Rainbow Lost to the Breeze

by AndNoOneSingsMeLullabies

Rating: mature
Tags: Non-consensual, Sex, Violence, Dark, Gore, Porn, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Zephyr Breeze
Length: 5501

Zephyr Breeze gets sick of waiting for Rainbow to admit her feelings, so he takes matters into his own hooves.

Zephyr Breeze captures Rainbow Dash and intends to make her all his.

THIS STORY CONTAINS GRAPHIC RAPE, GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE AND TORTURE, AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF THAT YOU PROBABLY WON'T LIKE. DO NOT READ IF THE WARNINGS BELOW TURN YOU AWAY.

Warnings: graphic rape, torture, dismemberment, some light scat, piss drinking, violence, and Zephyr Breeze

Published 2020-07-08 01:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-07-08 01:50:01 UTC

Rainbow Rape

Author's Note

Hi, do you want to read nearly 5500 words of rape and torture? If the answer is no, then please just leave your downvote at the door and move on. If yes, welcome to my story of Zephyr raping and torturing Rainbow Dash. That's it, that's the plot. This is not a complex story, but hopefully it will be fun to those who enjoy this stuff.

Anyway, hope you enjoy it.

Rainbow Rape

Opening her eyes, Rainbow Dash could tell immediately that she was in a bad situation. She found herself in a pitch black room, head still ringing from where she vaguely remembered being struck. She couldn't recall much of that incident, only that she had been walking alone through the streets of Ponyville and suddenly something had hit her hard on the back of the skull. She must have been knocked out, because next thing she knew she was waking up in this dark room.

She tested the bindings that were holding her down, but could barely budge even putting all of her strength behind her movements. Thick straps of leather wrapped around her body, under her wings, and around the thin table she was tied to. Her fore-hooves were spread out perpendicular from her body, stretched out uncomfortably and secured with leather cuffs held up by chains presumably hanging down from the ceiling. Her hind legs were held apart from what she figured was a spreader bar, and chained to the floor.Her tail felt like it had been trimmed a considerable length, now barely covering anything even as she tried to hold it flat to her rump. Yeah, she definitely did not like where this all seemed to be heading.

"Rainbows!" A disturbingly familiar voice called cheerfully out from the darkness, as a stallion entered the room and stepped into Rainbow's limited sight. A light flickered on, a single dim bulb hanging from the ceiling. "So glad you're finally up. For a while there I was worried I might have bonked you over the head a little to well, and that you'd be deprived of being awake for all the fun things I have in store for you. Lucky for us you've got such a thick skull hidden under that pretty rainbow mane."

"Zephyr, is that you? What the hell do you think you're doing, asshole? Let me free this second or I swear I'm bringing an entire storm system crashing down on your creepy ass as soon as I'm out of here." Rainbow spoke, trying to fill her voice with as much confidence and authority as she could. The truth was that this whole situation was already out of her control, and the initial surprise of her captor's identity had given way to a grim certainty of what he intended to do to her. If the spreader bar and the shorn tail hadn't been clues enough, knowing Zephyr and how he lusted for her had sealed the deal in her mind. She was definitely getting raped down here if she couldn't get free. Hopefully that was all he had planned for her.

"Aww, don't fret Rainbows," Zephyr comforted her as he moved closer and began to gently stroke her face with a hoof. "You don't have to put on that tough girl facade down here, just let your feeling for me come forth and let's have some fun."

"Feelings for you?" Rainbow repeated in disbelief. "Listen Zeph, I don't know what the hell is going on in that head of yours, but just let me go now and we can pretend this was all just another of your dumb pranks."

"No can do, my sweet," he cooed. "I'm done waiting for you to admit how you feel for me, and I'm through enduring all your teasing in the meantime. Do you have any idea how hard it's been for me to watch you pretend to care about all that flying crap and being a Wonderbolt just to get my attention?" his voice deepened as his anger began to slip through. His hoof wrapped itself in Rainbow's hair, yanking her head up roughly so she was looking directly in his eyes. "All those nights listening to you and my sister having sex, knowing you were just fucking her to make me jealous?" His other hoof slammed hard against her face, catching her off guard and causing her to see stars as blood began to drip from her nose. "Teasing me is one thing, but using my sister like that crosses the line. Do you know she actually loves you, and thinks that you feel the same for her? I've never had the heart to tell her that you're obviously just using her body to get at me. I hoped she might realize it on her own one day, but my sister is too kind to even consider one of her so called friends would do something that cruel to her."

"Are you an idiot?" Rainbow exploded, voice filling with anger as he accused her of using Fluttershy like that. "Your sister and I have been dating for years, and we both feel the same for each other. You're the lunatic who's never been able to get that through his stupid head. The only feeling I have for you is annoyance that you never seem to get the fact that I'm not into you."

Some part of her knew it was probably not a great idea to insult him right now, given the position she was in, but her own anger was overtaking her better judgement. Besides, there wasn't a lot she could do to get herself free right now, and if she was about to get raped by him, she might as well make it clear that she wasn't going to enjoy it.

"I'm not attracted to you, Zephyr, and I never have been. Honestly, I don't really even like you at all. And I fucking guarantee that no amount of binding me, beating me, or raping me is going to change those feelings in a positive manner. Now let me go or you're going to be sorry," she yelled.

Zephyr's hoof struck her face again, landing solidly against her mouth with enough force to knock a tooth out. She spat it out, along with a glob of blood, and stared in shock at the brother of her closest friend. This was getting bad. He began to talk to her again, his voice steady and calm now, which somehow made Rainbow far more nervous than when he had been angry.

"Honestly Rainbows, I'm done caring about what you want," he said with a resigned sigh. "For nearly twenty years I've waited for you to just admit your love for me. I used to listen to you and Fluttershy fucking in her bedroom, and would touch myself hoping that one day you'd stop putting on the dyke act and come make love to me like we both knew you wanted to."

As he spoke, Rainbow could see an almost wistful look in his eyes for a moment, as she realized with horror that he honestly believed the crap he was spouting. Then his look changed, and all she saw staring back at her was pure anger and hate. He hit her again, this time the blow came straight at her, landing squarely on her already bleeding snout and causing her to yelp with pain.

"I'm through waiting, Rainbows, and I'm through being nice," his spoke with a cold anger, every word carrying with it a silent threat of pain and suffering for the bound mare. "I'm going to make you mine, and I'll make sure that you understand from this day on that the only purpose you'll ever have is servicing me. Just like you've secretly always wanted."

"You're cra-" she started to say, before being hit again. The room was beginning to spin from the repeated blows to the face, and she was starting to have trouble focusing her eyes on Zephyr. Before she could shake out of her daze, Zephyr had gagged her with a strip of cloth, muffling her words and forcing her to swallow the blood still welling in her mouth.

"We'll talk again later, Rainbow," he spoke, "but right now I want to claim what's been rightfully mine since the day we met."

Zephyr moved out of her view, but Rainbow could pretty easily figure out where he was going. She was quickly proven correct when she felt his weight on her back as he mounted her. She shuddered as she felt the tip of his cock rubbing against her entrance. She tried to shout out further threats and protests, but whatever she tried to say was lost to her gag before reaching Zephyr's ears. She doubted anything she could say would stop what was about to happen anyway. Zephyr had been lusting over her for almost as long as they had known each other, and she doubted anything would persuade him from stopping now that his desire was merely a thrust away.

Rainbow Dash screamed into the cloth as he entered her, pushing himself inside to the hilt with a single thrust. A feeling of revulsion crept through Rainbow's body as she felt the intruding member invade her inner depths. She could hear her rapist moaning and grunting above as he fucked her. Rainbow tried to shake him off, but she could barely move against her restraints and her wings her currently pinned down beneath Zephyr's body, so her attempts had little success. All she could do was lay there and take it as Zephyr's cock pumped in and out of her body, hoping that he'd at least be a quick shot and this whole ordeal would be over once he had his chance to cum inside her.

Zephyr's pace began to speed up as he repeatedly slammed into Rainbow's prone body. What had begun with a steady rhythm had now devolved into mindless ravishing as he used her. Disgust filled her mind as he reached his peak and fired off inside of her. She could feel his seed sloshing inside of her as he came deep inside of her body and at last pulled off of her. Rainbow lay panting and sore, upset with her own body as an instinctual sense of emptiness overtook her when Zephyr withdrew his cock. She hated herself for missing the feel of a stallion inside her, she hated the feel of cum oozing out of her now empty hole, and she hated the stallion who had just raped her. She just wanted to go home, take a shower, and cry. Unfortunately, Zephyr had other plans for her.

"Wow, that felt even better than I imagined it would," Zephyr cheerfully proclaimed as he trotted back into view. He smiled brightly at Rainbow, ignoring the blood and tears soaking the fur on her face. "I'd ask if I felt better than my sister, but I already know you'd rather lie than admit your love for me."

If looks could kill, Rainbow Dash would have been staring at a very dead pony.

"Don't worry, my dear , I know your pride won't let you admit your feelings and accept that your life should be spent worshiping my amazing dick," Zephyr continued. He moved to Rainbow's side and began stroking a hoof along her back. She despised feeling him pet her like this, especially as he moved to her sensitive wings, tickling the mare with his touch.

"That's why I set this whole day up for us. I'm going to take away all those distractions that delude you into thinking there's more to your life than riding my cock," he said as he planted a kiss on the back of her neck, still stroking her wings, "starting with these."

With that ominous statement, he left her side. Rainbow could hear him trotting to some far off part of the room, and she tried to strain her neck around to follow him. Sweat began to drip from her body as she tried to figure out what Zephyr meant. He wouldn't seriously do something to her wings, right? Being raped was one thing; unpleasant and sickening to be sure, but she knew that she could move past that eventually. But flying was everything to her. She had never felt more vulnerable than she did now, wondering what this crazy stallion was planning to do to her wings while she was helpless to stop him.

She heard what sounded like Zephyr rummaging through a cabinet at the far end of the room, before his hoofsteps began to come closer again. The sound of something metal dragging agaisnt the floor as he approached made her further shake with fear. Until a minute ago, Rainbow had assumed the worst case scenario of this whole ordeal was that she'd spend a few days tied up down here getting raped by Zephyr until one of her friends found and rescued her. A terrible thing to happen to a mare, but eventually, after Zephyr was locked in some deep dark dungeon for the rest of his life, something she'd be able to overcome and put behind her. But what if he did something permanent to damage her wings? What would be the point of getting rescued if she couldn't fly anymore once she was out? She didn't want to think about it. Every fiber of her being prayed that Twilight would blast a hole through the wall of this room and save her before Zephyr had the opportunity to touch her again. But Zephyr was getting closer and there was no sign of magical explosions saving the day.

Rainbow's heart sank when Zephyr came back into view, and the dim light revealed what it was that he was carrying. She whimpered as she glimpsed the jagged metal teeth of the saw he held in his wings, faint yellow light tracing their sharp edges. She began to writhe and struggle against her bonds harder than ever, though it was a fruitless effort. Zephyr simply smiled as he watched her, slowly walking up to her and readying his tool.

"Shhh," he hushed her as he placed the jagged edge against her cheek,drawing a thin trail of blood before she froze and stopped moving. "If you keep fighting like that your just going to tire yourself out. Just relax and let this happen. I know it's going to hurt, but it really is for your own good. Hopefully you'll see that eventually."

He climbed on top of her prone body and sat on her haunches. Rainbow was disgusted to realize he was getting hard again as she felt his cock resting on her back. He grasped the handle of the saw in his mouth and pinned her left wing down with a firm hoof.

"Here we go," he said as best he could around the handle in his mouth. Then Rainbow's world erupted in a cataclysm of pain.

The teeth of the saw bit into the sensitive flesh at the joint of her wing. As Zephyr drew the blade back, it tore through her fur and skin, her warm blood gushing forth and coating the fur on her back. As Zephyr pushed the blade forward, it began to cut through the cluster of nerves connecting her wing to her body. Rainbow screamed helplessly as the saw did it's work, unable to do anything as he crippled her. Searing white light consumed her vision as her whole body felt like it was on fire, as the nerves in her wing sang out with unyielding pain as they were shredded. Had Rainbow Dash been aware of anything besides her own pain, she would have realized that all her screaming and convulsing had only served to make her tormentor fully erect again, and he began to hump his shaft against her back as he worked.

Zephyr didn't slow down until his saw bit into bone, sending a whole new wave of agony through the mare beneath him. He drew the saw away for a moment as he carelessly manipulated her torn wing with his hooves, twisting and bending it around so he could reach the other side of her wing joint with the saw. Rainbow had lost all control of her body, pissing herself on the table as the saw again cut into her. Zephyr chuckled when he noticed the warm puddle spreading beneath them, continuing to saw through her flesh until the only thing connecting wing to body was exposed bone.

Rainbow could only whimper helplessly as her useless wing was stretched out to her side. She screamed when Zephyr began to stamp his hoof against the crippled limb. Once, twice, three times and a sickening snap signaled the bone finally giving way and breaking free from her body. She sobbed, snot and tears covering her face as what had once been her wing was tossed away out of sight.

"Well, how did that feel, Rainbows?" Zephyr asked, still sitting atop the mare. Rainbow couldn't respond, only continuing to cry into her gag.

"Oh, no snappy comeback? No angry response to dig into my feelings? Nothing to say at all?" Zephyr asked, each question punctuated by jabbing his hoof into the jagged bone protruding from her side. She screamed in pain each time. "See, we're already making progress here, and that was just one wing. Gotta admit though, seeing you like this is kind of hot. Maybe we can have some more fun before I take the other one off."

He shuffled off her back and she could feel his depraved gaze land once again on her privates.

"Oh my, looks like someone had a bit of an accident back here," he said with mocking scorn as he rubbed her piss covered cunt with a hoof, before wiping the dampness off on her back. "Oh well, while we're waiting for that to dry off a bit, I suppose there's other holes we can be using."

Rainbow was helpless as Zephyr mounted her again, barely registering what he was saying while he spoke. Her eyes went wide when she felt the head of his cock press against the puckered hole of her back door, but her begging pleas not to go further were muffled by her gag. Zephyr wouldn't have stopped anyway, and she could only cry as she felt her ass being split apart by his girth. Rainbow wasn't a virgin in that hole, her and Fluttershy had played with every part of each other with their tongues, hooves, and toys. However, it had been a while since Rainbow had taken anything up the butt, and now Zephyr was taking her without lubrication or warming her up. He showed no consideration for her pain as he pushed steadily onward, tearing her insides up as his cock forced its way inside. Blood began to trickle out around his shaft, adding another color to the puddle of cum and piss that soaked Rainbow's nethers. The pain wasn't as bad as having her wing cut off, but it was intense of constant all the same. It grew even worse once Zephyr had pushed himself all the way inside, and he began to fuck her as quickly as he could manage.

Rainbow's insides felt like they were on fire as the stallion sodomized her. She could feel his cock dragging up and down the dry walls of her anal cavity, heedless of whatever damage he might be doing to the mare's body. Rainbow felt like something was breaking inside of her as she was raped. She tried to ignore the pain as best as she could, but the only thoughts that came to her were of what living her life without being able to fly. Whatever else Zephyr did to her, he had already taken the sky from her. The thought of never being able to soar among the clouds was too terrible for her, and she shifted back to focusing on the feeling of Zephyr fucking her. Somehow her anal rape was the less painful option for the mare to think about.

Zephyr came inside Rainbow again, his cum burning as it soaked into her bloody and torn intestinal walls. Zephyr yanked himself out of her body, leaving her ass gaping open and bleeding as he wiped his dick off in her fur.

"That was great! I can't believe you were even tighter in that hole than your pussy," Zephyr complimented Rainbow as he walked around to face her again. "Oh, you know what? I think you've earned the right to talk again. I just hope that this experience so far has taught you some better manners."

Zephyr untied the blood and spit soaked cloth gagging Rainbow, and tossed it casually aside. Rainbow Dash gasped for air as she could now breathe uninhibited through her mouth rather than her broken nose. After a few lungfuls of air, she promptly threw up all over the floor in front of her. Every part of her burned with pain and she felt broken and humiliated by Zephyr. She was no longer sure if she even wanted to be rescued. At this point, death might be the preferable outcome. She didn't want to think about what kind of life she'd have to live were she to escape this room. She looked to her captor with hopeless eyes.

"Why?" she begged for an answer. "Why would you do this all to me? Please just make it stop," she sobbed pathetically as Zephyr watched her.

"Tsk, I'm pretty sure I already explained why I'm doing all this, Rainbow," Zephyr said with annoyance. "If you can't be bothered to pay attention to what I'm saying, then that's on you." He paused a moment to think to himself, then continued. "That said, you do seem a lot less hostile than when we started, so maybe we are making progress. Do you really want me to stop hurting you?"

"Yes, yes please," Rainbow begged, tears welling in her eyes.

"Weellll, I guess I could stop, if you show that you're ready to be a good mare for me," Zephyr said.

"I'll do anything," Rainbow promised, casting aside whatever pride she might still have. She just wanted this all to end. She didn't care what else she had to do to get this over with.

"Perfect, I know just how to test your sincerity," Zephyr said with a bright smile, then reared up and plopped his dick on Rainbow's face. His cock rested on the bridge of her nose, balls touching her lips, as her eyes went cross-eyed staring at his shaft. "Go ahead and suck me off, Rainbows. I'm sure you've dreamt of doing this before anyway. I bet every time my sister had your head buried between her thighs, you secretly wished you had my dick in your mouth rather than her twat. Well, now it's your big chance. Do well and we'll call it a day. Sound like a deal?"

Rainbow Dash did her best to hide her grimace as she considered Zephyr's offer. Flecks of her own blood and shit still stained his dick from when he fucked her ass, and the smell was downright rancid. Still, if a blowjob was all that was standing between her and an end to her torment, then she'd just have to ignore how gross his dick was and do her best.

Rainbow opened her mouth, and Zephyr happily slid his cock into the welcoming entrance. As soon as his dick hit her tongue, Rainbow began to gag at the taste of her filth covering it. She desperately wanted to spit him out and rinse the taste out of her mouth, but she knew she had to give him a satisfying suck if she wanted to get out of here with at least one wing still attached. Rainbow ran her tongue around his dick, forced to lick and swallow her own shit off the head of his cock as she cleaned him. She tried to suppress the dry heaves caused by her body rejecting what she was swallowing. Tears and snot flowed from her eyes and nose as her humiliation continued, dripping down onto Zephyr's dick and being forced back into the mare for her to consume.

As Rainbow Dash struggled to make it through the blowjob, Zephyr began to grow impatient. Thrusting his hips forward, he jammed his cock down Rainbow's throat. Rainbow choked his cock down as he forced his way inside of her. Zephry wrapped his hooves in her mane, painfully tugging at her hair as he forced her head up and down his cock. Rainbow had to catch a few gasps of air each time he pulled his cock far enough out for her to breathe. Zephyr continued to fuck her face and throat for a few minutes, before withdrawing and cumming all over her face and mane. His spurting all over her face caught Rainbow by surprise, and she didn't have time to shut her eyes before a glob of his cum landed squarely on her right eyeball. She screamed, blinking repeatedly to try to clear the salty fluid from her eye, but she had no way to wipe it clear on her own and Zephyr had no intention to help.

"Zephyr," she begged, her voice hoarse and thin from the abuse her throat had just endured, "please, my eye, it burns. Wipe it clear, please."

Zephyr laughed as he watched the mare's eye and face spasm and twitch. He smeared the flaccid head of his cock against her damaged eye, rubbing more cum and fluid into it. She begged him to stop, but suddenly was silenced as a stream of warm liquid splashed against her face. She realized with horror that he was pissing on her, aiming his stream directly at her eye. The warm, salty liquid, forcing her to clench the lids tightly together so as to not get his piss in her eye. Zephyr switched his target, directing his stream into her open mouth. Rainbow swallowed instinctively as the liquid entered her mouth, desperate for anything to soothe the burning in her throat. The acrid flavor of his piss was terrible, but Rainbow found it to be preferable to the fecal remnants left by Zephyr's cock on her tongue, so she swished the piss around her mouth to clean it before swallowing the cocktail of defecation down with a shudder.

Once his stream had petered off, Rainbow raised her head to plead again with her captor. She was a pathetic sight by this point. Her mane was a mess, one eye was unable to open, and her face was covered in blood, snot, piss, and vomit. Zephyr stared back uncaring, amused by the suffering of the mare who had caused him to suffer so long while she played hard to get.

"p-please..." Rainbow managed to squeak out. "Did as you asked, please stop doing this to me."

"Oh, believe me Rainbow, I'd love to help you out here. But, if we're being honest, I really kind of feel like I was doing most of the work during that blowjob," Zephyr said, his voice free of even a hint of sympathy for Rainbow's suffering. "And then, to make matters worse, when I was considerate enough to paint the pretty face of yours with my cum, all you could think about was wiping it off. I didn't even hear so much as a thank you for all my work."

Rainbow Dash didn't respond. All she could do was stare back in disbelief, the creeping horror that her pain had yet to end slowly building in her mind.

"Oh well," Zephyr said with a shrug, "I guess you didn't want that other wing after all. It's a shame, really. I just hope you make as cute an earth pony as you did a pegasus."

"please, d-don't," the mare blubbered, "no more. p-please, no more."

If Zephyr heard her, he made no effort to acknowledge her please. He picked the saw he had used earlier back up, contemplated it for a moment, then set it back down.

"Let's mix it up a little, okay Rainbow? You know, they say romance suffers if you don't mix things up in the bedroom."

Rainbow could do nothing but watch with terror as Zephyr walked back to where ever he had retrieved his saw earlier and rummaged around for something else. Her remaining eye bulged in horror as he returned with a hammer, imagining what that was soon going to feel like being slammed into her wing over and over.

"Now, let me just get into position and we can get started on that right wing, alright?" Zephyr asked, not waiting to hear a response.

Rainbow let out a light gasp despite herself as she felt Zephyr enter inside her pussy again. As he slid his full length into her hole for a second time, a small part of Rainbow's fractured mind was slightly impressed that the stallion was still able to get hard despite how many times he had came so far today. That little voice quickly shut up once Zephyr hilted inside of her, and slammed the head of his hammer into Rainbow's wing as he slid his cock outward. He settled into a tortuous rhythm, slamming his dick forcefully into Rainbow's cunt, then slamming down onto her wing on the backstroke. Over and over he pounded Rainbow in this manner, earning a near constant scream that slowly dwindled into a pathetic whine as her voice gave out.

Rainbow was dimly aware of Zephyr cumming inside her again, but that mattered little to her as her torture continued. Again and again the head of the hammer slammed down on the bones of her remaining wing, crushing the structure of the limb into pulp. Once he pulled out of her completely, he grasped her wing in his mouth as began to pull it away from her body. A whole new flash of pain exploded in her as the broken bones and muscled slowly parted from her torso, letting Zephyr rip the appendage from her body. Blood gushed out of the new stump once her amputation was complete. Dash noticed she was beginning to get light headed from all the blood loss, and wondered if maybe she'd be lucky enough to bleed out and die before Zephyr noticed.

Zephyr took a step back from the broken wreck of a pony laid out before him. Rainbow Dash lacked the energy to speak any more, emitting quiet whimpers as she pleaded with him with her good eye. What she saw when she looked to Zephyr was a look of pure disgust as his eyes wandered up and down her body.

"You know what, Rainbow? I've gotta say that I may not have thought this all the way through," he spoke. "I almost hate to admit it, and I hope I don't hurt your feelings saying this, but now that I'm looking at you with all that pride and attitude stripped away, I just don't find you all that attractive anymore," he said with a dismissive shrug.

Rainbow could only stare back.

"Oh well, live and learn, I guess. On the upside, I feel like I'm finally able to move on past you and maybe start exploring my options with other mares. So, I guess it all kind of works out to a net positive in the end, just not the way I had planned from the start."

Rainbow Dash mustered her remaining energy to speak, "will you let me go?"

"Oh, sorry, no can do babe," Zephyr responded instantly. "Like I said, I am sorry to do all that stuff to you just to ditch you in the end, but you know the saying 'the grass is greener on the other side', right? That said, I'm pretty sure you'd be pretty angry about all this once you got healed up, and Fluttershy would absolutely bitch at me for days if she found out I broke her favorite toy. I think it's probably better for everyone if you just stay down here. Don't worry, no one's going to find you here, and you'll die of blood loss or dehydration soon enough. I'd hate to leave you suffering for too long. Anyway, ciao Rainbows. I'll try to remember the good times we had together. And again, mea culpa on the whole rape and torture thing."

And then he was gone, switching off the solitary light as he left. Rainbow was left tied down alone, in the cold darkness of the unfamiliar room, wracked with pain and regrets, and wishing above all else that she could see Fluttershy one last time. To tell her how much she loved her, and to see her face just one last time before the end. Rainbow cried silently to herself and waited for death to free her from her pain.