paper, and you can show me what language you write in, hmmm?,” Cheerilee told her as she quickly went to her desk to grab it. She set it down over the test and continued, “You can just write a quick poem or song if you’d like, or a happy memory you have.”
Asher sighed, but didn’t answer, instead simply picking up the pencil and slowly scratching out what she wanted to write. As she did, Cheerilee quickly realized that what she meant was that she wrote and read in Unicorn Script. Still though, everypony should have known how to read regular Ponish, and the fact that she couldn’t wasn't ideal. It seemed she would have to spend time working with her on that. She also made a mental note to contact authorities in Canterlot, since that was where Unicorn Script was most common.
The other thing she realized was that her writing was… complex. She couldn’t tell whether what she was writing was a poem or a song, but it seemed like what she was writing was much more thought out than most foals her age would write. Despite how long it took and the paper’s relative messiness, she thought what was written was quite impressive, if a bit sad seeming.
He doesn’t live there Anymore He wasted precious time The life he used to live Is over He lost some peace of mind
Little thoughts of heaven Secretly waiting To escape You catch a glimpse of sadness As he went down This tragic way...
Now he’s saying
My life Has washed away I guess this is the end I’ll take another ride Some other day And wait to breathe again
“This is very well written,” Cheeilee told me. “Can I ask what it means?”
I sighed again and answered, “It doesn’t matter. It’s not like you believe me anyway.”
“Asher…”
She sounded sad, and I couldn’t help but sniffle because of it. I was feeling very tired right then, and placed my chin on the desk and closed my eyes. It was only a few seconds though before Cheerilee spoke again.
“Why don’t we move onto history?” she said quietly.
“I don’t know any history,” I told her, keeping my eyes closed. “Like I said, I’m not from here, so I won’t know anything.”
“Well, why don’t you just start by telling me what you do know?” she suggested kindly.
“I mean… I know this is a place called… Equine? Or Equestria? And I’m pretty sure this city is called Ponyville. I know there are at least three types of ponies, and that I’m apparently an Earth Pony and should be able to use my hooves to pick things up. Um, and you told me that Celestia…” I shuddered, swallowed, and continued, “You told me that Celestia rules this world and physically raises the sun. And, um, and that God sounds a lot like her.”
I could tell by the look on her face that she was debating whether to ask me about God or the place I was from, before she finally said, “Why don’t you tell me about who 'God' is. Is he somepony you’ve met?”
“Well, um, met isn’t really the right word, uh… the best way to describe it would be that he’s all around us and is inside of me.” With my words, I watched her face contort as she tried and failed to keep a neutral expression. It took me a few seconds to realize how she was interpreting what I said, and when I did, I cringed too.
“He- he lives inside of you?” she asked, trying to keep her voice even.
“That didn’t come out the right way,” I responded quietly.
“Well, um… can you tell me what you meant when you said that?”
“I mean, uh, I mean…” I didn’t know why but the words I wanted to say were escaping me, and I was drawing a blank on how to clarify. “Let’s… let’s just move on please."
“Does he, uh, make you do anything you don’t want to do?”
“I mean, well, um…” I trailed off, thinking about me being a pony right then. “I- I guess technically , but I mean, I- I… I really don’t like the way these questions are phrased.”
“What kinds of things does he make you do?”
“Well, I mean, I- God doesn’t really make me do anything for the most part, but, um, I guess there are the Ten Commandments. I mean, I guess that’s… but I could choose to...” There was just… something keeping me from saying what I wanted to say the way I wanted to say it, and I didn't know what it was.
“Ten Commandments?” she asked. “Can you tell me what those are?”
I closed my eyes and quickly recited, “Thou shall have no other gods, thou shall not misuse the name of the Lord thy God, remember the sabbath day and keep it holy, honor thy father and thy mother, thou shall not murder, thou shall not commit adultery, thou shall not steal, thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor, thou shall not covet thy neighbors house, or his wife, or his slaves or his animals or anything else that belongs to him.”
There was a lot there for Cheerilee to pick apart in what Asher said. Some of it seemed reasonable enough, like don’t murder and don’t steal, but other things had her… concerned , like the filly’s mention of slaves and other “gods”, whatever those were. It also didn’t help that she seemed to understand what things like “coveting” and “adultery” were. However, she decided to start with something she felt might be easier to discuss.
“What is ‘the sabbath’?” she asked, trying to sound curious and not suspicious.
“The sabbath? That’s… that’s a day of rest from working.” Before Cheerilee could ask more, Asher explained, “In essence, it’s the weekend.”
“Ah, okay. What kinds of things do you do on the weekend?”
“Uhh… like I said, it’s a day of rest, but, I mean…” She tried to think of a way to describe it that would make Cheerilee understand without her getting the wrong impression. “Saturday is just a normal day really, and Sunday is when I go to church.”
“What is church?”
“Church is the place we go to worship God.” The filly watched the teacher struggle to keep a flat expression. “You’re taking this the wrong way…”
“I’m not taking anything in any way, I promise,” she told her. “But can you tell me what kinds of things you do while you ‘worship God’?”
“I- I- no, because you’re not- the way you’re talking is making it seem like you think I’m in a cult or being abused or something when that’s not what’s happening.”
“I promise I don’t think those things,” she lied as she put her hoof on top of Asher’s.
“Whatever,” she sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“Why don’t you tell me about not being a filly? How long have you felt that way?”
“I don’t feel like I’m not a filly,” she started, working out that filly was what they used to say girl in this world, “I’m just… not. I’m physically not a girl. And you probably think I sound crazy because I think I sound crazy.”
“I don’t think-”
“Yes you do,” she interrupted. “It doesn’t make any sense that- ugh!” She felt herself becoming emotional again, clenching her teeth as tears started to form again. “I’m a man physically trapped inside this filly’s body, and I’m not supposed to be, but even saying that sounds so ridiculously stupid!”
“It’s not stupid to feel that way,” Cheerilee said as her hoof moved to Asher’s forehead, pushing her hair up some.
“Yes it is!” she cried. “It’s stupid, and I’m acting so sensitive because of it!”
“It’s not stupid, and you’re not being sensitive,” she insisted. “It’s okay to feel that way, and it’s okay to cry sometimes.”
“I’m sorry,” she choked out. “I’m sorry. This is all just getting to me so badly.”
“You don’t need to be sorry. It’s going to be okay.”
“I…” she got out, wiping her eyes and trying to calm back down. "I might as well stop being a baby and just get used to the fact that this won’t change. I...”
I stopped, thinking over what I was about to say, what I’d been thinking and saying this whole time. God put me here. I already knew that, but why? Why did He put me here? There had to have been a reason for me to be here. I didn’t think I’d be in this position for the sake of it.
I didn’t think I was here to convert these ponies or anything like that. They were animals, and animals didn’t go to heaven, so it’d be almost pointless to try. Still, though, I couldn’t be sure, so I decided I’d make a little bit of an effort later. But not right now, because everything I said was being taken the wrong way.
The most likely explanation to me was that my faith was being tested. Yes, that was it. My faith was being tested, to see if I could be strong. That had to be what was happening, and made the most sense to me. It explained why I was a pony now and a girl.
“Maybe he wants you to be happy, and thinks this is what will do it,” I thought.
I blushed at that thought and banished it almost immediately. This… situation wasn’t going to make me happy. I was already perfectly happy before, on the path to a relatively successful life, hopefully opening up my own business or becoming a general manager or higher somewhere after I finished college. I didn’t see how being a little girl would make me anything but upset and depressed. I didn’t want to be one, and never once had I ever thought about wanting to be one. I certainly didn’t want to be one now.
Did I?
“No, stop that,” I thought. “You know good and well you’ve never thought that, not even one time, so don’t try and say you’ve felt that way before. You’re letting this body distort your thinking.”
“Asher?” Cheerilee suddenly said, interrupting my thinking. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Huh? What?” I looked at her and saw that she looked concerned as she stared back at me.
“You were staring off for a good while. Is everything alright? You can tell me anything you’d like.”
“Yes, I’m fine,” I told her, my voice sounding way more timid and shy than I had intended. “I was just thinking to myself.”
“Was it anything you wanted to talk to me about?”
“No, it’s fine. It’s nothing.”
“Okay, well, in that case, I was wondering if it was okay if I asked you a personal question.”
“I… don’t see why not,” I responded, wondering where this was going.
“Well, actually, first, I know you said your name is Asher, but Nurse Redheart told me your real name is Ashley. I know you told her you didn’t like it, but is it okay if I called you that?”
“I…” Stop being a big baby. Stop being so sensitive. It’s a boy’s name. “Yes, that’s fine, I guess.” I paused, then before I could stop myself, added, “But only between us, please. No one else.”
“Okay, Ashley,” she started as I forced myself not to cringe at her immediate use of my name, “I was just wondering how often you wet the bed.”
I didn’t know what question I was expecting her to ask, but that wasn’t it. I’m certain that the confusion was evident on my face, because she continued, “I’m sorry. I know it’s embarrassing, but I need you to be honest please.”
“I… what? I don’t wet the bed,” I got out, blushing. “That was the first time since I was seven, and it wasn’t my fault.”
“Oh, I know it’s not your fault,” she said kindly. “Nopony is saying it’s your fault. Everypony has accidents, even adults. It’s just-”
“I didn’t have an accident,” I interrupted. “I- I thought I was awake when I was asleep, so I tried to use it then. I wouldn’t normally have accidents because I’m an adult.”
I watched her frown as she spoke again. “It’s okay to have accidents sometimes, Ashley,” she told me. “You don’t have to be embarrassed about that or make up excuses.”
“I’m not making up excuses! I’m really not this filly! I- ugh, I sound crazy!” I closed my eyes and took a breath to gather myself, then continued, “I held it all day yesterday cause I thought that yesterday was a dream, and then I wet the bed because I thought I was awake while I was asleep.”
She kneeled down to get down to eye level with me. “I’m not trying to make you upset, sweetie,” she said quietly, “but I need you to be honest because what you’re saying is making it sound like something really bad happened to you. Do you understand?”
“I’m being honest,” I said equally as quiet, “I just- what I want to say isn’t coming out the way I want it to and- and it’s making you think I sound crazy.”
“I don’t think you sound crazy. It’s just-”
“Can we just stop talking about this, please? I don't want to keep talking about this. I- I need to go to the restroom.”
“Asher, stop it,” the filly told herself as she looked in the mirror. “You need to get a grip. You’re being emotional and getting all worked up, and you’re making everything worse because of it. You just- you just have to…”
She trailed off as she continued to stare at her reflection. She still didn’t like what she saw, and clenched her teeth in a frown because of it. It wasn’t that she was ugly. In fact, she thought she looked rather nice. The problem was that she wasn’t supposed to look like this at all . This shouldn’t have been happening to her. Why was this happening to her?
“Stop it,” she continued. “Stop asking why this is happening. You don’t get to ask why this is happening. It’s not your place to ask why.” She closed her eyes and silently recited, “My thoughts are not your thoughts. My ways are not your ways. Just like the heavens are higher than the earth, so is what you will higher than what I will.”
“Ashley?” Cheerilee suddenly interrupted. “Are you okay? You’ve been in there for a little while now.”
“Yes, I’m fine,” she called back quickly. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
“If you need any help, you know you can ask me.”
“I know. I’m fine,” she replied, then closed her eyes once again. “Lord, please let your will be your will, and allow me to have faith in whatever your will for me is. In your son Jesus name I pray, amen.”
She opened her eyes again, now debating whether to use the restroom for its intended purpose or simply to leave, before deciding on the latter. “I’m stuck as a girl and I still can’t use my hooves,” she thought. “I really don’t want to have to ask Miss Cheerilee for help.” With that, she left and quickly sat back down in the seat she was in.
The teacher gave her a concerned look as she did so, asking, “Are you feeling okay? It didn’t sound like you were using the restroom in there to me.”
With a blush, Asher responded, “Yes, I’m fine. I’m just… mentally and emotionally off right now. I’m not in the right state of mind.”
“Can you tell me why?”
She sighed at that, almost annoyed. “I already told you why,” she answered quietly.
“Do you want to tell me again, Ashley?”
She cringed to herself at the use of her name by Cheerilee. “It’s just a name,” she thought to herself as she continued, “No, because what I want to say isn’t coming out the right way and it’s making you think I’m crazy. It’s not like what I say will prove I’m a human, and what you hear won’t be able to prove I’m not a human, so why bother?”
“Ashley-”
“I really don’t want to talk about it anymore, at least not until I can put all my thoughts together,” she told her with finality.
“Well… okay,” she conceded. “Anyway, how about we get something to eat? It’s a little past breakfast, but we’ve been up a long time, so there shouldn’t be an issue.”
“Yes, please,” she replied, “but before that, can I get some clothes if that's okay?”
“Clothes?” Cheerilee asked, confused.
“Yes please,” she answered. The teacher continued to stare at her, confused and a bit suspicious, and she continued, “I- I don’t like being in public… like this...”
“Being in public like what, sweetie?”
“Like… I don’t like being this exposed.”
“Exposed?”
She blushed and looked down at the desk as she explained, “I… I don’t like the fact that everyone… everyone can see my backside.” She quickly looked up again to see Cheerilee cringing and added exasperated, “I wasn’t sexually abused. I just don’t want everyone to see back there.”
“Well, we can certainly stop by the Boutique on our way to Miss Lofty and Miss Holiday after we get some food. How does that sound?”
“If we could, please? That would be nice.”
Before I knew it, we were sitting at a table under an awning of an outdoor restaurant with food in front of us. More veggie lasagna was served, which I thought was strange, but didn’t pay much attention to it. I was more concerned with my still lack of ability to use my hooves.
“Are you sure you can’t use them?” she questioned. “You said you were able to do it when you weren’t paying attention. Maybe try doing what you did before?”
I exhaled as I put my hoof flat against the fork, trying to imagine having fingers again. I didn’t expect it to work at all, and predictably wasn’t able to do more than push it around on the table.
“Can you please tell me how to do this?” I asked her, starting to feel desperate despite only trying a few times. I was feeling very limited right then, and didn’t want to have to ask for help with basic tasks like I would if I couldn’t figure out how to do this.
“Well, um… you just…” she tried to say, seeming like she was struggling to think of how to explain it. It made sense though. It’d be like me trying to explain how to use hands to someone who didn’t have them or wasn’t able to use them.
“Well… it’s difficult to explain,” she continued. “Are you sure you can’t do it?”
“Why would I lie about this?” I asked. “I’m not making it up. How am I supposed to even use the restroom if I can’t use these things?”
“Well, I guess you’ll just have to get help in that case,” she told me, a matter of fact tone in her voice.
“I shouldn’t have to deal with this!” I yelled in frustration, slamming my hooves on the table. I forced myself to take a breath and keep calm though. I needed to stop being emotional and get it in my head that it wasn’t my place to question why this was happening. I needed to just accept it and move on, and stop lingering on why. I was certain the why would come later.
“You can still use your mouth to do things,” she said. “It’s really not that big of an issue. Why don’t you eat your food?”
“I’m not hungry,” I responded, slightly bitter, crossing my legs in front of me.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay,” she tried to tell me. “I know you’re frustrated and upset, but it’s going to be okay.” She paused, adding, “Maybe you’ll feel better if you talk to me about what’s going on?”
Exhaling a breath, I started again, “I told you I don’t want to talk anymore right now. I know I’ve been complaining a lot and I’m being emotional and everything I say sounds crazy, but I just… need time . I need time to… take this all in and collect my thoughts. I’m all scrambled up right now and I'm just going to keep saying things the wrong way if I keep going, and it’s just going to make things worse. I don’t want to say any more about anything right now. I’m sorry.”
She sighed at that, clearly disappointed at that answer. “You don’t need to be sorry. Why don’t we get you a to-go box and go down to the Boutique, then take you back to Miss Holiday and Lofty and let you get more acquainted with them?”
“My dearest, most faithful student Twilight,” Spike read as the two stood in Twilight’s room in Canterlot, “you know that I value your diligence and that I trust you completely. However, you simply must stop reading those dusty old books! There is more to a young pony’s life than studying, so I’m sending you to supervise preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration in this year’s location: Ponyville. I would like you to report back to me each day with updates on how things move along with preparations, as well as notes on any interesting mares, stallions, or foals you meet along the way. Keeping up with interesting ponies is even more important for the other task I have for you, which is to make some friends! I know you’ll carry out both of these tasks to the best of your ability, and look forward to seeing you again during the Summer Sun Celebration. Your teacher, Princess Celestia.”
Twilight sighed in disappointment at her mentor’s request. “She wants me to make friends ?” she asked aloud from her room in Canterlot. “What could be so important about that?”
“Hey! At least the princess arranged for you to stay in a library! That should cheer you up!”
She thought for a moment before deciding, “Yes, it does. I’ll check on preparations quickly each day and make note of the ponies I see, and then spend the rest of my time studying and looking for ways to prevent the return of Nightmare Moon.”
“But… then when will you have time to make friends like the princess said?”
“I am her faithful student and will do my royal duty, but the fate of Equestria does not rest on me making friends. Now, Spike, let’s head out to Ponyville. The Summer Sun Celebration, and Nightmare Moon’s return, is only two weeks away.”
Quickly, Asher and her teacher headed to their next destination. As they did so, Cheerilee tried to think about what she should do next. No word had come back from anywhere nearby of a missing filly that fit her description, which was odd, and the teacher knew she had to start thinking about the long term. Lofty already made it clear that she wasn’t somepony she could have her stay with for more than a few weeks, and she obviously couldn’t just let her stay on the street.
She tried to think of her options, and concluded that the best were the Apples, which wasn’t that great of an option, the Cakes, which really wasn’t that great of an option, and Rarity, who she didn’t think would be able to properly take care of her because of how much she worked. Really, the best option would be to keep her with Lofty and Holiday if she could, but at that point, it didn’t seem very likely that would happen.
This whole thing was just so… complicated . Peculiar. Strange. She still honestly couldn’t tell if the filly was lying or if she truly believed what she said, but at the moment she was leaning towards the former. Of course, there was still the tiny chance that when she said she was from another world she was being truthful, but that was unlikely in Cheerilee’s opinion cause if it was true, Princess Celestia would have noticed. No, the most likely explanation was that she was a runaway who was either hurt by her previous guardians or was an attention seeker, and Cheeilee would figure out which was the case. Maybe if she just pushed her a little bit more, she would get something useful? She didn't want her to close up completely like she seemed she was about to do...
After several minutes of walking, the two found themselves coming up upon the Carousel Boutique, the bell ringing as they entered. Asher looked around for a moment before cringing to herself at the sight. She expected to be in a clothing shop, and while that was currently the case, judging from what she saw, this was a shop that sold dresses in particular. Sure, there were other clothes, but the vast majority of what she saw was girls clothes and dresses.
“Is… is it- does it have to be here?” she asked, a mix of disappointment and embarrassment apparent in her voice.
“What’s wrong with here?” Cheerilee asked back, confusion on her face.
“It’s- it’s just…” she trailed off before sighing. “Nothing. Never mind.”
She really didn’t like the idea of getting something from this place, but she tried to keep herself relaxed. “Stop being emotional,” she told herself. “Yes, it’s a girls clothing store, but you’re just getting something nice and neutral to cover yourself with, like a pair of pants or something…” Although, looking around, she wasn’t sure she would find something like that.
“Helllloooo and welcome to the Carousel Boutique!” a voice called, one with an accent that the filly couldn’t place. The voice belonged to a white mare with dark purple hair and a horn signifying she was a unicorn. With long lashes and what looked to be gloss on her hooves, Asher could tell this mare was more of a girly girl.
“It’s quite lovely to see you again, Cheerilee,” she continued. Then, leaning up close to the silver-coated foal, asked, “And who is this pretty, young filly?”
She blushed and backed up a bit, afraid to have her nose bumped into for a third time as Cheerilee explained, “This is Ashley. She prefers to be called Asher, and she’s new in Ponyville. I believe she’s already made friends with your sister, Sweetie Belle.”
“I see,” Rarity commented. “Well, little filly, we have a policy here at the Carousel Boutique that friends of Sweetie Belle get to pick out a dress for free. Actually, I believe I have just the thing to go with that lovely coat and mane of yours.”
“Umm, I don’t really want-”
“Now, now, now dear,” Rarity interrupted as she looked around her shop for what she wanted. “I won’t be taking no for an answer. Now let’s see… I know I have just the perfect outfit for you here somewhere… ah! There it is!”
Before she could protest, the mare was using her magic to take a dress off its hanger and holding it up against her, squinting as she determined whether it would be acceptable for her to wear.
“I do think this would look quite lovely on you. Dark green will complement your coat and mane well, and red ribbons would complete the look…” Rarity paused, seeing the weird expression on her face, and asked, “Would you care to try it on?”
Quickly though, despite what she expected, the filly shook her head, keeping her mouth tight shut. Sure, she might have looked like a girl right then, but she wasn’t one. She was a boy . She knew that. She wasn’t even a pony. She was an adult human male. She knew that. She was just…
“Lord, I know it’s not my place to question you, but is this really your will?” Asher prayed. “Is it really your will for me to be this way? What could me being here possibly accomplish? I truly don’t mean to question you, I just wish I understood…”
“Are you sure?” Rarity pressed. “It’s really no trouble to give to you, and I stitched it by hoof myself. If you don’t like the colors, I’m certain we could find something else. I do believe pink and purple would compliment you very nicely as well.”
“I just- no thank you,” she answered, trying to assert herself but once again having her voice come out shyer than she anticipated. “I’d really just rather have some pants or something if it’s no trouble.”
“Pants?”
Based on the look she got both from the unicorn and the teacher, she instantly knew that pants wouldn’t be an option, and blushed harder. She really, really didn’t want to wear a dress, and decided that it would be better to wear nothing at all like the rest of the ponies she saw than to put on a dress.
“Actually, nevermind,” she tried to backtrack. “I actually don’t want anything. I’m sorry.”
“I promise you, it’s absolutely no trouble on my part. As I said, you’re a friend of Sweetie Belle’s, and any friend of my little sister is a friend of mine. I really would like it if you took it.” Once again though, the filly shook her head, and Rarity asked, “Just try it on? Please? If you don’t like it, you can give it right back. Just try it on for me?”
“I- I’d really rather not. I’d really rather not. I’m sorry.”
“Are you sure, darling?” Asher nodded her head, and Rarity continued, “How about you take it home with you anyway?”
“I- I don’t want to… I won’t wear it… I don’t want to wear that… I'm sorry...”
Cheerilee saw the sad look on Rarity's face and said, "You can’t know if you don’t like it if you don’t try it on. I’m sure she has a dressing room around here where you can be in private if you’d like.”
“I certainly do!” the unicorn confirmed excitedly. “It’s just this way, in the back.”
Before I could stop it, I was being ushered into a small dressing room filled with mirrors, with Cheerilee trailing behind me. I wanted anything but to try it on, and honestly didn’t even want to say I owned it, but at that point it was starting to feel out of my control.
“I don’t want to put that on,” I told her, trying to put on a frustrated expression but feeling like it was coming out more awkward and shy. “I already told you that I’m a boy. I don’t want to wear that.”
“Now, Ashley,” Cheerilee started like an upset parent as I cringed at my name, “you told me you wanted some clothes, and Rarity is offering to give this to you for free. I know she’ll be really upset if you said no without at least trying it on, and an upset Rarity isn't fun to deal with.”
“I just wanted something to cover me up!” I protested. “I don’t want… that !”
“But why?” she asked me, clearly confused.
“Because I’m a boy!” I yelled, definitely loud enough for other people to hear. “I’m not even supposed to be a pony, but I’m just stuck like this! I’m really trying my hardest not to complain, but… ugh!”
I closed my eyes and forced myself to breathe. I wasn’t going to make myself cry again, and I was going to try and be less emotional. I grit my teeth and tried my hardest to keep myself from yelling at Cheerilee in frustration.
“I really just wish you would listen to me!” I huffed, unable to stop myself from stamping a hoof in frustration. “None of you have been listening to me since I’ve been here and you all probably think I’m lying and crazy!”
She paused for a second at that thought before admitting, “You’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to try and push this on you. I don’t know what came over me. We can get you something else if you’d like.”
“No, just- never mind,” I told her dismissively. “I don’t want anything. I just- ugh! Why am I even going along with this at all?”
In that moment, I realized that, while I was stuck here, that didn't mean I had to go along with whatever these ponies said, and with that realization, turned and walked off.
“Stop following me!” I demanded the teacher as I tried to stomp away from her. I tried my best to sound aggressive as I walked, but I knew it was coming out more pouty and sad. I wasn’t good at being aggressive, even as a human, and this little girl's voice was just making it worse.
“I’m an adult! I don’t need you to follow me!” I continued as I stomped.
“No you’re not,” she told me calmly, staying directly behind me. “You can’t just wander off on your own, Ashley.”
“Stop calling me that!” I yelled frustratedly without thinking. “I don’t like that name! I don’t want to be called that!”
I knew I was just being emotional, but I really couldn’t help it. I couldn’t tell if it was because I hadn’t fully wrapped my mind around being a pony or if it was just because I was in a child’s body, but I knew I had to stop. However, even as I thought that, I couldn’t stop myself from feeling ready to cry.
“You’re not my mom or dad, so please just stop following me!” I demanded, knowing that it sounded like I was about to cry. However, my demands went unanswered, and the next thing I knew, Cheerilee was using her teeth to pick me up by the neck like a cat. It wasn't painful at all, but I couldn't help but feel more frustrated by the move.
“Now Ashley,” she was somehow able to say as she kept her teeth firmly around the fat of my neck, carrying me off in the direction we came from, “I know you said you’re not from Ponyville, but I can’t have you running off all on your own until we find your guardians.”
“I’m an adult!”
“Well,” she said calmly, “why don’t you prove it by acting like one?”
She continued to hold me as she walked for about a minute before setting me back down, which I responded to by immediately setting off once again in the opposite direction of the school before she was able to say a word. At that point, I didn’t care about whether or not I was acting like an adult. I just wanted to get away from her, even if it meant reconfirming in her mind whatever she thought about me.
I heard her sigh as she followed me, staying silent as I walked. Despite her being behind me and seeing other people, ponies , out and about, it was the first quiet moment I’d had since I’d gotten there, and it made me start to think. What was I going to do? What was I supposed to do? I was in a world I didn’t understand in an unfamiliar body as a child. I knew that being emotional wasn’t going to be helpful, and yet here I was, acting emotional and stomping off as if there was anything I could do.
“No, you’re not being emotional,” I thought. “These ponies just aren’t listening to you. You just need to… do something. I just wish I knew what…”
“Ashley?” Cheerilee asked, still directly behind me. “Can I talk to you?” Despite my urge to just flat out tell her no, I stopped and turned around to face her as she started simply, “What’s wrong?”
“I already told you what’s wrong,” I answered frustratedly as I turned back around but refrained from walking. “You just haven’t been listening to me.”
“Ash-”
“No,” I interrupted. “Tell me why you don’t believe me. Why would you think I’m lying about not being a girl?”
She let out a breath before saying, “Well, if you really were a colt from another world like you said, I’m sure Princess Celestia would’ve noticed by now.”
“And I guess it’s safe to assume that there’s no way for me to be able to talk to her at all since, from what you told me before, she’s the ruler of wherever we are.”
“No, you won’t be able to,” she confirmed.
“So I guess I’m just going to…”
I couldn’t help but sit down and put my head in my hooves as I started to feel sorry for myself. I’d been there just over twenty-four hours and I was just… letting myself get worked up. I needed a moment to relax and get myself straight, but so far, that moment hadn’t come, and it was screwing with my emotions.
“What would I even do anyway if you did believe me?” I said aloud, mostly to myself. “It’s not like anything would change. I’m going to be stuck here, and I don’t even know why. I wish I just knew why…”
“Well…” she started awkwardly as she sat down next to me, clearly trying to get me to talk again. “Why do you think you’re here?”
I knew she wasn’t going to understand, but I couldn’t help at least trying to talk out my problems, and answered, “I don’t know. I mean, I have a few ideas, but I really don’t know. I just… wish I knew what I was supposed to be doing here...”
“Lord,” I silently prayed, “please, I just ask that you give me a sign as to what I’m supposed to be doing here…”
“Well, um… what do you think you’re supposed to be doing?” the teacher asked cautiously.
“I don’t know. I have no idea. I’m just- I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m not acting like an adult right now. I’m sorry. I’m just… getting myself overwhelmed.”
“You’re okay,” she told me kindly, then paused before adding, “Why don’t we go back to the boutique and pick out a nice dress for you?”
I sighed disappointedly, frustratedly, saying, “I don’t want a dress. I just- how do you not know what pants are, but you do know what dresses are?”
“Why don’t you explain to me what they are?”
“Forget it. I’ll just- I’ll be fine I guess…”
“What about a shirt or a hoodie?” she asked. “I’m sure Miss Rarity has something like that, or could stitch something up for you. Would you wear something like that?”
“Yes,” I answered. “I’d like that please.”
She gave me a kind, gentle smile as she asked, “Why don’t we head over there now?”
I considered it for a second, before standing up and telling her, “Okay, but I’d really like it if you did something for me.”
“What’s that, dear?”
“I’d… really like it if you treated me like an adult and listened to what I’m telling you. You’ve just been treating me like a liar and dismissing me this whole time, and... I really don’t like it… and I don’t like the name Ashely...”
“I’m sorry,” she apologized. “You’re right. I haven’t been listening to you, and I’m sorry. If you don’t like the name Ashely, I won’t call you that.”
I felt like she was brushing past the bulk of what I was saying, but decided to be satisfied for the moment, and let her lead me back to the clothing store.
What we returned to was a unicorn that was a mess of tears. She was standing in a corner of the room, her mascara clearly running, sniffling and crying, hanging her head low. I instantly felt bad at the sight, automatically knowing she was crying because of me, and found myself wishing I hadn’t complained and stomped off.
Cheerilee cleared her throat and called, “Rarity? I have a filly here with me who told me she'd like you to design something for her.”
I blushed at the teacher's words as Rarity turned around and saw me, and then flinched as she suddenly ran up to me and wrapped her hooves around me without warning. It was one of the things I was going to have to get used to, the fact that nobody here had any sense of personal space.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, darling!” she cried as she held me tightly. “I didn’t mean to overwhelm you like that! I truly didn’t intend to pressure you! I just wonder how you’ll ever be able to forgive me!”
“I- I forgive you,” I stammared. “Please put me down though.”
“Oh, of course dear,” she responded, quickly letting me go and laughing nervously. “I’m terribly sorry. I do still hope I can make something for you however, if that’s quite alright.”
Her change of emotion from crying to fine in a second was very jarring to me, but with the hope of preventing more tears from her, reluctantly said, “Yes, please. Um, I’d like a shirt or a hoodie if it’s no trouble…”
“Not any trouble at all!” she assured me happily, excited that she could make something for me. “Let me just take some quick measurements of you here…”
The filly drew in a loud breath and tensed up fearfully as Rarity brought the tape measure up to her. She was just starting to get used to the idea of being a pony and living in Equestria when she saw something that nearly caused her to scream in surprise. It was a new wrinkle she didn't expect.
“How- how are you d-doing that?” Asher stuttered out quietly, nervously.
“Doing what darling?”
“How are you lifting the tape measure?” she asked barely above a whisper, her eyes trained on the transparent blue color that was wrapped around it.
“Why with my magic, of course!” the mare answered without batting an eye as she continued to measure her.
She flinched hard at that news and clenched her teeth, not liking the idea at all. She really, really didn’t want to be involved with magic, and being around it was making her very nervous.
“Is something wrong, dear?” Rarity asked a few moments later, finally noticing the way she looked.
“I really don’t want to be around magic,” Asher responded quickly as she continued to stare at the tape. “At all.”
“Can I ask why?” Cheerilee jumped in.
“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” the filly continued, the anxiety evident in her voice. “I just don’t want to be around it, please.”
“Give me just one more second here darling,” Rarity said, who’d already gone back to measuring her. “There! I’m done. Now, what color were you wanting it to be?”
“I- I um- give me one second,” she said, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath to try to get relaxed again.
"Are... you alright, darling?" the unicorn asked. "I didn't scare you did I?"
"No, I'm fine," she answered a bit shakily, keeping her eyes closed and still breathing. After several seconds, she opened her eyes and finally answered, “Blue. I'd- I'd like my hoodie dark blue, please.”
Rarity waited a moment for her to continue, and when she didn’t, asked, “Was there anything else you wanted on it? Any other colors or particular patterns?”
“No. Just solid blue, please, if that’s okay.”
“Are you sure? I can add anything you’d like, dear.”
She blushed again, and, afraid to make the mare cry again, told her, “I mean, you can add other stuff if you want to.”
“I assure you miss, by this time tomorrow, I shall deliver you with a hoodie that’s positively amazing !”
“I’m sure it will be, Rarity,” Cheerilee agreed. “For now though, Asher and I will be going back to Miss Holiday’s, where she's staying. We’ll see you tomorrow though. Goodbye for now.”
“Toodeloo!” she called as the two headed out.
The teacher waited until they were a bit of a ways away from the boutique before starting, “Can I ask why you don’t like magic?”
She didn’t answer, instead asking, “Can… can other ponies do that? Can other ponies use magic?”
“Well, everypony has magic,” Cheerilee explained. “Unicorns have magic to use levitation and cast spells, Pegasi have magic in their wings to fly and control the weather, and Earth Ponies like you and I can lift things with our hooves and are stronger than other types of ponies with our magic.”
The filly’s ears went down at that, hating the sound of it. She really, really didn’t want to associate herself with magic, and was nervous about the fact that she would be. However, she consoled herself with the fact that, at the very least, if she had magic in her hooves like the teacher suggested, it was because God gave it to her, and not because of… other things .
“Is something wrong?”
“It’s nothing,” she told her, her ears still pressed flat. “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”
“Are you sure? You can tell me anything. I’ll listen to you like you asked me to earlier.”
With an exhale, she quietly said, just above a whisper, “You’re not listening to me again right now.”
“Oh, you’re right,” Cheerilee chuckled awkwardly. “I’m sorry. You can tell me later if you want. But please promise you’ll tell me eventually. It’s not good to keep everything internalized.
“I haven’t kept anything internalized as of yet,” she thought as she assured her, “I promise I’ll tell you, but not right now. I need to get my thoughts straight and emotions under control. I’m not… acting right.”
“Come on, Twilight,” Spike said to the mare as the two walked through the town. “You’ve got two weeks to check on preparations! We should explore and meet other ponies! Maybe they have interesting things to talk about!”
“Well…” she trailed off thoughtfully as she watched a mare and a filly having some sort of conversation. As the two approached, she was able to pick up bits of their discussion, watching as the filly walked a bit awkwardly on her hooves.
“...you ponies have any sense of personal space?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, all of you ponies don’t seem to mind me not having clothes on or coming up to me and touching me nose to nose or flying me everywhere and scaring me.”
“Who picked you up and flew- oh! I’m sorry. Excuse us, please,” Cheerilee apologized as she bumped into the princess’s pupil.
“It’s no trouble. But um, can you tell me where Golden Oaks Library is by chance?”
“It’ll just be straight down this road on the left. You should get there in a few minutes.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
“It’s not a problem, miss.”
“That was certainly interesting,” Twilight thought as the two pairs made their separate ways, turning to take one last look at the filly, who was looking back at her as well.
“Is- is that a dinosaur?” the filly asked her teacher as she stood staring at the purple and green creature, more surprised than afraid, almost completely unaware that the purple pony she passed was staring directly at her.
“It looked like a dragon to me,” Cheerilee said, stopping a few paces ahead of her. “It looks like a baby one to me, though,” she added.
“There are dragons here, too?” Asher asked in disbelief. “What else is there?”
“There aren't any dragons here specifically,” the mare explained. “That’s actually the first one I’ve seen up close. Most of them live in the Dragon Lands as far as I know.”
“I- nevermind. I don’t wanna know about it,” she decided. “It sounds like something out of Dragon Tales. But like I was saying, none of you ponies have any sense of personal space.”
“Well, who picked you up and flew you around?”
“I don’t know. Someone blue with rainbow-colored hair...” She trailed off, then added, “I don’t like heights.”
“Oh, that’s just Rainbow Dash,” Cheerilee told her. “I assume Scootaloo said you guys should see her?”
“Yes, she did.”
“I’ll have a little talk with her about that when I can, I promise,” she assured her as they came into view of Scootaloo’s parents' house. “Well, here we are.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Asher said quietly with a sigh, then took a breath and told her teacher, “Thank you for trying to take me out to eat and trying to get me something to wear. I know I was… being difficult… but I- I appreciate it anyway…” By the time she finished, she was blushing and looking at her hooves.
“You don’t have to thank me,” she responded. “It’s no trouble. I know you’ve been stressed out since you got here, and part of it is my fault. I’m sorry.”
“It’s- it’s okay,” she answered back shyly. "It's not your fault." There was a second of silence before she added, “Can we go inside now?”
“Of course! Head right on in.”
Her hooves fumbled with the knob for a few moments before she was able to push the door open, then immediately jumped back in shock, startled by the sight before her.
“Surprise!” I heard a bunch of people scream at the same time as I looked into the house. There were probably thirty or forty ponies in there, mostly kids from what I could see, along with several adults. I suddenly remembered that one pink pony, Pinkie Pie, saying she would throw me a party to welcome me here, but with everything else that happened, I’d honestly forgotten about it. It seemed like ages ago she said that even though in reality it was less than twenty-four hours ago.
“Are you surprised?” she asked as she suddenly put herself directly in front of me, almost on top of me. “Are you? Are you? Are you?”
“I- um- yes, I- I am,” I stuttered out, shaking my head to regain my composure. “I just-”
“I knew I would surprise you!” she interrupted me. “I was thinking about throwing you a party yesterday, but Miss Lofty said no, and then I heard that you were with Miss Cheerilee this morning, so I knew it would be the perfect opportunity to throw one for you! So I went around town and got all of your new classmates so you could make more friends so you won’t be lonely! Do you like it, Asher? Do you?”
“Ummm… I- yes, but-”
“I knew you would, even if you seem like an adult to me. But never mind that! Let’s party!”
With that, she hopped away like a rabbit, leaving me standing there as music started playing from somewhere and people began to talk to each other.
“That was… I don’t know,” I said aloud as I watched as Scootaloo came up to me. “I’m really not sure about her.”
“That’s just Pinkie being Pinkie,” she responded. “I told you she throws everypony a party. She can be annoying sometimes, but at least she makes up for it by throwing the best parties. Nopony is better at parties than her.”
“Yeah…” I trailed off, looking around. The scene looked like something straight out of a TV show, with cupcakes and candy and a punch bowl as refreshments, and kiddie party games like ring toss and pin the tail on the pony that even the adults were taking part in. It looked nice enough, and I guessed that it would be fun to someone Scootaloo’s age, but to me, it looked… boring . It didn’t really help that I wasn’t that big of a fan of parties to begin with. Not that I hated them, they just weren't really my thing.
“So… what are we supposed to do?” I asked.
“Well, it’s a welcome to Ponyville party,” Scootaloo explained. “Maybe you should try and meet some new ponies. Hey! Sweetie Belle and I can walk around and introduce you to some!”
I frowned at that idea and said, “Maybe we could just wait for them to come to us. I mean, if this is a welcome party, then I think-”
“Oh no!” she suddenly interrupted. “Sweetie Belle's not here! I need to go get her!”
I turned around in time to watch her run out the door and leave me alone. I had no idea what I should be doing, and so just stood there in the middle of the room for several minutes while everyone else talked and laughed around me until a voice behind me started speaking.
“So you’re the new girl, huh?” it said as I turned around to see the pink and grey ponies I recognized from class yesterday. “I can’t believe you actually have to live with Scootaloo.”
“She’s like, the worst filly in Ponyville. We can’t stand her.”
“Uhh… can I ask why?” I asked cautiously. I wasn't entirely sure if I should've been talking to them, but without anything else to do, decided to engage them. Besides, I figured it would be good to know what other people thought about the person I was staying with.
“She stole our friend from us!” the pink one said. “Sweetie Belle used to be our friend, and she stole her from us!”
I couldn’t help but smile at that. They were children and had childish sorts of problems, and I couldn’t help but think that it was amusing
“You think this is funny?” she asked me accusingly.
“No,” I answered, dropping my smile. “It’s just… why don’t you just all be friends with each other?”
“Be friends with that loser ?” she asked as though it was the most horrifying thing in the world. “She doesn’t even like any of the same things we like! She only cares about that dumb scooter and being a Wonderbolt and obsessing over Rainbow Dash. I don’t get why Sweetie Belle even hangs out with her.”
“Well, um… maybe you could have Sweetie Belle hang out with you some days? And she could be with Scootaloo the others?” I offered.
“Sweetie Belle’s a lost cause by now,” the grey one said. “We’re looking for a new friend now, and Diamond and I think you should be it.”
“Uh, what?” I got out, confused.
“I know we made fun of you before,” the grey one started, “but that’s only because you were hanging out with that chicken . You don’t sound funny like a lot of the other fillies in our class, plus, you look pretty like us. If you were our friend, we could do your mane and dress up and have sleepovers-”
“Plus, my daddy’s the richest pony in town, and I could get him to buy you whatever you want.”
“And my family goes all over Equestria, and would let me take you with us if you were our friend.”
It sounded suspicious, like they were trying to sell me a used car, and from what I’d seen of them up to that point, they weren’t really the type of people I wanted to be around. Not only that, but I honestly didn’t want to do any of what they suggested we could do, and couldn’t help it as my cheeks went back to what seemed to be a semi-permanent state of pink. However, I didn’t want to outright tell them that I didn't really want to be with them for fear of them getting angry with me.
“That uh- that sounds very nice,” I got out, “but um-”
“Hold that thought,” the pink girl suddenly interrupted. “The chicken is back.”
I turned and watched Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle make their way up to us, smiling and talking to each other until they saw us. At our sight, their expressions hardened and they quickened their pace.
“Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara!” Sweetie Belle called out loudly, making me cringe as I looked around, expecting eyes to be drawn to us at her voice. “What are you two doing here?” she squeaked.
“We’re here for the party we were invited to,” Diamond Tiara answered with a smirk on her face. “Obviously .”
“Well, get away from her!” Scootaloo responded, taking a threatening step towards the two of them. “Go bother somepony else!”
"What makes you think we're bothering her?" she asked. "Does she look like she's bothered by us?"
“What, are you the only one that can talk to the new girl?” Silver Spoon got out. “Just because you met her first?”
“We were just asking her if she wanted to have a sleepover with us next weekend, right Asher?”
“Uh, I mean, to that effect somewhat, yes,” I answered as I looked at the ground, trying to both avoid lying and conflict.
“Yeah, well, she doesn’t want to stay with jerks like you,” the orange pegasus told them.
“Says who?” Diamond asked. “Just because she lives with you doesn’t mean you control her, Scootaloo.”
“Yeah,” the other one chipped in. “What are you, her mom?”
“Well, um… she, uh… she-'' Scootaloo stammered, tripping over her words.
“We’ll just get out of here and let her make her own decision on who she wants to hang out with, unlike someponies . We’ll see you in class tomorrow, right Asher?”
“Um, yes, I… guess…”
With that, the two of them left, leaving Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo standing next to me.
“You wouldn’t really have a sleepover with those two would you?” the latter asked. “They’re the biggest jerks in Ponyville!”
“I- I never said yes or no, and uh… can we- can we do something else? I really don’t want to talk about this, and I don’t like it when you fight because of me…”
“We were just trying to make sure they weren’t making fun of you.”
“I know, it just… I don't want anyone to fight because of me… can we please do something else? Like, play a game or something?”
It didn’t take Asher all that long to realize that her lack of hoof use and coordination would make it difficult to play most games, and so for the most part she sat watching the other foals while she tried to think.
Settling with the fact that she was here and was a pony now was at the top of her to-do list, and she felt like she was slowly but surely doing that. That was step one. Step two was figuring out what she was supposed to be doing here, and what it had to do with being a pony, a child, and a girl. After that, once she figured those things out, she could start to make more sense of her circumstances and work from there.
She began to wonder if she should even try convincing these ponies that she was telling the truth about her not being from there or that she was an adult male. Not that she would deny those things, but it was starting to seem like a waste of effort doing so. Her situation wasn’t going to change, so there wasn’t any real reason to try and convince these ponies about herself.
That didn’t mean that she would just automatically go along with whatever these ponies said. She wasn’t just going to suddenly start wearing dresses or using magic or-
“Wait,” she suddenly thought, realizing what she was previously thinking about and reexamining step two. “Am I… what? Hold on. Am I really… am I really… a girl right now?”
She quickly looked herself over, taking herself in. She knew she looked like a pony and therefore was a pony. Telling herself that she was still a human right then would’ve been weird. By that same logic, telling herself that she was a boy right then should’ve been weird, but the idea of saying that she wasn’t one felt awful to her.
“Am I really a girl right now?” she asked herself. “I mean, I know I’m a boy, but… if I’m stuck as… oh no…”
She quickly shook her head to get that horrible thought out of her head and decided to stop thinking. That wasn’t the kind of thought she wanted to have in her head, and decided to focus on… the lack of ponies around her. It looked like everypony besides Pinkie Pie, Sweetie Belle, and the ponies who lived in the home had already left, leaving Pinkie to do the cleaning.
“Is it over already?” Asher asked curiously, surprised that she could’ve been sitting thinking for so long when it only felt like a few minutes.
“Of course it is, silly!” the mare said, still sounding excited. “Everypony else was playing games and having fun while you were sitting there all quiet and gloomy watching them.” Then she gasped and said, “Oh no! Don’t tell me you didn’t make any new friends! That would be just horrible, and I’d have to throw you a ‘help-Asher-make-new-friends’ party!”
“That’s fine,” the filly responded quickly. “You don't need to do that. Uh, what day is it today though? Actually, what time is it, too?”
“It’s Wednesday, silly filly! And it’s about to be three, which means you have at least three more hours to have fun!”
“Yeah…” she trailed off, seeming like this day was taking even longer than yesterday was. “What do you ponies do all day, if I can ask?”
“Oh, fillies your age do lots of things, like talk and dance and play pretend and dress up and try to find their special talent and-”
As she talked, Asher was starting to put together that the word filly was the equivalent of saying girl in this world. When Pinkie talked about what fillies her age did, she was saying what girls Asher’s age did, and Asher found herself frowning because of it.
“And that’s not 'just us ponies' cause you’re a pony, too, silly! Oh! Maybe you’re pretending to be an alien from another world who’s trying to infiltrate Equestria and turned into a filly to disguise yourself! Can I play with you? Can I? Please?”
Asher suppressed a groan as she sighed, “I’m not playing a game. I’m really… never mind.” Then she yawned and said, “I think I’m just going to go to sleep for tonight. I’ve been up since… I don’t know when.”
“Not until you’ve taken a bath, missy,” she suddenly heard Lofty say behind her. “I’m pretty sure you didn’t have one yesterday, and I know you didn’t take one after you woke up this morning. You need to get in before dinner time.”
This time, Asher couldn’t suppress her groan as she rolled her eyes and said, “Of course, I need a bath.”
“How in the world do I use these things?” I silently asked myself as I sat in the warm water looking at my hooves. I once again tried to use them to pick up the soap and the washing towel, but only watched as they pushed the objects they tried to grab. It was frustrating to see because I knew I could do it, seeing as I picked up the fork last night, but for some reason wasn’t. I really didn’t want to have to rely on people to do basic tasks and growled at my lack of ability.
“Lord, just please let me figure out how to use these hooves…” I prayed. “Please just let me figure out how to do this…”
Almost the very next instant I heard a knock on the door and Lofty calling out, “Are you okay in there? Do you need any help? You’ve been in there for a while.”
“No, I’m fine,” I automatically answered, before suddenly getting an idea and changing my mind. “Actually, can you get Miss Holiday, please?”
“Sure thing,” she answered, and then about a minute later I watched the beige pony walk in. I felt my ears flatten against my head as I took a breath, trying to hide my embarrassment. I didn’t see why I was though. I was just as exposed now as I was before, but for some reason, I couldn’t help but be ashamed of myself.
“I need help using these hooves,” I said quickly before she could ask, intentionally not looking in her direction. “I can’t pick things up and I need to use the restroom, and I don’t want to have to get help with that.”
“Ah, well… hmmm…” she trailed off. “Let me think… I know you’ve already tried to pick things up before… Is your grip weak, or…?”
“I don’t have any grip at all with these stupid things,” I told her, frustration creeping into my voice. “I was able to pick up the fork last night, but when I realized what I was doing, I dropped it, and haven’t been able to pick up anything else since.”
“Okay, well… how did you eat and write and use the restroom before?”
“I wasn’t a pony before!” I said exasperatedly, knowing that I was sounding pouty.
“I see…” she trailed off again. “I’m no doctor but… well... why don’t you try gripping my hooves?” she asked, extending them out to me. “Let me feel how strong it is. I want you to grip as hard as you can.”
I leaned partway out of the tub and touched mine to her’s as I tried to do something . Even pressed up flat against mine, I could feel her hooves gripping around mine like a hand. It was a very weird sensation, but after a few seconds, I was able to feel myself gripping around her’s as though I had fingers again.
“Hey- hey!” I shouted excitedly, unable to contain my excitement. “I’m doing it! I’m actually doing it! I'm grabbing your hoof!”
“It looks like you are,” she said with a smile, seeming happy to see me happy.
“Yes! Yes! Thank you! Thank you, God! Thank you! Oh my gosh, I’m so happy!”
Holiday was genuinely happy to see Asher happy, although it once again reaffirmed the doubt in her mind that she was looking for attention. While she didn't know why her gripping Asher's hooves somehow made her able to grip back, she was fairly certain that if she were seeking attention, she wouldn’t be this excited about being able to do something so simple. However, she put that thought in the back of her mind for now as something to bring up to Cheerilee later when she had the chance.
“I’m glad you’re able to use your hooves, sweetie,” she said gently. “Now why don’t we get you dried off and brushed up so you can go back to playing with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle?”
“Okay, okay,” she responded, calming down from her excitement, not even feeling bothered when she was called ‘sweetie’. “But first,” she added, “I really do need to go to the restroom.”
“Okay.”
Asher watched her stand there for a few moments, then stuttered out, “Um, that means, um…”
“Oh,” the mare chuckled sheepishly. “I’m sorry. I’ll step out for now. Just call me back when you’re finished.”
The filly sighed and stepped out of the tub once she left, silently thinking, “Oh, thank you, God. Thank you for letting me be able to do this. Thank you for always answering my prayers and being with me and guiding over me. Thank you.”
Holiday waited by the door for Asher for a few minutes before she finally heard her call out that she was done.
“Oh dear,” she said as she reentered, taking in the wet filly. “You didn’t even shake yourself off after getting out. You’re dripping wet and there’s water all over the floor.”
“I’m sorry,” she told her. “I didn’t know I was supposed to shake off…”
“You’re fine. It’s just something to remember for next time. Now let me get you dried off,” she told her, quickly placing towels on her and rubbing her down and drying her off. Asher closed her eyes while she did, hating the feeling of being treated like a child. However, she didn’t protest mostly because she figured this would be the only time Holiday would do this for her since she could use her hooves properly now.
“Now I look like a wet puppy,” the filly commented once the mare was done drying her off.
“Well let me get your coat and mane brushed out,” she said as she grabbed a brush and sat down in the middle of the floor. Asher shook her head at that, but watched as the mare waited patiently for her to come and reluctantly sighed and sat down in front of her.
“I don’t want anything done to me,” she told her as she began. “I just want it brushed- oh my gosh!”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Holiday apologized as she lifted the brush out of her coat. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“Keep going,” she asked, then shivered as her coat started to be brushed again. “Oh, that feels really nice,” she said as she lay down completely.
“Have you never had your coat brushed before?” the mare asked curiously, watching the filly shake her head and close her eyes.
“Don’t stop though,” she said as she let out a sigh of contentment.
“Are you sure?” Holiday laughed as she continued. “You might fall asleep if I don’t, and then I can style your mane however I want to.”
“I'll stay awake,” she responded as she suddenly found herself drifting off. "I won't fall asleep."
Author's Note
A third of the stuff I write into the story I only write in cause I think it's cute
“Hey, Asher?” Holiday said quietly as she brushed the filly’s mane. “Sweetie? It’s time for you to wake up.”
She opened her eyes groggily, forgetting for a second where she was and looking around confused. What was she doing in a little girl’s room? And why was there a horse touching her hair?
“What am I doing here?” she asked tiredly, not fully coherent.
“You fell asleep while I was brushing your coat, dear,” Holiday answered, chuckling a bit at how adorable she thought Asher was.
“Oh yeah, I did fall asleep didn’t I?” she yawned, continuing without thinking, “The brushing felt really nice though.”
“It must have. It put you to sleep almost on the spot. You slept right through dinner and the entire night, but now you need to get up for school.”
“How long do you guys go to school?” she asked as she stretched her legs. “It didn’t feel like it was that long before I don’t think.”
“That’s a question you’re going to want to ask Miss Cheerilee when you see her. For now, though, why don’t we get you downstairs with Scootaloo so you can have something to eat? The last thing you had was at Pinkie Pie’s party I’m sure.”
“Yeah, I’m kind of hungry,” she admitted as she started to wake up, then suddenly thought of something. “But, um… I- I have a question first.”
“What’s that?”
“Um… how old do I look to you?”
“Well, how old are you?” Holiday joked with a grin, planning to just return her answer to her, but saw the filly frowning still and dropped her smile.
“I… don’t know.”
“You don’t know how old you are?”
“No…” she trailed off, then continuing, “I mean, I know how old I am, I’m about to turn twenty-five, but… I don’t look twenty-four to you, do I?”
“Well, how old do you feel like you are?”
“I don’t know… as old as Scootaloo? And she seems like she’s eight? Or ten?”
“Well, I’d say you look about that age, but why do you want to know?”
“Well, um…" she said awkwardly, embarrassed, for some reason thinking about the fact that she was near the age of puberty. "I- I just, um… I just- I… nothing. Never mind.”
“Are you sure? You can talk to me about anything you want to.”
“It’s nothing,” she assured her. “I might ask about it later though, but… not right now…”
Holiday wanted to press, but decided not to, instead telling her, “If you're sure, then you can head on downstairs. Miss Lofty already fixed something for you before coming back up here.”
“Okay, thank you. I appreciate it.”
The mare watched Asher quickly leave, and then, after waiting a few seconds for her to get down the stairs, went to see her wife in the other bedroom.
“Have you heard anything from Cheerilee or Mayor Mare about her yet, Lofty?” she asked as she entered, the pegasus laying back in bed, reading.
“Huh? Oh, no, I haven’t,” she answered. “Actually, I saw her a bit while I was out yesterday, and she said she still hadn’t gotten anything back from Canterlot, and most of the other nearby towns have said they haven’t had a missing pony reported..”
“It’s really strange, isn’t it?” Holiday said aloud, half talking to herself. “That she just showed up in Ponyville and after two days still nopony can say she’s the filly they’re missing? And how she said she was a boy and thinks she’s an adult… she seemed genuinely surprised and happy when I helped her find her hoof grip.”
“You don’t think she’s actually being serious when she says she’s from another world and didn’t use to be a pony, do you?”
“Well, no, but… it is worth considering at least a tiny bit, right?” Holiday suggested. “I mean, I honestly think both Cheerilee and that nurse are just brushing her off, truthfully.”
Lofty thought for a second, then responded, “Well, if you ask me, I don’t think she’s from someplace outside of Equestria, I think she has some..." She tapped the side of her head with her hoof to indicate what she wanted to say, then continued, "But I do agree that at least Cheerilee seemed like she was brushing her off a little bit when I talked to her, and Mayor Mare, too.”
“You think they were?”
“That’s what it seemed like to me. But honestly, if I had to guess…” She trailed off, leaving a bit of silence hanging in the air. Holiday raised her eyebrows at her, and then figured out what she was thinking when Lofty grimaced.
“You think-” Holiday started, then, as though somepony were listening, looked around and whispered, “You think she was abused? Like they were asking her about at the hospital?”
“It would make sense at least, why she’s so shy and says she’s an adult and a colt and why nopony’s reporting her missing,” her wife explained. “But either way, I think she might need to see a therapist. She’s kind of… weird…”
“She didn’t have any problems when she was around me. At least, none that I could see.”
“Are you going to try to talk to her?”
“I want to try, if you think it’s a good idea.”
“How often do you guys have school?” I asked Scootaloo as the two of us made our way over to Cheerilee’s schoolhouse. “Cause it feels like it’s summer to me, and I think I heard Cheerilee say something about a summer festival.”
“We have school on Tuesday and Thursday during the spring,” she explained to me, “and then it’s all week during fall and winter.”
“Is it not summer yet then?”
She shook her head, continuing, “Summer isn’t until the Summer Sun Celebration. It’s the longest day of the year.”
“Oh, the solstice,” I commented, only to get a strange look from her. “Never mind. It’s just a word for the longest and shortest day.”
“Ohhh… are you really not a pony?” she suddenly asked me, catching me completely off guard.
“What?”
“You don’t act like a pony to me, and talk kind of like an adult… you’re not just pretending to be an alien are you?”
“Well, I’m not an alien ,” I started, “I’m just not… I mean, I’m not supposed to be a horse. I promise I’m not lying when I say I’m not… oh no…”
I couldn’t help but fall down and tear up once I started thinking about the fact that I was a pony, and put my head in my hands as I started to. No, my hooves . These dumb hooves that I now had that I absolutely didn’t want.
“Asher?” Scootaloo asked as she stood next to me, sounding concerned as I started to cry.
“I’m not a human anymore,” I got out. “I’m not a human and I’m supposed to be, and it’s killing me. I don’t want to be this… whatever I am!”
I didn’t know why it was taking me so long to accept what happened. Up to that point, I felt like there were a few times I was able to cope with it, and then other times where it just became completely overwhelming. It was just… a powerful sense that I wasn’t supposed to be what I was, and I absolutely hated it. I didn’t know exactly what it was, but I found myself wanting to just be able to accept that this wasn’t going to change so the feeling would go away.
“Is this dysphoria?” I thought to myself as I cried. “Is that what I have? Lord, please, I pray that, whatever this is, you allow me the strength to accept what’s happened to me and you take this feeling away from me.”
I lay there for a few minutes, hoping something would happen right then, but not being surprised when nothing did. I did think though that I started to feel a little bit better, but much more slowly than I was hoping for.
“Stop acting like this,” I told myself. “You’re supposed to be an adult and yet you’re acting like a child. Just grow up and accept that it won’t change. Why can’t you just accept that?”
I lay there quietly crying to myself for a few minutes, Scootaloo speaking up after a while, saying, “Um… I think, um, we should…”
“Just go ahead of me,” I sniffled out. “I’m just going to lay here for a little while if that’s okay.”
“Uh, okay. If you say so.”
“Just accept it, Ash,” I told myself as I watched her walk. “Just accept that nothing’s going to change. You were put here and that’s it. What’s taking you so long to get that through your head. You’re not a human anymore. You’re not an adult anymore. You’re not a boy anymore. Just get that through your head. You’re not a boy anymore. You’re just a…”
I growled to myself as I dug my hooves into my forehead. Why did I have to be a girl? I could see a pony and a kid since everyone else here was ponies and I wouldn’t have any place to stay if I was an adult, but why a girl? What was the point of that?
“Why couldn’t I have just been a boy?” I asked myself aloud. “It’d make this so much easier to get over if I could’ve just stayed a boy…” I closed my eyes, another couple of tears running down as I whispered, “I don’t want to be a girl."
“Why are you laying on the road?” a familiar voice, Diamond Tiara I remembered, called out to me. “You’re gonna mess up your coat like that,” she told me as I rubbed my eyes and sniffed a little bit, turning around to watch her and her companion walk up to me.
“I’m just feeling really terrible cause...,” I started without thinking as they approached before stopping. “It’s… it’s nothing. Never mind. What are you two doing here?”
“It’s Thursday,” the pink girl, filly , answered. “It’s time for school.”
“Oh yeah…” I said, forgetting about that. “I guess that’s where Scootaloo and I were going.”
“Did you two fight?” Silver Spoon asked. “She didn’t hurt you, did she?”
“No, I just-”
“You should walk with us since you’re our friend now,” Diamond interrupted as she held out a hoof to help me up. “You’re totally coming to our sleepover next week, right? It’s going to be on Thursday, and we don’t invite just anypony to hang out with us.”
“I mean, I guess,” I answered automatically as the three of us started to walk back to the schoolhouse. “I’m just a little-”
“That’s perfect! It should give you a break from having to live with her ,” Silver Spoon said.
“It must be awful,” the other agreed. “How do you do it?”
“Asher!” I heard Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo call before I could answer. “What are you doing with those two ?” she asked as she and Sweetie Belle came running up to me.
“She’s walking with us to school cause you abandoned her on the road, Scootaloo,” Diamond Tiara answered before I could.
“Yeah, she’s our friend now,” Silver Spoon added.
“Scootaloo didn’t abandon me-” I tried to get out.
“I didn’t abandon her! She told me to go ahead! You probably found her and started making fun of her!”
“We weren’t making fun of her! She wanted to come with us! Right, Asher?”
“Yes, I did, but-”
“How can you want to be friends with them?” Sweetie Belle jumped in. “They’re the meanest ponies in class!”
“I don’t even-”
“She wants to be our friend cause she’s pretty like us and she…”
I stopped listening and sighed to myself as they began to argue back and forth. I didn’t want kids fighting over being my friend, and grumbled to myself because of it. This was exactly like being back in elementary school, and it made me frustrated that I couldn’t really do that much about it. From what I could tell and from what I was told yesterday, it didn’t seem like this fighting was something that would just end, so I did the next best thing I could and simply walked away towards the schoolhouse that was only a couple of dozen or so yards away.
I sat down quickly in my seat and put my head on my desk, sighing again in frustration and still a bit emotional from earlier. I wanted to be able to go into work or study for school or go to church or something , but all I could do right then was sit at my desk and think to myself about my problems and make myself more frustrated.
“If I could just figure out what I’m supposed to be doing here -” I said aloud, exasperated, before Miss Cheerilee came up to me.
“You don’t have to be in here quite yet,” she told me, responding to my comment. “We still have some time before class starts. You can go out and play with your friends for now if you’d like.”
The fact that she used the word play didn’t help the bitter mood I was developing, and I angrily told her, “I don’t like kids.”
“You don’t like kids?”
“They’re out there fighting over being my friend and it’s annoying,” I explained grumpily. “They did it yesterday at the party and the day before that at recess. I felt bad the first time, but now it’s just irritating. I don’t want to have to hear fighting whenever I’m around them. I can’t even get a word in with them.”
“I see… I’ll have a little chat with them soon. But other than that, how are you doing?”
“I’m fine I guess. Miss Holiday showed me how to use my hooves to grip things, so I’m better. I’m just… being emotional again right now…”
“It’s okay to be emotional. It’s not good to hold everything in. Can I ask if there’s anything else making you upset besides your friends fighting?”
“No. I’m not in the right headspace to talk about it right now.” She gave me a look like she wanted to know more, and I continued, “It’s about the everything else I told you yesterday that you didn’t believe.”
“Asher-”
“I’ll be fine. I promise.”
She squinted at me before finally saying, “Okay, but if you need to tell me anything, you can talk to me anytime. Let me go speak with your friends now though.”
I rolled my eyes as she left, mumbling grumpily to myself. I guess I could tell her anything, but I knew she either wouldn’t believe me or would just take what I said out of context. Not that there was anything I could do about it, or any real reason to tell her anything anyway.
“The best I can do for now is go through the motions, I guess. I just wish I knew what I was supposed to be doing…”
The silver-coated filly sighed to herself often as the dull school day seemingly dragged on forever. She was used to taking classes, and in fact remembered driving into class the day before she became a pony. However, she wasn’t particularly used to being taught things she already knew. From what she could tell, this was third to fourth-grade level education, and found herself extremely bored because of it.
She did pay more attention once Cheeilee moved into history, and was a little bit interested in what she had to say then.
“As most of you know, our very own Ponyville is holding the Summer Sun Celebration very soon, but do you all know how many years it will have been since the first one was held?” The foals didn't know and no hooves raised up to answer, so she continued, “It was one thousand years ago. This is the one-thousandth Summer Sun Celebration.”
Asher looked skeptical at that and asked aloud, “Was it exactly a thousand years ago? And this exactly is the thousandth anniversary?”
“Yup! This is number one thousand,” Cheerilee confirmed, forgetting to reprimand her for not raising her hoof to ask a question.
“That… that can’t be a coincidence, can it?" she thought. "I’m sent here on exactly the one thousandth sun fesitval?”
“Legend has it that during the celebration, a pony’s magic gets stronger, so pegasi fly faster, earth ponies become stronger, and unicorns can cast more powerful spells.” It was all things she told her class the previous year about the festival, but Asher found herself very interested in what Cheerilee was telling them.
“This… this can’t be a coincidence. And it’s in this city?”
“And Princess Celestia will come right here to Ponyville to raise the sun in the middle of the night!”
“ And the princess is going to come here to raise the sun? This can’t be a coincidence! I’m sure God put me here because of something to do with that!”
“Okay, class,” Miss Cheerilee finally called. “I know you all have been working very hard, so I’ll give you all a little bit of extra recess. Be back inside at.. twelve forty-five? We’ll say one o’clock. Have fun!”
Just like a couple of days ago, the class rushed outside while I followed behind them, going a little bit slower as I tried to think to myself. I thought I knew what I was supposed to be doing, or at least had a hint as to when I was supposed to be doing… something , but even that I really couldn’t be sure of. Other than what the teacher told me, I really had no idea what this holiday was or what I would even do on that day, assuming there was something I needed to do.
“This could just be a coincidence, you know,” I thought to myself. “The reason could be something else entirely. Besides, that holiday doesn’t really explain why you’re… no, stop. You really need to stop questioning what happened. I mean… is it even appropriate to be searching for a reason for being here? Even if it seems completely pointless to you, it’s still not your will that brought you here… Maybe I should try to do some research and see-”
“Hey, Asher!” someone, Diamond Tiara, called, waving her pink hoof in the air. “You should come sit with Silver Spoon and I!”
“I’d really rather not,” I called back. “I don’t like having you ponies fight over me.”
“We’re not going to fight over you,” she assured me.
“Yeah,” the grey filly agreed. “Miss Cheerilee said that we get to hang out with you during recess cause you already live with those two weirdos.”
“Well, I mean, I guess that’s pretty fair…” I trailed off, not really wanting to be with either of them at that very moment. “But, um… do you know if we can leave and do other things right now?”
“Like what?”
“Ah, like… I don’t know, like… I- I don’t know. Can we- achoo! ”
“Celestia bless you,” the pink filly responded politely, which caused me to cringe.
“I don’t like that,” I told them, my face grimacing. “I really don’t- achoo! Achoo! ”
“Are you sick or something?” the silver filly asked, backing away from me a bit.
“No, I just got something in my nose,” I explained as I used a hoof to rub it. “But um, anyway, what did you guys want to do?”
“You said you wanted to go to the library?”
“Oh yeah, um… do you think we can go? Actually, is there a library around here at all? Wait, nevermind, I can’t read anything you ponies write… dang it…”
“Why do you want to go to the library anyway? There’s nothing to do there.”
“And what do you mean ‘you ponies’?”
“I’m not a- nothing. It’s nothing,” I told them as I walked over and sat down next to them. “What do you guys do for fun?”
“We talk to each other,” Silver Spoon said, leaning back against a tree, the three of us positioned a bit farther away from the schoolhouse than the rest of the class.
“Yeah, like look at-”
“Achoo!” I sneezed again, sniffling as I closed my eyes and rubbed my nose. “Is there- is there pollen out here or something?”
“Noooooo…”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but if you’re sick, we don’t want you near us.”
“Yeah.”
“It’s probably just allergies or something,” I told them as I sniffed again and rubbed my nose and eyes. “I’m probably fine.”
The two of them stared at me suspiciously before Diamond reluctantly told me, “Fine, I guess. But if we get sick, we’re going to be mad at you.”
“I don’t think I’ll get you sick. But, um, what is it you guys do again?”
“We talk about other ponies,” she explained, pointing to an ivory coated girl with red hair. “Like, look at Twist with those glasses and ugly braces.”
“Hi, I’m Thwitht,” the other one mocked. “She sounds like such a dork,” she said as the two of them laughed.
“That’s, um, that’s a bit mean…” I responded quietly.
“Or those two, Snips and Snails?”
“They’re the dumbest colts in our class.”
“Yeah, and what about-”
“Is there anything else you two do?” I interrupted. “Like, do you two play games or anything?”
“Not the games they play,” Silver Spoon squinted.
“Those games are for foals like them,” Diamond Tiara added.
“What about that holiday Miss Cheerilee said is coming up?” I asked. “Is there anything special about it?”
“Not really. It’s just some dumb holiday. The only thing we like about it is that we can stay up later and it means that school is over.”
“I mean, since it’s in Ponyville this year, that means a bunch of ponies from other cities will come to see Princess Celestia, but other than that-”
“Achoo!”
“Okay, we really don’t want you near us if you’re getting sick,” Diamond Tiara said, sounding concerned as the two scooted away from me a bit before standing up to walk away. “We’ll… talk to you later. When you stop sneezing.”
“Why are you sitting all alone, Asher?” Cheerilee asked as she made her way up to the filly.
“They left because they think I’m sick,” she answered back simply as she lay down in the shade, a bit of the sun hitting her head and mane. “I don’t mind though. I need time to clear my head, and being alone helps.”
“What are you clearing your head of?” the teacher asked politely.
“I already said that I’m not talking about that with… achoo! ”
“Are you sure you’re not sick?” Cheerilee asked as she bent down and put a hoof to her forehead. “You feel kind of warm.”
“That’s because I’m laying with my head in the sun, but no, I’m not sick. I think I just have allergies or something.”
“Okay, but if you start to feel sick, please tell me or your guardians when you get back home, okay sweetie?”
With a blush, the filly responded, “Okay. Will do.”
There was an awkward few seconds of silence before Cheerilee leaned down a bit farther, asking, “Why don’t you go play with your classmates? I don’t think you want to be laying alone all recess, do you?”
“I’m fine,” she answered, looking away. “Like I said, I’m taking some time to try and clear my head, and I'm an adult anyway, so… oh, I do have a question actually. Is that princess, Celestia, is she… what is she? I mean, other than the princess, I mean. Also, is there a queen? Or a king?”
“Well, as I said before, she’s the ruler of Equestria. And no, there’s no king or queen. Princess Celestia is the highest authority in Equestria.”
“Okay, so, umm…” the filly trailed off. She tried to think to herself. She knew that the teacher told her that she physically raised the sun each morning, remembered the way she was described yesterday, and thought about the fact that Diamond Tiara specifically said ‘Celestia’ bless you. All of those things combined made her… nervous . From what she could tell, this princess they were referring to was an actual, physical person that would be coming to Ponyville in two weeks, and just that thought made her anxious. She really didn’t like the fact that this pony was, from the descriptions she heard, almighty, and she found herself a little bit afraid to meet her.
“And she’s a real pony?” she asked. “Who’s gonna be here during the Summer Sun- achoo! Ahack, ahack…”
“Honey, I think you’re getting sick,” Cheerilee said, lifting the scruff of her neck to help her stand up. “I might have to have you miss the rest of class and send you home early…”
“I’m fine,” she asserted. “I promise. I don’t feel sick. Like I said for the third time now, it’s probably allergies or something.”
“Have you had allergies before? Have you got all your shots from the doctor?”
“Yes, every spring and summer, and yes, I’ve been vaccinated. I mean, not as a pony, but as a human.”
“Well… I’ll trust you… but if you feel sick or like you’re about to throw up, please tell me, okay?”
“Okay…” she answered as she went back to laying down.
I didn’t think I was sick, but slowly through the rest of recess and class, I could say that I was feeling gradually worse, sneezing often enough that it started to hurt my nose and throat. The fact that Miss Cheerilee brought up shots made me actually accept the possibility that I was sick. I had only appeared here a few days ago, so I certainly wasn’t immune to anything these ponies were carrying.
Still, I didn’t really feel that bad throughout the rest of the teacher's lessons and heading back to Holiday and Lofty’s house, and so, as I walked with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, the latter decided we should pass our stop by and head over to her home.
“I’m with my sister Rarity right now,” she explained to me squeakily, “and she and I live on the top floor of her store.”
“Weren’t you saying earlier how she has something for Asher?” Scootaloo asked. “A jacket or something?”
“Oh yeah, she did tell me to tell you she had what you asked for made already, Asher.”
“She made a hoodie that quickly?” I asked, kind of surprised as we pulled up. “In less than a day?”
“My sister’s really good at sewing, it’s her special talent!”
"Oh hey, Asher, Diamond and Silver weren't mean to you, were they?" Scootaloo asked seriously. "Cause if they were-"
"They weren't mean to me," I assured her.
"What did you three do all recess?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Well, we talked to each other for a- achoo! - for a little bit, and then they left because they thought I was getting sick... but um, they were kind of making fun of other ponies. Apparently, that's all they do, is talk about you guys."
"That's cause they're the biggest bullies in class, like we've been telling you!"
"I can't believe you actually said yes to sleeping over with them, Asher!"
"It's probably going to be awful. It wasn't any fun when I used to sleep over with them..."
“I see… ummm, how old are you and Scootaloo if I can ask?”
“We’re both ten,” Scootaloo answered as we stepped into the store, a bell ringing as we did. “So are a lot of the ponies in our class.”
That felt weird to me, because from what I gathered, they sounded and acted more like they were in the seven to eight-year-old range. However, seeing as they had no reason to lie as far as I could tell, I took their word for it, and made a note that, as far as I knew, the body I was in looked ten.
“Rarity, we’re here!” Sweetie Belle called to her sister. “Asher’s here, too!”
“Asher’s here?” the unicorn called back. “Oh good! I have something that I know she’ll love!”
Before I could stop her, she was on top of me and placing me into her gift, a dark blue hoodie with green swirls and yellow flowers patterned against it. It was very girly looking, and I felt absolutely embarrassed wearing it. However, I couldn’t say I had much room to complain, seeing as I explicitly said she could add whatever she wanted to it.
“Oh, you look just adorable in it!” Rarity told me as she clapped her hooves somehow, causing the two girls next to me to giggle. “What do you think? Do you like it, dear?”
“It’s umm…” I started, clearing my throat. “It’s good,” I lied, reminding myself that while it was a lie, it wasn’t bearing false witness per se. “I, um- it’s good.”
“You can tell me if you don’t like it,” she said, which I knew I couldn’t do, just judging by her reaction yesterday to me declining a dress from her. “I can fix it up however you want.”
“It’s fine, I promise,” I assured her, wanting the conversation to end. “Ah, do you guys want to go to the library?" I asked, turning to the two girls next to me. "I can’t really read and I kind of need your help.”
“Hello?” Scootaloo called as the three entered Golden Oaks Library. “Is anypony here?”
“I’m here!” somepony, Twilight Sparkle, called as she made her way down the steps, carrying Spike on her back as she did so.
“Oh, it’s you again,” Asher announced in recognition. “Are you- achoo! - are you the librarian?”
“Is that a dragon?” Scootaloo asked curiously, tilting her head.
“Is there anything to eat in here?” Sweetie Belle asked. “I’m starving!”
“Ugh, I don’t have time for this!” the mare said frustratedly as she marched past them, out the door. “Just browse the library and put everything back when you’re done. I have things I need to do.”
“Ugh, this is boring!” Scootaloo announced as the three of them looked through the library. “What’s the point of this anyway? We’ll never find anything here! Let’s just do something else!”
Asher sighed to herself as she looked at the spines of the books. Interestingly enough, the titles were written in English, but the insides of each one were all just filled with squiggles as far as she could read. She knew she'd need Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo’s help reading through them, assuming she knew what she was looking for, which she didn’t. Besides, what was she even hoping to find? Some plot to destroy the world? It probably really was just a coincidence that the holiday that was coming up was on its one-thousandth anniversary, as well as the fact that it was being celebrated there.
The filly sighed to herself again, telling her friends, “I guess we can go… I guess there’s nothing here…”
“Do you really think something’s gonna happen during the Summer Sun Celebration?”
“I don’t know… I was kind of guessing more than anything… I mean, how can it be just a coincidence that I'm sent here for exactly number one thousand?” Asher asked, exasperated, sitting down roughly at the table in the library.
“Hey, maybe there’s something about where you’re from that can help you?” Scootaloo offered, trying to get her to talk about herself.
“Yeah, what’s it like where you came from?” Sweetie Belle jumped in, much more obvious about what the two of them wanted.
“I mean, it’s just like here, except there’s humans instead of ponies, and it has better technology and stuff.”
“What’s techo-nology?” the white filly squeaked.
“Technology is… it’s anything that’s not… it’s anything that you use to- achoo! - to make your life easier. Like, for example, books are a form of technology. And so are clothes and plates and houses and basically everything that’s made by humans… or ponies in this case. We just have better technology, or, basically, better tools. Better versions of things.”
“Well how do you get the better version of a book?” Scootaloo asked.
“Well, you…” Asher started before looking up to the ceiling, trying to figure out how to communicate what she wanted to clearly. “Hold on, let me think of a way to explain what I want to say…”
She looked around the room for a few seconds, then got an idea and took a book that was already on the table they were at and opened it to the cover.
“Okay, so, you know how this book is filled with pages of words, right? Well, imagine if all of the words in that book plus every book in this library could fit on the cover of this book, and it was still perfectly readable and you only saw one page at a time, and you could get to whatever page or book you wanted just by touching the cover. That’s the kind of thing we have on Earth.”
“That sounds really cool! What kind of spell do you have to do that?”
Asher frowned at that suggestion, explaining, “There’s no- well… for all intents and purposes, there’s no magic on… achoo! I think I actually am getting sick...”
“Well, then how did you get here?” Sweetie Belle asked innocently. “And how did you become a filly like you said?”
“I don’t really…” she started, about to tell them she didn’t want to talk about it before changing her mind. “Okay, so this time, I want you to imagine someone who’s…” She paused for a second, trying to think about how to explain the concept of God to a kid who’d never heard of him, before continuing, “Imagine someone who’s omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent.”
“Wait, what do all those words mean?”
“It means someone who knows everything, can do anything, and is everywhere all at once. And also this person is invisible. That’s the person who sent me here.”
“That… that’s freaky,” Scootaloo commented. “And also sounds like Princess Celestia, except she’s not invisible and isn’t everywhere. I mean, I don’t think she’s everywhere, anyway…”
“Wait, how can somepony be everywhere at once?” Sweetie Belle asked thoughtfully.
“God’s not a pony,” Asher started, ignoring the nervousness she felt at the comment about Celestia, “and I don’t really mean physically everywhere at once. It’s more like… how air is everywhere at once, but you don’t really notice it. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t everywhere. That’s kind of like how God is to put it simply.”
“Ohhhhh… so that’s the pony who brought you here? And why you’re trying to find books about the Summer Sun Celebration?”
“Yes. Correct. That is right.”
“Well if he can do anything, why didn’t he just tell you what to do before he teleported you here?”
“That’s… not a question I have the answer to. I’m kind of waiting to be told why.” Asher watched as Sweetie Belle opened her mouth and quickly continued, “Not that he physically tells me why. He doesn’t. It’s more like a feeling you get. Like how you can tell your parents want you to do something just by looking at them. It’s like that.” She had the urge to add that she didn’t want them to think she was crazy, but forced herself not to.
“So is that why you told us you were a colt before?” Scootaloo asked innocently.
Asher blushed at that and held her ears flat against her head, her grey fur almost becoming a shade of red. She had some… ideas as to why she might have been a filly, but her ideas why being true would mean that her having to do something at the Summer Sun Celebration would be completely wrong. She growled to herself slightly, more ashamed of herself than angry.
“Maybe it’s because you need to learn to be nicer to people who are different from you rather than just try to avoid them,” she thought to herself. “Maybe that’s why you’re a girl now, so you can stop being so mean to people like that. Maybe that’s why you were put with those two ladies, Holiday and Lofty, did you consider that? Maybe you’re a girl because… ugh, I really, really hate myself…”
“Let’s just go…” Asher answered back after a while, sighing to herself.
“There you three are!” Lofty said as we came into the house. “Where were you girls all afternoon?”
“We were at the library,” Scootaloo explained as I looked down at myself and remembered what I was wearing. A blue hoodie with yellow flowers on it. I scowled at myself as I quickly started to pull it off, surprising myself at how well my hooves acted now as compared to the previous two days, almost losing my grip thinking about it too much. Once I got it off, I held it out in front of me and examined it closer. It was nice enough I figured, except it was a piece of girls' clothing, and for that reason alone, I knew I wasn’t going to be wearing it that often.
“Would God even want me to wear this? I mean, it’s a… wait, what am I saying? It’s a piece of clothing! I don’t think He’ll care whether or not I wear a hoodie or a dress. Not that I will because it’s girls’ clothes, but…”
I closed my eyes and let the thought hang. I wasn’t a girl. Probably . That probably was what was scaring me. I really didn’t want to be a girl. I really, really didn’t want to be a girl. I didn’t want to be stuck like this forever.
“But if God made me a girl, then I’m a girl now, aren’t I? I can’t just… oh, I hate this so badly…”
“Did you hear me, missy?” Lofty suddenly said, leaning down in front of me, startling me. “It’s time for you three to take a bath before dinner.”
“Oh! Um, yeah, sorry,” I got out, shaking my head and noticing that Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle had already left. I followed upstairs after them and headed to the bathroom, peering in for a second before turning my head, completely embarrassed.
“What’s wrong? Scootaloo asked innocently as she and Sweetie Belle sat in the tub, the latter turning the water on and adding bubbles as the former spoke.
“Why- why are you and she- she and…” I stuttered, turning my head a little bit to look back in.
“We already told Aunty Lofty she was spending the night, remember? And then she said we three have to take a bath before dinner?”
“Okay, but why- why... why are you taking a bath with her?”
“Um, because we’re friends?” Sweetie Belle told me, sounding confused. “You can get in, too. There’s enough room for all three of us in here.”
I was probably more embarrassed right then at that suggestion than I was at any other time up to that point. Of course, they didn’t care, seeing as they were kids, but I was neither a kid nor a girl, as far as I considered myself at least. I stared at the floor silently as they waited for me to say something.
“Well, are you going to get in?” Scootaloo asked.
“N-no!” I answered quickly, shaking my head and taking a step back. “I’m not- no!”
“Why not?”
“Be-because I’m a grown man! I can’t- I can’t take a bath with you!”
“What’s this about not taking a bath?” Holiday broke in, walking up behind me.
“I’m not- I’m not- I won’t- I’m not taking a bath with little girls,” I told her as I turned around, trying to put conviction into my voice. “That’s where I’m drawing the line at.”
“Hey! We’re not little!”
“Not even for Miss Lofty and I?” she asked. “It’s really better to take one before dinner so you have more time to play with-”
“No,” I responded firmly. “I’m not taking a bath with them. Bathing with someone else is as far as I go.”
“Are you sure? It looks like they’ll be sad, sitting all alone in there without you, Asher…”
I didn’t turn to look at them, instead keeping my gaze firmly fixed on the mare in front of me, trying to wear a forceful expression to show that I wasn’t going to change my mind.
“Well… I won’t make you take a bath right now if you promise to take one right after supper, okay?”
“Okay, I will. I just don’t- I want to be alone. I’m not taking a bath with someone else.”
“Lofty and I really don’t like to waste water, but… I’ll see what I can do about that. But since you’re not bathing right now, I do want to take a moment to talk to you alone.”
“Okay…”
“What’s going on, sweetie?” Holiday asked as the two of them entered her room, taking seats on the bed. “Why don’t you want to take a bath with your friends?”
Her face became red with embarrassment as she told her, “Because people where I’m from don’t take baths with each other. I know you ponies don’t care about certain things, but I do, and I’m not comfortable taking a bath with girls. Not to mention the fact that I’m an adult male and they’re little girls, and I already have to sleep in the same bed as them…”
“Okay, can you tell me where you are from? And what do you mean you’re a male?”
“Are you just gonna brush off everything I’m saying? Cause I don’t want to talk to you if you’re not gonna listen to me. I might as well save my breath.”
“I’ll listen to you,” she assured her, using a hoof to pet Asher’s leg a bit. “I know it seems like a lot of ponies aren’t listening to you, but I’ll listen, I promise.”
She almost didn’t want to believe the mare, but she decided to trust her, seeing the genuine look she was giving her. Besides, she seemed nice enough, like she actually cared about her from what she could tell, and talked to her more than any of the other adults.
“Well, I’m from somewhere- Achoo! - called Earth, a place that doesn’t have any ponies and has better technology than this place,” she said, telling her what she told Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. “And I mean I’m not a girl. I’m physically not a girl… well, I mean, I am right now, but I didn’t use to be. I’m a boy, and used to physically look like one, too.”
“Well, you certainly look like a girl to me,” Holiday responded politely, almost as though she were talking to a child. “How are you going to find a boy and get married if you tell ponies you’re a boy, too?”
That was a question she was unprepared to hear, and it caused her cheeks to go almost crimson and her ears to stand up, the tips almost starting to turn red, too. It was along the lines of what she’d been thinking about before, but forced herself to push away before she could think too deeply into it.
“Thoughts are thoughts, and actions are actions,” she told herself silently. “Thoughts don’t become actions until you either act upon them or speak them into existence. Until then, they’re only thoughts, nothing more.”
“I don’t like colts…” Asher said quietly, looking away from Holiday and rubbing her hooves along the bed.
“Oh, well it’s okay to like fillies, too. You don’t have to say you’re a colt to-”
“I don’t like girls, either,” she told her, her ears dropping back down. “I don’t like anyone. I’m like… asexual or something probably.”
“It’s okay to be a girl and like girls, sweetie.”
“No, it’s not, at least, not the way you’re implying that. And I’m not a girl. I’m not a girl, and I don’t like girls, and even if I were and did, it wouldn’t be okay to just... act on that like you're suggesting it is.”
“I promise it’s okay, Asher,” Holiday told her kindly, bringing a hoof up to her side to pet her. “Lofty and I are both girls, and we like each other. You don’t need to say you’re a colt to like fillies, I promise.”
“There you go, not listening to me,” she said angrily, crossing her hooves. “Why do I even say anything? None of you listen to me… I’m not a filly...”
“I’m sorry,” the mare apologized, realizing she was treating her the way Cheerilee and Nurse Redheart did. “I believe you,” she lied. “You’re a colt. Besides, even if you weren’t a filly and didn’t like them, it’d be okay to be a colt and like colts, too.”
“I don’t like colts,” she said to her again, her ears pricking back up a little bit and some of the red returning to her face. She tried to say it with the same tone as she had when saying she didn’t like girls, but couldn’t help but have it come out much more quiet and shy than before.
"I'm not... like that... I don't like boys..." she trailed off, her voice soft as she spoke.
“Okay, I believe you, you don’t like colts,” Holiday answered back softly. “But if you did, that would be perfectly okay, and nopony would get mad at you or not like you.”
“Whatever,” she sighed quietly, turning away from her. “Can you ask about something else? I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
Author's Note
Spoiler! We've been discussing the fact that Asher is probably maybe gay for some time (like, months) in my server, and I've hinted about it in other chapters (most notably in Lofty Dreams And Apparent Holidays
So uh... you can join my discord buy me a coffee?
“So, um… can you tell me where you’re from?” Holiday asked me kindly.
“Well, um, it’s like I was telling Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. It’s a place called Earth that’s basically like this place except it’s… kind of different? As far as I can tell it’s mostly the same though, kind of.”
“What kinds of creatures live there?” she asked me. “Earth ponies I bet?”
“Uh, I’m not exactly sure what you mean when you say an ‘earth pony’, but I’m going to assume you’re not talking about regular horses, so no. There’s… we’ll, there’s a lot of different animals, but I guess the main thing is that there are people, unlike here.”
“What do they look like, if I can ask?”
“They’re tall, and lanky looking I guess?” I explained. “So, well…” trying to think of how to describe it as best I could, “it’d be like… if you stood on just your hind legs all the time and walked like that, you’d resemble a human more, and I think you'd be about as tall as one if you did that? Except you’d also need feet and hands, and ears more on the side of your head, and no fur… also, we don’t, um- we don’t go around naked…” I couldn’t help but blush once I finished that thought.
“Okay, so if you’re a colt… err, a boy, since you’re not a human… did you want me to… call you a boy as well?”
“Yes! Yes please!” I answered quickly. “I would like to be called a boy because that’s what I am. That would make me feel, like, twelve times better if you did that.”
“Well, I can… certainly see what I can do about that. I can’t speak for what we’ll do in public, but I can say, at least right now, that I know a very handsome boy, and his name is Asher.”
“Oh my gosh!” I laughed for what I thought was the first time as a pony, taking in the feeling of genuine happiness, almost euphoria if felt like. “Oh my gosh! Oh, that makes me- achoo!- that makes me really happy!”
Holiday couldn’t help but smile at her smile. She was almost certain that it was the first time she saw the filly smile since she met her… or him? She wasn’t entirely convinced about her being a boy, but if it made her smile, she would go along with calling her one for now.
“Well, I think you’re a very nice boy,” she told her, watching her grin widely at that. “But other than creatures, what else is different about it?”
“Well, there are cars and computers and skyscrapers and things like that… like, honestly, if there were humans here, I’d say this was someplace on Earth, either very remote or sometime in the past… maybe the sixteen hundreds? What with the thatched roofing and all…”
“What exactly is a skyscraper?”
“It’s a building that’s really tall, thousands of feet, and it looks like it ‘touches the sky’. Most buildings on Earth aren’t that tall, but you can tell you’re in a really big city when you see them.”
“Oh, I see,” she answered, realizing what she was talking about. “We have a few buildings like that in Manehattan and Canterlot. I’ve never heard them called ‘skyscrapers’ though… have you ever been to those places?”
“Um… I’ve been to Manhattan quite a few times, but not Canterlot…”
“That’s certainly interesting. Miss Cheerilee says you write in the same language they use in those places.”
“Wait, I’m confused,” Asher started. “They don’t speak a different language in those places do they?” When Holiday shook her head, the filly continued, “Then how do you come up with two entirely different ways of writing for the same language?”
“Well, Canterlot and Manehattan have more unicorns than most other places, and a lot of them...don’t look very fondly upon other ponies. So because of that, and since they have magic, they can write fancier-looking letters than most ponies can, who have to use their mouths and hooves, to try and separate themselves from other ponies more. At least, that’s how it was explained to me.”
“That… doesn’t make sense to me, and sounds kind of racist, but I’ll accept that explanation.”
“But can you tell me what those other things are, too?” she asked. “Cars and computers?”
“Well, a computer… is going to be difficult to describe, but basically, it’s a box that holds information about everything you could possibly imagine and more. Well, not exactly that, but that’s the simplest way to describe it without getting all complicated.” Holiday opened her mouth to ask about that, but before she could, Asher continued, “As for a car, that’s just a machine you use to get places faster than walking.”
“Like a train?”
“Not exactly a train, but in essence- wait, you ponies have trains here? Like, with engines and everything?”
“Well, yes... it’s how we’re able to travel hundreds of miles without walking.”
Asher stared blankly at that answer before responding, “I’m not- I’m not going to question it. That doesn’t make any sense, but whatever… achoo! Achoo! ”
“Are you feeling sick at all, sweetie?” the mare asked as she put a hoof to her forehead. “I feel like you’re sneezing quite a bit…”
“I don’t know…” she answered. “I thought I was just allergic to something at school, but I think I might be… I don’t feel sick though.”
“Your forehead feels really warm to me… Why don’t we see if those two are done in the bathroom yet so we can eat dinner and have you take a bath and then lie down?”
Just like I promised her earlier, I was in the bathtub after dinner, laying on my back in the water and staring at the ceiling. I really didn’t feel that bad, although I was starting to think that little by little I didn’t feel that well. However, laying in the warm water certainly helped how I felt.
I spent most of the few minutes I was in there trying to decide if I was doing the right thing, letting her call me a boy. I mean, I was a boy, but that was the keyword. Was. If I was still considered one now, I didn’t know, but I did know I certainly didn’t look like one; all of these ponies regarded me as a girl, and if God brought me here and made me a girl, then I couldn’t just go around trying to subvert that, could I? Or was it bad to be letting them refer to me as a girl so often and not trying to correct them? Did it matter at all to Him? I didn’t know, but really wished I did. However, I decided that, for now, I would keep asserting myself as a boy when I could.
“Lord,” I prayed, “please, whatever your will is, please let that be your will, and I ask you to help me follow what your will is to the best of my ability.”
With that, I dried myself off and headed to Scootaloo’s room, starting to sniffle a bit as I laid down in her bed. It was a quiet few minutes I had alone before she and Sweetie Belle returned.
“So what do you wanna do, Asher?” the orange pegasus asked immediately as the two entered, jumping into the bed. “We can stay up late and tell stories and play games and read books-”
“Yeah! We have all weekend! We don’t have to go back to school until Tuesday!” Sweetie Belle added.
“I don’t know…” I responded, realizing that the two had been mostly asking me what I wanted to do. “What do you guys want to do? Because I was thinking about just going to sleep for the night…”
“You should tell us a story!” they said together, Sweetie Belle continuing, “You said you’re not a pony, so you should have a bunch of cool stories!”
“I mean, I don’t know…” I trailed off. “I’m kind of… boring honestly…”
“You’re saying you're an alien from another world, and you’re boring ?”
“Well, I mean… I’m sorry… I could tell you stories about my job I guess?”
“You have a job?”
“Yeah,” I answered. “I’m a manager in a restaurant… I guess there’s- achoo! - stories there? Like, one time, this lady got so mad at us that we messed up her order, that she asked to speak to me just so she could throw her sandwich in my face.”
“Wait, she threw food in your face because you messed it up?” Scootaloo asked, seeming surprised.
“Yeah,” I responded, smiling a little bit. “We didn't do it on purpose or anything, but customers where I work are like that. We had a guy who threatened to beat up one of my employees because his order was wrong even though the police were standing right behind him in line.” I chuckled, continuing, “He couldn’t believe it when he was being arrested because the guy pressed charges on him. Or there was the lady who honestly thought we were a bank and pulled up to the window trying to cash a check.”
The two of them laughed a little bit at that, Sweetie Belle saying, “Tell us more stories!”
"Well, there was the time..."
“Do you hear that, Lofty?” Holiday asked, looking up from her book for a moment, listening to the fillies giggle in the room across from them. “It sounds like they’re laughing in there, and I think I can hear Asher laughing with them.”
“That’s good,” Lofty responded, yawning as she did so. “It seems like she’s getting settled in. Oh, did you talk to her yet?”
“I did, and from it, there were… a few things.”
“Like what?”
“Well… first, I think she’s getting sick. She said she doesn’t feel sick, but she was sneezing a lot, and I think she might have a slight fever, so if we can, I think we should buy her some medication tomorrow.”
“I can try and pick up something for her. What are the other things?”
“Well, the main other thing is that… she really seems convinced that she’s from another world and that she’s a boy, so… I told her I would call her a boy in private.” She watched Lofty scrunch up her face at that, and quickly continued, “Now, before you tell me it’s a bad idea-”
“I wasn’t going to say that.”
“-it was the first time I actually saw her smile and laugh since we met her. It looked like it made her genuinely happy, and I really think it brightened her mood overall.”
“I understand…”
“But?”
“But nothing,” Lofty answered. “I just think that… well… I mean, I don’t know… I still think she needs an actual therapist or something. She’s kind of… not right. Like, she's always... I don't know. She's just a little bit... off. Do you actually think she thinks she’s a boy?”
“I can’t say for sure, but she definitely seems insecure about something… I did steer the conversation in the ‘who does she like’ direction, and she was kind of aggressive in saying she didn’t like fillies, which is why I was kind of thinking that…”
“I know where you’re going with that, and it makes sense,” Lofty commented. “We did say she was probably from Canterlot, right? Or Manehattan? They are more… uptight and traditional in those places, so she could’ve been told it’s not okay…”
“But anyway, I just don’t like seeing her so… I don’t know. She sometimes looks like she’s feeling hopeless to me, and I really don’t like seeing that, so I told her I would call her a boy in private, when it’s just me and her, at least for a little while.”
“Well, those fillies didn’t clean up after themselves,” Twilight muttered as she entered, rolling her eyes at the state of the library. It wasn’t really that big of a mess, only a few books that weren’t put away, but it still frustrated her to see.
“Spike!” she called before making her way over to the tables to see what it was they were looking over. She squinted at the books that still lay open, quickly reading the titles of the pages they were looking at and noticing they were all about the upcoming Summer Sun Celebration. Her instinct was to just write it off as curious school foals interested in the upcoming holiday, but she did notice that the grey filly she saw yesterday was here with them. She frowned, thinking to herself for a minute before deciding that it probably wasn’t a coincidence. She only saw her for a few seconds, but in those few seconds, Twilight automatically thought she was very strange. She was certain that this was just the kind of ‘interesting’ pony Princess Celestia would want to know about.
“Spiiiiike!” she called again, before turning around to see the dragon standing behind her. “Take a letter,” she instructed.
Pounding Head And Heavy Heart
Celestia dropped her student's letter to the side as she sat on her bed, having just lowered the sun. She was… she didn’t know. Nervous wasn’t quite the word, but she was a bit worried. Twilight was going to be her successor. She had no doubt about that. But even as sure as she was, she didn’t want random events potentially interfering with that.
She sighed to herself, debating what she should do. Maybe go down to Ponyville herself and see the filly? Take her back to Canterlot and… no. That wasn’t a good idea. She wasn’t scheduled to be in Ponyville until the day of the Summer Sun Celebration, and she didn’t want to worry her subjects by just dragging some random foal off with her. Besides, it was only one pony her pupil described, and there were thousands of ponies in Ponyville, and hundreds of cities in Equestria. Who was to say that this was the pony giving her that worried feeling she had? That the one who gave it to her was even in Ponyville at all?
“My heart is to say, of course,” the princess sighed to herself, laying in her bed. Whoever it was probably didn’t even intentionally want to cause trouble. It certainly didn’t feel that way to Celestia. But intentional or not, she didn’t want anything coming in between her and her plan for her student.
“Oh, what do I do about this?” she asked herself silently. “Just let things play out how they be? Leave things up to chance?”
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to relax herself. Things would be fine. Things would work out. Things always worked out. Besides, it was early. It was best to not get into the middle of things and inadvertently cause trouble she didn’t intend to. She would be there during the Summer Sun Celebration, during her sister’s return, and get a chance to see her for herself. There wasn’t any reason to get worked up…
Although it might not hurt to just take a quick look at her before then if she could...
“Asher?” Lofty whispered. “Can you sit up for me, sweetie?”
I shut my already closed eyes tighter at her voice, shaking my head slightly, which only made it pound worse. I felt absolutely terrible , so much worse right then than I felt when I went to sleep.
“Please?” she asked me, whispering a bit louder. “Just for a little bit so I can take a look at you?”
“No…” I whispered back hoarsley, tearing up a little bit. I hated being sick. I could never stand it, not before, and not now. I got sick a lot when I was a kid, and it always made me more… emotional , which wasn’t something I liked being. If I had to pick between being sick and injuring myself, I would pick the latter every time.
“I just want to go back to sleep…” I whispered, turning my head away from her, feeling like I was sweating under my fur.
“I know, but I just want to make sure your fever isn’t too high,” she responded as she gently lifted me up. I kept my eyes closed, but even still I could tell there was sunlight making its way through the windows, and it was hurting my head to being facing towards.
“What time is it?” I asked as I carefully opened my eyes to see Lofty holding me, Holiday standing behind her as she did so.
“It’s almost noon, dear,” she answered as she stuck a thermometer in my mouth. “But it’s okay. We’ll let you get back to sleep soon, okay? Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle are outside right now so they don’t get sick, too.”
“They might already… achoo! Ow…”
I put my hooves on my head with that, unable to stop myself from crying quietly because of how badly the sneeze made my head pound. I didn’t know what I had, but it felt horrible, and I desperately wished I would get over it quickly.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Holiday told me as she made her way over and stroked my mane, causing me to wince.
“Please don’t touch my head…” I responded, still whispering.
“Oh, I’m sorry. It’ll be okay. After Miss Lofty gets your temperature, we’ll let you go back to sleep, okay?”
“I’ve got it. It’s… one hundred and two point eight… that’s… kind of high…”
“Do you think we should take her to the doctor?” Holiday asked.
“I really just want to go to sleep,” I whispered tiredly, sadly, sniffling as I did so.
“I know you do, Sweetie,” Lofty told me as she moved up to pet my mane, “but we want to make sure you’re okay. We’ll let you go to sleep once we get back, alright?”
“I don’t know why,” I complained as I lay back down gently. “It’s not like that doctor will believe me. She didn’t believe me before, she’ll probably just think I’m lying about being sick now…” I coughed weakly, then continued, “I really don’t like being sick…”
“I know you don’t like it,” Lofty told me, “but that’s why we need to go see the doctor, so they can make you all better. The sooner we leave, the sooner we can get back.”
“I’d really rather not,” I whispered, trying to close my eyes again before I was picked up.
“Come on, Asher,” Holiday said. “We need to get going, missy… er, I mean, mister.”
Lofty and Holiday watched as the filly gave a small smile as she weakly grabbed onto the latter’s neck. The mare gave a smirk to her wife as they both saw her reaction, before quickly setting back off for Ponyville General for the second time that week. As they walked, the two whispered to each other, Asher falling back asleep as they did so.
“She really actually likes being called a colt?” Lofty asked.
“I told you,” Holiday responded. “I know it’s weird, but like I said, it’s just about the only time I’ve seen her smile.”
“It’s very weird, but… I mean… I guess… I don’t have any problem with it, but you know she needs to see a psychiatrist, or a therapist. But I mean… I guess she really won’t be with us for too long anyway…” With that thought, Lofty scowled and looked at the ground.
“What are you thinking about?” Holiday asked her carefully.
“I’m really not too fond of her going back into Cheerilee’s hooves. I mean, we both know she doesn’t really take her seriously. Heck, Asher knows she doesn’t take her seriously. It’s apparent she doesn’t like her, or the nurses she saw from what it sounds like.”
“I know but…”
“I’m almost compelled to have her stay with us, but you know we can’t do that, and she certainly can’t stay with Scootaloo, what with how often your brother is away. Anyway, it’s a conversation for later. When we can, we do have to talk to that teacher. I want to have a serious conversation with her.”
It wasn’t long before the two of them made their way into the hospital, Holiday directing them over to nurse Tenderheart, intentionally avoiding Redheart.
“Oh my, the poor dear is sick isn’t she?” the nurse said as the two set the filly on the examination table, causing her to wake up and start to cough.
“She is,” Lofty explained as she stroked her mane while Asher laid on her stomach, legs tucked underneath her. “We think she was starting to get sick yesterday, although she said she was fine, and she ended up waking up really sick today.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. What kinds of symptoms does she have?” the nurse asked, getting out her stethoscope and starting to examine her.
“Well, she was sneezing a lot, and I think she might have had a cough if I remember right? Her temperature is also really high, one-oh-two point something.”
“Her lungs don’t sound great…” the nurse commented before bending down to quietly ask, “What feels the worst, dear?”
“My head is pounding…” Asher whispered with a sniff, barely audible as she placed her hooves on her head and ears.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Tenderheart told her and touched her mane lightly. "We'll get our doctor in here to magically examine you and see what’s going on, what's making you sick.”
“I don’t like magic…” the filly said quietly. “I don’t want magic…”
“Aww, I know it’s scary sweetie, but we need to know what’s wrong so we can make you all better,” Tenderheart told her before looking back up at Holiday and Lofty. “Let me go in and get the doctor. He should be here in just a minute.”
As she promised, it was only a minute before the doctor came in, a tan-colored horse with glasses, a brown mane, and a lab coat. Asher had already fallen back to sleep by the time he got in, Holiday gently petting her back.
“Ah, I was told the little filly doesn’t like magic,” he said with a small smile, “but it looks like she’s already back to sleep, so it shouldn’t be an issue.” With that, he stared at Asher intensely and concentrated, enveloping the filly in his blue magic as he looked around her. It was only a few seconds that he looked around before he raised his eyebrows, seeming confused.
“What is it?” Holiday asked as she grabbed her wife’s hoof.
“It’s… well, hmmm…” the unicorn trailed off, staring at her again as he looked inside of her. “Has she gotten all of her vaccinations?
“Well, um, we’re not really sure,” Lofty told him. “Right now she’s just being fostered with us until we find out where her guardians are… but why?”
“Well, it might be hard to believe, but it’s looking like... actually, we're going to test her blood just to make sure I'm not seeing anything incorrectly.” Then he sighed, groaning, “We’re gonna have to make sure the whole town is up to date on their vaccinations if it comes back for diphtheria…”
Author's Note
I apologize for the short chapter :c
I opened my eyes slowly and saw that I was still laying on the examination table, Lofty and Holiday standing with me as the latter pet my mane and back.
“Wha… we’re still here?” I asked tiredly as I carefully turned my head to the side and laid on my cheek. “What are we doing here? I thought we’d be back home by now…”
“I know, sweetie,” Holiday told me, “but the doctor is just going to see what’s wrong with you. He should be back any minute now with some medicine that will make you feel all better, and then we’ll take you back home and get you to bed. Does that sound nice?” It absolutely did sound nice, and I found myself wishing I was back in bed right then.
“Lord,” I said aloud, too tired to try and keep the prayer in my head, or to even try to close my eyes, “please let this sickness go away. I pray that your will is your will, and I pray that you let this sickness go away. Amen.”
I watched Holiday and Lofty give me a look, but it seemed they decided not to comment on it, and instead went back to petting me as I stared listlessly at the door. I’d been there… what, four days? And yet I was already sick, which made sense to me, seeing as I wasn’t vaccinated for anything and was in an entirely new body that didn’t exist before and had a completely brand new immune system. I could only hope that whatever this was wasn’t serious or that they had something to give to me for it.
“This is going to last for days isn’t it?” I thought to myself, still staring blankly at the door, doing my very best to keep my emotions in check for once. “Wait, what day even is it? It was… Tuesday when I got here? I should’ve been at work… I wonder if they have someone working for me. Maybe they think I just up and quit after only calling in one day in the last three years… I wonder if the police are searching for me. I hope I at least had the lights off in my apartment. I can’t remember if I did though…”
“It’s going to be okay, Asher,” Holiday whispered as she continued to pet me. “You’ll get better soon.”
“I hope so,” I told her quietly, finally closing my eyes because the light hurt my head too much. “I don’t like being sick. You probably just think I’m a sick little girl, don’t you… Achoo! Ow...”
“No, I think you’re a sick little colt,” she responded gently, “one who I know will start to feel better if sh- err, he just gives it some time.”
“Lord, I thank you for at least- I mean, for in your grace, letting me stay with these two,” I silently added to my prayer, smiling at her words for just a moment before frowning again at my headache.
“It’ll get better sweetie,” she continued. “I promise.”
"I just want to go home," I told her tiredly. "I don't want to be here. I want to go home..."
I didn’t know how long it was before someone else finally came in, but it felt like a long time. When someone did enter, I opened my eyes again to see that it was the same brown pony from before, this time carrying in his magic six or seven shots of what I could only assume to be vaccinations I needed.
He could clearly see my expression drop at the sight of them, because he immediately started apologizing as he came up to me, saying, “I’m sorry. I really don’t want to have to do this to you, but from what your blood is telling us, you’ll spend the next few months being sick if we don’t get you up to date on your vaccinations.”
“I know…” I sighed, knowing that I sounded like I was about to cry because of it as I closed my eyes again.
“I promise this won’t take long dear,” he told me, starting to prepare the first one and rub me with what I could only assume were alcohol wipes. “Would you rather have them all in the same leg, or just spread out over your body?”
“Just put them all in one spot,” I responded, yawning again as I put my hooves on my ears, wishing my head would stop pounding. "I really don't care at this point. I really hate being sick..."
“You two are up to date on your vaccinations aren’t you?” Doctor Horse asked as he quickly stuck the first shot in, Asher barely flinching at the pain, slightly grateful that it took her mind off her head even a little bit.
“Holiday and I?” Lofty asked back. “Yes, and Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo… might be? You would have to ask their parents though.”
“That’s good, because she does have diphtheria, unfortunately… has she been sneezing and coughing in school and such? How long has she been sick?”
“As far as we can tell, it was only just yesterday she started to sneeze and cough and feel sick. She told us it was just allergies before, and she didn't seem that bad and wasn't complaining yesterday, but... yeah.”
“Well, we might not need too much medication then… we have a stack of orders already sent out to Canterlot, and it should be coming in by train in just a few hours. Luckily we made a cure centuries ago for a situation like this… heh, imagine if this was mumps though. That would be a nightmare . Not that this isn’t serious, but as they say, it can always be worse.”
“Well, it’s certainly a good thing there's medicine coming in.”
“Yup, enough for her and all her classmates and about a hundred other ponies if need be,” he explained as he concentrated on making sure all the shots were administered. “Along with about five hundred vaccines just to be safe and make sure nopony else gets sick. We don’t like to play around with the big ones like diphtheria. Her classmates might not like her after this though, but I’m sure they’d prefer it to being sick along with her.”
He paused, sighing as he continued, “Anyway, I guess we also need to send a letter to Mayor Mare to make sure nopony tries to come to town for the holiday.”
“Wait, you’re going to cancel the Summer Sun Celebration because of this?” Holiday asked, surprised.
“Well, not cancel it. Can’t really do that, seeing as it’s Celestia who raises the sun, but… well, this year, the actual celebration portion of it that’s supposed to happen in Ponyville will have to be restricted to just Ponyville residents, unfortunately. Can’t chance anypony getting sick, after all.”
“Great,” the filly whispered, causing the other three ponies to jump as they almost forgot she was there. “I guess I ruined an entire holiday for a whole country.”
Celestia had finally convinced herself that she would go out and had just stood up from her throne when she was interrupted by one of her servants.
“Princess Celestia,” Raven Inkwell said respectfully, bowing in her presence.
“Arise, my little pony,” she commanded, then smiled and, in a much friendlier voice, continued, “You know you aren’t expected to bow before me.”
“You know I will anyway,” she smiled back as she looked up at her, standing straight up again. “It’s a matter of respect to me, and if anypony deserves it, it’s you, Princess.”
“I do appreciate how you feel, Raven, but I assure you, it’s not needed. Now I must ask, what brings you to my ear?”
“I thought you should know,” she started politely, “that there’s a report of somepony with diphtheria coming out of Ponyville. We actually just received a request for medication and vaccinations that are going on their way now.”
“Ponyville…” Celestia trailed off thoughtfully. “I just sent my pupil off to Ponyville to prepare for the Summer Sun Celebration, and was on the verge of heading out there myself. Do we know who it is who contracted it? How long has it been that they’ve been sick?”
“From what I’ve been told, it’s a little filly, and her guardians say she just became sick yesterday. I’ve also been told that, while many ponies might have been exposed, because it’s been caught early, there shouldn’t be too many cases, and the cases there are should remain localized. However, they are planning on closing off the town for the holiday.”
“I see…” Celestia said, thinking about Twilight Sparkle’s letter from yesterday. A silver filly with a golden mane who was curious about the Summer Sun Celebration and was acting strangely. It sounded like this was the filly she was looking for, although the fact that she mentioned that she already had guardians did mean that she couldn’t just take her off to Canterlot like she wanted, especially if she was sick... well, maybe. That would be something to consider once she met the foal. She wasn't quite sure about that yet. Still, she wanted to at least meet her and see if she was somepony to be worried about, considering she was already causing chaos and starting to mess up her plans, perhaps inadvertently, but doing so nonetheless. Once she did, she could figure out what to do with her from there.
“Raven,” Celestia told her after a minute of silence, “please make sure to reschedule any events I have planned for today. I believe I’ll be taking a look around Ponyville.”
“Stay well, Princess,” Raven responded politely.
It was a few hours before Asher and her guardians were allowed to head home, feeling a bit better after being given some medicine, although her leg was aching from how many shots she was given. She almost wished she asked for them to be spread around, but she figured that’d just make all of them hurt a bit when she flexed them. Besides, she could live with it, seeing as it would prevent her from catching something worse later.
She watched the small town as she rode on Lofty’s back, doing her best to avoid coughing into her mane as she did so. She had to admit, it was a nice, little town and looked very friendly, although she would still much rather be at work than be sick and a pony. And a child. And a girl. It was annoying, although at that particular moment, she couldn’t muster up much strength to be too upset about it.
“At least they’re starting to believe me,” she thought. “Or maybe at least humoring me, not like that nurse and that teacher. What am I even supposed to be doing here? This sucks…”
Maybe she wasn’t supposed to be doing anything at all. Maybe she should’ve been looking at this as an opportunity. An opportunity to do what, she didn’t know, but perhaps at least considering the thought that she was gifted something would make her feel better.
“Makes for a crummy gift though,” she muttered silently, before catching herself. “No, stop that. Don’t ever think like that. Any gift is a gift from God, and should be accepted graciously. Besides, you’re not even supposed to be questioning this anymore, Ash, remember? Whatever His will is, it will be His will, and that’s it.”
With that thought, she cleared her mind for the rest of the trip home, sinking into the bed once she was set in it.
“Are you feeling up to eating something?” Lofty asked once she was set down. "None of us have had anything to eat all day, and I know I’m hungry.”
“I’m fine for now,” she answered, her voice still quiet and weak. “But can I take a bath? That usually helps me feel better…”
“Absolutely. Do you think you’ll be okay on your own?”
“Yes, I’ll be fine, but if you could carry me in there, that’d be nice. I can do the rest from there though.”
“Princess Celestia!” Twilight started as she opened the door to Golden Oaks Library, coming face to face with her mentor. “I- what are you doing here so early? The Summer Sun Celebration isn’t until the twenty-first! Is this about that filly I was telling you about? Do you think she has something to do with Nightmare Moon’s return? Should we-”
“Be at ease, Twilight,” Celestia told her calmly, putting a hoof on her shoulder. “I’m only here to ask about the filly you saw, and more importantly, to check on preparations and make sure you’re finding friends as I requested.”
“The planning is going well, Princess,” she responded quickly, “but apparently somepony got sick and now they’re considering canceling the Summer Sun Celebration! I’m pretty sure I saw that filly sneezing yesterday, and wouldn’t be surprised if-”
“Twilight, please, be at ease,” Celestia said again, this time with a bit of force in her voice. “Although it might be closed off to only Ponyville residents this year, I assure you, the Summer Sun Celebration will proceed as it always has, and would like you to continue preparing for the holiday.”
“But what about that foal? And what about Nightmare Moon?” the purple pony asked. “She and her friends were looking up stuff about the Summer Sun Celebration, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence. She probably knows something about Nightmare Moon's return, and might even have something to do with it!”
The alicorn chuckled at her student, saying, “You really do need to get your head out of all those books you read. I’m only here to check on my little ponies, and since she’s the one who got sick first, I’d like to visit her first to make sure she’s doing well.”
“I really think you should-”
“Twilight?” Celestia interrupted, raising her eyebrow. Her pupil was confused for a second, before deflating, realizing what she was telling her.
“Be at ease,” she muttered, looking at her hooves, disappointed and slightly annoyed, even despite the fact that it was Celestia of all ponies.
“I’m sure you’re doing well in the task I’ve given you, and I’m sure you’ll find many friends available to you here if you take the time to look for them. I trust that you’ll follow my directions to the best of your ability, and look forward to seeing you again during the holiday.”
“Yes, princess,” Twilight huffed as she left, leaving her alone with her thoughts. “Maybe it won’t be all bad… but I know that filly has to have something to do with Nightmare Moon’s return, or at least knows something about it. Is she planning something? How can Celestia expect me to make friends at a time like this? Ugh…”
Meeting With The Princess
I took time to relax as I slipped into the bathtub, the hot water feeling nice against my coat as I closed my eyes and rested my head on the back edge of the tub. It felt soothing, relaxing, and the quiet of the room helped my head stop pounding so much. I always felt better when I took a bath or shower when I was sick, and it seemed this was already helping me then.
I let my mouth go below the water, making sure to keep my nose in the air while I rested my eyes. However, the next thing I knew I was drifting off as the water soaked into my fur, then inhaling water into my lungs and feeling my nose burn as I violently coughed, my headache coming back worse than before. I leaned over the side of the tub to cough up the liquid in my lungs, sneezing painfully as I did so, and it seemed as though just a second later the two women, mares , were rushing to my aid to try to do what they could to help, patting my back with a hoof as I tried to force the water out.
“Are you okay?” they asked worriedly. “What happened?”
“I started to fall asleep and breathed in some water,” I explained in between coughs, the tears springing back into my eyes as I shivered, honestly not caring anymore about the fact that I sounded like a little girl with as miserable as I felt. “I just want to go to sleep.”
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” Holiday told me, hugging me close. “Let's get you all dried off and put to bed, okay?”
“Okay,” I whispered back.
The princess took her time to get to her destination, opting to follow her instinct rather than ask about the filly to the mayor of Ponyville. As she walked, she stopped to smile and greet her star-struck subjects, less numerous throughout the town than she would have expected to see. But then she remembered hearing about the case of diphtheria the filly had and figured that her ponies were already advised of the situation and were staying in their homes out of caution. Still though, there were more than a few out and about, and each one that saw her stopped to greet her enthusiastically, and she made sure to return each and every one with a greeting of her own.
The house she went to was on the edge of town, with no other ponies out near it luckily, and, after doing a quick check to make sure no creature had followed her, lightly rapped on the door with her hoof, adjusting her wings and making sure her crown was still in place correctly.
“Coming!” a voice called from far within the home, taking a few minutes to get to the door as Celestia listened carefully to the sound of their hooves against the floor. She stood at attention waiting patiently for them, and gave a kind smile as she saw an older pegasus mare open the door.
“Eep!” Lofty squeaked out, falling back on her rear as she stared up at the very last pony she expected to see show up to her door. The white alicorn was absolutely intimidating to stare up at, and despite her smile, Lofty half expected to be escorted to Tartarus for some unknown crime she might have committed.
“P-p-p-princess…” Lofty was able to get out before Celestia spoke to her, her voice calm and gentle.
“Is it alright if I stepped into your home?” she asked politely. The mare who was asked, in her confusion, quickly shook her head, before realizing what she was doing and furiously nodding, crawling backward on her back as the alicorn stepped in, acting as though she were some fearsome creature.
“It’s quite a beautiful home you have, my little pony,” Celestia commented politely as she stepped inside, the mare finally standing up again as she stepped back away from her unconsciously, keeping her distance. “Very beautiful,” she continued. “I wish I had a home quite as nice as this one.”
“C-c-c-can I m-m-make you some t-tea?” Lofty stuttered out, her wings stretched out as she stood defensively, as though Celestia would strike at any time. The question earned a chuckle from the princess as she shook her head.
“That’s very considerate of you, but no thank you,” she responded. “I’m actually here to meet with a little filly who I believe is in your care. She’s silver coated and has a golden mane from what I hear. May I ask if she’s around?”
“A-a-asher?” Lofty asked. “She-she-she was t-telling the truth about n-not being a filly?”
Celestia giggled at that to keep her calm, dodging the question as she explained, “I got word from Canterlot that filly of yours has diphtheria, and wanted to pay her a personal visit because of it, especially since this year’s Summer Sun Celebration will be restricted to just Ponyville. Would it be okay if I met privately with her?”
“Uh… uh, yeah! Yes! Yes, princess, of course you can!”
“If you would be so kind as to lead me to her, miss…?” Lofty ignored her request for a name as she already turned to call to her wife up the stairs.
“Holiday! Uh, some-somepony is here to meet- to see, Asher! I’m- I’m bringing her up with me!”
“Okay!” I heard Holiday call as I pressed my hooves to my ears, the pony, the mare , still drying me off. I didn’t know what it was about, except for hearing Lofty say that someone wanted to meet with me. I had no idea who it could be, and was too tired and aching to try and think of who it was.
“It’s okay, I’m sure it won’t take long,” Holiday whispered to me as she rubbed the towel over me. “It’s probably a doctor sent here to make sure you’re okay. We’ll let you get right back to sleep once they’re done.”
With that, she set the towel in the hamper as she motioned me to follow her into the hall, the two of us able to hear the sounds of footsteps coming up the stairs. It was only a few seconds before the two ponies came into view, but Holiday gasped first anyway, followed by an involuntary squeak from me as I stepped back fearfully from just the sheer size of this pony. She was more than a head taller than Lofty who was in front of her, more like a shoulder or two taller from what it looked like, and impossibly large, her head looking as though it was just inches from the ceiling. She had on what looked to be gold plated armor on her feet, as well as a necklace and crown that was encrusted with purple jewels, one that she was somehow able to place into her hair against all odds. Her mane and tail were both colored like a rainbow, although only half of one, as it was largely pastel blues and greens as well as a bit of pink that made it up. The hair she had on her head and tail both somehow flowed constantly in the air, being carried along by some non-existent breeze. She also had a long, very long horn like a unicorn and wings that stretched out, seemingly with grandeur, as she placed her eyes on me.
I couldn’t help but take another step back in fear as I stared back at her. I could only assume this was Princess Celestia.
Celestia smiled kindly at the filly, happy to have found her, doing her best to ease the otherworlder’s fears as the frightened pony stepped back again and almost tripped into the bathtub. If it weren’t for the overwhelming sense of anxiousness the mare got from seeing her, she would’ve thought she were just any other foal. However, the feeling alone she got from her told her otherwise.
Despite this, she kept her body and mind calm, portraying her usual friendliness and gentleness as best she could. She didn’t want the filly to be frightened or afraid, even in the face of her own nervousness and worry.
“Hello there, my little pony,” Celestia started gently, taking a few steps forward and leaning down to put her face close to the filly’s. “Can I ask what your name is?”
“Ashley...” the filly squeaked out quietly, almost inaudible, staring back at the princess as her heart beat quickly like a frightened rabbit.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Ashley,” the princess answered back with a smile. “Is it okay if I spoke to you alone?” She shook her head quickly at that question, looking completely terrified of her, and Celestia continued, “Do you know who I am?” With that she nodded and took another step back only to trip and start falling into the bathtub, being caught by the mare’s magic. This caused her to squeak and freeze up completely, unused to the sensation around her, watching as her body was briefly trapped in the golden glow of her magic before he was set upright once again. She stood absolutely frozen as the princess stood smiling, starting to get a bit concerned about the look on her face.
“Are you alright, Ashley?” Celestia asked to no answer. It made her drop her own smile as she looked at the filly expectantly. She turned back to see Holiday and Lofty only starting on at her, looks of surprise and curiosity painted on their faces before turning back to Asher.
“Ashley?” She started again, taking a small step forward and watching as she tensed up fearfully at her movement. Still, despite this, the princess leaned her head down and used her nose to nuzzle Asher’s. Even despite being a strange creature from another world, she still looked like an adorable, if scared, little filly, and the alicorn couldn’t help but treat her as such. It caused Asher to scrunch up her face at the gesture, earning a smile from the princess.
“Why do ponies like touching my nose so much?” Asher asked quietly as she used a hoof to rub it, seeming a bit more settled and snapped out of her terror to Celestia now. She giggled at the cute sight before speaking.
“Is it alright if I spoke with you, ma’am?” Celestia asked again, watching as she blushed and nodded this time. “Is it okay if we did so privately?” the mare asked.
“I- I guess…” she got out. “I- I wanted to find you and speak with you before… but, um…”
“I’d quite love to meet you and know more about you,” she said, “if that’s okay with you. Shall we speak in your room?”
“Princess Celestia is in my house ?” Scootaloo practically screamed in shock as she and Sweetie Belle stood stupefied, staring at her and Asher walking into their room.
“Yes, she is,” Holiday told them as she used a hoof to direct the two of them into another room. “However, she wants to speak to her alone, and I’d like you two to leave them be.”
“Whoa…” Scootaloo trailed off as she stared at the door, Sweetie Belle jumping in to finish the thought she was about to start.
“She really is a colt and an alien like she said, isn’t she?”
“Now, uh, I don’t know about that, you two,” Lofty laughed nervously. “She’s actually here because Asher has diphtheria and wants to make sure she’s getting better. Speaking of which, did you two get all of your shots?”
“What do you think she’s doing in Ponyville?” Scootaloo asked her friend, ignoring the mare.
“I don’t know. Maybe she’s here to-”
“Girls. Did you get all of your shots?”
“Uhhh… yeah, I think so,” Scootaloo answered, shaking her head and looking back to her guardian.
“My parents took me to get all of mine a few weeks ago."
“Good, good,” Lofty sighed in relief. “So you shouldn’t get sick if she keeps staying in your room-”
Just as she got the words out, Celestia came back out the door with the filly on her back, who once again looked absolutely terrified as she clenched her hooves around her neck as though she would fall off at any moment.
“I’m sorry to have bothered you all,” the alicorn said, “but if it’s alright, I’d like to take this young filly to Canterlot to be treated for her sickness.”
Author's Note
Asher does not like heights.
I really wished I had done something besides nod my head when she talked to me, because the next I knew we were flying high above the clouds, my arms wrapped around her neck as I practically strangled her as we flew. This was higher than before, so much higher than when I flew on that other pony’s back, Rainbow Dash. I absolutely hated it, and kept my face buried in her still flowing mane as she flew me off to… wherever we were going. Her castle in Canterlot from what she told me.
She said she wanted to speak to me, but she really only asked me about three or four questions before she decided we should leave, all of them yes or no.
“Have you always been a pony?” Head shake . “You entered Equestria on Tuesday I presume?” Nod . “Are you meant to be an adult?” Nod. “Would you be against discussing this elsewhere, in my castle in Canterlot?” Head shake.
With that, we were off, Celestia somehow levitating me off the ground and placing me on her back, explaining to Holiday and Lofty that she was taking me with her to treat me. With the words, she spread her wings and took off into the sky, causing me to gasp at the sudden speed while tears filled my eyes from a combination of the wind in my face, the horrible pounding in my head, and the extreme height we were at. I really didn’t like the height. I didn’t like any of it, from how high we were to her using magic to lift me up to how sick I was to… everything. Once again, I really, really wished I was at home again.
“What if she offers a way to go home?” I asked myself as I kept my eyes firmly in her mane to avoid seeing how high we were. “Do I say yes? Can I really do that if magic is involved? Can I do that if God wants me to be here? Oh, Lord, why is this happening? I know I keep asking, but I just really wish I knew why...”
“Ashley?” Celestia started, her voice a bit hoarse. “If you would loosen your grip just a bit? Even though you are but a filly and I, a princess, you still have earth pony strength and are beginning to choke me.”
“I- I- I don’t like heights…” was all I managed to squeak out, somehow tightening my grip around her in the process.
“I assure you, you will not be dropped,” she told me as she turned her head behind her and looked at me. “Perhaps you can wrap your arms around my waist.”
Her horn lit up with a golden glow, the glow working around my arms as she somehow forced my hands- hooves - loose, my breaths becoming deeper and faster as she gently placed them at her sides. Once she did, I immediately tightened my grip again, feeling like my hooves would shatter if I clenched any harder.
“Be at ease, my little pony,” she told me gently as I looked up for a moment into her purple eyes. “All is well. We will arrive safely.”
“I don’t like this,” I said aloud, half to her, half to myself. “I don’t like any of this. I feel like I was starting to get a little bit comfortable, and now we’re thousands of feet up flying over even the clouds. I just want to be at home. I don’t like this at all.”
“We will see what we can do, my little pony. For now, be calm. We will be in Canterlot shortly.”
Shortly in this case meant staying high in the sky on her back for another good half hour or so, the rest of the trip remaining silent. Once I felt her hooves on the ground, I quickly hopped off her back, somehow landing upright as I did so, wiping the tears out of my eyes. Then, when I opened them again, I stepped back in surprise at the sight before me.
She didn’t lie when she said we would be going to her castle, and it certainly was a castle before me. However, this wasn’t a traditional grey castle like you’d see in medieval Europe. This building was gigantic , colored white and gold and purple with multiple spires jutting into the sky. We looked like we were on a mountain, one that shot straight up into the clouds with a waterfall pouring down it somehow, the main part of the building being built on top of it. Perhaps cliff was a better word to describe it, because about half of the building was built right into the cliff face and about a third jutted off of it. Just from the outside, it looked like a crazy sequence of hallways and rooms and twists and turns, the kind of building it would be incredibly easy to get lost in. It looked like something right out of a TV show or a fairy tale.
“Come along now, Ashley,” the pony said as my mouth hung open just from the sight of it. “We’ve much to discuss now. Although, first…”
“First what?” I asked before I saw her horn light up, then watched as she pointed it towards the sun and forced it to lower, going from high in the middle of the sky to below the horizon in just a few minutes as the moon came up with it. It was a sight that literally took my breath away, and I had to look away from it after a little while, freaking myself out too much after a certain amount of time. Just like the first and second day I was here, I was starting to get filled with the overwhelming sense that this wasn’t real, that this couldn’t be happening. I had to close my eyes and sit down to calm myself down watching it.
“Is something wrong, little filly?” she asked me politely, the concern in her voice clear.
“How- how did you do that?” I stuttered out, my eyes still closed as I sat in the grass. “How did you do that? With magic?”
“I am the ruler of Equestria,” she explained with a kind smile as she looked down at me. “It is my job to make sure my little ponies are given light in the day and darkness at night.”
“Oh, this is too- I don't like this at all... God, why is this happening?”
I debated to myself whether or not I should ask the next question, knowing it was a completely ridiculous question to ask. Even so, I still knew I had to ask just based on what I had seen from her and heard from other ponies, and was afraid of what the answer might be. I almost didn’t want to ask as a result, and really had to gather myself to even consider the fact that there might be even a one percent chance of her answering yes to what I was planning on asking. Despite this, I took a breath and mustered up the strength to ask what I knew I needed to.
“You, um… are you, uh- you’re not…" I paused to close my eyes and take another breath before continuing, "You're not God, are you? I mean, I don’t think you are, but, um…” I couldn’t help but cringe at my question, knowing it was completely ridiculous. If she were, she wouldn’t have needed to ask my name or tell me to loosen my grip. Still, I wanted to ask to get it out of the way right then and there. Besides, even if she answered yes, I had a list of follow-up questions I planned to ask her to prove it.
I watched her chuckle at my words and nervously laughed back as she answered, “You’re not the first to ask that question. Many of my own ponies seem to believe so. But no, I am no deity, even if it seems to others that I am. Although I will admit that I have such aspects in many respects.”
“Oh, good,” I sighed in relief, still cringing a bit. Even if she wasn’t God, I did have a problem that she was comparing herself to Him, even a little bit. It made me incredibly anxious to hear, although I put that to the side right then, relieved that she said no.
“Okay, so then…” I continued, “how did you do that? You just… move the sun? Every day? Have you always done that? Does it not move on its own?”
She let out a genuine laugh at that, explaining, “Despite my age, I cannot claim to have always moved the sun. Before I came about, it took six ponies to move the sun and the moon across the sky each day.”
More relief came from that. She wasn’t all powerful, which was good, I thought.
“Okay, so then why are you saying you have aspects of a- achoo! Ow...”
“Please, my little pony, we’ll have plenty of time to answer your questions. But let us head inside first if we can, before it begins to get cold.”
“She asked if I was a deity?” Celestia thought to herself as the two entered her castle, still able to catch nervous glances coming from Asher’s direction. “Does she think I brought her here?”
The two of them walked through the castle, past the throne room and into the hallway, entering the first room they saw, one with a great view of the mountainside. Asher shuddered at the sight, a sheer dropoff, one that extended what looked to be thousands of feet off the cliff face. Even at night, it was a terrifying view to her.
“This is where you will be staying for the evening, and perhaps tomorrow as well,” Celestia explained as she and the filly walked up to the window to look down the mountain. “I do hope it’s comfortable enough for you.”
“I- achoo! - I don’t like the view… I liked it better with- I mean, I’d rather be staying with Miss Lofty and Holiday…” She couldn't help but blush at the idea that the two of them had grown on her, especially considering her initial reaction to them.
“Hmmm… we can equip you with a better room,” the mare commented, “but that will be a task for later. As well, we shall take you back to Ponyville in due time. For now, however, I would like to inquire about your status.”
“My- my what?”
“Actually, before that, we should have supper served,” she said. “I’ve heard you have been out all day. You must be quite hungry. Is there anything in particular you wish to have?”
“I’m not hungry,” she got out tearfully, unable to stop thinking about how much her head hurt. “I just want to take a nap right now. My nose is still burning and my whole body is aching and… I just want to go to sleep.”
“I see… well then, I shall be back in an hour's time with something prepared for you,” Celestia told her as Asher climbed into bed. “Do rest easily, please.”
“I hope I’m not being too formal…” the princess thought as she watched the filly lay down and almost immediately fall asleep, looking peaceful as she did so. “Where is she from that she knows Ponish? Would she eat pony food? She has to have eaten some before to not be malnourished, but still… she did have canines… hmmm…”
With that, she stepped into the kitchen and decided to have her chefs cook something more akin to what griffons and, in some colder regions, pegasi might eat, fish and leafy greens, as well as a side of flowers, chamomile. She thought it would be a nice enough meal, and figured she should like something on the plate. She even remembered seeing some Canterlot elites eating the very same thing, although it wouldn't be something she would partake in.
With that out of the way, she went to grab a notebook and pen to keep track of the conversation they would have. She knew she really should have told Twilight Sparkle. She would’ve been ecstatic to learn about the filly. However, she had other, more important things to attend to, namely, the Summer Sun Celebration and her sister’s looming return.
Perhaps I should keep her in Ponyville and have her stay with Twilight… it might do each of them good, especially if Twilight can keep a close eye on her and make sure she doesn’t interfere with what I’m planning…”
Much too soon I was being awoken again, although this time it was to the smell of food.
“I did not know what you liked to eat, so I had my chefs prepare fish, rice mixed with spinach, and chamomile flowers.”
“I’m not really that hungry, but it does smell good…”
“It’s best to eat and keep your strength up, so you can fight your illness,” she explained as she floated the plate down to me. “Although uncommon, diphtheria can be quite serious at times.”
“I know that. We get shots for it where I’m from, too. But thank you for the meal.” With that, I closed my eyes in silent prayer before starting on the meal, ignoring the curious look the lady, the mare , was sending my way. It was probably the best food I’d eaten since I became a pony. I realized then just how much meat I’d eaten on a daily basis as a human, and took time to appreciate the flavor of the fish, salmon, one of my favorite foods.
“Is it okay if I spoke to you while you ate, ma’am?” she asked politely as I swallowed another bite.
“I’m- I’m a boy…” I trailed off, suddenly embarrassed as I stared at my plate, looking away from her.
“Ah, I’m sorry sir,” she immediately corrected. “Although that is interesting. Worldgates are not known to change one’s gender. Perhaps you’ve always seen yourself as a mare?”
“No, I haven’t, and we’re not starting down that rabbit hole,” I said tiredly. “I’m a boy. I don’t want to be a girl. And I don’t know what a “worldgate” is, but I do know that it was God who brought me here.”
“Ah, that’s the deity you believed I was, isn’t it?” she figured out. “Where are they now? Here in Equestria?”
“God’s not a physical being,” I explained. “He’s on… another physical plane of existence… it’s like…” I took a moment to think before telling her, “The way it’s been described to me is like a storybook. You can see and affect the people in the story, but the people in the story can’t see or affect you… to put it simply, anyway. It’s more complicated than that, but that’s the gist of it on a very basic level.”
“I see… so if this being brought you here, do you know why so?”
“I- I don’t know. Maybe to teach me a lesson about… why being… not mean, but like… ugh…”
“Yes?”
I continued looking at my plate as I blushed, quickly and quietly answering, “About why being transphobic and homophobic is wrong.” I looked back up at her and saw her tilt her head curiously, quickly adding, “I mean, I’m not sure it’s a coincidence that I’m… in a girl’s body now and I’m staying with those two ladies… never mind.”
“I understand,” she told me as though she were speaking to a child, which made me frown. “Now Ashley-”
“I’m sorry, but it’s- I’m Asher. I know I said Ashley, but I…” I frowned harder, saying again, “It’s Asher, please.”
“Well, Asher,” she started again, “we can see what we can do about these things that have happened to you. Although I must ask where you came from.”
“I’m from a place called Delaware, on Earth,” I told her simply.
“Hmm… Earth… I’ve heard that name before, and I do believe it was one of the places I visited.” She put a hoof to her chin as she looked lost in thought, continuing, “If I’m not mistaken, I believe it was on Star Swirl and I’s restricted worlds list before the mirrors were destroyed…”
“Restricted worlds? Mirrors? What?”
“Nothing for you to be concerned about, Asher,” she told me dismissively as she waved a hoof at me. “Although I don’t believe we’ll be able to send you back quite so easily, if at all. We’ve no worldgates available for us to study, and Star Swirl and I hadn’t put much time into seeing why the mirrors acted the way they acted. I’m certain with enough time we could come up with something, but we’re speaking on the timescale of years or even decades.”
I sighed and closed my eyes at that knowledge. She was effectively saying there was nothing she could do for me, which I had expected, seeing as it was God who brought me here, not me jumping through some portal like she probably thought.
“I’m going to be… no, no. Don’t think like that. I’m supposed to be here since He brought me here. Besides, even if the choice were available, I don’t think He’d want me to mess around with magic and go against His will.”
“I understand,” I told her sadly as I let out a breath, slightly depressed.
“I do appreciate your taking my words well, Asher,” she told me. “Many in your position would not react quite so calmly.”
“Well, it helps that I’ve been here for four days already,” I responded. “And, I mean, if God brought me here, then here is where I’m supposed to be, I guess… I’m just… I don't know, a little bit depressed... wait, why did you say you’re like a deity?”
“I do admit I have aspects of it,” she explained, “and can see why some ponies might think as such. I’ve ruled over Equestria for millennia. I would not fault you if you believed I was one.”
“I- I don’t,” I answered quickly. “I only asked because- because I had to be sure. But there aren’t any other gods. The only god is God.”
“I’m not sure who you are referring to, but I can say the draconequus, Discord, had been called a god and is known as the Lord of Chaos. Although he's currently encased in stone. I don't believe he's the cause of your being in Equestria, if a feat such as that were even possible by him.”
“I- I don’t know who that is, but I don’t think… I- I don’t like this at all. I really don’t like this… when I say “god” I mean omnipotent and omniscient. I don't mean, like, doing weird stuff or being magical.”
“Although I’m not sure about omniscient, I can say that Discord is quite omnipotent,” the princess told me. “The laws of reality bend to his will. He once ruled over Equestria in a state of chaos until my sister and I used the Elements of Harmony to bring him down.”
“I really- achoo!- I really don’t like hearing all of this,” I told her, feeling just the barest, tiniest inkling of doubt in my faith at her words, trying to reassure myself that whoever Discord was, they couldn’t be a god because gods couldn’t be brought down by… whatever the Elements of Harmony were.
“I’m sorry,” she apologized gently, probably seeing the uncomfortable look on my face. “I didn’t mean to upset you. If you’d like, we can change the subject?”
“Yes please,” I responded quickly, grateful for the opportunity to talk about something else.
“If it’s acceptable, I’d like to question you about how you came here and what your world is like since I’ve last visited it. But before that, I assume you have numerous questions for me?”
“I… yes, I do actually,” I answered, quickly remembering something from yesterday. “I, um… I don’t know what I’m doing here or why, but, um… is something going to happen during that… sun holiday they’re planning?”
Celestia immediately dropped her face from neutral to a squinting scowl, which caused Asher to shrink back away from her. She looked almost angry at her for asking, and the filly looked at her hooves nervously as a result.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… never mind…”
“How did you figure that out?” she asked questioningly, leaning her head down as she took a step closer to her.
“I- I j-just…” she stuttered out nervously, going back to looking at her hooves. “She- she was talking about it in class, that teacher, Miss Cheerilee, saying how that sun celebration was coming up and how it was the one-thousandth year they were doing it. And- and she said it was being held here and that it would be held in a few days, so I figured… I mean, I really don’t think it’s a coincidence that I was put here in the town that holiday is being held on the one-thousandth anniversary exactly, so…” She looked back up at Celestia and squeaked at her intense expression.
The mare realized she was practically glaring at the filly and took a breath to relax as she explained herself.
“I’m sorry. You’re right. You’re quite the observant young man. Something will be happening on that day, the return of my sister, Princess Luna. However, I would appreciate you not sharing this knowledge with anypony else or researching it further. My faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, is handling it, and handle it she will. Although it might be an incredible coincidence, I have my own plans for her and do not want you to steer her away from those plans. Do you understand?”
“I- yes, I won’t, but I… I really don’t like any of this. I just want to go home but I’m here, and I feel like there’s a reason for it and something I should be doing…”
“Just sit patiently,” Celestia told the filly. “I will get Twilight Sparkle to work on something to send you on your way as soon as the Summer Sun Celebration has passed.”
“Okay, but I- ugh, I feel like I’m going to be stuck here forever. I don’t- I don’t want magic used on me, and even if I did, I can’t just say ‘let me go home’ can I? I mean, if God put me here, then who am I to say ‘’Well, I’m just going to leave’?”
Celestia tilted her head again as she asked, “Can you describe this deity to me?”
She sighed at that, explaining, “I was told that He’s like you in that He’s benevolent and graceful, but he’s also omnipotent and omniscient and omnipresent. That’s the very simplest way I can describe Him.”
“And as you said before, their existence is such that we cannot interact with them, but they can interact with us?”
“Not entirely, but that’s the easiest way to describe it.”
“I’m not sure such a being exists.”
Asher rolled her eyes at that, muttering, “Of course you don’t, but I know He does.”
“How do you know?”
“Because of all of my answered prayers, and- and... the simple fact that I’m here at all is proof, isn’t it? I mean, I’m a horse for crying out loud! People don’t just become horses at random! And the fact that you can raise the sun and have magic and the fact that I just so happen to be here on the thousandth year of that summer holiday is all proof. None of that can possibly be a coincidence, and you won’t be able to change my mind on that.”
“I’m not doubting that this isn’t a coincidence, however, I still do not think such a creature could exist.”
“Well, I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree on- achoo! ... ugh, I hate being sick…”
“I was hoping to be able to question you tonight, but it seems as though you should rest for the night,” Celestia told her as she picked the plate back up. “We shall discuss more tomorrow. For now, rest your head, my little pony.”
“Okay,” she sighed as she laid back down, allowing the princess to leave again. As she closed her eyes, she quietly mumbled a phrase to herself, “I will fear no evil, for my God is with me, and if my God is with me, whom then shall I fear?”
“A very curious colt,” Celestia thought to herself as she left. “Although that worldgate… it’s changed ponies’ species, but never their sex… hmmm… Perhaps he's ashamed to say he sees himself as a mare? Unless that deity he thinks exists is real and truly brought him here… could such a being exist?” Celestia eventually made it to her own bedroom, still deep in thought.
“What to do with him… having him with Twilight is probably the best course of action… hmmm… I can’t have him messing up my plans though. Except I can't keep him in Canterlot because several ponies in Ponyville have already seen him and know him.”
The mare growled to herself slightly at that. If she had it her way, she would keep Asher in Canterlot. But as it stood, it seemed the best course of action was to stick her with Twilight after the Summer Sun Celebration until a worldgate could be built to send her back. Not that that really mattered anyway. By the time one was built, years would have passed and there’d be no point anymore. She would just have to deal with this until she retired it seemed, a thought that caused her to grumble to herself and sigh again.
“If such a being exists,” Celestia thought to herself, “then I certainly can’t say I like them.”
“Was that really Princess Celestia?” Scootaloo asked, not touching her dinner of mashed potatoes and green beans. “Like, the real Princess Celestia? Standing in our house?”
“She’s just taking Asher to get checked up on,” Lofty explained for what felt like the fiftieth time in the past hour. Not that she believed it herself. Sure, the filly was sick and had caused a little bit of a scare in Ponyville, one that wouldn’t be over until after the holiday, but she didn’t really believe the Princess of Equestria herself would come all the way down to Ponyville just because she was sick. No, it was much more likely that Asher was telling the truth about herself, that that was the reason Celestia came down to take her to Canterlot. Not that she was going to tell the two fillies at the table that.
“She should be back tomorrow or Sunday, like the princess said,'' Holiday added, “and then you girls can go back to listening to her tell stories and playing pretend. Now please eat your food. It won’t taste very good cold.”
“Do you think she’s friendly?” Sweetie Belle asked, then gasped. “Maybe she’s trying to take over the world! That’s why she wanted to know about the Summer Sun Celebration!”
“Maybe she’s-”
“Hush now, girls,” Lofty scolded them. “Those aren’t very nice things to say about your friend, especially when she’s not here.”
“We’re sorry…” the two girls apologized at the same time.
“When she comes back, we expect you to tell her that, too,” Holiday added.
“Wait a minute,” Scootaloo started, suddenly thinking of something. “She told us that she was a boy, so shouldn’t we call her ‘him’?”
“We… will talk about that later. Now eat your dinner, please.”
“Didn’t she say she was some creature called a human?” Scootaloo asked Sweetie Belle once the two were alone in their room. “And was turned into a pony?” she continued. “Maybe that’s why she didn’t know what cutie marks were!”
“Now we have to be extra sure to teach her about being a pony! What if she messes something up and people figure out she’s not one?”
“What if she’s here because her parents were mean to her and turned her into a pony for misbehaving, and so she ran away from them? And that’s why she said her parents weren’t here?”
“What if she killed them and now she’s hiding and trying to blend in as a pony so nopony finds out?”
The two fillies gave each other a serious look for a second before breaking into a fit of laughter at the absurdity of the situation they were able to come up with. They laughed for a few minutes to themselves before Sweetie Belle spoke again.
“Wait, she also said she used to be a colt, which means we need to teach her about being a girl, too!”
“Okay!” Scootaloo agreed. “But, um, not a froo froo girl like your sister, Rarity. She should be more awesome, like Rainbow Dash.”
“But also a little bit fashionable like Rarity, too, so nopony is mean to her.”
“And we can teach her how to get her cutie mark!” the orange pegasus added excitedly. “She said she didn’t even know what it was!”
“We have so much to help her with. This is going to be fun!”
“You don’t really think she- erm, he- is… some creature else, do you?” Lofty asked as she and her wife washed the dishes. “I mean, the Princess of Equestria did show up in our home just this evening to speak to her, and took her to Canterlot…”
“Well…” Holiday responded tentatively, “I mean, it never sounded like she was lying to us… I mean, he, but I guess it is possible that the princess really did get news that quickly, seeing as they have to make restrictions on the Summer Sun Celebration because Asher is sick…”
“What do you think Celestia will do with her? I mean, if she’s telling the truth… or, I mean, if he is, then… what?”
“I mean, I don’t know,” the mare answered. “I’m not sure. I assume Celestia would… send him back to wherever they came from then? I don’t know…”
“Well, I’m sure the princess knows what’s best… although I have to admit, she was a very nice filly… or, um, colt… is it weird that I almost want her to bring Asher back?”
“You know we can’t take care of a foal in the long term, Lofty,” Holiday reminded her.
“I know that, but it would still be nice to take care of Asher until the Summer Sun Celebration was over, anyway, but I guess that would be pretty selfish on our part. Only taking care of him until we had to abandon him.”
“It’s not selfish to want to take care of a foal,” Holiday told her as she moved over to nuzzle her. “Besides, we’re assuming that Princess Celestia is doing more than just making sure she gets better. She said she’d return in a couple of days, didn’t she? I don’t think the princess would lie to us, and if she was mistaken, she would tell us.”
“You’re right,” the pegasus agreed, giving her a quick kiss. “We’re probably getting worked up over nothing. It's probably just because Asher is sick that she's in Canterlot.”
“Don’t get yourself worked up, Celestia,” the princess told herself as she paced around the library. She found herself getting increasingly nervous at the idea that such a being as the one Asher described could exist. She said it with complete confidence, as though there was no way to argue against it, and still with more confidence in her voice. The way she spoke of this deity, it was as though she heard countless times that they didn’t exist, so many times in fact that she didn’t even bother to argue that greatly. The princess knew she was ready to drop the argument anyway, completely indifferent to what Celestia’s opinion was. That was what made her nervous.
She didn’t want such a being to exist. If a deity like that existed, it meant that she wouldn’t be in control of… well, anything . She had a plan set out for her student, Twilight Sparkle, and the introduction of such a creature could mess that up. She already didn’t like that one stranger had landed in her kingdom, and she didn’t know what she would do if more just came flying out of the sky to cause disharmony. It was a frightening prospect, once that Celestia had to take deep breaths to calm herself down from.
“Omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent,” Celestia thought as she walked past the shelves in the library, heading into one of the forbidden sections. “That’s what he said. Such a being cannot exist. Perhaps each of those things individually are possible for some creature to achieve, but not all three at the same time. No being can truly claim to be all-powerful.”
She made her way further until she stopped in front of a book containing a list of worlds that were accessible through the mirrors before they were destroyed, as well as a short description of each one. She only had a few pieces of information, but she could use those few pieces of information to her advantage. With that in mind, she quickly flipped to the couple of pages she had on the world ‘Earth’ and read.
Earth: Age: Unknown. Year: Roughly four hundred days. Day: Roughly twenty-five hours. Climate: Mostly temperate, with tropical and polar regions. Magic: extremely limited and dispersed. Dominant creatures: Minotaur-like apes. Status: Forbidden, known for extreme violence and hostility to other creatures. Do not visit for any reason.
The description continued from there, going over what she and Star Swirl had detailed, among other things, but she didn’t really need the rest. The main thing she wanted to know was how long each year was. About four hundred days. Celestia already knew how old the filly looked, which was around eight to ten years old. All she would need to do was ask her what her age was and then…
“And then he would simply say that this being translated his age correctly among worlds and shrug it off. And if it doesn’t match up, they would shrug it off anyway, and it would be proof that a worldgate wasn’t in play… impossible to prove that this deity doesn’t exist, but quite easy to prove that it does… do I really want to know?”
She thought for a moment before laughing at herself. What kind of question was that? Of course, she wanted to know! It was always better to know that it was to not know. Isn’t that what her faithful student taught her? Sure, knowing might be scary, but if a mere filly could handle knowing that there was an all-powerful deity out there, then surely she could, too. She was the ruler of Equestria for heaven's sakes! It was her job to know, and know she would. Or, at least, she would attempt to.
Before she knew it, she was off to bed and waking up again, raising the sun as she always did and waking up the sleeping filly as well. She couldn’t help but notice how peaceful she looked with her eyes closed, a little less so however once she saw the sweat on her forehead, causing her to quickly head to the infirmary to get more medication for her to take before waking her.
“Huh?” Asher asked sleepily as she groggily opened her eyes. “Where… where am I?” she got out, before gasping as she caught sight of Celestia, taking a second to remember where she was.
“I’m sorry, I did not mean to startle you,” the princess apologized as she gave her a glass of water with a tablet of medicine floating in it. “Your sheets are quite wet from your sweat, and you look a bit worse off this morning,” she explained as the filly took it in her hooves. “This should help to make you get better, or at least to keep your symptoms to a minimum.”
“Thank you,” she responded as she downed the drink, Celestia taking the opportunity to speak to her.
“I must ask, sir,” she said, “how old are you? I don’t believe you’ve told me.”
“I’m going to be twenty-five in a few months,” she responded, pausing to finish the glass, already feeling a bit better. “I’m actually in college, almost finished with my degree.”
“Twenty-five in a few months…” Celestia trailed off as she did some quick math in her head. “That puts you at about… ten thousand days old?”
“Uhhh… let me think…” she got out tiredly, not completely awake as she tried to do some mental math. “Umm… uh…. I- think it’s about nine thousand? Maybe a couple hundred short of that?”
Celestia put on a wide grin at that news, breathing an internal sigh of relief as she commented, “That’s perfect. Everything lines up perfectly.”
“Uhh, what does?”
“You being the age you are,” she explained. “Your body was nine thousand days old in the place you are from, Earth, and so as well, the worldgate you traveled through made your body nine thousand days old here.”
“What? I don’t… what? Are you saying that I’m supposed to- wait, how long is a year here?”
“One thousand days,” Celestia told her. It caused the filly to squint, her tired brain trying to work where she was going with this, not even stopping to consider yet just how long of a life that would entail.
“Oh, I see what you're saying,” Asher responded as she finally realized where she was going with the conversation. “This is about that thing you were talking about yesterday, right? Cause you think some portal brought me here?”
“Well, it seems likely to me based on-”
She interrupted her with a sigh, automatically explaining it away, saying, “God brought me here and made me a filly, so I’m pretty sure He wouldn’t have any trouble making sure I was the correct amount of days old in the place he brought me to.”
The princess sighed at that and opened her mouth to continue before deciding against it. Arguing with her right then wouldn’t have been the right thing to do, so instead, she opted to drop it. She would just have to accept that her position was a losing one and unprovable, not that it really mattered in the end. If such a being existed, then what was she going to do? Yell at it?
“Just go with it, Celestia,” she told herself. “There’s nothing you can do about the cause of his being here. The best you can do is try to send her back. If the deity exists, it exists. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Although, the conversation of his being a filly will have to be discussed eventually, whether because of a worldgate or a deity or some other reason. I’m sure it’s quite uncomfortable for him, however, I still have my own theories as to why...”
The bacon and oatmeal we were served tasted nice, and we ate while Celestia asked me questions about Earth. It was a couple of hours of discussion, with her asking many questions and me explaining and going through the history of the world. It was honestly kind of nice, being able to talk about something relatively normal for a change, and almost found myself enjoying the conversation.
“It is very nice to hear how far Earth has come in all this time,” she told me. “It was quite the… well, frankly, it was abhorrent. The last time Star Swirl and I visited was around eight or nine hundred years ago and it was… quite violent. One of the most violent places we’ve visited actually, which was why we put it on our banned worlds list.”
I frowned a little bit at that, mostly because of the fact that she said she went there, and replied, “Yeah, well… it’s much less like that, violent I mean. I mean, it still kind of is, but much less so, especially after World War Two.”
“You never explained the reason for that. Do you know the cause?”
“Well, um…” I started. “Well, the main reason is technological advancement, some of it good, some of it… not great…”
“Not great?”
“Well, uh, do you know what mutually assured destruction is?”
“I cannot say I’m familiar with that concept.”
“Basically, war… or, large scale war involving the major nations, doesn’t happen anymore because everyone, every major country I mean, has weapons that can kill millions of people all at once, so… attacking one of them would lead to mutually assured destruction.” I couldn’t help but cringe at the slight grimace Celestia wore when I finished.
“I see…” she trailed off, clearly uncomfortable with that thought, then put on a forced smile as she continued, “Well, I am still glad to hear that at least the lives there are better than what they were before, even given the circumstances. But now I do want to hear more about you. You said before you were an adult. What do you do?”
“I- I work in a restaurant,” I answered. “I’m actually the manager of a restaurant, a second assistant, so that’s two levels below general manager, and the lowest you can be to be a salary worker.”
“Do other workers not have salaries?” she asked.
“Salary just means you get a set amount of money per year versus getting paid by the hour. So I might be forced to come in and work more, but the amount I make is always fixed, even if I were told to go home early and worked less than forty hours a week. Not that that’s ever the case.”
“That’s very interesting. Would you say you’re good at it? Is it something you enjoy doing?”
“I guess I enjoy it kind of. It’s not really hard, I think, and I’m almost done with school for it. I have basically one year left on my Master’s degree.”
“Master’s degree?”
“Basically it’s a certificate that says I know how to run a business and will help me get better jobs. Or I can show it to a bank when I give them my business plan if I request a loan to start my own business.”
“I see. That sounds very interesting. I wonder if you’ll get a cutie mark in business? Or maybe a chef cutie mark since you work in a restaurant?”
“Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle told me what a cutie mark was, but could you tell me again please?”
“A cutie mark is a special mark that ponies get when they discover their special talent,” she explained. “It is normally associated with a pony’s destiny, and many times is tied to a pony’s name. For example, with a name such as Ashley, your special talent might involve working with stones or fires. Of course, it doesn’t always have to line up with one’s name, but as I said, many times it does.”
“So, like, you mean there’s predestination here?”
“Well, a bit like that. Each pony has their own destiny, although each pony also has the ability to shape their own destiny as well.”
“That’s… interesting, I guess…” I trailed off, fighting off the nervousness. “And you think I’ll get one?”
“I’m almost certain of it,” she replied. “Everypony gets one when they’re a foal. It could be tomorrow, or it could be five years from now. As I said, it comes when you discover your special talent.”
“Well, I already know what I’m good at, but I mean…”
“Well, perhaps if you did what you were good at, it would appear. Or maybe your special talent is something else? In any case, it does look like you’re feeling better, so I believe we’ll deliver you back to your guardians care.”
“We’re going back now?”
“Yes, unless you believe we should stay here?”
“I mean, I guess I don’t have that choice, do I? And I... think I liked staying with those two, and Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle sorta... But do we have to fly back? I really, really don’t like heights…”
“Hmmm… I suppose we can go back by train if you’d rather? Or we can teleport, although I typically prefer not to waste magic when it’s not necessary.”
“I- I’m not comfortable with teleporting somewhere, or using magic, but we could take a train? Please?”
“Certainly, it’s no trouble at all. I believe the next train should be boarding before noon, and it should only be a couple of hours to Ponyville from there. Although we might have to arrange for a car in the back of the train alone, but even if we can't, it shouldn’t be an issue.” She then put on a gentle smile as she added, "Also, it's very nice to hear that you are making friends."
I couldn't help but put on a bashful smile at that.
The train ride was quite the experience for Celestia, as well as other ponies who saw her. The ponies who saw her stopped in place, surprised that she was out and about, although not completely star struck like they were in Ponyville, seeing as they’d been around her quite often. However, they were quite shocked when they saw her bend her head down and board the train that had stopped in the gate. It was such a surprise that many ponies missed boarding and leaving the train and missing their rides to and from the destinations they needed to get to.
Asher walked behind the mare, Celestia slowing her pace so the filly could keep up, and before they knew it, the two were sitting in the back of the train in a cart of their own, speeding off towards Ponyville.
“I’m not making anyone else sick, am I?” Asher suddenly asked as they sat down alone. “I mean, I feel a lot better because of that medicine, but I’m also walking by a whole bunch of people…”
“That was and is being taken care of. If you noticed, the streets were quite a bit more empty than they normally are.”
“I assume they’re all getting vaccinated because I was sick?” she asked.
“That is correct. A few were vaccinated late last night, but most of them are going out today. Even though Ponyville is being quarantined for the time being, with you being in Canterlot, we want to remain cautious.”
“I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I know I’m causing a whole lot of trouble for you. I know I’m annoying you at least and making your job more difficult.”
“I assure you, you are not annoying me,” the princess told her, “and there’s no need to apologize. It is the result of circumstances beyond your control.”
“You can say that again…” Asher mumbled, causing the two to sit in silence for a few minutes. Celestia watched the filly, who stared out the window as the fields of bright green grass passed her by, nothing more than that, the rolling hills, and the occasional house out in the vast openness of Equestria.
She found herself getting used to how unnaturally bright and unrealistic looking everything was. It was like staring out at a TV show or a children’s book. Everything was just so unnatural, the sky too bright blue, the clouds too pristine white, the hills rolling too perfectly. Even her own silver coat and gold mane looked completely and perfectly uniform unless she ran her hooves through them. And even then, they went back to seemingly perfect without much effort on her part. It was off-putting to look at, almost creepy.
“This is a gift,” she told herself as she sighed. “Even if I don’t like it, even if it’s just to learn a lesson, I’m being given an opportunity to learn something by God. Millions of other people can only dream of the chance, and yet I’m the one who’s here. I should be thankful and appreciative of the opportunity.”
“It’s quite a beautiful sight, isn’t it?” Celestia commented as they rode along. “As you might guess, I mostly view the land from up above, although it is quite nice to be able to see it from the ground.”
“Yes, it looks pretty,” Asher told her politely before turning around away from the window. “Um, how long will it be before we get there?”
“Likely just over two hours,” the princess answered, causing the filly to frown.
“Is there a restroom on this train?”
“I believe so. There should be one at the back of this cart.”
“Okay, thank you,” she replied, Celestia watching her walk off to the back of the long cart before stopping in front of the two doors that lead to each bathroom and staring at them for a long moment, which made the mare get up to follow her.
“I haven’t seen anypony go in there. What are you doing still standing here?”
“I don’t even know which one- I can’t read whatever language this is written in.”
“The one on the left is the mare’s restroom, and the one on the right is the stallion’s restroom,” Celestia explained, intentionally not telling Asher which one she should use. She was interested in seeing what choice she should make, and watched the filly grumble to herself and stomp her hoof.
“Is there a single person restroom for me to use?” she asked, sounding annoyed.
“I do not believe so,” the princess answered. “Although as I said, I don’t believe anypony is in there.”
Asher grumbled to herself again and frowned, the mare noticing her deliberation as the filly said, “I don’t… I can't go in the men’s restroom can I, because I look like this… ugh, I hate this.” She had her face in a deep scowl, and was almost grinding her teeth.
“You told me you are an adult, so that wouldn’t be my choice to make,” Celestia responded. Asher’s cheeks went red at that and she scowled harder as she looked at the ground.
“Can you… please make sure no one is in there?” she asked a bit quieter, having to force the words out.
“Which room would that be?” the mare asked, earning a frustrated huff in response.
“That one!” the filly practically yelled, using a hoof to point to the left. “I can’t use the other one because… ugh! I can’t stand this!”
The princess did as she was asked, just a little bit surprised at the tone she was spoken to with before remembering the filly was an other worlder, and came back out a few seconds later.
“The room is completely empty,” she told her.
“And will you make sure no one goes in there for me please?”
“I will make absolutely certain, I assure you.”
With that, Asher quickly hurried in, leaving Celestia standing alone in the empty car, staring at the door on the opposite end. She didn’t expect anypony to wander in, and tilted her head as she tried to analyze what happened.
“An interesting way of going about things,” she thought to herself. “He says he’s a colt but because he looks like a filly he uses the mare’s restroom, even despite his discomfort, even when expressly told it was his decision to make. Although it makes sense, given his current form. It would likely appear strange if he used the stallion’s room, and he probably figured so as well.”
It was less than two minutes later when Asher appeared again, glancing up to Celestia briefly before blushing embarrassedly and staring back at the ground, her hooves dripping wet from the sink. The princess opened her mouth to speak, but Asher interrupted her before she could.
“I don’t want to talk about it at all,” she said, unable to hide how shy and embarrassed she felt as she unconsciously pressed her ears flat against her head. “I’m a man. I’m only using the women’s restroom for practical purposes.”
“I was just going to ask if you wanted me to order food for lunch. It’s past noon.”
The filly sighed at that, saying, “No, I’m fine. We just ate a few hours ago… I just want to sit back down and... look at the landscape passing by.”
“That’s understandable, we can do that. Let’s head back to our cart.”
It wasn’t too long before the two of us got back to Ponyville, the town practically empty when we arrived, just a couple of ponies out and about, bowing respectfully to Princess Celestia, the woman- mare- giving them a friendly wave as we passed through. I assumed it was so empty because of me, and felt my ears unconsciously droop at the thought.
“Am I still contagious?” I found myself asking as we walked. “Also, can you control your ears? Cause these things seem to just… do stuff automatically.”
“I’m not sure. That would be something to ask a doctor, or perhaps my pupil, Twilight Sparkle. She might know something about it, seeing as she reads everything she can get her hooves on. As for your ears, you should be able to move them however you wish, as well as your tail, but seeing as you likely don’t have much experience in doing so, it might take time.”
“Okay… is there anything else I should be aware of? I’ve been here for a few days now, but I don’t know if there’s anything else I should know.”
“Well, there are many things you should know, but at the moment, I can’t say there is anything that stands out. You’ll learn what you need as time goes on. Anyway, here we are.” We were stopped in front of Holiday and Lofty's house, somehow walking up to it without me realizing it. Although I did think I was getting a mental map of this city in my head. A way to school, a way home, what the train station looked like, the bakery.
“I have a question,” I suddenly asked as the thought came to mind. “Can I live alone? And be treated like an adult? I mean, I know I’m an adult, and you know I’m an adult, so…”
She smiled at me, the kind of smile you give a kid when you think they’re saying something dumb, and it made me frown.
“You’re just as old as all of the other colts and fillies. Besides, where else would you live if not here?”
“I… I don’t know, but aren’t you the princess of this country? I’m pretty sure you could set me up with something.”
“That is true, however, everypony would still see you as a foal and treat you like one. For now, staying here with Miss Lofty and Holiday as your guardians is ideal. I will see what we can work out once I get back after the holiday, however.”
“Can you at least tell them right now that I’m an adult? At least Miss Holiday and Lofty? Please?
She looked down at me with a knowing smile, telling me, “I’m sure I won’t need to. After all, it’s not often that the Princess of Equestria goes to visit somepony, trust me. However, even still, I do expect you to remain in school so you can make friends. As they say, friendship is magic.”
I sighed at that and decided to press a bit further.
“Please? Can you just tell them about me? They’ll believe you if you tell them. Please?”
“I’m sure it won’t be an issue, Asher. Although it might be difficult, a bright young colt like you should be able to navigate what lies ahead.”
“Whatever…” I got out as I looked at my hooves, rolling my eyes. ”Do you at least have any more of whatever medicine you gave me? I think I’m starting to feel sick again somewhat.”
“Your guardians should have received a package of medication from Canterlot. But I do have to get going now. As you may have guessed, there are other things I have to attend to as Princess of Equestria.”
“If you say so, but I do have one more question: if you’re the princess of this country, then is there a king and queen?”
“Well, I guess you could say I am the queen, at least in governance, but those names have a certain… history behind them that I can’t say I’m fond of. But now I must be going. I’ll speak with you again after the Summer Sun Celebration. Farewell for now.”
With that, she teleported away, back to Canterlot I assumed, a loud pop being heard once she left. I tried not to cringe at myself at that. She said everyone here, everypony here, had magic, and she had the power to raise the whole sun , so I could only tell myself that magic existed because God allowed it to exist and gave them whatever abilities they had. I still didn’t like it, but it made me less nervous about it at least.
I made my way up the sidewalk to the door, using a hoof to knock lightly and being greeted by an excited Scootaloo a second later.
“Asher! You’re back!” she practically yelled, causing me to instinctively put my hooves up to my ears, feeling lucky that the medicine I took was still working. I expected to see Holiday and Lofty first, although the sight of Scootaloo wasn’t a surprise.
“What was it like? What did the princess ask you? Are you in trouble? What’s Canterlot like?” A million questions came all at once, and I had to interrupt her in the middle of them.
“Where are Miss Lofty and Holiday? I thought they would be here.”
“Oh, they’re knitting right now, and probably want to know you're back.” With that, she called loudly for them as we walked into the dining area, the two of them standing more on their back legs as they knitted in front of a counter.
“Hey, Asher,” Holiday said casually as she stayed focused on what she was doing, way more casual than she’d ever been in the entire time I’d known her. “Are you feeling any better?”
I couldn’t help but frown at that, the tone in their voice, and sighed, deciding not to bother with it right then, telling her, “I’m still not feeling that well, but I am better. I’ll talk to you later though.”
Asher turned to Scootaloo and asked, “Isn’t Sweetie Belle supposed to be here?”
“She’s going to get some stuff from her sister Rarity,” the orange pegasus responded as they started to walk upstairs. “She said she would be back soon. Oh! What were the guards in Canterlot like? And flying on Princess Celestia’s back?”
Eventually, the conversation got too faint for Holiday and Lofty to hear, and the mares whispered amongst themselves once the two were gone.
“I mean, the princess didn’t even come inside,” Lofty started. “That confirms it, doesn’t it?”
“Well, I mean, maybe she just- sweet Celestia! ”
The two were suddenly standing in front of the Princess of Equestria, who had teleported in front of them and quickly put a wing on their muzzles to keep them from speaking.
“Apologizes for my sudden appearance. I did want to speak to you two privately though, without Ashley in our presence if that’s quite alright.”
“Oh my gosh, you just about gave me a heart attack,” Lofty got out as she put a hoof on her chest. "Yes, yes that’s fine. I mean- anything for you, princess.” She and her wife bowed awkwardly at her presence as she spoke.
“Perfect. I did want to start by saying that your thinking that they are from outside of Equestria is correct. How and why this happened, I still cannot determine, but it has happened. And I’ve decided that as of right now, they will remain in your care.”
“So she- she really is telling the truth?” Lofty asked. “She really is an adult? And a colt, too?”
“Asher is telling the truth when they speak of their past life," the princess explained, "however, in regards to being an adult, while they are more mature than the average foal, they are a foal nonetheless. He has confirmed for me that he is nine years old, although timescales where he comes from are different, hence the maturity. As far as being a colt, though, it’s… rather complicated, as you already know. While Asher is steadfast in his… view of himself as a male, I believe that over time their perspective will shift.”
“You think later he’ll stop thinking he's a colt?” Holiday asked.
“I do believe so, yes, although I always could be wrong. However, it's just what I believe will happen based on what I understand about his situation.”
“Why are you trusting us to watch him?” Lofty asked.
“Well, in part because, as of now, we’ve no way of sending them back, but also because Asher expressed a fondness and desire to return to you, and from what I can see, you’re a very nice couple with a great understanding about him, and clearly care for him. Although this should only last through the Summer Sun Celebration, to be clear.”
“Oh, we know that,” the mare explained. “We have to leave after then anyway. Although I am a bit concerned that she might not- he might not have anyplace to go to once we’re gone…”
“Rest assured, they will remain in capable hooves, I can assure you of that.”
“Tell me what happened!” Scootaloo practically begged the second we entered the bedroom. “You have to tell me!”
“I flew on her back to Canterlot, she asked me a bunch of questions, gave me some medicine, and then we took the train back. It really wasn’t that spectacular, I promise.”
“But you really are from another world like you said, right?” she asked. “You really are a hu-mare like you said?” I sighed at that question and sat on the ground.
“I don’t know,” I answered. “I know that I was before, but clearly, I’m a pony now, right? I’m basically the exact opposite of what I was, from an adult male human to… this . Ugh…”
“Awww, come on, being a pony isn’t that bad, right?”
“No, it’s not bad ,” I responded carefully. “I just… miss being what I was… ugh, this is going to make me cry again…”
“Hey! Me and Sweetie Belle had an idea! We could teach you how to be a pony! That way you can fit in and nopony will know you were ever anything else! And we can also teach you about being a filly since you used to be a colt!”
“That’s the thing. I don’t want to be a pony, and I especially don’t want to be a girl. I want to be me, but I’m not…”
I closed my eyes and put my head in my hooves as I tried to force away my tears. This was a gift. This was a gift . I had to look at it that way. If I was here because God brought me here, then this couldn’t be anything but a gift because I was chosen out of billions of other people in the world and throughout history to be put here. Even if it was horrible, it was still a gift regardless because God brought me here.
“Except that princess was certain I wasn’t,” I suddenly thought, unable to stop it from popping into my head. “She’s certain that I’ve always thought I was a girl and was brought here because of some gate.” That was an almost laughable thought to me. I wasn’t transgender, not in either direction. I’ve never, not even one single time, desired to be a girl, and I certainly didn’t like being one right now. As well, I wasn’t trans right now because I actually was a man. I was actually born as a man and had always been a man. It wasn’t the same as other people saying they were a different gender. I actually was a man. I was just that right now I was…
“I’m just literally trans right now,” I thought to myself, making myself feel worse. “And I can’t do anything about it… oh, I hate this so much. I don't want to be like this." I took in a breath as I continued to myself, "This is a gift, this is a gift, even if it feels absolutely terrible, this is a gift… ”
“Are you okay? You’re not going to cry again, are you? Cause you cry even more than Sweetie Belle does.”
“No,” I got out quietly, before clearing my throat and speaking again. “No, I’m not going to cry. I’m sorry. Is there- is there something else we can do? What do you guys do all day on your days off?”
“Oh! We hunt for cutie marks! But um, I think it’s supposed to rain in a little bit. But we can go see if Sweetie Belle has anything we can- oh wait! We’re gonna teach you about being a pony! I remember! Let’s go ask if we can go over to her sister’s house and have a sleepover, that way Rarity can help us!”
“Oh! Princess! You’re back again!”
“Yes, Twilight, I am. I came to talk to you about that filly we were discussing.”
“The silver-coated one? What’s wrong? Do you think she knows something important about Nightmare Moon’s return? Should we-”
“Calm down, Twilight,” Celestia laughed lightheartedly. “I’m only here to tell you that she will be staying under your care after the holiday.”
“Wait, she will? Who is she? Is she somepony dangerous?”
“No, she’s not. She will tell you about herself when you meet her after the holiday. In fact, we three can sit down and I can formally introduce you to her. But for now, what you should know is that her name is Ashely, but she prefers to go by Asher, she’s nine years old, she’s quite intelligent and mature for her age, much like yourself when you were young, and prefers to be referred to as a colt.”
“Wait, she wants to be called a colt? Why?”
“I will explain all of this in further detail when the time comes. But moving onto more important matters: how have the tasks I’ve given to you been going? How are preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration in Ponyville?”
“Well, um, they’re a bit behind schedule right now because of the precautions we’re taking because of that diphtheria case- wait a minute, that was her, wasn’t it? She was the pony who had diphtheria!”
“Yes, Twilight, she was, but I do want to know if preparations will be in place in time for the holiday.”
“Well, sure, they will be, but Ponyville will be closed off to outsiders until after the Summer Sun Celebration, so I don’t know if-”
“That’s fine. I would still like the ponies who are here to have an excellent time, even if there are fewer ponies than we typically would expect. But now most importantly: have you been making friends?”
The purple unicorn pressed her ears against her head at that. “Well, um, I- I’ve been busy with preparations and finding that filly and-”
“Twilight, that is one of the tasks I’ve given to you, remember? I would like to see you make some friends during your time in Ponyville. Perhaps you can start by going to Sweet Apple Acres and speaking with the Apple family. They were one of the first families in Ponyville, and I believe they’ll be in charge of the food for the celebration. That would be a good opportunity for you to meet some other ponies, and perhaps learn a bit about this town’s history as well.”
“I mean, I was going to go down to see them the day of the holiday, but I don’t see why I need to-”
“Twilight?” the princess interrupted, causing her student to look her in the eyes, seeing just a hint of sadness and perhaps a dash of concern on her face. “Promise me Twilight that you will make friends during your time here?”
The mare sighed, answering, “Yes, Princess, I promise I'll make friends.”
Author's Note
Note: We're getting close to a timeskip to the Summer Sun Celebration
“Oh my gosh, it looks awful out there…” I commented as Scootaloo opened the front door. It was raining like she said it would, and heavily at that. There were a few rolls of thunder that could be heard, and they caused me to frown. I really didn’t want to go out in that mess.
"Do we have to go?" I asked. "I thought Sweetie Belle would be coming back here."
“Come on!” she pleaded. “If we sprint, we can get there in like two minutes! It’s not that bad!”
“Maybe we shouldn’t…” I tried to say. “I mean, I’m still sick and all, and that’s just gonna make me worse I'm pretty sure.”
“Come on, please? You can wear your jacket so you don’t get wet! Please?”
I had to admit, there was actually one other thing I was afraid of outside of heights, and that was lightning. Staring at it outside the window from inside was fine.Iin fact, I liked thunderstorms when I was inside. It was nice white noise, and helped me fall asleep at night. But going out in it made me nervous. It wasn’t as deathly terrifying as heights, but if I could avoid it, I would.
“You’re not afraid of thunderstorms are you?” she asked, and I found myself getting a bit defensive.
“No, I just don’t want to get wet or get hit by lightning.”
“Lightning doesn’t hit ponies, dear,” Lofty broke in from her place at the counter. “The weather team always makes sure it hits the ground. You don’t have to worry about that.”
“How? How do they always make sure? Do they control the weather?”
“Um, yes, they do,” she told me as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, raising an eyebrow curiously before putting it back down and sighing. “We’ll tell you more about that when you two get back. Also, when you get back tomorrow, Holiday and I want to speak to you, Asher.”
“If it’s about me not being from Equestria, can we talk about that right now?” I got out. The two of them cringed slightly at that, and I continued, “I already told Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, so they already know.”
“Yes, um, about that,” she started, “how, um… how old are you exactly?”
“I’m basically twenty-five, although apparently time where I’m from isn’t the same as time here since a year is a thousand days, so I guess I’m eight or nine years old here, probably a few days short of being nine.” I saw both of them smile at that, looking slightly relieved, and I continued, “But I am an adult, just so you know. I’m not a child.”
“Well, you are definitely very mature for your age, but a nine-year-old certainly isn’t an adult, young man, no matter where you come from.”
I was going to argue, but a smile instinctively went up at being called a young man, and it stopped me. Although I wasn’t really ‘young’ per se, it felt incredibly nice to hear anyway, and stopped any argument I had in my head dead in its tracks.
“...you cheated,” I responded after a long moment of silence, keeping the grin plastered on my face. It caused them to smirk back at me, and I couldn’t help but blush at the thought that they might have done that intentionally.
“Maybe we did,” Lofty said cheekily. “I promise though we’ll talk about it later. Why don’t you get your jacket now and head on out with Scootaloo?”
“Well… okay,” I gave in. “But I do want to talk about this. I don’t want this to just be ignored, please.”
“Lofty and I promise we won’t ignore you, sweetie,” Holiday responded. “Now get going. It’s going to get worse out there before it gets better. Oh, and there should be a tablet of medicine for you to take in the bathroom.”
It wasn’t too much long later that Scootaloo and I were walking through the rain, my inability to grasp the function of running in this body causing us to get soaked. I kept myself from getting too freaked out by the lighting by reminding myself that they said lighting doesn’t hit ponies, and remembering that even if it did, the chances were one in a million or less. It was a largely irrational fear, although I found myself wishing I could move faster because of the lightning.
And the rain, too. It was heavy and cold and basically cut straight through the hoodie I wore and into my coat. It made me shiver to walk through, and felt less like summer rain and more like the first rain of spring, the kind that was just a few degrees from turning into sleet and snow. It made my teeth chatter as I followed the filly in front of me to Sweetie Belle’s house.
After several minutes, we made it to the shop that the white unicorn, Rarity, worked at and quickly headed inside, the lady, mare , gasping at the sight of us soaking wet and dripping water onto her floor.
“Oh dear, you both look dreadful!” she exclaimed, putting a hoof up to her mouth as she stared at us. “You two really walked all the way here in the rain? And your jacket, darling! We need to get that in the dryer this instant! What gave you two fillies the idea to go walking out in the rain?”
“We’re having a sleepover with Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo explained. “We’re going to teach Asher how to be a pony since she didn’t use to be one!” Rarity didn’t listen as she lit up her horn and levitated a towel over to us and roughly rubbed us down, starting with Scootaloo, who tried to push her off and complained.
“Now you’ll have to redo your mane… we might as well get you three in the bath since you’re having a sleepover, get it out of the way for the night…”
“I’d rather- yipe!” was all I managed to squeak out as she rubbed down my rear and tail before levitating the hoodie off of me. Once it got off, I couldn’t resist the overwhelming urge to shake, my body moving automatically as the water was flung off of me. I felt a bit like a dog as I did so, and heard the mare complain once I was done.
“Asher! Please control yourself! You’re going to get the whole store wet that way!”
“I’m sorry,” I apologized, then sneezed loudly, feeling a little inkling of headache because of it. “I couldn’t help it,” I explained. “It’s cold out there. I thought it was supposed to be almost summer.”
“Well, it has been warmer than average,” she explained. “This is probably to help us meet the average before summer starts.”
I didn’t really pay attention to her, closing my eyes and sighing in contentment as she moved the towel up to my back to dry me off. It felt incredibly nice, although not as nice as when Holiday brushed me. Still, I found a part of me wishing she would continue once she was done.
“There. Now you won’t track water everywhere when you get into the bath.”
“I- I want to take a bath by myself please,” I got out. “Please, if that’s okay.”
“We’re not going to be wasting water to have each of you go into the bathroom alone, Asher,” she said, her horn glowing as she picked me up before I could argue, causing me to freeze in place. “Besides, your mane looks positively horrid from your being out in the rain, and I for one won’t stand for it. We simply must get that washed out with shampoo, and it looks like it could stand to be conditioned, too. Now, come on, Scootaloo,” she instructed the orange pegasus before calling up the stairs as she marched up. “Sweetie Belle! Get in here, please!”
Before I knew it and could say anything else, I was being placed in a large tub, enough for about five or six ponies it looked like, and Rarity was turning on the water. She grabbed a large scrub and placed it under the water to lather it up before beginning to work on my back.
I didn’t really have a great opportunity to protest because of how nice the brush felt. I arched my back as she scrubbed and closed my eyes once again, deciding that being a pony had one good thing at least. Getting brushed and scrubbed felt absolutely amazing, better than just about anything I’d felt before. It also made me tired, but it felt incredibly nice, and I almost completely forgot where I was for a good minute.
“You don’t… I’m just a random pony,” I said as she started to work my neck and behind my ears, craning my neck at the feeling as my eyes opened up again. I saw Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle standing in the bathroom with me, which made me uncomfortable, but I guessed it was better than being in the tub with me.
“Do they really have to be in here to… mmmmh, that’s nice…”
“I don’t see what the issue is, little filly. Everypony who has a slumber party with my little sister simply must take a bath.”
“Well, I’m not a filly…” I trailed off, my eyes feeling heavy, trying not to sigh as she scrubbed my neck and shoulders. “I’m an adult, and I’m a boy, so I don’t want to take a bath in front of them.”
“Calm down, dear, we’re almost done,” she said, basically ignoring me. I would have pressed further, but being scrubbed felt incredible. I didn’t know what it was like to be high, but if I had to guess, this was it. I made a mental note to talk to her about them being in here once she was done.
“Close your eyes,” she instructed as I felt something slippery falling onto my head a second later, shampoo I assumed.
“Don’t style my hair,” I told her as she lathered me. “I don’t want it to look any different.” I paused for a second, then continued, “Actually, if you want to, you could cut it shorter, like all the way off, just above a buzz cut.”
“Well, I certainly won’t be doing that, darling. It's too nice to just throw away like that. But there isn’t much I need to do to your mane. It naturally falls into place in a style that seems to suit you, and I wouldn’t want to mess that up.” She said that, but to me, it sounded like she didn’t want to do anything because of my outburst the other day, which, while a bit embarrassing, I decided to take as a good thing.
“Thank you for not messing with it then. I really do appreciate it.”
She used her hooves to scrub me for a few minutes before instructing me to dunk my head below the water to rinse off. Before I knew it, I was being lifted out of the tub, dripping water onto the floor once again. I shook myself once again before staring awkwardly at Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, the nice feeling of being scrubbed wearing off and embarrassment returning.
“Why do they have to be in here?” I asked, my ears folding back against my head. “I told you, I’m a boy.”
“Well, you certainly don’t look like one to me, little filly,” she replied, “although I’m not sure what being a colt would have to do with anything if you were. I told you before, we don’t want to waste water. Now then, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, your turn.”
“Ugh, where’s a towel so I can dry off and leave? I don't want to be in here while they bathe.”
“Why don’t you want to take a bath with us, Asher?” Sweetie Belle asked me innocently after we were done. "Do you really not like us?"
“I told you before,” I explained, a bit frustrated. “I’m a boy.”
“So?”
“So… I don’t want to take baths with girls. I don’t know about here, but we don’t do that on Earth. Plus, I’m an adult, and it makes me… very uncomfortable.” I blushed again and quietly said, “I don’t like it. I’m sorry. I don’t even like you being in the same room as me when I’m bathing.”
Their faces went downcast at that before Scootaloo’s eyes lit up once again at an idea.
“That’s what we can teach you about being a pony!” she told me. “The first thing is that ponies like to snuggle and be together, and they like to be petted, too.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t think I’m going to be snuggling anyone anytime soon,” I responded. “And ponies also don’t care about personal space clearly. That was about the fifth or sixth time someone just dragged me off somewhere or lifted me with their... levitation powers... or touched my nose.” I reflexively scrunched up my nose at the thought of Rainbow Dash or Pinkie touching it. “I don’t like it.”
“You don’t like it?” Sweetie Belle asked. “But being petted and snuggled feels soooooo good!”
“I mean, it does I guess, being petted at least…” I answered truthfully. “But I still don’t like it…”
“You liked it!” the girl said, pointing a hoof at me. “I saw you purring when Rarity washed you! Don’t lie!”
“I mean, it felt good, but I don’t like… having my personal space invaded… wait a minute, what day is it tomorrow?”
“Uh, Sunday. Two more days of school, then summer!”
Sunday. Normally I’d head to church Sunday morning, but I was a pony, and I didn’t need to think hard to know there wasn’t going to be a church in Ponyland. It made me feel bad that I wouldn’t be able to go, that I’d be alone on Sunday, without any material to read or study, but I guessed that I could pray to myself and sing alone. It wouldn’t be as nice as being in church, but it would have to do.
“Is there anything to do on Sunday? Also, how long is summer? Two hundred and fifty days I assume?”
“Nuh uh. We’re just going to go cutie mark hunting! Or maybe read. Sometimes Aunt Holiday makes us do that on Sunday. Also, we have to teach you how to be a pony! So we can do that tomorrow, too.”
“And summer has four hundred days, Asher!” Sweetie Belle broke in. “Spring has three hundred days, fall is two hundred, and winter is one hundred.”
“Wait, you’re saying you have four hundred days of school off? Plus, you said you only go to school two days a week in the spring, so that means… uhhhhh… you have… seven hundred days off of school for every year that passes here?”
“I guess…”
“That’s… a lot. Like, an unbelievable amount. You go to school only 300 days out of the year.”
“I mean, I think it’s a lot. We have to go every day all fall and winter!”
“How much school do you do, Asher?”
“In the same period? I do about 500 days of school per thousand days, not counting essays and business modeling and working on my master’s thesis. That would bring it up to about 600 days of school. Each class isn’t that many hours, but I still have to drive in and show up and stuff. Not to mention going into work five days a week.”
“That’s… a lot. I would hate that.”
“You don’t even get all of summer! That sounds terrible!”
“Yeah, it’s what comes with being an adult, and being a human, too, I guess. Go to school every day, graduate and go to college, hope you’re lucky enough to get a scholarship, if not, take out loans to go to class, pay bills, and go to work everyday after that until you retire or die. It’s not very fun.”
“I’m glad I’m not there,” Scootaloo responded. “It sounds horrible.”
“But at least you’re here,” Sweetie Belle added. “Now you don’t have to do all that stuff!” I sighed at that, realizing that they were kids and wouldn’t really get it.
“I guess, but I- I worked hard to get where I was. It wasn’t fun, but I liked where I was headed. I wanted to open a restaurant of my own, or at least buy a franchise from someone and be a business owner. Plus I don’t know anyone here. All my family and friends are there, and I’m never going to see them again, and I miss them… and I don’t even need to mention the fact that I’m a girl now.”
The two of them frowned at that, going silent for a moment before Sweetie Belle told me, “Well, you know us, and we’re your friends. I mean, I hope we’re your friends, otherwise it’d be pretty weird having you sleep over at my sister’s house.”
I couldn’t help but smile at that, replying, “Yes, I can say you two are my friends. Thanks for trying to cheer me up.”
“Yay! Group hug!” the white filly suddenly called out, she and Scootaloo both pouncing on me and causing me to laugh.
Author's Note
Next, we'll do Sunday, and then we'll have gone through a whole week, so we'll be able to jump to the Summer Sun Celebration.
I always woke up early on Sunday, and today was no different. The sky out the window was still dark when I opened my eyes, but I could see the room well enough through the light of the moon. It was less like a room and more like an attic with a bed and a few dressers and toys. I could also see that Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle had scooted closer to me while I slept, the latter laying with her back up against mine. I sighed because of it, and kept where I was so as not to wake her despite wanting to get out of bed to stretch my legs.
“What can I do today?” I asked myself silently. “I don’t have a bible or a catechism or anything to study with… I don’t even remember what the sermon for this week was going to be or what the bible verses were.”
I guessed I could sing quietly and try to think of a lesson I should learn for this week, but didn’t know what it should be.
“Maybe that it’s okay to be trans, or at least that you shouldn’t go out of your way to avoid talking to people who are like that,” I found myself thinking, which caused me to cringe and grimace at myself. My gut instinct was to say that it wasn’t what I was supposed to be taking away, but, of course, saying that meant I was in the wrong for saying I was a boy, too, and it made me feel bad to think.
“Ugh, what am I supposed to do, just accept what happened? I mean, it’s not even the same, because I’m actually a boy. It’s not the same at all.”
I could still be nice, though, and not avoid people who are different. That was probably the lesson I was supposed to be taking away. Probably. I mean, there was a chance that this was just a coincidence, and there was some other message I was supposed to be taking away.
“Yeah, right. I’ve been turned into a trangender pony and I’m living with a lesbian couple. That’s probably not a coincidence.”
I sighed to myself. How do I turn this into a bible message? I mean, there was the obvious message, treat others the way you want to be treated, and that you should love your neighbor as yourself. Of course, the bible says you shouldn’t associate with bad company, because bad company ruins good morals. Although I was fairly certain that they didn’t mean to completely ignore people, or talk bad about people in your head, which I did a lot.
“Besides, it’s not like you’re above sin,” I thought to myself. “Unless you’re going to say something out loud, you might as well just not say anything. Being mean, even in your head, is never appropriate.”
I knew that, of course, but it was hard to put into practice. Not that that was an excuse, it wasn’t, but still. Besides, what was written in the bible could be interpreted multiple ways. Being gay might have have been a commandment given just to the people of Israel, just like it was given to them how to celebrate Passover and build the tabernacle, with the ten commandments being what was given to the whole world to follow. And besides, there wasn’t anything in the bible that talked about being trans.
“Except it also talks about sexual immorality in other places of the bible, and in Genesis it says that in the image of God he created us; male and female he created us.”
Ugh, why did I have to think of that?
“Lord, please, I don’t want to be a girl… please give me some indication that I'm doing what’s right. Please, don’t let me have to stay a girl. I don’t want to be a girl for hundreds of years… please, just give me something to say that I won’t have to stay like this... give me something to tell me that I'm doing the right thing...”
I hated how much this was getting to me, every day so far it seemed like, except Tuesday, and I hoped it would get better soon, but I didn’t really count on it unless something changed. I was going to grow up and be an adult mare , and my body was going to fill with whatever hormones mares had, I assumed estrogen like I knew humans had, and it was going to be horrible.
“Lord, please don’t let this happen to me,” I said aloud, forgetting about my sleeping companions as I sniffed and tried to hold back my tears.
“...Asher?” someone said, Sweetie Belle it sounded like, as I laid on my back and saw her sit up. “What time is it? Are you crying again?”
“No, I’m not,” I lied, keeping my voice steady as the tears dripped down. “It looks like it’s about to be dawn, I think.”
“What are you two doing up so early?” Scootaloo asked as she, too, sat up, using her hooves to rub her eyes. “I don’t even think it’s six yet.”
“I think Asher’s crying again.”
“I’m not,” I responded, taking a breath before continuing, “Well, I am, but not really. I’m trying not to. I was just thinking to myself about what we should do today.”
“And that made you cry?”
“No,” I sighed. “It was other stuff. It doesn’t matter.”
“Why do you cry so much?” Scootaloo asked. “I thought you said you were a colt. Colts don’t cry that much, and you cry more than Sweetie Belle.”
“Hey!”
“It’s because I feel bad," I sighed. "Yes, I know boys don’t cry that much, but when you’re a boy stuffed into… actually, I have a better way to explain it. Imagine if tomorrow, instead of being a filly, you became a colt, and instead of being a pony, you became a creature with only two legs, no fur, hands with long fingers instead of hooves, no tail, and you were transported to somewhere with a whole lot of other people that looked like you, and they all told you that you were crazy, and even the people who said you weren’t crazy said they wouldn’t do anything to help you? You’d probably be crying just as much as me, if not more.” I sighed again, adding, “Although being a girl is the worst part. It’s worse than everything else.”
“What’s wrong with being a girl?” Sweetie Belle asked innocently.
“There’s nothing inherently wrong with being a girl, it’s just… not what I’m supposed to be. It’s hard for me to ignore, and it makes me feel bad, and… I don’t like it…”
“Well, I wouldn’t cry,” Scootaloo declared. “I think it’d be cool to be somecreature else. Plus, I could see what it’s like to be a colt, too. It would be fun!”
“Ugh, nevermind. You don’t get it.”
I turned my head away and let the tears roll down silently for a minute, the room quiet for a while until Scootaloo spoke again.
“Soooo… what are we going to do today?”
Another sigh escaped me as I rubbed my eyes and rolled back over, answering, “I don’t know. Today’s the first day I won’t be at the doctor or in school or with the sun princess or anything, so… I don’t know.”
“Oh, we can go looking for our cutie marks!” Sweetie Belle suggested. “We could try being lumberjacks!”
“Ooo, that sounds fun,” Scootaloo agreed, turning to me, clearly wanting to know my opinion.
“I mean, I guess. I wanted to do church stuff, but I don’t know what to do.” She looked at me with a confused expression, and I explained, “Church is basically… to put it short, it’s…” I wanted to choose my words carefully, knowing that worship wouldn’t be a good way to describe it to them.
“Basically, it’s like school, kind of, except you spend an hour learning about God, and you do it on Sundays. Well, normally, there’s Sunday School for kids and bible study for adults for an hour, and then normal church service. It’s normally about 2 hours total. Go in at nine fifteen and leave at eleven fifteen.”
“You go to school on Sunday? Why?”
“To learn about and reflect on God. It’s every Sunday, and it’s nice. I like the people there.”
“That seems boring. Why would you want to do that?”
“It’s… well… we could get into that if you wanted me to, but I don’t know if you do… the very, very short version is that Jesus Christ died for your sins, and that you should both love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love other people just as much as you love yourself. Remembering the sabbath, remembering to go into church, is a commandment. That's why we go in, because of that, and because of how much God loves us. There’s more to it than that, but that’s the simplest way to explain it.”
“Who is Jesus Christ?”
“Jesus is the son of God, who He sent to the world to die for our sins.”
“Wait, what?” the filly asked, tilting her head in confusion. “What are sins?”
“Sins are… they’re basically things you’re not supposed to do. If you lie, that’s a sin. If you steal, that’s a sin. If you disobey your parents, that’s a sin. Sin is what… keeps people out of heaven. It’s what causes death. So because of sin, God sent his son Jesus to die for our sins so we don’t have to die.”
“Why don’t ponies where you’re from just not sin?” Scootaloo asked. “That way nopony has to die.”
“Because people are born into sin,” I explained. “Even if you don’t sin, you inherit sin from birth because of the sins of your parents, and their parents, and all the way back to original sin, which comes from Adam and Eve. Which is why Jesus was sent to die for our sins.”
“That doesn’t seem fair,” Sweetie Belle piped in. “You can’t be punished for something you didn’t do, and somepony else shouldn't be punished because other ponies were bad.”
“Yeah, you shouldn’t have to die because you disobeyed your parents, even if you weren’t supposed to.”
“Well, first, not sinning is impossible, because even hating someone in your thoughts is a sin. And second, even if it were, you’d still have original sin, no matter how unfair it may seem. But all you have to do is confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord and that he died for your sins.”
“I don’t know, that still doesn’t seem fair. Why does his son have to die because other ponies are bad?”
“Because people by nature are sinful, and because both God, and Jesus, love you enough that He would die for the forgiveness of your sins. That's why Jesus died. To forgive you of your sins.”
“Well, why can’t he just forgive everypony without dying? That doesn’t make any sense to me.”
“Because His forgiveness isn’t just… like… you have to ask for forgiveness. If you don’t really care at all about changing, then what’s the point of being forgiven? You wouldn’t forgive a bully who’s just going to keep bullying you after you’ve been forgiven.”
“I still don’t see why he has to die,” Scootaloo asserted. “I mean, if everypony sins, then didn't the guy who died sin?”
“No, he- that’s what I was missing explaining. He was sinless so he-”
“I thought you said everypony had sin even if they didn’t,” Sweetie Belle jumped in.
“I did, but like I said, Jesus is the son of God. So because of that, he was truly sinless, and by his dying, he defeated death so that we don’t have to die. Just being forgiven wouldn’t defeat death, so that’s why he died. Without his dying, then when we died, we would go to hell because of our sins, but because he died for us, we don’t have to face that.”
“What is hell?”
“Hell is…” I once again stopped to think, trying to think about how to describe it to a kid without making it overly scary. “Hell is where sinners go. Like how heaven is a nice place, hell is… the opposite. Nobody wants to go there, because if you go there, that’s where you’ll stay forever to be punished for your sins. That’s why Jesus died for our sins. So he could stop us from going there as long as we believed in him.”
“But I thought you said that the pony who brought you here, God could do anything,” Scootaloo brought up. “Why doesn’t he just stop ponies from going to hell?”
“Because like I said, there’s no point in forgiving someone if they’re not going to change.”
The orange pegasus thought it over silently before telling me, “I don’t know. It still doesn’t seem fair to me.”
“Oh... well, whatever. Never mind. I’m not even sure it affects you because…” I looked down at myself and sighed, continuing, “Anyway, I guess we can count that as today’s… bible study. Not terribly complicated, but it’s always important to remember, I guess.” With that, I let out a silent prayer.
“Lord, thank you for sending your Son to die for my sins, and thank you for…” I tried to force myself not to feel bad as I continued, “Thank you for… giving me this… opportunity, however difficult it may be to me.”
“Anyway, so… cutie marks in lumberjacking. How do you plan on doing that?”
I had no idea what happened, but somehow we were covered in tree sap before lunchtime. I really didn’t know how we ended up that way, but I had to force myself not to freak out as I felt the hairs in my coat start to stick together. I absolutely hated it as we walked home. It was sticky and horrible as we walked back to Holiday and Lofty’s house, and I made a mental note that we wouldn’t do anything like that ever again. At the very least, I wouldn’t participate in it.
“I need another bath,” I thought as the three of us entered the home, Holiday and Lofty both greeting us as we stepped in.
“Well, well, well, what happened here you three?” Lofty asked as she looked us up and down.
“Lumberjacking happened,” I answered as I sneezed and walked past her. “I’m going to go take a bath. Alone , please.”
“Actually, Miss Holiday and I wanted to talk to you, Asher,” she told me before I could get to far. “We’ve been waiting for you to come back so we could speak with you.”
“Can it wait until after I’m not all sticky?”
“It’ll only take a few minutes, I promise. Or we can talk to you in the bathroom if you want? It’ll just be us three, plus Holiday can help you scrub some of that… what is that?.”
I grumbled at that thought, answering, “Ugh, fine, but as long as it’s only us three. And it’s tree sap from lumberjacking. Don’t ask me how it happened because I don’t have a clue.”
Before I knew it, the three of us were in the upstairs bathroom, Holiday roughly scrubbing the sticky mess out of my back as she and Lofty started to talk to me.
“Lofty and I wanted to talk to you about… your maturity.”
“What is there to talk about?” I asked as she worked the brush into my coat and down to the skin beneath it. “I’m an adult. I don’t know what more needs to be said.”
“Well, ah, how old are you, Asher?”
“I’m twenty-five,” I answered flatly.
That caused the two of them to go silent for a moment. Holiday even stopped working my coat for a second in surprise. Clearly I’d caught them off guard.
“That’s, um… interesting, because Princess Celestia told us you were nine years old."
“Well, I’m about nine thousand days old, but I’m not actually nine. I mean, I'm nine here, but I'm twenty-five on Earth. Before I came here, I lived alone and went to work and paid bills and stuff. I can take care of myself.”
“But didn’t you say you were still in school, dear?” Holiday asked.
“Yes, but that’s college algebra and calculus and statistics and business administration, not… uhh, what grade are ten-year-olds in? Not fourth-grade math.”
“Well, you do still need to go to school anyway. Cheerilee told us you can’t read. Is that true?”
“I can read, but I can’t read in whatever language you guys use. She said I wrote in a language called unicorn script.”
“Well, then, it’d be a good thing for you to go to school and learn regular Ponish, wouldn’t you agree?”
“I guess, but isn’t school about to end anyway? That’s what Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle told me.”
“Well, it’s still best for you to go and get in what you can during the last two days of school before summer.”
“I don’t see why I have to,” I mumbled as I rolled my eyes.
“Sounds like somepony is being a pouty little filly,” Lofty responded, causing me to send a glare her way as my cheeks went red. “Errr, colt I mean. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not sure it’d make a difference if we treated you like a stallion or a colt, Asher,” Holiday said. “You wouldn’t be able to live alone or find a job or anything.”
“Yes, but…” But she was right. Being in this body had limitations, ones that I’d already experienced. Nobody was going to believe me about anything or take me seriously. There was practically no point in telling people I was an adult. But still…
“It doesn’t change the fact that I am one and want to be treated like one,” I explained. “I don’t want to be patronized, and I don’t want to be ignored. I don’t like it that all of you are just doing whatever you want with my life and not giving me any say at all. It’s not fair.”
“Well… actually, you’re right. We’re sorry,” Lofty apologized, her wife speaking up after her.
“You deserve to be listened to, especially since you’ve been saying you were an adult for days and we haven’t been listening to you. But you know we can’t just let you do whatever you want. You have to understand that.”
“I can live with that as long as you don’t completely ignore me like literally everyone else is. When I say I don’t want to do something, I’m not just saying it to be picky or difficult. I’ll more than likely have an actual reason for what I say.”
“We’re sorry. We’ll be better, we promise.”
“Okay, I trust you, and thank you. I really do appreciate it.”
There was another long minute of silence as Holiday scrubbed me. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of being cleaned once again, deciding that the best thing about being a pony was taking baths and getting my coat brushed. I also thought I felt my embarrassment about bathing in front of ponies, at least these two, starting to wane, which I figured was a good thing. I took a breath and settled back, taking the time to relax as I had my coat cleaned when Holiday spoke again.
“I do have a question, Asher,” Holiday started. “Do you… feel like a filly at all? Or have you ever felt like one?”
“Not at all and never once, not one little bit,” I answered. “Actually, it makes me feel bad that I’m stuck in this body, mostly because of that. It makes me feel terrible.”
“Can I… can we ask why?”
“Because I’m not what I’m supposed to be,” I answered. “I told those two this. It’s because I’m not what I’m supposed to be. It makes me feel terrible to look at myself too much or think about it a lot.”
“So… just to be clear, you don’t like being a filly, or you don’t want to like being a filly?”
“It’s definitely that I don’t like being a girl. At least if it were the latter, I wouldn’t feel quite so bad, because there’d be nothing to feel bad about. But right now… it’s horrible. Actually, it’d be easier to justify if I wanted to be a girl, because then God would have turned me into the thing I wanted to be. But I don’t, and he didn’t, and it’s… ugh. I hate it.”
“Maybe you could try embracing being a girl?” Lofty suggested.
“That’s like… ugh, I hate this example, I really hate this example, but that’d be like me telling you to just embrace marrying a stallion even though you didn’t want to… God, I hate this because it’s making it seem like I’m saying it’s okay to be trans, and I don’t think it is. But if it isn’t, then what I’m doing and the way I feel is wrong, too, because how could I just go against God’s will? I hate this so much.”
I was sure they could see the sadness on my face, because they frowned sadly at me and apologized again while I blinked the tears away.
“I’m sorry…” Holiday said. “Was there… was there anything you wanted us to do, dear? I mean, the princess did say that she thought you would see yourself more as a filly over time, but… was there anything you wanted us to do right now?”
“I don’t know if I want to feel more like a girl, but I’d at least feel better about myself if I did. I think so anyway. I don’t know. It might make me feel worse. But anyway, I don’t know, boys clothes would be nice… and books. Books on business management. And statistics, too. I don’t want to forget what I learned in class, in case there’s a way for me to get back to Earth. Please and thank you, if it’s no trouble. I’d really appreciate it.”
“Let Lofty and I see what we can find,” she responded. With that, she suddenly lifted me out of the tub and set me back on my hooves, announcing, “All done.”
I shook myself off as I grabbed a towel, doing my best not to blush as I gave a quick thank you and dried myself off.
“Was there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?” I asked.
“No, that was it,” Lofty told me, “except that Holiday and I probably won’t be watching over you in the long term. Princess Celestia said she’s going to have you staying with somepony else after the Summer Sun Celebration.”
“Oh, well… I think she said something about that. I can’t remember. But um…” My ears went flat against my head and I blushed as I admitted, “I kind of liked staying with you two, because you actually listen when I say something and try to help me…”
“Awww, well, we like taking care of you, Asher,” she smiled. “If we could, we’d take care of you longer, but we’ll come visit you after we leave.”
“I appreciate both of you, thank you.”
Author's Note
Up next, we're going to the Summer Sun Celebration. Had to slip that Nirvana reference in there.
Applejack was not feeling well when Twilight Sparkle visited her farm on the day of the Summer Sun Celebration.
The mare and her family were in charge of preparing the food for the day, which would be pies and fritters and crisps and cider and a whole assortment of other treats, all made with the Apple family’s apples, of course. However, Applejack was not as active as she would have liked to have been. She was sick. Diphtheria was what Granny Smith diagnosed her with. She’d heard about some foal getting it and how most of Ponyville was being vaccinated as a result, but didn’t see why she and her family should have to do anything. Heck, it was better to get sick and get better. It kept her immune system in good working order, she believed. If it weren’t for the schoolhouse in Ponyville, she would’ve kept Applebloom from getting vaccinated, too, but seeing as she needed her little sister to get her education, there wasn’t much she could do.
It seemed though that her plan backfired however, because she didn’t get sick until well after Big Mac and Granny Smith got sick, it creeping up on her yesterday before becoming a full blown illness today. Now because of it, she was laying in bed while her family, her brother, granny, little sister, and her cousins, were all helping out. It made her angry to be cooped up inside the house, but there was nothing she could do about it.
She sighed and grumbled to herself as she lay in bed, turning to look out the window as she watched her family work without her. It was painful to watch, almost as painful as her lungs felt, made even worse when she coughed. They were all out there working, and she was laying in bed being lazy. She couldn’t stand it.
“How are ya feeling, sugarcube?” Granny Smith asked as she entered AJ’s room to check on her. “Ya need anythin’ while Ah’m in here?”
“Ah’m- cough - Ah’m fine, Granny,” she told her, the sweat on her forehead and the snot on her nose clearly indicating that she wasn’t. “Ah don’t see why Ah should be stuck in here. Ah’m perfectly- cough- perfectly… uh, well…”
“Y’all ain’t well, missy,” she retorted. “Y’all jus’ need ta stay in here and git better, ya hear me? Ya don’t wanna be goin’ out there gettin' other ponies sick, do ya?”
“No, granny,” she sighed, rolling her eyes. “It just stinks being cooped up in here all alone when Ah could be out there helpin’ ponies, especially on the most important day of the year. Can’t ya at least give me a table ta build or somethin’? Ah ain’t that bad...”
“Ya are that bad. Ya know Big Mac an’ Ah had what ya have now not a week ago. Ya jus’ need ta stay in here and git better. An’ eat yer apple sauce. Yer gonna wanna keep yer strength up ta fight this thing.”
Applejack opened her mouth to respond, but could only cough painfully before she turned away from her back to the window, a look of frustration and sadness on her face from her inability to do anything. She really, really wished she could be out there helping, but knew that it was probably for the best that she was inside. It didn’t make it hurt any less that she couldn’t help though.
As she looked out the window, watching the clearing skies and the wind through the apple trees, she could see her older brother, Big McIntosh, shaking hooves with somepony, a purple unicorn who was being trailed by a dragon who held a checklist in his hands. The overseer of events in Ponyville for the Summer Sun Celebration, she assumed. She’d heard that somepony would be coming over to make sure everything was running smoothly, and watched as her brother led them around the farm, giving them a few treats to taste, the mare having a happy smile on her face at the end of it all. Clearly everything was going just fine without her. She wasn’t needed on one of the most important days of the year, a thought that made her want to cry. That should’ve been her out there greeting the mare and showing her around, but no. She was sick and forced to stay indoors instead.
“Ugh, Ah hope Ah feel better soon…” Applejack thought to herself sadly. “Granny’s homemade applesauce should do more for me than some little ol’ pill a doctor will give me. Ah hope Ah can meet that mare an’ tell her that Ah helped coordinate things at least, and show her around Sweet Apple Acres, too...”
The next several days were much better than the first five in my opinion. Holiday and Lofty weren’t able to get me any boys' clothes because apparently clothes were more a girl’s thing here, and they didn’t make very many things for boys my size. However, as I requested, they got me books, three to be exact. One on statistics and probability, one on an introduction into calculus, which I guessed was better than nothing even though I largely already knew what was in there, and one on a translation of Ponish to English. Or Ponish to Unicorn Script as they called it. It was a very, very simple looking guide, one made for five-year-olds it looked like, and came with a workbook titled ‘My First Writing Book’ to write what I learned.
It was embarrassing to be handed it, to say the least, but it did help. Not that I was able to memorize more than a few characters. Reading their language was like learning morse code, except more complicated because everything they wrote blended together when they wrote it. Numbers were the same, but each letter and special character was a system of bumps. There were up bumps, down bumps, and flats, which could be either half up or half down. Each letter was represented by a combination of three bumps, for a total of forty four letters, one for each basic sound you could make. It was quite a bit to learn, and was something that would take years to even start to get good at. Luckily though, there were only two days of class left, and Cheerilee was kind enough to accommodate me and write things in English.
Regarding class, somehow we were able to go to the classroom for the last two days of school despite me being sick and effectively closing off Ponyville because of it, although there were quite a bit less kids there than there were before, maybe about half. Namely, those two girls that Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle didn’t like, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, weren’t there, although from what I heard, they weren’t sick, they were just being held out of school because of me. The thought of that still made me feel a bit bad, but Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle seemed to like it.
Other than school, my days largely felt empty. I was used to being active and doing things, either working or sitting in class or at least having the internet to occupy my time. But being both a child and a pony, I had none of those things other than school, and not that much school at that. It meant that my days were mostly spent either reading until I got bored, following Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle around, or sitting around and thinking about how much I didn’t like being here. Which, of course, led to tears more often than I would have liked it to. I felt like I was getting better at controlling myself, but I couldn’t be sure. It certainly felt like it was an everyday occurrence that I cried, or at least every other day. I was still trying to get used to it, the lack of control I had over my emotions, but I found myself getting through it.
Holiday and Lofty looked like they were trying their best to accommodate me, which I appreciated, not that there was much they could do. They did let me go walking out alone when I wanted to, and gave me privacy when I asked for it and referred to me as a boy when they could, and so did Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, at least at home. In public, which was mostly school, there wasn’t much accommodation. Cheeilee effectively ignored me, and I gave up on asking to be called a boy after a few attempts, and even Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were hesitant to call me a boy in public. I knew it wasn’t really their fault, but it still made me upset. But things felt like they were getting slowly better as I settled in, very slowly, and before I knew it, it was the Summer Sun Celebration.
It seemed like there was no sign of my getting diphtheria several days ago because the town was active today, with stands and things set up with games and free food, as well as decorations. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle woke me up early so we can go out and about, and we spent the morning walking around the town, Lofty and Holiday opting to stay at home.
“Oh, let’s get some drinks!” Scootaloo suggested, pointing to a stand stating that it held apple cider. However, right next to it, the sign name of another business caught my attention.
“Wait, hold on. Is that- does that… what is that?” I asked. “Is that- what is a feathers and couches store?”
“Oh, that’s Quills and Sofas,” Sweetie Belle answered. “My sister goes there a lot for their quills when she runs out. I think she bought a sofa there once, too.”
“Wait, do they only sell those two things?” I couldn’t help but ask, completely confused by the idea. “Just quills and sofas? Nothing else?”
“I don’t think so.”
“How do you run a business like that?” I asked, completely taken aback. “What happens if someone else decides to sell quills?”
“Why would somepony else sell quills?” Scootaloo asked innocently.
“To put him out of business and corner the market!” I explained. “I mean, if you only sell two things, and one of those things is just quills, then all I would have to do is sell them as well and make them cheaper, maybe by five or ten percent. I might not even need to do that. If I sell a lot of other stuff, too, then I can mark up the price and still steal business. And I assume not that many people are buying couches, so if someone else sold quills and had, like, the barest basic knowledge of economics, they could eat into whatever profits that store makes easily and take over his market.”
“Well, why would anypony do that? That seems pretty mean, I think.’
“It’s not mean, it’s just business. I don’t need my degree to tell you that unless he sells the best quills in the whole wide world, whatever business structure he has is sitting on a house of cards.”
“Well, I mean, why would anypony want to start selling quills and sofas when he already sells them?”
“To increase their revenue and build their consumer base.” I told them. “I mean, imagine you have a successful business already, and you sell a whole bunch of things, like food and clothes and-”
“Well, well, well, look who it is,” someone interrupted. The three of us turned to see Diamond Tiara and her silver-coated friend marching in our direction, a mean, grinning expression on their faces. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle immediately tensed up and scowled at the sight of them, and I remembered that these two groups didn’t like each other for whatever reason.
“If it isn’t Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and the new girl,” she continued as the two started to circle us. “What are you three doing out here?”
“Leave us alone, Diamond!” Scootaloo told her angrily, already yelling. “Go pick on somepony else.”
“I don’t think we want to,” she responded. “Because it’s your fault we had to get shots last week and stay home from school. I didn’t even get to see Silver Spoon until today because of you three.”
“Actually, because of one of you,” Silver Spoon added, glaring at me, “and I think she has something to tell us.”
The two stopped in front of me, standing side by side, and for a moment, I completely forgot what they were talking about.
“Uhhh… what?”
“Leave her alone!” Sweetie Belle told her, stepping in front of them. “She didn’t do anything to you!”
“Yes she did! She made us have to get shots by being next to us when she was sick, even though she said she wasn’t! I couldn’t see my best friend all week because of her!”
“Oh yeah, that,” I remembered as the four of them began to argue with each other. “Oops.”
“We want her to apologize!” Diamond Tiara demanded. “She made us have to stay home from school because she got sick, and we couldn’t even have our sleepover because of her!”
“That’s not her fault! She doesn’t have to-”
“I’m sorry,” I interrupted loudly before the two groups started to fight and yell more. All four fillies looked at me to continue, and I said, “I’m sorry I got you sick… err, made you have to stay home from school. That was my fault, you’re right. I… should’ve known better. I mean, I couldn’t stop myself from getting sick, but… I shouldn’t have sat so close to you when I was sneezing, even if I thought it was just allergies. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well…” the pink girl trailed off, eyeing me suspiciously, trying to determine if I was being sincere, which I was. “Good. You should have known better.”
“I still don’t see why you have to hang out with those two though,” Silver Spoon added. "I mean, even if you are sick, those two are the worst."
“Asher can hang out with whoever he wants,” Scootaloo responded, still scowling, her use of the word ‘he’ forcing me to suppress both my and my sudden feeling of happiness. Diamond and Silver didn’t pick up on it, which I decided was a good thing for now since I didn’t want them to fight because of me even more.
“Just because she lives with you doesn’t mean she has to be with you two all the time!”
“Yeah, well, I’m sure Asher doesn’t want to be with ponies like you! Right, Asher?”
“Well…” I looked between the two groups, who were now standing side by side, and offered, “Why don’t we all just go together? I mean, we’re just going to get apple cider right? We can just grab drinks together as one big group.”
“We're not getting drinks with them!” all four of them said at the same time, glaring at me as they used their hooves to point at each other.
I rolled my eyes in response, turning around to walk off as I said, “I guess I’ll get apple cider by myself. I'm not going to listen to you guys fight.”
I didn’t turn to see if they were following me, walking right up to the stand and scrunching my nose at a weird smell. It wasn’t bad, but it was familiar, and I couldn’t name it right away. However, I put the thought out of my head as the pony running the stand greeted me, a stallion with a yellowish orange coat and a country accent.
“Why, hello there little filly!” he said politely, wearing a wide smile. “Looking for a glass of Apple family cider?”
“Um, yes please,” I responded, my ears flattening at being called a filly.
“Let me get that made up for ya.” I watched him pour the drink into a glass mug, noticing it foam like it was carbonated as he poured it. As well, the smell got stronger, and I realized it was coming from the drink itself.
“Here ya are!” he told me, handing me the cider. “That’ll be five bits, please!”
“Uhhhh, I don’t-”
“Nah, Ah’m just messin’ with ya. It’s free today. An’ let me get ya a few tickets so you can get drinks later, too.”
“Okay, thank you,” I told him politely, taking a sip and scrunching up my face at the taste.
“Somethin’ wrong?”
“This… this has alcohol in it… that’s what that smell is. It’s alcohol.”
“That’s right, missy,” he confirmed. “That’s why yer only allowed three extra tickets. It’s not healthy for fillies like you ta have more than that at yer age.”
“Aren’t there drinking laws in this place or something? I mean, I’m an adult, but still.”
“Drinkin’ laws?” he asked curiously, tilting his head and raising an eyebrow.
“...never mind. So I get a drink and three tickets? Four total? That seems like… a lot to me…”
“Well, ya don’t have ta use all of ‘em, and if ya look like yer gettin’ too riled up, Ah won’t be giving you any more.”
“Well, I’ll just take this one and that’s it. You keep the rest of my tickets.”
“Are ya sure? You won’t be able ta get any more than that without any tickets.”
“Yeah, I’m sure. It’s fine. Thank you.”
With that, I turned around to see the four girls behind me reluctantly walking up to me to get drinks as well, glaring at each other as they did so. When they looked at me, they gave me a nervous smile for a second before going back to glaring at each other while they grabbed their tickets and drinks, gulping down about half of their glasses in no time at all.
“This world is so weird,” I thought to myself as I took a sip of my apple cider.
“You k- you know… th-the only time we- we can- that they l-let us have- have apple cider is- is- is… holidays… it’s not fair…”
“I’m pretty sure you’ve had enough cider to drink for now, Scootaloo,” I told her as I watched her and the whole group down three drinks in about an hour and a half. In the same time, I’d had about half of mine, and I could tell that these ponies weren’t handling it well.
“But we still have one… um, yeah,” Diamond got out, holding the ticket in one hoof as she finished the rest of her third drink. ”We should just… uh… put the- the thing so we can have our last one. I mean, we have one left, so yeah.”
“I’m pretty sure you four are drunk,” I responded, “and I really don’t think you should have any more.” They clearly had a low alcohol tolerance, but to be fair, they were around ten, which was part of the reason I was taking my drink slow.
“Oh, so you think just because you’re cuter than us you can- can do whatever you want Asher?” Silver Spoon got out, pointing an accusing hoof at me, which caused me to blush, not liking the idea that kids looked at me like that, especially girls. “Who ma-made you queen of the group?”
“Hey, she’s not prettier than me,” Diamond protested, stomping a hoof and almost stumbling because of it.
“I mean, she a little bit is,” Silver responded, making my face go bright red and causing my ears to flatten. “I’d date her if… if she let me. She’s cute.”
“You say that about everypony, Silver. You said that about Button Mash a few days ago.”
“Hey, Button Mash is mine!” Sweetie Belle yelled, sending an angry glare the girl’s way.
“Okay, this subject is making me uncomfortable, so we’re changing it,” I broke in, thoroughly embarrassed that she felt that way about me.
“See, I- I told you three- you two that you two were annoying her,” Scootaloo said. “Although you’re not as bad as I thought you were, so you get a pass this time.”
“Yeah, we thought you’d be- hic- be uh, stuck up and snobby like always,” Sweetie Belle added. “You guys aren’t that bad.”
“You two aren’t that bad either,” Diamond decided. “I- we- I might in-invite you to our sleepover tonight since you’re not as- as lame as we thought.”
“Oh, Asher has to come, too, cause she’s cute,” Silver added, unsteady on her feet.
“You already said that, Silver,” Diamond told her before looking down at her empty mug. “She already said that, guys.”
“Oh look! It’s Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo suddenly got out, flapping her wings wildly as she pointed up to a cloud a bit of a ways away. “Let's go see her! She’s so cool!”
Before I knew it, all four of them were half running, half stumbling over to see her. I couldn’t help but sigh and roll my eyes at the sight, and took another gulp of my cider before heading off after them.
The rainbow haired pony had a smile on her face as I approached her, and I could hear them excitedly chattering as I made my way up to them.
“You’re so cool, Rainbow!”
“How do- how do you clear the clouds so, uh, fast?”
“The cider tastes gooood!”
“I know, I’m amazing, I’m just that awesome, and I haven’t had any yet,” she responded, grinning widely. “Gotta keep my senses sharp for clearing the sky tonight. Although clearly you fillies have had a few. I bet you used all four tickets all at once!" She laughed at that thought, adding, "That’s what I did when I was your age.”
“Nuh-uh!” Sweetie Belle protested. “I still have one! And Asher said she, uh, she didn’t want the rest of her- her tickets and gave them away!”
I should’ve expected it, but I was caught off guard when I was on my back again, nose to nose with the pegasus, her eyes wide open in surprise.
“You gave away your tickets?” she asked suspiciously. “What, do you not like apple cider? I knew you were a spy trying to overthrow Equestria! Wait until Princess Celestia hears about this!”
“Please don’t… put your nose so close to mine,” I asked. “That makes me really uncomfortable, especially since all of you ponies seem to like doing that. I don’t want to keep having my nose touched by you guys, especially not with your noses.”
“Hmmm, well, I’ll let you off this time, spy, but you have to answer one question first. Who is the greatest, fastest, more fearsome pony in all of Equestria?”
“Oh! I know! It’s you!” Scootaloo broke in happily. “It’s you! That’s the answer!”
“Well, it is me, but that wasn’t a question for you, squirt. That was a question for… what’s your name again, kid?”
“Asher, and I’m not a kid, I'm an adult,” I replied. “Aaaaaaaaand, I spilled my drink. Thanks.”
“Sorry, kid, you’re not an adult. But let me get you a new drink, be right back.”
“You don’t need to-” I got out, but was cut off by a rush of wind as she ignored me and flew off back to the stand, reappearing just a few seconds later.
“There you are, one brand new drink,” she said, thrusting the mug in my hands- hooves - as I stood up again. “Sorry about that. But hey, at least you have a full mug now! All good?”
“I guess, but I was going to tell you I didn’t need a new drink-”
“But I got you one anyway because I’m just that awesome, aren’t I? Not many other ponies would’ve done that so quickly, I can guarantee that.”
“Yes, but- actually, never mind,” I decided, realizing that arguing wasn’t going to get me anywhere. “Thank you, I appreciate it,” I said with a little bit of a tone, continuing, “now, I need space please?” I wasn’t claustrophobic yet, but I felt like the more time I spent here, the more I would start to get that way.
“I said I’m sorry,” she told me defensively, coming in closer rather than retreating, forcing me to step back. “I really didn’t mean to spill your drink. I was just playing around.”
“I know, and I-”
“Is this because I flew you around before?” she asked. “I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have done it if I knew I was going to scare you. I’m really sorry.”
“I don’t need you to-”
“What if I made it up to you?” she asked. “I could get you more tickets if you want them. Oh! What if I-”
“Rainbow Dash, look at me!” I finally yelled, loud enough to make her stop and listen. “It’s. Fine. Okay?” I told her. “If it wasn’t fine, I promise I would speak up. But it’s fine, okay? Just please…” I trailed off, trying to think of the right way to say what I wanted to tell her. The first thing that came to mind was ‘back off’, which I knew she wasn’t going to take well given her character. I wanted her to get that I wanted her to back off, but I definitely didn’t want to make her upset.
“Just calm down, please. You’re at seven or eight, and you should be at three, okay? Just calm down and give me space. I promise I forgive you for flying me around and for spilling my drink. I’m not mad at all.”
“Oh. Well, okay,” she responded, frowning a bit before smiling again. “I guess I can get pretty out there, and not everypony can handle me, even at five. I’m just that awesome, aren’t I?”
“Hey, if- if Asher’s- if she’s- he’s… wait, I forgot, are you a colt or a filly?” Sweetie Belle said, causing me to scowl.
“Haha, I guess you fillies have had a little too much if you think she’s a colt,” the rainbow haired pony laughed, and I took a swig of my new mug of cider because of it. “Asher’s definitely a filly.”
“Ugh, I’m not a girl,” I told her grumpily. “I know I look like one, but I’m not.”
“Wait, what?” Rainbow Dash asked, now confused. “You only had one mug, right? Or, like, three-quarters of one anyway. Are you that much of a lightweight? I definitely saw that you had mare parts.” It caused my scowl to deepen and my cheeks to become flushed as my ears flattened like it seemed like they always were.
“I know what I look like,” I said, “but I- just because I have- it doesn’t-”
“I mean, I’d say having those things does make you a filly, Asher. Anypony will tell you that.”
“Ugh, I’m going for a walk.”
Before I knew it, I was sitting, or, in my case, laying on a park bench alone, the girls I was friends with off with Rainbow Dash still, doing something else. I was trying to not let my emotions get the best of me like they seemed to be doing a lot lately, and honestly thought I was doing a pretty good job. The sun on my coat felt good, and even though it was supposed to be the official start of summer today, the weather wasn’t too hot, letting the sun feel more like a comfortable blanket as it shined on me. I breathed slow deep breaths and set my drink in the grass next to me, trying to get relaxed after dealing with what were basically drunk kids for the last couple of hours. I had my eyes closed, and kept them that way for I didn’t know how long, until someone started talking to me.
“Hey there,” an unfamiliar voice started, forcing me to open my eyes. “Do you mind if I sit next to you?”
“No, it’s fine,” I answered quietly, scooting over to give them room. It was a stallion, one with an orangish-brown, almost caramel-colored coat and darker brown hair. I also noticed that, as he sat down, he looked a bit… I didn’t know. Either upset or sad would have been the best way to describe it.
It was silent for a few minutes after that, both of us sitting quietly, not really looking each other's way until he finally asked, “Is something wrong?”
“It’s nothing,” I responded. “I’m just getting worked up over the same dumb things I always do.”
“Oh… well, want to tell me what’s wrong?” I looked up at him, and I knew he could tell I was confused because he added, “I mean, if you want to. You just look really sad to me.”
I was about to ask if someone told him to come up to me and talk to me before I remembered that all of the ponies I met up to this point had personal space issues of some kind. Besides, it wasn’t like whoever this pony was was going to believe me anyway.
“I’m just upset because I’m a girl when I’m supposed to be a boy, and it's annoying to have to tell people all the time and it makes me feel bad. It's the worst thing about being a pony, and I hate it with my whole being, and even if I weren’t in this dumb filly’s body, I’d still be a pony and it would still suck. And it’s probably never going to change, and I’m probably never going to see my family and friends again, and it…” I closed my eyes as I took a breath and used my hooves to rub away the wetness that was building up, continuing, “And it sucks really badly, and I hate it with my whole being.”
He didn’t answer right away, and I saw him tilt his head as though processing what I was saying before starting carefully, “I… think I might be able to say that I- I know a little bit about what you’re going through…”
“Wait, what?” I asked, blinking a bit. “You do?”
“Well, um…” he trailed off nervously, looking around before leaning in closer. “Can you, um, can you keep a secret for me?”
I blushed hard at that as the realization hit me and looked away, responding, “I um… I think…” I looked down at my hooves and twirled them a bit, telling him, “I think I know what you’re going to say…” I looked back at him again to see him blushing as well now.
“What- what do you think I’m going to tell you?” he asked, sounding a bit anxious now, looking at his own hooves for a moment before going back to me. “I mean, um… what do- what do you think?”
“I- I think- I think you’re going to say…”
“What?”
“Um, you’re going to say that- that you’re…”
I didn’t know why, but I didn’t want to say what I knew he was going to tell me. I wasn’t sure why I didn’t want to say it though. I knew what he was going to say, and he knew what he was going to say, and I already told him about me, so it wasn’t like he was going to yell at me or something.
“It’s not the same though,” I thought to myself. “Me saying I’m a boy is different than if he’s about to tell me he’s a girl because I actually am a boy. It’s not the same at all.”
“I… I don’t want to say it.” I got out. “I don’t want to tell you what I’m thinking. It’s easier to pretend you’re not… um… the thing I’m thinking.”
“Oh. Well, um…” I watched him swallow and look away again, simply saying, “Okay. I’m sorry.”
“Ugh, I don’t want to have this conversation at all,” I thought to myself. “I know I’m making him feel bad, but what are the odds that out of all the ponies in this town, this particular pony decides to sit down next to me? Probably a million to one, which means that of course God put him here for me to talk to.”
“I’m sorry,” I apologized, my ears flattening. “I don’t- I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”
“It’s okay. I, um… I think you know what I was… going to tell you anyway. I’ve never actually told anypony else, so… I- I don’t know if that makes you feel better or worse, but um… yeah. I just saw that you looked sad so I wanted to talk to you… I mean, I didn't know that you were going to say you were a boy, but... I'm sorry. I hope I’m not making you feel worse.”
Extremely uncomfortable was what it was making me. I really, really didn’t want to talk to this pony, silently thinking to myself that I’d rather get up and leave right then. Just being around him felt uncomfortable to me. He was kidding himself anyway if he thought that what I thought he was going to say and what I was thinking lined up. He and I weren’t the same at all because I actually was a boy, versus...
“No, stop that,” I told myself silently. “That thinking was- is- the problem in the first place, and is probably the reason you’re like this right now. Even if you want to leave and even if he’s fooling himself, being nice is what you should be doing.”
“So, um… you, um…” I closed my eyes and tried to think about how to say what I wanted to say in the nicest way possible, seeing as I had no experience in this kind of conversation. The idea of just getting up and leaving felt like a good one, but I forced myself to push that thought out of my head and speak.
“Do you, um… think that… you’re a girl? Errr, mare?”
“That’s um… I don’t like the way that question is phrased…” he told me, seeming embarrassed. “But um… I- I... do feel that way, yes…”
“I’m sorry,” I apologized, feeling the urge to leave the conversation grow. However, I forced myself to stay as I continued, “Um, I- I didn’t… I used to actually be a boy before this, as hard as it is to believe, and um… how- how do you deal with… with… you know…? If you want to tell me anyway. I mean, it’s not just me being a girl. I don’t like being a pony in general. But being a girl makes me feel twenty times worse.”
“Well, I- I try to tell myself that eventually it’ll be better, and I’ll be the pony I want to be, even if it’s going to take a long time.”
“But what if it doesn’t change?” I asked. “I mean, I don’t think it’s going to change for me, so… what if it doesn’t ever change?”
“Well, it makes me feel better to tell myself anyway…” he trailed off sadly.
“I guess that makes sense,” I thought to myself. “It’s what I’ve been telling myself, sort of. Although it’s not really the same because he’s… or, I mean… No, I’m not going to call him she, because he’s not actually… ugh, I’m being mean again.”
“I already do that kind of, but I still feel really bad,” I told him.
“Yeah, I know that feeling…”
“I’m sorry.”
Another period of silence followed us, and I couldn’t help but think during it how weird this conversation was. There was no way I should have been able to identify with anything about this pony, and yet I could, and it made me feel bad.
“Ugh, this shouldn’t be happening to me,” I complained. “This sucks and I hate it. I shouldn’t have to deal with this. It’s not… ugh.”
“I’m sorry,” the pony said quietly. “I know exactly how you feel.”
“I don’t think you do…” I mumbled, turning away again.
“I- I do,” he got out. “I know what- what you’re going through and how you feel, kind of at least. I don’t know what you mean when you… talk about being a pony, but I know that-”
“It’s not the same,” I couldn’t help but interrupt, knowing my next words were going to make him upset, but unable to stop myself. “You don’t really know how I feel because you never were a girl whereas I actually did used to be a boy. You’re not actually a girl but I actually am a boy. It’s not the same at all.”
I should’ve known better than to say all of that, because when I turned back to him, he looked like he was about to cry. I instantly frowned at the sight and immediately tried to apologize.
“Wait, hold on, I’m sorry-”
“It’s fine,” he told me, although clearly on the verge of tears, his voice sounding choked up. “I didn’t mean to bother you. I’m sorry.”
“Wait, don’t go…” I tried to say as he got up to leave, sniffling a little bit and giving me one last look before he went away. I felt ashamed of myself because of it, and watched as the pony walked away, head hung low.
“See? This is why you’re like this,” I told myself as I went back to laying down on the bench. “You can’t just be nice to other people.”
Author's Note
A caramel-coated pony named Caramel, because my headcanon is that they're trans.
I sat there laying on the bench for a few minutes before I realized I should probably find that pony and apologize for making them feel bad.
“Even if you’re completely in the right with what you said,” I thought to myself, “that’s still no excuse for being as mean as you were about it. That doesn’t change the fact though that he… or, I mean, she... they... ugh, it’s not the same at all…”
Of course, it was the same. How could it possibly not be? It wasn’t a coincidence that I was effectively a transgender pony with lesbian guardians who was just approached by another trans pony of all people. There was no doubt about the lesson I was supposed to be learning from all this.
“It’s not like I can disagree anyway. Can I even try to disagree, even if I wanted to? Wouldn’t that just be hurting myself? Oh, God, why does this have to happen to me?”
I tried to hold back my tears, and was on the verge of crying right there when someone else, somepony else, interrupted me.
“Awww, what are you doing sitting there crying all alone for, Asher?” someone, Pinkie, started. “You should be out having fun with your friends, silly filly.”
“It’s kind of hard to do when everyone here calls me a filly,” I retorted, my voice cracking as I spoke. “Not that I don’t deserve it, since I can’t help but be mean, but…” I grumbled angrily, my eyes still wet as I continued, “It’s not like I was out protesting against trans people or something! Everything I thought, I kept internal! It’s not fair!”
“Oh, I don’t think you’re a mean filly, Asher,” she told me, which actually did make me start to cry. “You seem serious a lot of the time, but I don’t think you’re mean, and I’m sure your friends don’t think you’re mean, either!”
I could feel the tears dripping down and then the hug that followed a moment later, which only served to make me more upset.
“Get off of me!” I said through my tears, although I didn’t push her away much. “None of you ponies know how to give me space. Just let me cry on my own for a while.”
“Oh, but hugs make everything better!” she said cheerily, which annoyed me. “But you know what’s even better than a hug? A party! And guess who’s throwing a party? That’s right! It’s me! The best party planner in Ponyville!”
“I really don’t feel like going to a party, Pinkie…” I said half-heartedly, sniffling as I lay my head on the bench while her hooves stayed wrapped around me. “Can I just be by myself for now, please?”
“Oh, I’m sure a party will make you feel better. It’s for an even newer pony in Ponyville named Twilight Sparkle, and it’s going to be at her library! Doesn’t that sound like fun?”
“Not really, but…”
I suddenly thought back to when I was alone with Celestia, and how she said something was going to happen today with her sister and that pony. I was pretty sure she said it was going to happen with that pony, Twilight Sparkle. Not that there was anything I could do. In fact, she specifically told me Twilight would handle it, which was fine by me. I basically already knew what I was doing here, and anything to do with this holiday wasn’t it. Also, although I couldn’t be sure, I had a sneaking suspicion that Twilight was the pony she wanted me to live with.
“I mean…” I started as I tried to rub my eyes, unable to because my limbs were tied up in her grasp. “I really don’t want to, but… where is it going to be at?”
“It’ll be in Golden Oaks Library, and it’ll be a fun, fun, fun time! I’m sure you’d really, really like it! Plus, we can make it a surprise, and you can tell Twilight what being the new pony in Ponyville is like and how to make all sorts of friends like you have!”
“I'm not sure about all that but... maybe,” I sighed. “I’ll… think about it, okay?”
“Oh, please don’t be so sad, silly filly,” she suddenly told me, moving up to rub her cheek against mine and rubbing the wetness around. “Seeing you sad makes me feel sad, and I want you to feel better.”
“Why do you care though?” I asked. “You don’t even know me- well, you saw me for about a minute like two weeks ago.”
“And I threw you that amazing party, remember? Wasn’t it the most fun ever? You even made some new friends so you wouldn't be all alone!”
“It was… a nice thing for you to do for me,” I told her politely, making sure not to tell her that I didn't really care for it, “but that doesn’t really answer my question. Why do you care so much?”
“Because you’re my friend, and cheering up my friends is just what Pinkie’s here to do, silly filly!”
“Please don’t call me a filly,” I told her, making a face and sniffling as I tried to get my emotions under control. “I’m not a girl, and I don’t want to be called one, especially not a silly one.”
“Okie dokie loki!” she responded cheerily, still not releasing me from the hug she had me in. “Can I call you a silly colt then? Or maybe just a silly foal?”
“Being called a colt would be nice, because, I don’t know if I told you before, but I am a boy.”
“A colt with filly parts?” she asked. “You must be one very silly colt then, Asher! You’re so weird, and that’s what makes you fun! Which is why you should go to the party I’m throwing for Twilight Sparkle! What do you say?”
“Well… I’ll go since you’re being nice to me and said you’d call me a boy, but-”
“Perfect! We only have five hours until the party starts, which means we need to get started right away!” With that, she placed me on her back and dragged me with her to the library to get ready for the party.
Twilight went through her day making sure everything was in order for the Summer Sun Celebration, visiting Rainbow Dash after the four fillies she was talking to had left. After she coerced her into clearing the sky like she was supposed to (and getting her mane messed up in the process), she went over to the town hall to visit Rarity, and gave her quite a shock when the unicorn saw her mane. After a little while with her getting her mane fixed and styled a bit, she went off to see Fluttershy to check on the music for the holiday, quickly getting annoyed by the quiet mare’s somehow incessant chatter with Spike. Overall, it took the mare a few hours to get through everything she had to do, and her annoyance with the ponies in Ponyville was quite high after all was said and done.
“Humph, rude much?” Spike asked with a frown after Twilight pushed Fluttershy out of Golden Oaks Library.
“Sorry, Spike,” she apologized to the dragon, “but I have to convince the princess that Nightmare moon is coming, and we’re running out of time! Plus, I need to find that filly so I can make space for her, and I can’t do that with a bunch of crazy ponies trying to make friends all the time! Now where’s the light switch?”
“Surprise!” the whole room said at the same time as the place lit up, Pinkie Pie’s voice cutting through the group the most. “Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for you!” the pink pony told her. “Were you surprised? Were you? Were you? Huh? Huh? Huh?” she asked, already grating on the unicorn’s nerves.
“Very surprised,” the mare being asked answered. “Libraries are supposed to be quiet .”
“Well that’s silly! What kind of welcome party would this be if it were quiet? I mean, duh! Booooooring! You, see, I saw you when you first got here, remember? You were all…”
Twilight groaned, already worn out from her, and began to walk away to pour herself a drink of apple cider, debating what she should do as she did so. Everything in Ponyville was already set up for the Summer Sun Celebration, so that wasn’t an issue. Not that it would be if everything weren’t. The main concern for tonight was Nightmare Moon’s reappearance and the Elements of Harmony, which she had to prepare for, another secondary concern being that filly, Ashley she thought the princess said. Celestia was going to meet with her to formally introduce the two of them. She wondered what importance she had that she wanted Twilight to take care of her.
Speaking of the filly, just as the mare was about to take a sip of the cider she was pouring (which was actually hot sauce), she caught sight of her. She looked just how she remembered the couple of times she saw her before. A bright silver coat and a perfectly golden mane with deep blue eyes. Twilight wasn’t a pony who was particularly concerned about the way she looked, but she had to admit, seeing her now made her just a teensy bit jealous. Not very, but a little. She also noted the small look of annoyance she had as she stood a bit of a distance away from a few other fillies her age, occasionally making a comment but mostly staying out of the conversation they were having.
“And that’s Asher!” Pinkie Pie introduced as Twilight trotted up to her. “He was the newest pony in Ponyville until you came around! Isn’t that exciting? You should say hello to him! But make sure not to call him a silly filly! He said he doesn’t like that.”
The words Pinkie said put a blush and a shy, happy smile on her face, words that she liked to hear. Twilight however, rolled her eyes at the thought. She almost didn’t believe the princess when she said she wanted to be called a colt, and thought the idea of it was ridiculous.
“Hello, ma’am,” Twilight started politely, intentionally making sure to use the word and instantly causing Asher’s smile to drop into a scowl. “My name is Twilight Sparkle. I believe we’ve met before?”
“Not really,” the filly responded, “but I... think I remember you. Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and I saw you here for like a second when we were coming to study before you ran off.”
“Heh heh, yeah,” Twilight got you as she rubbed a hoof behind her head, a bit embarrassed. “That was rude of me, I’m sorry. I should’ve introduced myself to you guys back there. But as I said, I’m Twilight Sparkle. And you are?”
She said and, sounding a bit reluctant, said, “My name is Asher, and, um… I think Celestia said I was supposed to live with you?”
“Well, that’s Princess Celestia to you, Asher, although you’re right about that. Princess Celestia did tell me to keep an eye on you. You know we had to close off Ponyville to outsiders because of you?”
“Yes, I know,” she said, her ears flattening in embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to mess up the holiday for all of you.”
“Well, good,” Twilight told her sternly. “This is the most important day of the year, and everything should be just perfect for Princess Celestia. She wouldn’t want anypony causing a mess.”
Asher’s scowl deepened as she rolled her eyes, already not liking Twilight’s confrontational style.
“So… am I living with you starting tonight?” she asked. “Because if so, I need to tell Miss Holiday and Lofty.”
“I’m not sure, but I don’t see why not. As I said before, Princess Celestia told me she would formally introduce us, but she did tell me a little bit about you before. She said you were like me when I was young, and said you were quite the smart little filly.”
“I… I’m not a girl…” Asher trailed off quietly at that remark, looking at her hooves.
“Oh, Princess Celestia did say something about that before,” Twilight remembered again. “She said you were a girl who would rather be called a boy.”
“I want to be called a boy because I’m not a girl at all,” she couldn’t help but say. “I know I don’t look like one,” she explained, “but I actually am a boy.”
“I mean, you’re not,” Twilight told her simply. “Just because you say you are doesn’t make you one, silly filly.” It made her cheeks red with anger and her already lack of fondness for her turned into dislike. She knew she just added that last bit because Pinkie Pie had said she didn’t like it. She looked up to the pink mare to gauge her reaction, but noticed she was long gone by that point.
There was a little bit of shame mixed into her emotions, too. It was largely the same thing she told that other pony, and now it was being told to her. It made her feel bad to hear, just because it was what she thought a lot of the time when she was a human, and lately what she thought about herself some of the time in Equestria.
“I actually used to be a colt- err, a boy. I was turned into a girl, so it’s not-”
“I mean, I’m not sure I believe that,” Twilight interrupted, “since magically changing your sex is something that's only theoretical, but even if that’s true, you’re not one right now, so that makes you a girl. I mean, you can’t just say you’re a boy and then be a boy. That’s ridiculous.”
“Ugh, I’m not- I don’t- I’m…” Asher closed her eyes and took a breath, more shame starting to kick in as the tears welled up again. She really didn’t want to cry in front of the mare if she could help it.
“Damn it, I was so mean to that other pony. Why did I have to act like that to him… her? I need to find them and apologize.”
Author's Note
I do believe this chapter was the first in which Asher uttered a curse word!
“Well, that was an interesting conversation,” Twilight thought to herself as she picked up her drink again, watching the filly walk away with a mixture of anger and sadness. “Is that why Celestia wants her to live with me? I wonder what she’s going to tell me when she introduces us…”
She wondered if maybe she was a bit rude before deciding that she wasn’t. After all, if she really was a colt, Princess Celestia would’ve said she was, but she didn’t. She only said she wanted to be called a colt. That was an important distinction, and Twilight decided that, even if her words might have hurt, she did well to try and set the filly straight before she got out of hand. She was doing a good thing, she figured, as she started to take a sip of her drink.
“Oh, whoa there, dear!” somepony, Rarity, got out. “You’re about to take a sip of hot sauce! You wouldn’t want that, I believe.”
“Eeyup,” Big Mac agreed simply, standing next to the unicorn.
“Although I gotta say, it would be pretty funny to see,” somepony else chimed in, a pegasus with a cyan coat and goldish yellow mane agreed.
“You can say that again,” another pegasus chimed in, one with a rainbow-colored mane, giggling at the thought. “That would so be a good idea for a prank!
“Heck, yeah, it would!” The two flew up to each other, the cyan pegasus introducing, “My name’s Lightning Dust.”
“Rainbow Dash,” Rainbow Dash said coolly.
“Thank you, um, Rarity,” Twilight got out, somehow remembering her name. “But now, if you’ll excuse me-”
“And where exactly do you think you’re going, darling?” the white-coated unicorn asked. “This is your party. You’re the new mare in Ponyville. I believe you should introduce yourself to us.”
“Eeyup,” Big Mac said again, the other two nodding as well as they eyed each other.
“This is going to be a long night,” Twilight sighed to herself.
I had a hunch that the pony I was speaking to earlier would be here, and sure enough, I found them in the back near a table, grabbing a plate of cupcakes with their teeth. The sight of them made me cringe, and I honestly debated for a second whether I should go up to talk to them or just leave them alone. However, before I could decide, they caught sight of me and immediately frowned once we made eye contact.
“Ugh, just do it,” I told myself, feeling slightly ashamed of the conversation I had with them earlier. “Just go up and talk to them and apologize. I don’t think God needs to make it any more clear. I just… I’m almost certain I know what the lesson is, but… ugh, it doesn’t make sense.”
I took a second to close my eyes and let out a prayer, saying, “Lord, please let your will be your will, and let your hand guide me. Please, just give me an indication that I’m… doing what’s right in talking to this pony.” With that, I walked up to them and tried to start the conversation
“Um, hey, um…” It was a struggle to get the next sentence out, but I closed my eyes and forced myself to say it, trying my very best not to cringe as I did so.
“Excuse me, um… m-ma’am?” I said, watching them blush and look away as I did so, giving a tiny smile. They didn’t say anything as they tried to wipe the wide grin off their face, and they used their eyes to direct me to a farther corner of the room to talk in while they set the tray down.
“Um,” the pony started in a whisper, their eyes darting around the room looking to see if anyone else was near us, “I, um… not everypony knows about… um, me. Like I told you earlier, you, um, you’re the only pony I’ve told…”
“I’m sorry,” I responded. “I just wanted to apologize for being mean to you earlier. It wasn't... it was mean. I’m sorry.” I had my ears flattened in embarrassment as I spoke.
“It’s okay,” the pony told me, going back to a kind of uncomfortable look. “It’s why I don’t tell ponies, cause I…” They trailed off with a sigh, hanging their head low as they did so, making me feel even worse about how I spoke to them before.
“I’m sorry…” I told them again. “Um, can I… ask what your name is?”
“Caramel. My name matches my coat color. What’s yours?”
“Asher…”
“Well, that’s a nice name to fit a… handsome colt like you.”
“You… did that on purpose to make me smile,” I responded, trying to stop myself but smiling anyway as I looked at the table.
“And it worked, didn’t it?”
“Yes, it did. And um…” I got quieter as I tried not to grimace when I continued, “You… you’re… y-you’re a v-very… a very n-nice l… l-l-lady...”
I took a breath to keep myself from physically flinching at my words, looking up for a moment to see Caramel smile and give a tiny giggle. It felt so much like I was doing what was wrong in talking to them and calling them a girl, but I forced myself to keep that thought to myself. They were being nice to me and going out of their way to try and make me smile. The least I could do was be nice to them and humor them, even if it felt very wrong of me to do.
"Should I humor them though?" I thought to myself. "Is that an okay thing to do? Lord, I don't understand this at all..."
“Um, I have to know, um… why don’t you want to tell people you’re…?” I asked, a few seconds of silence passing before I did.
“Ah, well, I mean…” Caramel trailed off, clearly embarrassed. “Um… I- I don’t think… I mean… you know.” I frowned as they looked away for a moment in embarrassment before continuing, “I mean, I look and sound like this, so… it’s just going to… yeah…”
“I mean… well… isn’t there something you can do?” I asked, feeling very uncomfortable as I did so. “I mean, if it was me… well, it is me, kind of, but… I would tell people. Or, I have been telling people. It’s been about a fifty-fifty shot if they listen to me though. But regardless, wouldn’t it make you feel better?”
“I- I don’t like confrontation. I really don’t. I don’t want to… it’s hard. I really, really don’t want to have to tell ponies things. I don’t want to have to say…” Caramel paused to sigh before telling me, “If I just looked how I wanted to look and sounded how I wanted to sound, then I wouldn’t need to say anything. But I don’t…”
I paused at that statement, letting it roll around in my head for a few moments before asking all of a sudden, “Does it get better?”
“What? Does what get better?”
“I mean, like… how long have you felt, um, how you feel?”
“I- I don’t know… years? A long time…”
“Well, um… have you always known it was… um, that?”
“No, but, like... it took until about a few years ago until I realized what it was that was making me not like myself and physically uncomfortable looking at myself.”
“Have you ever… like, has it gotten worse? Or does it get better at all?”
The pony sighed, saying, “I don’t know. It feels like… well, some days it's… ugh…”
“I’m sorry. I- dang it, I hate this. Is there… ugh.”
“Is there what?”
“Nothing.”
I was going to ask if there was something that could be done about our situation, but that prospect made me very uncomfortable. Once again, I was getting the feeling like I was doing the wrong thing. If God put me here and made me a female pony, then I couldn’t really go against that, could I? Besides, I was pretty sure I remembered Celestia saying that there wasn’t anything that could be done. Not that that was a reason to give in, seeing as I didn’t know how I felt about trusting her very much, but still.
“Lord, please,” I started in prayer, pausing for a moment before deciding what I wanted to say. “Let your will be your will, and help me to follow that will to the best of my ability. And please help me to feel better about all of this, and help this pony to feel better about themselves, too.”
As I finished, the feeling of doubt started to creep in. Did God really do all of this? If he created male and female in his image, then how could any of this be okay at all? It didn’t make sense. There was no way that it was okay at all, even in my case, especially if God was the one who made me like this.
Of course, that princess certainly didn’t seem to think that was what happened. She thought something called a worldgate sent me here and changed me into a pony, and a female because apparently I’d always secretly wanted to be one. I knew that was completely ridiculous, since I’d never thought that once and was extremely uncomfortable with what my life had been for the last couple of weeks. However, the idea that I was taking away the wrong message or doing the wrong thing built up, and it made me afraid. I didn’t like being a girl, and the idea that I was meant to be one by God was scary because it gave Celestia’s theory more credibility. It meant that God might not exist, and that was a truly scary prospect to me. The idea that Celestia might be right about her theory of some portal sending me here and making me a pony made me breathe faster and start to get worked up.
“Don’t hyperventilate,” I told myself as I closed my eyes. “Don’t hyperventilate. There’s no way He’s not real. Being a pony right now is proof of that. This isn’t all just a coincidence. There’s no way this is. God is real, and that’s a fact, seeing as He’s proven it to you before. Don’t start getting dumb ideas in your head. Even if it doesn’t make sense, that doesn’t change the fact that He exists. Even if it feels like the worst ever or being trans is still a bad thing, even if you're forced to be a pony forever and a girl one at that, it doesn’t change the fact that He exists. More than once he’s proved that, countless times in fact. Actually, my suffering right now proves that. How I feel reaffirms the fact that you exist, Lord, and I thank you for that, even as awful as it feels. Maybe that’s why I’m the way I am now, so that I don’t lose faith in you.”
I let that thought wash over me, letting myself be comforted by the reminder of God’s existence. It was a nice feeling, and helped me get relaxed once again.
“Are you okay, Asher?” Caramel asked me, and I almost jumped, forgetting for a moment that they were there.
“Yes, I’m fine. I’m just trying to not have an anxiety attack for no reason.”
“Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset.”
“You didn’t make me upset. It’s just…” I looked around for a second before waving a hoof and continuing, “Everything. Being a pony, being a girl-”
“I thought you said you were a boy, silly colt!” Pinkie suddenly said behind me, startling me. “Oh, are you making friends with Caramel? Hi, Caramel! This is Asher! He just moved to Ponyville, and we threw a party for him at Scootaloo’s house, but you weren’t able to come cause you were in Appleloosa, but now you’re meeting him here at Twilight’s party, and it’s just so exciting! You’re making friends with two new ponies, and it’s amazing!”
Being referred to as a boy reflexively put a smile on my face as I felt a wave of happiness overtake me again. It took a few seconds for me to realize what exactly had happened, and once I did, my happiness felt more intense.
“Lord, I know you’re watching and hearing me. There’s no way it’s a coincidence she came over here and made me feel happy right as I was feeling bad about myself, and I thank you for it. I thank you for always being there.”
I saw Caramel glancing at me as Pinkie talked, the corners of their mouth moving up when they saw me smiling. I blushed because of it, and wondered if that automatic smile and feeling of happiness I always got was what they got, too, when I called them ma’am.
“I’ve known Caramel since forever, Asher! He’s a great pony to have as a friend! Oh! Maybe he could introduce you to other ponies, too! That way you can have even more friends!”
“Um, Pinkie Pie?” the pony started. “I, um, I- could you…” They trailed off and blushed, looking to me for a moment before looking at their hooves. I blushed too, and despite trying not to, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of aversion to what I knew they were about to ask.
“Oh! You want a party to celebrate making friends with Asher? I’ve never thrown a making friends party! It sounds like so much fun!”
“Oh, well, I was just going to- to say that, um… if you wanted to call me a mare, that would be nice…”
She paused for a second and blinked at them, and I could tell that they were about to backtrack before she said cheerily, “Oki doki loki, ma’am! Anything for a friend! I’m sure Asher wouldn’t mind, either, since you’re such a nice mare!” Caramel practically squealed, they were giggling so much, their smile covering their whole face, and it made Pinkie giggle too.
“But um,” they started again after a moment, still smiling, “could you, um, just keep this between us three? I- I really, really like it, but I don’t want other ponies to know, um, at least not yet. Please?”
“Absolutely positively! You can count on me, ma’am!” She gave a little salute to them before hopping away like a rabbit.
“Aaah, sweet Celestia, that was amazing!” Caramel said happily, giving a little shiver and prancing in place for a moment. “I can’t believe that actually happened! That was amazing!”
“I’m glad,” I told him, giving a smile and trying not to think about how it made me cringe. I opened my mouth to say something else, but stopped and decided to just smile politely instead. It was very tough to smile without grimacing. It felt like agreeing with them and saying they were a girl was the wrong thing, even though having Pinkie call me a boy made me feel nice and happy and felt perfectly normal.
“It’s because it's not the same,” I thought to myself. “I mean, I still need to be nice, but it's not the same. I’m not going to be mean, but… is it really okay to encourage them? This can’t be right, can it? There’s no way that this is right... but I don't want to be like that other pony, Twilight. She was just rude.”
“Thank you, Asher,” Caramel told me, still smiling. “You really did make me feel better and more confident in myself. I never would’ve asked her to call me a mare if you wouldn’t have talked to me. Thank you. Ah, Celestia, I feel so happy right now!”
“It’s no trouble,” I told the pony simply.
We only talked for a little while more before Caramel and I parted. They offered me a few cupcakes before starting to walk away to another part of the party.
“I… you don’t act like a colt,” they said as they turned around for one last comment. “I mean, you seem like an adult, not a foal. That’s what I meant.”
“I mean, I- actually... the short answer is that I am, but I don’t want to get into all of that right now. But it’s nice to be treated like one. Thank you.”
“If, um, if you ever want to talk again, I live near Sugarcube Corner.”
“That big gingerbread looking place?”
“Yeah. I'm the house right behind it. It’d be nice to talk to you again, as weird as it sounds, since, you know… but you don’t have to come by if you don’t want to.”
“I will. I’ll stop by. It’s nice to… learn more about... and… yeah. I’ll come by.”
The pony blushed and gave a small smile before telling me, “Thank you. Really. I- you really did make me feel better about myself, and much more confident than I was before. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I replied simply. “It’s no trouble at all. Thank you for the conversation.”
With that, they started off, leaving me alone for good. I took a seat at the table we were at and sat by myself for a while, thinking over what just happened for a few minutes before Holiday and Lofty arrived.
“There he is, our favorite colt,” Holiday greeted, smiling once she saw my own smile form because of her words. “What are you doing here all alone? You know this is a party dear.”
“I was just talking to- wait, what are you two doing here?” I asked, a bit confused.
“We were invited here just like you, sweetie,” she answered.
“You can’t decline one of Pinkie Pie’s parties if you can help it,” Lofty added, “even if you're an older mare like us.”
“Well, I guess that makes sense,” I decided, figuring I wouldn’t question it. “I still don’t really know what this holiday is about though, except that it’s the start of summer here.”
“It’s just that, the start of summer,” Holiday explained. “The sun is raised as a celebration to Princess Celestia because she’s the ruler of Equestria and protects it.”
I could only roll my eyes at that explanation, saying, “For someone who says she’s not a god, she certainly has no problem with being deified like she is.”
“Deified?”
“Yeah, she has a holiday dedicated to her and people say that she’s benevolent and all powerful, and I’m pretty sure I heard someone tell me ‘Celestia bless you’. If that’s not being deified, then I don’t know what is. I mean, you wouldn’t just use her name like that if you didn’t consider her practically a god.”
“Oh, sweetie, we don’t…” Holiday started before trailing off in thought. “Well, I guess we kind of do treat her like that. But to be fair, she is the ruler of Equestria. She deserves it.”
“Of course she does,” I replied sarcastically, rolling my eyes. “Anyway, is there a main event to this holiday? When does it end? Is it just a celebration?”
“There is a main event,” Lofty explained. “It’s when Celestia raises the sun. It commemorates her rule as Princess of Equestria and the start of the Summer Solstice. As well, it's the longest day of the year because she keeps it raised for a full twenty-four hours, midnight to midnight. This year, we’re going to gather in the town hall to watch it. The princess should be there, too, since this year’s holiday is being held here.”
“Speaking of which, where are those fillies?” Holiday asked. “Are they here? We were all going to go watch it together.”
“I don’t know. I haven’t seen them in a few minutes. Which reminds me, they’re going to be very hungover tomorrow. They drank four mugs of cider all at once.”
“Haha, that’s Scootaloo for you,” the pegasus laughed. “Yeah, they’re not gonna enjoy tomorrow morning if that’s the case, but it’s nothing a little time and some sleep won’t cure.”
“Oh, actually, I do think I know where they’re at. They and I are supposed to have a sleepover with two other fillies, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.”
The two mares blinked at me like I had just sprouted a pair of wings, Lofty asking, “With who? How did you manage that? Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle hate those two fillies, and honestly, I don’t care for them much myself.”
“What do you mean? I know they don’t like each other, but-”
“They don’t just not like each other, Asher, they absolutely despise each other. As in, they’re at each other's throats the moment they see each other, mostly because those two fillies tease the whole class, especially them. They get it from their parents I think. Completely spoiled rotten, honestly, and Cheerilee can’t do a thing about it because of their parents’ social status.”
“Well, I mean, they’re ten if I remember correctly, and… schoolchildren? So it’s not like it’s hard to get them to get along.”
“I don’t think you understand just how deep their dislike for each other went back.”
“Well… I mean, I guess it wasn’t that deep, seeing as we’re gonna have a sleepover tonight. Although to be fair, they were kind of drunk, but still.”
“And you’re going with them, right, Asher?” Holiday asked. “I don’t really trust them going to a sleepover with those two without you there.”
“Yes, I’ll go. I already said I would, even though I’d rather not. Actually, I'd rather do anything else. I'm only going because I know if I don't they'll keep fighting over me, and that's even worse. Oh, by the way, when is the last day I’m supposed to be staying with you? I guess tonight, right?”
“I think so, but Princess Celestia didn’t exactly tell us. But I mean, we don’t stay in Ponyville full time. We’re only here for part of the year when Scootaloo’s parents are away, and I’m not sure if Celestia would want you to come with us to our house. It’s a bit of a ways away from Ponyville.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure she wants me to live with Twilight, so probably not. But, um…” I blushed as I continued, “It would be nice to see you guys again sometime.”
“Of course we’ll see you again,” Holiday smiled kindly. “You’re a very nice colt to have with us, Asher. Oh, and we’ll make sure you get your stuff before you go to whoever you’ll be living with.”
“Thank you. I appreciate what you’ve done. And even though I’m not sure if you believe me, thank you for treating me like an adult and calling me a boy. It’s made the last few weeks of dealing with… this easier than it might have been. I appreciate it.”
“It’s no trouble at all, dear.” With that, the two kissed, and I had to close my eyes and force myself not to cringe or let out an annoyed breath.
“Be nice, be nice, be nice. Even if you don’t agree with it, the least you can do is be nice. You already know that this is the reason you’re here. Even if you’re not saying anything out loud, you should still be nice in your head.”
“How have you been though today, Asher?” the mare asked. “Have you been enjoying the holiday?”
“It could’ve been better,” I answered. “I don’t know. It’s been kind of stressful. But that’s mostly my fault. But it hasn’t been too bad, other than a few moments. How has your day been?”
“Oh, we’ve been well, thank you for asking. We just want to make sure you’re doing well, Asher. We know that this is very tough on you, this, um… situation.”
“It’s okay. I’ve been getting used to it, I think anyway. I mean, I could be better, but I’m not too bad. It's... kind of a weird thing to get used to, but I think I am.”
“Are you sure? You know you can talk to us about anything,” Lofty told me.
“I’m sure. It’s just- I feel like I’ve had to deal with a lot of stuff I don’t want to deal with today. But I’m better now, I think. I’m just a little stressed out, but I basically always am lately, so it’s not like it’s anything I’m not used to.”
“Well, if you say you’re okay, then we’ll take that. But we did want to let you know that it was nice living with you kiddo, even if you weren't- er, aren’t- exactly a kid.”
“Thank you,” I responded politely. "It was nice living with you, too, and honestly, I’d prefer to stay with you two if I could. You helped me learn some new things, and honestly, it was a nice experience. Thank you.”
“Awww, it’s no trouble at all sweetie,” Holiday said bashfully. “Anyway, we were going to head over to the town hall to watch the sunrise soon. Did you want to help us find those fillies and watch it with us?”
“Sure. I have nothing better to do anyway.”
“Wow, you two really don’t know each other?” Twilight Sparkle asked, speaking to Rainbow Dash and Lightning Dust. “You’re both practically the same in every way. I’d have thought you were sisters.”
“I would think so as well, Rainbow,” Rarity commented. “I mean, you and this mare share almost everything in common it seems.”
“Ha! It seems so!” Lightning Dust agreed. “How have we never met each other before today?”
“I don’t know, but yeah, if you want to talk about sisters, Fluttershy is practically my sister. I’ve known that pegasus since flight school in Cloudsdale, and we’ve been friends just as long.”
“Oh, well, I’m sure it hasn’t been that long, Rainbow,” Fluttershy said shyly. “I mean, I do remember you helping me out when I was a foal against those bullies.”
“Haha, yeah, you were the smallest pony there! You needed somepony strong like me there to defend you. Where would you be without me?” Rainbow Dash grinned at her, and Fluttershy blushed and smiled shyly because of it.
“You know, for a group of friends, you all have such contrasting personalities,” Twilight Sparkle commented. “I’d think you guys wouldn’t hang out with each other at all, honestly.”
“Oh, that’s what making friends is all about, dear,” Rarity told her. “Finding different ponies and striking up conversation with them! Speaking to somepony who was exactly the same as you would be the same as talking to yourself, and I think everypony here can agree that’s no fun at all.”
“Eeyup.”
“Plus, how do you plan on learning new things without friends?” Rainbow asked. “Like new tricks to impress the Wonderbolts! Or, I guess magic spells in your case. Point is, other ponies expand your horizons.”
“Hmmm… I guess I never really thought about it like that…” Twilight admitted, considering the prospect. “I mean, I guess I could try and-”
“Hey guys!” Pinkie Pie suddenly shouted, getting everypony’s attention. “As super duper fun as this new pony party is, we need to get to the town hall to watch Princess Celestia raise the sun! It’s gonna be so much fun!”
“Dang it! How long have I been standing here talking to you guys?” Twilight gave an annoyed huff and stomped a hoof as she grumbled, “So much for what friends have gotten me.”
Author's Note
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“Hmmm… most of the ponies here are girls…” I noticed as I stood with Lofty and Holiday, looking around at the crowd. “There’s hardly any stallions…”
“I have a question,” I started to them. “Where are all the boys?”
“What do you mean, Asher?”
“Well… I mean, all these people are girls,” I explained. “If it’s such an important holiday and the whole town is here, shouldn’t there be more men?”
“Haha, how many stallions do you think there are, kiddo?” Lofty asked.
“I would think it’s a one-to-one ratio,” I answered. “Or like, a few decimals over a one to one for males to females. There should be slightly more stallions than mares, but not by a lot. I mean, that’s how it is with humans, and I would think it’s the same with horses, too. I don't see how it would be different”
“Ummmm… well, here in Ponyville, I think the ratio of mares to stallions is three to one or four to one if I remember correctly.”
I looked at them with surprise and tilted my head, almost not buying it. “Four to one? Are you sure about that? That… doesn’t sound like something that exists in nature and I’m pretty sure a species would die out with numbers like that.”
“That’s just here in Ponyville, sweetie. For other places-”
“Um, can you please not call me sweetie?”
“Right, I forgot. I’m sorry. Anyway, I’m sure for other places it’s closer to one to one, but mares have always outnumbered stallions in Equestria, at least as far as I know.”
“How? That doesn’t seem like something that should exist. Wouldn’t that result in inbreeding?”
“Inbreeding?”
“It’s- actually, no. I’m not gonna be-”
“You’re gonna come with us to our sleepover tonight right?” Diamond Tiara interrupted, suddenly appearing behind Lofty, Holiday and I as we stood in the large ballroom of the town hall. The two mares turned around faster than I did, looking completely surprised that Diamond Tiara was speaking to me, even more so when they saw Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle with them. They still looked a little bit out of it, even after so long, but they looked and sounded much better now than several hours ago.
“Yeah, you promised you would go,” Scootaloo added. “And we want to go, so that means you have to go, Asher.”
“Plus, Diamond’s parents are gonna let us have more cider,” Silver Spoon jumped in. “So we can have as much as we want.”
“I’ll go if you guys aren’t drinking more,” I told them, remembering what Silver said about me earlier that day and shifting uncomfortably at the thought. “You guys have had enough for the whole year, honestly.”
“Awww come on,” Sweetie Belle said. “Don’t be a sour puss. You’ve barely had any anyway.”
“Yeah, and the way you guys acted is the reason why. I really don’t feel like dealing with a bunch of drunk little girls. It’s part of the reason why I left you guys in the first place? Besides, it’s not good to drink a lot. Too much is bad for your health.”
“What if we only had… had one? I mean, two? Pleeeeeeaaasssse?”
“Ugh, fine. But only if it’s two. I really don’t want to deal with you guys drinking all night. That’s not what I consider to be a good time.”
“Are you sure, Asher? And you, too, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo? I mean, they’re not gonna be mean to you, will they?”
“Nuh-uh. We like them now,” Scootaloo answered. “Diamond’s not really too bad, I think.”
“Yeah, and Scootaloo is not completely lame,” the pink filly agreed, “so I’m gonna let them come to my sleepover.”
“Um, well… okay, I- I guess…” Lofty stuttered, sounding shocked. “Um, what time are you girls gonna be back? I mean, you girls and Asher?”
“Um, I don’t know, tomorrow probably?” Scootaloo answered. “We’re gonna be back later, after tonight. “
“Okay, but if you do have any problems, make sure to come to us, okay?” Holiday instructed, warily glancing at Diamond and Silver. With that though, everyone turned their attention to the front of the room in anticipation. A yellow pegasus directed a chorus of birds to sing before a spotlight shone on a brown, grey-haired lady. She wore glasses and a green bow and looked to be in charge of the event we were about to watch.
“Fillies and gentlecolts,” the mare spoke with a British sounding accent, “as mayor of Ponyville, it is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration.” As she said it, she rolled her Rs on her tongue fancily, her words getting a loud cheer from the crowd.
“In just a few moments,” she continued, “our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year.”
I thought I saw something flash above me, and looked up to see the moon, which was still high in the sky, being only around midnight. No one else nearby noticed, but I thought I saw the purple pony I met at the party look up as well and mutter to herself a few yards away from me near the center of the crowd. I looked back up along with her and frowned to myself as I saw the face of the moon change, from a unicorn to a completely blank canvas of a celestial body.
“That’s… a bit unnerving,” I thought to myself, “but that princess did say that something was going to happen tonight, so it’s not like it’s out of the blue. I think she said that her student was going to take care of it, so it’s probably nothing.” Still, it made me a bit anxious to see.
“And now,” the mayor continued, “it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria…”
“And yet she says she’s not a deity.” I thought to myself. “Well she certainly doesn’t mind being treated as one.”
“Princess Celestia!” the mare finished with a flourish, opening the curtain behind her. A spotlight shone on the spot where she was supposed to be, and the room gasped when they saw no one there, murmuring in confusion. I had to admit, with the way the mayor built it up I expected Celestia to be there, and it made me a bit more nervous when she wasn’t. She didn’t seem to me like the type to have things go anything but her way, and it made me a little bit afraid.
The room was silent for a moment before a wisp of smoke started to appear on the balcony where the curtain was, coalescing into a pony, one that was as large as Celestia except with a black coat and a picture of a moon in place of the sun that Celestia had on her butt. She also wore armor, a helmet and a large plated necklace on her chest. She looked down on the crowd with disdain, like we were all beneath her, but she didn’t seem particularly scary, especially when I remembered that the princess said this was her sister.
“I guess she was expecting this to happen. Actually, she probably wanted this to happen, seeing how angry she got at the idea of my figuring out what was going on. I’m pretty sure everything’s going to be fine though. Actually, I’m pretty sure she said this lady was a princess, too...”
I looked over to the librarian to see what she was doing, and found myself a bit more nervous from her worried expression, but decided to, as much as I didn’t want to, put my faith in Celestia that things would be okay.
“Lord,” I prayed, “whatever your will is, let that be your will. I’m not certain what’s happening, but I ask that you keep this town safe from whatever may come.”
“Oh, my beloved subjects,” the mare started as she looked around the room, “it’s been so long since I’ve seen your precious little sun loving faces.”
“What have you done with our princess?” someone, Rainbow Dash I thought, yelled in the crowd. A second later, she flew up and used her hoof to punch the mare, hitting her in the face and sending her flying backwards. The mare, Celestia’s sister, didn’t look like she was prepared for it, and neither was the crowd, as I heard them gasp again and give a few surprised cries.
“What is she doing?” I asked, half to myself and half to Lofty and Holiday. “Celestia told me that that’s her sister.”
“I’m not sure, but… that’s her sister?” Lofty responded. “I can’t imagine she’d be related to somepony like that... is that true? Did she tell you that?"
"Yes she did, so I'm not sure if she'd like someone attacking her, but..."
“Yeah, well, she’s kicking her flank, like she should!” Scootaloo cheered. “Go Rainbow Dash!”
The rainbow haired pony flew to land on top of her and picked her up by the metal collar she wore, demanding, “Where is she?” However, she was met with the absolutely enraged look off of the pony, one that made me and the ponies around me take a few steps back in fear. She had her teeth bared in anger and wore a look of hate as she took in the blue pegasus.
“Am I not royal enough for you?” she spat coldly before suddenly standing upright and flinging Rainbow Dash across the room, crashing her into several ponies before hitting the back wall. As she did so, she flew high above the room, extending her wings gracefully before lighting up her horn and destroying the chandelier hanging above her, sending glass raining down on us.
“Ah! I thought she said her student was taking care of this!” I yelled as I covered my head with my hooves, feeling just a few pieces of glass cut me as the rest of the room screamed.
“Get down, girls,” Lofty instructed, using a hoof to direct her wife down as well and spreading her wings out to protect us from anything else that might happen. I followed her instructions, but I also kept my head out a little bit so I could see what was happening, catching my breath at the absolutely angry look she wore. She looked around the room for a moment before landing her gaze on me, staring me in the eye with a look that sent a chill up my spine.
“Please, please just ignore me,” I thought to myself, hoping she wasn’t about to do what I thought she was going to. “Please, Lord, just let her-”
Before I could finish my prayer, I was being lifted off the ground, a blue aura surrounding me and my muscles stiffening as I was carried in the air.
“P-p-put me down!” I yelled, my breathing getting faster as I was carried higher and higher. “I- I don’t like being high up! Please put me down!”
I had to close my eyes because of how high up we were, and I could feel myself shaking from how terrifying it was. The situation itself wasn’t that scary, but my fear of heights combined with this pony sending glass raining down and tossing Rainbow Dash into other ponies had me freaked out.
“Lord, please let me be safe,” I said aloud, not caring who heard me. “Please let her put me down, please…” As I said it, I had to force myself not to try and struggle against the aura that held me in case I somehow fell to the ground because of it.
“Ah ha ha, are you scared of me, little filly?” the mare started. I could tell I was close to her without opening my eyes because of how loud her voice was now. It felt like I was near enough to almost feel her breathing into my coat, and I could almost feel my hair standing up in fear. I kept my eyes closed as I tried to control my breathing, reminding myself that Celestia said this was going to happen.
"She knew this was going to happen and is just letting this happen anyway," I somehow thought to myself. "What kind of ruler does that? Lord, please... please keep me safe..."
“Do you plan on throwing yourself at me as your friend did?” she asked, growling a little bit. “Do you know who I am?”
“Please just put me down,” I found myself pleading, turning my head and hating the situation I was in. I opened my eyes for a moment to try and find that librarian so I could see what she was doing, but immediately closed them again once I saw just how far away the floor was. I couldn’t help but start to hyperventilate a little bit at the fact that I was basically suspended in the air, cursing and clenching my jaw as I thought about how I was going to tell Celestia off when I saw her again. For someone who was supposed to be benevolent and all like these ponies said she was, she was certainly putting me, and a lot of people for that matter, in danger. I had the feeling that she could stop this if she wanted to, but actively chose not to.
“Please… oh my gosh, I hate heights. Just put me down… I don’t know who you are!”
“You don’t know?” she asked threateningly. “Does my crown no longer count now that I’ve been imprisoned for a thousand years? Do you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?”
I ignored her as I tried my best to stay calm, still keeping my eyes closed and my head turned away from her. I could tell though that she was getting angry, and there was a long period of silence before more words were said.
“LOOK AT ME AND ANSWER ME!” she demanded, yelling at the top of her lungs, loud enough that I almost thought I heard the room shake. I flinched hard at her sudden scream, but kept my eyes closed and my head turned.
“Oh my gosh, just put me down please,” I begged, my emotions starting to get worked up. “I really don’t like being this high up! Please just put me down!” I thought I was getting a little bit better at controlling myself when I thought I was about to cry, but right then it was tough because of how high up I was.
“Tell me who I am!” she screamed, growling at me. “I saw the way you were staring at me! I know you know who I am! Now tell me!”
“I don’t know who you are!” I yelled back loudly, my whole body completely tensed up. “All I know is what Celestia told me! Please just put me down!”
“Fine! Since you want to be let down so much, I’ll let you down!”
“Don’t drop-” I started, not able to get out more than that before she released me from her grasp and I fell to the floor.
Author's Note
Man, Applejack being sick affects a lot, seeing as since she was, she couldn't hold back Rainbow from attacking NMM.
“So… n-none of you have been in here before?” Fluttershy asked timidly as the six ponies walked through the dark forest.
“Oh, h-heavens, no!” Rarity replied, her voice just as shaky as the yellow pegasus’s. “I mean, just look at it! It’s dreadful!”
“Well, legends do say this is one of the most dangerous forests in all of Equestria,” Twilight responded factually. “Thousands of ponies have entered, and many haven’t come back out when they have.”
“R-really?” Fluttershy stammered. “H-how’s that?”
“Ah don’t know,” Big Mac interrupted before Twilight could continue, standing in front of them and stopping their progress as he continued, “but what Ah do know is that if this here forest is as dangerous as ponies say it is, we need ta make a good plan. Can’t harvest apples without a plan, an’ can’t head inta danger without a plan.”
“I don’t see why,” Lightning Dust argued. “It’s like she said. We just need to find whatever those Elements of Harmony are and use them to stop that witch.”
“Well, I think… ummm… that pony…” Twilight trailed off, blushing that she didn't know the name of the stallion that spoke. "The red one..."
“Big Mac is his name, darling,” Rarity reminded her.
“Eeyup.”
“Yes, Big Mac, I think he has a point. I mean, we can’t just go into this unprepared. Some time to make a plan isn’t a bad thing. Better to be safe than sorry, I always- whoa!”
Suddenly, the floor was crumbling beneath them, thanks to the work of Nightmare Moon. They screamed in surprise as the ground beneath them started to fall away. Luckily for them though, the spot where they stopped was just far enough on the edge of the cliff for them to be able to quickly back up and avoid falling. Still, they were startled enough that most of them were breathing heavily from the surprise. As they did, they saw a wisp of blue smoke curl up and fly away from them.
“She’s getting away!” Lightning Dust yelled as she used a hoof to point in the smoke’s direction, taking a step and stretching out her wings to chase after her before the white unicorn stopped her.
"Lightning, dear! What in Celestia's name do you think you're doing?"
"What does it look like? I'm going after her! We can't just stand here talking about what we should do. Who knows how long it'll be before she gets to wherever she's going? We can't let her get away!"
"Ah agree, but like Ah said, we might be best off makin' a plan."
“Big Mac is right. We saw just now how dangerous she is. We need to stop and think about what we’re going to do before we do anything else. Princess Celestia is counting on us, and it won’t serve us well to-”
“Exactly! She’s counting on us! That means we should be heading out there now, not standing around talking.”
“I… think I agree with Twilight,” Fluttershy broke in. “I- I mean… this is the Everfree forest after all… I’m sorry…”
“She’s got a point, Dusty! Plus, I bet a super duper strong pony like you has a whole bunch of good ideas! You’d be helping us fight that big ol’ meanie pants if you gave us ideas!”
Pinkie said it knowing it would appeal to her ego, and wasn’t surprised when the cyan pegasus placed her wings back to her sides, telling the group, “Well… since I am the strongest pony, I guess it would help if I helped you plan… but I’m gonna be the leader. Every team needs one, and it’s gonna be me!”
“Fine! Whatever! Let’s just figure out what we need to do!” As Twilight said it, she suddenly magicked over a stick to draw notes into the ground. She silently wished for a notebook, but figured this would be good enough.
“Okay, the first thing is making sure everypony stays safe while we’re in here. That’s what we need to make sure of.”
“Speaking of which, I’m just now remembering that I need to check on my little sister and her friends,” Rarity broke in. “I need to make sure they’re safe after everything that happened. I can’t believe it slipped my mind.”
“We don’t have time to go back to Ponyville to check on ponies and make a plan if we want to stop that… whoever that pony is!” Lightning Dust argued, Twilight finding herself agreeing with her. However, before she could say more, the white unicorn was already heading back.
“I shant be but a minute, dears!” she called over her shoulder as she hurried back to Ponyville.
“Are you sure that’s what she said?” Holiday asked me as I finished explaining the current situation to her. “I don’t think Princess Celestia would do something like this…”
“Clearly she would, because I wouldn’t lie,” I responded. “I’m telling you exactly what she told me. She planned for all of this to happen because she wants her student to… I forgot exactly what she said. Be her successor? Or learn some lesson? The point is that she’s definitely not benevolent like you think she is.”
I was speaking to Holiday alone while the other four ponies were in a separate part of the house doing I don’t know what. I assumed she pulled me over so as not to talk about it in front of them, because as soon as we entered the house, she immediately asked about it. I didn’t know why though, other than maybe for the fact that she didn’t want Celestia’s image tainted for some reason.
“That… with everything I’ve heard about the princess, that doesn’t seem like her…” she replied, sounding unsure, like I could be mistaken.
“Well, with everything I’ve seen and heard since I’ve been here, it seems exactly like her, especially considering that she directly told me that.”
“I… hmm…” she trailed off, processing what I told her. “You did say that she said someone... err, somepony- you've got me saying it now- was taking care of all of this, so that’s a good thing, but…”
“But I almost fell to my death and was cut by glass because she wants to play games with my life! With other people’s lives, too! It’s not right!”
“Well, I doubt you would have died,” Holiday told me. “You are an earth pony after all, but I understand what you’re saying. Did you say that she was going to be here later? What if we spoke to her then? See what her reason is? I mean, she is the princess after all, and I would think-”
“I would think she’s self absorbed. It’s not right. That other pony said we were going to talk to her tonight, and I’m going to tell her off then.”
“Um, well, I- I wouldn’t do that, but… I certainly wouldn’t be able to stop you from doing that. I would like to speak to her, too, if you don’t mind.”
“You can talk to her if you want. I don’t care. I just care about-”
“Miss Holiday?” someone, Diamond Tiara, asked. “Are you almost done with Asher? We want to play with her now.”
I avoided cringing at what she called me and was about to correct her, but before I could, Holiday broke in, “Give us just another minute, okay dear?” She waited until the filly was firmly out of the room before saying, “If it’s no trouble, I’d rather not have those kids know about all of this. If this is all true, or even if it’s not, I’m not sure the princess would want all of this out in the open. Do you understand?”
“I understand, and it’s definitely true. But, um, I was kind of looking to be alone for the night after all of that… my heart is still racing from that. I know I said I’d spend time with them, but I’d rather just be alone right now.”
“I know you do, but… I’d really like it if you were able to keep an eye on them, if it’s no trouble. Actually, before we do anything, we need to get all of this glass out of you all's coats. But you’d be doing me a huge favor if you stayed out there with them, just for tonight.” Before I could respond, she quickly added, “I mean, a nice young stallion like you, I’m sure you will, right?”
I knew she was only doing that to get me to say yes, but it made me feel a little better regardless, so I told her, “Fine, but I’d really like to have all of this glass out of my coat first… I hope I never have to see that… monster… ever again. I don’t like being picked up like that.”
She called the other four of them in the room after that, helping both me and them get cleaned up before sending us all back out, whispering privately to me that she wanted me to stay out there because of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. I didn’t see what the problem was. Yes, they argued and fought before, and it was annoying as heck, but it didn’t look like it was ever to the extent that Holiday and her partner seemed to believe.
“Wow, Asher!” Scootaloo started as we were sent back out. “Today’s been so strange! I didn’t know you’d be right about stuff happening today! How did you know?”
“It was an educated guess,” I replied, doing my best to both stay vague and not lie at the same time. “I mean, this is the one thousandth holiday, so…”
“Wow. You’re really smart. I mean, we knew that before, but-”
“But that was kind of scary,” Sweetie Belle broke in. “I thought you were gonna be hurt by her! I’m glad you didn’t get hurt though!”
“You looked scared, too, Asher,” Diamond added, a little smirk on her face like she was taunting me a bit. “I thought you were gonna cry since you’ve been doing it so much.” I could only force myself not to roll my eyes at the little jab.
“Yeah, you do cry a lot, Asher,” Scootaloo agreed, oblivious to the dig the two girls got in.
“I bet she thought she was gonna get hurt,” Silver Spoon said, also oblivious, much to her counterpart’s obvious annoyance.
“Yeah, well..." I was hesitant on whether or not to tell Diamond and Silver that I was a boy, not because I was uncomfortable or afraid of being teased, but because I knew if they did tease me, it would start a fight, which was the absolute last thing I wanted. Having children fight because of me was annoying and frustrating, and after everything that happened that day, I wanted to avoid it. However, before I could say anything, Sweetie Belle spoke for me.
“She’s a boy, so you should call her 'him'. It makes her feel better.”
That one took everything in me to not roll my eyes hard. It was a long string of feminine pronouns she used to say I’m a male, and it just got on my nerves.
There was an uncomfortable silence for a second as Diamond processed what Sweetie Belle said while she stared right at me before breaking it with, “Scootaloo was right. You really are a weird filly.”
"I've been told that," I responded, finally rolling my eyes and deciding to let it slide, "but I'm in a weird spot, so it's not really my fault that I am."
They said before they wanted to drink more tonight, but they seemed tired from what we were doing all day, and whether it be from that or the lack of cider, decided to call it a night. Despite no blanket being laid out and there only being hard floor beneath them, they quickly curled up without a problem, and I figured I would do the same. Before I could though, Sweetie Belle approached me.
“Hey, um, Asher? I was wondering…”
“Yes?” I asked as she trailed off, looking a bit nervous.
“Um, you know how you said there was that pony that could do anything?”
“God? He’s not a pony, but yeah.” I wasn’t expecting her to ask about that, but wasn’t bothered by it and sat up to give it my full attention.
“Um, can you ask him to make sure my sister is safe? I don’t know where she is and I’m scared about her, and you talk to him all the time…”
I had to smile a little bit at the thought that she wanted to pray for her sister, even if it wasn’t exactly phrased that way. I enjoyed the thought that some of these ponies might believe in God, too, and quickly sat up to talk to her.
“We can pray about it if you want,” I told her as I scooted next to her. “Grab my hands… err, hooves, and close your eyes.” She didn’t question it and did what I asked, quickly gripping her hooves into mine and giving me a look for a second before closing her eyes.
“Lord,” I started, whispering so as not to bother the other fillies, “we ask that you keep us safe in this time, and that you bring Sweetie Belle’s sister, Rarity, back to her safely. We ask that you use your hand to guard her, and that you bring the sun back to us tomorrow. In Jesus name we pray, amen.”
Just as I finished, the door knocked, and I heard someone, Rarity, calling through the door, “Sweetie Belle? Are you and your friends in there?”
“Rarity!” the filly got out excitedly, hurrying to open the door and jumping up into her hooves. “Are you okay? Where did you go?”
“I’m quite alright dear, although I must ask what you’re doing at Miss Holiday’s house again. I thought you said you were spending the night with the Riches?”
“We were going to,” she explained, “but then all that stuff happened, so she told us to go with her. I hope I didn’t make you mad because of that…”
“Certainly not, dear. In fact, I would’ve suggested it myself. Anyhoo, I just wanted to stop by to check up on you and make sure you were alright, and seeing that you are, I do need to head out again. I can trust you to stay safe here with your friends, correct?”
“Huh? Yeah! But where are you going?”
“Don’t have time for that now, Sweetie. I do have to get back to Twilight Sparkle. I’ll see you again soon after she and our friends sort out this whole mess.” With that, she turned to leave again, giving her sister a quick wave before heading back out.
“Wow. I didn’t think that would work! That’s so cool! Do you think we can ask for more stuff?”
“Well, it’s not really ‘asking’ for stuff so much as it is talking to God, but we could pray more if you wanted. But not right now. Right now, it’s time to sleep.”
“Oh. Okay. Well, thank you Asher. I’m glad she’s safe.” With that, the girl lay back down and closed her eyes to go to sleep a smile on her face as she did so.
“Your welcome,” I told her before copying her and laying down myself, silently adding, “And thank you, Lord, for always answering my prayers.”
Celestia stood in her invisible prison atop the Castle of the Two Sisters, taking in the view of the Everfree Forest. Although quite dangerous, it was also beautiful, the many plants and animals that grew and lived here after she and her sister went to Canterlot. She was glad she had a moment to appreciate it after all these years, especially given what was to come.
“Oh, Luna, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you,” the alicorn sighed. “I can’t wait to spend time with you again. It’s been quite lonely without you in my life…”
She closed her eyes for a moment, reliving the memory of her sister before opening them again and going back to watching the Everfree. She did wonder what was taking Twilight and her friends, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rarity so long. She expected them to be here by now, and was a bit anxious that they weren’t. Not that it was an issue. If worst came to pass, she would wield the elements herself and banish the Nightmare from Equestria. It wasn’t an outcome she wanted though. She wanted her student to save the day. It was what she had planned, and if it didn’t come to be, she knew who the pony to blame would be.
Before long, I was waking up to the groaning of four girls next to me.
“Ugh…” Diamond Tiara got out, rubbing her forehead as I opened my eyes. “I don’t feel good…”
“Neither do I…” Scootaloo agreed, groaning just as painfully. “My head hurts…”
“You guys are probably dehydrated,” I said as I yawned. “You need to drink water, which is something I don’t remember you getting all of yesterday… is it still dark outside?”
I got up and went to the window and sure enough, it looked like it was still the middle of the night outside, the moon hanging high in the sky and the sun nowhere to be seen. I didn’t know what time it was, but I had to assume it was morning by now, late enough for the sun to have risen. Which, of course, meant that that librarian hadn’t done what Celestia said she would do and save the day. I was just a little bit concerned, seeing that I was apparently supposed to be meeting with the two of them this morning and Celestia didn’t seem like the type to just up and cancel something. Not to mention, there was also that other pony, the one who was… well, terrifying to say the least. I didn’t really feel up for seeing her again, and hoped that the princess would take care of the mess she created.
“Oh, I hope my sister is okay,” Sweetie Belle said worriedly as she stood up, immediately laying back down a second later though. “Ow, my head…”
“Drink water you guys, please. Alcohol dehydrates you. That’s why your head hurts. You need to drink water.”
With that suggestion, the group of girls yawned again and stood up to make their way to the kitchen, leaving me alone in the living room for just a moment.
“Lord, please protect us,” I prayed silently. “If it’s in your will, let this night end and the sunrise again.”
With that, I got up and headed over to them to eat breakfast. However, I was stopped by Holiday before I could get there. I could only guess what she wanted me for.
“I don’t know what’s going on,” I told her immediately before she could ask a question. “All I know is what Celestia told me, that being that the other pony I told you about would take care of all of this.”
“I was only going to ask how you were feeling, dear,” Holiday responded. “It was very scary yesterday, especially with what you went through. Are you doing okay?”
“Well, not really, but I’ll be fine probably. I’m just angry at… well, I know you don’t want me to talk about the princess. Anyway, where’s Miss Lofty? I haven’t seen her since we left that other building.”
“She should still be with Rainbow Dash, I think. I went out to try to see her yesterday, but apparently Mayor Mare has guards out on patrol to make sure everypony stays inside. They don’t want anypony out right now because of… well, you know.”
“Huh. Well, I hope she’s okay… I hope her catching me didn’t hurt her worse. Gosh, just thinking about that is gonna make me shiver. Anyway, what time is it?”
“It’s just after eight in the morning, which means the sun should be well up by now,” the mare answered. “It also means it’s time for young men to get their breakfast.”
“W-well, I’m not a young man per se,” I got out, smiling happily at what she called me, “but I’ll take some breakfast.”
The six ponies moving through the Everfree Forest were tired by the time they reached the castle of the two sisters. Once the group had finished their business in Ponyville, which included Rarity checking on her little sister and her friends and Fluttershy making sure her animals were all sleeping and their food bowls were filled in case she wasn’t back by morning, among other things, Twilight spent time going over with them everything she knew about the forest. She wanted to make sure they were well prepared going in and tried to make a plan for any situation that might arise. All in all, it took more than a little while before they were moving, and when they did, they moved slowly and carefully to make sure they were all safe.
Lightning Dust took over being in charge of the group and leading the way, and made sure everypony knew it. They made their careful way down the cliff to the manticore that Nightmare Moon possessed, she and Twilight combining their efforts to subdue it. Afterwards, they made it past the rough river created by a crying purple sea serpent, doing so by Fluttershy and Lightning Dust carrying Twilight and Pinkie Pie across before Rarity donated part of her tail to calm the gentle beast and hitch a ride on his back. Finally, Fluttershy crossed the broken bridge to tie the rope leading across to the Castle of the Two Sisters, the six ponies carefully making their way inside.
“There they are, the Elements of Harmony!” Twilight said excitedly as she made her way up to them, Fluttershy and Lightning already getting them down from the podium they stood on. “We found them!”
“But… there’s only five here!” Pinkie said, counting each one out loud. “I thought you said there were six, Twilight!”
“The book said,” she explained, “that when the five are present, a spark will cause the sixth element to be revealed.”
“Well what in Equestria could that possibly mean?” Lightning Dust asked, getting closer to examine it, as if she could figure out the secret.
“I’m not sure, but I have an idea,” she told her as she started to light up her horn. “Stand back everypony. I don’t know what will happen.”
Princess Celestia watched the scene from her invisible prison, cursing silently to herself at the sight. She didn’t know what happened, but she did know that she saw two ponies who were with Twilight Sparkle in place of Applejack and Rainbow Dash. How that came to be, she couldn’t say, but she did know it meant that her plans for Twilight, at least tonight, wouldn’t be coming to fruition. At least, not in the way she had planned it out to be.
She found herself severely disliking the idea that a Discord type deity called “God” existed, especially a deity that seemed to want to interfere with her plans for Equestria by sending that filly there. Of course, that was assuming such a being even existed, which she highly doubted. Still, she knew she should probably investigate such matters and take appropriate action if necessary. For now, though, she’d have to control the situation as best she could.
The Princess watched as Twilight and Rarity both lit their horns up, Nightmare Moon’s smoke swirling around them. She wanted to choose the right moment to reveal herself and fix the situation that was created, as well as validate Twilight Sparkle as a hero. It wasn’t ideal, but she figured she could work with it.
She watched her sister grabbed the elements from her student, causing the purple mare to charge after her in attack. The princess braced herself, expecting her student to hit her sister, and was surprised when she suddenly faked her out, teleporting herself to the elements at the last second. She smiled to herself at the clever maneuver before realizing this should be her moment to interrupt.
“Twilight!” she called, revealing herself to her and her five new friends, as well as her sister, who looked at her with shock. “The Elements!” she instructed, pressing a hoof up against the invisible glass. “Bring them here!”
Twilight only hesitated a moment before using her magic to send them her way, Celestia catching them with her own just a moment before her sister snatched them out of the air. What happened next seemed fairly quick to her. She lit up her horn and closed her eyes, doing the best she could to connect her energy to it, silently asking the Elements of Harmony to still be connected to her, and smiling widely when they were. She watched as they lit up for her, and then used her magic to direct a wave of rainbow colored energy at Nightmare Moon, watching as she was taken up in the brightly colored swirl and being stripped away from her sister. At the same time, the glass that surrounded her prison shattered, freeing her completely and allowing her to gently float down to meet her subjects in the crumbling castle.
“Princess Celestia!” Twilight called happily as she trotted up to hug her, the other five ponies with her bowing respectfully. “You’re safe!”
“Quite safe as it seems, and it's all thanks to you, my faithful student,” the alicorn responded in kind. “I knew you could do it.”
“Wait, what? But… you told me it was all an old pony tale, princess,”
She chuckled at that, a bit nervous as she explained, “I only told you to make some friends, Twilight. Nothing more. I saw the signs of Nightmare Moon’s return and knew that you, with the help of your friends, could find them for me, and help me free my sister, Princess Luna.” It was technically the truth, she did know that her student could find the Elements for her, although they weren’t lost in any way. She took careful steps in making sure she didn’t technically lie so that she had a way to maneuver herself later if it came back up. She could see plain as day there was much more Twilight wanted to ask as she raised a hoof and opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, she stepped over to her sister and put the attention of the room on her.
She went through the motions of asking if her sister would accept her friendship and welcoming her back to Equestria after a thousand years before raising the sun high in the sky, starting the day again. As she did so, she wondered how she was going to play the Asher situation with Twilight. She didn’t know how Twilight would react to the introduction, other than she would be asking a hundred questions about the filly. As well, she found herself extremely annoyed by the fact that Applejack and Rainbow Dash didn’t come along with her to the Everfree and that the Elements were indeed still bound to her. It worked out in the end, but she had set it up for the Elements to bind to the six that she expected it to. She had a plan she wanted to play out with her student, and didn’t know if that would be possible now with the way things turned out, even if the end result of the Nightmare’s destruction was the same after everything. She had to force herself not to look nervous or angry thinking about it.
“Maybe there’s a way I can force the elements to bind to the six?” she silently asked herself before shaking her head clear of those thoughts. “I’m sure it’ll be fine,” she told herself and she hugged Princess Luna. “Twilight will still take my place as ruler if I have anything to say about it. I won't let that filly's introduction into Equestria ruin things for me, whether or not that creature it believes in truly exists.”
With that thought in mind, she turned back to her student and kindly said, “Now, let’s head back to Ponyville and enjoy the longest day of the year, as well as introduce you to Asher.”
Sometime while we were in the middle of eating, the sun shot up high in the sky, quicker than what was normal even for this world. I was startled by it, it happened so quick, but then smiled a second later, realizing that it meant whoever that black pony was was defeated. I was glad that she wouldn’t be someone I had to deal with anymore and that my prayers were answered, not that I had any doubt that they would be. I frowned again a second later though when I thought about the fact that all of this would probably inflate Celestia’s ego. If I told her off for putting us in danger, she would probably argue that everything worked out, so there wasn’t anything to complain about.
“Asher?” Scootaloo asked. “Why do you look so angry?”
“Huh? Oh, it’s nothing,” I told her. “I’m just… thinking about last night.”
“I can’t believe she actually picked you up like that!” Silver Spoon got out. “I’m glad she didn’t do that to me. That must have been scary.”
“She’s lucky she didn’t pick me up!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “If she did, I would’ve bit her and then punched her in the face! I would’ve knocked her off her hooves like Rainbow Dash did!”
“I’m sure you would have,” I responded sarcastically. “Speaking of Rainbow Dash though, is it okay if we go to visit her, Miss Holiday?” I asked. “I want to tell her thank you for saving me… and sorry for probably hurting her worse than she was already.” My ears flattened in embarrassment as I thought about that fact.
“I’d say yes, but the princess is coming to see you today, remember?” she answered. “I don’t want you to run off when she gets here and then have her race around Ponyville trying to find you.”
“Yeah, well…” I resisted the urge to tell her that I didn’t want her playing games with my life, but kept that thought in my head, instead saying, “I’ll just be going to the hospital to see her. I can stay there if you want me to and you can have her come to me.”
“Wait, you weren’t lying when you said Princess Celestia came to your house, Scootaloo?” Diamond Tiara asked in shock. “You mean Princess Celestia, like, the princess of Equestria, came here? To your house?”
“Yup!” the pegasus told her proudly. “She came to see Asher actually!”
“Wait, you really are from another world then?” Diamond asked. “They were telling the truth?”
“Yes they were,” I told her simply. “I’m also a boy, so it’d be nice if I were called that. Anyway, I want to go see Rainbow Dash and thank her in the hospital.”
It was true that I wanted to see the pony and give her a quick apology, but part of it was also that, even as much as I wanted to tell Celestia off, I really didn’t want to deal with her or her student right then. I knew that she was going to try and force me on her, and it wasn’t something I was looking forward to. Not to mention, hearing what would likely be excuses from Celestia. It would just be delaying the inevitable, but still, delay I would.
“Is it okay if I went?” I asked. I know I didn't really need to, considering I was an adult, even if I hadn't felt like I'd been acting like one that well of late. However, it was still the polite thing to do to ask.
“Well, as long as you stay at the hospital with Rainbow, I don’t see why not, but-”
“I wanna go, too!” Scootaloo automatically announced, jumping out of her chair. She was followed quickly by three other girls saying they wanted to go with us, too.
“You can all go, that’s fine, as long as you all stay at the hospital until the princess comes. Okay? Also, let Miss Lofty know there’s breakfast waiting for her here if she wants it.”
“Okay, we can do that, we promise,” the four girls assured her before we headed out.
“Sister, I have to confess, I must know how it was you were able to wield the Elements of Harmony. I would have expected that they would have bound to somepony else by this time, like those six mares who were following me through the Everfree Forest.”
“Haha, well, I can only say that it was through the power of friendship, my dear Luna,” Celestia answered, avoiding the question. “I can say that without the help of my student, Twilight Sparkle, and her five friends, this night might have ended quite differently. We are very lucky to have her.”
“I see,” she said thoughtfully before turning around to face the six who had headed into the Everfree after her. “Well then, on behalf of the crown of Equestria, we would like to express our deep and overflowing well of thanks, as well as an unrelenting apology for our actions against you. We don’t expect forgiveness, but nonetheless, we hope you can find the ability to do so for our sister’s sake.”
“Oh, well, we forgive you,” Twilight said quickly as Lightning Dust gave her a skeptical look. “It must have been tough being on the moon for so long.”
“Yes, it was quite lonely, but it was what I deserved. It’s what I still deserve…”
“Nonsense, Lulu,” Celestia told the alicorn sympathetically, taking her face in her hooves. “You deserve to be here with me, ruling beside me in Equestria. In fact, I’ve long awaited the day when you could return to take your place at the throne again.”
“That’s certainly not true at all, Celly,” Luna responded, looking away from her. “I’ve hurt the ponies of this town during my return. I scared a little filly nearly half to death. What kind of ruler would ever do such terrible things to their subjects?”
Celestia’s ears flicked at the comment about scaring a little filly, knowing it almost certainly it was Asher she had scared. Even if it wasn’t, it was only more trouble for her, but it was to be expected with her sister’s return.
“Well then, we shall take you to apologize, and all will be right again. My little ponies are kind and gentle, and I’m sure they will accept you wholeheartedly as their ruler and forgive you without question if you ask for it.”
“Well… if you are certain they will… it was a bright blue pegasus mare with a rainbow colored mane and a silver coated filly with bright gold locks. As well, I’ll need to make an apology to this whole town for my rudeness and carelessness.”
“It’s no trouble at all, dear sister,” the white alicorn told her as she resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the fact that it was indeed Asher she got involved with. “We will take care of this matter before we head back to Canterlot, that I assure you.”
“So you really are from another world?” Diamond Tiara asked. “What’s it like there? Wait, how old are you if you’re from another world?”
“The simple answer to your first question is that it’s a lot like Equestria, except without ponies and there’s no... well, there’s a lot more technology. And the second answer is that I’m basically twenty-five, but twenty-five on earth is nine years old here. Which is why I look like... this . Except as a girl for some reason.”
“Huh. Well… I don’t know. It seems pretty unbelievable, even though Miss Holiday said she would be coming…”
“I’m a pretty unbelievable guy,” I said casually as we walked. “And honestly, from my perspective, this is all unbelievable. I’m a pony who’s talking to other ponies in a land where a princess raises the sun with magic. That’s pretty unbelievable honestly.”
“Not really. That’s what she always does,” Silver Spoon said.
“Well… anyway, it’s all true like I said, so…”
“Huh. Well then I do want to be your friend, even though you made us miss school cause you were sick. And I guess we’ll be friends with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, too.”
“Yeah, you’re not as bad as I thought, Diamond,” Scootaloo told her. “I mean, you’re still kind of annoying, but I’ll be friends with you, as long as you aren’t mean to us.”
“And you’re not that bad I guess,” she responded, “even though you are kind of lame. But you’re okay, I guess.”
With that comment, we headed inside the hospital that I’d been to a couple of times before and were greeted by the receptionist.
“Oh, Asher!” she greeted, a pony with dark green hair and light green fur as well as a lab coat. “Back again it seems, huh? I hope it’s to visit somepony this time and not to check in like before. Do you remember me?”
“Umm, not really?” I admitted, a bit embarrassed. "Sorry."
“Oh, well that’s understandable. You looked pretty out of it both times you came in, remember? You fainted the first time and then came back in a few days later because you had diphtheria. I don’t blame you for not remembering. Now let’s see…”
“We’re here to see Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo proclaimed, giving a little hop as her wings buzzed in the air.
“Rainbow Dash- looks like she’s in room four. You can head right on over if you’d like, unless you need me to show you the way?”
“We’re fine,” I told her. “We can find it. Thank you.”
We headed on back to the room she told us, and sure enough, Rainbow Dash was in there. Scootaloo instantly ran up to her while the other three girls followed more casually. However, I stayed in the back of the room, feeling extremely guilty about the way she looked. She had her wings and ribs and one leg bandaged up as she lay in bed, and I knew without a doubt that some of those injuries came from me landing on top of her. I knew it wasn’t my fault really, it was just what happened given the situation. But still, I couldn’t help but feel at least partially responsible for her being here.
“Now where in Equestria…” she started as she looked around before laying her eyes on me. “Asher! What are you doing all the way back there? I can’t ruffle your mane and tell you how it’s all your fault unless you come up here!” She was smiling as she said it, so I knew she was joking, but still, it made me feel worse.
“I’m sorry for getting you all hurt like that…” I said, just loud enough for her to hear as my ears unconsciously pressed against my skull.
“What are you sorry for?” she asked. “I was just kidding. I know falling from the ceiling wasn’t your fault. You don’t have to be sorry. And honestly, it’s not as bad as it looks. I mean, I’m not covered in cuts like you guys are, so that’s something. Plus, the doc says I’ll be back to the skies in a week, tops.”
“That’s right,” someone, somepony , Lofty, agreed as she entered the room carrying a tray of food. “Although with how Scootaloo talks about her, I bet she’s gonna be back to soaring through the skies in half the time.”
“Heck yeah, she will!” the orange pegasus agreed. “She’s Rainbow Dash! Nopony can stop her, not even Nightmare Moon! Did you see how she fought her? She was amazing!”
“Her wings looked absolutely awful when I saw them though…” I trailed off, although Rainbow Dash gave me a reassuring smile in response.
“Dude. It’s okay. The doctor said I’ll be fine. You don’t need to be sorry at all. You didn’t hurt me any more than I already was, and if you did, it wasn’t even your fault. It’s okay.”
“Yeah, well… I’m still sorry, so-”
“Fine, I forgive you, okay? Even though you didn’t do anything though. But I forgive you, okay? Now get over here and tell me what an awesome pony I am for fighting that monster. It’ll make me feel better if you do.”
“Oh! Miss- I mean, Princess Celestia!” Holiday got out, quickly bowing before the alicorn that showed up at her front door once again. “It’s so nice- I mean, it’s an honor to have you in my home again!” She looked at all who were there, and took a step back when she saw the dark coated alicorn, asking, “Um, is that, uh…?”
“No need to bow to me, my little pony, although you’re very kind to. And yes, this is my sister, Princess Luna. You may have seen her last night as the pony formerly known as Nightmare Moon, but that she is no more. In fact, she came here to give you a formal apology.”
“That is correct. We have acted foolish and unbecoming over the previous hours and are embarrassed by our actions. We would like to humbly request your forgiveness, if you would be so kind. We would understand though if you declined because of the way we acted.” As she said it, she was kneeling on the floor in front of Holiday, her head hung low in shame.
“Oh, well, uh, of course,” the mare answered, a bit surprised by the apology. “I mean, it seems like you’re sorry, so of course. And how could I not forgive a princess? Of course I accept your apology.”
“You are too kind to us,” the alicorn said gratefully, standing back up. “Although we must ask where that little grey filly is so we may apologize to them as well. The way we acted towards them was quite terrible.”
“Asher? He’s at the hospital with Rainbow Dash, but should be-”
“I’ve put the filly in the hospital?” Luna asked, a mix of shock and worry on her face as her eyes went wide. She blinked a few times, seemingly unable to process what she was told.
“Wait, no, I misspoke. Asher’s not-” was all Holiday could get out Luna stretched her wings and flew off towards Ponyville General.
Author's Note
I am listening to All Apologies as I edit this.
We talked for a while about the holiday and what happened the day before, Rainbow and company laughing about yesterday's events before we finally got around to talking about the alcohol the four fillies had.
“You should’ve seen them, Asher,” Rainbow told me. “Sweet Celestia, they were causing so much trouble! Just ask Mrs. Cheerilee. I honestly can’t believe you guys were trying to hit on adults. It was hilarious!” I cringed a little bit to myself at that comment as she continued, “Not that you were any better, Asher. Don’t think I forgot about you saying that you were a colt. Or was it them? I can’t remember, but I still remember that it was said. That was the highlight of my day.”
“Well, it was me who said it, and I did because I am one, even if I don’t look like it…”
“Haha, there you go again! I think that’s funny, honestly! You really are a weird one, Asher.”
“No, he really is!” Sweetie Belle told her. “He’s from another world, and Princess Celestia is gonna come here to see him!”
“Oh I’m sure, and the head of the Wonderbolts is coming to visit me, too! I might have been born at night, but it wasn’t last night guys. It is a good try at a prank though, I’ll admit that much.”
I wondered if I should try to rephrase what I was saying to get the point across better, but all of a sudden I was feeling depressed by that idea. I realized I was going to have to do this for each and every person I came across, and that thought made me sad. It made me just want to lay down and give up on everything.
“Wait, don’t give me that face, it’s just a joke Asher. I’m sorry. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, it’s not your fault,” I told her. “I just dislike the fact that I’m gonna have to explain to every single person… err, pony, I meet that I’m not a girl. I mean, I’ll do it, but it’s kind of depressing honestly.”
“Wait, you actually want to be called a boy? Why? That’s just gonna confuse ponies. Why would you want to do that?”
“Because I’m a boy… or, well, I’m not, but I actually am, and want to be called one. It’s complicated, but I don’t want to be called a girl. It would make me feel better if you at least humored me and said I was a boy.”
“And I know what the lesson is and want this to just end. I know where I was wrong at and will be better. Just please, God, please let this end. I just want to go home.”
"I don't see how you could possibly want to deal with that, honestly Asher. It just seems like a waste of time to me."
I honestly had to agree with Rainbow Dash on that. While I could see how bad it made me feel and probably how it made other people feel, I couldn’t see how anyone would ever want to deal with this. It seemed, or rather, it felt from my experience, like something that I couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to deal with, and couldn’t really understand why anyone would go through the trouble if they could help it. I made a mental note to ask Caramel about it when I got the chance.
"Yeah, I don't see how anyone would want to deal with it either, but I do anyway," I said. "It's just so depressing to have to think about."
“I mean, I’ll call you whatever you want, dude,” Rainbow said. “I don't see why you would do that, but I'll call you a boy if you want. It doesn’t make any difference to me. If you- whoa! What are you-”
“Where is that filly?” a familiar voice echoed loudly behind me, one that made the hair on my neck stand up as I flinched reflexively. I turned around slowly and came face to face with the pony from last night, and although not nearly as scary looking tonight, lacking regalia and things, I couldn’t help but yelp and fall on my butt because of her.
“Don’t pick me up again!” I yelled as I backed away while she stood over me. “I don’t want to be dropped from the ceiling again! Don’t come near me!”
“I- we are quite sorry, little filly,” the mare started before I interrupted them. “We did not mean-”
“I’m not a filly! I’m a colt! I don’t want to be called that!” I told her as I realized I was on my back and quickly crossed my legs. I had to admit, I was more than a bit on edge right then, but this pony, Nightmare Moon, was the last person I’d expected to see right then. I could tell the sun was still raised from looking out the window, so I didn’t know what she was still doing here. As far as I knew and what she said, she wanted to make the night last forever. I thought Celestia said she was dealing with this, and I felt absolutely terrified about the idea that she was here again now.
And heights. I absolutely did not want to be picked up again. I couldn’t stand heights and these ponies were way too touchy and close and far to quick to just pick me up out of the blue. I hated it, especially the last time when she was screaming at me and dropped me on purpose. I didn’t want to cry, but I knew if she picked me up again, I was going to.
“Please just go away! I don’t want you to try and hurt me!”
“I’m so sorry,” she apologized as she took a step back, keeping her space, the four girls with me moving away from her as Lofty and Rainbow Dash looked ready to jump on top of her. “I- if it’s acceptable, I’d like to extend my formal apology to you all, especially you,” she said, looking directly at me. “My actions the previous night were not reflective of the pony I am, and- and… and I’m sorry for them.” She hung her head low in shame, and seemed genuinely apologetic, which surprised me. It was a stark contrast to what I saw last night, even her physical appearance looking different, but I decided that I would take it if it meant that she was done attacking and wouldn't pick me up again. Rainbow Dash and Lofty, however, seemed much more angry and reluctant.
“You know you could’ve hurt her- him, right?” Lofty reprimanded her angrily. “You cut these fillies all up, too. And look at Rainbow Dash! It’s lucky she caught Asher. You could’ve killed somepony!”
“That’s right!” Rainbow Dash agreed. “I can’t see how you can apologize to us after that! You belong in Tartarus after what you did! It’s not right!”
“I am so sorry for my behavior,” she apologized, her face almost to the floor. “You are absolutely right. I deserve to be locked in Tartarus, without your forgiveness. However, as undeserving as I am, I ask, if only for my sister’s sake, that you have forgiveness upon me.”
I had to admit, I was angry about what happened just as much as those two, but she did seem apologetic, and looked and sounded and acted differently now than she did back then. Not to mention, her bringing up Celestia reminded me again that this was her fault. She said she expected this to happen, so I knew she had a hand, er, hoof, in what happened last night and it wasn’t entirely this pony’s fault. Still, she should’ve known better than to act like that, but I decided to forgive her. I knew it was always better to forgive someone, especially if they asked for it.
“I- I forgive you,” I said, more quietly than I wanted to, “but please don’t do that again. I am glad though that you came to us. It means that you actually are sorry, which I appreciate. Thank you. But- but don't do that again, please.” I looked up in her eyes to assure her that I forgave her, but I could tell she could see that I was still uncomfortable.
“Never shall I ever,” she assured me. “I shall not allow what came over me yesterday to come over me again from this day forth. You’ve my word on that.”
“Yeah, well… I guess if Asher forgives you, I’ll forgive you, too,” Rainbow decided reluctantly. “But I’m watching you. If you take one step out of line, you’ll get my hoof in your face.”
“And it would be deservedly so if I should do so,” she told her. “As well, I will make sure the Crown supplies you, both of you, with bits for what I put you through. It was completely inappropriate on my part, and once again, I can’t express my apologies enough.”
“You don’t need to do that,” I said. “You don’t need to give us money. We’re okay.”
“But if you want to, we’ll take it,” Rainbow added quickly. I gave her a look and she shrugged, saying, “What? We deserve it after what she did last night, and she’s offering, so…”
“I assure you, it’s no trouble at all. And after seeing the state you are in and knowing how I could have… well, suffice it to say, it’s the very least I can do to repay you.”
“Well, we appreciate the gesture, but we don’t need it. Um, but thank you anyway.”
"But if you want to give us money, we won't say no," Rainbow Dash finished.
It was silent for a few moments after that, uncomfortably so. I felt like Nightmare Moon was looking right through me with big, sad eyes, and didn’t like the fact that she felt bad about me because of something Celestia did, or rather, didn’t do. I wanted to tell her that part of it wasn’t her fault, but as much as I was disliking the princess right then, I decided I was going to stay silent on the issue for now. I still planned on telling her off, but I didn’t want her to scream at me during it and do something rash, which I was honestly thinking might still happen anyway.
“I- if it’s acceptable to you, you’re under no obligation to say yes- would like to get to know you, both of you, better. May we sit down for tea sometime soon?”
I looked to Rainbow to see what she’d say, and watched her look up thoughtfully before she told her, “Sure, but it’ll have to be next week or later. I’m gonna be in this bed all day today, and maybe tomorrow, so I have a lot of training to make up for.”
“I understand, and once again, I extend my sincerest apology to you both. I will mark on my calendar when our visit should be, but for now, I will have to be going so I can make a formal apology to the citizens of this town for my behavior last night.”
“Um, okay. Thank you for the apology,” I told her. “That made me feel better.”
“Thank you for your forgiveness,” she told me kindly, bowing again. “Thank you for having grace for my sister’s sake. I shall be off now. Farewell, until we meet again.” With that, she teleported away, off to… somewhere.
“Well that was something,” Lofty commented after a moment. “I wasn’t expecting that, but… good, I guess? Anyway, have you kiddos had breakfast yet?”
“Yup! We’re here now visiting Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo answered. “Plus, Princess Celestia is gonna visit Asher, too!”
Lofty had a look on her face like she didn’t exactly like that idea, and said, “Well, when she comes around, I’d like to try to talk to her myself for a minute. I think-”
I cleared my throat and she looked at me. When she did, I gave her a look that told her she shouldn’t talk about what I was starting to tell her last night in front of them.
“Well… anyway, let’s leave those two alone for now. We can greet the princess in the lobby, kiddos. What do you say about that?”
The four girls agreed and quickly left the two of us alone, Rainbow asking, “What was that about? I could tell you wanted them to leave. What’s going on?”
I sighed and answered, “You’ll see in a few minutes when Celestia comes by.”
Author's Note
Hey! The next chapter is already finished and on my Patreon (unedited). You can read ahead for 5 dollars. If you don't want to, that's fine, too! It should be uploaded here October 11th.
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Celestia took a deep breath, calming her nerves as Twilight stood at her side in front of the hospital doors. She hoped that this meeting would go smoothly. She couldn’t see why it wouldn’t, but Asher was a bit of an unpredictable one. The filly’s entrance into Equestria has already pushed events to happen differently than what she’d expected and she wanted to keep control of the situation. Not being in control made her anxious, as well as frustrated her.
She only waited a moment after taking a breath before entering the building, the receptionist gasping at the sight of her.
“P-p-p-princess Celestia!” she stuttered. “Wh-what are you doing here? We just- we saw Nightmare Moon and-”
“Fear not, my little pony,” she told her kindly, but with authority. “Nightmare Moon is no more. The only pony you saw was my sister, Luna. If you would though, could you-”
“Princess Celestia!” a group of fillies cheered, interrupting her. The group ran up to her and hugged her legs, which made her giggle. As they did though, she noticed the mare with them, Lofty if she remembered correctly, had an almost sour expression on her face. However, she didn’t change her own face in the face of this, opting instead to ignore it. She did make a note to ask Asher about what she might have told the couple.
“See Diamond? I told you the princess was coming to visit Asher! He really is from another world like he said!”
“Woooow… is that true, princess?” Diamond Tiara asked as she looked directly up at her. “Is Asher really from another world, or is that just a joke? Are you really gonna talk to her?”
She laughed at that, telling them, “Why yes, I am going to talk to your friend, but you should ask for yourself if you’re curious about their origin. Unfortunately though, I will have to chat with you all later, as I mustn’t keep my sister long. If you could direct me to where your friend is at?”
“Oh, he’s in room four with Rainbow Dash!” Sweetie Belle told her. “We can show you where it’s at if you want!”
“That’s quite alright, little filly, but I do appreciate the gesture. Thank you.” With that, she left them, not wasting any time to make her way inside.
As she did, she thought about how it was interesting that more than one pony called her ‘he’ as she requested. She also noted that she did tell ponies about her alien status in Equestria and worried about it a bit. However, she put those thoughts out of her head for now and focused on the task at hand.
She and her student entered the room and could immediately tell how heavy the air was. While the pony in the bed, Rainbow Dash she knew, looked surprised by her appearance, Asher was clearly expecting her, and had seated herself in a chair and glared at her when she walked in.
“Good morning, my little ponies,” she greeted kindly. “I’m sorry to see the condition you’re in after last night's events, but I do hope you’re feeling better this morning.”
“Yeah…” Asher replied, a tone in her voice indicating she wanted to say more. Before she could though, Rainbow Dash interrupted.
“Wow, you’re actually visiting us, Princess Celestia?” the mare asked. “I can’t believe it! Oh! Can you put in a recommendation to the Wonderbolts about me? You should’ve seen the way I fought Nightmare Moon last night!”
“I’ll certainly see what I can do, but for now, you should focus on resting and healing yourself, my little pony. I do hope you’re able to recover from your injuries in a timely manner.”
“Awww, thanks princess!” Rainbow told her happily. “But don’t you worry about me! I’ll be back on cloud patrol in a jiffy! You should’ve seen how clear the skies were last night because of me!”
“They were quite so,” she agreed, “and your work is appreciated. I’m very happy to meet you, although I must ask if it’s acceptable that I take Asher to the side for now and converse with her alone?”
“Oh, I’m sorry! Absolutely! I can’t believe you’re asking me that! Don’t let me stop you, go right ahead!”
With that, the alicorn turned to the filly and asked, “Asher, if you would?”
“Fine,” she sighed. “Let’s get this over with.”
I barely noticed that the librarian was with us when the three of us entered an empty room in the back of the hospital. I was focused entirely on Celestia at that point and trying to think of how I would say what I wanted to say. I was angry, and wanted her to know exactly how wrong what she did was, but didn’t want to scream and yell like I felt was bubbling up inside of me. I had to control myself and be level-headed. From what I already knew about her, I knew she was going to try and make excuses. She seemed like the type to do so, and I wanted to refute them every step of the way.
There were a couple of chairs in the room, so I took a seat while the two of them stood in front of me. Twilight gave me a slightly nervous smile and a wave as I did, although I didn't return it, still peeved about what she told me yesterday. Not that she noticed, immediately turning to the princess speaking to her.
"I met with her yesterday," she explained, "although it was just for a few minutes-"
"I'm not a 'her'," I immediately corrected for her, sounding a bit aggressive with it, wanting to make sure this was made clear in the beginning. "I'm a 'he'," I said, "and that's what I want to be called."
"Didn't we talk about this before?" the mare asked. "You're just a little filly. Even if you feel like you're a colt, that doesn't make you a colt."
"Yes it- mmmmm…" I trailed off, trying to think of how to phrase my argument. I couldn't say that it did, because I didn't really believe that either. I mean, I was a boy, but I had to think about it from her perspective. I thought about Caramel for a moment and tried to think about how I would argue on their behalf before coming up with something.
"Okay, first of all," I started, "I am a boy. I was born a male and that is how I will stay the rest of my life regardless of what happens to me. Since I was born as a male, even though I look like a female now, I'm still a male. But-" I watched her raise her hoof to interject but ignored her, continuing, "but there is a thing called respect. Even if you don’t think I’m a boy, it’s still respectful to call me what I want to be called.” I felt slightly ashamed that it took all of this happening to me to realize it was disrespectful to go against people the way I had been, but clearly it was a lesson that other people needed to learn, too. Other ponies as well it seemed.
“Well, I can be respectful,” she countered, “but there’s a limit to how far that extends. I wouldn’t call you a manticore if you said you were a manticore, either, because that’s not what you are.”
“I just told you that I am a man!” I said. “Even given that truth matters, I was born as a male . I was a male every single day of the first almost quarter-century of my life up to two weeks ago!” I glanced up at the princess who stood behind her, noting that she stayed oddly quiet during the exchange, and gave her a look to tell her to agree with me.
“But that’s not what you are right now, so-”
“Twilight,” Celestia finally said, “Asher is speaking the truth when they say that they are a male. I’m unsure if they’ve told you this before, but they are not native to Equestria. Where they come from, they are indeed male. They’ve been transformed since coming here, however.”
I noticed her use of the word ‘they’ to refer to me rather than he, but didn’t take offense to it. I figured that either way, it was so much better than being called a girl, and silently wondered to myself about using those pronouns for Caramel.
“But that’s not what she is right now!” the purple pony protested.
“Quite true,” the pony said, “but not everything that’s true needs to be said, Twilight. A lesson you should learn, that everypony needs to learn at that.”
“Well, it’s not true, but even if it was, I wouldn’t want to be called a girl, okay?”
The librarian, Twilight, rolled her eyes and scoffed, “Whatever.” I could tell she absolutely didn’t like the idea, and was about to say something else before Celestia broke in first.
“It’s not whatever, Twilight Sparkle. This is the pony who will be living with you for the time being. Please be respectful, even if you disagree.”
She sighed at that, simply saying, “Yes, princess.”
“Good, now that that’s settled, we can make formal introductions between you two. Asher, this is my student, Twilight Sp-”
“Before we do all that,” I interrupted, “I want to talk to you about what happened yesterday, because what happened was, honestly, not right.”
I could tell she looked nervous by that idea, sending the briefest glance to her student. However, she didn’t decline. In fact, she stayed silent, giving me the floor and waiting for me to speak first.
“What happened yesterday, with Nightmare moon,” I told her, “wasn’t okay. It’s not okay for you to just let that happen. It’s not okay for you to just let people- err, ponies- be hurt while you sit back and do nothing.” I didn’t try to keep the anger out of my voice, scowling as I said it, wanting her to know just how upset I was about it.
“I understand, but I think you’re misunderstanding what happened last night, Asher.”
“How can I possibly-” I tried to get out before she held up a hoof to stop me.
“Do you remember what I told you before, when you and I were speaking in Canterlot together?”
“Yes, you said that your sister was going to come back and cause chaos and that she-” I used a hoof to point in Twilight’s direction, “-would fix it. Which means you knew she was coming, you knew she would potentially hurt ponies, and did nothing about it anyway.”
“Princess Celestia would never do that!” the librarian yelled angrily. “You can’t talk to her like that!”
“Be at ease, Twilight,” Celestia told her, placing a wing on her back as she did so. “It’s quite alright for ponies to have concerns about what happened last night. Although I must say, Asher, it sounds like you took what I said and came to your own conclusions about it. I only told you that my sister, Princess Luna, would be returning and that my student would aid in handling her return. Nothing more, certainly nothing about letting havoc wreak.”
“No, no you’re twisting that,” I argued. “The fact that you knew she was gonna come here and you knew who she was means that you knew she was going to do what she did, even if you didn’t say it.”
“I will admit, I did know that Nightmare Moon was ready to return from her banishment, but once again, I had planned for my student to take care of things, and that she has. I would honestly say that I’m quite proud of her.”
Twilight smiled bashfully, but I didn’t buy it, continuing, “That’s all good, but it sounds like you’re just setting things so that can happen, and it’s not okay.”
“You spoke of that deity before, God, correct? And you talked about how you were trying to figure out why you were in Equestria and what you should be doing here. Would that not be the same thing?”
“You are not God!” I yelled angrily at her. “Don’t you try and use that argument because you are not God! It’s not the same thing at all, not in the slightest!”
“Quite sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you with the comparison. In any case, I knew she was coming, and that’s why I got my student on the case. Nothing more.”
“Well it sure sounds like you’re playing games with my life and the lives of other ponies, and I don’t appreciate it.”
“Believe me when I say that I would never do such a thing. I would never intentionally put any of my little ponies in harm’s way, whether it be you or somepony else. That is not how I take my responsibilities to rule over Equestria.”
I didn't believe that and didn’t want to let her off the hook that easily, but it was difficult thinking of ways to refute what she was saying. It was so long ago that we talked in her castle, and I was still halfway sick during it so I didn’t retain as much of what she said as I should have. I quickly, silently went through the conversation in my head for a minute to try and poke holes in it before I finally came up with something.
“If you’re not trying to play games, then how come you didn’t want me to tell her about what you told me back there?” I asked. “You said not to tell her, and if that’s not playing games with people’s lives-”
“I asked you not to say those things because I needed my student to worry about making friends with the ponies around her. If she were more focused on my sister than she was on making friends, things might have turned out quite differently last night. You might not know this, but friendship here in Equestria is a powerful tool, more powerful than even the magic I possess. Knowing my student, she wouldn’t have stopped to make friends for even one minute had I mentioned my sister, and making friends was a crucial part in gathering the Elements of Harmony and ridding her of the Nightmare. It’s not a task any one pony could do alone.” As she said it, Twilight smiled smugly at the explanation, clearly happy that Celestia was winning the argument.
“I… I still feel like you’re lying. Well, maybe not lying, but being mistruthful. I feel like you’re trying to spin this in your favor, but there’s no way I can disprove it, and it’s annoying. If you’re as powerful as you say you are and planned for this to happen so that librarian could fix it-”
“Well, I’m not a librarian,” Twilight said. “I’m the princess’s student, although I do see it as my job to maintain the library while I’m there.”
“-then how come you couldn’t do anything about it, or protect the city or something, or cancel the holiday altogether? Even assuming all of that is true, it seems pretty irresponsible to me and like you were setting it up to be dangerous just so she could save the day.”
“Well, I can only say that I had the best intentions at heart, but I won’t go round in circles with you on this. I doubt your mind will be changed on my account if you’re not convinced of my intentions.”
“Yeah, well, regardless of your intentions, that’s how it looks from my point of view, so I would at least consider that before making plans like this again. It just looks suspicious and it’s making me angry just thinking about it. But of course, there’s no way that I can prove my point of view correct. All I can do is argue against your version of things, which everyone is going to believe. It’s not fair, especially considering what happened last night because of what you were doing.”
“I see…” the princess trailed off thoughtfully. “Thank you for your consideration on that matter. I do appreciate hearing how I’m perceived in my rule, and will make further note of it. Thank you.”
I was still glaring when I finished, not really satisfied by how the conversation turned out. There was no apology or remorse on her part, only excuses. I could tell she was trying to keep painting herself as being in the right when I knew she wasn’t, and it only made the situation more upsetting. If she was doing this now while I was telling her off, she was going to do it again when I wasn’t there. The fact that she was smiling at the end of it as though everything was fine when it clearly wasn’t only reiterated that fact and it made me want to grind my teeth in frustration. She was lying, I knew she was lying, but I had no way to prove it. It was effectively my word against hers.
Twilight, on the other hand, had a glaring expression on her face, like she wanted to yell at me for telling off her teacher but had to restrain herself from doing so. I knew the first second she got, she was going to tell me off, and considered that to be a good thing, because then at least I might be able to try and get my point through to her. Celestia claimed that she was her student and that she didn’t do anything last night so she could be the hero, so she was just as much a part of this as her winged counterpart, even if simply as a pawn.
“In any case, if we could move on please, I’d like to introduce you to my faithful student, Twilight Sparkle. Twilight, this is Asher.”
“Nice to meet you, ma’am ,” the pony sneered, holding out her hoof to shake. That word, the way she said it, got under my nerves more than any other time since I’d been here. Even if I hated it, everyone else has a reasonable excuse to use female pronouns on me. She, however, had just been told that it was a rude thing to do, and did it anyway just to get under my skin. In front of her teacher and the ruler of this country, no less. It made me grind my teeth in anger.
The urge to one-up her by telling her ‘Thank you, sir’ was unbelievably strong, but I forced myself not to. Just because she was being disrespectful didn’t mean I had to be disrespectful back. I had to be better than that. Not to mention, I basically did a largely similar thing just yesterday, so I wasn’t really one to talk.
“But that was different because I was- no. No, don’t make excuses for why. Just acknowledge that it was wrong. Making excuses is how you enable yourself to do it again. Even if you don’t believe that he’s- they’re- a girl, you still have to be respectful. Something that this pony clearly doesn’t know, or at least just doesn’t care about, seeing as Celestia said as much already.”
I didn’t take her hoof, deciding instead to just glare at her, watching as Celestia sighed in disappointment.
“I can see it’s going to be a long morning,” she said.
Author's Note
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Celestia had never felt more embarrassed in her whole life.
She couldn’t believe that she had just been told off about the way she rules, by a filly, no less, and in front of her student. It was embarrassing, and it took all her self control not to show anger in front of Twilight. Had the two been more alone, she would have certainly quipped back at Asher, but in this situation couldn’t. She was forced to let her get away with it for now.
She didn’t waste any time going back outside to find her sister so she could bring her to the mayor of Ponyville for a public apology, but before she got outside, she was confronted by Asher's guardian, Lofty, near the doors to the building.
“Um, e-excuse me, Princess Celestia?” she stuttered before remembering to give a quick bow.
“No need to bow to me, my little pony,” the princess said politely. “What ever may it be that I can help you with?”
“Um, I- I was just wondering, Princess… why- why were you going to see Asher?” Lofty asked. “I mean, I know he’s not from Equestria, but he said something about how what happened last night, with Nightmare Moon, I mean… he said that was your fault, and I was wondering if that was true… if- if that’s okay to ask.”
“Don’t make a face,” the alicorn told herself as she closed her eyes and took a breath. “Don’t make a face. You can express your anger later, but not right now, not to your subjects.”
As she opened her eyes again, she replied, “That is a very good question, and I’m glad you asked it. I always love to see that my little ponies want to know the why of things. However, I don’t have time at this moment to delve into that. If you’d like though, I could send you correspondence with all those details on there for you to read at a later date?” As she said it, she made a note to make official correspondence just in case word of last night’s events spread beyond Ponyville. A small chance, but a non-zero chance. She would make sure to get that taken care of.
“Yes, that- that would be nice, please. Thanks.”
“Was there anything else I could help you with, Miss Lofty?” Celestia asked as she tilted her head, sounding more like a secretary than the Princess of Equestria.
“No, no that was all. Umm, thank you… I really didn’t think you’d be this approachable. I thought you’d either just ignore me or just brush me off. Th-thank you, really.”
“No trouble at all, my little pony. If you do ever have any concerns, don’t be afraid to make the trip to Canterlot to speak to me directly. My court is always open to any pony who feels the need to discuss something with me. As well, you can send a letter to me detailing your concerns if you wish. I do make sure to read each and every letter every one of my subjects sends to me.”
“O-okay. Th-thank you princess.” With that, the mare bowed again as Celestia gave her a kind smile and went on her way, fuming internally about how the whole holiday had turned out.
The air was thick between Twilight Sparkle and I when Celestia left. She did the introductions for us, explaining who we were to each other and that I would be staying with Twilight until further notice. But after that, she quickly headed out, seeming like she was in a bit of a hurry to get away. I didn’t say one word the entire time she introduced us, and the librarian hardly spoke either. I could tell she was interested in me and had about a hundred questions she wanted to ask, but it seemed like she wanted to save face in front of me and play it cool.
“So…” she finally started once it was just the two of us left, completely alone. “Are you gonna explain why you thought you could talk to the princess like that?”
“Nope,” I answered, not feeling much like talking after all of that, and especially not to her.
“You know, she could charge you with contempt, and you’re very lucky she didn’t,” she continued, clearly not getting the hint that I didn’t want to talk to her. I started to walk away and she followed behind me, going on, much to my deep frustration.
“I mean, she’s the highest authority in Equestria! If you don’t respect her of all ponies, who do you respect? I know she said you’re not from Equestria, but clearly you know by now just how important she is! Do ponies where you come from just not care about respecting their superiors? How can a society like that even run?”
I marched right past Lofty and company, too upset too even acknowledge them. I could tell she wanted to say something, but opted not to, letting me walk out of the hospital with Twilight right behind me.
“I thought you said you were an adult, too!” she criticized. “What adult speaks to somepony like that? You know, for somepony who says they’re not a little filly, you certainly are acting like one.”
That made me stop abruptly so I could take a breath to keep myself calm. Twilight bumped right into my tail as I did so, but I didn’t notice much as I tried to keep myself from turning around and telling her off. I clenched my jaw to keep myself from screaming, taking a few deep breaths for a minute before starting off again, doing my best to ignore her. She started off behind me again to follow, but this time stayed silent, giving me time to cool off just a little bit as I headed back to Lofty and Holiday’s house.
“What are we doing here?” the mare asked. “Celestia said you were living with me, remember?”
“She said we were living together, yes,” I responded, making a point to phrase it that way so she knew she wasn’t in charge of me like she likely thought, “but I do have stuff I need to get.”
“Oh, well, don’t take too long, little filly. I know we just met, but want to get home and go to sleep after last night.”
“Then go home and go to sleep,” I responded, much more aggressively than I had intended, not turning around to look at her as I entered. “I’m not your son.”
With that, I stomped into the house, using all my willpower to not slam the door behind me. I was shaking with how angry I felt, both about how that mare had treated me and about the conversation we had with Celestia. I could officially say I didn’t like either of them or how they acted, and hated that I largely couldn’t do anything about it. I hated knowing that my life in this world was basically going to be dictated by those two, and that one of them was almost certainly working against the ponies they claimed to protect.
And these emotions. I hated how much I cried so far, how I was threatening to cry now. I hated my lack of emotional maturity, or at least emotional control, that I had. Even worse, I had no outlet to push my frustration to. Nothing to read or write or a job to work every day or real people to vent to who weren’t kids or adults had that patronizing tone with me. It was grinding me down, that much I knew.
“I hate this place,” I found myself thinking as one or two tears dripped down, even more frustrated that I didn’t have any hands to clench. “I. Hate. This. Place. God, why is this happening to me?”
“Asher?” I suddenly heard Holiday say as she caught sight of me and made her way over. “What are you doing back so soon? Did you see Princess Celestia? What’s wrong?”
“She’s what’s wrong!” I screamed, unable to stop myself. “That princess and her student acting like there’s nothing wrong when there is! You can’t treat people like that and expect everything to be okay!”
I briefly wondered to myself that if me and that librarian’s positions were reversed, would I have treated her the way she did me? It only took me a second though to decide that I wouldn’t have. She, Twilight, was being spiteful for spitefulness’s sake.
“How were they treating you?” Holiday asked with concern. “Asher?”
“Celestia’s acting like there’s nothing wrong with letting her sister try to hurt me when she dropped me from the ceiling and Twilight’s intentionally calling me ‘ma’am’ and ‘little filly’ and stuff because she knows that it’s going to get to me. I hate it!”
“Wait, is she doing that on purpose? Have you told her you don’t like that?”
“She’s absolutely doing it on purpose!” I yelled. “She needs to stop! And I know it’s not very adult-like to yell about it, but it’s pissing me off, and she’s not gonna do what I want or listen to me because of how I look!”
“You don’t worry about that, Asher,” she assured me, placing a hoof on my head and patting me. “I know it’s not exactly what you want, but you go get your stuff while I take care of this. Okay? Just give me five minutes.”
I was a bit upset that she would have to deal with this for me because of how ponies looked at me, but figured that it wouldn’t matter much so long as it was indeed dealt with. With that in mind, I went to get my stuff, which wasn’t much. Only a few books and a notepad, along with my hoodie, which I very much considered leaving here because of how feminine it looked. Despite that though, I placed my things on my back and headed back down to the living room, waiting for Holiday to come back inside and tell me it was okay to go out again. I assumed she was explaining to Twilight about me even though the princess had already told her to be respectful to me, and didn’t want to interrupt her.
It was a while that she was out there, less like five minutes and more like twenty. I couldn’t hear what the two were saying, but just a glance out the window showed me that the two were going at it. It didn’t look like they were yelling, but they were clearly arguing, that much was certain. I only watched for a little while before going to sit down and look through the translation book until she was done.
When she was, she came back inside quieter than I expected, almost sneaking up on me. I watched her close the door gently and face me, wearing a largely calm expression on her face, able to wipe the anger she had from her whole face except for her eyes, which looked like they wanted to burn holes in everything around her. It was a strange sight to see from a pony like her and what I knew about her in my time living there, and while I did feel a bit bad for getting her involved, I was more glad to see that she was angry. It meant she was on my side, which I appreciated.
“I know you spent time getting them, but you can put your things away, dear,” she told me in an even, flat voice. “You’re not going with her.”
I didn’t question her at all, happily following her request to put my stuff back up.
Twilight honestly couldn’t believe her ears when she heard Holiday say that the filly wasn’t going with her. Sure, she didn’t want to live with her as much as Asher didn’t, but it was an order from Princess Celestia! It wasn’t something she could just… decline . She stood in stunned silence for a second, considering going to the door to argue her point further, but decided against it. She could just as easily find her teacher and bring it up with her, and bring it up she would.
But first was sleep. She felt like she was starting to get cranky after being up so late, and hoped that it was the case for Holiday, too. She would head home and get a decent night’s (or day’s) sleep and then maybe see about confronting Holiday again. But if all else failed, she would go to her mentor. She knew she would be on her side, even if she really didn’t feel like taking care of a foal who acted like an adult.
“I do wonder about her though,” the mare thought to herself. “Where does she come from that she thinks she can act like that? And did she really come from another world? I have so many questions to ask her… but first, I need to go to sleep.”
I honestly expected Twilight to be immediately knocking on the door, just given what I thought her personality was in all of 15 minutes of interaction with her total, but surprisingly, she didn’t. I looked out the window after I put my stuff away to see her looking back and forth between our house and the main part of town before finally deciding to trot away. I let out a relieved sigh at that, then turned to Holiday, who I noticed was watching with me.
“I’m pretty sure she’s going to go to Celestia to tell her that I’m still here,” I commented. “Actually, I’m confident she will, and then she’ll make me go with her anyway. But thank you for sticking up for me. It means a lot.”
“It’s not any trouble at all, especially with the way she was treating you,” she responded kindly. “And I’m pretty sure Princess Celestia won’t let you go with somepony so mean. Or at the very least, she’ll talk some sense into her since she clearly needs it. But I’m sure everything will turn out alright.”
“I can only say I certainly hope so,” I told her simply, still staring out the window, Twilight now long gone. I hoped that the princess could talk some sense into her, but I was doubtful, given her history. Not to mention, she already told Twilight not to act like that, but Twilight did anyway. I wasn’t confident in what telling her a second time would do.
“Lord, I do want to thank you for giving me Holiday and Lofty in my life,” I prayed, closing my eyes to do so. “I know I disagreed with… certain aspects about them before, but I truly thank you for bringing them into my life. I ask that you continue to guide me as you always have, and that I stay under your watchful eye. Amen.”
“So what do we have planned for the rest of the day?” I asked expectantly. “Is there anything else we need to do?”
“Nothing you need to do,” she answered. “Was there something you want to do?”
“Not really, but… can I test my handwriting? And see how much of the alphabet I can remember in Ponish?”
She obliged me, and we spend the next while going through what I remembered, which wasn’t very much. Only a few of the ‘a’ and ‘e’ sounds. Still, it was progress from the nothing I knew a few days ago at least, and I decided to accept it.
After that I flipped through to a lesson in the calculus book. I limited myself to only looking at one or two lessons a week so I wouldn’t get bored or run out of material, even if I already knew how to do it all, but I found myself not paying attention and wanting a book on marketing. I wondered how you would market a product to a group of people… err, ponies, that had successful businesses like “Quills and Sofas”. It would be interesting to read about it if I could get my hands on something like that. It would be useful for starting some sort of restaurant in this world.
“Look at me,” I thought to myself. “I’ve basically already given up any hope of leaving this place after two weeks. This is so depressing. But I do know that God is with me, so that’s something. Even if I’m here, it won’t be that bad…”
“Hey, Asher?” Holiday started suddenly as I lay on the floor in front of her. “I think we should buy you a book on biology.”
“Huh? What?” I asked, completely confused. “What are you talking about?” The idea came out of nowhere to me.
“Well, I know you said you were a male, and we guessed that you were around nine years old, so you’re probably getting towards that time where your body-”
“No,” I interrupted forcefully, catching the mare off guard. “I’m… I’m gonna vomit thinking about that. I do not want to talk about that at all. Not… no.”
“I know it’s not a fun conversation, but it’s something that everypony has to-”
“Honestly,” I interrupted before she could continue, “I’d rather not think about things that I can’t control that are probably gonna happen in the future when I don’t have to because I already have really bad dysphoria just being a pony in general, let alone a girl. So please just let me… not? If I can help it?”
“I’m sorry,” she apologized, frowning sadly now. “I just- I know you’re an adult, but Lofty and I don’t have any foals of our own, and I- I want to be there for you. I hope you can see where I’m coming from.”
“I understand,” I replied, “but it’s not something I want to talk about because it’s gonna make me feel more awful than I already do. At the very least not right now. If I… have questions… I’ll ask.”
With that, the conversation ended awkwardly, but that thought that I was a girl now had already started to take hold in my head and work it’s way into my brain, and I tried to force it out.
“Think about something else, think about something else… ugh, why is this happening to me? This isn’t fair…”
“Can we… go out to eat lunch or something?” I asked suddenly, breaking the silence that was starting to build up. “Or go to the park? I need to clear my head after that. This day has not been great so far for me.”
“Oh, well, yes, of course we can organize a public apology!” Mayor Mare exclaimed as Luna stood before her, bending on a knee and bowing down to her. “Ah, did you want it to happen today?”
“The sooner, the better we say,” Luna responded as she stood back up. “As soon as we can, we would like to bring attention to how shameful our actions were.”
“Oh, well, we can have it scheduled for this afternoon if you’d like? Or maybe tomorrow morning?”
“Tomorrow morning would be preferred,” Celestia announced, transporting her voice into the room a second before she appeared. Everypony in the room with her immediately bowed down, but she raised a hoof to ask them to rise back up.
“I hope it’s acceptable to you all if I may spend this day with my little sister,” she spoke. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen her, and I would like to spend time catching up with her, if that’s acceptable to you, of course.”
“Oh, well, of course it is!” the mayor answered, much to Celestia’s satisfaction. “Anytime that works for you both would be absolutely perfect!... not that you have to do anything, of course! I’m just letting you know that-”
“We understand and appreciate the sentiment,” the princess interrupted. “Tomorrow would be better, however. I do think everypony could benefit from a day’s rest. As well, it would allow my sister time to prepare what she wanted to say, right, Princess Luna?”
"Quite so,” she agreed. “I do absolutely express my sincerest apologies to you, however,” she told her. “I don’t expect your forgiveness, but I do hope you would find it in your heart for my sister’s sake.”
“That’s quite enough, dear sister,” Celestia told her. “I’m certain you’ll have much to say tomorrow. For now though, would you care to take a stroll with me and do some catching up?”
It was more of a statement than a question, and the two of them found themselves outside, walking in a park nearby the town hall. There were hardly any ponies out right now after being up so late the night before, and the princess found a place for she and her sister to sit in peace.
“My dear Luna,” she started immediately, “I must confess something to you, and I do wish for you to hold your anger until after I’m finished.”
“Anger at you?” the blue alicorn replied. “Sister, I’m quite glad you’ve held your anger at me for so long. Whatever do you wish to say?”
She sighed but didn’t waste time, replying, “With yesterday’s events, your reaction, I must say that I knew of your return, dear sister.”
“Hmm, yes, of course. I’d expect as much. I do believe I, or rather, Nightmare Moon, told you herself that the stars would aid in our escape.”
“What I’m saying is,” she finished, “I knew what was coming but didn’t prepare. I wanted my student to take care of what was to happen. Unfortunately, certain things… they didn’t go exactly as planned.”
She didn’t want to explicitly say that it was partly her fault that Luna was able to hurt ponies, but she didn’t want it to get out and have her learn from somepony else. It was a difficult situation to navigate for her.
“Oh,” Luna responded simply, causing her sister to internally grimace. “I see. I… never would have imagined you as the type to sit back and watch events unfold.” Celestia’s ears flattened at that, something that was very rare for her to do. It was Luna’s subtle way of saying that she understood what Celestia was getting at.
“May I ask why you would leave it to that unicorn? What was her name? Twilight Sparkle?”
“Yes, that’s who. If I can help it, I would like to begin preparing her to take my- our - place as ruler of Equestria. I sent her here to Ponyville so she could make friends and control the Elements of Harmony to purge you of the Nightmare once and for all. However, unforeseen circumstances introduced themselves into the equation several days before your arrival that stopped that from happening.”
“Unforeseen circumstances?” Luna asked. “What would those be?”
“I’m certain you can figure it out, sister,” Celestia told her. “You apologized to them just a few minutes ago in fact.”
The alicorn scrunched her nose as she thought about it, before her eyes went wide. “That little filly?” she asked, surprised. “A little filly is what brought circumstances you couldn’t foresee?”
“Very much so, yes.”
Luna suddenly burst out laughing at that, having to take a minute to lay down in the grass kicking her hooves. Celestia only glared at her as she did, before lifting the corner of her mouth a tiny bit.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” the mare apologized as she calmed herself down, wiping a tear away with her magic. “I know last night was a very serious matter, but that you let a little filly stop that mare from controlling the Elements as you had? It sounds rather ridiculous.”
“It’s exactly as ridiculous as it sounds, Luna,” Celestia replied simply before her eye caught something. “Speaking of, here they come.”
Luna looked up along with her to see Asher and another mare making their way over, apparently deep enough in conversation that they hadn’t seen the two of them up to that point. A moment later though, the filly caught sight of them and stopped in her tracks, sending a scowling glare her way as she rolled her eyes.
“It seems she hasn’t taken much of a liking to you either, dear sister,” Luna commented as Asher and Holiday made their way over.
I couldn’t help but glare and roll my eyes as I saw Celestia and Nightmare Moon sitting under a tree casually, speaking to each other like they didn’t have a care in the world. It was in stark contrast to what I remembered happening last night and the part I knew Celestia played in it, and it made me wonder just how much the latter played along with the former in causing that mess.
“What are the odds that she decided to come to the park at the same time that I do?” I couldn’t help but wonder to myself. “Slim to none, probably.”
“This is a conversation we will have to continue later,” I heard the blue pony say as Holiday and I approached, “and I do want to continue it.” With that, she stepped up to me and gave me a kind smile, greeting, “Hello again, Asher.”
“Hello,” I replied politely as I looked up at her, giving another look to Celestia before I asked, “What are you doing out here? I didn’t really expect to see you again so soon.”
“Nor I, you,” she told me, “and yet here we are. As for why I’m here, I do think it’s a nice change of pace to lay in the sun with my sister after being banished to the moon for so long.” With that, she looked down at her hooves and said, “I do want to apologize again for my actions last night. They are not the way I’d like to portray myself, and I do hope you find a better impression of me than what you received at first.”
“Well, you apologized, so that’s something,” I told her as I looked into her eyes, watching the princess’s ear flick at that in the corner of my vision. “Not everypony- err, everyone- has the strength to do that, so I appreciate that you did.”
“My sister is quite the strong pony,” Celestia commented as she stood up, making her way over to us now, causing me to roll my eyes again. She looked down at me and smiled, greeting, “Hello once again, Asher.”
“Hi,” I responded flatly, not returning it, hoping she understood how much I didn’t like how she was acting.
There was an awkward silence for a few seconds, everyone looking at her to see if she would comment before she finally asked, “Have you gotten settled in with my student? I understand that the two of you didn’t seem quite so… tightly knit when you first met, but-”
“Nope,” I interrupted, wanting her to know upfront. “She was being disrespectful, and I told her I wasn’t going to be staying with her if she acted like that.” I sat down in the grass nonchalantly, moving in front of a tree to rest my back on. I was so done with Celestia at that point that I found myself itching a little bit to argue with her as weird as it was.
“I see. It sounds like I need to have a small chat with her. That’s not how a personal student of mine should be behaving. I assume it was the same issue you were complaining of before?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say I was complaining since it’s something that’s actually happening and does bother me, but yes. I told her not to call me a girl, and it felt like she went out of her way to do it anyway.”
“I understand. I will speak to her as soon as I can. You and I can head over now to her library home if you’d like?” I watched Holiday smile at the conversation, clearly happy that what she said would happen was following through.
“Honestly, I’d rather not stay with her at all,” I said flatly, her smile dropping again as she flinched, seeming afraid of the way I spoke to the white pony. “Especially not after that, not after she was openly being mean. Why should I?”
“I can see why you should not want to,” she said, trying to sound sympathetic but falling flat, “and I’m certain that Twilight Sparkle would rather not either. However, I do believe it is in the best interest of both of you to be staying with each other.”
I decided not to poke at that argument, not right now, and instead simply asked, “What if I don’t want to?” Celestia tilted her head in confusion, and I asked, “What if I just don’t stay with her? What then? What happens if I just decide not to? Do I get thrown in jail or something? Sent to the dungeon?”
She opened her mouth to answer but stopped, not having one. I watched the black pony next to her smirk, saying, “We do not mean to intrude, but it does seem to us that the filly had you there, dear sister.”
“Honestly,” I continued, gaining more confidence, “I really don’t appreciate you acting like you can control everything. I’m an adult, and I don’t like being ordered around like a child.”
“Being an adult means doing things you do not like to do, Asher,” Celestia replied quickly. “I expect you to know this much, even if it’s upsetting to do, since you are an adult.”
“Being an adult also means not being patronized like you’re doing right now,” I shot back, not able to help myself. “You always talk to me in that patronizing tone, and it’s annoying to hear. Everyone here does it, and it's grinding me down to the bone.”
She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment to gather herself as she said, “I’m sorry. I do not mean to come across as patronizing to you. However, I would greatly appreciate it if you would-”
“No. I’m not giving in on this like I did everything else,” I said with finality, sending a look her way that told her I meant what I said. “I’m. Not. Staying. With. Her. And that’s that.”
“I understand your concern, Asher,” she said, clenching her teeth slightly, “but I-”
“No, no buts,” I said. “I’m not doing it, so don’t start saying, ‘but’ to me.”
In hindsight, it was plain to see I was rubbing Celestia’s nerves completely raw, but I didn’t notice until she was already upon me.
“I’ve had quite enough of you barking at me as though we’re equals!” she snapped, sticking her wings out in anger as she put her muzzle in my face. It made me flinch in surprise, and I couldn’t help but be afraid as I pressed my back farther into the tree, staring right up at her. She could be downright scary when she wanted to be.
“I am not an acquaintance of yours to question and settle things with whenever you please in front of my subjects!” she said, speaking loudly, aggressively. “You are my lesser and you will stay with Twilight Sparkle! Do you understand?”
I could only nod in fear as she pressed her nose into mine, looking at me with absolute hate. I made a mental note not to push her this far again.
“Do not- do not - speak to me that way in public again!” she demanded, forcing eye contact with me for a long moment. "I expect not to be embarrassed in front of my student again, and will not allow you to address me as you continue to do!" It felt like we were locking eyes forever before she finally lit up her horn, teleporting away and leaving Holiday and I stunned. Nightmare Moon only sent a look our way.
“We thought we had a temper,” she commented casually. “Although we will admit that on a few occasions our sister’s has been shown to flash. It seems you've upset her more than I imagined. Are you okay, Asher?” I blinked in surprise for a second, hardly registering what the mare said before I answered.
“That… was scary,” I told her, still having my back fully pressed up against the tree. I shook my head clear for a moment before I continued, “But I meant what I said. I’m not living with her, and that’s final.”
The alicorn gave me a smile at that. “Quite the feisty young one,” she told me. “I can see how you might have turned my sister’s plans upside down and inside out.”
“I didn’t do anything to her,” I replied, “or to anyone for that matter, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she was blaming things on me. From what I’ve seen from her, it seems like that’s her character.”
“It’s interesting that you feel that way,” she told me. “However, I won’t be able to continue with this conversation. It’s best that I get back to Canterlot. I do have things to prepare for tomorrow. I would like once again to express nothing but my deepest, most sincere apologies to you.”
“I forgive you,” I said simply. “Thank you.”
With that, she vanished, just as quickly as Celestia did, leaving Holiday and I in the park.
“That, uh…” she trailed off as she stared blankly ahead. “That was… quite something.”
“Yes, it was,” I responded, going back to scowling. “But I really did mean it when I said I wasn’t staying with her. There’s no way she can make me, even if she gets in my face and yells at me again.”
“Ah, well… she said she was going to tell that other mare not to call you a girl anymore, so…” Holiday smiled nervously, clearly unsure of what to do, likely afraid of the princess. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but you already know that being an adult means-”
“I already know what you’re going to say,” I interrupted, “but there’s a difference between conceding things and just straight up being pushed around. I’m not going to keep being pushed around by all these ponies. I don’t care.”
All she could do was sigh at that. “Okay, Asher,” she responded, taking a spot next to me under the tree. “If you say so.”
Twilight had just barely gotten to sleep when she heard knocking on her library door. It was all she could do to roll her eyes and get up to answer it with a grunt, her tired eyes taking a moment to realize that Princess Celestia was standing in front of her.
“Twilight Sparkle,” the alicorn started before she could speak, looking down at her with a mixture of anger and seriousness on her face, wanting to make known that she expected her to listen this time.
“I’ve asked you before to treat Asher with respect,” she said, letting her voice carry a bit. “I’m telling you this once more. Even if you disagree, treat her with respect . Have I made myself clear?”
“Huh? Oh, y-y-yes, princess,” the unicorn stuttered nervously. “I- I understand, but if you're t-talking about calling her a male, I think that-”
“No buts!” she interrupted, clearly angry. “I do not want to hear excuses! You will call her what she wants to be called, and that’s final!”
She didn’t wait for a response before she stretched her wings and took to the skies, heading back to Canterlot in a huff, Twilight watching with a little bit of fear, and some annoyance.
“How did that filly get to talk to her before I did?” she silently wondered.
“Oh, Faust, that was bad,” Celestia whispered to herself as she paced around her castle bedroom. “I can’t let my temper slip like that again, especially not in public. That was bad . I’ll have to issue an apology.”
She shouldn’t have lost her cool, but in fairness to her, the filly had been pushing on her the whole day, speaking to her however she chose, as though she owned her. In front of her student, no less. She should have told her sooner not to speak to her that way rather than let her anger fester until it snapped, a thought that made her more angry with Asher.
“Calm down,” she silently told herself. “Don’t let your frustration show. You need to find a way to remedy this situation.”
She didn’t know if there was one. She seemed absolutely set on not staying with her student. It didn’t help that she spilled to everypony she talked to what her plan was for the Summer Sun Celebration. As well, it seemed that those two mares, Holiday and Lofty, were already firmly on her side, just based on the looks she got from the latter. It was a mess, and she had no idea what to do about it.
“Anxious, dear sister?” Luna suddenly asked, sneaking up on the princess. She said it with a smirk as Celestia paced, poking a bit of fun at her.
“It seems that a filly has gotten the best of you. It is not something we expected, especially from one so young.”
“Not right now, Luna,” she responded. “I don’t need teasing right now. That filly’s created quite the mess for me.” She sighed grumpily before flopping onto her bed. “I’ve no idea how to fix it. Those elements should not still be attached to me.”
“Well, it’s certainly a good thing that they are,” her sister commented, “otherwise we might still…” She frowned and look away shamefully for a second before continuing, “In any case, we think- I think- it would be best to take things slowly. We do not know the full extent of your plans, however, keeping a level head is always best, trust us on that.”
“I will not let my anger slip again,” Celestia said aloud, partially to herself. “I know it’s not Asher’s fault, but I can’t help but blame her and whatever deity she says brought her to Equestria.”
“Is she not native?” the blue alicorn asked, raising an eyebrow.
“She’s not, but that requires and explanation at another time. For now, I’d like to catch up with my little sister over a slice of cake after one thousand years away.”
“Always cake with you, dear sister,” Luna smiled.
Eventually, Lofty and the four fillies with her found their way to the park and wandered up to us.
“Asher!” Sweetie Belle called as they came up to us, Holiday casually leaning her back against the tree next to me like I was. “What was Princess Celestia like?” she asked happily. “Did you get her autograph?”
“Was she just as amazing in pony as she is from Canterlot?” Scootaloo asked eagerly.
“Um, no, I didn’t get her autograph, and sure, we’ll go with that,” I answered simply, closing my eyes. Before I did, I could see the look Lofty and Holiday were giving me, silently telling me to stay quiet on the issue. As I closed my eyes, I heard Lofty walk up and take a seat next to her wife, now laying her back against the tree as well.
“How did you get them to be friendly to each other?” she asked quietly as the four chattered to each other. “Those two pairs have hated each other for as long as I can remember. I honestly thought those two little brats were tricking Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle into trying to do something for them for a little while.”
“I didn’t do anything,” I responded, keeping my eyes closed. “I mean, I guess I said that I wasn’t going to be around them if they were going to argue about me, but that was largely it. It’s not like I came in and taught them the magic of friendship or something.”
“I’m telling you, you don’t know how much they despised each other,” she continued. “They were always at each other’s necks.”
“I mean, they’re what? Ten? Ten year olds as far as I know don’t hold grudges, not for longer than a few hours anyway.”
“Well, I can only tell you that it was much worse than you know,” she replied, giving a sigh. “I am happy to see them being friendly though. Can I ask though how it went with Princess Celestia?”
“Eh, I’ll tell you later,” I responded. “It wasn’t great though. She treats me like a pushover, and it’s annoying. I know she thinks that whatever happened is all my fault. If I’m right, it had something to do with me getting diphtheria.” I couldn’t help but shudder at the memory of all those vaccinations the doctor gave me all at once. “Apparently, according to what Nightmare Moon said,” I continued, “I ‘turned her plans upside down and inside out’.” As I said it, I caught the four of them looking at me, waiting for me to head over to them.
“I’ll tell you more later though,” I said as I got up. “I mean, you already know what she told me in Canterlot and what I told you. But since I’m supposed to be a child, I guess I should be staying physically active, shouldn’t I?” I didn’t wait for an answer as I trotted up to them, the four girls immediately asking to know what happened with Celestia.
“All I did was talk to her,” I answered. “It wasn’t exciting in the slightest. I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”
“Tell us everything!” Silver Spoon told me. “What does she look like up close? Is she scary? How strong are her wings? What does she smell like?”
That got me to raise my eyebrow. “You want to know what she smells like?” I asked, getting a nod from her in response. I couldn’t help but laugh a little at that, wanting to say something ridiculous in response. I wondered if I should joke about it, but decided that given their enthusiasm, they would probably take me at my word, so did my best to try and paint a nice picture. Even as much as I disliked Celestia, I didn’t really want to disappoint the four of them and knew Lofty and Holiday wouldn’t like it if I said how I felt. Not to mention, I was certain the princess herself would have a fit.
“I don’t know how she smells, but she was huge,” I said, playing on their excitement. “Gigantic. Her wings were wide and she flew unbelievably fast when we went to Canterlot.” Even as I said it, I had to hide my shiver. Just thinking about being as high up as I was before made me feel like I was about to have a heart attack.
“Oh! Oh! Oh!” Scootaloo got out eagerly. “Tell us what Nightmare Moon was like!”
“She was even bigger,” I started, hiding my discomfort at reliving that memory. “With sharp teeth, and an evil look in her eye. It was absolutely terrifying. She was scary and angry and I’m pretty sure she wanted to kill me. She might have to, if not for-”
“If not for Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo cheered. “When she fell down, she swooped in to save you, broken bones after fighting her before! She’s just that amazing!”
“Yes she is, and I might be very hurt without her,” I agreed. “But you know what else?” The four of them leaned forward intently as I said, “She had scary eyes. You should’ve seen them up close. They.. they…” I paused, trying to build up the tension.
“They what?” Sweetie Belle asked softly.
“They show… that they want…” I trailed off carefully, pausing again before yelling my next sentence as loud as I could. “To kill you!” I jumped out at them at the same time, making them jump back in surprise.
They screamed, and I fell back on my side, laughing hard at the prank. I looked up for a second and saw them scowling at me, and it only made me laugh harder. It was something I greatly needed after today, and yesterday for that matter, and basically all the time I spent here. I hadn’t done very much laughing, and this hard laughter at my little prank was long overdue. I got to the point where there were tears in my eyes and my stomach hurt, I was laughing for so long, and I could hear them laughing with me, which made me happy. Even if they were children, it was a nice few minutes I had.
“I was starting to think you hated fun, Asher,” Sweetie Belle said once I got the strength to sit up. “You always look like you're angry when you talk to us.”
“It was all an elaborate ruse to get you guys to fall for this one moment,” I joked. “And it worked.”
I wanted to be happy for a little while for once since I’d been here. I hadn’t had much of it in the last few weeks, and I knew I needed it. It felt nice to laugh and joke for a little while.
“Oh? You think you can scare us?” I heard Scootaloo say, glancing up for a second to see an evil look in her eye. “Take this!”
“Oh gosh! Oh gosh! Oh gosh!” Asher laughed, her eyes shut tightly as Scootaloo pounced on top of her. “Don’t tickle me!”
“It’s what you get for scaring us!” she replied, not letting up, getting the filly to wither around.
Lofty and Holiday watched the scene with smiles on their face, the latter’s looking more sad. It took her wife looking at her to silently ask why before she responded.
“We have to give him over to that mare, don’t we? There’s no way we can make an appeal to Princess Celestia, is there?”
It made Lofty sigh, her smile dropping. “Yes, we do. As nice as it would be to have Asher stay with us, he needs to be in Ponyville. Never mind what the princess says. Those two- err, those four now- would be absolutely heartbroken if he left. Even if we had the space, I’m sure if he wasn’t here, those four would just go back to fighting like before.”
It made Holiday sigh, too. “That’s what I thought,” she commented. “I don’t feel comfortable sending him to someplace he doesn’t want to be though. Even if he is mature for his age, an adult, it’s not good for him.” She let out another breath, continuing, “He’s just getting used to living here and now his situation is going to change. It’s not right, especially not with a mare like the one I spoke to earlier.”
“Well, if what I heard from you is true,” Lofty said, “I at least want to talk to that unicorn first. Even given Princess Celestia, I’m not sending him off to someplace he or we don’t feel comfortable with. She’ll have to send me to Tartarus first.”
“I understand what you mean, Lofty,” Holiday replied simply. With that, the two went back to watching the happy scene that was the five of them.
Even though I didn’t really like children, it was a nice while that we joked around. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were more reserved than Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were, but still went with them when the two suggested that they go crusading. I hung back however, having exhausted myself. I took my spot against the tree again and closed my eyes, taking a few minutes to breathe.
“Seems like you had a lot of fun, Asher,” Lofty said. “You completely wore yourself out.”
“It’s not normally what I consider fun,” I huffed, still catching my breath, “but it was nice. Laughing sometimes is a nice change of pace from dealing with dysphoria and arguing with princesses and their students.”
“Thank you, Lord,” I silently prayed, “for this moment. Thank you for giving me laughter even in a tough situation.”
“I don’t really like being tickled though, so don’t think about doing that to me,” I added.
“I’ll make a note of that,” Lofty smiled.
There was a long pause, one that made me frown in its length. I practically knew what they were going to say just by what they weren’t saying, and it made me sigh in disappointment. “I guess a couple of hours of happiness was all I was allowed to have,” I thought.
“You know what we’re going to tell you, right Asher?” the mare continued. “I can tell by the look on your face you do.”
“I do, but it’s not gonna make me change my stance. I’m not staying with her.”
“I know, but… I know we told you this before, but we’re not staying in Ponyville, Asher,” she told me, frowning sadly. “You do know that, right?”
I did know that, but somehow it completely slipped my mind. That meant that even if they wanted to keep me with them, I was going to be forced into doing what I didn’t want to do. Again.
“Lord, why?” I asked. “I thank you for all that you’ve given me, but why do I have to do this? I wish I knew why what that princess wants to happen has to happen…”
“And I assume I can’t go with you two wherever you’re going can I?” I asked, not waiting for an answer. “This is so depressing.” I laid down on my stomach and put my head in my hooves, wishing that something about my situation could be changed, and knowing that it probably wouldn’t be based on the way things were going.
I could hear one of the two open their mouth to speak, certainly about to ask why it was depressing, but luckily stopped themselves. I was glad they could see on their own now what I’d been telling them was wrong for over two weeks now. I really didn’t feel like explaining for the fiftieth time what my issue was.
“We’re sorry,” Holiday said simply, quietly. “If it means anything though, we’ll come to check on you and make sure that mare is treating you right.”
“And, of course, we’re gonna make sure she apologizes to you,” Lofty said, a bit of an aggressive tone in her voice. “There’s no way we’re gonna make you go with her if she’s just gonna treat you like dirt and not apologize, Princess Celestia be damned.”
That made me smile a bit. It made me happy that Lofty and Holiday were both on my side.
“Well, I guess we might as well get this out of the way right now, shouldn’t we?” I decided, getting up. “Better now than never, right?” The two only gave me gentle smiles at that, standing up to walk with me, promising the four fillies that we’d be back in a little while. We didn’t move fast though, strolling through Ponyville on our way to the library where Twilight Sparkle lived. I wasn’t really dreading talking to her like I thought I would be. I was mostly just completely done with everything. I just wanted this all to end so, so much.
“Lord,” I silently prayed, “I ask that you guide me and give me the strength to do what needs to be done and put up with the disrespect I’m certain to receive, since everyone here seems intent on acting like…”
Bad. That was a bad prayer. I shouldn’t have been praying with contempt like that, and I knew it. I couldn’t help it though, and when I started over, I came up with largely the same thing. I decided to put it on the shelf for now and wait to pray when I was less frustrated. I focused on my hooves as I scowled while I walked next to the two mares.
“What’s wrong, Asher?” Holiday asked. “Or is it just the same thing it has been? You look ready to explode.”
“Nothing. I’m just trying to lower my frustration,” I grumbled. “I feel like a twelve year old with how much I just want to scream at the top of my lungs.”
“You can scream if you need to,” Lofty told me. “Better now than when we see that mare. If you have to let it out, let it out.”
“I’m fine, but thanks. I’ll save my scream for a rainy day.”
“Oh? You’re saving screams now like cashier’s checks?” Holiday asked with a little smile.
“Exactly like that,” I smiled back, “although I didn’t know horses had cashier’s checks. I’ll have to keep that in mind when I open up a store here.”
We walked in silence the rest of the way there, the two mares standing next to me as I casually knocked on the door. I wanted to be doing anything else other than standing there waiting for her, knowing it was just going to be a huge mess. It was a good thing though that she didn’t immediately answer, because it gave me time to think of an appropriate prayer.
“Lord,” I silently started, “I ask that you allow forgiveness to fill my heart, and ask that you allow me to act in a way that’s pleasing to you. I ask that you let your will be your will, and that you help guide me through whatever your will for me is.”
The moment I finished, the mare answered the door, looking more tired than she was when I saw her earlier, like she’d just woken up. Her hair was messy and there were bags under her eyes, along with a look that said she wished she were still asleep.
“You know, you don’t need to knock,” she started. “It’s a public library.” Then she looked down and frowned at me. “Oh. Hi, Asher.”
“Hi,” I responded simply, wearing the same frown. There was a long pause as we stared at each other before I said, “I guess I’m supposed to be living with you, according to Princess Celestia.”
“Yes, you are,” she said, using the exact same annoyed tone as I did. “Except for some reason, you thought it’d be a better idea to not come with me and get me yelled at by the princess. And then right as I finally went to sleep after last night, you decided to wake me up again.”
“And all of that happened because you thought it was okay to be disrespectful,” I said simply, flatly. “So I guess we can say it’s both our faults.” Not that I believed that. I couldn’t imagine how in any way this would be my fault at all. I just wanted to make this whole thing go as smoothly as possible since I was being forced into yet another thing I didn’t want to do.
“I’m sorry, I guess,” she mumbled, clearly not so. “I won’t call you what you are since you’ll throw a fit if I do.”
“You know, that’s hardly an apology at all,” Lofty said, stepping up to her. “If anything, it sounds like your blaming Asher for something he didn’t do. If he’s going to be staying with you, you better do better than that, that’s for sure.”
“Ugh, fine! I’m sorry, okay?” she said, still sounding like she didn’t mean it. “I won’t do that anymore, okay? I’ll call you whatever you want me to.” She mumbled something I couldn’t hear under her breath, then looked at me expectantly. “Well?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Well what?” I asked, not sure what she wanted from me.
“Aren’t you going to apologize to me?”
“Um… what for?” I asked, legitimately not knowing what she was expecting. I wracked my brain for a moment to think of what I might have needed to apologize to her for, but came up with nothing.
“For waking me up and making Princess Celestia yell at me and talking to my teacher like she was some random pony off the street?”
I took a breath, doing what I could to not roll my eyes as I offered, “I’m sorry for waking you up.” As upset as the princess was with me, I wasn’t willing to admit that I was wrong for telling her off like that. I certainly wasn’t going to say that Twilight shouldn’t have been yelled at, no way.
“Whatever,” Twilight rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Just… you can let yourself inside and do whatever you want for right now. I need to get a little bit of rest before I deal with all of this.” With that, she trudged back inside and up the stairs, presumably to head back to sleep.
“This is going to be absolutely brutal,” I said. “I can tell that already.”
“Well… at least she apologized?” Holiday offered. “That’s something, even if it wasn’t the greatest.”
“That was hardly an apology,” Lofty said, and I had to agree with her. “She needs to do better than that. It’s not acceptable. I can’t see how Princess Celestia trusts her with a foal… even if that foal is an adult,” she quickly added, smiling sheepishly at me.
“Ugh… I guess it’s fine,” I decided. “I’ve dealt with rude customers before. I’ll deal with her, I guess.” Although with rude customers, the longest I’d spent with them was ten minutes, which was almost certainly going to be different than this would be. Not to mention, they weren’t openly antagonistic like this pony was. It helped that most of them had a defined problem I could fix for them, rather than just straight up disliking me. It made it difficult.
“Lord, please grace my heart with forgiveness,” I asked. “Take this anger and contempt I have away from me.”
“It’s not fine, Asher,” Lofty said. “She shouldn’t be treating you like that. We should be trying to appeal this with Princess Celestia. I’ll buy a train ticket to Canterlot right now if she keeps that nonsense up.”
“And what’s seeing her again going to do, other than make her more angry with me? She was just here. Talking to her again isn’t going to make her mind change.”
“She’ll change her mind if we all three go there,” Lofty suggested. “If we all three go, she can’t possibly ignore us. I just hate seeing you so upset.”
That sounded like a good plan, one that I wanted to put into action. However, I knew I had to start thinking of the long game. The more I pressed and pushed against these two, Twilight and Celestia, the worse I knew they were going to treat me, because obviously it was my fault that I showed up here. I hated the idea of giving into both of them, but I had to pick and choose which battles to fight, even if it seemed like I was losing them all. As annoying as it was, I had to play the long game, even if I didn’t know what that really meant.
“It’s fine. I can already see how it’s going to go if that happens. She’s gonna blame me for turning you against her, or something like that. I don't want her getting upset with you like she already is with me. I’ll be fine even if this whole thing is completely… mmm, stupid.” I had to avoid cursing as I said it, I felt so frustrated.
“Let’s just go get my stuff so I can set it in here and get back to hanging out with Scootaloo and them,” I said before I glanced up at my mane, and idea coming to me. “Do you think there are any barbers around here who will do my hair, too?” I asked. "I wanna get this mop cut off if I can."
It turned out Rarity could do more than sew clothes. She wasn’t in the hair business, but when we got back to the four fillies, Sweetie Belle suggested we stop by the Carousel Boutique to get my hair done with her sister.
“Hello, Sweetie Belle,” Rarity greeted as we entered. “And hello Sweetie Belle’s friends. Are you all enjoying the day? I have to say, last night was positively dreadful. I just woke back up after that horrid trip out into the Everfree. I hope you all are alright after last night’s events.”
I closed my eyes and shuddered at the memory of Nightmare Moon before I shook my head clear. “We’re fine,” I spoke for us, “but we were here to see if-”
“To see if you can cut Asher’s mane!” Sweetie Belle interrupted excitedly, smiling as she clearly enjoyed the idea. I couldn’t tell why she did, but she continued, “He said he wants it all cut off!”
“Well, that would certainly be an interesting mane cut, but I must ask, what’s with all of this ‘he’ business I’ve been hearing about, hmm?”
“That’s a story I’m not in the mood to get into right now, but if you could call me a boy, it would make me feel immensely happy. Also a haircut. I want my hair cut, please.”
“Uh, well, uh…” she looked at me a bit confused before saying, “I can certainly do that for you, uh, young… colt?” I smiled at her words, and she smiled back and continued, “But uh, I’m not sure cutting off all of your mane is the best way to go about these things, dear. I’m not sure you have quite the face to make it work very well.”
“If it looks weird, it’ll grow back eventually,” I responded. “It would just be a few months of awkwardness to deal with. I can live with that if I don’t like it.”
“Well, let’s see what we can do for you before we go the extreme route, dear. I’m sure we can find a hairstyle you’ll like with some work. I’m sure Sweetie Belle will tell you, I have quite the eye for fashion.”
“Well, the more masculine I can make it, the better it would be,” I explained. “I want ponies to look at me and see that I’m a man,” I said, mostly referring to Twilight Sparkle.
“Well, I’m sure they’ll see nothing but a ravishing young colt when I’m through with you. I remember those days, when I asked my own parents if I could dress up that way. It was quite fun to pretend for a little while. But anyway! Come along, and I shall get you taken care of.”
I ignored the fact that she said I was pretending, grateful just that she was doing something for me. The four fillies followed along with me, too, apparently excited to see what I would look like in a little while. We went upstairs to a back room where Rarity sat me in a chair in front of a mirror, putting a hairdressing gown around my neck. I thought it was interesting that she had this sitting in what appeared to be her bedroom, but ignored it as she talked to me.
“What sort of mane style are you interested in, Asher?” Rarity asked. “There are quite a few long mane styles that can be done that will make you appear more coltish, if that’s what you’re looking for.”
“Well, in my opinion,” I answered, “the shorter the better. I wouldn’t be opposed to you taking a razor and just cutting it all the way off, as long as there was still some left, like a few millimeters.”
She grimaced at that idea as we both looked at me in the mirror. “I’m not sure about a few millimeters. I’m not sure anything less than two and a half inches would be very good on you, but how about this?” As she spoke, she grabbed a brush and brushed my hair back, pushing it all in one direction. “A little grease, and you’d have a nice, slicked back look. Lots of stallions go for a look like this. You can even add in a few spikes to the cut if you want, or just the more gentlemanly slicked back look if you preferred.”
“Eh, it sounds nice, but I don’t want something that I’m going to have to maintain every single morning. The less I have to do to take care of it, the better.”
“It’s not any work at all, dear,” she said. “Just a brush and that’s it. It wouldn’t take longer than three minutes to get this style in the works when you wake up. We’d cut off the back up to just below your head, and then all you’d have to maintain is the front.”
“Can we see if there’s anything else?” I asked. “It sounds good, but I wanna know what other options there are.”
We went through a few more, all of them variations of the same general style. It seemed like she really wanted to go the ‘cut off the back and brush your hair’ route, but eventually I did ask about what we could do if we cut the front.
“I know you said you don’t like the idea of a few millimeters, but what about cutting it down to an inch?” I asked. “I really think the shorter you can get it down, the better it would be.”
“I need you to trust me when I say it won’t look good at less than two inches. I know you want to look like a colt, but your face isn’t built for a manestyle under two inches.”
“Can we try it anyway?” I asked. “It’s just gonna grow back if I don’t like it.”
“I… no,” she decided. “You’re going to have to trust me on this, Asher. I won’t do less than two inches. I really do think for you, though, the best look would be something slicked back for you. If you don’t like it, we can cut it down to two from there. Deal?”
“Fine, deal,” I sighed, let down that I wouldn’t be getting what I wanted. “I’ll trust you. I’d really rather have it super short though.”
“Trust me when I say I think you’ll love this cut,” she smiled, already getting to work.
She turned me away from the mirror so I wouldn’t see what was happening. The four fillies watched me as the mare worked, their eyes going wide and a couple of them smiling as I felt my hair changing. I could see parts of the golden mane I had falling to the floor and could feel grease being placed into my hair, being brushed back as she did. It took a long time it seemed, and after what felt like about half an hour, she was finally turning me back around to the mirror.
“Well, Asher,” she said, “I know it’s not as short as you wanted it, but I must say, you’d be easily mistaken for a ravishing young colt if you went out like this.”
I blinked at the sight of myself and smiled. I had to admit, it did look very good. I thought it would look better, but it was amazing how just changing my hairstyle made me look much more masculine. I felt extremely happy with the result and a lot more like myself again, even if there were still a whole host of problems.
“Thank you,” I smiled, checking the style out from side to side. “It looks great, so much better than it was before. I really appreciate the work you put in. Thank you very much.”
“No trouble at all darling,” she replied. “I should’ve known you’d like something like this much more after you told me you didn’t want that dress. You act much more like my friend Rainbow Dash in that way. You both act like tomboys… I wonder if I can convince her to try a manestyle like this.”
“Well, I’m not a tomboy,” I explained. “I’m just a boy, but thank you very much. It looks amazing. Thank you.”
It felt nice to smile and like how I looked for the first time in weeks, and I appreciated it. The four fillies giggle behind me as I stood back up, laughing at how I looked, but I didn’t care. I liked it, and even though it was something small, it made me feel a lot better. It wasn’t a hairstyle I’d give myself on Earth, but it was much better than the shy little girl look I had going on before.
“You look just like a colt, Asher!” Sweetie Belle said. “It’s so crazy!”
“Wow, I didn’t think she could get cuter, but she totally did!” Silver Spoon got out, earning a glare from Diamond Tiara and a grimace from me. “I’d definitely ask you out with how cute you are.”
“Lets- let’s not… I’m gonna move on and pretend you didn’t say that,” I told her, thinking back to the alcohol and cringing that it wasn’t just the drinks that made her say that about me. I couldn’t stop my blush as I continued, “I need to get my stuff from Miss Holiday and Miss Lofty’s house so I can set them in that librarian’s house. I wanna be in and out as quickly as possible so I can enjoy the rest of my day.” I smiled again at what Twilight would think of what I looked like. She’d be surprised, that was for sure.
“So, uh, the sooner we can get going, the more time I’ll have to hang out with you guys.”
“Oh! My mom and dad are gonna be here, too!” Scootaloo proclaimed. “You guys should see them! They’re amazing!”
With that, we set off, getting to her house a few minutes later. It turned out her parents were already there greeting Holiday and Lofty, looking not quite like what I expected. Her father was a brown pony with purple hair and a body that was a bit stockier than most of the other ponies I saw, and her mother had a peach color coat and incredibly long legs. In a word, they were weird, probably the weirdest looking ponies I’d come across, but I kept that thought to myself.
I had the idea to ask them if I could stay with them, but I didn’t. I didn’t know what it was, but for some reason, it felt like they weren’t particularly happy to see me. They smiled politely at me when they saw me, but it seemed more like they only were because they were forced to, not because they actually liked me. I made a mental note to ask about that before the two mares left, wondering what was up with them.
We didn’t stay there long, only long enough to grab my few possessions before I quickly headed over to the library. Twilight was still snoring as I quickly went inside to set my possessions down, the purple dragon I saw hanging around her a couple of times coming up to me and looking at my books. I assumed he lived with her, and so explained that I was just dropping my stuff off here for now.
“Huh,” he commented as he looked at the book titles. “Calculus. I know that's some kind of math, but I don’t think many ponies know how to do that. Twilight does though.”
“Not many people on Earth know how to do it either, but that’s why I went to college. I kind of already know how to do everything in that book though, but it’s better than nothing I guess. I have to keep my mind sharp somehow.”
“Huh,” he said again, looking at the other two books I had. “My First Writing Book?” he asked. “What’s up with that?”
“I- I can’t read in… what was it? Ponish? I can only read English… or whatever you guys call English here. I don’t see how you can have two types of writing for the exact same language though. That doesn’t make much sense to me.”
He shrugged, seeming like what I said blew past him before telling me, “Twilight told me about you before she went to sleep. Complained actually. She said you were rude to her and Princess Celestia. Is that true?”
“Not in the slightest,” I answered. “Being rude isn’t something I would intentionally do… err, I try not to intentionally do. I slip up sometimes, but I’m fairly certain she’s upset that I called her and Celestia out on treating me like dirt. If that’s rude, then yes, I was rude.”
“Yeah, she sometimes blows things out of proportion… anyway, I’m Spike,” he told me, smiling and extending a claw for me to shake. “I’m Twilight Sparkle’s assistant.”
“Asher,” I said, grabbing his claw politely and shaking. “It’s nice to meet you.” As I said it, I felt bad that he said he was the librarian’s assistant. That sounded like a terrible job to have to me, considering what I knew of Twilight already.
“You know, you seem a lot like her,” he continued. “I don’t know what it is, but I think you two act the same. It’s weird.” That made me flinch. I in no way wanted to act like her at all, and decided that if I felt like I was, I would stop and change my behavior.
“Anyway, I’ll be back later,” I said. “I’m gonna go hang out for now and… I don’t know what, but do something. I guess I’ll come back later. I don’t know when though.”
“Okay, see ya, Asher. Also, I like your mane. It makes you look a lot like a colt though, I think.”
“Thank you, that’s what I’m going for,” I smiled as I left, giving him a wave. “I appreciate it.” It made me happy that my hair was having the effect I wanted it to, and I grinned widely because of it.
“Lord, thank you for this,” I prayed silently. “Thank you very much.”
We largely wasted the day away doing nothing, or rather, nothing in my opinion. These four seemed bent on finding their cutie marks, and tried to explain to me why it was so important, especially Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. I only nodded politely and largely watched what they were doing rather than actually participated. It felt weird wasting days like this, although I couldn’t really say I had much better to do, so I went along with it. If I could find something to focus my energy on for a large portion of the day, like a job or something, I would.
I was able to talk to Holiday and Lofty again before they left, and they both hugged me and told me how nice it was to have me with them. I thought I even saw some wetness in Holiday’s eyes.
“I know it’s only been a few weeks since we met you, Asher,” she started tearily as the three of us stood in front of the library door, “but Lofty and I both love you very much. You’re a wonderful young colt… a wonderful young stallion . If you ever want to visit us where we live or anytime we come back to Ponyville, you’re absolutely more than welcome to. We'd love it.”
“You don’t need me to tell you I feel the same, kiddo,” Lofty agreed simply. “You’re great to have around, and we all know those four fillies love you somehow. I still don’t know how you got them all to get along.”
I shrugged and said, “They’re kids. Kids are easy. But thank you. I appreciate your generosity. I couldn’t ask for better circumstances in the wake of… all of this happening to me. Thank you.”
I looked at them and smiled, watching them smile back at me. They really grew on me and became probably my favorite people in my time being here, which was something I didn’t expect to happen. I couldn’t help but be a bit ashamed by that thought, remembering that my first thought when I was walking with them to Sugarcube Corner. I was absolutely upset with the idea of having to stay with them because of their sexuality, and felt ashamed of thinking that now. It didn’t help the fact that I…
“Aaaaand we’re leaving that thought right there,” I told myself before I suddenly found myself wrapped up in a hug. It was both of the mares at the same, Holiday absolutely crying and Lofty having her eyes closed as they did. I closed my eyes for a second and gave them both a brief hug before I cleared my throat, their signal to let me down again.
“Thank you again,” I told them. “It was nice staying with you, and if I could, I’d continue staying with you both now.”
“We’d absolutely take you in if we could,” Lofty told me, “but we don’t have space, and even if we did, we wouldn’t want to see you leave Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle behind. But you can bet your flank we’ll check up on you. Princess Celestia can’t just throw you to the wolves and expect us to do nothing.”
“Thanks… actually, speaking of which, I have a question,” I started. “Do you get the feeling that Scootaloo’s parents don’t like me?” I asked. “Cause I was getting a lot of those vibes from them, like they wanted to kick me out and would’ve if they knew how old I was.”
“Huh?” Holiday asked, tilting her head, confused. “I didn’t see anything like that from them. Why do you say that?”
“I don’t know, it was just a feeling I got, but I really do feel that way. Like… I don’t know. I don’t know what it could possibly be that they don’t like about me, but I’m certain they don’t, even if they tried not to show it. I was gonna ask if I could stay with them over Twilight, but didn’t because it really seemed like they felt that way.”
“Well, Lofty and I can ask her parents before we head on out and get back to you later, but I’m telling you, we didn’t notice anything. We can ask for you if you can stay with them, if you want.”
“That’s fine,” I said. “It doesn’t matter anymore since we went through all the trouble of apologizing to Twilight, but I would like to hear what they think if you find something out.”
“We’ll see what’s up for you. Now give us one more hug before Holiday and I head out.”
I obliged them, blushing in embarrassment as Holiday took the moment to kiss me on the cheek.
“We love you, Asher,” Holiday said tearfully. “We’ll see you again later though. We promise.”
“It’ll be a nice time when you do,” I answered back, giving them a wave. With that, they finally left, leaving me standing alone in front of the library. I almost forgot I was here, and shook my head in annoyance when I remembered.
“Oh, this is going to be the most fun ever,” I muttered to myself as I rolled my eyes. “I guarantee it.”
I found myself sighing as I walked into that librarian’s house. I really wanted this to go smoothly, but I had a feeling we would be butting heads quite a bit. More than anything, I wanted to go home, but I didn’t think that would happen any time soon, according to Princess Celestia.
“Maybe though I should see if there’s anything I can do, even if… ugh.”
I really didn’t like the idea of looking for magic to try and help me. In fact, I despised it, almost fearful of just thinking about it. I wanted to go home, but I didn’t know what I would do if the only way to get home was using magic. I decided to put that thought out of my head for now. There was no reason to make myself anxious about things that might not be a possibility with the way things seemed to be going.
Twilight was sitting at a table reading a book when she turned to me as I entered. It seemed like she was waiting for me to get in, and it made me roll my eyes. No doubt, she would try and treat me like I was her child.
“You know, you came in and just left your stuff on the table,” she said with a frown. “You should’ve had Spike show you where your room would be and put it in there. What if a mass of ponies suddenly showed up here and all demanded spots and your stuff was still in the way?”
“Then you’d have the busiest library in all of America… err, all of Ponyville.” Calling the town here ‘Ponyville’ sounded so awkward, like I was living in a children’s show. It felt ridiculous to say.
“Luckily though, that didn’t happen,” I continued, “and it wouldn’t be reasonable to expect it to. With those things in mind-”
“You’re right that it’s not reasonable, but it’s still common courtesy to not leave your things lying around. It probably wasn’t going to happen, but there was still a chance that it might, and that’s what matters.”
I didn’t like her air of superiority that she had about herself, and wanted to argue. I forced myself not to though. I didn’t want to get into a fight with her, especially not over something so dumb. I did think it was her fault that she was acting the way she was, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t something I could do to help the situation.
“Okay, I won’t leave my stuff on the table anymore,” I told her, trying my very best to keep the tone out of my voice. “Anything else you want to tell me before you show me to my room?” She opened her mouth, clearly ready to continue, until she realized I was largely being facetious. With that, she simply frowned at me and walked up the steps to the next level of the library.
“This is going to be your room,” she explained, leading me into what looked effectively like a very large closet with a bed. There was a dresser, a shelf, and nothing else, not even a window. Even the bed looked mostly barebones, not even having a bedsheet on it. I frowned at the sight of it.
“I expect you to keep this room clean,” she told me, her words sounding like something my mother would’ve told me fifteen years ago. “I don’t want to see things on the floor or any trash anywhere.”
“I’m sure that’ll be a difficult task,” I replied sarcastically. “I wonder if I’m up for it.”
She apparently couldn’t tell I was being sarcastic, because she continued, “Well, you’ll have to learn, because if you don’t, you’re going to be in trouble. Every time I see your room dirty, you’ll be grounded for three days. Actually, I made a chart of the rules, and the corresponding punishments for-”
“How old are you?” I interrupted. “Like thirteen or something? I don’t think you should be acting like you’re my mother, because you’re not, and this situation isn’t going to work out if you think you are.”
“I didn’t say I was your mother,” she replied quickly, “I just think it’s a good idea to lay some ground rules. And for your information, I’m twenty two.”
I don’t know why, but that surprised me. I was expecting her to be a teenager, but then again, seeing as she lived mostly alone, it should’ve been obvious that she was older. I guess it made a little bit of sense that Celestia would put me with her.
“Yeah, well, the point still stands,” I told her. “I think a mutual respect for each other is required for this to work at all. It’s not like I have stuff to keep my room dirty, and even if I did, I’m not that kind of person.”
“Well, the point still stands. And speaking of your stuff, I know you don’t have much, but I took time to organize your books alphabetically and hang up your clothes. You can thank me for it if you want to.”
I almost laughed at that. I had three books and one single jacket. It wasn’t like she moved heaven and earth to “organize” them for me. Although it did make me wonder if she might have had something like OCD. It was just a wild guess at this point, but the fact that she mentioned ‘alphabetizing’ three books put the thought in my head.
“I’m not sure what a filly your age is doing with a calculus book though,” she added grumpily after a long moment passed where I didn't express my thanks.
“I’m not sure what I’m doing with it either,” I said, not biting on the ‘filly your age’ comment. “I learned everything in that book over five years ago. I’d prefer something more advanced to keep my mind sharp. Or a book on economics and business in this world. I mean, there was a shop I saw that sold exclusively quills and sofas. That’s not something that would ever be economically viable on Earth, except maybe in someplace extremely rural, or a niche market in Philadelphia or something.”
“I don’t see how a filly like you would know much about economics,” she muttered. “It takes a special kind of pony to know how to own and operate a business. Not just anypony can walk up and open a store."
I didn’t know if this was just how she always was or if she was intentionally trying to provoke an argument. Regardless, though, I wasn’t going to have one.
“Well, luckily for me, if and when the time comes, I’ll know what the heck I’m doing because I was about to finish up my master’s degree this year on business administration. Not to mention, I was on track to become the general manager at the restaurant I worked at within like five years. So yeah, I know what the heck I’m talking about.” I paused for a moment before asking, “Was there anything else you wanted?”
She opened her mouth to continue, but the look I had on my face probably deterred her. “No. I’m gonna leave the list of rules I have for you in your room,” she told me, floating over a parchment paper to set onto the dresser. “The other main thing I want to tell you now is that if you read one of the books in the library, be sure to put it back in its place when you’re done. I don’t want things out of order when I go to find them.” She yawned with that statement and said, “I’m going back to sleep now. I expect you to be quiet while Spike and I are asleep.”
“I certainly wasn’t going to be running around making noise, was I?” I shot back, knowing I shouldn’t be doing that. That wasn’t how you built relationships, but with the whole day I went through, I was too fed up to really care at that point. Even spending time with those four girls, Celestia and Twilight still both wore me down to the bone, it felt like.
“I’ll read through those rules you have for me, though,” I told her. “But I’m gonna let you know if there’s something I don’t agree with in there, because I’m not your son like you probably think I am.”
“Whatever. As long as you at least read them,” she said. “Anyway, good night.”
“Night,” I said simply, almost grumpily, hopping into bed and grabbing the economics textbook to read through, wanting to get myself out of the mood I was in.
“Yup,” I thought to myself. “This is going to be the most fun ever, won’t it?”
The rules list was quite something to read through. Most of them made sense, like no yelling after a certain hour of night and no running around, as if I was going to do those things. A few of them though were something else. Bathing was only allowed on Tuesdays and Fridays for some reason, and friends were only allowed over in increments of three. Some of them went into extreme detail, saying for instance that exactly twenty chips were allowed per bowl, or that a minimum of twenty five thousand words was required to be read per month to, quote ‘keep your mind in top shape’. It was strange, and I had to wonder if this pony had OCD or ASD. It would be interesting to learn, but not surprising in the short time I’d known her.
My theory was only intensified the following morning when she came upstairs to call me down to breakfast. She had a list in hand… err, magic, to go through, and spoke to herself as she did. It was a bit weird to see, but the thing that made me start to wonder if she had something wrong with her was her comment about how she needed to make time to make another list for tomorrow because she forgot to put it on the schedule today. There was definitely something off about her, that I knew.
“As if there’s not anything wrong with me,” I thought to myself, looking down at my female body. “I probably look like a complete idiot saying I’m a man, or mentally ill or something. I need to fix my mentality and stop looking at people the way I do, even if those people actively make me dislike them, especially since… nope. Not thinking about that.”
I followed her downstairs and sat down to eat, and to my surprise, saw fish and eggs with everything else. Princess Celestia made it seem like it was something uncommon, and I thought I recalled Nurse Redheart being upset when I said I ate meat. Seeing it out like this was strange to say the least.
“Don’t you guys hate meat?” I asked curiously, raising an eyebrow. “That’s what I got from some of the people here. They looked surprised I had sharp teeth. Not to mention, fish isn’t really a breakfast food. It’s something you’d serve at dinner.”
“It’s not something I have all the time, but it’s good in amino acids and protein, so I eat it. I’m not sure why anypony would hate it, though,” she continued. “It’s just fish. It’s not like ponies in the mysterious south who think it’s okay to eat cows… well, that’s not a conversation I should be having with little fillies.”
I made a mental note of that, not to bring up eating beef. I would have to play the food I liked by ear. I also noticed Twilight once again trying to start an argument, but I didn’t bite. I liked fish, but that didn’t mean I was a fish. I wasn’t going to take the bait.
“But anyway," she started after a brief pause, as though waiting for me to respond to her little filly comment, "if you want some, you can have it. I don’t expect you to like something like this, though, even if you do have canines. Most ponies outside of Canterlot are fish averse.”
“Well, I’ll have you know, salmon is my favorite, even when it’s served as a breakfast food,” I told her. “It would go good with some spinach and rice, or mashed potatoes and peas if you like that better.”
She rolled her eyes, but didn’t say anything else, and made me a plate of food. It was fish and eggs, along with pancakes and grits, the latter being something I only had a few times. It was a good breakfast all in all, although I did think it was interesting that Spike was the one who took the dishes back and washed them. I didn’t comment on it though, instead heading back upstairs to shower. Before I did, though, Twilight stopped me.
“Did you read through that rule list?” she asked. “Because I want to hang it up down here for both of us if you already did.”
“I did,” I replied, “but I do have some issues with it. Like why bathing is only allowed on Tuesdays and Fridays and why one of the rules is that I’m not allowed to have drinks after eight o’clock at night? And a whole bunch of other rules that seem absolutely ridiculous.”
“Bathing more often than that is how your coat gets matted and twisted and sheds, and I’d rather not have fur all over Golden Oaks Library, thank you very much,” she explained. “As for drinking times, I was having a conversation about you with the school teacher, Miss Cheerilee, yesterday evening. She told me that you wet the bed because you didn’t use the restroom but continuously drank water all day, so I’m putting a limit on the times you can have it.”
I had to force myself not to have my cheeks go red in embarrassment. I could not understand what purpose Cheerilee had for bringing that up, but it made me want to die of shame at the memory. Honestly, I couldn’t believe I even let that happen. It was so obvious I wasn’t dreaming, I couldn’t believe I convinced myself that I was. Just denial of my circumstances, I guess, but now it meant this pony was telling me I couldn’t have a drink of water after a certain time of night, which was a bit silly, in my opinion.
“I’m pretty sure I can hold it,” I told her flatly. “And bathing only twice a week sounds absolutely disgusting.” I could only imagine how knotted up my fur would get bathing that little. I wanted no part of partaking in such a rule.
“Well, those are the rules,” she told me, “and I’d appreciate it if you’d follow them. If you want, I can show you studies on bathing more than twice a week and its effects on ponies' fur. I’ve done the research.”
“That seems like a weird thing to research, but whatever I guess. If I feel disgusting though, I’m gonna take a shower, and if I’m thirsty, I’m gonna have a drink. Also, I’m gonna reiterate that I’m not a child.”
“I know you’re not, but places have rules that are expected to be followed. Suggesting that you can ignore the rules is setting yourself up for failure and disrespectful to those around you who do follow them.”
“Yeah, well…” I had to close my eyes and force myself not to argue with her. “I’m going to take a shower now,” I said firmly. “I can’t remember if it’s Friday, but I feel disgusting.” She didn’t argue as I went upstairs and turned the water on.
I knew this was going to be a lot of work. Arguing with her wasn’t going to help anything, that I knew, but my inclination to argue was strong. Just staying with her for one night and speaking to her only a few times, I felt like our personalities clashed too much… or rather, they were too similar. I liked to think we weren’t the same, but I almost began to imagine we were, or at least had the same basic personality. Except she was much more anal about things, it felt to me, and kind of vitriolic. It honestly showed me what I should be working on personally, which was a lot of things.
"I need to work on a lot of things," I thought to myself, "and I have a long, long time to work on those things. Hundreds of years, apparently..."
I sighed to myself as I laid on my stomach in the shower, closing my eyes. I was suddenly thinking about the fact that I was a pony again and that I was going to be here for the rest of my life. I was going to be going through the motions of being a kid for the next twenty five years, and there was nothing I would be able to do about it. It was a depressing thought, one that made me tear up as it wormed its way through my head. I was here, didn’t know why I was here, and there was nothing I could do about it. Maybe it was for no reason. Maybe God wasn’t involved and it was a random one in a trillion years coincidence based on whatever laws this universe went by. That possibility made me just want to roll over and die.
I didn’t bother praying and asking God why this happened to me again. I didn’t care. I just hated it all. I was a dumb little kid who was a pony in a universe where a unicorn princess who was working against the best interests of her subjects was convinced I’d be so happy being a girl.
That was another thing. Why did I have to be a female? Why couldn’t I have just been kept as a male? It made this whole thing feel one hundred times worse. I absolutely hated how I felt in this body, ninety five percent of the reason being that I was a girl now. I couldn’t say I had very much sympathy for transgender people before, but now I did, along with a whole boatload of empathy. I wished I didn’t though.
“Hair,” I thought to myself, shaking my wet mane, not able to speak out loud because of how my voice sounded. “I need to brush my hair. I hope this still works like Rarity said it would…”
It did, and seeing my hair brushed as I dried myself off made me feel much better. I really did think it did a lot to make me look more masculine, which made me happy. The only thing that I thought would make it better was if I had my eyelashes plucked, but for now, this was great. I could feel a wave of soothing calmness wash over me as I took myself in. I looked… not normal, not in the slightest, but less off-putting to myself, which was something. If only I could be a human though. That would at least make things easier, even if it was still as a girl. It would be a place to start, anyway.
“Lord, please… eh, forget it.”
That was bad, and I knew it was. I knew I shouldn’t have been falling into the mentality of saying just forget it, but I couldn’t help it. Even despite my hair helping, my mood was still too angry and bitter with how things were. It was better to forget about it for now and come back to it later when I wasn’t so upset than potentially say something I didn’t want to. Not a habit I wanted to fall in though.
“Does it even matter?” something in the back of my head asked. “It’s absolutely unbearable being here, especially being here as who you are. What’s the point? It’s depressing.”
I had to shake that thought clear of my head. That was not thinking I wanted to fall into. It was too easy to fall down that spiral and think all was lost, especially since all really was lost. I knew nothing was going to change, at least, the odds were very much against it, but I couldn’t think like that. I learned that much just working in the kitchen every day and managing my restaurant. Sure, there might have been days where most of the kitchen staff called out, but as long as you believed you could get the work done, then you could get it done.
Except in this case, I’d be mostly pretending to believe that my situation wasn’t hopeless, but as long as I pretended, it would translate into actual hope eventually. It was too easy to say that God didn’t care about me, a line of thinking I definitely didn’t want to start down.
I just had to put it away and pretend everything was fine when it wasn’t. I had done that before, and I would do it again, even if it would be extremely hard to do.
“Asher!” Twilight suddenly called from outside the door. “Hurry up in there! I don’t want you to be late to see Nightmare Moon… err, Princess Luna, apologize!”
I’d forgotten about that, but quickly got dried off and headed out. I wanted to be there for it, mostly to see if Celestia would be there and what she would have to say. I wondered if she would be giving an apology, too. She certainly should’ve been, although I wasn’t sure Twilight would like seeing that very much and would find a way to blame me for it.
Princess Celestia was awoken early in the morning by her sister pacing back and forth in her bedroom.
“What’s the matter, Luna?” she asked tiredly, rubbing an eye with a hoof. “What has you shaken this morning?”
“It is the citizens of Equestria,” she said, turning to look at the alicorn. “The citizens of Ponyville in particular. I do not believe they will be forgiving to me.”
Celestia only chuckled at that. “They already have forgiven you,” she explained. “Did you not see the way Asher interacted with you? I didn’t see one hint of malice in her eyes.”
“That’s very well, but one filly is not an entire city. And I do not believe she was forgiving me for anypony’s sake except yours, not that I deserve any forgiveness.”
“You absolutely deserve forgiveness, Lulu,” Celestia told her, hopping out of bed now to wrap a wing around her sister. “I cannot think of one thing you deserve more.”
“But-”
“No buts. My little ponies– our little ponies– are all kind creatures. I’m sure they’d be willing to wholeheartedly forgive you if you only ask for it.”
“For your sake.”
“Not for my sake, but instead for the sake of forgiveness,” she said. “I can tell you, that little filly who forgave you would probably never do a single thing for my sake if she could help it.”
“On that subject, you never did tell me what was happening with that filly.”
The alicorn princess sighed at that. “I might have painted a bad image of myself to her for suggesting that she was meant to be a female instead of a male. Along with a few other things.”
“Is she not a filly?”
"It's a complex situation. She's not native to Equestria, coming from a place called "Earth". She says she is a twenty five year old man, and a cook and manager in a restaurant… although she might be a member of nobility seeing as she has a habit of getting wrapped up in things that don't concern her."
"And how was it that she interfered with the Elements of Harmony?"
Celestia huffed and grunted at that, flicking her mane as she looked away embarrassedly. "By getting sick with diphtheria," she mumbled.
Luna smirked, then smiled and giggled, then fell on her back laughing out loud. “A little filly getting a sickness everypony gets is what caused you so much trouble?”
“She got sick the ponies who were meant to bear the Elements of Harmony in my place,” she grumbled. “I have things set up so Twilight Sparkle takes my place as ruler of Equestria. I even got into contact with Discord of all creatures to make sure this happens. And that little filly is ruining it.”
“Discord agreed to get involved?” Luna asked, raising an eyebrow. “That sounds quite unlike him. As far as I remember, he hates inserting himself into Equestrian matters.”
“He said it would be ‘the most amusing thing he’d done in the last several hundred years’,” Celestia replied. “Regardless of his motives, I want this transition of power to happen, and to happen smoothly, and that little filly may already have ruined that.”
“That’s you, dear sister, always looking to control the finer details of Equestria,” Luna giggled. “After one thousand years of banishment, I can say you should be taking life with much more ease and much less stress. Fine turning events to fit your control will only make you stressed out when they don’t fit the way you want them to. Equestria is not a puzzle piece, believe me.”
Celestia didn’t roll her eyes, as much as she wanted to, only saying, “In any case, we should be heading out soon. Do you have the proper apology prepared?”
“I do. But I do hope you give a speech as well beforehoof, so that the likelihood of forgiveness on Ponyville’s part increases.”
“I have a little something I’ll deliver, Luna,” she confirmed. “Don’t worry.”
Before long, we were standing in the room we were in a couple of days ago during the Summer Sun Celebration, practically the whole town crammed in here. There were even more ponies than what showed up for the holiday, which I thought was interesting.
Celestia and Nightmare Moon were already there, both of them sitting in chairs on the stage, awaiting for what I guessed to be everyone else to show up. Celestia in particular was staring right at me, and even gave me a friendly wave of her hoof, one I didn’t return. I was still upset with her for what she did before. Twilight gave me a little shove with her hoof at that, but I didn’t care.
We stood around for a few minutes, I standing close to Twilight Sparkle and her friends, a group that included Rarity and Pinkie Pie as it turned out. While I was waiting, I took the opportunity to talk to the latter.
“Hey, Pinkie?” I started. “What does Caramel do all day? What’s their job?”
“Oh, she works with Applejack on her farm!” the mare got out. “A lot of times, she takes care of Apple Bloom when everypony else is away, even though I told Applejack I want to help her too. She also helps with bucking apples sometimes and helping the farm animals, but she’s not very good and forgets a lot of things. And her special talent is dancing, so she spends a lot of time putting on shows of ponies when she can.”
That didn’t sound like very much I could help with, besides farm work I guessed, which I wasn’t a fan of. I was looking for something to try and occupy my time in the day, because as nice as it was to have a couple of days off from work, the start of my third or fourth week now was driving me crazy. There was no way I was gonna be able to sit in that library all day with Twilight.
“Does he– err, she– have a job?” I asked. “How do they make money?”
“Dancing! She puts on shows all the time, and they’re always super fun to watch! I think her next one is gonna be next month! You should totally go! You’d like it!”
“Now who is this ‘she’ you’re referring to, Pinkie Pie dear?” Rarity suddenly asked, entering the conversation. “Caramel is a stallion, is he not?”
I was interested to see what she would say, since I remembered Caramel asking her to keep it to herself calling them a girl. Apparently, Twilight was interested, too, because she was staring at Pinkie Pie with a raised eyebrow, waiting for an explanation.
“Oh yeah! Caramel is a stallion!” she laughed, looking like she was feigning idiocy. “I’m so silly sometimes, aren’t I?”
“You are quite something, I must say that, Pinkie,” Rarity finished, giving her friend a little smirk. “I sometimes wonder what in Equestria runs through that head of yours.”
It was certainly interesting to see from Pinkie. She didn’t seem like the kind of pony who liked to lie, and yet she lied about this with no trouble at all. It was good to know that secrets meant something to her, something I couldn’t say about everyone I met so far.
Twilight clearly knew something was up though, because she gave me a look that told me she didn’t approve of whatever was going on. She couldn’t say anything about it though, because a few seconds later, Celestia stood up and started to speak.
“I’d like to thank all of my little ponies for coming out here to meet my sister for an official apology for her actions,” she started. “However, before she begins, I do have a few words I would like to say as well.”
That was interesting to hear. I wondered what she had to say.
She stretched her wings out and took a small step forward as she continued, “As you know, I’ve been your princess for the last one thousand years, ruling over Equestria with a heart for every one of my subjects.”
In my short while of knowing her, I didn't believe one word of that, but I kept that comment to myself.
“However, I do believe the time for a change is coming,” she said. “I have planned that in ten years time, I will be retiring from my position as princess and be giving the reins over to another so I may spend my days with my dear sister. The pony that will be is uncertain at this time, but will be determined as we get closer to that day.”
That got an audible gasp from me and the rest of the crowd. Twilight herself looked in complete shock, as did the rest of her friends. I knew almost immediately though that the alicorn was lying, at least partly so. I didn’t know if she was going to retire, but I knew if she did, she knew exactly who she wanted already, and I knew it was the mare standing next to me.
“But what exactly was the point of saying that?” I wondered. She gave me a brief look in the eyes as though saying that would mean something to me, but it only made me more confused. Either she was trying to make a point to me, one that I didn’t get at all, or she was giving way for Nightmare Moon to be received with more grace by the public, which might have made sense. Either way, it was something.
“Now let me give way for my sister, Princess Luna, to speak to you all,” she finished before anyone could start to ask her questions about it, which, from the sounds of the room, they were gearing up to do. "I do hope you are able to forgive her in the way I have."
“Thank you. I would like to start by saying…”
“What did she mean by that?” Twilight asked, whispering down to me. “She’s gonna retire? Why would she do that? Who’s gonna replace her? Will it be Princess Luna?”
“Obviously she means you,” I replied. “Who the heck else would she be talking about?” I couldn’t see how she was even asking that question, what with the way I saw Celestia refer to the librarian and the librarian walk around her like her secondary. There was no doubt in my mind. She basically spelled it out over the course of my time interacting with her.
“No, absolutely not, there’s no way. She’d never trust me of all ponies to rule over Equestria. I mean, I am her number one student, but she wouldn’t give me a responsibility like this. Maybe she’s talking about my old foal sitter, Cadance?”
I only shook my head and rolled my eyes. This pony, Twilight Sparkle, was something else if she couldn’t see something so obvious. I could only turn back to watch Princess Luna’s apology, wondering what it would be like to live in a country ruled by the pony next to me, who thought only bathing twice a week was acceptable. It didn’t seem like it would be very great.
Before long, we were stepping out of the room again, the whole town chattering loudly about what just happened. Twilight walked next to me, asking me more about it.
“You don’t really think she means me, do you?” the unicorn asked. “I mean, there’s just no way she’d ever think I was capable of taking her job. Maybe Cadance or one of Canterlot’s nobility, like Prince Blueblood. He is her nephew after all. But why is she giving it up at all in the first place?”
“I’m almost certain I talked to her about this,” I responded, “but I can’t remember what exactly she told me because I had diphtheria. But yes, there’s no way she’s talking about anyone else but you.”
“But how do you know though?” she asked. “That's just a guess. There’s no way you can know something like that."
“I’m not guessing, and I know because I’m not a big dumb idiot,” I responded. “Celestia has been broadcasting just about everything she’s been doing since I got here. I can put one and one together.”
“Well I’m not so sure you’re right,” Twilight argued. “But anyway, I wanted to ask about what was going on with Caramel. I don’t think Pinkie Pie was just being silly like she said.”
“That’s something you’d have to ask Caramel about,” I told her. “I’m not at liberty to say their business. Actually, they explicitly asked me not to say anything about them, so–”
“Wait, is that where you’re getting all of this ‘being a colt’ business?” Twilight asked. “Just because an adult wants to pretend–”
“Did you not hear Celestia say yesterday that I am a man?” I asked. “Did you miss the part where I’m twenty five years old and not from Equestria? She spelled out to you that I’m not from here and was turned into this. Are you intentionally being obtuse?” I didn’t even know why I was asking. Of course she was.
“Well, yes, but I- I mean, no! I'm not being obtuse! I just haven’t gotten around to asking you about all that is all…” she said embarrassedly, clearly trying to think up an excuse. “I mean, I was going to yesterday, but after you so rudely stomped off–”
“After you called me something that Celestia said not to, after she explicitly laid out to you that I am not this little filly you think I am.”
I stopped where I was and stared intently at her, waiting to see what she would say next. I hoped for something along the lines of ‘let’s start over’, which I was absolutely willing to do. If I could not be at odds with the future ruler of Equestria like I was with the current one, I would take it.
“Yeah, well, it doesn’t help when you have that attitude and talk to the Princess however you want to,” she said. “You know respect is supposed to be earned, right? You have to give it to receive it. If you disrespect my teacher, then you’re disrespecting me.”
I wanted to scream. Talking to this pony was frustrating as heck. I knew I was only pushing the boiling point further down the road, but I didn’t want to deal with all of this right now. I simply stomped forward, once again for the millionth time getting myself bent out of shape because of these ponies.
Or maybe things did come to a boiling point, or at least simmered over, because a second later I was stopped again, crying where I stood. It only made me more upset, because I knew she was going to look at me more like I was a small child.
“Look, Asher, I didn’t mean to-”
“No!” I yelled. “I don’t want to play this game! I don’t want to argue back and forth with you all day and have you treat me like a little kid and a girl when I’m not those things! It’s already depressing enough that I’m never going to see my friends or family again or get my life back! I don’t need you to add on to that!”
It seemed I’d gotten through to her with my tears, because she looked like she genuinely felt bad by how I was reacting. I wished though that it was my words that had gotten through to her and not my tears. I shouldn't have had to be upset enough to cry to get things resolved.
“I’m sorry Asher,” she said quietly, bending down to speak to me. “It’s hard on me, too. I’ll try my best to be better, okay? Can you please stand up now? I really don’t want to have a scene out here.”
I had to huff and roll my eyes at that. “It’s just annoying that you’re more worried about a scene than you are me. I shouldn’t have to cry to get you to realize that you’re hurting me when I already directly told you so. More than once, in fact.”
“Look, I’m sorry, I’ll stop, okay? Now please stand up.”
I rolled my eyes again, something I felt like I did every other minute as I got up. I didn’t believe that she would be better, but I hoped she would. I heard the same thing from Cheerilee though, and she hadn’t changed, so I wasn’t in the wrong to be reluctant to believe her.
We walked in silence back to the library, my brooding expression probably stopping her from asking anything until we got there. She didn’t miss the opportunity though, waiting until once we were inside to talk to me again.
“So where are you from?” she asked casually as she grabbed a book off the bookshelf and sat at a table, trying to make it seem like she was uninterested in me.
“A place called Earth,” I answered flatly. “Do you have any interesting books I can read? I’m not really feeling up to reading economics again.”
“I’m not sure what you’d like, but there’s a whole library full of books here. I’m sure you’ll find something.” She paused, then asked, “Earth? Like, a town of just earth ponies?”
“I’m from Wilmington, Delaware,” I said, “but I told this all to Miss Cheerilee, so… no, I told it to Miss Redheart, and she told it to Miss Cheerilee, so either way, you probably got all of this information.”
“She told me that you were twenty five- well, that you said you were about to be twenty five, and that your father was a scooter mechanic?”
“A car mechanic. I guess trains are a better comparison since you guys have those here, but I didn't know that at the time.”
“She also said you believed in a pony you said was a deity called ‘God’ and that you might be displaying attention seeking behavior.”
“And she had a patronizing tone and actively did nothing to help me or treat me the way I wanted to be treated,” I spat angrily, still upset by that. “It would’ve been fine if I was actually nine years old, but I’m not. I should have asserted myself more during that first week here”
“Hmm. Well, forgive me if it sounds unbelievable to hear, but it does. It honestly sounds like you’re just playing pretend or making things up.”
“Then take it up with your teacher, Celestia, because she certainly believed me about most of it, not that she’s going to do anything about it. None of the people who were supposed to actually help me seemed like they wanted to very much. In a place full of magic, everyone’s been remarkably dismissive.”
“Well then, what’s your name?” the mare asked. “Cheerilee told me it was Ashley, but you’ve been calling yourself Asher.”
“I’ve never used the nickname ‘Asher’ once until I was turned into a girl, but my full name is Ashely Clifford Rockford. Not really a fan of Rocky as a nickname, and I’m certainly not a big red dog, so Ashely is what I go by. Err, went by, until I got here.” I thought of something before she could ask another question, and said, “For every question you ask, I get to ask one. So where are you from? Keep in mind you already asked me two questions, so I get two now.”
“I’m from Canterlot, the capital of Equestria,” she told me. “I lived with my parents until I was eighteen, then moved into an apartment while I studied under Princess Celestia until she sent me here a few weeks ago for the Summer Sun Celebration.”
“What’s it like there? Because it sounds like it’s a lot of politicians, like DC.” Also, it was a horse pun of ‘Camelot’, but I didn’t bring that up since she probably wouldn’t understand.
“There’s a lot of members of nobility there, the highest among them being Princess Celestia. Princess Cadance also lives there, and so does Prince Blueblood. The rest of them are dukes and barons and things of the like.” Then she asked, “Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness?”
Wow, she was just going straight for that. “My father called me a lunatic when I told him I was doing confirmation with the Lutheran church, and I think a doctor would tell me I have gender identity disorder right now since I look like a girl, but other than that, no. Have you been diagnosed with a mental illness?”
Apparently, she wasn’t prepared for that, because her cheeks went bright red and she looked away. “I- well, I was diagnosed with obsessive personality disorder when I was a teenager, and have been going to therapy for it since then. But I doubt it’s as noticeable now as it would’ve been before.”
It was extremely noticeable, and I couldn’t say I wasn’t surprised. If she thought it wasn’t as bad as it was before, I could only shudder to think of what she was like as a teenager.
“As if you’re not a carbon copy of her,” I thought to myself. Well, not a carbon copy. It was more like a caricature of myself that I might meet in a college classroom somewhere. I could actually see myself being friends with her if she could tone down how rude she was. I, at least, kept my comments to myself and tried to be respectful.
“You shouldn’t think like that at all. Respect is about more than what you say. Having ill thoughts in your heart isn’t much better than saying them out loud.”
“What do you look like as whatever creature you’re supposed to be?” she asked.
“I stand on two legs and have two arms, a long body, and straight, jet black hair on account of being half Asian… or an eighth Asian depending on who you ask. If you can believe it, all four of my grandparents are half Asian, despite the odds, so I technically qualify as half Asian based on genetics. I normally keep my hair cut short though, way shorter than this. I still have extremely fair skin though, somehow. I’m probably the palest person in all of America. Certainly in my family. If you saw me, you might think, ‘generic white guy’ unless I grew out my hair. I dyed it blonde once though, and I’m telling you, you wouldn’t have been able to pick me out of a crowd.”
“Huh. That’s certainly a mental image you created for me. What does ‘Asian’ mean?”
“It’s a group of countries in the far eastern hemisphere of Earth where most people on Earth live. Mostly China and Japan and Korea and India, but Saudi Arabia and Iran and Israel and Russia count as Asia, too. I’m talking about more Japan and Korea, though, Korea specifically. Also, that was two questions, so I get two now.”
We went on like this for more than a little while, a couple of hours actually, just asking questions back and forth. I learned in our conversation that she had an older brother and that she was, in terms of this world, in college. I was also noticing she cared more about being right than she did about how people took what she said, just based on some of the answers she gave, and was indeed quite obsessive like I thought. Apparently, she was seeing a counselor every month in Canterlot to work on her issues. I wondered if I should see one, too, but for depression instead, because being here with nothing to do all day was going to get extremely depressing, even more than it already was.
It might have been a good thing I was staying with her, because it was giving me a lot to reflect on about myself.
She and I probably would’ve gone on back and forth longer had there not been a flash interrupting us, Celestia suddenly appearing in the library, causing me to stumble back and fall on my butt.
“Twilight Sparkle, Asher,” she started, sending a smile my way and a brief glance in the eyes. “I hope you appreciated Princess Luna’s apology. What did you think of it?”
“Are you really retiring, Princess?” Twilight asked automatically, changing her face from normal to panic in a second. “There’s no way you can retire! Who’s going to protect Equestria if not you?”
“I’m sure someone suitable will be found, Twilight,” she said gently, like she was speaking to a child as she put a hoof on the unicorn’s shoulder. “Now please be at ease, Twilight.”
“But who’s it going to be?” she pressed. “Not Prince Blueblood, I hope. He certainly doesn’t have the temperament for it, even if he does know his way around Canterlot's royal circles. I would pick Princess Cadance if I were you, or maybe somepony like Fancy Pants, since he's much nicer than Blueblood is. I mean, Asher was trying to say you were going to pick me, but I can’t see how–”
“Twilight, please, be at ease,” Celestia told her again, more forcefully this time, shooting a look my way. “All will be revealed in time. I was only asking about Princess Luna’s apology. Also, if I could, I would like a moment alone with Asher, if I can have it.”
“Oh, uh, of course, Princess!” she said. “Anything you want! It’s no trouble to me.”
She smiled down at her, and then turned to me and looked me in the eye. “Shall we, Asher?” she asked, not waiting for an answer as she lit up her horn and teleported us away.
“I really hate magic,” I said. “I really, really hate magic.”
I was trying to get used to it, but it made me shiver to think about. I was getting okay with the idea of it being used around me, but I still didn’t want it used on me.
Celestia and I were in her castle once again, a disorienting experience getting here since the world transitioned from the library to here with no blink or pause or fade or anything. We were in the room I spent the night in before, the bed still unmade since I’d last been here. Wouldn’t Celestia have castle staff to take care of this? It was an interesting observation.
“What is it about magic you hate?”
“I’m pretty sure I already told you that,” I said. “If I haven’t, then you can probably guess easily.”
“Is this about that deity again?” she asked, raising an eyebrow before shaking her head. “Actually, never mind. It’s not important. What is important is that you keep secret my intentions for what will happen in the wake of my pending retirement. How you even found out is beyond me.”
“Wait, you were keeping that a secret?” I asked, genuinely confused. “And expecting me to not know? Cause it honestly felt like you were trying to point that out to me with the way you were staring at me… actually, I’m pretty sure you told me directly that she was going to take your place, but my memories from when I was sick are kind of foggy.”
She looked up and put a hoof on her chin as if she was trying to remember. Honestly, even if she didn’t tell me, it wasn’t like I was trying to figure out the nuclear codes. She was the princess, and Twilight Sparkle was always by her side. I could put one and one together. How no one else seemed to be able to was something else.
“Well, regardless,” she started, not acknowledging whether or not she told me, “I’d rather you keep this information to yourself. I don’t want to hear rumors swirling about my student if they can be helped.”
“Then why make the announcement at all?” I asked. “It’s really not hard to put together who’s gonna take your place if people just do the barest amount of research. Heck, I did no research, and I figured it out because it’s just so obvious. Not to mention, you were looking at me like you wanted me to know this exact thing.”
“I wanted you to understand that I know about the influence you have on my subjects,” she told me. “I can tell you have disdain for my student and I, and wanted to get ahead of any ill words you might be spreading.”
“So then you did intend for me to know?” I asked seriously, completely confused by what she was trying to say. She only glared at me, and I continued, “I’m not sure what effect you think I have on anyone. Not one person has listened to me about anything until I either told them three hundred times in a row or you stepped in to tell them. If I have any effect, it’s that people somehow think I’m a liar.”
“You say such things, and yet those two you spent time with, Lofty and Holiday, stare back at me with disdain because of what you told them. I can tell they are doubting my ability to rule because of you.”
“I only told them that–”
“It doesn’t matter what you told them!” she suddenly snapped, breaking her calm. “This is neither your country nor your world to determine how things should be run! Just as I wouldn’t go to Earth and criticize whoever your leader is, I expect you to give me the same respect and let me run my country as I see fit .”
I had to avoid rolling my eyes as I sighed, lest she get more angry. I only wanted her to know that my life wasn’t something to be played with. I didn’t care about what she did or how she ran her country. Just that maybe she shouldn't go around making risky plans involving the subjects she claimed to protect.
She seemed to recognize my disappointment that she never understood what I was saying, because her expression softened and she sighed. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I do not mean to snap at you. But please do not speak ill of me. My image is something I work hard to maintain, and I dislike seeing it tarnished the way you’re doing.”
“I just don’t want you putting my life needlessly in danger,” I replied. “I also don’t want to be treated like a child, because I’m not, and Twilight seems keen on doing that.”
“I will speak to her again on that,” she said, not commenting on the first thing. “In return, I want you to keep secret who I plan on having to take my place. I don’t want to see rumors spread about what my intentions are.”
“I mean, it’s completely obvious who you’re going to choose to take your place, but okay, if you say so. I just wanna put whatever you think of me behind us. Start off on another foot… err, hoof, I guess.”
“Yes, that sounds lovely. I do have a question though. Are you certain that the deity you claim to worship is real?”
“Yes,” I answered without hesitation. “I’m one hundred percent confident that God exists.”
She scrunched up her face at that, saying, “It seems I’ll have some work ahead of me if that’s the case… you know, you certainly have a knack for getting yourself wrapped up in things that don’t concern you and picking up on things other ponies can’t see.”
“It’s not like this stuff is hard to figure out,” I said, “but anyway, if you’re trying to one up God, it’s not gonna happen. In fact, it’s literally impossible to do.”
“Ah, yes, because this creature is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent. I remember now.” She rolled her eyes as she said it, clearly not believing me, but I was beyond caring at that point.
“In any case,” she continued, “you are correct. Twilight will be the heiress to my throne upon my retirement. This means that I’m expecting you to treat her with respect. Do not strut around as you have been and acting superior to everypony you encounter.”
I wasn’t acting like that… was I? I didn’t think I was, but now I had to think if I was. I mean, I didn’t approve of the way Twilight and Celestia treated me, and maybe I might have treated Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle and them more like kids than I should have, but… was I acting superior? It made me frown that I might have been.
No, no I wasn’t acting like that. I went along with everything everyone here said for the first two weeks I was here, and it got me nowhere. Asserting myself and standing up for myself didn’t mean I was acting superior. It meant I was fed up with giving in to everyone else's demands. If Celestia actually thought that, then she was being silly, but knowing her, it was probably her trying to subtly keep me more in line with whatever her plans were for me.
It wasn’t a good sign that, to me, the most likely option was that she was trying to manipulate me into doing what she wanted. I was certain that she didn’t trust me at all, which made sense, seeing as I didn’t trust her.
“Well, I won’t act superior,” I assured her, a true statement. “But if she keeps calling me a girl, I’m gonna keep being upset.” I knew it was important to be respectful, but it was hard to stay nice all the time to someone who was acting like a jerk.
“I already instructed her not to, so if she keeps it up, please let me know. However, I’m certain that as long as you treat her with respect, respect will be what she gives to you, even if she does act a bit eccentric.”
Yeah. Respect was what I needed to give first. Because it was my fault I was being disrespected. Of course. We were supposed to be starting off on a different foot, and yet she was acting exactly the same. Deflecting blame and saying it was my fault that I was being treated the way I was. Because of course it was.
“Well, like I said, I’ll give her respect, but my patience is not unlimited.” Then I sighed and said, “Anyway, was there anything else you wanted to tell me?”
“Not at the current time,” she replied. “Where there any questions you had of me?”
“Will I ever get home?” I asked, the question rolling right out of my head. “Cause if I’m not, I want to know now instead of holding out hope for something that isn’t going to happen.” I knew there was a possibility that God would let me go back home, but for some reason, that was feeling extremely unlikely. As much as I would’ve loved it, it didn’t feel like he’d be changing where or who I was anytime soon.
“No, it’s quite unlikely,” she told me seriously, looking down at me, not a hint of sympathy in her eyes. She seemed almost annoyed that I asked her.
“That’s what I thought,” I said, letting out a breath. “But I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. This is gonna suck so bad…”
I just had to keep on keeping on, and… I didn’t know what. Open a business? Or something? It wasn’t something that was gonna happen for years. For now, I had to waste away an entire childhood again going through the motions of it all.
"Well I expect you to behave in an appropriate way, even if you dislike your situation," she commented. It was completely unnecessary and did nothing but put me off more. This proved she didn't care about starting off on another foot.
“This is all just… mmmm.” Couldn’t curse. I wasn’t going to curse. I didn’t know how I felt though. Not like God didn’t exist. He definitely did, otherwise I wouldn’t be a pony. It was more like he wasn’t there, which was silly. Every time I prayed, he asserted his presence. It was like he didn’t care what happened to me though. It was feeling like all of this was happening for no reason, like all these ponies were treating me however which way they wanted just because . It was absolutely wearing me down, and I didn’t know how much more of it I was going to be able to take, especially not from Miss Above-It-All in front of me.
“Fucking bullshit!” I suddenly yelled at the top of my lungs, the princess jumping back in surprise, even surprising myself a little bit by the words I said. This whole situation had me absolutely furious, my jaw grinding down to the bone and my teeth ready to shatter because of how angry I was.
“It’s not okay, that look you give me like you just don’t care! With no sympathy at all! And adding little comments when I'm doing everything I can to not make you mad! Does me just existing here really make you that upset that you have to look at me like that? That you have to treat me the way you do?”
“When you act the way you do to ponies–”
“Because you keep fu– mmmmmm this argument is so ridiculous because you just don’t listen! You haven't listened to me once! At least Cheerilee pretended to be listening!”
I stomped out of the room in a huff, completely done with caring about Celestia or what she would do or what she wanted. It was always the same thing with her in my short time knowing her: deflecting blame and not changing, even after saying she wanted to start over with me. She was completely unsympathetic to what happened to me, and I wasn’t going to keep dealing with more of that.
I actually made it all the way to the train station in Canterlot before Celestia finally came after me.
“Asher, do not leave,” she commanded, stalking behind me. I could practically feel her looking down at me, like she was about to pick me up by the neck like a cat.
“We can talk about this,” she said, something I didn’t believe.
“I’m so past done talking,” I said as I stood under an awning for the train. “I’m not interested in talking at you.”
“What exactly is the issue?”’
I had to bite my tongue to avoid screaming at her. “I told you at least ten times what the issue is. I’m not gonna say it again.”
“Asher–”
“Don’t you have a public image to maintain?” I asked bitterly, turning my head and glaring at her. “Maybe you should focus on that since you care more about it than you do anything I’ve been saying.”
Her wings flared in anger, and she stuck her nose in my face again, glaring at me like she did yesterday. This time though, I stood my ground, glaring back at her. I was prepared to argue against whatever she was going to say.
She didn’t say anything, taking the opportunity to grab the fat of my neck in her maw like Cheerilee did before and head back to the castle. She walked there, not bothering to teleport there. I didn’t know how long it took, but before long, she was setting me down on the bed of the room we were just in.
“Asher, I command you, stop with this insolence,” Celestia said loudly, glaring at me. At least, I imagined she was. I couldn’t actually see her because I put my head against the pillow to scream in frustration.
“Would your God want you to be acting this way?” she asked, something that only got me more riled up. It was such an insincere question, and even if it was sincere, I wasn’t sure what the answer was.
Well, I knew the answer. It was to subject yourself to your rulers, which, I would admit, I was struggling with a little bit. I shouldn’t have been so argumentative when I was told to stay with Twilight, even as brutal as I thought it would be. I probably also shouldn’t have been speaking so badly of Celestia to other ponies. It was something I needed to work on, I was ready to admit. I couldn’t say I was a perfect person, or anywhere close to it.
I did think there was a limit to submitting to authority, but where it was, I didn’t know. It was certainly at actively putting my and other ponies' lives in danger, I knew that. There was a time to be submissive, but intentionally trying to cause harm to your subjects was a time to speak up and out about how rulers acted.
I didn’t say that though. I was already beyond done with today. I wanted to go to sleep and wake up and be back at home in my own body, something that was never going to happen. I was gonna be trapped like this forever, growing into something I didn’t want to be.
“Don’t get dysphoric,” I told myself, having to let out a shiver. “I’m not gonna focus on dysphoria. That’s the point of finding something to occupy my time, so I can not sit and stew about everything.”
I needed to get out of this depressive mindset, that I knew. Try and make friends with that librarian, talk to Caramel about helping them out with stuff. In essence, I needed to make this world my own. If I could do that, then… well, I wouldn’t be happy, but I’d feel better.
Of course, that was gonna be an impossible task if Celestia kept acting like this.
“Why do you care so much about what I think and what I do?” I asked after a long moment of her standing over me. I didn’t turn to look at her though. I was way too angry.
“If I’m just a little girl like you say, then why are you even entertaining me at all with anything?” I asked. “What I do shouldn’t affect you in the slightest, just like what a 9 year old does on Earth doesn’t affect the president. Why are you so hung up on me?”
“Because you have the capacity to upend the plans I have in motion,” she said. “How you do, I can’t say, but you’ve already thrown what I intend to happen out of place just by your presence here.”
I was pretty sure she told me that before, but what exactly was I supposed to do about that? I couldn’t help if I got sick or talked to other ponies or whatever else might mess things up for her. Honestly, if her plans hinged on my not being sick, then it was a pretty weak plan to begin with.
“What can we do so I’m not making you angry and having you scoff at me and just look at me with nothing but contempt?” I asked, turning around to look her in the eye. “Because getting more contempt and mean looks is just gonna make me more put off with you.”
“Do not speak ill of me,” she said. “Do not speak my intentions to anypony else. Do not treat me or Twilight Sparkle with the disrespect you have been.”
I wanted to bash my head against the wall. I already said I wasn’t going to do those things. How she could possibly be this dense, I didn’t know, but I was absolutely fed up with it. Even managing a fast food place, none of my employees acted this self absorbed. How she got to be ruler acting like this, I had no idea.
“You’re gonna make me lose my mind,” I said, taking a breath and forcing myself not to yell. “This conversation is so ridiculous.”
“It’s ridiculous to ask you to be polite and follow basic etiquette when speaking to those who are superior to you?”
“I’m not going back and forth with you. I’m not. If you can’t get what I said for the twenty-eighth time, then my voice falls on deaf ears.”
“Asher, do not be like this.”
I took another deep breath. I wasn’t going to snap at her. This conversation was going absolutely nowhere. The best I could do was placate her and give in, even though I said I would do that before she gave me angry, hateful looks.
“Fine. I won’t talk bad about you, or about Twilight, or do anything at all lest it upset whatever plan you have. I take full blame for being sick and sitting next to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon while I was sneezing however many days ago.”
“Asher–”
“This is what you want, right? I’m agreeing to do whatever you want, even though you keep acting mean and brushing me off and being unsympathetic.”
I could feel the emotion welling up, and did my best to keep a straight face. I didn’t do that great of a job, because I could see Celestia finally looking a bit sympathetic for me, maybe even slightly ashamed. I was so over talking to her though.
“Was there anything else you wanted to blame on me and tell me not to do?” I asked. “Or can I leave now?”
“I’m not blaming you for being sick, Asher–”
“Fine. You’re not. I’m sorry for thinking you were. Is there anything else I should apologize for, or can I leave now?”
She opened her mouth to say something, but after a second of silence, closed it again. I took that as my queue that I could leave again, stomping past her and trying to keep myself together.
“Where are you going?”
“Back to Ponyville,” I said, not turning to look at her. “I can take the train back by myself.”
She didn’t stop me this time, letting me leave on my own. I had to force myself not to cry as I walked, almost becoming dizzy with how many deep breaths I was taking. That whole conversation really screwed with my emotions, but what didn’t these days? I cried over half the days I was here.
The train station had no trouble accepting me on board. I didn’t even have to pay, since they saw me as a foal. Or maybe it was just the sad look I had in my eyes when I said I was going to Ponyville. Either way, it was hassle free.
I sat in the back, ready to burst into tears at any moment, but somehow kept control of myself. I at the very least didn’t want to cry in front of these ponies. That would’ve just made me more upset.
“Lord, I ask that you help me to walk in your light to the best of my ability,” I prayed. “I ask that you bring me peace and help to ease my mind, in spite of all these things. I ask that you let your will continue to be your will.”
I took a deep breath, feeling my lip start to tremble, but still forced myself not to cry. I was never going to see my family or friends again. That was a fact. I was gonna be stuck here, and for a good long time if Celestia was right about how old ponies got.
I needed something to direct my attention to, and the obvious thing would be making this world my own. It had only been two weeks, and I was nowhere near in the headspace to start doing that, but I apparently had hundreds of years according to Celestia. There was plenty of time to just sit and think and get my head screwed on straight. I could do that, even without my friends or family or my old life and being a girl.
“Heck, this dysphoria is bad. How does anyone live like this?”
I kept myself from crying as the train stopped in Ponyville, ignoring Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle and their friends as I went straight to the library. I couldn’t keep my composure any longer when I finally closed the door behind me, falling down right there as I let the tears flow.
“What’s wrong?” Twilight asked, coming up to me, but I turned my head away.
“It doesn’t matter,” I said bitterly. “No one here cares.”
“What does no one here care about?” she asked, sounding completely confused.
“Just leave me alone,” I said, getting back up as I continued into my bedroom. “I just want to be alone.
“How am I so bad at managing one foal?” Celestia asked herself as she looked in the mirror of her bedroom. “How long has it been since I’ve had somepony working against me?”
Of course, she knew Asher wasn’t directly working against her. The filly was just doing whatever she thought was best. But it was a problem, one she had no idea how to deal with. It didn’t help the confrontational attitude she possessed, one that rubbed under Celestia’s skin deeply. She didn’t know why it upset her so much, but something about the air of superiority she seemed to have got to her. Maybe it was the fact that she only looked like a foal while acting like an adult.
The more she argued with her, the more things would get out of hoof, that Celestia knew. There would come a point when Asher would try to directly work against her, and what she would do then, she didn’t know. Hopefully, it wouldn’t come to that point, but Celestia had a feeling it was slowly getting there. With how observant she was and her intellect, as well as her distinct lack of naivety most ponies had, she was certain Asher could have Equestria in her grasp if she tried.
That was something she didn’t want to have happen.
“Something bothering you, Celly?” Princess Luna asked, sneaking up on her sister. “You look quite annoyed.”
“It’s nothing,” she replied. “Just thinking something over. What are you doing up so early in the afternoon?”
“I am trying to become adjusted to sleeping in the day once again,” she said. “The light of the moon doesn’t shift for weeks at a time. It’s days of permanent sunlight, and then days of permanent darkness. Quite disorienting it is to be here once again, where we cycle the sun and moon regularly.” She stretched and yawned, saying, “I figure we ought to prepare for our duties in the meantime. Taking over the realm of dreams once again is something that will take us weeks. We figure we might as well help ponies who sleep during the day before taking over night duties once again.”
“I see. Well, I’ll be here for a while before I head off. Good night, Luna.”
There were hardly any ponies asleep during the day, and no nightmares to contend with. Luna figured it was a good thing, and went around observing the ponies who were asleep during the day to see what kinds of dreams they had. It was a good way to get back into the pace of things.
It seemed ponies had the same dreams they had a thousand years ago, something that caused her to giggle. Or, at least, she thought so, until she stepped into an exceptionally odd one. It was one like she’d never seen.
The colors here were much more muted than the real world, and the food smelled weird. She was in a building, one with a lot of strange creatures, all bipedal, all of which came in different shades of brown, from pale white to almost black. Their manes had more variety, but were largely the same way, organizing from blonde and gold to brown to black as night. It seemed they were in a cafe or a restaurant of some kind, because every creature here was eating something, or waiting in line to receive a meal.
“Nightmare Moon?” a voice called, one coming from behind the counter the creatures were lining up at. This one was probably the palest among them, and a bit on the taller side, with jet black hair that fell to its shoulders and eyes a bit more oval than his counterparts. She knew it was a male from the way his voice sounded and his sort of pointed face. He was slim, but not thin, and stood almost as tall as she was, certainly as eye level.
“Is that you?” he asked. “What are you doing here?”
“Who in Equestria does this dream belong to?” she asked, tilting her head. “Who are you?”
“Huh? I’m Ashley… err, well, Asher, but…” He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t hate the name Ashely when I actually look like myself.”
She blinked at that, and said, “My sister was right. You really are from another world!”
“Yeah, I am. Not a lot of people believe me about that, and the ones who do like to give me as much trouble as possible. Except for Lofty and Holiday. They’re nice.”
“And you truly are an adult male?” she asked.
“I’m certainly not a lady, and don’t sound like a little kid,” he answered. “Even if I’ve been acting like one with how emotional I’ve been. Like a kid, I mean.”
“Huh. Well that’s certainly interesting to hear,” she said, taking him in again. “You are a very strange looking creature,” she said. “Do you look like this where you’re from?”
“Yup,” he answered, then shook his mane. “My hair isn’t usually this long though. I like to keep it down below an inch. This has to be at least twelve since it touches my shoulders. It hasn’t been this long since I was sixteen. I guess it shows off my Korean roots though when I grow it out. You can tell that I'm half Asian more easily this way.”
“It certainly makes you look a bit different from the rest of the creatures here,” she agreed. “But I must ask, what are you doing sleeping in the middle of the day?”
“I’m just stressed out,” Asher explained. “By that librarian I live with and Celestia and being a pony and just everything.” He sighed and said, “Being able to be myself for a few minutes is nice, even if it’s in a dream.”
“Ah, quite understandable, we say,” she agreed. “Although we must ask further: what issue with my sister is causing you stress?”
“The fact that she’s being completely unsympathetic to me even though I told her I’d do whatever she wanted to,” he explained, his face turning into a scowl. “She’s just acting mean because… I don’t know! I got sick the first few days I was here? As if I intentionally did that?”
“It seems our sister has taken quite the dislike to you, we will admit. Although from what she told us, it seems you’re ruining her plans, whether intentional or unintentional.”
“Okay, and what exactly does she want me to do about that?” he asked. “Just stop existing? Because believe me, if I could be on Earth again, I’d take it the first chance I got. I’m not fond of Equestria so far.”
“I believe she would like that as well. But from her words, I don’t believe she expects it to happen, much to both your and her dismay.”
“So what exactly am I supposed to do?”
“It is a good question,” Luna considered, placing a hoof on her chin. “I’m not exactly sure.” She paused for a moment before continuing, “Perhaps keep your head down and maintain a low profile? That shouldn't be too hard I think for a filly. I haven’t spoken to her extensively about you, but I believe she feels you have the capacity to completely unravel things and change the face of Equestria.”
“Change the face of Equestria?”
“The politics of Equestria,” she explained. “Influence rulers and nobility and common ponies and whoever else. The comments she’s made about you suggests she thinks you have the capacity, and just speaking to you, it seems you have the capacity to pick up on things many ponies would miss.”
“Hmmm… now there’s a thought,” he hummed to himself. “I wonder if…”
“Now I want to be clear, I’m not suggesting you intentionally try to insert yourself into Equestrian politics,” Luna told him. “However, if you were to, I’m certain there are quite a few things you’d be able to push through in spite of my sister. Of course, you’d be risking my sister’s wrath if you did such a thing, but I would say it is possible for one such as you.”
“Well, I wouldn’t want to make Celestia angry, would I?” Asher said, rolling his eyes. “But it is something to think about, certainly interesting. I’ll have to keep that in mind… but why are you telling me this?”
“What do you mean?” Luna asked, tilting her head in confusion. He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself before any words came out.
“Nothing. Never mind. It’s just interesting to hear.”
I woke up from my little nap smiling to myself, feeling happy, almost excited about the future. It was like my entire worldview flipped in my head and a much brighter future was visible on the horizon.
I used to want to be a politician, but I didn’t think I had the talent to be one. Not to mention, politics seemed like they were turning much more polarized day by day, and I wasn’t interested in jumping in the ring and being hated for what I thought. But it was something I wanted to be, much more than managing a restaurant or starting a business. If Nightmare Moon was right about what she said about me, then this should’ve been a piece of cake. I wasn’t sure it would be all sunshine and roses, but I was way too interested in this now. I’d at least be looking into it.
Speaking of Nightmare Moon, I wasn’t exactly sure if she was trying to get me to do something. It seemed like she was, but she looked and sounded genuinely confused when I tried to ask her about it. I didn’t know if she was wanting me to intentionally sabotage Celestia or something, but that wasn’t how I was gonna roll. I would follow whatever rules for politics they had here if I went down that road, which was still an if. I knew though that regardless of whether I was nice and did things the right way or tried to start a coup, dealing with Celestia’s wrath would not be fun.
Would your God want you to act this way? The question played in my head again. She was so disingenuous asking that, but it was still a good question. A great question in fact, even if it wasn’t one that took very long to decide an answer on. God wouldn’t want me to be insolent and disrespectful, but if I got into politics– if – then as long as I did things the right way, I knew there wouldn’t be any issue to think of. That was the main thing though. Doing things in the right way. Being better about being so confrontational and angry, even if I was being treated poorly. Celestia was right in some ways. I could’ve been acting better.
But politics were something that was a long time away from now. For now, I wanted to help Caramel with whatever it was they did all day so I could occupy my time. I’d have literal decades to figure out how the heck I wanted to go about all of this. I wanted to be doing something productive in the meantime, and working with the pony on a farm seemed productive enough.
Or maybe I wouldn't be doing that, since when I was waking up, the world outside my window was completely dark. Well past sunset, nearly one in the morning according to the clock. My sleep schedule was going to be ruined if I didn’t get back in bed.
I got up anyway, heading downstairs to see Twilight sitting at a library table, reading a book about who knew what at this late of an hour. She looked up and opened her mouth, prepared to tell me to go back to bed before she likely remembered I just napped for what had to be eight hours.
“Before you ask,” she said, “I’m up this late because my circadian rhythm is still out of sync after that incident with Nightmare Moon. Err, Princess Luna.”
“I wasn’t going to ask about that. But do you have any books here on politics? Except in English? Err, Unicorn Script, so I can read them?”
She raised an eyebrow at that. “You can’t read regular Ponish?”
“Nope. Apparently, I can only read Unicorn Script. It’s the same as English on Earth, luckily enough. I assume there won’t be many books written in that language though, will there be?”
“Normally not, but almost all of our books on politics are written using that because almost all of them come from Canterlot, where that script is most commonly used. Honestly, it makes things a lot easier to me, but it can be hard for a lot of ponies to memorize and write out a bunch of different symbols, instead of just using Ponish. Anyway though, they’re over on… I’m not sure. Normally Spike keeps track of that. But I’d expect in either the P’s, C’s, G’s, or N’s.”
“C’s or N’s? I know P is for politics and G is probably for government…”
“C’s for Canterlot, and N’s for Nobility.”
With that knowledge, I headed headed to the C’s first since they were the closest and picked up the first book about politics I saw. It was a particularly thick one, titled ‘Canterlot’s Long Political History– A Beginner’s Guide’. It was going to take weeks to get through, looking more like a textbook than a regular book.
I grabbed it and opened it up, taking a spot across from Twilight to read. I didn’t care that it was one in the morning. I’d already slept for a good, long time. I was gonna be up the entire night with this.
I didn’t get very far into it, just past the introduction and the start of a story about how wind spirits were going to take over Equestria, when Twilight started talking to me.
“What has you interested in politics?” she asked. “If you think you’re gonna be able to get into government, you have another thing coming. It’s an extremely difficult thing to do.”
“Ah, yes, crush a young man's dreams,” I replied sarcastically. “I’m just curious,” I told her, not exactly a lie. “I used to be into politics when I was a human. Couldn’t really get into it though, as in, be a politician. I wasn’t rich enough or smart enough for all that. Plus, having people hate me didn’t seem very fun.”
“Don’t think about how depressing it is to have to say ‘when I was a human’.”
“Well, what are politics like where you’re from?” she asked. "How is your government run?"
“That’s a complicated question that could take a long while to explain, but the short version is there are three branches of government. One branch makes the laws, one enforces the laws, and one interprets the laws. Legislative, executive and judicial, respectively. People vote on the members of the first two, and the first two branches vote on members of the third. Elections are held every two, four, and six years for the first two, and the third has members appointed when someone dies or retires.”
“Huh. That seems strange to me,” she commented, putting a hoof on her chin. “Nopony chooses legislators like that in Canterlot. Well, I mean, you do have to have normal people want you to be legislator for Celestia to appoint you, but in theory you don’t. Ours is that, the Royal Guard enforces the law, Celestia approves and interprets the law, and the nobles submit laws to Celestia, who can come up with them herself as well.”
Yup. Based on that description, Celestia was a dictator. A benevolent one sure, mostly anyway, but still a dictator. I already knew that, but Twilight all but confirmed that to me now. I had no chance at all at ever doing something like being a politician if I had to work through her.
“I can’t imagine what kind of chaos would happen if ponies got to vote for their rulers,” Twilight continued. “I mean, what would happen if they chose legislators who were terrible, or a ruler who wanted to oppress them? It's a good thing all those things go through Celestia.”
“Well, that’s why you vote them out of office once their terms are up,” I explained. “Someone who’s elected has to do what the people who vote for them want to keep being elected. If they don’t, they won’t have a job. Someone who isn’t elected and rules over a country has no incentive to look out for the needs of those they rule over.”
“Princess Celestia looks out for ponies anyway,” the librarian countered. “She doesn’t have an incentive, but she makes sure everypony is safe and sound in Equestria anyway.”
Not exactly in my opinion, but she told me I can’t talk about that, so I didn’t bring it up.
“Okay, but, what if she didn't?” I asked.
“But she does.”
“But what if she didn’t? What exactly is stopping her from, say, lowering the sun and partnering up with Nightmare Moon? I mean, other than the kindness of her heart? With voting, you could just vote out the person you don’t like and replace them with someone you do.”
Twilight blinked at that idea. “Huh. I never thought of that… although, you know what you’re arguing for is considered treason, right? It’s not something little fillies should be going around saying in public.”
“I’m not arguing for anything,” I replied. “You asked about our political system, and I’m telling. Besides, if Celestia can raise the sun herself, I’m sure she can crush anypony who opposes her beneath her hooves.”
I was still thinking about how weird it was that Nightmare Moon told me this and got it in my head. Did she have some sort of other agenda she wanted me to complete on her behalf? It was extremely strange that she told me that but seemed to not understand what she was telling me or implying. I almost wouldn't believe she was that naïve if I hadn’t known everypony else here to be just as naïve, Celestia included. Everyone here operated with a weirdly trusting pattern about them, almost as if this was a children’s show.
“Well that's an interesting way to phrase that, but it is certainly something to consider. Very interesting to think about anyway, a world where ponies get to choose who rules. I wonder what a world like that would be. Maybe more messy if ponies chose to put someone other than Princess Celestia in place… wait, do you think that’s what Princess Celestia is gonna do with choosing a new ruler to take her place?”
“Knowing her, it's unlikely, but it certainly would be interesting if she did.”
Oh, there was a delicious thought right there if she did, but that thought was going to stay on the shelf for now. On the shelf, but plainly in sight, on the off chance that she really did decide to let ponies elect the next ruler. Although the chance of it was practically nonexistent, knowing the princess.
“Well, it sounds like something definitely worth experimenting with, honestly, although I’m not sure anypony in Canterlot would like that very much. I wonder what Princess Celestia would think.”
“It’s also a bit more complicated than you’re making it out to be. There are political parties and gerrymandering districts to control who people vote for and lobbyists who throw money at candidates to help them win through advertising and primary elections to determine who people even can vote for… basically, it’s a mess of stuff. But, you know, better to have the illusion of choice than no choice at all, in my opinion.”
“I’d be careful going around Ponyville saying things like that,” she said again. “It’s really not something you should even be talking about, really. But it certainly is interesting to hear about. I wonder if something like that could actually work.”
I could see the idea spinning in her head, something I didn’t intend, not entirely anyway, but also something I didn’t really mind. It wasn’t like anything was going to change right away anyway, but I knew if she told Celestia, I was gonna get another earful. I was beyond caring at this point though. I’d gotten so much from her already.
“Should I be doing this?” I asked. I was only answering her questions, not offering up the information on my own, but the whole issue of submitting to authority was playing in my head once again. Did this count as submitting to authority? Was I doing the right thing even thinking about going against her like this? There was no way I would ever no for certain.
Celestia’s words. Did she ask that intentionally? I mean, obviously she did, but did she ask that with the intention to get me to doubt myself? I wouldn't have been surprised if she did. Just knowing that made me more certain that I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Besides, even if I wasn’t submitting to authority, Celestia was still acting the way she was, and that was something to stand up against. More importantly, I was just answering a question Twilight asked. There was certainly nothing wrong with that, even if it did give her ideas Celestia might not like.
“Can you just make sure not to tell this to Celestia?” I asked. “She’s just gonna yell at me some more and get all bent out of shape.”
“Sure, I won’t tell, Ashley.”
“Asher. It’s Asher until you acknowledge that I’m a man.” It was another thing I didn’t know if I was doing right, but something I wasn’t going to put thought into right now with how awful and uncomfortable it felt to hear myself be referred to as a girl. There were a lot of things I didn’t know. All I could do was try my very best and hope that it was good enough. Besides, I had a long time to figure it all out.
“I’m gonna try my best to make this world my own.”
“Wait, so everythin’s a business expense?” the mare asked. “Even eatin' food and stuff?”
“It costs money for you to be alive,” I explained, “and since you can’t buck apples if you’re dead, it’s a business expense. Or rather, the phrase ‘cost to produce’ is better, because business expenses would strictly relate to apple trees and their maintenance.”
“Huh. That’s a funny way of thinkin’ ‘bout it. But vacations and such can’t factor inta the cost ta sell an apple.”
“They absolutely do. If you work every day without a break, you’re gonna wear yourself out and be less productive. You’re at your peak after a good break. Vacations definitely factor into cost to produce an apple. I mean, what good is it to do the job you love if you’re burning yourself out and hating it by the end of the day and are never happy?”
“Ah don’t burn myself out,” she protested, although relented a second later. “I guess though that Ah do go ta bed tired a lot. Don’t really have much time ta see my friends or make barn repairs. A vacation would be nice…”
“Yes it would, wouldn’t it? And that’s why it’s also put into the cost.”
“Well Ah don’t really hafta raise my prices though,” she tried to argue. “We kinda get by here already. And besides, that’s what the Grand Galloping Gala’s for! We’re gonna go there and sell a buncha apples and make so much money that we’ll pay for everythin’!”
“Unless whatever that is is the event of the year,” I tried to say, “then that’s not a reasonable expectation to set on yourself."
“Plus, doesn’t the Grand Galloping Gala already have free food?” Caramel asked. “Why would ponies pay for food when they can already get it for free at the event?”
“Well like Ah said, our apples are the best apples in all of Equestria, so even them fancy shmancy ponies in Canterlot will wanna have a taste.”
“So let me get this straight: you’re expecting to make enough money to fix this barn and your house and farm during a one day event in a place that already has free food?”
“Yup! Plus enough ta get Granny Smith a new hip!” She sent a smile my way with that statement like she was completely sure this was an excellent plan.
“I’m telling you now, that’s not gonna work. If you’re expecting that to work, you’re setting yourself up for failure. You should just be raising the price of apples in general. If your apples are premium, ponies should pay a premium price for them. Or, at least, a price that lets you live comfortably.”
“Well like Ah said, that just seems unfair.”
“It’s unfair to want to make enough money to be able to fix your farm up?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “Cause if it is, then I don’t know what is fair.”
"Well... I guess it might be okay ta maybe raise prices... but just a little bit. Nothin' too high. Ah don't even know though how much ta raise them."
“Do you have any paper and pencils in here? We can go through and figure out how much an apple should cost. Keep in mind, a general rule of thumb is that you want to make about ten cents for every dollar you sell… or one bit per every ten, I guess. That means enough to cover everything you need to live and then ten percent going into savings. Of course, depending on how much you make, you can adjust that to be whatever you want, but it’s just a general rule.”
“I thought we already were factoring saving for emergencies.”
“We are. The ten percent is just gonna be a general saving fund, for if you want to invest in other business or buy a new farm or give money to your kids when you die or whatever else. Anyway, where’s that paper?”
Caramel brought us some, and we started to go through it. As we did, the farm pony made a little comment about my writing style.
“Wow, ya even write like them fancy shmancy ponies in Canterlot. No wonder yer so smart.”
“I’m not that smart. I’m just old. I’ve gone to college for all this stuff before. I’m a year away from getting my master’s. Err, was.”
I let that depressing thought hang there as we spent the next hour and a half going through everything she had to pay for and what she was charging for each thing and how much of them she sold. By the end of it, I thought we put together a good plan for pricing her apples. She wouldn’t accept ten percent profits, but I did manage to convince her to take five percent. But if she followed what I said, then she should have be able to fix up her farm like she wanted to in no time.
“Ah think Ah can go with this,” she told me. “This feels like enough money ta start fixin’ some things up around here. Thank ya kindly, little filly.”
I didn’t comment on the adage of ‘little filly’, only letting out a breath before hopping down from my chair. “Don’t mention it. It’s what I do. I just didn’t want to see you losing money when you could be making some and not having to rely on some year end sale.”
“Well know that it’s greatly appreciated… hey, did ya get yer cutie mark just now?” she asked. “Ah don’t remember ya comin’ in with one if Ah recall.”
“He didn’t! He must have got that just now!" Caramel said. “Good job!”
I looked down at my butt to see three gold coins with dollar signs on them now made their way on me. If Scootaloo’s definition of a cutie mark was accurate, I guessed this meant I was good with money, which was something I wasn’t expecting. I mean, I knew regular economics, but I was no financial expert. I honestly expected a couple of other things to be in its place instead.
“Wouldn’t be surprised if ya became one of them Canterlot ponies,” the apple farmer told me. “What with a cutie mark like that and all this helpin’ ya did, ya could probably waltz yer way into their circles in a blink. They’re always thinkin’ of things like that.”
That was another pony saying I’d be good in politics, a comment that made me just that much more assured in wanting to do something like that. If these ponies saw that in me, that would make it much easier to actually be able to put work into and achieve. A few ponies was a good starting point, and something to build on.
“How do you feel about it? This must be pretty exciting, right?”
“I mean, I thought it was going to be something different,” I said. “Like a cross or something.” That was an extremely narcissistic thought I had, but I honestly expected it. It was almost surprising that it wasn’t that.
“But I guess it’s nice enough,” I said. “I don’t know if it means I get to do things differently now or if anything changes, but I mean…” I shrugged, not really knowing what to say.
“Maybe yer just in shock,” the farm pony said. “In a little while, ya won’t even be able ta believe it! But thank ya kindly fer helpin’ me out with my budget. Yer quite the smart filly.”
Quite the smart filly , she said. It got the words Celestia told me to roll around in my head once again. Would God want me to be acting this way? There was no way that God would want me to be dysphoric like this, right? Except that seemed like it was exactly the case given He turned me into this.
Maybe Caramel and I really were different in our circumstances, except not in the way I expected. Maybe they were in the right for wanting to be a mare since they felt the way they did, and I was wrong wanting to be a stallion because I used to be a man and God explicitly turned me into this. I didn’t know what my life would come to having to live like this, but I couldn’t do three hundred plus years of Earth time feeling this way.
“All the more reason to focus on politics,” I thought to myself. “Or maybe, if I’m going to be around for that long anyway, I could get started working on opening a business, too. I’d certainly have time on my hands. I’m gonna need a good distraction.” Celestia’s awful ruling might have been a secondary objective compared to a good distraction.
I didn’t bother trying to correct her on the fact that I wasn’t a girl, only saying a simple ‘your welcome’ before heading on out, Caramel and I heading back into the orchard.
“You’re really not excited about your cutie mark?” they asked, changing their voice to the higher pitched voice they had before. “Almost every single foal I know would be excited.”
“It’s whatever. I guess it makes sense for it to be with money though. That’s what I was going to college for. I just kind of wished it was something different.”
“Well, your cutie mark does signify your special talent, but you shouldn’t let that define you. You can do whatever it is you love the most.”
“I know that, but… I don’t know. There’s just so much time… hey, how old was the oldest pony you knew?” I suddenly asked.
“Huh? Oh, that would be my great grandmother, Shoe Shine. She lived to be a hundred and sixty one. I think the oldest pony in Equestria outside of the princess was a hundred and eighty four though.”
Some quick mental math put that at four to five hundred years. There was no way I was going to last that long living like this. It gave me another question though.
“How old are you, Caramel?”
“Eighteen.”
That was a bit younger than I was expecting. I thought they’d say somewhere in their late twenties or early thirties range. I didn’t dwell on that though, continuing, “How long do you think you’d be able to live the way you are now, without changing anything about yourself?”
“What do you mean? Like, how long before I, uh…”
“How long until you got completely fed up with it and just said, ‘I don’t care what anyone else thinks, I’m going to change myself?”
“Oh. Whoo, I thought you were asking something else there for a second. But I’d say… I don’t know. Maybe a year or two? But I guess right now, probably. It’s just…” They sighed and lowered their head, saying, “I don’t think I’d be able to do another year. I just want to start being able to be myself.”
That did not give me the hope I was looking for. But then again, I was pretty sure Caramel didn’t believe in God. I’d be able to manage better than they were able to with God on my side.
I hoped so anyway.
“I read a few stories about magic spells that can change your sex though. That’d be nice, if they could get somepony working on that. I’d be first in line.”
“Wait, don’t they have, like… I don’t know what the word for it is. Like, medicine and stuff you can take?”
“Huh? Not that I’ve heard of. Unless you’ve heard of something like that?”
“Never mind.” Why was I even thinking about that? I was at such a crossroads. I didn’t know what to do if the option was available because I didn’t know what God would want me to do.
It was something I tried to convince myself of anyway. I felt like I knew, but I wasn’t ready to acknowledge that yet. I would hold out hope for now.
“Anyway, I wanna change subjects,” I said. “Do you think I’d be able to be a politician or open a business very easily?”
“I don’t know how to be a politician, but I’m sure opening a business should be easy. I mean, all you have to do is have a product to sell, and make sure you pay Princess Celestia her taxes.”
“Interesting. I’ll have to look into the later. I don’t see why I can’t do both. But anyway, let’s get something done. I need something to think about other than myself.”
Talent Discovery Association
We spent the rest of the day working on the farm picking apples, and the next few weeks as well. It was boring and tiring, and felt just like working at the restaurant I did before. It was exactly what I needed in my life, and absolutely helped me work on managing dysphoria.
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle practically gawked at me when they saw the mark on my butt, clamoring over me and begging to know what it meant and how I got it and what it felt like to have my special talent. They weren’t particularly satisfied with the answer that I felt exactly the same now as I did before or that I spent several years studying my field. They chalked up my lack of excitement to me being a weird alien.
The two of them did occasionally help out on the farm with Caramel and I, the logic being that since I got my cutie mark here, they could get their cutie marks here, too. Eventually, they ran into the farmer’s little sister and formed a club about searching for cutie marks, of which they made me an honorary member. We were sitting underneath an apple tree eating lunch as we talked about it.
“Ah got it! The Cutie Mark Crusaders!” the yellow filly said, to the applause of Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.
“I don’t know,” I chimed in. “I wouldn’t really call it a ‘crusade’ per se. I just got mine randomly from helping your older sister with her finances.”
“Well what do you think then, Asher?” Sweetie Belle asked. “If you already found yours, then maybe you should come up with the name!”
“Well, a cutie mark signifies your special talent, right? How about the Talent Discovery Association?” I offered. The three of them raised their eyebrows to me as though they didn’t like the idea.
“Well, I mean, it has to be focused on the talent aspect rather than the cutie mark aspect, I think. Otherwise, how am I supposed to be in the club if I already have one? Plus, I’m sure other people have other talents. Like, for example, I wasn’t going to be a banker or financial advisor when I was done with college. I was going to manage a restaurant or a store. They’re not nearly the same thing. Not to mention, I can cook, and, um, other things.”
“And that way we can let other ponies be in our club!” the yellow pony finished for me. “Wow, yer friend is really smart! No wonder she got her cutie mark so soon! How old are ya again?”
“I don’t know. About nine? I’d need a calculator or some paper to give you an exact age. But for all intents and purposes, nine.”
“He’s actually twenty five and from a place called ‘Earth’! Plus, he’s really a boy, but he just looks like a filly, and Princess Celestia came to my house to meet him, and–”
“And he’s amazing!”
“I’m not amazing, just old,” I said, smiling at hearing male pronouns. “But I appreciate the compliments.”
It was weird how a couple of kids could call me a boy when a whole lot of adults couldn’t. Maybe it was something about their childish naivety.
I hope I’m not being a bad influence on them. I don’t want them to suddenly say they’re trans when I know they’re not. If that happened, I would be extremely upset with myself.
“Huh, if all that’s true, then ya really are weird. No wonder everypony’s sayin’ Silver Spoon likes ya.”
“What? Who said that?” I asked, blushing a little bit and feeling uncomfortable by the thought.
“Ah dunno. Everypony really. Like, she talks about ya all the time around town. Ah didn’t know you were the pony she was talkin’ about though.”
“That– that sounds fake,” I said, dismissing it. “And it doesn’t matter anyway because I’m not interested. The very first reason being because I’m an adult and she’s a child.”
“Huh? What does that mean?” the girl asked. "Yer a filly just like us."
“Let’s move off the subject please,” I said, feeling extremely uncomfortable. “Is the name ‘Talent Discovery Association’ okay?”
“Sure as hay it is! It’s great! And if we’re an association, that means we can make flyers and things! Ah’m sure my sister’ll help!”
“So then it’s all settled then! We’re the Talent Discovery Association!” The three of them put their hooves in the middle and looked at me expectantly to do the same.
“Come on, Asher!” Scootaloo said. “You’re in the association, too, since you came up with that whole name. You gotta put your hoof in the middle, too, and cheer with us.”
I sighed and did as requested, waiting for them to cheer. They didn’t though, all three of them looking at me with expressions that said they thought I was going to do something weird.
“What are we waiting for?” I asked. “You said you wanted me to cheer, right?”
“Are you gonna cheer?” Scootaloo asked. “You have to go from the top of your lungs, as loud as you can.”
“I don’t know if I can do all that, but–”
“Asher.” She frowned at me, giving me a serious expression I’d never seen from her, one I certainly didn’t expect from a ten year old. “We know you’ve been sad a lot and act kind of boring and are really supposed to be super old, but you’re our friend and we wanna see you cheer.”
“Yeah. You’re our best friend, even if you are a smelly colt,” Sweetie Belle chimed in. Apparently even as young as they were, they knew how to manipulate me, because their words got me to smile. I didn’t really like kids before, but I could say I at least liked these two.
“Are you gonna cheer, Asher?”
“Yeah, I’ll cheer,” I assured them. “I’ll cheer as loud as I can.”
“Good! On three then! One, two, three–”
“Talent Discovery Association go!”
We laughed at that, but I didn’t really join them when they proclaimed they were going to start discovering their special talents. I kept on working with the apples with Caramel, working most days for several hours a day. It was hard work, but I kept at it, benefiting from the distraction. As Applejack took my advice and raised her prices, she even paid me a little bit. It wasn’t much, but it was something.
Twilight wasn’t enthused about my helping Caramel with their work, but she didn’t talk about it much. She seemed not to care for me much at all, leaving me to my own devices for the most part. She did make a little comment about my cutie mark, saying it meant that I wasn’t a foal anymore, although she at least acknowledged that I was an adult either way when I mentioned it.
Other than that, my next few weeks were largely eventless, at least until I was given a ticket to some party in Canterlot by Twilight.
“It’s supposed to be the party of the year!” Twilight said excitedly, running around the library and making notes and seeing to it that everything was in order. “I wonder what kind of dress I should wear! Do you think Rarity would make one for me?”
“I don’t see why she wouldn’t, but do I have to go?” I asked. “I know Celestia’s gonna be there, but–”
“That's Princess Celestia, and yes. I already have three tickets, and she made it clear that one of them was for you. It’s a high end affair, too, so you might want to find a nice dress to wear, too.”
“Of course she did, and of course it is," I commented, rolling my eyes. "But I don’t think it’s something you need to make an entirely new checklist for.” Certainly not something I'd be wearing a dress for, no way.
“I absolutely have to! I want to make sure I’m prepared! We only have until next spring to prepare for it!”
“And if a year is a thousand days, I’m sure that means you actually have literally multiple years to worry about it.”
“Well if it’s the thirtieth day of summer today, that means we have less than eight hundred days to get ready! This is such short notice! Most ponies get their tickets years in advance, it's that great of an event!”
“Okay. So you have eight hundred days then to prepare. If you're really concerned, you can do one thing to prepare once a week, and still have over a hundred weeks to get ready. You need to calm down.”
“You’re right. You’re right. I won’t be able to think clearly if I’m not calm, and with so much to do, I have to have my head clear. Oh, but who should I take? I have a whole lot of new friends now!”
“Just listen to all of them and take the one who has the best reason. Or whoever you like the most. It’s not something you have to stress about.”
“But what if the others hate me for taking one pony over another? I mean, I'm sure Lightning Dust feels too cool for a party like this, and Big Mac probably wouldn't want to go–”
"He doesn't because I'm helping his sister with their budgeting issues so they don't have to go," I brought up. "They really convinced themselves that they'd make money selling apples at a place that apparently has free food."
"But Pinkie Pie loves parties, and there's no way Rarity would want to miss a high class event in Canterlot like this! And who knows Fluttershy's thinking? That's potentially two ponies mad at me! One at least!"
“Why would they be mad at you?” I had to ask. It seemed Twilight had the potential to spiral when left with a decision, something Celestia should have known about if she was her student. I wondered if she did this on purpose.
“If they’re your friends, they won’t mind,” I said slowly, trying to bring her down from her near panic. “If you’re worried about it, just take Spike and say it’s because you’ve known him the longest.”
“Do you think that’ll work?” she asked breathlessly. “Spike, would you go with me?”
“No way! I don’t wanna…” He saw the pleading look Twilight was giving him, as well as the look I sent his way asking him to just say yes and changed his tune.
“Well, I mean, I guess I will, but only because you’re my friend and I don’t want you to freak out. It’s not because I like any of that froo-froo girly nonsense.”
“Thank you, Spike,” the unicorn said gratefully. “I appreciate it.”
“I can’t say I’ll enjoy it either, but since I have to go…”
“I thought you’d want to go anyway, Asher,” the librarian told me, changing her expression back to a calm one in a second. “You said you wanted to be a politician, right? Well, this would be your chance to make an impression on all of the nobles there. I heard Celestia’s nephew, Prince Blueblood, goes every year. You could try and talk to him and work your way in if that’s what you want.”
“Hmm… there’s a thought… so long as they aren’t looking at me like I’m a little girl. It’s gonna be hard to make any sort of impression in that case.”
“Well you’ve already made an impression in Ponyville, according to Filthy Rich.”
“What? I have?” I was surprised by that news. I tried to wrack my brain for what I could’ve done that got someone’s attention already. So far all I’d been doing was being sick, fighting with Celesita, and largely nothing else.
“How did I make an impression on somepony? I mean, someone?”
“Apparently Filthy Rich wasn’t very happy about apple prices being raised, and so went to the Apple Family farm to see what was up. And then Applejack told him about you and how you convinced her to raise her prices. That’s what Mayor Mare told me when I was having brunch with her a few days ago anyway.”
“Well that’s certainly interesting, but I don’t see how that gets me any sort of recognition since everyone is probably not that happy about raised prices.”
“Well I know he has a business selling apples to ponies in Canterlot, and he talks to a lot of them often. But either way, he said he’d like to meet you from what Mayor Mare told me. I gave her the go ahead to tell him that he can come by any time.”
Yes! That was such a good thing to hear! I didn’t mean to create an in this quickly, but now that I potentially had one, I would absolutely be using it to my advantage. I had to smile at the thought of that.
“Seems like somepony’s excited,” Twilight commented, giving a little smile of her own. “I guess you really want to meet this pony.”
“Absolutely! This is so perfect!” I didn’t know how it would go, but I could only assume if someone was interested in me despite the age I looked like I was, it was only so they could get me on a path to be a politician. I could probably guess what the conversation was going to be about, and it made me smile wider at the thought of it. I’d be working my way up extremely quickly.
I was sure Celestia would love hearing about this once she got word of it.
It was another month before the pony named ‘Filthy Rich’ came over. I know it was a month because Twilight kept a calendar of the year on the wall in her room. Not a month by month calendar though, a seasons calendar, one that was a giant poster on her bedroom wall. She explained that the Summer Sun Celebration was on the first day of summer, and that it was the sixty fifth day of summer right now.
I asked her a little bit about it, and she continued on that each season wasn’t broken up into equal two hundred and fifty day long seasons. Instead, summer was four hundred days long, autumn two hundred days, winter one hundred days, and spring three hundred days. That meant school wouldn’t resume for a good eleven months in Earth time. Great. I did learn that apparently my birthday would be on the two hundred and eightieth day of spring because of the one thousand day years.
During the time I waited for Filthy Rich to talk to me, I continued to help Applejack, and with the money she gave me, tried to spice up my life. I bought a journal to record my thoughts in, and a couple of other books, too. One on economics, and some fantasy books I could read. I noticed a lack of fiction in her library, which I thought was a curious choice. I didn’t question it though. She had her weird preferences.
I mostly saved up money from there, and even though I suffered a bit from lack of entertainment, it wasn’t that bad. I’d been crying a lot less, and my dysphoria seemed like it was on a downtrend, thankfully enough. It was a good thing to notice, although there was still one day where I felt it suddenly spike up.
I don’t know how, but waking up one morning, I just felt completely awful, my thoughts filled with the fact that I’d probably never be a man again. I certainly wouldn’t be seeing my friends or family again. Not to mention, I was a kid right now, so when I grew up, I’d have to go through puberty and deal with all that entailed. It was a thought that made me tear up for the first time in a few weeks as I lay in bed.
“Lord, please, I ask that you help me move past this dysphoria,” I prayed. “I thank you for all that you’ve done to help ease this feeling, and for giving me the opportunity to focus on working and doing my best to help other ponies, but–”
“Asher! It’s past time to get up! It’s almost ten thirty!” Twilight called, surprising me by how late it was. I didn’t think so much time had passed, but I wiped my eyes and tried to gather myself as I headed downstairs.
“How were you asleep so late?” she asked me, barely glancing at me. “Filthy Rich is gonna be here soon! Remember how I told you he would be here?”
“I do remember,” I replied tiredly, “but you never told me what day, so I didn’t know.”
“Well why were you in bed so long?” she asked, walking around and making sure every book was in its proper place, as if ponies actually came here. “You’re normally good about being up early.”
“I’m just not feeling great mentally. Dysphoria.”
“Oh, the girl thing? You’re really still on about that?” she asked, turning around to look me in the eye for a second before going back to work.
“Yeah, I’m really still on about that,” I said grumpily. “I’m just kind of getting depressed because of it, and doing the same things over and over again. Working is nice, but entertainment would be nice, too.”
And seeing my friends and family, but I knew that wouldn’t be happening any time soon. It wasn’t something I tried to dwell on, but in combination with dysphoria, I felt downright miserable right then. I knew before though that it was something that could sneak up on you. I learned that in my first two weeks here. But I thought I was getting a handle on it.
“Dysphoria? Oh, you mean the feeling bad about being a filly? I didn’t know you were still doing the ‘pretending to be a colt thing’.”
“I’m not pretending anything, and you’re really not helping,” I told her, feeling my eyes get a little wet. One day I was going to get used to having a childlike ability to hold back tears, but for now, I was still not up to standard.
“Well, if you’re really upset about that, maybe you should just try embracing the positive aspects of your body,” Twilight tried to tell me. “I mean, sure you’re an earth pony, but you’re probably the prettiest filly I’ve seen. You’ve even got Sweetie Belle beat on the cuteness factor, and that’s a hard task to accomplish.”
“Ugh, I know that! I’ve already been thinking that’s what I need to do! But it’s impossible to do when there’s nothing positive about my body!” I closed my eyes and took a breath as the tears ran down, trying very hard to contain myself. If some business pony was about to show up to talk to me, I didn’t want to be a crying mess when they walked in.
“It’s just hard to appreciate a body that I hate,” I said, taking a breath to calm back down, feeling kind of out of breath by just that little outburst. “I used to be a human man, and now I’m a pony girl. Nothing about this mess of a thing is right, and I know I need to work past that and accept that this is the way it is now.”
“There’s no way I’m a girl. I cannot possibly work through this… is this really what God wants me to do?” I was teetering, and every day I felt like I was closer to just sucking it up and dealing with it, as painful as it would be.
“Try embracing femininity?” Twilight suggested, as though she was an expert on the subject. “I did a little reading when you told me about this, and the number one thing the book said to do to get over body issues was have a positive outlook on your body. So maybe you should try to embrace whatever elements make you uncomfortable.”
“Ugh. Whatever. This is a dumb conversation. When is that guy supposed to be here anyway?”
“I think he’s supposed to be–”
Just as she was saying it, a pony stepped into the library, looking around for a moment before their eyes fell on me. It was an older looking man– a stallion– with a slicked back black mane cut kind of like mine, as well as a tannish brown coat and blue eyes. He had pictures of moneybags on his butt, and a tie with a dollar sign on it. It was just about what I was expecting for a pony named ‘Filthy Rich’, and almost reminded me of someone like Donald Trump if he was a pony.
“I assume you’re the filly of the hour I should be speaking to?” he asked, bending down to get closer to me. “You’re younger than I was expecting. You can’t be more than eight.”
“Something like that,” I said dismissively. “I heard you wanted to talk to me about the Apple Family farm?”
“Sure did. Do ya mind if we take a seat, missy?”
I shrugged and said, “Okay. But for the record, I’m not a missy. I want to make that clear.” I took a breath and closed my eyes as I spoke, trying to contain dysphoria. I wondered if there was a way I could sound more masculine.
“Ah, of course. How rude of me. I’ll keep that in mind,” he said politely, before going silent, nonverbally directing me to sit down. He took a seat in front of me as he started to speak.
“Now, I have a problem here… what was the name again?”
“Asher. And what exactly is your problem?”
I wanted to be confident, and do my best to control the conversation. If this was my ticket into being a politician like I thought it was, I wanted to make the most of this opportunity. Portraying confidence and intelligence were my main goals here.
“It’s the matter of you asking Applejack to raise her prices,” he said. He wasn’t aggressive, and in fact spoke in a sort of ‘laid back’ tone. It was the kind of conversation that could’ve happened in a rocking chair I imagined.
“Now, I’m a hard working stallion, and I like to get my apples for a fair price, so having little fillies run around and give advice that hurts my business isn’t my prerogative, if you get my drift. Do ya understand?”
“Sure, I understand,” I replied, “but I’d also like to see Applejack making money as well. Did you see the state of her barn? It was in disrepair before, and I think she could be making more money without giving what’s effectively free apples.”
“But ya do understand that it’s coming back to the consumer, right?” he asked. “How bad will ya feel if we all stop buyin’ her apples because prices have gone up?”
“Have you stopped buying her apples?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. Not in the form of a genuine question. I already knew what the answer was, and it was no. I went through all of this with her when we decided on the prices she should set. I mostly just wanted to refute his logic that she should bring prices down again.
He furrowed his brow for a second, and then sent a little smirk my way. “Quite the smart filly you are, ya know that? Where’d ya go to school at?”
“It’s a school in Philadelphia,” I replied, remembering reading a map of Equestria at some point. A lot of places here were just puns of places that already existed. I didn’t actually go to school in Philadelphia before though. I went to the University of Delaware, but that was a moot point.
“Ya learned about business there?” he asked. “I’ll have to see if anypony there can help run my business. Ponies in Canterlot might act all fancy, but they don’t know squat about running things right.”
I couldn’t help but smile. This was going exactly as I wanted it to. Somehow I’d gone from not even thinking about politics to the potential of being a politician in two months. Obviously I wouldn’t be doing anything at my current size, but it was a big step in the right direction.
“I have to say though, ya have a mighty fine intuition for these sorts of things, that I can tell just talking to ya. Although you should know I don’t really take kindly to ponies hurting my business. Ya understand what I’m saying, right? Last I heard the Apples were gonna be making up money at the end of the year during the Grand Galloping Gala.”
“An event that has free food will not make them any money,” I replied, something he almost certainly full well knew. “Not to mention, if you’re a business man, then you should be buying in bulk and not paying as high of prices as everyone else, plus you can upcharge your customers for a premium apple. In fact, I can help you figure out what the right price would be if you want.”
He smiled again, even wider now. “Well aren’t you some filly. Putting in work. But in all honesty, missy–”
“Please don’t call me missy,” I interrupted, the word cutting through more than it normally did. “I really, really would rather not be called missy, thank you.”
“Sorry, little girl,” he replied, making me scrunch my face. This was absolutely killing me. I wanted to pull my hair because of how bad it made me feel to hear. This was absolutely something I’d need to work past.
“Now as I was saying, I’d really appreciate it if ya wouldn’t tell my suppliers to raise their prices again. I know ya probably think you have some sort of noble goal doing this, but–”
“What noble goal do I have?” I asked, completely confused. “Businesses can raise their prices. It’s not because she needs to fix her barn; I can help with that if that’s the case. It’s the fact that her business model was just flat out bad . Her pricing was bad , and I can’t sit around to look at something like that.”
“Well someponies have a business that relies on low prices being shared to customers, so I’d appreciate it if ya wouldn’t go interfering with that, even if you didn’t know. Better yet, I’d like ya to convince her to drop those prices back down. I figure since you went through the trouble of raising them, you can go through the trouble of fixing them.”
“Um, why?”
“Because it’s hurting my business! Less profits now than I had before, because you went and stuck your nose in places it shouldn’t be.”
All of a sudden, he was sounding aggressive and angry. This conversation was going all wrong, and I suddenly found myself in a position to defend myself. I somehow expected him to be happy and see something good in my doing this. I guess I was just naïve, like everyone else.
“Well if your business relies on your supplier living in a run down house for it to work because they keep prices so cheap, then it was going to fail regardless, I think. It wasn’t even that big of an increase, only about eight percent, so if you’re already marking up your prices, as you should be since you’re buying in bulk–”
“No, don’t speak to me about marking up prices! I’m not interested in marking up prices! I’m interested in keeping customers I’ve had for years because my prices have been set for years! They’re not gonna appreciate a markup, which means I either lose customers or lose profit!”
“So then do you not adjust prices according to inflation?” I asked. “You can put them up as much as ponies are willing to pay. If you lose a few customers but the customers you keep can make up for that–”
“I’m telling ya, filly, I really don’t wanna hear all that, and your lucky I don’t make a bigger deal about this than I was going to. You need to talk to the Apples and get those prices fixed now .”
“Well then we can talk about it and adjust things, like raising prices at the bottom and keeping in bulk prices the same,” I started, now getting frustrated and a bit upset myself. “But please don’t come talk to me only to send vague threats my way. I’m treating you with respect, and I’d like the same given back to me.”
“You’re not treating me with respect when ya go sticking your nose in places it doesn’t belong, missy , so kindly stay out of things you don’t know the full story about. I don’t need an eight year old girl wrecking my profits.”
“I’m an adult,” I said, making sure to look him in the eyes as I said it. He gave a little stutter step backward from the move as I said, “I’m an adult man, and I’m telling you, I’ve already had a lifetime of being treated like I’m not in the last three months. I’m way past fed up dealing with it. It's not as big of a deal as you're making it out to be.” It was hard enough to be silent with the little comments Twilight liked to make throughout the day. If he was going to emphasize the use of the word missy, I was not going to be happy.
“This is ridiculous,” he muttered after he stared back for a second in surprise. “I don’t know why I’m talking to ya at all. I’ll go to AJ myself and get everything straight. But I’m warning you. Don’t go messing around with the prices of the things I buy again. You will be hearing from me if ya do.” He stomped out of the library with the words.
Yup, that went pretty badly.
Equestrian Greed/Equestrian Kindness
“Wow, he really laid into you,” Twilight commented casually as the pony left. “I guess going into business isn’t all it seems. But I told you that already, didn’t I?”
“If you’re just going to mock me, then I really don’t want to hear it please,” I said as I put my head on the table I was still at. “Eight percent isn’t even that much, and yet he was treating it like it was the end of the world.”
“Maybe businesses in Equestria aren’t the same as ones on Earth, since you’re from there. I mean, you don’t really act like any pony I’ve ever met, so it would make sense if the economics were different, too.”
“Economics shouldn’t change from place to place! What makes sense on Earth should make sense anywhere else you can open a business at!”
Unless the ponies themselves were different like she said. Heck, Celestia herself said I didn’t act like anypony she’d ever met. There was a certain sense of ‘happy-go-luckiness’ about these people, a sort of naivety. They didn’t pick up on things that would’ve been obvious to any twelve year old who came here. I wondered if that affected their business strategies and how businesses liked to compete with one another. It would explain why a store named ‘Quills And Sofas’ could exist selling only those two things. Because ponies were too naïve to compete with one another to expand business.
There was a way to use this to my advantage, I knew that, but I couldn’t think of what it was. Were ponies just not greedy? No, they had to have some sort of greed, otherwise they wouldn’t have opened businesses, right? Right.
Maybe. Maybe they didn’t. If you had a cutie mark to tell you exactly what your station in life was, was there any reason to question something like that? If you just did what was on your butt, everything would work out in this world, apparently. Why was there a reason to be greedy if everything was predestined to work out?
If ponies weren’t greedy, I could probably throw out opening a business. There had to be some sort of greed for any sort of American style economic system to work out, otherwise you’d just end up like Applejack in a run down barn and not questioning it because the picture on your butt tells you that this is good at. Without some level of greed, it’d be much harder to worm my way into politics. I had to see if ponies were greedy.
“Where are you going now, Asher?” Twilight suddenly asked as I got up and ran outside. I didn’t reply, looking around for Filthy Rich to catch up to him before he got to the Apple Family orchard.
“Mr. Rich!” I called, running after him. He turned around and had the good grace to stop for me, but I was still huffing and puffing by the time I caught up to him. That was another thing to put on the list of things to do. Working out.
“I can help you make way more money than you do already,” I said breathlessly. “Without losing any customers, too. I can help you.”
“Oh?” he asked, raising an eyebrow curiously. “Can ya now, little filly?”
“Please don’t call me… a filly,” I asked. “But yes, I can, if I… gosh, I need to work out.”
“I’m not sure ya know as much as ya think you do, little girl,” he said as I laid down on my back in the grass to catch my breath. “This isn’t little foals’ business. Ya might think you’re grown because you have a cutie mark for money, but you’ve got a lot to learn.”
“If you just… give me a chance…” Was I an asthmatic? Or was I getting sick with something again? I could not run for anything , and felt like I was struggling for breath.
“Asher?” a voice I recognized called out to me. “What are you doing out here talking to Daddy?” Diamond Tiara asked. I didn’t know how she found me, but it might have been a good thing. She was my friend and could probably vouch for me.
“You’re not gonna pass out, are you?” she asked. “You look like you want to roll over and fall asleep. Are you sick again?”
“I’m fine,” I said breathlessly as I sat up. I might have been dealing with more than just dysphoria today. It would explain why I woke up feeling bad. Not to mention, being sick did make me more emotional.
“I was just… talking to your dad about helping him with his business.”
“And I was just telling your friend that I was perfectly fine managing my business without the help of little fillies who already hurt it once before.”
I cringed at that word. He was still doing it, without any regard for what I told him already.
“She’s gonna help you, daddy?” Diamond asked. “Cause she’s, like, the smartest filly I know. She’s the pony I was telling you that Silver Spoon likes. She’s even smarter than her.”
“Oh, I’m sure she is, pumpkin,” Filthy Rich replied, sweetness in his voice. “But your friend already messed things up by talking to Miss Applejack about raising her prices. You know high prices are bad for daddy’s business, sugar.”
“Yeah, but she totally helped Applejack rebuild her barn with the extra money she’s getting! She didn’t mean to mess up things for you, and I’m sure she could fix it. She’s that smart.”
“Lord, please take this dysphoria away,” I prayed. “I’m gonna ball up and cry if they keep calling me a girl today.” It was nice that Diamond was vouching for me like I needed her to, but it was going to absolutely kill me to keep hearing, especially if I was getting sick again.
“Pleeeease, daddy?” Diamond asked, blinking her eyes in a puppy dog expression. “She told me before she wants to own a business! She can help, and if she messes up, you can teach her what to do! She got her cutie mark while she was helping Applejack! Please?”
“Mmmm… darling, I… well… I don’t see why not, but only if she knows what she’s doing. Sure, sugar.”
“Yay! That means you, Silver Spoon and I can finally have that sleepover!”
“That sounds like fun,” I said flatly, still somehow trying to get my breath again. “Thanks Diamond, you’re wonderful. But maybe not tonight for a sleepover?”
“Of course, not tonight, Asher! I mean, if you’re sick again, I don’t wanna get sick, do I? But soon! Oh, this is so exciting.”
“I’m sure it is, sweetheart,” Filthy Rich smiled politely as he eyed me. “Now run along, pumpkin, so I can talk to your friend alone for a minute.”
“Okay, daddy!” She gave a quick hug with that, leaving the stallion and I alone, Filthy Rich brooding over me as he looked down at me with disdain.
“I guess ya can consider yourself lucky to be friends with my daughter, little filly,” he told me aggressively, apparently not caring about his tone when he talked to me. It was both annoying and relieving not to be patronized, but I once again shivered when he used the phrase ‘little filly’.
“Please don’t–”
“No, I’m talking now, missy,” he said. I was about five more ‘missies’ away from crying as he said, “I know ya think you might know it all, but entering this business isn’t as easy as getting a cutie mark and being on your way. I’m gonna be watching you very carefully to make sure you aren’t out to try and ruin me. I don’t take kindly to ponies messing with the money I make, even if they are little fillies like you, missy.”
Yup, there was greed. The exact greed I asked for. I guess I should’ve expected this, but somehow, I thought things would be approached more professionally and he would have respect for someone being viewed as young helping out Applejack.
“I will be watching you closely,” he finished. “Don’t go messing with the prices of my goods again.” He walked off casually with that, waving at ponies he passed by as if he didn’t just chew me out. Yup. Once again, that went poorly. I didn’t think he’d be inviting me to Canterlot anytime soon, or chatting me up to anyone.
“Lord, I…” I didn’t know what to say. I was on the verge of tears from dysphoria. Why couldn’t he just take the hint and stop calling me a girl? It felt almost malicious on his part, and I found myself sniffling because of it. Not that I was surprised. In fact, my emotionalness only served to make me feel worse.
I got up to head back to the library after a few minutes, but as soon as I did, I broke out into a fit of coughing. Yup, I was sick. Again. Apparently the fifty vaccines they gave me when I had diphtheria didn’t work. What it was this time, I didn’t know, but it got the tears to run down my cheeks now.
“I’m fine,” I said aloud to myself, staying upright lest I fall and not get back up. “I’m fine. I’m gonna help Filthy Rich even though he hates me, and then be a politician even though Celestia hates me, and then get over being a girl and a pony even though I hate my body severely, and then…”
I missed my family. Right then, it was hitting particularly hard. I missed going to work every day at my job and studying for college and going to church every Sunday and my parents teasing me about who I was and my views and everything. I missed it all. I missed it, and I was never going to get those things back. I was stuck here for the rest of my life. I was gonna grow up to be an old woman because God willed it and there was nothing I could do about it but deal with it. I hated this all so much .
“Asher?” Diamond Tiara asked, suddenly appearing next to me again. She was with the three other girls I called my friends, all four of them looking at me with concern in their eyes.
“And all of my friends are ten year old girls. This is so stupid!”
No, don’t think like that. I couldn’t think like that. It wasn’t their fault that I was hurting. In fact, they probably only wanted to help me, especially given their sad looks.
“You haven’t cried in, like, three weeks,” Scootaloo said. “What’s wrong?”
“The same dumb thing as always,” I said bitterly, flopping back down into the grass on my stomach and coughing some because of it. “I miss being at home. I miss my life. I don’t hate being here, but I hate that I have to live here forever in this body. I just miss home.”
“Awwww…” All four of them flopped down next to me, pressing into me and wrapping their hooves around me. I wasn’t a comfort-through-hugs kind of guy, but I appreciated the sentiment of what they were trying to do. It made me feel a little better at least.
“We can try and make Ponyville like Earth if you want,” Scootaloo suggested. “That could be a fun thing to do.”
“Yeah!” Sweetie Belle agreed. “And we can do things humans do, if you want! You said there was a thing called ‘Independence Day’ where you’re from before where they put lights in the sky! We can have a holiday like that here!”
“Thanks, guys, but no,” I responded. “I appreciate the thought, but it wouldn’t be the same without the context of history.” I sighed and continued, “It’s more than just that anyway. Ponies just don’t act the same as humans do. I don’t know what about you guys is different, but it’s something, and you can’t replicate that.”
“Well, how can we make you feel better?” Silver Spoon asked, sounding the most sad of the bunch somehow.
“I don’t think there’s anything you can do,” I said, “but that’s okay. It’s not your fault that I…”
I started to cry at the thought that I finished in my head. It was probably me being sick that was messing with my emotions, but it felt like God sent me here and then abandoned me. I couldn’t shake the feeling, and it was one that made me cry, genuinely cry, for the first time. I cried a lot here, but it didn’t ever feel as genuinely sad as this felt now.
“I’d rather just lay down and be alone for a while, if that’s okay.”
“Well we’ll let you lay down, but we’re not gonna leave you alone, Asher,” one of them said. “That’s not what friends do.”
“Yeah, we’re here for you, even when you’re sad and upset, just like you’d be there for us.”
That made me smile a little bit as I cried. Of course, God didn’t abandon me, even if I felt like that. The proof I had in that was the four kind girls he allowed me to meet and become friends with. They were so genuinely nice, something that I absolutely appreciated about ponies. Unlike humans, most of them were not only genuinely nice, but went out of their way to help someone in need from what I saw.
“Thank you guys. You’re all amazing. But I don’t think you’ll want to be around me since I’m pretty sure I’m getting sick again.”
“If you’re getting sick, then we’re gonna get sick, too,” Silver Spoon said, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle agreeing as Diamond Tiara reluctantly nodded her head. “Like they said, that’s what friends are for.”
“Now cuddle pile on Asher, everypony!” Sweetie Belle cheered, and I flinched as they all geared up to force their weight on top of me.
“Don’t jump though. Please don’t jump.” They listened to what I said, instead moving to carefully lay on top of me as I fell back to sleep in the sun.
“Back already, Asher?” the librarian asked as I entered, still trying to catch my breath. “You went out to see Filthy Rich again, didn’t you? How’d that go?”
“Just as stupidly as you would think,” I said, flopping into a chair. “He kept saying the same thing about me being a little girl after I told him it bothered me, like he was trying to make me upset. And that was after I told him I could help him with his business.”
“Well, you can’t expect him to call you a colt when you’re not one, right?” Twilight said, making me roll my eyes. Of course, she still didn’t get it. Why did I even try?
“Yeah,” I said sarcastically, not bothering to explain it again when I had before. “Honestly, I kind of just want to go around and… actually, forget it. It doesn’t matter.”
“What?”
“Nothing. I’m going back to bed for a while.”
I wanted to say that I was considering just being petty and going around to find out what businesses he bought from to see if I could raise all of their prices, too, but I couldn’t say something like that to Twilight. If I did, it might get back to Filthy Rich and then he’d be all up on my flank again. It would definitely get back to Celestia, and I had a feeling she wouldn’t take kindly to hearing that. Nope, I had to keep it all internalized, just like I did everything else.
I flopped back into bed and fell asleep, waking up in the early evening to sunlight shining in my eyes. My head hurt, my body ached, I felt chilly– I was full blown sick. Again. What fun.
“How is this still an issue?” I wondered to myself as I closed my eyes again and breathed slowly. “I got every vaccination in the book. Unless this is just the flu… I hate this so much. Lord please let me get better… and please let me know that you haven’t abandoned me.”
“Asher! A bunch of ponies are here to see you!” Twilight called loudly, making my head pound painfully. “Should I let them go up or are you gonna come down?”
I knew who it was, and I didn’t know if I was in the mood for them right now. “Tell them I’m sick,” I tried to call, the words coming out kind of quietly.
“I’ll let them go up,” Twilight said, completely ignoring me. A second later, five fillies I knew were entering my room, taking one look at me and frowning in disappointment.
“Awww, we wanted to look for cutie marks,” Sweetie Belle complained, seeing how obviously sick I was.
“We told Diamond and Silver Spoon about our Talent Discovery Association when Apple Bloom stopped by, and we’ve been trying to think of what to do for talent hunting, when we decided we would go night hunting!”
“Night hunting?” I asked as I lay in bed, the other four looking me over as Scootaloo stood there with a proud smile on her face. “What on earth is that?”
“We go out into the Everfree Forest and hunt for monsters and try to kill them! And then we’ll get night hunting cutie marks! Button Mash was telling Sweetie Belle about it before.”
“That doesn’t sound like much of a talent,” I said, “and even if it was, I’m way too sick to be able to do anything like that. Honestly you guys shouldn’t even be around me. I’m gonna get you all sick.”
“We told you before Asher,” Sweetie Belle said. “If you’re sick, then we’re gonna have to get sick, too. Now come on!”
“I really don't even want to get out of bed,” I told her. “My whole body hurts. I’m not gonna be walking places anytime soon.” I let out a painful breath as I asked, “Isn’t there something you guys can do here? Something quiet, preferably? And that won’t get us covered in tree sap like that one time?”
“No! We wanna do this tonight! And we want everypony there, too, because the Everfree Forest is supposed to be super scary and filled with dangerous things!”
“Yeah, that sounds like a hard no from me,” I said. “I’ll pass. And I wouldn’t go out either, you guys. Isn’t that place supposed to be, like, dangerous?” I didn’t know much about it, but I did remember hearing a few times in passing that it wasn’t a place people should go.
“Yeah, it is!” Apple Bloom said excitedly. “That’s why we’re gonna go! And once we come back, we’ll know our special talent is night huntin’!”
“That sounds very dangerous, and I’m advising you all don’t do that,” I said, not really putting up much of an argument as I lay there, feeling the blood in my head pound. “That should be at the bottom of your list. There’s a hundred other things you can do.” Except stay there in the room with me, because I was for sure going to get them sick, and then Filthy Rich and a bunch of other parents would be mad at me. And maybe Celestia, too. Man, it was annoying to have to think about how every little thing I did or did not do affected her mood.
“Seriously, please don’t do that,” I told them. “It’s an awful idea and you definitely shouldn’t.”
“Fiiiine,” Scootaloo complained, rolling her eyes. “We won’t, Asher. I guess we’ll just find something better to do. Come on guys.”
All of them left, all except Silver Spoon, who stayed in the room. She looked me in the eyes, and then looked down at her hooves multiple times, seeming nervous or anxious about something. I was almost certain I knew what was coming– I could see it from a mile away– and the thought of it made me groan.
“Hey, um, I know you’re sick, but I was wondering something,” she started carefully. “Um, can I spend the night with you? Like, a sleepover? And I can take care of you if you’re sick.”
My inclination was to say no, but I didn’t. I did choose my words carefully, making sure to convey exactly what I was expecting.
“You can stay over if Twilight lets you and you're okay with maybe getting sick,” I said, “but I want to make it clear now that I’m not interested in you romantically.” She blushed and looked away, and I continued, “A lot of ponies have told me that you liked me, and I wanna say right now that I don’t look at you like that.”
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “You probably heard me telling other ponies that I like you. I just think you’re cute and smart and interesting. Plus, you got Diamond to stop hating Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.”
That made me extremely uncomfortable to hear. I didn’t like the idea that I was making girls like me, or anyone for that matter, and had to force my face not to go red at the thought of it.
“We’ve already established that you need to be respectful. You’re not influencing anyone into being gay or trans or whatever else. If that’s how they end up, that’s how they end up, and you need to be respectful about it and not think unkind things. If other ponies want to be that way, then that's okay. Besides, it’s not like you’re not… ugh.”
“I’m sorry,” she said again, probably reading the expression on my face. “I didn’t mean to make you feel worse.”
“It’s not that,” I said quickly, wiping whatever look I had off my face. “I’m just thinking about stuff. It’s nothing.”
“When are you going to… actually, no. I’m not gonna think that. I’m gonna push that thought down and ignore it.”
“But yeah, you can stay the night if you wanna. It’s gonna be pretty boring though, since I’m sick. I’m just going to be going back to sleep, honestly.”
“That’s okay,” she said. “I’ll grab a book to read and come back, okay?”
She left and went to do exactly that, climbing back in bed and pressing up against me, pushing her coat into mine. I had to roll my eyes in annoyance at the move. I should’ve just told her no to a sleepover instead of giving her the opportunity to get more attached to me.
I decided to push the problem away for later though, quickly falling asleep, my sick body not wanting to do anything else.
I practically jumped out of my skin when I was awoken by yelling downstairs. Silver Spoon was stirred by it, and made a grumble of annoyance, one that hurt my ears as a result of my already pounding head. The yelling didn’t let up though, and in fact, seemed to be growing more in intensity. I wondered what was going on.
It sounded angry, although my sick and tired mind couldn’t really piece together what was being said. It took a minute and a half of whoever was down there screaming at Twilight before I realized it was Filthy Rich. I looked out my window, seeing a dark sky and the moon hanging high in the center of it. What was he doing here so early? Or maybe so late?
It was not a good sign when I heard him marching up the stairs, getting probably halfway up when he was stopped. His yelling was closer now, and making my ears hurt more. I was worried about how bad it would get when he came into the room, and really hoped Twilight could talk him out of whatever was going on. I had a feeling it was something about me, because it always was, it seemed.
“Is Diamond Tiara’s dad here?” Silver Spoon asked groggily. “What’s he doing here? What’s going on?”
“I don’t know. This can’t be about prices again, unless he thinks I was raising prices again? I wasn’t.”
“I can hear her in there!” Filthy Rich suddenly said, barreling up the stairs and slamming the door open. I had to cover my ears as he yelled, “You! Is this your way of getting back at me for telling you off this morning? I’ll make sure Princess Celestia has your head for this!”
She wasn’t going to be able to have my head, because he was already taking it. His screaming was making my ears hurt . I wasn’t going to be able to take much of him screaming at me like this, and didn’t know what I would do if he kept on going.
“Have my head for what?” I asked. “Please don’t scream at me. I’m already sick, and–”
“No, I’m going to scream!” he yelled. “Don’t think I don’t know that it was you who convinced my daughter and her friends to head into the Everfree Forest!”
“Why would I do that?” I asked as I closed my eyes, whispering to try and bring his voice down. His yelling was killing me.
“I didn’t do anything like that,” I said. “Actually, I think I told them–”
“Save it! I’m not an idiot like you seem to think I am! I’ll make sure you get whatever punishment I can find for you for doing this to my daughter! It’s despicable!”
“I didn’t do that…” I kept my eyes firmly shut, my head pounding. This felt almost like an unreal situation.
“He really didn’t do that,” Silver Spoon vouched for me. “Asher actually told them not to go there, and they said they wouldn’t, Mr. Rich! You gotta believe him!”
“To Tartarus, she didn’t!” he screamed. I flinched reflexively as he did, on the edge of crying again, it hurt so bad .
“I know she did because I told her off about raising them prices over at Sweet Apple Acres!” he yelled. “If you think Mayor Mare or somepony in charge won’t hear about this, you can bet they will!”
“I didn’t do anything though,” I whispered, the wetness already starting to form. “Just ask them and they’ll tell you. Please stop yelling now.”
“He’s not lying, Mr. Rich,” Silver Spoon tried to say again. “Asher never lies! He really did tell them not to go! I was here when he did! I saw him!”
“I know she is, and if you keep telling lies, I’ll make sure your parents know you’re in on it, too, little missy!” he yelled. “Now where’s Mayor Mare? I want to make sure this gets brought to her attention right now . I’ll wake up the whole town if I have to!”
He marched off with that, leaving Silver Spoon and I alone with Twilight staring at us, blinking in confusion at what happened. The filly next to me sniffled a little bit as Twilight opened her mouth to speak, then stopped and shook her head, closing her eyes in annoyance.
“I know you didn’t do that, Asher,” she said after a long minute. “Well, I mean, I can’t know , but I–”
“He didn’t!” Silver Spoon said tearfully. “I promise, he didn’t! Everypony said they weren’t going to do that before they left! I don’t know why Mr. Rich thinks he did!”
“It’s fine, Silver,” I told her. “It’s just another thing to deal with in a long, long list of things.” I sniffled too as I continued, “And I know it’s gonna get back to Celestia and she’s gonna be up my butt about it and think I’m doing things on purpose, which was exactly why I told them not to…”
“I’ll talk to Princess Celestia if she says anything,” the librarian assured me. “I am her student after all, and she trusts me when I say something. I won’t let you get in trouble for something you didn’t do.”
“...thank you,” I told her. “Really, thank you. I appreciate it. I really just want to go back to sleep for now though… I can’t believe all this mess started over me wanting to help Apple Jack fix her barn.”
“It’s okay, Asher,” she said again. “I’ll talk to ponies. Everything’s going to be fine.”
“Okay. I trust you. Thanks.” I yawned and wiped my eyes before drifting back off to sleep. I had a feeling this wasn’t going to end well for one of us. Who it wasn’t going to end well for, I didn’t know.
I wasn’t able to get much sleep, only a few more hours before Silver Spoon and I both woke up. She looked around tiredly before hopping up and out of bed, turning to me as she started to speak.
“Did all of that really happen last night?”
“Unfortunately,” I answered sickly. “All of today might really happen, too. I know Filthy Rich is angry, and Celestia is gonna be, too.”
“Do you think Mr. Rich is gonna go all the way to Canterlot to tell Princess Celestia about you?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised, since he hates my guts. Ugh, this is just a whole mess. One thing right after the other.”
“She won’t be mad, Asher. You don’t have to be afraid. Princess Celestia is as nice as can be. I got to see her once when my daddy went to Canterlot. She would never be mad at anypony.”
Yeah, right. I only sighed, not explaining how I knew better than that. Instead, I yawned and wiped my sick eyes, heading downstairs to see Twilight and the mayor speaking to each other. I hung back from the conversation, but the latter beckoned me to join them, giving a kind smile and a wave of her hoof to call me over.
“Are they okay?” I asked. “Scootaloo and them? They’re not hurt, are they?”
“They are, but it’s not life threatening. A few broken bones and bruises are what Nurse Redheart reports. But it could’ve been a lot worse had somepony not heard their cries for help. The way I hear it, Apple Jack was up late working on fixing up her barn when she heard them, and rushed in to save them. It was quite lucky.”
I flinched as I heard it, but also simultaneously breathed a sigh of relief. At least it wasn’t life threatening. However, I had a feeling that Celestia would hold me responsible for four girls breaking bones. Not to mention, hearing that my friends were hurt just plain made me feel bad.
“You wouldn’t have happened to put the idea of going into the Everfree Forest in their heads, would you?” she asked. It was a question I already knew was coming.
“Not only did I not put the idea into their heads, I explicitly told them not to go in there. Silver Spoon can tell you that I didn’t. And so can the rest of them.”
“Really? That’s interesting, because the way I heard it, they came across it because of a club you formed about finding cutie marks hunting monsters. Does that ring a bell?”
“What? No… wait, you mean the Talent Discovery Association?” I asked. She nodded her head and I continued, “That’s not about hunting monsters; that’s just about finding out what you're good at and any talents that you have. And I didn’t make the club, really. I only named it.”
“Well, the way they described it, Ashley–”
“It’s Asher.”
“–it sounded like something you came up from what I heard.”
“Why would I even come up with that?” I asked. “Can you not see that I’m sick again ? I was the same way all last night! If you’re hearing that, then it’s obviously being misconstrued and you’re coming to conclusions that you want to hear rather than taking what they’re saying at face value.”
“Well, I can certainly tell you that from what I heard, it was described in a way that made it seem like you were encouraging them to go into the Everfree Forest.”
“Ugh, whatever, I don’t care,” I sighed, closing my eyes as the blood in my head pounded painfully. “You might as well not even talk to me,” I sighed bitterly.
“What? What do you mean?”
“I mean, if you’re just gonna not believe me, then why are you even talking to me? Why don’t you just come to whatever conclusion you’re gonna come to and not bother me with this? It’s already gonna be hard enough to listen to Celestia and Filthy Rich yell at me for something I didn’t do. I don’t need you to tell me how I’m really lying when I’m not.”
“I’m not saying that you’re lying, sweetheart, but can you understand why we–”
“No! I don’t understand it!” I wanted to cry, but forced myself to keep a straight face… or rather, an angry and frustrated face. I was in a mood where I absolutely didn’t want her to see my tears.
“I don’t understand what I’ve done to make what I say come off as unbelievable! Is it my tone of voice? The way I phrase what I’m saying? I wanna know what it is that makes everyone think I’m lying when I haven’t lied once here! I don’t just go around telling lies!”
Okay, maybe I couldn’t force myself not to cry, but I wasn’t surprised by that, given the last few months here. I felt the tears streaming down my face as I closed my eyes. It was just so frustrating that nopony here ever stopped to consider that maybe I was telling the truth when I spoke.
She moved to touch my mane, but I instinctively moved away, glaring at her. “Don’t touch me,” I growled. “I don’t want to be touched. I just want to be believed for once, and not be sick again and go back to sleep and just… not have everyone treat me the way they do!”
Oh, my head was pounding. I tried to stomp, but it hurt too much to do right now. My yelling certainly didn’t help with how I felt, I knew that. I instead walked quietly back into bed, breathing deeply to try and calm myself back down before I gently fell back into bed so I could head back to sleep.
“He really didn’t tell anypony to go to the Everfree Forest, Mayor Mare,” Silver Spoon pleaded after Asher marched off back to bed. “I was there. He told everypony not to go in.”
“Everypony told me she formed the club about hunting for cutie marks, Silver, and–”
“But Asher doesn’t lie!” the filly argued. “He never lies! And I was there, and heard him tell everypony not to go in! Everypony said they wouldn’t before they left!”
“Are you sure about that? You were in the room?”
“Yes! Asher didn’t do that!” The silver-coated filly looked like she was about to cry, too.
Mayor mare put a hoof to the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes to adjust her glasses before looking back down at Silver Spoon. “Okay,” she said. “I trust you. I guess I’ll have to have another conversation with the four of them to see if something got mixed up in communication. But the way I heard it, she formed the club, and then they went out to try and get cutie marks in the Everfree Forest.”
“They made that club weeks ago! I know because they invited Diamond and I weeks ago! Asher really didn’t do anything!”
“Okay, Silver Spoon,” the mare calmed the filly down. “I believe you. I’ll go speak to your friends again. It’s possible that I was just misunderstanding what they were telling me.”
“Okay,” the filly whispered quietly, staring down at her hooves shyly. After a minute more of speaking to Twilight, the mayor left, and Silver Spoon headed back up to Asher’s room.
“Are you okay?” she asked, the blonde maned filly, who sighed without turning over or opening her eyes. “I told Mayor Mare that you didn’t do anything.”
“Thanks, but I don’t think it’s gonna matter,” Asher replied. “Insert comment about how I can do no good here because no one listens to me and everypony thinks I have bad intentions,” she added lazily.
“I don’t think you have bad intentions… and the mayor said she probably misheard and is gonna talk to our friends again.”
“Well, I guess that makes sense. When I say ‘everypony’, I mean all the adults, because none of them listen. Or if they do, they hate me like She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named does. But you guys are nice, and I’m glad to have you all as friends.”
“Well I think you’re telling the truth,” she said. “You haven’t lied once since I met you! I don’t know why grown-ups have to be like that.”
“I understand it. It’s because what I’m saying sounded unbelievable to begin with and they think I have attention seeking behavior or something, but it’s just frustrating. I have to keep dealing with this for no reason!”
Silver Spoon didn’t say anything else, only moving up quietly to lay down next to her and hug her. Asher didn’t hug back, but didn’t say anything as she was, keeping her eyes closed for the duration of the move. It was a long minute that neither said anything before Silver Spoon offered up something.
“If you have money as a cutie mark,” she started, “I’m sure my daddy will let you help him out. He works with Diamond’s dad a lot, but doesn’t really like him very much. I heard him say he was too hot headed.”
“That… sounds nice,” the filly replied. “I don’t know when I wanna get on that though, because everything is a mess and I hate… Equestria so much. I hate it badly. It’s only gonna be a matter of time before… nothing, because I can’t say anything lest I make ponies upset. It’s nothing.”
“It’s gonna be okay Asher. Is there anything I can help with? I can talk to my daddy and get him to talk to Mr. Rich if you want me to.”
“That would be great, even if I’m not sure how much good that’ll do. But thank you.” Silver Spoon hugged Asher as the latter fell back to sleep.
Mayor Mare was back at Ponyville General where four injured fillies were being cared for by Nurse Redheart. Despite their injuries, the four of them mostly looked annoyed and frustrated as they lay in hospital beds with a few casts on some of their limbs.
“All I’m saying is,” Scootaloo argued to Diamond Tiara, “if I had three more minutes, I could’ve taken that Timberwolf out for sure, and then I’d have my cutie mark!”
“You wouldn’t get your cutie mark!” the pink filly argued. “You’d just get more hurt, and then you’d be more in trouble!”
“You’re saying that now, but watch me! I just need to train a little bit more, and then when I’m as strong as Rainbow Dash, I’ll–”
“You’ll what?” Mayor Mare asked, interrupting the conversation as she sent a serious look the four’s way. “Because the way I see it, I don’t believe you four will be doing anything for a couple of days at least while you all heal, and then for the next five moons when we talk to your parents about your little outing last night.”
“It’s not our fault!” Scootaloo tried to say. “We were only trying to find out what our special talents are!”
“Yeah, and it was Button Mash who told us about monster hunting from his game!” Sweetie Belle added. “We were curious what being a monster hunter would be like!”
“Well you girls shouldn’t be going out into the Everfree Forest based on some archaic video game. Do you understand you all could’ve gotten hurt? What would your parents and siblings think if something terrible happened?”
The four of them looked down shamefully at their casted up hooves, offering a quiet, “We’re sorry.”
“As you should be,” she replied sternly before letting out a breath. “Although I need to ask about your friend, Ashley.”
“Ashley?” Scootaloo asked, a confused expression on her face. “Oh, do you mean Asher? He might have kinda sorta told us not to go into the Everfree Forest, and… we didn’t listen.”
“I thought you four said before that he formed– she formed– that club you’re all in. The Talent Discovery Association?”
“Oh, well, he named it, but it was Apple Bloom’s idea to make a club,” Sweetie Belle said.
“And Sweetie Belle’s idea to try out getting cutie marks in monster hunting,” Scootaloo added.
“Hey! I was only saying Button Mash said it about monster hunting from his game!”
“So just to be clear,” Mayor Mare clarified, “Ashley didn’t tell you all to go into the Everfree Forest?”
“Nope,” Scootaloo answered. “I don’t think Asher would ever let us do anything like that. He acts like a responsible adult all the time, and talks about how when we’re adults, we’ll understand, even though he said he’s technically younger than us if you count up the days. He’s weird like that.”
That didn’t make the gray maned mare feel that great. The way they phrased it before made it seem as though they were implicating the filly and that she was the one who encouraged them to head into danger. And now she was being told that she apparently misunderstood what they were saying after having talked to her. She would have to speak to the filly again, and apologize, too, considering how upset she looked.
“What’s wrong, Mayor Mare?” one of them asked.
“Nothing,” she said, quickly shaking her head free of thoughts. “I will be speaking to all of your parents. You should all know better, I say.”
Somehow, I expected Celestia to come down on me that day, but she didn’t, surprisingly enough. I did get a second visit from Mayor Mare though, and she did apologize to me for not believing me. It made me feel a bit better, but not by much. It wasn’t like she was doing this because she was gonna believe me in the future. More likely, it was only because she realized what the rest of the Talent Discovery Association were saying. Still, I took it.
Apparently either she or Filthy Rich told the other’s parents first, because after that, I was being woken up again to talk to ponies, everyone but Apple Bloom’s parents showing up. None of them looked particularly happy, but Scootaloo’s parents had a particularly angry look on their faces, second only to Filthy Rich’s. I couldn’t see why it took about six ponies to harass one little girl, especially one that was younger than their children were, but I didn’t say that out loud.
All but Rich’s looked dropped when they saw the sick state I was in. It helped that Twilight was there to put an end to things and explain that I wasn’t causing trouble. But the way Scootaloo’s parents looked at me still didn’t seem particularly happy. Mr. Rich stomped away in a huff afterward, but Sweetie Belle’s parents at least had the decency to say they were sorry for bothering me and for the misunderstanding. They actually seemed a bit upset with Rich, which I enjoyed. They even invited me to have cake with them with Sweetie Belle when I started to feel better, they felt bad about coming to me the way they did.
Thankfully, just like with Rainbow Dash, their broken bones healed remarkably quickly, and in just two or three days, they were back to running around again outside, at least until they were grounded. It was only for a couple of weeks, but for those couple of weeks, it was only Silver Spoon and I hanging out together, not doing much other than reading books and talking. I wished though that other ponies were there, because I could tell she was only getting more attached to me.
It was about halfway through the period in which we were grounded that Celestia finally visited me, just like I expected her to. She tried to keep a straight expression, even a slightly sympathetic one on account of my still being sick again, but I could see right through it and could tell she was furious with what she likely heard from Filthy Rich.
“I’ve heard you’ve been getting into quite a few situations, Asher,” she told me, trying to sound polite. “I’d like to hear about it if you’re willing to tell.”
“What’s there to say?” I asked. “You probably heard it all from Filthy Rich already. There’s not gonna be anything for me to add.”
“Perhaps not, but I’d like to hear all that’s happened between you and the rest of Ponyville from your perspective in any case. Can you do that for me?”
Honestly, I wanted to argue and not do anything she wanted me to do, especially with her talking to me using that patronizing tone. But I knew better, and knew that she was just gonna get angry with me and threaten me if I didn’t comply.
“Gosh dangit,” I rolled my eyes as I said, “The short story made even shorter is that I did absolutely nothing and a whole bunch of ponies got mad at me anyway. As in, I literally did nothing to antagonize anyone, and even went out of my way to avoid doing things that would make people upset.” I sighed and continued, “But Filthy Rich probably gave you a different story about how I tried to make it my business to harass him, as if he’s important enough for me to want to do something like that to him in the first place.”
“Well, what exactly was it that you did to get him so upset?”
“I told Apple Jack she should raise the prices of her apples because her farm was in a state of complete disrepair. I didn’t want to see her relying on some random party years from now to fix her place up.”
“And I’ve heard he didn’t take very well to this, is that correct? What happened after that?”
I wanted to say ‘he did what you’ve been doing to me’, but bit back my tongue, not wanting to create more unnecessary drama. “He screamed at me in front of everypony, called me a girl even though I told him about five times not to do that, and then accused me of telling Diamond Tiara and everypony else– everyone else– to go into whatever the heck the Everfree Forest is when I explicitly told them not to go in when they offered it as an idea to find cutie marks.”
“I see,” she replied simply, wearing a little smile, probably at the fact that I used ‘everypony’ by accident. “Well, I did speak to my student Twilight, and her report to me lines up with what you’ve said. Although perhaps you’d find it best to not interfere in the natural order of things?”
“Is your suggestion really that I should stop trying to help ponies lift themselves out of poverty?” I asked. “Because that seems like a very weird suggestion, and a basically impossible one for me to follow.”
“Not exactly,” she said. “I expect you to help ponies– after all, the magic of friendship is more powerful than anything else in Equestria. The more friendship there is, the better off the land is.”
“That sounds unbearably cheesy.”
“I’m only saying make sure to think about what you’re doing, so we don’t have a situation that escalates until it seems out of control, as we do now.”
“I am thinking about what I’m doing. It’s not like I’m just running around and doing whatever. But there’s no way I can control how other ponies react to what I do. I’m already focusing enough on… you know, everything else.”
Her. I was going to say I was already focusing enough on her, but bit back my tongue again. Wouldn’t want to make her mad inadvertently, would I?
“Well, I’m certain a bright young fi– err, colt like you could make sure he’s staying out of trouble, correct? You have claimed to be an adult, after all.”
“Fine… I mean yes, I’ll try and figure out what might make other ponies upset, even if I don’t know who they are and won’t have met them until after I apparently made them mad because they don’t know how to manage their own business so that way they can not lose money from somepony else changing their business strategy a tiny little bit.”
“Asher.”
“What? I will. I’ll try and think even more than I already do before I do anything, I guess.”
“Asher, please don’t have a tone with me, I’m being serious.”
Oh, that remark made me want to scream. I hated how patronizing she was being, but still couldn’t say anything lest I face her anger. I closed my eyes, shook my head, and let out a long breath before saying anything else.
“I will try my best. That is all that I can do. Can I talk to Silver Spoon’s father about helping him with his business? Or is that off limits since Filthy Rich is angry?”
“You… may. But please be careful as you do. I’ll have somepony talk to Mr. Rich about this issue, since he’s quite upset. But wherever you go and whatever you do, act as though somepony might be watching your movements from now on.” With that, she vanished into the air with a glow of her horn.
“I already do,” I thought to myself bitterly as I grumbled to myself. “Lord, why? Why is everypony like this? Why do they all act like I’m intentionally trying to make them upset? Why is this even happening to begin with? Please, I want an answer.”
God gave no apparent answer still, but I wasn’t expecting to receive one anyway. Honestly, I had to admit, I was losing a little bit of faith. Not that God didn’t exist. It was more the idea that he just forgot about me. It was a thought that if I dwelled on too long, I knew I would start to get choked up, but it's what it felt like nonetheless.
“Lord, let your will be your will, and please include me in whatever your will is.”
With that, I laid down to think. Celestia was basically ruling out me getting involved in politics with what she said, but I wasn’t ready to give up on that yet. And Silver Spoon… she said her father could use help with his business and that she would talk to him about me. Doubly so was the fact that she said he didn’t like Filthy Rich. That was a good thing in terms of getting a foot in the door with him. But was it even worth all the effort? Ponies would just get mad at me again and I’d have to do this song and dance all over again. And then Celesita would either yell at me or patronize me, and I didn’t know how much more of that I could take.
I was noticing a theme of me getting two steps forward and one step back. Whatever I did just seemed to make me fall flat on my face every single time and get that princess more riled up. Things were moving unbearably slow, as though God was intentionally trying to make my life more difficult. Or maybe some other random deity like being that existed in this world just hated my guts for no reason, more than even Celestia did.
“At least she corrected herself and called me a man… err, a colt. Whatever. This is all so ridiculous. Why am I even trying to get into politics?”
Stop. I needed to stop that thinking. That thinking was bad and I didn’t want to fall into depression, because that’s where that was leading. I had a plan for what I wanted to do for the future and how to start to change the way things are from the inside, and getting depressed was going to do nothing to help that.
“Yeah, right. I seem to be telling myself to stop this line of thinking a lot. Why should I keep trying to go on if no one seems to care and I’ve just been abandoned here to suffer through all this for seemingly no reason? Especially when nothing I do seems to go anywhere with anyone.”
Okay, that really was enough of that. Scootaloo cared. And so did Silver Spoon. And Sweetie Belle and Diamond Tiara, too. Lofty and Holiday cared, too, and openly stated that they were willing to put up a fight with their revered princess for my sake. That wasn’t nothing, and was something to hold on to when everything was feeling as hopeless as it was now. I had friends here, and I changed things for the better, at least a little bit, if those girls really fought as much as Holiday and Lofty said. I could keep my head above water. Hopefully.
“God, just give me a sign that… ugh, never mind.” I left my prayer hanging in the air as I left to find Silver Spoon so I could get on with moving forward and trying to help her father with his business. Yeah, I was feeling spiteful. I really didn't care.
“Have you gotten on that filly yet?” Filthy Rich asked, a scowl planted on his face as he spoke with frustration in his voice. “It’s been almost three weeks and nothing’s happened so far.”
“I’ve already explained to you that there’s nothing we can do,” Mayor Mare told him. “She said she didn’t do anything, her friends said they didn’t do anything, and we have no proof on the matter that she ever told anypony to do anything. Honestly, I believe her when she says she told her friends not to go in. She seemed genuinely upset about not being believed, not scared or stuttering like we’d expect from some foal who tells lies. Silver Spoon stuck up for her, too.”
“Just because those ponies stood up for her doesn’t mean that she didn’t do anything! She’s clearly trying to convince them to keep her from getting in trouble! It’s obvious that she’s going after me.”
“With all due respect, Mr. Rich, I do believe you’re overreacting on this matter,” the mayor told him. “She’s just a little filly, and your daughter is okay. Please let this little grudge you seem to hold against her go. Ashley is only nine years old, after all.”
“It doesn't matter how old she is! I know she did this on purpose!” the stallion grumbled, barely avoiding yelling. “I’ll be watching her, know that much, and I hope for Celestia’s sake that you will be too.”
“We’ll keep just as much an eye on her as we have been, but–” She wasn’t able to finish as Filthy Rich was already stopping away in anger. The mayor rolled her eyes and shook her head in annoyance, letting out a breath. Rich always seemed to act like this, almost as bad as Mrs. Rich. At least he could hold his temper better than she could. It didn’t make it less terrible to work with them though.
“Oh, Celestia, this situation is so complicated,” she muttered to herself as she went back to her office and sat at her desk. “That filly is something else. How does she get herself involved in everything like she does?” She didn’t know, but she could safely say it was irritating that it happened. She hoped those two wouldn’t cross paths again.
It was a couple of days later when I went over to Silver Spoon’s house to talk to her father, Golden Crest, about helping him out with whatever he did. From the way she explained it, he worked with precious metals, mining them and selling the materials to other ponies to turn into things like jewelry or to hold as a safekeeping measure for investments and currency. She knew a surprising amount about what went on with his business, and said that her father was expecting her to work in the field when she was older. She apparently wanted to be a jewelry maker and own a shop in Canterlot when she grew up.
I didn’t know if I was doing the right thing talking to her dad about this and trying to help him, especially given my motivations. I knew I was doing this out of spite, both for Filthy Rich and for Celestia, even though the latter told me I could talk to Golden Crest. She’d be nothing but upset if she learned about that. More than that though, it was definitely not Christ-like. I was letting how I felt fester, and I knew that wasn’t how I should have been living. At that point though, I couldn’t say I cared less that I was going out of my way to try and intentionally screw up whatever Filthy had going on. He had it coming.
“And besides,” I thought to myself as Silver and I walked to her home, “it’s not like I wouldn’t be doing this either way. It’s to help ponies, even if that help might hurt other ponies who were treating me with disrespect. It would be the same whether or not I met that stallion.”
Yeah, right. I knew I was making up excuses, but I wasn’t going to dwell on that fact. Instead, I pushed those thoughts aside and headed into her home.
Her house was, in a word, beautiful. It looked fancy, but not in a snobbish, pretentious sort of way. The living room was large and spacious with a few simple paintings on the wall and comfortable looking furniture. There was a stairwell leading upstairs, and a nice looking kitchen to the right of it, one that looked like it could be straight out of something on Earth. The ceilings were high and the whole place looked spotless, not a thing out of place. It was definitely well taken care of, and was probably the first example of a large, modern, suburbia looking home I’d seen in Equestria. I was impressed.
“Daddy!” Silver Spoon called as she and I stood in the doorway. “My friend Asher’s here! He’s the one who wants to help you with work!”
“Bring him on up here then!” the stallion called back from up the stairs. “What are you both standing down there for? I want to meet him!”
I followed behind Silver as we both started on up, and in a moment, we were standing in a simple looking office in front of a golden coated, black maned stallion in glasses. He had a little tie around his neck and papers in front of him in his hooves as he appeared to be reading over some report. He also had a smile on his face, a genuine one that made it seem like he was happy to see me. It made me smile in return.
“Ah, you’re the little foal that Filthy Rich has gotten his panties in a twist over,” he said as he stood up to shake my hoof. “I already know your name, but why don’t we introduce ourselves formally, young colt? Err, filly? You look like a filly to me.”
“I’m a colt,” I said quickly. “It’s a long story.”
“Alrighty then, young man,” he said without a moment’s hesitation, making me smile even wider. “My name is Golden Crest, although Silver Spoon probably told you all about that already. I specialize in precious metals as you know, although I have a side venture in investments into other companies. My wife, Platinum Plate, is in the jewelry business, and owns shops all over Equestria.”
He didn’t have an accent, but the way he talked reminded me of a southern business owner. He’d already proven himself to be kind and polite in two minutes, and sounded like he was genuinely happy to see me. It was an amazing change of pace from the way I’d been treated by these ponies for the last few months.
“And what about you, sugar? Or, I’m sorry, young man? What do you do?”
“My name is Asher, and I’m a business major,” I said with a smile, happy with his use of the correct pronouns on me. “I’m working on my Master’s degree in Business Administration– err, I was– and… I got my cutie mark helping out Applejack with her finances, I guess? They were all out of order when I took a look at them, and I helped her straighten them out.” I paused for a second before adding, “And then madness ensued, apparently.”
“So I heard. With how upset Filthy Rich was, you’d have thought the world ended and he had to file for bankruptcy. But just between you and me, he can be a pain in my flank to deal with, you know what I mean? But that’s a side point. It sounds like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders there, and some experience already. What do you say about helping me take a look at what I could be doing better?”
“Sure, where should I start? Are you having any issues with anything? I’m not an expert in precious metals or investment strategies, but I can try and lend out what knowledge I might have.”
He had me sit down next to him at his desk as he explained what was going on and what exactly he was looking for, Silver Spoon smiling and standing next to us as he did. She seemed happy that things were going well, and apparently knew what her father did well enough to chip in some information about the way things were run.
Golden Crest was great to talk to, if only because he treated me like an adult. He didn’t have the patronizing tone everyone else did, and spoke to me like I was a peer rather than just a little girl. I appreciated it, and returned the favor with the advice that I gave him on what he could be doing better as he talked about what he was looking to do to increase profits.
Apparently, he wanted to congratulate the ponies he employed for the hard work they put in to mine for him with raises across the board, but didn’t know where the money would come from to do so without eating into his own profits. I couldn’t say I knew very much about how to maneuver the specific field of mining or forging metals, but I did offer that he could create profit by just simply increasing the price of goods rather than putting out sales events like he wanted to do. I told him that while it might work for most businesses, since luxury items like jewelry are normally bought by rich people who want to spend money, just putting out price increases shouldn’t hurt business since they’re in it for the expenses anyway. Either that, or he could invest into Sweet Apple Acres, since I knew Applejack would be making money if she kept doing what I told her.
“Mhm, I see,” he said thoughtfully, nodding his head as I explained it to him. “You’re quite the smart filly… I mean, colt. How did you learn about how to navigate consumer goods like this?”
“I went to college and worked in a restaurant,” I told him. “I’m not necessarily smart. It’s just what you learn when you’re going through school and on the job. I was on track to be the general manager of the place I worked at, and wanted to open my own store or restaurant if I could.”
“Well I certainly think you can with how you think on your hooves like this… do you really think ponies are gonna buy more if things are more expensive?”
“Not usually, but the point of getting jewelry and wedding gifts and such is to show how rich you are basically. If you’re buying somepony a ten thousand bit ring instead of a five thousand bit ring, then that means you love them more. Well, from an artificial, consumer standpoint anyway. It’s how human brains think… err, pony brains.”
“I see. Well, I certainly never would have thought of that, I’ll say. I’m definitely going to take your advice. I don’t see any flaws with it.”
“I think it should work, but if it doesn’t, then we’ll take a look and try to find out why and regroup from there.”
“I do think that would be a good strategy in this case,” he agreed. “Although why should we regroup when I could just hire you on now as my assistant?”
That got my attention. I certainly wasn’t expecting this after just my first meeting with the pony.
“You really want me to work with you?” I asked. “I mean, I will, but, like, really?”
“Absolutely, positively,” he assured me with a kind smile. “Like I said, you have a good head on your shoulders, and from the way Filthy is talking about you, you’ve certainly got the knowledge to take things by storm and change the way business is done, especially with your funny way of thinking about things. Not to mention, Silver here has been talking you up every night she’s been here. She just goes on and on about you at dinner, right sweetie?”
That made me blush, although not as deeply as Silver Spoon was. She nodded and looked away shyly, and the stallion continued, “I can’t think of one reason why I shouldn’t have you here and be getting your input. Better you’re here than in somepony else's hooves helping them out instead.”
“Well, I’m definitely not gonna say no,” I replied happily. “But just so you know, I’ve been helping Applejack out with her farm, and already told her I would be for a while. I’m not gonna be able to be here every day if that’s what you’re expecting.”
“Oh, no, of course not. I know you have things you want to do and a whole world of ponies out there to talk to, but I’d like to keep you on retainer if I can. You know, having you come in if I have an issue or just looking things over if need be. How does ten bits a week sound?”
“Uh, sure, that sounds great, but… really? You really want me to work for you?” I was still shocked by the offer.
He laughed at that and told me, “One hundred percent I’d like you to work for me. Maybe I could show you the ropes and teach you how to get a business up and running, or you could open up a jewelry shop someday and run that for me. I’m certain you’d make a lot of money.”
“Well, that sounds great! Although if I could, I’d like to be a politician.”
“Ah, big aspirations then!” he said heartily. “I’ve certainly got some connections in Canterlot I could talk to for you. Everypony out there is always looking for the next bright young mind to come running in and seize Equestria by the horns. I’m sure they’d love to have you on as an intern or understudy or something.”
“That sounds great!” I said excitedly. “I would definitely appreciate it if you talked me up! That would be amazing!”
He laughed again, saying, “I’ll be in ponies’ ears the next time I go out there, I assure you. For now though, I’ll let you run along and get back to your day. Thanks for stopping by, Asher.”
“Thank you for having me!”
With that, he shook my hoof and escorted me out, Silver Spoon next to me as I left. I was smiling ear to ear after that whole interaction, and she was, too.
“That was so good, Asher!” she said happily. “You did amazing! I told you he’d like it if you helped him.”
“That you did,” I replied as we walked. “Thank you. I really didn’t expect that to go so well, especially not after everything that’s happened so far. Things are actually looking up for me!”
“Mhm, I’m glad, too,” she said. “You’re always so smart. I had no doubt that he’d like you.”
“Well I absolutely thank you for introducing me to him,” I said, turning her way and smiling happily. She smiled back too, a wide, kind one that seemed sincere and I assumed was a sign of friendship. I could say I definitely appreciated having her as a friend.
“This is going great!” I thought as I closed my eyes to let out a breath. “Thank you, Lord. Thank you for finally giving me a piece of hope. I don’t know what–”
And then my prayer was interrupted when the filly was suddenly kissing me.
“Silver Spoon,” I said sternly, making sure to look her in the eyes as I spoke. “I’m telling you right now. I do not want what you’re looking for from me. I am an adult, and you are a child. I need you to know that I am not looking for any romantic involvement with you, or anypony else. Do you understand?” I glared hard at her as I spoke, wanting to make sure what I said got through to her. I told her twice now that I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to have to say this all again for a fourth time.
“Eep, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” She turned away shamefully, the look on her face making me lower my glare and sigh. Everything had to be needlessly complicated.
“Look,” I said, letting out a breath as I spoke. “We can be friends, but I don’t want to be anything other than friends. You can like me and we can hang out and stuff, but don’t go over the line. I am not comfortable with all of that.” I paused for a moment, then said again, “I am an adult, and you are a child.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” she said quietly, her face red as she rubbed a hoof behind her other. “I won’t do that again… are you still gonna be my friend?”
“Yes, I’ll still be your friend, as long as you understand that we’re just friends. Nothing else, okay?”
“Okay, I understand.”
There was a long awkward silence as I stared at her, she remaining turned away, before I asked, “Do you wanna find everypony else and do something? Like getting some cake from Sugarcube Corner? I have the money.”
“Mhm, yes please. But, um… maybe when we’re older we can be fillyfriends? Err, special someponies?”
Almost certainly not. I couldn’t say I had any particular interest in any women before I turned into a pony, and coming to Equestria hadn’t changed that. I certainly didn’t have an interest in horses, especially not ones who were less than half my age. The thought of it made me want to vomit. But I decided to not just outright say that with how sad she looked.
“I don’t know,” I told her. “I can’t predict what will happen in the future, so I guess maybe. Let’s get going now though.” That maybe was an almost definite no, but it made her smile to hear anyway.
“I hope I’m not leading her on,” I thought to myself as we started off. “Wouldn’t that be just another thing. Gosh, this is such a horrible situation.”
We found Sweetie Belle and Applebloom, but when we stopped by Scootaloo’s house, her parents took one look at me and told us that she couldn’t come with us. Diamond’s parents didn’t even entertain us, not even answering the door when we showed up. We were only able to wave to her in the window for a few seconds before her father glared at me shut the curtain. Wonderful.
“This sucks,” Sweetie Belle said as we sat down in Sugarcube Corner, the four of us only ordering drinks because of the depressing mood. “Everypony knows you didn’t do anything. Even Mayor Mare said you didn’t do anything! Why do adults have to be so mean?”
“Mah sister said that Asher would never do anythin’ wrong,” Applebloom jumped in. “She said yer the hardest workin’ filly she’d ever seen.”
“Well, I’m not gonna sit here and say I never do anything wrong, but I try my best. Twenty five years of experience helps me though. But yeah, I can say as an adult that adults are dumb.”
“Well, my daddy likes you,” Silver Spoon tried to say cheerfully. “He said so just now, didn’t he? He’s gonna talk you up to all of his Canterlot friends.”
“And Scootaloo told me her aunts are gonna be back in town again in a few months when her parents go off on their travels again, and they like you.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” I agreed. “Just gotta keep looking at the positives. Can’t let anything get me down. It helps having ponies like you who care. Thanks guys.”
“That’s what we’re here for, Asher!” Sweetie Belle said. “And so are Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara, even if their parents are being stinky.”
“Well, let’s not talk bad about ponies’s parents…” I paused, and then smiled, saying, “But yeah. They are acting pretty stinky, aren’t they?” We all laughed with that, and then I sighed, saying, “Oh, I hope I can get in with somepony and be a politician. There’s certainly a lot about Equestria I’d like to change if I can.”
“Knowing you, you’re probably gonna be named princess once Princess Celestia retires,” Silver Spoon said. “You’re always so nice and smart, just like her.”
“I doubt that. That title is gonna go to… well, I can’t say,” I got out, remembering what Celestia told me. “I wouldn’t want to be ruler anyway. But being somepony with some influence who can change things for the better would be great. I wanted to be a politician if I could back in Delaware, but I knew I had to choose between that and trying to become a business owner. Besides, my political takes don’t match up with Delaware anyway. They probably mesh a little better here though.”
“Ah’ve been meanin’ ta ask, are ya really from some other world like everypony says ya are?” the yellow filly asked. “Cause that seems like a load of crabapples ta me.”
“Yeah, he is,” Silver Spoon answered for me. “Asher doesn’t tell lies, so that’s how I know, even though I don’t get it.”
“Huh. Maybe that’s why ya act so weird.”
“I do act extremely weird,” I agreed, finishing my drink. “But I just am who I am, for better or for worse. Wish I could change some things though. But yeah, being a politician would be cool.”
“Ah don’t get why ya’d wanna be one of those rich, snobbish, stuck up Canterlot ponies fer,” Applebloom said, sticking out her tongue at the thought of it. “Or live in a big ol’ city like that. Cities ponies ain’t right.”
“Well just because you’re rich and live in a city doesn’t mean you’re stuck up,” I said. “Silver Spoon’s family is rich, and her dad has friends in Canterlot, but he was one of the nicest ponies I’ve met so far. Diamond Tiara’s family is rich, too, and she’s nice, even if her dad isn’t. The content of your character is what matters, not how much money you have or where you live.”
“Humph. Well, if yer so nice, and if yer gonna be a rich Canterlot pony soon, maybe you should be nice right now and pay fer our food. Ah’m gonna order a double servin’ of ice cream.”
“Hey, now,” I said, pretending to be stern but laughing along with them. “I didn’t say I’d go along with all that.”
Golden Crest got back to me about two weeks later, telling me enthusiastically that what I suggested he do was working, and that he was able to start raising his employees' pay because of it. He was ecstatic, and handed me a fifty bit coin as compensation, telling me that I could keep the change. I could definitely say I was happy, too.
“How did you know that would work, though?” he asked me. “I told you before, I would never have guessed that ponies would like it if I raised prices.”
I shrugged. “It’s just simply knowing who your market is and what they’re looking for… not that I’m saying you don’t know how to run your business,” I quickly corrected. “I don’t want to come off that way. I’m sorry.”
“You’re absolutely fine, sweetheart,” he said, patting my head. “If I’m making money and helping my workers make money, I don’t care where the advice comes from or who I need to listen to, even if it’s little fillies… err, colts. I apologize.”
“But yeah, you’re just gonna wanna make sure you don’t set prices too high, or raise the prices of everything. A good mix of cheap stuff for poorer ponies who want to buy their spouses something and expensive items for flashy ponies who like that kind of thing is a good idea. Holiday sales and everything work as well, too, but mostly it’s about catering to your audience, and yours is looking for high class, expensive jewelry. Raising prices is okay in your industry.”
“Mhm, I think I get that now… say though. You mentioned something about me investing in Sweet Apple Acres before. Were you just messing around with that, or being serious? Cause I can certainly talk to Granny Smith about investing if you are.”
“Well, I am serious, but just from my time spent over there, they don’t seem like the type that would take any sort of investment. I’m not even sure they’d need one anyway, unless they’re using it to fix up their farm more quickly and do the rest of the work they need done. Not to mention, Filthy Rich is gonna have a fit if he hears me telling you about how you should go ahead and insert yourself into ‘his business’.”
“Ah, well Filthy’s not a problem at all. I can handle the likes of him. I heard he was making a ruckus about you from Silver Spoon, and I think it’s just because he’s not used to competition. He’s the only one supplying apples to Canterlot, see?”
“Is that all he does?” I asked. “That certainly doesn’t sound like enough to make him rich.”
“His wife, Spoiled, is in the banking business, so they’re certainly plenty rich without the extra he does, even more than Platinum and I. But it’s not an issue. If you think it’s a good idea, I’d certainly like to hear about what I can do to help the Apples out. Even if it’s just something like a loan being paid back in royalties or some such.”
I wanted to be spiteful, but I knew I had to hold back. “I’d like to help, but he’s already bitter and angry enough at me as it is. I really don’t want to have him more down my throat than he is already. I can’t even see Diamond Tiara anymore because he’s so upset.”
“Mhm, I understand. I’ll leave them be for now then. But if you ever think we can sit down and talk this out with Filthy, holler at me, okay?”
“I will definitely make sure to talk to you first. Thanks.” Then I stretched and yawned, continuing, “I better get going though. There’s a lot I need to do before the day’s up, and I don’t want to go to sleep late again.”
“Why don’t you stay over here for the night?” he offered. “You can sleep with Silver Spoon in her room.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to impose.”
“No trouble at all, with all the help you’ve been. Actually, I’ll see if I can invite her other friends, too. Let you fillies have a sleepover together. Let me call up Filthy Rich right quick.”
I had no idea where this was going, but I didn’t question it as I headed into Silver Spoon’s room.
“Hello there, Diamond,” Golden Crest greeted politely with a smile as she and her father stood in his doorway. “Always a pleasure to have you over, what with how pretty you are, princess.”
“Thank you! Can I see Silver Spoon please, Mr. Crest?”
“You know you don’t even have to ask, sweetheart. Go ahead and run along. You know where Silver’s room is at. She and your other friends are there already, and Platinum is putting on some dinner.”
“Okay! Thank you!” She ran on up, leaving Filthy and Golden alone to head into the living room to chat.
“She’s such a wonderful filly, always nice to have her over,” Golden Crest said politely as the two of them sat down. “I wonder why she hasn’t been stopping by as often as usual. Silver Spoon’s been missing her best friend lately.”
“It’s just a whole bunch of mess between her and those fillies, a lot of intervening to do and such. You know how girls are.”
“Intervening. Don’t I know a thing or two about that,” Golden Crest said wistfully, leading into what he wanted to discuss. “About fillies, too, and how they can be,” he said. “My daughter’s went and got heart eyes for one of them if you can believe it. She’s turning into a mare and growing up already.”
“Oh yeah? Who’s she got her eyes on?”
“Well, a little colt named Asher from what she tells me.” Golden Crest looked across the room to a painting, and then back to Filthy Rich to gauge his reaction.
The stallion wore a scowl at just the mention of the name. “Asher? Are you talking about that little filly who went and meddled her muzzle in my business and tried to hurt Diamond in retaliation for telling her off? Is she here now?”
“Asher absolutely is here now,” Golden said casually, “but from the way I heard it told, Asher told your girl not to go running around in the Everfree. From Silver Spoon’s own lips it came, and I’m inclined to believe her.”
“Silver Spoon. Of course she did. That’s what she told me, too, but she’s gonna say that if she’s in love with that filly. Isn’t that obvious enough? She’s making me lose money by talking to the Apples.”
“You’re a business stallion, right? You can handle some adversity. Sounds like you need to toughen up if you’re letting a little girl get the better of you.”
Filthy let out a little grumble at that, his scowl becoming deeper. “It’s not about who it is that’s hurtin’ me. It’s about the fact that it’s happening. You wouldn’t let some foal run around and meddle with your best interests, especially not after convincing your kid to do something dangerous.”
“If a foal was messing with my best interests,” Golden countered, “then I’d just adjust rather than stage this little attack against them. And like I said, the way I hear it, your story isn’t what really happened.”
“Golden, you–”
“I’m gonna be frank with you, Filthy: I’ve already put her on retainer to help me out with my financials and business keepings and such. I’d appreciate it if, stallion to stallion, you stop messing around and making my employee’s life worse. Another thing Silver talks to me about is how depressed her filly friend looks, and it makes her cry. If you’re upsetting my daughter, then that’s gonna be a no-go. Are you hearing what I’m saying?”
Filthy Rich had a look of intense anger and frustration on his face, but held back from speaking his mind. Instead, he asked, “Is there anythin’ else you wanna add, Golden?”
“I believe that about sums it up. And in good time, too, because dinner’s about ready.” He looked upstairs and called, “Fillies! Get down here to eat!”
In a second, multiple sets of hooves were bounding down the stairs, followed by one set of careful hooves at the back of the pack walking casually behind the group. Filthy Rich eyed the filly at the back, and she stopped when she saw the stallion sitting next to Golden Crest, a little nervous because of the sight of him.
Filthy Rich glared right at Asher, staring her in the eyes as he asked, “What are you lookin’ at me for? Aren’t you supposed to be getting along for dinner?”
She closed her eyes for a moment and took a breath before saying, “I’m sorry for any trouble that I might have caused you. I didn’t mean to put you in an uncomfortable position financially, and if I’ve hurt you, I apologize. I didn’t mean to have this all turn into such a mess. I’ll be more careful about giving ponies advice in the future.”
“I… good. Thank you,” the stallion said awkwardly, completely unprepared for what he heard. A second later, Asher was scampering away and sitting at the table with her friends to eat.
Filthy rich blinked in confusion as he stared at her, Golden saying, “You know, she and I were talking about me joining the apple business and investing into the Apple Family Farm. But you know what she said?”
“Huh?”
“She said she didn’t want to impose, even after I told her I’d talk to you if there was an issue between you and her. She could’ve been spiteful, but she didn’t, so I’d suggest you take your spitefulness and throw it away like Asher did. Wouldn’t want a foal to be better than you in two categories, would you?”
I didn’t want to apologize. I really, really didn’t, and hated every second of every word I said. There was nothing for me to apologize for, and in fact, I was the one who was owed an apology after the way Filthy Rich had been acting towards me. But no, I sucked it up and said I was sorry in hopes that it would finally start to smooth things over. Still, it was mostly Golden Crest’s idea for me to say sorry publicly to him and have it be in front of Diamond Tiara.
Filthy was definitely surprised by the move, and the look on his face when I did apologize told me that it was, in fact, a good idea to do. He didn’t hassle me while I ate with Diamond and our friends, even if he did feel the need to keep his eyes on me the entire time during dinner. I didn’t pay much attention to it though. If he wanted to stare at me, I didn’t care, so long as he stopped giving me trouble.
He left a few minutes before we finished, and after dinner, we went back upstairs to Diamond’s room for the sleepover. I tried not to appear too bored when they started doing makeup and talking about girl stuff, but was drawn back into the conversation when it switched to how to expand the Talent Discovery Association.
“I wanna hang signs and posters up around Ponyville!” Scootaloo declared, flapping her wings happily as she got it out. “And we need to build an official clubhouse! That way we can have meetings and stuff and plan out how to find cutie marks!”
“My sister has a tree house on our farm we can use,” Apple Bloom suggested. “We’d need ta fix it up, but Ah’m sure it’d be perfect for a clubhouse!”
“I can buy paper and poster board and stuff if we want to hang stuff up,” I offered. “I mean, I’m not great at drawing or designing stuff, but if I buy the materials, I’m sure you guys could take care of it. And tools if Applejack lets us use that old treehouse in her yard.”
“Oooh, that’s good, Asher!” Scootaloo started again. “We’ll have a whole bunch of ponies joining us in no time! But also, we need a club president, and a way to vote on how to handle stuff if anything happens. Maybe a president, or a parliamentary system.”
Okay, this was more complicated than I was expecting from a bunch of ten year olds, but I didn’t question it. I did start to get nervous though when everyone went quiet and looked my way. I knew what they were thinking.
“Don’t look at me,” I said quickly. “I don’t want to be president. If you offer it to me, I’m gonna say no.”
“That’s why you’d make a good president!” Scootaloo said. “Because you don’t wanna be!”
I was sure I’d make a great president, but I could safely say it was not a responsibility I wanted to have, especially since we were planning on expanding the club. There were other things I had to focus on.
“I like the idea of a parliament,” I said. “Like, we can have us five vote on things as permanent members, and if the club gets bigger, bring other people in, but make us five permanent members of whatever parliament we set up.” Then I paused before adding, “Or we could just, you know, have fun and see what happens. It doesn’t need to be planned out extensively.”
“I think Asher’s right,” Silver Spoon agreed. “It won’t be very fun if it turns out to be just like school, or Mayor Mare’s job. We can all just be the five who votes on things and just have fun.”
“Hmmm, yeah, that makes sense,” Scootaloo said thoughtfully, putting a hoof under her chin. “But let me tell you, this is why you should be president, Asher. Because you’re such a good thinker.”
“Yeah, I’m sure I am, but if I’m ever nominated to be president, I’ll accept the position and then resign immediately. So keep that in mind guys. But anyway, poster board and markers. I can buy some now if we have time and we can draw up some signs if you guys want. It’s not too late yet.”
They all agreed, and Golden allowed us to head down to the store to buy stuff, even offering his own money to pay for it. We’d only gotten about a block from his house though when we came across Filthy Rich, pacing back and forth all alone on the sidewalk at the corner of the street Silver's house was on. He did not look happy, and we could hear him grumbling to himself up until he turned back and saw us standing there.
“Daddy?” Diamond Tiara asked as she blinked at him. “What are you doing out here?”
“Nothing, sweetheart,” he said casually, giving her a smile that seemed to reassure her. “I was just out here tryin’ to remember what else I was gonna talk to Mr. Crest about, but lost track of time tryin’ to remember. It’s nothin’, dear.”
“Thank you for letting Diamond come over to our house, Mr. Rich!” Silver Spoon told him gratefully. “We all wanted to have a sleepover for so long, and now we finally get to have one!”
“Oh, no trouble dear, but where are you all goin’ this late in the evening?” He raised an eyebrow curiously, and I could pick up on the suspicion in his voice. He stole a glance at me, one that sent my way all of his thoughts, before turning back to Silver.
“We’re gonna buy some paper and poster board and markers so we can make signs about the club we made! The Talent Discovery Association!”
“That’s that cutie mark findin’ club, ain’t it?” he asked, sending another glance my way, the glare nowhere on his face except in his eyes. “Y’all aren’t gonna be doing anythin’ dangerous now, are you?” Now he stared me in the eyes as he asked the question, one that was clearly directed at me.
“Um, no, we’re just going to make signs telling people to join our club,” I said. “I guess we’re also probably gonna be building a clubhouse with an old treehouse in Applejack’s backyard, which might be dangerous, but not anything else.”
He stared at me for a long minute, the scowl on his face deepening. Me and the rest of my friends stared back at him uncomfortably, then looked at each other, waiting to see what he was going to say. It felt like a good five minutes that this went on before he took a step back, threw his head back, and laughed loudly. Not a genuine sounding laugh, but something.
“Of course you are,” he said, sounding sarcastic. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you girls now. But say, since you’re out here, how about some ice cream at Sugarcube Corner while it’s still open? My treat.”
That was enough to get the rest of the group excited, already clamoring over to him. I kept my distance though, and eventually, when he saw I wasn’t close to him, asked, “What about you, Asher? Wanna get some ice cream with us, missy?”
“I’ll pass,” I decided, keeping down my frustration at his intentional attempts to rile me up. “I have to buy the poster board and markers, after all. I’ll see you guys back at Silver’s place.”
“I’ll come with you,” Silver Spoon said, running to my side. The other four fillies looked at me with questioning looks, but I nodded to reassure them it was okay to go with Filthy. They left a minute after that, I having to decline an attempt to get Filthy to come with us one more time. Then he and the other fillies walked off toward Sugarcube Corner, and Silver Spoon and I headed the opposite way to the store.
“Filthy Rich is acting really weird, isn’t he?” the gray filly asked, more than smart enough to see the strangeness of the situation. “What was that all about?”
“I have no idea, and I don’t want any part of it,” I told her. “If I have to guess though, it is something about me, because everything always is.”
“That’s what I’ve been realizing, too,” she agreed. “I mean, I thought you only felt that way at first, but everything these days revolves around you. Maybe it’s because you’re still a new pony.”
“Maybe it’s because God just…” Nope, I was cutting that thought off right there. I wasn’t gonna blame God for my misfortunes, as much as I wanted to. “Never mind,” I continued. “But yeah, it’s annoying, and I wish it would stop.”
“Mhm, I do too… but I have another question,” she said as we walked. “I’ve been meaning to ask for a little while, but, um, who’s God?”
“Huh?”
“It’s just that you said before that when you’re praying, it’s you talking to God, and that he’s invisible and all powerful and knows everything, and said he was like Celestia, but also not, and I’ve been wondering about that a lot now.”
I did say he was like Celestia, but when I did, I meant the idea she had built into the minds of these ponies, not who she actually was. I didn’t mention that fact though cause I wouldn’t have been surprised if she was omniscient, too.
“Nah, she couldn’t be omniscient. She can’t even seem to control me, and rages at me over every little thing for ruining whatever plans she’s trying to put into place. I’m an agent of chaos.”
“And you talk to him a lot,” she continued. “But also, during the Summer Sun Celebration, you asked God to protect Rarity, and she showed up right when you asked him to get her to, so that means he’s a real pony, right?”
“Well, I can talk to you about him,” I told the filly, “but that’s a conversation for… not tonight and not right now. Bring it up if we get to be alone sometime else.”
She nodded again, and we continued from there to the store, walking silently now. We were only there for about ten minutes– long enough to grab poster board and markers– and within twenty minutes of leaving, Silver Spoon and I were walking back into her house to Golden Crest sitting in a rocking chair reading a book. He looked at us strangely and questioned where everyone else went.
“Off with Filthy Rich to eat ice cream, I guess,” I said. “He was just pacing back and forth outside down the street when we saw him, and he asked us all if we wanted to get dessert at Sugarcube Corner. Silver and I said no, but everyone else went with him.”
“And he was acting really weird, too,” the filly next to me added. “Like, staring at us like he was angry, and at Asher especially.”
That got him curious, but he didn’t say anything as he tried to think about what it all meant. He must have come up with something, because after a few seconds, he asked, “Why don’t we head down to Sugarcube Corner and get some ice cream, too?”
It wasn’t very long before we got there. I don’t know why I expected that Filthy Rich would be trying to kidnap them or something, but that was the idea that played in my head. I imagined he’d come up with some convoluted plan to endanger everyone and blame it on me or something, but no, he was sitting there eating ice cream with all of them just like he said he would be. Or rather, they were all eating ice cream together and he was sitting at a table beside them watching them eat and talking as they did. A perfectly normal scene, but a weird one nonetheless.
“Oh, hello Asher,” Filthy said, trying to be polite, but the disdain he had for me clear in his voice. “I’m glad you could come with us, missy. And you too, Silver Spoon. Nice to see you both here with all of your friends.”
“Yeah,” I said simply, doing what I could to not be bugged by his words. Was that his plan? To just subtly harass me? I wasn’t gonna bite on his bait.
“Glad we could be here,” Golden said carefully as he sat down, scooting next to Filthy as Silver and I sat with everyone else. “Not that they were gonna stay away. They were just off grabbing some materials to advertise their little club.”
“Oh, of course, I know how fillies are,” he said, feigning laughter. “You know, I heard before that you guys used to fight all the time. I’m happy to see you all being friendly with each other.”
“Better to be friends than enemies, right?” I shrugged. “Besides, they all have the same interests, so all the more reason to be friends.”
“Yes it is,” he agreed with a nod. “You’re all precious little girls and should be together. You know though, that apology got me thinking. I’m sorry, too,” he told me. “I shouldn’t have been trying to go after you like I was, missy. You’ve just been the most respectful little filly I’ve met, and I think I’ve learned something from all of this.”
Okay, so he was trying to antagonize me. Great. I did my best to not grind my teeth and fall over because of dysphoria, closing my eyes for a second to catch my breath.
Golden Crest could see that I looked uncomfortable, and put a hoof on my shoulder.
“You know, Asher here has been telling me that he’s a colt, and he looks like he’s getting upset hearing you call him a filly.”
“Ah, my mistake. I heard from Diamond that Asher said he was a colt, but you can never be quite sure if it’s just fillies playin’ pretend or not.”
Ugh, and he was still going. How wonderful.
"Well if you could, it would be appreciated if you treated my employees with respect, one stallion to another."
“I’ll certainly try my best, but you’ll have to forgive me if I make any mistakes,” Filthy Rich finished. “Now how do you two fillies feel about ice cream?”
“I can’t wait to deal with his pettiness forever. This is gonna be so great.”
I was not at Sugarcube Corner for very long, Filthy Rich taking no time at all to just drive me up the wall. I ate my ice cream and within five minutes, was heading back to Silver Spoon’s house, my jaw clenched tightly as I growled to myself. Golden Crest followed beside me, disliking the mood Filthy put me in.
“Don’t worry about him,” he told me as we walked together. “He’s not anypony who you need to bother with. Before you know it, you’re gonna be in Canterlot and be the understudy of some member of nobility and be well above anything I could hope to be.”
Maybe. Maybe I’d just fall over and die if Filthy Rich had friends out there he was gonna spread my name to. Maybe I’d just–
No, not gonna wallow in depression. I needed to be above that. Golden was a great employer, and he was gonna talk me up, and then when I went to that party in Canterlot with Twilight, everything would be great and I would get to where I needed to be. I couldn’t focus on people who didn’t matter and were just trying to hurt me.
“Unless God just keeps on letting everything get completely out of control and keeps on forcing me to have to build relationships up from ground zero every month.”
Man, I was being bitter, and I knew my bitterness was misplaced. I couldn’t blame God for my troubles, and I knew that, but I couldn’t help it. I could feel my faith slipping day by day. It was so hard not to be bitter and try to place blame when I was doing everything in my power to better my position and make my life better.
“Hey, Asher?” Golden asked, looking down at me. I finally noticed that we stopped walking, and looked up at him with a questioning look.
“Chin up,” he told me with a little smile. “Yeah, Filthy Rich is trying to make you upset, but you don’t have to have him in your life if you don’t want to. I’ll make sure he cuts all that mess out, and make sure you get a job wherever you wanna work when you’re older. I’ve got your back.”
That made me let out the breath I’d been subconsciously holding in and smile, too. Of course, as terrible as things seemed to be, it would always work out. I couldn’t let myself get down in the dumps, could I? I had to stay positive, as annoying as staying positive could be.
“Yeah, that was horrible thinking to have on my part… but God’s always watching, isn’t he?” As always, when my frustration got to me and I started to think negatively, God would send my way a little burst of positivity to help me snap out of it. I could always count on that.
I did my best to put Filthy Rich behind me, and enjoyed the rest of the sleepover. In fact, I had it in my head that I would do everything I could to enjoy the rest of the summer– until I remembered that summer was gonna be four hundred days long. Yeah, it was gonna be an absolute slog before anything got done, or even got close to happening.
We made a whole bunch of posters for us to put up, advertising the club. Or rather, my friends did, since I still couldn’t figure out how to make heads or tails of ponish despite spending the last few months studying and trying to get it in my head. I had a feeling that I would never get it into my head, and I’d have to rely on translations of text into unicorn script. I guessed it was a good thing I wanted to work in Canterlot where everyone wrote in that language.
Not that it mattered either way since no one really showed up to the club despite our posters. None of us complained though. It made organizing stuff for us to do easier anyway. In fact, we learned quickly that, even though her special talent was going to be something different, Sweetie Belle was a natural at singing. Applebloom turned out to be great and writing poems, and Scootaloo we all already knew was a stunt enthusiast.
Somehow, both Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara got their cutie marks on the same day. I don’t know how the latter got hers; she just told us that she was looking in the mirror one morning while wearing her tiara and the same one appeared on her flank. She didn’t know what it meant, but wasn’t that what we made the club for? We told her we’d help her figure it out.
I did see how Silver Spoon got her cutie mark. We were at Golden Crest’s house seeing if we could help his wife, Platinum, assemble jewelry, and she got it as she sat at the desk and made things. She was working on a spoon when hers appeared, her cutie mark being a fancy looking bluish-white spoon with a pink heart shaped gemstone pressed into it, the exact same thing as what she was making. How their cutie marks both seemed to fit their names perfectly and looked like the objects associated with them, I didn’t know, but I didn’t question it.
We built the clubhouse out of the messed up treehouse in Applejack’s yard, although that wasn’t an easy process. It took a good month before it was in shape enough to use. When it was though, it was a great spot to just sit and hang out and get away from it all. Not to mention, it was away from everyone else, so it was easy to hang out with Scootaloo since her parents still didn’t like me for some reason. I tried to ask them a couple of times why they didn’t but they insisted that they didn’t feel that way and said they never wanted me to think that of them. I could see through their act though. It wasn't like it was hard to tell since she was conveniently never able to hang out when I was the one asking.
And then after that, there was nothing to do. Golden Crest kept me on retainer, but didn’t really need my advice much at all, so I only ended up talking to him a couple of days a month. I helped Applejack with her apples, but after a certain point, there was nothing else to do with that, either. The days dragged on and on seemingly without end, with nothing to entertain me or keep my mind active. At one point I started wishing for school to start so I could have something to occupy my time, and looked at the calendar to see when it would be. Not for another hundred and fifty days– a good five more months. Five more months of nothing to do.
To say I was bored out of my mind was an understatement. With nothing to do, my thoughts started to roam and seemed to be leading back to dysphoria more often as time went on. Yeah, I had friends to hang out with, but not being a ten year old like everyone else made the things they liked to do become stale after a while. It was absolutely driving me crazy.
I was hanging out with Caramel again one day when I brought up my dysphoria. “I’m gonna go crazy without anything to do,” I told them as I paced around their living room. “There’s nothing for me to focus on so I can pretend like I’m not in this dumb filly’s body.”
“Yeah, I’ve been getting that way, too,” they agreed. “Applejack being done for the season doesn’t help. Hopefully though I can head to Canterlot soon and perform there.”
“Wait, you’re gonna perform in Canterlot?” I asked. “For who? When?”
“It’s just a little show for Prince Blueblood and his friends,” Caramel said bashfully. “I mean, I’m just gonna be the opening act, but hopefully this’ll be the start of an actual career. I’d love to travel the world if I could.”
“When are you gonna go?” I asked. “Is it any time soon?”
“Probably in a month and a half.” Caramel paused for a moment, then said, “You can come with me if you want. I mean, if your parents let you.”
“Yes! I do wanna go! But I’d need to talk to some ponies beforehand.” I wanted to see if Golden Crest would be able to talk to ponies before I went there if he could. Might as well make use of my time. Even if he couldn’t though, going out there could be fun. It’d certainly be better than spending all day doing nothing.
“Well you can definitely come with me,” they said. “I don’t mind.” Then they paused and looked away, continuing, “Plus, it would be nice to, you know, have somepony with me for encouragement.”
I raised an eyebrow in confusion, and was a second away from asking what they needed encouragement for before I realized. My ears flattened against my skull and I couldn’t help it when my face went red. Yeah, I should have known that’d be why they’d want me to come.
“God, I know this is my fault they’re feeling that way,” I thought to myself. “Me saying something made them say something, and now they’re gonna go fully down whatever road they’re on now because of me.”
“I– I mean, n-not that I should expect you to be helping me,” Caramel stuttered quickly, nervously. “I know you’re just a nine year old colt. I should be helping you if anything. O-or we could help each other. Or something. Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” I sighed. I closed my eyes and took a breath before deciding, “If I’m allowed to go, I’ll be there for you. I mean, I’m almost ten years older than you after all. I might not know much about being trans or whatever, but I can be moral support for whatever you’re gonna do.”
“Moral support. How am I supposed to be moral support when I know that this is explicitly immoral?” Except I was doing literally the exact same thing, so how on Earth could I possibly try and say what they were doing was immoral?
“Lord, just… please. Anything. I need at least a hint that I’m doing the right thing. I know I should be less judgmental since… but not being judgmental shouldn’t mean giving into whatever everypony wants, right?”
“Well, I’d really like it if you were there, Asher,” the pony told me shyly, rubbing one hoof behind the other. “I don’t know what it is, but you just seem like you have it all figured out and know exactly what you’re gonna do. It’s like you’ve done this all before.”
Hah. Now wasn’t that a statement. I’d had been through the whole ‘being a kid thing’ before, but I certainly wasn’t anywhere close to having whatever was happening figured out. I barely even knew what I was doing, and was mostly just guessing as I went along. But I figured it was that little hint that I asked for to see if I was doing the right thing, since they said they wanted me there.
“Well, I’m just older,” I said. “But yeah, I can be there. I just need to talk to Twilight first, and a couple of other ponies.”
“Thank you,” Caramel smiled. “It means a lot. I’ll see if Pinkie Pie can come, too, since she also knows about me.”
I didn’t know how comfortable I was being moral support, but there was a more important reason to be there anyway, which was to try and worm my way into Canterlot ponies’ circles. I hoped there was gonna be no issues with going there.
“Yeah, right. There’s always issues. You’re kidding yourself if you think everything will be hunky dorey.”
Twilight had no issues with my going to Canterlot with Caramel when I told her about it, and actually seemed kind of excited about the idea. So excited in fact that she decided she wanted to come with us, too. I tried to hint to her that she should stay in Ponyville, but she didn’t seem like she was picking up on what I was trying to say.
Golden Crest said he’d talk me up when I told him about it, and in fact offered to go with us to Canterlot, too, which was good. By proxy, that meant Silver Spoon was coming, too. So now our group was gonna be six ponies large; Twilight, Golden Crest, Silver Spoon, Pinkie Pie, Caramel, and me. I’m sure it was more than either of us were expecting, but I doubted that would affect anything.
I talked to ponies for a couple of days to make sure plans were in order, and then after that, there was nothing to do but plan out what I wanted to say. If the ponies there were more like Golden Crest, this should be fairly easy. If they were like Filthy Rich though, this could prove to be impossible. I expected to get a combination of both among them. But hopefully they cared more about money than they did about the fact that I looked like I was younger than they were.
All that was left to do from there was wait, and wait was what I did. It was another almost two months before we actually geared up to head out. Apparently Celestia got wind of our trip from who else but Twilight, and sent me a little letter telling me what she expected of me out there, because of course she still didn't trust me. Would she ever? Probably not. Did I really care though?
It was basically a reminder that I couldn’t bad mouth her while I was there, something I already learned not to do by this point. She also told me that I should be careful how I talk to ponies, because apparently Canterlot nobility could take offense to even little things. She seemed to have an idea in her head that I was looking to try and help businesses around Canterlot rather than get into politics, not that I was planning to correct her. If that’s what she thought, then that was what she thought. I never explicitly said I was looking to start a business in Canterlot, so she couldn’t blame me for what I did.
Oh, but she would try to. I already knew before I even went out there that she would try to.
Eventually the day came for us to head out, and our group of six ponies got on the train to Canterlot. Golden Crest told us that he got us accommodations in the city for the week that we’d be out there, including Caramel and Pinkie Pie, although Twilight said she’d be staying in Celestia’s castle because the princess wanted to talk to her for a while. I could only wonder what about.
We had an entire train car to ourselves, which was nice. I wasn’t sure why we needed it though; when I went to Ponyville from Canterlot with Celestia, it only took about four hours to get from one city to the other. Apparently though, because it was on top of the mountain, getting back might have taken only four hours, but getting up took a full sixteen to conserve energy.
The six of us got settled in and ate some lunch before exploring the car, noting a few bedrooms to sleep in when it got late. After that, we mostly just sat in the car and talked– most of us did, anyway. I watched Caramel pace back and forth across the small room, looking like they were thinking out what to say. I had a good idea what it was about.
“Is anything wrong?” Twilight finally asked, looking up from a book she was trying to read. The pony kept on pacing back and forth, and didn’t respond immediately. They stayed silent and breathed deeply for a long minute before finally answering.
“Um, I should probably be up front about this,” Caramel started nervously, practically stuttering as they spoke. They rubbed a hoof behind the other and had their eyes pointed down at the train floor. I was almost as nervous as they were, but only because I knew their actions were a direct result of my talking to them. If anything went badly, it would be my fault. Not that I expected anyone to complain about what I thought she was gonna say, except maybe Twilight. And myself, at least internally.
“I, um– I th-think I’d like it if everypony c-called me a mare…” I could tell it was taking all of Caramel’s strength to get the words out there. They looked up for a second to see Golden Crest’s confusion and Twilight’s eye roll, then stared back at the floor and kind of flinched back.
“I mean, unless it’s gonna be a hassle,” they said quickly, shyly. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not any hassle at all, ma’am,” Golden Crest quickly recovered, giving Caramel a kind smile. It elicited a bashful smile from the pony as he continued, “Is Asher taking after you now? Or are you taking after him?” The question made me turn my eyes to the floor in embarrassment.
“Oh! I know! I know!” I practically jumped at how loud Pinkie Pie was. “Asher talked to her at the party I threw for Twilight Sparkle during the Summer Sun Celebration and helped her be more confident in herself so she could ask to be called a mare! And he’s such a great colt that he probably talked to her before so she could tell us all that she wanted to be a mare and feel happy and smile when she’s called one!”
The smile on Caramel’s face was gigantic , so wide and happy that it made me just a little more sure that maybe this was okay. Maybe. Maybe that was just me trying to find a reason to say being a man was okay when God clearly turned me into a woman. Or maybe it was okay for them but not for me, since I’d explicitly been changed from a man to a woman… err, filly.
“Don’t think about all that right now,” I told myself, listening to the conversation between Golden Crest and Caramel as Pinkie Pie hopped around the train car we were in. Twilight was listening in, too, apparently, and had a scrunched up face because of what she heard. It was like Caramel just said they were gonna tear apart every book in her library.
“So you were the one who gave him the idea?” Twilight asked suspiciously, quietly, drawing me closer to her with her voice. “I mean, I can see how he’d come up with that if you did speak to him. After all, Princess Celestia said you acted different from everypony else, and I can kind of tell that, too. But he’s not a mare, and you’re not a stallion.”
That was a difficult comment to respond to because I didn’t know exactly what I should say. “I know I’m not a stallion and he’s not a mare,” I said. “But who does it hurt if you call somepony what they want to be called?”
I had to avoid cringing as I said it. What was I? The transgender rights defender? Certainly not. But it wasn’t like what I said wasn’t true. Just because other people were doing things that weren’t okay didn’t mean respect couldn’t be had anyway. It was one of the things I learned while staying with Lofty and Holiday.
“And besides, it feels nice to be called what I wanna be called,” I thought to myself.
“It hurts science, for one, since you’re blatantly going against what you are and trying to say you’re something you’re not,” she started. I rolled my eyes extremely hard as she continued, “And if you keep telling yourself you’re something you’re not, eventually it’s gonna start hurting you and eating at your mental state. I would think the best way to handle feeling bad about yourself is to look at the positives and accept yourself for who you are, not try and convince yourself and other ponies that you’re something else."
Oh, boy, wasn’t that exactly what I thought to myself back on Earth about trans people? In fact, I still thought the same thing now, although I did realize it was much more difficult than just having a positive outlook about yourself. Being dysphoric hurt .
“Well, whether or not I agree, I’m not in the business of starting fights,” I told her, another thing I said to myself on Earth. “I’m not gonna–”
I cut myself off before I finished my sentence. Caramel explicitly said they were looking at me for confidence and to help with insecurity. Twilight was smart enough to pick apart exactly what I was about to say, which would go directly against helping them like I said I would.
“What?”
“I’m not gonna call them something they don’t want to be called,” I said. There was only a half second pause before I added, “Because Celestia told me that I needed to respect everypony here, and I don’t want her yelling at me if I don’t and somepony gets mad.”
“Humph. Well, she told me I have to call you a colt, but that doesn’t mean I have to call him a mare.” She sat back down and crossed her hooves for a minute before picking her book back up with her magic, turning a page with an angry expression.
“Why can’t I just do it because it’s the right thing to do?” I thought to myself as I took a seat next to the mare. “I should be helping because it’s the right thing to do, not because I have to help. I’m being just as awful as she is.”
We had the exact same thought process and there was nothing she said that I disagreed with. The only difference was she was being external with her thoughts, versus me who stayed quiet. I knew speaking thoughts into words was worse, but that didn’t mean thinking bad things was okay. Why couldn’t I just be nice?
There was no good reason I had for me to be so hostile to Caramel, even if they didn’t know I was being that way. It was hard not to feel superior though and think that our situations were different even though I knew they really weren’t. My attitude toward Caramel was complete crap for no reason, and I knew that, but yet I was finding it impossible to work past that.
“Not like I don’t already think bad things every single time I think about how I'm– no, stop. Not getting into that.” Being depressed and dysphoric and feeling sorry for myself wasn’t what this trip was about. It was about getting to be a politician, and it was time to focus on that. At least it would help me drown out dysphoria.
I waited until Golden Crest got a free moment before I tried talking to the stallion. I talked to him earlier before we left, but I wanted to make clear we were on the same page.
“I talked to a few of the ponies in Canterlot,” he said when I brought it up to him. “Made sure that they knew I was introducing you to them beforehand, you know? The ponies out there are very particular about not being disrespected, and us showing up out of the blue would be looked at that way.”
I nodded, and said, “When are we gonna meet them?” I asked. “Do you think anypony would want to have me intern for them right away? Or is it a more ‘wait-and-see’ type deal?”
“Probably the latter. I went ahead and told them that you were a colt, so a good outfit for you would be in order. We can stop by the shops before we get to talking to ponies. Actually, that’s where we were headed anyway because Caramel said he wanted– err, she wanted something for herself.”
Yes, shops were good, but the conversation circling back to trans stuff, which I wanted to avoid. “What day are we gonna go meet ponies on?”
“There’s not a specific day,” he told me. “I don’t mean to put you down, but you’ll be hard pressed to find a day in the year where everypony in Canterlot can gather around to meet in one place, let alone meet just a colt. Now granted, you’re an extremely smart colt, but still just a colt.”
Yeah, I was still only nine years old, even though I was pretty sure I turned twenty six over the course of the summer that never seemed to end. But still, getting my hoof in the door would be good.
“Now why don’t you relax now, kiddo?” he finished. “Enjoy the ride. You don’t need to get all focused on that stuff yet. It’s important to remember to be a foal and have fun.” He smiled kindly as he finished talking, then Silver Spoon dragged me away to do something fun with her and Pinkie.
Nightmares were Luna’s business, as it had been before she became Nightmare Moon.
She’d been slowly getting back into the thick of things over the summer, and with a few months left before Nightmare Night, she could safely say she was once again up to speed on protecting ponies from the monsters that lay in their dreams.
She tried not to be discriminatory in who she helped– as much as she wanted to prioritize foals over adults and Canterlot citizens over the rest of Equestria, she made certain to visit an even number amount of dreams, carefully moving from one pony to the next to make sure everything was in order.
Of course, she didn’t always keep the rule– if she saw somepony who was particularly young or having a particularly bad dream, she would head directly over to them. Likewise, if it was somepony she knew, she would give that pony priority. In this case, the latter was what made her take exception, a sense of familiarity emanating from a nightmare being had by somepony on the train that made its way to Canterlot. She finished up her work in the dream of the pony she was in then and quickly entered into the one that now had her attention.
“Ah, it is Asher, is it not?” she asked as she swooped down to the filly, who was laying on her back staring up at nothing, dead eyed. The entire room was black and empty, a light from nowhere illuminating the filly in the darkness. It was one of the more strange scenes the princess came across.
“Fear not, for I’m here to banish your terrors to dust,” Luna announced confidently, hiding her confusion at the scene. “Show me the way to those who seek you harm.”
“I don’t think you’re gonna find them because they’re all in my head,” the filly said dully, turning over onto her side.
“Well yes, dreams do reside in a pony’s head, but my magic penetrates through your mind to ward off any demons that might seek you harm.”
“That’s not what I mean,” she sighed sadly. “I’m starting to forget what I even look and sound like… what I used to anyway.” She let out a breath, continuing, “Within another few hundred days, I’m gonna forget almost completely. I know what I’m supposed to look like, but I can’t put the picture together in my head correctly.”
“Ah, well, that’s an easy task,” Luna smiled. “Stay still, and I will bring your memories forward for you.” The mare closed her eyes and let her magic work over the filly, completely surrounding her in the transparent blue aura. Before long, she opened her eyes again, and the filly was gone. In her place was the strange bipedal creature she saw in Asher’s dreams before, except now with a much shorter mane that barely made it past one inch.
“Oh my gosh, you’re amazing,” he thanked her happily, now almost towering over her as he ran up to hug her. “I need a mirror though,” he continued. “I don’t wanna forget what I look like again.”
“Of course,” she said, conjuring one up. “Although if you’re ever afraid you’ve forgotten, consider it no trouble to contact me. The same thing can be done in real life, and a projection of yourself can be brought forth for you to view.”
“I assume it’s too much to ask that you’re able to turn me into a human in real life, isn’t it?” She shook her head no, and he continued, “Well, remembering what I look like is good anyway. At least I can be me in my dreams.” He examined himself in the mirror, finishing, “I’m pretty sure this is what I looked like before I came to Equestria. I must be twenty six by now.”
“While I inhabit your dreams,” the alicorn began, “may I ask what you are doing on a train approaching Canterlot?”
“Do you remember the last time I saw you, how you said I should get into politics? Well I’m doing that now… man, I love this body so much!” He turned to the mirror and looked at himself from side to side. Luna didn’t see anything particularly remarkable about it, but apparently the filly-turned-human did, smiling widely at the sight of himself.
“Man, I missed being a human so much,” he said happily. “Being a pony sucks, and being a girl sucks even more.”
“Well that certainly sounds like an interesting experience,” Luna said, a bit taken aback by his words, “but if that’s what you wish for out of your dreams, we are glad to be of service to you.” Before he could reply, she continued, “We do not remember you saying you would become a politician however. In fact, I do believe we specifically advised against it, even though you would be good at such things.”
Asher looked at her confused, opening his mouth to ask a question, but no words coming out for a long moment. “Okay,” he finally said after a while. “Well, I just thought it would be cool to do, and so now I’m doing it. That’s why I’m headed to Canterlot with Golden Crest. We’re gonna talk to a few people in the city and see what we could get in terms of an internship of being somepony’s understudy.”
“Mhm, I see. Well, we do wish you nothing but success. However, we should warn you that the nobility of Canterlot does not take especially well to ponies who are strange or go against the grain of what’s considered traditional.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Just that you should be careful about how you present yourself,” she told him. “If you say you’re a fully grown stallion when you look like a little filly, it’ll be much more difficult to tie yourself into the circle of ponies that rules Equestria, if that’s what you’re after. Be like they are, if possible.”
“Ugh. Of course they’re gonna be like that. I can’t say I’m surprised though. I wouldn’t want to– well, nothing. I don’t think I’m gonna say what I’m thinking out loud.” He paused, and then asked, “But is this you saying I should or I shouldn’t do this?”
“We’re not suggesting you should go about anything,” Luna clarified. “We’re only offering advice for what you should do if you chose this path for yourself.” It earned a confused, slightly suspicious look from the strange looking creature, and she continued, “I cannot make a decision for you; I can only suggest how to go about your actions if you decide for yourself this is what you wish to do.”
“So you’re not telling me to be a politician?” Asher asked.
“I am not.”
Another weird expression came from him, and Luna wore a confused one back. They stared into each other's eyes for a long moment before Asher finally looked away.
“Okay, if you say so.” Then he asked, “Do you think you could change this dream into something I want? Like, being able to go to my parents house or hanging out in my apartment with friends or something?”
“We surely could, and will,” she announced, lighting up her horn again. “Give us one moment.”
“I believe I had a strange interaction with the filly you’ve taken a dislike to,” Luna said at the table in the dining hall shortly before her sister rose the sun.
“Which filly is that?” Celestia asked carefully as she rubbed her eyes. “I don’t believe there’s a pony in all of Equestria who I feel anything other than love and affection for.”
“It’s the one who sent you into a fit several months ago,” the princess of the night continued, rubbing her own eyes. “Asher? We know you remember her from how often you write to your student about her. Many times your thoughts seem distracted, as though you’re thinking about her.”
Celestia frowned, but didn’t speak immediately. She didn’t dislike Asher, but she couldn’t say she had any fondness for her at all.
“Yes, I do know of her,” the white alicorn replied. “In fact, she’s coming to Canterlot with Twilight as we speak. She should be within the city soon. What about her do you believe is strange? When did you interact with her?”
“It was in her dreams just this night. She said she was looking to enter herself into Canterlot politics soon.” Celestia’s face hardened as her sister continued, “I have no issues with it of course; in fact, I think fondly of Asher, especially after the events of the recent holiday. But we’re letting you know because we know you have a certain disdain for her like you have had for nopony else in recent memory.”
“I hold no disdain for her,” Celestia said quickly, unsure if Luna believed her. “I dislike that her interference has affected plans I have set into motion, but I understand it’s not Asher’s fault.”
“Do you?”
“Yes , I do,” Celestia said forcefully. “I understand she’s not here of her own accord.” She heard the tone in her voice, and closed her eyes to take a breath and relax. She couldn’t let her emotions get out of control. It truly was not Asher’s fault that the things that were happening were playing out. She needed to keep that in mind.
“I have no qualms if she chooses to insert herself into the politics of Canterlot,” Celestia decided firmly. “If that’s her prerogative, I will not stand in her way. However, if she’s expecting to be treated differently from any other pony who approaches my court, she will be mistaken.”
“Sister,” Luna started carefully, “your disdain for her is exceptionally high. If you wish for her to not participate in Equestrian politics, simply be direct in telling her so. She already seeks to avoid confrontation with you. She’ll listen if you tell her to avoid such activities.”
Celestia wanted to. Oh, how she wanted to tell that filly to stay seated and be silent and not utter another word to anypony else. It drove the alicorn up the wall how much she disliked Asher’s interference in her plans, and could say she hated that deity she talked about if it turned out such a creature was real.
However, the princess kept those thoughts to herself, replying, “I have no issues. In fact, I would consider it a good thing. Any of my little ponies who seek to better the world around them shall not be hindered by me.”
“If you say so,” Luna replied, yawning and heading out of the room. “We shall take your word for it, as hard as it is to believe.”
The first place we went after we got off the train and checked into the hotel Golden Crest got for us was the clothing store. Caramel apparently had money to spend– not that I didn’t– and shyly went for a pretty expensive looking dress near the back of the store. I knew I couldn’t think whatever was in the back of my head about it since I was going for the exact opposite at the exact same time, finding a small, kid sized tuxedo to try on. I shut down any negative thoughts I might have had before and tried my best to just feel happy for them.
It was something small that happened, but a little moment while we were clothes shopping really put into perspective just how superior and uptight my attitude toward Caramel had been. The pony came out in a simple blue dress and a little top hat to show us the outfit they chose. As they got compliments on their outfit, a smile made its way onto their face. Not a smirk or a grin or an excited looking one; it was a small, bashful smile they had as they looked at the floor shyly. It looked like one that conveyed both nervousness about what they were doing, and happiness that it was worth it, and somehow just all of a sudden made me think about just how awful I was acting towards them.
“Yeah, you already knew you were being terrible,” I thought. “You act like that all the time, and always think about it, but never do anything about it. Either fix it, or just stop thinking about it. Thinking about how terrible you are doesn’t make you not terrible.”
Yup, I knew that, and even thought exactly that before, and still did nothing. It did not matter how terrible or immoral I thought what somepony was doing was. Everyone was still entitled to the same respect, both externally and internally.
“So stop being frustrated about how you’re acting and go say you’re sorry.”
I didn’t say anything right away, waiting for a moment when they went back to looking for other clothes before I said something.
“Hey, Caramel?” I started quietly, absolutely wanting to keep it to myself what I was about to say but knowing nothing would change if I did. They looked down at me with big eyes and a slightly confused expression, definitely not knowing what was coming next.
“I just wanted to say I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting to you,” I told them quickly. “You know, um, being kind of mean and uptight and acting like I’m better than you and stuff. You don’t deserve that, and I shouldn’t be thinking like that or acting like that.”
Caramel somehow surprised me by smiling instead of frowning at what I told them. “It’s okay,” they said. “I know you’re just a foal and are trying your best. I mean, we are in this together right?”
“Don’t be aggravated. Don't be aggravated. I’m trying to not feel exactly like this. It’s not her fault you look like a nine year old.” I did such a good job at pushing down my aggravation that I didn’t even immediately notice I thought about Caramel in the context of being a mare.
“Besides,” she continued, “you already helped me feel a lot more confident about myself. In more ways than one. I probably wouldn’t have been confident enough to try and put on a show in Canterlot if not for you, so you’ve already helped me more than you think.”
Was that true? I barely talked to her, probably only a dozen or so times over the course of the summer. But I guessed if Caramel said so, I would take it, and push down any negative feelings I had about ways I helped. My new goal was going to be to stop being so annoyingly uptight all the time, as hard as it would be to do. I needed to change my thinking, although I was pretty sure that wasn’t the first time I said that. Wasn’t I supposed to be using Twilight to remind myself of what not to be? It was like I was trying to emulate her with how I acted.
But now that it was on my mind, I actually stopped to think about who all I might have helped. I definitely helped my friends stop fighting with each other. I helped Caramel feel more confident. I helped Applejack fix her finances and start to be able to rebuild her property and do repairs. I helped Golden Crest pay his workers more. I was unsure if I helped Princess Luna, but if I did, it would’ve been passively. Who else?
I didn’t know about Twilight, but she seemed a little more chilled out than before? But I hadn’t known her for long enough to say one way or the other whether I was making any difference on her any measurable way. Not that I was trying to either way. I didn’t know if I had an impact, and if I did, what it would’ve been, but I certainly felt like I did. They definitely had an impact on me, I could say that much. I was certain if they hadn’t appeared in my life, I would’ve been more aggressive to Caramel.
I suddenly had a thought, and it was a thought that actually made sense. I wasn’t gonna be uptight and say I was already perfect; I wasn’t, and I knew that. If I was perfect, there’d be nothing to apologize to Caramel about and no frustration I held about our situations or bad thoughts to be thought. I definitely needed to be kinder, but maybe while I was doing that, I was also meant to be helping these ponies. Not that I was going out of my way to do so or making any special effort. But it seemed like, even though I thought nothing was happening, something actually was happening just by me being here and doing whatever. Maybe that’s why I was here.
That did not exempt me from getting better. That could not be used as an excuse to say I could do whatever I wanted. But maybe while they were helping me towards… I didn’t know, whatever God had planned for me, I could help them by… something else I didn’t know. I was really just guessing as to what I was doing. But it was a comforting thought to have anyway, that I was having an effect on creatures.
Even as uptight as I was being, it made me smile to think that I was helping ponies, even if that helped turned out to– no, I wasn’t gonna think about that. I was only gonna be happy that Caramel was feeling more confident, and not be so uptight and superior when I was literally doing the exact same thing.
I found a tuxedo to try on, which made me feel happy, although I didn’t think it was something that really suited me. What did suit me though was a shirt that looked like something I’d put on at church, one that was green and checkered and had long sleeves and a foldable collar. That was going to be my outfit for when I met whatever members of nobility Golden Crest was taking me to.
“And maybe that can be okay to do?” I thought to myself as I turned from side to side in the mirror, looking my presentation over. I did think I looked kind of nice in it, almost like a colt, and found myself wearing the same smile I saw Caramel with earlier. Maybe it was okay if she was a mare and I was a colt.
Maybe. Maybe it still wasn’t. It wasn’t a question I was ready to get into just yet. For now I’d settle for not acting so uptight and superior to Caramel all the time when I was literally doing the exact same thing and start acting like an actual friend. It’s what I did with Lofty and Holiday, wasn’t it?
Caramel spent more time trying on other dresses, but I settled for what I had and just bought the one thing. After we were done, we headed right over to the show she was planning to put on, a comedy show it looked like, except one exclusively for Canterlot nobility. She was only on for like fifteen minutes, and mostly did tricks and stand up– somehow, I was expecting something different– but she still got a few laughs and polite claps of hooves during the act. I didn’t know if they weren’t into it, were weirded out by her wearing a dress, or just always acted like that, but I did my best to show support. That’s why I was here after all.
As I did, I tried to get a good look at the ponies in attendance. There was one with a mustache and a monocle wearing a tuxedo, and one with blonde hair and a blue tie that made it seem like they were the most important two. At least, I assumed so since they were sitting slightly in front of everyone else and were in the center of the group.
Not that they were easy to keep track of. Half of them were white coated, and almost all of them were unicorns. Not a good sign if that wasn’t a coincidence. I had a gray coat and golden mane, which I figured was pretty close, but I wasn’t a unicorn. Hopefully that wouldn’t be a requirement. If it was, then I had gigantic, probably insurmountable, issues.
But I was gonna stay positive and trust that Golden Crest could talk me up enough to make that a non factor, if it even was a factor. Although if it was true, then it kind of explained why both Golden Crest and Filthy Rich only ever visited Canterlot while they lived in Ponyville.
At the hotel, he tried to tell me that it was nothing and probably was just a coincidence, but I didn’t know if he was just saying that to put me at ease. I normally would assume he was just being kind, but with how these ponies acted slightly different to humans, I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not. I decided I would take him at his word, but proceed with caution.
“We’ll meet them either tomorrow or the day after,” he told me. “Princess Celestia has day court, and they normally show up for that. You can sit in the stands and watch how things are done during that time and get a good feel for what it’s like being a politician.”
Oh. I was going to Celestia’s day court. Of course, things were gonna be awkward. Not that I was surprised. I just forgot that things were only allowed to be okay for a month at a time before they got dumb again.
“That’s the negative energy you need to get rid of,” I told myself. “Stop assuming the worst. If you assume the worst, you’re gonna get the worst. Maybe take a chance and try to think positive.”
Positive. I was gonna be positive. This was gonna work, and I was gonna make it work. I was gonna try and be positive. It wasn’t like negativity helped me so far anyway.
I was extremely nervous when I woke up, and had to wonder just how the white swan of a pony would react when she saw me. Hopefully she’d pretend to be neutral, but I couldn’t rule out her getting upset and yelling at me again. I knew either way that she wouldn't be happy.
Golden Crest could see how anxious I was, but assumed it was from getting ready to meet the ponies he talked me up to. “You’ll be fine. If they don’t like you, they’ll let you know, but these types are normally in it for the money. They’ll take whatever young star they can get their hooves on.”
Was this really a good idea though? Intentionally trying to insert myself into things that were gonna piss Celestia off? I knew the answer was probably not, but still. I was already this far. It was a little too late to back out now, with as nice as Golden Crest was.
He must have been reading my mind, because he said, “If you’re not up for this though, it’s okay. No fur off my back if you’re not wanting to do this. Politics is pretty intimidating, which is the reason I decided not to go into them. I’m sure you’d be a great business owner if you went that route.”
“I’m fine. Just nervous is all. Let me take a shower and get ready.”
I debated whether or not I should wear the tuxedo I just bought before deciding I should. Celestia might not like it– I wasn’t sure yet– but it wasn’t like it would affect anything. Besides, it made me happy, so long as I pushed down that feeling that I was doing what was wrong. If I could avoid thinking about these things, it wouldn’t be an issue.
Yeah, right.
But right now wasn’t the time to think about that. Instead, I stepped out with Golden Crest and Silver Spoon, watching as Twilight Sparkle followed along with us to the castle. It was just the same now as it was when I last saw it, although this time we went inside through a different entrance, one that led to a great hall and what looked like a courtroom with a bunch of other hallways branching off of it.
Celestia was sitting high atop her throne, looking down at each pony she was talking to, wearing a gentle smile as she did. She stole a quick glance our way, and definitely saw me– I thought she looked me right in the eyes– but didn’t comment or lose her current expression. That was good. I was half expecting her to go off right then and there.
The room had benches for ponies to sit on, and it seemed hundreds of them were already here. A quick look around showed that most had pads of paper and quills, basically writing down whatever she said. As they did, other ponies entered and made their way up to speak to her, asking her about numerous things, like law proposals or loan requests and whatever else there was. It seemed like most of these things were denied, and like she was just making decisions on the spot, either directly telling them no or saying it would be considered later and writing it down. Not once did she say yes to anyone’s request.
“Does she elect people to vote on these things?” I asked. “Or, like, appoint people or something? Or is she the sole decision maker?”
“No, she’s the one who makes all the decisions,” Golden Crest explained. “She has the authority to do that.”
“Unless you stop by Princess Luna’s new night court,” Twilight said. “But yes, she and Luna have the combined power to rule over Equestria in any way they see fit. So long as one sister isn’t directly answering no to a proposal, the other can let it be a yes and the proposal goes into effect.”
“So then how would someone get any sort of influence or persuade the princess?”
“Either they’d have to have an idea that’s good enough to make them swayed,” the purple unicorn continued “or they’d have to demonstrate the vast appeal of whatever they’re proposing.”
Wow. That sounded much less like politics and much more like ‘give me an idea and I might entertain it’. That wasn’t really something I cared very much about getting into, being a glorified advisor. It really took the wind out of my sails.
Golden Crest definitely saw the dejected look on my face, and asked, “How did you expect to be going about this? She’s the princess. You can’t really tell her what to do, only ask or try to persuade.”
Yeah, I figured that. “Is there anything else we could do?” I asked. “What else do ponies do besides asking Celestia to do things for them?”
“If she likes you, she can appoint you to her advisory council,” Twilight said. “They’re the ponies who help her try to make decisions, although she still gets the final say. That’s what ponies like Prince Blueblood and Fancy Pants do. Or if you want to, you could run to be a district representative and make requests to her on other ponies’ behalf.”
“Or I could just walk up to her and ask her what I want, too,” I said. “Why do you need a district representative if they don’t actually do anything and anypony can come up and speak to her during her court hours?”
“Not everyone has the time or energy to head out to talk to Princess Celestia. Mostly, it’s just ponies who are richer and older and have free time on their hands. Most ponies meet once a month and just tell their representative what to do.”
Yeah, this was not sounding like what I envisioned, but I couldn’t say I was surprised. An absolute monarchy was what this was, something I basically already knew. What was I expecting to see?
“If you were looking to make your own impact, you could run for mayor of Canterlot or another city. Then you can work without interference, unless Princess Celestia directs you to stop or start doing something specific.”
“You could be a business owner,” Golden Crest said. “The ponies with the most influence over Princess Celestia have businesses they run, outside of Prince Blueblood, who’s her nephew. I’m sure you’ve heard the expression that money talks.”
This was not shaping up to be what I expected at all, and that fact alone was already deterring me. Then a thought came to mind.
“What about Princess Luna. Does she operate her court the same way?”
“I’m fairly certain she does,” Twilight explained. “She only started getting back into her job of ruling over Equestria, so I’m not sure. As far as I know though, she does things the same way. It’s much less busy at night, too, I can imagine.”
Now that might have been a way in, since Princess Luna seemed to like me. Or maybe she just felt bad about hurting me, but either way, I was sure I could definitely convince her of a few changes that should’ve been made to Equestria if I went that route.
Except Celestia would be very angry if I did so, and then she’d just likely revert them back. No, if I really wanted to do this, going through the white princess directly would be the best move.
Not to mention, just the idea of going through Luna to try and get to Celestia felt terrible, like something a villain out of a story would do. I wasn’t going to use her like that, even if I wasn’t really trying to do anything bad. Just the thought of it put a frown on my face.
I was starting to realize it probably wasn’t worth it to go down this road. If politics here weren’t similar to politics in the United States, there was going to be a sharp learning curve for figuring out the exact details, even sharper than I was already facing just trying to live in this world. How people operated businesses here was already weird, but at least I already knew how to do that. Maybe that was the best idea.
Princess Celestia seemed to have other ideas though.
All of a sudden, she was standing up and gracefully swooping down from the chair on her throne, standing tall in front of Twilight, Golden Crest and I. The latter bowed his head, but Twilight only gave a friendly wave and a smile. I tried not to look so uneasy by her presence, but she didn’t seem to be here to chew me out. She was still smiling gently, although I knew that could’ve just been a front she was putting up.
“Hello Asher, Twilight, and my other little ponies,” she greeted politely as she stretched out her wings. “I would say I’m surprised by your being here, but Princess Luna informed me of your coming arrival the previous day. Needless to say, it’s wonderful to see you again.”
I wasn’t sure she actually thought that, but I didn’t comment on it, my mind more on the fact that Luna told her I was coming here. Naturally the first thought that came to mind was that she actually wanted to stir up trouble, but once again, knowing how everypony in this world operated, she probably didn’t even think about what that might mean if she said something. That didn’t make it less annoying though.
“We didn’t mean to interrupt you, Princess,” Twilight Sparkle said as Golden Crest lifted himself off the ground. “We’re not bothering you by watching your court, are we?”
“Absolutely not,” she assured her gently, putting a wing on her shoulder. “In fact, I do consider it good that you showed up here today. I was looking for the opportunity to speak to Asher when I could, and now he’s in front of me.”
I could only guess what she wanted to tell me. Probably that I was doing something wrong doing this, and that I’d have to find something else to do.
“My sister told me she discussed with you about becoming a politician, did she not?” she started. She didn’t wait for me to answer as she said, “If you truly are interested, I would be willing to offer you a position on my advisory council if you would like it. Once you turn fourteen, of course. But if it’s something you wish, I would love to offer my hoof in helping you succeed. It would be a valuable experience if you sought to be mayor or governor of any part of Equestria.”
Okay, that might have been the very last thing I expected to hear from her. What was she planning? I couldn’t imagine that it was anything good, if only because I saw firsthand how much she disliked me.
It wasn’t something Golden Crest knew about though, of course. “Well, well, well Asher,” he whistled. “I didn’t know you already had it in good with Princess Celestia. Somepony must have really talked you up.” The white princess giggled at what she heard. I guessed it was kind of ironic that he thought that.
“Um, well, sure, if you’re willing,” I agreed, a cautious tone in my voice. “I wouldn’t want to get in the way of anything important.” Nope, no way would I want to do that. In fact, just the fact that she was offering almost made me flat out say 'no'. Doing what she wanted wasn't what I was interested in.
“If you’d like, we can discuss the details this evening after day court concludes. Or if it’s preferable, I can mail out information to you. I understand that you probably have other activities to participate in outside of watching the court all day.”
“Uh, yeah, mail would be good, please.” No way was I going to leave myself alone with her again. Not yet anyway. I needed time to think about what she might have been planning.
“Thank you, uh, princess,” I finished politely. “I appreciate it.”
“It’s not any trouble in the slightest,” she told me, putting sweetness into her voice. “I must get back to the court however. I unfortunately don’t have time to stand around all day. Thank you all for stopping by to visit.” And then she stretched her wings out again, floating back up to her throne and leaving hundreds of ponies watching us. Only for a couple of seconds though. It wasn’t long before they turned their attention back to the winged unicorn.
Golden Crest congratulated me, saying that he didn’t know how I got her attention, but was proud of me anyway. He patted me on the back, and we watched the court for a couple of more minutes before leaving. I couldn’t say though how I felt about that whole exchange.
“Is she trying to keep me close to her?” I wondered silently. “What’s her plan?” I had no idea, but I hoped it wouldn’t be anything too outrageous.
Author's Note
One more chapter, and then a time skip and a sequel and a hecking lot more words.
Celestia felt good about this.
Keeping Asher close would be a great thing. Making sure she wasn’t working against her would be beneficial, since the filly definitely had the capacity to manipulate the world around her, both intentionally and unintentionally. There was a risk that she would convince her sister to do something against what she desired, or even having herself convinced of such things, But it was an acceptable risk if she could mitigate her influence. Or better yet, mold her into a pony she could use to advance her goals. Asher was quite a charismatic pony, in her estimation.
The filly left after a while, leaving the alicorn alone to finish court, a couple of noble ponies remaining after the sun went down. She was certain that she knew what questions were coming.
“Who was that filly?” her nephew, Prince Blueblood asked. “I heard you suggesting that she join your advisory council. Do you know her intimately?”
“I do indeed, and believe she would be best served if she was placed onto it once she became of age. She has the potential to shape the environment around her, and I think it would be best if she were under the guidance and control of those who know how to keep Equestria running effectively. I believe her potential for chaos is high.”
“I see, and that makes sense,” he nodded. “Is it acceptable if I spoke with her this afternoon? Where is she located? Where can I mail a letter?”
“If you deliver it to my student, Twilight Sparkle, it will be received by her.”
“I see. Then a letter shall be sent, and a visit will be made. I heard a stallion from Ponyville discussing with me her potential, although he mentioned it in relation to her ability to operate businesses effectively and increase profit. He claimed that his own business was doing better, and that raises were given to his employees as a result. A mind for such things would be extremely beneficial to us, as well as to the finances of Equestria if what I hear is true.”
So then she was being talked up. That wasn’t a surprise, with how she carried herself. Filthy Rich sure made a ruckus over her behavior. But hopefully she was having a positive effect on her environment and not a negative one, like before.
The conversation ended with that, and she dispersed herself to dinner with her sister, who was just waking up. Luna yawned tiredly, and politely asked how the day went.
“It was good, although as busy as it always is. I did see Asher though, just like you said, and I do believe it was clear that she was seeking political engagement in Equestria. Because of this, I offered her a position on my council once she turns fourteen.”
Luna nodded politely, but didn’t say anything at first, instead sipping coffee carefully. When she did speak, she said, “And you have no qualms about this? Are you not upset?”
“I explained to you before that I was not upset, and said that I would not be hindering her movements. Perhaps she’s not from Equestria, but now she is one of my little ponies. As a result, she will be treated as such.”
“I see. In any case, we consider it beneficial that you are moving past such issues. If we can though, we would like to visit with her before Night Court begins, so we may catch up with her. Or rather, him.”
“Do as you wish. You’re not under my jurisdiction, sister, and if you were, I would still find no issue with it.”
Yes, she did find issue with it. She found issue with important ponies speaking to the filly and having their minds potentially influenced by her as she seemed to do so easily. She had even more issue with her trying to enter politics, a move that seemed to be purely antagonistic. But she could put them aside, at least in public, since telling her off for doing such things and asserting her authority only made Asher more antagonistic it seemed.
Besides, this way she could keep her watchful eye on her and make sure she didn’t step out of line. If she did, Princess Celestia would surely put a stop to it.
A whole lot of ponies were staring at us– at me – when we stepped out of the castle, probably still in awe that the princess came down specifically to talk to me. Apparently, it caused enough of a scene that everyone wanted to ask questions. I couldn’t say I was very surprised.
“What was she like?” “What did she tell you?” “How did you get to meet with the princess?” “Does she know you?” It was basically the grown up version of the way Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and company treated me when I told them about going to the castle. These ponies were just as much her fanatics as they were, but I wasn’t very surprised. I guess I couldn’t really speak about it with them either. How different was I, really?
I mostly brushed them off, although I was interested when a couple of those white ponies came up and introduced themselves as Prince Blueblood and Fancy Pants. They did indeed look like fancy princes, so their names were fitting. Just as well dressed now as they were the day before, although they were still wearing the same clothes now. I don’t know why I noticed that, but it was interesting.
“You’re the colt Golden Crest here has spoken to us about,” Fancy Pants started, then leaned down to get a closer look at my face. He had a confused look on his face, and raised an eyebrow a moment later. I knew what he was about to say.
“You’re a filly?” he asked. “We were told you were a colt.”
“I have a genetic condition,” I said flatly. Still not technically a lie, but it felt like one anyway. I wished I could think of something different to say as an explanation.
“What sort would that be?” the other one, Prince Blueblood asked as he bent around to get a look at me. “I see no marks that you’ve been gelded or faced a similar circumstance.”
“I’d rather you not look at my flank, please?” I asked, blushing deeply. “Either way, I don’t see how that matters.”
“Well, it matters, as in this city, we typically keep stallions business to stallions and mares business to mare.”
Well, wasn’t that a statement. They must have seen the frustrated look on my face, because Fancy Pants started to explain further.
“Mares typically hold positions like ruling and law making, whereas stallions work in fields such as business or financial services. Things such as advising the princess are considered neutral, as is the tradition of Canterlot, and Equestria at large.”
“So no stallion has ever been mayor of a place? Because I’m definitely sure that I saw mares owning businesses.” I almost called out the fact that he was a prince, but stopped myself short.
“As far as I can recall, that’s correct in that stallions have never held positions of power, such as mayoral seats or governorships. That’s not to say stallions cannot do these things, or that mares cannot own business; it’s just how tradition shapes Equestria. Most ponies follow these things subconsciously.”
Well wasn’t that a new wrinkle? I guess it made sense though. After all, Princess Celestia said she was gonna pick Twilight Sparkle to take her place as ruler of Equestria when she retired rather than just letting her nephew have her place. Didn’t make it less frustrating though.
“Golden Crest has told us about your skills in helping him operate his business, and we must say, it’s quite impressive. However, in our case, we’d rather find a stallion to mentor in that aspect than a filly, as is tradition.”
“And I assume me telling you that I’m a colt won’t change anything, will it?”
“Not unless you can prove such, no.”
“I’m unsure why you would want to be under our tutelage in any case,” the prince started again. “The princess herself has already stated that she would appoint you to her advisory council when you become of age, did she not? Why would you aim lower than what you’re already receiving?”
“Well, would you be willing to tutor me in politics?” I asked. “Like, showing me how to be a representative or make good judgements on what ponies want?”
“Oh, well, of course. If you’ve already gotten the princess’s favor, that would be no issue if you were seeking that. Golden Crest had us under the impression you were a colt seeking tutoring for financial management.”
“Well, I do want to own a business, too,” I said, “and I am a colt, but–”
“Now if you’re going to assert yourself as being a colt, I’m unsure about how far our tutelage can go,” Fancy Pants interrupted. “It will become an issue if Canterlot citizens believe Prince Blueblood and I to be rejecting the traditions of Equestria, and we shall not stand for that.”
I wasn’t going to get frustrated by this. I was not going to get frustrated. I was getting somewhere with what I wanted to do, and I had to keep that in mind. The ends justified the means.
“Except why am I doing this at all? What’s the point?” Sure, I wanted Equestria to change, mostly because of my disdain for Celestia, but was it really worth going to these lengths to accomplish it? I didn’t think so.
“Except your not going to complain because this was exactly what you wanted. You knew this was what you were getting into, so don’t get upset now that things won’t be all sunshines and rainbows.”
I let out the longest sigh of my life. “I understand,” I said, knowing it would hurt but wanting to move forward anyway. I set out to do exactly this, and I couldn’t really complain now that they were giving me the opportunity, even if I knew what came with it.
“When do I actually start learning from under you?” I asked.
“I believe one year before you come of age would be sufficient,” Fancy Pants said. “How old are you now?”
“Nine years old? I think?”
“Well then once you are thirteen, that would be good. We will be remaining in regular contact with you, and should this proceed, we do expect you to remain in contact with us.” Then he let out his hoof to shake and finished, “It has been fine making your acquaintance, Asher. We look forward to meeting you.” And then I shook both of their hooves, and that was it.
“Was that really it?” I asked. “Just as simple as that?”
“Having the princess back you up certainly makes ponies turn their heads your way, much more than I was able to do for you,” Golden Crest said. “Not great that they’re gonna be calling you a filly, but overall, that was a positive! You’re gonna be well past anything I could hope for by the time your half my age!”
Yes, it was a net positive. This was a positive , and I had to look at it that way. I set out to get myself roped into politics like this, and went and did exactly that. Mission accomplished.
“Is something wrong?” Twilight asked. “You don’t look exactly happy about that conversation.”
“It’s nothing. I’m just kind of in shock, I guess. I didn’t expect this all to be done in a day, and now I’m not really sure what else there is to do except wait around for four years.” More like ten years in Earth time.
“Well, maybe you just have that kind of persuasion, or luck. You do need a little bit of both to make it far in Canterlot, and it seems like you have it.”
“Hmm. Yeah, I guess I am.” And I really was. For someone who was an alien in a strange world and not really knowing what he was doing, I sure was making a lot of progress. And making friends, and finding some kind ponies, and dealing with people who hated me and having internal issues, and helping people and basically everything that came along with life on Earth. Except as a pony. And a girl. Maybe this was a fresh start. A fresh start as something I didn’t want to be in a place I didn’t want to be, but a fresh start nonetheless.
“Ha. Yeah right.”
Okay, maybe not a fresh start. It was more like I was trying to make the most of a new opportunity. Or maybe just keep my head above water as I floundered around without the slightest clue what I was doing. But I guess it was better to be a filly in Equestria than it was for God to do something like make me a kid in China in 500 BC or something. I didn’t know how much better it was, but it was at least a little bit. I would still have rather stayed on Earth though. But it wasn’t like I got to choose anything else so far, why would that change now?
“Lord, thank you for this opportunity,” I prayed silently, trying my hardest to feel grateful. “I’m going to make the most of it.” At least, I would try to.
Hopefully.
Author's Note
Wooooo the end of part 1! Finally! If you liked it, consider reading the sequel, "Within You", which can be found here
You can also join my discord here: https://discord.gg/RTnx9HpRUu
If you hated the story... I'm sorry? But thank you for reading to the end?
Man, this is a long story...
The sound of hooves and voices drifted into Sweetie Belle’s sleep. She heard a thud and a pony yelling, followed by a grunt and the sound of hooves running away. A few moments later, she heard more yelling, this time in the distance, then silence as running hooves faded away. She considered waking up for a second, but decided against it, at least until she felt something.
“Uh, what- what is that?” Sweetie Belle asked sleepily, rubbing her eyes. She sniffed, starting, “Is that- did you wet the bed, Scootaloo?”
“No,” Scootaloo answered with a yawn. “I think Asher did, and now Aunt Holiday is probably helping her get cleaned up.”
“Oh. I guess that’s why she didn’t want to sleep in the bed with us earlier.”
“Yeah…” Scootaloo paused, rubbing her eyes, then continued, “I think she fell off the bed and hit her head, too.”
“Is she okay?”
“I don’t know.”
“Girls?” a voice asked as a mare entered the still dark room. “Are you awake?”
“Yeah,” Scootaloo answered, rubbing her eyes again. “Asher wet the bed, and I think she hit her head.”
“That's what Aunt Holiday told me. She's with her now taking her to the hospital.”
“Wait, really? Is she okay?”
“I think she’ll be okay, but we just want to make sure.”
“Oh, okay.”
There was a silence building as Lofty considered how to start what she wanted to say next. While she did know that it wasn't going to be permanent, she didn't know how this was going to work exactly yet. Still, though, she felt like she should mention it to her now so she wasn't caught off guard later.
“How would you feel, Scootaloo,” she started, “if Asher stayed with us for a little while?”
“Wait, really?” Scooatloo asked, her eyes widening. “Yes!”
“Now it’s not a guarantee, it’s just a possibility. Aunt Holiday and I will talk to you more about it tomorrow... or I guess today, seeing as it's almost waking up time as it is."
“Yay! Asher gets to stay in Ponyville!” Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle exclaimed excitedly at the same time.
“So just to be clear, we said that, while sleeping over at your house, she wet the bed, woke up confused and disoriented, and then fainted and hit her head falling on the ground?” Redheart asked. “Is that correct?”
“Yes, that’s right,” Holiday answered.
“And you were in the room when this happened?”
“Yes I was.”
The nurse wrote down her words, squinting as she did so. “Where are her parents?” she asked.
“We don’t know,” Cheerilee broke in, watching the conversation between them take place. “She claims they aren’t ponies, and from what one of my students told me, she was found lying on the ground just before sunrise yesterday.” She paused, then added, “Mayor Mare and I decided that it would be best for her to stay with Lofty and Holiday for the time being.”
The three of them were talking softly next to Asher as she lay in a hospital bed. It was early morning, the sun expected to be risen up in the sky in just a couple of hours, when Holiday brought the filly in. On the way over, she stopped by to get Cheerilee, who was normally awake at this time. From there, they headed over to Ponyville General, and were now talking to nurse Redheart about the filly.
“I see…” the nurse trailed off as she cast a glance at Asher. She was silent for a second as she wrote, then continued, “In any case, from what you’re telling me, it sounds like she fell over from exhaustion as soon as she woke up and hit her head that way.”
“Are you sure?” Holiday asked with concern. “What if it’s something else? She told me yesterday that she was feeling sick.”
“She told me the same thing during class, too,” Cheerilee added. “She walked weirdly, almost with a limp, and honestly seemed confused and anxious of everything around her. I- I’m honestly concerned she doesn’t even know how to read. I think she might have lied about her name, too. She said it was Asher, but it sounded to me like she was going to say something different.”
Redheart did think it was a bit peculiar what they were saying, but decided not to comment on it. "I understand," she told them. "When she wakes up, I’ll make sure to speak to her about all of that. I’ll be back in a few minutes to check more on her.”
Bright lights and the sound of voices forced me awake.
I could feel the sensation of someone’s hand in my hair as I cracked an eye open. Bright lights and white walls filled my vision, completely unlike the home I was used to. There was a dresser and a computer monitor and a curtain covered in flowers that was meant to separate different areas of the place I was in. It was a very bizarre sight, and I couldn’t immediately tell where I was.
“Oh, my head hurts,” I thought as I looked down at my silver-coated hooves. “Was I in an accident? I don’t remember getting hurt…”
I must have made a noise, a sound of discomfort, because the person whose hand was in my hair said something to me.
“Hey, it’s okay,” a woman whispered in a voice I recognized, but couldn’t immediately place. “It’s okay,” she said. “Just stay still. You’re gonna be okay.”
I continued to stare at my appendages, trying to understand what I was looking at. They seemed incredibly familiar and out of place at the same time, and for a second I couldn’t quite figure out why. They seemed normal, normal enough for hooves anyway, and had a nice bright color that I quite liked.
“Wait, hooves?” I finally realized. “Why do I have hooves? What is going on?”
I turned my head to look up and saw two horses that I knew I recognized, one with a red-tinted coat and hair that reminded me of fire, the other with a pinkish white mane and a dark magenta colored coat. The sight of them threw me completely off, and I struggled to make sense of what I was seeing.
“Miss Holiday and Miss Cheerilee?” I thought. “What are they doing here? What is going on?”
All of a sudden, it clicked. This was the dream I had. The dream that turned out to be real. I remembered the entire previous day. My appearance, meeting those two girls, the school day, going to sleep… I was supposed to wake up at home. This was supposed to have been over. And yet I was still here.
“What am I still doing here?” I fearfully thought to myself. “I’m not supposed to be here. God, why is this happening to me? What is going on?”
I tried my very best not to start freaking out right then, but I could already feel my muscles tense up and my breathing become faster. For the second or third time in less than a day, I could feel tears form as my teeth chattered at the prospect of being here and what it all meant, but I tried to force myself to stay calm. However, I knew I wasn’t doing a very good job by the way Holiday talked to me.
“Hey, it’s okay,” she told me, Cheerilee gazing sympathetically at me as Holiday wrapped me in a hug. “The nurse is going to be back here really soon. I promise.”
“I’m not supposed to be here…” I whispered shakily, looking back down at my hooves tearfully. “I need to go home…”
I watched the silver legs in front of me shake as my breathing continued to get faster. I could feel my heart beating quicker and harder and my chest starting to hurt as I looked around the small area, hoping something would prove that I wasn't actually here. Suddenly though, my body was turned so that I was facing someone.
“Look at me, Asher,” Cheerilee asserted forcefully as she stared me in the eye. She put a hoof on one of mine and continued, “It’s going to be okay. I know you don’t feel okay right now, but you’re going to be okay.”
“I- I…” I closed my eyes and put a hoof on my chest. “Oh, I feel like I’m having a heart attack.”
“I’ll go get the nurse,” Holiday said, getting up as Cheerilee continued to stare into my eyes, putting a hoof in my hair.
“I want you to take some slow, deep breaths, okay?” the teacher told me, much softer this time. I tried to follow her directions, but it was difficult to fight the panicky feeling welling up inside me. Nevertheless, I found myself very, very slowly started to calm down as I felt her hoof stroke my mane in a relaxing sort of motion. It seemed like she knew what she was doing, which wasn't that surprising to me, seeing as she was a school teacher.
"I know you might be scared right now, but you're going to be okay."
I absolutely hated this feeling I had, this feeling that I was trapped here no matter what. I didn’t want to be this… animal ! I was the wrong age, the wrong sex, the wrong species, and in the wrong world, and it absolutely terrified me. However, before I could start to get worked up again, I watched as someone else entered the room.
“Look who’s awake!” Redheart said with a smile as she entered. She immediately saw the look on the filly’s face as she did so, and approached softly, Holiday following behind her. “How are you feeling?” the mare asked.
The silver-coated filly sniffed. “I’m not supposed to be here,” she got out. She knew it was childlike, but at that point, she couldn’t help it. She felt like everything around her was crumbling, and she was just barely hanging on.
“I want to go home,” she continued.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Redheart replied sympathetically. “I promise we’ll try to get you home. But first, I’d like to give you a checkup and talk to you privately. Is that okay?”
“I guess…” she answered quietly, Cheerilee and Holiday taking this as their cue to exit the curtained off area.
“Is it okay if I just started by asking what your name is?”
“A-a-ashley…” the filly sniffed out, then realized what she said and quickly tried to take it back. “I mean, I’m sorry. It’s- it’s Asher.”
“Hey, I think Ashley is a very nice name,” she told her, almost whispering as she used a hoof to move some hair from in front of the filly’s eyes. “Is it okay if I called you that?” she asked.
“I- I don't… I… I guess,” she got out, keeping herself composed enough to avoid crying.
“Can I ask what your parents' names are, Ashley?”
“Garnet and Opal…”
“Garnet and Opal,” Redheart repeated as she wrote the names down. “How old are you, Ashley?”
She didn’t immediately answer, instead taking a second to take a deep breath as she felt herself becoming anxious. She knew exactly what would happen when she answered her question. She knew it would seem utterly ridiculous to the nurse, and knew that if she was on the other side, it would seem that way to her, too.
“You’re not going to believe me…” she said quietly.
“Why wouldn’t I believe you?”
The filly paused for a moment, then sniffed and said, “Because I’m almost twenty-five…”
“Oh, uh, okay…” the nurse trailed off, unsure how to react. “That’s, uh…”
“You don’t believe me…”
“Hey, now,” she tried to tell her. “I never said I don’t believe you-”
“But I know you don't because this isn’t supposed to be happening to me,” the filly got out. “All of this, it’s… it’s not supposed to be happening to me. I’m not supposed to be here… Oh, Lord, why are you letting this happen to me? This shouldn’t be happening!”
“Hey, hey now,” Redheart started as she watched the filly start go get herself worked up. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”
“It’s not going to be okay…” she gasped. “This shouldn’t be happening…”
“It’s going to be okay,” the mare asserted, putting a hoof around her and rubbing her shoulder. “You’re going to be okay, Ashley.”
“Please don’t call me that,” Asher choked out, once again fighting back tears. “I really don’t want to be called that. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. You don’t need to be sorry. I’ll call you Asher if that’s what you want.”
Asher used her hooves to wipe her eyes. “I’m too old to be acting like this. I’m sorry."
“You don’t need to be sorry. I should be sorry for making you uncomfortable.”
Asher sniffed. “I don’t normally get upset by the name Ashley,” she said. "It’s just… it’s just... everything! So much of everything right now!”
"I promise, it's going to be okay," she said as she leaned down to look at her head. “Why don't we start that check-up now, hmm? Do you hear ringing in your ears or see double?”
“No…”
“That’s good. Do you feel light headed or nauseous at all?” The filly shook her head, immediately regretting it as she did so. “I don't think you're going to want to shake your head right now, Ashley- I mean, Asher. Do you remember what happened when you woke up?”
“This morning or yesterday?” Asher asked, her voice cracking a bit.
“Why don’t we start with this morning, when you were in Miss Holiday’s house.”
The filly blushed slightly, saying, “I woke up because I peed, then I passed out again and hit my head.”
“Oh, that must’ve hurt. Were you scared?”
I knew exactly where this was going, and I wanted to put an end to it before it began. I closed my eyes and took a few breaths before answering her.
“I was afraid because I’m not supposed to be here. I thought I would be back home in my normal body when I woke up, and I wasn’t, and… and I want to go home.”
I couldn’t help but add that to the end. I’d never been homesick before, but at that moment, I was feeling an absolutely soul-crushing wave of homesickness, one that made me just want to ball up and cry, and extreme anxiety at the thought that I would be trapped here forever.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” the nurse told me sympathetically. “I promise, we’ll do everything we can to get you home. But can I ask what you mean when you say you thought you would be back in your “normal body”?
“I mean I’m not a pony,” I told her, almost as a matter of fact.
“You’re not a pony?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. I shook my head, and despite the fact that I knew she didn’t believe me, she continued on. “That’s interesting, because you sure look like a pony to me."
"I'm not," I managed to say in a small voice.
She was silent for a second, probably debating whether or not I was lying, crazy, or had a concussion, before she continued. "Well, in any case, it looks like you hit your head really hard when you fell, hard enough to leave a bruise… do you know when your last checkup was, Asher?”
“No,” I told her honestly.
“Well, in that case, I think we’ll give you a full checkup. Can you open your mouth for me, please?”
I was on Celestia’s back again as she carried me to her dining hall after asking if I wanted to go there or eat in the room, deciding on the former. I figured it was better to see what there was to see instead of staying cooped up the whole time, even if I was sick, and it turned out to be the right decision. It was quite the sight, featuring a long table that extended over a red and gold carpet from one end of the room to the other, with a huge golden chandelier positioned over it. There were also multiple other tables in the room that I assumed would be for other guests, each having a good view of the large stain glass windows that lined the wall on each side of a golden door that lead to somewhere else. Just based on the sight, I almost expected the table in front of us to be already piled high with food to eat, but luckily, it was empty, which I thought was a nice sight to see. At least this princess wasn’t going to waste food it seemed.
“What would you like to eat?” she asked me as she set me down at the head of one side of the table. “Don’t tell other ponies, but I, myself, do enjoy a few slices of bacon every once in a while.”
“Bacon would be nice, please,” I responded, quickly realizing she was trying to make me not as self-conscious about asking for meat products. “And oatmeal if you have it, if that’s okay,” I added.
“Both of those things are absolutely fine,” she told me with a gentle smile. “I’ll have one of my chefs cook it right up for you.”
“Thank you,” I told her politely, watching as she wrote something down and then curiously letting it be burned to ash by a green flame before walking over to take a seat at the other end of the table. It seemed weird, like quite a long distance to be sitting and supposedly having a conversation, but somehow when she started to speak, her words sounded as though they were right next to me.
“Before we begin discussing other matters, I would like to ask how your time in Equestria has been so far, despite its relative briefness. I trust it has been well?”
“I mean, I guess,” I answered. “As well as it can be, given the circumstances.”
“How have you been adjusting?” she asked.
“Not great,” I responded. “I know I should be handling things better but… it’s hard… every day I’ve just been slapped with something different, and it’s been making it difficult.”
“Something different?”
“It’s probably normal for all of you, but, like, on Tuesday, I suddenly changed into a pony and was flown way too high all of a sudden by that girl, Rainbow Dash. On Wednesday I was thrown a party by that pink pony. On Thursday, I started school “officially” I guess, even though I went in on Tuesday. On Friday, I got sick, and now it’s Saturday and I’m talking to the pony princess who raises the sun and says she’s thousands of years old! It’s like I’m in a children’s show! It’s all just been… ugh, it makes me nervous and I don’t like it.”
“I understand,” she told me, not that I was sure she did. “I can only think about how difficult it would be to change from one species to another and be brought into a strange land and not know why. It would be concerning if you weren’t stressed.”
“I know, but I really try not to be. I don’t like being all… wait, how long did you say a year was? One thousand days?” I asked as a scary thought just came to me.
“Yes, one thousand days exactly.”
“One thousand days a year…” I got out nervously, feeling my stress return. “That means if I live to be eighty years old here, I’ll be… well over two hundred. Do- do ponies live that long here?”
“Yes, we do,” she calmly answered, “although eighty is a bit on the younger side. Because we age slower in comparison to the creatures in your world, we also die at older ages, one hundred twenty to one hundred thirty being considered typical. However, I’m certain if you took care of your body and with a bit of luck you could live to be past one hundred sixty. I believe the owner of Sweet Apple Acres in Ponyville recently turned one hundred forty… although I would need to check to see when Ponyville was founded to be sure.”
“Oh, I don’t like that one bit,” I said, closing my eyes. “This is what I’m talking about. It’s just one thing after- wait, what do you mean ‘age slower’? Are you talking about actually growing up?”
“While the age range of rapid growth is likely the same for your kind as it is for ours, that rapid growth isn’t nearly as quick in comparison, and as a result, we live quite a bit longer than your kind. If I’m not mistaken, the average age of death where you come from is fifty?”
“It’s, like, eighty-five I think, but… we’re talking about a thousand days per year, so even if I died at fifty years old, I’d still be… ugh, I don’t like this at all.”
“Dying at fifty would be almost tragically short,” Celestia replied simply as I put my head on the table. “And while it’s much longer than what you’re used to compared to where you’re from and can be scary, you might look at it as an opportunity? If that would help you.”
“I really don’t like this,” I said again. “It’s like everything is set up to contradict… ugh!” I slammed my hooves into the table, then immediately regretted it because the volume of the noise made my head pound.
“Lord, why?” I silently prayed. “I just wish I knew why… I ask for you to give me the strength to continue on, even as scary and impossible as what’s revealed seems to be. I ask that…”
I felt that first tiny inkling of doubt in God starting to form as I prayed, and quickly stopped mid-sentence to change what I was asking for.
“I ask that even in the face of everything, you help me to keep my faith in you strong. In your son Jesus name, I pray, amen.”
I sighed once I was finished, noticing Celestia watching me carefully, and said, “I assume going back isn’t an option? Not that I think God would want me to.” I couldn’t help but have the words out a bit bitterly as I looked at the carpet, trying my best to catch myself.
“I do not believe it will be, simply because all the worldgates we had have since been destroyed. As well, we didn’t properly figure out how to reconstruct them, seeing no need to learn how. I’m sure one could be built, but as I previously told you, we’re speaking on the timescale of years or decades, at which point…”
“Oh, I already know I’m going to be here forever,” I said sadly, my voice cracking as I turned my head to the side and sniffed, then sneezed. “I’m going to be stuck as a pony for the rest of my life and I’m never going to see any of my friends and family again… and there’s nothing I can do about it, except cry I guess...”
I didn’t cry, but I did close my eyes, feeling the pony’s wing rubbing my back comfortingly a few moments later.
“It is hard, yes, but we must…” She didn’t finish her sentence, trailing off and letting the silence hang in the air.
“I’m sorry for getting emotional,” I sighed after a few moments. “I’m just… getting upset and nervous and doubtful when I shouldn’t be because I’m trapped in a world full of ponies as a dumb little girl.”
“I understand,” she responded, letting out a sigh of her own. “Although, about being a filly, I did want to speak with you on that.”
“Okay…?”
She wore a grimace for a moment before starting, “When you say you are a male, are you saying so because you’ve always felt you were a male, or because you’ve always physically been a male?”
“Both,” I answered. “I’ve never been a girl and I’ve never seen myself as one. I am a boy and have always been a boy.”
“Okay… well, on the off chance that it was a worldgate that did this to you and not a deity-”
“It was God. I know that for a fact.”
“Yes, but on the off chance-”
“There is no off chance,” I interrupted. “He absolutely positively did. You can’t explain any of this with Him not doing this.”
“Okay, I understand that,” she explained slowly, “But on the off chance that… never mind. Let’s just move on.”
Celestia was going to say that it was possible that the filly has always seen herself as a mare if the change was the result of a worldgate, but quickly dropped it once she saw that she just wasn’t going to listen to her or accept that possibility. It didn’t really matter to press it anyway. Whether or not she did or didn’t, she was a filly now, and changing that fact would be even more difficult than creating another worldgate.
“Anyway, I did want to discuss the fact that, even though you are a colt, you are currently resembling a filly.”
Asher blushed and looked at her hooves as she grimaced, telling her, “I know what you’re going to say, and it makes me a little uncomfortable.”
“What was I going to say?” she asked as she tilted her head.
“You’re going to say that you can’t do anything,” she replied. “And even if you could do something, I’m not sure if I’d let you because… argh!”
“What is it?”
“If God made me a girl, then that’s what I’m supposed to be, isn’t it? I can’t just go around saying I’m a boy because… ugh!” She put her head in her hand in frustration, weakly pulling her mane. “Why is this happening? This cannot be real...”
Celestia went silent for a moment before asking, “You said before you thought you were supposed to be learning a lesson?”
She huffed and answered, “Yeah, maybe, about why it’s not okay to be transphobic. I wasn’t mean out loud, but… I’m such an awful person…”
“Well,” the princess started, trying to change tactics, “you said this deity was benevolent, so how do you know you haven’t been gifted with something?”
“I guess that’s possible,” she agreed, sniffing again, “but it’s really, really hard to get into that mindset… I’m sorry.”
“That’s understandable, but perhaps thinking of it as so will help you acclimate better? I mean, this deity would have to have chosen you of all creatures to be brought here, even if it was to learn a lesson. I would imagine that being a great honor.”
“Yeah… that’s true,” Asher agreed, starting to feel a little bit better.
“So perhaps keeping that in mind will help you? Knowing that a creature you describe as benevolent wouldn’t lead you astray or abandon you?”
“Yeah…” she agreed, giving a tiny smile. “I know you don’t believe He exists, but hearing that from someone else really does help reorient me. Thank you.”
“No trouble at all, sir,” Celestia replied, rubbing her back a little bit more with her wing. “Although I would like to get back on the topic of you being a filly.”
“Okay…”
“I don’t believe we’ll be able to do very much about that. Body magic is… quite difficult, as well as risky.”
She blushed at that, her ears pressing down against her skull, saying, “I expected you to say that, and I know what you’re gonna tell me… and I really don’t want to be a girl.”
“I understand, but I do think it would be best if you got used to the fact.” Asher sighed sadly at that, lowering her head, and Celestia continued, “We can see what we can do, but I’m not sure we’ll be able to do much. I do believe it would be better if you grew accustomed to that fact now.”
“And then what?” she asked quietly. “I realize that I actually like being a girl? Or do I blush and cringe at myself every time someone calls me one for the rest of my life?” She stopped to take a breath before continuing, “I know that it’s better to think of this as an opportunity, but this is… a lot…”
She closed her eyes and took a few more breaths to stay calm, thinking to herself, “Think of this as a gift. If I need to learn a lesson, then I’m blessed to have the opportunity to learn it. Even if it is hard, I know that God wouldn’t give me more than I can handle.”
Rainbow Dash was hurt, she could tell that much, her wings feeling like they were at the very least sprained as she was flung into multiple ponies before eventually hitting the door. In hindsight, it might not have been smart to throw hooves with a pony who was so much bigger than her, and an alicorn at that. But to be fair, she looked and sounded evil, and couldn’t just let her get away with whatever she was planning.
The rainbow-maned pegasus sat up and shook her head, stretching her wings painfully for a moment before bringing them back to her sides. She would be grounded for at least a few weeks, the thought of which annoyed her, but she at least hoped she gave whoever that awful pony was something to think about, trying to steal Princess Celestia’s throne.
“That could’ve gone better,” the mare thought to herself. “I thought I got a good hit on her. Maybe-”
Suddenly, she heard a scream, one that sounded like a foal, and looked up to see the silver filly she’d met a couple of times before falling to the ground. She didn’t stop to think about it and quickly reacted, flying over to catch Asher before she hit the ground. She landed hard on top of her, mostly being caught by her back and wings, and she let out a sharp yelp of pain. As it happened, in the back of her mind she thought about the fact that if her wings weren’t broken before, they definitely were now.
“Oh my gosh I hate this place!” the silver coated filly yelled with tears in her eyes as she wrapped her hooves tightly around Rainbow Dash’s neck. “I just want to go home! I hate it here!” She still had her eyes closed as she said it and shivered, clenching her jaw so as not to cry.
“Hey Asher, it’s okay,” Lofty consoled her, she and Holiday upon her in a heartbeat as they comforted her while she sat on the wings of the pegasus. “It’s okay now,” she told her as she petted her with a wing. “Everything’s okay. You’re fine now. It’s okay.”
“It’s not fine!” she yelled angrily as her breathing quickened. “I shouldn’t be here! I don’t want to be here! And this is Celestia’s fault anyway! She’s just letting this-”
Suddenly, she was interrupted by Nightmare Moon, who loudly asked to the room, “Is there anypony here who knows my name?” She asked it with anger and fury in her voice, looking ready to start hurting the citizens of Ponyville if she didn’t get an answer.
“I know who you are,” somepony, Twilight Sparkle, called out loudly, using a hoof to point in her direction, seemingly fearless. “You’re the mare in the moon, Nightmare Moon!” The crowd gasped at that revelation as Nightmare Moon flew down to greet her, the purple unicorn standing her ground and scowling at her.
“Well, well, well, what have we here?” the alicorn asked. “Somepony who remembers me. I’m sure you also know why I’m here now. Tell me, what is it?”
“You’re here to… to…” she trailed off, looking away for a second, turning her attention back to the moon for a second before finishing, “to bring eternal night!”
Nightmare Moon laughed at that, telling the crowd, “Remember this day, little ponies, for it shall be your last! From this moment forth, the night will last forever!”
With that, she let out a loud, evil bellow, creating a cloud of smoke to wrap herself in, the sound of thunder and bright flashes of lightning surrounding her. The crowd gasped in fear at the unicorn, however, the members of the Royal Guard who were present quickly flew up to her to face her. They were unable to get very close before being struck down though, lightning hitting them and sending them flying to the floor. The alicorn didn’t linger for much longer, fully encasing herself in blue smoke before flying away out the door, into the night.
“Okay, that… was more than a little bit scary…” I thought to myself as I tried to process what happened, just now realizing that I was shaking hard from my encounter with Celestia’s sister. “I don’t like this world at all, and I know for a fact that I don’t like Celestia. She’s just letting me be in danger for no good reason, not to mention all these other ponies. And she said that was her sister… oh, I don’t like this world at all. I just want to go home. Lord, I ask that you keep me and all these other people safe, even in spite of what that princess is planning.”
I took a few deep breaths and rubbed away the tears that tried to form as I tried to stay calm. Lofty was still rubbing my back, which helped a little bit, and I closed my eyes for a few seconds to exhale deeply. I was fine now, and everything was okay. Well, not really, but I wasn’t falling anymore or trapped in an almost demonic looking pony’s grasp, so that was a start. Stay calm, don’t cry, and act like an adult as best I could. It was my motto for the last few days, and it certainly applied here.
“Hey, kid,” Rainbow Dash suddenly said, sounding out of breath, “I know I saved you and all, but can you get off of me now? You’re crushing me.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I got out as I quickly scrambled off of her, turning to thank her before catching my breath at the sight of her. “Oh my gosh, your wing looks really bad! I’m sorry!”
“Huh, this?” she tried to say cooly but obviously wincing as she lifted it up. “Not gonna lie, it hurts now, but this’ll be all healed up in a few days.”
“That looks like it’s going to take longer than a few days,” I responded, grimacing at the sight of it. “It’s just… not good! That looks like it’ll take months to heal!”
“It’ll be fine, Asher,” Holiday told me, putting a hoof on my shoulder and directing me away from her. “I’ve seen worse from Lofty, like that time she tried to carry me. It looks bad now, but I’m sure she’ll be up and flying again within a week.”
“Or a few days with how Scootaloo talks about her,” Lofty chimed in. “But, uh, she does need to get to a doctor. Can somepony help me fly her over to Ponyville General? You stay here with them, Holiday.”
“I’m gonna trust that it’s going to be okay, cause that looks awful. Like, a person on Earth would have to rehab for months after something like that. I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash.”
“Don’t sweat it Asher. It’s no trouble. I’m just glad you’re not hurt. Besides, it’d be worse if you were a unicorn, since their bodies are more fragile. But we don’t have many of those in Ponyville, so it’s all good. Still hurts like hell, though.”
“I’m still sorry for hurting you, but this is all her fault.”
“Who's fault is it now?” Lofty asked as she and some other pegasus started to pick up Rainbow carefully.
“Celestia’s! She was the one who said she was gonna have…” I looked around for her student to point her out to them, but couldn’t find her anymore amongst the crowd that mostly stood still chattering amongst themselves or trying to help up the other armor plated ponies who were hit by that pony’s, Nightmare Moon’s, lightning.
“Where did she go?” I asked aloud as I looked around, unable to find her. “She was just here!”
“Who was, dear?”
“That pony that Celestia said would… never mind. I’ll explain it to you later. The point is this is all Celestia’s fault because she wants her student to do something for her or teach her a lesson. I forgot what she said exactly, but she wanted this to happen.”
“Well, I would like to hear about that,” Holiday told me, “but first, we need to get you fil- err, foals home and bandaged up. You have some cuts on you we need to treat.”
“But what about Rainbow Dash and Aunty Lofty?” Sooctaloo asked, disappointed that she wasn’t able to go with the two to the hospital, having already started to get going.
“Plus, our sleepover!” Sweetie Belle added. “We were going to go to Diamond’s house!”
“Well, looks like that’s been cancelled given the circumstances. Actually, you girls and Asher can stay over at our home for the night… err… as long as whatever’s happening lasts. Come along, now. I don’t think it’s very safe to stay here.”
“Elements, elements, elements…” Twilight muttered to herself as she tossed around books. She was safely back in her library, having run from the scene once Nightmare moon took off. She didn’t want to waste any time in figuring out what to do, stopping only to put her baby dragon, Spike, to sleep.
“Ugh, how can I stop Nightmare Moon without the Elements of Harmony?” she asked herself aloud as she continued throwing books. “What am I going to do?”
“And just what are the Elements of Harmony?” somepony asked, flying up to the mare suddenly and startling her. It was a pegasus Twilight remembered from earlier that evening, Lightning Dust, eyeing her suspiciously as she continued, “And how did you know about that alicorn, huh? Are you working with her?”
“What? Of course not! I’m trying to-”
“Oh yeah?” the pegasus interrupted, getting in her face. “Then how come you left so quickly? What are you up to?”
“Calm down, darling,” Rarity said, trailed by the three other ponies who Twilight spoke to at the party not too long before. “I hardly think she’s plotting anything with… well, whoever that pony was. In fact, I think we ought to listen to her, since she seems to be somepony who knows what’s going on, right Twilight?”
Twilight stared at them, debating internally whether or not to divulge what she knew. She bit her lip as she tried to decide before sighing and telling them about Nightmare Moon. She quickly explained who she was and how to stop them, the five ponies before her listening intently.
“But I don’t know what they are or where to find them,” she finished. “I don’t even know what they do!”
“The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide,” Pinkie Pie suddenly called out, staring at the book sitting on the library shelf. She was quickly pushed out of the way by the purple unicorn who grabbed the book and quickly skimmed through it, reading its contents aloud to the group.
“It says here the last known location of the Elements is in the ancient castle of the Royal Pony Sisters, located in what is now… the- the Everfree Forest…”
“Oh my,” Fluttershy squeaked out. “That’s certainly not good.”
“I agree with you on that, Fluttershy,” Rarity said. “That’s certainly not a place I’d want to be wandering into at night.”
“Eeyup,” eeyuped Big Mac.
“Don’t think we have much of a choice guys,” Lightning Dust said. “She said she wanted to make the night last forever, and I don’t know about you, but I like my sun napping.”
“Well, I don’t know what we’re waiting for then! If we have to save Ponyville, then I say let's go!”
“Well, umm…” Twilight started anxiously, “I appreciate the offer, really I do, but… I’d rather do this on my own, if it’s no trouble.”
“Well it certainly seems like your asking for trouble, dear,” Rarity told her. “You expect to go into that dreadful forest without us? It’s absolutely preposterous.”
“You’re not really going to follow me there, are you guys?” the mare asked, almost more afraid of that than she was of going after the Elements of Harmony and facing Nightmare Moon. “You should stay here where it’s safe.”
“Eenope. Us Apples ain’t about leavin’ a friend hangin’.”
“Yeah, silly! What kind of friends would we be if we let you go face that meanie pants all alone? Bad ones, that’s what! We just threw a new pony party and everything!”
“Besides, I just wanna go after that pony! If we save Princess Celestia from whoever that Nightmare Moon mare is, I’ll be a wonderbolt in no time!”
Twilight rolled her eyes at that thought, and, realizing quickly that she wouldn’t be able to get them off of her, decided, “Fine, but you have to be careful, and listen to what I say. Who knows what’s in that forest…”
Author's Note
Okay, I'm actually debating which road to pick. Do I...
I didn’t sleep that night, reading the book on Canterlot politics. It wasn’t really a guide, more of a history book, but it did provide some good information. It explained how there were three pony tribes that banded together to drive away Windigoes and bring good weather to Equestria, and then went into detail about how Celestia and Nightmare Moon rose to power in the hundreds of years since then. Apparently, they ruled together for a few thousand years before the latter tried to stage a coup against her and keep the moon up forever.
Twilight looked over my shoulder as I read and explained a few things when I asked. She also asked me more questions about Earth and its politics. I gave a brief history of the world and the US, and explained the concept of the US government. Honestly, it was a nice conversation, one she seemed interested in.
The librarian was yawning by the time the sun came up, but I wasn’t. “I’m gonna head off to bed for the night… err, day. Are you gonna stay awake?”
“Yeah. I can’t fix my sleep schedule if I go to bed now. I’m gonna stay up as long as I can. Besides, I’m not tired.”
“Well, make sure to keep it down if you’re gonna be up. Good night.”
With that, she trotted off, leaving me sitting alone. I wondered what our relationship could be like as I read a little bit more. That dragon was right when he said Twilight and I acted similarly. Although I couldn't say I was OCD like her. Or just flat-out mean.
“As if I’m much better. Apparently it took being super dysphoric to realize it pays to be nice to people.”
I quickly let that thought end where it was. I didn’t want to let my thoughts spiral and be reminded of what I was. It was better to stay focused on other things if I could.
I read for a couple of more hours before heading out, Celestia’s sun shining brighter than usual. I didn’t waste time heading over to where Caramel said their house was, before long being let in by the pony. Their home was a sight to see, the walls pink with blue trims and pictures of phrases like you’d find in the home of a forty-five year old woman hanging on the wall. Not to mention, they had makeup on and their eyelashes done up, clearly trying to appear more feminine. In a word, it was girly, and it was extremely weird and off-putting.
“Yeah, I shouldn’t have encouraged all of this,” I thought to myself, extremely uncomfortable with being here now. But I was already here, and couldn’t just leave without being weird and rude myself. Besides, it wasn’t like I didn't have a boyish haircut on right then to make myself feel better, too.
“I just wanted to ask if there was anything I could help you with,” I said quickly as I stood in the doorway, not willing to go inside. “I don’t wanna spend all day fooling around and doing nothing. Do you have a job I can do or help you with?”
“Oh, I was just gonna go work on Apple Jack’s farm like I always do. You can come with me if you want.”
I didn’t know what they were doing with their voice, but it sounded different, higher pitched than it was before. It only made me more unsettled. I did want to have respect, but I wasn’t in the business of encouraging all of this.
I didn’t comment on it though, instead following behind the pony to the farm they worked at. Most of it from what I could tell was an apple orchard, but I gasped when I saw the farm itself. It was not great, looking like it was in a state of disrepair. Fences were broken and the barn was beaten up and the house at the center of it all looked like it had a lot of work that needed to be done. We even passed by a tree house that looked like it was ready to fall out of the tree. It was bad .
“I guess I have a use for my time,” I thought, “although rebuilding a farm wasn’t what I was expecting. How in the world did they let this get so bad?”
“Hey, Asher?” Caramel started, their eyes pointed down at their hooves. “Can I ask a question of you?”
“Sure, what’s that?”
“How, um… how do you keep from being insecure?”
“What? What do you mean?” I had an eyebrow raised in complete confusion.
“Well, I mean… you’re just so confident about being yourself, and wearing a colt’s haircut and not really caring what other ponies think, and here I am, being super insecure about wearing makeup.”
This was the kind of conversation I wanted to avoid because I had no idea what to do. I did not want to enable this pony. I knew I was doing the exact same thing as Caramel, but it still felt different for me than it did for them, and the idea that I might be enabling them made me extremely uncomfortable.
“You’re not pressuring them. You’re not enabling them. They’re an adult, and you, from their point of view, are a child. There’s no way you can change any of what they’re gonna do.”
“Our situations aren’t the same at all,” I started, “but I have a mindset that I don’t care what other people think. I only care what God thinks… which I guess doesn’t really apply to you. But I guess the main thing is to follow your moral code and use your best judgment wherever you go. If you do that, then everything else should fall into place.”
“Wait, who’s God?”
“God is… a topic I’m not gonna talk about while we’re standing up. That’s something I have to sit down for so I can think out what I want to say. I guess in your case you’d follow what…” I did not want to say ‘your heart’, because I knew hearts could make bad decisions. Even more than that, I didn’t want to say ‘Princess Celesita’. I wasn’t going to speak badly about her, but I certainly wasn’t going to condone following her.
“Anyway,” the pony said, speaking after a few seconds of my silent pause, “that’s not really what I’m asking. I mean, how do you have the courage to go out and be yourself?”
“Oh. Yeah. Well, if someone says something to me, I know who I am, and I am what I am. And I guess in my head, it’s outrageous and uncomfortable to be seen as a girl because that’s not what I am. I mean… I don’t know! I’m not trans. Well, not really , anyway.”
Oh, this conversation was going to make me dysphoric as heck. I was intentionally trying not to think about all of this. If I got in my head all of this, it was just gonna lead to me wondering whether or not I was really supposed to be a girl and if I was doing the wrong thing trying to assert myself as a boy, and I still wasn’t in a headspace to get into all of that because I was afraid the answer was going to be yes.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel weird.”
“It’s fine,” I replied. “I just didn’t come out here to talk about this stuff. I actually came out here to specifically not think about all of this. Anyway, what do you do?”
Caramel showed me around and showed how they collected apples from the trees. They explained that they didn’t usually do this kind of work, normally tending to the farm itself, but the pony who normally did it was out sick in bed with diphtheria. It made me feel bad because I knew for sure they got it from me.
We walked around for a while collecting apples until somepony came out. It was an orange one with a blonde mane and three apples on her butt. She also looked extremely sick, like she wanted anything but to be out here. It made my ears flatten against my head in shame.
“Hey there Caramel,” the pony started as she made her way up to us, having a thick country accent. “Glad ta see ya here helpin’ with the apples today. And who’s this little colt ya brought along… err filly. Filly? And are you wearin’ makeup, Caramel?”
“I- I was just experimenting, you know?” they said, their voice dropping back into their normal range. “There’s a- a cl-clown show in Apploosa coming up in a few weeks, and I want to be prepared.” The way they said it, it almost looked like it was physically painful for them to force the words out. I knew exactly what they were thinking the implication of their words was.
“A-anyway, this here is Asher. I brought him because he said he wanted to help me out with stuff because he doesn’t want to sit around all summer.”
“Well, he sounds like he’s got a good head on his shoulders ta me,” the mare said tiredly. “That being said, he looks like a filly from where Ah’m standin’.”
“I have a genetic condition,” I responded, figuring it would be easier than explaining myself. That was probably the first straight out lie I’d told since I became a pony, something I hated. It made me feel awful to lie, even if lying itself wasn’t necessarily a sin. This might have been edging on sinning though.
“Um, I’m sorry I got you sick,” I offered up in apology, feeling bad about the state she looked like she was in and wanting to say something despite her not knowing. “I was the first one to have diphtheria because I wasn’t vaccinated, and it looks like it made its way to you.”
“Awh, shucks, it’s not yer fault, sweetheart,” she told me, me unable to help but make a face at the word ‘sweetheart’. “Ah’m glad ya apologized ta me though, and are here ta help Caramel with these apples. There aren’t too many responsible young, uh, foals like you, Ah’ll say. Although ya oughta meet my little sister, Applebloom. Ah’ll say, she’s a model young filly.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” I replied politely. “I’m glad we can help you though while you’re sick, especially since it was me that got you sick. It might give you more time to rest up.”
“Nawh. Ah appreciate ya, but Ah probably ain’t gonna be able ta rest. There’s repairs that need ta be made to the farm, if ya can’t tell. Ah’ve been behind on them for years at this point.” She sighed, muttering, “Would help if we could make more money.”
Those words got my attention. “You’re having trouble with money?”
“Heh, not any trouble little fillies should be concernin’ themselves with.”
I ignored being called a girl as I pressed, “You have an entire field full of apples and an entire world of ponies to sell to. If conventional wisdom holds true, then I expect ponies to like apples as much as regular horses.”
“Don’t get me wrong, ponies buy them, and Apple Family apples are the best in all of Equestria, but it’s barely enough for us to just buy the things we need day ta day, let alone make repairs and stuff.”
That got alarm bells going off in my head. There was something being screwed up in her finances, and I wanted to know what it was.
“Is there another company you’re competing with for apples?” I asked.
“Company? Oh, you mean like a farm. Nawh, we’re the only ones who sell apples in Ponyville.”
“Okay, if you’re the only one who sells apples, and I’ll take your word that your apples are the best in the world, then you should be in the black. Unless the price of goods in Ponyville is just unbelievably high, then you’re underselling.”
“Ah don’t know if Ah’m undersellin’, but Ah like ta charge a nice, fair price for my apples. Would be dishonest ta do otherwise.”
“And what exactly is a fair price to you?” I asked. “How are you able to determine that? Or actually, we might wanna sit down so we can have an economics lesson.”
