Changing Of The Guards

by Closer-To-The-Sun

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Royal Guard, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1212

A new day at Canterlot Castle means there's a new after action report that details what happened the night before.

"The palace of mirrors,/Where dog soldiers are reflected." -Bob Dylan, 'Changing Of The Guards'

It's a brand new morning at Canterlot Castle and with the shift change of the Royal Guard comes the after action report that chronicles the incidents from the previous night. What transpired the night before?

Published 2020-07-01 21:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-07-01 21:20:00 UTC

Changing Of The Guards

A big yawn came from the earth pony as he trotted through the halls of the castle. It was a brand new day had begun in the Canterlot Castle, and the royal guard pony began to make his way to report to his post. While he hadn’t fully woken up, he was hoping that the coffee in the Royal Guard office would help make the armor and helmet on his grey coat and purple mane feel less heavy.

Upon trotting into the office, he was greeted by a few familiar faces. They were a mixture of guards from the previous night’s watch as well as a new batch to begin the day’s shift, similar to his own.

“G’morning, Flint,” one of the fellow guards greeted.

“Morning,” Flint replied with a yawn, “Please tell me somepony put a fresh pot of coffee on.”

“Right over here,” another guard directed Flint toward them, “want cream or sugar?”

Flint scoffed as he trotted over toward them, “Come on, you know how I take my coffee each morning, Starshine.”

“Got it, bitter it is,” she commented.

As Flint began to pour himself a cup, another guard called over to him, “Hey Flint, since you’re second in command for the daytime shift, you’re gonna want to read up on last night’s incident report.”

The guard took a sip of his coffee, “Alright, alright, I’m on my way.” Coffee in hoof, Flint trotted over to his fellow guard at his desk.

“Here you are,” they said holding up a few pieces of parchment that were stapled together.

“Thanks, Nimbus,” Flint said as he took the report in his hooves. He sat down with both the parchment and coffee and began to read through the report.

NIGHTLY AFTER ACTION REPORT FOR CANTERLOT CASTLE

CANTERLOT ROYAL GUARD

6:10 PM: The drapes behind the thrones in the Royal Throne Room fell and draped themselves over the chairs. Neither Princess Celestia or Princess Luna were present and no personnel were harmed. Further inspection concluded that a small tear was present and had grown to cause the drapes to fall. Investigation is ongoing.

7:03 PM: Assistance requested after a potted plant in Corridor Gamma appeared to be knocked over during a scuffle. Witnesses claim it was knocked over by an unknown royal assistant while galloping through the halls in a hurried state. Janitorial staff was requested to assist with cleaning.

Note: Five bits says it was the intern again -Tattermane

8:32 PM: Emergency call for assistance in South Ballroom. Members of staff have claimed that their mop had moved on it’s own accord and “had a mind of its own”, claiming it to be a changeling in disguise. The mop was moved to a holding cell at Royal Guard Headquarters for further interrogation and investigation.

9:51 PM: Reports received regarding unusual sounds coming from within the Royal Library. Patrol guards investigated the sounds and found the royal possum, Tiberius, roaming around. Subject was returned to Princess Luna’s chambers with minimal resistance.

Note: Minimal resistance, my flank! He almost clawed my eye out! -Nimbus

10:21 PM: Royal Guard members were called to break up a gathering of castle staff in the South Ballroom. The group were encircled around a pair of individuals who were engaging in what is known as a “freestyle rap battle”. Dispersing of the crowd was delayed by fifteen minutes, as the reporting Royal Guard members joined the spectators in watching. Crowd consensus concluded that, while both performed well, the janitor known as “Sweepy” claimed victory over baker Sugar Sweet.

11:44 PM: Reports received regarding unusual sounds coming from within the East Wing Kitchen. Upon entering to investigate, Royal Guard members found Princess Celestia inside proceeding to [REDACTED BY ROYAL DECREE]. No further action was taken.

Note: We are not allowed to talk about this incident any further. -Huckleberry

12:24 AM: Royal Guard member, Cobalt, was injured at his post at the North Gate. Upon interview and investigation, it was discovered that he was injured as he was attempting to perform his “sweet martial art moves”. Guard personnel interviewing Cobalt erupted in laughter at his admission of what transpired. Guard member Cobalt has been scolded and is expected to use his vacation days to recover from his injuries.

3:10 AM: Patrol guards report graffiti on the outer castle walls, roughly thirty meters east of the main gate. Guards on the scene believed to have seen the perpetrator fleeing the scene. They attempted pursuit but lost the suspect. A composite sketch has been shared amongst the guards as well as the castle staff and have been told to keep an eye out for said perpetrator. They have been described as looking like “a small earth pony with what looked like four ears”. The graffiti spells “El Bloomo” in red spray paint. Suspect still at large.

3:57 AM: Emergency call for assistance in the East Wing Kitchen. Upon arriving, the castle kitchen staff member claimed to hear “otherworldly howls” of ghosts haunting the kitchen as she was prepping for the day's meals. Upon further investigation, one of the kitchen refrigerators was pressed up against the wall, causing the strange sound. Guard members worked together to move the refrigerator away from the wall, causing the noise to cease. The kitchen staff member felt embarrassed and offered banana bread to the Royal Guard members as a token of their appreciation.

Note: It was good banana bread. -Starshine

5:38 AM: A group of wild animals broken into the Royal Garden. Royal Guard members report that at least five deer, four raccoons, and a number of different unidentified rodents entered the garden and proceeded to eat the various plants. With the assistance of the castle garden staff, the wild animals were escorted off castle premises. Damage is being currently assessed.

6:12 AM: (Follow up to 8:32 PM report from previous day) Mop released from holding cell and returned to the janitorial closet located near the South Ballroom.

Note: It was a mop. That’s all it was. We actually imprisoned a mop. -Huckleberry

6:48 AM: Royal Guard was called to assist in helping Princess Celestia wake up. A Royal Guard member, Pine Breeze, was accidentally struck by Princess Celestia in what has been described as “a grumpy swing of [her] hoof”. Pine Breeze was sent to the infirmary shortly after the incident, to which Princess Celestia followed, apologizing and begging forgiveness. Sources say that Pine Breeze has accepted the Princess’ apology. Pine Breeze will be absent until next week while he recovers from a broken muzzle.

7:00 AM: Shift change.

Flint finished reading the report and looked over to Nimbus who had finished gathering her items to leave, “Looks like you all had fun last night.”

“Same old, same old,” Nimbus said as she stood up. With a smile, she trotted out of the office, “Good luck today.”

END